#i just put a lot of weirdly poetic effort into the first part | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1moreff-creator · 9 days ago

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DROS CH3 Part 1 First Impressions

Yeepie!!! Peak has reached CH3! And we know this is gonna start with a pretty interesting conversation, so let's jump into it, I'm excited! :D

CWs

[Chapter name: He Said She Said] Hey wanna hear something funny. I don't think I can tell anything about the murder based on this title alone, but some-fucking-how, the fact that it seems connected to rumors and (one could say) gossip could suggest that Paris may be involved. Which means that yes, officially, I've managed to find reason to think Paris could be the killer before the chapter even started xD To be fair, I more expect her to be the victim if the title really refers to her, but I still find it conceptually hilarious to continue suspecting her for even the smallest of reasons xp

"I’ve never been one to think that you have to care to “do.” But man, is it hard to find anything to do when you don’t care about anything." What is this, Aidan PoV? xD I assume no, but it's funny how much it looks like it.

"Then again, who is hurting right now? I guess Noah is sad, but there’s a new tragedy on everybody’s minds at this point. Not to call the death of his mom “old news,” but… time moves weirdly fast in this place. Even the events of this afternoon feel like ages ago.

Grains of sand in the hourglass…" Poetic! Yeah, that's how it be with killing games sometimes.

"Grace wasn’t anybody’s friend. Not anyone here, anyways. That execution may have been traumatizing, but at least it didn’t star anybody who’ll be sorely missed." YIKES.

"I think most of us were either too cool (me) or too weird (everyone else) to get along with a normie like [Robert]." Okay so we confirm we're still on Ellis PoV lmao xD

"It’s not my responsibility to put in any effort for her. If I just focus on myself, I'll be fine." I've missed you, Ellis. I know it's been two weeks but still xp

"I don’t see anyone on the way there, which is fine by me. No opportunities for anyone to pull anything weird." I really appreciate how paranoid Ellis seems to be directly following any class trial, it's a neat character trait :)

"Ellis: I’d ask “what’s up,” but I already summarized the majority of the day a few hours ago." Pfft.

"Aidan: You were trying to kill me, right?" Oh, that makes a lot of sense, actually! If Vanessa really was trying to kill just to make the motive stop, then it would make sense for her to target the one dude who really doesn't care about dying.

"Aidan: Good job.

Vanessa: Uh… huh?

Aidan: That means you listened." Wow! Dude wanted to die die! It makes sense, but hearing him saying it so nonchalantly is kinda crazy. I love Aidan dude he's awesome xD

"Vanessa: What are we, like, doing? With the gun?

Ellis: Can’t you just… give it back?

Vanessa: …Oh yeah, I can, can’t I?" Glad that that can get resolved quickly!

"Vanessa: Okay, cool! And then we just… don’t tell anyone it was me?

Aidan: I don’t see the point in it. They can see that it was returned; that should be good enough for people moving forward. There’ll be some suspicion, but it’ll probably be worse if we name a name.

Ellis: Even if the suspicion is directed towards you?

Aidan: You think I care?" That's nice! Hell yeah!

"Aidan: It’ll be fine. You two will know. Davis’ll still listen. Beyond that… I mean, that’s what, a third of the group at this point? So it’ll be okay.

Ellis: A third, famously known as the majority.

Aidan: Because we so often decide things by majority opinion." Dude Davis-Aidan shippers don't stop winning evidently. Also this whole exchange is just great.

"Aidan pulls the gun out from under his jacket– guess he had that with him the whole time–" Pfft.

"As I head down to the Buffet this morning, I can’t help but wonder: will today’s breakfast be as normal as yesterday’s?

No, it won’t. For one, Robert won’t be there." Pour one out for normality.

"Noah: Good morning, guys!

Harper: Noah…! Are you feeling better?

Noah: Uh, I’m fine, yeah! Nothing to worry about.

Harper: …" Aha. Yeah. Oh so believable (lmao). It is interesting how reluctant Noah seems to be to receive help from Harper though, neat!

"Kennedy: At least with the Trial over, we can continue thinking about our most pressing issues. Like, for instance, figuring out who has the gun." Hell yeah, Kennedy paranoia! Woo!

"Oh, here we go." Lmao.

"Ellis: The important thing is, the only shots we have left to shoot are the flirtatious kind.

