#i just like exploring the map and got a bunch of dlc to do!!

[gobald]

Quick redraw of "How to lose a guy in 10 days" because I think this is how's gonna be like when Mika meets Benny for the first time...

[ixcaliber]

Top 15 Games of the Year 2022

(A crosspost from twitter since i don’t trust twitter to long term exist any more. I wrote a little bit more about a couple of the games since I didn’t have to worry about character limit.)

This year I played over 200 games so I’m making this a top 15 because I’m terrible at narrowing things down.

15. Disco Elysium

The best game I played this year that I didn't really like very much. It's really good. It's excellent. I hated playing as this awful cop man. I looked for any excuse to end a session and had to force myself to come back. Fucking excellent game otherwise.

14. Return To Monkey Island

I feel like I'd have liked RTMI more if it wasn't focused so hard on revealing 'The Secret'. The whole narrative of the game is built on top of ‘what is the answer to this mystery’ and I don’t know that there’s ever going to be a completely satisfying answer to a mystery that’s been left hanging for 30 years. For what it’s worth I did like the answer that I was given, but ultimately it’s not what I play Monkey Island for.

In a monkey island game i’m playing to solve ridiculous puzzles, listen to some funny dialogue, probably engage in an insult contest of some description, decipher a map that isn’t a map, create some kind of magical item once early in the game and then improvise a copy later in the game and just generally hang out with a bunch of characters that I like. And despite the focus being something I didn’t strongly care about this game delivers all the things I wanted, more or less.

13. Shadows Over Loathing

This year I played both Shadows Over Loathing and West of Loathing. They are both really funny games with surprisingly more depth as RPGs than you would expect given their overall comedic leaning.

West of Loathing was already a great game, Shadows elevates everything that was good about it and is even longer and denser with puzzles to solve, sidequests to complete and enemies to fight. Both of these games consistently subverting my expectations by allowing some of the wildest solutions to their ridiculous problems and by going even further with bits and running jokes than I would have anticipated.

I’m almost definitely going to be playing Shadows again at some point in the new year just because this time through I opted for a full corruption run and so probably missed a whole bunch of content.

(Special mention to the West of Loathing Reckonin’ At Gun Manor DLC for an immaculately constructed running joke that becomes the culmination of the entire DLC in one of the funniest moments of the year for me)

12. One Just Night

(I’ve written more about this previously here (#30 on the list))

I played a lot of visual novels this year and this is one of the best that I played. It's about a world where you are named for your foreseen fate, and trying to find your place when you feel like you have none. And it's gay. 

11. The Light At The End Of The Ocean

(I’ve wrote about this game previously here (#4 on the list))

Probably the most crying at a video game I did this year.

10. The Forgotten City

An expertly constructed time loop detective exploration game. Beautiful and eerie and so satisfying to slowly peel open and unravel the mysteries.

9. The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe

More than just a new coat of paint to the original game, SPUD is the entirety of the original game plus essentially a sequel built on top of it. Its topics are more broad than the original but its still a fun and constantly surprising ride.

8. Ladykiller In A Bind

A very well written lesbian visual novel about bondage and submission. Rated so high simply because this is the piece of media that got me to stop fantasizing and actually seek out what I want in real life.

7. Alba - A Wildlife Adventure

(I’ve written about this game previously here (#4 on the list))

Extremely wholesome game where you explore an island, take photographs of the local wildlife and do your best to help them.

6. Deltarune Chapter 2

There's nothing new I can say about deltarune. It's funny, it has great characters, I'm low-key extremely worried about what the fuck is the deal with Kris. It's great. It's Deltarune. Now with Spamton.

5. Signalis

(I’ve written more about this game previously here (#1 on the list))

What if you were playing an oldschool Resident Evil game and it was also Silent Hill 2 and also you were a lesbian robot. It's really good. It's so dense with ideas and symbology and I love it a lot.

4. Neon White

(I’ve written more about this previously here (#9 on the list))

Incredible aesthetic. Incredible gameplay. Apparently I'm the only person on the entire fucking planet who enjoys the narrative. I make no apologies for this. This found family of cringe idiots are wonderful and nobody else who played this game deserves them.

3. Psychonauts 2

(I’ve written more about this game previously here (#9 on the list))

I can be kind of wary of long awaited sequels to beloved games and it stopped me from playing it for a while, but this was just everything I wanted. A pleasure to play and explore and a narrative that is both a raising of the stakes and a more personal story.

2. Elden Ring

My snappy one line review for Elden Ring is that I got gay married in the ruins of a church underneath a dead god. 10/10

But if I was to actually talk about it a little more. Honestly I wasn’t really expecting anything from Elden Ring. I know a lot of people were hype but I’d been put off by Sekiro and had bounced off of Demons’ Souls. I thought the game was going to be too hard and too inaccessible for me, or that the Soulsborne format just wouldn’t work in an open world game. I tried it as an obligatory kind of thing and oops it turns out it’s fucking great actually.

The open world areas are great and feel oddly dense with things to see, places to go, enemies to fight and then on top of that the legacy dungeons. Huge chunks of superdense traditional Dark Souls level design, with secrets upon secrets upon secrets. An incredible experience.

1. Tunic

It would be easy to assume that this is my Game of the Year just because you can play as a cute little foxie. I mean, I will admit that when I first was playing it I did legitimately tear up because of how happy I was to play as the cute little foxie.

What makes it Game of the Year for me though is how this game contains so many puzzles, completely invisible until you learn how to see them. Like, if you ever played the Witness after a while you start to see the shape of the lines everywhere, in the clouds in the shadows, in the shapes of buildings. Tunic is like that. Once it clicks it’s everywhere and it’s only at that moment that you realize how immaculate the construction of this game.

Plus you do get to play as a cute little foxie and that’s also very good.

[shrimpbytes]

Okay yeah. I admittedly got my hopes up too high during the first half of the dlc, but I still think it's one of the better ones the game has had...tack on several asterisks here

Spoilers for Skyline Valley

So they added lightning ghouls, which just play like normal ghouls except they explode sometimes and mumble weird garbage

That said, I am personally fine with asset reuse, I think the experience is more important than knowing devs are slaving away somewhere

And I do think this ghoul reskin/crazy people faction are better than the scorched and blood eagles respectively

The new area is also all just flipped assets, so nowhere feels special, except the region itself which has a gnarly storm hanging overhead. The point of the main quest is to get rid of the storm which...why? I guess just because it's related to the lightning ghouls.

Obviously it was doomed to fail because the lightning ghouls are in the world map, not just interiors, and if they took away the storm the new region would look like any random city in Appalachia.

The main plot was much more compelling and Fallout-y than the last dlc, which was basically a vaguely mafioso themed sitcom. But in terms of actual gameplay, there's alot less classic Fallout. The only decision in the entire dlc is at the very end and basically you just decide whether or not to -and I'm barely exaggerating here- kill a Nazi Zombie. The outcome changes who is sitting at the front desk when you return to Vault 63. There wasn't any segment where there were a bunch of interactions based on exploration/stat checks. The last dlc had a very stand out version of that where you performed in a circus that I thought was pretty cool

The worst part is they clearly setup some choices that never pay off. You can infiltrate a cult. While doing this you can learn that they're all pretty justified in wanting to kill -and I can not stress this enough- ***a nearly literal nazi zombie***. They're very humanized, they have some silly quirks, you can commiserate with them... but you have to kill them all at the end anyway. This game forces you to kill a Communist Zombie Lesbian for the benefit of a borderline Nazi Zombie

Also if you die because this game has terrible fall damage detection, your cultist disguise breaks and can't be recovered. I actually server hopped a couple times and managed to pick it up again, but reentering the interior deleted it.

It's not like I didn't have tons of other mothman outfits anyways, but none of those worked.

After the german speaking mad scientist ghoul who intentionally subjects innocent people to horrific experiences/super weapons forces you to -and again, not joking- RETAKE THE RHINELAND(station) it turns out he was evil the whole time. *gasp* and you beat him up. Fun fact, if you knock him out and then get zapped by a random bolt of lightning, he heals to full and you have to redo the(very easy) fight

All in all, it's pretty good by 76 standards but don't expect anything other than linear kill 'em ups.

Oh and despite being a 6 year old arpg in active development, dialogue doesn't work consistently, combat doesn't work consistently, and the fucking floor doesn't work consistently

They also made seasons even worse than last seasons which was the worst ons yet. Of course, I'd argue thet like 12/17 were also the "worst ones yet" of their own release

[dausy]

Gonna pull out my old doodles from 10s of years ago because I dont have anything else.

I finished Zelda Tears of the Kingdom. That has taken me literal months to finish and over 200 hours. I don't know if its my age showing but I was kind of over it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good open world, clear the map game. I think this game was just so huge, I was over it. The other thing to is, though it turns out that I don't remember BOTW that well, it felt kind of obvious that I had already explored Hyrule once and unlocked a bunch of shrines in the last game. Adding the upside down and sky to another Hyrule made it feel a bit like a chore. It was fun at first because I like clearing a map but then I got tired. I'm not a fan of building things so I barely touched that part of the game at all and I didn't enjoy the parts where it forced me to do so. I also learned by the final battle that I just sucked at fighting as well. Primarily I just ran around. I avoided fights and climbed and explored. Horses were pretty useless. I probably would have defeated the final battle in the climbing gear had I not at the last minute decided to upgrade my one champions shirt because I'm a hoarder and had all the upgrades for it and didn't realize.

Otherwise I appreciate that the difficulty wasn't crazy hard or scary. Growing up I found a lot of Zelda boss battles to be frightening but the risk in this one just wasn't there. I mean I beat the final battle with all but 4 of my hearts gloomed over because I'm stupid. I'm not really complaining about this because I just don't want difficulty anymore. I want story and relaxation.

The hardest part about the game, in my opinion, was it had a steep learning curve at the beginning, like controls wise. I, for the life of me could not figure out ultrahand for a long time. Trying to figure out how rotation worked, took me a dizzyingly long time. I also, for a long time could not figure out how to throw items. I kept accidentally throwing my weapons but I couldn't figure out how to throw bombs without attaching it to a weapon. How old am I that I can't figure out basic controller commands? I kept thinking about my Gramma (RIP) who loved zelda games, she would not be able to play this game if I was struggling.

That being said I will still always play zelda games. I had fonder memories from previous zelda games though.

