#i just need them to pay off the 'bowser is looking for mario's weakness and luigi ultimately IS the weakness' thing. I NEED IT

[mk-empress]

Battle Against The Dual-Bladed Duelist

The Boss Fight

The invasion was a success. The folded soldiers had captured Bowser and his minion army. And Bowser’s cowardly mage had even crashed the entire castle. Sure, the minions got away and are now enslaved to do maintenance on Shangri-Spa by the toads, but at least I had Bowser as a living trophy in his own throne room. I was alone in the throne with the chained, oversized koopa. 

“Hey! Release me this instant! Don’t you know who I am?! I am Lord Bowser, and I will not stand for-“

“Oh, cut it out already. Can’t you see you belong to me now? You’re already lucky to be in one piece.” I told him. I walked down the red carpet on the floor to Bowser’s throne. I decided to try it out, see how it felt. His throne was surprisingly quite comfortable.

“Hey! Get off my throne! You’re not allowed to sit there!” Bowser barked.

“Silence! You are not the one in charge here anymore. You are my prisoner. I am above you. Now, be good and seal your lips closed, or I’ll cut out your tongue.” I threatened. Bowser gulped and froze in place. Good. 

I glanced up and saw the green streamer penetrating the ceiling, creating a large hole. Seeing this reminded me of the other streamers. I had already watched the red streamer, the blue streamer, and the yellow disappear. I felt bitter about it. I was worried about the purple streamer. I decided to step outside to see if the purple streamer was still there. I know I’m not supposed to leave my post, but I needed to know. 

When I got outside, I flew under the clouds of Shangri-Spa. I could see the Sea Tower below. Wait-... where’s the purple streamer-? No... I zoomed down to the roof of the Sea Tower, no one was there. Why? Where was Tape? I-I couldn’t be the last one! I can’t be alone! I frantically soared faster than I’ve ever flown before toward Overlook Tower. I stopped above the top. I only saw a couple of toads looking at the hole left by the spool in the pole, nothing else. I shifted my gazed and soared to Shogun Studios. I got a bird’s-eye view of the park. I saw several toads working at the entrance. Some of them were carrying bags of Rubber Band’s broken bands. I glanced into another direction and arrived at The Shroom Temple. I entered through the upper entrance. When I got down to the dance floor, my heart shattered when I saw Hole Punch’s broken, pale, lifeless body. My eyes watered, and I just shook my head. I rushed back out and flew back to the Sea Tower. I landed on the roof and spun circles around looking for Tape. I noticed blood on the ground, and it was fresh. I was panicking. I stared over the edge of the tower into the sea, then I saw blood in the water. Tape had to be down there! Maybe I could save him. I jumped off the tower and dived toward the surface of the ocean. I held my breath as I plunged into water. I scanned my surroundings looking for Tape, then I saw him. I swam deeper down to him, and grabbed his hand. I held on to him tightly in my arms and shot up out of the water back to the roof of the sea tower. I gently laid Tape down. I tried to wake him up.

“Tape! Wake up! Come on!” I shouted, but he didn’t stir. I shook him harder. “Please! I can’t be the last one! Get up! GET UP!” He still didn’t move. 

I looked at his body and I started to cry. His wrists were bleeding profusely, and his arms were red. I put my hand on his chest, and I felt his ribs were broken. I pressed my fingers on his neck, there was no pulse. I froze in place. It felt like my heart was just ripped out of my chest. Tape was dead, like the others. I cradled him in my arms and held his head to my chest. I was devastated. His body still felt warm. It came to me that he died recently. I looked up at the clouds above me. Tears streamed down my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I thought I could save SOMEONE! I just wanted someone to be with me. I stayed there, with Tape’s body, still holding him close to me. I remembered all the times we had, the good, the bad, and the insane. We fought at times, we sparred at times, we laughed, we raced, we enjoyed each other’s company, and now... I continued to mourn. Deep within me, I felt an inhumanly rage boiling within me.