“We”? Is that too suspicious?" I love how this manages to perfectly encapsulate Ellis' hilarious lines and the paranoia he always carries around xD

"Kennedy: Fine. I’ll think about it on my own, then. What’s currently most important is gathering as much information as we can.

Vivi: You’re talking about the new areas, right?

Mark: It’s pretty much always a good idea to see what new stuff the game is giving us. It’s not like we have to use the areas if we don’t want to." These three are so cool :D

"“Let’s do it,” she says, before we all split up to investigate separately. Don’t people understand that doing it is always better with two or more?" Ellis relax xD

"Since I’m right across the hall from it, I figure I should check out the Show Room. That way, if I run into Kennedy later, and they start to talk my ear off about how this totally means that the motive will take all of our assets and sink them into Belarusian real estate, I’ll at least have a clue as to what they’re on about." This genuinely made me laugh out loud where the fuck do you come up with this shit? xD

"Where there used to be graves and grass, there’s now an upscale design. The carefully chiseled pillars and luxury furniture with plush, cream pillows and gold accents remind me of the Lobby and Foyer’s designs. Notably, though, this Show Room features something the past two didn’t: sound. Faint whispers echo throughout the room, indistinct, but undeniably present." Ah, there's the chapter title coming in. Whispers... motive secrets? Those are always fun.

"Ellis: So the mastermind’s gotten into ASMR, I see." Or torture via unpleasant sounds lmao (doubt it).

"Ellis: Maybe they’re planning to threaten the lives of the Ying Yang Twins.

Taylor: Ying Yang Twins…?

Ellis: They made that song? “Hey, how you doin’ lil’ mama, let me whisper in ya ear?”" This is conceptually hilarious. The mastermind just starts killing random celebrities, and kinda just hopes someone is enough of a superfan of one of them to kill in their stead xD

"Paris: Leave the theorizing to Kennedy. I’m sure he’ll be yapping all about it, all the time. We should just enjoy ourselves!

I lean over and whisper in Paris’ ear.

Ellis: I agree.

She laughs." Ah, there's the Ellis flirting! Always lovely to see it.

"Third time’s the charm, and I am quite charming.

I’m so charming, in fact, that the door opens and reveals two more doors, one to my right and one to my left. Using the same brilliant logic, I could be someone’s Mx. Right, so I'll try that first." Ellis what the fuck are you talking about xD

"What I enter looks like a pretty standard Gym." Oh god no. Nothing good ever happens in these gyms.

"Ellis: Ah–! Ahaha, hello, you two.

Fuck. I got distracted looking at myself in the mirror.

Ellis: If you’re looking to work out, I think we’d fit together perfectly.

Aidan: Who are you even talking to…?" Since we're in a gym and she seems to be doing it to no one in particular, I guess we could say Ellis is officially flirting for sport now! :D

"Ellis: Eh, we already had the Pool, right? That’s outside and a way to exercise, depending on how you play your cards.

Davis: Yeah, but Jeff’s always there." YIKES. Jeff catching strays lol.

"Davis: Huh? Aidan! Wait, weren’t we looking around together?

Aidan stops and turns back around.

Aidan: I was just looking around. You decided to tag along. It’s not like I care either way. [...]

Davis: If you don’t care, then do you mind staying for a sec?

Aidan: Why?

Davis: …Because I like spending time with you?

Aidan: …Right. [...]

Davis: It’s not like we have to hang out if you don’t want to. But, that’s the truth of it.

Aidan: …Sure. Whatever.

Davis: Right!" Remember that thing about Davis-Aidan shippers always winning? 'Cuz holy hell :O

"Hang on… does that mean Aidan wants to?

I guess it’s possible that he’s just trying to be considerate of Davis’ feelings. But, to shoot Aidan’s own words back at him, why? If you’re the Ultimate Contrarian, you shouldn’t care about how other people feel. And, if you don’t plan on surviving…

What’s across the hallway?" Very cool and intriguing questions being raise about Aidan's character! Also I love how Ellis immediately decides they've had enough thinking and move on immediately xD

"Staff members stand at attention while Mark looks around the Spa." I mean, it fits the hotel aesthetic!

"Ellis: But I bet you don’t remember ever going to one, huh?

They blush slightly.

Mark: Can’t say I do…

They look around for a moment, then look back at me with a smile.

Mark: But maybe that just means you can tell me about it.

Ellis: If you’re looking for an expert on getting steamy, gorgeous, then you’ve come to the right place." Man, I love Ellis and Mark's dynamic. It's very cute and wholesome, and also Ellis is a monarch of flirting as usual lol.

