#i just put cali as the woman bc hes been on my mind a lot

[acircusfullofdemons]

I think I'm funny

[ushiwakaout]

parings: Ushijima x reader , Iwaizumi x reader and Sakusa x reader 

warnings: NSFW (under the black lines) daddy kink w hajime, Timeskip Haikyuu. language? jealousy? fannon sakusa? anal w sakusa. bad grammar :)

a/n: as a compressed woman myself, i don’t think there is enough compressed content out there, or maybe i haven’t found any. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

this man LOVES you, you cannot put it into words

let’s start with being in public 

he isn’t touchy feely with you in public, never. he think it looks bad and does’t wanna make you uncomfy

does hold your hand... kind of. You def. have smaller hands than he does so you grab his pinky most of the time, he thinks its really damn cute.

leaned down to kiss your forehead.

if you’re ever out to go eat at like a stand or sum, he sits down and he’s basically looking at you or at your chest depending on the chair.

ONLY PDA THING HE WILL DO ONCE IN A WHILE IS LEAN HIS HEAD ON YOUR CHEST AND PUT HIS HANDS ON YOUR BUTT IF HES FEELING ADVENTUROUS.

i know id love this- HIM LOOKING UP AT YOU AND ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO LIKE CARESS YOUR LOVE HANDLES OR HIPS BC UR SO THICC AND HE FUCKING LOVES EVERY SINGLE INCH *sigh* im touch starved

When it comes to being at home, he’s legit the most handsiest airhead in the freaking world

He could be laying on the couch, he makes you sit on his lap and your like “mmm, no” but he reminds you that he’s legit full nelsoned your ass while standing in front of a mirror and you like “..... y-you don’t need to remind me!!!” so you sit on his lap

y’all start talking and he’s like really distracted with you chest, doesn’t matter the size he just want his hand on your boobs.

very touchy man in private, this man was touch starved until you came in and now he can get enough.

“Toshi? What are you doing?”

Hes caressing your boobies and he just smiles like the big dumb idiot he is and whispers something about being in love with your chest and he sits up a lil and just shoves his face in ur tits, like not even in a sexual way.

let’s also add a lil nsfw in this fluff

when you guys first did the deed you hesitated in taking of your clothes, you did not want him to see you naked, not yet at least. he didn’t mind at, but he made you wear his shirt.

you kissed him and changed in the bathroom and when you came out wearing his shirt like a dress, he got embarrassingly hard 

that day he realized that his favorite position w you (only when you wear his shirts) is doggy style bc he’d ruin all his shirts and ball up the hem of it to pull you so deep into his cock and holy shit he’s never felt so much euphoria

he’s got you screaming his name, drooling over the bed sheets, covering his cock with your orgasm. god he loves the sight of your body giving out due to multiple orgasms.

also loves eating you out, wow

he’s told you that he’d be happy if he suffocated in-between your thighs

you had to let out a giggle but like it turned into a moan

cocky bastard

loves leaving marks on you, there’s so much skin to cover, and he wants to do it all.

Iwaizumi Hajime

I 100% believe that this boys mother is compressed as well and you cannot tell me otherwise

loves public pda especially at night

has to be touching you in some way shape or form

either holds your hand, your waist or your ass, just depends how you’re feeling and how he’s feeling

kisses your hand or the crown on your head

say if your ever standing in line and your in front of him, he will lean his head down and put his chin on top of your head

slaps your ass when he think no one is looking BUT SOMEONE IS ALWAYS LOOKING and he just makes you really embarrassed

i think he’s definitely an ass guy so he pinches your butt a lot

when he went to Irvine in Cali, he just had to take you with him, he couldn’t just leave his baby all alone without him.

you guys had a free day so y’all went to laguna beach, lucky it wasn’t as packed as it usually was or so you heard

at this point iwaizumi has given you enough confidence to wear a two piece, (obviously high waisted)  

half the time at the beach you felt like he wanted to bark at the guys who stared at your ass while you sun bathed.