I blasted up back into Bowser’s castle. I swung open the doors into the throne room. I wanted to shred Mario and Olivia into a thousand pieces. I wanted them to sink into the deepest rivers of The Underwhere! They had to pay for this! I needed revenge! It was all I craved!

“Aww! What’s wrong? Did something hurt your feelings?” Bowser taunted. I was not in the mood to deal with his mockery! I drew one of my sword blades and grasped his throat, choking him, and pointing the tip of the blade at his eye.

“Listen to me. I am NOT going to listen to you whine, beg, or mock me! If you speak one more time, I will murder everyone you love or remotely care about! Then you will know how I feel!” I screamed. I released Bowser, turning my back to him. I was still so enraged, and I didn’t realize that my eyes were glowing. I craved revenge! I had to have it! I would annihilate EVERYTHING in my way! I would destroy Mario! HE’S THE ONE WHO MUST PAY! 

I felt like I had the rage of many people at once. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, and my back was aching. I thought I felt something seeping out of me. I looked behind and saw dark, wispy shadows. What was this? What was happening to me? Suddenly, I felt like something just bursted out of my back, then I felt it again, and again. I started to notice shadowy creatures appearing around me. I saw the black silhouettes of little boys and girls holding hands, I saw large, black, adult silhouettes- both men and women- towering around me, and then, I saw a massive creature that wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before. It had a hand for a head, and the body of a snake. I decided to call it the “Handaconda”. I felt the pain in my back go away, and I felt a bit more in control of myself. The shadows surrounded me, and they looked like they were waiting for something. Oddly enough, I didn’t feel threatened by them, as if they were MY minions. I looked behind me at Bowser and he looked terrified. I just smirked at him. I turned back at the shadows.

“Do you serve me?” I asked. All the shadows nodded the best they could. “I want you all to spread throughout and guard the corridors and rooms of this castle. If you see any of the folded soldiers, do not attack. If you see a small man with a mustache, and a little girl floating beside him, bring them to me for termination. If any of the toads or any of Bowser’s minions enter, get them out any way you like. NO ONE is to enter this room at any cost! Understood?” I commanded them. All the shadows agreed and left the throne room.

I still felt an unnatural rage within me, but I felt a little calmer after creating those shadows. Suddenly, I heard someone from outside the castle. It was faint, but I did hear it.

“DAAAD!” I heard a child scream.

“SON?!” Bowser called. 

I glared at Bowser, then he looked at me. I looked up at the hole in the ceiling, then back at him. That boy was coming for his father, and I can’t risk the green streamer being destroyed, now can I? I grinned as I drew my blades and zoomed out through the hole above me. I saw the kid that looked similar to Bowser, and zoomed at him. I latched my blades together into an actually pair of scissors. At the last second, the kid saw me just before I sliced him and his clown car into six, bloody pieces. Some blood had sprayed on me. I watched as the remains of the boy fell to the ground.

“NOOOOO!” I heard the blue mage scream. I cackled as I returned back to the castle.

I landed back on the red carpet in Bowser’s throne. I sheathed my bloodied swords. Bowser stared at me with a worried expression.

“What did you do?!” Bowser barked. He could see the blood on me.

“I simply delayed Mario from entering this castle.” I answered.

“What did you do to MY SON?!” Bowser roared.

“I KILLED HIM! But don’t worry, we’re in Shangi-Spa! The Spring of Purification should revive him.” I explained.

“YOU’RE INSANE, YOU MONSTER!” Bowser screamed at me. Insane? INSANE?! 

“Insane?!” I laughed. “With what I’m going through, I think I have the right to go a little insane!” I snapped. My eyes began to water. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I knew I lost my mind, but Mario took so much away from me. He stole my siblings’ lives! He SLAUGHTERED all of them like they were pests! I SAW WHAT WAS LEFT OF THEM! If I’m not allowed to be a tiny bit crazy... 

I waited for what felt like an eternity, pacing back and forth, pondering all the things I could do to Mario. I was clutching my skull, my tears were dripping onto the floor, and my rage was destroying me from the inside out. Bowser was good as he stayed quiet the whole time. All of a sudden, I heard the bullhorns outside squeal, then someone spoke.

“Ahem. Attention, fellow minions of Lord Bowser! The folded soldiers guarding the entrance to Bowser’s Castle are no more! Now is the time for us to rise up! Make for the castle and stand with Mario! Together, we shall free Lord Bowser and restore honor to our names! FOR BOWSERRRRRR!” That was the voice of that blue mage. I heard cheers outside.

“HA! Yes, my minions! You hear that?! Soon, my minions well storm and retake this castle. And when I’m free, I’ll stomp you into bits!” Bowser threatened. I simply laughed.

“Oh, I wouldn’t get so excited if I were you. Your weak little army will be rushing to their DEMISE! They won’t even make it to that door.” I replied. My own minion shadows would destroy them first. Then, Mario will be next!

I could hear all the commotion outside. I was wondering who was winning. Not too much time pasted when I heard Bowser’s minions outside trying to break down the door leading into the throne room. It seemed the folded soldiers had failed.

“It would seem I underestimated your minions, Bowser. But, no matter. I will swiftly dispose of them myself.” I drew my blades and flew up out of the castle. I soared around the structure and entered again through the front door. I had a straight shot to the koopa army.

“INCOMING!” One of the minions shouted. 

I gripped my blades tightly, and I began my rampage. The minions tried so desperately to land a scratch on me, but alas, my blades minced them first! I laughed maniacally as I wiped Bowser’s army from existence! I thoroughly enjoyed killing them one by pitiful one. In mere minutes, all who were left were the blue mage, and Bowser’s son. They both stared at me in horror. The mage held the kid and turned their gazes away. I thrusted my blade through the kid’s spiked shell, and out the mage’s back. Blood poured from them, and they both became limp. I yanked my sword out, and let the blood drip from the tip. I looked behind me and saw the result of my massacre. The blood of the minions flooded the floor, and the chucks left behind littered across the carpet. It felt great to vent on an ENTIRE raid. I unlocked the door and walked into Bowser’s throne room, then closed it behind me. I was soaked in blood, and I LOVED IT! Bowser stared at me, horrified and speechless.

“I told you not to get so excited. EVERYONE is dead, and now you know how I feel, losing everyone.” I said quietly to him. Bowser sank and started to cry. GOOD! He’s going through what I’M going through. And now all that was left to do was KILL MARIO for what he did to MY family! 

Suddenly, I heard more calamity outside the doors. I could hear Olivia... and hissing? I assumed it was Handaconda fighting Mario and Olivia. Finally, Mario had arrived to my doorstep. A wave of uncertainty suddenly hit me- if not even my siblings could stop Mario, why would Handaconda be any different? No, surely it could do something to the plumber. Handaconda was forged within me by my rage. Wait, was it JUST Handaconda fighting Mario? Where were the other shadows I created? I heard loud slams and hisses. I wasn’t sure who was winning behind that door. I flew up and hid in the rafters above, watching that door closely. I heard one last hiss before silence fell. Who just won? I heard a thud against the door, and I heard Olivia talking! No! Everything I created, everything I loved- why does Mario always win?! 

Mario and Olivia swung open the doors into the throne room. After a long struggle of saving Bowser’s son and facing so many shadows, they could finally see the end of the green streamer.

“There it is! The end of the green streamer! We did it! It’s the end of the road! The last of the streamers!” Olivia exclaimed. My anger and hatred burned hotter for every second I looked at those two.

“Hey! I’m here too!” Bowser shouted.

Mario and Olivia approached the steps leading up to Bowser’s throne. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I lunged down from above.

