#i just know you get them fuckers in a room and the decibel level goes up into the hundreds

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS BEING CHARMING

scout: scout is a tryhard; which makes it very difficult for him to come off as charming in an effortless sense. he’s particularly charming when he drops that facade. a hand on the back of his head, an inability to meet your eyes, a nervous laugh and a crooked smile… he’s a cutie then.

soldier: opposite of scout; soldier is at his most charming when he tries his absolute hardest to be charming. he’s gotta make that effort to be gentlemanly, because you get what he’s advertising, so if he’s giving the effort it’s a genuine act. it’s what makes him endearing. and any favorable inclination towards him will carry his efforts to the finish line.

pyro: pyro isn’t charming unless they’re on your side. before then they’re a faceless sight with many unsettling actions under their belt. if you know them, though, it’s a lot easier to see when they’re joking and— more importantly— know when they’re about to take a joke “too far”. but in their lightheartedness they are fairly charming in their own sense

engineer: engie is only charming because he wears goggles all the time. it is much easier to hide what he’s thinking when all he has to do is smile and smooth talk. when his goggles are off, you can read him easier; and it’s easier to determine whether you should be taking what he’s saying at face value or not. without that, though, it’s hard to not at least be flattered by the texan, who can and will insult you and make it sound like a compliment.

heavy: heavy doesn’t try often to come across as charming. he does not need to. and he doesn’t need to because he is charming in his most candid moments. in times where he’s listening to what’s going on around him and makes humorous remarks that will stop whoever hears him, never failing to get a smile or a snort of shock. he’s charming when his face lights up as he gets a joke. when he’s caring for sascha tenderly and you think “damn what i wouldn’t give to be a gun rn” he’s funny, with a generous sense of humor and a quicker wit than people would think, and most people don’t know that until he enters a battle of wits and wins.

demo: demo is a silver tongued devil who will charm the clothes off someone in minutes… when he’s sober. even then, you can’t escape his natural effervescence. he’s a good hearted man with a need to laugh, and isn’t afraid to make the joke himself to get the energy up in a room. his confidence is infectious, and will naturally open you up to him. his charm lies in making every offer and idea sound like good ones, being just as shocked as you when things go awry, and laughing it off just as quickly. being a silver tongued devil also required experience in yapping, so if you let him talk long enough he’ll hook you on his stories alone. he’s got a wonderful way with words.

medic: like pyro, medic isn’t charming unless he’s on your side. until then, he’s a disturbing man with bright blue eyes and many unsettling things to say. past that, doc is a professional yapper. if you don’t like listening to multi hours long podcasts consisting of one person, you will probably never like medic. but if you like a chatterbox, then there will be times where medic will have gone on a tangent of a tangent, and as you watch his eyes gleam with newfound knowledge to dump on you, and his teeth bare in a crazed, no, excited smile, as he makes unyielding eye contact behind his glasses, waiting with baited breath for your response… you can’t help but notice how someone could find him charming, even cute. though, also like pyro, but worse, you will never know when he is going to take a joke too far, or when a bad idea will become a series of bad decisions. when everything he says comes with a large, bordering animalistic smile… he’s at his best when he’s yapping, truly.

sniper: sniper is at his most charming when he’s most comfortable, and he’s most comfortable at work. there’s a reason his standards begin with “be polite”. he’s got a reputation for being a good natured guy with efficient and effective methods of a necessary service, and days on the job with him are usually filled with quiet chuckles and smart ass remarks under his breath. but it’s not shit talking if he’s hitting the targets. and it’s the cockiness that makes him come off as charming. it’s another sense of an inverse of scout, as to where scout can talk the shit and back it up, because he’s just cocky in general it can never come off as charming; meanwhile sniper, who goes out of his way to be professional in his job and generally doesn’t interact with people by choice past that, the confidence and results that come with the confidence are charming. everyone loves a man who can get the job done.

spy: spy is effortlessly charming. he doesn’t need to do anything to make himself more charming, and when he does try it’s annoying to anyone involved. why would he go out of his way to get someone flowers, or butter someone up in compliments, when he can smile and smoke his cigarette. he’s a handsome guy with a nice accent; the less he plays it up the better it works for him, because when he tries too hard it does come off as a scam. however. there is a time. a time where spy gets drunk. and turns into a professional yapper. he, medic, and demo turn into hens with how much they chirp and crow and gasp and screech laughter, and in these moments of decomposure… what a cutie. really. where he’s not thinking about being professional and it’s him and his “friends” chatting over a beer…. or two… or five. and with demo’s effortless ability to make any idea sound like a good idea, he’s been on the unfortunate side of a scandal before. but even as he plays angry and bitter; you see the smile he’s fighting. and when he and his gal pals get to hanging around again…. they can’t contain their chuckles. he’s even more charming then. when he’s done playing professional.