"Monoquin: If you two are looking to use our Spa amenity, you’ve also come to the right place." Hi? Where the fuck where you in the gym???

"Monoquin: While I cannot offer any sort of massage services due to the inherent sharpness of my hands..." Oh the struggles of Monoquin...

"Mark: Can you even feel sorry…?

Monoquin: …I am unable to answer that question.

Ellis: Could you fuck off, then?

Monoquin: …I will take my leave." Lmao. Also peculiar that his response to Monoquin's question is "unable to answer" instead of "no", maybe worth keeping in mind.

"Ellis: I’d say “merchandisable mascot,” but there’s no way he’s cute enough for that." My boy Monoquin can't stop catching strays T_T What did he do to deserve this other than cause unspeakable horrors and dozens of deaths???

"Ellis: From a mystery-solving perspective, you mean? ‘Cause, from a having fun perspective, there’s plenty I’d like to take a closer look at.

They smile.

Mark: Yeah, of course. After all, I’m looking at you.

I take a step back. What the hell, I wasn’t expecting them to actually say something sweet back!

Ellis: Uh… y-you too, buddy." Now Mark/Ellis shipping food? Man this chapter's starting strong! Also Ellis is hilarious as always and Mark is smooth as hell for a person who has like two weeks of memories xD

"It must be a Theater of the non-movie variety." Ooh cool!

"Ellis: I guess it makes sense that “all the world’s a stage” reaches this place, too…

I flip my sunglasses onto my eyes.

Ellis: ‘Cause I’m certainly a player.

My glasses are still a little foggy from the Spa." Ellis is so fucking funny I'm so happy the protag's this capital S Silly.

"Ellis: If we have a second talent show, this seems like the spot.

Harper: True. It is an ideal space for showing off, talent-related or not.

Vivi: …I still think I can do it, you know.

Ellis: French kiss me?

Vivi: Heal the dead. We’re still in a killing game. It still could matter…" Still on this huh? Lovely! I'm really interested in how this one's gonna go.

"Ellis: “Matter” how, Vivi? Even if you brought the participants back to life, the staff would probably just up the counter again, and people would have to die again before someone could win. That’s just more tears to shed, and more Class Trials to beat.

Vivi: …You only think one person is going to get out of here. You don’t actually believe we can find a way out of this." Yeah you kinda just showed your hand a little there, no, Ellis? I think this is the first time he's actually expressed that he doesn't think more than one person is making it out. Very exciting development!

"Ellis: …If multiple people escaped every time, d’you think this’d be the sixth one?" Yikes, but fair.

"Harper: …I believe you, Vivi.

Vivi: You do? Which part?

Harper: …I believe you could bring someone back." Hell yeah! Join her! You love to see it.

"Harper: Even if it doesn’t turn out to be possible, it’s good that you’re working on something that could help our situation. I wish I had something similar to offer…

Vivi: Well… you can always speak up for whatever you believe. People listen to you. Use that.

Vivi smiles.

Vivi: I’m gonna go check out everywhere else, but it was nice talking to you guys!" Vivi's happy so I'm happy. And Harper seems kinda self-conscious, maybe we'll start seeing that restlessness ve expressed in earlier chapters bubble up more?

"Ellis: Which do you think will help us more? Contributing our time and resources towards doing something productive? Or letting Vivi believe that they’re onto something just so you don’t have to hurt their feelings?" Oof.

[Ellis and Harper talk] Really cool conversation! It's awesome to see Harper's optimism and faith in others in full display, especially when contrasted with Ellis' conviction about Vivi's proposals. Just really awesome all around! :D

"Ellis: Neither did I. After all, I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Harper: Then, I hope we can ease our minds and leave this in the past.

Until it’s time for the encore." Well, someone expects this to come back up huh? Also theater pun pog.

"This must be a Karaoke Bar." Fun!

"Vanessa: Want your bad romance~!" Oh this again, huh? Song choice interpretation? Well, thankfully this one's kinda easy. With lyrics like "I want your ugly, I want your disease / I want your everything as long as it's free", I'll assume this song was chosen because Vanessa still misses Antonia even despite the horrible shit she did. Don't know if we're supposed to take it as strictly romantic or translate "bad romance" to "bad friendship", but both work so :p

"Ellis: You should sing it again and talk about how you want my bad romance specifically!" Never lets one go!

