#i just hope I get to see evan by the end of it

[princessamericachavez]

like yes yes eddie needs to choose and buck needs to be chosen but also 

Eddie needs to get over the very big trauma of losing his wife. Last time he dated someone he had literal panic attacks at the thought of her being mistaken for Chris’s mother and as much as we saw him work through in therapy we never?? really?? talked?? about?? that?? So, yeah, Eddie needs to realize that he’s at a point where he’s ready to risk his heart and give love a second chance 

(and maybe realize he already did becase there already is a partner in his life who gets consistently confused for Chris’s guardian and it feels natural to him?? but he still needs to realize he’s ready for love)

And Buck needs to be ready to be in a relationship where he’s loved for who he is, where he doesn’t bend and twist to fit someone else’s expectations. And for that Buck needed to die, and needed to come back, and now he needs to process that trauma and steady himself. 

(and Buck loves so quickly, so openly, so loudly, and he gives so much of himself and he wants to be loved that way, and maybe he’ll realize that he already?? is?? loved?? but he needs to let himself accept it)

so basically, it’s not only a matter of choice... eddie needs to be ready to love and buck needs to accept that he is loved if they are ever going to find each other properly together

and that, my funny little friends, is the point of their arcs were we are at right now

[pxrxmoore]

idk i feel like there’s maybe a lot of pressure on the idea that buck is choosing the wrong couch again or once again getting someone to pick it for him. but for me it’s like he’s accepted he can choose this time. he’s given himself the freedom of that and he’s inviting natalia along because he’s comfortable and happy rather than them being so intertwined it’s now “their” couch. he’s in a happier place where he’s finally choosing something for himself and not because it came with a gf or his parents were trying to beg for forgiveness lol

[targaryenluvs]

HARD TIMES / EVAN BUCKLEY

PAIRING: Evan Buckley x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Whilst waiting for his appointment, Evan abstains from sexual encounters. Which is a bit hard whilst simultaneously having a crush on the girl from the coffee shop.

WARNINGS: Fluff, sex mentions, teasing, makeouts & sexual depictions

WORDCOUNT: 2.5K Words

A/N: I’m actually in love with this idea 😂 May or may not have made Buck a whiner 👀 As per usual, @megalony for giving me the inspo to finish this off - check out her Buck fic!!

Gif not mine, credits to the owner!

He was cursed, indefinitely.

Getting rescheduled, running out of gas, random remodels galore. It seems as if someone was against him finally making his donation. But the waiting wasn’t the worst part, the no sex rule was major. Why on Earth had he stuck with it? Evan assumed it wouldn’t be too difficult, which it wasn’t.

Until he met you.

It was the fourth day of waiting and he’d changed his usual coffee place ever since they randomly only served skim milk. And he was happy to make the change, since his new place was actually three minutes closer as well as better. Ever since he saw you, he’d found himself ordering more than needed, adding a muffin or two, or ordering for the crew.

Anything that let him stare at you for a little while longer. You were always on time, every morning you showed up, ordered the same thing with the occasional additional treat. A smile on your face and always equipped with a kind compliment.

But Buck surprisingly couldn’t find it in himself to approach you. Whether he was too scared of embarrassing himself or he just liked staring. He found himself second guessing his actions at every turn. It wasn’t until you came in minus a smile that he worked up the courage to interact with you.

You were currently sitting outside, gazing at the oncoming traffic and people going about their day. The cup in your hands taking the brunt end of your restlessness as you tapped your fingers. The hand waving in your face brought you back, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Did you need something?” The man in front of you grinned, “Uh no, not really. I just- well you were…” He pointed out to the traffic before pointing at you again.

“Would you like to sit? Maybe it’d help you get your words together.” You joked as he laughed before pulling his respective chair, “Thanks, I’m Evan. But people call me Buck, whatever works for you.” You reached your hand out, “Y/n, nice to meet you Evan.”

Evan smiled before revealing the brown bag, “I uhm, well you looked like you were a bit down, so I ordered you a pastry. Thought it’d cheer you up.” Your regular pastry sat inside the bag, waiting for you to eat it, “Oh! You really didn’t have to, that’s so nice of you.” He waved his hand, brushing off your words, “It’s nothing really, just enjoy it.” You wanted to ask how he knew, but figured there was no point in it.

And the two of you talked for almost an hour afterwards, slowly getting to know each other better. The pair of you were quick friends to your surprise. And your relationship only grew afterwards, regularly catching up in the mornings over coffee. Which then turned to lunch together during his off day, and then dinner.

You knew it was quick, but you couldn’t help yourself, you really did like Evan. It was unbelievably easy to talk to him, he was such a warm person. And Evan sure as hell liked you. Every day he found it easier to get out of bed, overly eager to get to see your face and hear your voice. God, he could listen to you for hours.

He’d never really clicked so easily with someone, and he was grateful for it. It’d been a while since Taylor, it was refreshing to talk to someone and not just for a night. He found himself checking his phone every few minutes, hoping for a reply from you.

And everyone else noticed.

“What’s got you so happy Buckley?” Chimney asked from the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee. Hen glanced over to find Buck smiling down at his phone, “Nothing, just looking at photos.” Hen circled back to him, sitting down across from him as she surveyed his body language. You and Evan had been out last night at a movie, and you’d both posed in the cardboard cutouts.

The photo he was looking at had you as a bodybuilder and him in a dress he looked “absolutely stunning in”, according to you.

“It’s like your face is permanently smiling. Please tell me it’s not frozen.” She poked his cheek before he swatted it away, “Can I not just be happy?” Chimney shrugged before settling down next to Hen, “You can be happy, as long as you tell us what, or who, has you feeling this way.” Bobby came towards the trio, Eddie in tow, “Who’s feeling what?” Hen chuckled, “Seems we’ve got a smitten Buckley in the house. We’re trying to figure out who’s making him happy.”

Buck rolled his eyes before getting up, “It’s really not that big of a deal guys, cmon.” Bobby shook his head, “Yes it is, someone’s in love.” The group laughed as Evan shook his head, “Not you too, I thought you were sensible.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I am extremely sensible, and curious. What’s their name?”

“Her names Y/n, and that’s all you get to know for now. Damn vultures.”

“Don’t make me circle back for you Buckley!” Hen shouted out as Evan made his way down, what he didn’t expect was for you to be waiting for him. “Y/n?” You turned swiftly to meet his eye, “Hey Buck, you called me?” His eyebrows furrowed, “It must’ve been an accident, I’m sorry. But you didn’t have to come here.”

He was thoroughly impressed, did a phone call from him warrant a visit? Not that he was complaining. You looked even more gorgeous than usual, and you smelled—

“Yeah but we were supposed to meet for lunch, and you didn’t reply, I only got a call.” His eyes widened in realisation, he’d forgotten your date. Was it a date? Did you think it was a date? Is that why you were wearing a dress? You said you usually only wear them for special occasions or people. Was he a special person?

“I’m so so sorry, it must’ve slipped my mind. We just came back from a run. We can go now for sure.” Your smile spread as he spoke, “Is something funny? Please tell me I don’t have sauce on my face.” Your laughter filled the air, did you know that your eyes creased when you giggled? Your nose also scrunched, god you were cute.

His eyes trailed up to the balcony, where his entire team stood staring before straightening up, “Mhm, the top of the trucks are so pretty. Probably shiny too.” The random topics of conversation were more than enough to alert Evan to the eavesdropping taking place. “Guess you might as well meet those idiots.” You smiled, “Lead the way Firefighter Buckley.”

“Oh! You are brilliant!” Chimney exclaimed as the rest of the group laughed uncontrollably. Buck sat with his arms crossed, “It’s not even that funny!” You couldn’t help but pat his bicep, “Of course you don’t think it is!” You leaned into him as you giggled, practically pushing your chest into his arm.

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.

Evan’s eyes were staring right into Eddies soul, as Eddies laughter died down, “You okay?” He mouthed as the man across him from blinked rapidly before nodding. Eddies eyes trailed to you, and your low cut dress before returning to Buck. Oh, oh! Eddie smiled, “That’s a really lovely dress Y/n/n.” Evan’s eyes narrowed, wishing a few horrible accidents upon Eddie.

Murmurs of agreement broke out from everyone else, “It really is, what do you think Buck?” Evan’s lips drew into a tight line, “Oh, yeah. Definitely, they look good in it. I mean— you look amazing. Really good today. Not that you don’t usually, you always look so good. And smell! Not that I smell you, you smell. Good! You smell good.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he stumbled his way through his monologue, “Good to know Buck, good to know.” You promptly turned to Bobby, “Yknow Evan never shuts up about your cooking, would I ever be so lucky to experience it for myself?”

Buck zoned out of the current conversation, replaying his epic fail in his head.The tightening of his pants had him shifting around uncomfortably, and Eddies grin aimed his way was getting to him.

He was going to kill Eddie.

Dinner that night was probably amongst one of the best dates he’d ever had. And he had asked you before you went out whether or not it was a date, repeatedly. But it was also a test of strength. You’d decided to wear a gorgeous dress, designed to test his patience.

And as if that wasn’t enough, he’d made the stupid mistake of inviting you back to his apartment.

Which, A) Gave the impression that something was going to happen.

B) Maybe made you think that he thought you were the type of girl to put out easily.

And Evan never wanted you to think that.

With a few glasses of wine, sweet music and amazing company you were bound to end up on his bed. Evan’s hands were soft yet controlling, lifting you up onto his lap to straddle him. “God you’re gorgeous.” He murmured into your neck as you giggled, “Is that so?” He smiled up at you as your arms locked around his neck, “Definitely.”

“Then we should settle in for the night, no?”

Evan wanted to curse his own mind for reminding him, maybe he could make the deposit another time, right? He knew it was wrong to think this way, but how could he stop himself from going all the way with you on top of him? “Dammit, I am so sorry. But I can’t.” Your swiftly lifted yourself off his lap, settling down next to him.

“Hey that’s fine, you’re not being forced into anything Buck.” Evan groaned as he leaned in to capture your lips again, “You are so annoyingly understanding. And I love that about you, it’s one of the many things I love. Including this gorgeous lace.” He joked as he traced the strap of your bra. “Oh hush, what’s going on?”

“Promise you won’t freak out?”

“Promise.” You smiled before grabbing his hands, with wide eyes filled with curiosity staring up at him, he couldn’t help but feel the pressure. “An old friend asked me to be a sperm donor, and before making my donation, I thought it best to uh…” You raised an eyebrow as Evan struggled to find the right words, “To keep my swimmers in the tank, if you catch my drift.”

“I catch your drift, or is it a flow?” Evan rolled his eyes as you raised yourself to kiss his cheek, “I fully understand, you don’t have to be sorry. I think what you’re doing is absolutely amazing Evan, helping to start a family? That’s really sweet of you, but it must’ve been a hard decision.”

And that’s what the loved about you. Your willingness to listen, to wait and understand what you were being told. Most girls Buck had been with had never really seen everything about him, nor understood him. With you felt truly seen, and heard. Never judged. And you were breathtakingly beautiful, which was a nice bonus.

“It was.” He watched as you grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, “If i’m half naked, so are you. Now let’s sit and talk, when did you decide to help them out?”

For the rest of the night, the two of you simply laid in bed and cuddled, looking up at each other. Whilst you talked, Evan found his eyes trailing down your body. The two of you were in your underwear, and you your bra. With you practically ontop of him he found an intruder settling in.

“What is that?” You whined from underneath the covers, “Uh, maybe it’s my phone?” Evan rationalised as you stared at him, “Unless I stole someone’s phone and put it on charge, I don’t think it’s a phone.” Evan tried to stop you before you raised the covers, “Oh.”

“Well hello there.” The pillow was swept from underneath you as Evan buried his face in it, “Don’t,” Your laughter made his heart beat faster, and your hand which circled his crotch made him buck his hips upwards. “Oh god, please don’t.”

“Don’t… what?” Evan buried his head into your shoulder as you continued to tease him, it was the funniest thing you’d seen all day. And a helpless Buck was a fun one. “I like hearing you beg.” He slammed the pillow down onto his lap, “Y—you can’t say things like that!” His cheeks were turning red, whether it was embarrassment from his stutter or your hands, you liked it.

“Sure I can, just did. And you want to know something Evan?”

“Not really.”

“Indulge me,”

“Okay.” Evan gave in as you leaned into his ear, “I don’t sleep well with anything on.” You quickly kissed him before unclasping your bra, throwing your undergarments onto the floor and settling back in.

“Goodnight baby.” You smiled before turning off the lamp.

It was going to be a long night. Evan sat in the dark for about an hour before his situation calmed down, if he was sure of one thing? You were going to be the death of Evan Buckley.

It was donation day, finally.

Evan was practically bouncing off the walls after his shift, zooming down to the clinic before another mishap ruined his donation day. And luckily for him, he was given a cylinder and a few magazines before being sent on his way. His fingers drummed against the wheel of his jeep, he was having a good day.

The only thing better? His date with you tonight. What he hadn’t expected was to come home to candles, rose petals and his favourite girl happily sleeping in bed.

“Uhh, Y/n?” You sat up straight away in bed, “Evan! You’re back!” He walked up the stairs before setting his phone and keys down, “Whoa, you look…” You were wearing one of your favourite sets, and a new favourite of Evan’s, it didn’t exactly leave a lot to the imagination.

And he’d seen more than enough of you.

“Oh god, you look so good.”

“Well you’re extremely lucky, this is all for you. Almost five weeks, you did so well Evan.”

“I did well?”

“Yes you did, and you know what?” Evan shook his head rapidly, he was itching to touch you, “I cleared the day tomorrow for you and me, we can stay here as long as you’d like.” Evan felt weak in the knees, “Oh I love you. Now can I please throw you into bed?” You giggled before wrapping your arms around his neck.

“You can do whatever you’d like, Firefighter Buckley.”

“Oh, Firefighter Buckley?” Evan pushed you down to the bed before climbing over you, “Mhm.” His hands lifted your gown slowly, stroking the soft skin, “Now I really want to see you in my coat.”

“Oh? What, with your name on the back? All yours aren’t I?”

“That you are. You’re not gonna be walking for a few days.” Evan teased as he planted kisses along your neck, you raked your hands through his soft hair, “I’m definitely not complaining.”

Hard times have good outcomes, or something like that.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑀𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑡 𝐼𝑛 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑒

A/N: This is definetly not me projecting my love for cats and Regulus. Also, if anyone is interested in documentaries, I recommend you watching "Inside of a cat's mind". It was really interesting, and also a seratonin boost for me.

A/N: I feel like this sucks but I couldn't think of another way to end this, I hope you guys like it!

Prompts used: "I love her so bad" from this, "you are my favourite, you always have been." from this.

"That's downright ridiculous..."

"Oh, come on, Reggie! What better way than this to show your lover your new animagus form?"

Regulus swinged his tail back and forth angrily as he laid on his mattress on his front legs, even rolling his eyes at his dumb friends as they continued to tease him with his brand-new look. It wasn't like he could talk in that form, but he was so goddamn sure that his eyes gave his thoughts away. What started this conversation and the endless teasing from his friends was that Regulus could now transform into his Animagus form.

Which was a black cat. A cute and cuddly one, as Pandora said while scratching his ears as Barty and Evan made fun of him for being soft. He hissed at them loudly, showing his sharp claws as a silent threat as he nuzzled closer to the sweater under his paws, full of your smell and perfume as a little happy smile found his face, watching Pandora who had been petting him as she chastised the other two in the room.

But it did nothing to help.

Since when it did anyways? Nothing could stop those idiots...

Barty and Evan let out a bark as they rolled on their bed, Barty crouching down with his hands on his knees in front of Pandora who had been sitting down on the ground, shaking her head for him not to do anything that would anger Regulus.

But, as usual, Barty didn't care, and dramatically wiped a fake tear from his eye as he offered his forefinger to Regulus, who had been eyeing him with bored eyes and an evil plan, wondering if it was obvious on his cat face as he imagined the delight he would feel.

"Awww, look at our little Reggie! So angry and deadly, with his little claws and teeth~ You are so soft now, so cuddly that I can just-AHHH!"

But of course, Regulus' personality didn't change just because he turned into a cat and since everyone practically knew not to call him that name... Well, except for his lovely lover you, and Barty still did it...

It was only fair for him to bite his finger and claw at his face.

"And that's what happens when you mess with Regulus, Barty. He is still the same friend we have that absolutely hates to be teased and that's what you get..." Pandora sighed out as she rose up, passing by them in the common room as she got out. She didn't care about the screaming behind her, Evan cackling on the ground about "how Barty got bitten by a kitten" while the boy tried to convince him that "it was a literal cheetah that bit him and not a kitten" as if his cooings and awes weren't the reason behind that cat's anger.

Well, he warned him that he didn't like that nickname so he had it coming, right?

Regulus nuzzled deeper into Pandora's arms as the young girl giggled, smiling to herself at seeing her friend happy as he always was whenever he had that special clothing close to him. "Don't worry, Regulus... I know Y/N is in the Great Hall, preparing you food again. So, I'll take you to your precious lover~"

And if his face couldn't show the possible blush on his face and how comedically wide his eyes were, the way he jumped up and kneaded your sweater that he found in his room after stealing it definetly did the job.

His heart beated harder at the thought of seeing you, preparing him a plate with a cute frown and possibly cursing at him for not caring about his health as you made little talk with your friends here and there...

He always knew he was one hell of a lucky guy for finding someone like you. So caring and loving and supporting...

All his life, Regulus never had known love or care. At least not from his mother and her twisted way of showing love and his father's abuse. All he had, for the longest time, was his brother and even then, he never thought he could have more, deserved more.

More of that love and affection he craved.

So, after pinning after you since the firs year, he finally had the courage of asking you out... Even if he didn't want to think back to that day because of the high stuttering of his, a sign of how nervous he was and how important you were to him.

Because that mother and father of his might have failed at showing what true love means, he had plenty of times to secretly read all about romantic books and witness it with his own mind and heart. He often thought that they weren't real, that the author went overboard with all the struggles and fights the main characters went through for the love they shared with each other, strong enough to stand against every strong wind, army or even death.

He questioned whether love was worth it all, when he wanted something serene and comforting. He was done with all the fights anyways, he didn't want any of those any more.

He deserved that at least, right?

But soon, he realized that not everyone is like his parents. Not every relationship is disasterous with the fights and disagreements... They are what makes it stronger and more powerful, with every hardship that comes.

He learnt that without those waves and little obstacles in the way, the comforting relationship and tender love he desperately needed would never be his.

So, he gulped down his worries and confessed his love to you, in one of the many times that you two hung out in the Astronomy Tower. By that time, you were already aware of his feelings by the way he was so soft with you and actually seeked to spend more time with you throughout your days together.

Besides, you were sure Regulus didn't spend his time taking girls to watch stars as he rambled about each of them while subconsciously holding your hand.

But then... Another problem arose: Showing his affections, a basic need of a relationship in his eyes.

Because, as any sane person could tell, Regulus didn't have the healthiest of relationship with his parents even though he knew what they... had between each other was far from love. He knew he would never dare, and rather kill himself, to do any of the things they did to each other to you. He knew he wanted to hold you, kiss you, openly show his love, the way his eyes shone brighter at the sight of you as you skipped to him was enough of a sign...

But he knew he wouldn't be able to bear all the teasing his friends and his brother, with whom he recently fixed his relationship, would do.

And he hated himself for thinking like that, doing the exact opposite of what he wanted to do when you didn't deserve it at all. He didn't want you to think that he was ashamed of you, which you never did and gold him that it was fine he didn't declare his love out all the time like a certain older brother of his and knew he loved you through his actions...

But it wasn't enough for him, it wasn't enough for the voices in his mind to stop.

You deserved a man who wouldn't shy away, who didn't have severe issues with himself. Someone who wasn't the item of a fucked up ideology... Someone who would be proud and confident in both himself and you, slinging an arm around you while walking and give you anything you asked for.

Perhaps a free future... Away, in a cottage with some animals...

But he was a selfish man who wanted to be that person, to be the reason of your smile and happiness every day. He just... had to find a way to show all of these thoughts and feelings.

But he was bad at it... So, why not get the help of a cute animal to see what you exactly like? And show his feelings?

"I swear to Merlin, I will strangle that boy when I see him! He disappears all the time, without eating! Who does he think he is?" You angrily turned to your friend who was eating her fries as she stopped her hand mid-air and looked at you with her eyes and mouth wide open. "What? Who?"

"Regulus, of course! That boy will give me a heart attack at one point, the other day I found him literally choking Barty because of that nickname again!" You angrily scoffed as you dumped more food like an angry mother, but your friend only laughed because of the twitch of your lips upwards.

"Yeah, but you love him and his special treatment, no?" She wiggled her brows as she continued to eat and you sighed out in bliss, a loving and stupid smile plastering on your face.

And yes, yes you loved him and his stupid grin whenever he teased you and his sweet smile as he watched you do your own thing.

But it wasn't enough of a reason to not to scold him when you see him as soon as possible.

"Maybe. And yes, I very much so am in love with him but I'll strangle him anyways... He promised to not pick up fights and take care of himself better- Oh, hi Pandora!"

You turned fast to where the bubbly girl was coming to your way, excitedly waving at her when your eyes landed on... the cutest ball of sunshine on her arms.

"Hi, Y/N! I see that you are... agitated?" She snorted to herself as she saw how you changed your mood at the sight of the cat between her arms as you nodded absentmindedly to her, waving off her question while scratching the little cat's chin with a stupid smile on your face. It was a known fact around the school how weak you were to them, and also your boyfriend.

With you both being smitten with each other, y'know?

Unknown to you though, that cat was the boy you loved, and he was soaking all the love in like a sponge. He was grinning from ear to ear, as much as a cat would be able to do, and he jumped down from where he was seated between Pandora's arms and flunged himself up towards your legs, pawing at them to make you cuddle him.

Patheatic, his inner voice said but he answered with I love her so bad....

"Well, it seems that our friend loves you very much!" She wiggled her brows playfully as you giggled, not aware of the daggers the cat, Regulus, was giving to your dear friend. Pandora didn't care though, she knew he never meant any of those stares and besides, that was exactly the moment for her to leave him with you so that he could get his head out of his arse and see how much you loved him and didn't care if he showed his love around people or not.

Because, by the state he was in, he didn't know shit about the extend of your love for him.

"Then, I will leave you with him! Don't worry he is very docile and easygoing, I'm sure you two will get along well! Goodbye!"

"Wait, Pandora- Wow, she left so soon..." you mumbled in thought as you looked down at the cat still pawing at your legs with wide blue eyes, his pupils almost so big that his eyes couldn't be seen as he meowed softly to you.

"Aww, don't worry I won't leave you! But I was going to visit my careless boyfriend who forgot to eat, again..." you kneeled on the ground with a playful scowl as you took him between your arms, cooing at the loud purr he let out as he nuzzled deeper in you. "I think he will like you too, what do you say? Hmm?"

Yeah, love, considering the fact that it's me... I think I will like myself enough...

Throughout the walk to your boyfriend's dorm, you kept the same big smile on your face as you kept looking down at the cat and squeezed his cheeks with your fingers. Cuteness agression is really something, you thought as he looked around the familiar sight of the door to his house's common room. He started to whine and get angsty a little bit, not wanting this "cuddle session" to come to an end.

"Don't worry, little one! I'm not leaving, I will sit here until Reg comes back and probably beg him to let me have you all to myself..."

He meowed in response, wincing under his breath at how this was the only way to communicate with you. Love, you already has that cat to yourself...

You smiled softly as the cat sniffed Regulus' bed and jumped on it, circling around himself until he found a good position and stared at you expectantly. You smiled back at the cat and turned your back to him to set the food down on his desk. Suddenly staring at the dark sky outside and seeing how long has it been that you last saw Regulus, you sighed sadly, wondering when he will be back and whether you should get out of his dorm before his friends arrived or not.

Sensing your sudden sadness, Regulus immediately jumped up and meowed at you hurriedly. Even as a cat, he was weak for your sadness and immediately alerted.

"Hmm? Oh nothing, little guy... Just wondering when my boyfriend will come and finally start to take care of himself." You laughed when he hissed softly and almost seemed like he was pointing at the bed. "You want me to lay down?"

A barely-there nod.

