#i just realized how wonky the hand looks OTL

[bearer-of-anguish]

Diatober Day 1+5: Fangs + Bloody

Quite late, but here's Vampire Yui to start off Diatober! The prompts are from @fruit-of-infidelity 's Diatober list!

More context/ extra thoughts on artwork below cut, if you're interested c:

So there's a webtoon called Orange Marmalade where the MC is a vampire who has to hide her actual identity due to how they are perceived by the human society. Two things: most of the vampires in OM doesn't drink human blood, and instead opts for alternatives like pig blood instead (including the MC) + to hide her fangs, the MC files her teeth everyday so they remain sharp and dull like a normal human.

This Vampire Yui is inspired by those two things! Originally I sketched just Yui dulling her fangs and drinking 'tomato juice' at the rooftop, but I didn't like how they turned out, so I combined them instead, and changed up the setting for the scenario. Yui in this AU doesn't have the convenience of blood bags so she hunts to get her fuel, and sometimes it gets messy. This is one of those times.

Since it's October my head is full of all kinds of vampire Yui so hopefully I'll be able to draw more of her :D

[bishiglomper]

Oh my fucking god

I'm never stepping foot inside a nail salon again 💀

Niece earlier was like. "(Bishi). I need to do something. Either I need an eyebrow piercing- I'll pay for your second earlobe piercing, yeah? Just come with me. That's option one. Or option 2, i want like some acrylic nails. If you come with me I'll pay for some like. Gel nails for you"

I voted for piercings. But the place is closed on Thursdays. 💀

So we went to the nail salon.

The second I stepped foot in there i was hit with vertigo. Like i was prepared for the smell, it wasnt even a problem. But my head felt so fucking weird. It wasnt just vertigo, i was getting mild shocks of that jarring sensation in the back of my head too.

Oh, and when i stood up to leave the house i found out i had low blood sugar. I shoved a donut in my mouth on the way out.

So i don't know if it was thr blood sugar, the new situation (never had nails done before and the person hardly spoke English) OR.. it was a symptom of whatrver migraine fuckery was going on. But i got so shakey. I kept bumping my nails inside the uv light dryer. I had to slide them in very carefully, I was visibly shaking. Thankfully i was fine when he was holding my hand, lol it was just using my muscles that things went wonky.

But i got home and i dont know how long i'd had this new symptom, but sitting there I realized my teeth felt itchy. Staticy. You know the feeling. Like when a glob of frosting or something sweet or whatever hits your throat wrong and your teeth itch. My hands and feet felt like that too. So i went to lay down for an hour or two. I skipped dinner because i knew I'd be too into sensation overload to eat. So i got up when the itchy teeth feeling mostly went away.

Got up. Had more vertigo. I hit the landing and it felt like biological warfare against my retinas. The house felt so fucking bright. Which is weird because we dont have any ceiling lights, just lamps, so the house is usually very dark.

I found out sissy fixed one lamp so it wasnt entirely my head. But wow is it bad. I had mom find my wrap-around sunglasses. It's still really uncomfortable.

Also my eyes were itchy and gooey from cat exposure. Just to add insult. And its hard to look at my phone btw. (Bong water slept on top of me for at least half an hour, aww)

Then i get down there and discover i have the wobbles. Sometimes when i try to stand still my legs start constantly buckling and i look like a marrionette struggling to stand. At least thats what it feels like... Strangely enough it doesnt feel like im a fall risk or anything but its annoying. Imagine doing that while someone's trying to hug you. 💀

I think im having a cross between a migraine and a fibro flare. Thankfully I'm not in typical pain. I feel the ironic pain tho.

😭

But yeah I dont wanna do this again OTL

[sionnac]

Well, here it is, as I predicted.  The Burn Notice blurb.  I thought maybe I should barf it out now before I devolve into incoherent feels and things hit a little too close to home in the later seasons, and I clam up like...like a clam.  Shhh.  Three hours of sleep don’t make for good metaphor brain.  

BURN NOTICE SPOILERS AHEAD.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.  It’s long.  Like, really long.  I really haven’t slept in a while.  

Burn Notice is Michael Westen’s story.  Michael is a lot of things -- driven, brave, sacrificial, loving, caring, heroic at times, even -- but he is decidedly not a hero.  He’s not even a good person who makes bad choices.  At best, he’s a human-y human making as decent human choices as he can.  

He’s someone who tries his best to find the best solutions to problems with the lowest collateral damage he can come out with, but has very little problems going the route of permanent solutions when it comes down to it.  Ultimately, it’s this cold, inhuman decisiveness in contrast with Mike’s warmer human side that I found riveting.

If you asked around, you’d find some mixed opinions about how our protagonist is portrayed.  Some might even tell you it’s bad acting.  Opinions are opinions, but personally?  A lot of Burn Notice episodes can be enjoyed as one shots each separately, but not watching them collectively makes you miss the subtle consistency in Mike’s personality.  

The truth is, Mike isn’t just a spy putting on one mask.  He’s a guy wearing a spy mask, wearing an assortment of masks tailored to fit the job at hand.  Take off the job-specific mask, and you get Spy!Mike, a competent, mission-focused, decisive, calm, flat affect maverick.  That thing where he goes dry, monotone Mike?  I’m in the camp that believes it’s an intentional acting choice.  PTSD makes people’s emotions wonky  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Compartmentalization is a thing.  Even around friends and family, this is the Mike we see most of the time.   

Spy!Mike will eat a yogurt while casually pondering murder.  Spy!Mike always has a dry, witty remark ready, is clever, and actually is kind of fun to be around.  Spy!Mike will also break all the bones in your body, throw you off a building, or shoot you clean in the head if he’s done having his inner moral argument and you ended up on the wrong side of that argument.  

We actually see very little of actual Mike, except for little moments where he chooses to open up because he’s actively trying to connect to someone.  That’s where you see irrational human Mike, the Mike that is overprotective and profoundly anxious over people he cares about getting hurt to the point he’ll override what they want to keep them safe....while at the same time stubbornly putting himself in harm’s way to do what he wants.  It’s the Mike who has a blind spot where kids are involved in abusive situations, the Mike who chose to run from his own abusive home to find some semblance of stability only to realize the world is just as confusing and the lines just as blurry, if not more. BUT.  But it’s also where you see the little cheeky grins and the soft smiles and the straightforward, “You look beautiful, Fi.”

.......I think we can stop here.  OTL Is already long. OTL