"Ellis: It’s fiv… fine to do that at any time of day!

May the time zone currently experiencing five o’ clock do it in Robert’s honor. I’m not about to be the one stealing his lines in his absence, though." How respectful of Ellis!

"Vanessa: Pssh, what responsibilities? We’re basically on vacation!" Seems like karaoke really cheered her up! Awesome! :D

"Infinite karaoke is a… unique coping mechanism, to say the least." I mean, I've seen worse lmao.

"Noah: I mean, the Spa’ll be nice eventually, I guess? This is just the closest you can really get to the party scene here. It’s weirdly comforting, honestly.

Vanessa: And I haven’t gotten to be, like, actually loud in so long! This place is great!" Yay! everything's so happy and positive! What an incredibly uplifting-!

"Ellis: Yeah, there must be some really intense soundproofing in here." Oh no. Someone's getting fucking murdered here aren't they.

"Ellis: Save the sexiest song for me though, okay?

Vanessa: Haha, okay!" Back to happiness! :D Briefly!

"As I turn around, I’m momentarily spooked by Jeff and Kennedy, who have appeared in front of the last locked door on the Third Floor in my absence. Play it cool, Ortiz." Hey are we good?? This is jumpy even for Ellis' standards! xD

"Jeff: Hey, Ellis.

Kennedy: You should take a look inside.

Ellis: O…kay?" ...Ominous.

"The room inside has a bunch of shelves and beds, all lined up like some sort of barracks or something. My attention is immediately distracted away from that, though, by the large number of people in the room. They’re all in the Staff outfits, but they don’t have their masks on, and they’re lounging about casually. And they’re all looking at me.

I guess this must be the Staff Room." Uhh... what...? The fuck??? Without their masks, even. What in the-?

"Incredibly confused, I raise my hand in a half-hearted wave. Most of them wave back." Lmao.

"Kennedy: It’s probably either because the Resort wants people on hand in case things happen at night, or it’s something of a glorified breakroom. But still, the staff could presumably access it before today. Therefore, the question is, why are we allowed in…?" As usual, fantastic points being raised by the Conspiracy Theorist (/gen lol).

"Ellis: If they think I’m going to hook up with them, they’re wrong. They’re freaks, and not in the good way. Plus, can you imagine if you accidentally violated a rule in the middle? That would be horrifying.

Jeff:That’s where your mind goes??" I concur, Jeff! What the fuck?!

[Kennedy plans to investigate the Staff Room] Oh they're going in! :O

"Ellis: Agreed. Good luck sleeping tonight knowing the staff is right across the floor.

Jeff: Thanks.

Jeff immediately heads downstairs, presumably leaving the entire floor behind.

Ellis: Hey, wait–! I was gonna offer that you could stay in my room tonight–!" Lmao.

"It seems that, after two murders occurred, people have decided that now is the time to become really stubborn in their opinions. [...]

Then again, there are signs of people beginning to change, too." Ellis discovers that the story is well written so there's multiple ways that the characters are progressing! lol

"Maybe I don’t fit in either group. I can just hang out in the middle, like metaphorical bisexuality." What. xD

[Davis FTE - Start] Hell yeah! I've been looking forward to this one! Just Vanessa left after this from the alive ones, I believe?

Also preemptive rip to my color coding.

"Ellis: Of course I do! They’re beautiful. It can get a little annoying when you’re buried under hundreds of bouquets, but I can deal.

He laughs.

Davis: Yeah… Even nice things get tiring in excess." Lol.

"Davis: Which, by the way… I wanted to thank you.

Ellis: Of course. But what for?

Davis: For toning down your flirting with me. Now that I know you better, I know that you do that with everyone, but… it’s still nice, not having to deal with it all the time. So, thank you." Aww :D

"Davis: Yeah… Though, people seemed like they were in better moods this morning. Maybe that’ll keep up." Yeah, right? I guess the lack of people killing motive, and the fact that no one was that close to Robert or Grace (nowhere near Vanessa's closeness to Antonia at least), means that people feel in a pretty nice mood, huh? It's been a pretty wholesome chapter so far!

"Davis: Is there anything you were curious about?

Yeah, who was that person who fell from the ceiling?

Ellis: Uhhhh… if… If you were to have ordered something at the Pool the other day, what would you have picked?" Probably good that Ellis didn't ask that lol. That said what kinda backup question is this lmao.

"Ellis: Actually, that is something I was curious about. If you don’t mind me asking… What do you have against Jeff?" Asking the important questions here! Hell yeah.

Actually, it's interesting. This freeform style of FTEs has the funny side effect that the people who get picked later can be easier to get interesting info out of, since it's easier to know what questions to ask to get Lore and Character Exploration. DROS' format continues to fascinate me as you can see :p

"Davis: I guess it’s just… the fact that he’s so willing to leave people behind. Being openly selfish. I guess it’s unfair of me, because it’s better that they’re willing to admit it, rather than having it be something you only figure out after they’re gone. But, it just… bothers me.

Ellis: …" YIKES. Get indirectly called the fuck out, Ellis! Also genuinely how the fuck does the protagonist manage to foil so well with so many characters when they were created without knowledge of the cast and vice versa. Genuinely impresses me every time :D

"It’s nice to have a definitive answer about why Davis and Jeff haven’t been getting along. I mean, I could pick up most of what Davis’ rationale was based on his vibes alone. But, as they say, assuming makes an ass of u and me." My feelings exactly!

"My ass is already great, so I don’t need another one." Also lmao.

"Interestingly, I wind up sitting by Vanessa, Aidan, and Kennedy. Oh god, Kennedy’s gonna be inquiring about the gun, isn’t she?

Kennedy: I want all of your theories on the upcoming motive." I mean, yeah. Kennedy has no reason to believe anyone other than Aidan was involved lol.

"Ellis: You haven’t already heard my Ying Yang Twins theory?

Kennedy: …Tell me about it.

Ellis: Monoquin will threaten the lives of music act “The Ying Yang Twins.” Forced to confront the possibility of living in a world where they whisper in lil’ mamas’ ears no more, we will fall to despair, and have no choice but to kill.

Aidan snorts." I love everything about this exchange xD From Kennedy's willingness to hear out a theory as ridiculous sounding as that, to the way Ellis explained it, to Aidan snorting, it's peak I fear.

"Vanessa: Um… well, it seems like it’s about, like, hearing things, right? Maybe it’s something about the outside world? The Tragedy or something?" Fair assumption.

"Kennedy: Well, there’s always whoever or whatever started the Tragedy. Why start the Tragedy if you don’t enjoy suffering?

Vanessa: You think that the people running our killing game are responsible for the Tragedy?!" We've reached the phase of theorizing where we think the mastermind might be Junko Enoshima, I see! xD

"Aidan: Why are you going on and on about something you don’t know anything about? You’re about three stages of assumption deep at this point. Any conclusion you come up with will probably be wrong.

Kennedy: I was right about the motive last time!

Aidan: Just because you’re right about one thing one time doesn’t make you right all the time." Aidan and Kennedy are fighting, so I'm thriving :D

"Kennedy: But the Show Room changed. That means there’s going to be one, because the Show Room relates to the motives.

Aidan: Okay, so why tomorrow? It took us about a week to get the first motive. We just had a murder. Why rush it?

Kennedy: It’s entertainment. Now that the ball’s gotten rolling, they don’t want to slow it down. Whoever’s being entertained would get bored.

Aidan: And you know that… how, exactly? It’s not like–

Vanessa: I, uh… actually kinda agree with Kennedy here. It makes more sense if they keep the pressure up.

Ellis: At the end of the day, it’s a game to them, right? I dunno if we’re directly being broadcasted on television or whatever, but this killing game is basically a fucked up reality TV show. Maybe the premiere episode is a little special, but they don’t like to change the rules too much midseason. It’s not like they say, “surprise! Your next tribal council is actually in six days!” on Survivor." Wow, rare moment of everyone agreeing with Kennedy and not Aidan :O I'd actually be more on Aidan's side btw, because last motive had a little warning in the Movie Theater a few days before it happened, and that's not been mentioned so far. But Vanessa and Ellis raise good points, plus with additional knowledge of how these killing games usually go, I'd imagine those two and Kennedy are closer to the truth than Aidan at this point xp

"Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn! What did I say this afternoon? We’re but two weeks into this killing game, and everybody has decided to cement their opinions like they’re building a goddamn sidewalk. For all the shit I’ve given Kennedy, at least he’s relatively flexible within the conspiracy zone. If your talent is saying no to things, shouldn’t you be more willing to say no to your own preconceptions?!" Wow, Ellis is getting frustrated, awesome! :D

"As I flop down on my bed, I realize the real problem with all this: I barely had any fun today. I talked to literally everyone. We explored some new places, and didn’t face off against any motives. So then, why did I spend most of the day frowning and being serious? Why was I cast as the voice of reason? It’s so unfair!" Not liking all the responsibility you're feeling as a somewhat functioning adult, huh Ellis?