I'm a bit behind on games because my husband did take the PS5 with him overseas. But I binge watched Jedi Survivor the other weekend like a movie because I can't play it, but now I wish I had waited til next year when my husband comes back. Even watching it as a movie, it gave me all the feels. Like all of them. Its been my favorite game of the year and I didn't even play it (/sad).

I know everybody else is playing Baldurs Gate 3. I'm feeling FOMO. Technically I have a gaming PC and technically my old laptop still works (thats kinda iffy tho). But my dog does not like me being on the desktop computer. I can't commit to another 200 hour game sitting at a desktop with this dog. Somebody out there will say "its a dumb dog get over it" but not with the way she complains. I'd be better off waiting for the ps5 again.

Next I'm still playing Disney Dreamlight Valley, just to check the shop for new items and I'll get the DLC /expansion when it comes out.

But I also downloaded Xenoblade 2. I was debating whether I wanted to skip it and play Xenoblade 3 immediately but nah. I also want to play Octopath Traveler 2 but I just played OT1 before Zelda so I'm alternating titles.

[xenosaurus]

okay!! so, this guide is aimed at people just starting out and haven't paid for the creatures 3 add-on (which is $6 if you want it, but totally optional especially when you're still learning the game). it's also light on the mods, to make things less overwhelming-- if you want to do a deeper dive later, this page is a good place to start).

This guide also only talks about norns, which are the main creatures people raise. There are also Ettins (weird little guys who love to steal electronics) and Grendels (mean little guys who will fight with your norns), but most creatures stuff is about the norns!

SETTING UP THE GAME

First, grab the free "Breed Packs" DLC off steam, this gives you more types of creatures to care for

Install the game and find the source folder in your computer files. For me, this is " C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Creatures Docking Station\Docking Station "

From here, you'll want to unzip your mods from the recommended list. Mod files with the type ".agents" go in "My Agents"-- this should cover everything in this quick startup guide!

Once all the mods have been placed in the My Agents folder, you're good to open up the game!

ESSENTIAL MODS

A Modded Genome for Creatures: there are a number of modern modded genomes that make creatures smarter, more reactive, and more interesting to care for. For beginners who don't want to mess around with other game files too much, I recommend the Creatures Full of Edits (CFE) genome, found HERE. Download one of the egg packs and unzip the files into your My Agents folder.

Extra Maps: Docking Station, being free, has a pretty small space, with only one room appropriate for raising your creatures in. Luckily, the community has made tons of free rooms for you to use! Some favorites for beginners are: --the Banshee Arc, a series of 4 connecting rooms with unique ecosystems, toys, and food (found on github here) --C12DS, a remake of an older game in the series in docking station's engine, if you want to feel more like you're raising them planetside instead of on the ship, lots of functionality (found on a creatures archive here) --the Norngarden, a classic room with a bunch of fun animals running around (found on the creator's website here)

Fixes: this is an old game, so there are some hiccups the modding community has worked out. for very basic docking station use, I recommend the following: --modified HLM: stops creatures from spamming the machine that teaches them language (found here) --critter and bug smells: lets creatures that want to eat bugs find them by smell! not useful for all breeds but good to have (found here) --toy smell: similar, but for creatures looking for toys (found here) --bramboo fix: keeps creatures from staring helplessly at fruit that's not yet ripe for ages (found here) --snap out of it: a fix for an issue in brain coding (found here)

Useful Tools: these are a little less needed, but I definitely don't play without them lol --Amulet of Teaching: teaches your norns their full vocab list without needing to take them back to the learning machine (found here) --Advanced Muco: makes it easier to scroll the breed list when making a new creature egg (found here) --Protective Tub: an auto-namer for creatures that uses goofy names by combining from a list of adjectives and nouns (found here)

STARTING THE GAME

Before you create your first creature, you have to inject which mods you want in this world! You can pick and choose based on what works for your current project. The starting ship only has four rooms, so explore until you find something that looks like this:

From here, select each mod you want and click the green check mark to inject it into the world. You can also find extra toys and other tools that were packaged with the game on this list!

Once you've got all your mods set up, you're ready to create your first norn! If you use Advanced Muco, the egg-laying screen can be expanded by clicking the circle shown below.

Make sure to select a breed with CFE in front of the name if you're using the genome I recommended above.

That should get you started! My stupid frog adventure is actually in a way more broken mod than the ones I listed above, so not for beginners, but if you want to create frog hell, it's over HERE.

so. i left creatures 3 on overnight. and i think there might be a small inbalance in the ecosystem.

[numberonetribble]

I got Control on Thursday, beat it on Friday and wow! What a daringly fun and innovative game? It's story is vague but holds together really well. It's like "Welcome to Nightvale" but everybody is in on it.

Here are some thoughts:

Love the assist features, normally scary/shooter games stress me out that I brute force my way through it. But you can turn on aim assist, instant one-shot kills, immortality and adjust the refill meter speed. Once you pick up all the abilities the game is just so much fun to run and explore in.

The Oldest House does this reality shift at the start of the game in a really clever way, which implies that it'll do it for the whole game and since everybody talks about it. But bc a constantly shifting map would be frustrating, the designed each area in a way that, you don't get lost persay, but it tricks your brain into thinking the area shifted. So many, "Hey wait wasn't that, wait no. Where was the, oh right here!" moments. (Or I can't read the maps very well)

There are a couple of things that aren't fully explained, or they're in a collectable file you have to pick up and read. Obviously since I finished the game in under 24 hours I might have missed something. But there are things that straight up aren't explained between characters, things happen, everybody is upset and I'm sitting there like, "Why are we crying?"

Watch the credits. Do not skip. Do not exit game to look at trophies.

The DLC is interesting, but again bc so much of the lore is in reading format, I missed a bunch. We get Jesse's every thought, if she thought something when she picked up something interesting it'd be helpful. The Foundation DLC ending didn't sit well with me, and I thought the second DLC would address it but instead it was:

"Why is Alan Wake in my video game?" I've never played Alan Wake, never will, and this DLC had a lot of fun bits to it but narratively it was just a big long ad for Alan Wake 2. That's fine but I was genuinely disappointed.

I love Control, I love being in the map and exploring everything and double backing to check everything again, I love the NPCs despite they barely being there. I love the gun, this is the first time I tried it different weapon types in a game and ran through mostly with one I wouldn't use in other games. The puzzles are easy but interesting. The only time I had to look something up on my phone it's because the button prompt was too small to see, or I did the actions right but the game didn't recognize it. I didn't want to leave the game I wish more games were like it. I think I would play the RE games if they had assist mode like Control.

Where did Darling go? Will he reappear in Control 2? The Hiss hasn't been dealt with entirely yet. Will there be more levels in Control 2? I feel like the game got cut in half. Even with the dlcs, it's only narratively half way done.

[worm-man-gaming]

My top 10 list for who I WANT as DLC in Smash

We’re reaching the end of an era. Smash Ultimate’s DLC is going to end eventually, with four more characters to be announced. They could release some kind of ‘Echo Pack’ in the future, which I would be hyped about (They didn’t really do much with the echo fighter mechanic), But I have a feeling that after this, there won’t be any more. So I wanted to post my list of who I, specifically, would like to see in the game.

This is not based off of likelihood, as some of these characters probably don’t even have a chance of making it in. I just think they would be neat.

Full list under the cut, counting up from #10

- Papyrus (UNDERTALE)

Okay, so hear me out.

We got the Sans mii skin, and that was by far one of the most popular mii skins since Geno, probably. People were more excited for the Sans mii skin than Terry Bogard and maybe even Banjo. They probably made a lot more money than expected from it. So why not try it again? 

And while Sans is the popular character, he definitely is not a fighter. He’s a lazy, laid back character that just wants to have fun, but he’s far too weak to go into an all-out battle without risking his own safety. 

HOWEVER!

Sans’s brother, Papyrus, is the polar opposite. He’s dedicated, hardworking, and can take quite a few hits. He’s got plenty of moveset opportunity. And it would be another indie rep, which is really really good for someone like me, who wants to go into game design. 

Another thing: When we got the Cuphead mii skin, we also got Cuphead Spirits. They could have easily done that with Undertale, there’s enough characters. So maybe they’re saving it for a DLC Spirit board? I don’t know, just a theory.

He would be primarily a ground-based fighter, with projectiles that could crawl across the stage like that one sparky item. He could also use his blue attack, which could be good for an easy spike on airborne characters. And, who knows, maybe for his final smash we could finally see his special attack.

I really enjoy Undertale, and seeing Sans as a mii skin made me super happy. Getting a whole fighter from the series would be even cooler. 

- Paper Mario (Super Paper Mario)

Nintendo, we’ve got three whole Links in this game, but only two Marios? Preposterous!

With that being said, Super Paper Mario was one of my favorite Wii games (Although I didn’t play it until very recently) And it’s a very popular series. He’s essentially his own character separate from Mario at this point. The games have so much lore put into them, and we already have a Paper Mario Stage in the game, so maybe we could get Dimentio’s dimension, or the Origami Palace or something.

He’s been in enough games and done enough crazy things to earn a pretty diverse kit for himself. He could use Pixils, the 1000-Fold arms, or even summon Paper Bowser, Peach and Luigi for some attacks. 

I think he would be super fun to play. I’m terrible at vanilla Mario, but I think Paper Mario would be a good fit for the game AND be a super good-feeling character. However, this comes from a G&W main, so take from that what you will.

- King Boo (Luigi’s Mansion)

I 👏 want 👏 more 👏 villains 👏 in 👏 Smash! 👏 

King Boo is a staple of the Luigi’s Mansion series as well as being an enemy for Mario in some games like Sunshine. He’s the Big Bad Evil Guy for Luigi. 

And I DEFINITELY want him in this game. 

It’s not so much the character himself, although King Boo is really good, I want him in for his kit. Think about it. A large character but with floaty jumps like Jigglypuff and an aerial based moveset AND a teleport? He’d be ruthless. And really fun. And that’s what I’m looking for in a character.

- BOTW Zelda (Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity)

Yes, I know. “But Worm, the Zelda we have now is annoying and awful, and you say you want ANOTHER one?!?!?” Well, you’re half right.

Yes, Zelda is known for her darkness-sealing powers in BOTW, BUT, in the recent Age of Calamity game, her moveset for almost have the game revolves around the Sheikah Slate. She uses it creatively, hopping around on ice and whirling metal slabs around with a magnet. And I think that would be a SUPER cool moveset for Smash Bros. 

And who knows, maybe they would call back to older games and allow her to switch to using her powers, like Zelda used to change into Sheik. 