“Look out!” Bowser screamed. I flew down and slammed my blades down above Mario, but he jumped back half a second before I could kill him. “I get credit for that!” Bowser said. I slowly floated down to their level.

“Hmph. Well dodged. Of course, I expect nothing less. It would have been terribly boring to end things so quickly, yes?” I was losing my composure rapidly in front of them. “You may have been successful in killing the others and destroying their streamers, but- by doing that- you’ve only doomed yourselves further. You’ve made me angry, Mario. Now, I will cut off your head! En garde!” Mario pulled out his hammer, and I gripped my blades tightly. And so began the duel. 

“Let’s get this straight: I WILL annihilate you...but I don’t see why we can’t have some fun first. After all, where’s the challenge in slicing you to strips immediately? Therefore, I shall grant you... a slight advantage.” I sheathed my blades in front of them. I wanted to cut them to shreds, but I wanted to have a little bit of pleasure softening them up. “See? My blades have been sheathed. We’re on equal footing. However! Should you damage this cover during our battle...I shall interpret such boldness as a direct challenge...and I won’t hold anything back!” I warned. 

As much as it hurt, I had to hold so much of my fury back. With my swords sheathed, I had to go with fist-fighting, which- I will admit- I wasn’t as skilled with as two of my fallen brothers were. I flew up then dived down toward Mario, but he dodged, and I ended up slamming my fist into the floor. I dashed toward Mario before he could ready a swing. I flipped up and kicked Mario in his chin, sending him flying up. I flew up to him, grabbed him by the neck, then threw him into the floor. I dived after him. Mario scrambled up as fast he could, and swung at my side, but I dodged. Mario hurled his hammer at me, but I caught it. I threw his hammer back at him with powerful force. Mario dodged, but his hammer was destroyed on impact. Mario pulled out a shiny tail and a POW block. He absorbed the tail and floated toward me. I attempted to kick him across the face, but Mario dodged and countered with a tail-swipe to MY face! Mario floated up a little higher, then ground-pounded onto of me, crashing me to the ground. He threw the POW block into the floor, and the shockwave threw me back up. I felt dizzy, as the vibrations rang in my skull. Mario’s tail wore off, then he absorbed an ice flower. He threw four ice balls at me, but I was too dizzy to dodge, and they all hit me, freezing parts of my flesh. The ice flower wore off, and the frost on my skin melted. I laughed.

“All right! Enough. It was fun while it lasted...but your feeble attacks have grown tiresome. Let’s CUT to the climax! Ha haaa!” I exclaimed. I grabbed my swords and slowly unsheathed them. I glared into Mario eyes. Finally, it was time to DESTROY Mario, and take REVENGE for my family! “Guarding is useless! This is the end for you, you despicable fiends! FAREWELL!” 

I flew back and latched my blades together. Mario’s doom is now. This was the FINAL CUT! For The Missile Maestro! For The Elastic Entertainer! For The Disco Devil! For The Shifty Sticker! For The Fanged Fastener! FOR KING OLLY! And for myself...This is IT!

I zoomed at Mario. I closed my blades together, but MARIO JUMPED OVER IT?! I turned around and saw Mario land. My rage consumed me. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. A powerful green aura erupted from my body. My eyes glowed and flamed so brightly. Even my blades had their own auras. My hatred became too strong, I had lost full control. I rushed at Mario with uncontrollable speed. I repeatedly tried to slice him with my blades. I heard both Mario and Olivia panicking. Mario could barely keep up with dodging my attacks. I even heard Bowser freaking out. 

Eventually, Mario fell too far behind. I swung both my blades, and they cut straight through him, slicing him in half and removing his head. I watched Mario’s body fall apart. I straightened up, then froze. I was still furious. I did it, why couldn’t I calm down? I heard Olivia weeping to the side, then I locked my gazed on her. She stared at me with fearful, watered eyes. She was involved with the deaths of my siblings. I had to kill her too. I dashed at her and swung my blades, but she too dodged, then ran and hid behind Bowser’s throne. I rushed at her and sliced the throne in two, scaring Olivia senseless. 