he’d bother you a lot for kisses and low key make out sessions

and let me tell you when he pulled away from the kiss and saw how plum and fucking red your lips where, he was hard, he’s never wanted you to wrap you mouth around his cock so bad

he calmed down for a bit, went into the water and cooled down, while you still laid on you belly enjoying the sun

at some point he was the one sunbathing and you where in the water

and now he believes that he picked the wrong pair of short to wear bc he got hard while watching you walk back to your spot, water just dripping down every curve and in every crook of your body

“We’re going back to the hotel now.”

you don’t complain, it’s not like you didn’t fucking notice how hard his cock was, it made your mouth drool

god getting to the hotel, he wasted no time at all what so ever.

kissed you all around, you skin tasted salty and fresh on his tongue

you broke the kiss to tell him that you guys should probably get into the shower or sand will be everywhere. 

SHOWER SEX

Hajime has a love/hate relationship with shower sex but today he didn’t care, he just pounded into your pussy like it was the last time he’d ever feel you

He loves pulling your body, you back close this his chest while he’s ramming into you, whispering the naughtiest things in your ears.

it either “you’re so tight, fuck, you’re twitching. Does it feel that good, hm? You’re pussy wrapped around my cock, taking me in so well. You love this don’t you, filthy little thing you are.”

he also likes teasing you, god he loves just holding your hips just to fuck you so slowly, edging you. “Are you gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock? You’re gonna be daddy’s good girl and cum all over my cock, right?” 

he’s such an asshole, i need to stop writing bc i legit wont stop. i love hajime so much omfg

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Oh boy Sakusa is def hard to write about, but i love him so ill do it

I think is he dated a compressed reader, he’d def tease them about their height, never their weight

Although he’s always been iffy about touching, there’s just something about you

he always has to be touching you somehow

his teammates at MSBY are really surprised to figure out that he has an S/O and that he lives and breathes the same air as their Oomi

They are really surprised when you come one day after practice and he doesn’t immediately go to the showers, go goes straight to kiss you just to say a quick hello and then he rushes into the shower. 

Atsumu’s like, “how you do dat?” you shrug it off bc you have no idea either bc ever since you’ve started dating he gets a lot more comfortable with you

his teammates love you by the way especially bokuto and hinata (ima say u used to be karasunos co manager w yachi)

thicc boys and girls hang together

anytime bokuto tries hugging you, you’re ready to accept him with open arms but Oomi is just like NO. BIG NO

Pouty boy sakusa doesn’t want bo accidentally feeling you up bc thats his job

Obviously atsumu is the comic meme where it’s like “are you sakusa’s new girlfriend! Dude! He told me you were hot but i didn’t believe him, bc like have you seen him? out of his league. Like, btw, fuck him, dude. Lets elope- I AIN’T DOIN NOTHIN!”  atsumu thinks you’re hot always flirts w/ you bc he low key has a thing for thicc girls (probably gonna write something about that bc i know for a fact people believe that he’d call a big girl “pig” but i think he’d be the type of asshole to hide the fact that he’s dating you bc he’s called people pigs and what not but during his time at MSBY bokuto def. rubbed of on him.

atsumu high key doesn’t remember you but YOU DEF REMEMBER HIM

you bumped into him while refilling waters and he’s like “watch it pig”

sakusa heard what you said and atsumus like “oh shit....”

you can’t tell me sakusa did not grad his usual cute scarf and try to suffocate him with it bc he insulted his s/o before he was their s/o

“we barely knew each other then stop trying to kill him Oomi!”

high key sakusa saw you that day and was like wow.

you can out of the bathroom with ur cute hand towel and hand sanitizer, you were low key sick but didn’t wanna put anyone at risk so u had a mask on too

you caught his looking and you just waved, you don’t really remember that day but he def does bc he fell i love with u then and there

his cousin had to drag him away from following you down the hall and ask what was you cleaning regimen bc he knew id freak u out a lil but it really wouldn’t have.

