#i just have a lot to say about this apparently

[natashashill]

been like this

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: 18+ mean, possessive, and possibly toxic nat in the beginning, mean sex (?), dacryphilia, panties as a gag?, spankings, verbal degradation, humiliation, pussy & ass spankings, fingering, strap sucking, strap fucking, hair pulling, choking, edging AND overstimulation, praise, slight breeding kink, & aftercare!! lmk if i forgot anything

a/n: this might have been a lil self indulgent but i also wrote this at 2am so bear w me pls <3

summary: you & natasha are exs, you just broke it off and she doesn’t like that, you both end up at the same bar

You found yourself at a local bar for the night, desperately needing to forget yourself and maybe her too.

You had finally called Natasha out on her bullshit after putting up with all the ghosting and flaking she had pulled on you. You cut things off with her and you’re hoping it stays permanent this time. You immediately make your way to the bar, and order a signature cocktail. You take a few sips while scanning around the bar, observing the few couples that came while the night was still early.

You were just about done scanning the room when you spotted her in the back, sitting in a booth by herself. You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at her. Her flaming red hair was tied back while she wore a casual suit, and your gut tells you she came here straight after work. She sat staring at her drink, brows furrowed in tension with the slightest dark circles under her eyes, and your stomach dropped at the thought that you might have been the cause. You were pissed at her, but you never wanted to see her hurting.

Apparently, you had been staring at her for too long because when you snapped out of your thoughts, you caught her looking at you with a slight smirk on her face. She sent you a small wink before beckoning you over with a wag of her finger, and your feet started moving towards her on autopilot. You sat across from her, staring blankly waiting for Natasha to say something.

“Did you come here looking for a new girl tonight?”

Your jaw dropped at the bluntness of her question, “Jesus Nat. I- I don’t know. I wanted to have fun, if I found a girl who would treat me right, maybe I would go home with her. I didn’t plan anything.”

She scoffs at that.

“Well your dress certainly did. Your tits are practically spilling out of your chest. Do you even know how many people have been staring?”

You frown and attempt to cover your chest slightly, feeling self-conscious at the weight of her words.

“What? All of a sudden you’re shy, you had quite a lot to say to me the other night baby. What girl did you think was going to treat you right, because I know how you like to be treated. You say you want a sweet girl, but not really. You crave the way I make you feel when I’m rough don’t you, you love the way I treat you-”

You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your mouth, despite your best efforts to stay unbothered by her. You couldn’t help but let her words affect you just the way she wanted them to. You fell right into her trap, and she has you right where she wants you.

“What baby? You want me to be soft on you, hmm? Spend all my time on you and forget about everything else I have to do? Are you that much of a needy slut baby? Knowing you, your panties are probably soaked by now, am I right?”

You weakly shook your head no, but you knew she was right, and so did she. She grabs your hand and yanks you up out of your seat.

“Come on baby, follow me. Let’s go see how much of a desperate slut you really are.”

“Nat, where are you going?”

“We are going to take a trip to the bathroom. If you didn’t just lie to me and you really aren’t wet, well then I’ll let you go. If I catch you lying, you’re in for a rough punishment before I take you home.”

You gulp and dumbly follow her, hoping she’ll go easy on you. But you know she never does.

The moment the door shuts behind you, she has you pressed up against. Her hands roughly push up your dress against your hips before pushing your lace panties to the side. She doesn’t even comment on the wetness before slapping your pussy twice, hard.

You let out a moan at that, and she guides you out of your soaked panties before stuffing it in your mouth. You let out another moan at the taste of you on your panties but it’s barely audible. Your cunt is clenching around nothing and the humiliation has some tears springing to your eyes and an attempt to close your thighs.

She quickly turns you around before spreading your legs apart and slotting her leg in the middle, giving you the perfect opportunity to grind against her with your hands on the door.

“I can’t even look at you right now. Go ahead slut, hump my thigh like the pathetic whore you are. If you even think about coming, I’m bending you over the sink and spanking your ass raw.”

You’re only getting wetter at her words, desperately humping her legs, hoping to get enough friction to ease your clit’s throbbing. Your legs start to shake, and she immediately takes a step back away from you. You’re left dripping while facing the door, attempting to catch your breath while fighting off tears.

You don’t get a break before she smacks your ass hard, and you let out a wanton moan at that. She smacks your other cheek harder at that, and you get the message to keep quiet. She starts spanking you in rapid succession, muttering about being her dirty little girl who doesn’t know any better. You can’t fight off the tears and by the end of her assault, your tears are quickly streaming down your face. Your legs are shaking with need and you can’t avoid the way your clit is throbbing.

You know she knows how sensitive you are by the way she presses a delicate kiss to your bruised cheek before gently turning you around and helping you redress.

“You took your punishment so well for me baby, let me take you home tonight.”

You nod, desperate for any attention she’ll give you right now. You let her guide you out of the bar and into the passenger seat of the car. She has her hand on your thigh the entire ride, and you just stare out the window, trying to process everything. You’re in her bedroom before you know it, naked and kneeling by the foot of her bed. You can see the wet patch on her suit pants that you left on her, and the sight has you clenching around nothing again.

She disappears into her closet, and your stomach drops at the realization of what’s in store for you. She comes back out, and you see a distinct bulge at her groin, and you lick your lips at the sight. All it takes is one look at her and you crawl your way towards her before stopping at her feet, hands eagerly making their way to unzip her pants and freeing her cock.

You waste no time before attempting to take her. Your lips wrap around her fake cock and you start bobbing your head, slowly taking more and more of her. She gave you two minutes to adjust before she gripped your hair and started using it to push you further down her cock. She started thrusting up until you and you let yourself be used by her. Her dick kept hitting the back of your throat, tears streaming down your cheeks with your makeup thoroughly ruined, and Natasha was obsessed. This is how she wanted you to be.

The sight of you mixed with how close she was made her thrust faster, ignoring how you gagged before she finally reached her peak. She stilled as she felt the aftershocks take over before gently pulling out.

She lightly cupped your face, letting you nuzzle against her hand while her thumb stroked your cheekbone, wiping some stray tears.

“What’s your color baby?”

“Green daddy”

“Alright then, get on the bed just how I like you. Daddy’s gonna fuck any thoughts you have about leaving out of your head. You’re mine, I don’t share.”

You quickly scurried on to the middle of the bed before positioning yourself onto all fours. She let you stay like that for a few seconds before climbing onto the bed and positioning herself behind you. She had a clear view of your dripping pussy, and she couldn’t resist running her fingers through your folds. She collected some of your wetness before bringing her finger to your mouth, slightly sucking on it before bringing it back to your cunt.

She quickly inserted her finger inside you before rapidly fucking you with it. She slipped it a second finger and enjoyed the way your shaky breaths filled up the entire bedroom. She let you get close to your peak, thighs shaking around her fingers before pulling away. She quickly hushed your whines, bringing her cock to drag along your folds and gently brushing against your throbbing clit.

She started with a harsh, unforgiving pace as she fucked you, and you knew just how mad she was. You couldn’t keep up with her thrusts, letting your arms give out and letting her use you as she pleased, your moans filling the room. She grabbed your hair and harshly yanked it back, allowing you to arch your back and allowing her to go deeper into you.

One arm snaked around to your throat before squeezing, while the other stayed in your hair. You could barely muster any thoughts in your head, only her name shining through the fog starting to form in your brain. Your mouth hung open and eyes shut while she pounded into you with no mercy.

“Look at you, how easy you’re taking me. You’re my precious little slut, aren’t you? You’re built for me baby, you fit so perfectly around my cock.”

You lightly nod, barely paying attention to what she says but hoping it pleases her.

“You’d say anything I tell you to right now, wouldn’t you?”

You let out a moan at that, and she lets your lack of an answer slide, her hand squeezing tighter around your throat.

“You’re getting close aren’t you. Well you’re gonna have to beg me to come sweetheart. You’re not off the hook just yet. Beg daddy to let you come, beg daddy to make you come. Oh, and promise me that you’re coming back to stay with me. You’re going to be my little slut, my precious girl that I come home to after work. Mine.”

“ ‘M yours daddy. I’m your girl to use, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me but please let me come. I’ll be your perfect toy to use.”

She lets out a moan at that before thrusting harder into you.

“Yeah? You’re gonna be my good girl. My precious slut who I get to fuck. It’s my pussy, isn't it, belongs to me. I get to decide whether you come, and it’s mine to touch and play with. Fuck, I’d want to breed this sweet cunt of yours. Watch all my cum drip out of your needy pussy before fucking it back into you. Letting you be my breeding dump while I constantly pump my cum into you.”

You scream out her name while clenching around her strap and she knows you're close. She squeezes your throat just a bit tighter while also going to rub circles against your clit. You let out a strangled scream at that and she doesn’t let up until you’re cumming around her. She doesn’t stop while you fall apart around her, she continues thrusting, building you back up towards your second orgasm.

“Give me one more baby, give me one more and you’re done. You’re such a good girl for me, my sweet girl. Fall apart for me baby.”

Her words give you what you need before you’re coming again. She gently stops thrusting while rubbing your back gently, giving you the space to adjust to the sudden change. She lets your breathing return to normal before removing her strap from inside you, and throwing it towards the bathroom. She crawls up towards the head of the bed, laying down against one of the pillows, before bringing you against her clothed chest. You let your tears run while you absent mindedly play with her shirt’s buttons. She presses gentle kisses to your head while murmuring just how good of a girl you are for her. She strokes your arm soothingly, waiting for you to recover.

“I’m sorry,” you wail out, unable to control yourself. “I just wanted you to notice me. You never spent time with me anymore and I missed you. I never meant to hurt you, I’m sorry.”

“Oh my love, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you. I got so wrapped up in work, I didn’t realize I was neglecting you. I’ll do better, I promise.” At that you let out a small smile and nuzzle against her as you let yourself drift off. She gently shakes you off of her before getting both of you out of bed.

“Come on baby, let’s get you cleaned up. Let’s get in the shower and I promise we’ll fall asleep right after, baby.”

You reluctantly get into the shower, while Natasha cleans the strap and pulls out fresh sheets for the bed. She strips out of her work clothes, before changing into some boxers and a robe while grabbing a fresh pair of underwear you left at her house a while back. When she sees you exiting the bathroom, she hands you the underwear along with one of Natasha’s old shirts.

She guides you back into bed before bringing you against her chest, tucked in cozily under the blankets. You sigh happily against her, quickly falling asleep after being worn out from the night. Natasha stays awake for a bit longer, watching how peaceful you looked with her and vowing to never let you leave her again.

notes: i hope this was enjoyable to read <3 it just came to me in the middle of the night and i just had to write & post it

[reasonsforhope]

Climate change in 2025: So, what now?

Some real talk for the new year, about where we now stand, and what the next years are going to look like.

(Still ends on a “be hopeful!! or else” kind of note, but definitely gets into some heavy truths about the meaning of recent events.)

--

Obviously, between Trump's reelection at the Los Angeles fires, things are feeling a lot more precarious than they did just a few months ago. I know a lot of people are incredibly stressed. I know I'm certainly stressed.

But this isn't the end. This isn't the beginning of the end, either. We're not doomed.

Don't despair.

Yes, things are about to get harder. Yes, the effects of climate change are now becoming truly apparent.

But here's what you need to hold on to:

We have already cut expected warming in half.

More about that including sources here: (x) I'm not going to go into it again in detail, read the source for that. But it's true. In 2000, when I was a kid, they were predicting 4, 5, 6 degrees of warming, plus a runaway greenhouse effect that would boil the planet.

Now, scientists expect that global temperatures will likely land between 2 and 3 degrees.

Which is incredibly shitty, yes. But it's survivable.

And I have for a lot of reasons (check these masterposts on this) to believe with the confidence of knowing that we're going to get expected warming down even further.

And that's something to celebrate.

I’m not saying that the effects of warming aren’t already bad, or won’t get worse. I’m from California, I currently live in LA. My state’s been on fire for half my life. Natural disasters starting amping up early here (and we’re certainly in the middle of another historic number now). And yeah, it's fucking stressful right now.

But like I said, my state’s been breaking horrible disaster records constantly for the past ten years. I've done this before. And you know what? Natural disasters have been getting more and more survivable for years, largely thanks to faster warnings and better mass communication (x).

Does it suck how many natural disasters there are now? Yeah.

Does it suck how many more still there will be? Yeah.

Do we need to keep working our asses off to beat climate change? Yeah.

Are we going to need to organize and mobilize (both politically and especially community-wise) like never before to see as many people through these times as best as possible? Yeah.

But that doesn't mean we should despair. It absolutely does not mean that we've already lost.

An unknown number of the most optimistic futures were foreclosed when Trump won the US election. That’s painful but a reality.

But for twenty-ish of the past twenty-five years, the science said we weren’t going to survive climate change at all.

For most of my life, we were worried that we had set Earth on a course to become like fucking Venus (which is, on average, well over 800 degrees Farenheit). Even if it didn’t get that bad, we were so worried that global warming might wipe out all life on earth - except maybe the cockroaches.

(Literally, when I was a younger the kids at my church put on a play about that. It was like an adaptation of A Christmas Carol where the future only had talking cockroaches. I grew up so worried about this. (Not the cockroaches thing specifically. Mostly the general concept. Only a little about the cockroaches. Also yes my church was very granola why do you ask.))

But starting a few years ago, studies have shown that there wasn’t going to be a runaway greenhouse effect that could turn us into Venus; that earth is warming, yes, but we don’t seem to be in danger of that.

Between that and the fact that the adoption of renewables globally is too fast to be stopped, and we do have the technology and environmental science knowledge to eventually re-lower global temperatures by getting to net negative carbon emissions (x), and most countries and at least 73% of people in all countries for which there is data (x) actually care very much about the climate, yeah, we have closed the door on the lava planet future.

And yeah, I do think that’s worth celebrating.

That’s a massive fucking victory.

There's still more work to do, and I have every confidence that we're going to do it. I also think that, given the loss of the US election, there’s a really, really strong chance the developing world will be what saves us, and we’ll just be lucky to be along for the ride.

Most people have no idea of the kinds of amazing stories and statistics coming out of the developing world and Indigenous communities. The world is changing for the better on the environment, even as disasters (and the US) are getting worse. Solar power is going to revolutionize the fucking world, because it’s going to grant humanity universal access to electricity, and that’s going to revolutionize the world, especially the developing world (aka the global majority). And most people have no idea at all, much less how much it’s going to change.

So, yeah, natural disasters are going to keep getting worse.

But there’s a long, long long fucking way between “natural disasters are going to keep getting worse” and “the extinction of all of humanity and/or the vast majority of life on earth”

So, in the face of Trump, in the face of everything, I still choose to hope. I still choose to celebrate this as a true and profound accomplishment.

Because for over twenty years, I was afraid I’d never get to.

That difference is absolutely worth celebrating.

[drchucktingle]

I watched the 2004 Klaus Nomi documentary and his story reminded me of how you talk about creativity and being genuine. The interviewees talked about how the first time he performed with the persona Klaus Nomi at a vaudeville-style variety show in NYC in the 70s, everyone was stunned. Several of the people describing this event mentioned how the show was meant to be ironic, everyone was doing nudge-wink joking acts and goofing around, the audience/scene was apparently very cynical, but he got up and took it seriously. He was earnest, he was himself, and after a frozen moment of silence, everyone went crazy.