"Okay... I think I can use some rest. Scoot over..." you shuffled on the bed as its silky feeling engulfed you, resulting with you letting out a relieved sigh as the cat purred happily over your chest. You trailed a soft finger down his spine and up towards his face, your hand patting him while holding him as if he was a baby.

And he freaking loved it, loved the feeling of safety of your arms.

And obviously, when cats were happy, they purred loudly.

"Hmm? Oh, you like me? I like you too, little guy! You're so cute and so elegant with your black fur and shiny, blue eyes." Regulus purred even more loudly as he nestled on your chest, bumping his head to your chin, and neck as a way of marking you. You giggled at the cat, actually your possessive boyfriend, and continued to play with the playful cat as he made several cute moves with his body and eyes.

His behaviour surprised you, since you thought black cats were mostly grumpy and "I show affection ONLY when I want to, human." kind of animals. But this one....

This one didn't even leave your side for the whole day and instead laid on your lap, purring at every chance he had. Somewhere in a muggle book, you remembered reading that a cat's purring often touches the paternal part in one's brain and that's why humans care for them a lot.

Which was goddamn right, even if it was the same frequency of a baby crying. But though a baby's cry was often irritating with its high pitch, a cat's purr was comforting.

Another reason to convince Regulus to adopt kittens for when you left the school, and settled in an apartment as soon as possible.

"And you remind me of someone I reaaally love, y'know? I'm sure he would like to have you... Don't tell him this, but you are now my favourite thing in the world!"

Wait... Wait, wait, wait! What? That was so offensive! A cat, who you knew for a few hours, took your favourite place?!

"Meowwww!"

Nope, he couldn't let it happen! The plan wasn't even this!

"Hmm? What's wrong, did I say something bad?" You wondered as the cat you adored suddenly turned pissy, throwing what you assumed as "cat tantrums" after whatever you said that triggered him. Regulus, though, started to pace around the bed nervously. You tilted your head in confusion as the cat he jumped up and tugged on your robes to make you get up.

Yeah, cats definetly have God-complex...

"Okay, okay, fine! I'm up, I seriously don't know what... is... wrong..." your jaw hung open with your eyes wide when the black cat you adored and showed immense love to was... None other than your boyfriend.

"Regulus?"

"Hi, love..." he shyly looked at you as his hand caressed his face tiredly, tugging on the skin as he grumbled at the stinging pain on his back while trying to relieve himself from the pain. "Damn it, my spine hurts..."

"What... I don't understand, you have been the cat?! All this time?" You pointed to him with your hands in surprise, still not believing that the cat was your boyfriend who apparently learnt to become an animagus.

"Yeah, I was the cat..."

"But... why? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of you for achieving becoming an animagus," he smiled softly at how you didn't miss the opportunity of praising him for his accomplishment, and he couldn't help but wonder at how easy it was for you to see past the fact that he hid something from you. He expected you to be angry for hiding it, but you were just... confused?

Why?

"But why did you hide it? I mean, it's a pretty big deal and your cat form was so beatiful with your little paws, soft fur and big eyes- I'm starting to loose the point of the talk, so please... explain."

He laughed when you finished your rant with a blushing face, looking at him with a flustered face as you waited. He knew you wouldn't judge, Merlin knew you never did, so he sat down on his bed and patted the area next to him.

"Because... I didn't know what else to do to show you." You continued to look at him confused for a second, occasionally side eyeing the room as if a clue would suddenly appear and lighten whatever that was going on right now.

"Well, it's only logical to show me rather than throwing random bottles on the ground... But I think you don't mean you, being a liquid-"

"Cats are not liquid, love..." Regulus sighed lovingly as you knitted your brows and playfully shook your head before laying a kiss on his cheek. "No, they are! They fit into anything possible even an asymetrical glass box!"

"When did you see a cat do that?"

"My sibling's cat... Though it could be because it is weird..."

He laughed as you seriously started to wonder whether what you said about the cat was true or not, and pulled you to himself by your shoulders. He was grateful you changed the subject after noticing he was slightly uncomfortable but...

He had to be honest after spending the whole day with you, and seeing what Pandora said about you and how much stronger your love was for him.

Because he finally knew, he didn't have to be a cat spy to show you his love.

"As much as my heart feels like it could explode with love from you noticing I was uncomfortable and tried to change the subject," you smiled bashfully as you blinked your eyes at him, not stopping him. He sighed once before keep going. " I did it to show you... how much I love you and show my affection in the only way I knew."

You would have cut him in the middle but by the slight wavering of his voice, you knew that it was something he had to get off of himself... That this conversation was important for him in every way possible.

So you listened... And with every word passing his lips, your eyes softened for the fragile and soft-hearted boy next to you.

"I never knew love, I never knew how to love and show it freely. Mom and dad saw it as a weakness, others saw it as some inconvenience... Sirius was the only one I have, and even then, he was the one expressing his feelings freely. Not me. I always did it silently... Taking care of Sirius' injuries after mother punished him or dad beat him. I did it by stealing his favourites from the kitchen or learning how to make them when my parents weren't home...."

A deep sigh, one that told many unsaid stories and feelings.

" Then I showed it with taking notes for my friends when they weren't able to attend classes. I showed it by taking care of their many injuries that definetly weren’t a result of training but rather... abuse. Merlin knows, I know those kind of bruises like the back of my hand. Then... But then, you came along with your shining eyes and wide smile, asking if you could sit with me in the train and suddenly... I-I wanted to be more. For you. I wanted to be enough of a man to deserve your love and show it to the whole world. Like my brother who openly hugged people, and kissed their cheeks or nuzzled to them... But soon, I was reminded that I would always be his shadow."

Silence scretchted between you as you continued looking at him, not being sure what to do now that he suddenly opened up about why he was avoiding you. You definetly didn't think your night would end up like this, even if him opening up to you was everything you wanted, but you would never be able to know that feeling.

Feeling like someone's shadow, having to endure what Regulus endured... Something he was grateful that never happened and would never happen now that you were with him.

You wouldn’t understand any of it, but you could be there for him now that he wouldn't be alone.

"You once asked me... 'Do you ever hide who you trully are?' at the side of the Black Lake in one of our nightly dates. I kept my silence then, didn't want to scare you off with my strong feelings since it was still too early but not for me who loved you for 2 year prior to that night, but... I never did, not with you, never with you. But... I never felt enough for you. I mean... How could someone as amazing as you would deserve the love of some coward? Someone who feared showing love?" He almost spitted the word "fear" as he shook his head in near disbelief at himself and how "ridiculous" he sounded, and you hated how much self-loathing he had and how easy it was for him to point that hatred to himself.

You had to change it, maybe not immediately but definetly in time.

"Regulus..." you softly rubbed his hand softly to make him look at you, and when he turned his head towards you... You saw the tears pooling in his ocean eyes. Your heart dropped to your stomach harshly as you gulped and brought his forehead down to meet yours. A silent move to convey your feelings to him.

"How could you not be enough of something you already have, from the very beginning?" You rubbed his cheek softly, bringing his face closer to yours as you kissed his eye-lids. As if you were scared to hurt him even more, when what all the world had been doing to him was hurting him.

Regulus shuddered as a shaky breath left him, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of your words. He lifted his eyes, looked into your own that showed only one thing and only for him: Love.

"You are enough, even if you don't think so and I love you, I loved you from the beginning." A gasp left him as his hands thightened their hold on yours nervously. You laughed awkwardly. " You don't have to say it immediately but... Please, don't be so harsh on yourself. It's okay to not want to do PDA, I already told you.... All I care is your happiness, that's it."

And with that, Regulus threw himself all over you from the immense feeling he was feeling at that moment, hugging you with all his might as you returned to gesture just as fiercely. After all, it had been a long day and you missed your boyfriend, the one that would speak about Quidditch nonstop all the while letting you sleep on him as his hands caressed your hair and rubbed your back softly.

Just like now, with the adding of inhaling the scent of your hair deeply which made your heart race sweetly.

And now that the stress of him was now over and you knew what was going on...

It was time to tease him back.

"Did you just get jealous of a cat enough to come clean to me?" You mumbled from your position where your face was buried in his neck, the tingles making him giggle as a groan left him at feeling your smile on his skin.

"Love, please!"

"What? You are the one who was jealous!" You giggled playfully, but your enjoyment was soon cut when Regulus threw himself on his bed with his arms still wrapped around you. You landed harsher on his chest than you imagined and you were worried you accidently crushed him but his sigh of contentment and the way he nuzzled to your neck showed that he was far from being bad.

"I can't believe you now have a nuzzling habit, are you going to knead at me too?" You hit his chest softly when his eyes shot open and an evil smirk found his face.

Oh, that's not something good...

"I already did it earlier when I laid on your chest- Oww!"

"Regulus Arcturus Black, when did you have a foul mouth!" You hit him with his pillow as he laughed hard and ended up on the floor while trying to stop you.

"What can I say, love. I have the most gorgeous lover of all Hogwarts!"

That little shit and his sweet tongue, knowing how to get himself out of any problem...

"Okay, you got out of trouble for now... You are my favourite by the way, you always have been, in case your childish self got jealous of a cat..." you grumbled out when his head landed on your thighs and looked up at you innocently.

"That cat was still me though..." he looked at you through his lashes as you giggled, relishing on your words and how they made warmth spread all around his whole body.

"Yeah, yeah, sure... There is something I have to show you though. I was planning for a few days now. Promise to not get sad?" He nodded without knowing and guessing what was happening...

But the only thought that crossed Regulus' mind, when he saw you changing into a pure white cat, was I love her.

As you swinged your tail around Regulus' waiting hand and nuzzled to him, he smiled softly and scratched your head softly while patting your ears. His heart felt so full of love and he didn't remember any other day he felt this much happiness.

"You are... most certaintly the most beautiful yet also annoying person I know. Being a white cat Animagus, completely contrasting me but also creating something so beautiful? Did you think I will let go of you easily after this?"

You tilted your head teasingly and let out a purr before changing back into your human form with your feet dangling off of the bed like a little kid as you threw your head back towards him to look at his raised brows while he tried to surpass the smirk that threatened to take over his face.

"Yeah, I know... But you love me, no?" You cutely smiled as you nuzzled closer to his chest, and unknown to you, he smiled to himself like a fool as he wrapped his arms all around your body thightly when your body reached where he was now sitting on the bed.

Oh Merlin, he already does love everything about you.

"Can we... cuddle like that? As cats? It could be our new bonding activity!"

"I can't believe... Okay, fine. Don't try anything funny though."

"Like what?"

"Like the meaning of that wiggly eye-brows!"

But since you both were weak for each other, you two soon dozed off like that, one white and black cat tangled together peacefully as their hearts beated the same beat.

Not knowing that the next day, Barty would startle everyone awake and embrass you while yelling "Our Reggie found another chich, cat, kitten, whatever! He is cheating on our sweet Y/N!"

[sebbianas]

After the war Minerva becomes Hogwarts’ Headmistress and so she had to finally clear out her beloved office and dorm in the Gryffindor Tower for the next Head of Gryffindor. Its been years since she started there and she knows she’ll have to go through a lot of old essays, books, and letters.

It was halfway through her cleaning did she discover a bunch of essay she did when she sat all her 7th year Gryffindor down to ask them what their plans are. The essay was simple, answer the question “where do you see yourself in 10 years?”. It’s a yearly thing she does with her graduating students just so she can keep track of where they’ll be and where she can finds them.

Minerva wasn’t sure which batch this essay belongs to so she was a bit excited to see who’s essay it all belongs to and see if they end up doing what they said they will. With a swish of her wand the papers straightened themselves and she was able to see the first essay on top.

Her heart immediately broke.

Sirius Black

I have no plans 10 years from now but inside those 10 years I want to explore the world. I want to see everything until I get sick of it, I want to be everywhere. I want to buy the stupidest shit things to bring home to my friends and hopefully my brother. 10 years is a long time to fix a broken relationship, right?

Minnie knew the other essay will destroy her but seeing these student’s handwriting would give her so much comfort.

Lily Evans

Quite realistically 10 years is a short time to be something great or historical, I wish to explore what this world can offer to me and show it what i can offer it. I want to prove myself more than just my magical blood. I am a great witch and I wish to prove that to the world. Along with this I hope to raise a family of my own, nurture a home that is full of compassion, kindness, and love.

Remus Lupin

I don’t have any great expectations for my future, if I get a stable job then I’ll be okay. What I hope to see in 10 years is that the family I have with me now are still there with me.

Mary MacDonald

10 years from now I hope the war is over and I am free to be a fashion designer for the muggle world and the wizarding world.

Marlene Mckinnon

I want to be the greatest quidditch player there is. I want little girls to look at me and realize they can do whatever they want, I want to give them hope that there is more to life than boys putting you down. I want to show them that there is strength in trying and there is strength in their femininity. I want to be the voice that I spent my whole childhood looking for.

Peter Pettigrew

I hope I’m braver than I am now, stronger than I am, and finally comfortable in who I am and who I become.

There was no controlling the tears that fell from Minnie’s eyes, she couldnt hole them back anymore. There was 1 more essay and she knew whatever’s inside it will destroy her even more.

James Potter

10 years from now, I hope the war is over and I was able to keep everyone I love safe.

Minnie holds the papers to her chest. She never had children of her own but these kids? These children she never watch grow up? These kids are hers.

[ellecdc]

HEAR ME OUT

former fboy barty who is now madly in love with reader and reader is like his first actual serious girlfriend

ARE WE SEEING THE VISION

I'M SEEING THE VISION HERE YOU GO; also, it's a continuation of this post but can be read as a standalone

Barty Crouch Jr x fem!reader who doesn't do 'casual' [1k words]

CW: brief mention of past harassment, mention of past sexual encounter but nothing explicit and SFW

Barty said goodbye to Evan in way of putting his hand against his mouth to get him to stop talking and then shoving his face away from him as he started taking purposeful strides for you. 

He’d only opted to come to class today in hopes of seeing you, and he’d only deigned to hang around afterwards so that he could talk to you after you finished speaking with the Professor.

Barty had been struggling to get you out of his mind for over a week now ever since you approached him in the club asking him to pretend to be your boyfriend, which ended in a very enjoyable romp afterwards.

And he’d be lying if he wasn’t hoping for another tryst as he pulled the door open for you before you’d even had a chance to push it; a look of wary surprise crossing your face before it melted into a smile.

That smile made him feel funny. 

“Well hello, my darling girlfriend.” He teased as he fell into step with you. 

“Hello, Barty.” You chuckled as you gently nudged him with your elbow. “Alright?”

“Fantastic, thank you. I’ve been thinking about the fun we had the other night.” He said as he moved to stand in front of you, smiling in that way of his that he knew usually got him what he wanted.

You simply smirked knowingly and raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Fleeing from a bar without paying your tab?”

Barty scoffed and waved you off. “My dad owns that bar, it’s fine. No, I meant what happened afterwards.”

You hummed in acknowledgment as you scrutinised him. “You mean when I thanked you profusely-”

“-multiple times-” Barty amended, earning him a salacious grin from you.

“-multiple times, for saving me from that creep?”

“Precisely.” Barty agreed with a nod. 

“That was fun.” You admitted, to which Barty quickly agreed. “But I don't think so, Barty. Sorry.”

“Oh… oh! Okay…erm, may I ask why not?” He sputtered as he took two long strides in order to catch up with you as you continued walking across campus. 

“You may.” You relented simply, smirking when you saw Barty roll his eyes from your periphery. 

“Okay…why not?”

“I…listen, I had fun and I don’t regret it, but I don’t usually do…casual.” You admitted, looking embarrassed for all intents and purposes as you stared down at Barty’s shoes and chewed on your lower lip. 

“Casual.” Barty parroted, fighting the urge to relieve your lower lip from its torment and, perhaps disturbingly, afflict it to his own torment. 

“Right, I…I don’t usually do casual sex, that was uhm…that was a one time thing for me.” 

“Oh, so…so, you only have sex when you’re dating someone?” Barty concluded.

“Right.”

“Great. Go on a date with me.” 

You barked a laugh as you continued walking, only to turn and see that Barty wasn’t following nor was he laughing as he was really quite serious.

“Are you-…you’re not serious, are you?”

“Mmm, nope, I’m quite serious, actually.” He responded.

“Barty.” You huffed somewhat chidingly. “I’ve never once seen you speak to the same girl twice. Well, save Meadows, but I’m quite certain she likes girls, so.”

Barty simply shrugged at you, not seeing at all what the issue was here. “There’s a first time for everything, no? I’m standing here talking to you for a second time, am I not?” 

“I’m just…I’m looking for something serious, Barty.”

“I can be serious!” He argued rather petulantly. 

“I’m not going to ask you for something you might not be capable of giving me.” You sighed.

“Are you challenging me? Is this a challenge? Because I’ll have you know I’ve never once lost a bet.”

“I’m not challenging you, Barty.” You laughed affectionately at him. “Monogamy and commitment isn’t your thing, and that’s fine! I’m not judging you or blaming you at all; I just think we might want different things.”

Barty stepped forward so that he was standing but a few inches from you, forcing you to look up at him. “Well, what I want is you.”

“You want me right now.” You whispered back; some of the fight clearly leaving you as you searched between his eyes.

“I’ll prove it. Let me prove it to you.” He insisted, daring to push some of your hair falling from its restraint away from your eyes. 

You sighed somewhat sadly as your bottom lip threatened to jut out. “I’m not worth breaking your rules for, Barty.”

“I think I can decide that for myself, no?” He murmured back.

He had to admit this is the softest he’d ever been with anyone before, but it was also the softest he’d ever felt with anyone before.

He didn’t usually get caught up on people; not like this, not like you. 

But you awoke something inside of him that night when you darted out of the sea of bodies like he was the last life raft of a sinking ship, your eyes wild and desperate as you clung to him.

He was always down for a ruse, so when you’d asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend he was more than happy to cause a little chaos. But when he’d heard you were scared, harassed, bothered? Well, the deep, black, protective rage that had him nearly fusing your body to his was something completely foreign to him.

He wanted more of it.

He wanted you.

And if this is what you needed from him? Well, he’d be that for you. 

“Teach me? I’m a quick learner, rather clever too.” He asked as he tilted your head up by your chin and forced you to look at him. 

“I…I don’t want to be an experiment.”

“I don’t either.” He agreed. “I just want you to be mine.”

You searched his eyes for a few more moments before letting out a dramatic sigh. 

“Fine, but I will be teaching you and there will be a quiz at the end of this so do keep up.” You hollered at him over your shoulder, though your small smile gave away the fact that it was all for show.

“Don’t you worry, treasure; I perform very well on tests.”

[megalony]

Heated Discussion

This is a new Evan Buckley imagine I had been wanting to write for a while now, and finally got the inspiration for it.

I hope you will all like it, let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700

@ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: A strange conversation with an old friend leads to an argument which stresses out Evan's pregnant wife.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apprehension and surprise flooded Evan's stomach when he opened the front door. He already knew who would be on the doorstep before he opened it, but it was still a shock to see him stood there.

He almost didn't believe the text he got the other day, asking if they could meet up after what had been months of simply texts and the odd phone call.

"Come in," He took a step back and motioned his arm to let Connor walk past him into the hallway.

In all the time they had been friends and for however long it had been that he and (Y/n) lived here, Evan couldn't think of a time when Connor had ever been inside the house or had even clapped eyes on it. They always met up at bars or restaurants with other friends tagging along or at parties.

He led the way through the hall, noticing that Connor was looking at all the photos decorating the walls and the ornaments scattered around. There were the odd canvas pictures on the walls which (Y/n) had beautifully decorated. Photos on the walls that Evan had taken himself when he found a new obsession with photography. And a lot of little clay crafts and pompom creations and random things the boys had made over the years.

Evan headed into the kitchen, bypassed the island in the middle and moved towards the fridge.

"Want a drink?"

"Sure." Connor walked into the pastel blue kitchen and folded his arms on the kitchen island, arching his lower back out.

He nodded when Evan placed a bottle of beer in front of him and watched Evan lean on the opposite end of the counter. Evan pressed his left hand down on the edge and propped one hip against the cupboard while his other hand drew patterns along the edge of his glass that was already starting to drip with condensation.

"Nice place, don't think I've been inside before."

"Thanks. So uh, I haven't seen you in a while. Last time we hung out was at Dan's birthday, right?" Evan took a sip of his drink while his eyes studied Connor closely.

He had been shocked, to say the least, when Connor messed out of the blue three days ago and after a bit of catching up, he asked if they could meet up. There had to be a reason, there always was these days. None of the gang- which consisted mainly of six of them who had been friends in college- ever just messaged or hung out for the sake of being with friends.

There was always a reason, whether that was to celebrate a birthday, to get drunk after someone had lost a job or had a fight or made some kind of achievement. And Evan knew this was no different, there would be a reason Connor had asked for a catch up.

And with Evan working a lot of odd shifts recently and wanting to spend time with (Y/n) and the boys, he said it would be easier for Connor to come over for a chat. Rather than meeting up for a drink somewhere. It meant Evan could relax at home too while they talked.

"Yeah, I think so. God, I still feel hungover from that."

A calmer, more playful smile came over Evan's lips and he nodded. He felt much the same.

Dan had insisted they all go to a club for his birthday and it had been the first time in a long while that Evan had gone out with people other than the team and got drunk with them. Dan kept buying the shots and Evan was the last man standing, the last one able to keep up with Dan for taking shots. Evan was a fun drunk, so (Y/n) was always telling him.

He became sweeter and dopey when he was drunk, and (Y/n) had been delighted when- after he called and politely asked her to pick him up- she got there and he happily slurred 'there's my lady' and attached himself to her like a monkey.

Evan had been very glad the next morning that the boys had spent the night with (Y/n)'s parents because Evan had suffered a bad hangover from that night.

"Great night," Connor mused with a smile and took a swig of his drink before he took a glance around. "Where's (Y/n)?"

"Gone for a lie down with Luke, he's got a cold and (Y/n) didn't feel well."

Evan nodded his head in the direction of the hallway. Carter was at school, but Luke wasn't at nursery because he was coughing and croaking and hadn't had a good nights sleep. About an hour ago he had finally started to become sleepy, and (Y/n) felt under the weather so she took him upstairs to have a power nap together.

The only times Evan knew his wife to take a nap was when she was really ill, or when she was pregnant. And she was eight months along now.

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay…" Evan tried to smile, but that sounded omnibus and rather worrying. Those words didn't always bode well.

"You know I got married two years ago," Connor lifted his head but he leaned down further against the counter with his arms stretched out in front of him like he was going to reach out for Evan at any moment. He was trying to steady his hands that were messing with his beer bottle much the same as Evan was.

"Yeah, things still good between you two?" He remembered the wedding, it had been a good day. Evan and (Y/n) had been invited to the ceremony and the evening party but they didn't manage to stay into the evening because Carter hadn't been well.

He would admit he and (Y/n) didn't know Connor's wife Laura very well, the four of them never hung out very often and Laura didn't go on nights out when the group did. They had met her twice before the wedding.

It was different with (Y/n), she and Evan had been together since college so she had naturally gotten to know all of Evan's friends very well. She had been on lots of their nights out and all the boys thought she was loving and caring and funny. She was well and truly one of their own.

"Things are great- well, they were great. We wanted to start a family after we got married, so we tried, but nothing happened. We went to a doctor… and it turns out to be my fault."

"Your fault?"

"I can't have kids, Buck."

Evan rolled his lips together and leaned back off the counter. He scratched the back of his neck while his other hand started to drum against the counter out of nervous, ADHD habit.

He didn't know any of his friends to have that problem. Most of his close friends already had kids, Hen, Eddie, Bobby, even Chimney and Maddie now had Jee together. And a few of the guys from college had started settling down. Admittedly Evan had been the first one of them all to have kids, he barely scraped nineteen when he and (Y/n) had Carter.

"Oh, hey I'm sorry, that must be rough." Evan wasn't sure what the appropriate response to that was.

He couldn't say he understood because he didn't know what that was like. He didn't know what it felt like to be desperate to start a family only to find out there was something wrong with him that meant it wasn't going to be a reality. Kids had always been something Evan wanted in his life and he had been lucky enough to find (Y/n) and have Carter early on. They never had a problem starting a family. Carter was ten, they had Luke who was four and now they were about to have another baby.