sukusa is only public handsy if he’s tipsy or when he’s at home w you and the three boys (atsumu, bokuto and hinata) he says he hates them but he doesn’t and you know that bc he wouldn’t let them into their house if he did

they WILL NOT LEAVE IF THE MISS THE TRAIN OR ARE TOO DRUNK TO WALK YOU FORCE OOMI TO LET THEM SLEEP OVER

You’re like covering them with blankets any everything and lightly waking them up to put a pillow under their head, hinata low key starts crying bc he says you’re so sweet and that oomi should be feel so lucky that he’s got someone like you

okay hinata almost makes you cry but u like just boop his nose and giggle it off 

while you’re covering up atsumu, he starts flirting with you and u just laugh but tell me why sakusa will come behind you and just wrap his arms around you, puts his chin on your shoulder and glares at him

basically saying “leave my woman alone.” 

atsumu is high key (even if sakusa doesnt realize but you do) enticing sakusa so you can get a good fuck tonight bc he feels a lil bad for intruding.

TELL ME WHY IT WORKS THO

Sakusa will like drag you to bed, tease you. tie your hand behind your back so you can’t touch him and all you can do is watch him strip for you

god his body is sculpted by Himeros himself because his body is so damn sexy 

after hes down to his boxers he covers your eyes with a cloth and he gives you a good face fucking,

you cannot tell me that he doesn’t get so fucking hard after taking off the cloth and seeing how red a watery your eyes are

also this motherfucker is so dirty in bed i’m sorry (cannon him will not touch u tho like mmm sakusa cannon is a pillow prince, its still hot, def will write about it soon)

he would lick up you salty tears, and kiss your plump lips after he made you swallow his cum

he fucks you in front of the mirror that day but not on the bed

he makes you lean into your vanity so you can see up close how much of a drooling and crying mess me make you

you’re gipping onto the vanity and you’re on your fucking tippy toes, you’re twitching and so close to breaking the fucking vanity bc this isn’t your first orgasm, its probably the third or fourth

he’s covering your mouth with one hand and the other on your hip for grip as he pounds you

he might stick a finger or two in your mouth 

OH GOD I JUST THOUGHT- I JUST THOUGHT OF HIM LIKE spreading your ass too see how much you’ve cummed on his cock and he get’s the sudden urge to put this thumb in you ass, so he just runs his thumb around and it surprises you but he sees how you just tightened around his cock

he gives you a cocky look and just leans into your ear AND WHISPERS SO MANY DIRTY FUCKING THINGS WHILE NIBBLING AND LICKING YOUR EAR

“You’re such a dirty whore baby, I haven’t even put it in and you just tightened around me so good. I think- god you feel so tight... I think you might just cum from slipping my thumb into that cute ass of yours”

FILTHY , SAKUSA IS A FILTHY WHORE AND ITS FUCKING HOT

a/n: i wrote too much for sakusa when i was like wtf am i gonna write AND I ENDED UP WRITING THE MOST FOR HIM JFSIBFBSDFSKFHS IM NOT SURPRISED do i smell favoritism? yes. i’m not ashamed. 

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[hausofmamadas]

Sometimes I get mad that the emojis available on Discord are not available everywhere else because the way I am :Pasevil: laughing rn is something you all should get a sense of, visually not just textually.

Like okay, so just a few notes aka a few things that either cracked me up or devastated me or some uncomfortable combination of the two.

What kind of savages are we in business with?! Gilberto finally turns away from the TV, “You both met them before, right? You told me the guy was a discreet businessman, like us!”

The meta way that @purplesong1028 is lowkey calling out Miguel Ángel for telling the Cali guys, “Gorl. Do not even worry. I’m a discreet businessman like you guys, above the drama. I’m like soooooiiii chill don’t even worry.” And proceeds to be the absolute least discreet, least chill person ever. Besides, maybe our part-time politician, part-time drug lord, part-time domestic terrorist, full-time drama queen Pablo Escobar.