THANK YOU yes this is very reminiscent of what the journey of my career has been like, and this particular trot makes me very proud. all of the buckaroos who mean a lot to me artistically, from the andys (andy kaufman and andy warhol) to the davids (david byrne and david lynch) have had similar ways from 'strange' outsider to legend.

was talkin with some buds about how i think there is possibly a connection between this and my autism trot. there is a sort of ability to see a path that nobody else takes but say to yourself 'that makes sense to me, i do not really care if nobody else takes this path'. others can be bogged down with the 'right' way of doing something

so really being ridiculed like i have is this beautiful artistic TROJAN HORSE, where initially very few people take you seriously but they still let you in. they let you trot around in their brain for a while and very slowly they start to get it.

i think it also goes to show how much art is in PERCEPTION of the creator (i talk on this a lot already but this is very good example). look at something like SPACE RAPTOR BUTT INVASION getting nominated for hugo award. EVERYONE said some variation of 'this is obviously a joke and making fun of gay people and autistic people and erotica itself' and on and on. buds on the left said this, buds on the right said this. it was VICIOUS. and all the while i said 'no this is real serious art and i am doing something that goes outside of the way you see the medium itself' and that just made people MORE MAD.

but now looking back, when i presently have award winning best selling books from major publishers and so on, it is easier to see that the erotic tingleverse, as a whole, is a valid piece of art and expression that resonates with a lot of people.

really the only thing that changed was the perception of ME as a creator

anyway. i am proud of my art and where i sit in the world of artists. i like being a sort of chaotic queer punk rock force. so i cannot complain really

i will say this though. this is all a PERFECT example of how queer and neurodivergent artists have to go above and beyond to even get basic respect from both the left and the right

the years of saying 'i am serious. i am real' the years of taking vitriol, or being constantly made fun of are PERSONALLY okay with me. i am a tough buckaroo. in a strange way, that story is kind of part of the art in itself. HOWEVER we still have to acknowledge that a straight neurotypical person would NEVER have to constantly prove themselves like i have.

i dream of a world where queer and autistic artists are not harassed by one side and gatekept by the other, and believe it or not i think we are moving in a good direction. there is still a LOT OF WORK to go though

fortunately, i think there are easy ways to help. you can support outsider artists you like by reading or listening or just buying their art and puttin it on your shelf (PREORDER LUCKY DAY BY CHUCK TINGLE HERE). but ALSO, if you are an outsider yourself JUST CREATING IS SO POWERFUL. build and craft and speak your unique way into the universe. FILL THIS SPACE WITH YOUR UNIQUE WAY. THAT is how we prove love is real.

see that path that makes since to you but nobody else is willing to try? take it

[hms-no-fun]

this is like the first Big Transfem Question (whether your egg cracked because someone asked "if you could press a button and be always born a girl right now would you," or whether you just came out to someone for the first time and they asked "omg so are you gonna get/have you gotten The Surgery?") and everyone has their own answers, and their answers often change over time.

i know when i first came out i was pretty firmly disinterested in bottom surgery. part of this was a consequence of having tomboy gender and not really having much bottom dysphoria after HRT made unwanted erections a thing of the past. i felt deeply conflicted about the expectation that as a trans woman obviously i wanted to pursue Traditional Femininity. it quickly grew apparent to me that the pathway to the kind of polished acceptable transness you see in media is a lot of expensive procedures and surgeries and training, and as a lifelong broke bitch i resented that. especially when a trans youtuber made a jab at a clocky transfem earning her transmisogynistic harassment by essentially not trying hard enough to be a woman, that's when it really crystallized for me that i wanted nothing to do with this kind of post-drag-race bitchy high femme gender superiority. it's one thing to say that it's hard work to pass in public as a tall clocky trans girl; it's another thing entirely to act like it's her fault that she's clocky when there are real material and structural roadblocks to her reaching the standard of femininity you're expecting (to say nothing of whether or not she even WANTS to be that kind of feminine). so for me, surgery and laser and vocal training all got wrapped up in this tangle of resentful obligation that i neglected out of spite. i wanted to be a woman in a queer way, not in an assimilationist way.

but like, i did and kinda still do have that baby-trans feeling of like... well, if i could go back in the oven right this second and just sorta swap out for a vagina, i'd do it. this distinction felt important to me because i read a lot of posts about how sex for post-op trans women didn't feel the way they hoped it would, that the sensations were number and the recovery times were terrible and having to dilate was immensely painful and came with huge complications if you didn't maintain it. like there's that awful blaire white clip where she just straight up calls her vaginoplasty "an open wound" that's always trying to heal, and even as you know that's bullshit you kinda can't help but see gruesome post-surgery pics and recovery timelines and be like... well damn idk if i want to put myself through that!

what i've come to understand is that so so so so much of this perception discourse is colored by self selection bias. people don't post when they're pussy is working correctly. people don't post when the sex is good. i mean, maybe they do, but they don't post it in the same places they'd post recovery pics and ask for transition advice. someone who avidly posts through their post-op recovery probably stops posting once their new situation starts feeling normal. you can create the impression for yourself reading this stuff that the gauzy bloody swollen recovery phase lasts forever and is basically the entire experience. on top of that you can convince yourself that the end result never looks like a "real" vagina, because even after the gross part is over and done with it still takes months to a year or more for it to settle into its final shape. so there's ten million pictures of obvious post-op pussies because people post through it when they're sad, then time passes and you learn the rhythm of your new anatomy as it grows into itself, and the whole thing stops feeling like a such big deal. none of which is visible in the posts.

i've now had several friends go through various forms of gender affirming surgery, and the biggest surprise to me has been that it really doesn't seem THAT bad? somehow i got it in my head that these recovery timelines could stretch out for aaaaaaaages, but a friend of mine got the cadillac of bottom surgeries that used a bit of stomach tissue for the interior (paid for with medicaid) and she was back up on her feet in, like, two months-- albeit with serious restrictions on vigorous motion. sure, it seemed uncomfortable, but nowhere NEAR the level i was expecting. dilating is just free time for her to watch anime. same for top surgery, same for an orchi-- there's like a brief window of time where it's an inconvenience, and maybe complications can arise but generally? it kinda just seems like not a big deal. it's not this horribly traumatic invasive disgusting painful process-- it can be some of those things, probably it will be at least one of them for some amount of time, but very likely not all of them and not all at once and rarely to the extreme that we're sometimes led to believe.

honestly, the most annoying, invasive, violating part of surgery is getting the surgery approved. which is fucking hilarious considering the conservative firestorm against trans people is like 80% predicated on the assertion that trans people have too easy access to surgery. are you kidding me??? every trans person i know who has gotten any procedure, afab or amab, has had to get multiple letters from doctors/psychologists, gone through the assessment steps with a healthcare provider and surgeon, then had the whole approval process drag on long enough that their letters expired (a thing letters can do, apparently) which meant having to get new ones which meant pushing back the timeline again. like the level of pathologization and infantalization around essentially medically means-testing these procedures is fucking gonzo. it is a demeaning, demoralizing process ESPECIALLY if you have medicaid, where a parade of medical professionals take turns debating whether or not you're one of the crazy ones who's just doing it for kink and will immediately sue for malpractice afterwards (a cohort that definitely exists in real life), and it can go on for YEARS! if you're a working class trans woman who has to constantly prove her poverty to stay on food stamps, or maintain disability payouts, or just access any social program at all your free time is already dominated by these insanely accusatory administrative burdens that are constantly on the lookout for any excuse to cut you off because you're presumed to be an aspiring welfare queen. so to add the dehumanizing rigmarole of getting gender affirming surgery on the pile as an expected step of transition, at a time when even the nominally left party in the united states wants to make accessing such care even harder, is genuinely so fucking cruel on so many levels it defies my ability to discuss them without going into a frothy-mouthed rage (not very feminine of me, i know).

but the upshot of this is, i've now seen that despite all these burdens, surgery is worth it. most every trans person i know who's gotten one has come away feeling, in some sense, better than they expected. i don't want to oversell it as this like magically perfect experience, it's not, and obviously i haven't gotten surgery myself so i can only speak to what others have told me. but like someone i know got an orchi a couple months ago, and she went in worried about retaining sexual function only to come out after a few weeks of recovery feeling hornier than ever. her bottomwear fit better and made her feel less dysphoric. and somehow, psychologically, it was like a weight lifted off her mind. she felt different, truer to herself in some way. i've seen first hand the nuclear explosion of euphoria the first time a trans girl can really BOUNCE her post-op breasts. conversely i've witnessed the astonishing transformation of a trans man after top surgery, how his entire wardrobe and physical presence completely turned on its head and suddenly he just exuded self-ness. and all of these are trans people who spent years on waiting lists, struggling through letter expiries and clinic closures and staff changes and policy updates and inconsistent insurance requirements. all of them went through a period of recovery, and while some had complications that made their recovery difficult, nobody i know regrets it.

so, yeah, idk. i'm still on the fence about surgery for myself-- i think i'd like an orchi? or perhaps one of those really experimental surgeries where you get a bit of both. i'm certainly still intimidated by a lot of aspects of the process, but it's not scary to me the way it seemed when i first started transitioning. i guess if there's any message to this post it's that this is why having IRL queer community is so important. you might not feel brave enough to get surgery yourself, but someone else is, and maybe by being friends with them through the process (maybe by taking care of their cats while they're stuck in the hospital) you can slowly demystify it and realize that maybe you had the wrong impression all along.

A question for transfems, pick the option that matches the closest to you:

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Option for nontransfems that want to click buttons: here.

[niniwritesxo]

‘goody like you’ pt.3

nam-gyu x fem reader —-> pt.4

warnings: mention of drugs & cursing

there you were, sitting in your bunk bed wondering what to do. you didn’t really like making friends but you were pretty fucking lonely right now

might as-well look for some friends i guess.

a few hours later you actually made a friend, myung-gi. he was player 333 and was actually a decent guy, you guys talked about your hobbies, family life and reason why you are here in the first place.

apparently he was a big youtuber who lost a lot of money because of bitcoin, you once heard your older brother talk about it but didn’t really care for it at the time.

you didn’t tell him a lot because why would you? it’s not like you guys are going to be friends after this.

‘‘it feels like i haven’t had food for two days’’ myung-gi begins sitting besides you, grabbing his stomach jokingly.

‘’right? i’ll probably die of starvation instead of these dumb games’’ you jokingly respond looking at him.

just then a loud buzz is heard from the left side of the building, guards with weird shapes on their masks enter the room with what seems like food.

without saying anything everyone stood up and walked towards the guards, they were handing out little boxes with bibimbap (our prayers were answers)

myung-gi and you also jump up and go to stand in line behind all the other contestants.

timeskip

nam-gyu was casually eating his food when his purple haired friend spoke up.

‘‘seems like someone’s got your bitch gyu’’ he says not looking up at nam-gyu, just staring at the duo in front of them.

nam-gyu drops his fork and looks up at thanos, after a few seconds he looks in front of him.

spotting you with player 333, chatting and giggling with him, you looked so ..relieved and careless?

he hated every second of it.

‘‘want to go over there?’’ nam-gyu asks his friend, looking at him with a smug smile, already planning something crazy.

thanos takes a big bite of his food and smiles, still chewing on his food he manages to answer.

‘‘do you even have to ask?’’ thanos smirked, putting his food down and searching for his shoes.

‘‘hey man, sooo tell me. when am i getting my money back?’’ thanos started, walking towards the bunkbed y’all were sitting on.

you look up at the duo in front of you, that purple haired freak and nam-gyu standing beside him with a stupid smile on his face, they were kinda intimidated when they were together, you weren’t scared but still something always feels off when you see them together.

‘‘just ignore them myung-gi, they are like dogs. as long as you don’t acknowledge them, they won’t annoy you’’ you say looking up at myung-gi with a apologetic smile.

‘‘you guys are on name terms huh? fuck dude don’t tell me you fucked her already?’’ nam-gyu finally speaks up mockingly gasping as he says the dumb words.

‘‘i’ve known her for about 10 years and she didn’t let me fuck on-’’ he begins looking at you, waiting for you to explode.

you look up at him, obviously annoyed.

‘‘will you shut the fuck up?’’ you say, glaring at the man in front of you.

before the argument escalated the guards entered the room again, announcing a new game.

thank god.

the men left your bunkbed and went to get ready for the next deadly game.

time skip (after the game)

after the games you were wondering who designed this bathroom?

you were in a dirty dark bathroom, made for woman AND man, god this is horrible.

your bladder was about to explode though, so you HAD to, finding a stall that wasn’t occupied already took you like 5 minutes.

fuck.

when you finished peeing you opened up the door, trying to escape this bathroom as fast as possible when you feel a hand on your shoulder, roughly pushing you back into the stall, before you can react a hand reaches towards your mouth, covering it.

when you look up you spot nam-gyu, he looks pissed, he pushes you against the wall and just looks at you for a few seconds before speaking.

‘’call me a dog one more time and see what happens y/n’’ he warns, glaring at you.

that smirk was nowhere to be found, you actually pissed him off this time, good.

you spot him looking at you, undressing you with his eyes almost.

‘‘aw you don’t like it when girls call you that?’’ you mockingly pout, laughing at your own comment.

and then it happens.

nam-gyu roughly presses his lips against yours, there is nothing romantic about it. it’s almost like he wants to punish you.

he doesn’t pull away and still has you in his grip, which means you also can’t pull back. not being able to breath.

after a few seconds you can feel something entering your mouth, did he fucking spit in your mouth?

no, no it feels like..like a pill?

you don’t know what it is so just keep it under your tongue, just to be sure.

nam-gyu pulls away and looks at you, hatred in his eyes.

‘‘swallow it’’ he demands pointing out the thing he just pushed inside of your mouth.

for some reason you don’t question it and just do as he says, he looked so angry right now, might as-well listen to him.

but why were you turned on by this?

all of the sudden he started laughing but it wasn’t a sweet laugh, he actually looked scary.

‘‘i just gave you ecstasy’’ he says laughing,

‘‘who knew a goody like you would take drugs huh?’’ he says mockingly, treating you like some dumb kid who hasn’t tried anything in their life.

to be honest you weren’t really a ‘experimental’ person so he was kind of right but you would never admit that.

you are caught of guard when you feel his cold ring hit your left cheek, you look up at the touch.

‘‘whatever you do, don’t freak out. just follow my lead’’ he says making direct eye-contact, softly caressing your cheek.

you had no idea what was going on, but you did NOT want him to stop.

(it’s slow burn guys so sorry, in the next chapter there will be smut xo) oh also you are player 217 lollll

[thewertsearch]

GG: Does this have to do with your crazy pen pal project? GT: It most certainly does and time is of the essence! GT: Today is the day i have to finish it and send it. Not a day later!

So Kid Bro was also contributing to Project Tyler. He's a Bladekind specialist, so maybe he's the one who sourced the Royal Deringer for her arsenal.

I have no idea how he'd get his hands on such a powerful sword, especially outside of Sburb - but this is still Bro, after all. He's impossible.

GG: This would be the birthday present… for your grandmother? GT: No! GT: It is for your grandfather simply to be relayed to him by my grandmother. A joint gift to him from she and i.

Jake knows that the bunny's meant for John, but it's hard to tell if he knows which John he's sending it to. He might not even know that there are multiple Johns in the equation.

GT: I am sending the gift back in time to when they are both alive and about our age. GT: Or… GT: Something like that. Something funny is going on here that i have not fully grappled yet but dag nab it if im not gonna see it through.

Asked and answered. Jake English has no idea that he's an old man's reincarnation, and he sincerely believes that his pen-pal is a girl from the early 1920s. I was about to argue that Jade must have demonstrated some awareness of modern culture during their correspondence, but Skaia probably just told her to hide it.

Anyway, Jake can tell that something's not right about this situation - but without knowledge of the Scratch, it's basically impossible for him to arrive at the correct conclusion. He's stumped.

GT: Look jane i know youve never believed me and you think everything i say is some big cockamamie goofoff but i think today of all days is when you should start taking some things more seriously. GT: Especially since i have always had your back. I have always believed in you! GG: Hey! I have believed in you too. GG: However, believing somebody isn't the same thing as believing IN somebody.

Jane, for her part, doesn’t seem to know anything. Crockercorp have successfully kept her in a Sburbless bubble, and have her doubting all testimony to the contrary.

I'm sure the Condesce has made sure that none of her friends can provide tangible proof of what's really going on, ensuring that Jane is isolated, out of the loop, and unable to trust her loved ones. There’s a wedge driven between her and her co-Players that may widen further, if the right pressure is applied.

GG: But that much said… GG: I think that maybe I am getting ready to believe some of the wild stories I've heard? [...] GG: I had a really wild dream last night. GG: And you were in it.

But there's nothing they can do to contain her Dream Self.

Today is the day that Jane wakes up.

GT: What was i doing there? GG: Um… GG: Not a heck of a lot!

...unlike Jake, apparently.

It's a little strange that he's less connected to Prospit(?), despite being far more immersed in Sburblore than his friend.

[i-am-baechu]

❀˖° Title: Never Knew I Needed

❀˖°Paring: Idol! Yoongi x Introvert! Reader 

❀˖° Rating: PG - 16

❀˖° Summary: Yoongi had his life planned out for himself. Studio. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. He always knew what he needed to do or what needed to be done but it all changed on a Tuesday morning with a girl who clumsily knocked into him. 

❀˖°Genre: Fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, slow-burn, reader keeps to herself, florist reader, some steamy scenes but nothing too crazy in this one

❀˖° Playlist: Never Knew I Needed - Ne-Yo

❀˖° Author's note: Second longest one shot I have ever written! When I say slow-burn, I mean it.