Evan couldn't relate to Connor's problem and he didn't know how he could help or what he could say to try and take the sting out of it.

He realised a moment too late that maybe asking Connor round wasn't the best idea, now he knew what kind of problem he was going through.

Coming here meant Connor was witnessing the house scattered with trucks and toys and crayons and arts and crafts.

Evan could see Connor was already staring ahead at the fridge and Evan didn't have to turn round to know why. There were at least two new scan photos on the fridge because it made Evan giddy every time he opened the fridge to think about his impending arrival. His little girl.

And there was Carter's latest painting stuck up on the fridge which happened to be of a fire truck with Evan painted beside it in his bright yellow helmet. It was a picture Evan was immensely proud of and he would frame it soon once they took it off the fridge. There also happened to be a picture of all four of them on a day out at the beach pinned up there, and a picture of Luke sat in the fire truck with such a cheesy smile.

All of that wasn't going to make Connor feel much better with his current situation, being here was going to make him feel worse. And it made Evan feel bad for inviting him round without knowing the circumstances first.

"Connor, what does this have to do with me? Why did you want to talk to me?"

What use would talking to Evan do? Granted, he could be a listener when he put his mind to it and he liked to help people. He was always chatting and trying to talk people through situations and do what he could to help them. But he couldn't do very much.

Evan couldn't talk this situation into a better state. He couldn't come up with solutions, he couldn't do anything, it was nothing to do with him and it wasn't his speciality.

"We're thinking about other options, but adoption takes time and Laura wants to have a baby, she wants that experience, you know? So another option is getting a sperm donor."

"Oh."

A shiver crawled down Evan's spine and his expression went slack when realisation hit him like a train.

Oh.

They wanted him to be a donor? Why him? Why would they think of getting a sperm donor and have Evan be the first person they thought of? Was he even the first person they came to about this? Had they been to anyone else in their friend group, had they considered going to a donor bank?

The thought of being a donor had never crossed Evan's mind before. He was a blood donor, sure. He donated every month along with the rest of the team, like clockwork on the last Monday of every month. But blood was different to sperm. Blood saved lives, it didn't create them.

Evan thought the only lives he would ever create were the kids he had with his wife. He didn't consider donating and having other kids out there in the world that he would never get to see or know or bring up and raise as his own. The thought of someone else raising his kids made the hairs on his arms spike up and had his throat tightening in apprehension.

"I… Connor, that's-"

"I know, I know it's a lot to ask and a lot to take in. All I'm asking is for you to think about it, take some time, talk to (Y/n)." His expression was sincere and sorrowful.

He didn't mean to spring this on Evan and he didn't want an answer right away because of course an immediate response would be a no. He was just asking for Evan to think it over and consider what he was asking. That's all.

"Why me?"

"Because you're you. You're the guy who livens up a party, the one who does anything to help a stranger for no reward or praise. And you're a great dad, you're boys are sweet and they take after you."

"Well I- I'm flattered, truly." His lips quirked into a lopsided smile and he continued to rake his nails along the back of his neck causing deep red gashes to appear on his skin. "I'll think about it."

***

Dragging her feet, (Y/n) trudged through the hall and slowly made her way into the kitchen. Her head was spinning, her back was aching and her lower stomach felt heavy each time the baby twisted around.

She wanted to go back to bed, desperately, but she knew sleeping the afternoon away meant she wasn't going to sleep well tonight. Her fingers dragged through her hair and a smile pulled at her lips when she looked over at the kitchen table and saw Evan sat there.

He had his back to her, his head resting on his hand and he looked to be scrolling through his phone.

"Hi baby… did Connor come round?" Her fingertips trailed across his shoulder and she leaned over to kiss his curls which were running wild over his head.

She felt him lean back into her touch and he grinned when she kissed his temple. Her and Luke's power nap had extended a bit longer than (Y/n) first intended and she felt awful that Connor seemed to have come and gone and she hadn't even popped down to say hello to him. The last time she saw him was when she had picked Evan up from Dan's birthday party and she was sure Connor wouldn't remember that as he had been one drink away from collapsing on the floor.

"Yeah, left about half hour ago. How's Luke?"

"Fast asleep in our bed, thought I'd leave him a bit longer since he's settled. Was Connor okay?"

She kissed his cheek before she slowly moved towards the kettle and flicked it on. She could do with a drink to see if it would perk her up and ward off her headache.

Once she'd made a drink, (Y/n) twisted round and backed up into the corner of the counter. She leaned her back against the smooth edge, hoping that leaning against it would click her spine into place and rid her of the ache in her back. She slouched back and cradled her scolding cup between her palms while she looked across at her husband.

He spun round in his chair and folded one arm over the back while his other hand tapped against the table. That was a sign that he was thinking about something, that he might be worked up over something and it made (Y/n) curious.

She had been wondering what Connor wanted to come over and talk about and now it seemed he hadn't just come for a catch up or to ask about having another night out.

"He asked me to be a sperm donor for him."

"I beg your pardon?" (Y/n) set her cup down and moved both hands to grip the counter behind her. She could feel herself turning rigid as shockwaves coursed through her blood.

What had she missed?

What had they been talking about while she had been for a nap? Had she gone to sleep and woke up in a different time? Had she slept for a week instead of a few hours?

This was something strange and out of the blue. Connor had never asked something like this before, he had never really asked them for anything. But this was strange. What kind of friend came round and asked someone to be a sperm donor for them? It didn't matter how close they were, this wasn't the kind of thing friends asked of friends, it wasn't something friends willingly did for others.

Evan kept his hand gripping the table while his foot started to tap against the tiled floor. His other hand moved to the back of his neck again and his nails scratched into the skin until he was pinching himself and on the brink of drawing blood beneath his thin but relatively sharp nails.

Maybe he should have started the conversation off better than that rather than jumping straight to the point like that.

But he had been stunned. He was still stunned at what he had been asked and he wasn't sure how to process this or how to think and contemplate it. What was he supposed to think? Was he supposed to be flattered, angry, uneasy, happy? What was he meant to do?

"Him and Laura wanted to start a family, but he found out he can't have kids… so he asked me to be a donor for them."

Evan pushed up from the table and walked across the kitchen until he was in front of (Y/n). He leaned his right hand out against the kitchen island and his other hand found his hip. He could feel this conversation wasn't going to go down very well.

"And you're actually considering this?" Her nails began to tap out a frantic rhythm against the counter as she tried to stay calm, but this conversation was making it very hard. Just the thought of this was unnerving. If she disagreed with this, then (Y/n) was going to be made out to be the bad guy. She might be seen as being in the wrong for not wanting Evan to do this.

But was she in the wrong? Surely it was fair for (Y/n) to be concerned and uneasy about her husband potentially donating and having a child out there in the world that their friends were going to raise. They would know anytime that they saw Connor's child that it was Evan's biological kid.

Biology didn't mean everything, (Y/n) knew that. But she knew Evan like the back of her hand. He wouldn't be able to stay away. He would want to see his child, to know if they were okay and what they were up to and how they were doing. He wouldn't want to have a baby and then just hand it away, never to be involved again.

She lifted her chin to look up at her husband who took a step closer like he was trying to close the distance between them and close the argument that was now inevitable.

"I don't know, I at least need to think about it."

"Baby, that's not a normal thing to ask a friend. And why now? Evan, we're having a baby, we're gonna have three kids. I don't think now is the time to think about you having a fourth kid out there that you're never going to be able to see or talk to or tell them that they're truly yours."

(Y/n) ran her hand over her face and slouched back into the counter that was starting to hold more and more of her weight up.

Was she being unreasonable? Was (Y/n) being horrible for not wanting to consider this? But surely, she had some sort of say in this. She knew it was Evan's body and at the end of the day it would always be his choice, but this didn't concern just him. This concerned their family too.

This meant that there would be a piece of Evan out there that they couldn't talk to or connect with. A child they would never get to know.

They were married, they had three kids together and they were happy. Was Evan really going to be okay having a fourth child that he would never get to hold or cuddle or talk to? Would he be okay seeing them at parties or passing in the street, knowing they were his but never being able to stake that claim to them?

If it were (Y/n), she wouldn't be able to give up a child like that. And she had seen the way Evan was when the boys were born, he had that instant connection and love and adoration. He never wanted to put them down. This wasn't going to be the same.

"Connor can't have kids, (Y/n)."

The way Evan spoke made (Y/n) narrow her eyes and scoff. He spoke as if they had some part in this or some responsibility to Connor, but they didn't. That wasn't their fault and there was nothing they needed to do in this dilemma because Connor wasn't family or their partner. He was a friend.

"That's not your fault or your obligation to help, Evan."

"He wants a family."

His voice was so passive and calm that it made (Y/n) boil over with rage. How could Evan be so calm and easy going about this? How could he be contemplating this? If he went through with this there would be no turning back. There would be no way for Evan to stake his claim on that child because they wouldn't truly be his and he wouldn't have any rights to them.

Her temper was flaring and rising inside of her like a volcano starting to bubble over and it made her body shake with an overflow of adrenaline.

"Why you? There are donation banks out there Evan, so people don't get picky or try to find their donor and so there's no involvement and complications." If it were (Y/n) going through this, she wouldn't want a friend to donate, it would complicate things. She wouldn't want to know anything about the donor, as long as they were healthy that would be enough.

They shouldn't of asked Evan. It wasn't right, it was far too much to ask.

Did Connor and Laura not think this through? They shouldn't of asked Evan because they were friends. In the future if they went out together and people asked Connor how his child was, that was going to sting for Evan. That was going to bring up emotions he wouldn't be able to voice because of Connor.

When he talked about his child, Connor would be talking about Evan's child, that would change things in their friendship group. Evan wouldn't be able to ask about the child, he wouldn't be able to pay too much interest and what would happen if he were around the child?

Evan wouldn't be able to tell them the truth, he would have to stay at arm's length. He would be another one of their father's friends, nothing more.

"They want someone they trust and know."

"That doesn't make a difference, you won't be raising the child!"

A twinge tore through (Y/n)'s abdomen and she cringed, gripping the counter tighter until it was cutting into her palms and leaving lagged indents in her skin. Her back clicked in place when she pushed up straighter and shifted her weight onto her heels that were scraping against the floor.

This whole mess was stressing her and the baby out but (Y/n) couldn't just walk away and leave everything unanswered and sit in a panic. They had to talk about this and she had to know whether Evan was actually going to go through with this or not.

"Think about it, if you did this, they wouldn't let you be involved. You wouldn't be able to be around them much, you'd see everything from afar. They wouldn't tell the kid you're their dad. Could you honestly let a child go like that, Evan? Because seeing you with Carter and Luke, I don't think you could hand a baby over and cut all ties like that."

"I don't know."

"And when you go out with him and people ask about his kid, you can't pipe up and say anything. You'd have to sit there listening to all the achievements, the milestones, the illnesses and videos and pictures, and you couldn't share any of those moments."

Her tone was firm and her lips pressed into a thin line which made Evan sigh and tilt his head forward. He clamped one hand down on the counter and dragged the other down his face as he bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"(Y/n), it's not that simple and you know that." He lifted his head, trying to take a deep breath to calm down the argument that was evolving. "This is Connor we're talking about-"

"Oh yes, I know Evan. This is the guy that laughed and asked you why you were tying yourself down to me when I got pregnant. Or have you forgotten the way he joked with you and taunted me for having Carter? He told you it would be a mistake, and now he thinks that because he is doing things in 'the right order' he has every right to come here and ask something that big of you, of us."

Evan may have been able to forgive and forget on that front, but (Y/n) couldn't. She could let things be, but she wouldn't forget the way Connor had acted when they hard Carter.

She wouldn't forget how he had clapped Evan on the back while everyone else congratulated him and asked why he wanted to make this kind of mistake? He told Evan that having a kid at nineteen, before he finished college or had a steady job was a mistake and he didn't need to 'settle down' with (Y/n) so early. He could still wait a while and see if she was truly the one for him.

"He thinks he has the right to judge us for having Carter and then suddenly ask something so big, something no one has the right to ask. And all because, what? He's done the social order of things only to realise he's lacking in one area. That doesn't give him the right to pretend he's righteous and ask you to donate for him."

(Y/n) had always been weary of Connor after hearing what he'd said when he thought she wasn't around.

She had seen the way it upset Evan and how angry he had been because there were only a few of his friends who understood that a family, a proper, loving family, was all he'd ever wanted.

(Y/n) dragged her hand up and down her lower stomach while she looked the other way so she didn't have to focus on Evan's conflicted expression.

She felt sick. Her stomach was weighing her down to the floor, her back felt like it was snapping in two and her head was spinning so hard and fast she worried she might faint. This conversation was getting them nowhere, it was only creating an argument that was going to wake Luke and send them all into a state of distress.

"But the fact is that he's asked me, and the least I can do is consider it properly. I can't imagine a world without our boys or the pain it would cause to know I was the reason we couldn't have kids. And whether or not I donate or someone else does, I can see the reasoning of asking someone you know. It's comforting. If there are any problems, you can ask for medical history, you know they're a good person."

"Do what you want. It's your choice, but you have to think it through."

She wasn't going to be able to dissuade Evan no matter what he chose to do. He wasn't listening to her, he wasn't seeing this from the other angle. All he could see was his chance to help someone because that was what he was like, he wanted to help people and if he had the chance, he took it. Damn the consequences for himself.

Well if Evan wanted to do this, it was his choice. (Y/n) had no say because it wasn't her body, she could tell Evan she didn't agree and make sure he knew her thoughts and views, but she couldn't say yes or no because this was nothing to do with her body.

If Evan wanted to watch a fourth child from a distance, knowing he could most likely never talk to them or see their achievements or be in their life, then he could do that. He could do that and possibly make the biggest mistake of his life when that baby was here and he realised he wanted them, badly, but could never take them back.

And (Y/n) had a feeling that if he did this, it would be the last they saw of Connor and Laura. They wouldn't want to be around her or Evan too much in case their children got too friendly and their child realised Connor wasn't their actual dad. They wouldn't want Evan getting close to his true kin or getting attached or wanting to be involved in any way.

They would be selfish and push Evan out, once the baby was born, (Y/n) could see them not telling him anything. No pictures, no calls, no updates, nothing. He would be cut off just like every other donor out there.

Evan might be under the impression that because they were all friends, he would get more out of this. He would get to see this child grow up, but he wouldn't. He would be demoted from friend to donor.

"Baby don't do that-"

"I'm done with this argument." (Y/n) pressed her lips together to stop herself from crying, but she could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes creating a sting in her nose.

She turned on her heels, pushing her weight off the counter and back onto her legs that were close to buckling beneath her. She wasn't going to stand here and argue. He was going to make up his mind either way, this argument wasn't going to persuade or dissuade him in any direction. He didn't need her for these decisions and (Y/n) wasn't arguing when it was making her feel ill.

Her left hand trailed along the counter while her right hand pushed into the lower side of her abdomen like she was trying to give the baby a nudge to make them shift. They were pressing down on her hips and it was painful.

She kept her head tilted down, staring at the floor as she tried to pass Evan but she had to pause when his hand curled around her upper arm. But a deep growl left his lips when (Y/n) yanked her arm out of his grip and carried on walking.

"Get off."

She wasn't sure where she was trying to go. She was too wound up to try and go back to sleep with Luke and he didn't want to go upstairs in case she disturbed him. He didn't sleep at all last night and he had no nap yesterday, he needed his rest.

She passed the dining room and aimed for the living room, praying Evan wouldn't follow and drag this argument with him because (Y/n) knew if she sat down, she wasn't likely to be able to get up without a struggle.

"Baby, please don't walk away, this isn't just my decision."

He wanted to talk and he wanted to be close, he didn't want (Y/n) pulling away from him and not accepting his touch like this.

"Yes it is. If I told you not to and you regretted it, that would always be my fault. If I told you to go ahead and then you got shut out of that child's life for good, I would be to blame. My opinion is I don't think this is a good idea, but it's up to you. Help them, tell them to find someone else, whatever."

(Y/n) flung her hand out behind her to reflect that she was tossing this argument out the window and she couldn't hide the venom that seeped into her tone.

If she pushed Evan to do this and he couldn't be part of that child's life, he might regret it for the rest of his life. He might wallow about the child he could never see, never hug, never talk to. He might think about them for years to come and never come to terms with giving them up. But if he didn't do it, he might regret it later in life, he might think he missed out on a chance to do good, to give life and purpose to someone. Evan was always searching for ways to make a difference in the world.

(Y/n) couldn't make this choice for him, it had to be his own decision. But she feared if he went through with this, she herself might resent him for it.

She swallowed down a groan and aimed for the sofa that was calling out to her shaking legs. Her hand slid down to cradle the side of her stomach and both legs twinged and shook when a searing spasm pulsed through her abdomen.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn't stop them from spilling down her face when she heard Evan groan and storm back into the kitchen.

Her hand reached out and clenched down around the back of the armchair while her other hand cradled her stomach that suddenly felt like it had dropped down towards her feet. She couldn't help but close her eyes as tears streamed down her face and her body doubled forward like she was a spring coiling back down.

Suddenly sitting down didn't feel like the right option even though her legs were close to buckling beneath her.

She twisted to the right, trying to gather enough strength to stand up properly again and aim for the stairs. She couldn't just stand here like a statue all afternoon. She needed to go calm down and the bedroom seemed the best place to do that, or maybe she could take a bath and see if that would relax her. (Y/n) didn't feel well, she needed to go calm down.

It took all the strength she had left to push off the armchair and try to shuffle towards the stairs and (Y/n) found she couldn't stand upright without leaning against something. Standing up straight hurt her stomach and her lower back too much. Her body slumped to the left, reaching out for the bannister to hold her up as her fingers dug deep into her stomach and her knees trembled.

She reached the stairs, but more tears were pouring down her face and curse words flew past her lips when her knees crashed down on the stairs.

"Fuck… oow, Evan."

Confusion tore through Evan and unease rattled through his blood as he spun on his heels and moved into a brazen walk down the hall. He didn't like the pain he could hear laced into (Y/n)'s voice or the guttural cry that followed.

His brows furrowed and he looked around, expecting to find her in the living room but he didn't like the sight he was faced with when he looked over at the stairs.

(Y/n) was knelt down on the stairs, one arm slumped on the step with her forehead pressed into her arm. And her other arm was cradling her lower stomach, a very bad sign indeed. Each breath was shallow and barely there at all and she was trembling enough to make thumps and taps rattle against the stairs.

"Baby, hey, baby what's the matter?"

He skidded across the floor to be beside her. His arms were stretched out before he was even within reaching distance of her and once he was close enough, Evan crouched down behind her with his hands on her waist. He waited a few seconds to see if (Y/n) would move or even turn his way, but she seemed too caught up in her pain to move or talk to him.

He looped his left arm around her waist across her bump with his hand flush against her stomach. And his right hand slid up beneath her arm to cup her shoulder so he could gently ease her back off the stairs. He pulled her as carefully as he could until her back was flush against his chest and her head flopped back against his shoulder.

"Talk to me. What happened, did you fall?"

(Y/n) managed to open her eyes to stare up at Evan and take in his panic-stricken expression. Her hand reached down to clench around his wrist that was resting over her stomach and she shakily grabbed his other hand while her eyes cast downwards.

"Fuck- oh, my water broke."

Panic took over Evan's system and had him on red alert. He glanced down over her shoulder, leaning his chest forward into her back to get a better view and he realised she was right. Her waters had broken. She was in enough pain that it had to be contractions she was feeling.

They were at thirty-six weeks now, labour could technically happen anytime now, although they would have hoped for another two weeks or more before having the baby.

"Oh oh… sweetheart I- I'm sorry. Come on, sitting on the stairs isn't gonna help either of you."

Evan kept her leaning back against his chest and he slowly shuffled off the lower step so he could get back on his feet. He eased (Y/n) back with him, moving both arms so they were around her waist, cupping her stomach to take her weight for her. He held her up with ease when her knees trembled and buckled and he carefully turned them to the side and started walking towards the armchair.

Once they were at the chair, Evan turned to the side so he could ease (Y/n) down into the chair. She sat on the edge, moving her hand to grip the armrest as she balanced her weight on her heels and sat forward, pushing her stomach down into her thighs.

As much as she felt angry towards Evan for this argument, she couldn't help but reach out for his hand and pull him closer as if she thought he would actually walk away from her right now.

"I'm b-blaming you for this." She whispered, following Evan through watering eyes as he crouched down next to her thigh and moved his free hand to grip her knee tightly. His puppy dog eyes stayed locked with hers while he leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss against her stomach.

There was nothing but love and sorrow hiding within his eyes that were close to tears. He hadn't meant to upset her this much or stress her out and push her into labour. He shouldn't have argued. He should have walked away or tried to simmer down the conversation when he noticed (Y/n) becoming uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I am. Are you okay?" It seemed like a silly question but it tumbled past his lips before he could think better of it.

This wasn't how they were supposed to have their third baby. This wasn't part of the plan. They were supposed to have another week or two so they could get everything ready. Maddie was going to have the boys and they would be prepared and not in the middle of a heated argument when this happened.

(Y/n) didn't think she had the will power to use her voice yet, so she settled for nodding while she gingerly moved his hand towards her stomach. His touch always soothed and calmed her down and it would do the same for the baby too.

"I'll ring Maddie and check if she's off work, see if she can have the boys and get Carter from school."

With her teeth sinking into her lower lip, (Y/n) leaned forward a little more so she could nuzzle her face into the top of Evan's hair. She felt his fingers softly gliding over her stomach and when she kissed the top of his head, Evan tilted his head back to look up at her. His free hand moved to cup her chin between his thumb and finger and he searched her eyes for a few seconds, making sure she was calm and no longer panicking.

His eyes softened and he dived up to steal a kiss, feeling like he had been starved of her lips for weeks rather than just a few hours while she had been upstairs with Luke.

He kissed her like he was trying to pour all of his thoughts into her mind and kiss an apology into her lips. His tongue swiped across her lips and delved against hers, taking any air she had and breathing it back to her. And his lips curved into a burning hot grin when he felt (Y/n)'s hand move from his wrist to secure at the nape of his neck to pull him closer.

"I think you're right."

His breathless words, spoken against her lips, had (Y/n) frowning. What was she right about? Being in labour?

She nudged her nose against his, the confusion in her eyes begging him to explain what he was referring to. If she weren't so flustered and ravaged with pain, (Y/n) might have given him a sarcastic response before knowing what he meant. She would of said 'of course I'm right' or 'what else did you expect?' but she wasn't in the frame of mind to strike up sarcasm right now.

"If I was a donor, they wouldn't want me involved… I couldn't be there for any of it, not like this. I don't think I could do that." His hands moved forward so both palms were grazing across her stomach and he leaned over to press his lips against her bump over the top of her shirt.

If he went through with it, then it would be Connor in Evan's place. He would know his child was being loved and raised by someone else, and maybe that would be okay for a while. Maybe he could get in the mindset that it wouldn't really be his kid, he was offering up a bit of himself to help others. He would be giving an offering and that was it, Connor would be the one putting the time and effort in to raise the baby.

And Evan believed being a donor was such a good thing, it helped so many people. But one had to be detached to be a sperm donor. They had to be uncaring and ready to cut ties and not know anything about any kids they may have out there.

Evan wasn't that kind of person. The marines had tried to drill the love and compassion out of him, mould him into a machine and he left specifically because that wasn't who he was or who he wanted to be.

If he was the donor, he couldn't be there like this. He couldn't be at the scans or revel in the scan photos or the heartbeat, and he couldn't be at the birth like he was with his three children.

Being here right now, with (Y/n) in his arms and their baby between them, this was the kind of way Evan wanted to bring life into the world. He wanted to be involved.

"That's not a bad thing." (Y/n) wove her fingers into Evan's wild curls and nuzzled her cheek against the top of his head, leaning further into his embrace.

If Evan was going to bring life into the world, he wanted to be involved, in every aspect of it.

[steddieas-shegoes]

won't know unless you try

for @steddie-week prompt 'mutual pining'

rated t | 1919 words | cw: referenced recreational drug use | tags: mutual pining, getting together, awkward flirting, fast burn

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Eddie’s just the guy he gets drugs from. He has to remind himself of that a little too often.

It’s just that he’s been seeing him weekly for nearly a year now with the exception of his family holiday for two weeks over the summer. When you see someone that frequently, even if only for a couple of minutes, you tend to become friends.