Before I finished her, I heard a certain sound behind me. I turned around and saw a 1-up mushroom absorb into Mario. Next thing I knew, Mario was standing up with no wounds. My rage was still erupting out of me. I charged at him and slashed my blades. Mario dodged and whipped out another POW block, then threw it into me. The shockwave shook my bones, but my rage let me push through it. When I looked at Mario, Olivia had just transformed into the Ice Vellumental. She blew a massive ice beam at me and froze my legs in ice. I couldn’t moved them, I couldn’t fly, I couldn’t escape! Olivia smashed her hands down, and the ice shattered, mangling my legs. I collapse onto me knees. I couldn’t walk. I was bleeding. It suddenly hit me that this most likely is my end. Olivia transformed back to herself than stood behind Mario. Then, Mario gained the 1000-fold arms. My anger was extinguished immediately, and fear took over. My eyes widened as Mario grabbed me and slammed me into a wall. He pressed me against the wall with one arm, and took hold of one of my blades with the other. I knew I was done for. Mario drove that blade straight into my stomach. All my breath was taken away. Mario released me and pulled the blade out, and I collapsed to the floor. I felt so weak. All my rage, my energy, my strength, gone. 

I looked up and watched Mario smash the spool of the green streamer. My eyes flooded with tears. I failed! I FAILED! How could I have failed?! I used all my will, all my fury, everything, but I still failed. I failed to protect the streamer, I failed the avenge my siblings. I failed...

“Great job as usual, Mario! That was the last streamer. We’ve done it!” Olivia shouted. 

My heart just sank. I was so lost in agonizing thoughts. I zoned out. I don’t remember what they said, or what happened, but when I snapped back and looked up, I saw Mario, Olivia, and Bowser leaving. I was able lift myself up a little bit and took a breath.

“You think yourself a HERO, Mario?!” I screamed. Everyone paused and turned around toward me. “You took EVERYTHING from me! My brothers, my sister, my creations! Do you even understand what you did to me?! WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!” My body was growing weaker. I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. Life was draining out of my body. I heard Olivia reply. 

“You guys all threatened the toads’ lives! You all did terrible things to them!” Olivia replied.

“AND you butchered my army AND my son! Even I couldn’t do something so cruel.” Bowser jumped in. 

“You...ruined...us... First, you kill my siblings, then you kill me, and now your going to kill my creator? I loved them! And you are tearing apart our lives! We have feelings just like you, you know? How can you live with yourselves?” I questioned. We had our own lives. We were created for one purpose, but we still treated one another as family. Even King Olly cared about us. The toads neglected Olly, and then these guys come to break us ALL down. Why? 

My thoughts slowly became nothing. My vision was fading. I felt so bitter, but none of it mattered anymore. I never heard an answer from the others. I felt a wave of peace come over me. When I die, I would see my siblings again, and- when the time came- I would see Stapler and Olly again too. We would be united again, and I would feel happy once more. I felt calm.

I’m so sorry, but I’m coming.

[mysterioh]

The Ignorant Beauty and The Beast of New York - Chapter 1

PAIRING: MOB!STEVE ROGERS X READER

SYNOPSIS: Y/N is an exhausted bio major. Steve is danger with a capital DANGER. She thinks he’s a sarcastic prick with an impressive knowledge in art history. He thinks she’s cute even if she’s only running on one brain cell. All he wants is a single date, but she’s adamant upon denying.

Masterlist 

Art Hoe™️

There’s nothing in the world that can beat Saturday morning. A time to sleep in and be lazy with ease in your heart that you don’t have to do anything for the rest of the day.

Bucky leaned back in the office chair (one that wasn’t his) and kicked up his feet onto a neatly organized desk (not his either). His steel-blue eyes were fixated on the screen of his phone with his brows knitted in concentration. Saturday mornings were Mario Kart mornings and Bucky was never one to be less than first place.