There’s something about the early mornings that brings this inner peace. It was quiet but not too quiet. It was cold enough to have a blanket around while you looked at the window with a cup of hot coffee waking up your soul, it was perfect. It also allowed you to plan out the day, that’s what Y/N did. She took advantage of the early mornings and got everything planned for herself. She knew of course stuff happened and something may not get done, as long as there was an attempt; That’s all that matters for her. 

She styled her hair and put her glasses on to finally get on with the day. She had a busy day today. A lot of idols ordered from her flower shop; Stardust and apparently today was one of those days that everyone needed flowers. She didn’t know why but she wasn’t going to question the business. She walked down her apartment stairwell with her music playing through her headphones. It was like any other day. 

She walked to the bus stop and smiled to herself. She took off her headphones and waved, “Good morning, Meria.” 

Meria was one of her closest friends, though she didn’t have many; Meria was top three. Meria was the star football player in their college days and was 7-2. Meria left the sport because she wanted to focus on something less focused on her limbs. Meria agreed to open Stardust with Y/N and never regretted it. 

Meria took the bun out of her mouth and waved, “Good morning~. Hazel and Nora are already at the store. They wanted help with some of the orders.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened at this and tilted her head, “They’re already there?” She glanced down at her watch and looked back at Meria, “It’s seven...that means they woke up super early.”

Meria nodded her head and took another bite of her bun, “Hazel was determined to get there before you and Nora wanted to get breakfast.” 

Y/N pouted at this, “They didn’t have to do this...I have to-”

“Y/N, shush. They wanted to help you, they love you. Don’t feel bad. Now get on this bus before I throw you onto it.” 

Meria, Hazel, and Nora were Y/N’s top three friends (and her only friends if she was going to be honest). Hazel was always keeping Meria and Nora in check with their teasing, something Y/N greatly appreciated. Hazel was also the first one to approach Y/N during their freshman year. Nora was the youngest in the group but she was also the brightest. Having an IQ of 120, she was bright but she was lazy. She barely showed up at her classes but would sleep at Y/N’s dorm as they ate breakfast together. The girls were always together, the perfect group of friends. 

Y/N nodded her head and glanced at the bus, “Can I have the window seat?”

“Of course you can, my little daydreamer.” 

On the other side of the city, Yoongi let out a loud groan. Apparently, his music file was corrupted which means his hard work was nowhere to be seen. He ran his finger through his hair and glared at the screen, “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

Namjoon glanced at Hoseok who just shrugged his shoulders. Namjoon walked behind Yoongi in his chair and rubbed his shoulders gently, “You should walk away for now. It’s not going to be solved if you stay mad at it. If anything, you might make things worse.” 

Yoongi sighed and took a sip of his coffee, “You want buns for breakfast?” 

Hoseok nodded his head at this, “Nora Bun’s open in a few minutes. They have really good red bean buns.” 

Yoongi stood up from his chair (with a little stretch) and put his beanie on, “Whatever will get me out of here, I don’t care where we go.” 

Hoseok scoffed at this, “Let’s go sunshine.”

Namjoon sighed and rubbed his forehead, “It’s too early for this, let’s get food.” 

Yoongi put his jacket on and glanced down at his phone, “Did you order the flowers for TXT?”

Namjoon nodded his head, “Yeah, Stardust was super busy. I just hope they’ll get here.” 

“Y/N is really good at being on time. You don’t have to worry.” 

Yoongi closed his studio door and glanced at Hoseok with a raised eyebrow, “Y/N? Who is that?”

“She’s one of the owners of Stardust. Super nice and awkward. Fun to tease.” 

Namjoon shook his head as they walked down the hall, “I tell you all the time to leave her alone.”

“Why haven’t I met her?” 

Namjoon glanced at Yoongi and shrugged his shoulders, “You never come out of your studio.” 

“Whatever, just make sure the flowers get here.” 

Y/N opened her door and smiled at her friends who were hard at work, “Good morning...thank you for coming.”

Nora was the first one to look up from her work. She gave Y/N a thumbs up, “Don’t worry. We’ll always got your back. I brought some buns from my shop here.” 

Meria put her coat up and pointed her finger at Nora, “You told me you weren’t bringing any buns so I just ate one on the way here. How could you do this to me!?”

Nora let out a small chuckle, “I brought it for Y/N, you idiot.” 

“Idiot!?”

Hazel snapped her fingers and glared at the two, “Yah! This isn’t why we came early, Nora.” Hazel turned towards Y/N and gave her a soft smile. She walked towards the shorter girl and gave her a small hug, “Good morning, Y/N. Would you like some red bean buns?”

Y/N nodded her head, “That sounds wonderful...” 

After breakfast, Y/N put on her apron and got to work. She let the soft jazz play through her store and she ignored the bickering between Nora and Meria. Y/N smiled to herself and looked down at the paperwork, “These bouquets go to Hybe for TXT. It says Kim Namjoon ordered it, Meria, can you take this order?” 

Meria nodded her head, “You don’t want to see Hoseok?”

Y/N took a sip of her water and shook her head, “I have too much work.” 

Nora smirked at this and leaned forward on her table, “You don’t want him to tease you.” 

Y/N looked away and picked up the next order, “I’ll do the order for Itzy, Nora can you do this order for Aespa’s Music Core performance.” 

Nora nodded her head and took the paperwork, “Whatever you say, boss.” 

“Thank you.” 

Meria took the bouquets and smiled to herself, “Congratulations on the new release. Aww, that’s so nice.”

“Meria don’t read the note. It's private” 

Meria rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Fine boss.” 

Hazel handed Y/N another order and grabbed her keys, “You're driving with me, Meria. Let’s go.”  

“What!? No, I promise I’ll get there-”

“Let’s go Meria.” 

Y/N gave them a small wave and continued to do the countless orders. Driving with Hazel was like driving with your mom, she would ask you how’s your day and all that. It made Meria laugh because they lived together, and Hazel knew everything. They parked in the employee parking lot and Meria groaned, “I really hate coming into this building.” 

Hazel put the parking paper on her dashboard and glanced at Meria, “Why?”

“It’s so tempting to talk to everyone. That’s why Y/N usually does it because she doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“Just don’t talk to anyone.”

“That’s so hard to dooooo~.” 

Yoongi took a sip of his coffee as Namjoon took a bite of his bun. They were walking back to Yoongi’s office when they saw the bouquets of flowers making their way towards them. Yoongi tilted his head and wondered if this was Y/N (not that he cared...). Hoseok was the first one to greet her, “Hey Meria, where’s Y/N?” 

Meria pouted at him, “She had too many orders to come down...so here I am. Hazel told me to hurry up and not talk as much.”

Namjoon let out a laugh and handed Hoseok his bun to sign for the flowers, “Tell her we said hello.” 

“I’ll do that.” Meria glanced over Namjoon’s shoulder and saw Yoongi, “Hey you're the cat in BTS.” 

Yoongi felt his eye twitch and he raised his eyebrow, “Cat? The hell?” 

“Yeah, people say you're a cat. I don’t know what the internet says. Little meow meow or something like that. ”

“Don’t call me that. Why would you-”

Meria took the clipboard and smiled at Namjoon, “Thank you Mr. Kim. Hazel is texting me and she scares me. Have a good day!~” 

Yoongi watched the girl leave and shook his head, “Little meow meow...what the hell.”

“Just get back into your studio before you fight someone else.”

“Don’t tempt me.” 

Y/N was walking to her bus stop after the long day she had. She had around 120 orders to fulfill and she couldn’t believe that she got all of them done in a timely manner. She put on her headphones and waited for her bus. She looked up to the moon and gave it a soft smile. The moon was warm even though to others it was cold, the moon was Y/N’s favorite after a long night. She swiped her keychain and headed towards the back in the small corner that she loved oh so much. She told Meria that she didn’t want to go out for dinner, instead, she wanted to go home to her cat, Tuna, and have some tea. Meria understood that Y/N needed to unwind and didn’t push her. 

She stared outside as the streetlights shined against her skin. She watched groups of people walking on the sidewalk and she smiled to herself. She watched one group of guys laughing and pushing each other while one rolled his eyes. She couldn’t help but feel envious of their energy but she shook her head and glanced down at her phone. 

Yoongi glared at Taehyung and sighed, “Yah, can you walk properly? We’re in public.”

Taehyung pouted and stopped himself from pushing Jungkook, “Jungkook pushed me first. Why do you always let him do what he wants?” 

“Just keep walking.” 

Yoongi glanced at the bus next to them and he couldn't help but squint his eyes towards the silver vehicle. He wasn’t sure why but there was something about it, “Hyung! Are you coming?”

He glanced at Taehyung and nodded his head, “I-I’m coming.” 

Y/N tossed her bag on the hook and made her way to her couch. She plopped herself into the dark purple fabric and closed her eyes. It wasn’t until she felt the soft hairs against her fingers that she opened them. She petted Tuna and smiled, “I’m home.” She glanced at the window and her smile faltered a bit, “I’m home...” 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Hazel loved her job. She really did but sometimes it becomes too much. That’s why she asked the one person who would listen to her rant, Y/N. The Hybe building was like a castle that was beautiful on the outside but boy did it feel like a prison on the inside. Hazel ran her finger through her hair and took a deep breath. She went to the cafe downstairs ignoring her coworker's glances. She sat in the far corner and swiped through her phone. 

Y/N entered the building and looked around. It was clear that Y/N didn’t belong here. She made her way through the busy entrance and entered Hazel’s code into the building (it also made it easier that the front desk knew her). She quickly made her way to the cafe and ignored the pit in her stomach. It felt like all eyes were on her because it was clear she didn’t belong there. She saw Hazel in the corner and made her way to her. Y/N poked her shoulder and gave her a small wave, “I’m here.”

Hazel gave her a smile and stood up to give her a hug, “Thank you for making time for me. I appreciate it.” 

Y/N nodded her head and sat in the chair, “I was worried. You usually don’t sound that distraught.” 

Hazel sat back and sighed, “It’s so busy this time of year. Everyone is making their comebacks and they want me to try to schedule everything by next Thursday.”

Y/N frowned at this, “Isn’t that asking too much?”

“That’s what I’m saying...ugh. I don’t know what to do.”

Y/N bit her lip and glanced down at her fingers, “I could always help...”

“What was that Y/N?”

Y/N slowly looked up and gave her a soft smile, “I could always come and help...the store isn’t busy this week and Meria has the store under control. If you want?” 

Hazel gave her a soft smile and placed her hand on top of Y/N’s, “You would help me?” 

Y/N nodded her head, “I don’t like seeing you in such distress.” 

Hazel smiled and clapped her hands, “Thank you Y/N. Let me buy you a muffin.” 

Y/N watched Hazel jump out of her seat and she sat there blinking her eyes. She let out a small sigh, “What did I get myself into?” 

“What the hell did I get myself into?” Yoongi glared at the screen while Jin gave him a proud smile next to him. Jin pointed at the screen and Yoongi had to stop himself from smacking it, “I fixed some of the melody for you.” 

Yoongi glanced at Jin and then back at the screen, “This is completely different. When I asked for help this isn’t what I wanted.”

Jin crossed his arms over his chest, “I helped you. You could say thank you.”

Yoongi sighed and took a sip of his coffee, “Thanks...”

“That doesn’t sound convincing-”

“Hyung, leave him alone.”

Yoongi turned in his chair and looked at Namjoon who was giving him a worried look, “At least someone has some sense.” 

“Yah! I helped you!” 

Namjoon rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, “We have a meeting, let’s go.”

“Do I have-”

“Yes, now let’s go.” 

Yoongi sighed and slowly stood up from his chair, “Fine. Who is it with?”

“It’s with Hazel. She wants to talk about scheduling.” 

Jin stretched his body and nodded his head, “We just had our comeback, what more do they want?” 

“Just go to the meeting before she yells at me. She’s scary.” 

Y/N took a small bite of her cookie and listened to Hazel rant. It wasn’t until Hazel’s phone buzzed. She flipped her phone over and cursed under her breath, “I have a meeting in ten minutes. I gotta go, thank you again Y/N. It means the world to me.”  

Y/N nodded her head, “I’m glad I can help...” 

“I’ll see you tonight at dinner?”

Y/N bit her lip and looked away, “Maybe.”

“Just let us know, okay? We miss you but we get it, bye, bye.” 

Y/N watched Hazel leave and when she was truly gone, Y/N looked through the window. I wonder what Tuna is doing...

Yoongi sat in the meeting room waiting for Hazel. He was just going through his phone but stopped when the door opened. Hazel gave them an apologetic smile, “I’m so sorry I was having breakfast with my friend.” 

Hoseok's ears perked up at this, “Was it with Y/N?”

Hazel sat down and nodded her head, “Yes it was, and no, you can’t talk to her.”

Jimin pouted at this, “Why can’t we talk to her?”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow at this, “You know her too?”

Jimin leaned forward and nodded his head at Yoongi, “Yeah, Y/N always sends us flowers during promotion. She’s super nice.”

Yoongi nodded his head at this, Am I the only one that doesn’t know her? That’s annoying...

Hazel rolled her eyes and opened her folder, “Let’s begin.”

Y/N walked down the street and entered Nora’s restaurant. She knew it wasn’t going to be busy because it was after the breakfast rush and lunchtime doesn’t start until one o'clock, so she had time to talk to Nora. She knocked on her office and there was no answer. Y/N opened the door to see Nora leaning back in her chair with her eyes closed. Y/N shook her head at this but couldn’t help but laugh, “Neh, Nora.”

Nora opened her eyes and gave Y/N a lopsided smile, “Ello, what brings you to my shop?”

Y/N sat in the chair and looked at the dark wood in front of her, “Hazel said you guys missed me at dinner…”

Nora sat up for this and let out a nervous laugh, “We do but you know…we don’t want to force you. If you go tonight, Hazel is paying.”

Y/N bit her together and played with her fingers, “I’m sorry…I didn’t realize that I was-”

“Y/N, we get it. Don’t put pressure on yourself just to make us happy. It won’t make you happy.”

Y/N nodded her head, does it make me happy to stay inside all day and night? I don’t even know if that’s healthy. Y/N glanced down at the picture framed and smiled, it was a picture of them in college. It was right after one of Meria’s games and Nora had a camera. She said she needed prove to her family that she had friends and was normal. She missed her friends but she couldn’t help the pit in her stomach from the outside world. It wasn’t fair to her nor to them.

She smiled at Nora, “Where are we having dinner?” 

The rain was peaceful, it created a melody that either put you to sleep or put panic into your mind. Yoongi continued to flip his pen between his fingers as he stared at the blank pages. Nothing. He thought the rain would help him come up with something but this time around, he got nothing. He finally fixed the melody that was corrupted and he thought it was time to create a new song. Obviously, he thought wrong. 

He stood up and left his studio. He walked down the empty hallways until he saw Jungkook walking towards him, “Hyung, do you want to come with me?”

“Where?”

“To Stardust. I have to pick a bouquet for my mom.”   

Stardust. That’s where… “Sure, I’ll go with you.” Curiosity was going to kill this cat, that was for sure. 

Stardust was everything Yoongi expected it to be. It was a light pink store with flowers through the window and door. The smell of fresh roses took over all his senses. They walked through the door and Jungkook waved his hand at the girl at the register, “That’s Meria, she’s great. She’s one of the owners of this place.”

Yoongi nodded his head at the new information and walked further into the store. He glanced around to see countless bouquets and balloons. It was so colorful that it would make Hoseok look black and white. 

“Ah, took your ass long enough.”

Jungkook pouted at her and rolled her eyes, “I just got your text.”

“So, I told you last night too.” Meria looked over his shoulders and smiled, “Hey, meow meow.”

Yoongi felt his eye twitch at this but gave her a polite smile, “My name is Yoongi.”

“No, I like meow meow. Kook, your bouquet was made by the one and only me.” 

Jungkook gave her a shy smile and Yoongi noticed the little redness in his cheek but didn’t say anything. Jungkook signed some paperwork and when he finished he looked around, “Where’s Y/N?”

This caused Yoongi to look around and Meria shrugged her shoulders, “She told me she needed to help Hazel with something and I don’t know what.”

Yoongi glanced at Meria, “Hazel? She’s with Hazel?”

Meria raised her eyebrow and slowly nodded her head, “Yes? Why?”

Yoongi let out a small cough and shrugged his shoulders, “Just asking.” 

Meria gave him a suspicious look but nodded her head, “Right, Jungkook follow me please~.” 