Which is an exaggeration of what they actually are, and Steve can recognize that he is almost definitely the only one who feels anything more for Eddie than what a business transaction would call for. Eddie’s never even so much as hinted at wanting to hang out outside of the exchange of goods, but Steve thinks the small smile and nod he gives when Steve waves goodbye to him is flirting.

Or flirting adjacent.

Eddie may not even actually like guys. Steve’s not the best at reading people, and it’s gotten his heart in trouble plenty of times before.

Like when he was pretty sure he was in love with Robin and she awkwardly came out to him in a bar’s bathroom, leaving him feeling a bit dumb, a little heartbroken, and a lot disappointed. Luckily, she was able to give him space for a few days and he realized he just loved being her friend.

It didn’t go so well with Evan or Cooper or Connor. Or Amanda or Heather or Caitlin.

But with Eddie, it felt different.

You won’t know unless you try, ran through Steve’s head on loop as he walked up to the front door of Eddie’s apartment.

Only a few customers got the privilege of knowing where he lived, Steve being one of them.

Months of sad attempts at flirting and awkward giggling led up to this moment.

He knocked on Eddie’s door, smiling to himself when he heard music shut off and a curse as Eddie must’ve stumbled over something.

The door swung open and Eddie was standing there with his guitar slung over his back, hair pulled into a bun.

“Hey, Stevie.”

****

No other customers got to come to his apartment, that was his biggest rule.

A rule he broke the moment Steve had been in a rush and had only been a few blocks from where he lived.

He knew why, and he knew it was stupid, and that he was just hoping for something to happen. He needed Steve to make a move.

But Steve never did. He was kind of awkward, actually, not even close to as charming as his friend Jeff made him believe. Well, the awkwardness was actually a little charming. But Jeff had made it sound like he was some casanova who could get anyone he wanted with one line and a well-placed touch.

He never gave discounts, either, that was his other biggest rule.

But Steve never paid full price, not even the first time.

He’d looked exhausted and sad and, well, pathetic. Eddie felt bad for him and ended up giving him a bit of a buy one get one situation. And then he just…kept doing that.

Steve didn’t know. He didn’t think he knew. He never said anything about paying more elsewhere or anything, so maybe he just never shopped around.

Steve was one of his best customers, and at this point, Eddie needed to just make it clear that he wanted to be more.

That’s why the moment Steve texted him that he was on his way, Eddie had thrown his hair up and grabbed his guitar, trying to look effortless while putting as much effort as ever into how he looked. If this didn’t work, he wasn’t sure anything would.

The knock on the door sent him spiraling. Suddenly he hated every choice he made up until this point. Why had he put his hair up in a bun? It made him look like he just got out of bed. And this shirt had stains on it. Not obvious ones, but he could still see them.

He opened the door to see Steve standing there, smiling at him, fingers giving that silly little wiggle.

“Hey, Stevie,” he could hear how breathless he sounded, but he covered it with a slow inhale. “Come in. I was just practicing.”

“I’ll be quick then,” Steve said as he stepped in the doorway.

“No, it’s okay!” Jesus, Eddie, chill out.

Steve just smiled and settled his hands in his pockets. “You write your own stuff, right?”

While they may have only spoken for a few minutes at a time every week, they both gave plenty of little tidbits about themselves. Eddie had shared his love of music early on, talked about his band more than anything else.

“Yeah, when inspiration strikes.” Eddie shrugged.

“Have you been inspired lately?” Steve asked, still standing in front of Eddie with his hands in his pockets.

Eddie thought about the notebook open in his bedroom, line after line of lyrics about Steve.

“You could say that,” he answered.

“Could I hear one?” Steve asked.

Eddie never got nervous before playing in front of a crowd, or friends, or even his Uncle Wayne. He thrived on the adrenaline of an audience watching him, sometimes singing along, sometimes just nodding their head to the beat if they didn’t know the words.

But Steve hearing a song he wrote here? In his apartment? Alone?

His stomach was already turning and his chest constricted with anxiety.

“I mean, no pressure!” Steve quickly held his hands up. “You don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine! I just usually play with my band, ya know? It won’t really sound the same without them, but if you really want…” Eddie looked towards his amp set up in the corner of his living room.

“I’d love to.”

Eddie was pretty sure this would scare Steve away, but maybe this was the move he had to make. At least he’d know one way or another if Steve was actually interested in him.

He knew exactly what song he wanted to play. He hadn’t even taken it to the guys yet, only played it acoustically so far because he knew it wouldn’t sound right with just his vocals and electric guitar.

It still needed some work lyrically, but he was pretty proud of it.

He gestured for Steve to sit on his couch, pushing thoughts about there being stains on his coffee table from not using coasters out of his mind so he could focus on his task at hand.

He rushed to the corner of the room to switch guitars, then rushed back and sat across from him on the couch.

“So this is one I haven’t even shown the band yet. I’m not sure if we’ll even play it. It’s…special to me,” Eddie rambled. “Sometimes I prefer to just have those for myself. Like sharing it with other people doesn’t feel right because it’s thoughts catered to me by me. That doesn’t even make sense-”

“Hey,” Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s arm. “It makes sense. I’m not really a musician or artist or anything, but one of the kids I used to babysit for was. He would get really nervous about stuff that was personal. I think it’s pretty normal.”

Eddie swallowed around the lump in his throat.

He was really doing this. Okay, then.

“Okay.” Eddie nodded. “Okay. Here we go.”

Eddie could feel Steve’s eyes on him as he sang a song about barely knowing someone but wanting them, about trusting that that person would be right for him, about getting a chance to love them. It was too much, but Steve didn’t run away, not even when Eddie finally looked up as he finished singing the last line.

“That was beautiful.” Steve had tears in his eyes. “I thought you guys were a metal band.”

Eddie laughed. “We are! This one will probably have some edits and I know Gareth will give it the double bass treatment. But for now, it’s more of a slow ballad.”

Steve had inched in closer to him while he played, his knee brushing against Eddie’s where it rested. He looked down at where they touched, then back up at Steve, who was biting his lip.

“This is gonna sound…so crazy. And you can totally kick me out and never let me come here ever again! But I just-”

“It’s about you.”

Steve’s breath caught as his eyes searched Eddie’s, probably looking for any sign that he was lying.

“You wrote a song about me?” Steve’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “Why?”

“Did you hear the part about knowing that something was right without knowing much at all?” Eddie leaned in, catching the scent of whatever cologne Steve had on.

“I just didn’t wanna assume you meant me.”

Eddie cupped Steve’s cheek in his palm. “You should always assume I mean you.”

*****

Steve leaned into Eddie’s hand, hoping the heat on his cheeks wasn’t too obvious.

“You barely know me, though.”

Eddie leaned in further, resting his forehead against Steve’s and breathing out.

“I know enough to know I wanna know more.”

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

“Before I gave you my address. No one else is allowed to pick up here.”

Steve’s eyes widened momentarily at his admission. He knew he had some special privilege with picking up at Eddie’s place, but didn’t realize he was the only one who did.

“But that was…months ago?” Steve had been sitting with his own feelings for so long, he was finding it hard to grasp that Eddie might have been feeling the same this whole time.

“Yeah. Seeing you for five to ten minutes every week has kind of been the highlight of my year,” Eddie admitted. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

Steve answered him by leaning in the last few inches to kiss him.

He ended up staying for the rest of the night, and most of the next day, and nearly any moment he wasn’t working was spent with Eddie.

Five minutes a week turned into five days a week quickly, and nothing made Steve happier than driving straight to Eddie’s apartment after a long shift. He had a key now, so that if Eddie happened to be at band practice or his own job, Steve could let himself in and relax.

Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly stressed, he’d grab one of Eddie’s edibles and hop in a hot shower.

Eddie usually made it back in time to join him, and they’d get carried away for hours.

It took months for Steve to realize Eddie never seemed to sell to anyone.

“You know it doesn’t bother me if you do. I know you’re careful,” Steve said over dinner.

“Stevie, I really only kept selling to see you.”

“Oh.” Steve looked down at his lap to hide his blush. “So do you need me to pitch in for rent or anything since I practically live here?”

“Sweetheart, I really didn’t need the money,” Eddie laughed as he reached for Steve’s hand. “I’m good. But if you wanted to move in, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“This is crazy, you know that, right?” Steve’s heart was racing in his chest at the suggestion.

“Not really. I love you, you love me, you do practically live here, and we spent over a year pining for each other. I think it’s time, don’t you?”

When he put it like that, Steve had no choice but to agree.

[ma1dita]

about you

this was a request! read it here

words: 4.3k (longest one yet ohmy)

summary: james potter takes ‘easier’ for granted and finds out he now has a living reminder of that

warnings: none! sort of au, everyone lives and they win the war— angst angst angst, maybe open ended!!! groveling james and reader is a MOTHA (afab!)

a/n: guys i missed writing angst…i’m a deeply sad soul at heart so i enjoyed this a lot. I listened to ‘night shift’ by lucy dacus writing the first half, and ‘about you’ by the 1975 for the second half,,,,, both on repeat. i don’t mean to post at ungodly hours but i hope you enjoy!

posted: 11/11/23

—-

Insecurity is an ugly thing. It tugs at your frame, holding your shoulders hostage and your countenance shriveled in a scowl as you slink forward in your seat. But what should the rational reaction be when your boyfriend, the one you’ve planned out the rest of your life with— takes you out to dinner on a random Tuesday and then decidedly backtracks on everything you’ve built together? Your ears are ringing loudly, and you dumbly ask him to repeat himself when he says he wants to take a break.

“So that’s it then. You’ve made your decision and I just have to be okay with losing a year and a half of my life because you aren’t sure if you love me?” Your tone cuts through the fraying tether that holds you two together in the corner booth.

James for once, is at a loss for words. He wasn’t really sure of what to expect when he brought you here tonight, but any reaction to his admission was bound to hurt the both of you. You had to have known about his hesitations. Graduation was three weeks away, and everything was about to change, whether either of you liked it or not. Stupidly enough, James does love you, but that’s not the problem. The proximity he’s had as Head Boy working with Lily Evans makes him wonder if the life he lives is what’s meant for him. It keeps him up at night, gnawing at his resolve and comfort in being with you. He feels ungrateful to have it so easy. Loving you is easy. But the imposter syndrome sneaks into his room late at night in the form of ‘what if’.

“I…it’s just the timing of it all. We’re about to leave Hogwarts, and I don’t want to tie you down if I know I’m unsure of my—our future.”

He reaches out to grab your hand, and many a time ago, his sense of awareness was what you admired about him. You’d both get this familiar feeling of needing comfort, and within a minute, your fingers would intuitively find the other’s like it was second nature. Now, the thought of his touch might make you break his hand off to serve on a silver platter.

“Fuck your timing. If you think it’s as easy as making the decision to just quit while we’re ahead…. I love you. Don’t you…Is that not—” 

You clear your throat, the fire in your indignation being stifled by the whimpering feeling of knowing this was going to happen. The understanding of his plight, the knowing that he wants more. You could see it in the way his eyes wander when you all hang out, and you could feel it when he needs time to himself before bed, letting you back to your common room in the late hours alone. Screw your heart for appealing to his indecisiveness, his fear, when the final blow is aimed at the relationship you both once wanted together. Head Boy and Head Girl share living quarters after all. What chance did you stand against the girl he fell asleep a room away from? Maybe he dreams of her too, what you couldn’t give and what more she has to offer. 

“Tell me something James,” you choke as your body heaves with something akin to nausea. Being lovesick isn’t as romantic as it seems. The hopeless feeling in your tummy throbs as you clench your fists to keep it all down.

“Whatever you want.” 

His reply makes you laugh, desolation gripping your esophagus. Who knew feeling empty would feel like drowning? There is no more air left in your lungs that it almost incapacitates you, your last breath spilling out your final ask of him.

“Do you love me? What did I do?” 

The noise and chatter around you seems to fall silent as he zeroes in on your face, crestfallen from the words that leave your lips. It isn’t your fault, but how can he tell you that? At 18, he’s feeling stifled by the privilege of having his life all planned out for him. He knows people spend their lives searching for contentment but James can’t decipher if he’s right for all of this pressure falling upon his shoulders. The societal heir of his father’s business empire. The face of the upcoming war, bringing in a new generation of soldiers to fight. 

Deep inside, he’s a wild spirit just wanting to live, to be free. And it scares him that you’d follow him to the ends of the Earth, that there isn’t much thinking involved, just doing. The lack of autonomy stifles his soul. How does one know if they’re meant for more? James doesn’t want you to have to suffer the consequences if he can’t figure it out himself.

“I love you honey. So much it hurts me. I just wonder if it’s enough.” 

Your hands clatter onto the table, bumping your half-empty pint of butterbeer as you gather your things, shoving them into your knapsack as his final blow hits your senses. And all he does is watch you, face transfixed as if he sees nothing, like he isn’t making the biggest mistake of his life.

There’s no going back after this, you think silently as you steady your trembling hands. There’s also no way in hell you’ll let him see you cry. Fuck that. Your eyes fall over the curls that drape over the frame of his glasses, his face cradled by candlelight and dear Merlin, do you love this boy. All of him, even the parts that don’t reciprocate the feeling. This is the final snapshot in your memory of him, because this fleeting moment will have to be enough.

“I hope you get everything you ever wanted James. For my sake, I hope I never hear a thing about it.”

Perhaps having the last word will absolve you of the feeling that desecrates your entire essence as you put one foot in front of the other, pushing past the door of the Three Broomsticks and out into the unknown. But it’s not enough.

—

The break in routine absolutely shatters you, if we’re being honest. A year and a half of loving him, and three more before that of liking the slow steady burn that is James Potter…. It’s like looking at the world with new eyes and this window of opportunity with graduation nearing is your chance of starting anew. There’s also the custodial aspect after the end of a relationship, and it’s hard to separate the rest of what’s yours and his in your mind. Your friends are his, and his are yours. It makes quite a predicament to not have things so easy as they consider who to eat lunch with, or who’s dorm to hang out in. Hopefully, things get easier with time but you’re not as confident as you once were.

A part of you feels like you don’t belong anywhere anymore. James is the sun, after all; a natural leader— everyone revolves around his ingenious ideas and the light he brings. He’s the one who always has a plan, and everyone follows in his stead. Where do you fit in all of that? Where do you go?

His parents are likely the loveliest people to ever grace the wizarding world. Euphemia catches you by the arm after the graduation ceremony as you’re about to take the 7th year boat back across the Black Lake. With no family in attendance and no boyfriend to dote on, niceties were expended quick enough to want to run out of there and never look back.

“Darling, are you leaving without a goodbye?” Mrs. Potter smiles, calling her husband over both with grins made of sunlight. 

Somehow it resonates in your brain that it’s finally over, and your lip trembles when they pull you in for a hug that rivals your hunger to be loved. You think that even if your parents showed up today, it wouldn’t have felt this kind.

“Congratulations dearest! We’re so proud of you,” Fleamont rumbles, a big man with an even bigger heart as he brandishes flowers out of thin air to hand to you daintily. You’re going to miss them terribly. Is it wrong to want more of this? But you remember why it’s not as James’s cologne floods your senses and his silhouette creeps into your periphery. Your smile grows smaller as you two stare at each other and breathe the same air for the first time in almost a month. Whatever’s thrumming in your being, he holds the key to. Mr. and Mrs. Potter try to loop you into a photo together, the magical kind that moves to capture a memory so intimately but both of you stand perfectly still as his and your hesitant dismissals go unheard.

Loving hands fuss over both your caps and the way hair sticks out until you feel your shoulders jostle together for a moment and his hand lands on the small of your back. The flash goes off as you two look at each other in something that still resembles love. You can’t unlove him, not in a day, a month, or ever, you think. Not if you’ve bared your soul to him, even if he hurt you. 

You look away first, urging your heart to come back to reality. He’s not yours anymore, and you still love him. Alice told you earlier that he asked Lily out on a date for next Tuesday. What you were supposed to do with that information you’re unsure, but the feeling in your belly helps you say goodbye to the Potters, and clarify that they can keep the picture since you’re not James’ girlfriend anymore. An awkward silence settles over all four of you.

Euphemia rubs your cheek, hushed promises of keeping in touch while Fleamont looks at his son in confusion. James’ hand flexes in the absence of your body against his. He simply watches you walk away again, alone, while he’s surrounded by his friends and his family. The beating of a tiny heart matching your own as you hop onto the boat proves otherwise.

—-

A baby.

You think back to when it must’ve happened, the weekend before that Tuesday, when everything still felt right. With your last exams of your academic career finally done, both you and James were tangled in his silk sheets until dawn, an amalgamation of passionate whispers and lingering touches you could still feel in the days that followed. As you stared at the flutter of his eyelashes and relished the way he pulled you closer in his dream state, you were quite sure that he is, too, tangled within your soul to let go. That your doubts were residual anxiety from preparing for the future. For the first time in a while, you were reaffirmed that the boy sleeping next to you was your forever. Not being careful was a consequence of feeling safe in his arms, and subconsciously, you both hoped that everything would work itself out. As you walked out of the Head Students’ Lounge past noon with James’ hickeys as a necklace and donning your boyfriend’s shirt, you noticed the blush on Lily Evans’ face. You were just so sure, but that felt like forever ago.

Your parents weren’t happy when they came back from their business trip two months after graduation to find you four months along with a prominent bump and filled with so much fear. All plans of getting a job, of moving out, and joining the Order were now replaced with the startling fact that you are 18 and don’t have a single clue on what to do next. Your childhood bedroom feels smaller tonight, with both your parents standing at the door, all of you unsure of what to say. You can’t remember the last time they tucked you in, but as your dad takes a seat on the edge of your bed, it seems possible that maybe you won’t be alone in all of this.

“Whatever decision you make will be the right one, sweetie. If you love that baby, then we do too,” he sniffles, and you don’t recall having ever seen him this emotional before. One thing you are sure of, is this baby is loved, and made from love. The next is that England is not a safe place to raise your baby. 

Somewhere far away, in a hidden place guarded by some of the most experienced wizards, the Order of the Phoenix meets again to determine the future of the wizarding world. James’s eyes dart back and forth from the door to whichever adult is talking about the next mission. You didn’t show up again. All of the meetings so far where he was always the first one to arrive and the last to leave in hopes of getting a glimpse of you, and you never showed. There’s a deep worry that haunts him as the months pass by, and he knows that it would be easy to send you a letter, or to show up at your door, but he’s probably the last person you want to see. 

“We’re going out for a pint, you ready to leave James?” Lily whispers into his ear, arms curling around to his chest. But he’s not ready at all, sat on the sofa with his eyes on the door, just in case. Trying to love someone who’s still in love is a losing battle, Lily thinks, as she watches her boyfriend look like a child missing their favorite blanket. But in a war like this one, no one would be foolish enough to decline company.

“I’ll meet you there,” he smiles, leaning back to kiss her cheek. It’s cruel to both of them, the way he’s acting knowing that Lily won’t ever be you. Every chance he gets to have a moment to himself, he thinks of the despondent look on your face as you walked away from him and his parents that day. No more anger at all, no biting words or the fighting spirit that he knows and loves. Both of you just accepted what was to come.

Sirius and Remus approach him later after everyone’s left that they got word that you moved to America. He thinks of what could’ve been, and the thought of your safety is the only thing that lets his mind rest as guilt pushes and pulls at his heartstrings like waves.

He’s spent these months fighting in the war, loving and losing that he thinks this isn’t anything like the white house and picket fence fantasy you both used to cook up. As he grabs his coat to leave, James wonders if by being away from all of this you’ll get to live the life you want. 

—

“Okay honey, hold on tight to mama.” 

Your little boy was almost bouncing off the pavement with a chocolate covered grin, and it makes you laugh harder than it should. Maybe Florean Fortescue’s was not the way to start off your son’s first trip to Diagon Alley, but your new job at the Ministry starts tomorrow and you’ve been missing your favorite stationery. The town was packed with people with the war having ended and trying to start anew. You haven’t seen any familiar faces and maybe years ago that was a bad thing, but hope spreads over Diagon Alley with strangers smiling at Christopher as he skips on the cobblestone, almost tripping over his own feet at the entrance of Flourish and Blotts. 

He runs forward to explore the store as you smile at your creation, letting him wander along the aisles as you have done years before. Being back here is like walking through a memory, and though it used to be home, you know yours is walking around in tiny bright red shoes that light up like his smile. Your fingers flip through the different quills and parchment on display, and after finding everything you need, you hear your son’s laughter in the opposite corner of the shop. Motherly instincts always prevail as your feet guide you to the sound of his voice, since he’s never been one to shy away from a friendly conversation.

“Did you find everything you were looking for, honey?”

James’ head whips up from the tiny boy he was entertaining with color-changing quills to see you, and he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose to make sure he’s seeing properly. The both of you go quiet as time stands still, with Christopher chattering at your feet. 

“Mama! Look at this one, it goes rainbow!” he says, tugging at your coat to see the quill in James’s hand. The pieces start to fit together in James’ mind, looking at your pursed lip, then to the sight of this boy smiling with the innocence he had a lifetime ago. This boy, his son, has your eyes. You shake your head rapidly as he intakes a breath of air.

“Honey?” he whispers, knowing that was his name for you.

“So what, he looks like a honey,” you say defensively, grabbing your son’s hand.

He looks like my son, his eyes say—both of you look down to the child who’s all grins and none the wiser piping up.

“My name’s Topher!” 

“Yes it is, and now it’s time to say goodbye to the nice man, okay?” Topher pouts and looks up at his father without even knowing it, handing him the quill. 

“Keep it. I’ll pay for it, and then you can write to me,” he says almost desperately, losing grip of everything that he’s been trying to convince himself for the past 7 years. 

“Don’t be weird, Potter. Don’t…” you shake your head, eyes misting over. Seeing him again brought back everything. It was already overwhelming to have a kid that’s almost the splitting image of him, to learn of a love so pure after one that’s wrecked you to your core, but being here, within arms reach… You’re 18 again and scrambling away from the corner booth trying to get away from the man you love most not wanting you in return.

“Honey, why don’t you give us a minute to talk? Go find me some cool enchanted stickers for me to bring to work tomorrow, okay?” Your baby runs off without even questioning it, his sense of adventure also inherited from his father.

“I’m…so sorry.” James moves closer to you, and you take a step back sighing humorlessly.

“For what? He’s an amazing kid. Even though… he wasn’t planned, I don’t think I could ever see my life turning out any other way.” You shift your weight to your other foot. He looks, successful, if that’s something he would be proud of. He’s wearing an impressive suit, and his eyes are a bit hardened by the past few years, but his charisma, his smile…. He’s still the boy you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I feel foolish. I was so scared to live my life and then here you are raising our child…” 

You blink softly at his words, and it reminds him of your youth, all doe-eyed and full of want. You used to want him like he still wants you. In front of him is a grown woman, a mother who’s strong and filled with memories and love that he should’ve been a part of.

“Things happen for a reason, James. We both did what we had to do.”

His hand brushes yours, and you realize you’ve been without his touch for 7 years. 7 years of being scrubbed clean of James Potter, and not a single regenerated cell in your body has been touched by him. But your son is of him, so you think that no matter how this ends, there will always be a part of you that loves James too.

You extend an olive branch to have him come to your apartment this weekend and get to talk. He knows he doesn’t deserve this kindness, but you know he deserves to meet his son.

—-

The doorbell rings and you take a deep breath as you open the front door, looking up at him holding a teddy bear for Topher.

“He’s still down for a nap. Let’s go sit in the den.” You say quietly. The hallway is filled with pictures of your boy, and of you in different stages these past few years. He stops at a portrait of your parents with Topher being swung between them.

“Your parents….”

“Were supportive; I wasn’t alone,” you muse, knowing he knows of your strained relationship with them back then.

“They actually just retired early last year. Overworked themselves and finally comfortable, so they help out when they can. What about yours?” Trying to make conversation with your ex is terribly hard, but it’s in good spirit and there’s not much to do until Topher wakes up.

“They passed, actually. Mum at the end of the war, and dad 6 months after. Never wanted to be apart, you know that.”

Your face falls at his revelation, “I’m sorry for your loss. They were amazing people. Taught me what it meant to be a parent, for sure.” Amicable silence fills the living room before you clear your throat.