She would be very technical, with her attacks being powerful but with some startup, almost similar to Snake of all characters. And for her final smash she could use a Weak Point Smash or they could bring back Bow of Light (Which was MUCH more fair than the current one, by the way). She’d be fun, and that’s what I want.

- Maxwell (Scribblenauts)

Maxwell is from Scribblenauts, a game where you have to solve puzzles by writing words in a notebook and those words coming to life. So he’s work in the same way in Smash, although much more randomized. 

For his neutral special, maybe he could write a random item and it shows up in his hand. That would be funny AND cool, and it’s possible (because Peach does the same thing with Turnips!). He could use projectiles but also have plenty of close range options, and for a Final Smash he could use the Meteor, which in the game clears the screen of living things. Brutal! He also uses Adjectives on both his creations AND himself, so maybe for some moves he could effect the other opponent with a poison or freeze effect.

Would he be banned in competitive play? Yes. Would he still be fun? Definitely!

- Jibanyan (Yo-Kai Watch)

I may be in the minority here, but I REALLY liked Yo-Kai Watch as a game. It may seem like a cheap Pokemon ripoff, but the gameplay is nothing like it at all. You’re given a map to explore and various objectives within the map, and the battle system is really creative and fun. It’s actually the inspiration for some of my own games. Yo-Kai watch deserved more credit than it got.

Jibanyan is the poster boy for the series (and also has the saddest backstory of any cat-based character ever), and mainly attacks with both his paws and fire attacks. He could have fire-based moves and would almost play similar to Pichu. His final smash could be Paws of Fury, his soultimate move, that would hit like Donkey Kong’s final smash as a flurry of blows. 

This series is really well made and thought out, and it deserves more than it got. So please put my boy in Smash, I’m begging you.

- Specter Knight (Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment)

Okay, yes. I know Shovel Knight is the main character of this series. But again, hear me out.

Specter Knight is either the first or second boss you encounter in the main Shovel Knight game, and he’s already got some moveset potential from that alone. However, he also had his own story mode, Specter of Torment, ad let me say, that is a phenomenal game. I’d go so far as to say it’s better than the main Shovel Knight game itself. His controls are quick and easy to pick up. And he has a whole bunch of special abilities you can get as the game progresses, such as a boomerang or even a shadow clone. 

His smash moveset would pull most of the specials from the unlockable items he can get, leaving room for an incredible spacing game as well as a good aerial defense, as Specter Knight can both float and do a Dash Slash through enemies for some extra air time. 

Shovel Knight is the main character, but Specter Knight obviously has the most soul put into him (Pun not intended). And, again, he’d be fun to control. 

- Master Hand / Fighter Hand (Super Smash Bros. Series)

This is mostly me just being mad at the game for giving us a playable Master Hand, but only once. We couldn’t have even gotten a Master Mode in extras, huh? 

Yes, yes, I know Master Hand is the staple boss character for Smash Bros. He’s been in every game, for crying out loud! I’m honestly surprised it took them this long to give us a playable Master Hand. But this leads into my idea:

A new hand, made specifically to fight in Smash Bros, called Fighter Hand.

Yes, it’s cheesy. Yes, it’s stupid. But hey, it would be fun.

He would have scaled-down versions of Master Hand’s moves, with mainly projectile-based specials and tilts. He would be floaty, although introducing a flying character would be interesting to see how they balance it. For a final smash, maybe they could bring back Master Core from Smash 4 for a Giga Bowser-esque punch.

- The Knight (Hollow Knight)

Hollow Knight is an Indie Game that I never finished (I’m working on it, okay?) that’s kind of like Metroid in the way it’s played. It's also a very popular game, and I like bugs, so they get the number two spot because I like him.

And the special Soul moves you unlock translate well into Specials. Platformers always translate well into Smash, so he would work very well in the game. I don’t know what their moveset would be (as I haven’t finished the game yet), but I know they would be a small, fast character that mainly uses their nail to attack like a sword.

And my most wanted character in Super Smash Brothers: Ultimate is...

- Beatrix LeBeau (Slime Rancher)

Okay, look. I’m aware this has zero chance of happening. Slime Rancher was never the most popular game, and Nintendo has never mentioned it ever. But it’s one of my favorite games, and I just think Beatrix would be an incredible character in Smash Bros. 

She would use her jetpack to recover, she would shoot plorts as projectiles, use he vacpac to suck up both fighters and projectiles, and maybe shoot a boom slime as an explosive and unpredictable bouncing hazard. Her smash attacks and aerials would use the various slimes you can vacuum up and feed in the game, like the Rad Slime and Rock Slimes. She would be really good offstage and onstage with her weakness being her speed. 

She could bring a LOT to this series, and it would be another inspirational indie rep. And, hey, Minecraft Steve got in. Who knows at this point.

Anyway, there’s my list. Feel free to argue with me or explain why Geno should be on my list (I will not care) in the comments or reblogs, this list is not changing unless I play some new game that I feel should be represented. 

[dundunny]

Review: Assassin’s Creed III

I have to first make a disclaimer that I started this game in 2018 so my memories of the earlier parts are a little hazier. This probably is down with the first game as one of the worst in the series. Let me start by saying the franchise hasn't impressed me: The characters aren't very interesting and the plot is dumb, but I love climbing all over historical urban environments. I haven't played Assassin's Creed II since the early 2010s, but to this day I can remember with startling clarity parkouring Ezio up the cathedral in Florence.

Assassin's Creed III doesn't really have that. Boston and New York in the 1700s haven't created the architecture that's jaw-dropping enough to draw interest; hell, a good portion of New York is fucking burned down. So the vast majority of the game is wilderness. And herein lies the studio's problem with game design since day one: They create massive environments, but there isn't a lot of stuff in them. What they do is construct famous landmarks with fine detail, but the everyday buildings people live in look exactly the same and there isn't enough visual difference for me to navigate or even care about what I'm looking at. Let me compare to Arkham Knight. Yes, storefronts were replicated, but in my head I can still remember the lighthouse by the movie studio, the intersection for Gotham's version of Time Square, how the train tracks moves through that Eiffel Tower thing, the Halloween balloon floats by the GCPD, the shops underground below the skyscrapers, and the dock area on the southern part of Founder's Island. If I'm asked to even vaguely lay out a city map for Boston or New York, I've literally got nothing. Ubisoft just made bunch of skins for buildings and plastered it everywhere.

This is massively worse in the "frontier" because if you've seen one tree or log, you've seen them all here. Oh, I can recall the coastline to the west and east, where the fortresses are, Lexington, Monmouth, etc. But it's not fun to run through. Let's take another game, Breath of the Wild. Most of that game was climbing up the side of mountains or fighting in forests or swimming up a waterfall. I haven't played that game in a long time, but I still can vividly recollect shrines, ponds, cottages, stabbing enemies on scaffolding over a ravine, finding a tower surrounded by tar, the beautiful rocks around Zora's Domain, stumbling upon dragon skeletons... Exploration was the reward in that game. It's just not in Assassin's Creed III. Yeah, there are the feathers or treasure boxes, but I just indifference. As I said, tree 1 looks basically the same as tree 384.

The next issue is Connor. He's just boring as character. Altair went from douchebag to humble leader, Ezio was cool in everything he did, but Connor... I don't think he ever really knew what he was doing. His thing is revenge, specifically against Charles Lee for burning down his village and killing his mother. Everything else he did was really trying to put roses on his actions. Yeah, Ezio's was vengeance as well, but he really became a leader who furthered the Assassin cause. Conner... well, he made the homestead but just kinda invited people to live there and none of them were assassins. He meanders his way to his end goal by saying he wants to protect his village but ends up killing those of his people who don't agree with his methods (including his childhood friend). He allies himself with the Patriots, even though it should be very evident they don't like Native Americans any more than the British, and then is surprised when he learns Washington has killed some of his people. Also his voice actor is not very good. Really, I would've preferred to play the game as Haytham and I was so sad when we found out he was a Templar.

Assassin's Creed III also closes the Desmond arc. The premise behind the franchise is interesting—that you can access memories of your ancestors through your DNA—but as the series progressed I found the modern-day portion to become the most farcical part. Yeah, it was cool back in Assassin's Creed II when you saw the first glimpses of the "truth" and realized there was this ancient civilization that the Assassins are probably descended from. But then we learn that everything was destroyed in a solar flare (which somehow causes massive earthquakes?) and we have to stop it from happening again. Ubisoft, is that the best you can come up with? Where the hell did that come from? You walked away from that conference room thinking that was a good idea? When Desmond has to make his big decision about his fate and that of the world, at this point I'm just incredulous about the whole situation that it means nothing to me.

However that section does provide the funniest part of the whole game: When Desmond breaks into Abstergo, for some reason he and all the guards are drawing swords on each other. Why? It's literally 2012. Why aren't you all using guns? Can you imagine touring the White House and all the secret service are sporting scimitars instead of a glock?

So yeah, this was a very underwhelming installment. Normally I try to collect as much as possible and play the DLC because even after all my bitching Assassin's Creed is still fun to play, but I didn't have the emotional attachment or amusement to put in the extra effort. Hopefully the next game will be better.