Yoongi watched the two leave and he made his way to the purple lilacs. They were shining so bright under the light and he couldn’t help but wonder about Y/N. She clouded his mind even though he had never met her. For once he didn’t want to stay in his studio. He was going to meet Y/N, no matter what. 

Y/N looked through the paperwork and glanced at Hazel who was stressed. It was Monday afternoon and even though they got most of it done there was still so much to get done. After four days of staying up, Hazel could finally see a dent in her work. Y/N frowned at her friend and gently took the folder out of her hands, “Hazel…maybe you should get something to eat.”

Hazel let out a sigh and nodded her head, “I do crave chocolate.” 

Y/N smiled at this and stood up, “I’ll get you some chocolate chip cookies from the cafe. It’ll make you feel better.” 

“Thank you Y/N, I appreciate it.”

Y/N smiled at this and grabbed her wallet and was off. She walked through the empty walls with awkwardness because she still didn’t know where to go. She walked down the stairs and took a sharp turn. She hit someone’s chest and she couldn’t help but gasp. She slowly looked up and she felt like a mouse.

“Y/N?” Hoseok gave her his signature smile and patted her head, “What are you doing here so late?”

Y/N glanced down at her shoes and then back at him, “I’m helping Hazel..”

“Oh, with scheduling? I knew she was having a hard time because she asked us directly what we wanted.”

Y/N nodded her head at this, “She overworking…I was going to get her some chocolate chip cookies from the cafe. I-I was wondering if you could-”

“I’ll help you, I’ll be your guiding light.” 

Y/N glanced down and saw Hoseok's arm was still around her waist. Y/N shimmed out of his gasp and bowed her head, “Thank you. I could buy you something if you want.”

“Nope, I won’t let you buy me anything. Now follow me.” 

They walked through the empty building and Y/N felt like she was in kindergarten following the teacher with rope. Hoseok opened the door and Y/N tilted her head, “Where are we?” 

“In the back room of the cafe. I’ll get you those cookies for free.”

Y/N shook her head, “I-I can’t do that. It’s not right.”

“Y/N it’s fine.” 

Y/N shook her head, “Let me buy…please.” 

Hoseok sighed and nodded his head, “Fine.” Hoseok grabbed three cookies and glanced down at her, “These would taste so good if they were free.”

“They’re going to taste better paid.”

Y/N walked through the halls with Hoseok and he was talking about the upcoming comeback. She listened and she couldn’t help but smile at his excitement. Hoseok tilted his head at her, “You know you remind me of someone.” 

“Who?”

“Yoongi. You guys are very similar.”

“Yoongi? Is he the cat one?”

Hoseok let out a loud laugh and patted her back, “That made my night.”

She looked at him with a confused look but slowly nodded her head, “You're welcome?” 

Yoongi let out a sneeze and Jin raised his eyebrow, “Someone is talking about you.”

“Shut up with that myth. It’s not real.”

Jin shrugged his shoulders, “Fine be a Debbie downer.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and continued to look through his files. He couldn’t help but wonder who was talking about him (not that he cared…).

“Meria, can you please help my cousin with football? He won’t leave me alone.” 

Another dinner and Y/N nervously accepted it. It was the second dinner in a row that she went and it was Hazel’s choice this time. Hazel picked the ramen place near her work in case she had an emergency meeting. 

Meria slurped up her noodles and looked at Hazel, “Doesn’t he have a team to do that?”

Hazel played with her noodles and shook her head, “Half of his team has their own private coaches to help them out. Every time he asks they ask him why don’t you have a private coach.” 

Meria sighed, “I can make time.” 

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” 

Y/N took a sip of her water and glanced at Hazel, “Have you met Yoongi?”

Hazel raised her eyebrow and nodded her head, “Yeah, why?”

Meria glanced at Nora and had a mischievous smile, “I know Yoongi was looking for you the other day.”

Nora smirked at this and looked at Y/N, “Oh? Interesting.”

Y/N felt her face get hot and looked away, “I never met him…I was just asking.”

Hazel gave her a gentle smile, “He’s kind of like you but more blunt.”

Meria leaned back in her chair with a smirk, “Maybe you’ll guys meet and fall in love.”

Hazel kicked her shin under the table and looked back at Y/N, “Maybe you'll meet when you're over helping me out.” 

“Maybe..”

Tuesday mornings were always difficult for Y/N. It was the day when she went to therapy and talked about her problems. She loved her friends but she just didn’t know how to tell them how she was feeling. She knew they were all ears but she didn’t want to burden them with her problems. So she was paying someone to listen to her and it made her feel less guilty. Problem solve. 

She took a sip of her tea and headed into the Hybe building. She had her headphones playing comforting music as she made her way to Hazel’s office. As she made her way through the crowd of people, on the other side Yoongi was walking with Hoseok to the cafe. 

“I’m just glad you're finally taking a break.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “I was craving something.”

“Like what? Pure caffeine?” 

“Actually no, I wanted the chocolate chip cookies.” 

Hoseok raised his eyebrow and let out a chuckle, “Yesterday, Y/N wanted the same ones.” 

Yoongi stopped in his tracks and looked at Hoseok with wide eyes, “Y/N?”

Hoseok stopped and turned towards him, “Yeah, she was here helping Hazel.” 

“You took her to get cookies?” 

Hoseok nodded his head, “Yeah, she wanted to get some cookies for Hazel because she was working really hard.” 

Yoongi nodded his head and started walking, “That’s nice of her.”

“Why?”

“No reason.” 

Y/N entered the office and gave Hazel a small wave, “Good morning.” 

Hazel looked up from her papers and smiled, “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

Y/N put her bag down on the floor and looked at Hazel, “Sure?”

“I ordered some muffins in the cafe downstairs. Can you pick them up for me?”

Y/N put her arm back into her jacket sleeve and nodded her head, “Under your name?”

“Yes, thank you. I wanted to get you that chocolate muffin you like so much.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back.” 

Y/N went back out and made her way through the busy hallways. She liked it better when there were fewer people, it was easier to navigate. Y/N walked down the stairs as her music played through her white headphones. She made a sharp turn and she hit someone’s chest. She blinked her eyes and slowly looked up to see dark brown eyes already looking at her, “Oh, Y/N, Hey.”

She looked to the side and saw Hoseok giving her a small smile. She slowly turned her head and quickly backed away with a bow, “I’m sorry.”

Yoongi looked Y/N up and down, honestly, he didn’t know what he expected. She was dressed in all black (besides her headphones) but her glasses were light pink. She kept averting her eyes away and he couldn’t help but tilt his head at her. She had this comforting aura and he wanted to learn more about her. She seemed mysterious but at the same time an open book. He could tell right away that she had social anxiety just with the way she was standing but he couldn’t read her eyes. He wanted to read her, he wanted to understand her. She gave him an awkward bow and said sorry again before making her way to the cafe. Yoongi turned his body to watch her and Hoseok couldn’t help but smirk at his friend, “You met Y/N.” 

“Ye-Yeah, I met Y/N.” Yoongi let out a small cough and turned around to quickly walk off before Hoseok said anything else. He knew this session was going to be long. 

Yoongi continued to stare at his screen and he couldn’t come up with anything. He wouldn’t say it was writer's block, it was more like he was distracted. His mind went back to Y/N. Meeting her last week has really put him in a weird place. He only knew her name and he barely said two words to her. He closed his document and glanced down at his phone, 13:14. He has time to make a visit. 

He grabbed his keys and headed out with his mask and all. He parked his car on the side and he went inside Stardust. He walked in but it wasn’t the peaceful sight that he walked into before. Y/N was getting berated by someone and he couldn’t help but glare, “Oi, leave her alone.” 

The girl turned around and scoffed, “She shouldn’t be working in an industry if she can’t talk.”

“Well maybe if you clean your ears you can hear her.” Y/N smiled at this and she looked at shoes. Yoongi glanced at her when she did this and he felt his chest get lighter. Yoongi looked back at the girl and crossed his arms over his chest, “Are we done here?”

The girl scoffed at this and walked out but she made sure her shoulder bumped into Yoongis. He rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle when the door closed. Y/N looked up and gave him a small smile, “Sorry about that.”

Yoongi shook his head and walked closer to her, “You shouldn’t be sorry for someone else's actions.” 

“Still...”

Yoongi pulled down his mask and gave her a small smile, “I didn’t introduce myself last time...I’m Yoongi.”

Y/N looked into his brown eyes and then at her flowers, “I know...meow meow, right?”

Yoongi let out a small chuckle and nodded his head, “Yeah, meow meow. You already know me?” It’s cute when she calls me that. 

Y/N looked back at him and nodded her head, “It’s hard not to notice you. You’re the one that sets the team in motion with your lyrics...especially with your skills at conveying emotions...”

“You...you noticed all of that?” 

She nodded her head and looked down at her flowers. Despite the cold air from the AC, Y/N felt her cheeks begin to burn and she had to look away from his dark curious eyes. Throughout her final days at helping Hazel, she kept asking about Yoongi. Ever since Hoseok said she was like Yoongi she couldn’t help but be curious. All the stories that were told to her made her feel like an expert at knowing him but at the same time an amateur, “Well, you and the rest of the guys are kind of...kind of everywhere.” Y/N stammered out and she couldn’t help but play with her fingers, “I hear your music every day and it’s comforting-”

“You think my music is comforting?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

It was Yoongi’s turn to feel the heat from his face and he was thankful he wasn’t standing under the light. He rubbed his neck, “Th-Thanks.”

Y/N let out a cough and turned towards her flowers as she went through some paperwork, “Sorry...I talk too much.”

“I don’t think so.” 

Y/N glanced at Yoongi over her shoulder and then back at her paper, “Did you have an order to pick up?”

Yoongi cursed under his breath, he didn’t think he would get this far with talking to her. Yoongi looked up at the ceiling and then back at her, “No, I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I felt bad I didn’t do it on that day and I’ve been thinking about-sorry I’m talking too much.”

Y/N let out a small laugh, “I don’t think so..”

Yoongi stared at her face when he saw her laugh and in this moment he was undeniably happier (he wasn’t going to tell anyone that...) 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“I heard you met Yoongi.”

Y/N eyes widened and she dropped the flowers onto the table. She let out a small cough as she picked them up trying to act like nothing happened, “I told you I went to get pizza after closing the shop early and then I went to Tuna's vet appointment.” 

Meria pursed her lips and glanced at Hazel who was avoiding eye contact (she didn’t want to get ratted out), “That’s strange because an office lady that works god-forsaken hours saw Yoongi coming back with a small vase of flowers without any of his members around to annoy the peace.” 

Y/N picked up the bouquet and hid her face, “I may have left out some details.” 

Nora dropped her scissors, “What happened? The one time we didn’t come and help.”

“It’s not what you think...”

“Well it sounds like it was a good conversation” Meria joked as she walked towards Y/N’s table, “What happened? Pleaseeeeee telllll usss!~” 

“This was an angry customer...” Y/N placed the bouquet back on the table and stared at the dark wood, “She was mad that my voice wasn’t loud and started to go off on me. Yoongi came and told the girl off, making her leave. We talked for a little bit before I had to get food and take Tuna to her appointment.” 

“Wait...your appointment was at 15:00. You talked for two hours?” 

Y/N shook her head at Meria, “I told you to stop going through the logs.”

“I’m nosy. That shouldn’t be a crime.” 

Hazel scrunched her face at this, “It’s a crime.”

Nora rolled her eyes at this, “We’re getting off track.”

“There’s nothing more to talk about. Yoongi came in and told that girl off...he bought some flowers. End of story.” 

Hazel shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. When he came into my office afterward, that was the most I’ve seen him smiling without his members.” 

Meria snorted and looked at Y/N, “You heard that.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes (with her face feeling hot) and went through the paperwork, “No, I didn’t.” 

Nora looked at Meria and then back at Hazel, “Should we go through the video to find the girl.”

“Nora, you’re not going through my security tape to find the girl. The three of you give me a headache.”

Hazel smiled at this, “You’re welcome.” 

Y/N couldn’t stop herself from smiling and shook her head, “Thanks.” 

Three times a week, Y/N was at Hybe’s office helping Hazel with extra paperwork. Her office may be small but it was cozy with all her plants around. The new paperwork was on the business side and Hazel asked Y/N if she could help (since Y/N had a business degree). Y/N agreed because it got out of the flower shop and Meria asked her to take a break from the shop. She’s taking a break from her job just to be working another job. Sounds about right. She should be taking a break with her cat but she finds going through paperwork relaxing. 

Y/N handed Hazel a stack of paper and smiled, “I finished another pile.” 

Hazel smiled at this, “At this point, you should just work here.”

Y/N shook her head, “I just like helping you. I’m going to get some tea, do you want anything?”

“I’m good.” 

Y/N made her way to the cafe and sat in the back with her tea as she went through her music. She closed her eyes as she waited for her tea to cool down a bit. She let her music take her to her daydreams. Just as Y/N was doing this, Yoongi walked into the cafe with Jin talking his ear off. Y/N passed the tables but he noticed Y/N in the back and he turned away from Jin to glance at her. He turned away quickly because he didn’t want to hear Jin’s teasing. They stood in line and nodded their head at Jin but Yoongi couldn’t help himself to glance at Y/N. 

Jin stopped talking when he saw that Yoongi wasn’t paying attention and followed his eyes. It all clicked when he saw Y/N. He heard the story from Jungkook and Hazel about his interaction with Y/N at her flower shop the other week. It was rare to hear Yoongi getting flushed with a compliment. Usually, he would play cool with them but to get flushed, never. 

Y/N looked up and saw Yoongi looking at her. She gave him a soft smile and a small wave. Yoongi straightened up his back and gave her a small nod. Jin smiled and at that moment he found himself almost glad that Yoongi liked Y/N. (Not that he would admit but Jin knew all...obviously). 

Y/N picked up her tea and made her way to Yoongi. She smiled at him, “Hazel told me you have a performance coming up.”

“Yeah, I’m excited. It’s been a while since we performed.”

Y/N glanced down and then back at Yoongi. She gestured for Yoongi to lean in closer and he blinked his eyes in confusion before he obliged. Y/N tilted her head to whisper in his ear, “I know this is biased but...I think you’ll be the best performer there.” Her hair whipped around her as she turned away from Yoongi and before she could walk away from Yoongi, she glanced at him, “Good luck.”

Yoongi watched her leave the cafe and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Jin rolled his eyes and let out a small cough, “Do you want coffee or not loverboy?”

“Shut up.”

The next day, Yoongi made his way to the cafe to see Y/N with her tea. Yoongi rubbed his hands against his jeans and took a deep breath. Y/N took a bite of her cake and looked up when she heard footsteps. She took off her headphones and smiled at Yoongi, “Hey.”

Yoongi waved and pulled the chair out to sit in front of her, “Weird question...are you good with computers?”

Y/N tilted her head and nodded her head, “It depends. What's up?”  

“Just having issues with saving.”

“I can take a look but I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”

They walked back to his studio and the two made small talk. She was telling him about her cat and he was telling her how he wanted to adopt a cat. A black cat to be specific. She looked down at his doormat and laughed, “That’s very you.”

Yoongi smiled to himself as he entered the code, “It was mostly towards Jimin and Taehyung.” 

“I’m sure they got the message.” 

He closed the door and Y/N looked around. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but seeing real machines that make music left her in awe. She didn’t even know what they were called. She stood awkwardly and Yoongi spun the chair for her to sit. She gave him a small smile and sat in the black chair. She pushed herself near the computer and glanced up at him, “What did you want me to look at?”

“My music file...It was corrupted and I was wondering if you could help me. Hazel said you were good with computers.” 

Y/N shook her head at this and placed her hand on his mouse, “I wouldn’t say good...tolerable would be better.”  

Yoongi took another chair and sat next to her, “I would say good.”

“You haven’t even seen me work on computers.” 

“So, I just know it's going to be good because of you.”

Y/N felt her face turn hot but she shook her head and faced the computer, “I’ll try my best.” 

Y/N went through his computer and it wasn’t until she felt his hand on top of her other hand. She wanted to glance down but she knew if she did, she wouldn’t be able to stay in the room with him. After twenty minutes, she figured it out. Yoongi moved his hand and she turned towards him with a smile, “I figured it out.” 

Yoongi smiled at her and looked at the screen, “Thanks, I’ve been having trouble with this stupid thing.”

“I’m happy I was able to help you. I have to go, Hazel’s texting me.”