“I have to be blunt, James. What do you want from this? You must be married and busy, so if Topher can’t fit into that….”

“I’m neither of those things, honey. I want to try and see where this goes,” he says scratching the back of his neck. 

Your heart stops at his endearment, catching yourself looking at him seriously. 

“You can hurt me, but I’m not letting you do that to him. Back then, you were all I ever wanted love to be. And then I had my beautiful baby, and I suddenly knew my love meant more.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. It was a mistake, because I was too proud to accept that I had it good. That what I had was meant for me.” James grabs your hands, begging for you to understand. The lost boy he was is a lifetime away from the man sitting in front of you now. Though it’s touching, you keep your heart guarded because the little boy sleeping down the hall is your biggest priority. You hope he can understand that too.

“He’s not a placeholder for your dreams of wanting a family. You have to build that, I did that myself. I’m not going to let you string him along and then once you have a family of your own, you just up and leave.” 

“I know. I was hoping the both of you could be my family, if you give me the chance.” You bite your lip as your thumb runs against his. It’s easier to forgive than to forget. But for Topher’s sake, you can try. 

“Tell me something James,” you whisper, having needed to know this for the past 7 years.

“Why did you throw it all away? Was the idea of loving me…so terrible?” He tilts your chin up, and you think that the earnest look on his face is the closure you needed to properly forgive him.

“I’ve never stopped loving you. Loving you is the best part of knowing you. Do you think I ever forgot about you?” He chuckles lowly, brushing back a strand of your hair, and you think this could be dangerous if you let yourself get too close. 

“I’ve thought about you everyday for the past 7 years, I just didn’t think I deserved you after everything I’ve done. I was so stupid, I am still. But I’m trying to be better.”

“You think of me but dreamt of her. Was it guilt?” Your hand grabs his as you move it away from your cheek, settling onto your lap. The air around you is suffocating.

“It took time for me to figure out that it was intention. Lily was a distraction. You’ve consumed me since the day I met you. My dreams, my thoughts… All of it is you. I choose to think about you as much as I can, because if I didn’t I was scared I’d forget all the good things about us back then.”

You both hear a thump from your son’s room and realize you’re wiping tears away. James stands up when you do, and both pairs of your socked feet pad closer to your son’s room. 

“We start this slow. We make decisions together, and if there’s any inkling I get that he doesn’t want this, it’s done. You understand?” Your hands are firm on the doorknob as he’s standing close behind you, hanging onto every word.

“Every word. There’s no turning back from this.” He wants to ask another question, but before he can, your hand unconsciously finds his and your grip is so comforting that he notices himself sniffle. 

“If it all goes well, and if you want, we can try again. But that’s in the far distant future, James Potter.”

“Anything you want, honey. That’s the future I’ve been dreaming of.” With you. Your lips quirk into a smile as they brush against his cheek.

Slowly opening the door to both watch your son wake up from his nap, your hand pulls James into the room behind you. Quietly, he sits on the edge of Christopher’s bed, and when his son looks up at him, you both notice the little boy beaming like the sun. 

—-

“Everything you love is very likely to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way.” -Franz Kafka

taglist: @jsjcue

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing:

night shift by lucy dacus & about you by the 1975

[achilles-rage]

Return the Favour

summary: after buck saves reader when her apartment building goes up in flames, they run into each other at a bar. buck's on an awful first date, and reader decides to help him get out of it.

word count: 5.6k

request: I was wondering if i could request a story about Evan Buckley saving a plus size reader for like a fire or some dangerous situation and they're both attracted to each other but neither of them acts on. A few weeks later or so Buck is actually saved by reader while he's on a bad date he's trying to get out of and (like she makes up an excuse for him or plays along with something he says) and he ends up asking her out.

A/N: i'm sorry this took so long but it's finally out and i may have gotten carried away! this was my first buck request, and it was really fun! and i'm so used to writing good luck charm now that i had to search "evan" and change them all to "buck" at the end LOL also i threw in some abby shade, can you find it?? hehe. anyway, enjoy <3

warnings: reader is caught in a fire, no use of y/n, plus size!reader, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader

You wake up in the middle of the night to the fire alarm in your building echoing off the walls of your apartment. You’re immediately disoriented, as the booming sound makes your ears ring and your head spin. You jump out of bed and make your way out to your living room, and your breath catches in your throat when you see the smoke quickly filling the room. You make your way to your front door, but jump back in pain as the flat surface burns the back of your hand.

Dread fills your belly as you look around the room frantically. You see your cat cowering under your kitchen table, and you quickly run to grab her before she hides under anything where you won’t be able to reach her. You grab her and she lets out a loud meow, but you keep her squirmy body in your arms as you make your way to your window.

You’re four storeys up, and your landlord has still not fixed your fire escape, although you’ve been asking for months. Either way, you throw open your window, hoping to get some fresh air as smoke fills your lungs and burns your throat. 

You run to your room and grab your phone, quickly dialing 9-1-1 as tears form in your eyes.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” the operator asks.

“3246 Weston St. My apartment building’s on fire.” you tell her frantically, phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you struggle to get onto the fire escape with your cat still in your arms.

“Yes, we know about that. I see fire escapes on the outside of the building. Can you get down?” she asks you calmly, and you feel an odd sense of calm fill your body as her voice fills your ears.

“It’s broken, there’s no ladder. My landlord won’t fix it.” you tell her softly, squeezing your cat to your chest as more tears start to fall.

“What’s your name?” You answer her, sniffling softly.

“Hi, I’m Maddie. We’re gonna get through this together, okay? There’s already firefighter’s on the scene. Can you tell me what side of the building you’re on?” You shake your head, but then reply quickly, knowing she can’t see you.

“I don’t see any. I’m on the back side of the building, on the fire escape. On the fourth floor.” She mumbles an “okay” as she types on her computer. 

“Alright, I’m sending a team over to you, they’ll be right there. Is it just you in your apartment?”

“Just me and my cat.” you mumble, feeling a little silly at your response. The smoke is starting to waft out onto the fire escape, and it makes you cough loudly.

“I’m gonna stay right here with you, okay? We’re gonna get you down. The firefighters should be there now. Do you see them?” You wait for a moment as you look down at the ground, and your heart drops once you see the bright lights turn the corner.

“I see them.” you whisper, holding your cat tighter as the sirens spook her. You barely even hear Maddie’s response as your heart hammers in your chest. You make your way to the railing of the fire escape, watching as the aerial ladder is extended up to you.

You let out a sigh of relief once two very attractive firefighters are almost up to you on the ladder. You can’t help the embarrassment filling your body as you look down at your oversized shirt, with no bra, just long enough to cover your short spandex shorts, but you’re too happy to finally get off of your fire escape that you don’t care. 

“Eddie, you get the cat, I’ll get her.” one of them speaks, and the other one, Eddie, nods as he holds out his arms towards you.

You let out a soft sigh before you hand your cat to him, watching nervously as he starts making his way down the ladder with your cat twisting around in his arms. Buck takes this moment to trail his eyes down your figure, taking in your thick thighs and soft tummy. You’re absolutely gorgeous, but there’s no time for that.

“Alright, let’s get you down.” Buck tells you, his eyes flicking back up to meet yours. You cross your arms instinctively as your eyes trail down the ladder. He senses your fear, and holds his hands out.

“I’m Buck. What’s your name?” he asks when you don’t make a move to the ladder. He sees the gears turning in your head as you mumble your name, and he smiles softly, rolling it around on his tongue, committing it to memory.

“It’s okay, I’ll be right behind you the whole time.” he says softly, trying to coax you out onto the ladder. Your eyes move to his hands before going back up to his face, and you nod slowly. You put your hands on the railing, ready to hoist yourself over the railing and onto the ladder.

“Alright, I’m gonna hold onto you to keep you steady. Is that okay?” he asks, and you nod as nerves fill your belly. He grabs onto your plush hips firmly as you swing one leg over the railing, and he helps guide your other leg over the ladder until your bare feet are on the ladder. 

“There you go, I got you.” he whispers once you’re pressed against him. He moves one hand off your hip and grips the railing of the ladder, then urges you to start making your way down backwards, with him going down first behind you. 

You close your eyes for a moment and let out a shaky breath, then start to move once you open your eyes again. He keeps one hand on your hip the whole way down, keeping his body tense in case you slip. He tries to keep his eyes respectfully on the back of your head, but he can’t help it when his eyes trail down to your ass, just barely covered by your shorts as your shirt rides up.

“You’re doing so good. Just a few more steps.” he speaks once you’re almost to the bottom of the ladder. You smile softly at his words, despite the way your heart is pounding out of your chest. His presence calms you.

Once you’re finally down on the ground, you turn to him with a shy smile. 

“Thank you.” you say softly, looking up at him.

“Of course. You should get checked out. Make sure you didn’t inhale too much smoke.” he tells you, returning your smile. Now that he has the chance, he studies your face. If he was still the old Buck, he would ask you out, loving your sweet voice, pretty face, and gorgeous body. But he doesn’t date people he meets on the job anymore, and he’s cursing himself for that rule right about now.

You let him take you over to the ambulance, and you’re surprised when he stays there with you. The fire is for the most part out, as a few other stations were also called, so he doesn’t feel bad staying with you. He stands in front of you as Hen checks you out, taking your cat from Eddie while he waits.

He can’t help but strike up a conversation as he pets your cat, desperate to know more about you. He asks where you’re from, and what you do, and even manages to ask if you’re single. He doesn’t flat out ask that question, but after asking about your apartment, he learns that you don’t often have people spending the night, and he’s relieved.

You learn more about him too. You learn that his sister is the operator that you spoke to on the phone, and that he’s from Pennsylvania. He tells you a little about his travels before he landed in LA, but there’s not much time to go into detail, as Hen finishes looking you over quickly.

He hands you back your cat, and your hands brush each other’s as you take her back. You both freeze at the small contact, lingering for a moment too long.

“Well it was nice to meet you. Thanks again.” you trail off as you look up at him. You want to see him again, but you’re sure he’s just this nice with everyone while on the job.

“Yeah, it was nice meeting you too. Do you have somewhere to go tonight?” His voice has a hint of concern, thinking about you having nowhere to go. He lets out a relieved sigh as he sees you nod.

“My friend lives a few blocks away. I can get an Uber over there.” you reply.

“We’ll wait with you. Don’t want you alone out here.” Your smile widens at his kindness, and you can feel your cheeks heating up at his insistence, although you’re sure it’s probably just protocol. You feel butterflies in your tummy at the idea of him wanting to stay, regardless of the reason. 

In reality, he just wants to spend more time with you. He’s on the verge of asking you out, but as your Uber pulls up, he decides he shouldn’t. Maybe it’s better this way, he thinks.

You thank him once again before you get into the Uber, also thanking Eddie and Hen quickly, who are standing back and watching you and Buck with raised brows.

Once you’re in the car and it’s finally out of sight, Hen and Eddie can’t help but laugh. Buck turns to them with furrowed brows, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

“What?” he asks as he fights back a smile, still thinking about you.

“For a second I thought you were gonna invite her to go home with you.” Hen teases him, bumping her shoulder with his as they walk back towards the front of the ambulance, which is right behind the fire truck.

“I don’t date people I meet on the job anymore; you know that.” he says with a soft laugh, shaking his head.

“That’s a shame. You two were really hitting it off.” Eddie adds onto Hen’s teasing, smirking as they all walk side by side.

“Yeah, I know.” Buck murmurs, getting slightly upset. He’s starting to regret not asking for your number; he’s already desperate to see you again. 

He’s forced to push it aside quickly, however, as he hears Bobby’s voice over the radio calling the three of them to the front of the building for triage.

A few weeks later, you’re still staying with your friend, Jordan. You’re lucky, the fire had only gotten to a small part of your apartment, and most of your things were left untouched, but you still aren’t allowed back in your apartment. You immediately told her all about the cute firefighter, of course, and she was almost as upset as you were that you didn’t try to ask him out. 

You can’t help but think about him still; he’s the most attractive guy you think you’ve ever seen, and he’s kind, and funny. Either way, you were way too nervous at the time, and he was on the job. Even if you didn’t meet while he was working, you don’t think you would’ve said anything anyway. And he hadn’t said anything either, so you try your best to forget about him.

Buck spends the next few weeks thinking about you too. He even tried a dating app or two, hoping your photo would pop up on his screen, but to no avail. He thinks about your pretty face often, but his mind also seems to wander to your soft curves, and how your thick thighs were on full display for him to take in in your shorts.

He finally agreed to go out with another girl he met on an app, deciding he should just move on rather than driving himself crazy. He knows he could ask Maddie to pull up the call log and he could get your number, but he knows that would be weird. And a little bit creepy.

He’s sitting in a small bar close to his apartment, a small, absent-minded smile on his face as he stares across the table at his date. This is the longest date he thinks he’s ever had. It was very clear as soon as his date started talking that she has no interest in actually getting to know him, the first give away being that she chose the dimly lit dive bar. While he wouldn’t necessarily say no to it, that’s not really what he’s looking for anymore. 

He’s listening to a story of when she went on vacation to Colombia when he hears a soft laugh coming from the bar. His eyes trail over and see you standing there, talking to what he assumes is two of your friends.

His throat goes dry as he takes in your figure, studying your soft curves and slightly revealing outfit. He can hardly hear the woman across from him now, studying your every move and expression.

He tears his eyes away from you after a moment and refocuses on his date, not wanting to seem rude. He keeps his eye on you out of the corner of his eye, however, ready to run after you if you leave before his date ends.

He keeps listening to his date, who has barely let him get a word in, but he looks very clearly bored. He can’t help it; he tries to reply every time she pauses, but his heart is pounding. He finally found you, and it was a complete coincidence. Like fate.

You don’t notice Buck right away; you’re so wrapped up in your little girls night out to even look around the bar. It’s not until your friend Jordan points to him, saying how hot he is, that your eyes finally land on him.

You can’t help the smile that breaks onto your face, and your eyes are trained on him for a few seconds until Jordan’s voice finally breaks through your haze.

“What?” she asks with a small laugh, and her smile fades when she sees the way you look over at her with a dazed expression

“It’s him. The firefighter.” you tell her, biting your lip as you look back over at him.

“You have to go talk to him. Before you lose him again.” Jordan tells you with a gasp as your other friend, Alyssa, asks what the hell you two are talking about.

Jordan explains to Alyssa while you think her words over. You don’t think you have it in you to go over. Maybe if you were much more drunk than you are right now, but currently, you wouldn’t be able to will your feet to move. 

“He’s on a date. I can’t just interrupt them. And what would I even say?” you argue softly once she’s finished explaining, looking over at Jordan. You chew the inside of your cheek nervously. The girl he’s with is gorgeous, and you begin to think that he was definitely just being so nice to you because he was working.

“Look at him. He looks so bored. He definitely doesn’t want to be there. Go save him.” Alyssa chimes in after she’s caught up, eyes glancing between you and him.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t.” you mumble, turning back to the bar and ordering a cocktail once you flag down the bartender. 

“Actually, we’ll just get 4 shots.” Alyssa says, smirking as she looks at you sideways. “You just need a shot or two in you, then you’ve gotta get over there. Before it’s too late. You’re gonna regret it if you don’t.” she tells you once the bartender walks away to get the bottle. 

You sigh, shaking your head. But before you can speak, the bartender puts the shots down on the table in front of you. Jordan immediately puts a shot in your hand and lifts it to your lips. You begrudgingly swallow it, letting in a sharp inhale as you feel it burning your throat. 

Your friends then each grab a shot and throw them back, then Alyssa grabs the last shot and holds it out to you.

“Come on, you just need some courage.” she teases, and you roll your eyes again before you take the shot. You were planning on drinking tonight anyway, and whether or not you’re going to go up to him, you figure you might as well take the shots. 

A little while later, you can feel the alcohol coursing through your veins. You’ve been swaying softly to the music as you talk to your friends, but your eyes never stray far from Buck. You always end up looking at each other at different times, so neither of you know that the other person knows of each other's presence. 

“I think now is your chance. He looks ready to kill himself.” Jordan tells you over the music, and all three of you look over at Buck’s table. He has a smile on his face, but his eyes lack any real emotion. 

You take a deep breath, and before you can even think, you let out a soft “okay.” Your friends smile widely, both taking turns to fix various parts of your appearance to make sure you look perfect. Jordan smooths down your top while Alyssa fixes your necklace, and then they both look up into your eyes.

“Go get him. Your ass looks great in those jeans, he’s gonna love it.” You feel your cheeks heating up at Alyssa’s words and you laugh softly. You can feel your hands shaking, but you quickly push your nerves aside and finally make your way over to him. He saved you once, and now it’s time for you to return the favour, although this situation is much lower stakes. 

“Oh my God, Buck! Hey!” you say once you reach his table, a large smile on your face. His eyes are on you in an instant, and he smiles widely, unable to stop his eyes trailing down to your cleavage peeking out of your top.

You open your arms, and he stands up quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist while you loop yours around his neck. 

“Do you want help getting out of this date?” you whisper in his ear, and you smirk as you feel his slight nod against your skin. “Follow my lead.”

You pull back, barely even looking at his date as you continue to speak. You’re glad he said yes, or else this would be really awkward.

“I haven’t seen you in forever! How have you been?” You don’t even give him the chance to reply before you turn to the girl.

“How do you know my ex-boyfriend? He’s a handful, I’ll tell you that. Good luck.” you tell her with a smirk. You turn back to Buck and look at him with as much desire in your eyes as you can muster, not that it’s hard, and he matches your expression immediately. 

You know this will work; most girls don’t want to have to deal with a guy that’s still so close with their ex. You see the girl’s face fall slightly from the corner of your eye, and you look back to her, waiting for her answer.

“Oh, um, we don’t really know each other that well.” she replies with a small smile, and you can see the way she tenses slightly, starting to feel a little awkward.

“Lucky you.” you tell her with a soft laugh, looking back up at Buck, whose arm has found its way around your waist. Even still, he keeps his hand hovering over your skin, just close enough for no one else to notice, not wanting to make you uncomfortable just in case you came over just to be nice. 

“I’m sorry. I should let you get back to your date.” you tell her, an apologetic look on your face, although your eyes have no hint of remorse. “Oh, and Buck, are you still coming over tomorrow night? My roommate’s going out of town.” you tell him, licking your lips. He nods, in a daze. He knows you’re not being serious, but he can’t fight the images that his mind is creating. 

“Actually, it’s getting pretty late. I should probably go.” she mutters, standing up from the table and putting her purse over her shoulder. “It was nice to meet you. I’ll text you.” she tells Buck softly, but all three of you know she doesn’t really mean it. 

Once she’s out of sight, you turn to Buck, suddenly feeling your brain catching up to your actions. He senses your quick flip, and removes his arm from your waist, mumbling a quick “sorry.” 

“No, you’re good. I just don’t normally do stuff like this, and I’m just now realizing that. I’m sorry, maybe I had too much to drink.” you admit sheepishly, your face growing hot once again as you feel yourself rambling.

“No, I appreciate it. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about you since we met. I was gonna ask you out, but I sort of have this rule that I don’t date people I meet on the job.” he tells you, smiling down at you. He licks his lips as his eyes trace your face, studying it, memorizing it. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. He wanted to ask you out? The thought makes your stomach flip in excitement, and it causes a new wave of confidence to flow through you. 

“Well, you’re not working right now, right?” you tease him softly, a hopeful look on your face. 

“Yeah, I guess not. How about I buy you a drink?” he replies, his smile morphing to a smirk. You nod slowly, so focused on him that you don’t even think about your friends watching you from across the bar. 

You decide on something without alcohol instead once you get to the bar, not wanting to risk a hangover the next day. Your friends realize quickly that you aren’t coming back to hang out with them, and they’re happy for you. They keep an eye on you for an hour or so, but when they realize how into each other you are, they decide to leave.

You talk for hours, talking about anything and everything, until the bartender does final call, and you both realize how long you’ve been talking. 

“I guess I should get home.” you say with a sigh. Your cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much, and you’ve drifted so close together over the last few hours that you don’t even notice his leg has settled between yours as you sit on the bar stools. You wouldn’t have to lean very far to connect your lips, you think to yourself.

“Or, you could come back to mine?” he asks with hope in his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t be asking you this; he wants to take you on a proper date first, but with the way you’re looking at him, he can’t stop the words that slip from his mouth. You bite your lip as you fight back a smile, but nod after a moment.

“Okay.” you murmur, and that’s all it takes for him to grab your hand and drag you to his jeep, but not before slamming some cash on the bar counter. You laugh as he drags you outside, amused by his eagerness. Once he gets to his jeep he pushes you against it, meeting your lips in a passionate kiss. 

A soft noise escapes the back of your throat as your back hits the door, but you happily kiss him back. Your arms make their way around his neck again and one hand lands in his hair, your fingers weaving through it. He keeps his hands on your hips, but he’s itching to touch you everywhere. 

He pulls back after a moment and opens the door, his pupils blown and his jeans getting tighter. You smile up at him and then get into the jeep, watching him dreamily as he makes his way to the driver’s side. 

He keeps his hand on your thigh the whole way home, rubbing your inner thigh with his thumb. He squeezes your flesh every now and then, smiling over at you each time, and once he pulls into his building parking lot, he’s quick to jump out of the car and jog over to your side. 

He keeps his hands on you the entire way up to his apartment, trailing up your sides, and once you walk into his apartment, he pushes you against the wall and meets your lips again in a dizzying kiss. 

He slides his tongue into your mouth, and both of your hands are clawing at each other, eager for more. His hands travel down to the back of your thighs, and he whispers “jump” against your lips. You hesitate for a moment, nervous about him lifting you up. He picks up on your hesitancy and pulls back for a moment with a smirk. He grabs the back of your thighs hard and lifts you up, pinning your back to the wall once again.

His lips are immediately back on you, kissing and nipping down your neck to your collarbone. You’re so focused on his lips on you that you barely have time to react to his strength. You’re not used to being lifted like this, and it makes desire pool between your legs. 

He pulls back from your neck and pulls you off the wall, keeping his hands under your thighs as he moves to the stairs. You look over your shoulder at where he’s heading, and your arms tighten around his neck as you laugh softly. Your head is spinning as he walks up the stairs; he lifts you up so effortlessly, and you can’t wait to see how else he puts his strength to use. 

He throws you onto his bed, staring down at you as you sit up on your elbows, chest rising and falling rapidly as lust overtakes every sense. He smirks as he takes in your body sprawled out on his bed. He looks down your body, taking in your chest, and your plush belly, and your thick thighs, and he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” he mumbles before he grabs your ankles and pulls you towards the end of the bed, making you squeal softly.

The next morning, you wake up naked in a room you don’t recognize, as you were too focused on Buck last night to notice anything around you. The events from last night flood your mind as you feel an arm firmly draped across your waist, and you can’t help the smile that breaks onto your face. 

You can hear his steady breathing from behind you, and you know he’s still asleep. It’s probably early, you think, as the hint of light coming in from the bedroom window looks like the sun hasn’t quite broken over the horizon.

You try to move his arm slowly, seeing his bathroom door connected to his bedroom. As you do, you feel his grip tighten, and he pulls you tighter against him.

“Where do you think you’re going? I just found you again, I’m not letting you go this soon.” he teases in a raspy voice, just barely above a whisper. You laugh softly and turn in his grip to face him, smiling as you take in his sleepy eyes and soft smile.

“I’m just going to the bathroom.” you whisper back, as if trying not to ruin the calmness surrounding you both. He groans, and finally releases you after a moment, but not before he leans in for a soft kiss. He turns to lay on his back, folding his arms behind his head to watch you walk to the bathroom. He smirks as his eyes observe your bare figure, licking his lips.

Once you’re done in the bathroom, you go back to bed, laying on your side beside him and resting your cheek on his chest. He grabs your thigh as you drape your leg across his hips, humming softly as he feels your soft skin. 

“You want some breakfast?” he asks after a little while, giving you both some time to wake up. You raise your head and rest your chin on his chest as you look up at him, nodding. He smiles as his eyes glance across your face, admiring the way the sun is hitting your face, having finally breached the horizon. 

He then leans down to give you a soft kiss, his hand moving from your thigh to your cheek. Once he pulls away, you keep your eyes closed for a moment, reveling in his touch and warm gaze.

