#i just finished editing it and good god was it longer than what y'all will ever see

[tragically-jane-doe]

Sometimes I just think about what would've happen if Karnak sent everyone back

Ocean could have gone to a big name school but was actually afraid to, she went to community college with constance I don't think she would go towards something that helps people one on one but something where she can help from afar i.e that bitch is going to school to become a eco lawyer, I don't know if she would stick with it or have a crisis midway thru it and look into other fields, she has a lot of difficulty finding herself in relationships but sooner or later Constance just says they're dating and she asks zero questions. She gives the vibe of the baddie bitch who ends up with a by circumstance kid (probably some really distance relative dies and ocean not having a lot of family the kid ends up in her care)

Noel most definitely will be in uranium for a long time he'll get a bartender gig In his spare time he will write the most heartbreaking books like you read it in one sitting ugly crying it'll take years but he'll end up writing a best seller he'll be on talk shows it will be made into shows/movies/plays(he also writes super smutty raunchy toe curling novels also under a fake name), He seems like a forever kinda bitch so I think he would only ever have 1 serious relationship and a handful of hookups. Him and his hubs will probably wander around Europe for a couple years. He's very 50/50 on kids he can see why they're annoying and he can see why people have em

Mischa I'm going catfish Talia for this one. He'll fly back to Ukraine to be with her and she'll ghost him he'll never get closer he'll think something awful happend to her and even when he takes it to the police nothing will come from it, he'll go back to uranium and be roommates with Noel probably be in a slump for awhile, he's going to keep doing rap probably starts doing a bit more traditional Ukraine folk music one of which will become a TikTok sound and becomes viral, he won't end up Arianna grande famous but he will be well known He'll end up questioning his sexuality a bit he'll come to the conclusion that he's attracted to whoever he's attracted too and that's enough for him, it'll take awhile for him to start dating again he's gonna have a few handfuls of short relationships and after awhile of living with noel he would just wake up and realize one day that he's head over heels deeply in love with that man it takes awhile but after some miscommunication and hijinks they end up together. He definitely wants 5 kids minimum he's going to be THAT dad the dad that's going to dress up as a fairy princess for tea partys,learn everything about baseball (or any other sport) if his kids are interested in it, all one of his kids have to do is show big puppy dog eyes and a pout and the man will fold like a wet napkin,he'll support anything his kids put their minds too, he's also the dad throwing down in the stands his kids soccer game cus another dad was talking shit, he's afraid of very little i.e his kids...

Ricky stays in uranium he'll share a apartment with constance for a bit, this boy has been writing warrior cat fanfic since he was 10 after finishing his 2millon word fanfic he starts working as a website/product designer until a small publisher finds his warrior cat fan fic and gets in contact saying change a few things he could publish it, he thinks along time on it until Ocean forces her way onto his Google doc back up of it and starts editing it herself so she can bully him into publishing it... Which she successfully does... It ends up being like game of thrones but better. Penny and him end up together like RIGHT after they all come back from "death".. She goes to furry cons with him (he's a furry she likes how creative everyone is) they end up having a army of cats and and foster children

Constance goes to community college with Ocean. She goes into politics because she love her Small Town™ but sees ways to make it better she ends up running for mayor, she wins by a landslide because the man she's running against isn't even from there and looks down his nose a lot at all uranium natives. She always wanted one of those big (invite the entire town almost) themed weddings and all Ocean wanted was a elopement with only them they met in the middle and had a small(only immediate family and friends) theme wedding

Penny as soon as she's 18 she convinces the courts that she should have custody of Ezra. She works her ass off for him and she also goes to night school to become a mortician. She loves the nitty gritty bits of the human body the grosser the better for her She puts a lot of care into prepping the body. Her and Ricky actually don't end up living together until way into their 30s. They decide not to have a biological kids. Penny has always loved kids but the idea of pregnancy is terrifying and after her experience in foster care her and Ricky end up fostering kids of all ages and are very big on the reunification of family's if possible and work very hard with the kids and parents and social workers. They also foster cats Penny is on 4 different allergy medication and she is having a blast naming the kittens

[delphi-dreamin]

Pact Marks

A/N: Oh my god, y'all. I can't believe this is finally done. I straight up was not having a good time trying for the past like two weeks to finish this chapter! But I kicked my executive dysfunction's ass today and pounded the last bit out! (Pun intended)

Word count: 4.2k (I don't have a favorite or anything...)

NSFW 🔞

Pairing: Lucifer x Delphi

Warnings: breeding(?), fem!MC, biting, so much game dialogue

Please let me know if I need to tag something else! I'm new to this game.

Pt 1: Mammon | Pt 2: Levi | Pt 3: Beel | Pt 4: Asmo

Pt 5: Satan | Pt 6: Belphie

Part 7: Lucifer

Delphi wanders the halls of the House of Lamentation, taking in the warmth of the hardwood beneath her bare feet, the stillness of the air in the deserted corridors, and the weight of hundreds of years of history seeping through the walls. She’ll miss this place when she’s back in the human world. Honestly, she doesn’t want to go back. She went from having a few acquaintances she kept at arm’s length to having a family in just one short year.

She runs her fingertips along the wainscoting in the stairwell, the cool stone as familiar as her own skin now. She looks up at the paintings on the walls with a sad smile; even after a year, she still hasn’t seen them all. The stone beneath her feet sucks the warmth out of her, causing her to shiver. This is why she doesn’t usually take this staircase barefoot, but tonight it was unavoidable.

Making her way to the first floor, she frowns. Music floats through the air from somewhere nearby, but it’s muffled enough that she can’t quite place the melody. At this hour, there’s two rooms in the house it could be coming from. She sets off in the direction of the library, her feet carrying her there without her realizing she’d made a decision as to which room she’d try first.

As she steps inside, she realizes her subconscious was correct. The door to Lucifer’s study is ajar, and the melody she'd heard in the entrance hall is coming from inside. She wants to investigate, to see what exactly the music is, but she realizes as she approaches the door exactly who would be listening to music from the study. Still, her feet carry her almost against her will to the open door, pausing just at the threshold.

“The door’s open,” a deep voice that she knows all too well calls from within.

Delphi enters the study, stopping just inside the door to await further invitation.

“It sounds like quite the party up in the attic,” Lucifer says from one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. He looks more relaxed than Delphi’s ever seen him, glass of what she can only assume is Demonus in hand, a light pink blush dusting his cheeks.

“And thanks to the fact that everyone else is busy up there,” he continues,” I get to stay here and enjoy my music in peace.”

He gestures for her to come in, so Delphi does, approaching the other chair and leaning on the arm. The melody is gorgeous, a full orchestra lilting and wandering through some far-off land. It seems so familiar.

“What is this you’re listening to?” Delphi asks, still unable to quite place where she knows the music from.

“It’s nice, don’t you think?” Lucifer asks with a rare smile. “This is cursed vinyl edition of The Tale of the Seven Lords soundtrack, which you managed to borrow from Levi for me.”

Delphi nods, understanding now where she’d heard the music before. It had been during her TSL marathon with Mammon that she’d first heard it.

“Is it okay if I listen to it with you?” she asks.

Lucifer smirks. “You already are. But if you mean that you’d like to stay here with me longer, then of course, you’re welcome to.”

Delphi rolls her eyes, but moves around the armchair to sit, curling up with her legs underneath her. She watches the fire crackling away in the fireplace, every now and then popping and throwing embers into the air. As the music washes over her, she finds her mind wandering. It’s her last night in the Devildom. She’d said her goodbyes to everyone, spending as much time with them all individually as she could. All but the eldest. She turns her gaze away from the fire to look at him, only to find his eyes already on her.

“It was in this very room that I selected you for our exchange program,” he muses before taking another sip from his glass. “When I first welcomed you here, I was only doing it for Diavolo. I figured that if you managed to survive a year here without incidents, that was really all I could ask for. And even if things didn’t go as planned, as long as I could keep you from getting eaten by any of the lower-level demons, everything would be all right.”

Delphi turns to him fully, resting her elbows on the arm of the chair and her chin in her hands. She wouldn’t dare say it aloud, but she loves listening to Lucifer talk. When his voice is soft like this, she can almost imagine he actually likes her.

“That’s what I thought,” he chuckles. “But I somehow managed to choose a human who’s such a magnet for trouble that it almost defies belief, wouldn’t you say?”

She feels her face heat up, sure that her cheeks are cherry red. She wasn’t that much of a troublemaker, was she?

“There were times I thought that I’d made a mistake by choosing you.”

“How about now?” Delphi asks, her voice smaller than she’d like. After a year of living with him, surely she shouldn’t be getting this nervous? Her mouth goes dry and her heart pounds in her chest. What would she do if his answer was yes, he did make a mistake by bringing her here? Would it even matter? She’s leaving the next day.

And why does that thought hurt so badly?

“What do you think? I’d say you know the answer.” Lucifer replies with a smirk. He pauses, gazing at the fire. “I made the right choice in selecting you for the program. You’ve kept me quite entertained over the past year. In fact, I think it’s probably the most entertained I’ve been in my whole life.”

“Well, I’m glad I kept you entertained,” Delphi mumbles, attempting to hide her blush in the sleeve of her hoodie. She turns back to the fireplace, hoping that watching the dancing flames will calm her racing heart.

They sit in silence for a while, listening to the crackling flames and the cursed vinyl. Delphi’s racing heart does calm as she watches the flames behind their grate, occasionally spitting sprays of embers into the flue. Eventually, she finds her gaze wandering back to her right, where Lucifer sits observing her.

“So, Delphi,” he begins, standing up to fetch another bottle of Demonus from his impressively full shelf, “have you done all you set out to do here in the Devildom? No unfinished business? No loose ends?”

Delphi swallows hard. This is her chance. She says in as steady a voice as she can muster, “I haven’t made a pact with you, Lucifer.”

He stills, one hand on the bottle he’d chosen. Delphi slowly unfolds herself and rises from her chair, suddenly very aware that this is one of the strongest demons in the Devildom and he doesn’t obey orders from anyone but the demon prince himself. Why would he make a pact with her?

“A pact, you say?” he repeats, voice dangerously low. “I see. You’ve made pacts with all of my brothers, which just leaves me.”

He turns around to face her, eyes glowing red and lips curled in a sadistic smile. Delphi feels like a deer that’s just met face-to-face with the predator that would make it its meal. She’s frozen to the spot as he rounds on her, looking down his perfectly straight nose at her.

“Do you really want to make a pact with me? Truly?” he murmurs, grabbing her chin between his thumb and index finger and forcing her face upwards to look in his eyes. “I don’t know how my brothers felt about making a pact with you, but I am more than a name to be crossed off of your list. I can’t have you lumping me together with everyone else. That won’t do.”

Before she can comprehend what’s happening, her field of vision is completely filled with night-black wings. Something in her abdomen twists seeing Lucifer’s demon form once more, maybe for the last time. She’s always found him dangerously beautiful in this form, even after he tried to kill her twice. Even now, though she can tell he’s trying to intimidate her, she can’t help wanting to stare. Instead she holds his gaze, not even flinching.

“You aren’t going to run?” he asks, eyes wide. “You’ve certainly got guts, don’t you? I’ve always found that aspect of you irritating.”

Delphi’s gaze falls, her heart dropping into her stomach. Irritating.

He takes her chin in his grasp once more, lifting her face up to meet his gaze. With a warm smile, he continues, “But as irritating as it is, it’s even more endearing.”

Her heart skips, heat rising in her cheeks once more. He finds her endearing?

“Now listen, and listen well,” Lucifer says, gripping her chin tighter. “I will not be your possession. I won’t belong to you. You will belong to me.”

Delphi shifts in his grasp, her heart racing and breathing going shallow. With no choice but to stare up into his beautiful ruby eyes, she feels as though she might burst into flames. How long has she been secretly wanting this? To be completely and utterly under the first born’s control? To give herself over to him without reservation and lose herself in him? Her knees go weak at the thought.

“So, what will it be?” he breathes. “Will you make a pact with me, Delphi?”

She takes in a ragged breath and responds, “Yes, Lucifer. I’ll make a pact with you.”

Lucifer smirks, releasing the human from his grasp. “Good. Then it’s done. As of this moment, Delphi, you are mine. I assume that takes care of all your loose ends?”

Delphi shakes her head, saying, “There’s still one more thing I have to do.”

“There is?” Delphi almost giggles at the surprise and confusion written on Lucifer’s face.

She takes a deep breath to steady herself, then grabs the demon by his lapels, pulling him down to press her lips to his. Lucifer briefly stiffens before wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. The kiss only lasts for a moment, soft and chaste, but it’s enough to send her head spinning.

She pulls away, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, covering her mouth with her hand. It’s impossible to decide exactly what she’s feeling. She feels slightly queasy, the dread of realization dropping into her stomach like a sack of rocks. What had she just done?

Her anxiety spiral is cut short as Lucifer cups her cheek in his hand, whispering her name. Then, before she can comprehend what’s happening, he crashes his lips into hers with enough force and ferocity that she feels his fangs cut into her bottom lip. The coppery taste of blood is heavy on her tongue as he parts her lips, his tongue sliding over her own.

Delphi moans into the kiss, reaching up to grab a fistful of his gray-tipped hair. Lucifer responds by picking her up by the backs of her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist and thrilling in the startled yelp she lets out.

“We’re heading straight to my room,” he growls against her lips. “You’re going to spend your last night in the Devildom there, together with me…all night long, until the break of dawn.”

Delphi whines as he presses hot kisses along her jaw to her ear, warm breath sending shivers down her spine as he hisses into her ear, “I’m not letting anyone else have you now. You’re mine.”

---

As soon as the door to his room is closed, Lucifer has her pinned against it, lips finding hers once more. His gloved hands roam everywhere they can reach, massaging her thighs, gripping her hips under her hoodie, and even sneaking upward to squeeze and massage her breasts, letting out a low growl as she tries to arch into him. Lucifer breaks the kiss to look at her, her pupils blown, cheeks a beautiful dusty rose, and lower lip held firmly between her teeth.

As she catches her breath, Delphi whispers, “Are you going to give me a pact mark?”

“Where would you like it?” Lucifer responds, one arm snaking back under her thighs.

Delphi grins, grabbing his free hand and taking the tip of his middle finger between her teeth. She gently pulls off his red glove, discarding it on the floor. She says, still grinning, “I want to be able to see it every time I look in the mirror.”

The smirk that Lucifer’s lips curl into makes heat pool in her lower abdomen. And a shiver runs down her spine when he asks, “Do you trust me?”

She nods almost too quickly, her heart hammering in anticipation. Exactly how long has she been craving his touch? Since Diavolo’s birthday party? Since the night Belphie broke free? Since the retreat? Or even before? She takes a breath to steady herself, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Do you have a safe word?” Lucifer brushes a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. Delphi’s stomach twists at the gentle gesture.

“Rosebud,” she replies.

The Avatar of Pride nods. “I want you to use it if I’m ever hurting you, if I ever cross a line, if I do anything to make you uncomfortable in the least. Do you understand?”

Delphi nods, not missing the irony of one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom insisting she use her safe word when even her human partners wouldn’t. She finds her voice, whispering, “I understand.”

Lucifer nods, his ruby eyes smoldering. His gaze sends warmth coursing through Delphi’s veins, her cheeks, neck, and ears heating. She feels herself beginning to tremble, the need running through her almost unbearable.

With his bare hand, Lucifer traces down the line of her jaw and the tendons in her neck, fingertips ghosting over her skin to rest over the veins on either side. Delphi lifts her chin ever so slightly, and he presses his palm firmly against the tender skin of her throat, capturing her lips with his at the same time. She moans into his kiss, eyes rolling back as his grip on either side of her neck tightens and she feels her head getting lighter. The searing heat of the pact burning into her skin brings tears to her eyes, but Lucifer’s mouth moving against hers, his tongue parting her lips and exploring every bit of her he can reach, sets her throbbing.

It feels like days before the burning at her throat subsides. When it does, and Lucifer’s grasp on her neck loosens, she lets her head fall against his shoulder, breathing heavily and swallowing hard. “That one hurt,” she rasps.

“And yet, you’re hopelessly aroused,” Lucifer chuckles as she rolls her hips, attempting to gain any friction at all.

Delphi turns toward his neck, pressing a kiss against his pulse. She breathes into his skin, “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Before she knows exactly what happened, Delphi is falling into the cloud-like sheets and blankets of Lucifer’s massive bed. She watches in awe as the first born shift back into his more human form, taking off his coat and tossing it onto the nearby sofa, then removing his tie and doing the same. She sits up on her elbows to watch as he reveals his neck and chest, mouth watering with every inch of skin revealed.

“Lucifer…” she breathes. He kneels at the foot of the bed, pressing a kiss to the inside of her ankle. Delphi shivers, goosebumps erupting everywhere his lips touch as he trails kisses up her leg to her inner thigh. He skips over her shorts, kissing and biting his way up her stomach as he slides her top up and off. And then he’s at her neck and her back is arching off the bed, her moans echoing through the quiet room.

He chuckles into her ear, relishing the hitch in her breath and the roll of her hips as he whispers, “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to come to me? How desperately I’ve wanted to hear your beautiful voice moaning my name?”

“Lucifer, please,” Delphi whines, bringing a hand up to fist in his hair.

“Please what, love?” Lucifer taunts, breathing heavily into her ear.

His breath, hot in her ear and fanning to her neck, and the way he called her “love” has Delphi arching into him once more. She moans, “Please touch me, fuck me, something!”

With a growl, the Avatar of Pride yanks her shorts and underwear off, smirking at her yelp of surprise. Looking down at her with a dark grin, Lucifer asks, “So, which is it? Will you be satisfied if I only touch you? Or do you want me to fuck you?"

Squirming under his gaze, Delphi whimpers, “Fuck me, please.”

She watches, squeezing her thighs together, as he undoes his belt. His pants drop and her mouth begins to water. Lucifer's black boxer briefs leave nothing to the imagination. He’s big. Not as big as Beelzebub, but still above average for a demon and massive for a human.

Lord, I don’t normally pray, but you did a fine job making this one, she thinks to herself as he removes his underwear as well.

Spreading her knees apart, Lucifer settles between her legs. He runs his hands up her thighs, watching with amusement as she quivers under his touch, her violet eyes fixed on him. He slips one long finger between her folds, smirking at the sheer amount of slick arousal he finds. He leans over her, bringing his lips to her ear once more and teases, “All of this for me?”

Delphi gasps as he slips a single finger into her warmth, hips jerking up to meet him. It’s good, wonderful even, feeling his slim finger gliding inside of her, his mouth on her neck nipping at the sensitive skin beneath her ear. But it isn’t enough.

“More,” she breathes, gripping his shoulders tightly. She whines as he inserts a second finger, the small increase in friction still not enough. She grinds her hips down on his hand desperately, whimpering, “Not enough-!”

“Tell me what you need, love,” Lucifer murmurs into her collarbone. Finding her clit with his thumb, he rubs circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“I need you,” Delphi mewls. “I need you inside me-!”

Lucifer chuckles darkly, withdrawing his fingers slowly. He lines himself up with her entrance, waiting just long enough for Delphi to whisper, “Don’t be gentle. I can take it.”

Raising an eyebrow, Lucifer asks, “Are you sure?”

Cheeks flushed red and eyes glassy, her lips curling into a mischievous grin, Delphi nods. “I like a little pleasure with my pain.”

“If you insist,” Lucifer replies, lifting one of her legs up over his shoulder.

He lines back up with her entrance, teasing it with the tip of his cock before pushing all the way in. He watches with fascination as her back arches off the bed and she cries out, fisting her hands in the sheets. He pauses for a moment, letting her adjust, before withdrawing nearly all the way and crashing back into her. Each time, she lets out a beautiful half-cry, half-moan, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

He thinks for a moment that he should ask if she’s all right, but before he can, Delphi cries, “Faster!”

With an amused huff, Lucifer obliges.

The sound of skin slapping wetly against skin mixes with the moans and whimpers of pleasure, creating the most beautiful symphony Lucifer thinks he’s ever heard. Beneath him, Delphi reaches behind her to grip the headboard, a string of curses falling from her lips as she does.

“Fuck, Lucifer! Just like that!” she cries. Tension coils within her as her mind goes blank, the only coherent thought running through her head: Lucifer!

She releases her grip on the headboard as he lifts her into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. He holds her tightly, the burn in the backs of her thighs secondary to the heat pulsing through her with every drag of his cock against every sweet spot she has. She’s trembling but holding on for dear life as he continues to pound into her, every thrust winding the coil tighter and tighter until she feels almost like she’ll burst.

“I’m so close-!” she whines gripping him tighter and burying her face in his neck.

Lucifer grins, bringing his lips to her ear and whispering, “Then come for me, darling. Let me feel you.”

As he sinks his teeth into her neck, the coil snaps and Delphi cries out, riding wave after wave of white hot ecstasy as Lucifer continues to thrust into her. She grips him tightly, digging her nails into his back as her hips roll against him and her body shudders.

Lucifer follows shortly behind, filling her with his seed. He captures her lips in a kiss as he gently lays her down on the bed and withdraws from her warmth, swallowing her weak groan from the sudden absence. Breaking the kiss, he carefully removes her legs from his shoulders and watches with a smile and she curls onto her side, looking for all the world like she could be sleeping.

He brushes a strand of hair away from her face, asking, “Are you all right?”

Delphi’s eyes remain closed, but she smiles. “I am amazing,” she replies. “You were amazing. We’re doing that again, right?”

Lucifer chuckles, running a hand up the back of her thigh. “I have all night to savor you, love. We’re nowhere near done.”

---

Dawn comes entirely too quickly.

Delphi never wants to leave Lucifer’s bed. She wants to remain there for the rest of eternity, relishing in the softness of the sheets and the warmth of his wings wrapped around her like a cocoon. She could stay there forever if not for the tiny detail that she’s leaving in just a few short hours.

---

Her new pact mark is impossible to miss, as are the dozens of hickeys dotting her neck, chest, and shoulders. Every demon, angel, and human in the council chamber stares openly as she arrives. She thought she’d be more self-conscious, walking in with most of the evidence of last night on full display. But instead of embarrassment, Delphi feels two pact marks begin to tingle: Lucifer's and Asmo’s.

Just as she’s thinking that maybe she’ll get away without anything being said, she receives a text from Asmo:

Boo  💋

>Delphi dear, kitten, just what exactly were you doing last night?

Me

>That’s a secret, Asmo.

Boo 💋

>Oh, there’s nothing secret about it, hon. The evidence is all over your neck and shoulders.

Me

>Fine, fine.

>When I left the attic last night, I was just gonna get some water. But I heard Lucifer listening to music in his study.

>I found him in his study, we talked a bit, I asked him to make a pact with me, and then things moved to his bedroom.

Boo 💋

>Wait, is that it? That’s all you’re going to tell me?

>You’re so mean, Delphi!!

Delphi chuckles, slipping her D.D.D. into her back pocket. She turns just in time to say goodbye to Simeon, Solomon, and Luke. After giving them each a hug, she watches as each of them walks through the portal Barbatos holds open for them. And then she’s alone with the demons.

Everyone says their goodbyes, Diavolo and Barbatos, then all of the brothers until she’s left with one last demon to say goodbye to.

Lucifer steps in front of her, arms crossed. He gives her a smile and says, “I’ll never forget this year I’ve spent with you. You’ll always be welcome here in the Devildom anytime you’d like to return.”

Tears stinging in her eyes, Delphi throws her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest. Lucifer freezes for a moment, eyes wide, but relaxes into the hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and leaning his head down to her ear.

“When you do visit again,” he murmurs into the shell of her ear, “we’ll have to pick back up where we left off last night. Because there’s still so much you could learn from me, so much I’d like to reveal.”

The shiver that runs through her at his words is absolutely wonderful, leaving her knees weak and her heart racing. She looks up at him, pouting. “Can I have another hour?”

Lucifer releases her, chuckling, “Not today. But one day soon.”

“Yo, Lucifer!” Mammon yells, noticing as Lucifer strokes Delphi’s cheek with his knuckles. “What’s the big deal whisperin’ to Delphi like that, huh?! And back off, you’re too close!”

“It’s time,” Diavolo announces as Barbatos opens up another portal.

Delphi sighs, stepping back from her newest pact mate and toward the portal. She stops just short of the doorway, turning back to wave to everyone. She’ll miss them, but it won’t be forever. She’ll be back.

[ethvn-torchio]

Bucky x reader, except the reader is also a supersoldier who went through the same thing, so she 1000% understands. They both wake up from a nightmare and comfort each other, and end up having very passionate sex.

oH mY gOd iZzY!??!??!! good lord that is 𝓈𝒽𝓇𝑒𝓍𝓎.

Anyway babe, here's a bucky x fem!reader fic for ya. also omfg i love bucky barnes sm 🥺 hnngh mr barnes can rail me any day

Warnings: smut (duh), p in v sex ;) a little angst kinda? top!Bucky, bottom!reader (kinda?) unprotected sex

Word count: 1,398

You and Bucky were no strangers to nightmares; over the years, both of you were frequently plagued by them. They never became any easier to manage.

You live in the now, but there is one thing that will always and forever be a part of your past.

The Super Soldier serum.

The Soldier is part of who you are - who you both are. It's a part of Bucky, a part of you.

It wasn't an easy decision to make; to take that acceptance of what the past had set you on, and face forward.

Bucky shouts, bringing you out of your light, fitful sleep with a jolt. You throw yourself up and away from the bed with one quick motion.

It takes a moment for your vision to clear, and your breathing to steady. By the time your heart slows back down to normal, you're aware of Bucky was sitting up, leaning back with his hands braced on either side of his hips, breathing harshly, and panting as sweat dripped down his face and onto his chest, fingertips glistening with moisture.

Your pulse hadn't even calmed down enough for you to register what caused it to speed up in the first place when you exhale sharply, seeing Bucky crouched in the middle of the bed, face contorted in the middle of a scream. You can't see his eyes behind the glare the moonlight throws at you, but you get the feeling he's looking right at you.

He's looking at you.

"Bucky," you say, softer than you intend to, eyeing him as you finish sliding up onto your feet in the floor. "Hey. It's okay, Bucky. Breathe," you offer, holding your hands out open and out to your sides, to show you mean him no harm.

Bucky doesn't register your words and doesn't stop staring at you. His eyes are wide, his fists clenched.

"It's only me, Bucky," you breathe. It's then you notice how tense his body is; the tic of the muscle in his jaw, the tension in his arms, the way his shoulders hunch. He looks like he's ready for a fight, ready to grab his weapon of choice and take aim for the kill.

"Bucky, look at me," you request, the words coming out as soothing as you think you can get them. "Breathe with me. Come on. It's just me. You're safe," you reassure, still maintaining a safe distance.

It takes a couple of seconds, but you can see the way his shoulders visibly relax when he finally looks up at you, breathing deeply and still shaking. The sight of him in the state he was in made your heart ache.

You nod, ready to approach.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and you can hear him swallow audibly. "I…" he falters, pausing, and then he pauses again, exhaling harshly. "I'm sorry." he repeats.

"Do you...want to talk about it?" you ask tentatively, though you doubted he would. Neither of you liked to talk about your nightmares.

"No," he replies, almost immediately, though you can see him glance back at you briefly before his eyes avert back to their spot between his knees. "No, I don't. I don't want to…I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Okay," you agree, "Okay," you repeat again, slowly. "I don't expect you to." you add with a smile, though you doubt he can see it. You sit beside him on the bed.

You let the silence fill the space between you, letting him collect himself. 

Finally, he says, “I don’t want to go back to sleep.” 

You shift, tucking a loose hair behind your ear. “Well, what can I do to help?”

Dark, lustful eyes follow your silhouette. "I don't want to think anymore... just let me..." He whispers, the tone of his voice desperate. 

You wordlessly nod, allowing him to pull you into a kiss. There’s nothing quite romantic about the way he kisses you, insatiable and impassioned. The kiss feels longer than it actually is. 

Finally, you break apart, staring at each other for a moment longer before his eyes glance down to where your lips are still slightly parted, watching him. 

Without another word, his cold metal hand slides up your nightshirt, leaving trails of goosebumps in it's wake. He helps you out of your shirt, leaving you in only your sports bra.

His brow furrows. He growls, and you can hear the telltale sound of tearing fabric - and then you’re bare for him, nipples hardening in the cool air. 

You never liked that bra, anyway.

He mutters your name in appreciation, teeth grazing your neck. His hands trail along your body, like he was making sure you were real. 

You wish you could see his brilliant blue eyes, if only to reassure him more. 

He tugs impatiently at the waistband of your shorts, pressing his forehead to yours. You card your fingers in his hair, and before you know it, your shorts are uncaringly tossed to the floor. 

He pauses at the waistband of your underwear. You can feel his hot breath against your neck, his fingers hooked at the waistband.

"Bucky," you plea softly.

That's seemingly all the motivation he needs, and your underwear is added to the ever-growing pile of clothes on the floor.

He doesn't hesitate to touch your clit, rubbing tight circles on the bundle of nerves.

You mewl, spreading your legs for him, anything to get more attention on your clit.

However, he abandons your clit in favor of something else.

You can feel the cold metal of his fingers In your searing heat, and you squirm. “Bucky, oh, God-” you mutter, biting your lip. 

He shushes you, pressing a kiss to your lips. You quickly get used to the icy coolness of his fingers, it adds another layer to your pleasure. He buries his two fingers to the knuckle, pumping and curling his fingers just right, making you a wet, wanton mess. 

He hits your G-spot, and you throw your head back, moaning aloud. He hits that spot a few more times before he removes his fingers, making you whine at the loss.

“Suck.” is his simple demand, fingers coated in your slick.

You oblige, sucking his fingers, the faint taste of metal mixed with your own juices.

He groans, and then his fingers - wet with your own spit - go back down to your clit, rubbing it with fast, light strokes.

You moan, clenching around nothing, aching for him.

Eventually, he stops, and you can feel the head of his cock brush against your entrance. He pauses, pressing his forehead to yours. "-needed this so much, Doll. God, I-" he trails off.

You press a kiss to his cheek. "I'm here, Bucky."

He exhales shakily, and suddenly, he buries himself inside of you to the hilt.

The noise that he releases is primal.

You moan at the feeling of being full, and the delicious stretch that comes along with it.

He stays like that for a brief moment, letting you adjust to him before he rolls his hips.

He thrusts sharply, experimentally, before he finds his rhythm, setting a frantic pace, fucking you like he'd never see you again.

He peppers kisses everywhere he can, kissing your lips, your cheeks, your neck, your shoulders - as you writhe underneath him, incoherently begging for more. He grips your hips, holding them tightly, muttering slurred praises in your ear.

It was something carnal, something wild and desperate, and it was so fucking good.

His skillfull fingers find your clit once again, and the combination of the attention on your clit and the way he hits your G-spot makes you cry out his name, you orgasm steadily approaching.

You clench around his cock and he groans in appreciation, kissing and nipping at your neck.

There was surely going to be a hickey on your neck and bruises on your thighs when you woke up tommorow, at the rate he was going.

His hips begin to stutter, his breath gets shaky. "'M gonna-" he warns,

You were about to respond when he pinches your clit, and your orgasm hits you suddenly, quickly. You yell his name, milking his cock.

He groans into your hair, whispering your name as he gives a few short, choppy thrusts before he orgasms.

You both sleep nightmare free the rest of the night.

-------

Taglist:

@rizwritesfandom @motherfuckingstargirl10 @haydens-moles

yo sorry this was vv not good ngl 💁🏻‍♀️ but like I'm really tired yall I'm sorry 🗿✌️ hope y'all enjoyed<3 also the ending was trash

Edit; wtf deadass I forgot the part where the reader was supposed to have a nightmare too????? Literally ignore me sldjfhskek

[chainofclovers]

This Way Up season 2 thoughts and feelings

We finished watching the second season of This Way Up last night (watched it in two sittings over Friday and Saturday) and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would though the season did feel uneven at times. The story also made me feel incredibly, incredibly sad, and my brain is so cluttered with thoughts that I'm not sure I'll be able to actually make sense of the show if I don't just go on and share my impressions, as scattered, self-indulgent, and based on the limited memory of a single viewing as they are.

Where was I when I was watching this season of television?

Physically, I was on the couch with my wife, repeatedly remembering and forgetting that the Olympics were happening. And so, interspersed with this deep dive into the mental health and personal and professional challenges of London-based Irish sisters Áine and Shona, I experienced some archery, skateboarding (those bros honestly seem tooooo cool to even want to come to something as embarrassingly earnest as the Olympics, but good for them!), and men's gymnastics.

Mentally, I was contemplating some significant professional (and, yes, personal in their way) life events that are neither here nor there for tumblr dot com. I was also considering the season two premiere of Ted Lasso and my fannish relationship to that show. For it is true--the person I was while watching season 1 of This Way Up is not the same person who watched season 2 this weekend, because in the meantime a 45-year old white man from Kansas (and every person he knows) managed to become my primary media preoccupation, and I am surprisingly chill about how not chill I am about this anxiety-ridden ray of sunshine/football coach (both footballs). But as we all know, being chill does not mean feeling chill. That make sense?

Anyway. This Way Up. It's about to become a mess of spoilers and feelings in here, so venture behind the cut if you dare!

For Obvious Queer Reasons I was extremely curious to find out what happens between Shona and Charlotte and Shona and Vish. As such, while it was uncomfortable to watch, I think my favorite scene in the whole season is when Shona and Vish have video chat sex and Shona has this intrusive memory of sleeping with Charlotte that feels like the ONLY moment in the entire season that she isn't performing or editing herself in some way.

My other favorite moment is when Charlotte talks about how upsetting it is to feel like a "lesson learned" chapter in Shona's autobiography.

I cannot believe I'm about to type these words, but I think the writing on this show might actually put too much trust in viewers to pick up on things. I know, this never happens! This is my dream! Why am I typing this? But hear me out. I think there are a lot of interesting parallels in terms of whether Shona and Vish (established, engaged, committed) and Áine and Richard (new, taboo [but is it really that crazy that she ends up dating the dad of someone she tutors?], exploratory) are truly able to listen to each other and accept each other's needs. It's about honesty or lack thereof, and it's also about what's really happening inside someone's mind. It's such an incredible moment when Richard tells Áine he likes that she's always so "up" and she has this private moment where you can see this heartbreak in her eyes because of course we know that she really struggles with her mental health and with depression. And I like that the show has both Bradley and Charlotte in the position of being on the overlapping outside of those relationships, offering their own wisdom from a place of really, really caring about Áine and Shona. But I just wanted MORE of that. This episodes are so short, and I needed there to be more of a tight story about those parallels, more of a sense that we'd hurtle towards some kind of revelation by episode 6.

I realize this is a thing about UK shows, but these seasons are just too short. The episodes are like 24 minutes long and there are only six of them and I felt that while you could create an effective season of TV with those constraints, this season jumped between scenes too frequently. I wanted to live in the scenes for longer. I didn't want to feel like I was watching the editing and decisions about what to show happen before my eyes.

If season 3 happens, my second biggest dream is that Bradley and Áine can have a conversation following up from the observation that it would be nice to be with someone they're just comfortable with (spoken while they're slumped on the couch together having one of the warmest conversations two characters share all season). My biggest dream is that Shona and Charlotte can have a respectful conversation about how Shona defines her sexuality. I want Shona to be safe explaining if she'd want to use the term bisexual or queer or pan or even lesbian or some combination of those terms. Not because the labels are the most useful thing, but because in this case it would be incredibly useful for her to force herself to choose some words, not in the context of feeling Vish-related pressure. To be brave enough to describe herself, and to be safe enough to know that Charlotte isn't going to make some snide comment about men. It's totally fair that Charlotte is so hurt, but she needs to be able to listen, too.

I do think this season does an incredible job capturing Shona's intense ambivalence about herself, and how she is SCRAMBLING to deflect from that by focusing on her sister, work, family, wedding-planning, the hen do, basically anything but dealing with her own little brain and heart. I mean, when COVID starts to arrive in their lives, it feels like she really wants Vish's asthmatic uncle to be the golden ticket they need to call off the wedding.

I have mixed feelings about how frequently Áine references the feeling of being an actor or the feeling of experiencing things as someone might in a movie or show or the feeling that someone else is treating her as an actor or character rather than as a real person. I think it's an interesting thing to write about, but upon first watch I struggled to figure out if it was a commentary on the other parts of the story or an additional thread Aisling Bea wanted to weave into an already incredibly short season of TV.

It was very jarring to have a COVID plot. The only mainstream media I've seen so far with a COVID plot is--LOL (to quote Áine, who says LOL so many times this season)--the final scene of the Saved By the Bell remake. Again I say LOL!!! I didn't hate it or love it, necessarily, I just thought it felt strange because we're still in the pandemic and everything is strange.

Everything with Tom was so, so, so painful. I don't know if I can even get into it. I just felt visceral devastation and was hurtled into strong memories about people in my own life who died prematurely. (Suicide but not only suicide.) The way the last scene ended felt like--immediate tears just pulled from my eyes without me even realizing what was happening. And God, the way Tom-in-the-flashback calls her a "soppy cunt" (I think?) and we realize Áine used those exact words to jokingly refer to Richard's previous girlfriend who was a human rights lawyer? GOD.

While Áine and Shona don't really engage with each other in the same way my sister and I do, my sister and I are also really, really close and I'm the older sister and watching this show always gives me a lot of emotions about siblings. This is actually part of why the rapid scene cuts and feeling that they both were leaving so much unarticulated stressed me out. Áine nails it at the end when Shona has finally told her about Charlotte and she says Shona needs to tell her more, but I wanted to SEE that conversation happen. I wanted to FEEL Áine's reaction, because Áine's reaction matters more than Vish's or their mother's or anyone else's. It was frustrating!

I dunno, y'all. I really love this show. I think it is exactly what it wants to be. I could not tell you today if I will ever rewatch it even though I (think I) still consider it a favorite. I honor and respect the fundamental messiness and pain and hilarity of this show. What a wild experience.

[phantom-curve]

find the strength, find the melody pt. 5

this is still a working title. I just can’t decide if it fits or not, so feel free to offer any suggestions! once I finish this fic I’m going to go back and reblog it in it’s entirety and I promise I will finalize and update the title for all the reblogs to make it easier to find in the future. I’m probably also going to post the completed fic to AO3, possibly with some slight editing updates. I’ll add the link once that’s active.

also, I want you all to know that I almost missed a typo in this chapter that would have had Julie biting her nip instead of her lip so you’re welcome for that. 

also also, this chapter solidified my decision to write this fic from Luke’s perspective once I finish Julie’s. my god, the things happening in this boy’s head during this scene had me taking a bath and calling my husband for cuddles at 2pm. HE’S JUST TOO SOFT. Reggie and Alex will be more prominent in his story. their characters are so fun to write, but harder to work into Julie’s story until it’s closer to the end. 

to be fully honest, I’m not entirely happy with the cut-off on this chapter, but I felt like y'all deserved all 3,084 words after a 6 day hiatus so I had to pick a slightly more awkward end spot. hope it makes up for taking so long to update!

tag list (lmk if you want me to add you!): @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder​, @kat-maybe-not​

Julie didn’t expect to see Luke the next day. When her alarm went off at 6:45 that morning, she woke up with a start, heart racing as memories of last night flooded back. She had been ready to defend herself and Luke to her father, but it had been business as usual in the Molina household. Her father had gotten up like normal and gone about his morning without any hiccups from a very cute, unexpected teenage boy showing up. Julie could hear him leaving for work now, calling up a loving goodbye to her in between shouts at Carlos to hurry his butt into the car. When she peeked out of her window at the studio it looked exactly the same as it always did, empty and still. For a moment, she was sure that she dreamed the entire thing.

Something felt different in her soul though. Realigned, like a part of her she didn’t realize was missing had finally made its way back home. Everything in her body felt lighter as she got dressed and floated down the stairs to grab her breakfast. She was riding high on cloud nine, humming actually humming! under her breath as she moved around the kitchen, when a loud rap at the back door startled her. Flynn would have just walked in so it couldn’t be her. Her dad, too, would have simply run inside if he had forgotten something. It wasn’t until she was already reaching for the door handle that she recognized the electricity sparking in the air. She opened the door to a now familiar pair of puppy dog eyes waiting on the other side.

“I thought I told you to leave by 6:30 so my dad wouldn’t see you.”

Julie tried to make her voice snappy, but it was so hard when he was standing there, bobbing and weaving in the early morning sunshine, eyes shining, lips curved into the sweetest smile. He took her words in stride. His smile stretched as his head dipped with a charming amount of bashfulness. She realized with a jolt that he had been doing that for days now, ever since she ran into him after her meeting with Ms. Harrison. Just rolling right through every punch she threw at him like it was nothing. Her walls slipped a little lower.

“I thought I could make you breakfast. You know, as a thank you for last night.”

Her brain short circuited. Luke Patterson...wanted to...make her breakfast? She had to turn the words over in her mind a few times before they began to make sense. Julie studied him for a moment, noticing that he seemed much more like his normal confident self this morning. Gone was the unsteady boy that had stood in her mom’s studio doorway last night. Still, one shoulder was hitched a little higher than the other, his fingers flexing against the backpack strap slung over it. His face was open and eager, but she could detect the hint of nervousness that he was trying to cover up. She caught a faint whiff of jasmine as a slight breeze blew past them and immediately zeroed in on the damp wisps of hair curling around his neck. The thought of Luke in her shower, using her soap was almost her undoing. Desperately trying to get a hold on the situation, she leaned against the open doorway, crossing her arms across her chest in what she hoped was a nonchalant movement.

“I thought we were going to pretend last night didn’t happen.”

His smile faltered a little bit, his free hand flying up to scratch at the back of his neck. His bouncing shifted to rocking, and Julie felt the change in his demeanor like a punch to her gut.

“Yeah...okay...I mean if that’s what you want. I’ll uh, see you around, Molina.”

His voice lacked its typical singsong quality, rejection flattening the lilt she had become accustomed to. Pain bloomed in Julie’s chest, familiar and foreign all at the same time. It wasn’t like the pain she was used to, wasn’t connected to her mom or her music. This pain was all about Luke and the fact that she had just hurt him for no reason at all. Shame rolled through her stomach in a nauseous wave. Luke was already adjusting the bag higher on his shoulder, turning away from her, body language all but screaming “leave me alone”. It didn’t stop her from reaching out and laying a hand against his shoulder.

“Luke.”

His name was a plea and an apology rolled into one. She felt the ripple of his muscles as his body reacted to it, dropping her hand only when he turned to face her. Their eyes caught, the air sparking between them.

“What were you going to make?”

His brow furrowed in confusion, his eyes never leaving hers. She knew she had to do better, but God, it was hard to face your feelings after bottling them up for so long.

“For breakfast. I usually just grab a Pop-Tart to eat on my walk to school. Do you actually cook every morning?”

Luke was still staring. Julie bit her lip, the tail end of a nervous giggle that she couldn’t quite suppress all the way slipping out. The sound seemed to jolt him out of whatever trance he was in. In two seconds, he was back to bouncing on the balls of his feet, arms loose at his sides once more.

“Yeah, I do.”

The shy smile on his lips did something to Julie’s insides that she wasn’t willing to investigate just yet.

“Usually eggs, but sometimes waffles or pancakes on the weekends. Bacon if the boys are coming over. It’s the most important meal of the day, ya know.”

His eyes were bright again, practically glowing like they usually did when he started talking about something he was passionate about. Julie had only ever seen him like this when he was going off on another music related rant in class. Who knew breakfast foods could be so inspiring?

“Well, that sounds a lot better than strawberry Pop-Tarts.”

She turned, leaving the door open as she started to walk back towards the kitchen. She could hear Luke hesitate in the doorway, but all it took was one look over her shoulder and he was rushing in after her, quietly closing the door in his wake. They walked to the kitchen in silence, Julie trying to figure out what the hell was happening in her head and heart the entire time.

The instant Luke entered the kitchen it was like she was seeing a completely different side of him. He was quick and sure with all of his movements, taking only a few minutes to find everything he needed without even asking her for guidance. The muscles of his forearm rippled as he whisked the eggs together, the flick of his wrist just as mesmerizing now as when he played guitar. His confidence on stage had always been awe-inspiring, the way he moved and the energy he gave off undeniably cool and sure, never an ounce of doubt that he was anything other than amazing. It was a way for him to prove he was the best of the best, show that he had fully earned the title of “Rockstar”.

This moment in her sunny kitchen showed a quieter confidence. Nothing flashy or showy, just Luke doing something he clearly enjoyed for no other reason than the fact that he liked it. The rock god attitude had always been surface-level hot, sure, but this kind of domestic comfortability was an entirely new level of attractive. Julie felt her mouth go dry, the tips of her ears growing warm the longer she watched him. He hummed under his breath, the sound reverberating in her soul and sending little shivers up and down her spine. It wasn’t until he was sliding a plate of steaming scrambled eggs and toast in front of her that she finally recognized the melody. Her breath caught and he met her eyes with a gentle expression.

“I told you already, it’s an incredible song.”

He grabbed his own plate and lowered himself into the chair next to hers at the bar. He immediately began shoveling eggs in his mouth. Julie took a few bites of her own food, pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Then an ugly thought took over her brain. She dropped her fork, turning to stare at Luke with a dark intensity she couldn’t control.

“Did you...did you play my mom’s song?”

She couldn’t keep the betrayal out of her voice. It echoed in the room, low and hollow, like the sound of tomb closing. Luke’s own fork fell with a clatter.

“Julie, no.”

His voice was just as desperate, filled with pain and apology.

“I swear to you, no. I wouldn’t do that. I knew what it was as soon as I found it. I couldn’t hurt you like that. I never even showed it to Reggie or Alex.”

She believed him. The look on his face, the tone of his voice, proved to her that he wasn’t lying. Then, his cheeks turned a very light pink.

“I just...sometimes...I would read it. Not around the guys.”

He was quick to add that part in there, like he was assuring her he could protect the things that were important to her. Like he was promising to protect her. She could tell he was a little uncomfortable with the revelation, but he pushed through anyway.

“Just like...at night before bed...or when I was stuck on a song and needed some inspiration.”

His eyes rose to meet hers, some tender emotion she couldn’t identify lurking in their oceanic depths.

“I meant it when I said you’re an incredible songwriter. Sometimes...”

His cheeks darkened, ears flaming red to match.

“Sometimes...it was almost like I could hear you playing it.”

The last part was said so quietly she almost missed it. She felt her face go slack. Who was this guy and what had he done with the normal, cocky Lucas Patterson? The gentleness of his words, the way his eyes were drilling into hers like he could see all the way down to the depths of her soul, had her blinking against the sudden emotion clogging her throat.

“Last night was the first time I ever played it.”

The confession sprung from her lips without second thought. She had to do something, anything to break whatever tension seemed to be thickening between them with each passing second. Luke tilted his head, another warm smile gracing his lips.

“You were even more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. You’re like a human wrecking ball, Julie. It’s insane how talented you are.”

So much for breaking the tension. Julie sucked in a breath, her heart stuttering in her chest. It was only then that she realized how close their bodies had become, each one leaning farther into the other as their conversation went on. There were only inches between them now, Luke’s lyrical voice curling into her ear with a delicious intimacy she couldn’t help but crave. If she got any closer to him their foreheads would touch, their nose would brush, their lips would...

And just like that she was on the ground, her backside stinging from slamming into the hardwood so abruptly. Luke blinked down at her, eyes still swimming with that damnable affection, but also tinged with confusion. In her desperate attempt to bail, she must have leaned too far back, falling off the barstool before she could even realize what would happen. She shook her head to clear the spell Luke had been spinning before looking past him to the clock on the oven.

“We should probably leave for school now unless we want to be late.”

She ignored the breathy way her voice came out, pushing herself to a standing position. Without making eye contact, she wove her way around Luke. He was like a block of ice in his chair, still poised to lean into her completely. She scooped up their half-eaten breakfasts, plopping them loudly into the sink before slipping her arms through her backpack straps. Nowhere left to hide, she turned back towards the brunette boy.

He stared at her for a long moment, the hot frustration in his gaze burning through her and making her want to squirm. For a second, she thought he was going to push it, but then his eyes closed for what felt like an eternity. When they opened again, he seemed resigned. She could detect just a hint of his previous fiery intensity, the rest of it shrouded behind an almost forlorn veil of acceptance.

“If that’s what you want.”

There was a deeper meaning to his words that Julie wasn’t prepared for. Her breathing faltered, the silence between them heavy with the things he was leaving unsaid. She almost gave in. Almost asked him just what, exactly, he wanted right now. But she didn’t need to ask him because she could read it plain on his face. It terrified her. And Julie had become an expert at avoiding things that scared her in this past year. So, instead, she gave him a tight nod and zipped out the front door to wait for him outside.

In the clear sunshine of another beautiful LA day, she was finally able to breathe again. Out here, away from the thick tension of the kitchen, it was easier to tell herself Luke was just being nice. Easier to pretend their little moment inside was just some friendly banter. Easier to ignore the implications of Luke’s serious words and caring tone. She gulped in deep breaths, willing her head and heart to cool down. She heard the click of the door latching shut behind her, turned to see Luke standing there, a small pout on his lips, face entirely unrepentant. Good lord she was in trouble.Then a realization hit. She clung to it, desperately hoping it would get them back on a more neutral page, pull them out of whatever had been simmering between them all morning.

“Where’s your car? I know you didn’t drive over here last night.”

Luke’s face changed immediately, chagrin taking over every feature. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he shoved his hands in the front of his jeans.

“I uh...I only live a few houses away from you...”

Now it was Julie’s turn to gape like a fish. Luke Patterson was her neighbor? Since when?

“My parents...we moved to the neighborhood a couple years ago. I...uhm well...”

His hand rose again to scratch at his neck, and she had never wanted to grab at him more than in this moment. That movement was slowly beginning to drive her crazy. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and blurted it out in one garbled sentence.

“Iusedtohidearoundthecornerandlistentoyouandyourmomplayinthestudiopleasedon’thateme.”

Julie was so stunned she nearly tumbled off the top step as she staggered backwards. Only Luke’s quick reflexes saved her from falling flat on her back for the second time that morning. His eyes darted around her face, clearly trying to figure out if she was about to lose it on him or not. Julie struggled to process the info dump she had gotten from Luke in the last couple of days. All of her preconceived notions were slowly being proven wrong and she wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that. Life was easier when Luke was just another selfish, swaggering upperclassman. How long had she been in his orbit? Years it sounded like. The realization was staggering.

“You...you listened to us play? Why?”

Luke still had his hands wrapped around her wrists. Julie couldn’t find it in her to break the connection. Her voice came out more broken than she intended, memories of sunlit days singing with her mom invading her mind. Luke remembered those days too?

“Haven’t you been listening?”

His voice was strained, his eyes boring into hers like he was trying to telepathically force her to understand. His fingers flexed against her skin, the movement causing a flurry of butterflies to erupt in her stomach.

“You’re a star, Julie Molina. I couldn’t help getting sucked into your orbit.”

Julie felt her eyelids flutter, her chest squeezing like it was going to burst from the rapid inhale/exhale she couldn’t seem to calm. He said her name like a prayer, his lips turning it into something holy and sacred. She was drowning in Luke’s gaze, a riot of emotions swirling around in her brain. Somehow, because he was Luke and apparently he knew her better than she ever expected him to, he could tell that his declaration had gone a little too far. Easing back, he released his hold and rocked away from her just a bit to give her the space she so desperately needed. His eyes were still impossibly soft, bordering on adoration as he watched her come to terms with his bold announcement. Finally, once Julie was pretty sure she had come back down to Earth, he jogged down the front steps.

“We can still drive if you want to, but I think it’s a pretty nice morning for a walk if you’re up for it.”

“Okay.”

It felt like the smallest possible acceptance she could offer him, but the way Luke lit up in response made her want to melt. Head still swimming, she made her way down the steps on shaky baby deer legs. Luke didn’t push, just fell in step with her as easy as pie. Every once in a while, his fingers would brush against her hand, and it took every scrap of will power to keep herself from just reaching out and linking their hands together.

They passed a house bursting with flowers out front. Julie’s eyes caught on an explosion of bright red in the corner of the yard. Dahlias. Her mother’s favorite. It felt like a sign, and another part of Julie’s soul slipped quietly back into place. The next time Luke’s hand knocked against hers she shyly allowed their fingers to tangle. She didn’t need to look to see the smile break out on his face. She could feel the warmth of it filling the air around her like her own personal sun. He squeezed just once. Just enough to acknowledge the move for what it was. She didn’t let go until the school appeared in the distance.

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

hi :D dont rlly stress about more parts about TPWM or even TPWP bc we'll love anything you dish out! if you need a break, we'll 100% understand. we care about you <3

Aw, thank you so much! This means a lot to me, really.

(I'm putting a read more here, since- like always- my response here turned out way longer than intended and I don't want to clog up dashes, ha.)

Anyway, for the record, y'all don't need to worry about me, ha. I learned a while ago how to manage my anxiety and stress reasonably well. If there comes a day when it all becomes too much for me, I assure you I will be putting my health and well being first. As much as I adore fanfic and writing and sharing my ideas, it's always been a hobby and a passion for me, you know? An escape. That doesn't mean I don't put my all into it! Or that I don't care about it or the people who find meaning in it! Just... I know better than to let it ruin my mental health. It's one of the reasons why I share things about my struggles, either here or in notes, since it helps me to know that the people I'm sharing my work with know what is going on. Right?

However, since TPWP is already done, there's not much stress about it. I have some concern over posting and editing, but that's not super bad and I do my best to mitigate it as much as I can. Like I've said, I've edited TPWP so many times that it's prolly fine without any additional edits, if it ever gets too stressful. I just keep editing it mostly because I actually kind of enjoy rereading the chapter and fixing up the minor things, ha. It's still a lot of work, and is a touch stressful to get it edited in time to post, but I do enjoy it.

And as for TPWM... the way I see it, it's kind of a bonus, you know? Not many authors will rewrite their entire fic from another perspective, so to me, writing even a partial story there is better than having nothing. People will still have the option of reading TPWP should I never even finish TPWM, but having even a portion of TPWM written gives a bit more insight into how I imagine Mondo reacting to these events. Even if I never finish it... it gives the readers more insight and more content than if I never wrote anything at all. You feel me?

Basically... I truly appreciate the concern, please don't think I'm trying to discourage your kindness or that I don't really appreciate that you sent me this! I just want to clarify that while it may seem like I'm having some trouble with things based on what I share, I'm honestly doing okay. If that changes, I will definitely let y'all know, but please know that when I write my little updates or things, it's more of a playful "man, writing is hard!!!" kind of thing, and not a "my life is spiraling and I don't know what to do, oh my god" kind of thing. I've had moments of the latter in my life, and while things aren't perfect now, they're pretty good for me at the moment.

TL/DR: I really appreciate the concern, but don't worry about me, I'm fine. <3

[artificialqueens]

Making the Grade (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: You guys asked for more stud Vanessa & bratty Brooke, so here y'all go ;P Thanks Holtzmanns for betaing!!! <3

If Brooke could go back in time, redo any moment in her life, she would have gone straight to exactly three months ago and slapped herself in the face for deciding to go back to school. She should have left everything alone, stayed a dance teacher, kept telling kids to point their toes and to stop hitting each other when they thought she wasn’t looking. But no, she just had to have dreams of being a fashion designer, and just had to decide that it was a realistic, good time to start pursuing them.

And now, she was sitting at her kitchen table, staring at the blank page that was supposed to become a fully written and edited, ready-for-submission, three page essay on fashion merchandising within the next four hours.

Of course her dumbass brain would pick now to start ping-ponging between so many different ideas and worries that she couldn’t actually get any down on the page.

“How’s the writing goin’, babe?” Vanessa came up behind Brooke, startling Hera little as she wrapped her hands around Brooke’s shoulders over the back of her chair. Brooke snorted.

“See for yourself.” She gestured over to her screen, the blank page still taunting her. Vanessa clicked her tongue.

“That bad, huh?”

“God, I wish I’d never started this fucking degree.” Brooke groaned, collapsing forward and putting her head in her hands. Maybe if she curled up into a ball, she’d emerge in a few hours and the essay would magically be done, by Vanessa, by Keebler elves, who knew, who cared? Or maybe she could just get out the vodka, say to Hell with it, and put down whatever her drunk mind came up with first–it would still be better than whatever non-ideas she had swimming in her head that second.

“Nah, don’t talk like that, babe.” Vanessa kissed Brooke on the top of her head, cutting off her thoughts about what to do in favour of stroking her hair and continuing to kiss her. “We gonna get you started on this, and then you’re gonna finish, okay?”

“Mm.” Brooke grunted, but leaned into Vanessa’s kisses anyway as she moved her mouth downward, her hands following suit and resting firmly on Brooke’s shoulders as she began to suck lightly on Brooke’s neck. “And how is this supposed to help me?”

“Daddy’s leave the room right now, jus’ for a minute. Get a nice surprise for my baby girl. But you gotta earn it. If I don’t see at least a sentence on the page when I get back down here, you just gonna have to live without it. Got that?”

Brooke rocketed up and began to type so fast she nearly knocked Vanessa to the floor. By the time Brooke heard Vanessa’s footsteps padding back into the kitchen, she had half of her introductory paragraph down. It was absolute crap, that she was sure of, but when she looked up and saw the surprise Vanessa had in store for her, suddenly, that didn’t matter.

“See? Look at that, a whole half a paragraph. Knew you could do it.” Vanessa’s praises barely registered; Brooke was too busy looking down between Vanessa’s now-bare legs, where her strap hung ready over a pair of boxer-briefs. “All you need’s a little motif–node-a–somethin’ to look forward to.”

Brooke licked her lips, eyes still trailing on Vanessa’s strap, looking up and down the length of it. “And is that my motivation?”

Vanessa smirked.

“Get up, take off your shorts ‘n underwear, an’ daddy’ll show you how she’s gonna help you.”

“Yes, daddy.” Brooke’s reply came out breathless, her head spinning as she made quick work of her clothes. Vanessa, for her part, moved just as fast, sliding onto Brooke’s chair and smiling up at the blonde expectantly when Brooke finally turned back around.

“Alright, baby, so this is how it’s gonna go down. You’re gonna sit nice and pretty on daddy’s dick, an’ we gonna talk through this paper. You ain’t gonna move, but if I see you gettin’ out of focus, I’ll rub you out just a little, just to get you relaxed. Not enough to come, though–you gonna have to earn that. Every page is an orgasm, and every time you move from section to section without gettin’ distracted, that’s another one for you, too.

“But,” she warned, suddenly stern, “If you squirm, or if you start fightin’ me, then you lose an orgasm, and if you have none left by the time you finish, or if you in the red, well, you gonna be waitin’ a long time to get your next one, I’ll tell you that.” By the time she finished her proposition, though, she had already pushed Brooke’s legs apart and began to tease her slit, gathering wetness before starting to prep her entrance, and Brooke was gone, powerless to do anything but agree.

It only took about an hour and a half longer for Brooke to be finished, Vanessa rubbing away her tenseness and patiently encouraging Brooke to express her thoughts in words before getting them straight down on the page without any time to doubt herself in-between. In fact, Brooke earned some extra orgasms, and only lost one, thanks to a sudden bout of brattiness where she began to bounce on Vanessa’s strap, only to be firmly held down and given a warning bite on her neck. By the time Vanessa finally eased Brooke off her lap, Brooke was ready to practically run to bed, eager to get all four of her rewards.

Unfortunately, an hour and a half of cockwarming didn’t lend itself well to shows of athleticism, so it really wound up more like waddling, Vanessa’s loud, barking laughter chasing Brooke down the hall all the way into the bedroom.

“Meanie.” Brooke pouted as they toppled over onto the bed, giggling.

“You know you like it.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, peppering kisses anywhere she could reach on Brooke’s skin. Brooke couldn’t deny it, so she kissed back, reaching up to trace her hands over Vanessa’s body, fingertips lingering over the lines of every muscle, teeth nipping at any exposed piece of skin she could reach.

“No.” Vanessa admonished, ignoring Brooke’s grunt of surprise as she suddenly grabbed hold of the older woman’s wrists, pinning them to the bed. “Just ‘cause I’m rewarding you don’t mean you get to take charge, baby. Now be a good girl for daddy, and let me take care of you.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Brooke smirked, bringing her hips up to start grinding up against Vanessa’s. But Vanessa was ready, and so she simply reached forward and grabbed Brooke by the hair, dragging her up like it was the most casual thing in the world before grabbing the base of her toy with her other hand, bringing Brooke’s face down to meet its tip.

“Then we’re gonna have a problem, ain’t we?” Vanessa’s voice was challenging, her grip on Brooke firm. “Now, open that pretty little mouth of yours and suck, or else you’re goin’ to bed untouched.” As if to hammer in her point, Vanessa let go of Brooke’s hair and brought her hand beneath Brooke’s legs, straight down to cup her swollen cunt.

“There we go now, there’s a good girl.” Vanessa praised proudly as Brooke accepted the tip of Vanessa’s dick into her mouth, swirling her tongue over the head and replacing Vanessa’s grip on the base with her own so that she could better begin to bob her head up and down along its shaft. She smiled as she looked up at Vanessa through hooded eyelids, watching as the shorter woman cursed under her breath, her cheeks flushed while she watched Brooke continue to go down on her strap.

“You look so sexy like that, kitten, so fuckin’ sexy.” Vanessa growled breathlessly, thrusting into Brooke’s mouth. Brooke laughed against the toy’s surface before pulling back, coming off of it with a quiet, wet pop.

“Did I do good, daddy?” Brooke brought herself upright, grabbing onto Vanessa’s waist and pulling her close to kiss at her neck.

“Yes, baby, fuck , so good. So good for me.” Vanessa sighed into Brooke’s touch, her own hands wandering down to cup Brooke’s ass.

Brooke was about to say something else, about to tease Vanessa, to relax into a position of control, when suddenly, she felt herself being thrown back, her back hitting the mattress hard and Vanessa crawling on top of her, kissing and palming and biting at her body with renewed vigor.

“Now quiet down,” Vanessa snarled, pushing Brooke’s legs farther apart, “And let me fuck you.”

This time, instead of an argument or a comeback, the only thing that came out of Brooke’s mouth was a small, barely-audible whimper as Vanessa traced a finger up her slit, circling her clit with one finger while easing her dick into Brooke’s entrance.

“That’s better.” Vanessa laughed, beginning to move slowly and shallowly, more twitches than thrusts. “So, you gonna be good for daddy now?”

“Yes, daddy.” Brooke hissed as Vanessa went deeper, “I’ll be good.”

“Good. Then I owe you some rewards, don’t I?” Vanessa picked up her pace, thrusting a little faster, smirking when Brooke bucked her hips in response, trying to get even more of the sensation. “Aww, look at you, so eager. Come on, baby, ask me nicely.”

Brooke whined, but quickly changed her attitude when Vanessa slowed down a little in response.

“Please, daddy, please may I have my rewards?”

“Tell me exactly what rewards you want, sweetheart.”

“I…” Brooke sucks in a sharp breath, a sinking embarrassment suddenly curling in her stomach, making her cheeks grow hot, “I want…”

“You want?” Vanessa thrust harder into Brooke, shifting her angle slightly to hit hard right up against Brooke’s g-spot, making her cry out, “Use your words, princess.”

“Orgasms! Please, daddy, please may I have my orgasms?” The request came out in one breath, leaving Brooke dizzy, as if she’s breathed out all the air her lungs had left in them.

“Alright, baby, since you asked so nicely.”

Brooke was sure that Vanessa was probably humming with pleasure, probably whispering encouragements as she picked up her pace again, bottoming out and pulling back inside Brooke so fast she didn’t have time to catch her breath. She was sure that Vanessa was moaning herself, probably gasping with effort as she tried her best to keep up with Brooke’s pleas for more, more, please daddy, harder, faster, more. But she heard none of it, every sound subsumed by the rushing of blood in her ears, the sound of her heartbeat booming in her head, making her shake.

“Please daddy, please may I come?”

She screamed through her first climax, Vanessa’s pace not lifting up for a second.

“Please daddy, please let me come!”

Her voice became hoarse halfway through her second, cracking right as she hit her loudest volume.

“Are you gonna come again, sweetheart? Are you gonna come for me?”

Brooke’s eyes snapped shut during her third, the intensity of it rendering her absolutely unable to do anything but lay rigid and shaking.

“Daddy, I need to–I’m gonna–”

“That’s it, baby, do it, come for me, you deserve it.”

Her fourth orgasm came with Vanessa’s name on her lips, and ended with Vanessa pulling out and collapsing next to her, holding her until she fell asleep.

Brooke got a B+ on her paper, a fact they celebrated with a fifth, sixth, and seventh orgasm a week later.

[uas-fics]

Chapter 2 Of ‘The Pandering Country Western Star’

Chapter 1 - Epilogue 

---

Kiwi snuggled down in Tweek's hair as Tweek tapped his finger on the table top. Craig's livestream would start any minute. Would Craig use the script Tweek edited for him? No, he probably scrapped it. It was too much. It didn't make his fans feel good about Craig keeping his personal life a secret from them.

The more Tweek thought about the whole situation, the angrier he got about it. Coming out is hard and terrifying. No one should be pushed to come out to the world like this — especially not at the hands of a bitter ex. Craig was right to break up with him! He dodged a bullet, as far as Tweek could tell.

Tweek's phone dinged and he picked it up, keeping one eye on the laptop in front of him. 

The text message was from Craig. 

"I'm going to start my livestream soon. Wish me luck? :)“

"Luck ;)" Tweek typed and chewed his lip. 

This was too risky to send. He didn't even know how long ago Craig broke up with his ex. Was it a month? A year? Two weeks? Was he pushing too fast? 

Besides, Craig probably didn't even see Tweek like that. He was a famous country star after all. There were men much more like him out there he could pursue. Men who were famous and used to Craig’s lifestyle.

With a sigh, Tweek went to delete the wink and replace it with a star or a smile, (he hadn't decided which one) when Kiwi took hold of a lock of Tweek's hair and pulled. Tweek yelped, his thumb going right down on the send button.

His heart froze in his chest as he stared down at his mistake. A scream rose up from his throat but died down the moment the livestream started a few seconds later.

Craig smiled at the camera, waving. He held up the black and white guinea pig from his wallet photo and moved his paw to wave as well.

"Howdy," He greeted, and Tweek realized just how much of an accent Craig put on for his fans. "There's quite a crowd here, huh, Astro? I think this is my biggest livestream yet."

Astro didn't look all that impressed. Craig set him down in his lap.

"I'm guessin' you're all here because I said I've got some really big news. I can tell from the chat, you all seem to think it's music related." Craig's smile strained. "It ain't."

Craig took a deep breath, scooting a little farther back. Best Tweek could tell the livestream took place in Craig's living room, which was nothing but Western aesthetic: decorations made with wood, barbwire, and rope covered the wall behind him along with a rustic painting of a pasture with some tiny black, white, and red dots (probably cows or horses, Tweek realized) on it.

"This isn't how I wanted to do this." Craig sighed. "I had other ideas. Plans much classier than this, when I was in a much happier place in my life, but circumstances changed. I want y'all to hear this from my mouth and not the front page of a magazine."

Craig shook once. His face twisted like he was going to vomit, but he swallowed any bile back down.

"I am gay," Craig stated simply, pulling Astro so he pressed against his stomach. "I have always been gay. Since I was still in my mama. That's just how it works. That's how God made it work."

Tweek tensed. Around this part was when he started to edit out the pandering. If Craig went on about God and how He has a purpose for him, then he threw out all Tweek did and went back to the first draft.

Craig's eyes flicked up, looking beyond the camera, then back. "This has been a hard decision for me and a shock for many of you, I'm sure. Or maybe it’s not. Maybe you could all tell and never bothered to let me in on the secret."

Tweek let out a breath he did not remember taking. He slumped forward so abruptly that Kiwi fell from his hair. Kiwi landed, somewhat gracefully, if a little wobbly, on the table.

"Sorry!" Tweek reached out to comfort Kiwi, but he turned and flew up to his perch in his cage.

Craig continued, "Like I said, this isn't how I wanted this to happen. I’d rather had y'all meet my husband after we got engaged or married, but that ain't gonna happen now, I guess."

Pain flashed across his face for a fraction of a second. "I'm sure y'all find out why when Country Western Living comes out since that's where my ex outs me. I think publishing it is downright dirty and shows a lack of journalistic integrity, but I'm not a rich ol' magazine editor." He shrugged. "What do I know — besides you don’t tell other folks secrets for money?"

Tweek couldn't help but smile. Craig was going to throw that magazine right under the bus for this, wasn't he?

"I can say, I spent years hiding myself from people, both family and friends, and from the world itself. It was hard, and I felt like a liar. I heard conversations about folks like me that made my stomach churn. Conversations that I'm sure wouldn't happen if the people in the room knew I was like the people they were talking about."

He cleared his throat. "Even if it's not a perfect coming out story, I think I'll be much happier now, and I know I can make music truer to my life and with more passion than ever before. I want this to be a good thing for all of us."

Astro pipped and began to roll out of Craig's lap. Craig smiled down at him then set him on the floor.

"Don't worry about Astro. I'm still keeping an eye on him. He's safe," Craig reassured. He settled himself back in his seat before continuing, "Now, I know some of you don't ‘agree' with people being gay, and, well, I can't change your mind, but if you don't, it isn't my problem."

Craig fixed the camera with a hard look, his accent falling for the last sentence.

That wasn't part of the first draft or the edited one. Craig was supposed to offer to answer questions from the livestream after he mentioned how coming out would make his life better.

Tweek leaned so close his nose nearly touched the laptop screen. 

He was proud for Craig. 

Even as he answered, somewhat invasive, questions about his sexuality, he seemed relaxed, as if a heavy weight hanging over him just dropped to the ground and missed him.

Well that's what it was, wasn't it? No more hiding. No more lies and fake girlfriend stories. No more feeling like a gay fly on the wall when people bash the community.

"Ok, um, Little.Shop.Of.Yaoi280, I don't know what a ‘uke' or a sea...seem...see-mee? Whatever are and I don't think I want to," Craig was saying as he read through the comments. "Yes, KittyKatLover, I have read the Old Testament. I also read all the verses that say God loves me and made me how I am. That's all I want to say about that."

Tweek finally fell back in his chair, running his hands through his hair, with a goofy smile on his face. Craig handled those kinds of questions a little better than Tweek did the first few times he got then online. Nowadays he deleted invasive or backhanded comments on sight. He used to argue, sometimes with sources, sometimes without, and it would keep him up at night with worry.

He'd have to advise Craig to copy his current method and not his old one.

"Ok, I think Astro wants to go nap with his brother and sister, so one more question," Craig muttered, more to himself than the stream. "Let's see...I like this one. PikachuKetchumAll151 asks me if I could have come out like I wanted with a husband at my side, what would I have said."

He hummed a moment. "I would have announced the man with me is the love of my life and I am blessed to introduce you all to him, but that isn't going to happen any time soon, unless," Craig smirked, "I get very lucky with dates in the near future." He winked.

Tweek fell out of his chair and to the floor, eyes wide. No. Craig didn't. He didn't just ask him on a date on a livestream like that, did he?

"Oh, jeez!" Tweek's mouth gaping open like a freshly caught trout as Craig finished up.

The screen was dark for only a few seconds before Tweek's phone began to ring. Shaking, Tweek answered it without looking at the number.

"Tweek?" Craig asked. His voice was nothing but excitement. "It's over. Did you watch it? All of it?"

"Did you ask me out on a livestream?"

"Hmmmm, no," Craig replied, almost coyly, and Tweek remembered how to breathe properly. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out, actually. I'm not ready to date anyone else right now, but making friends who are also gay and have been out longer than me? I would like that."

Tweek forced his voice to stay steady as he replied, "Yeah, I'd like that too."

---

Red tapped her nails against the lacquered wood of her desk. Her stomach twisted with disgust. She might just vomit over all the negativity surrounding Craig.

She shook her head. No, it's a very vocal few. Most of the reaction towards Craig coming out as gay had been positive. He had plenty of congratulations and even some fanart for him with the Pride flag. Some celebrities even tweeted they were proud of him.

"About time. You'll be happier now, Craig! #LoveisLove" The frontman of Moop, Stan Marsh, tweeted. His partner, Red's old friend, Wendyl, as well as the rest of Moop, also sent Craig their support. Wendyl even went as far as to argue on Craig's behalf in the comments. 

Not that Red planned on showing that to Craig. She couldn't risk him getting involved in an online shouting match and ruining his aloof country boy persona.

Her eyes drifted over the copy of the magazine on her desk. Craig and Thomas were on the cover, walking out in a park and holding hands. Craig’s focus was solely on Thomas and not the beautiful scenery. They must have assumed deep in an isolated park would be a safe place for a secret date. Clearly, they were wrong. 

For what seemed like the hundredth time, Red skimmed the article. The picture Thomas claimed they would publish, one of him and Craig kissing, was nowhere to be found. Red didn’t believe Thomas lied about the photo. When he called, he was stammering nervously and the stress made his tic act up so badly he had to keep starting his sentence over and apologizing.

From Red’s best guess, the photo was probably on private property and the magazine couldn’t legally publish it, but this could use it against Thomas anyway. Not that it mattered in the end. Thomas already admitted he and Craig were dating in the article. 

Red closed the magazine then tossed it aside. Even if Thomas had been tricked into talking, he still was the reason Craig had been strong armed into coming out before he was comfortable, and that pissed Red off.

Grumbling to herself, she turned back to scrolling through the comments on Craig’s latest post, a picture of Petunia in sunglasses and a tiny cowboy hat. It never ceased to amaze her how much he dotes on his pets and treats them like his own children.

Unfortunately, even on a post of a rodent dressed as a cowgirl, people were making hateful comments and asking invasive questions.

Kevin opened the door, steaming bowls in his hand.

"I have leftover chili or microwave ramen." He held up the bowls in turn. "Which do you want?"

Red didn't look up from her computer. "Ramen."

Chili was too heavy and spicy for her stomach to handle. Kevin watered down the romen every time, so she didn't have to worry about making herself sicker.

He slipped the bowl next to her then looked over her shoulder with a frown.

"You need to take a break from those," He told her before spooning chili into his mouth.

"I want to, but I can't." She slurped up noodles. "I'm going to report every bashing comment that might break Twitter's terms of service so Craig doesn't have to see it." Twitter probably wouldn't do anything, even if the comment did break their TOS, but it made her feel better anyway, since Craig decided deleting comments would only make things worse.

Kevin rubbed between her shoulder blades. His hand was warm from the bowls, relieving some of the tension.

"Craig's a big boy, Red. He can handle some hate comments. He's probably been preparing for it for most of his adult life." Kevin set his bowl down to walk behind her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders then rested his chin on her head. Given how tall she was, when she sat was about the only time Kevin could do this.

"I know, but..." A noise of uncertainty left her throat.

He kissed the top of her head. "It'll be alright. Someone else will do something worse soon and everyone will forget about Craig being gay."

Red set a hand over one of Kevin's, smiling softly. He was such a good husband, so caring and sweet and understanding. She hoped Craig would find someone like that for himself one day.

"Hey, do you know who the guy Craig's been texting nonstop is? Some gay internet celeb, right? The one who helped him with the script?" Red asked abruptly.

"Tweek Tweak, I think is his name," Kevin replied. "I checked out his channel: he's got an alright voice and seems like a good guy. Craig really likes him. We should take bets if this is another case of Tuckers falling in love instantly."

Red rolled her eyes at the joke.

“Good thing I’m a Stoley now, huh? Or you would be worried."

Kevin laughed. “Good thing for both of us!”

Red hummed to herself a moment before pushing back her chair, nearly sending Kevin to the floor. She jumped to her feet and spun around.

"I'm done with this for tonight," Red announced, taking Kevin's hand. "You're right anyway. Craig is a big boy." She kissed his cheek. "So, com'on, let's go watch ‘Battlestar Galactica’."

---

The house was much less "Cozy Ranch, Sweet Tea with Lemon on the Table Next to a Fresh  Rhubarb Pie" Charm than Tweek expected, Craig could tell just by the confused expression on his face as he looked around the living room. After the livestream, Craig put most of the western decoration back in the attic where it usually stated. If he had to stare at a ‘Live, Laugh, Ride Horses’ on the wall all the time, he’d vomit. Every time he had tried to ride a horse before, it either nearly threw him off or tried to eat his fingers. He could live and laugh  just find without them

"Something wrong?"

"No. It's just...big. Wow. Way bigger than my apartment." Tweek spun around. "If I let Kiwi loose here, I'd never see him again."

"It's not that big," Craig defended, deciding not to mention that was the main reason he didn't like his own pets wandering outside their pen without him around. Once he and Stan and Kevin spent the better half of a day searching for Stripe when he escaped from the pen

"I think my parents' coffee shop could fit in here," Tweek muttered, bending down to get a closer look at a stone carving Craig got from a trip to Peru.

"You're parents own a coffee shop?" Craig put his hands in his pockets. "So you're from a business family?"

"It is why I have my degree in business management." Tweek reached his hand to touch the nose of the carving but flinched back. "Did you ever go to college? I mean, I think Stan said he met you in college, didn't he?"

Craig picked up the carving, making Tweek stumble back a few steps.

"I left to become a music star," He twisted the carving over, brushing his fingers along the maker's mark at the bottom, "but I was learning about the physics and chemistry required in the fuel propulsion of jets and rockets."

Tweek blinked at him. "So you left college to be a rocket scientist to sing about drinking beer and trucks."

"You know," Craig set the carving back on the table, "my parents had the same reaction."

"You could have gotten us to Mars." Tweek straightened up. "But, you know, I admire that you took the chance and left that path to follow your dream." He grinned. "Really. It's admirable. My parents would have flipped out if I dropped everything to tour." 

He paused then quickly added, "Not that I want to. I like being able to record from my house. Little stage performances are enough for me."

Craig laughed. "No, I understand. It's pretty heart pounding to have a million eyes on you at once."

Tweek shuddered at the thought.

"Hey, come on, my kids are excited to meet you." Craig put his hands on his shoulders and steered Tweek out of the living room and down the hall.

"I've been telling them only good things these past weeks," Craig continued. "How talented you are and what nice handwriting you have." He paused at a door. "I let Petunia sniff your revision, and she loved it so much she nibbled on the paper."

Tweek snorted as Craig opened the door.

The pen took up a sizeable corner of the room and was surrounded by a knee height fence. Inside were several beds and many toys and hidey holes for his pets. Craig noticed one of the sipper bottles was getting low and made a note to refill it, along with their food dish which somebody (Probably Stripe) knocked over into the bedding again.

“Wow.” Tweek’s mouth gaped. “I thought guinea pigs were kept in cages like hamsters, not something like this.”

“I built it myself,” Craig proclaimed, “though, I went a little overboard in size. Three pigs don’t need this much room.” 

His plan was to let Petunia have a litter and have himself an army of guinea pigs, but once recording and touring started up, Craig found it was hard enough providing enough care and affection for the ones he had, so he took all three to the vet to be neutered. According to the vet, they  would live happier and healthier lives that way anyway.

One of the guinea pigs shuffled around in the hammock and poked a nose out. Petunia looked around before spotting Craig. She gave a squeak and scrambled out to hurried over, probably expecting treats. Her noisy journey from the hammock made the other two peek out from sleeping under a fake log.

Craig stooped down and picked up Petunia. He held her out for Tweek to hold.

"She doesn't bite," Craig mentioned when Tweek hesitated. "Promise."

Tweek took her and held her carefully to his chest. Stroking her long, brown fur, Tweek leaned over the small fencing to look at the others.

"She's soft and those two are really cute," he complimented with a nod to Astro and Stripe the Sixth.

"Thank you. I'm proud of my boys," He reached over and scratched Petunia between the ears, "and my baby girl."

Petunia moved her head against his palm with a happy noise.

Astro grew jealous at the attention Petunia was getting and began to get rowdy in the pen to steal some of it for himself. With a smile, Craig stepped into the pen and sat down. Instantly, Astro was in his lap with Stripe the Sixth settling down next to his leg.

Tweek wavered a moment before following after Craig and taking a seat in the pen.

He opened his mouth when his body went stiff.

"Ack!" He pulled his hand to his chest. "She licked me!"

A grin spread across Craig's face.

"That means she likes you." He scooted closer so they sat side by side, much to Stripe’s annoyance as he had just got comfortable.

"Like a dog?" Tweek stared down at Petunia in awe. Clearly, Tweek hadn’t had more interactions with rodents than average house mice.

"Yes, they are very affectionate critters." He pressed his leg against Tweek's, resting his palm on Tweek’s knee. Tweek tensed, but relaxed a moment later and didn't move away.

"Oh? They are? Well, you know, this," Tweek whistled softly, "is what birds do when they like you. They talk around you and sing."

"I didn't know that." Craig leaned a little closer. Their shoulders were touching now.

"Yeah. They sing and tweet all day if they're happy and safe."

Craig hummed a wordless tune, raising his finger to brush a lock of Tweek's hair back. Before his hand left, Tweek set his on top of it to keep it against his cheek.

"Do you want to know what guinea pigs do when they like someone?" Craig tilted his face towards him.

Tweek mimicked the action, twisting his body a little and disturbing Petunia. She made a whining squeak, alerting Tweek that his action displeased her, though he paid her little mind.

"What else?" He asked as his fingers gently squeezed Craig's hand.

"Something a little like..."

The gap between them grew steadily smaller and smaller until Craig pressed his lips against his.

"This." He pulled back, tapped the ends of their noses together, then pressed his luck to kiss Tweek again.

After a few blissful moments, the two parted completely.

This time when Petunia was disturbed she crawled out of Tweek's lap to trot to Craig's. She climbed over his crossed legs and snuggled down next to Astro.

"W... w... " Tweek stammered.

For a fleeting moment, Craig's chest gripped with worry that Tweek might be trying to say "Why did you do that?!" or "What made you think I wanted that?"

"’Wicked’..." Tweek finally breathed.

A snorting laugh escaped through Craig's nose. "I guess it was. Maybe even ‘radical’ or ‘tubular’?" He teased.

"No, I mean," Tweek chuckled, "'Wicked' like the musical. Jimmy gave me tickets to a performance he's helping with next month. Would you like to come? Like as a date?"

If he could grin any wider, his face would have split right down the middle.

"I'd like that, but you know what I'd like even more?"

Tweek's face dusted pink but he smiled too.

"What?"

"You let me take you out for a date tonight since I don't want to wait a month." Craig moved Stripe to his lap as well. The two already there made irritated squeaks but allowed their sibling to snuggle down between them.

Tweek nodded, pushing his hair back from his face.

"As long as there's no mechanical bull wherever you take me." He laughed. "My friend, Jason, rode one once and broke his arm when he fell off."

Craig's expression twisted into disgust before he could stop himself. Tweek furrowed his brow, nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Tweek, I have a confession:" he took a breath, "I hate country music."

Tweek stared at him before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh, right, uh-huh." He elbowed him in the side. "That's a good one. If you want to go someplace with a bull, that's fine. Just don't expect me to ride it."

"I'm serious," Craig deadpanned. He leaned to allow his head to fall back. "I guess ‘hate’ is a strong word. I used to like it. I was raised on the stuff, after all."

Tweek lifted himself on his hands to turn to fully face him. His prompting look encouraged Craig to continue.

"When you said you thought it was admirable that I left school to pursue my passion, well, it was actually the opposite. Rocket science is my passion. Music is a job."

"What?" Tweek shook his head. "That doesn't make sense. That's not how it works."

"That's how it ended up." Craig shut his eyes. "Stan needed help taking all his Moop stuff to a venue, so I offered my car. The owner's daughter overheard me singing to myself and said she'd pay me to sing for her."

"Did you?"

"Thirty dollars for singing a cheesy country love song to a girl? Hell yeah, I did." Craig snickered at the memory. "After that, she told me she could get me on stage for a bit if I wanted. I didn't want a glamorous life of a music star, but I was a broke college student and performing there got me a free dinner and whatever tips I made."

He opened his eyes with a frown. "Then it all kind of snowballed from there. I got asked to come to sing there more and more and soon other places were asking for me, and Red offered to be my manager and before I knew it," he fell back, startling the guinea pigs, "I was famous."

Tweek stared at him, big blue eyes searching his face before he took a breath. "Why would you keep doing something that makes you unhappy?"

Craig shrugged. "Money. I sing what people want to hear from me and, until recently, pretended to be what they wanted completely. Just a good old Southern boy who sings songs that pander to other good old Southern boys."

"So, are all your songs just pandering? That can't be all you ever wrote." Tweek chewed his lip. His brow furrowed. Craig could only assume he was thinking about all the songs of Craig's he knew to check himself.

Craig pushed himself up onto his forearms. "I didn't write any of my songs, actually. When I was first starting, Red introduced me to a lyricist. He'd make the lyrics. I'd help with the instrumentals if he needed it."

"That...really?" Tweek moved to sit on his knees.

"Yeah, his name is Thomas." A pang hit his stomach, but he took a breath and went on, "Thomas actually did live a country life, a little. More to draw from than I have. He has Tourettes, and his mom sent him to a ranch camp for kids like him every summer from when he was eight to eighteen."

"Wow, so you’re really a fake," Tweek replied, unamused.

“I don’t auto tune myself or lip sing during concerts. Besides, I’m not the only one. An old member of Moop, Eric Cartman? He left to make a Christain Rock band called Faith+1. Fucker’s as far from a holy Christain man as you can get.” Craig snorted. “He’s even more in it for the money than I am. At least I care about my fans a little. That man would push them into the fires of Hell himself if he was offered a dime for it.”

“But you’re still faking! I mean,” Tweek ran a hand through his hair, “all of your songs can’t be pandering party songs, can they?”

"I do have one song that wasn't just a cash grab."

"Oh, yeah? Which one?"

"‘Hazel Eyes.'"

Tweek’s face twisted in thought as he tried to recall the song. Craig couldn't blame him if he didn't know it. ‘Hazel Eyes' barely broke the top forty for a week then faded into song obscurity. It was still his favorite, though for bittersweet reasons now.

Craig hummed the first two bars at the start of the chorus before he sang, "Black hair; Hazel eyes, looking at me with love long disguised. Hold my hand where dad and mom can't see. Let me with you and you with me. Please never look away from the future of we, my lovely hazel eyes."

Realization crossed Tweek's face.

"I remember that song. I really liked it, but didn't know the title."

Craig bobbed his head. "Thomas wrote that for me."

"Didn't he write everything for you?"

"No, I mean for me. Thomas...he was my boyfriend. I'm the ‘Hazel Eyes' the song talks about." Craig winced, realizing that bringing up a love song his ex wrote him with the man he just kissed was not his best plan.

"Oh..." Tweek chewed his lip "Wasn't Thomas the ex who..."

"Yeah, that Thomas," Craig confirmed. "I think that's another reason I don't like country much anymore. Everything I sing is by him. It's just salt in the wound."

A hand fell on his shoulder, so Craig lowered his gaze from the ceiling. Tweek smiled softly at him.

"Do you want to write a song with me? I'm not the best. I didn't go to college for it or anything, but maybe together we could make something good."

"So, what I told you isn't a deal breaker?" Craig asked.

Tweek shrugged. "No, I guess not. Maybe I can help you break into other genres, or if you want to leave professional music altogether and be a rocket scientist, I can help with that, too, if you want. I find people are much happier when they can be themselves and follow their passions."

Craig stared at him before chuckling. Tweek was such an amazing person.

---

The night wind was pleasant as Craig and Tweek walked side by side down the street. Craig readjusted his coat. For once, he didn't look like something a western store threw up on: A blue zip-up jacket over an old Moop shirt, black skinny jeans, and a chullo hat with a geometric pattern and yellow tassels.

Tweek mocked the skinny jeans when he first noticed them until Craig pointed out that's what he had on as well. At that point, Tweek blushingly hurried them into the theater to find their seats.

Craig raved excitedly about the play they'd watched. Tweek was so pleased that Craig liked it. He'd suggested it on a whim. It was the first idea his brain could provide him with that wasn't ‘kiss him again, you fool!' He hadn't expected Craig to actually agree, but he hadn't expected Craig to confess he’d grown disenchanted with singing country music, either.

"Alright, so were Elphaba and Glinda low key in love or something? Or am I just reading that subtext now that I'm allowing myself to?" Craig wanted to know, lightly swinging their combined hands while they passed under a streetlamp.

Tweek laughed. "I've never read the book, but in the musical, it's platonic, I think."

"You've never read the Wizard of Oz?" Craig stopped and fixed Tweek with a startled expression.

"What? Of course, I have!" Tweek scoffed. "‘Wicked' is based on a book that’s based on the ‘Wizard of Oz’. I've never read it, so I don't know if Elphaba and Glinda are lovers there or not."

Craig chuckled. "Well, I'm going to assume they fucked at Shiz at least once."

With a chuckle of his own, Tweek began to reply when a new voice cut him off.

"Hey! Hey! Craig, you—cocksucker!”

Tweek flinched, spinning around. Sooner or later, he knew some crazed fan would come to harass them. Why did it have to be tonight though? Even with the skinny jeans thing, the night was going so well!

As the man neared, Tweek’s heart pounded in his ears. They weren't too far from the theater, so there had to be more patrons nearby who could call the police if a fight broke out, right? 

Scanning around, he saw only a huddle of people across the street, though they seemed to pay the couple and the yelling man no mind.

A disheveled man with short, messy hay-colored hair ran up to them and Craig stiffened. The man had bags under his eyes so deep that they rivaled the ones Tweek had when he was in the worst of his teenage anxieties.

"S-sorry!" He stammered, doubling over to pant. "I didn't mean to say--fuck!--that."

Tweek straighten. He wasn't much taller than the man, and nowhere near as tall as Craig, but he could be intimidating if he wanted to be.

"What do you want? We're busy right now," Tweek told him firmly. If they left quickly before this man started shouting at them, the night could still be salvaged.

Craig put his hand on Tweek's shoulder. He turned to him, and Craig shook his head.

With a deep breath first, Craig looked to the man. In an uninterested tone, he greeted, "Hello, Thomas."

Tweek stifled a gasp. Thomas? The Thomas? The one who forced Craig to out himself? That asshole?

Rage bubbled up in Tweek. He gritted his teeth and curled his hands into fists. If this jerk tried to cause trouble he would—

Craig wrapped his hand around his and squeezed without breaking eye contact with Thomas.

Thomas looked at their hands then looked away guiltily.

"Craig, I need to talk to--asshole! I need to talk to you." He chewed his lip. "Please."

"Why? So you can sell whatever I say to a magazine again?" Craig somehow remained coolly detached when he spoke. Thomas winced as if Craig just punched him in the gut.

"Craig, please, I didn't mean to. They had--they had a picture of us and--Balls shit!--we were kissing. How could I reply to that? Mother fucker! There was nothing I could have done! They would have run the picture anyway if I didn't answer. I--shit cock!-- I had to tell the truth!"

Thomas slumped forward, shrinking down like a dog about to be scolded for breaking a vase.

"I'm sorry. I did what I thought was best for you."

All at once, Craig’s aloof attitude broke. A low growl ripped from his throat as he stomped forward a step, getting into Thomas' personal space.

Jabbing a finger at his chest, he snarled, "‘Best for me'? If you wanted what was best for me you would have called me when it happened. Not Red. Me. You would have stood by me and helped me figure this out, but you wussed out on me and didn’t even answer my calls."

Thomas’ breath shook as he took it. He blinked hard, but under the streetlamp's light, he couldn't hide that his eyes were wet. 

A pang of pity hit Tweek's stomach. 

Thomas still loved Craig and probably did do what he thought was best. The cold indifference then a blast of sheering hot fury must have hurt more than Thomas let on.

Tweek reached out and grabbed a tassel of Craig's hat. Pulling it, he managed to make Craig step back.

"I'm sorry. I got scared, Craig! I'm not...Look at me! Who would want to come out dating someone like me?" He whimpered.

"I did — would! I never gave a fuck about your tics or how you looked." He squeezed Tweek's hand so hard, that Tweek bit back a yelp. Craig didn’t notice. "But that doesn't matter now, I guess. Goodbye, Thomas."

Craig pulled Tweek down the street. Tweek looked over his shoulder to see Thomas sigh heavily and slowly walk the way he came. The huddle of people instantly turned their attention to him when he neared. They started to console Thomas, but Craig took Tweek around a corner before he could see more.

"Craig..." Tweek started, "Um...that was—"

"Harsh?" Craig stopped, and Tweek bumped into his back. "Yeah, I know. It's the first time we've seen each other in months. He's been avoiding me. I guess it all came up at once."

Tweek twiddled his thumbs. It wasn't his place to say, but he couldn't hold his tongue on this. "I think he really was sorry."

"Yeah, I know," Craig repeated. "I know." He sighed. "Sorry. I just...I'll forgive him some time, but not right now. He threw my whole life out of sync and didn't even have the guts to help me set it back up. I think I'm entitled to making him squirm a little."

Tweek shrugged nervously. "Yeah, maybe, but you're not going to make him suffer too much, right?" 