Yoongi stood up and put his hands in his pocket, “Yeah, go ahead. Thanks for helping. I really appreciate it.”

Y/N looked away from his brown eyes because she felt like if she looked at him, she would steam up. She nodded her head and gave him a small wave as she closed the door, she didn’t hear the footsteps. 

“What did Yoongi need?”

Y/N jumped slightly and placed her hand over her heart. She turned to see Namjoon with a curious look, “He had trouble saving this corrupt file...I helped him.”

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at this, “Corrupt file? Yoongi fixed that a while ago.”

Y/N felt her body get hotter and she slowly nodded her head, “Oh? I-I’m glad I could help.” 

Hazel had snuck the girls into the after-party of BTS performance in the Hybe building, but the energy in the room was so excitable that no one even noticed them. The soju and beer was flowing and Y/N noticed some younger trainers enjoying the loudness. Y/N took a sip of her water and let out a small laugh when Jimin told her the story about Jungkook the other day at the gym. She leaned her tired head on Nora’s shoulder as she listened to all the stories being thrown at her in the small circle. 

Across the room, Yoongi stood with Hazel as he leaned against the wall with a beer. He glanced at Y/N and then at Hazel. Yoongi saw an opportunity and now that he was alone with Hazel he could ask, “So...Y/N.” Yoongi began, taking a sip of his beer to calm his nerves, “Is she dating anyone?”

Hazel let out a small laugh and took a sip of her soju, “Took you long enough.” 

Yoongi whipped his head and stared at her with wide eyes, “How did you know? I thought I was being subtle.” 

“That was you being subtle? It would be successful if I was blind.” Hazel emphasized, “Namjoon told me about the file thing.” 

He felt embarrassment flow through his body, “Shut up...do...do you think I have a shot?” 

Hazel raised her eyebrow and took a sip of her soju, “Y/N is the most genuine and kind person you’ll ever meet. She tends to keep things to herself and she tries to talk to us but she stops herself. I don’t even think she realizes she does it.” 

“How do you know how she's feeling?” 

“You take the time to get to know her. Between you and me...I think you might have a shot.” With that Hazel left Yoongi to join her friends from the other side of the room. Yoongi’s eyes searched through the crowd and he stopped when he saw Y/N laughing at something Meria said. “I think you might have a shot...” 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Spring flew by and before she knew it she was heading to the airport to visit family like she always did for spring. Everyone came to say their goodbyes and she was surprised the whole group had time to see her off. She was talking to Meria but her eyes kept drifting to Yoongi who was talking to Hazel. 

Her grip around Meria’s arm tightened and she looked down at her, “Nervous?”

Y/N nodded her head, “I hate going...”

“You love seeing your parents. Think of that and not the flight itself.” 

“I-I’ll try my best. I just don’t like flying.” 

Meria patted her head, “Just focus on your music or you can talk to one of us. Always here for you.”

Y/N nodded her head and she let go of Meria’s arm. She looked down at her phone and made a sharp turn but she collided with someone and nearly fell to the floor, “I’m so sorry-”

“Why is it that we’re always colliding with each other?” 

Y/N looked up and saw Yoongi giving her that smile that she only saw on Run BTS! She let out a small cough, “I can be a little oblivious but I’m usually not this clumsy.”

Yoongi chuckled at her nervous smile and helped her back to her feet, “Why did you make a turn?”

She felt embarrassment go through her body and she looked down at her shoes, “There's this cafe that has a cake that I like.”

“Oh is it that strawberry cake with champagne?” 

Y/N looked back up at him and her eyes were wide, “You remember that? I only mentioned it once.” 

“I remember what you like, don’t worry.” 

Jin looked over his shoulders and rolled his eyes, “Okay, lovebirds, Y/N you have a flight to catch.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and nodded his head towards the cafe, “Let’s get you that cake before you board.” He grabbed her hand and his other hand took her luggage. She glanced down at his hand and felt a surge of happiness through her body. She bit her lip and she softly said his name causing him to glance at her over his shoulder, “I was wondering...do you want to share your number with me so we can talk? If that’s okay.” 

They entered the cafe and he ignored the teasing smiles from the group. He looked down at Y/N and gave her his gummy smile, “Yeah, let’s get your cake first.” 

She sat on the plane and she glanced at her phone with a smile. She brought up Yoongi’s name and she took a deep breath, I just got on :) 

Not even a minute passed and she felt her phone buzzing, Text me when you get there. Get some sleep. I know you worked late last night at the flower shop. 

I will. Thanks for caring.

Always for you. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

The trip to her parents was relaxing but it did feel strange not doing anything. During her time with her mom, she was taught how to knit. For someone who has never touched a needle, she was really good at it. She made everyone simple socks but for Yoongi she made him a beanie with a small Y on it. Summer was the time when Meria always had stuff planned for the group and usually Y/N would think twice about going. This year it’s different and Y/N was excited for whatever Meria planned. The summer felt slow but anything could happen with the summer sun blazing. 

“A football match?” 

Meria nodded her head and handed out jerseys from her bag, “Surprise” 

Y/N glanced at Nora who shrugged her shoulders, “I didn’t even know she could afford these tickets.”

“Yah, I have ears.”

“Unfortunately” 

Hazel put the jersey on and looked at Meria, “You do realize we have no idea what’s going on, right?”

Meria nodded her head, “My dad surprised me with these tickets and I wanted to go with my best friends.” 

“There’s a catch.”

Hazel smacked Nora’s shoulder and looked at Meria, “What’s the catch?”

Meria shook her head, “No catch, I didn’t want to go with my brothers.” 

When the group finally reached the stadium, they ended up having to climb more stairs than any of the girls anticipated. But the further they went up, Y/N ignored the ache in her thighs and focused on the excitement that was building up. 

Meria was the first to enter the box and when she looked inside she let a small snort out, “This is going to be fun.” 

Y/N looked at her with a confused look and walked in. Her eyes landed on the small group and she couldn’t fully recognize them until one of them fully turned, “Y/N?”

Y/N felt her heart skip a beat when she heard Yoongi’s voice and she didn’t understand how he managed to get more attractive while she was gone. There was a small nudge on Y/N’s shoulder and she realized it was Nora who was pushing her forward because she was frozen in place. 

Y/N waved shyly at Yoongi as she made her way over to him, “I thought I was going to see you tomorrow but this is a nice surprise.”

Yoongi glanced at Hoseok to make sure he wasn’t listening, “It is. I really liked the beanie by the way.”

She looked at him with excitement, “Really? You liked it? I’m glad it got to you. It was my first time knitting and sending something out like that.”

Yoongi opened his bag and pulled out the black-knitted beanie, “I’ve been carrying it around ever since I got it.” 

Y/N felt her heartbeat get faster and she swallowed her spit, “Really? It’s not that special...”

“It's the most important part of my outfit. For every outfit.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh, “I’m glad you like it.”

“Oi, Y/N, our seats are over here.” 

Y/N turned around and saw Nora giving her that knowing smirk that she hated. She turned back to Yoongi and gave him a small wave, “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, you will.” 

The next day, Y/N saw Yoongi. He texted her to come and visit his studio and she couldn’t help contain her excitement. She looked down at the familiar rug and entered the studio. She saw Yoongi on his couch on his phone and she raised her eyebrow, “You're not on your computer?” 

Yoongi looked up and locked his phone, putting it on the coffee table, “I was waiting for you.” 

She hated the butterflies in her stomach and she tried her best to swallow some confidence. She twirled her fingers together and gave him a smile, “You said you wanted to show me something?” 

“I do.” Yoongi made his way to his desk and picked up a bag behind his monitor. He slowly turned around and gave her a sheepish smile, “Don’t make fun of me.”

She glanced down at the bag and then at him as she blinked her eyes. He nodded his head and she gently took the bag. She slowly opened the black fabric and Yoongi could hear his heart through the silent room. She took out the knit with her initials and she glanced at him with a confused look, “Did...Did you make this?”

Yoongi rubbed his neck and nodded his head, “I went to visit my mom last week and I asked her to teach me...It was a quick lesson and I know-”

“I love it.” She put the beanie on and she gave him a wide smile with her eyes closed, “I really love it.”

Yoongi has never seen her do this type of smile and he could make a beat with how loud his heart was going. Y/N opened her eyes and knew the feelings she had for Yoongi couldn’t be pushed down any longer. And that was scary. 

Later that evening, Y/N invited Nora over to finish watching Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. During the scene where Malfoy gets punched, Nora slowly turns towards Y/N on the couch, “You like Yoongi, don’t you?” 

Keeping her gaze on the screen, Y/N was quiet for a few moments before, barely above a whisper, she asked, “How did you know? 

“You're extra nervous around him and jumpy whenever you see Yoongi.” 

“Am I that obvious?” Y/N questioned in a horrified whisper as she looked away from the screen to look at Nora. 

Nora shook her head, “If you were more obvious, you would be with Yoongi at this moment.” Y/N glanced at the screen and then at her fingers as Nora continued to study her. Nora placed her hand on her thigh and gave her a comforting smile, “Why are you scared to admit you like him?”

“If I admit I have...feelings for him,” Y/N glanced at Nora, “Then he could be another person that could reject me...I can’t handle that.” 

“Trust me, if you saw the way Yoongi looks at you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” 

In Hazel’s office, she was typing away when the door was open wide. She glanced up from her paperwork and raised her eyebrow at the scene. Yoongi was with Jimin and Taehyung, it was clear Yoongi was embarrassed but she didn’t know why. 

She stopped typing and leaned back in her chair, “What the hell is going on?” 

“Tell him to ask out Y/N already.” 

“She talks about her every day and even re-read their texts. It's annoying.” 

Yoongi pushed Jimin’s arm around his shoulder and scoffed, “I don’t do that.” 

Taehyung turned towards Hazel and gave her a disbelieving look, “Hazel, he knitted her a hat.”

Hazel raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh, “And she’s convinced that you don’t like her.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow, “What was that?” 

“Nothing, just know, you're stupid.” 

This dinner was different, Hazel invited the rest of BTS to it and Y/N was nervous and she hated the feeling of being nervous (well this was a different kind of nervous). Y/N sat at the table with Yoongi sitting next to her as she listened to the chatter around them. Yoongi glanced down at her and pushed some hair away from her face, “Deep in thought?”

Y/N looked at Yoongi and saw his dark brown eyes. Her chest started hurting and she knew she couldn’t hide her feelings for much longer. But right now, she's going to become the greatest actress in the world, “Just thinking about what I want. That’s it.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow and nodded his head, “What don’t you get that steak you like with the salad.”

He remembers... “Yeah, I was going to get that...”

Nora glanced at them and smiled. She leaned towards Hazel with a small smile, “I think it's going to happen soon.”

Hazel smacked Nora’s shoulder, “Don’t be so loud.” Hazel watched the two and how close they were getting, “But yes...I think it’s going to happen soon.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“A ball?”

Nora nodded her head in annoyance, “My father wants this grand ball for my birthday. So annoying.”

Meria glanced at Y/N and then back at Nora, “How dare he want to celebrate your birthday.” 

Y/N took a bite of her steak and shrugged her shoulders, “It could be fun...you never know.” 

Nora played with her meatball and rolled her eyes, “It’s in three days.” 

Hazel choked on her pasta, “Three days? Your birthday is literally in two months. Why three days?” 

“Complicated...” 

Y/N looked at Nora with a shy smile, “Did you invite BTS?”

Nora smirked at her and nodded her head, “Of course I did.” She glanced at Meria and gave her a small smirk, “I bet Jungkook is going to ask you.”

Meria picked up the knife and pointed at her, “I could cut you.”

Hazel flicked Meria’s forehead and looked around the restaurant in embarrassment, “You can act like that in our houses but in public, come on.” 

“She started it.” 

Nora’s family was known throughout college as the rich ones. Nora thought it was annoying to attend parties or even socializing with people with the same status. They were boring in her mind. The girls have been to her ball before but nothing like this. 

Hazel gave her a soft smile, “Was it because they forgot last year?”

Nora took a bite of her meatball, “That’s part of it.”

Meria raised her eyebrow at this, “What’s the other part?”

Y/N gently placed her hand on top of Nora’s, “You can tell us.” 

Nora sighed and nodded her head, “They're going on a cruise and I won’t see them until next year. They just told me this yesterday.”

Meria scoffed at this and shook her head, “Assholes.” 

Hazel gave her a comforting smile, “We’ll be together.” 

Nora shrugged her shoulders, “I honestly don’t care about the party. I asked for all of my favorite foods and that’s all I need. Y/N and Meria will probably have dates, so Hazel is all mine.” 

Meria rolled her eyes, “You're annoying, you know that.”

“I do.” 

Y/N bit her lip and the thought of having a date and there was one person that she wanted to be her date. Hazel caught this and smirked to herself. 

After dinner Hazel saw Yoongi going back to his studio and smiled to herself. She followed him to his office but put her bag in the middle of the door to stop it from closing. Yoongi raised his eyebrow and opened the door with his foot. His hands were already full with his notebooks because he was getting to write a song, “Hazel, what’s up?”

“I’m only doing this because I know Y/N is too terrified to do it herself. Plus, I know you're inevitably going to take her to Nora’s birthday ball.”  

“Terrified to do what?” 

“Admit she likes you.” 

Yoongi dropped his notebooks and looked at her with disbelief, “Y/N likes me?” 

“I’m not saying anything else.” 

“You barely said anything.” 

“I’ve said enough.” Hazel turned around to walk away and she knew Yoongi was following her. She turned around and looked at Yoongi with a know-it-all look, “Y/N likes you. Now do something about it, producer boy.” 

Y/N was going to her flower shop after having her late lunch. She unlocked the door and was immediately met with Meria with a suspicious look, “What did you do?”

“First of all, ouch. Second of all, follow the candles to your office.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow and looked down to see the candles that Meria was talking about. She glanced at her with furrowed eyebrows, “Is this a prank?”  

“No, I wouldn’t prank...Hazel yelled at me last time. Just follow the damn candles.” 

Y/N placed her coat on the coat hanger and did what Meria told her to do. She opened the door and saw Yoongi leaning against her desk with a nervous look. She tilted her head at him, “I’m glad it's not a prank.” 

Yoongi let out a small laugh, “I have something to ask you.”

Y/N’s brain went into overdrive but she kept a calm face to him. She couldn't give her hopes up. Yoongi reached behind him and picked up a bouquet of purple lilacs. The calm face that she tried to keep on but it disappeared when the smell of lilacs hit her nose. She slowly walked towards him and her fingertips touched the petals. Yoongi watched her fingers trace the petals, “I-uh..These are for you.” 

Y/N grinned brightly and accepted the flowers, “What’d I do to deserve these?” 

“If I name all the reasons why you deserve these flowers then we would be here for eternity.” He took a deep breath and grabbed her free hand with his gummy smile, “Would you be my date for Nora’s ball?”

Y/N stared at Yoongi with shock. She couldn’t believe that Yoongi was sitting in front of her in the first place. She placed the bouquet of flowers on her desk behind him and interlaced their fingers together tighter with a soft smile as Yoongi returned the same smile, “I would love to be your date.” 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

She didn’t want to admit it but Y/N was weak at the knees every time she pictured Yoongi taking her to the ball. She felt like a girl in school when their crush asked them out (well she never had that but she watched netflix shows). She didn’t show anything to the girls but they could easily tell from the way she laughed much more and how she's more talkative, that something happened. 

Nora let her borrow her old dresses and it was the most beautiful dress that she has ever seen. It was a light blue ball gown with asymmetrical neckline with floral embroidery all around the dress. Nora has never worn it but it felt like it was made for Y/N. Hazel was brushing Y/N’s with a soft smile, “You look beautiful.” 

Y/N glanced down at the vanity and she felt the heat rise, “Thank you...you do too.” 

The girls walked out of Nora’s room and walked down her grand staircase. Sometimes seeing how rich Nora was, shocked Y/N. She watched Meria make her way to Jungkook while Nora and Hazel went towards the drinks and she was alone until she wasn’t. At the bottom of the staircase, Yoongi stared at Y/N with pure shock. He knew she was pretty and she was a cute girl but this...this was different. Her glasses matched her dress and her hair was done perfectly. Even though the staircase had a dim glow, she was the brightest light he had ever seen. He made his way to her and grabbed her hand as she glanced down at their fingers. Yoongi stared at her and let out an awkward laugh, “Hi.”

“Hey.” Y/N felt her cheeks burning so much it felt like they were on fire. She gave him a shy smile and then she looked down at her tulle skirt. 

“You look..you look beautiful.”