“What kind of breakfast?” you whisper once you open your eyes. He shrugs before he speaks, still trying not to disrupt the comfortable quiet surrounding you.

“Anything you want. Eggs, waffles. I’m pretty skilled in the kitchen.” he teases, winking. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. How is he still single? Cute, kind, smart, and a good cook? You can’t believe it.

“Do you have strawberries and blueberries?” you ask softly, smiling once he nods. “Let’s make waffles.” 

He nods at your words, sighing loudly and stretching before he sits up slowly. You move off of him and watch as he gets up and puts on some grey sweatpants, and your eyes wander down his body quickly, making him chuckle. 

You get up and find your bra and panties on his floor, putting them on quickly. You debate on putting back on your jeans and top from last night, afraid Buck’s shirt wouldn’t fit you in a cute oversized way, but you decide against it. It’s too early for jeans, and with the way he was worshiping your body last night, you don’t think he’d turn down the opportunity of watching you walking around his kitchen so exposed.

He pulls you into another kiss once you’re semi-dressed, his hands making their way to your cheeks. You smile against his lips, and bite your lip gently once you pull back, and he keeps his eyes closed for a moment. 

“Jump.” he whispers after a moment, and you oblige this time, letting him lift you in his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist as he makes his way to the stairs.

“You really don’t have to carry me everywhere, you know.” you say with a soft laugh. You turn your head to watch where he’s going, arms tightening around his neck instinctively as he reaches the stairs.

“Nuh uh, come on. I saw your face last night. Don’t lie, you love it.” he teases you, squeezing your thighs. You shake your head and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment as you realize that he noticed. 

Once you get to the kitchen he sets you down on the counter, his hands lingering on your hips as he tries to memorize the sight of you, almost naked on his kitchen counter, your soft belly on full display for him. He backs away slowly as he takes one final look, then turns and starts grabbing ingredients from the pantry and fridge. 

You notice he’s making waffles from scratch, and your heart swells at the thought of him putting in so much effort. You try to tell him you can help, but he cuts you off, insisting that all he wants you to do is to “sit there and look pretty,” which makes you giggle. You can’t help feeling giddy around him; you feel like a lovesick teenager.

Once he’s finished with breakfast, you slide off the counter and make your way to the kitchen table. He brings the berries, the maple syrup, and some whipped cream over, and you both dig in.

He waits to see your reaction, and grins widely when he sees you moan softly in contentment, closing your eyes. You look over at him as he admires you, and you look down, smiling softly, not used to this kind of attention. 

“Can I take you out?” he asks you halfway through breakfast. He chuckles softly as you look up at him with a raised brow, and he reaches up to wipe a bit of whipped cream off your upper lip. 

“You already took me out.” you reply softly, licking your lips after his thumb brushes over them.

“That doesn’t count, we just happened to be there at the same time. I want to take you out for real. A nice dinner, maybe a walk or something after, get some ice cream. What do you say?” he corrects you, giving you a wink. You smile, nodding as you mumble a soft “okay.” 

Once you’re finished with breakfast, he leads you to the couch and wraps a blanket around both of you. You’re leaning against his chest and his arm is draped on the back of the couch behind you, which makes your stomach flip.

He turns on a movie, but you’re too busy talking and laughing with each other to really pay attention. As he looks down at your pretty face, his smile stays plastered to his face. He’s so glad he agreed to that God awful date, and that you were willing to help him out of it, because now that he has you, he never wants to let you go.

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[lyjen]

When you’re home

A request by @shauna-carsley ☺️

Summary: She always texts or calls him when she’s home safe. But when she doesn’t, Evan gets worried. Until he goes on a call and meets her there. But not in the way Evan hoped to see her.

9-1-1 Masterlist

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“Yes, I did bought you cocoa powder like you asked me to. But you do realise it’s a little bit too hot outside to be drinking hot chocolate right?” (Y/n) said as she walked through the exit of the grocery store. Her phone was in her right hand, holding it to her ear. While a paper sack filled with groceries was resting between her body and her left arm.

Evan chuckled through the phone at her words. “Yeah I know. It’s not for hot chocolate though.” He answered her question. A confused frown appeared on her face as she continued to walk down the street. “Well.. Are you gonna tell me why you made me buy it?” She asked him. “Hmm. You know what? No, you’ll see it for yourself tonight.” Evan’s voice answered back. “Wh-“ As (y/n) wanted to react at what Evan told her, she hears a loud alarm through the phone. “Oh, shit. Gotta go. What did you want to say?” his voice sounded through the phone.

A soft chuckle left her mouth as she shook her head at Evan’s sudden rush in his voice. Somehow, whenever Evan was on shift and called with (Y/n) on the phone, the alarm would go off.

“Nothing, just.. be careful, and I love you.”

A smile appeared on Evan’s face when she said those exact words. It made his heart melt right on the spot, just like it did when she said it the first time about 10 years ago. They met when they went to high school together. In senior year, to be exact.

As Evan wants to say something to end the call, he hears a familiar voice calling his name. “Buck! Quit chit chatting with my sister, we’ve got to go!” Eddie’s voice sounded through the station. “Yeah, yeah! I’m coming Diaz!” He yells back at his best friend. He hears (Y/n)’s giggle through the speaker of his phone which he was holding against his ear. He sighs.

“I love you too. I’ll see you tonight. Text me when you’re home, okay?” Evan says. He always wanted to make sure that she’d get home safe. Even if it was just a small text that contained an emoji of a house, or the exact words, or just a phone call. “Hmm, I will... be safe out there.” and with those words she clicked on the red button to end the phone call.

(Y/n) locked her phone again and put it into the small shoulder bag she had with her. It couldn’t hold much, but held the necessary things such as her: phone, wallet and keys. That was enough. She readjusted the weight she was holding between her body and her left arm, and switched it to her right arm. That was the arm that had more strength and endurance.

She continues her way home, which was maybe fifteen to twenty minutes away. She passes by street after street in the LA weather. (Y/n) comes to a stop when she clicks the button to turn the pedestrian traffic light to green. She waits for a few seconds, but when the lights jumps from red to green, she steps with her feet on the asphalt and starts walking towards the other end of the pedestrian crossing.

She hears the sound of squealing tires coming from not too far from her. Her head shot towards her right, as she sees the source of the sound turning around the corner with a rapidity definitely above the speed limit. The car was swinging from the left to the right like it was possessed. (Y/n) has no time to react to what is happening.

But before she knew it, the bag with groceries was blown out of her right arm and she was facing the blue sky.

Her ears are ringing. An annoying high frequency noise is ringing through her ears. (Y/n)’s vision was blurry and partly overexposed. It was like someone was shining a flashlight in her face, and wouldn’t turn it off. She could hear muffled voices, but she couldn’t hear clearly what they were saying. It was like her ears were underwater. Her head felt like it was beating out of her skin.

She squeezes her eyes shut to try and let her eyes get used to the bright light. But it wouldn’t stop. Until a figure starts hoovering over her body.

Evan hopped down the steps of the truck following Eddie out. His mouth left a sigh, as he shrugged off his florescent jacket and hang it underneath his last name. Before he could let go of his jacket, the loud alarm rang again through the firehouse. His eyes closed as he sighs again. “Ah come on!” he says with a defeated look. He just wanted to take a shower. He felt dirty, his body was sweating, his face was full with ashes from last call.

He could hear Eddie laughing at his reaction. “Okay who said the Q-word?” Evan says as he looks at every person around him now. They didn’t answer, they just put on their jackets and hopped back into the truck. Evan sighs as he rips his florescent jacket from the hook and also took place in the truck.

The drive was quiet. Everyone was tired from last call, they wanted to eat, drink and relax for a bit. “Somebody must have said the Q-word. Otherwise this would not have happened.” Evan says, still sure of his conclusion. Nobody reacted to his words, Evan looked around him in the back of the truck. Waiting for someone to respond to him. “Ravi.” Is the only thing what left Eddie’s mouth. “Yeah I know right! It must’ve been him! I told hi-“ Evan reacts. “No. Ravi.” Eddie cuts him off as he points outside the window.

When the truck came to a stop, they immediately left the rig. Evan saw Ravi walking towards Bobby. “Buck, Eddie, stand by. Hen and Chim follow me.” Bobby ordered. Eddie and Evan had to stay back because if they needed equipment, it was faster. Instead of them running back and forth.

Evan in the meanwhile had now time to check his phone. He let his back fall against the truck as he grabs his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks his screen to take a look at his notifications. “Hmm” he made a think-full noise. Eddie lets himself fall with his back against the truck too. “What’s up?” Eddie asked when he heard Evan’s confused sound. “Before our last call, I was calling with (Y/n).” Evan started. “Yes.. and?” Eddie answered with a confused look projected on his face. “I always tell her to text me when she gets home. But it has been.. what?.. One hour since we called and she still hasn’t texted me.” He tells with a worried voice. “Maybe she went to another store? Or simply forgot.” Eddie tries to calm him down before he makes any other conclusions like the Q-word from a few minutes ago. “Eddie, Buck, I need a backboard and another medic bag here.” He hears Bobby’s voice through the radio. “Copy that cap.” Eddie answered Bobby through his radio, and he patted his hand on Evan’s shoulder.

He nodded. Maybe Eddie was right, maybe Evan was just seeing things that weren’t there. He clicks on the on/off button to lock his phone again and let it slide back into his pocket. He opens the compartment to slide out the backboard while Eddie gets the medic bag. As suddenly Bobby is walking towards Buck and Eddie.

“Something wrong cap? Do you need anything?” Buck asks, while he closes the compartment. “I think you both may want to sit this one out.” Is the only thing Bobby says. A confused look spreads over Evan’s and Eddie’s face. Bobby never said that to him. The only time he said that was when he got back from revalidation, after the fire truck accident. Evan and Eddie look at each other, asking each other without any words what the hell was going on. “Uhm.. why?” Evan asks Bobby. As he looks to his side to try and peek at the scene. “You both are too personal involved at this call, I’m just trying to look out for you.” Bobby says.

Too personal involved? What did that mean? Who was close to Eddie and him? The question was ringing through Evan’s head while Eddie was talking with Bobby now. Until it hit him. Literally a minute ago he was talking about his girlfriend, his guts were telling him something wasn’t right.

Shit.

Bobby ends the conversation with both Eddie and Evan and turns to walk away. When Evan stops him in his movement by grabbing his arm. “Is it (Y/n)?” Evan asks with a trembling voice as he lets go of his captains arm. Bobby’s eyes shot from Eddie to Evan. And softly nodded his head. “Yes. It’s (Y/n).” He confirms.

Evan felt like the world was suddenly on fire and broke down piece, by piece.

Evan grabbed the backboard he had already out and put it underneath his arm. “Too personal involved my ass.” Evan’s voice spoke as he passed Bobby and ran as fast as he could with the backboard he was carrying. As he comes closer, and closer. He recognises the dress out of a thousand. It was the dress (y/n) wore this morning when he left the house to go on shift this exact morning. It’s the dress she wore on their date night two weeks ago. The green dress that made him go crazy. But that green dress was now partly underneath a car. Her groceries were spread over the whole scene. He was sure he passed by a package of cocoa in his speed.

Evan drops the backboard he was carrying when he was close enough to his girlfriend. She was sobbing. Chimney was sitting at her side, while Hen was in the car dealing with the driver. Evan kneeled down on the ground next to the side of (Y/n). “Hey.. hey, I’m here. I’m with you.” Evan says as he grabs her free hand. “Buck?” She cries. She has a neck brace around her neck. “I’m here baby.” He says softly as he brings his mouth towards her hand and plants a kiss on it. He was panicking. “You’re gonna be okay.” He reassured her.

The driver was already evacuated from his car. “Vitals are trembling downwards” Chimney says as he rips his stethoscope from his ears. “Alright, let’s get her out from underneath the car. Get her on the backboard and transported right now!” Bobby orders his crew. Evan grabbed the backboard he had dropped beside him just a minute ago. And put it down right above her head, so they could slide her from underneath the car on the backboard in one smooth movement. “Ready? On three. One.. two… three.” And with that she was on the backboard. The puddle of blood from her head was still lying on the asphalt.

One more time they counted down to three as they pulled up the backboard and put (y/n) on the gurney. The gurney gets pushed into the back of the ambulance.

(Y/n)’s eyes starts rolling as she goes unconscious. “We’re losing her! We’ve got to intubate her.” Eddie says as he rips off his stethoscope. Chimney stops Eddie from getting a tube out of one of the compartments. “When you put that tube in, there’s a chance it will never come back out.” Chimney warns Eddie, it was his sister after all. Eddie looks at Evan, waiting for his answer. Evan closes his eyes for one millisecond. As he nods in agreement to intubate her, he knew that if they waited any longer, he’d lose her. “I’m going with her.” Evan says as he joined Eddie in the back of the ambulance, and the backdoors closed.

_________

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Evan feels like he is going crazy. Eddie and Evan have been here for hours, drinking the grossest hospital coffee to stay awake. The rest of the 118 stops by every now and then, with food and drinks.

“(Y/n) Diaz?” A doctor calls through the waiting room. Eddie and Evan both stand up, and walk towards the doctor. “Follow me please.” The female doctor says as she walks through the hall way. This was weird. This has never happened before. Normally they would tell the family the results in the waiting room. Something wasn’t right. “Take a seat.” she says as she points at the two chairs in front of what Evan assumed to be her desk. Both of them take place, as Evan’s heartbeat started to fasten. The doctor sat down in her office chair and flipped open the folder with documents. She shortly introduces herself to the two men, as she continues to bring the news of (y/n). “Due to the accident, mrs Diaz suffered a severe head trauma, together with a broken left leg and a possible spinal injury.” the doctor says. Both Eddie and Evan are silent. Evan’s heart starts pounding like it was trying to leave his chest. And he starts tapping his feet at the ground in a fast rhythm. “Im sorry I don’t have any better news than this now.” She continued as she tries to fill the silence in the room. Evan sighs as he tries to calm himself down. He was scared.

“Okay but.. how is she doing? Is she awake?” Eddie asks the doctor. The doctor is looking down at the documents. “We’ve worked on her left leg, she has now pins and screws helping to heal the bones in her leg. Due to her spinal injury, I’m afraid she may suffer paralysis to the lower body.. I can’t say if this is temporary or permanent. As for your question if she’s awake, I’m afraid she’s not. She’s in a coma, because of the head injury, and she’s also still intubated.” The doctor explains the situation.

It felt for Evan like the world was falling apart. At this moment, everything that was being said turned into muffled sounds. The kind of sounds you’d hear if you were falling a sleep. “How did this even happen?” Eddie asked the doctor. “We did a few tests on the driver, and it turned out he was under the influence of alcohol.” Evan looked up at the doctor, but he doesn’t say anything. A thousand different emotions are projected on his face and rushing through his veins. His heart tightened in his chest at the words that just came out of the doctor’s mouth. Evan could hear his breathing become more and more rapid. He could still hear how Eddie and the doctor were talking, discussing some things.

But for Evan it’s becoming all too much. He has the feeling that he needs to leave the room. Right. Fucking. now. In one fast movement he stands up and storms out of the room. He hears how the door slams shut behind him, as he grabs his chest to try and calm himself down. He walks down the hall and slams with his fist on the first wall he sees. Tears were welling in his eyes. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this.

He lets his back fall against the wall and let himself slide downward. He closes his arms around his knees, as tears rolls down his cheeks. He sobs. He couldn’t believe how his world got turned upside down in a flash.

“I think it’s better for you if you take a break, Buck.” Eddie told Evan. He hasn’t left the room since he came in this morning. Eddie puts his hand on Evan’s shoulder, and gave him a soft squeeze. Evan knew Eddie was just looking out for him, so he knew it was best to not go against Eddie. Evan just nods, leaves a soft kiss on (y/n)’s hand and patted Eddie on his shoulder before he left the room.

“Hey sis..” he starts, as he takes place on the chair where Evan was sitting just a few seconds ago. He sighs. “Mi dios, I don’t even know what to say..” he continued. He lays his right hand on hers, which was connected with the IV tube. He lets his eyes wander over her bruised body and the tube that was in her mouth. He sighs at the sight of it. “It breaks my heart, seeing you like this..” he goes on after a minute of silence. It was his little sister, lying in the hospital bed. He was closest to (y/n) than to any of his other sisters. He could tell her everything.

Eddie takes a look behind him and sees how Evan is standing in front of the window with his back towards the room. Eddie could sense that Evan was struggling with himself, he didn’t know how to act or how to feel.

“You know how Buck is with emotions. But I can see he’s reaching his breaking point.” He says as he turns back towards (y/n). The beeps and other sounds make Eddie feel sick. It felt like Eddie was reliving everything what happened with Shannon all over again. “I can tell you, it’s not just Buck who’s reaching his breaking point.. I’m trying to stay strong for you and for Chris.. but the truth is, I don’t know how much longer I can do this (y/n).” Eddie continues. His voice is breaking, sounding like he could burst out in tears with a snap of his fingers.

It has been a week since the accident, both Evan and Eddie were here for as long as they could each day. Eddie still had Chris to look after, but luckily his Abuela was there whenever he needed her. Chris went on and on asking about his aunt (Y/n), where she was, how she was doing.. But every single time Chris would mention her, Eddie could feel his heart racing in his chest. He didn’t want to worry Chris. So he just told him that she was busy.

“Please.. I need you to fight. Fight to come back to us. Because.. I don’t know if I can survive another loss. Especially if it’s you.” He tries to wipe away his tears with his left hand, while he squeezes hers with his right hand. “Buck can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Not like this..” he cries. He couldn’t stop his tears.

He cried until there weren’t any tears left to cry, Eddie is still sitting in the chair. His left elbow leaning on his left knee to give him some support, as his right hand still remained on her hand. Eddie was just looking at his feet, thinking about all different kind of scenarios of what could happen. Eddie flinched as someone touches his shoulder. It was Evan with two cardboard to go cups in his hands. “Here..” Evan says as he holds out the cardboard cup towards Eddie. “Thanks.” He says as he accepts the cup from Evan with his left hand, and puts it on the small table next to the chair he was sitting on.

As suddenly the fingers of her left hand he was holding, started to move. He could feel the small movements underneath the palm of his hand. Slowly he moved his head, so he could look at her hand. Her fingers were definitely moving. His eyes shot towards her face. Eddie stood up from his chair as he took place next to the side of her bed. “Eddie? What’s wrong?” Evan’s voice said when he puts his coffee down on the same small table. Evan took place next to the other side of the bed.

“She moved..” Eddie says, not really knowing if this was real or not. “Wait. what?” Evan reacts as he looks at Eddie. “She moved her fingers Buck. Look.” Eddie says as he removes his hand off hers. Evan takes a look at her hand, he could see her fingers twitching.

Evan’s eyes wandered towards her face. Her eyelids were slowly opening. Eddie pushed the alarm button in the room for a doctor or nurse to get in and help. Step by step, her eye lids opened wider and wider. Until she was fully conscious. A smile appeared on Evan’s face when his eyes met hers. But her face went to a scared look when she realised what was happening. Her leg was torturing her and it felt like her head was about to explode. She wanted to scream but feels like she can’t. Panic rushed through her veins. She wanted to feel what was on her face, connecting to her mouth. But before her right hand could touch it, Evan stopped her by grabbing her hand. “No.. no.” He whispered when he grabbed her hand en put it on his chest. Tears are leaving the corner of her eyes.

___________

Temporary paralysis to the lower body. That is what she got from crossing the street with a green light. Together with some cruel nightmares. Every time when she closed her eyes she would relive that same moment. She would wake up crying, screaming and sweating.

(Y/n) is sitting in her wheelchair as she tries to reach for her keys, which were lying on the kitchen island. She reaches out as far as she could, basically pushing her body almost into the wooden construction of the kitchen. She sighs. This isn’t gonna work. Evan was sleeping, he came home late from shift last night. She didn’t want to wake him and ask him to grab her keys if she was so close to getting it herself. (Y/n) just had to push through. She could do this.. right?

The last weeks she had appointments with a physiotherapist, to try and get her ability to walk back again. But there weren’t any results yet. She was getting impatient, it was like everything she did all the trouble she went through, didn’t do anything for her legs.

(Y/n) puts her hands on the arm rests of the wheelchair she was sitting in, and with all her strength she has in her arms pushes herself to her feet. For a second, it feels like she’s the old (y/n) again. But then with all of gravity’s help, she falls to the side with her butt on the ground. “For fuck sake!” She yells, as she pushes the wheelchair with every single piece of annoyance and anger she has in her to the other side of the room. She didn’t want to have anything to do with it. She can walk. She knows it. She did it before this stupid accident so she can do it again. She didn’t need a wheelchair.

A loud bang roars through the room.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She feels like a failure. Frustrated she puts her hands in her hair and starts pulling some hairs from her scalp.

Evan shot up at the sound of a bang. With sleepy eyes, which were still half closed. He sweeps his arm beside him, searching for his girlfriend. “(Y/n)?” He says softly as he now takes a look beside him and doesn’t spot her. He pulls off the covers and steps out of bed as he makes his way through his house, searching for his girlfriend.

“(Y/n)?” Her name sounds through the house. His eyes fall on the wheelchair which was now in the corner of the kitchen. He furrowed his brows, as he notices it. Evan hears a soft sob. He follows the sound, but then he sees his girlfriend between the kitchen island and the counter, on the ground. With tears falling down her face.

“Hey! Hey! hey! What happened?” Evan asks with a concerned voice as he rushes to her side, letting himself fall down on his knees. She didn’t answer. He puts a hand on her shoulder, as he tries to make eye contact with her.

Still no answer.

Evan lets himself sit down on his butt next to her, as he crosses his legs. His hand which was on her shoulder, now makes its way towards her back as he makes small circles on it. Once again he tries to make eye contact with her.

“I can’t..” she sobs.

“You can’t.. what?” He asks confused. She wipes her hand underneath her eyes, as she tries to wipe away some tears. “Do simple shit. Like getting my fucking keys from the damn’ kitchen counter.” She cries.

Evan’s mouth left out a sigh. He moves himself to sit more across of her. Pieces of hair were sticking to her face because of the tears. He brushes a few strands of hair behind her ear. His fingers trace down from her ear towards her cheek.

“But.. We’ve come so far..” he starts. “Buck! I’ve been doing this for weeks now, maybe months.. and I still don’t see any fucking progress.” she yells as she bangs her fist on the side of the kitchen island.

“That time will come. You just need to be patient.” Evan tried to reassure her. “Time. Yeah.. sure. How much fucking time does it need?!” she continued on. “(Y/n)-“ he starts. “And don’t you dare to say ‘I know how you feel’ because you fucking don’t!” (Y/n) snapped back at Evan.

Evan shook his head.

“Oh so.. I haven’t been pinned down by a firetruck? I haven’t broke my leg and not been able to work for months, just like you? I haven’t been stuck in a wheelchair just like you?” Evan shot back at her. “It’s not the same.” She said under her breath, as she started fidgeting with her fingers. And looks down at her hands.

“You know what.. you’re right…” (Y/n) looked up at Evan as he said that. “I don’t know how it feels to be stuck to that chair. To not feel your own legs. But what I do know is that I had someone to rely on. And that person was you. You dragged me through that horrible period of my life.” Evan said while he intensely looked into her eyes. He had to make sure the message came over. “So right now. I need you to do the damn’ same. So go ahead, push me away. Punch me, I don’t care. But I will still be here at the end of the day. For you. Because I love you.” Evan ended his speech.

She just looks at him. A moment of silence seemed to be created in between the yelling of (Y/n) and the speech of Evan.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers. As tears were again rolling down her cheeks. “Come here..” Evan says as he reels her into him. He cupped one hand on the back of her head, and rested the other hand around her waist. She sobs into the crook of his neck, a wet spot seems to be created on his t shirt. He plants a kiss on the side of her head.

“We’ll be alright..”

[transform4u]

I’m a up and coming gay college freshman, definitely more focused on the academic end of things. any chance I could have a real straight bro’s college experience?

You stand in front of your dorm room mirror, adjusting your outfit for the night. It's not just any party—you're getting ready for Alistair's party, the only other guy as smart as you, yet also your longtime rival. The rivalry goes back to high school where you competed fiercely for top grades, and Alistair never quite forgave you for being valedictorian. You'd hoped attending a top university would keep you apart, but fate had other plans. Now, you share nearly every class and club, constantly crossing paths in classes, dorms, cafeterias, and even at GSA meetings.