"If none of them are willing to have fun, maybe I’ll have to force them..." This feels a little like projection, which is very interesting to see. In reality, most people were in a relatively lively mood. There's exceptions, of course, but Vivi's happy to have a new supporter, Davis got to spend time with Aidan (jury's out on how much Aidan enjoys that, but there's a good chance it's a fair amount), Paris is unflappable as ever, Mark was shockingly playful in the Spa, and perhaps most notably, Noah and Vanessa managed to cheer up in the Karaoke room. But I think as Ellis slowly grows more attached to these people, she starts to feel more bothered by their issues, in the sense that things which she used to brush off more easily (eg Aidan and Kennedy's squabbling, Davis and Jeff's beef, Vivi's stubbornness, Noah and Vanessa's losses) are starting to really affect her mood.

This means that even though the others are maybe having more fun than before now that the CH2 motive is over and there's new stuff to explore, Ellis feels like they're having less fun because he's starting to care more about the things that were already bothering them. Of course, Ellis doesn't have the introspective power to figure all that out, so they default to believing that it's the others who are the problem, and don't consider the true cause might lie within themselves.

Am I cooking? Am I going insane? The everlasting question of this blog, for certain. Anyways, I hope I made sense at least xD

Woohoo! A pretty lighthearted chapter all things considered! Well, aside from Aidan reiterating that he's 100% okay with dying and Ellis having Issues, but you know. Definitely needed that, I loved it as always! Looking forward to the next one! See ya'!

#dros #danganronpa: one shot #ellis ortiz #aidan ho #davis love #vanessa bravo #mark dros #vivi mitchell #harper young

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parksprout · 4 months ago

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Sprout Journal 11/19/24

Heya! Yesterday was a pretty okay day! Truth be told, not a ton happened? It was a relatively mundane day with not a bunch to talk about from it. I went to work as usual, the only thing different about it was that I wasn't allowed to use the parking spot I usually do because of construction :T the zoo has been under construction since I was a kid and tbh I don't really understand how that's even possible!!! They've been working on stuff for the entire time I've been there, but simultaneous to the constant work is a lack of anything actually progressing. They were supposed to finish this bear exhibit they started working on in 2021 a full year ago, but it won't be ready to open until next year. How in the heck is that even possible. Also :( I miss seeing bears. We don't have any now </3 I miss them. Anyways! Work was pretty easy yesterday. The zoo was basically dead. I spent a long time working on my journal from yesterday, which I'm weirdly proud of? The reality is that getting my thoughts out in this format has been highly therapeutic for me. Additionally, it's been the bulk of my daily writing ever since the start of the fall semester. I'm thinking that maybe daily journaling can slowly help me reinvigorate my interest in writing - especially when I use more poetic language, insert images, and take my time with them. Today I'm not really taking my time with this entry though, yesterday was an almost nothing day.

Yesterday after work I crammed down some leftover pasta because I didn't eat anything alllllll day, then got dressed and head to the gym! I didn't work nearly as hard yesterday as I had the day before, kinda ending things after my run. I did set another personal best and hope I'll continue to do so!

As I was finishing my workouts my friend Sammy called me! We talked while I walked home, but tbh after an hour or so I was wayyyy too exhausted to keep going so I ended up leaving my night pretty much at that ToT I was NOT very productive at home and I felt very boring alskjdfasdf

As always, below the image is me yappin about love n' stuff

Days like yesterday with them are what I want while we continue to figure out what we're gonna be in the future. We talked a lot, didn't have any awkward moments and.. I continued with my effort to treat them better. There was a moment where I had to check myself. I sent them some messages before they woke up in the morning and they said they'd check them out eventually, and they never got around to it! A part of me wanted to be like "heya! remember to look at the stuff I sent :3" or at least ask about it... but that's one of the ways that I think I failed as a partner in the first place is harassing them to respond to every single little thing I ever said to them. So I just took a beat, reminded myself that it's okay if they don't have something to say about every little message i've ever said. I know for a fact that I used to annoy them by asking them to respond all of the time, so... growing in that way as a person is really important to me as I continue to become someone who could be the best partner possible for them. But I'm enjoying this casual part of our relationship. I think that.. if I ask them out someday and they say yes, I want our days to look much more like this than like they did before. I wanna continue to be a relaxed, light hearted, patient person who they talk to because they want to not because they know if they don't I'll be sad

I continued to get more stuff done getting ready for their present, too :) I'm very excited to send it to them ugh. I hope that they think it's as special getting something from me as I think it is giving them something. I'm writing them a letter and .. it's probably the most effort I've ever put into something like this ever. I hope it's not all too much for them but .. I wanna give them a taste of the partner I never really got to be, I wanna show them that .. even when I was at my best with them it was only a part of who I could be as their other half.

I love them bunches. I really miss their face today. I think I'll ask them for selfies if they're okay with it, and if not then that's okay too I think. I gotta be okay with them not wanting to do stuff.

Anywayz I'm gonna add a little final thought after this fog :)

They asked me a while ago if I'd be okay if they moved on,

I told them no

I wouldn't be okay ! Because I love them a lot, and I wanna give us another go. I would be more hurt if they moved on without us trying one more time. I think a lot about what they said afterwards. They'd be scared to try again because... They don't want to hurt me again. I wish they wouldn't be so protective of me! They said they'd only try if they were incredibly serious about it but... Sometimes, I think it's better to take risks. I'm okay risking getting hurt again for a chance to be a better partner. I feel like .. we've both learned enough during this breakup, that we wouldn't let ourselves get to that point again without genuinely talking about what's going wrong first. I think about their statement a lot. I want you to risk hurting me, honestly, because there's no relationship that's not a risk of pain. If they take a risk, I wanna take it with them.

That's all Tumblr! Thank you for reading this y'all. I love ya!! Byeeee

#sproutposting #sproutjournals #journaling??#journaling.#personal journal

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courtneytincher · 6 years ago

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To Take Down Trump, Take to the Streets

Photo Illustration by Elizabeth Brockway/The Daily BeastPARIS—From Algeria to Hong Kong, Sudan to Puerto Rico, people all over the world have been turning out in the streets this year to confront policies and regimes that previously seemed all but invulnerable. And through relentless, largely peaceful protests they’ve had amazing success.There is a lesson here. Americans disgusted by Donald J. Trump, disheartened by his control over the Senate and Supreme Court, demoralized by the consistent support he enjoys from two-fifths of the population, and appalled by his incitement of gun-toting racists, might want to take note. The examples of mass demonstrations that have taken on, and in some cases taken down, terrible leaders show there are formulas that can be applied in many places, including the mainland of the United States of America. There’s even an illustrative equation.In a study published this month by the scientific journal Nature, Erica Chenoweth and Margherita Belgioioso look at what they call “the physics of dissent” drawing on the simple law that momentum equals mass times velocity (p=mv). “When movements maintain mass and velocity, they maintain momentum,” the authors tell us, and momentum is what’s required to achieve results. They cite the example of Sudan. There, Omar al-Bashir had been in power for 30 years—and had lasted for a decade even after allegations of genocide in the Darfur region led to his indictment by the International Criminal Court for mass killing, rape and pillage. Nothing seemed able to bring him down. But as Chenoweth and Belgioioso point out in a blog post, Sudan’s opposition “used a combination of protests, marches, general strikes, and other forms of non-cooperation” to oust Bashir in April.In Algeria, a nation with a proud history of rebellions, gruesome experience with terrorism, and a fearsome record of repression, demonstrations followed a pattern similar to Sudan’s. Hundreds of thousands of people poured into the streets for peaceful protests—the Smile Revolution, it’s been called—and they ended the 20-year rule of the decrepit 82-year-old President Abdelaziz Bouteflika.In the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico, in a matter of weeks after leaked text messages exposed Gov. Ricardo Rosselló’s vengeful approach to partisan politics, as well as his sexist and homophobic slurs, mounting protests led to threatened impeachment and finally his resignation.In Russia, where activists opposed to President Vladimir Putin are routinely jailed and often murdered, cops beat protesters with grim savagery. Now they are threatening to separate arrested protesters from their children, and to jail opposition leaders for years on specious charges of corruption. Yet the protests keep growing, and Putin’s grip on power begins to be the subject of speculation.And in Hong Kong, the public rebellion against Beijing with mass protests week after week poses a growing threat to the authority there of Chinese President Xi Jinping, whose representative has been humiliated and forced to withdraw a controversial extradition law. To push back against the tyranny of the Chinese Communist Party, as many as two million people—a quarter of Hong Kong’s population—went onto the streets in a single march.Again, there’s a formula. Not only are Hongkongers showing an instinctive understanding of “the physics of dissent,” they’ve added a bit of Kung Fu philosophy from the late martial arts icon Bruce Lee. When