“You look amazing, Yoongi. I always liked you in a suit.” 

Yoongi glanced at the others in the main room and then back at Y/N, “Shall we?” 

Y/N nodded her head, “Yeah...” 

She intertwined their fingers and made their way into the main room with all their friends. The music began to play and Y/N glanced at Yoongi, “You dance all the time...are you going to show me your moves?”

Yoongi gave her a small smirk and fixed his tie in a playful manner, “I can try, Ms. L/N.”

They swayed around the room with Meria and Jungkook behind them for most of the time. At the moment, Y/N didn’t see them. She saw Yoongi and only him. They continued to dance and he twirled her around once more causing her to laugh at the gesture. This continued for four more songs and Y/N took his hand to head out of the main room. Yoongi didn’t question it because it was time with her. She made her way towards the door and gave Yoongi a small mischievous look, “There’s a good hiding place. I know.” 

They went through Nora’s parents' garden and Y/N sat next to the small pond with an abundance of flowers around them. Yoongi sat next to her and she leaned into him, “It’s peaceful here...I used to come out here all the time when I was sleeping over.”

Yoongi intertwined their fingers together and leaned his head against her, “Oh, Why?”

“I was overthinking...I couldn’t sleep because of it.”

“You tend to do that a lot...why were you overthinking?”

Y/N let out a humorless laugh and sighed, “I had a crush on this guy and...he rejected me. He was my first ever crush and he rejected me in a rude way. Not even nice and it made me feel like no one would...no one would accept me.” 

“He’s an idiot. He can’t see the bright light that you are.” 

She leaned away from Yoongi and sat up straighter giving him her full attention, “Bright light? Is that how you see me?”

“Bright light, the ending to my beginning...so much more.” Yoongi took a deep breath and he decided he was going to get over his fears, “I like you..I like you a lot, Y/N. I-I’ve felt this for a while now. I’ve liked you for so long that I don’t remember exactly when I started liking you. I just knew I liked you so much that music became my second thought. I don’t want to ruin anything-” 

Y/N cupped his cheek and gave him a soft smile, “You're not ruining anything.” She whispered before pressing her lips against his. The two broke apart and Yoongi couldn’t help but let his gummy smile show up. Y/N intertwined their fingers together and she stared at his fingers, “I’m not the best at talking about my feelings...I’m trying my best to show how I feel. I like you so much Yoongi and I want to be with you.” 

“You do?”

Y/N laughed at his bashful smile and nodded, “I really do...I really do, Yoongi.” 

Yoongi leaned down and she placed his lips on hers again with the moon shining against the pond.  

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

The start of Y/N’s and Yoongi’s relationship was soft and sweet (ignoring the embarrassing moments from Jimin and Hoseok the night after Nora's ball). Every time Y/N saw Yoongi, she felt a good nervous. It wasn’t like before but she was still nervous. Yoongi would show up at her flower shop and surprise her with her favorite lunch or he would come to her apartment to play with Tuna. It was the perfect pace for her and she couldn’t imagine her affection to Yoongi to deepen but it did. 

“What is this place?”

Yoongi gave her a chuckle and opened the door, “This is Hybe’s music room. This is where all the instruments are.” 

She walked up the piano and played a messy melody as Yoongi watched in awe. She turned around and looked at Yoongi, “I’m so jealous of you. The fact that you know how to play piano. I wish I had learned.”

Yoongi pulled the seat out and patted the dark wood, “Sit next to me.” Y/N did what Yoongi said and watched his skillful fingers play a melody. She watched like how a painter painted his work and Yoongi couldn't help but feel his pride spiked up. He turned towards her and grabbed her fingers, “I’ll show you how to play.” 

They played simple notes and Y/N leaned against him, “Has music always been your thing?” 

Yoongi nodded and kissed the top of her head, “I’ve always loved music...It started as rap verses I would write at school or even making random songs in my room. I guess music has always been there for me. What about you, has flowers always been your thing?” 

Y/N chuckled at this and nodded her head, “I love flowers. Each of them have different meanings and the combination of flowers can mean something...it’s so fun watching people’s minds come up with new combinations. It just shows how much they pay attention to the other person.” 

“That’s cute of you.”

Y/N shyly looked down at the ivory keys and a question came to mind, “When you asked me out with the purple lilacs...did-”

“I knew what they meant.” 

She stopped playing and turned to her side to face Yoongi, “You knew what they meant?”

“That’s why I picked them out...well I also picked them out because when I first came to your store, I saw purple lilacs under the light.” 

“When was this?” 

Yoongi pushed some hair off of her forehead, “When Jungkook needed to pick up an order. I came along...I came along because I wanted to meet you.” 

“Me-Me?

Yoongi chuckled at her reaction and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Everyone kept talking about you and I never met you. I wanted to know you but it felt like every time I tried I just missed you. Then that day when you ran into me...I met you.” 

“You never told me this.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing.”

She shook her head and cupped his face. She placed a quick kiss on his lips and smiled, “I think it’s sweet.”

“Don’t call me that. I have an image to uphold.”

She chuckled and shook her head, “Well it's a good thing that things can change for the better.” 

Yoongi nodded his head and placed a kiss on her cheek, “Changing my plans and being my perfect distraction. What more can I want in this world?” 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

It’s amazing how fast seasons pass when you don’t have anxiety building up. One minute it was fall and now it's winter again. Meria was finally going out with Jungkook after a wild proposal from him. Y/N helped Jungkook with the flowers but after that, it was all him. Stardust started to become busier because of the holidays and it felt like she hadn't seen Yoongi in forever. They’ve been together for seven months already and she couldn’t believe it. This was the first time she celebrated New Years with a partner, it was a good feeling. 

Y/N was finishing cleaning the shop when the door opened. She smiled because she already knew who it was. She turned around and placed the broom against the wall. She quickly made her way and wrapped her arms around Yoongi as he gave her a tight squeeze. He kissed the side of her head and smiled, “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, Yoon.” He put her back down and she glanced down at her feet with shyness, “I saw your concept pictures...a suit?” 

Yoongi smirked and ran his fingers through his hair. He did it just for her because he knew how much she liked him in a suit, “You like it?” 

She slowly looked up and nodded her head, “I do...”

Yoongi wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head, “Just for you baby.” 

“Do you want to go to my apartment or do you want me to go to yours?” 

Yoongi released and thought about it, “I want to see Tuna.” 

“Sometimes I feel like you're only with me for Tuna.” 

“Maybe I am, Ms. L/N.”

Y/N smirked at this and kissed the tip of his nose, “Then I’ll tell Hazel.” 

“I was joking, don’t do that. She’s scary.” 

She finished closing up the shop and the two walked to Yoongi’s car. The drive to her apartment was filled with laughs and soft touches. When they entered her apartment, Yoongi closed the door and pushed her against the door as she laughed, “What you doing, Mr. Min?”

“Showing my beautiful girlfriend how much I love her. Is that okay?” 

Y/N leaned in to place a passionate kiss against his lips. When she leaned away, she nodded her head, “Of course it’s okay.” 

He picked her up and she let out a loud laugh as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Yoongi closed the door (making sure Tuna was outside) and gently tossed Y/N onto her soft blankets. He took off his shirt and slowly made his way to her. He towered over her and kissed her lips as if he was going to die if he didn’t. When moved away he kissed her cheek, “I need you here...always. I love you.”

She looked at him with wide eyes, this was the first time they said it. Yoongi looked at her shocked face and kissed her lips again, “You don’t have to say it back-”

“I love you so much Min Yoongi.” 

Yoongi froze in his spot and glanced into her eyes, “Yeah?”

She nodded her head and cupped his face, “You made me realize I was missing something...I love you Yoongi.” She took his hand and placed it on her chest and he felt her heartbeat, “My heart beats like this for you...and only you.” 

He leaned down and kissed her again, “Do you want to?”

She knew what he was asking and kissed his neck (the sensitive spot), “Yeah...” 

He pushed her hair away from her face and smiled, “Whatever you want, baby.” 

The next morning, Y/N woke up early to feed Tuna and to make breakfast. Yoongi walked out shirtless and he saw her cooking in his shirt. He couldn’t stop his heart from beating fast. He quietly made his way towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Can you shut off the stove?

“Why?”

He ran his fingers down and she felt his cold fingertips against her stomach. She bit her lip from moaning and he kissed the side of her neck, “I wanted to take a shower with you.”

“I can have a shower...and then eat.” 

The breakfast that she was making was never finished and it stayed there until the afternoon. She blamed Yoongi for her wasting food. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Spring is when things are borned and Y/N experienced just that. Her Shop became plural. Stardust and Ethereal, the two light pink shops caught the eyes of anyone walking on the street. Spring time was a special time, especially the mornings. Mornings brought inner peace and it was the quiet that used to comfort her but now if she didn’t hear Yoongi’s deep voice saying good morning then the morning was ruined.  

She styled her hair and put her glasses on to get on with her day. She walked outside and said her good mornings to Tuna and the newest addition Toothless (a black cat that Yoongi begged for). She walked into the living room and plopped herself right next to Yoongi who leaned down to give her a kiss on the check, “Are you ready to go to work?” 

Y/N shook her head, “Ten more minutes. Meria can survive.” 

“Can she? She’s already texting me.” 

Y/N chuckled at this and stood up from the couch, “Fine, I guess I’ll go to work.” 

Yoongi took his keys out of his pocket and smiled at her, “I told you no more bus. You got me.”

She let out a puff of air and nodded her head, “Fine, let’s go stubborn.” 

Yoongi held her hand as they walked down her apartment stairwell while her headphones were softly in her bag. He listened to every word of her story and how busy it was today because it was the first day of spring. The countless orders from idols was nothing new but the sheer amount at both stores was new. Yoongi opened her car door and she gave him a kiss on his cheek. It was like any other day. 

He placed his hand on top of her thigh as he drove through the semi busy city, “Namjoon texted me to get my ass in the studio before he locks me up in there.” 

Y/N let out a laugh and stared through the window, “It was our date night. He knows the drill.” 

“He said, " Who would’ve thought I’m telling you to work on music.”

She turned her head and gave him an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry...am I taking you away too much?” 

“No, you should just keep me in your room forever.” 

“Is that where you want to be?”

“Honestly, anywhere with you, I’ll be perfectly fine with.” 

Y/N opened her door to Ethereal and smiled, “Good morning, Meria.” 

Meria turned around and glared at her, “You're late.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and placed her coat on the hook, “I wasn’t late and you know that.”

Nora pointed her finger at Meria, “She just came a minute ago. She was too busy with Jungkook in her-”

“Shut the fuck up Nora.”

Hazel sighed and walked up to the shorter girl and gave her small hug, “How was the ride with Yoongi?”

“Perfect.” Y/N clapped her hands together, “Okay, we have a busy day. We have multiple orders from SM and JYP. Let’s start with the biggest orders because that’s going to take us the longest.” 

Nora nodded her head, “Yes boss. I bought buns, it’s in your office.” 

“Thank you Nora.” 

Y/N put her apron on and let the soft jazz play as she ignored the bickering between Nora and Meria, “These bouquets go to Seventeen at Hybe, Hazel can you take Nora for that?” 

“Yeah-”

“I want to go to Hybe.”

Y/N looked at Meria and shook her head, “You just want to see Jungkook. No.”

Meria pouted and sat back down at her station, “Fine.”

She rolled her eyes and felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She took her phone out and she smiled when she saw Yoongi in the studio working. She never thought that his smile would bring her comfort nor would she ever experience his rare friendship. For the ending of her first beginning, Yoongi was everything she needed and more. She never knew she needed him and vice versa. 

“Y/N, did you hear me?”

She shook her head, “What was that, Meria?”

“Yoongi is here with your tea.” Y/N smiled at this and walked towards him placing a kiss on his lips, her accidental happily ever after and she was his perfect distraction.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Tag list:

@forever-atiny @wobblewobble822 @jajabro @busanbby-jjk @lynnnnnnn23 @dna-black-and-blue @amaroho @shinaely @ukndtwme

[universalincubal]

Hey there. So I was in Nazi circles as a child until adulthood and came from red Northern and Southern California, the Deep South, and am now living in that funky part of the Midwest where it's still segregated but pretends to like queer people (super weird). So I've lived in and have stomping grounds in a good chunk of the USA. I am now 21 years old, just to make this a little clearer.

Anecdotally, I have never, and I mean legitimately NEVER personally known a Nazi who was not at the least a partial Trump supporter, if not an outright follower of his cult. There is definitely a range, but in effect it produces the same result. I'd say about 35% of everyone I knew was in his cult by summertime of 2019. The rest were vocal supporters of largely an avidly supportive bent.

Any leftover individuals who didn't like whatever random decision he made at whatever time, kinda just shut their mouth and chose to focus on what they did like about him or what he was doing to the country. Trump was doing such a flurry of things for so long and he was spinning such wild stories that people became addicted to the drama high and just didn't want to stop living in that high. They were the real right ones, they had held fast, they had done their righteous work and now the fruits of their labor were finally becoming apparent. And then Trump lost the election and took all of that with him. That's a significant part of the reason for the Insurrection, and the suicides.

Because Trump is an open supporter of Nazism and Hitler, and bad actors who happen to be Nazis (literally watched this live and recorded before 2021 but can't find any evidence now that Google is AI), Nazis in turn provide him at least surface level support because even if that Nazi happens to disagree with Trump's image, overall demeanor, or select-any political decision, they understand that he is their best option to actually get what they want. What they want is a Fourth Reich. They believe the USA is the new motherland and that the Fourth Reich is prophesised to occur here, presumably somewhere in the Heartland, as a grassroots movement that takes back the decimated personal rights of White Americans and people of Aryan descent. (The reason I state it this way is because this is how they romanticize it and this is how it would look to an outsider. It may also help recall memories in those who may suspect or need to remember specifics on Nazi upbringing.)

Now yeah, I've heard of Nazis who don't support Trump. The problem is they are largely ostracized from the rest of the community, at least from what I've seen. They don't show up at the family functions or the important meeting. They don't sit in at the council anymore. Their granddaughters see them less. There's a clear social loss to not supporting Trump in the last ~8 years and because he is taking the White House again, there will continue to be. This should be paid attention to.

I could see how an ostracized individual could do some petty crime like this, but that shouldn't be ignored or downplayed. A deeper rift between differing kinds of Nazis is dangerous for everyone because it creates a lot more singly dangerous acts, risky individuals who are more likely to drop a bomb in a store, or shoot their wife or parents, or drive a vehicle through a crowd, than to organize a militia. We would need to see Nazis with differing opinions come together in one movement to achieve militias and enact whatever judgement they see fit in any organized fashion. This does not mean that chaotic, disconnected violent acts would not be ridiculously dangerous and cause terror in the general populace. I personally know, having grown up Nazi, that mass disorganized violence is what Plan B is for.

Be careful around Nazis. They live for volatility and are incredibly dangerous. Be smart and stay safe. They will always try to get a reaction or an effect with what they say. Just don't let them have it. They have the White House and all of our rights and lives with it. It's not worth risking your safety or the safety of anyone else because we have a longer fight we need to win with stamina and perseverance. If they hit first (and they have and will continue to), they will always be on the wrong side of history, and we are free to retaliate as necessary for the good of society. Good luck out there.

Trump supporter or opponent?

Someone just painted a swastika on Donald Trump's star on Hollywood Boulevard but the cops can’t figure out if it was a supporter or an opponent.

[loverboysturn]

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ cinderella!reader and her besties discuss their opinions on the football team at lunch

note: this is not proofread!!! i wanted to introduce some of readers’s friendship group and give matt more of a mention into this au hehe :)

asks for this au are always open! find all popular!chris and cinderella!reader writings here and everything else for them here

the cafeteria had buzzed with the usual lunchtime chaos but it was finally starting to die down.

you were sat in your usual corner table with your three best friends, halfway through your lunches when suddenly the door to the cafeteria door bangs open, and a group of football players stroll in like they own the place.

they stroll in, tossing a football over the head of innocent students just trying to eat their lunches, laughing and joking loudly with one another, everyone making room for them as they make their way over to their usual table by the windows.

one of your friends breaks the silence at your table, “they think they’re so untouchable, like they’re so above everyone else, don’t they?” she says, rolling her eyes.

“i don’t get it, it’s like they don’t know how to be normal, everything is so over the top and loud with them” your other friend says, giving her opinion.

you shift in your seat, “they come in the diner after every practice a lot, they’re exactly the same as they are in here” you add. “some of them are kinda nice though, sometimes”

your first friend rolls her eyes, obviously not believing your last comment. “i couldn’t stand being popular like that, you know, like the way everyone talks about them and their business”

your other friend’s eyes widen and she bangs her hand on the table with excitement, like she’d forgotten to tell you all something. “oh my god” she whispers, “that reminds me, in maths this morning, everyone’s talking about how at some party over the weekend, matt sturniolo hooked up with one of the cheerleaders from the rival team were playing next week, but apparently, her boyfriend is the captain of the team. we should go to the game just to see the drama of it all unfold.”

you groan, a little disgusted by the team’s antics and her idea of going to a football game, you were kind of used to hearing them brag in the diner about things like this that they did but then your friend who hadn’t added anything yet to the conversation, usually the quieter of your group chimes in, “i think matt’s hot, is that bad?” she whispers to you all like she’s confessing something forbidden.

you and your other friends all look at each other then back to her, “wait, you think matt is hot?” your first friend who initiated the conversation says, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on her face. “i think nate’s the hottest, we sit next to each other in biology and he’s kinda chill i guess, chris is hot too but his ex girlfriend scares me, actually, the whole cheer team scare me.”

“how do you think i feel?” you say with a nervous laugh, “i have to serve them all in the diner, she gives me daggers when i hand chris his pancakes or a milkshake like she thinks i’m going to steal him off of her.”

“little does she know, you’re not interested in her precious football captain cause you have your own secret little lover” your friend teases you, poking you over the table. “which speaking of, are you any closer to knowing who he is?”

you shrug, trying to act nonchalant, but inside you’re torn. “i really don’t know.”

she grins at you, “isn’t it crazy that he could be literally anyone. he could be on the maths team, in the music club..” she whispers, looking over her shoulder to the window where the football team were sat and quickly turning back to you, “fuck, he could even be one of them, and you’ll never know if you don’t go and meet him at this party on friday.”

you laugh nervously, trying to brush the conversation off. your best friends innocent question causing a feeling of anxiety to bubble up in your chest.

you swallow down hard, trying to steady your breathing, but all you could hear was the pounding of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“do you even want to know who he is?” she adds, staring at you, waiting for an answer, one you didn’t have for her.

you didn’t know, you had no idea.

and for the first time, you realise how terrified you are of the truth.

[boyharder]

continually infuriated with SC for her portrayals of black people and district 11 and i'm again going to touch on her portrayal of thresh, very specifically how he talks/his speech & some other tidbits. (as a black person, because i fear that has to be made clear.)

let's take a look at these. if you've read my post on my issues with d11, you'll recognize that they were also in that post and explained upon.

it is so redundant to have a black character whom in which is already a stereotype in and of itself to be further stereotypical. thresh is a "physical wonder," made out as if he's more of a beast than a person despite being an outlier & not trained like a career. he's made to seem intimidating and imposing and all around terrifying for someone like katniss, who differs in statute and mass. that's strike one. in most media, black = intimidating. which is not only harmful but just endlessly racist. now, for the extracts above, his speech.

SC has managed to imply a lack of education or a lack of understanding of speech, just from how thresh speaks alone. (“you kill her?” / “i let you go.”) he lacks the typical “did you” or “i'll let you” in both those phrases, with the words shortened to impose the idea that he isn't very grammatical. i don't have to explain to you why that's problematic. we could go through the slavery talk and how black people were discouraged from any level of education when possible, as their jobs were simply to work on the fields/plantations. SC imposes an impression that the people of 11 are not entirely grammatically educated from thresh's speech alone. yes, there's rue in comparison — who seems to speak fine despite being younger than thresh, which is a very specific thing that sticks out. you have thresh being quiet, reserved and only physically imposing. you add his level of speech to it, and it paints a very shitty picture which shows that she doesn't really know what she's doing and she's basing him off of an idea of a black person and not ... an actual black person.

thresh spares katniss, but at the same time acts out in a very brutal sort of violence prior in which is almost primitive with how it's portrayed — he's one of the only tributes that doesn't use a weapon such as a knife, bow, sword, etc. he picks up something from his environment. to me, SC characterizes him as something closer to a caveman, rather than a terrified teenager running on justice and a need to survive. she draws back to the old racist beliefs of black people (and by extension, black men) as being capable of only abhorrent violence, uneducated and worse, near uncivilized. it's a death game, people are going to be out of their usual selves in order to vie for the spot of victor, which is understandable, but it does not look good for him. it just doesn't look like she understood the drawbacks to writing thresh in such a loaded way (loaded being microagressive and heavily stigmatized.)

peeta (equally physically imposing) literally joins the careers, the brainwashed, bloodthirsty bunch of teens that thrive on murder in order to bring glory to their district, but thresh is the significantly physically imposing one and gets to be painted in such a harsh and violent light despite intention and circumstance. yesss. very telling. thresh does one good deed & shows himself to be a thoughtful and understanding person despite his traits and suddenly we all think that means that SC understands how to write a black person positively. nooooo. unfortunately not.

[momotonescreaming]

A quick thing for @hellion-child , thank you for joining me on my Sal Deluca/ Josh Russo rarepair bullshit 💜

"Is he always like this?" The probie — Hayden — asks, brows furrowed underneath his helmet as his gaze flicks between his fellow firefighters and their Captain — Captain Deluca, smirking as he speaks into the radio strapped to his chest.

"Thanks for the assist there, dollface," their Captain says, flirts, to the dispatcher on the other end of the radio. He's smirking, looking all smug about it, but Hayden can't quite tell if it's mean spirited or not yet.

When his friends from the Academy heard he got assigned to Captain Sal Deluca from the 122 — they winced. He's got a reputation of being a bit of an asshole, apparently, who scares the shit out of all the probies. High turnover rate. When he got to the actual station, however, the other firefighters said he really wasn't that bad. He just pushes them because he knows that they can do better. Some people just can't handle his leadership style — weak people — someone joked. Hayden can't tell if it's a style meant for him yet, but he's being put through his paces at least. And isn't that what being a probie is all about?

This however, in front of him, doesn't match up to the Captain Deluca in his head. The Captain Deluca he's been told about.

"Assist?" The very male voice of their dispatcher crackles though the radio, smile in their voice evident. "You'd be lost without me, and you know it."

It's like they don't even care that everyone can hear them.

"He didn't use to be," one of their paramedics — nicknamed Barbie, on account of her being a tall blonde — says with a casual shrug. "But he is now, and only with Josh."

"Josh?"

"The dispatcher," Barbie nods, looking over at their Captain, flirting through the radio waves. "We know him by name now."

Hayden — admittedly — hasn't been on very many calls yet, but on all the other's he's only heard Cap refer to them as dispatch. Maybe thanking them by name at the end, once they've rescued their person and done their job. But today, it's been 'what've you got for me Josh' and 'how's our caller doing, Josh' and 'give me good news Sunshine'.

"Cap's always been a bit of a charming asshole," the other paramedic — Riley — chimes in, where he's starting to pack their gear back into the ambulance. Thankfully, they didn't end up needing most of it. "Good at getting people to calm down and listen to him, y'know?"

"But the flirting," Barbie parrots back, smarmy smile on her face as she flips her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Hayden kind of gets the nickname a lot more now. "Is an 'only in the past few months' sort of thing. A new development, shall we say."

It's so weird, to hear these two paramedics, these two seasoned professionals — openly gossip about their boss flirting at work. Their fucking boss, who's stern and tough and pushes Hayden because he knows he's got the skill so why isn't he fucking using it. A real man's man, all bulky muscles and a sharp jaw. Talking to the others about basketball and how he's been helping a friend of his restore an old hotrod. Who can command a scene like nothing else, and then, right at the end, when everything is wrapped up and everyone's safe — flirt with the man on the other end of the radio like no one else can hear them.

Hayden's gaze flicks back over to his Captain, the macho asshole, smiling and laughing as Josh the dispatcher threatens to send all the interesting calls to the 118.

"Oh sweetheart, you wouldn't fucking dare," Sal retorts, slowing walking back to the truck and the ambulance Hayden is leaning on. His heart speeds up — traitorously — as his Captain approaches him not doing anything to help them wrap up the scene. But it turns out he needn't have bothered. "As if they don't get all of the wack shit already."

Sal nods at the three of them — Hayden, Barbie, and Riley — and continues on to the truck proper. They can all hear Josh huff a laugh down the line.

"Am I losing my mind?" Hayden says, brows continuing to furrow, an incredulous smile starting to creep onto his face.

"Best get used to it probie," Riley laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. "We've been placing bets on when they'll actually start dating."

[dwtpsychward]

when they joined vcs and played games with him on stream meanwhile they apparently were all icked out by him and thought he was a massive red flag but all he did was have fun playing his favorite games with people

going to cry myself to sleep this is literally me in highschool. being autistic in a world made for neurotypical people :(( thinking someone's your friend but they all actually talk shit about you and deep down you know the "red flags" are your autistic traits cause it feels like everyone was given a handbook on social rules except you. being a Dream stan is witnessing someone be bullied the way you were when you were just trying your best and having no power to protect them.

i think this is why it hits me so hard like i see myself in dream and understand how frustrating and confusing this all is. before i really thought him being an open nd creator it would change the way everyone treats nd people in general (with stimming, talking about his struggles with it AND medications, etc) but instead its been turned to normalizing ableism against someone and using their nd traits for their narrative that hes evil because of a reason everybody understands except for us apparently.

with dreams community consisting of a lot of nd fans its us just watching him get overloaded with ableism in tenfold and not being able to do anything about it because when you say "its because of his autism" YOURE the one they call ableist. when you try to explain why he said something a certain way they say "well he shouldve said it better". when you explain why he types essays to fully explain what he has to say they say "thats too much just get to the point". when he says only a few words they say "why didnt he say more than that". it is incessant nitpicking and asking someone (let alone someone who is nd) to be absolutely perfect to fit their own criteria yet no matter what he does is not good enough for them which causes every situation to end with only frustration on dreams part. they are not willing to fix any problems with someone who they dont care to understand

[emsdevs]

Bear and Bug pt 2

a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON PART ONE I already love this little au so much so I love that y'all are loving it too! Again I'm more than happy to share my thoughts on Bear and Bug anytime! Enjoy pt 2 :)

Bear and Bug Masterlist

After Jack’s draft, the two of you decided to live up all the time you had left together that summer. Once again, you two were attached at the hip. It was rare to see one of you without the other. You spent your days out on the boat, at the golf course, or finding fun adventures to go on. You spent your nights partying, having game nights, or having a quiet movie night together, relaxing after an eventful day.

Meanwhile, Quinn was pushing down a hurt that he didn’t fully understand. He knew you’d be spending a lot of time with Jack this summer (he was your best friend after all), so why did he feel like he was being left behind? Was he just some sort of stand-in for when Jack wasn’t available? No. No way. You would never do that. You cared about the entire Hughes family way too much for that, so why didn’t that lift the heavy weight he was feeling in his stomach? Quinn spent those weeks growing more and more irritated each day, watching you and Jack having the time of your lives while he wondered where he stood with you. 

As the end of the summer neared and you would all have to return to the real world soon, your time with Jack instead became family time. Everyone deserved to spend time with Jack before he boarded a flight to New Jersey until the next summer. However, moments that should have been filled with happy family memories were ruined by Quinn’s sudden sharpness toward no one in particular. He had become incredibly snippy with everyone, mainly you, causing many arguments between the two of you in those last two weeks. 

You couldn’t understand it. The two of you had been so close, and you felt like there might have been something between you. Now all of a sudden, he was throwing insults at you that genuinely hurt your feelings a few times. It got to be too much, and you gave up, ignoring Quinn altogether. It hurt you to do it, but it felt like your only option. Everyone could sense the tension between the two of you. 

The summer ended with heartfelt goodbyes to most of the Hughes family. Gentle hugs for Ellen and Jim, and since Luke was apparently too cool for that now, he got a dap up and his hair ruffled (you couldn’t resist). You and Jack shared a longer hug, filled with encouragement for both of your life paths and promises to keep each other updated until June. Quinn, on the other hand, got an incredibly awkward wave from five feet away, complete with terribly hidden grimaces from the rest of the family. 

You all returned to your normal lives after that. Well, mostly normal. Jack was adjusting to the big leagues, and you’re feeling like you’re going through a breakup, even though you and Quinn were never even together. Still, it seems like such a great loss knowing how long the two of you have known one another. 

It was nearing the end of October the next time you saw Quinn. The Canucks had beaten the Red Wings in Detroit that night, and knowing there wouldn’t be practice the next day, Quinn knew this was his chance to close the distance between you. Late that night, he found himself standing outside of your dorm, remembering his mom saying something about you scoring the same one as last year. Before he could think too much about it, he knocked. Just as he began to debate walking away, the door slowly opened, revealing a very confused, and equally as angry, you. Quickly glancing around to check if anyone would see, you yank him into your dorm, grateful your roommate was at her boyfriend’s place that night. 

“Quinn, what are you doing here?” you sigh out.

“I needed to talk to you, Bug.”

“Oh, we’re still doing the nicknames? You were horrible to me those last few weeks of the summer,” you could feel the anger flaring up.

“Well maybe if you didn’t spend your whole summer kissing up to Jack, the rest of us could have been in better moods,” he shrugged, beginning to raise his voice as well. 

“You were the only one with a problem! And there’s no way you didn’t expect me to spend my summer with Jack when we all knew I’d be losing him to New Jersey in August!”

“Of course I knew you’d spend time with him! Excuse me for thinking you’d save some time for the rest of us too!” Quinn’s resolve was slipping, and he knew the truth would come out sooner rather than later.

“So you said all those mean things to me because you were jealous? Are you serious, Quinn? Do you know how much some of that hurt me?” Quinn could see the tears lining your eyes now.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to deal with these feelings,” his voice softened.

“What feelings? What do you mean?” your tone now matched his, and you were trying not to get your hopes up, still blinking back tears.

“You know,” he didn’t want to have to say it out loud.

“I don’t. I need you to tell me, Bear.”

“Look I know I never should have let it get this far, especially since you’re Jack’s best friend and I would never want to come between that, but I can’t help how I feel. You’re so engrained into everything I do now, Bug. Every part of my life, I see you in it. I don’t think you could ever understand what I feel for you, mainly because I’m not sure I do either, but what I do know is that, yes I was jealous of Jack. I was used to talking to you almost daily, to knowing every detail of your life, but summer hit, and suddenly I was in the background,” he took a breath.

“Bear you weren’t -” Quinn cut you off.

“Let me finish,” he waited for your nod. “I got in my own head, let myself think I was just some kind of understudy for when Jack wasn’t available. I know that’s not true, and I even knew that then. But this gnawing feeling wouldn’t go away, telling me that Jack would always be the better or more interesting sibling, whether I was the oldest or not. That’s why I got so snippy with everyone, not that that’s an excuse because no one deserved that, you the least. I just… I just think I might be falling in love with you, Bug, and I’m not sure I know how to handle that,” finally he finished, slowly looking your way, trying to gauge your reaction.

“You know I was waiting all summer for you to say that to me?” you started. “I was hoping you’d pull me aside, tell me that you felt the same way about me that I feel about you. I guess that’s kinda on me though because I did spend a ton of time with Jack, so I understand that you might have felt like I didn’t actually need you or that you wouldn’t have a chance to tell me. Either way, though, I can’t completely look past the way you treated me at the end of the summer. I seriously hope you know none of those things you thought were true. You will always, always be important and interesting, if not to anyone else then to me. I think… I’m falling for you too, Bear, but you’ve got a lot to make up for.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to. I just need you back,” he let out a shuddered sigh.

“We’ll work on it together. Okay, Bear?”

“Okay, Bug.”

[sinnabarmoth]

Getting Older

Pairing: Xavier x Fem|Reader

Prompt: You have an existential crisis when Xavier tells you that he is a centuries year old alien.

Length: 1200

Xavier was hiding something.

After months of officially dating him you could tell when he was trying to hide something from you. Problem is you couldn’t think about what he could possibly have to hide. You knew Xavier. There was a lot of him that was a mystery to you but ever since you got together he had been very open and honest about who he is.

So what was it that he was still keeping to himself?

You were lounging at home, you had just gotten a new video game and Xavier was over to play co-op mode with you. It was a pretty typical day until you noticed that Xavier kept glancing at you. Usually when you played video games he was zeroed in on the screen. You had tested him once just to see how focused he was while playing a video game and started stripping right next to him on the couch. The man did not so much as blink until you were completely naked and then he paused and pinned you to the couch. Apparently he had been aware of what you were doing the entire time and was just biding his time until you were bare.