High school rumors painted you and Alistair as boyfriends, a hilarious misconception given your rivalry. You were the charming, kind geek with a hidden cuteness, while Alistair was awkward, intensely bookish, and secretly jealous of your easy charm and looks. He was deeply into Star Wars, whereas you had every episode of Doctor Who on DVD and even dressed as the 14th Doctor last year.

Tonight, you had hoped Alistair's party invitation signaled a truce, a chance to bury the hatchet and start fresh. But stepping into his dimly lit dorm room, bathed in red lights and adorned with an emo witchy goth aesthetic, you feel a strange tension in the air. Tacky Star Wars posters clash with shirtless pin-ups of Tom Holland and Chris Evans, and Alistair's black-rimmed glasses give him an intense, cat-like gaze.

"Welcome," he greets you with a coy smile, handing you a drink. You cautiously sniff it—it seems fine. "We should probably pregame a bit, right? To putting the past behind us! To starting a new!" he says cheerfully, raising his glass. Little did you know how true those words would ring.

As you sip the drink, a peculiar sensation washes over you. Your head spins, and you glance down to see yourself standing inside a pentagram marked on the floor. Candles around it flicker to life, and Alistair begins chanting in a low, resonant voice.

"By the magic that shapes the soul and bends the will, I transform my rival with a potent skill. From intellect to muscle, from wit to brawn, Make him the jock he'd sneer upon."

Energy pulses through your body as Alistair continues, his words weaving a spell that seems to twist reality itself.

"Let his speech be all about the game, His thoughts as shallow as his fame. Turn his interests, twist his mind, Let ignorance and swagger bind."

You struggle to protest, to break free from the enchantment that grips you, but it's futile.

"By the moon and stars above, Grant me this spell, my deepest love. To teach a lesson, change the scene."

In an instant, darkness envelops you.

When you regain your senses, you find yourself amidst a lively, bustling party. Music thumps loudly, and colorful lights dance across the room. Confusion grips you—something is definitely different, but you can't quite grasp it. People around you seem to regard you differently, and you feel a newfound confidence, a swagger in your step that's both thrilling and disconcerting.

Alistair stands nearby, watching you with an inscrutable expression. There's a flicker of understanding between you, amidst the chaos of the party. Whatever spell he cast has altered the fabric of your being, and tonight will unfold a new chapter in your rivalry—one that promises revelations and challenges you never anticipated. As you navigate the party, you know one thing for certain: this night will change everything between you and Alistair.

As Alistair watches, a sly grin spreads across your face, almost instinctively. The music of the party pulsates around you, but your mind feels like it's in a haze, memories of computational thinking and Doctor Who episodes slipping away like sand through your fingers. Instead, they are replaced with vivid recollections of football matches watched with your old man, and hours spent cheering on WWE wrestlers.

An energy pulses through your body, causing a throbbing sensation in your head. You reach up to rub your temples, only to find that your dorky glasses slip from your face and clatter to the ground, unnoticed. As you stare down at your hands, you feel a strange shift occurring within you.

Your once-boyish charm and baby fat seem to melt away, leaving behind a face that is a stark contrast to the one you once knew. It's a study in blunt masculinity and exaggerated features, reminiscent of a bulldog's rugged charm. Your forehead, broad and unyielding, slopes down to meet a pronounced brow ridge that casts a perpetual shadow over your steel-blue eyes, now narrowed with skepticism.

Your nose, once straight and strong, bears the signs of numerous fractures, giving it a slightly crooked and pugnacious appearance. Lips that were once gentle and unassuming now twist into a cocksure smirk or a disdainful sneer, revealing teeth that gleam too perfectly.

Your jawline, heavy-set and sharply descending, ends in a squared-off chin that juts forward with an almost confrontational air, adorned with a perpetual chinstrap. Cheeks that were once flushed with excitement over intellectual pursuits now speak of nights spent in rowdy frat parties and on the football field, basking in the adulation of peers.

As your face sets into this new mold, new memories flood your mind, pushing out the remnants of your old life. You recall the rush of adrenaline during football matches, the horsing around with your teammates, and the cheers of the crowd. Thoughts of wrestling matches and late-night parties become clearer, overshadowing any trace of your former nerdy pursuits.

As you stare down at your skinny, twinky body, an unnatural rage begins to well up inside you. Standing at barely 5'6" and 110 pounds soaking wet, you've always felt inadequate, especially when compared to the jocks and athletes around you. The feeling of frustration and insignificance intensifies as you feel a strange twitching sensation in your muscles, almost as if they are awakening from a long slumber.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, your body begins to change. You feel a surge of energy coursing through your veins, igniting a transformation that defies logic and reason. Inch by inch, you grow taller, your frame expanding into something imposing and solidly built. Soon, you stand tall at around 6 feet 3 inches, your once-slender physique replaced by broad shoulders that taper down to a narrow, muscular waist.

Your chest swells into a barrel-like mass of muscle, proudly displaying well-defined pectorals that ripple with each movement. Thick, sinewy arms hang by your sides, adorned with veins that trace their way over bulging biceps and forearms hardened by countless repetitions of weightlifting and grappling.

Your neck becomes thick and sturdy, supporting a square jawline that hints at your stubborn determination and competitive spirit. Despite your newfound size, there's a grace in the way you move—a controlled athleticism honed through years of wrestling and football practice. Your legs, now like tree trunks, showcase the explosive strength necessary for dominating on the wrestling mat or breaking through defensive lines on the football field.

Weathered and bronzed skin, bearing the occasional scar or bruise earned in the heat of competition, tells stories of your journey through physical challenges. Tattoos, often tribal or school insignias, adorn your arms and chest, marking your allegiance to team and fraternity. Off the field, your posture exudes confidence—a relaxed but assertive stance that speaks volumes of your status among peers.

Alistair bursts into laughter as he witnesses the drastic transformation you've undergone. The disbelief and amusement are palpable in his expression, but you ignore his reaction. Instead, you grunt at him with a newfound confidence, "Yo nerd, get me a beer."

Alistair, caught off guard but amused by the situation, quickly conjures another enchanted beer. You take a swig, and as the enchanted liquid flows down your throat, you feel your mind growing duller and dumber. Memories of late-night study sessions and intellectual debates fade away, replaced by images of rowdy frat parties, cheering crowds, and the adrenaline rush of competitive sports.

Compassion and empathy seem to smolder and fade, overshadowed by a growing sense of arrogance and entitlement. As you revel in this new persona, you realize that tonight marks a significant shift in your life. The rivalry with Alistair has taken on a new dimension—one where physical strength and social status reign supreme.

You see a keg out the corner of your eye and rush to it. You feel a strange sensation as you start pumping the keg. With each pump, your intelligence seems to slip away like sand through your fingers. The rage builds up inside of you, consuming every ounce of compassion and empathy that once existed within you.

Your clothes begin to change as well, transforming from your usual smart attire into something more befitting a frat boy - loud and obnoxious garments that scream "party animal." Your personality shifts along with your appearance; what was once reserved becomes brash and aggressive.

The memories of Kevin Brady - the cute theatre twink who stole your heart at prom - fade away like dust in the wind. In their place is an image of some busty blonde bimbo cheerleader who now occupies that special spot in your mind where Kevin used to be. As if by magic, she materializes before you with her boobs jiggling seductively under her skimpy outfit while she smiles coyly at you over her shoulder

With each new pump comes another blow against everything that made up who you are: intellectually curious… artistically inclined… sensitive towards others' feelings… All these traits are lost as dullness sets in like molasses on a cold winter's day – replaced by mindless conformity and shallow pleasure-seeking behaviors characteristic only among straight frat boys.

As you pump the keg more, you start to smell the beer. Your nostrils flare and you feel yourself becoming deeply conservative. Republican and Southern values fill your mind as a gold cross forms around your neck.

Memories and beliefs form in your head - memories of going to church every Sunday with your old man, beliefs about traditional family values and hard work paying off. You remember how much fun it was playing football in high school, representing everything that's right about America: strength, determination, teamwork… all those things that make this country great!

Thoughts about the radical left begin to creep into your mind now too though - thoughts like "they're ruining our country" or "they want us all dependent on government handouts". But then again maybe they're just jealous because they don't have what we do: freedom! And if anyone tries taking away our freedoms? Well then we'll show them who really runs this place… won't we now?

As you continue pumping the keg, memories begin to form in your mind - memories of fucking the dumb cheerleader bitch in the back of a limo. A cocky grin grows on your face at the thought of it.

Suddenly, Alistair is there, looking at you with disdain. "Watch you looking at faggot," you holler at him, and something strange happens - his clothes become tighter, his face cuter… unnaturally so. He looks and talks like a total faggot now!

"You're such a big bully!" Alistair lisps as he cowers before you. You can't help but laugh maniacally as he whimpers pathetically under your gaze. "You're just jealous," you shout back at him while tugging on your own cock for emphasis, "you're not packing like a real man."

Alistair continues to act more like a fag throughout the party as it grows louder and straighter around you - all jocks and bimbo sluts now dominate this scene that was once filled with diversity (or so it seemed). "Why don't you hang out with your loser queer friends in the theatre Alistair!"

Without hesitation or remorse whatsoever (because why would there be any?), you pull up Alistair's tight thong until he screams bloody murder while everyone else laughs hysterically along with you because let's face it: life is just too short not to enjoy ourselves sometimes right?

You remember getting to college on a football scholarship. You're big, strong, and obnoxious - just the way they wanted their players to be. Your fellow bros and you get fucking wasted every chance you get, doing shots and keg stands until the early hours of the morning.

As the beer fuels your every move, you spot a hot chick with huge tits walking by.

"Dude," one of your bros says as he enters the room, "did you fucking do her?" He laughs heartily at his own joke while slapping your back - an action that only makes you feel more nauseous than before.

"Yeah man," another adds, "she was totally into you! Said she wanted it rough." They all laugh again… but there's something different about their laughter this time around: it holds an edge of envy mixed with disbelief – almost as if they couldn't quite wrap their heads around how lucky you always were or maybe they just didn't want to admit deep down inside that deep down inside what really happened was something none of them would ever admit out loud: jealousy.

You spot the hot chick with huge tits from last night at the party, and she walks over to you. "Hey there stud," she says in a seductive voice. "Remember me?"

You grin cockily at her. "Of course I do, babe. You were the one who couldn't get enough of my dick last night."

She giggles like a schoolgirl and flips her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, that's right! I just can't get enough of big strong men like you."

You take another swig of your beer and wink at her suggestively. "Well, lucky for you then isn't it?"

She steps closer to you so that their breasts are practically touching your chest through their tight clothes as she whispers in your ear: "Do me again tonight baby."

Your eyes widen slightly at this unexpected turn of events - not because it turns out this girl actually wanted more than just one night with someone like yourself but rather because deep down inside… well let's face it: even someone as obnoxious and brutish as yourself has his limits when it comes to how far he can push things without consequences coming back around sooner or later.

You flirt with the hot chick, feeling her up under the table where no one can see. Your bros egg you on from across the room, cheering you on as they clink their beer bottles together in anticipation of what's about to happen next.

Without a second thought, you stand up and pull her by the hand towards an empty bedroom nearby. The door slams shut behind you as everyone outside watches intently through narrowed eyes - waiting for that telltale moan or groan that signals something truly special is taking place within those four walls right now…

Inside, she kneels down in front of your pants unzipping them quickly before taking out your already erect cock which she begins sucking eagerly while running her hands over your muscular frame like it was some sort of prize-winning sculpture come to life right before her very eye. "Oh...Oh...Caleb....you're so fucking hot" she moans

You flex your huge biceps in the mirror as you face fuck this dumb slut, watching yourself with pride. Your ego grows larger by the second, swelling to unimaginable proportions as it becomes increasingly clear that there's nothing or no one who can stand up to you now.

Your mind is barely the size of a pea these days… but who needs brains when you have brute force? Sex and football. Beer and bros. Chicks and thinking with your dick… that's all that matters anymore anyway! You grab fistfuls full of hair and guide her head back and forth along your shaft faster than ever before until finally reaching climax inside her mouth – filling it with thick ropes upon ropes worth every last drop until there's nothing left but satisfaction written all over both your faces.

You're young, dumb, and repeating freshman year for the third time now - but who cares? Not Caleb! All he knows is how to party hard while maintaining his reputation as being one helluva stud among his peers (and maybe even beyond)… so why bother trying anything new when what works keeps working just fine.

[fandom-oneshots-etc]

Hey, can you write a story about Evan Buckley and Reader announcing that she’s pregnant to the 118 at like a family gathering :)

🍄 Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader

🍄 Genre: Fluff

🍄 Summary: At a 118 family gathering, Buck's overprotective nature reveals a little more than the two of you had planned.

🍄 Word Count: 1618

🍄 Abbreviations: N/A

🍄 Warnings: Pregnancy, implied pregnancy complications

🍄 Note: I really liked this request Anon! I hope this is what you were looking for. I thought about this scenario and I instantly imagined Buck accidentally announcing the pregnancy rather than planned. If you would rather a planned version, just pop in another request. A similar request came from @quinnstan247. Enjoy :)

You could feel the eyes following you closely as you slipped into the kitchen to refill your glass of orange cordial. Your overprotective, puppy-dog boyfriend remained outside in the garden of the Nash household along with the rest of the team as they stood around Bobby and the BBQ grill. You knew that Buck was searching for any reason he could to follow you inside, but you met his gaze through the windows and offered him a reassuring smile that seemed to subdue him for the minute.

Since the second you found out, Buck had been glued to your side. It had been three weeks since you took that test, since your doctor had confirmed it and in that time you had, had to convince him every single day that he could leave you and go to work. Every day he fought you, wanting the both of you to stay home so you could rest and he could wait on your every want and need, but you couldn’t do that. You were only thirteen weeks along and there was hardly any reason to be confined to the bed just yet. You knew that he was only concerned about the safety of you and the peach you currently carried in your womb. It was endearing and one of the sweetest things you’d ever seen, you hadn’t thought that Buck could get any sweeter, but here you were one act away from having a mouth full of cavities.

What hadn’t helped was that Buck had been responding to a number of pregnancy calls in the past few weeks a few resulting in sadder endings than anyone wanted. They had definitely struck a chord with Buck and had only made him hover all the more.

Adding the water to your cordial, you took a sip of the orange, a light buzz filling your taste-buds. You had become obsessed with anything orange flavoured since your pregnancy diagnosis. Whether it was orange skittles (which Buck had kindly sat and sorted out for you), or orange flavoured chocolate, or even the orange flavoured cupcakes you had found at the grocery store and ate within an hour of buying, anything orange and you were all for it.

Walking back into the garden, your entire body seemed to clench a little as you stepped back into the gaze of the sun. As much as you were enjoying this down time with the 118, it was so hot. The heatwave had only hit LA in the past few days but already it was in full swing and you were feeling every beam of it.

“Y/n,” you turned over to where Athena was sat with Hen and her daughter May. The three of them were stood around the mini bar that Athena had installed, in direct sunlight. Already hot, you fought down the urge to grimace as you moved to stand by them, the sun glaring on your skin. “We were just telling May about Buck and that kiddie ride at the mall. She doesn’t believe us.” Hen informed and a grin split across your lips, taking your mind off of the sweltering heat.

“Oh my, God. I have a photo, hang on,” You pulled your phone out of your shoulder bag and set your drink on the bar, thumb flicking through the many photos in your gallery in search of the one from the Saturday before. “He thought it was funny and I tried to tell him he wouldn’t fit but he insisted,” You giggled and turned your phone for May to see. “I honestly thought I’d have to call nine-one-one.”

Displayed across your screen was the photo that still had you giggling a week later. There sat Buck, who had squeezed his way into the small metal bus which was obviously aimed for children 7 and under. But Buck had twisted his body at all kinds of angles and had somehow managed to worm his way into the ride. His head was poked out of the door hole, his legs curled up against his chest, unable to stretch out in the tiny space that his body was occupying.

What Athena and the others didn’t know was that Buck wouldn’t have gotten into the ride if it wasn’t for you. That morning your hormones had been playing you like a fiddle and every little thing had upset you, the bin bag had broken when you were trying to change it out for a new one, somehow a red sock had slipped in with your whites and now everything you owned was slightly toned pink and they had shown that advert with the puppy sat in a box, in the rain, on the side of the street with people walking past ignoring it. It seemed, that morning, that everything was stacked against you. Buck had offered to come with you to the mall so you could pick up your clothing order from a store, you had ordered certain items that they didn’t have in stock and they had delivered into the store the day before. You were buzzing to see the new pair of pumps you had ordered. You knew that in a few months if not weeks, the shoes would probably be pressing against the sides of your feet and ankles because of the pregnancy swelling, but that hadn’t stopped you from ordering them in your size. However, like everything else that morning, even that didn’t go as planned. The shoes had been delivered in the wrong colour and in a size smaller than you wanted, making them impossible to wear. Buck had seen how disheartened you had been when you left the store, trying not to cry in frustration. He had wanted to do something to cheer you up and in a joking manner he had made a bet with you that he could fit inside the kiddie bus ride.

It had definitely succeeded in cheering you up, if not from how silly he looked, his large muscular frame curled up inside the ride, from when he got stuck and couldn’t get himself out straight away. You had done what you could to help him out, but you were giggling so hard your entire body went weak. When he had finally gotten out, the two of you had continued to giggle all the way home and your mood had been lifted for the rest of the day.

“Oh, my God,” May giggled. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Please send me that!” she begged.

“Of course,” you agreed with a laugh of your own. “I could never gate keep on a photo like this.”

“What made him get in there?”

“It’s Buck, does he need a reason?” Hen scoffed. As the ladies continued to giggle, the heat seemed to make it’s presence known as it glared down onto you. The side of your temples was beginning to throb and your skin was starting to get slick and sticky, sweat oozing from your pores. You raised a hand to swipe at your brow, glancing around the garden for the closest seat, your legs aching.

As you moved towards one of the sun loungers, your boyfriend’s eyes caught onto your movements, already on high alert.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asked, abandoning his drink at the grill and rushing towards you, one arm slipping around your waist to help guide you to the seat.

“Buck, I’m-”

“Dammit, it’s too hot out here for you. We should’ve cancelled,” he began muttering to himself. “Are you dizzy? Do you need a drink of water? What about something to eat? Is your blood sugar low? What if you’re dehydrated?” The only thing making you dizzy was the hurricane of questions Buck was sending your way, not even leaving a chance for you to answer them. One of his hands instinctively came to rest on the front of your stomach.

“Babe? Baby?” You tried to pull Buck out of his panicked rant, his eyes not once meeting yours as he kept scanning you for any visible injuries. Not that there were any, but the paranoia was getting the best of him and the heat probably wasn’t helping.

“We should get you in the shade,” he decided. “Shit, you should’ve stayed inside. You’re carrying precious cargo now, baby. You and peach can’t take this heat. We shouldn’t have come. This is all my fault-”

“Buck!” You pressed your hands to the sides of his face, directing his eyes to yours so you could try and ground him. “Buck, baby, I’m fine. We’re fine. I’m just a little hot and tired that’s all. It’s normal.” He still seemed a little uncertain, and his eyes held a lifetime of worry for you and his unborn child. “We’re okay. I promise.” You offered him a reassuring smile, your thumb coming to brush against his bottom lip rhythmically, giving him something to focus on. His eyelids pressed shut as he breathed slowly for a second.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause we can go home-”

“We’re fine. I just need to sit for a minute that’s all.” You peeked over his shoulder. “While I’m sitting, we should probably talk to the people behind you, they seem a little shocked. You kind of let the cat out of the bag.” Buck twisted his head to look around at the team behind him, everyone stood, jaws dropped and eyes wide. Eddie was the most comical of the bunch, his glass halfway raised to his mouth ready to take a sip but frozen in time with the news that Buck had unintentionally shared.

“H-Hey, guys,” He chuckled awkwardly with a sheepish grin. “I guess we have some news to share.”

[myfictionaldreams]

I saw your post about poly marauders x reader inspo. What about angst and fluff where the reader is working really hard and doesn't take care of herself? She ends up fainting, hitting her head and having a seizure. (This is common for me.) The boys freak out and rush her to the infirmary. Maybe they take her back after she's given the all-clear and take care of her.

-🐍

Working Hard // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader

A/N: hello, thank you so much for this request! I hope I've been able to write the information about seizures ok, I personally don't have them so was worried I'd get the information wrong but hopefully, this is alright!

Tags: angst, fluff, fainting, head injury, seizures, not looking after yourself, anxiety/crying, emotional hurt, protective marauders, cuddling/kissing etc.

Words: k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The library was fairly vacant of students as it approached the evening time, not that you’d noticed. At one swift glance, anyone could have seen the state of disarray that you were in. Ink stained your fingers and clothes, the whites of your eyes were bloodshot and dry from the lack of blinking, sweat on your brow and hair unkept from the number of times you’d brushed it out of your eyes.

Not to mention the disorganised surroundings you were sitting in with multiple stacks of books covering the desk space with different length parchment paper, ink pots and a single quill also messing up the area.

“How long has she been like this?”, Sirius asked Lily, concern etching deep into his face as he’d just arrived at the library following his day of lessons. Lily briefly looked up at Sirius with the same look of worry on her face from where she sat at a different desk, having been there most of the day just to keep an eye on you as she knew you were slowly spiralling into madness.

“She’s been like this since this morning. I’ve tried to convince her to have a break but she just wants to finish the work. I’m kind of getting worried about her, she hasn’t stopped in hours and keeps pushing my glasses of water away saying she’ll have it later but she’s yet to have any”, Lily explained to Sirius who was now clenching the strap of his school bag so tightly in his hands that his knuckles turned a ghastly shade of white.

“Thanks, Evans, I’ll stay with her don’t worry”, Sirius explained, patting his friend on the shoulder as she stood, having packed her bags ages ago but was reluctant to leave you on your own. “If you see Moony or Prongs, could you tell them where we are please?”

“No worries, I hope you can get through to her”.

Sirius sighed, shaking his head hard enough that his shoulder-length, silky hair flew in all directions as he walked over to your desk. You didn’t so much as flinch when the chair next to you scrapped along the stone floor as he dumped his bag onto the floor.

As he began to talk to you, he kept his voice calm, not wanting to frighten you out of the deep focus you were in. “Darling? Is everything alright?” When you again didn’t respond to having heard his arrival, he reached across and took the quill out of your fierce grip. This snapped you out of your trance as your head whipped in his direction, body jumping in a startle at finding one of your boyfriends casually sitting next to you. Your heart was already racing before the jump scare are you looked between Sirius and the quill you so desperately needed.

“What are you doing? I’m not finished my work yet Sirius and I am not in the mood to mess around, I just want to get it finished”, you demanded to him, reaching out with a trembling hand that had Sirius’ worries increasing.

“What was the last time that you even ate anything? Or had a drink of water?” Sirius asked whilst continuing to hold your quill out of your reach.

Shaking your head in annoyance, you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, a couple of hours ago maybe, I can remember. Now please, can I have my quill back!”

Sirius looked at the mess on the desk surrounding you, “Honey, this assignment isn’t even due for another week. You’ve got plenty of time to finish it another day but you need to look after yourself. Let’s have a little break, maybe go and get something to eat and drink and then depending on how you’re feeling, we could potentially finish this later”.

The marauder spoke calmly and slowly, taking in all the signs of your declining health. There were only a few occasions where you had been like this, neglecting to look after yourself and it usually ended with you crying from exhaustion or sleeping a whole day away feeling ill so he needed to be a good protector and make sure this didn’t get any worse but he feared that it was already at that stage anyway with how reluctant you were to listen to his advice.

“No, you aren’t listening to me! I don’t need any of that right now, I just need to finish this today because there’s still the potions assignment due in two days and I need to plot this week's stars for astronomy. There’s also the herbology that I haven’t even started yet so I don’t have time to go for your breaks! Just give it back to me Sirius!” As you were beginning to raise your voice, you caught the attention of the handful of other students who were studying. Sirius didn’t react to being shouted at, especially as it was never something you’d done before, he knew he was getting to the point of no return and was unsure just what it was that he was supposed to do. Let you carry on? Force feed you a snack and make you have a break but then would that anger you more?