Sam walked into the office with his eyes glued to the papers in his hand. He looks up to find someone he’s not supposed to find.

“Bucky, what the hell are you doing?” He asked, annoyed. Bucky’s presence was enough to annoy Sam.

“Shush, I’m in the middle of something,“ he hushed him. Sam rolled his eyes with a groan.

"Where’s the boss?”

“Didn’t I just tell you shut it, Wilson?” Bucky said again, dropping back into third place.

“Are you playing that stupid kids game again?”

“It’s rated E for everyone, punk,” he growled at him. He smiles a little when his Princess Daisy bombs Bowser.

Sam crosses his arms. “You’re not supposed to be in here,” he reminded.

“Alright, mom, what do you want?” Bucky said, his eyes finally pried away from the game.

“First get your dirty shoes off the desk and second, where is Steve?” He asked. “I’ve got some info on the delivery tonight.”

Bucky clicks his tongue but listens to him. “Tell me, Sam, what is today?”

Sam was puzzled. “It’s Saturday,” he replies.

“It’s Saturday morning,” he corrected.

“Okay, and?” he asked, growing peeved.

“Saturday mornings are when Steve goes to meet his muse.”

”The Love Letter by Jean Honore Fragonard" you read off the pamphlet. You look up at the painting with a lopsided frown.

This was what you came all the way from Brooklyn to see? A picture of a lady with a bouquet in her hand and a small smile on her lips. At least the dog was cute but not enough for wasting a perfectly good Saturday morning on.

You didn’t understand where the appeal came from. For this painting or any other for that matter. Yeah, they were pretty but that’s it. You didn’t feel the overwhelming emotion that some felt when they looked at a masterpiece. Never have you ever been moved to tears because of painted canvas. But then again, nothing ever moved you to tears.

You groaned at the picture. “Stupid art professor,” you grumbled with your arms crossed.

You were visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art for an art history project. Your eccentric professor had given an assignment in which you had to find three pieces of artwork and write how you felt about it. She gave a list of the ones to check out first and you decided to just follow it.

You weren’t an art buff or even remotely interested in the subject. It was just a gen ed class you needed to check off and you were hating every minute of it. An hour on the subway just to look at something you could’ve googled in a second. At least you got in for free.

You huffed at the girl. “What’s so great about you anyway?”

“What’s not great about her?” a voice chimed in from your side.

You turn to find a man standing next to you, admiring the masterpiece and overhearing your conversation with the painted lady. He was drop-dead gorgeous. Looking like a blue-eyed, blond-haired Adonis that walked out of one of those thirsty cologne ads. His face was beautiful. Well-defined with a sharp jaw and angular cheekbones. The ocean blue of his eyes matching the light complexion of his skin.

He was the kind of guy that made you stop dead in your tracks. He must’ve gotten used to it by now. The natural sudden pause one made as he walked by or the way women must’ve bitten their lower lips at him in desire. He seemed like the type of guy who knew he was good-looking but didn’t pay it any mind. The type of man who would remain modest and humble.

He was dressed casually in a tan Hilfiger wool sweater, a pair of black trousers, and casual sneakers. Oooo rich guy, you thought as you raised a brow at his question to you.

“Pardon?” you asked.

He turns to you with a charming, crooked smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but hear you talking about Marie like that.”

“Marie?” you asked slowly.

“Yeah, that’s her name well according to some scholars,” Steve replied turning fully towards you. “Marie Emilie Boucher. She was the daughter of Fragonard’s teacher.”

“I see,” you nodded slowly, not really knowing what to say. Great, you just crossed paths with an art geek.

“So why don’t you like it?” he asked. His inquisitive eyes bore into your soul, searching for an answer.

You turned to the painting and shrugged. “It’s just another painting of a lady. One that’s not naked, thankfully. I just don’t see the appeal. It’s just an average painting.”