But now he kept looking over and was barely paying attention to the puzzle you were trying to figure out in the game. Finally you had enough and paused. “What is it?” you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve been stealing looks at me the entire time you’ve been here. Something is on your mind so just tell me what it is because if we get a game over on this level again I’m going to slap you.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “Now tell me.”

Xavier sighed. “I…there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you but I could never find the right time. Then again, I’ve had enough time to learn that there is no perfect time for anything. There are better moments but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.”

“Xav,” you took his hand. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

“I know. I just don’t want you to freak out when I say this.” Well that was ominous.

Xavier took a deep breath and looked at you. “Do you remember when I said I had killed over 70,000 Wanderers?”

“Yeah. Still have no idea how that is possible for someone so young.” you shrugged. “Is that it? You’re gonna tell me you were exaggerating to look cool?”

“No. I wasn’t exaggerating and I’m not exactly what you would call young.” he cringed away from your inspectful gaze. “I…um…”

“Xavier?” you squeezed his hand. “It’s alright.”

He dropped his head, looking up at you through the fringe of his hair. “I’m not in my twenties like I told you, nor am I exactly human.”

You wanted to ask what he was going on about but remained silent, waiting for his explanation. “The truth is, I come from the planet Philos. The people there age very slowly and about two hundred years ago I came here with some friends. That’s why my record of Wanderer kills is so high. I’ve been around a long time and I’m going to be around for an even longer time.”

“You…” there were so many questions swirling in your head. He was from Philos? Was he really that old? How had no one realized that he had been around for two hundred years if he looks exactly the same? Who were these friends? Were they still around? Who else knew about this?

But what ended up coming out was, “Does that mean you’re still gonna look like this when I’m eighty?”

Xavier blinked at you. “I mean, I suppose. I may look a little older by then but not by much.” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Is that all you have to ask? I just told you I’m a centuries old alien.”

“I know. I just--” your brain was short circuiting. “Do you know what it is going to look like if I’m fifty and I’m walking around calling a guy that looks like he’s twenty my husband? They’re gonna think I’m a cougar or a sugar mommy or something! People are gonna think it’s weird!”

“Did you say husband?”

“Wrong thing to focus on!” you sighed, trying to rein your emotions back in. “Sorry. I know you didn’t want me to freak out but my brain is just flooding with thoughts and I can’t sort through all of them at once.”

“It’s alright. I figured this would happen when I told you.” he turned you to face him again. “But I needed to tell you. You deserved to know the truth.”

“And I’m grateful that you did. I don’t care that you’re super old--”

“I wouldn’t say super old--” he muttered.

“--or that you’re technically an alien. I still feel the same as I always did. I still love you.” you cupped his face. His two hundred year old youthful face. “But now I’m thinking about how long this is going to last.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said people on Philos age slowly, right?” Xavier nodded. “So if you age slowly and you look like this at two hundred years old, that means you’re going to be alive for a really long time. But me, I’m just a human. Our average lifespan is eighty years. By the time I’m old and dying you’re still going to be like this. You are still going to be around and me…”

You took in a shaky breath. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Pain flashed in Xavier’s eyes, as if this hadn’t occurred to him either. He pressed his forehead to yours. “I…I don’t know what to say to make you feel better. I don’t even know if anything could. I have no answers about what may be waiting for us in the future but I do know this. I do not care how long we have together, I will cherish every single second of it. And if you leave this life while I am still here, know that I will find you in the your next one. I will always find you.”

“I’m going to get so old!” you cried. “I’m gonna be all wrinkly and slow!”

“And you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” he kissed your forehead. “But if there is a way to match our lifespans, I will find it. Because I would want nothing more than to grow old with you. Be it we are given sixty more years or six hundred. I will always love you.”

You hugged him tight. Whatever fears you had about your future you didn’t want to think about them now. Right now you were young and happy and your lives were full. That was all that mattered. And come hell or high water you would find a way to rewrite fate. You would not leave him, not for anything.

He gave you a tissue to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. Once you had calmed down he left a chaste but loving kiss on your lips. He pulled back with a small smile. “So…what did you mean exactly when you said husband?”

Your face flushed with heat all the way up to the tip of your ears. “Oh uh…about that…”

[txttletale]

So I've seen you recommend bavitz, where do I actually start with their stuff? I've clicked on a couple summaries and It appears to be fanfiction and I'm wondering how much context of the original work I need.

i personally think bavitz' original stuff is their best: if i was going to recommend a "starting point", i'd say cleveland quixotic is the most accessible--it plays a lot with the isekai genre, but i'm not at all familiar with the genre and i felt like i wasn't missing too much. it is, if more literary and well-written than most, in many ways a fairly traditional fantasy novel.

modern cannibals, despite being listed as such, is not really homestuck fanfiction -- it is a coming of age roadtrip story about some kids driving to a con because one of them is a homestuck fan. having read homestuck will lend some depth to it, illuminate some allusions and make apparent some of the narrative tricks it plays, but i think it's perfectly comprehendible and enjoyable without any knowledge of homestuck at all, as a meditation on art and artists.

cockatiel x chameleon digs fairly deep into online subcultures and drama as well as art history but should be totally comprehendible on its own terms if you're not familiar with any of that. probably a terrible starting point though because of the large amounts of narratively loadbearing extremely explicit pornography.

as for the actual fanfiction, i think when i win the world ends should parse perfectly well for someone with a typical level of cultural osmosis awareness of the pokemon franchise. my sum total experience with pokemon is a few hazy childhood memories of the latam anime dub, playing black, liking it, playing y, disliking it, then only hearing about it second hand. so baseline familiarity with the concepts is necessary, but not much more than you'll probably have gotten just by existing online under a certain age.

fargo and chicago, though, absolutely need you to have watched madoka and rebellion, or the final stakes of either will be totally incomprehensible.

[cuubism]

thinking about baby wish and how once she gets sick both hob and dream will 100% get TERRIFIED and very antsy due to their past with their own child :')

funny enough i already had a drabble kind of like this so i've gone and finished it up for you :)

-

Anyone who wants to rob Johanna should probably do a more subtle job of it than leaving the damn door to her flat cracked open for her to find. They’d tripped her wards, too—amateurs—making her scramble home in the middle of a job to catch them in the act.

She pushes the door open carefully, knife held in one hand. The light’s on in her kitchen, which gives her pause. Surely any burglar—especially one stealing magical artifacts—would get what they need and get out?

She really should have been less surprised to burst into the kitchen and find Hob leaning against the counter.

“Finally,” he says.

Johanna irritably puts the knife away. “Why are you in my house?”

“You weren’t answering my calls.”

“I was working. I can’t just drop everything to watch your strange baby.” She’s gotten roped into that a few times. Not a lot of reputable childcare around for supernatural infants, apparently. Not that Johanna counts as ‘reputable childcare’.

At least Dream pays well for it. And Jo’s grown fond of the little critter, to her chagrin.

Hob sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face, and finally Johanna takes a proper look at him.

He looks exhausted. Hair a mess, like he’s been running his hands through it, stubble coming in unevenly on his cheeks, clothes all wrinkled. When he drops his hands from his face again, he gives her a pleading look.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

“Wish is sick,” Hob says. “I don’t— I don’t know what it is. She doesn’t normally get flus and things like that. She’s just… fading. She won’t wake up.”

Well, shit. “What does Dream have to say about it?”

“He’s been pushing power to her from the Dreaming to keep her stable while we try to figure it out,” Hob says, starting to pace across the kitchen, tugging on his hair, “but now he’s gone under too and I—”

“Hang on,” Jo exclaims, “you’ve been letting Dream drain the Dreaming?”

“You think I get to let Dream do anything?” Hob says, exasperated. “He does want he wants. In any case, we needed to buy time, but I think we’re out of it again. Will you help me or not? Because if not I need to find someone else who will.”

“I’ll help you,” Jo says, groaning internally. “If I can.”

If Dream is actually ill too then she has, unfortunately, at least some degree of responsibility to not let this become a repeat of the sleeping sickness. Besides which… she’s fond of Wish.

Hob looks so relieved that she feels bad for her reluctance. He’s practically vibrating as he helps her gather her things and then leads her, at speed, back across town to his home.

--

Once upstairs, they step quietly into the bedroom. Wish is asleep in her crib, cat plushie clutched in one hand. She’s gotten bigger since Jo last saw her, almost a proper toddler now. And she looks… alright? At least from afar. She’s sleeping very deeply though.

Dream, meanwhile, is slumped in bed like a dead man, one arm trailing down limply to the floor. His skin is even more pale than usual, forehead beaded with sweat. She shakes his shoulder and he doesn’t move. When Jo focuses, honing in with the Sight, she can make out a thin trail of power going from Dream’s hand to Wish’s.

Jo focuses on Wish. Takes her hand. She’s been working on her Sight, and she can sense now that whatever power Dream is funneling into Wish is just going straight through her and out into whatever is draining her. It may be keeping her stable but it’s primarily just getting burned up into nothingness.

Alright so they’ve got to stop that before Dream fucking kills himself because this is a bottomless pit. If they don’t interrupt it he’ll evaporate the Dreaming from the inside out.

“What he’s doing isn’t working,” she tells Hob. “Something’s draining any power he sends her.”

“Can you tell what?”

She can’t sense anything obvious. No malevolent presence. No connection to Wish’s power, other than Dream’s.

“I don’t know,” she says. “But Dream isn’t helping. I’m going to try to break the connection.”

Hob looks concerned, glancing between Wish and Dream, but doesn’t stop her.

Johanna gets out her chalk, and starts drawing an elaborate warding circle around Wish’s crib. It’s a bit of a tossup, honestly, on whether she’ll be able to combat Dream’s magic. He is, after all, Endless. But if she focuses on containing Wish, rather than fighting against Dream, she might just be able to do it.

Hob sits on the bed beside Dream, looking on anxiously, but giving her space. Johanna seals the final stroke of the warding circle, and—

—nothing obvious happens. But the connection between Dream and Wish, visible only with the Sight, slows to a trickle. She wasn’t able to break it completely, Dream’s power is too strong for that, but at least it’s not the flood that it was before.

“They didn’t wake up,” Hob says, clutching at Dream’s hand. “Shouldn’t Dream have woken up at least?”

“He’s probably weakened himself,” Jo says. “He won’t drain himself into nothing now, though.”

Hob looks down at Dream limp beside him. “Now that he’s connected with her power Dream might have been able to tell us how to fix it,” he says, hands twisting together anxiously. “Fuck I wish he would wake up.”

Dream jolts awake in bed, gasping for breath, eyes wild. Hob jumps in alarm, but quickly clutches at him, holding him steady. “Dream.”

Jo looks between Dream and Wish. “Shit.”

“What?” says Hob, jumping up as if to rush over to Wish, but hesitating between her and Dream.

“Her power…” Dream says, his voice still its low rumble, despite his evident exhaustion. “I felt it spike, before I woke.”

“She wished you awake,” Johanna says. “Or, technically Hob did. And Wish’s power made it happen. That’s got to be what’s draining her— all over the world people are wishing things all the time, and she’s granting them.”

“Isn’t that kind of her function?” Hob says.

“No,” says Dream. “Just as I shepherd dreams but do not make all of them manifest in the Waking world, Wish’s power carries wishes, but does not grant them. A few, she can make real—but to grant all wishes would destabilize reality.”

“She’s just a baby, how’s she supposed to know that?”

“Exactly,” says Jo. “It needs to be limited until she can learn how to limit it herself. If you’d like, I can—”

Dream’s eyes flash threateningly. “You dare to hinder my daughter’s power?”

“She clearly can’t control it!” Jo exclaims. “If you don’t put a limit on it, she’ll burn through it again.”

Dream looks murderous, but Hob lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I think Johanna’s right. It’s not like we’d let her run around the city without us either, is it? Kids have to have limits.”

That softens Dream’s expression into something that’s almost a smirk. “Like your leash.”

“Are you seriously one of those people that has a child leash?” Jo says to Hob, incredulous.

“My baby can fly!” he says indignantly. “Not all of us can just grow wings to chase after her.” He pokes Dream.

For a moment Johanna gets distracted by the image of Hob flying Wish like a balloon, but comes back to her senses. “Look,” she says to Dream, “I can put a ward around her if you want—”

“I will do it.” He stands, only slightly unsteady on his feet, and walks over to Wish’s crib. Hob follows him, keeping a hand braced low on his back to support him. Dream picks Wish up, cradling her in his arms. Smoothes a hand over her forehead and hair.

She really doesn’t look much worse for wear, other than still being asleep. Dream’s the one who looks like he got run over by a train. Nevertheless he sprinkles dream sand over her, letting it whirl around her in a big spiral.

“I do not have unilateral control over her function,” he says, “but I will tie her powers to mine again, so—”

“Didn’t we just learn that was a bad idea?” Jo says.

Dream casts her an irritated glance for the interruption. “So,” he continues, “I can use the Dreaming to corral her power and keep it contained around her. As I did before she was born. I will mind her, and be sure the use of her power is moderate.”

The dream sand fades away, and Dream runs his hand over Wish’s hair again. “Wake up, my love,” he says to her, much softer than the tone he’d used with Johanna. “You are alright now.”

She shifts in his arms, nose scrunching up, letting out a quiet whine as she finally opens her eyes. “Mama.”

Johanna still hasn’t figured out why Dream is “mama.” She has her suspicions but she definitely doesn’t want to think about Dream giving birth. Nope, not at all, definitely not.

Dream smiles down at Wish. “How are you feeling?”

Wish reaches up to touch his face, grabbing at his cheek. “Lotsa wishes, Mama.”

“Yes, very many wishes indeed,” says Dream. “Now, you must go to Dada, because your Mother is about to collapse.”

Hob swoops in to grab Wish just as Dream’s legs go out from under him. Johanna is left to catch Dream, and grabs him by the arm, hauling him back over to the bed. Dream collapses back onto the pillows, panting. God, he looks absolutely exhausted.

Hob props Wish on his hip and comes over to him, touching the back of his hand to Dream’s forehead even though Jo is pretty sure you can’t gauge an Endless’s wellbeing that way.

“It is fine, Hob,” Dream says, though it doesn’t look particularly fine. Nevertheless, they’ve solved the problem, so it probably will be fine, sooner or later, or so she hopes.

Wish reaches for Dream. “Stories, Mama?”

“Perhaps tomorrow night, my love,” Dream says, eyes already falling shut.

“Mama needs to take a nap,” says Hob, draping a blanket over Dream with his free hand. “We’ll go read the next chapter of our book, hm?”

“Book!” Wish agrees.

Hob leans down to kiss Dream’s forehead. Wish reaches out with grabby hands, so Hob holds her out to kiss Dream’s forehead, too. “Kiss!” she says.

It’s kind of sickeningly adorable. 

Johanna follows Hob out into the living room, feeling a bit whiplashed by all of it. Hob sets Wish down on the couch, then scrubs his hands over his face, taking a shuddering breath. For a moment, it seems like he might crumple, but he steels himself.

Johanna isn’t really good at this kind of thing, but she rests a hand on his arm. “She’s alright, Hob,” she says, attempting a comforting tone.

“Oh, I know, she’s probably forgotten it already.” He gives her a wan smile. “Not sure Wish was the one much bothered by all this in the first place.” 

Jo feels a pang of sympathy. If anything, Hob got the worst of it, witnessing it all without being able to do much of anything to help.

“Let me know if you need anything, yeah?” she says.

He nods. Meanwhile Wish reaches out her hands to Johanna, crawling towards the edge of the couch. “Auntie Jo!”

Johanna sets her back before she can fall, then shakes her hand solemnly. “Pleasure doing business with you, as always. Let’s hope you haven’t wished anyone the nuclear codes.”

“Nu-clee-ur,” Wish echoes, with surprisingly good pronunciation.

Hob pales. “Let’s not introduce the concept of bombs to my child who likes to play with the electrical sockets, please.”

Johanna just laughs. “Your problem for later, mate.”

She turns to leave, then hesitates. Goddammit, she is becoming so fucking soft.

She gives Hob a hug.

He freezes in surprise. Then wraps his arms around her in turn. “Thanks,” he whispers.

Johanna pats his back, then pulls away before it gets any more awkward. She waves to Wish on the couch. “Be good, Sparkle!”

Wish waves goodbye, and with that Johanna heads out to leave them to it—though she’s sure, with the rate things are going, it won’t be for long.