#i just need to let it out

[iyliss]

Actually thinking about Saiou and Mizuchi childhood stuff and what it means in the scope of gx generally being about growing up and transition to adulthood and all that and MOSTLY the contrast with Edo.

So on one end you have a kid who have learned adults couldn't be relied upon, but still holds onto strong bonds with the ones he trusts (living or dead). And on the other two kids who grew up seeing adults as actively dangerous to them. They have such contrasting relationships with adulthood.

Edo would have a pretty poor idea of adults. He has this weird balance of false maturity and independance, and childishness he holds onto (because "his clock stopped moving" and all that, because no longer being a child means no longer being his father's child). But then there's the even WEIRDER expression of Saiou's fake maturity. Everything about how Saiou looks strange to everyone who meets him, it also has to do with how professional he sounds. of course he doesn't feel like he is in the same range as the rest of the main cast, he perpetually acts like he's in a business meeting.

Edo refuse to ask for help, Saiou and Mizuchi don't even think they can do that. Edo wants to appear distant to others, especially people his age, but his emotions and struggles spills out of him the moment he faces Judai. Saiou constantly creates this distance well, he even makes his duels not about himself.

Edo both wants and hates "adulthood", and Saiou uses it as a form of security. And in Saiou's case it's kind of part of his general weirdness, how he never really seem to belong anywhere. He neither really feels like a child, nor a teenager, nor an adult, and never did and that part. Like I have feelings on it but it gets even less sensical.

[deeveedoodle]

I swear

I can still feel her haunting me

[originalgenshinscenarios]

I have a question

Why does the Genshin fandom always have to make ship wars? It's always "x ship is better than y and here is why" and never just "I love x ship :)"

Like fuck going on Gui//li tag ANYWHERE keeps making me see shit like "omG Gui//PinG and ZhoNg//ChI LoSInG hArD herE" or the opposite cuz people tag like idiots so instead of seeing heartbreaking edits headcannons and fanart I just see discourse after discourse.

And ofc I don't mean JUST that war. Because it happens ALL the time. People just go on and ON trying to invalidate ships for NO reason!! Like most of popular ships are kinda meh to me, BUT I JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM. I'm just sitting in my little bubble waiting for people to share stuff with and keep ship hate to my dms not to public!

If you gotta do ship wars at LEAST don't tag ships you're bashing ffs you're just being obnoxious and I hate you if you do that regardless of your taste.

And tbh, I don't enjoy a lot of ships I normally would thanks to people like that! Which makes me sad because I like doing ship content!

[aquielzadiel]

Me: Remember dude you almost fainted because you denied taking care of yourself as punishment.

Also Me: Yeah, yeah, I'll still live. I wasn't really planning to kill myself today.

Me: *facepalm* OMG STOP.

[honey-rambles-alot]

My old diary blog was banned so I have alot I had ready to post, sorry if I'm clogging your feed up already<3

[gongyussy]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[hymnoeides]

'Cause I'm stuck with your stories

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

[egophiliac]

was this anyone else's first thought, or

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

[zorangezest]

thanks for listening

[valtsv]

"why do you talk so much" i like to share things with people andd a wizard cursed me to use at least three words wherever one would suffice so just fucking deal with it alright

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

None of our hands are clean

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[halorvic]

December 19-21, 2024

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots