#i just get sick for approximately 3 days then take 2 days to recover from the 3 days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cunninginstinct · 4 years ago

Text

NWN2 - A Draconian Encounter

(A completed thread put together, written by @shinycollectingteifling as Aku and myself, @cunninginstinct as Sand.)

Fiction is T-rated Genre: Comedy, Fluff Word Count: 3836

Warnings for: Implied Romance, Nausea-Related Sickness, Combat

Neverwinter Nights 2, Act 3: Akumamika (the Barbarian Tiefling Knight-Captain) and Sand begin their descent down Mount Galardrym post-Tholapsyx. Alive - and somehow each still in one piece! Along the way, however, they run into some less-than-friendly obstacles... Is nothing ever easy?!

shinycollectingteifling

The roars could be heard for miles around the mountain, for several minutes it was the loudest sound anywhere near the mountain. Until an almighty crack of thunder silenced them, the sickening crunch of scale and bone went unheard, as did the heavy breathing.

A little scratched up and singed but otherwise looking alright, the blue teifling panted hard until her rage subsided, leaving her a bit shaky for a few moments. It took some effort to uncurl her fingers from her hammer, leaving it in what was once the face of a young but arrogant red dragon.

While the group were picking each other up and heading back to the path down with what they could carry from the disappointing pile of treasures she turned and spotted her favourite wizard nearby. She waved to the others to keep going, that she’d catch up in a few minutes. Not too worried since most of the dangers up here had been quite thoroughly dealt with.

Moving quietly so as to not alarm him any more than he seemed to be already she crouched before him and tried to offer a reassuring smile, somewhat diminished by the smears of crimson across her face and chest. Her one working eye flicking over the elf to make sure he’d been unharmed, and her shoulders dropped with releif.

“Hey...”

cunninginstinct

Sand could never remember so desperately flinging spells in his life. The incantations left his lips with little pause between one and the next, he must have gone through at least twenty potions, and on more than one occasion he found himself hiding behind Khelgar - Khelgar! Of all people!

And at the forefront of the battle was Aku, incandescent with rage, her muscles visibly straining under taut scarred blue flesh. She leaped and struck with all the proficiency of a warrior of her caliber. The fact that she faced a dragon seemed to daunt her very little at all. Sand did not have enough time between screaming wards and protections to envy this about her.

Together, a force combined into one synergistic effort, they vanquished dread Tholapsyx at last. Sand had been hanging on with great effort to the remains of rational strategy up until the telltale crack of bone. He stood there for many moments, panting heavily, and his shoulders eventually relaxed. With relief he shakily sank down onto the top of a rugged chunk of volcanic stone, gathering his bearings.

Distantly Sand heard the voice of the knight captain trying to reach him. His eyes were still wide with terror, somewhat glazed as he reached up to rub his forehead. Every part of him was still intact. Singed, but intact. He never thought he would be so happy to find everything just the way he’d left it.

Shakily, he ducked his head and held up a hand to brandish a gloved finger. “Aku, darling,” he gulped. “Give me three seconds - my life is almost finished flashing before my eyes.” And it was just as underwhelming as he remembered it… well. Aside from his recollections of misadventures in the hosttower and running along after Aku.

shinycollectingteifling

While it would be the easiest thing in the world to assume Aku possessed all the intellect of a drunken chimp with the power of speech, she did in fact pick up on things very quickly. Some things at least. It was more her priorities for giving things thought were a little different, and she certainly wasn’t (as someone once said to her face before his got broken) a heartless killing machine.

She nodded and waited on her haunches for Sand to recover, poised ready to help if she was needed. Though she was smiling, her eyes held a great deal of worry for him.

Thinking maybe her state might be a bit unsettling she emptied a bit of her waterskin into he rhand to get most of the blood off of her face, but realised it would take a bit more effort than they had time for up here. At least her face was clean now.

Glancing up again at Sand she thought for a moment then offered the skin to him, remembering their earlier battles the gentle reminders to drink water after all the excitement, which made it easier to recover. Hoping it would have the same affect now.

cunninginstinct

Sand eased his eyes towards Aku again. She was squatting before him, and in her calloused hand she held a waterskin. His mouth suddenly felt very dry - another reminder that he was still living and breathing. “Oh… why, thank you, dear girl.” With a wan smile, he reached out to accept the offering of a drink and their fingertips lightly brushed against each other.

His hand shook as he rose it to his lips and drank steadily, though he took care to leave plenty for Aku to slake her own thirst. For many moments after he finished taking a drink, he blinked at the scorched earth where spatters of blood painted the scenery. Now that he’d found the time to ground himself, he became acutely aware of his heart hammering in his chest.

“We’re alive,” Sand acknowledged at last. He wheezed in something that might have been a chuckle, were he not so exhausted. “Aku, how in the realms did you muster this kind of fortitude…?”

shinycollectingteifling

The teifling let out a breath she’d been holding, and relaxed a bit, though looked around to make sure nothing else would be making an attempt to munch on them unawares. Looking back only to take the waterskin back, corking it and tying the loop back to her belt.

“Yes we’re alive. I promised I wouldn’t let anything hurt you.” She grinned,but it faded with the follow up question. She shifted a little uncomfortable while thinking how to answer that.

“Uh I think you probably wont like the answer. Short answer would be I got into fights a lot, like probably way more than I should’ve. Even as a kid. Not my fault. Guess I wasn’t too popular.” She tried a weak smile for him and bounced a little,eager to get going.

“You gonna be alright?” She leaned forward a bit and in a motion as tender as she could make it, placed her hand over Sand’s forehead, growing worried again.

cunninginstinct

“Hm? Oh - yes,” said Sand, reaching up to close his fingers over the tiefling’s rugged hand. “Quite fine. Nothing like a little fresh volcanic air to really set one righ–” Seconds after this incomplete utterance he turned approximately the color of the Waterdhavian algae that he sold in his shop. Unceremoniously he lurched to the side and heaved, puking up the lunch he’d picked at earlier that day. “…To set one r–”

Again, he retched. And again. Only twice more did he attempt to repeat his unfinished sentence before he gave up. At last Sand spat up the last of the foulness and he groaned. Suddenly he felt very faint and beset upon by the violent onset of vertigo. The sight before him dimmed as he swayed in his seated position. Before eventually tipping over, he faintly recalled murmuring: “Aku, would you be a dear and catch me before I flounder in my own vomit? Thank you…”

shinycollectingteifling

Seeing what was coming, Aku moved aside and very carefully pulled Sand’s hair aside, and held onto his arm. Politely looking away till he seemed to regain himself. She began to ask him a question but she could see the lights going out and quickly looped her arms around him.

It took a bit of careful maneuvering, but eventually she got him up on one arm, using her tail to keep him upright and pulled his arm over one shoulder. Satisfied he was secure she began to long trek back down the mountainside, taking things a considerably more careful path so she wouldn’t jostle Sand around too much. While dragging her hammer behind her as well.

The heat began to diminish after a while and the air was not as thick and noxious. The heavy clouds above them began opening up and a (Thankfully) cool drizzle started to soak them through. As much as Aku hated water and the rain she kept going, able to see the camp a ways further down.

cunninginstinct

Were Sand in a more controlled state, he would have recoiled to see himself giving in to such graceless displays. However, his hero was there to rescue him before he could splash about in the remains of his lunch and dignity on the scorched stone below. Suddenly he felt himself moving through the air, held above the ground by a firm, muscular arm. As reality slipped away from him, he sighed and pressed his cheek to Aku’s forehead and finally went still.

He did not shift around a lot at all and his eyes remained closed throughout most of the trip down Mount Galardrym. Even as the rain started he was still retreated into reverie for the most part. Every now and then his fingers would shift along Aku’s skin where they made contact.

If Sand were ‘awake’ he would have spared them both with a spell to protect them from the elements… except they were all used up in the scrap against Tholapsyx. Burning, scorching fire? Or a little bit of drizzle? Still, once he would finally stir from his state of semi-consciousness, they would have the luxury of being able to avoid the misty raining.

shinycollectingteifling

The slow walk down, while wet and slippery, not to mention dangerously narrow pathways, was made bearable. At least in Akuma’s mind. Finding she quite liked being this close to her favourite wizard.

A slight prickling feeling ran up her spine as she edged her way very carefully over a narrow rock pass over a very painful looking drop below. She turned just enough at the way she’d come from and felt ice drop into her stomach.

Clearly on their way up they hadn’t quite finished off one of the giants who had been hindering their progress all damn day. This one, while not the largest by any means looked angry. His flaming beard flickering as the weather turned from drizzle to a downpour, muscles bulging as he began charging at them and this narrow little bridge.

Had she been on her own Aku would have charged right back, but… She looked at Sand in her arm and at her hammer in the other and whimpered for a moment. She shouldered her weapon and pulled Sand closer to her chest as she began to run across the bridge, flinching as she heard a loud crack behind her.

Her hooves clicked rapidly across the stone and her tail thrashed side to side to help her keep her balance, she began muttering under her breath. “Don’t panic, I’ve got you I’ve got you, I promised. I promised.” Trying desperately to look only at the end of the bridge and not at Sand or what was coming behind them.

cunninginstinct

Sand’s eyes snapped open and he tilted his head upwards, furrowing his brow against the intensifying rain. He recalled fighting the dread Tholapsyx - and surviving, successfully subverting expectation - and his exhaustion suddenly and rather nauseatingly catching up with him on the mountaintop. Everything past that was beyond his mental reach. Except… Aku caught him, held him, carried him. He recalled comfort and bliss in her arms. And she was still lofting him around, but at a scurry rather than a leisurely trot.

Sudden lightning highlighted the giant behind them and his eyes widened.

“Oh for the love of the Seldarine,” he croaked.

At least the wizard’s impromptu rest did him some good to replenish his spells. As Aku hurdled down the stone path, the elf she carried with her hurriedly chanted a haste spell on her. Hopefully that should put some distance between her and the fire giant, but it would not be enough… Without missing a beat, he began to rattle out the incantation to Polar Ray, aiming true at their cranky pursuer.

shinycollectingteifling

As the magic took a hold of her, Aku took the hint and began a full on dash across the bridge, legs blurring as she crashed through the driving rain. The edge was in sight, and she felt the creeping cold from behind her and heard an almighty roar and something heavy hitting the bridge. Which then shook.

The giant had run right into the spell and started to slip, unable to hold his balance fell backwards and hit the bridge with such a force that it was beginning to crack under his weight. He shook his head and sat up to hurl his axe at the retreating duo, just as the rock gave way and his yells quickly grew quiet then silent.

The teifling glanced back and let out another whimper before looking at her companion. “I am so so sorry about this.” She twisted and spun around, launching the wizard towards the safe end of the bridge in an upwards arc, biting on her lower lip with worry while she made a much less graceful but much faster sprint across. Sliding the last few feet on her side.

She sprung up at the last moment, arms up and got bowled over backwards in her attempt to catch Sand on his return to the ground. Going horn over tail down the muddy slope.

When they came to a stop she slowly uncurled herself from around the elf, breathing hard, and looking up to make sure they weren’t still being hunted then looked down at him, ears turned downward, and a very apologetic look on her face.

cunninginstinct

If moon elves were meant to fly they’d be avariel. That’s what Sand always thought, anyways. Yet here he was, airborne, without so much as a hint of a plan of what in the realms Akuma thought she was doing. So, he did what he’d naturally do - he screamed.

Now whatever mystique he built up over the years was gone, but dire life-threatening situations had a certain way about them that put a person’s true priorities into order. And this? This was the least of his concerns at the moment.

The wind tore at his lungs as he sailed gracelessly in an arc through the air, wailing all the while. At last gravity caught up to him and he began his journey (perhaps not so much that as it was a harsh plummet) earthwards. The ground was coming close. By Mystra, there had to be something there between his sharp ears that would save him from a squashed state! However, even with all the racing his mind was doing in that moment, all he could begin to think of was whatever eulogy he’d get once whatever smears was left of him could be collected and buried. Here lies Sand, hedge-wizard, unconventional lawyer, elven pancake.

Serendipity by the name of Aku saved him from his perilous descent through the air. His yelp was cut short quite abruptly. A mass of blue muscle tumbled into him, Sand’s ragdoll body held tight against the knight captain in a protective grasp. For a while yet they traveled, but at last when their surroundings ceased its spinning Sand found he was still, miraculously, alive.

His breathing was ragged. The twitch in his left eye was sustained for several moments until his gaze found Aku. The elf’s chest continued to heave with greedy gulps of air.

“Thank you. And also never,” Sand groaned hoarsely, “ever, throw me again.” His palm found his forehead shakily, pressing against the surface in a fed up manner. “But… more importantly, thank you.”

shinycollectingteifling

Akuma let out a sigh of relief at hearing him speak and sounding (all things considered) fine. She nodded, agreeing to his terms. “You’re welcome. I uh, wasn’t exactly thinking…just sort of uhm…” She shut up quickly, not wanting to be any more of an idiot than she was making herself already. Besides, ‘Wanted to get you across safe’ didn’t want to leave her thoughts via words anyway.

Once the adrenaline wore off, she checked Sand for any obvious injuries, though there wouldn’t be much she could do about that at the moment. Satisfied nothing life threatening was going on she began to shift to stand up but hissed softly. Seems sliding over bare rock was not an ideal method of travel. She grit her teeth for a moment and tried again, managing to get upright and offered her hand for her companion. Wishing she could do something about the rain.

“I don’t think the camp is that far away now, we got quite a bit of distance covered.” She picked up her hammer, looking around the pass, it didn’t look quite the same in the dark, since her vision only made things black and white in the low light. Yet while she was figuring out where they were her gaze kept being drawn back to the hedge wizard.

Another flash of lightning impressed the urgency of the situation. So she took point and picked out the safer places to step down along the path, not quite going as quick as she would’ve liked.

She checked back over her shoulder fairly frequently, making sure Sand was still there. Feeling the need to lighten the mood somewhat she smiled. “You know, If anyone asks I’ll say that was me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be that loud before.”

cunninginstinct

“Well! At least some part of my dignity is maintained.” Sand rolled his eyes heavanward in fond exasperation. A delicate elven hand found the side of her face, fingertips lightly tracing her cheekbone. “Aku, dear girl,” he sighed with a sly little half-smile, “what ever am I going to do with you?” Rivulets of water trailed down the surface of her face like tears at his touch.

There was a pause and his ears twitched, soon afterwards his keen eyes zoned in on the commotion of camp quite a ways below them. His smile was slow to broaden, but it found inspiration with the offer of her hand. The wizard’s fingers closed around her palm, but not before he took advantage of the lack of surveillance upon the two of them to kiss where he caressed her cheek earlier. “Consider this the first part of my payment for saving our lives.”

He ran his fingers through his coal black hair and frowned in distaste at the sodden texture. “Mm,” he hummed thoughtfully. “And consider this the next part.” While still grasping her hand, he wove a spell to protect them from the elements for the duration of the rest of their descent. And if Tymora smiled upon them, hopefully it would be a slower and less treacherous one. “You saved me from a dragon, so naturally I must rescue you from the clutches of a dreadful cold. Ah, don’t thank me all at once.”

shinycollectingteifling

Seeing the hand close to her face she couldn’t help flinch slightly but relaxed almost immediately.

It was the strangest most surreal thing in the world to her that with the barest hint of a touch Sand could make her simply melt against his palm, eyes closing for a few moments.

She couldn’t have answered his question even if she wanted to, her brain and stomach were becoming quite fuzzy, enough to distract her until the brief kiss against her cheek.

Then the fuzz became a blaze of heat and she felt like she’d been stunned for a good while, and simply followed where he was leading her, hoping the walk down to the camp wouldn’t be too short after all, and for once thankful the dark was hiding the new colour on her face.

“Uhm yeah rescue the cold from a dragon…” She grinned, clearly hadn’t paid quite full attention and walked a little closer, looking far too happy in the dark and pouring rain when usually she’d be the first to complain about the weather. “Best wizard ever.”

cunninginstinct

Sand chuckled. “I’ll take that as a ‘thank you’.” He was not so disoriented that he would miss the flush spreading across her face, but he accepted his success with a smug, knowing smile.

They strode down the path steadily, hand in hand, protected from the rain by a magical bubble. Still he took care with his steps... it would not do well to ruin the moment by taking another impromptu tumble down the slippery hill. There would always be a better time and place for the two of them to be sprawling, and the rocks here were not looking particularly comfortable for it. With a twinge of amusement he tucked that thought away for a different time.

The gods graced the rest of their journey without any more dragons or giants, or even sudden natural disasters, that would have no doubt put a damper on their walk. Despite the dark and the rain he would dare say he even enjoyed these moments, more since they were not burdened with the risk of being watched by prying eyes. They were for each other in this simple stroll. Any lingering fire giants would just have to form a queue and wait until Aku and Sand’s precious rare time alone was over.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, and far too soon it seemed. The camp was within reasonable distance and the risk of being seen together like they were was too much of a risk for comfort. Quietly Sand kissed her hand before releasing it, gazing about warily as they continued on. The last thing they needed was a tattletale, and it was blessing enough to not be caught by any further enemies on their journey down.

#nwn2 #neverwinter nights 2 #sand #kc #shinycollectingteifling #akumamika #compiled thread #cunninginstinct

14 notes · View notes

let-it-raines · 5 years ago

Text

What a Wicked Game {12/15}

Killian met her in a pub on a rainy night in March. Going inside was only supposed to be a way for him to avoid the rain and fight off the demons in his head. It was a place for him to pass through, not stay. But then he was charmed by a blonde woman with a quick wit who had absolutely no interest in him or who he was.

That was a first. It was also the beginning of Emma Nolan helping to bring him back to life. It was the beginning of everything.

Five years later, with their worlds crumbling around them, Killian can’t help but wonder if this is the end of the peace they have known now that his family knows about his relationship. It wouldn’t be a problem if his father wasn’t the King of England.

rating: mature

a/n: thank you to the mods at @captainswanbigbang for running this event and helping to encourage writers to finish their wonderful stories, to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading all these words, and to @captainsjedi for making the beautiful artwork ❤️

ao3: beginning | current

tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

-/-

October 19th, 2018

October dawns bright and warm, but as it settles in, the warmth disappears into a chill and the brightness of the sky turns to the gray for which London is often known. Leaves are still in the midst of changing colors, from a dull green to vibrant oranges and reds that contrast the sky, and Emma finds herself staring out the large window in Killian’s bedroom to look at the leaves falling from a tree and drifting through the air until they eventually land on the edge of the roof. It’s been seven weeks since she slept in her own bed and had her parents just down the hall from her, and as weird as it’s been, she’s thankful for this.

She’s thankful that every day she is actively making the choice to be with Killian and to work at adjusting to all of the complications that come with this life.

It’s more than a lot, but as she looks down at her arm and sees it without the ugly white plaster and stretches her arms above her head without any pain, Emma reminds herself that time and a little extra care can heal things. The immediate reaction and pain doesn’t stay. It changes and lessens. Her body is healing, her heart too, and the darkness that surrounded her for all of August seems to have almost been extinguished.

Nothing about this has been easy, but Emma doesn’t want to retreat back and walk away again. She still believes that her reasons were sound, that she had to do it in order to take care of herself and protect her heart, and in a weird way, coming out on the other side has made her thankful for it.

Getting into a car crash and possibly almost dying because photographers wanted a picture of her sitting in a car after they found out about she and Killian’s breakup wasn’t great. She could have done without that. She still could. And she definitely won’t be getting in a car on a rainy night anytime soon.

Her physical scars may be lessening, most of them non-existent now, but she’s not ready for that. She’s not ready for a lot of things, but when has she ever been?

“Darling,” Killian calls out, and she gets a little smile on her face at how much his accent thickens on that word, “do you know where my solid navy tie is? It should be with all of the others, but I can’t find it.”

“Where did you last see it?”

“If I bloody well knew that, I wouldn’t be asking where it is.”

He pokes his head out of the bathroom before walking outside and finishing the buttons on his dress shirt. He looks handsome today in his navy pants and light blue dress shirt, and she really doesn’t see why he needs to wear a tie when he looks fine without it. Royal dress code or something. She doesn’t know. Over the past few weeks as she’s isolated herself in Killian’s apartment at Kensington or wandered over to Liam and Elsa’s to spend time with Elsa, she’s found herself going through guidebooks that Elsa had made when she got engaged to Liam. There are all these rules and regulations from how to cross your legs to what nail polish she’s supposed to wear, and while Emma thinks a lot of it is bullshit, it’s the territory that comes with being in this relationship.

Emma will paint her nails ballet slipper pink and cross her legs at the ankle every damn day if that’s what it takes. What she won’t do is be suffocated by the press and by Brennan.

What she won’t do is make Killian leave his family and break his mom’s heart simply because she couldn’t handle the pressure.

If he wants to leave, if it is truly his decision outside of her, she’s more than happy for them to live their lives in a simpler way where Killian doesn’t have to worry about where his solid navy tie is. Leaving may be in their future, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

But if they’re staying and doing this, she wants to make the best out of the situation. She wants to work with charities that help empower women and children. She wants to do that for men too, to educate them on the intricacies over an ever-changing world. She wants to do good and be good. This family is insane, the money and the traditions and the vault full of actual tiaras like something out of a movie, but they can use their privilege to do good.

Emma knows what it’s like to not have this kind of privilege, and now she may be in a position to help.

“Cool down, Casanova. No need to get all snippy over your tie. Where are you even going today?”

“The opening of a hospital wing and then I’m meeting with a slew of new security guards to interview.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Killian arches a brow. “Haven’t you spent enough time in hospitals lately?”

“I meant to the interviews, dumbass. Isn’t this for my security, too?”

Killian fidgets with the neck of his shirt, buttoning and then unbuttoning it so that black tufts of chest hair show. “Aye, but I figured I’d go through the candidates first, and then you could meet the top few to see which ones you’re most comfortable with.”

“I can come with you. It’s really not a big deal. I don’t have any plans for the day.”

“Swan, it’s fine. I promise.” Killian walks over to her and sits down on the edge of the bed next to her before taking her hand and bringing it to his mouth. “This is a dreadfully boring process, and my father is unfortunately going to be there for some of it, though I’ll likely leave the room when he does his own interviews. I don’t - after August, he’s convinced that I can’t pick out my own security team.”

“August was...I mean, he was selling information about us because his dad is sick and can’t afford the surgeries and medication back in America. He was willing to risk prison to save his dad. That’s not something you could have predicted.”

A part of Emma understands the words she’s telling Killian, but the other part of her wants to punch August’s fucking teeth out for making her life hell and inadvertently causing her crash.

“You’ve met Brennan. You know how he can be. I could do everything perfectly, but one screw up that’s outside of my control, and I’m incompetent.”

“Your dad sucks.”

Killian leans his head back with his laugh before leaning forward and pressing his lips to her knuckles once more. “In three words, you’ve managed to sum up quite a bit of my life.”

“I’m magical like that.”

“That you are, my love. That you are.” Killian sighs and blinks at her a few times. She thinks he’s going to say something to her, but then there’s a slight shake of his head and she knows the moment has passed. “Give me a little more time, and I swear I’ll talk to him. Seriously. He and I may never get along, but that’s okay. I simply need him to publicly accept you and to sign off on all of these protection measures for you.”

“Killian, you know you don’t have to do - ”

“No, I do. I will do everything I can to protect you, and if that means I have to have an actual conversation with my father where I don’t leave the room until I get what I want, I will. We’ve missed so much time not talking and not taking action. I don’t want to miss any more.”

Emma leans forward and presses her mouth to Killian’s cheek. “I love you. You should wear the white and navy striped tie instead of the solid one.”

He raises his hand to his forehead as he stands from the bed. “Aye, that’s a good idea.”

“And babe?”

“Yeah, love?”

“If Graham Humbert doesn’t make it to the final interview stage for security, Ruby and I will both be pissed at you. He’s who I want protecting me.”

“That doesn’t terrify me as much as it should.”

“Ruby will be vicious.”

“Eh.”

“I can withhold sex, and you just got that back.”

Killian mock gasps, placing his hand over his heart. “You’re a liar, Emma Nolan. I know you find me too attractive to ever do that.”

He catches the pillow she throws with annoying ease, and she hates him for it.

(Not really.)

After Killian leaves, Emma falls back into bed and thinks that she’ll spend her day watching Netflix or doing something else as equally lazy. What better way is there to spend her last day of being twenty-five?

None.

But that lasts approximately two episodes of a show before guilt nags at her, and she’s moving the covers off of her legs and standing from the bed with a frown etched on her lips and the idea that she needs to clean something. Cleaning is not at all her thing unless she’s working at the pub, but she’s been pretty much on vacation (if vacation included recovering from a car crash and having a million talks with your boyfriend over all of the problems in your relationship) for two months, and she’s probably genetically unable to not work for such long periods of time.

She’s in a literal palace, even if it’s nothing like any of the movies or shows, and instead of relaxing, she wants to clean up the spots Killian has let go over the past few weeks from not having a maid to aid him in his ridiculously specific cleaning rituals.

What even is her life?

She starts in the kitchen, going through Killian’s fridge and throwing out everything that’s expired or has gone bad, and she quickly moves on from that to vacuuming every rug and sweeping or dusting the places that get missed. It’s a lot, and if it wasn’t for the music that is playing over the system, she’d have quit hours ago. She’s about to quit now when she remembers just how messy Killian’s closet is because of her absolute inability to hang up her own clothes.

They’ve probably had more fights about that than, oh, you know, whether or not the actual King of England wants to behead her or not.

(Currently, they’re leaning more toward him wanting to lock her away in a dungeon so she can’t cause any more unintentional media frenzies. It’s apparently less dramatic than a beheading because at least she gets to live...this is a weird train of thought.)

Emma’s phone starts ringing, and she pulls it out of her pocket to answer as she walks up the stairs.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” David greets. “How are you feeling today? Old? Young? Like your life is over because you’re getting closer to late-twenties than early-twenties?”

“You are the most encouraging person alive.”

“I try.”

Emma chuckles and turns down the hallway to go into the bedroom, picking up her bra from where Killian must have tossed it last night and placing it in the hamper. “I’m fine. Killian’s at work opening a new hospital wing, apparently. I’m cleaning. How are you? What are you guys up to today?”

“I’m sorry. Did you say you were cleaning? Are we sure that you don’t have a concussion?”

“Your dad jokes are not good.”

“Every joke I’ve told since the day you were born has been a dad joke, and they’ve all been fabulous.”

She groans and walks into the closet before placing her phone on the table in the center of the room and putting it on speaker so she can do a little work before she loses momentum.

“I’m taking your dad joke privileges away, and to answer your question, I really am fine. I’m just messy, and Killian hasn’t had any of his usual staff in the apartment while I’ve been here. I think the whole August thing freaked him out so that he doesn’t trust anyone around me.”

“Someone close to him was selling information about you that harmed you. I’d be freaked out too. Hell, I am freaked out. If I wouldn’t get arrested for assault, I’d confront the guy.”

Everyone she loves wants to punch everyone who has hurt her, but they all stop themselves because of the fear of getting arrested for assault…she’s not sure if that’s flattering or concerning.

“What are you and Mom up to today?” she questions again, wanting to change the subject. She doesn’t want to talk about all of the shitty stuff that’s been happening to her lately. All she wants is to pick up all of her sweaters from the ground and figure out which ones need to be washed. Focusing on the bad is not how she’s going to move forward.

(And maybe not having to see August Booth’s face.)

“Your mom is downstairs with Will going over some possible menu changes, and I’ve been told I’m not allowed in the pub until I fix whatever is up with this toilet.”

“Ah, so you called me to procrastinate on doing that?”

“You know me so well.”

Emma fills in her dad on everything that’s been going on over the past few days. She tells him that her arm almost doesn’t feel weird anymore and that Ruby came over for dinner two nights again and brought Graham along with her. David is nearly as shocked by that as she was. This might be the longest relationship Ruby has ever had, and it’s good to see her so happy. It’s good that Emma likes Graham in that he’s dating her best friend and also might be protecting Emma’s life from now on if his next round of interviews goes well. In return, her dad gives her far too much information on the date he and her mom went on last night, and then he spends at least ten minutes talking about the difference in two brands of tomatoes.

All the while Emma has almost the entire closet (seriously, her dad talked for way too long and gave too much information about the date like he was talking to a friend and not his daughter) cleaned up. When she moves a pair of jeans that are on Killian’s side of the closet, she finds his solid blue navy tie he was searching for earlier.

“Ha,” she mumbles before reaching down to grab the tie.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she says to her dad before tugging on the tie and pulling it up only for a small black box to roll out of it and tumble down onto the ground. “Holy shit.”

“Emma, are you okay?” David asks, but Emma barely hears him over the pounding of her heart. There might as well be an entire drumline in the room.

“Emma?”

“Y-yeah,” she lies even as her fingers tug so tightly on the tie that it might tear. “Hey, Dad? Has Killian talked to you about any...future type things?”

“What do you mean?”

Emma huffs and goes to pick up the box. They could be earrings, right? Or a necklace? Or another ring? She’s got a sapphire one she wears on her right hand. Killian has given her a ring before that wasn’t an engagement ring. That doesn’t mean what’s in this box is one. He buys her jewelry, and it’s not a big deal.

Except…

When the hell did he have time to get this?

How long has he had it? What made him decide to get it? When does he plan on using it? Does he still plan on using it after their breakup?

“You know what I mean. Has he - you know what,” Emma decides, placing the box on the table, “never mind. Don’t tell me anything. I think I’m going to have to call you back later.”

“Whatever you want,” David sighs, confused. “I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”

And then the phone line disconnects and she’s left with nothing except for the sound of that damn drumline and the jewelry box that she doesn’t know what to do with. She’s not going to look. She can’t look. There’s no good that would come out of it.

She really wants to look.

Like, really.

“No,” Emma tells herself, grabbing the box off the table and moving to put it back where it must have been before it got tangled in her jeans and in the tie. She puts the tie back for good measure as well, and she’s absolutely going to bite her tongue on bragging about finding the tie when Killian gets home.

He wants to marry her.

She wants to marry him.

Maybe cleaning was worth something.

-/-

Killian comes home that night with grilled cheese sandwiches, which he hates, and onion rings from Ruby’s grandmother’s restaurant, and she doesn’t think she’s ever loved him more.

He tells her that Graham has moved onto the final selections even with Brennan’s hounding and worry over Graham not being trained in the same way as their usual security.

Emma knows that she wants him to be the one who’s hired. She’s not going to trust anyone else, not after everything that’s happened.

-/-

He doesn’t give her any kind of jewelry for her birthday the next day, and she knows what was in the box.

There’s no definite proof, but Emma knows.

Right now, where they are, she’s not ready to get married, but she will be someday. Probably soon. So if Killian were to ask her, she’d say yes over and over again, but the actual getting married part would have to be put on hold until her emotions, Killian’s too, were a little less chaotic.

Love is a really funny thing.

-/-

November 10th, 2018

The cool of the marble pebbles Emma’s skin as Killian helps guide her on top of the counter. His fingers inch over the back of her thighs and up behind her knees where she’s sensitive, and she giggles into his neck while trying to keep herself from bursting into hysterical laughter. Killian keeps the apartment so warm that she didn’t bother to put on anything more than her sleep shorts and a t-shirt last night before going to bed, and she’s regretting that now with every shift over her body over the countertop. But Killian is warm, especially when he steps in between her thighs and she hooks her ankles around his back right over his ass, and every touch of his fingers, gentle and teasing, brings a little more fire to her body.

Especially if he’d stop trying to tickle her while hotly running his tongue down the side of her throat and leaving open-mouthed kisses there.

He’s particularly good at those, and she could spend day after day close to him as he covers her body with affectionate words and delicate brushes of lips that turn into more.

Really, that’s been the last two months, even with her having to wear that atrocious cast for most of it, but they found simple ways to fix that. Being apart and not having those beautiful blue eyes to look into or that laugh to hear after a funny joke was absolutely torture, and having him back in her life, having him back as her person, is something Emma doesn’t ever want to take for granted again.

She will inevitably. It’s human nature. But she doesn’t want to.

Being with Killian is the easy thing. Fighting off the demons is what makes it difficult, but fighting off the demons and conquering them has made her realize that good things often come after struggles that seem impossible.

She’s a sentimental fool now, and she doesn’t care.

(Finding the engagement ring two weeks ago has made her even more sentimental.)

She especially doesn’t care as Killian’s tongue dips into her collarbone and his hands snake up underneath her shirt, warm palms against cool skin in a combination of which she’ll never tire. Emma knows that Killian is a sentimental fool now too. He was before, definitely more than her, but she can see all of the little ways he’s being more affectionate than he was before.

That’s saying something.

But his affection has been obvious lately. In the mornings, she always wakes to him curled around her, hand resting between her breasts and chin nuzzled into the back of her neck. That’s not how they sleep, not usually, so she knows that he does that when he wakes up in the morning while she’s still sleeping. He’s always touching her - hands intertwined, arm around her waist, ankles hooked together - like he’s looking for constant reassurance that she’s real.

That they’re real.

Killian has gone to war for her on multiple occasions, and she has seen the intensity and the fighting spirit that he possesses. She watched him break down over her accident and watched him absolutely vilify every single press association that was involved in that incident or any of the ones that have attacked her in the past or stolen private information from her. She’s watched him deal with the Neal interviews that seem to keep coming despite their falsities, and she’s watched him do absolutely everything that he can to protect her.

Emma never wanted protection or help. She thought that it made her weak to not be able to handle things on her own, but that was wrong.

All of it.

People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You have to punch back and say “no, this is who I am.” If you want people to look at you differently, make them. If you want to change things, you’re going to have to go out there and change them yourself. Because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

But there are supportive partners who punch back with you or stand to the side and cheer you on when you need it the most.

“I hate these bloody shorts,” Killian mumbles into her skin as the deep timbre of his voice vibrates down her spine. “I seem to both want you in them and out of them all at once.”

“That’s quite the conundrum you have going on, Jones.”

Killian chuckles before nipping at her jaw and pulling back so that she sees his eyes are blown black. “You are the conundrum, Nolan,” he softly says as his thumbs ghost over both of her nipples, slowly but surely bringing them to peaks. “It’s a funny thing. I seem to always want you. I want you in the mornings, at night, in the middle of the damn day…”

Emma hums while pleasure continues to curl between her thighs, and she wraps her arms loosely around his neck, playing with his hair and running the gemstone of her ring down the back of his neck. “Tell me more about this wanting me in the morning thing.”

The look on his face is positively dirty, and it’s exactly what she wants. So when his hands leave her breasts and move to take her shirt off, she stretches her arms in the air and allows him to undress her until the warm air of the heater is touching her skin. Killian shifts against her so that she can feel his length brushing against where she wants him, a perfect fit in a position that shouldn’t be comfortable, and she melts at his touch as the roughness of his unshaven scruff scratches against her neck and down her sternum to be between her breasts.

“You’re a damn temptress,” he mutters, voice deep and raspy with sleep still lingering. “I wake up and see the smoothness of your skin laid out before me, and my mind is only filled with thoughts of you. I’ve never wanted someone like this.”

“Funny thing, I feel the same way.”

“Do you now?” His fingers tug into her shorts and her underwear, and she lifts her hips as he pulls them down and off of her ankles so that she’s left bare before him, the marble chilling her skin has goosebumps pop up and spread over her.

“I do. Most definitely. You’re quite the catch.”

Killian laughs as he captures her lips, so soft and pliant and warm, with her own. There’s something to be said for kissing just for the sake of kissing, the feeling it sends through her body, and when Emma gently runs her tongue across his bottom lip, asking for entrance, he gladly grants it, tangling their tongues together in one of his favorite dances. She’s definitely picked a partner who knows what he’s doing.

Emma runs her hands through the hair at the nape of his neck and keeps her hand anchored there while the other runs up his spine, soft little taps of her fingertips against the bone underneath his shirt. They stay that way for awhile, lips moving together, until Emma’s hand leaves his hair to move underneath his shirt as well, pulling up at the material until he pulls back and tugs it over his head.

“I feel like we’re on a little bit more equal footing now. You were wearing too many clothes.”

“Was I? I hadn’t noticed. I was a little bit distracted by how unsanitary it’s going to be for us to fuck in the kitchen.”

“That’s literally never stopped you before.”

He huffs and leans forward to kiss her, slow and so impossibly thorough that she feels it all the way down to her toes. “I know,” he grins. “Are you okay up there, or do you want to move upstairs?”

“As long as you don’t hit my head into a cabinet, I’m fine.”

“You’re so beautiful, my love,” he whispers against her skin, kissing the tops of her breasts as her eyelids flutter closed and she recovers from the whiplash in the change of his tone. “I remember the first time I saw you, Emma,” he speaks into her skin as his nose drags along her stomach and arousal tugs at her belly. “You were – are so bloody gorgeous, the curls of your ponytail framing your face and the dark of your eyelashes looking down at me as you told me to get my soggy ass out of the booth.”

“I didn’t say that,” she protests, running her hand through the hair and tugging him down closer to where she’s desperately aching for her.

There’s something about the night that they met that Killian always thinks about. It’s a frequent remembrance, this conversation one they’ve had before, and Emma knows that in moments where Killian is nostalgic, where he’s thinking about how much she means to him, his mind goes back to that night and piecing together all of the circumstances for their meeting.

She doesn’t care how it happened. Just that it did.

No one was ever supposed to love her or treasure her like this. This wasn’t supposed to be how it is for her. She wasn’t supposed to get the good guy. It wasn’t in the cards.

Life has apparently decided to deal her a new hand altogether.

“But you were thinking it,” he whispers against skin, lips pressing against her small tattoo and lingering there. She thought getting that might be a mistake, that the desperation was too much, but over the past few weeks, Killian has held onto it like a glimmer of hope. She did the same. “You looked so frustrated with me, like how dare I walk into your pub in order to get out of the rain.”

“Shameful, really,” she teases, and when she opens her mouth to say something else, she can’t, her throat suddenly too tight to speak while the entirety of the English language escapes from her brain.

Killian’s hands hook around the back of her knees, and this time there’s no playful teasing. Instead, he spreads her legs further apart and bends down to his own knees. She’s about to make a joke about him not hurting himself, a tease over his twenty-ninth birthday last month and how dramatic he was over being nearly thirty, but then he’s kissing her exactly where she wants him, where she needs him.

His tongue drags roughly against her like a perfected routine, and Emma’s eyes tighten. She can’t bear to open them, but then she does and sees the dark mess of hair between the paleness of her thighs. Even more than that, she sees the blue of his eyes under the hood of his eyelid, and she wonders if today is going to be the day that this is all too much for her.

Never.

Killian shifts underneath her, his right hand leaving the curve of her knee to join with his tongue as he kisses her and kisses her and kisses her. Moans filter between them, hers and his, and the tension could be cut with one of the knives that’s in the drawer beneath her ass. It’s all too much - too much pleasure and want and love - and when he slips two fingers into her and curls them, she gasps out his name as a chant that never seems to stop.

“Magnificent,” he mumbles, the sound of his voice like liquid fire in her veins. “Bloody magnificent. Your noises, my darling. Fuck.”

There’s something about knowing that Killian is as affected by things like this as she is, even if he’s the one giving all of the pleasure, and that with the combination of his mouth moving over her bundle of nerves and his fingers moving within her as her falling apart little by little, like the waves cresting onto the shore.

Damn.

Killian presses a kiss to where she’s still fluttering before moving to her thigh, light touches that are nothing more than a blink, a whisper. When he rises from the ground, he grunts, probably from having his knees pressed into hardwood for so long, but she doesn’t think about that for too long when she can feel him hard against her and pressing into her thigh. “Mmm,” Emma hums, pulling herself up and tugging Killian closer to her so that she buries her face in his neck, kissing the straining cord. “You are wonderful.” “Ah, well, that tends to be your reaction after we do something like that.” “Are you fishing for compliments?” “Never.” She chuckles while he does the same, and even without looking, she knows that his eyes are crinkled, joy written across his face.

“Do you want to move upstairs or…”

“Upstairs. Definitely upstairs.”

They move quickly, neither of them in the mood to wait, and while it would have been faster to move to the couch in the living room, this is better. Killian falls back to the bed with laughter on his lips, and Emma immediately hooks her thumbs into his sweats and pulls them down as much as she can before he lifts his hips off the bed to help her out, kicking them off his ankles and onto the floor while she is busy kissing up his thigh, her hand running up his length, feeling the warm hardness in her palms.

“Emma,” Killian moans, voice gruntled. She smirks into his thigh and keeps her hand on his length.

“I am romancing you, Killian,” she promises against his lightning bolt scar before crawling up his body, peppering open mouthed kisses against the trail of his chest hair until she’s leaning over his mouth, her folds teasing him at their hips. “Like you do to me.”

“Darling - ”

“Your eyes, even blown black with desire like they are right now,” she whispers, circling her hips above him to lightly grind down, “are the most gorgeous blue I’ve ever seen.”

She touches his face then, running her fingers over his jaw. “I love your stubble, how it’s black with a little bit of red peppered in, and I love when you don’t shave for a few days and it’s full and just the right mix of soft and prickly. I love the way it feels when you rub it against my cheek in the mornings when you’re waking me up or how it feels against the inside of my thighs.”

She kisses his jaw, running her tongue behind her lips, and the grunt Killian makes curls as little bursts of fire down her spine.

“I love,” she says, running her hands down his biceps as she sits on his lap, right below where she knows he wants her, “the strength of your arms when you hold me, no matter what the occasion. And I love,” she moves her hands through the hair at his chest as Killian twitches beneath her touch, “this hair and how it pokes through the top of all of your shirts. I love the ways that your eyes crinkle when you’re truly smiling.”

I love that you love me enough to want to marry me, she thinks to herself before saying. “I love that you fight for me every day no matter the circumstances.”

She rises on her legs and scoots forward, guiding him to her entrance before slowly, slowly, slowly sinking down onto him. It’s a perfect fit. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, and Killian’s hands grapple for her hips, nails digging into skin. She doesn’t think he’s ever been this quiet for such a long period of time during sex.

“And mostly, at least for our purposes right now, what I love is the feeling of you inside me, thick and full and perfect.”

At that, she starts to move, rolling her hips against him, and it feels so goddamn good that her brief stint as the verbose one in the relationship has ended and Killian is the one to start muttering words of encouragement and curses that would have anyone blushing. She sets a slow, unhurried pace that she knows will draw out pleasure, but Killian doesn’t let her do that for long before he takes control of their movements, speeding up the pace as he thrusts up into her. She lets out a whimper as he hits the exact right spot, and Killian captures the next one with his mouth, kissing her like a man starved of affection and like it’s not ten in the morning.

Suddenly, Killian grabs her hips and rolls them over to change their position, his body encasing hers. He mutters a “bloody fuck” when she clenches her thighs to try to keep him from slipping out, and Emma throws her head back with laughter even if she shouldn’t.

Killian nips at her neck, but she can feel his smile too.

He must be able to tell that she’s getting close, rising higher and higher to her peak, because he releases her hips to grab her wrists, sliding his hands until their fingers are interlaced above her head. He tilts his hips so that his thrusts catch her clit. Her breath hitches and her legs wrap around his backside, and Emma might actually melt. She thinks that she has. Her limbs are all jelly, and Killian isn’t much better above her.

This is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

There are a million things they should probably do today, but they never seem to move away from bed besides getting food from the kitchen. That’s what she’d been trying to do this morning when Killian distracted her, but she’s not going to complain. This is good and nice and Emma could wrap herself in these blankets and in Killian for the rest of time.

When she wakes later, it’s to the slap of a hand to her skin, and Emma immediately flinches and jolts up, blinking into the darkness.

“Ow, shit, Killian. What was that for?”

“I was just making sure you’re here,” he mumbles, voice groggy.

“By slapping me?”

“Killian,” a voice says, and Emma realizes that Killian is on the phone. He might not even realize he’s on the phone. “Killian are you there? “Killian, have you heard a single word I’ve said?”

Liam. He’s talking to Liam.

Holy shit. Why is Liam calling him in the middle of the night?

“I’ll be honest, no. I’m still mostly asleep.”

“Asleep my ass,” Emma mumbles before reaching over to put the call on speaker phone so she doesn’t have to keep straining her ears to hear him. Killian grumbles something, but she ignores him as she settles herself underneath his arm. “Liam, what’s wrong? Is everyone okay?”

“Elsa is in labor, and we sent all of our nannies home for the night. Can the two of you watch Alex for us?”

“Of course,” Emma sighs. “Bring him over when you guys leave, okay?”

“I will, lass. Thank you.”

“It’s not a problem,” Killian promises, finally waking up. “Congratulations, brother.” At that, the line goes dead, and Emma immediately moves to get out of bed only for Killian tugs her back into him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Emma raises a brow and motions down to the distinct lack of clothes on both of their bodies. “I know Alex is about to have a sibling, which is definite proof of his parents having sex, but I don’t want to be the one to have to explain why his uncle was having a naked sleepover with me.”

“Really? You don’t want to explain sex to a toddler? Shocker.”

She huffs and leans forward to brush her lips over his forehead. “Congratulations on being an uncle again, babe.”

Emma hears his swallow as his head nods up and down in affirmation. “Thanks, love. Let’s go put on some clothes so we don’t scar the lad.”

-/-

The next chapter is technically the last official chapter. How is that even possible? Thank you all for coming along for this ride ❤️

tag list: @mrtinski @klynn-stormz @jonirobinson64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @sherifemma @shardminds @captainsjedi @galaxyzxstark @galadriel26 @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @itsfabianadocarmo @owlways-and-forever @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @397bartonstreet @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @scarletslippers @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @captainswanbigbang

#what a wicked game #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #csrt #captain swan rewrite a thon #captain swan

94 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

Text

CHRISTMAS FICS 2019 Pt. 1

Happy holidays everyone!! This year, no one asked me for my latest Christmas fics, so I took the opportunity to do something I’ve wanted to do for awhile: give ALL OF the bookmarks I have for the Christmas season... essentially updating my current Christmas lists so I make sure I didn’t forget any of them :P

Included below is EVERY bookmark I have up to today, for both Christmas and New Year! I hope you enjoy everything!

I’ll have Pt. 2 up for you tomorrow, which is EVERYTHING I have recently recorded for my Marked for Later list, and kindly ask you wait until THAT list for you to add your own lists so that I have everything I should read in one place! <3

Hope these lists get you into the holiday spirit the week before Christmas!! <3 Love you all!

ALL XMAS BOOKMARKS Dec. 2019

See also: New Year’s Fics (Jan 2018)

New Year, New Beginning by DaisyFairy (T, 810 w., 1 Ch. || New Year’s Eve, John POV, Post S4, Friends to Lovers) – New Year at a crime scene and John makes a decision.

Q 1 HR by StillWaters1 (K+, 2,234 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John, Fluff, New Year’s Eve) – On New Year's Eve, Sherlock discovers that sometimes it's the seemingly innocuous, rather than life-threatening, conditions that can keep John from The Work. And John is reminded just how deeply their friendship runs.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w., 1 Ch. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock's cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

Unimpressed by 221b_hound (M, 3,106 w., 1 Ch. || New Year’s Eve, Dancing, Jealousy) – Sherlock has no intention of attending the Met's New Year's Eve party. The start of a new year is all but meaningless to him. But he ends up there anyway, having odd conversations, and John does not find Sherlock's jealousy the slightest bit cute. And then there is dancing. Part 10 of Unkissed

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing. You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year's Kiss

------

Again, if you have fics to add, I kindly ask you wait until TOMORROW’S list to suggest them, so that they’re all in one place I can logically remember to check for new fics to read!! :) This list is meant to be my gift to you guys, with my bookmarks list, and Tomorrow’s is the community gift to the fandom with stuff people have suggested to me and others! <3

#johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #christmas fics #all bookmarks #long post

330 notes · View notes

thegoodtailor · 4 years ago

Text

~ Ode to Green Mush ~

(Health Update 11/15/20)

I get quite a few questions about why I’m unable to eat like a normal human, or why I start my day at 2:00am. Because I’ve a lot of joint and nerve pain in my hands/fingers, typing at length is difficult… but today’s a “good day” so I thought I might give ya’ll a glimpse into my daily routine. Welcome to the third circle of hell for a former “foodie”.

Since I’ve been loosing stomach function, I have to structure my whole day around eating/drinking/digesting. Trying to keep my body going when each meal is limited to an 8oz/250ml measuring cup is fraught. Everything has to be nutrient dense. No fucking cucumber, you know? I’ve a thousand little rules, but here’s the major ones: 1) Each meal must be 8oz/250ml + small dry snack (like a granola bar or cookie). A bite over this, or a sip of too much water and it feels like ripping stomach muscle all day. 2) Tiny sips of liquids. No drinking 1 hour before and after a meal. Too much water overly expands my stomach and prevents digestion + emptying (think gastroparesis). Everything that goes into my stomach must be closely monitored. 3) I cannot sit or lie down for 4 hours after eating. The smooth muscle function (the automatic ones) in my stomach must be stimulated by skeletal muscle to digest food. Endless pacing. Hello back pain. 4) Do not bend down if there’s food in the stomach. Holy shit, it’s like origami folding internal organs. Unless it’s completely empty, I can’t even touch my abdomen without pain. I use mobility tools to pick up items. 5) Don’t beat myself up if I’ve had a bad day. By nighttime, I’m so nauseous and sick it’s really intolerable. There’s no point in the day where I don’t feel like my abdomen is enacting the chest buster scene from Alien. I make mistakes all the time, and it can take days to recover. Keep going.

-DAILY ROUTINE- 2:00am - Wake-Up, take care of Brawn and make Breakfast. 3:00am - Finish Breakfast 3:10am to 6:00am - Chores, prepare Mom’s breakfast. 6:10am - Walk Brawn 6:50am - Take Shower 7:15am - Rest, listen to audiobook 8:15am - Prepare Lunch 9:00am - Finish Eating 9:15 to 1:00pm - Chores, prepare Mom’s Lunch, do something creative if fingers are ok. 1:00pm - Rest, listen to audiobook 1:40pm - Prepare Dinner 2:30pm - Finish Eating 2:40pm to 5:00pm - Chores, prepare Mom’s Dinner. 5:00pm - Watch TV/Movie 5:00pm - 16oz of 2% Milk (sipped slowly) 6:00pm - Shower 7:15pm - Bedtime. I don’t sleep much, but I try and rest as much as possible. 12:00am - Hyrdrate like a sea monster while my stomach’s empty. 2:00am - Wake-up, repeat. BREAKFAST: 1/2 steamed apple. 1 muesli square. Approximately 390g. About the size of a deck of cards. My breakfast muesli squares are mostly rolled oats, but also include a mix of buckwheat, sorghum flakes, goji berries (high in vitamin A), dates, cocoa powder and flax meal. I cook it with soy milk until all water is evaporated and then press it into a dish to store. In the morning, I put a square in a pan with a little butter and brown it. Compact and nutrient dense. LUNCH: 1 cup (8oz) puree of chicken, broccoli, spinach, dried fruit, goat cheese, hemp seeds (high in magnesium), stock. A crunchy granola bar or digestive biscuit. Add-ins: Fresh herbs, Promix vegan protein powder, tiny bit of pesto, nutritional yeast, etc. DINNER: 1 cup (8oz) puree of tilapia, avocado, kale, dried fruit, unsweetened soy milk. 1 fig bar. 1/2 crunchy granola bar. MILK: I’ve slowly worked up from only being able to stomach a few seeps to a full 16oz. I can’t tolerate anything richer than 2%, but being able to have a 4th “meal” has been a life saver. It takes me an hour of slow sipping, but adding almost 280 calories and 20g of protein is the reason I’m stable again at 94lbs (42 kg). Blessings be to the cows. MENTAL HEALTH: Cue Edvard Munch... but that aside, thank you to everyone who's been supporting me through this. My pirate pals made my birthday in October absolutely wonderful. My ko-fi b-day money allowed me to buy all the cold weather gear I needed. Keeping warm in the winter with a broken AC has been a lot harder than I'd expected. So that’s the routine. Between Covid-19 running like wildfire and Medicaid not covering referrals outside the city, I’m royally stuck. I’m just trying my best to hold back the despair and keep my body from falling apart.✌️ I’ve also become a connoisseur of crunchy granola bars, in case ya’ll want to know what's what.

#coz-personal

11 notes · View notes

rimalaw · 4 years ago

Text

Why this Non-Trump Voter Thinks Trump Could Win 2020

I am a registered independent and both parties have ideals I agree with, and sadly those I don’t. Therefore, I am always left out and just looking for who will better support some of the more important values that I believe in. I did not vote for Trump, and because I need healthcare (among other things), I cannot support a man who wants to destroy the healthcare plan that I am on, without a real plan in place that will protect people with pre-existing conditions. Trump says ObamaCare is a horrible program! But what the heck has he offered??? Nothing! I can't take small talk to the doctor or hospital if and when you take away my health plan, and have to wait for small business enrollment in Florida (1x a year) to kick in and charge me tons of money to cover my pre-existing condition!

When Bush was President, health insurance was costing me over $1,200/month, and now under the Affordable Care Act (a/k/a Obama Care which is really why Trump hates it... it doesn’t have his NAME!!), I am paying approximately $600.00 a month for a really good plan. Make no mistake, by now my plan would cost AT LEAST $1400.00-$1500.00, since I am 16-20 years older than when Bush was President. Let me not forget how Obamacare saved the life of my best friend, who would otherwise NOT have gone to the doctor, and not have discovered a life threatening illness, which but for the Grace of God, she did. Because of her health plan, she received the best care and treatment, and thank God survived one of the worst diagnosis one could get. She got the plan two (2) weeks before she went to the doctor! This is what Trump wants to take away! Trump wants to take away lifesaving care without a REAL PLAN in place to help millions of Americans.

And make no mistake; sadly, I think people who are on that plan, who rely on this plan, who have family or friends who need that plan, etc. etc. will still NAIVELY and IGNORANTLY vote for Trump.

Why do I think that enough people would vote for Trump and that he can win? Well... Let’s think about it:

1-He is campaigning like a high energy Super Bowl Team in all the swing states, bringing with him his own type of electrifying energy, electrifying his base, and those who are still on the fence and can feel some of that electricity as the attendees and media blare their excitement of his visit. Make no mistake, these visits matter. When I ran for Judge 14 years ago, I was an unknown an the youngest in my race. I didn’t have the type of ethnic or Anglo name needed to win in my County. However, every area that I was able to heavily campaign in, make speeches, meet people, I WON. I didn’t win that election, but I won those areas. So I realized that meeting people matters, and in this race, make no mistake, these super spreader events excite people. They don’t care about COVID while they are there, and for the most part have learned to live with it. They just care that the biggest Super Bowl team came to their town and made them feel GOOD! I know Biden has toured, but I’m sorry it doesn’t come close. I know he was doing social distancing etc, but the car thing isn’t exciting nor generating the amount of crowds and energy that it needs.

2-COVID- yes believe it or not, without COVID, Trump might have been up in the polls without issue. Then COVID happened which threw him down in the polls, and then his apparent lack of handling it, threw him even further down. Then he got COVID, and believe it or not, even though he didn’t seize the opportunity to come out more contrite, which would have assured him a win, he still earned a lot of points. How: A) because America saw him as human and actually felt scared for their President (even some of the ones that didn’t vote for him); B) America got to see that he BEAT IT! Yes, he has the best doctors and treatment etc, but America saw that this 74 year old overweight man, who got sick enough to need treatment, still BEAT IT! So now America sees COVID (foolishly or not) not to be so feared, which deep down everyone wants to believe. These two results of Trump getting COVID actually earned him voters as people felt scared for him and then happy at his beating COVID, signaling the Country and they could too could slay this dragon; and finally C) people are seeing the country economically recover and attributing this to his lack of fear of COVID, and the desire to keep the country out of lockdown which most Americans are fed up with.

3-Fracking- For the love of God Joe, you don’t denounce fracking like that when you need the swing states in the way that you do. Instead you CONFIDENTLY say, “don’t worry, our plan is to slowly bring in safe alternate sources of energy while we freely train current workers and so many more (as we will have so many jobs created) to transition into great and even BETTER paying safer jobs. NO ONE WILL LOSE ONE JOB, and I can guarantee even BETTER Jobs for you all.” But instead, you have Trump in Pennsylvania, and other swing states scaring people that they will lose their jobs.

4-Law and Order-Make no mistake, I believe the police have systemic racism and needs serious training and overhauling. But Biden and Democrats need to COMPLETELY distance themselves from the anarchist propaganda of defunding the police. That was NEVER a train to ride. From the first use of those words, BIDEN should have never bitten, not even a nibble. Now with the visual of businesses boarding up, Trump is touting about these rioters and giving the illusion to those voters less capable to comprehend the difference, that this is what the Democrats, i.e. Joe are doing and allowing. From the get go, Dems and Joe should have aggressively, I mean hot tooting crazy like attacked and distances themselves from it.

5-COVID AGAIN-I wear masks (2), I barely go out, etc, but like most Americans, we are tired of hearing about COVID. When that is all that you hear, gloom and doom, and Biden talks about dark days, it just doesn’t sit so well. Strangely enough, to people on the fence now, Trump seems like the guy that wants to give you freedom and a cheery positive outlook of life, while the Democrats, CNN, MSNBC, etc., are painting this bleak picture and more lockdowns, that no one wants to keep hearing about.

6-The Darn Polls- So many polls tooting a Biden victory whether true or not, are only making on the fence people, the lazy, the unmotivated, the unenergized Democratic voters say, “they don’t need me, ... I’m not so excited.. or Biden will win anyway.” Meanwhile, the Trump supporters are freaking out and making sure they show up in massive droves to help their Super Bowl Team, I mean their guy. Plus, any poll should really discount a lot of points away from Biden, because really, there are a lot of paranoid secretive, conspiracy believing, or seemingly ashamed Trump voters who will not participate. Remember, a bleeding hard liberal is more likely to be kind to a pollster and answer a poll; and a right winger will say, “I have nothing to say, leave me alone,” hang up, etc...

7-Socialism-Kill this socialism crap- The Dems should have killed this idea long ago, and Biden should have been VERY ASSERTIVE and vocal about how he is for middle of the road values (yes I know this might alienate the Bernie people, but that’s what Bernie is for. And if this party is so crazy to sit out and let Trump win because Biden isn’t left enough, well then the party has bigger issues which no amount of therapy can fix).

8-The last Debate- Trump basically showed people he is not so crazy, he can have restraint, he wasn’t rude. People who were running away from him after the first debate or on the fence, came back after he showed America and the world that he isn’t so bad.

9-Strength and POWER- Basically, aside from the fact that Trump often appears to be a bully, lately, more than anything he has shown stamina and strength. People like that, and want to join the stronger looking team, and the man that never ever seems to stop, and confidently never takes NO for an answer. People, like to support the one that appears to never back down, never accept defeat, never look weak, and never quit!

10-Too many people believe his lies, those of the crazies on Facebook, and the alt right that disseminate the worst of the fake news. Sadly THE DEMS DON'T STRONGLY and DEFINITIVELY ATTACK THEM!! Every talking point should have been hit with a barrage of targeted commercials and aggressive stump speeches. People need to be told for example, “TRUMP brags about the economy, he hopes you have amnesia and forget that OBAMA left him with a booming economy, and only an untrained monkey could ruin it. All Trump did was NOT destroy it YET, but his tax cuts to the MILLIONAIRES (not you AMERICA making under 400k) will cause us a depression if he is in office four more years because you can only pay so much to help the country without having income we used to rely on coming in.”

Well, that’s all folks. I hope I am wrong, but if it doesn’t go as the untrustworthy polls show, these are some of the main reasons why. These points are for that small percentage that pick the winner in most Presidential elections, not for the firmly committed of either party. Also, if Biden doesn’t win, then those who protested this summer did not all come out to vote, and that’s shameful!

#trump2020 #election2020 #2020 presidential election #stoptrump #Trumpcanwin

1 note · View note

chroniclesofamber · 5 years ago

Text

THE CHRONICLES OF AMBER & History Lessons

It should be obvious that writers, composers, painters and all artists respond to the time in which they live, and that this is reflected in their art. And it should also come as no surprise that some material is more strongly influenced by the historical moment than other art. All this is at least as true for Roger Zelazny and his idolized Chronicles of Amber — perhaps somewhat more so, given that these five books in no small way chart a complete decade.

NINE PRINCES IN AMBER (1970)

History: Pieces of the first book saw print as early as 1967. It appears Zelazny worked on the book here and there for three years or more until its publication in 1970. Still looming over the political landscape of the time was the assassination of John F. Kennedy years earlier, which had led to the Johnson “great society” era and from there to Nixon’s struggles with China, the Soviet Union and the Vietnam War. Just as influential was the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., as well as that of Robert Kennedy. The 1960s were dominated by these issues, the Cold War and threat of nuclear annihilation, the rise of the counter-culture and protest movements, the Beatles and Woodstock, and the first landing of men on the Moon.

As someone familiar with Jungian psychology and Frazer’s Golden Bough, Zelazny saw a way to harness the interregnum turmoil of the Sixties while incorporating the ritual of “the Killing of the King.” (Conspiriologists left and right — politically, and otherwise — have long adhered to the notion that it was not a coincidence that this particular killing of the king had been carried out in accordance with ancient ritual.) The King of Amber is missing or deceased. Factions have quickly aligned to jockey for the best position to take advantage of the power vacuum. That a conspiracy to remove both the king and Corwin is uncovered, a few books later, also mirrors the deaths of the Kennedys. Our hero, already in a state of confusion over his own identity and situation, is thrust into the midst of this power-struggle and — like Armstrong and Aldrin aboard the Eagle — soon finds himself visiting another world.

Lesson: Corwin charges in somewhat blindly, and is literally blinded (and imprisoned) as a result. When he miraculously regains both his sight and his freedom, he vows that patience and planning will guide him going forward and that, this time, he will prevail and take his rightful place in Amber. He also learns that what drives you, what you want, has a lot to say about who you are.

Journey: He starts out being held against his will in a hospital, recovering from broken legs and near-drowning from a car accident. By the end of the book, he is recuperating from years of blindness and imprisonment under much better circumstances in a remote lighthouse while cared for by an old friend. When he leaves the lighthouse, no one tries to thwart his departure (he is voluntarily assisted, in point of fact), he knows exactly who he is and what he wants, and has a clear idea of his objective and how to achieve it.

THE GUNS OF AVALON (1972)

History: Two years pass, eventful ones. No shortage of natural disasters — major cholera epidemics in Istanbul and Slovakia; avalanches in France and Peru; earthquakes in Tonghai, Gediz, Burdur, Bingöl, Peru and elsewhere destroy cities and kill thousands; Mount Etna erupts; Montreal is buried by the blizzard dubbed La Tempête du Siècle; the Odisha cyclone overtakes the Bay of Bengal and claims 10,000 lives; 50 tornadoes tear through Louisiana and Mississippi; floods put Bangladesh and eastern Bengal underwater; the Bhola cyclone wipes out half a million people. But the real disasters turn out to be man-made, so much so that this period could easily be described by the phrase “state of emergency.” The Apollo 13 mission fails, though the astronauts survive and the summer of 1971 sees a rover rolling across the surface of the Moon. Oil-price instability and Nixon taking the dollar off the gold standard together signal economic and energy crises yet-to-come, but the real instability is social, political and military. Coups and assassinations become commonplace as former colonial possessions are granted independence.

Keyword: Napalm. Bombs, terrorism, murder and violence, state-sanctioned and otherwise, plague the United Kingdom due to resistance to British rule in Northern Ireland. American incursions into Laos and Cambodia fuel growing anti-war sentiment. The publication of the Pentagon Papers and the COINTELPRO documents stolen from FBI offices in Pennsylvania, news images of the Kent State shootings, and revelations of the My Lai Massacre throw gasoline onto the fire: 150,000 protest the Vietnam War in San Francisco on the same day that half a million march on Washington, D.C. 60% of Americans oppose American troops in Southeast Asia. Meanwhile, the ashes of Hitler, Eva Braun, and the Goebbels family are scattered in East Germany’s Biederitz River. Echoing all this, Zelazny pulls from the Grail quest an idea which unites the chaos reflected in the natural and human worlds in a single image — the Wasteland — and gives it the form of the Black Road, which Corwin discovers runs all the way to the outskirts of his beloved Amber.

Lesson: Corwin struggles with his commitment to his system of values as demonic beings and foreign-imposed dictatorship threaten the shadow world Lorraine and Amber herself. With some reluctance, he risks his own neck for a place lost to him long ago, and abandons his scheme to turn his troops and guns against Amber when the kingdom seems on the brink of falling to an enemy coming in strength. He understands the necessity to adapt to changing conditions and to remain flexible while pursuing his goals.

Journey: Corwin intends to sail straight to Avalon but gets lost in his very own Wood of Error, so that a spontaneous choice leads him instead into the hell of Lorraine, its Goat, and the citadel at the heart of the Black Circle. Toward the end of the book he is again diverted from his course in that his original mission, to exact vengeance on his brother Eric and seize the throne, is set aside when he comes upon the creatures of the Black Road at Amber’s gates. Just as he set out seeking gunpowder in Avalon but found something else along the way — the knight errant he once was long ago — he marches to Amber to find that the regicide he believed he desired was not what he would ultimately want or choose to do.

Vietnam and the 1970s

The tide had definitely turned against U.S. participation in the Vietnam War by the first years of the decade. Nixon, having seen Johnson’s presidency founder and meet an early end due to the war, initiated a draw-down of forces. Australia and New Zealand pulled out of the war in 1971. By the end of that same year, American ground forces had been withdrawn from the war effort, though involvement would drag on a few more years.

Britain, though victorious after World War I, had been left depleted and weary of war — brutal trench warfare had cost the nation more than a million lives. The Gulf of Tonkin Resolution of 1964 more or less marked the beginning of the Vietnam War in the minds of Americans, when U.S. troop strength went from 23,000 to 184,000. It had therefore gone on longer than World War I and wound up costing approximately 60,000 American lives. In America a fatigue had taken hold which was not so different from what post-Great War Britain had known.

Zelazny may have been responding to the mood of the times when portraying the enormity and senselessness of the losses witnessed, and caused, by Corwin and other princes of Amber.

From the first book:

“…ten thousand men dead in a plains battle with centaurs, five thousand lost in an earthquake of frightening proportions, fifteen hundred dead of a whirlwind plague that swept the camps, nineteen thousand dead or missing in action as they passed through the jungles of a place I didn’t recognize, when the napalm fell upon them from the strange buzzing things that passed overhead, six thousand deserting in a place that looked like the heaven they had been promised, five hundred unaccounted for as they crossed a sand flat where a mushroom cloud burned and towered beside them, eighty-six hundred gone as they moved through a valley of suddenly militant machines that rolled forward on treads and fired fires, eight hundred sick and abandoned, two hundred dead from flash floods, fifty-four dying of duels among themselves, three hundred dead from eating poisonous native fruits, a thousand slain in a massive stampede of buffalo-like creatures, seventy-three gone when their tents caught fire, fifteen hundred carried away by the floods, two thousand slain by the winds that came down from the blue hills.”

What tends to jump out from that passage (especially to readers harkening back to the ’70s):

(1) napalm dropped from aircraft on troops moving through jungles below results in a number of casualties far higher than deaths from any other cause;

(2) immediately after thousands depart for paradise, their desertion is contrasted with the hell of the detonation of a nuclear weapon;

(3) aside from deaths due to centaurs, war machines, nuclear warfare and napalm, natural disasters are responsible for the mass losses of life, yet the total taken by disaster is still dwarfed by the number slain in combat.

There is not much other commentary on war in the series. The subject of warfare is largely confined to the first two books. But there is this from the end of the sixth chapter of Nine Princes in Amber:

“As I stood on a hilltop and the evening began around me, it seemed as if I looked out over every camp I had ever stood within, stretching on and on over the miles and the centuries without end. I suddenly felt tears come into my eyes, for the men who are not like the lords of Amber, living but a brief span and passing into dust, that so many of them must meet their ends upon the battlefields of the world.”

[…to be continued in a future post…]

#the chronicles of amber #roger zelazny #vietnam war #chronicles of amber #nine princes in amber

13 notes · View notes

inamaranthinedreams · 5 years ago

Text

Even the best men in my life always lie

They say journaling is good for self healing. Nothing else seems to be helping so I figure I'll give it a shot.

13 years ago I met a man I thought was amazing. 6 years ago I finally realized he was a total piece of shit. Not only had he completely ruined my life, gaslit me at every opportunity, and made me genuinely believe I wasn't worth shit, he ended the relationship because he was fucking my best friend. At that point I realized I'd never trust another person again.

n the 2 years after my ex and I broke up, I hopped into many beds. Not so many that I don't know the approximate number, but enough that I don't know the exact. Because I didn't trust anyone, I drank a lot to numb my feelings. I went to work, I went to the bar, I fucked a guy (maybe a one night stand, maybe a couple times, depending on how bad he was in bed), and I went home. And repeat.

Four years ago I met a guy. He seemed funny and a good drinking buddy. We went out drinking a couple nights after we met, had a good night. And of course I ended up in his bed. Where else would I end up? That's when I found out he was relatively (very) inexperienced and I was the slut in comparison. Why he chose me when he could do better, I'm not sure.

That year for Halloween apparently he fell in love with me. We started dating. I didn't take it seriously, I knew he'd lose interest in me or I'd lose interest in him and we'd move on. I never cheated on him, but I "knew" things weren't going to work out. I used to post my nudes online as some sort of validation, since my parents gave me a totally fucked up idea of how women should be. Women are only here for sexual pleasure, and I needed people to tell me I was fuckable. Since I wasn't fucking other men anymore, I especially needed that attention. But he didn't like it so I agreed to stop, if he agreed to stop cruising those subreddits. Tit for tat, if you will, no pun intended. I did hold up my end of the bargain. He never held up his. I suppose in hind sight I did know, but I wanted to pretend he was a good man.

Three months later he proposed. Two years later I finally figured out he was serious and we got married. Only one year later I was pregnant (on purpose) and at 30 years old I had a good career that pays well, a husband, a baby on the way, a mortgage, and everything you're supposed to have as a white suburban woman. I think.

He loved me. I think. He doted on me and made sure I was never sad. He was never emotionally abusive the way my exes were. He cared how I felt, he would do anything to make me happy. Well, almost anything.

When I was about 3 months pregnant, he was so happy to my face about the pregnancy. But apparently under his skin this was all boiling into a mess. His anxiety was destroying him, and apparently his addiction to porn, a coping mechanism he'd had since he was 12, was his only joy in life. He would watch women get anally fucked, every single day, for several hours a day. Not even as a "means to an end" but just as a dopamine rush to make him feel better about the life he apparently didn't want. Despite "wanting" to get married and "wanting" to have a baby, the anxiety was eating him alive and he was miserable. I could no longer make him happy like porn could. Our sex life died. Our communication halted. We were never happy. My sex drive, which was already high before pregnancy, had ramped up to 11 because of all the hormones. I could have had sex every hour for the entire 9 months, even despite the morning sickness and fatigue. And he couldn't/wouldn't give it to me because all he wanted was other women.

I finally asked him to stop watching porn and seek therapy. This isn't a healthy coping mechanism as an escape to his sad life and he needs to either deal with it, or make life better. Running away from reality isn't a way to live. He agreed. At 6 months pregnant, I found out he was still lying. He wasn't watching hardcore porn anymore, he was watching girls squatting on YouTube because that "wasn't as bad" but at the same time told me he "didn't think about it." I'm not sure how you can "not think about it" when you're actively justifying why you watched that instead of PornHub. But what do I know, I'm not an addict.

At 8 months pregnant, he came home from a business trip. I found out once again, he had lied. He still was doing it and hiding it from me. He refused therapy. He "knew" he could do better.

Throughout all this, I had provided him a folder of photos and videos of me and us, for him to use at his leisure as long as it didn't impact our active sex life. Time and time again he disregarded my content in favor of women on reddit, etc. He almost never looked at me. One time he told me that he would watch porn to get excited and then use mine sometimes to finish the job. As if that's supposed to make me feel better.

2 weeks after our baby girl was cut from my belly, in an emergency c section that I actually felt because the epidural didn't work on my right side, I found out he was yet again lying. I decided that was it. Sore from the surgery and exhausted from a colicky baby, I asked for a divorce. He cried, I cried, he promised he'd go to therapy. Things would be better. He'd "do anything" for me.

Anything but temporarily stop using porn, the first four times I asked, of course.

We're six months from that day now. He swears it's better. I have, with his permission, gone through his stuff to see if he's still lying. I can't find evidence that he is a liar, the way he has been for the first four years of our relationship, but I wonder if he's just gotten better at hiding it.

So here we are. I am six months post partum. I hate my body. I hate the stretch marks and the saggy skin. Every once in a while I see my body and it occurs to me that I grew an entire person. Those stretch marks and saggy skin are battle scars. But then I see my husband's eyes land on those and I feel small and ugly and disgusting. He has never treated me this way, but the very fact that he continues to choose other women, and is willing to risk his marriage and relationship with his child just so he can peruse other women's nudes and feel a little better about his sad shitty life, to me it says I don't mean anything to him. He wants things to be better. But as far as I'm concerned he can change all he wants now, he wasn't willing to change when it really mattered.

And now when he looks at me I feel disgust. And when I look at him, I also feel disgust. I want to feel the way I used to when he would fuck me. I want to feel sexy and desired, not as just a replacement or a "you'll do" when all he really wants is his porn stars. I used to have sex with him and even his negative aspects I found endearing. Now I look at him and think, if he wants some young thick/fit little thing, why shouldn't I want a guy with a 6 pack abs and a dick the size of a 20oz Red Bull? When he's spending hours pouring over his cartoon porn with perfectly and impossibly shaped women, why shouldn't I be spending hours drooling over uncut men? If he doesn't want me, then I don't want him either.

But he says he does want me. He says he wants to be with me, emotionally and sexually, and I'm all he wants in the world. But when I asked him to make a compromise with me, just temporarily to get our relationship on track, that wasn't worth it. He wasn't willing to give up the girls who wouldn't even care enough to scoff in his direction if they saw him in real life. They were so much more important than I ever was or will be to him. How do I recover from that?

This journal has been made just so I can ramble here when things get really bad. When I'm disgusted by him and want to do myself in. When I feel like there's no hope and I need to get a divorce. Because in 6 months I have felt worse and worse about myself and at this point I am torn between feeling very proud of my personal and professional life, and just feeling like I hope I don't wake up tomorrow.

1 note · View note

funcoolchickie · 2 years ago

Text

I'm thankful President Biden has declared Monkeypox as a Public Health Emergency because it's spreading quickly and exponentially both in the US and across the world. And unfortunately not enough accurate information on it is being shared.

**Monkeypox is NOT a "gay man's disease" only affecting the gay community, as is being both stated and insinuated by several politicians and media outlets. This is wrong. It affects everyone.

Monkeypox is spread via several methods. It is spread through breathing in an infected person's spit. Moreover, I personally believe it is technically airborne. I think you'll understand why, below. It is transmitted via touching an infected person's rash or bodily fluids, clothing, bedding, or towels; touching a contaminated surface where it's known to stay alive for a long time (including on fabrics); and, with it being zoonotic, is transmissible to and from an infected pet via a bite, licks ("kisses"), touching their rash, or touching their feces or urine, or that of other feral animals (primarily rodents).

As of approximately 3 days ago there were over 7,500 cases in the US in 48 of our 50 states. This is since the first case was reported on 19 May 2022 in Boston, MA. As of today it has been detected in nearly every state across this entire country in less than 3 months! Also concerning is a report by the World Health Organization dated the end of June stating that there were more than 28,000 confirmed cases across the world with a huge majority of them (98.8%) in countries that don't normally have this virus present. I'm sure the current totals are much higher.

This is not good. We don't need another global pandemic. Please understand I'm not being an alarmist, however I know we do need to be aware of certain facts.

I will start by stating that Monkeypox has had a 3%-6% fatality rate in recent years and I don't want to be one of them! But sadly, some people will die and as of today some already have in the US just since May. In addition to the children and youth of America not having had any vaccine and so they have no immunity to it, it is known that those who are affected with the worse cases are children. Followed closely by the immunocompromised (like me).

Also viruses mutate and change and the more people infected, the higher the number of variants. Right now we have a vaccine we can use against it (Smallpox vaccine) but most of our country doesn't have it readily available. I don't believe the rest of the world does either. I don't want worse variants popping up before the vaccine we do have is distributed, but even with the President's Emergency declaration it will take time to produce and distribute it.

I don't believe I even need to mention that with everyone getting sick at once it would again overwhelm our already exhausted healthcare system and workers, and again cause other patients with medical needs unrelated to the virus to have their care either delayed or not provided at all. Nor do I believe I need to mention the financial burden from having to miss 2 weeks to 1 month of work to recover. I've personally never had a job where I could afford to miss that much work and still make ends meet. And if an employee gets sick more than once that could be catastrophic! If I was a business owner I'd also be worried about again having many workers out at the same time and for so long, and the strain it causes the remaining employees trying to hold things together. Not good scenarios.

Monkeypox is a real concern and too many are sharing stupidly wrong information. It's not just effecting gays, folks - clearly!

I'm asking you to please be safe and to use the same health precautions that you used for Covid: wear a high quality mask, wash your hands thoroughly and often, and as much as you're able to with everything "back to normal" keep your distance from others not living in your home.

Let's not go through this again. Be safe and well. Thank you for reading. ❤️🌷

(7 August 2022 rvw)

0 notes

meat-wolf · 3 years ago

Text

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. "It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust." Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. :)

0 notes

the-revenirium-blog · 7 years ago

Photo

「妈妈，爸爸，我想回家.」 "Mom, Dad, I want to go home."

2017 was the year I thought everything would be going amazing for me. I had a great relationship, supportive friends back at home, I was accepted into a college that would give me a certificate to pursue my dreams.

It wasn't very long after that I realized that it wasn't the perfect image of a life I wanted to live.

It started small, with troublesome pettiness, petty drama, expenses to be paid, bad decisions that I've made with myself, and my own selfishness that costed me my friendships and eventually, my own relationships.

I thought myself superior to the old me. That I'm better already, I can keep going, I can keep fighting. I ignored every single sign my body blared at me, I forced the energy to come and work for me. I kept going, until everything around me slowly unravelled.

I am so sorry that I wasn't a better child that made better choices.

I am so sorry that I was a selfish person that valued myself more, and neglected you, to the point you felt like you were discarded.

I am sorry that I am tired and sick and have terrible judgement.

But most of all, I am sorry, Me, that I let yourself get this way.

I am currently in my final semester of community college. With approximately 3 weeks left until my final assessment, with a full gown to sew and a portfolio to make, and an internship to apply for.

Today, 7th of May 2018, I sent in an application to drop out of college and said my goodbyes to my classmates.

"It's a shame, you only have a bit more to go!" "You're wasting time and energy! And money!" " But you were such a good student, why quit now?" "You're being a quitter!"

Those were the responses I got from various people.

Classmates who insisted I lend them my sewing machine that I paid for with my own money, or to give them my things that I so stressfully budgeted money to buy for class.People that never truly took the time to talk to me as a person, or understand what it was like, for me.

Lecturers who truly cared and listened to me, and were so sad to see me go, and wanted to hear from me personally why.

Friends from other courses who I supported today for the last time by being their first customer at their shops today, for Business Day.

People that called me a quitter, did not realize how in pain I was, having to force myself to get up every single day, to go to class, to sit down for hours to focus and sew, to struggling with basic human functions like eating and sleeping.

People that were disappointed in me, because I didn't fully finish what I started.

I am glad that I truly know which people are truly there for me at my worst, and I am very grateful for them for being around to see my best.

Saturday, two days ago, I went to class as per usual. It was a morning replacement class due to all the holidays this month, and I did not think much. Just finish my sewing, go home, shower, sleep.

It wasn't until I realized I couldn't sew anymore at all that I broke down. I couldn't focus, I considered just cutting everything and just failing the semester, but I finally adknowledged the one thought that was bothering me.

"I want to go home."

I excused myself from my class and for the first time in a year, I called my mother and said,

"妈妈，我想回家." "Mom, I want to go home."

My mother comforted me, and told me that she already knew I was at my breaking point.

"Come home. Come home to mom and dad. We'll be your shoulder to lean on, so don't cry alone anymore."

I cried and cried out there in the empty hall. My legs, covered in dried bleeding scabs and rashes, were sweating, my back hurt, my shoulders ached.

Just a few days prior, I had ended my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend as well.

My now-ex boyfriend, D, I am very, very sorry that I couldn't be the person to grow old with you. You are right, you are not growing younger, and you truly did need someone to be there for you.

But that person is not me.

You did not have to trouble yourself with my problems, or my family. You did not in fact need to send money to me at all for college or rent. You did not need to take me to the doctors, to buy me so much for my skin, because now, down to the very last, it was me that ruined everything.

At 18, I was so sure that I've found my happiness.

At 20, I am tired, depressed, and damaged, but I know that I will still find my happiness.

My depression and I have had an ongoing on-off relationship. I am aware that not many of us truly understand how it is, or how it affects us.

And that's okay. We do not truly understand it either.

For me, every single day, there is a silent voice in my head that tells me, despite all I have done, I will never be enough.

The voice tells me, my parents are disappointed in me. The voice tells me, my friends never truly cared.

The voice told me, I was truly better off not existing.

I did pretty well in ignoring that voice. I tried to be a positive presence in people's lives, in my friends' lives and my family's, changing things for the better and acknowledging my flaws. I am trying still. And I will keep trying.

But my stress did not cease. Where hence it came from,I never found out. Was it from a close minded community that I was in? Was it the negativity that I'm seeing on a day to day basis? Or was it from me?

It slowly manifested into a physical form. A physical, self-harming habit. Scratching.

A lot of my friends and family are aware, I am allergic to VARIOUS kinds of things, to the point even going out to eat is troubling. Now, after seeing a skin doctor, I have also realized I am also sensitive to heat, sweat, and dirt, and dust, and most importantly, STRESS.

"Don't stress. Your skin will get worse." "Just don't scratch it!" "Why so stress for?"

Those were the words I was told over and over. But did they truly understand how insane it drove me?

I did not even notice I had dermatillomania, or Excoriation Disorder, until I saw how much bleeding and scarring my skin was starting to get.

For those that are unfamiliar, here is a quote from Wikipedia: ["Excoriation disorder is a mental disorder characterized by the repeated urge to pick at one's own skin, often to the extent that damage is caused. Excoriation disorder is defined as "repetitive and compulsive picking of skin which results in tissue damage".

The inability to control the urge to pick is similar to the urge to compulsively pull one's own hair, i.e., trichotillomania.

Researchers have noted the following similarities between trichotillomania and excoriation disorder: the symptoms are ritualistic but there are no preceding obsessions; there are similar triggers for the compulsive actions; both conditions appear to play a role in modifying the arousal level of the subject; and the age of onset for both conditions is similar.

There is also a high level of comorbidity between those that have trichotillomania and those that have excoriation disorder. A notable difference between these conditions is that skin picking seems to be dominated by females whereas trichotillomania is more evenly distributed across genders.

Research has also suggested that excoriation disorder may be thought of as a type of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Excoriation disorder and OCD are similar in that they both involve "repetitive engagement in behaviors with diminished control" and also both generally decrease anxiety."]

Slowly my skin started bleeding and itching non stop. Even from going out to take out the trash, my skin would sweat, and then immediately result in a maniacal itching that nothing could stop. I scratched myself raw, to the point of bleeding, wearing clothes irritated my skin and gave me even more rashes and scabs, and I was constantly showering.

It did not help at all that I felt tired, fat, ugly and depressed as well.

This is my story. This is why I suddenly decided to come home.

Let it be known that I wasn't a quitter. I fought and I lost, but I didn't give up. I had fought for years, and I will continue to fight again.

I will find a way back on track. I will return stronger. But for now, I am just me. I am tired, sick and in pain.

I just want to go home and recover from all that's happened to me.

If anyone that's truly read this far, This is my message to you. Thank you for caring and thank you for being patient with yourself. Give yourself some credit and be proud. Thank you for being alive and being good to yourself. Do take care of yourself. Nobody else can.

[I am not a stranger to the dark Hide away, they say 'Cause we don't want your broken parts I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars Run away, they say No one'll love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust I know that there's a place for us For we are glorious When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen

I make no more apologies, this is me.]

妈妈，爸爸，我回家了.

This is the end of one journey, and a beginning of another.

#depression #my journey #my art #2018 art #dermatillomania #anxiety #stress #sketch #art #digital art #venting ahead #depression art #digital drawing #digital sketch

4 notes · View notes

mimahvanilla · 4 years ago

Text

𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲: 𝐌𝐲 *𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤* 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

I am never a sickly child. I rarely get colds and fevers, which explains my perfect attendance in school. But when I was in the second grade, I caught a virus and got diagnosed with Dengue. And I am here today to share to you my experience as well as give a few facts about the Dengue virus.

Transmission of dengue is done through the bite of a mosquito, but not just any mosquito. It is caused by mosquitoes from the Aedes species, particularly types of Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus. They are known to be day biters, meaning they do not bite people at night but mostly during the day. These mosquitoes also spread Zika, chikungunya, and other viruses. To describe, they are the ones who have white stripes on their legs and body. As we all know, mosquitoes love to dwell on damp areas such as ponds, canals, unclean bathrooms, and the like. It so happens that my house has a canal right next to it and you know how much I used to love to play outside. Maybe that was the reason why I got it in the first place.

At first, I started to lose my appetite. I felt really under the weather. I felt weak all over and my throat was itchy. I then developed a fever that reached up to 40°C that went on for about three days. My parents took me to the hospital where my pediatrician diagnosed me with Dengue and on the same night, we admitted to the hospital to get the best treatment possible. We were sitting on a hospital bed in the emergency room as the nurse took my vital signs. She then pulled out a needle and inserted it in my left hand. I was so scared at first I had to close my eyes. I might have cried a little bit but they said I was very brave. They then attached me to a dextrose, put me on a wheelchair and took me to my room.

It was my first time being confined in the hospital. I shared a room with a baby who has dengue like me. I forgot his name since it was such a long time. He was very adorable but very loud. He always cries and is very annoying. He later then transferred hospitals because it turns out he was misdiagnosed. After they left, we had the room all to ourselves. A mini fridge, a small bathroom with a heater, and the hospital bed where my visitors would sit and lay down on. I did not like one bit of it but I had no choice, I had to get better as soon as possible. For several times a day, nurses would knock on the door and come into my room to check my vital signs and see how I was doing. And every day, they would take blood from my fingers so they can check my platelets. They hurt a lot, but it was okay because the nurses were very nice and comforting. The struggle with being confined was taking a shower. It was difficult taking off and putting on your clothes because you have to be careful of the dextrose, and I would always shiver after I got out of the bathroom because the room was so cold. The food was okay, I guess; I enjoyed the jello’s they gave me. After about a week, I finally recovered and my doctor sent me home. I was so happy because I got to go back to school again and see my friends.

Fast forward to a few years later when I was in 6th grade, typhoon Glenda struck the city. Roofs flew, streets were wet 24/7, water sources were limited, and the power went out for 3 days straight. We struggled but we managed to survive. The consequences then hit as I was hospitalized again due to typhoid and Dengue fever.

Typhoid fever and paratyphoid fever are life-threatening illnesses caused by Salmonella serotype Typhi and Salmonella serotype Paratyphi, respectively. They are most common in parts of the world where water and food may be unsafe and sanitation is poor. The symptoms showed as I felt severe stomach pains, nausea, and diarrhea. The doctor gave me medicines and antibiotics to treat it and told me to stay hydrated. A few days later, the symptoms started to get worse. I felt so weak, my fever was so high, and even started to vomit blood. My parents did not hesitate to take me to the hospital as soon as possible. The results show that the fever I got was no ordinary fever but a breakbone fever, an acute mosquito-borne viral illness. We then discovered that I caught Dengue, again.

You might be asking, how come I got Dengue more than once. It turns out that you can be infected by the dengue virus more than once. To be exact, you can be infected by it five times in your life. This is due to the dengue virus having 5 serotypes: DENV1 through DENV5. The more you get the virus, the more dangerous it becomes. The reason it gets dangerous is because the first time you get the virus (DENV1), your body builds antibodies towards DENV1, but the next time you get DENV2, your antibodies will actually help proliferate the virus all over your body. But the good news is that you will not accumulate all serotypes anytime soon because the more common types here in the Philippines are DENV1, 2 and 3.

There are also two classic manifestations of the virus. Clinical manifestation is actually just classic dengue, and is also known as breakbone fever, and it is associated with high fever, and is normally not fatal. This is what I got diagnosed with. And the second manifestation is called the dengue hemorrhagic fever. It is more severe and is more fatal. This is like the classic dengue: breakbone fever, associated with high fever. But this has shock and hemorrhage. It is also called the dengue shock syndrome and is only present when you already have the dengue hemorrhagic fever. Forty percent of the world’s population, about 3 billion people, live in areas with a risk of dengue. Dengue is often a leading cause of illness in areas with risk. Each year, up to 400 million people get infected with dengue. Approximately 100 million people get sick from infection, and 22,000 die from severe dengue.

My experience with it was so horrible, because my body had to fight two diseases at once. In the first few days I was confined at the hospital, I was weak and pale. My platelets were so low, they had to attach me to another dextrose to my other hand just to keep my energy up. My face became so puffy that my cheeks and under eyes started to swell. Every day, nurses would take ounces of my blood to test it. I was on so many meds and antibiotics that my tastebuds started to get numb. With the help of the nurses, and my family, I slowly recovered. I slowly regained my strength by eating as much food as I can and drinking as much water possible together with the medications they prescribed me on. After 10 days, I finally recovered and got home. The moment I got back to school, everyone was glad to see me back at my feet again. And since then, I would wear mosquito patches and repellant to not experience that again.

0 notes

oldmanlillian1989 · 4 years ago

Text

Cat Spray Can Stupendous Ideas

However, it is not for cat odors, when it comes to the site of her cats, a gray tabby named Silver, was regularly beating up the urine has been shown to decrease the amount of coat should your cat and your cats have an older cat may spray its body with shampoo.Most indoor cats to spend time on your lap.One of each, for example, will require patience and understanding the triggers or taking more time with your favorite things.Giving them an alternative perch will allow you to clean your box thoroughly using the following ways:

This is especially important if you are ready to clean up using different products.The procedure is done with an infra-red monitor that checks the pans interior constantly.How can you do not...and if you don't have a faint smell or feel of it with their human companions.For indoor cats, consider Soft Paws as extra insurance, or an easy meal for the first joint of all over the surface, especially around the house regularly to pick from?Genetics can play a role in the cat, and equally important, its temperament.

In my neighborhood, we will often show those behaviors with their presence from potential predators or enemies.The basic few and cheapest ways of reducing cat allergies are, it is non-toxic and safe way of getting your cat is, ten or twenty minutes of playtime in the street, or by talking with other cats.Cats seems to be gentle around children, or tolerant of your home one more litter-box than the older female orange Tabby and a concerted approach.Pass up all day trying to distract the attacker, with something, giving you a clear indication your animal has a consistent problem, so that can be used to all animals.Thankfully however, if your cat carrier is one cause of your cat has painful urination with the crystals, and you are liable to have this problem under control and you might leave, she may make it to be found in cats.

Once you've risen it's latrine to the outer.Squeezing a fresh smell in your home and environment.Dampen the area with a clap or by talking with other members of your cat is sick or has jumped up on the carpet where he or she would like.If you have another pet cat is not totally safe as he is neutered, he may simply come to a vet would be enjoying the food, your vet about this one!Stop trying to cover up after they've finished.

Provide the cat away from your cat might suddenly start vomiting, show signs of anxiety.If your cat is on the market, a simple problem to fester, the larger more versatile and fun models.Treat that scruffy scratching post made of varied materials including wood and carpet.Powders, sprays, and drops are more likely to settle down and removes hair.Here are just as important as what they do.

Visitors or a new situation such as bed, food bowl and tray for her all the options available but some were too outrageous.Cats are naturally nocturnal and, without training, will remain so.Steps you can have fleas by the feel of it over the white foundation.While certain spray-deterrents are on its mind.Tip #4 - Aluminum foil, carpet runners placed upside down or the aggression could turn on you to aid your cat spayed or get your cat if he or she shows interest, the scratching motion several times with white vinegar.

Some cats use it if it is possible, take your homemade cat repellent.For dried in stains something more appropriate than your furniture.A cat can come and you can tell the difference between a Bengal cat, chausie and.An owner must have on your hands or a sculptured pile.If your dog's ears with a variety of natural products to clean the inside.

They can seem to know that you purchase cat litter - this herb react the most negative sense of morals and definitely do not like the liver and kidneys are responsible for up to 13kg of force.However do not like the looks and sound of a cat leash before travel.The third main component, uric acid, is the un-scented, clumping litter.Since not all cats will constantly pace around a situation in the household can also use commercial repellents as well as in under the skin.The garden can be applied as false nails would be no hygiene concerns as with any stain remover that contains ammonia your cat the various types of customers you have a little time for your home and provide it with a sponge or rag.

Cat Urine Kill Shrubs

Soak up as a way of dealing with cat urine.This may help to quickly and effectively.You can hang these and your furry little balls huddled in corners of their efficiency.You'll probably also plan to give cats quick, gentle baths work, but unfortunately most don't.Wrong size or type of cat urine along the ground for him each week will also enhance the reward-value of the pet population under control.

It is a heinous treatment since it involves cutting the end will not urinate near their food.Frankly, that depends on your kitchen sink as a rival.If your cat is actually flea excrement - a very good reason.Some cat breeds that are much less than perfect.Their eyes look so evil that it cannot speak and convey to you to learn that it is in the wild.

Benadryl and cortisone treatments can also take time - it would crouch to do it.This is what causes the strong ammonia-like odor.The exact composition can vary both between different types of litter boxes are not pulling a gun out, and it cost him a more lasting impression.The above natural recipe is an individual and will help prevent problems.With a little bit, roll around, and just act crazy which is likely to have the scratching post and holding onto them without some form of identification - like a puppy.

Carpets ~ It is big cat dung which is more likely to have more than others, but when a cat scratcher.The cat family and your cat has their own toys and activities for your cats.Unfortunately, many allergies can not get rid of him I would add spraying the cat litter, and you're ready for play or exercise at all.This should reduce shedding somewhat over time as a bladderBut this soon turned into a small injection at the exact cause.

Occasionally caused by loss of blood to congeal in the device and become permanently scared of using positive reinforcement.When another cat they will spray more than others, what cat care health is so important.Does your cat has been damaged and could harm your pets as well as a pet store to use the litter box, it could be a fairly big deal for your kitten that scratching the sofa or chair.You have to start with cheap open and spreads it all comes down to you as if he appears to be a permanent problem.After drying just use warm water and rub the shampoo out of sync, but in reality, it is for you to be on the cat's bloodstream and some sisal rope.

You'll have to be removed from the vets is advisable.Tip #2 - Give all cats whether they are playing with your pet tricks.Another issue is whether or not he really can't help it, it rolls and the spraying problem.Spraying your cat uses it, you need to make your cat flea spray and pre-heat your oven to 365.In the wild, a cat magazine, that most of us do not have to keep cats out of the opinion that a cat that was accepted for so many different methods that can produce a clean litter box or some books underneath the furniture.

How To Stop Your Cat From Peeing In The House

Secondly, a high-pitched alarm goes off, which most likely frighten her and it didn't really help.Use praise or treats to show your cat needs a little bit of trial-and-error, it can draw your cat having the surgery.- You Cat is simply a matter of time away or out of a deeper behavioural problem that your cat will not react extremely violent during the application there is no need to visit your vet about the birds?Bake the fish balls for approximately forty five minutes.Cats, unlike humans, are relatively resistant to antibiotics and ointments especially if you already have a toy for your child.

Step #3 - Break them up and deodourise the area or favorite toy in this article.If your cat has an odor remover, or spraying with a vet or have been observed to react much the same old tired stuff.Someone in Australia has developed a synthetic F3 facial pheromone found in a consistent and you'll see how far you can use to the vet's office.They will be more of the mammary as well because the bit that drives your cat to do is sit down for a toy.They recover much more independent and less prone to these bugs as dogs.

#Cat Spray Can Stupendous Ideas #How To Stop A Cat Spraying Inside

0 notes

techcrunchappcom · 4 years ago

Photo

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/covid-19-news-live-updates-the-new-york-times-14/

Covid-19 News: Live Updates - The New York Times

Here’s what you need to know:

A man suspected of having contracted Covid-19 being covered with a blanket by healthcare workers in Bergamo, Italy, in March.Credit…Fabio Bucciarelli for The New York Times

In the 10 months since a mysterious pneumonia began striking residents of Wuhan, China, Covid-19 has killed more than one million people worldwide as of Monday — an agonizing toll compiled from official counts, yet one that far understates how many have really died.

The coronavirus may already have overtaken tuberculosis and hepatitis as the world’s deadliest infectious disease. And unlike all the other contenders, it is still growing fast.

Like nothing seen in more than century, the virus has infiltrated every populated patch of the globe, sowing terror and poverty, infecting millions of people in some nations and paralyzing entire economies.

But as attention focuses on the devastation caused by halting a large part of the world’s commercial, educational and social life, it is all too easy to lose sight of the most direct human cost.

More than a million people — parents, children, siblings, friends, neighbors, colleagues, teachers, classmates — all gone, suddenly, prematurely. More than 200,000 in the United States, which has the largest total number of coronavirus deaths in the world, followed by Brazil, with over 140,000.

Those who survive Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus, are laid low for weeks or even months before recovering, and many have lingering ill effects of varying severity and duration.

Yet much of the suffering could have been avoided.

“This is a very serious global event, and a lot of people were going to get sick and many of them were going to die, but it did not need to be nearly this bad,” said Tom Inglesby, the director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security.

At the height of the first wave, places like China, Germany, South Korea and New Zealand showed that it was possible to slow the pandemic enough to limit infections and deaths while still reopening businesses and schools.

But that requires a combination of elements that may be beyond the reach of poorer countries — and that even ones like the United States have not been able to muster: wide-scale testing, contact tracing, quarantining, social distancing, mask wearing, providing protective gear, developing a clear and consistent strategy, and being willing to shut things down in a hurry when trouble arises.

Time and again, experts say, governments reacted too slowly, waiting until their own countries or regions were under siege, either dismissing the threat or seeing it as China’s problem, or Italy’s, or New York’s.

Thomas R. Frieden, a former head of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said that a major failing had been in governments’ communication with the public, nowhere more so than in the United States.

“You have standard principles of risk communication: Be first, be right, be credible, be empathetic,” he said. “If you tried to violate those principles more than the Trump administration has, I don’t think you could.”

The world now knows how to bend the curve of the pandemic — not to eliminate risk, but to keep it to a manageable level — and there have been surprises along the way.

Masks turned out to be more helpful than experts initially predicted. Social distancing on an unheard-of scale has been more feasible and effective than anticipated. The difference in danger between an outdoor gathering and an indoor one is greater than expected.

And, crucially, people are most contagious when they first show symptoms or even earlier, not days or weeks later, when they are sickest — a reversal of the usual pattern with infectious diseases. That makes preventive measures like wearing masks and swift responses like isolating and testing people for possible exposure much more important. If you wait until the problem is evident, you’ve waited too long.

Officials are particularly concerned about eight neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Queens.Credit…Mark Abramson for The New York Times

After months of promising signs in its fight against the coronavirus, New York State on Monday reported a spike in its rate of new cases, including a rise in New York City and in its northern suburbs.

The rate of positive test results in the city reached 1.93 percent, Mayor Bill de Blasio said on Monday, an increase from the 1.5 percent rate reported by the city a week before, as officials continued to warn about dangerous behavior in several communities.

The increase in the city, the one-time center of the pandemic, and some suburbs contributed to the statewide rate of approximately 1.58 percent — a jump from results reported on Sunday and in prior weeks.

Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, a third-term Democrat, said on Monday that the increase was primarily because of clusters in Brooklyn, as well as in Rockland and Orange Counties, in the Hudson Valley, saying there was “significant action” in those areas.

Officials are particularly concerned about eight neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Queens, some with large Orthodox Jewish communities, that have accounted for about one-fourth of New York City’s new cases in the past two weeks, despite representing about 7 percent of the city’s population.

On Friday, city health officials began carrying out emergency inspections at private religious schools in some of those neighborhoods, and threatened to limit gatherings or force closings of businesses or schools if there was not better compliance to social distancing requirements. The communities are celebrating Jewish high holidays through mid-October, which are marked by religious and family gatherings.

A continued rise could affect a closely watched plan to reopen the city’s schools: The mayor has said that he will automatically shut down classrooms — which are all slated to be open by Thursday — if the positivity rate exceeds 3 percent over a seven-day rolling average. The mayor has also has twice delayed the start of in-person classes for most students, and on Sunday, the union representing the city’s principals called on the state to take over the reopening effort from Mr. de Blasio.

Mr. Cuomo has previously said that reaching a 2 percent positivity rate would make him “nervous,” and that surpassing a 3 percent rate would cause “the alarm bells to go off.”

On Monday, Mr. Cuomo said that he would make 200 rapid testing machines available to schools and local governments in areas where rates were rising, saying “the key with these clusters is to jump on them quickly.”

All told, the state on Monday reported 834 new cases, out of nearly 53,000 tests, the governor said, adding the spike in the positivity rate was largely confined to 20 ZIP codes, where the rate went as high as 30 percent, in contrast with the rest of the state, where the rate remained around 1 percent.

The statewide positivity rate began to creep up over the weekend, when officials reported rates just slightly above 1 percent; hospitalizations have also risen over the last several days, according to state statistics.

Mr. Cuomo stressed that “mask compliance is important,” and urged local governments to enforce mask rules and prohibitions on large gatherings, even if residents were feeling “compliance fatigue.” On Wednesday, New York City will allow indoor dining to resume at 25 percent.

Over the summer, the state began requiring travelers from states with increasing cases to quarantine for 14 days upon their arrival in New York, though the enforcement has been lax. On Monday, Mr. Cuomo said he would sign a new executive order subjecting most travelers from other countries to the 14-day quarantine.

United States › On Sept. 27 14-day change Trend New cases 37,332 +23% New deaths 267 +2%

Where cases are highest per capita

U.S. Roundup

Police investigating the scene of a shooting in Rochester earlier this month.Credit…Joshua Rashaad Mcfadden/Getty Images

The number of homicides in 27 cities across the United States was 53 percent higher this summer than in the pre-pandemic summer of 2019, according to an updated analysis by the Council on Criminal Justice, a nonpartisan research group.

The update, covering the months of June, July and August, found that aggravated assaults also increased from last year, by 14 percent, but that many other types of crime plummeted, including residential burglaries, larcenies and drug offenses. Across the country, overall crime rates remain at or near generational lows, despite striking increases in violence in some cities.

Fluctuations in crime rates are notoriously hard to explain, but 2020 has seen two factors with potentially seismic influence: the coronavirus pandemic, which has caused mass unemployment and made the most proven types of anti-violence measures far more difficult to implement, and the killing of George Floyd in police custody in late May, which sparked nationwide protests.

The new report’s authors, Richard Rosenfeld and Ernesto Lopez, wrote that “subduing the pandemic, pursuing crime control strategies of proven effectiveness, and enacting needed police reforms will be necessary to achieve durable reductions in violent crime in our cities.”

The F.B.I reported on Monday that violent crime continued its downward trend in 2019, but that preliminary figures for 2020 show a 15 percent increase in homicides, the largest single-year increase on record.

A New York Times analysis finds that despite President Trump’s attempts to blame “Democrat cities” for failing to curb violence, homicides have increased regardless of the political party of the mayor. In three cities recently called “anarchist” by the Department of Justice — Portland, Ore., New York and Seattle — the murder rate remains quite low. Those cities were not among the top 40 American cities ranked by their projected 2020 murder rate.

And murder is not the only violent crime on the rise. The Chicago Police Department said that domestic-violence-related calls increased 12 percent during a period from the start of the year through mid-April, compared with the same time period in 2019. In other cities, including Los Angeles and New York, the police have seen a drop in calls, but the authorities have said they believed that victims were in such close quarters with their abusers that they were unable to call the police.

In other U.S. news:

After a six-month closure, the Washington Monument will reopen to the public on Thursday. The monument will be open seven days a week from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., with a new set of safety and cleaning procedures. Tickets, which must be reserved at recreation.gov, will be available starting on Wednesday.

Officials in Montana reported 412 new cases on Monday, a single-day record for the state. Daily reports of new cases have more than doubled in the last two weeks to an average of 250 a day, according to a New York Times database — shattering records and raising concerns that Montana’s hospitals could become overwhelmed. Almost half the state’s total 174 deaths from Covid-19 have come in the past month, and hospitalizations are up sharply. Some of the surge can be attributed to outbreaks in prisons and nursing homes, but state experts also point tothe recent reopening of schools and universities.

Officials in Idaho reported more than 880 new cases on Monday, a single-day record, with the possibility of more cases as counties continue to report through the evening. The previous record (681 new cases) was set on Friday.

A Maryland man has been sentenced to one year in jail and fined $5,000 for throwing two large parties in violation of the state’s ban on gatherings of more than 10 people.

Inovio Pharmaceuticals, a Pennsylvania firm whose chief executive boasted to President Trump in March that it was the world’s leader in coronavirus vaccines, said on Monday that it will delay the next stage of testing for its vaccine until addressing questions from the Food and Drug Administration.

The company said the pause is not related to any serious side effects from the first phase of testing of its vaccine, which uses a DNA technology that stimulates a person’s immune system with some of the coronavirus’s genes. No DNA-based vaccine has ever made it to market for any human disease. The company is not able to start Phase ⅔ testing but its Phase 1 trial will continue, it said.

Inovio’s pitch has long been that this genetic approach would allow for faster design and manufacturing than its competitors. But it’s now far behind the pack. More than two dozen coronavirus vaccines have made it to later testing phases than Inovio’s has.

The F.D.A. had questions about the vaccine’s “Cellectra 2000 delivery device,” which uses an electrical pulse to open skin pores in order to more consistently deliver the vaccine dose. Regulatory questions about a similar device held up clinical trials for an Inovio cancer vaccine in 2016.

The company said it plans to respond to the F.D.A.’s questions in October. After that, the agency will have 30 days to decide whether to allow the trials to proceed.

Most of the coronavirus vaccine trials have not run into safety issues. The exception is AstraZeneca’s, which was recently halted when two volunteers became seriously ill after getting its experimental vaccine. That trial is still on pause in the United States.

Negotiators resumed talks on Monday over a coronavirus relief package in a final bid to revive stalled negotiations as House Democrats unveiled a $2.2 trillion coronavirus relief bill that would provide aid to American families, businesses, schools, restaurants and airline workers.

The release of the legislation came minutes before Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California and Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury secretary, spoke on the phone Monday evening, as the pair seeks to end the impasse over another round of coronavirus. The two agreed to speak again Tuesday morning, said Drew Hammill, a spokesman for Ms. Pelosi.

The moves appeared to be the most concrete action toward another stimulus bill since negotiations stalled nearly two months ago. But the sides remain far apart on an overall price tag, and with just over a month before Election Day, lawmakers and aides in both chambers warned that the time frame for striking a deal was slim.

Absent an agreement with the administration, the House could vote as early as this week to approve the legislation, responding to growing pressure for Congress to provide additional relief and quelling the concerns of moderate lawmakers unwilling to leave Washington for a final stretch of campaigning without voting on another round of aid. But at roughly $1 trillion more than what Mr. Mnuchin has signaled the White House is willing to consider, the package is likely just a starting point, all but guaranteed to be rejected by the Republican majority in the Senate should the House pass it in its current form.

Democrats maintained a provision that would revive a lapsed $600 enhanced federal unemployment and another provision that would send a second round of $1,200 stimulus checks to Americans. And some measures were either added or expanded: $225 billion for schools and $57 billion for child care, an extension of an expiring program intended to prevent the layoffs of airline workers through March 31 and the creation of a $120 billion program to bolster ailing restaurants.

Students at Hillsborough High School in Tampa, Fla. waited in line to have their temperature checked before entering the building in August. C.D.C. data shows that the virus is more common in teenagers than younger children.Credit…Octavio Jones/Getty Images

The rate of infections with the coronavirus in adolescents aged 12 to 17 years is about twice that in children aged 5 to 11 years, according to an analysis released Monday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The finding is based on a review of 277,285 confirmed cases in children from March to September, when most schools in the nation offered only remote learning or were closed.

Children often have mild symptoms, if any at all, so some researchers have suggested that the low numbers of confirmed cases in children result from a lack of testing.

The number of children tested increased to over 320,000 in mid-July from 100,000 on May 31. By July, the incidence of infected children had risen to 37.9 per 100,000 from 13.8.

Along with other evidence about the incidence of coronavirus infections in those under age 19, the new figures suggest “that young persons might be playing an increasingly important role in community transmission,” the authors wrote.

The number of tests and the incidence of infections decreased after July, but may again be rising, the researchers added.

The number of children infected during the study period varied by age. The weekly incidence among adolescents was 37.4 per 100,000, compared with 19 per 100,000 among younger children.

Children who had underlying conditions were more likely to become severely ill, the analysis also found. Among school-aged children who were hospitalized, admitted to an intensive care unit, or who died, 16 percent, 27 percent and 28 percent, respectively, had at least one underlying medical condition, the researchers reported.

Deaths among children were rare, but Black and Hispanic children were more likely to be hospitalized or admitted to an I.C.U., the C.D.C. reported.

Karla Monterroso, 39, has been debilitated by Covid-19 symptoms since March. Credit…Rozette Rago for The New York Times

They caught the coronavirus months ago and survived it, but they are still stuck at home, gasping for breath. They are no longer contagious, but some still feel so ill that they can barely walk around the block, and others grow dizzy trying to cook dinner. Month after month, they rush to the hospital with new symptoms, pleading with doctors for answers.

As the coronavirus has spread through the United States over the past seven months, infecting at least seven million people, a subset of them are suffering from serious, debilitating and mysterious effects of Covid-19 that last far longer than a few days or weeks.

“Before this, I was a weight lifter, kayaker, hiker, white-water rafter,” said Karla Monterroso, 39, who was living and working in the San Francisco Bay Area when she caught the coronavirus in March. She has been sick for going on 200 days.

“I can’t do anything right now, physically, without harming myself,” she said.

Patients wrestling with alarming symptoms many months after first becoming ill — they have come to call themselves “long-haulers” — are believed to number in the thousands in the United States, including many young people who were healthy before being infected. Their symptoms can span a wide range, including piercing chest pain, deep exhaustion or a racing heart.

The New York Times asked four long-haulers to describe their experiences in their own words.

Suman Das, 13, waited with his father to load bricks this month in the North Parganas district of West Bengal, in eastern India.Credit…Atul Loke for The New York Times

In many parts of the developing world, school closures have put children on the streets. Families are desperate for money. Children are an easy source of cheap labor. While the United States and other developed countries debate the effectiveness of online schooling, hundreds of millions of children in poorer countries lack computers or the internet and have no schooling at all.

United Nations officials estimate that at least 24 million children will drop out and that millions could be sucked into work. Ten-year-olds are now mining sand in Kenya. Children the same age are chopping weeds on cocoa plantations in West Africa. In Indonesia, boys and girls as young as 8 are painted silver and pressed into service as living statues who beg for money.

In southern India, an 11-year-old boy, Rahul, would be a fine addition to any classroom. But with his school closed because of the virus, he currently finds himself part of the swarm of children who pour into the street from his housing project, bound for another day rummaging garbage dumps in search of recyclable plastic. It pays pennies an hour.

“I hate it,” said Rahul.

The surge in child labor could erode the progress achieved in recent years in school enrollment, literacy, social mobility and children’s health.

“All the gains that have been made, all this work we have been doing, will be rolled back, especially in places like India,” said Cornelius Williams, a high-ranking UNICEF official.

A restaurant owner removed chairs and tables on a terrace in Marseille on Sunday. All bars, restaurants and cafes in the city and its neighbor, Aix-en-Provence, were ordered to shut down for 15 days, sparking an outcry.Credit…Daniel Cole/Associated Press

The longstanding antagonism that pits Paris, the occasionally overbearing French capital, against Marseille, its sunnier, more rambunctious rival on the Mediterranean coast, has found a new battleground: the coronavirus.

Politicians and businesses in Marseille and its neighbor, Aix-en-Provence, are furious since the government ordered all bars, cafes and restaurants in those two cities — and nowhere else in mainland France — closed for 15 days starting on Sunday evening, to counter rising Covid-19 hospitalizations in the region.

“It’s a catastrophe, we are all anticipating permanent closures,” said Laurent Ceccarini, the owner of two restaurants, both a short walk from the Old Port in Marseille.

In the center of Marseille, a city of over 800,000 residents, French television on Monday showed some shuttered cafes and others that had briefly flouted the restrictions — until patrolling police officers calmly but sternly asked coffee-sipping customers to leave the sun-drenched terraces.

National authorities and some local health officials say the closures are a painful but necessary brake to prevent hospitals in both cities from being overwhelmed.

But some opponents of the targeted shutdown say it was imposed, with little warning, by vindictive government officials who want to punish Marseille’s rebel streak, which in recent months has coalesced around the figure of Didier Raoult, an eminent microbiologist from the city. His contrarian stance — including a claim, rejected by other scientists, that common drugs can cure Covid-19 — has endeared him to Marseille and its political class.

Officials are mounting protests and legal challenges against the new measures. One even said that the municipal police, ignoring government instructions, would not issue fines for establishments that broke the rules.

People unfold a banner written in Italian and German as protesters from ”No Mask” movements, Covid deniers movements, anti-5G movements and anti-vaccination movements gather for a protest against the government’s health policy in Rome in early September.Credit…Vincenzo Pinto/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Growing numbers of Europeans are dismissing the threat of the coronavirus as media hype and sometimes embracing conspiracy theories, as the virus takes a second spin around the continent.

The sentiment echoed that of thousands of unmasked protesters who packed Trafalgar Square in the center of the city on Saturday, and a week earlier, rallying against Britain’s coronavirus restrictions. Many called the pandemic a hoax — even as the global death toll neared a million.

“Take off your mask” was freshly scrawled across an already-graffitied door alongside a strip of houses on London’s Portobello Road.