[kogameh]

anyways uh. longass teal mask thoughts with spoilers ofc.

the story is....tbh its nothing to write home about, and i doubt it'll get the same amount of praise as the base game's story at all. in fact it EXACTLY had everything (minus one thing but i'll get back to that) i predict it'll be with ogerpon and the momotaro trio's design. so i'll spare from spoiling that if you had the exact same inference as me because, believe me, they're not hiding what the pokemons' role are in the slightest.

tbh i already had my expectations down knowing the base requirement to play this DLC is to just "start your treasure hunt" (read: literally when you're done with the game tutorial). so they did exactly what you expect from that as well--theyre not gonna address you being a champion, nor anything with the fact that youre already friends with nemona/arven/penny and all that endgame jazz lol. frankly this is my biggest disappointment with this DLC because i love paldea's cast a lot and this DLC barely gave me that...but ah well.

the stars of the show are DEFINITELY kieran and carmine. to the point other characters are just...There to deliver NPC quests or something or only give story hints to the next DLC and not much else. (briar is def the most sus still)

but back to both of them; carmine is one i didnt expect to be someone two-faced lol. she legit called us a weirdo and bunches of other insults, i think this is the closest we'll get to a rude rival-kun in this game (unless you wanna count when arven being an ass at first when we were total strangers with him). ofc she eventually warms up and accepts you and all but she still slips into this haughty side of herself very often and i love that lol. and she also DOES have her reason of being Like That, nothing too deep, but it fits her and she's a fun character to have all around.

kieran on the reverse (:)) side though, uh, oh boy. i grew REALLY fond of him at first when he was shy and unsure about calling us a friend. but then the Angst™ part hits and...yeah, as i've said, the writing really doesn't do it for me once they showed kieran's "motives" and reasons for adoring the "ogre". basically MC and carmine hide the fact they met ogerpon from kieran and he?? basically compared himself to the ogre who got demonized as an outcast in the kitakami village with that?? just because of his sister not telling him a secret??? uhhhh. i wish they'd give him a backstory of being estranged by his classmates or fellow villagers or something and hence why he felt so #relatable to the ogre stemmed all the way from his childhood would make sense that way because this conflict just feels too much of a reach for me to sympathize him in this part ^&%^$^&%^#

also uh, i did said ONE thing i was also expecting from the trailers is kieran going apeshit. in fact i was thinking "damn kieran suddenly going angst would make more sense if he was possessed by the evils or smth" and i was REALLY disappointed that that was the only expectation of mine that didn't happen...until....uh....................until the VERY last scene in this DLC happens. and they're implying that he IS going apeshit. with a cliffhanger. HOLY FUCK.

anyways kieran is VERY unwell please help him (but i still love him)

also uh, the kitakami region itself? personally i had fun with it. I LOVE the matsuri the most and im so happy we get to explore a rural Japanese area in pokemon like this. in fact there should be more video games with such areas actually (yes i preordered the physical ver of the shinchan game already) however, uh, the map *is* quite small in comparison to the base game and sadly the areas like mountains and forest, etc? dont expect an improvement in graphics too much even with the smaller map. so just a note if thats your priority in exploring open worlds like that yeah.

and uhh, ive said that the "plot" with the pokemons were predictable and all, but the "quest" to reveal their lore was amusing and never boring to me so that's something. i especially like how they presented ogerpon's side of the story (albeit it was a short bit).

overall. yeah. was the story anything spectacular? not really. did i had fun with it? oh definitely.

frankly on its own the story isnt anything special (i really only cared for kieran/carmine/orgepon really) but it DOES serve as an interesting bridge for the next DLC...which...now i have higher expectations for, thats p much my conclusion with it.

is it worth the price tag though? uh. idk yet. if you're on the fence with that i suggest waiting for onions on indigo disk. thats as much i can recommend.

so yeah. i had a good time with it. and at least thats more things to feed my scarvio brainrot

just finished teal mask

THE FUCKING CLIFFHANGER AT THE END MIGHT GIVE WHAT I WANTED TO SEE IN THIS DLC EXCEPT IT'LL BE IN THE NEXT ONE???? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[sage-nebula]

I haven’t finished the DLC yet since I’ve spent most of my time fucking off into the wilderness (as I do), but—

Thoughts on the Isle of Armor so far:

— I like that both Klara and Avery are antagonistic “rivals,” since Bede was the first one we’ve had in a long time and having just one antagonistic rival since the early 2000s isn’t enough. They have their differences, but Avery and Klara are similar enough personality-wise that you get the same experience no matter which game you picked. (For the record, I only have Sword, but I’ve seen screenshots of Avery from Shield players.) With that said, though, their development is railroaded; I get that the story section in the Isle of Armor DLC is much shorter than the main game for obvious reasons, but Klara started despairing about her inability to beat me after the second battle. Mustard talked about how much I influenced Klara even though I’d only known her for like an hour. For such dynamic characters, it’s a shame that their role in the game is so short.

— Speaking of, is the Isle of Armor completely cut off from the rest of Galar? Do they not get news on that island? How does no one know that the player is the Champion?? Like Klara “cheated” in the final battle (the Toxic Spikes literally never affected my pokémon lol), but I feel like we the players were cheating the entire time by going up against a bunch of rookie trainers in a training dojo. Like?? Everyone expresses shock that the player is so strong and it’s like . . . yeah . . . the player is the MFing Champion, they beat the previously undefeated Champion Leon, like what did you expect? I honestly felt bad for Klara because, as much of a bitch as she is, she really had no chance at all and it was kind of unfair to keep that knowledge from her. Particularly since my pokémon were all Lvl 100, like . . . man. (And I mean, in my defense, I tried telling them all several times they had the wrong person, but obviously, Thou Must do the story, lol.)

— I’m SO GLAD that you can feed the Gmax Soup to any pokémon capable of gigantamaxing that you want. I immediately gave it to Nova, my Charizard, because if they’re going to deny her the right to mega evolve in Galar, the least they can do is let her gigantamax. (And yes, I know that you get a Charmander with that ability after beating the main story, but that would be a Charizard, not my Charizard. There is a difference.) I’ll see if I can get more mushrooms for others later, but for right now I’m so happy that I can give Nova this at the very least.

— I was similarly thrilled that following pokémon are back, but . . . I don’t think they implemented it very well at all, tbh. It being limited to the Isle of Armor aside, I cycled through all my main pokémon and either they’re so fast they keep running into you and then having to stop, catch up, stop, catch up, or they’re so slow you literally leave them behind and they disappear on the map. I get that this was kind of inevitable due to no longer having the comfort of programmed sprites, but it’s still disappointing. They had a decent amount of extra time to work on this and a limited number of pokémon to work with, so I wish they’d improved it. Still, better than nothing, I guess.

— Back to the beginning, honestly, Klara giving me the Style Pass was the best way to get me off the Isle of Armor because once she gave it to me I, a slut for character customization, immediately fucked off to the boutiques and salons. (And then when I came back I fucked off into the wilderness for literal hours, but no one at the dojo seemed to care.) Also I refused to wear the dojo outfit because I hate the color yellow lolololol (And for all the fuss she made about it, Klara doesn’t wear hers, either?? What a brat lmao)

— I LOVE EXPLORING . . . AND FOR THAT REASON I HATE SHARPEDO. I mean first of all the way they pursue is kind of terrifying (they even come at you IF YOU’RE ON AN ISLAND, even though they can’t reach you), but even aside from that they’re SO FREQUENT it really annoys me lol. I don’t want to have to avoid a Sharpedo every ten seconds, fuck off!!

Anyway, I’ve got to decide which tower to go for with Kubfu (whom I’ve named Lucy in honor of the chaos child from The House in the Cerulean Sea), but so far I am enjoying the DLC a lot, even if I have little nitpicks. If nothing else, I really love exploring and this has given me plenty of room to explore, so that makes me happy if nothing else hahaha.

[not-iscariot]

This was really hard but if you’re interested in my reasoning then scroll below...

Favorite game of all time: Dragon Age Inquisition

For a lot of the answers I wanted to give Big Brain Answers, but thinking through all the games I’ve ever played... I don’t have the hours on any other game like I do this one. I have my own issues with the franchise and some of the decisions that get made but hot damn does a good RPG Fantasy series do it for me. I’ve never played another game that genuinely feels different and unique every playthrough, the world is so big and the ability to feel like a bunch of different versions of the Inquisitor are some of the reasons I find the game so fun to replay. I’ve played 3 games through to completion, 2 with the Trespasser DLC, and 1 where I played every DLC available. I’m currently on another playthrough right now... so based on my attachment and hour log I would say this is my favorite game of all time.

Best Story: Mass Effect 3

This was also really hard because there are a lot of games where I loved the story. I think it’s really hard to end a series and I honestly liked the ending of Mass Effect although not everyone is a fan. The choice-consequence ramifications in this game are pretty brutal and it’s rewarding to see the conclusion of so many of the companions’ arcs. The first time I finished this game I was sobbing which showed how much investment I had in the story and the characters, especially Shepard. I think there are a lot of interesting larger ideas explored in the series like collective consciousness through the Geth as well as the tension between synthetic and organic, which I found myself thinking about a lot when reading Emergent Strategy. 

Favorite Art Style: The Wolf Among Us

RIP Telltale. I liked a lot of their games, but WAU is where I feel the style really hit it’s stride. It worked super well with the fantasy/detective story. I’m sad they never got to finish the game. 

“I’ll finish it some day”: Zelda: Breath of the Wild

BotW is a really amazing game but I have never in my life finished a Zelda game. I want to finish it bad but I sucked literal ass at the boss fights. I also struggle hard with games that have huge open worlds when there isn’t a story really driving me through objectives and missions. Some people love the freedom, I tend to get bored quickly. I dropped the game because I didn’t have time to play it so when I feel up to it again I’m starting from the beginning.

Big Personal Impact: Dragon Age 2

This game made me realize I was bi and helped me come out. That’s pretty much all there is to it. By far my favorite companion set, I hope for future games they take more cross impact between companion characters because that was seriously lacking in Inquisition.

Best Combat: Spider-man 

Super fun combat that you personalize to your fighting style. When I was hitting my best in terms of combos it felt super cool. Just a really strong game gameplay-wise. 

You like, but everyone else hates: Beyond: Two Souls

I don’t know if everyone hates it but when I talk about it I hear a lot of groans... this is definitely one of my favorite games to play with someone else and I think it’s super engaging to play with people who aren’t really into video games. It’s easy enough for them to get into with a decent story and decent twist reveals. 

You hate, but everyone likes: Fallout Franchise

I’ve tried so hard to get into these games. I own most of them but I have never been able to finish one. Fallout 4 was super buggy and I couldn’t get through some of the critical fights. I wanted to be into it but it just didn’t do it for me.

Underrated: Jedi Fallen Order

I don’t think it’s that underrated but I had a friend tell me it was “just Dark Souls with lightsabers” and I thought that was an unfair assessment. The Jedi gameplay is really fun and the boss fights are hard but so worth it to keep trying until you get through them. Also, as a Star Wars nerd, I liked this offshoot exploration of the Jedi. 

Overrated: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

OK I bought this game having never played a Witcher game or engaged with really any Witcher content and I thought, based off the amazing reviews, that wouldn’t be a problem but I could not get through it. I just didn’t understand what the heck was going on or get attached to any of the characters. I went back and bought the first two games on sale, although the first is so frustrating because you have to obsessively save so that you don’t lose progress. I’m open to changing my mind down the road but I just didn’t get into it.

“Why do I like this?”: Grand Theft Auto V

I bought this at the beginning of quarantine last year as a long game to have that would take me ages to complete so I wouldn’t lose my mind. It’s the only GTA game I’ve ever played and I got super into it even though it’s like... GTA. Truly just THAT video game stereotype, you know?