Pacho downs his whisky, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

The way that I can see him doing this like in my mind’s eye, as tho it’s something he’s always done, speaks to the quality of the canon consistency which we love to see.

“You got it for me on my birthday, along with some other stuff.” “Some other stuff?” Neto snorts, “I got you a new bike, you little fucker!”

Okay, this conversation - so comfortable, so familiar, filled with sadness and regret, but also filled with reminiscence, had me positively clutching my chest in tiny agony. Also, Amado fucking FORGETTING he got a bike bc he was stoked on the plane: a) just is the essence of Amado, like the man who continues to dress like a mortician even after he has more money than God, the man who accidentally charms the woman he’s into, by spilling his drink all over himself/being the least smooth possible. The man doesn’t need a lot, juh feel? and b) also such a little kid thing to do. They glob onto the weirdest shit😂

Time seems to have stopped here in the mountains. The sun will still rise tomorrow, and the day after that, but it doesn’t matter to him anymore.

Alright how dare you s l a m me in the face with this beautiful, profound, lyrical, perfect description of both that part of nature and also that like nihilistic, nothing-to-lose, everything’s-fucked-till-Tuesday-let’s-do-shots-smoke-like-a-chimney-and-cry-into-an-ashtray state of mind that Miguel Ángel is in at this moment. Cause like, I’ve been there. And by “there” i mean that feel where nature and the universe’s eternal, stoic indifference to your pain is more comforting than upsetting because your whole life is afire. Cmon, like there’s no way im the only one… wipe that look off your face …

… so he knows he’s been right all along, that Miguel only wants people as much as he needs them …

Oh yes, thanks so much for joining us. Welcome. I will now present to you the only graduate thesis, the only fucking instruction manual for the broken man that is Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo that you will ever need.

Miguel frowned and reached for the whisky glass on the table. It had been there for hours and the ice cubes already melted a long time ago …

Okay, like, your mind? This is such a small detail and I can’t explain why I love it so much, idk why I’m reacting to it but I love this.

Amado let go of the glass and put up both hands, giving him a clear victory before he even tried to fight for it, but Miguel didn’t feel like winning.

Morgan Freeman narrates: Regrettably, this would be the only time, ever in his life, that Miguel Ángel had not felt like winning.

Acosta gives him another long look, then pats him on the shoulder. “Go home, Dopey. We don’t need you here today.”

As far as Amado remembers, he’s never seen him like that, ever.

Did you like escape the Narcos writers room with this. Bc down to the perpetual world-weary chill, the kind of chill where Amado’s literally never seen his mouth open wider than the width of a cigar and it’s now gaping open in shock … peak Acosta.

Wrong in All the Right Ways

Chapter 6: End of the Road

As Neto and Miguel hide from DEA after Kiki dies, Amado makes a shocking discovery about Pacho’s gift for him.

Rating: PG 13 (This chapter only, entire work is 18+)

Paring: Amado/Miguel, Amado/Pacho

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34735498/chapters/94161922

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3   Chapter 4 Chapter 5

“The search continues in Mexico for missing US DEA agent Kiki Camerena…”

Pacho takes a long drag of cigarette and glances at Gilberto and Miguel, both intensely staring at the TV screen. No one saw this coming. Diego had absolutely no idea prior to it, and neither did his other informants in Mexico. As frustrating as it is, Pacho can’t really blame them: a fucking DEA agent?! Who would have thought…who in their right mind would do that?

“What kind of savages are we in business with?!” Gilberto finally turns away from the TV, “You both met them before, right? You told me the guy was a discreet businessman, like us!”

Pacho and Miguel share a look, both seeing rage and confusion in each other’s eyes.

“We’re sorry, hermano.” Miguel speaks first, “We really had no idea. I honestly still don’t know how this even happened.”

“None of my informants has anything useful either.” Pacho adds in, looking down at several major newspapers spread out on the table, all with the same headline. “Not that it matters now.”

“You know how bad this could get? These Mexicans move our stuff. They know our routes, our contacts in the US, the location of our fucking warehouses! What do you think would happen if the Americans get them?”