“An average painting?” he asked, completely shocked by your answer. You take a step away from him just in case he got hostile. “How could you say that?” he exclaimed. “There’s so much depth! So much mystery! So many amazing techniques hidden in it!”

“Chill, dude,” you tried to calm him down with your hands in front of you.

His shoulders dropped in disappointment. “I guess some people just have weak eyes.”

“My eyes are perfectly fine,” you retorted, offended by the strange man’s reaction. Warning: hot guy is a jerk. But aren’t they all?

“Then how can’t you see it?” he asked, pointing at Marie. “I mean the brush strokes, the usage of lighting and the coloring. It’s glorious. Absolutely magnificent.”

“Okay, so he painted her dress blue instead of pink, big woop.”

“It’s more than just that,” he shakes his head. “It’s the realism in it. Don’t you feel the mystery around her?”

“Sure,” you replied, not wanting him to freak out again. He chuckles at your blase attitude but goes on to speak. He’d never miss a chance to talk art.

“Look at her face,” he asks and you do as he says. “The small smile on her lips and the sneaky look in her eye showing off that she knows something we don’t. She has something we don’t have. A love letter from her admirer. A fiance? A husband? A secret affair? We don’t know and all we can infer is from the way she teases us with the name on the letter. Her expression is unmistakably coy and it only brings about the question. What could have been written in that letter? Words of deep adoration? Maybe one of a longing desire? Her behavior displays a bit of misconduct considering its time period.”

“You seem like a very nosy person,” you noted earning a chuckle from him.

“I just enjoy art,” he stated.

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” you said, scribbling down some of the stuff he said. It’s not plagiarism if you’re paraphrasing.

“Are you copying down what I said?” he asked, looking over your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you admitted shamelessly, “you don’t mind right?” Who cared if he minded you were going to use it anyway.

“Nah, it’s fine, but it’ll cost you,” he said with a mischievous smirk. You turned to him with a raised brow. “How about you share a cup of coffee with me, beautiful?”

You groaned inwardly. Of course, the hot guy had to make a move. It was hard for them not to. It was in their blood. “Sorry,” you said, sticking your book back into your bag and taking out your pamphlet. “I’m here to work not lounge around. So I’ll see ya.” You turned on your heel and waved him goodbye.

He followed right behind with a smile on his face. “Come on, princess, that ain’t fair,” his Brooklyn accent showing just a little. “Take my words and then give me the boot.”

“You were the one yapping away,” you retorted, your strides getting wider to get away from him. It didn’t take many steps for him to reach you. “You gotta be careful with your words or anything for that matter. How do you think Rosalind Franklin felt when she got robbed by Watson and Crick?”

“I don’t know who that is,” Steve said, sidestepping you, “but you’re from Brooklyn, aren’t you? I can tell from the way you talk.”

You stop in your path when he stands in front of you. “You know the name of the chick in that painting, but you don’t know who Rosalind Franklin is? The founder of the DNA structure?”

“Well, that’s good for her,” Steve replied, not paying much mind to it to ask his own question. “You from Brooklyn?”

You pout with a deep exhale from the nose. “That’s none of your business,” you said pushing past him with your shoulder hitting his arm.

He follows you anyway, it’d take more than a shoulder bump to get the mob boss off your trail. But he guessed you didn’t know who he really was.

“Listen, jerkface,” you hiss at him when you catch him still following you. “I’ll call security if you don’t stop following me.”

“Sweetheart,” he chuckles with the corners of his eyes crinkling, the shine in his eyes unbearably alluring. “It’s gonna take more than simple security to get me away from you.”

TAGLIST:  @rootcrop​ @scuzmunkie​ 

[lilycove-department-store]

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle: Review

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle is far from what I would call an “enticing” game. While I have fond memories of the rabbids from playing Rayman Raving Rabbids on the Wii circa 2006, the idea of mashing Nintendo’s most beloved plumber together with the undeniably upsetting Minion-esque rabbit-folk seemed a bit garish. The end product, however, was far more nuanced than a genre-ripoff cash grab.