Game you always go back to: Borderlands 2

I’ve played the other Borderlands games but this is definitely my favorite. Just a decent game to playthrough either on your own or with other people. I like the drop-in, drop-out story play through you can do with people.

That atmosphere...: Stardew Valley

Pretty self-explanatory. I wish I lived there. I want what they have...

Bad Day Cure: The Uncharted Franchise

Decent story and story arcs. Good gameplay to zone out to. I like the characters. This was the first set of games I played on my PS4 and it was during a blizzard. Super replayable.

Favorite Protagonist: Hades (Zagreus)

I almost said Dragon Age 2 for Hawke but because Hawke’s personality really depends on the player (I exclusively do humorous) I didn’t feel that counted for strong protag writing. Zagreus rocks. Bi king. He’s sensitive and caring and tough and funny. His arc is so wholesome... my childhood trauma definitely projected heavy onto this game.

After Work Game: Left 4 Dead 2

This was the first game I ever bought on Steam back in 2012 to play with my online friends from deviantArt... that’s how old this game is for me. I’ve clocked almost 400 hours and it’s definitely my go-to comfort/tune out game. I literally play this game to self soothe when I have anxiety... I’m so used to it and familiar with the gameplay that it doesn’t stress me out at all. 

Biggest Letdown: Mass Effect Andromeda

After ME series I was honestly fine where Shepard’s story ended and I was down for another protag and offshoot story but... the game sucked. The combat was fun and it wasn’t unplayable but ME was so good that this game just didn’t live up to the standard. The companions are just not as interesting or engaging, it was buggy and animated weird as hell, and I couldn’t give a fuck about Ryder honestly...

“Back in the day” game: Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire

Curling up on the couch or in my room on my Gameboy Advanced SP in red collecting pokémon... these were the DAYS. 

“Not the best but having fun”: Fire Emblem Franchise

Three Houses is definitely my favorite and the only other that I liked out of the few I’ve played was Awakening. I think the games are decent and fun, Three Houses was definitely the strongest in terms of side characters and story, but there are still issues like... how romancing works. Claude is so bisexual it’s actually alarming... 

Criminally Overlooked: Mirror’s Edge

This series had potential to become such a cool franchise but it stopped after Catalyst. I was so invested in the world they created and it was just very... whatever Watchdogs was trying to do but I didn’t like as much. Some really awesome gameplay, just a lot of parkour and running.

Depressing Game: The Walking Dead 

This game and the subsequent ones I just feel so bad for Clementine, this poor girl cannot win. I never finished the last season because I lost track of what Telltale ended up doing, but now I know they finished it so I gotta get back in there. Yeah I cried at the end of this first game.

Favorite ACTIVE Franchise: Dragon Age

So many issues with the series but... it’s likely if they’ve announced a new one I’ve already pre-ordered. I’m very invested and hope Dragon Age 4 is as good if not better than Inquisition...

Not usually my thing but...: Red Dead Redemption 2

Not at all a game I would usually get based of how it was advertised and explained to me as well as the usual crowd who’s into it but... I really loved it. I said this before that I’m not great with super large maps and free reign but RDR2 is one of the few exceptions. I would spend hours just running around and hunting. I started playing it in quarantine and lord... it was so nice to just roam around this huge, beautiful map and feel like I was hanging out outdoors. It also made it shitty to be stuck outdoors because all I wanted to do after I finished was go on a cross-country road trip. Still very much a like... manly man game. But I don’t mind that.

Anyways that’s my two cents. Here’s the blank:

[radramblog]

Top 5 Games, ever...?

This was sort of on my mind, considering the recent GOTY post I made. Come explore the hyperfixations that managed to stick around long enough to be my top 5 list. 

5. Uhhhhhh

So turns out I haven’t figured out what number 5 is yet. I suppose instead I’ve got to split it among the honourable mentions, huh.

Kirby Super Star Ultra is probably the best game from the GBA/DS era of the series and is just a blast to play. It introduced Masked Dedede, and all the banging music and memes that come with it, and probably deserves a spot here just for that.

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth removes all the awkward Flash Stuff from the excellent original, and adds so, so much more content- the game’s final expansion still isn’t out yet as of writing but even now there’s just so much to unlock. While some aspects of the game can be pretty unforgiving, you probably aren’t going to be exposed to the worst of it unless you get into it pretty hardcore, and if you do, you’ll get used to it. It’s a roguelike, after all.

Speaking of roguelikes, FTL: Faster than Light is chaotic yet serene, brutal but fair, and a bunch of other pretentious dichotomies wrapped into a neat little bow. It takes some getting used to the mechanics, but once you get the hang of it, building your little ship up and up in the face of all odds is extremely satisfying. Have fun dying hopefully not too many times.

SPEAKING of permadeath, Realm of the Mad God gets a spot here just out of sheer hours I’ve spent with it. After a messy few years with a not-so-great owner lead me to dropping the game, it seems finally to have recovered and has devs and community that actually freaking care about it, which is nice. Also, it’s free, and the recent transition to unity has the game looking better and playing smoother than 12-year-old me could ever have dreamed of.

Terraria isn’t just 2D Minecraft btw, its actually more of an RPG/Metroidvania thing, you probably know at this point, but its pretty good hey. Still haven’t fully dove into 1.4 but considering I thought Red was done at 1.1 I’m not complaining with what I have played.

 4. Fallout: New Vegas

(...ish??)

I’d argue that between the primitiveness of the original Fallout games (I’ve tried to get into them, but I just can’t) and how…meh… the other Bethesda ones are, New Vegas is the only one in the series to stand up strong. Obsidian’s excellent writing and tweaks to the gameplay of 3 make New Vegas feel like an actual world, rich and characterised, which was something I found lacking in previous open-world RPGs I’d played up until that point (which admittedly might just have been Skyrim). It’s a game that challenges you to make choices that actually matter for more than the mere moments of an altered dialogue tree, both in dialogue and character building, which helps make the game actually replayable. It is also the first game in a long time that really sold the idea of DLC on me, seeing as each of the game’s 4 expansions adds an entire new region of world with its own stories and unique gameplay, tying together with the main plot but standing on their own. I am excluding Gun Runner’s Arsenal from this for obvious reasons, though it isn’t like GRA is a bad DLC or anything- on the contrary, the sheer scope of modifications and munitions makes playing a repair/science-based character incredibly fulfilling- but it just isn’t at the same scope as the other 4 (Courier’s stash barely counts seeing as its just oops! All preorder bonuses).

New Vegas is one of the few games I have actually 100% completed, achievements and all, but I’m still pretty sure there are bits I’ve missed, paths I haven’t taken, characters I haven’t talked to. Despite its inhospitability, the Mojave is always a comfortable place to return to.

 3. VA-11 Hall-A

(Hey look, my phone background)

Vallhalla is a masterclass in storytelling, atmosphere, and aesthetic. Like all good cyberpunk dystopias, you get themes of class and transhumanism and artificial intelligence, but they aren’t the point of Vallhalla. Through the window and lens of cyberpunk and PC98 nostalgia is focussed a surprisingly human story centred around the protagonist, Jill, which through multiple replays still hits me in the feels just so. Of course, Jill’s story is not the only one being discussed, as every single patron of the bar has their own life going on, and the glimpses we get imply a rich, often interconnected, world. Glitch City is, frankly, a shithole, and it’s not like you don’t get some assholes coming into the bar while you’re working it. The first patron you serve, in fact, is a great example of this- Donovan D. Dawson, essentially a parody of J. Jonah Jameson, is a colossal prick and knows it- but its clear he has his own system of morals and it is mentioned that he’s excellent at his job, much as he gripes about it. He’s rude and more than a little sexist, but frustratingly charismatic and authoritative, and he’s just one of many people who show up throughout the game. Vallhalla is the perfect game to sit down, grab your preferred beverage, and just relax with.

 2. Total Annihilation

(This image is on the steam page for this one, despite blatantly not being from vanilla TA)

I think I actually need to explain this one. Total Annihilation was a game released in 1997 made largely by Chuck Taylor, who would later go on to produce spiritual successor Supreme Commander. It’s an RTS game featuring exclusively robotic units with a fairly chunky aesthetic, allowing the visuals to age better than some, and a fully orchestrated soundtrack by Jeremy Soule, who would later go on to do work on a whole bunch of stuff, most notably Skyrim.

Total Annihilation is an intensely nostalgic game for me, being one of the first games I ever got to play as a kid outside of edutainment stuff, and I’d argue still holds up today (especially with the excellent Escalation mod). What it lacks in story (it’s pretty basic, but functional) it makes up for being miles ahead of its time mechanically, being the first (?) RTS to function in 3 dimensions- heights of things actually matter, hills exist and certain units climb them better than others, shooting down airplanes is difficult without anti-air but possible if you aim *just* right. While appearing pretty similar and having largely analogous units, the two factions of Arm and Core are well fleshed-out in terms of aesthetic and playstyle- Arm preferring fast and cheap equivalents to Core’s slow but powerful- and the unit variety is sufficient that strategies can vary wildly based on the map. Both campaigns as well as those from the game’s expansions are challenging, but satisfying, limiting the units you can produce to force exploration of different playstyles.

Total Annihilation isn’t something I tend to binge play for hours anymore, but I’ll pick it up for a bit every so often, and I don’t see that stopping for a long time (especially due to the recent steam release).

 1. Pokémon Emerald

(At the top, where it belongs)

Yeah, this was inevitable. Pokémon is my favourite series ever; Emerald is my favourite in the series. Go figure.

Emerald, being the final game for the franchise’s days on the Game Boy, reflects everything Game Freak had learned in the first 3 generations of the series’ history. The game’s balance is challenging but fair, never spiking so tough that it is insurmountable but never holding your hand either. The AI opponents are throwing odd combinations of mons and moves at you from every corner, double battles are everywhere but rarely mandatory, and the variety of available mon both before and during the postgame is excellent. The added features on top of Ruby and Sapphire are great- Battle Tents serve to replace 3 of the contest halls (they should have all been under one roof to begin with) and provide a taste of what would later be available in the Battle Frontier. The Frontier is probably the single most expansive and challenging postgame in any Pokémon game, providing the game with a longevity that is sorely needed due to the inaccessibility of Pre-DS multiplayer. The game also manages to tie together the plot of both Ruby and Sapphire into something that feels natural, and provides the series’ first ever actual cutscene, which felt a lot cooler at the time than it sounds now. The return of animated sprites gives the Pokémon a level of life far beyond the static sprites of RSFRLG, and in my eyes wouldn’t feel the same until Black and White several years later. The return of the Pokégear phone in the form of Match Call, as irritating as it is to some, makes the world feel alive in a way that Sinnoh and Kanto probably never will, in addition to making grinding a fair bit less tedious and more beneficial. It is, altogether, probably the perfect Pokémon experience, and in my opinion only one other game comes close (its Platinum).