“I know, Gilberto, I know.” Pacho downs his whisky, and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I already spoke to Chepe. We’re securing these locations, switching the contacts. We’ll move our products around if we need to.”

“Well, good. Keep me updated on that.” Gilberto takes a deep breath, “I’m going to make a few calls. Let me know if anything else comes up.”

Miguel takes one last look at the TV as they all get up. “They better kill that motherfucker, so he doesn’t talk.”

**

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming back?” Amado paces back and forth around the bedroom, wiping his forehead again. This ceiling fan really doesn’t help with the desert heat at all.

“So what, you’re just gonna stay in Puerto Vallarta until they fucking get you?”

“Yup, and when they do, I will be looking into the ocean.” There’s no distress in Neto’s voice, as if he’s just enjoying an ordinary vacation by the sea, not living out his last few free days. Or last few days. “Ha, maybe even under the sunset.”

“Look, there has to be another way, no? What��did Miguel say anything?”

“Miguel?” Neto laughs out loudly, “Kid, get your head out of the cloud! He fucking got us into this shit!”

“No, I know! I just…” Amado runs a hand through his hair. “I thought you guys bought some time after you handed Rafa over to them.”

“Well, no amount of time will solve this.” Amado hears a woman laughing, and Neto stops talking briefly to join her. “He killed a fucking DEA. It’s over.”

“Amado, escúchame.” Neto lets out a long sigh as Amado falls silent, the seriousness in his voice matching up to this dire situation for the first time. “I know he’s your friend, but there’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do.”

Amado leans back on a wall, letting the weight of these words crushing into his rib cage, squeezing his heart.

“Stay in Juárez, you hear me? Acosta is a smart guy, he’ll know what to do. You stay out of this mess.”

But what about you? Amado wants to ask, almost instinctively, but he doesn’t. There’s no need to waste time on useless questions.

“Remember when I was six or something? One day my parents brought me into the city, and I saw this little toy plane in a store.” Amado walks over to the shelf, gently brushing a small black plane model with his fingertips. “It wasn’t even that nice, pretty cheap stuff, but we still couldn’t afford it.”

It used to be white, but over the years, most of its paint has fallen off, so eventually he just repainted it completely black.

“You got it for me on my birthday, along with some other stuff.”

“Some other stuff?” Neto snorts, “I got you a new bike, you little fucker!”

“Oh right! Shit, I totally forgot!”

They burst out laughing, genuinely, effortlessly, until they stop, both catching their breathe.

“Te extraño mucho, tío.”

Neto doesn’t speak, doesn’t say it back, so Amado closes his eyes and focuses on the faint background noise of waves splashing on the rocks, and young women’s flirtatious laugh. He stays like this for a long time, until the phone disconnects from the other side.

**

Time seems to have stopped here in the mountains. The sun will still rise tomorrow, and the day after that, but it doesn’t matter to him anymore. He has a week, and then if he’s extremely lucky, maybe a lifetime on a deserted, beautiful little island where no one can find him. Time goes on, but he will simply disappear from everything he’s built. The governor’s right: it’s over.

Miguel almost jumps when the phone rings.

“Hey, man.” The other side speaks before he even says hello, but doesn’t say anything else.

“Amado.” He’s not sure if he just smiled, but it feels like he might have. He’s not expecting the call, but at the same time, it doesn’t surprise him one bit.

Amado slumps down on the couch, frustrated by the sudden loss of words when it matters the most, “I just spoke to Neto.”

“Yeah? How many women were there with the old man?”

“A dozen at least, I bet.” Amado snorts, but struggles to find real joy. “What about you? Who’s with you?”

“Guards, lots of them.” Miguel glances at the group of men carrying fancy guns, his literal defense line that he knows, deep down, ultimately serves no use. Behind them, the mountain range stretches endlessly, melting into the the clear blue sky, surrounded by soft, fluffy clouds.