Kingdom Battle presents itself as a re-imagination of the turn-based tactical shooter popularized by games like XCOM with familiar characters but makes enough changes to make it something new and genuinely enjoyable. Simple base mechanics build on each other throughout the course of the game, developing into a surprisingly complex experience, and one that carries Nintendo’s characteristic polish to its logical end.

When I first heard about this game I was quick to dismiss it. Early gameplay looked fairly simple and the idea of throwing rabbids in with Mario & Co. felt like a capitalization on the rising popularity of Minion-types. Besides, I had payed few strategy games in recent years and generally disliked them, save for a few excellent exceptions (looking at you, Into the Breach). I ultimately purchased Kingdom Battle in a moment of weakness when it went on sale; I was in dire need of a long-form game and something to keep me occupied on an airplane. So I purchased it and dove in headfirst.

The plot of the game is fairly ludicrous and tangential to the gameplay, as is historically the expectation for Mario games. The rabbids, a seemingly unstoppable force of chaos, break into the real world (our world) and steal an experimental technology that fuses objects together. They are then launched into the world of Mario, where the guardians of the Mushroom Kingdom must leverage their powers, alongside those of their newfound rabbid friends, to stop Bowser Jr. from abusing the fusion technology. This fusion manifests in the form of classic Mario enemies fused with rabbids and fantastical landscapes of household items blended with World 1-1 environments.

The bulk of the game involves a turn-based combat wherein the player controls four characters, each with distinct and customizable weapons and abilities, in clusters of encounters against AI. I never played the multiplayer mode, but in completing the single-player campaign, I must say that the gameplay was satisfying and effective. What seemed simple at first (moving characters from one tile to another one, using cover, firing at unaware enemies) quickly became more complex as Kingdom Battle throws new mechanics at the player with startling ferocity. Just as I became comfortable with my Luigi’s sniper rifle, I was introduced to Yoshi and his machine gun, each of which require completely different strategies to use.

The campaign, which took substantially longer than I expected to complete, spans several colorful worlds with a variety of challenges to complete and collectibles to unlock. One of the most fun parts of this game was the my control over the many different facets of the game. While the game spikes in difficulty near the middle/end of the story, I always felt like I could redistribute my upgrade points and swap out party members to better adapt to any given enemy. It was rewarding to craft a strategy and watch it play out in real time against Kingdom Battle’s rather adept AI. Even the simplest levels required complex decision-making, and I actually ended up enjoying it quite a lot.

The game, while fundamentally simple, takes a lot of work to learn and ultimately feels rewarding to play, rather than frustrating. There’s more than one way to complete a given level, as long as the player has enough awareness to keep in mind all of the consequences of a move. There are few things more satisfying than spending several turns setting up a masterful alpha-strike, cleaving through enemies, bouncing rabbids off the map, and finishing off bosses with precision. I did get frustrated at times when a small mistake meant losing a level that I’d invested 20+ minutes in, but a quick break was all it took to get me back in. What’s more, this game is enjoyable to watch; my roommates sometimes hovered around the tv and gave (semi) helpful suggestions.

For a game that seems like something of a ripoff of more focused genres, Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle is a fun new take that sports all of Nintendo’s classic accessibility. Though the $60 price tag is a little much in my opinion, there really is a lot to dig your teeth into, and if you’re worried about Kingdom Battle being too easy or boring, don’t be. It’s startlingly difficult at some points, though never in a way that feels unfair. Kingdom Battle wasn’t my favorite game of the year, but it was far from the worst, and I can see myself coming back to replay it when I feel the urge to tactically shoot.

TL;DR: a deceptively complex turn-based game, accessible, polished, long playtime, a bit difficult, but very rewarding. Buy it? Yes, but try to grab it on sale.