Oh also, they got rid of the font from Ruby and Sapphire, thank fuck, that shit is atrocious.

[gaijinhunter]

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: Review

I haven’t had the time to edit a video review so here it is in text! 

Iceborne came and I got though Master Rank, through the last boss, and got to mess around with the end game in the 45 hours I have put into the game. Here is my spoiler free review. A shout out to Capcom for giving me a review code to play.

First off, I’m working off the assumption that you know about Iceborne and all the features it brings to the table so I’m not going to cover everything.

Main Story

While the main World story took about 40-50 hours, Iceborne will take about 30-40 depending on how you play. The story never felt like it was too much, and for the most part the flow was good. The story itself, like world, is nothing to write home about but it does add context to what you are doing, and also helps to explain why the new area opens up in parts.

Things I liked about how they handled it this time. First, all the major quests in the Hoarfrost Reach start out as expeditions, so that means if you are geared up enough, you could just beat the story monster in expedition mode, meaning you can cart more than twice and you won’t fail the quest.

Second, there is a large enough roster that if they tried to make you fight all the monsters as assigned quests, the game would be paced bad and the difficulty curve would be hard to control and I think they did a fine job of selecting the few monsters that did get featured as story quests and the difficulty goes up very nice and smooth from start to finish.

Seliana

The town of Seliana has the benefit of Capcom realizing what did and didn't work well in Astera and the result is a lovely town with a lovely main theme song. The layout is so well done, you won’t ever want to go back to Astera, and if you use the main functions of the hub town, I’d go as far as saying Seliana is a killer feature that makes Iceborne that more worth getting. 

The thing I liked most about Seliana was the attention to detail especially when it comes to the felynes. There are some goofy things added in, which is something I felt World needed more of.

The customization options to your room are really fun and makes exploring maps and doing some of the less hardcore things really worth it. I also love the new slot machine mini-game in which you can earn tons of useful items, including a rare ticket which can be exchanged for precious master rank Pallium. No, there are no micro-transactions in this game, this is all in-game fun for fun’s sake.

Monsters

Iceborne has to my knowledge 8 additional monsters they haven’t publicly revealed, 5 you will encounter in the main game and 3 are special goodies for post game. Then of course they will add new monsters via DLC. All of the new monsters are memorable and fun, and more than world, monsters will appear in all sorts of maps, which makes the hunts against them more varied and enjoyable. Turf wars seem to be a huge feature of the game and luring monsters into each other so they can help shave off a few thousand hit points is a useful strategy you can employ in each hunt.

Mechanics

The game really focuses on using the clutch claw and for the most part it works well. The monsters do fatigue for a few seconds quite often but they are also tank like in how much health they have, so the addition of the claw and these new moments of opportunity don’t make the game easier. In fact, hunts take longer this time than previous games, which I think a lot of players might like. I still suspect the end of Master Rank hunts are taking too long for my comfort at about 20-25 minutes, but I think they might be adding this buffer to account for all the end game mechanics for buffing your weapons. Either way, the hunts are longer, the additional difficulty levels work especially 2 player, and the hunts are fun.

Weapons

Monsters being fun to hunt is good since since they fine tuned the game so that elemental weapons are meaningful again, so you’ll want to get a nice non-elemental weapon to stick with as you start to collect the other ones for the weapon or weapons of your choice. They don’t have a lot of choices for weapons so there isn’t any confusion on what to make or debate on which is the best elemental weapon to make. But weapons is  one of the few things that remains very disappointing.

While some monsters like Zinogre saw most of its original weapon designs return, some of the weapons still are just ore or bone weapons with some monster material slapped on like a decoration. It hurts even worse this time, because there are so many iconic monsters that have returned. Capcom seems to have no clue that part of our memory of these monsters were the weapons we made from them. Looking at the Brachydios lance, I can’t see anything that excuses this design, and as a fan of these monsters, it feels like a slap in the face. What makes it worse is there seems to be no rhyme or reason for which weapons got to retain their iconic design and which got the ugly treatment, which just adds to the frustration because we don't even know why. This actually takes away some motivation for me to make more weapons and thus is something I need to be blunt and critical about here in my review.

Armor

The new armor is okay I guess. There isn’t a lot of variety but I think they are keeping it low to start so they can add in event variations and stuff, so it’s still too early to judge. I am disappointed that transmog hasn’t been introduced because some sets are still rubbish due to the focus on decorations. Take the Master Rank Odogaron set. First, the design is nice. But the set bonus is protective polish, which you can get in a single decoration if you get lucky, meaning that using 3 or more pieces form this set is kind of a waste. They could have made this version be called True Protective Polish and added in an attack or affinity boost, or something to make it different than the decoration, but they didn't. And ebony and basic odogaron have the same skill which was disappointing.

None of the new sets really screamed out to me as something I really wanted to get, and most of them come with random skills that I simply don’t want. In most cases it’s better to just get the beta sets since they have more slots, but the same can be said for world. One thing that is nice that they did was introduce new set bonuses for some monsters that raises the level cap of a specific skill, like say you want to have even more slugger KO damage, which normally goes to level 3, well if you trigger the diablos set skill you can raise it to level 5. The new decorations are simple and nice in that they are 4 slot decorations that have 2 skills or multiple levels of a single skill, so you could just theoretically grab a master rank weapon and terrorize high rank tempered monsters to collect a bunch of the core decorations you might be missing.

End Game

I won’t go into end game details but it’s certainly going to be something that people can sink several hundred hours into, so it’ll be fun to watch streamers play and do it, and it does give Capcom a new way to introduce new monsters later down the line. With world being a console game I probably won’t sink much time into the end game personally but I am still very happy with the overall package and I can always go and join other people on their quests so it’s not like I’m missing out on anything.

Overall:

Iceborne does a great job of building off the strong foundation that world gave it, fleshing it out with more monsters and things to do, and all the new mechanics feel and look great. The new hub town is a delight and master rank quests, while they can be a tad long, I bet most people will appreciate that instead of going in with 4 players and destroying a quest in 4 minutes. The choice to make some weapons look like a basic weapon with decorative material baffles me and I hope enough people will voice their unhappiness so that Capcom rethinks this artistic direction. But even that can’t change the fact that Iceborne is a fantastic addition that really completes the monster hunter world experience and in my opinion is more than worth its price-tag, I just feel that it holds it back from true greatness a little.

I hope you guys enjoyed this review, and and until next time, happy hunting!

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Four

Wherein we make it to the Citadel, and do a lot of running around.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

So right away, we meet Udina and the Council, way to throw us right into it.  

It’s a brief introduction and gives us an idea what Humanity is up against and who is representing us.  Basically, we’re supposed to get the idea that it’s a lot of bureaucratic bullshit, I guess.

This is also the first time we see Asari and Salarians, and they’re in reddish-brown and white, which really isn’t the best look.

Bioware continues to push the story forward.  We get enough to know that Udina is kind of an ass, and the Council isn’t going to just trust what some guy says even if he is the representative for billions of people.

And finally, after this, we’re set free.

The Citadel I think is one of the coolest locations in like almost any game I’ve ever played.  They do a great job of both making it feel huge, but also accessible.  Enough bridges to get across to places you need to get to, and after you walk somewhere once, Citadel Rapid Transit is great.  I still choose to take elevators about 80% of the time even when I can CRT somewhere, just because I like the squad conversations and news updates. There’s a shorter elevator rides mod that helps, too.

There’s so much to do and see, and having one of the main areas just be such an awesome combination of scifi futurism and lush greenery + water is both trippy and breathtaking.  I think, especially with the updated graphics mods/settings, the Presidium especially holds up fairly well.  I mean it definitely feels more populated and modern in ME3 but, I just consider this to be more of a residential / professional area of the Presidium and most of what we see in ME3 is a more retail section.

It’d be annoying to be a groundskeeper here, though.  Lots of green areas that you’d really need to climb to, or garden on a steep slant. :p

I always found it interesting that the natural first place to head to is into the ambassador’s office next door, where we find some friendly aliens, and one not-so-friendly one.  But honestly, this is a great place to find out the different ways other species view humanity, and how there’s apparently tiers of respect given to various species.

I always kind of hoped the Elcor would feature more prominently into the world in future games, but at least we got Hamlet.  I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about how Elcor like... do things?  We never see it but you have to assume that their hands have opposable thumbs and they’re able to stand on two legs, right?  I want to see what an Elcor ship looks like and Dakuna specifically.  Give us more elcor, Bioware!

BTW, the Mass Effect: Annihilation (aka the book that was supposed to be based on the Quarian Ark DLC that never happened in Andromeda) is totally worth reading just for the elcor character in it.  It’s also probably the best of the Mass Effect books, in my opinion.

Din Korlack’s got a point though, they not only have to share an office, but their view isn’t nearly as good as the human’s.  This is especially bullshit for the volus, who could stand on that railing and probably STILL wouldn’t have a view.

I love how Mass Effect 2 takes her from a completely forgettable character to making me think  “Sorry you’re gonna die in a few weeks, your mom’s really gonna miss you.” every time I see her.

PALIN DESERVED BETTER.

I don’t remember which ME3 mod it is, maybe the Spectre Expansion Mod or maybe EGM, but thank you whichever modder it was who made Palin’s story and death more clear in ME3.  Sorry Udina got you killed.

Also, it was good to get a dissenting opinion on Spectres from him.

Avina is such a good, optional way to get more loredump.  Yes, you can again ask them about Spectres if you want to hear about them again.  But I liked that each Avina terminal taught you a little more about whatever you were nearby, and the state of the galaxy in general and since they were programmed to be information dumps, it felt more natural to get information this way.

Don’t these people have jobs?

I love the Krogan statue, and the Avina terminal nearby telling you about it.  But now every time I see it, all I can picture is Grunt and his buddies climbing it.  So good.

Managed to get a clean shot of the crew without the UI in the elevator, thanks Flycam!  You have about a half a second to get this shot though, because the camera is stationary while the elevator is not.

Oh hell-lo Pailin, who is your charming-looking friend there?

This entire conversation needs to be longer. It’s a nice, quick introduction to Garrus, but, well, let’s spend a little more time with the main characters!!