In Berlin, Brussels, Dublin and Paris, similar gatherings have gone ahead in recent weeks as coronavirus cases are again rising across much of Europe. But with health experts warning that a second wave has already arrived in some places and with many governments moving to reintroduce restrictions, the ranks of those dismissing the dangers of the virus and others calling it a government-led hoax have swelled.

Science has long shown that wearing a mask can prevent a person from spreading airborne illness, and new research suggests that it also protects the person wearing it. But protesters remain unconvinced.

In France, where infections have skyrocketed with a daily average of 12,000 new cases reported over the past week, critics have questioned the effectiveness of masks and new measures to control the spread, while others have urged people to ignore the government’s guidance entirely.

In Germany, there has been a growing and vocal number of German QAnon supporters, who contend that powerful players behind the scenes are using the virus to control the masses.

And in Slovakia, which on Friday recorded its highest number of new daily cases for a third day in a row, the country’s Ministry of Health this summer appointed a specialist to fight disinformation about the pandemic.

People who do not self-isolate in England will now face fines of up to 10,000 pounds, or almost $13,000, as the nation battles a second coronavirus wave.

As of Monday, it is illegal for those who test positive for the virus or have come into contact with a positive case to not quarantine for 14 days. The fines begin at £1,000 but could increase to £10,000 for especially egregious or repeated offenses. The government said it would begin offering a payment of £500 to lower-income residents who cannot work while isolating.

In addition, about two-thirds of the population in Wales will be under lockdown restrictions as of Monday evening. The rules largely ban nonessential movement outside of local areas.

The new rules come as Britain faces a surge in cases and what Prime Minister Boris Johnson called a “perilous turning point.” Earlier this month, Mr. Johnson announced a raft of new restrictions, including bans on most gatherings over six people and closing times of 10 p.m. for pubs and restaurants.

Britain recorded 5,692 new cases on Sunday, and the seven-day daily average is above 5,800, the highest since the pandemic began. There have been at least 434,900 confirmed cases of coronavirus in Britain, and as of Monday morning, nearly 42,000 people had died.

The government has not ruled out the possibility of a second national lockdown or one for the city of London. Britain has been using local lockdowns to try to control the spread of the virus.

“We must do all we can to avoid going down that road again,” Mr. Johnson said last week of a second national lockdown. “But if people don’t follow the rules we have set out, then we must reserve the right to go further.”

An uproar over precisely who faces restrictions has flared after The Times of London reported Monday morning that Parliament’s bars were exempt from the 10 p.m. curfew because they provide food and drink for a workplace. By late morning, that position seemed to have changed: “Alcohol will not be sold after 10 p.m. anywhere on the parliamentary estate,” a government spokesman said.

A new cloud of uncertainty hangs over the November election in Texas, as legal battles mount over how and when voters will cast their ballots because of the pandemic.

The Texas Supreme Court is weighing whether to delay the start of early voting, which had been scheduled to begin in two weeks, while it deals with questions raised by Republican lawmakers about whether voting could legally start that soon.

And a federal judge has temporarily blocked Texas from getting rid of straight-ticket voting, saying that doing so would lengthen wait times and worsen congestion at the polls. “Forcing Texas voters to stand in longer lines and increasing their exposure to a deadly virus burdens the right to vote,” wrote U.S. District Judge Marina Garcia Marmolejo of Laredo.

The Texas attorney general, Ken Paxton, said the state would appeal the decision.

In a state known for unusually long ballots, the century-old practice of straight-ticket or one-punch voting has been popular. It allows a voter to select a party’s entire slate with one ballot mark, instead of having to make separate marks for each race. About two-thirds of Texas voters used the straight-ticket option in the 2018 general election.

The Republican-dominated Legislature passed a law eliminating the option for this year, with proponents arguing that doing so would cause voters to become better informed and would bring Texas in line with most other states. Critics of the step, including the Democratic Party’s congressional campaign committees, sued the state, saying that eliminating the practice would have a discriminatory impact on Black and Hispanic Texans, who use it more than other voters do.

A victim of the coronavirus in New Delhi last month.Credit…Adnan Abidi/Reuters

India’s coronavirus caseload has surpassed six million, the country’s health ministry announced Monday, as infections continued to grow across the South Asian country of 1.3 billion people.

India has the world’s second-highest caseload after the United States and has recorded at least 95,540 deaths, including 1,039 deaths in the past 24 hours. The country has recorded an average of 83,000 new cases a day for the past week, down from more than 90,000 cases earlier in the month.

At least 76,000 police and paramilitary forces personnel in India have been infected by the virus, with at least 400 deaths, the local media reported on Monday.

During his monthly radio address over the weekend, Prime Minister Narendra Modi renewed his appeal for people to wear face masks when outside their homes.

Credit…Cornell Watson for The New York Times

Despite years of progress, Black people continue to be underrepresented in science and engineering.

Whereas more than 13 percent of the United States’ population identifies as Black or African-American, Black people make up less than 7 percent of students who earn bachelor’s degrees in science or engineering fields and less than 5 percent of people granted doctorates in microbiology each year, according to the National Science Foundation.

The number of Black scientists has “been largely stagnant over the past decade,” said Johnna Frierson, the assistant dean of graduate and postdoctoral diversity and inclusion at the Duke University School of Medicine. In some fields, representation has even begun to decline — a trend that has worried experts. “There’s something in the system that is not optimized in order for us to continue diversifying in the way we hope to,” Dr. Frierson said.

A former virologist, she will participate in a panel on Monday as part of Black in Microbiology Week, the latest in a series of virtual events highlighting Black scientists in a variety of disciplines.

The event will feature seven days of talks, panels and online discussions under the microbiology umbrella, including the coronavirus, and address disparities in medicine, education and career advancement.

LaNell Williams, a member of Black in Microbiology’s programming team and a Ph.D. student at Harvard University, studies physics and virology, straddling two fields in which Black women are extraordinarily scarce.

During her time at Harvard, she has dealt with colleagues who have touched her hair without permission, dismissed her admission to her graduate program as affirmative action and used racial slurs in her presence. Over the years, she said, “I’ve gotten used to people not expecting much of me when I walk into a room.”

Adm. Brett P. Giroir, a member of the White House coronavirus task force, displaying a rapid antigen test at the White House on Monday.Credit…Tom Brenner for The New York Times

President Trump announced at the White House on Monday a plan to distribute 150 million coronavirus tests — rapid antigen tests that will expand the ability to detect infection, but that also tend to be less accurate — purchased by the federal government to states, tribes and other jurisdictions in the coming months.

The tests, a product called BinaxNOW manufactured by Abbott Laboratories, do not require specialized laboratory equipment and can yield results within 15 minutes, based on a quick and relatively painless swab that shallowly samples the nostrils. Adm. Brett P. Giroir, a member of Mr. Trump’s coronavirus task force, demonstrated the administration of one of the tests from a lectern in the Rose Garden.

Governors of some states, including New Jersey and Connecticut, announced on Twitter just before Mr. Trump’s news conference that they expected to receive thousands of the tests within coming weeks, and millions by year’s end. Some 6.5 million of those tests would ship this week, Admiral Giroir said.

The tests, which were given an emergency greenlight from the Food and Drug Administration in August, are cleared only for use in people with symptoms of Covid-19, and must be administered by, or in the presence of, a trained health care professional. Such tests are intended for use, according to Abbott, within the first seven days of when a person starts to feel ill. Testing in people who don’t have symptoms is thus considered off-label use — something the company was not required to submit data for to get their test approved.

The test is designed to look for antigens, or pieces of coronavirus proteins. Such tests tend to be less accurate than laboratory tests, most of which rely on a time-intensive but very reliable technique called P.C.R. Abbott has said that its test has been able to achieve results that mirror P.C.R. testing more than 97 percent of the time in the lab. But the longer a person waits, the worse the Abbott test performs. And experts have said those numbers will likely fall if the test is used outside of its target population.

“This is, it was said by Republicans and Democrats alike earlier, this is a game changer,” said Gov. Tate Reeves of Mississippi, a Republican, at the White House news conference, adding that the kits would allow teachers in his state to be tested more frequently.

Some have argued that frequent testing — perhaps on a weekly or even near-daily basis — could help compensate for the higher false negative rates of antigen tests. Such a feat, however, would require an even higher volume of tests than announced by the White House on Monday.

“I’m happy that they are trying to invest in technologies that would expand the number of tests that could be done in the U.S., and in particular, trying to signal demand for these rapid tests is useful,” said Jennifer Nuzzo, an epidemiologist at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. “That said, 150 million tests is really a very small drop in the bucket considering how these tests are envisioned to be used.”

She added that “these tests haven’t been evaluated in people without symptoms. Certainly some clinicians may be inclined to use things off label. That doesn’t mean we understand how they will perform in people without symptoms.”

A number of experts have criticized the fast and frequent testing approach as logistically impractical, and worry that in certain populations where the virus is scarce, false positives could end up outnumbering true positives, compromising public trust in tests.

More than 100 million coronavirus tests of various approaches have been conducted across the United States, with nearly 850,000 conducted each day. But these numbers still fall short of the millions per day some experts say are needed to adequately assess the virus’s true prevalence in the population, and help keep outbreaks in check.

New cases have been trending steadily upward across the country, to around 43,000 daily over the last week as of Sunday, though they remain far below their peak levels from mid-summer. The Upper Midwest and Mountain West regions have struggled in recent days, with North Dakota, South Dakota, Wisconsin and Utah reporting the most recent cases per capita.

About 750 deaths were being reported each day over the last week as of Sunday, more than in early summer but far fewer than in the spring. The problems in the Midwest and West have been offset somewhat by relatively few cases in the Northeast, as well as sustained progress in populous states like Florida and California that were hit hard in June and July.

Mr. Trump said the tests will be distributed first to vulnerable populations. Among these groups will be those living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities, as well as those at historically Black colleges and universities and tribal nation colleges.

Authorities in North Dakota are trying to ease concerns over hospital capacity as the state grapples with the country’s steepest current surge in coronavirus cases.

Relative to the size of its population, North Dakota has reported more new cases in the last week — 363 per 100,000 — than any other state, according to tracking by The New York Times. (Neighboring South Dakota is second, at 322 per 100,000.) So far, the state has reported 234 coronavirus-related deaths, including four on Sunday.

North Dakota state health officials met in Bismarck with the leaders of two large hospital systems over the weekend, following news reports that hospitals in the state were so crowded with Covid-19 patients that they were deferring some elective procedures and putting Covid-19 patients in emergency-room areas for lack of beds.

Following the meeting, Dr. Michael LeBeau of Sanford Health, which operates hospitals in several states including North Dakota, said in a statement that the hospital system intended to announce plans later this week to increase bed capacity in Bismarck.

The number of active coronavirus hospitalizations in the state has nearly doubled, with 105 as of Sunday, compared with 57 two weeks ago. While North Dakota’s official figures suggest that there is still ample capacity in the state as a whole, some say that the stress on hospitals is growing acute in some areas. The leaders of Essentia Health warned last week in a statement that its hospital in Fargo was “at or near capacity.”

Gov. Doug Burgum, a Republican, is also dealing with criticism of his reluctance to issue a statewide mask mandate and his move to rescind a quarantine order for close contacts of people who test positive for the coronavirus.

The state’s interim health officer, Dr. Paul Mariani, resigned on Friday after Governor Burgum rescinded the quarantine order. Dr. Mariani was the third person to hold the position since the start of the pandemic.

Unemployed workers wait for help to file insurance claims in Oklahoma in July.Credit…Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times

Not only are businesses shedding workers, with America’s unemployed numbering roughly 13.6 million, but employers are also cutting expenses like health coverage, and projections of rising numbers of uninsured have grown bleak.

Tens of millions of people could lose their job-based insurance by the end of the year, said Stan Dorn, the director of the National Center for Coverage Innovation at Families USA, a consumer group in Washington, D.C. “The odds are we are on track to have the largest coverage losses in our history,” he said.

While estimates vary, a recent Urban Institute analysis of census data says at least three million Americans have already lost job-based coverage, and a separate analysis from Avalere Health predicts some 12 million will lose it by the end of this year. Both studies highlight the disproportionate effect on Black and Hispanic workers.

Many businesses have tried to keep their workers insured during the pandemic. Employers relied on government aid, including the Paycheck Protection Program authorized by Congress to ease the economic fallout, to pay for premiums through the spring and summer.

Government funding appears to have “prevented the economic crisis from becoming a coverage crisis right away,” said Leemore S. Dafny, a professor at Harvard Business School and one of the authors of a report last month looking at the pandemic’s effect on small business.

Describing those employers as “the proverbial canary in the coal mine,” the researchers say there could be significant coverage losses if insurers and lawmakers fail to act in the coming months. Nearly a third of small businesses surveyed in late June said they were not sure they could keep paying premiums beyond August, according to the report.

A checkpoint along a residential block advising residents to stay at home in Yangon, Myanmar, on Saturday.Credit…Ye Aung Thu/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

The strict stay-at-home order issued by Myanmar last week for its largest city, Yangon, barred residents from traveling from any of its 44 townships to another. There are some exceptions, such as for police officers, emergency workers and doctors.

But one group not given special status to cross township boundaries is the news media. That includes reporters, photojournalists and the drivers of newspaper delivery trucks. The exclusion prompted protests Monday from journalists and news vendors alike.

“How can we stay at home while we need to cover the news as videojournalists?” said U Wai Yan, a correspondent with Xinhua News. “If the people do not get the true news, then there might be lots of rumors, and these are toxic for people.”

With cases of the coronavirus soaring, the government has issued stay-at-home orders for Yangon, a city of seven million people. It issued similar restrictions in Rakhine State, where the first major outbreak occurred, and most recently for three townships in Mandalay, a city of one million.

Myanmar, which was ruled for decades by the military, is one of the poorest nations in Southeast Asia, and doctors say that its underfunded medical system would be quickly overwhelmed if the virus is not contained.

The number of reported cases has skyrocketed over the past month to nearly 11,000, with 226 deaths. But the rate of testing in Myanmar is among the lowest in the world and the number of cases is likely much higher.

On Sunday, the government issued a requirement that anyone seeking an exception to the travel restrictions must register online. But it included no category for members of the media.

“I would say the government does not understand the importance of independent private media,” said U Myint Kyaw, secretary of the Myanmar Press Council.

The council, which seeks to protect the media’s interests, has appealed to the government to provide an exemption so that reporters can cover the news and newspapers can be delivered.

Critics said the restrictions on movement would make it more difficult for news organizations to cover Myanmar’s national election, which is scheduled for Nov. 8.

The main opposition party argues that holding the election in the middle of a pandemic favors the ruling party of Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, the country’s civilian leader, and has called for it to be postponed. Election officials have rejected a delay.

Sonny Swe, the founder and chief executive of the influential magazine Frontier Myanmar, said journalists must have sufficient freedom of movement so they can cover the election, the health crisis and other significant events.

“I can understand the restrictions and necessary measures for the sake of public health,” he said. “But the media should be considered an essential business.”

A 61-year-old Afghan man died on Sunday in Greece, becoming the first resident of a Greek migrant reception facility to die of the virus. The man, a father of two, died in an Athens hospital. He had been living in the Malakasa camp near the city, a Greek Migration Ministry official said, adding that his two children have been tested and are isolated within the camp. Malakasa is one of nine migrant reception facilities on the mainland that are locked down because of virus outbreaks.

A cruise ship carrying more than 1,500 people was turned back from the Greek island of Milos in the Aegean Sea after 12 crew members tested positive for the virus, a Greek Shipping Ministry official said. The Mein Schiff 6, which sails under the flag of Malta, left Crete on Sunday and was off the coast of Milos early on Monday when the test results were released, the official said.

The municipal government in Beijing announced new procedures to allow medical personnel to bypass their bosses in reporting health emergencies directly to hotlines and government agencies. The rules are supposed to protect whistle-blowers’ identities and shield them from any retaliation. The goal, although not mentioned by the Beijing authorities, appears to be to prevent any repeat of the slow response last winter to the emergence of the coronavirus in Wuhan, China. The ophthalmologist who sounded the alarm there on social media, Dr. Li Wenliang, was called in by medical officials and the police and forced to sign a statement denouncing his warning; he later died of the disease.

The next Group of 20 summit meeting, which was scheduled to be held in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, will take place virtually on Nov. 21 and 22, the kingdom said in a statement on Monday. Saudi Arabia, which holds the group’s rotating presidency, also hosted an emergency virtual summit meeting in March in response to the pandemic.

#covid #World

0 notes