“Remember those plane rides we used to take around Guadalajara?” A bird sings nearby, almost ceremonially. “You were always saying mountains looked way better than the city, from up there.”

Those little trips never took long, 30 minutes at most, as far as Miguel remembers, so they never went far enough to see the mountains, nor were they supposed to. It was a temporary distraction, an easy way for him to physically get away from everything, just for a little while, just enough to clear his mind, but not too faraway from Guadalajara that he could lose sight of it. Amado had a small plane prepared solely for this purpose. It was always completely fueled up, ready to go, so they could fly anywhere, but they never did, never wanted to.

“Yeah of course. You really liked that.” Amado liked it too, at least some parts of it. He remembers putting his right hand on Miguel’s thigh when they were 3000 feet above the ground, just to watch him freak out, or the way Miguel kissed him after that, angrily, feverishly, with more teeth than tongue, the most intoxicating punishment.

We could fly anywhere. Amado remembers himself once saying. He wasn’t sure why he said that, or how much he meant it. How much he still means it, if Miguel just asks him to. In a sense, he almost wants Miguel to ask, to order or beg him to come to the rescue, so he knows he’s been right all along, that Miguel only wants people as much as he needs them, and everything else purely exists in Amado’s delusions.

“Miguel, listen…”

“You should go see the mountains after this is all over.” He cuts Amado off and clutches his stomach, stifling a pained groan. “They really are beautiful here.”

Over. Just like what Neto said. The right question would be, what do you mean by over? But there’s no purpose in asking Miguel that, or anything else.

“Yeah, I will.” Amado stops himself, trying to hide the tiny change in his voice before he speaks again. “You take care, ok?”

“You too, Amado.”

Miguel drops the phone on the couch and quickly stands up, barely able to hold in waves of nausea. He keeps a straight face as he strides towards the end of a long corridor, where he remembers the bathroom is. But for some reason it isn’t there; there’s only a small resting area with a guard standing outside. He pushes past the guy, and quickly locks the door from inside.

Miguel hates it when this happens. His entire stomach spasms with every cough, muscles on his abdomen twitching uncontrollably. It’s like out of nowhere, his body decides to act on it own to reject a bad organ, and there’s nothing he can do about it, besides kneeling over and bearing through it.

“Sir? Are you ok?” The guard asks from outside, knocking on the door. Miguel wants to answer him but can’t, his mind almost completely blanking out as another wave of pain twists his organs.

“Hey, are you ok?” Someone gently shook his shoulder, feeling his forehead. “Miguel?”

Miguel opened his eyes to the ceiling of his hotel suite. Amado was standing in front of the couch, dressed in all black as usual, which almost makes him look like a human-shaped shadow under the dim yellow light.

“Amado…? How did you get in?”

Amado handed him a glass of water, looking just as confused. “You called me earlier, remember? They just let me in.”

Oh right, he did. He called Amado in the afternoon to talk about some issues with transportation, and then asked him to come over. But did the security just let him in without asking? Why did they do that?

“¿Estás bien?” Amado asked again, glancing at the prescription bottle on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Miguel slowly sat up and adjusted his wrinkled shirt. He looked at Amado, who was staring back at him with nothing but genuine concern—— but that was not what he came here for, and he should know that. There was only one reason for them to meet alone at the hotel in the evening, nothing more, nothing less. That was their unsaid agreement; it was the best way, the only way.Listen, you should go. I’m tired tonight.”

“What?” Amado sounded like he just got insulted. “I’m not trying to do anything.”

“I know.”

Amado looked away, clearly still wanted to say something, but ultimately decided to keep quiet for his own good, yet he also didn’t immediacy leave as he was told.

Miguel frowned and reached for the whisky glass on the table. It had been there for hours, and the ice cubes already melted long time ago, but he just needed something, anything to distract himself from this silent, stubborn hold-off, and the throbbing pain in his stomach that could come back at any second.

A strong hand grabbed the whisky glass, stopping his movement effortlessly.