I mean how can you not just not immediately love that?  Hey remember how bad Garrus’ face texture used to be?  Thanks, modders.

I just really love the Citadel tower.  Absolutely beautiful and atmospheric.

SO the thing is, if you can pretend that Saren isn’t, you know, already half Reaperized, 100% the Council is right to not just go throwing one of their longer-term agents in jail because Shepard had a bad dream and a random dockworker said the guy who killed Saren looked like this.

Honestly though, this and OH A GOOD CHUNK OF MASS EFFECT 2 would be so much easier if Shepard wore a bodycam. :p

Also, I wonder who took the dockworker’s testimony?  Did Kaidan run back real quick while Shepard was sleeping?

This was an embarrassment for humanity, and I agree with Udina that we needed more to go on before making demands of the council.  The council is right to not convict based off a bad dream Shepard had.  Go get some real proof!  Also, do a bunch of sidequests!

And scan some Keepers for this shady guy!

Which is actually good quest design, because you really have to go to every nook and cranny in the Citadel to find them all, though it would have been nice if they showed up on the minimap.   Really gets you to explore and get to know the area like the back of your hand.

This time around, I forgot to grab the one outside Dr. Michele’s office and had to hunt for it before heading up to grab the last one at the docks.

Thank you, though, Barla Von, for telling us all about the Shadow Broker and telling us about Wrex.  See u in ME3.

Bioware please give us diverse-suited volus in a remaster.  Maybe I’m reusing a pic of Din Korlack, you’ll never know! :p

Thanks, texture modders, for really highlighting what the end of the hanar’s noses look like. 

The hanar are another species I wish we got more of throughout the series.  They are probably the most alien of all the aliens we interact with.   I mean, at least we got Blasto.  I’d really love to visit Kahje someday.  I know it’s in the comics, but you know, in-game.

Annnd let’s go visit Sha'ira.

I have very mixed feelings about Sha'ira.  On one hand, she’s clearly very respected, is probably making bank, in control of her own destiny etc.  On the other hand, she’s probably the asari we have the second most interaction with in this game after Liara, and after just seeing Benezia’s boob-tastic clothing and then heading to Chora’s Den soon to see the dancing asari we’re getting a very slanted view of the species.  I think Bioware course corrects in later games but oof this is such a dude-fantasy alien species in ME1 it hurts.  Especially since Liara is almost a born-sexy-yesterday trope.

Also... don’t touch me if I don’t wanna be touched. =\

Noveria advertisements... that just say Noveria.  I guess this is effective marketing in 2148.

Look how great those shadows from the tree are... actual definition in shadow... wow.

Raise your hand if you’ve missed this conversation in a playthrough before and reloaded like an hour or more past to make sure you get it.

It’s one of those little moments that they didn’t have to put in.  Just a little conversation reflecting on humans and humanity, and our place in the world, and showcasing Ash’s wit and Kaidan’s adorkableness.  Also making sure you appreciate all the work that went into this particular view.  It’s a pause in the action and all the things you have going on, and it’s so great for characterization and making you feel a part of the world.  

Speaking of the view... I decided to flycam it.  Warning, I spoil some of the “magic” below.

Pretty quickly, you see that the arms are actual objects, untextured on the non-visible side.

I decided to head for the closest line of “cars” on the bottom center-left to see what those “cars” looked like.

Flycam feels pretty fast when you’re trying to frame a specific shot just right... but when you need to travel a great distance, it feels verrry slow.

It took me probably close to five minutes of traveling to make it all the way there.

What I discovered was... a few of the buildings are real, the rest are a very good painting.

This is how far away the citadel is from the rest of the map. That grid would be that entire view from outside Dr. Michele’s office all the way to the edge of the shops on the other side, plus some extra.

So both the building that those “cars” (the string of white lights) are coming from and going to are... on the painting.  Neither one are physical objects.

Made some gifs.

You can see the lights moving at a mostly-downward angle, while it looks like they’re just heading south when standing on the Citadel.  Also you can see other lights moving farther up the map.

And here you can see the lights “disappearing behind a building” but they’re really just hitting an invisible wall, the dark angle of that building is just a part of the wall painting.   

Looking up from the wall...

So that was a fun distraction.

Emily Wong deserved:

Better.

An entire shirt.

A mention in ME3 after she gave her life on social media defending Earth against the reapers while keeping her cool reporting on the invasion the day before ME3′s release.

That day before launch though... was amazing.  Bioware did such a great job on social media with the reaper invasion happening on twitter.  I loved that lots of fans got into it, too, posting photoshops and their own reaper invasion stories.  I remember being at work that day but not actually working very much.  A few friends and I had a google hangout going on to report in on anything we saw happening on social media and keep up with it and to be very hyped together online.  

We reblogged a bunch of it on fuckyeahbioware starting about here and working backwards through numbers.  

One of the ME3 mods, and again, sorry, don’t remember which, does give Emily a nice tribute through an email.  She deserves it.

Okay that’s enough for this post!  Will try to finish up the Citadel next time!

[itsclydebitches]

Initial Thoughts on Hearts of Stone

(based on like an hour and a half of gameplay) 

Hello yes I love Shani and would already die for her. She must protected at all costs. Not that she needs it. Woman is a force to be reckoned with... while still remaining kind and smart enough to know her own limits. Be still my heart. 

Meanwhile, what is it with Geralt and redheads? 

BIG FROG BOSS. That fight was great. However, I panicked immediately afterwards upon realizing that a) That was actually a prince and b) I’d spilled his guts all over the sewer floor. Cue my frantic googling to see if I’d missed a cure somehow and was very sad that plot demanded he stay dead. 

Can you imagine that as an option though? If that much of the rumors are true---he really is a foreign prince under a curse---maybe the solution is true too. Excuse me, CDPR, but how dare you deny me the cut scene of Geralt launching himself onto this slime-covered, acid spitting, demodog-faced frog and just planting a giant smooch right between the eyes? Geralt choking because he definitely just got a whole bunch of poison into his bloodstream from that. One very confused prince now sitting naked in a pile of muck. They become friends and Geralt forever teases him about how he’s the princess of Ofier now, where are all those feather beds and silk slippers I was promised? You can forward them to BB at Corvo Bianco.  

Hey there, mirror dude, want to know how much I trust you? NOT AT ALL. Holy shit this guy gives me the willies. 

Serious reflection for a moment: I’m actually super disappointed we didn’t get Ofier as a new zone. B&W raised my expectations way too high. Oh, contract took me to a massive new area to explore, complete with culture, aesthetics, and political intrigue? Now look! I’ve been captured and forced aboard a ship! Sure, we haven’t traveled for the month my poor cellmate said we’d need to reach Ofier, but we might have landed somewhere else equally cool and will need to finish going there at some point. Now that our ship has crashed and I’m free of my captors, I can’t WAIT to explore this place. Just gonna open up my map...

....what do you mean I’m in fucking Velen, a stone’s throw from another poor village with a level 15 quest? 

Okay, yeah, at this point I’m just being needlessly greedy because I mean how dare CDPR not give us ANOTHER massive zone after crafting a 200+ hour game with enough detail to make you weep /s  But! The expectation was there nonetheless. I was thinking about how cool this language barrier was gonna be. Would I only be able to sell to people who spoke common? Would my choices in dialogue become limited and garbled as I tried to negotiate contracts with very little knowledge of the spoken language? I want to see these cities that rival Novigrad! So yeah, meeting a few adventurers is fun and all but, as established, I’m a greedy player who probably should have played HoS first. 

Right now B&W remains ahead of HoS as my favorite DLC (with the obligatory acknowledgement that I’ve barely started). Toussaint is just damn hard to beat, especially when comparing it to tacked on parts of dreary Velen. At the start of B&W I enjoyed the mystery of, “Dangerous beast hunting down knights!” more than I’m currently engaged in the mystery of, “Strange bandit/pirate dude may have tricked you into killing a prince?” Obviously O’Dimm is the major draw though. I want to know what his creepy deal is. And as much as I love Shani, no one can replace Regis as helpful companion. I feel bad about it, I really do, but you’re just not the philosophical vampire I’m looking for. B&W fucking stole my heart and I’m having a devil of a time getting it back. 

[humm-plays-fe]

Some concluding thoughts about NG VW on Maddening, Pt. 2: Battle time

From my previous post, I had a rough plan in place for duoing the game with Byleth and Claude, despite having not beat maddening before even with NG+, let alone without it. I’ll split up how battles went and the strategies I employed into 5 categories: early game, midgame, endgame, paralogues, and troublesome. Chapter breakdowns below the break.

Final Thoughts:

I honestly don’t know if I think this was overall easier or harder than training a standard team. On one hand, it was refreshing to only have to worry mainly about 2 units and once the avoid ball got rolling they were almost invincible. The months between story battles went by quickly because I only needed to focus on training one unit; the others I just left on their default goals. I was able to use most of my points on training Byleth to get onto a pegasus ASAP or cook stat-boosting dishes to help with the early chapters instead of having a bunch of meals.

The problem with this is that that ball doesn’t really pick up speed until chapters 15/16 and the chapters immediately preceding these were some of the roughest in the game to the point that I wasn’t even sure I would be able to beat them. I only got through ch. 6 because I had happened to have recruited Shamir and Cathrine. Sure all the exp got funneled into two units but because it falls off fast once you hit a certain level threshold above the enemy I do feel like that wasted exp could have trained up a third or fourth unit easily.

All that being said even with all the stat boosters I poured into both Claude and Byleth (by the end they both had reasonable def and Byleth had decent res) if they had actually ever gotten hit they still would have died very easily. With the enemy density and maddening’s tendency to have the enemy AI start mobbing and along with the annoying enemy skill sets (swordmasters have QR, wtf) I don’t know that I actually could have found it within myself to keep an entire roster going. So, despite certain hair-pulling scenarios, I almost feel like I cheesed NG maddening. But I did beat it, and I got the title screen, and that’s all that matters to me. And yes, I S-supported Claude at the end.

Feel free to ask me any questions about the run I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff.

TL;DR for Chapter Breakdowns:

Early Game: a bit of a challenge but fair

Midgame: build is coming together but most of the Troublesome chapters are here and they feel pretty bs when you try and lowman them. Get past those and you’re fine.

Endgame: Easy peasy. AS+ ftw.

Early Game (Prologue + Ch. 1-4)

You would think that the first few chapters would be the most difficult. In a way that’s kinda right. I’m pretty sure these chapters took the most turns out of most of the rest of the story maps.