facing authority, “be water,” flowing where the power is weak or absent. The most active protesters tell each other, rather poetically, “Be strong as ice, be fluid like water, gather like dew, scatter like mist.”Why have we not seen this kind of concerted, continuous combination of mass and velocity in the United States?Maybe the American opposition to the Trump regime really isn’t as impassioned as many rants on Twitter might suggest. Or maybe those are just onanistic ends in themselves. There’s been a lot of obvious passivity: waiting for Robert Mueller to take care of everything, or pretending that the symbolic act of impeachment will squeeze the sleaze out of office.Certainly, by comparison with the demonstrators in other parts of the world there’s a hint of sloth and even of cowardice. When I broached some of these ideas on Twitter (where else?) one tweep complained impotently that “we” couldn’t even get Twitter to take down the president’s account, as if that would solve anything. More than one suggested fear of Trump supporters with guns acts as a deterrent.And another said things really aren’t so bad under Trump, and most people don’t see any reason to remove him, which suggests why his whining opposition doesn’t take to the streets in massive numbers.But of course that’s not quite right. There have been huge demonstrations since Trump’s election—some of the biggest in American history. Although, weirdly, the National Park Service is not allowed to count, the Women’s Marches of 2017 and 2018 and the March for our Lives after the Parkland school shooting all reportedly drew well over a million people. But, to go back to the physics of dissent, the momentum that changes things requires not only mass, but velocity. That’s what’s been missing. The protests have to be big, and they have to keep coming again and again–preferably weekly, even daily. Such demonstrations have changed the course of American history before, notably when the anti-Vietnam War protests of 1967 and ‘68 pushed President Lyndon Johnson to give up his bid for reelection.And since then we might also have learned some important lessons about mass demonstrations that go astray, because that happens, too. Back in the 1960s, the same movement that persuaded LBJ to stand down wound up ushering Richard Nixon into the White House. As White House insider Doris Kearns Goodwin wrote in Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream, “Beneath their wild flurry of activity … the young dissenters lacked the sustained involvement of a radical cadre. Their dissent was coopted as the revolutionary leaders willingly sat on evening talk shows, and as participants in marches left early to look for themselves on the 6 p.m. news.”The Occupy Wall Street movement in 2011 lost its focus and its impact amid constant internal disputes, and what is fatal in the American consciousness, a dearth of novelty.Here in France we have seen the way a popular movement that started out with a reasonable cause, the gilets jaunes, or yellow vests, was quickly hijacked and eventually discredited by anarchists and vandals. Paris Riots Strike Home: Yellow Vests, Vandals — and Jihadists —Thrive on Such ChaosThe Arab Spring of 2011 saw the popular victories of the unorganized masses exploited by the organized Muslim Brotherhood, then taken away entirely by the cynical military. In Sudan and Algeria the struggle to keep that from happening continues, while in Hong Kong the threat of intervention by China’s army is poised above the protests like the sword of Damocles, and in Russia, Putin wants everyone to know that as bad as he’s done, he can do much worse. Nobody said nonviolent revolution is easy, and nobody should believe that the fall of a single person resolves the problems in a society that may have put him or her in power in the first place.But as things stand right now, if the economy’s sugar high continues through November of next year, Trump probably will be re-elected. No Democratic candidate has found an effective way to deal with the most fundamental truism of presidential politics: “It’s the economy, stupid!”Trump’s assaults on the fundamentals of American democracy—including language that inspires white nationalist terrorism and defends possession of assault rifles—will appear “vindicated” in the electoral college even if, once again, the will of the American majority is thwarted. And if that happens we will be more than halfway to the end of what we used to think of as truth, justice, and the American way. Any effort to remove Trump from office after reelection will be infinitely more difficult and dangerous. Tweets won’t avert that outcome. Nor by itself will the flaccid exercise of impeachment proceedings in the House.But p=mv, the E=mc2 of protest, might just do the trick.Read more at The Daily Beast.Get our top stories in your inbox every day. Sign up now!Daily Beast Membership: Beast Inside goes deeper on the stories that matter to you. 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