“Amado.” Miguel stared up at the bigger man, ready to let him know how big of a mistake he just made, to show him he had no right to overstep on this line, no matter what he thought was going on between them.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Amado let go of the glass and put up both hands, giving him a clear victory before he even tried to fight for it, but Miguel didn’t feel like winning.

“Just thought you shouldn’t be drinking that now.” There was no threat, aggression or regret in Amado’s eyes, just frustration, and something close to…hurt.

“You should go.” Miguel repeated blandly.

“Yeah, I’m going.”

He looked down as he heard the door open, and then close, slightly louder than usual.

“Sir? Are you alright in there?”

The guards calls out again, more urgently this time, snapping Miguel back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He blinks at the thin traces of blood at the bottom of this nice porcelain sink, taking a few deep breathes to calm down his racing heartbeat, and fetches out his prescription bottle.

**

When Amado walks out to the runway construction site, Acosta gives him a long, insightful look. If that doesn’t count as concern, what he says next definitely does.

“You spoke to your uncle?”

“Yeah.” Amado tries to keeps his voice as nonchalant as possible. “Shit’s pretty fucked up, yeah?”

Acosta silently regards him for a few seconds, then proceeds to speak in his normal manner. “Benjamín just called. He’s inviting all plazas to a meeting.”

“What? So, Tijuana’s going to be in charge now or what?”

Acosta blows out a puff of smoke. “He said they could get in contact with the Colombians, ensuring our supply.”

“How? They already spoke to Cali?”

“Don’t fucking know.” Acosta shrugs, “Guess we’ll find out in the meeting.”

“Wait, you’re ok with this?”

“We’ll see what he says.” Acosta gives him another long look, then pats him on the shoulder. “Go home, Dopey. We don’t need you here today.”

“What? No it’s all good! I’m fine.”

“No one said you weren’t. Look, they all know Neto’s your uncle.” Acosta looks around at the workers, a few already peering this way at them. “I don’t need people nosing around here.”

“Oh. Yeah alright.” Amado takes off his sunglasses and wipes it with his shirt, and when he looks back up, Acosta is already walking away.

“Pablo.” He calls after him, and Acosta looks back with a chill, nonchalant expression.

Amado smiles. “Gracias.”

**

It’s nice to have a day off, but frankly, Amado doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s definitely not in the mood to hit a bar, and doesn’t want to talk to anyone either, not that he actually has someone to share these stuff with, or knows what to say, even if this person does exist. So that leaves him with drinking or sleeping, or maybe both. Both sounds nice. But either way, he needs a shower first. Amado opens the closet to get his pajamas, and as always, something in there stands out: a glimpse of white in the middle of darkness. It’s been there for a while now, and he sees it everyday, but it has never been so glaring, so insulting.

He yanks it out, a lot more roughly than necessary, and the weightless silk robe inside falls out of the box gracefully like cloud under the breeze. Amado sighs deeply. What the fuck is he doing, getting mad at a piece of cloth? He bends down to pick it up from the floor, and then, completely out of nowhere, something else falls out.

“What the…” Amado whispers to himself, grabbing the smaller, square-looking piece of silk. It must have been wrapped inside the bathrobe, and since he never actually took it out, he didn’t even know it was there.

He turns it around, revealing a series of numbers. Phone numbers. The color is a little faded, but clearly written by a black marker.

“Despite what happened, I did have a relatively pleasant evening.”

“If you ever fly to Colombia, I know a few places where people don’t shoot at you.”

“You had your chance to use it, and you just did.”

Fucking. Hell.

**

“Pablo!” Amado barges in, pushing over two very confused and curious guards.

“What the fuck are you doing back here?”

“Listen Pablo…” Amado locks the door and walks over to his desk, takes a deep breath and lowers his voice.

“What if we have our own Colombian contact?”

Pablo freezes for a brief moment, and his eyes grow wide. As far as Amado remembers, he’s never seen him like that, ever.

Then he stands up behind the desk, looking straight into Amado’s eyes, firm and demanding.

“Who?”

“A Cali Godfather.”

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