Prologue wasn’t too difficult, stole Dimitri and Edelgard’s weapons and then used them as meat shields.

Ch. 1: Three Houses - I used whatever I could get here. While I tried to get kills with only Claude or Byleth I definitely used the other students to chip as much as possible or even get a kill or two just to get through the map. I distributed the DLC statboosters before this and Byleth got the movement shoes, which was exceedingly helpful for the entire game.

Ch. 2: Familiar Scenery - this is where the real game starts. The hardest bit of this map is getting through the initial waves of enemies. I brought Lysithea and Marianne for heals and some magic chip if neccessary. Even with healing spells, well, Marianne only has 5 casts atm, so this is where the vulnerary chugging starts. Took a while but not too bad.

Ch. 3: Mutiny in the Mist - I uh, didn’t exactly bother buying torches for this map. Still brought Lysithia (who had heal now) and Marianne (who got physic). I had already accepted the probably inevitability of Cathrine’s squaddies getting bonked (and one did on like turn 2) but after following them across the bottom of the map and then up toward Lonato somehow the other one survived and I got the rewards.

Ch. 4: The Goddess’s Rite of Rebirth - Honestly pretty simple. While this map does have a 25 turn limit the enemies don’t swarm you so I just made my way up the left side with healers in tow and killed the boss. Easy enough. At this point Claude was an archer and thus had better range, but not quite enough speed for Alert Stance to do a whole lot yet.

Midgame (Ch. 6-8, 10, 11)

About the time Alert Stance and Alert Stance+ start to become viable tactics and I don’t need to bring Marianne and Lysithea along to every map. You might notice some skipped chapters. Those get listed as troublesome. At some pont in these I ended up with a Prayer Ring and a Goddess Ring. Both Byleth and Claude had one equipped at basically all times.

Ch. 6: Rumors of a Reaper - I’d list this as troublesome but my failure the first time playing the map was mostly due to me being dumb. I’d forgotten you don’t get your lord this chapter and you have a 25 turn limit to either kill every enemy except the Death Knight (DK) or kill DK. Lemme just say that it is not possible to do either of those things with just Byleth (who was a pegasus knight by this point), at least the way I had played it wasn’t. Lucky me I had both Shamir and Cathrine in my army and because this was the earliest you could get them their stats were enough to take the right side of the map with Lysithea along for heals while Byleth took the right with Marianne for heals. Shamir was well-deserved MVP of this map mostly for sniper range and crits. Took 24 turns to clear.

Ch. 7: Field of the Eagle and Lion - ...I kinda just hung out on the upper edges of enemy ranges on the map and let the other two go at each other? Then once the density decreased a little moving in to start enemy phasing. I’m fairly convinced that as long as you’re the last house standing you win regardless since it definitely didn’t feel like I beat more enemies than the other two. Didn’t really care since I didn’t expect to be using the Blessed Lance that much.

Ch. 8: The Flame in the Darkness - Easy enough. Byleth flew down the right side and Claude took left. Saved all the villagers. Solon actually moves toward DK here so I kinda rushed the end. Ended up with dismounted Byleth in a bush next to Solon waiting and spamming healing while Claude came to bail her out bc she couldn’t one-round Solon.

Ch. 10: Where the Goddess Dwells - More wait spam. Just took a lot of turns thanks to the beasts.

Ch. 11: Throne of Knowledge - Hunter’s Volley’d the Flame Emperor on turn 3 to keep the crest stones safe. The rewards are not worth it, should have killed more stuff for exp.

Endgame (Ch. 15-22)

Yes I skipped a bunch of chapters. Yes there’s a reason for that. At this point builds and class goals are fully achieved and I can basically spam the “Wait” command to win the game. Even with forged training lances and bows. As I got to around this point I stopped exploring as much outside of monthly tea and focused on the extra auxiliary battles for exp and the stat boosters. I’m not gonna chapter-by-chapter break these down because the strat was basically set. Move, wait, repeat until near boss, kill boss. The only exception to this being Grondor 2, where I yet again just let the enemy destroy each other before cleaning up what was left.

Paralogues

These fall into 2 categories: A: Kill boss/perform goal ASAP, or B: slowly kill the entire map while the required but definitely underleveled and useless required units follow you around trying not to die. The approach depends on how easy it is to protect said units. I didn’t complete every paralogue I had access too as I deemed the rewards either not worth the hassle or the map to be basically impossible with my setup.

Rumored Nuptials (Dorothea/Ingrid): Approach B. Byleth was able to zoom over to reinforcement man pretty quickly and then it was a slow slog through the map the scoop up the exp. 66 turns, probably the longest I spent on any map. Got Luin out of it which Byleth could use if I needed some extra oomph.

Land of the Golden Deer (Lorenz): Approach A. Stride + peg knight = turn 1 dead boss. Lysithia get Thrysus and as a result saves my butt later.

Oil and Water (Hanneman & Manuela): Approach B, but with a side of frantic for the first few turns as I raced to take out the enemies nearest Manuela, particularly the peg knights. Not sure the batallions you get are worth doing it but I got exp.

The Forgotten (Sylvain): Approach B after sniping out the speedwing thief. Didn’t care too much about the rest of them. Lance of Ruin goes to Byleth for when nothing else will get the job done.

Tales of the Red Canyon (Sothis): Approach B, except this was mostly Byleth flying around out of the birds’ ranges leaving Claude to basically avo tank solo the entire thing. More Divine Pulse (defo needed) and the knowledge gem which goes to Byleth to have equipped when she doesn’t need the Goddess Ring.

An Ocean View (Seteth and Flayn): Approach B except both Seteth and Flayn are capable of helping out. Seteth has enough stats to not die and Flayn can heal. Spear of Assal gets added to the ever-increasing list of badass weapons Byleth can just whip out of the convoy when needed.

Death Toll (Ignatz and Raphael): Approach A. Takes a few turns to get to get to the boss and a few merchants bit the dust buuut I couldn’t bring myself to care that much.

Sword and Shield of Seiros (Alois and Shamir): Approach A. Hide everyone else in the middle of town and just let Byleth fly over to the boss. Stride helps. Also Lysithia picking off an enemy or two that got too close.

Troublesome (Ch. 5, 9, 12-14)

Welcome to the worst story chapters (imo) to get through while low-manning the game. Divine pulse, divine pulse, divine pulse, restart, divine pulse. Difficult and/or exceedingly annoying either because of additional defeat conditions, green units, or just straight-up enemy mobbing. If you plan on trying to low-man the game keep these chapters in mind because several don’t care how buff your own units are, they will find ways around it.

Ch. 5: Tower of Black Winds - ok this one technically wasn’t so bad I just felt like the strat I ended up using was so dumb it belongs here. Just hang back a little at the start to take care of the reinforcements and you can creep your way forward and snag the treasure chest. About halfway up the right side past the chest and after baiting some of the upper level archers with Claude I noticed that every enemy with a vulnerary decides to charge you. It was here that I gave up on Gilbert and retreated to the only defendable location on the map where I could turtle it out: the chest alcove. Claude took the brunt by Alert Stance avo tanking while dismounted Byleth plinked away with a bow from behind. Problem is I had also brought Marianne and Lysithia, and in order to keep them from getting sniped by archers I had to move them back and forth every other turn or so to get the archers to move either further down the wall to try and get to a position to shoot over it or back toward the slowly decreasing vulnerary mob. It just felt really dumb, ok? Beast Miklan was a piece of cake since he can’t go down the stairs. Claude just out-ranged him.

Ch. 9: The Cause of Sorrow - This chapter wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t felt like I’d gotten screwed over by Jeralt’s AI and RNG. I knew I wasn’t saving all the student but you lose if Jeralt dies (oh the irony) and he kept rushing straight for the other side of the map and getting mobbed by three at once. I basically ended up almost breaking the Blessed Lance this chapter (and I had thought I’d never use the thing, how wrong I was) just to be able to quickly break armor in order for Claude or Lysithia to melt health bars using either Hunter’s Volley or Seraphim (sometimes I’d use Seraphim to armor break and Byleth to melt health). Marianne with Physic kept Jeralt going despite his best efforts.

Ch. 12: To War - Also technically not the worst but even with Claude reaching Edelgard in about 5 turns it was nerve-wracking and frustrating trying to keep the enemy away from the defend tiles. Lysithia, Marianne, and Seteth get to join in to assist in this but they also add the extra layer of making sure they’re out of enemy range come enemy phase. DK’s advance does not help this.

Ch. 13: Reunion at Dawn - screw this chapter pt 1. :) On maddening this map is absolutely filled with snipers and gambit spam. So much so that even dismounting both Claude and Byleth is bushes next to each other didn’t keep them alive. On top of that even if that did work this condemns the rest of the students to death and I wanted to at least keep Lysithia alive. Thankfully, she spawns with the group in the safest corner. I ended up moving my duo north, dealing with the small group of enemies there then moving east across the top of the map. I’d gotten Leonie on a pegasus so she was able to fly up and join the safe corner and follow them along with Lorenz and Ignatz. I don’t think there was any way I was getting Hilda out of that so she got taken out. After joining up with Lysithia’s group I was able to fly over the wall with Claude, take out Pallardo 1, use stride on Byleth and fly to the south side of the map to take out Pallardo 2 on the same turn.

Ch. 14: The Alliance Leader’s Ambitions - screw this chapter pt 2. :)) Ah yes, a defend map with 4 tiles to defend and I have 2.5 trained units. No one really threatens the far right tile after turn 1 so more like 3 tiles but you get the point. If this map were defeat commander the entire time this wouldn’t be a problem, since with the powers of stride and warp I could (and did the first time just to try it) get Claude to the bottom of the map and defeat Randolph on turn 1. When that didn’t work, I took out Marianne and Lysithia and just tried to have Claude aggro as many enemies as possible as far away from the defend point as possible but there was always one paladin or so who slipped past, or the falcon knight reinforcements would just breeze past him. It was also still entirely possible for Claude to get hit at this point despite AS+ and die. I eventually decided I would have to find a way to last long enough to escort the greenie down to the fire trap and trigger the enemy retreat. Byleth was perfectly capable of doing this without issue, the problem was defending the 3 tiles for long enough to get him there. I ended up deploying Lysithia again and thanks the Thrysus, Dark Spikes, and Ashes and Dust I was able to finally defend the tiles long enough to trigger the fire trap and easily beat the map from there. If you can get past this chapter you’re probably fine for the rest of the game.