Thankfully backup had arrived in the form of Remus and James. “What’s going on here?” the taller Marauder asked, his scarred face flicking back and forth between Sirius and where you were glaring at him.

“We were just about to have a little break”, Sirius began to explain with caution but you were quick to interrupt.

“No we aren’t Sirius! I’m fine, just let me continue other I’ll forget what I’m going to write!”. You were breathing heavily now, like you’d just run up a flight of stairs and Sirius couldn’t tell if it was because of your anger or just another symptom of how worn down you were getting.

It looked like you were close to a panic attack with the way you were reacting irrationally and the two Marauders that were standing took a protective step forward, placing their bags onto the floor.

“My Love”, James spoke carefully, “just take a deep breath for us, okay? We’ll just have a small break and then we’ll help you finish this assignment”.

Your hateful gaze turned to him, “I don’t need help James”.

The way you spoke didn’t falter him in any way as he continued, “Why don’t we just quickly get a drink of water and some fresh air and then we can come back-”

“Don’t talk to me like a child James, I know my limits. I’m just studying, I’m fine, I just need to finish this, but you’re all prolonging it!” You glared at all three of them, not thinking clearly at all and when Sirius once again held the quill away from you, you snapped. “You know what? Fine. Keep the quill. I’ve got plenty more in my dormitory which luckily doesn’t let guys in so I can continue this in some peace and quiet.”

You gathered as many books as possible into a messy pile, bundling them into your arms, along with your parchment paper.

“Wait, Sweetheart, just give us a moment-”. Sirius began reaching forward as you stood abruptly.

One minute you were taking a step forward and then next, it felt like the floor was moving, your eyes unfocused as the books dropped to the floor, swiftly followed by your body as you fainted, accidentally knocking your temple on the corner of your desk as you fell.

Remus, James and Sirius all lurched forward trying to soften your fall but to no avail, as they all watched you hit your head and collapse to the floor However the panic didn’t end there as your body began to convulse, eyes rolling back in your head as you didn’t respond to shouts.

“Shit! Go and get Madam Pomfrey!”, James demanded to Sirius who was out of his chair and sprinting within a second as a crowd began to form of scared students. This didn’t stop James though as he remained calm, kneeling next to your head but holding out a hand for Remus, “Hand me your jumper”. Remus pulled the clothing over his head and handed it to his boyfriend who balled it up and gently placed it under your head. “It’s ok baby, it’s going to be ok, it’ll be over soon, you’re safe, everything with be alright”.

With each word that he spoke, he remained calm, even managing to loosen your tie so that it didn’t restrict your breathing as you eventually calmed with your convulsions and remained unmoving on the floor, breathing heavily.

“Remus, help me roll her onto her side”, he asked the man who was also on his knees next to you, looking paler than usual. He followed James’ movements until you were lying in the recovery position, your hair carefully being moved out of your face so that they could assess your head injury as well. Thankfully there was no cut or blood but the area had already begun to swell into a small bump.

Remus shook his head, trying to process anything that had just happened as he then gazed towards James. “How…how did you know what to do?”

“My mum had seizures, usually she takes some potions to stop them from happening but on rare occasions they still do so she and Dad have taught me what to do if they were to happen, It’s not like I’ve done much anyway”. James looked you over, as Remus shook his head in disbelief, feeling guilty that he hadn’t come and found you at an earlier time but just assumed you were doing your usual revision in the library.

Sirius soon arrived with Madam Pomfrey who did her own assessment and praised James for the bits of care that he provided like putting you into the recovery position. You were then moved to the Hospital wing where you remained asleep for the next 12 hours which is what you needed, lots of rest and sleep.

When you did eventually awake, the sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains and you were disorientated and confused, being in an unknown area and alone, not remembering how or why you’d gotten there.

Thankfully the Matron was already working and hovering nearby so was able to come over and explain the events that had occurred whilst making sure you drank the numerous healing potions she’d decided you needed. With each glug of the horrible tasting, colourful concoctions, you could feel life beginning to pour back into your body, no longer feeling dehydrated or shaky, however, there was still some memory loss but she explained that was the side effect of the seizure. Your stomach twisted with guilt at not prioritising your health which was also the same sentiment expressed by Madam Pomfrey as she gave you a talking too as well about looking after yourself and making sure to take regular breaks, having food and drink nearby during long study sessions.

Finally, after she declared that you were safe to leave but only if you returned to the dormitory to rest for the next few days, she explained that James, Sirius and Remus had been by your side until late at night. Each of them outright refused to leave your side but as they all fell into their own emotional and physical exhaustion, Madam Pomfrey called for McGonagall who helped to send them to their beds.

The guilt now only increased tenfold at the thought of how worried they must have been. The Matron tried to encourage you to not worry about those emotions for now, but to go and rest and that you’d need to return every morning for additional potions and investigations for the seizure.

Every step towards the Gryffindor common room, nerves bubbled in your stomach, wondering if you should follow the woman's advice and just go to your own dormitory and sleep the day away or knock on the Marauders’ room and discuss what had happened.

Thankfully for your exhausted mind, you didn’t need to decide as soon as you entered the homely common room, the three of them were already rushing down the stairs, dressed in their casual clothes and looking like they were about to run somewhere. They were all startled to see you standing there, relief and worry expressed on each of their faces, along with dark circles under their eyes from the lack of sleep.

Hating the uncomfortable silence, you nervously twisted your fingers together, glancing at the floor, unable to hold their burning eye contact anymore. “Madam Pomfrey said I was okay to leave but said I needed to get some rest”.

Another wave of relief rushed through your boyfriends as they each visibly dropped the tension from their shoulders as they stepped forward. “How are you feeling?”, Remus asked carefully, not being able to watch your nervous twitches anymore as he grabbed your fingers and linked both of your hands with his.

“I feel fine”, you answered honestly, looking guilty up at them still through your lashes.

“What about your head?”, Sirius continued the question, standing to your left and stroking the strand of hair away from the area that he’d seen hit the corner of your desk.

“It doesn’t hurt at all but Pomfrey said those sorts of injuries are easy for her to fix anyway. I um, I don’t actually remember what happened, or even from the last few days but everything else is better, my head doesn’t hurt at all”.

James was the last to approach to your right and you were thankful to see a loving smile on his handsome face as he pushed the rim of his glasses up his nose whilst asking, “And what about the seizures?”

“She said they could happen again but it was mostly triggered because I hadn’t eaten, drank or slept properly and that I needed to be careful in the future. I think it’s something that I had dealt with in my childhood as I remember my mum saying that I used to have some sort of seizures but it’s been so long that I didn’t think it was an issue anymore. She also told me about what you did James and I just… I can’t thank you enough and I’m so so sorry for putting you all through this”. Your eyes were full of tears that quickly escaped and flowed down your cheeks.

James couldn’t watch you cry and rushed to wrap his arms around your body, cupping the back of your head to hold you against his warm, firm chest. Remus and Sirius also managed to join the cuddle. The three of them didn’t expect any sort of apology from you, the anger that had been there initially for you not looking after yourself had swiftly changed to worry and fear so just making sure you were okay was their only goal.

“Shh Sweetheart, please don’t cry. We’re just glad you’re safe. You scared us so much, all I could think about last night was having you in my arms again”, Remus calmed your cries down as he kissed your shoulder, trying not to unload too much of his worries onto you.

The three of them held you for long enough that other students began to wake and enter the common room, rushing past so as to not ruin the sentimental moment. As your sobs turned into hiccups and the tears stopped staining Sirius’ shirt, the long-haired Marauder pulled away to cup your cheeks. “Come on, it’ll do us all no good crying in the middle of the common room and you’re supposed to be resting and to be honest I think we could all do with a rest so let's go upstairs”.

Wiping your nose with your sleeve, you smiled and accepted his outstretched hand, his much larger palm engulfing yours as he gently tugged you along to the boys’ room. The sight of the magically enlarged bed only increased your exhaustion as your body seemed to slump with the need to crawl beneath the sheets.

Before you could do as you wished whilst still wearing your day clothes, James stepped behind, his arms around your waist and held you for a second, swaying slightly on the spot as he dipped to kiss your cheek. “Do you want my jumper? Might be more comfortable than what you’re wearing?” he asked with hope in his voice and you knew he always loved seeing you in his clothes.

Turning in his arms and stroking your fingers through his hair to brush it out of his face you nodded tiredly, “Yes please!”

James grinned, pecking your lips before swiftly pulling his jumper off and then helping you to underdress down to your underwear and helping you into his jumper. Remus and Sirius were already down to their boxers and in bed, Sirius in the centre with his arms open and you smiled in relief, crawling over his body and settling on top of his chest. Everything seemed to fall into place as James followed behind you and lay next to Sirius, all three of their arms wrapping around you like a weighted blanket and a breath later all four of you were asleep.

When you woke next, it was because something was tickling your nose. Squinting open your eyes, you were welcomed to the sight of Sirius’ silky hair completely covering your face and his warm breath only an inch away from yours. Laughing under your breath, being careful not to wake the Marauder, you brushed the strands out of yours and his face, tucking it behind his ear.

As your fingers settled back cuddled into your chest, Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed followed by him groaning and bringing your fingers back up to his hair. You giggled louder now as you began to play with his hair and scratch your nails against his scalp, loving the sweet smile on his pretty-boy face.

“You know Pads, asking her to pet you, isn’t what I’m sure Madam Pomfrey classed as resting”, James mused from across the room, no longer by your side. Peaking open your eyes once more, you lifted your head as Sirius flipped off James who was sitting across the room, playing with his gold snitch with a pile of food waiting beside him.

“Is that pancakes?” you asked hopefully, sitting up further by pushing off of Sirius’ chest. Remus who was also still resting on the bed perked up at his, opening one eye and rolling over, his hair sticking up in all directions nearly as dramatically as James’ as he looked for the food.

“It is indeed, and there’s also toast, sausages, eggs, bacon, fruit, anything you might need”.

The four of you repositioned on the bed, leaving space in the middle to carefully lay the trays of food that James had managed to steal from the kitchens and all ate until stomachs were full and happy.

“What time is it?”, Sirius asked, still trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

“Just after lunch, so we’ve only slept for a few hours but seeing as we missed breakfast I thought it might be a good idea to get some food into our systems”.

“Thanks, Prongs”, Remus said before taking another bite of his toast and looking in your direction. “How are you feeling after a bit more sleep?”

“Good, like nothing even happened, I feel like I’m back to normal”. Remus nodded at your words, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, causing you to sigh and place your fork back onto your plate that was balanced on your nap. “I know we need to discuss what has happened and I’d rather do it now instead of waiting”.

The three Marauders looked at each other, unsure of how to approach the subject before James took one for the team and spoke first. “So you said you don’t remember anything, is that still the case?”

“The last thing I remember is going to Potions on Monday afternoon which was apparently a few days ago, I don't remember anything up until waking up in the hospital wing”.

“Do you understand what’s happened though? And how serious it was?”, James continued, his usual light and laughter not present in his eyes and you had to look at your fingers holding onto your plate as you felt the intensity of his emotions.

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey explained everything and why I had the seizure. I know I hadn’t looked after myself that day, but sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in my assignments for classes and if I don’t do them as soon as they are given to me, I’ll run out of time to complete them and then I’ll fail and then they’ll kick me out of the school and-”.

A scarred, rough hand pulled the plate from your grip so that he could gently hold both of your hands, tipping your chin back so that you were looking up at him as Remus came through with his words of wisdom. “You know that’s just your anxiety talking, there’s no way they would ever kick a talented witch like you from Hogwarts. You’re nearly top of all classes, always help others with their work and get good grades on your own. But you really need to look after yourself. To even get to the point of fainting is so dangerous Sweetheart, imagine if we weren’t there when this all happened?”

It was Sirius who began talking next, “We aren’t saying you need to completely change your ways but you fought us so hard in the library to even just have a little break. From now on, maybe we should put a bottle of water and some snacks in your bag and please, if you’re studying, just give yourself a rest every hour or so, even if it's to have a walk around the library to stretch your legs. Is that ok?”

The way he was speaking to you so softly and kindly had your heart melting and you hated how quickly tears were in your eyes again. You were so thankful for them, expecting them to be angry in some sort of way but once again proving how much you loved them and they loved you.

Unable to form any words, you nodded your response towards Sirius who smiled and opened his arms for you to crawl into again, his hands rubbing up and down your spine, soothing the emotions away.

James sighed away his own anxieties, moving over to kiss the back of your head before clearing away the food, waving his wand and everything disappearing back to the kitchens. “Right, a day of relaxation coming your way my love”, he began, trying to cheer the atmosphere and already causing you to laugh through the tears. “We will be having regular naps throughout the day, and plenty of food that will be ready whenever we are, All I need to do is summon one of the house elves. We have books, Sirius record player, we could even venture down to the common room if we’re feeling adventurous. Oh! I also caught Lily on my way back from the kitchens and she gave me some fruity bubble bath that her muggle parents have sent her that’s supposed to be nice so a nice candlelight bath will be ready whenever you are Love”.

You were beaming at all three of them, “Thank you! For this and everything else you’ve ever done, thank you”.

James shifted closer so that he could peck your lips, slowly and with love. The action was repeated by Remus and Sirius as you all naturally linked together in a cocoon of warmth and safety as you all hugged each other.

“I love you”, you whispered against whichever one of their shoulders you were nuzzling into. The three of them promised their love back to you before deciding on the first plan of the day.

[flamingpudding]

I just got done reading the prompt that I asked you about and it's wonderful thank you so much and if you're okay with it I'm here to help you make a part two but if you don't want to do that that's okay I'm just adding some bonus to it.

I'm just imagining Danny full Ghost King attire showing up with two things to cookies one with kryptonite in them cuz I love the head can of ghosts eating good tonight like candy and the other set a normal batch of chocolate chip cookies. Looking down Young Justice being like in the most Patrick electric entity sounding voice with a country accent "I'm so just the cutest oddiest little berries on the bush" (sorry just speaking in my little country Danny headcannon)

But I can also see Danny being embarrassing for Klarion. Danny sit down the two trains of cookies Evan just start hugging and kissing his son on his head like the embarrassing mom he is talking about how he's so skinny and he should eat more. Also really nice to Young Justice it's like them realizing they just might by the end of the day be adopted by enemies mom.

Justice League is getting to the location ready to fight and do what they can just for a Young Justice member with a cookie in hand to walk up and explain and tell them to play along for free cookies.

RedRobin badly wants to try one of the kryptonite cookies to see what it would do if he ate it. Klarion keeps stopping him because as much as he doesn't like them he doesn't want RedRobin to die.

Who I'm just adding on a couple of things really love your writing though oh yeah what are your pronouns so I can know to refer to you as just asking.

So glad you liked it and no problem i don't mind at all. I was thinking about adding a part two honestly. Well then lets continue the shenanigans. I hope this part two won't disappoint either. And out of courtesy for once added people who asked for tags in the comments. Don't get used to it. I usually don't to tags. This is an exception for this awesome prompt idea.

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The moment a Lazarus green portal started to open in the Living Room, Red Robin suffered a small, probably slightly traumatic, flashbacks to all the times he had seen the Lazarus Pits, but before he could even react Klarion tackled him to the ground with a distinctive hiss of "Play alone." His friends, the traitors, had managed to doge Klarion. Impulse had simple used his speed to step aside and Superboy apparently had headed a warning. Wonder Girl hadn't even been in the path of Klarions tackle. So this was why Red Robin was currently the only one getting sort of wrestled and put into a headlock on the ground in a hold he knew he could easily get out of but was to distracted by the ceiling high, eldritch as well as royal looking being stepped out of it.

The portal closed behind that being and Red Robin swallowed seeing six eyes in inky black that mirrored the night sky blink down at them.

"Klarion?" The static voice ringed in their ears and from the corner of his eyes Red Robin saw Superboy flinch visibly.

"Mom! Your early!" Red Robins head hit the floor as Klarion suddenly let him go to greet the being that's apparently his mother. He glared at the witch boy for that as he sat up and rubbed his had.

"Oh my, sorry my dear." Superboy flinched again, and Red robin could hear Impulse whispering to Wonder Girl if he was the only one seeing four mouths talk at the same time. Klarion appeared to have it heard to as he send them a quick glare over his shoulder before turning back to his mother.

"Mom, could you tune down on the eldritch?" Red Robin blinked stunned before seeing the bing apparently blush green in embarrassment and its form changing until there stood a man, about Red Hoods height still with a floating crown and a royal cape, but at least more human like and resembling Klarion but with more blueish skin before them.

"Sorry baby, I thought my royal appearance would make a better first impression." The man pinched the witch boys cheek lovingly, to witch Klarion whined out a drawn out "Mom."

The four young heroes couldn't help but stare, was that seriously their villain Klarion? The one that tried to cause chaos and make their lives difficult on regular basis?

"Klarion. Why is there a magic barrier around your apartment." The man in royal clothing suddenly asked and they blinked seeing Klarion flinch and laugh nervously. "Oh you know mom, keeping the bonding in one place so other mortals won't be bothered." To which the man cooed. He cooed!

"Bonding? What bonding?" The four heroes echoed blinked and exchanged stunned and confused looks. Bonding? What Bonding? What were they talking about? Sure they hadn't gotten a lot of explanations out of Klarion before that portal opened and apparently his entire act about his mother visiting was the true. It was clear that the witch boy's mother was some kind of other worldly being but it looked like there was more to it. Also considering the royal like outfit and the grown.... did that mean that they had been dealing with a prince of some kind as villain the entire time.

Suddenly the man bristled turning to glare at them back in his eldritch form towering over them. "Are you telling me you mortals have been ignoring my sons bonding?! And that is why my son's bonds don't appear to be properly formed?!"

They flinched back staring at that being that was now back to locking eldritch horror like with a crown and royal cape. Their eyes were locked onto the being, only distantly they realised that Klarion was pulling on his mother hissing something that sounded very much just like static to their ears. It to a while longer but finally the being drew back staring what sounded like a static filled discussion with Klarion and Impulse was pretty sure he had been ready to sully himself if it had taken any longer,

Apparently Klarion and his mother finished their exchanged as they both turned to them, his mom now again more human like looking. "Mom these are my friends. The punk looking guy is Superboy the half alien, Red Robin the one in red and black, you know Dinner boy. Impulse from the Flash-Clan and Wonder Girl one of the Amazonian. Guys this is my mom, Ghost King of the Infinite Realms."

Red Robin couldn't help the eye twitch at his introduction, he also noticed that Impulse flinched back as the mans eyes locked onto him and he didn't need Superboy's confirmation of having heard a grumble about 'why did it have to be a speedster'. Great so this eldritch being, apparently King and most likely a danger and possible hostile did not like one of them already. Why did Klarion ask them to play pretend friends again?

"Well I will be, you have quiet the colourful and oddest batch of fleshy mortals here." The man grinned at them, that were sharp teeth the four heroes observed. "Titles are a bit stuffy, feel free to call me Danny kids. Now come here. I brought some cookies with me."

Before they knew it the four of them were seated on the couch with a huge plate of cookies on the coffee table before them. The four of them blinked at the two kinds of cookies. Impulse was already reaching out to them fearlessly but Wonder Girl had the foresight to stop their friend for the moment. Superboy on the other hand appeared to look quiet queasy and was slowly turning green to the worry of Red robin. They noticed Klarion turning towards his Mom when he took note of this. "Mom! I have a Kryptonian friend! Why did you bring cookies with kryptonite chunks! Look! Superboy is turning green just looking at them."

The Ghost King, now known by the name Danny to them, appeared to be waving his son. "Oh he will be fine in a moment its not enough to completely bother his species, he will just be more human like till you ate all of them. These ones are more for you anyway, you are way to thin lately." Danny then turned to them with a smile. "Please feel free to eat the chuckles chip once. I can guarantee they are human friendly. My sister helped me make them. She is a liminal human."

That was all Impulse needed to rip his wrist free and stuff the first of the chocolate chips cookies into his mouth. "They are good!"

Danny smiled at them satisfied, and with that out of the way started to make small talk with them while also embarrassing his son with occasional comments like. "Oh you should have seen when Klarion first got Teekl." Or "He nearly burned down our entire castle when he started actually learning magic." Or "He used to be such a grumpy adult until he deaged and became such a cute grumpy little baby boy. Want to see photos?"

They never got to see photos to Wonder Girls disappointment. Klarion managed to cut in between suffering embarrassment and glaring at them for encouraging his mother to tell more embarrasing stories and forced the portal, his mother was going to reach into for the photos, to close.

By now the teens have become more relaxed around Danny. The man had a friendly charm to him and genuinely showed an interest in them as well as in the well bing of his son. They could understand why Klarion didn't want to disappoint a parent like that. They snacked on the cookies and Red Robin watched with interest whenever Klarion and Danny reached for one of the cookies with green Kryptonite chunks. Danny had mentioned off handedly in one of his stories of Klarion that they both used to be normal humans. Red Robin was very interested in this right now.

Suddenly Superboy elbowed Impulse and Red Robin, having caught the movement turned to them with an arched eyebrow. "Mentors." The other mouthed to them and they sighed, of course their mentors would show up sooner or later. They shared a glance and Red Robin took on the task to subtitle inform Klarion since they were sitting next to each other when Impulse excused himself to a toilet break shortly.

Red Robin used that quick distraction to reach towards the cookie plate.

Meanwhile Impulse came to a stop in front of the front door stopped by his foot from slamming shut behind him again, thankfully Klarion had removed his magic barrier that could have made this difficult. He had one cookie in hand and grinned up at their mentors and the Justice League Dark members.

"Hi everyone!" He greeted them cheerfully, taking a bite of his cookie.

"Impulse? Are you okay? What happened?!" Flash was instantly on the teen checking him over for any sort of injury. They were prepared to fight since Deadman had reported the location where the Ghost King had appeared. They had chosen to halt their search for the missing teens for the moment but had paled when Superman had mentioned he was hearing their voices from the same location.

"Oh i am fine! Great even. Did you know that there are other dimensions that have melon flavoured chips?" Impulse easily answered grinning. "Also you might wanna dile back on the battle ready aura you guys radiate. Klarions mom is visiting, pretty awesome guy."

"Klarion? The witch boy?" Wonder Woman asked stunned to which Impulse nodded. "Yea, pretty nice guy. Ghost King of a dimension that holds everything together like glue. Kinda badass."

"Bloody fucking..." Batman glared at Constantine who swallowed the rest of his curse. "The hell you mean the Ghost King is badass? That a fucking tyrannical blood hungry war maniac!"

Impulse blinked at them. "Really? I mean he does have scary form that made me nearly piss myself but he is pretty chill. Awesome parent, we get why Klarion loves his mom so much now."

The blond Brite pinched the bridge of his nose letting out a suffering sigh. "Just let us in mate, we will deal with this before our dimension can kiss its arse goodbye."

Impulse appeared to be thinking for a moment before shaking his head. "Uh nope. We are having a good time actually. A nice break. Sooooo no!" Before Flash or anyone else could react impulse stepped back closing the door into their faces. They blinked stunned, Batman was the first to recover stepped towards the door to attempt to open it only for his lockpick to be deflected by a red barrier suddenly appearing. The man growled turning to glare at the Justice League Dark members with a silent comment.

Inside the apartment a little bit earlier....

Klarion snatched another green glowing cookie from Red Robins hands with a glare at the other teen, who only glared back. Danny was watching them amused feeling reminded of himself and Tucker by their interaction. But then his attention turned to Wonder Girl as she asked for another story about Klarions childhood.

A moment later Klarion felt a nudge and looked at Superboy who nudged him across a pouting Red Robin who got another green glowing cookie snatched from him. The witch boy arched an eyebrow when Superboy asked to recreated the barrier to keep their mentors out but did so the moment Impulse was back with them with already three new chocolate cookies in hand as he joined Wonder Girl in fishing for more stories.

[princessfbi]

bucktommy + “come here”

Bucktommy

"Come here."

No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.

He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.

But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.

It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.

Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.

"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.

"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.

"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.

He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.

Tommy said his name like it was effortless.

Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.

"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."

Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"

Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.

"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."

Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."

And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.

But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.

"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."

"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.

"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."

They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.

But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.

That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.

Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.

"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."

Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.

Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.

Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.