At least Thomas seemed to have friends to help him through Craig’s retribution, but Tweek still felt pity for him. Breaks up hurt, he knew that from experience, but all Tweek's breakups had been over issues much more trivial or minor than what Craig and Thomas went through.

"Another couple of weeks or a month, and I'll reach out," Craig muttered after a moment's thought, "but, Thomas and I are over. I couldn't ever trust him fully again." He flashed a smile at Tweek before taking his hands gently in his. "At least, I got one good thing out of this."

He bent down and kissed Tweek, slow and sweet. Tweek chuckled and rested his forehead against his.

"I wish I'd been able to meet you when I was younger. I think you would have made an awesome first boyfriend," Craig said with a lopsided smile. 

"You know, I think I just thought of a great idea for a song if you'd like to head back to my place for the night and work on it," Tweek offered.

"I'd love that."

---

AN: Epilogue posted in a week

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 6)

A/N: Y'all I'm so mad cos this is my third attempt in posting this and hoping it would appear as I load my page. Btw, thanks to everyone who supported this series so far, your comments and reblogs really hype me up to write more even when I don't feel like a confident writer ☺ ☺

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, a hangover, fluff, slight swearing and angst.

Word count : 3k+

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care , @mrsdoradominguez-barnes , @mickmoon

Parts: 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1

(Edited)

The first thing you usually expect the second you wake up is the sinking feeling of your plush mattress cradling your entire body, down to the last, visible patch of skin. Your room laced and embellished with an aesthetic ray of sunshine seeping through the gaps of the beige curtains, the light subtly refracting off of every daft corner.

But your current location bodes the contrary. You run your hand over the fabric you're laying on, the familiarity of it arousing you to sit up, ultimately finding yourself on the couch in your living room.

Just as you begin questioning why you're here and not in your own sleeping quarters, a blunt ache spreads in your head and you bring your hands up to your hair, pulling on the roots at the sudden, morning agony. You let out a gritty groan at the throbbing sensation, like someone is bashing you in the head with a hammer that's travelling in the speed of sound. You fall back onto the couch in a low cry to numb the pain, but blessed to find the Aspirin Joe had left last night on the coffee table for you to take– but you don't remember that.

You don't think twice before swiping it from the tray, desperate to alleviate the throbbing. You pop the pill in your mouth and wash it down with the glass of water from the tray, gasping as you feel it swirl down your system. In a breath of relief, you place the glass back on the tray and try to recall every bit that's happened last night.

You get one thing straight; you were heavily drunk and of course, waking up with an apparent hangover decreases your chances of remembering anything the previous night. However you do recall some stuff. Two of them being the moment you had your first drink with your colleagues and Joe arriving a minute after you had your seventh swig, respectively. You wonder if he was the one that took you back.

He has to be. Who else would put essentials, Chinese food and a cup of coffee on the table with a note that has been signed with a blotted 'Joe'?

You wonder where he is at the moment, if ever he's gone home or just presently in the bathroom. As soon as your headache subsides, you get off from the couch, grunting as you stretch your limbs from the position you slept in. You pull on your collar and take a whiff of sweat, perfume and vodka all merged into one, pungent emission. You grimace to yourself, hurriedly making your way to the bathroom to wash up, swearing to never drink like that again.

Upon stepping foot in front of the door, you grab onto the knob and put very little to no thought of what's about to unfurl, twisting it open only to be greeted by a hard bump on your first step in. You yelp as you stumble forward, expecting to greet the floor with a bone breaking kiss yet something hard and meaty cushions you from underneath instead. You lift your head up and lo, you've landed on no other than Ben's clothed chest.

Or rather Ben himself.

What the fuck is he doing here?!

No longer holding back that gasp, you prop yourself up on your hands that are on either side of Ben's head, his face dangerously close to yours with his hot breath fanning against your cheeks.

Since you have both landed on the moist tiles of the bathroom, getting up in a prim position is not going to be an easy task.

"Oh god, um, h-hey." You, unfortunately,utter quickly, your stutter evident. You're an inch away from kissing him and apparently, running out of breath from supporting yourself on your arms, plus your hands are gradually slipping on the tiles thereby lowering you even further.

Ben's bright, green eyes remain as comically wide as they could ever be, the corner of his lips twitching to a small smile as he responds with a hoarse yet guttural, "Good morning."

You have to admit one way or another, his messy, blond hair flopping on all sides and shaping his face in that manner must be illegal.

You shift just an inch to plant your fingers firm on the tiles, hoping to throw yourself off of him by the time you get a good angle to start from. Ben notices your struggle and suggests something else with his cheeks growing redder by the second.

"I'm going to pretend that this isn't awkward and allow you to just fall."

You give him small glimpses due to the agonizing proximity between your faces. "That's a terrible idea. I'm going to end up mushing your face and I know you wouldn't want that."

"You're slipping. You can't launch yourself up in that position." He mutters quickly with how fast you're sinking into him. Counting, you have at least a few seconds before your arms give in to the pressure and you make unwanted contact with Ben's face.

"Come on, Y/N. Joe would be furious by the time he returns and you're not up yet." He teases you and you feel his breath growing hotter along with his accelerated heartbeat as you de-escalate. You wish you could hit Ben for making fun of the situation right now. Rolling your eyes heavenward, you drop your head low and let your arms slide open, your face landing right into the crook of Ben's neck with your upper body slamming against his chest, the impact pushing out a low grunt from him.

Your breath against his neck has left him oddly shivering but you don't notice.

A success, you throw yourself off of him and haul him up along with you. "I won't tell Joe as long as you don't tell Rosy." He banters and you smack his chest playfully. He thanks you and asks how you're feeling after such a night.

You shrug. "I'm fine now after taking that Aspirin."

"Joe's gone out to buy breakfast. The two of us kinda crashed here for the night to look after you." A little bashful, Ben rubs his nape and it makes your heart skip a beat.

"That's thoughtful of you, boys. But what about-" a certain memory flashes in your mind and you recall spotting Ben with Rosy at the pub last night. You don't hesitate to ask him about the possibility of Rosy questioning his whereabouts, leaving out the bit of you seeing them both at the pub. "What about Rosy?"

Ben walks out of the space with you and leans against the wall. "Don't worry, she knows I'm with you and Joe."

You stop yourself from asking him any more questions to avoid friction, especially since you're still hung up on his engagement. You nod and re-enter the bathroom to rinse yourself, pausing halfway to peer at him over your shoulder, a smug smile present in your expression. "Your cologne was insulting."

Ben gives half a shrug, pursing his lips proudly at the fact. "Yours was not bad either, the vodka highlighted it." He chuckles and you tut, closing the door and facing the vanity mirror with your hands clutched on either side of the sink.

You scoff at the fading, crimson glow in your cheeks, even so at the fact that Ben's was just as bright as yours and he could've passed as a tomato at that moment. But that blush was born out of awkwardness.

Yours meant something else.

It definitely is a weird morning.

Half an hour later, Joe returns with a paper bag full of fruits and is welcomed by the sight of Ben having a quiet cup of decaf on the couch, man spreading and waiting for life to happen.

"Hey, mate." Ben greets without bothering to turn his head around. Joe narrows his eyes at your absence from the spot Ben is now kicking back on. "Hey. Where's Y/N?"

"Loo. She's taken the aspirin by the way."

Joe nods, blinking twice. He pads towards the kitchen with the paper bag cradled in his arms, setting them down on the counter and pulling out two apples. Right after wiping your face dry, you step out of the bathroom fresh and sling your face towel around your neck, seeing Joe and Ben chat up with bitten apples in hand. You approach them and take out a seat from the edge of the table, darting your eyes at either of them. "Quick question. What are you boys waiting for exactly?"

"Just for you to finish up. I bought some fruits by the way." Joe reminds you with his mouth full.

"You didn't have to?"

He sighs, less than willing to feel defeated. "But I wanted to, besides," a sly glint twinkles in Joe's eye as he furtively flicks his eyes at Ben who is across him, "I'd be a bad boyfriend if I didn't. My baby's got a hangover and she needs her vitamins." If it were only possible to do an effective spit-take with your own saliva, you would have done it by now. Pretty sure you could hear Ben's breath hitch in his throat.

You don't want to draw your brows together as a reaction to that, it might give away the lie. As much as you want to protest and possibly nudge Joe for not giving you a heads up, this was your doing in the first place and Joe's just keeping up with it, by somehow trying to make Ben jealous...and slightly uneasy. You nod slowly, reaching out to snatch Joe's apple and taking a huge crunch of it as it takes up all the courage you've dredged not to break eye contact with him, before handing it back to a stunned Joe. "Now you're a good boyfriend." You click your tongue and wink back at him, walking away to change your clothes.

Ben would be lying to himself if he denies getting dazed as you gave Joe the eye. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat at how unusual that was. Of course, that was just you playing along and you feel as if you've tainted yourself with that flirtatious ogle.

Throwing a fresh shirt on, your phone lights up with a notification. You find that it's from the institution and it's been a while since they've emailed you.

Apparently your date of departure has been rescheduled to the 26th of February and it's a relief to know that you have a month left to gather important papers and prepare your passport. You tuck your phone away and exit your bedroom. You and the boys talk for a while and share some laughs as you whip up fruit smoothies in the kitchen, the messy tendencies far from being absent between every taunt.

Soon after finishing your drinks and helping you clean up the mess you've made in the kitchen, they remind you of a certain event they'd want to drag you along to.

"What is it? " You ask, wiping your hands.

Joe flails his arms as he gushes. "The Oscars! BoRhap has been put up as potential candidate, according to Brian."

Your eyes widen along with the smile on your face. "No way! Really?"

Ben grins even wider. "Yes, really! The possibility of Rami bringing home a 'Best Actor' award would be huge! I mean, you've seen the film thrice with me, surely you can conclude that his-"

"His performance was flawless. Yes Ben, I said that the first time I saw the film." You trail him off humorously and shift your pleased gaze at either of them. "I'm so happy for you, guys. Really. Rami's not the only one that's deserving of the award. You all do. I'm suing if they don't call the rest of you up the stage."

They let out a prolonged yet soft 'aww' at your faith in them, bringing you in for a tight hug. You enjoy the bliss for a few seconds before letting go.

"By they way, Y/N. When are you leaving?" Your expression flits faster than you could command it to as Joe puts up the question.

Be still, my throbbing fist.

You feel your heart quicken as Ben's smile slowly vanishes, looking mildly confused. "Leaving? What do you mean?"

You never told Joe about keeping it a secret from Ben the first time, the only person you told was Lucy. Taking advantage of Joe's delay to answer, you quickly dive in to speak. "Leaving for...a retreat!"

Not being the answer he expected, Joe opens his mouth to protest, but you give him the look to zip it and luckily, he does, opting to hear the explanation of the your decision later. You turn to Ben whose face couldn't contort any further from being baffled. You reassure him softly. "We're hosting a retreat at work this February. Just a few days out of town."

I suck at lying.

Ben could only ever mouth a soundless 'oh' as a response. Guilt dreads you from inside, knowing very well the pointlessness of hiding something important as you leaving to study medicine abroad from Ben. Your best friend. It sounds melodramatic and you're well aware of that but the possibility of the spark of your friendship going out the moment he says 'I do' is just inevitable.

You feel it in your gut and never have your intuition failed you.

Zoning out momentarily with the boys being oblivious to it, you faintly hear Joe ask Ben the date of his wedding. Your heart races at his significant mention of date. "Rosy and I have been planning it for a week now and decided on the 26th."

"This month?"

"February, mate."

The days went by fast. You felt like a bee working your ass off nonstop for nearly a month. Sure you got breaks, in the summit of weekends but you could rarely enjoy every passing second with a hodgepodge of obligations in mind. You just got off work with extra cash to purchase a new bag to use for when you depart, despite you being scheduled on the 26th of this month. The date didn't put you on edge before Ben's announcement of his wedding date and now, you can't help but worry.

You walk along the lines of luggage bags on display, finally picking out a silver one with the appropriate space to fill. You ask the sales clerk for the price and she tells you it's in no more than 150 pounds, which is enough. While waiting in line to pay, you brush arms with a slightly, taller figure, not bothering to look at them as you apologize.

"Y/N?"

That voice. You dart your eyes to your left, having your mood alter as you find Rosy smiling at you. "Oh. Hey, Rosy. What are you doing here?" You question, nearly impassive. Not that you aren't thrilled to run into her here - not that you are as well - but the best friend versus fiancee cliche is just not something you wanted to deal with in the first place.

"Just purchasing this purse," she waves a silver purse laced elegantly with sequins it before you, "what have you got there?" She gestures to the luggage bag you're holding. You restrain yourself from giving her the 'what does it look like, dumbass' face and answer monotonously, sighing. "Luggage...bag."

"Ah, any plans for the month to be in need of that?"

"Uh yeah. A retreat." Definitely not.

Rosy bobs her head slowly and you take a step forward, your turn coming up. "That's great. Ben and I are flying to LA this weekend to find a venue for our wedding, you know," she gives you a saccharine smile and your stomach churns, not from the news - it's nothing new - but at her delivery. It's as if she's reminding you of the line between you and Ben, and that you should always remain at the end of your line. You're pretty aware of that, you always have been that a reminder is never needed. Your eyes flicker briefly to her right hand by accident, catching an emerald-crusted, engagement ring glistening around her ring finger. The sight of it leaves a hard lump in your throat.

"That's nice. You're really having your wedding outside the country, huh?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

You shrug, pursing your lips and taking a step forward, nearly reaching the counter. "Nothing against it. I just think the expenses would be too much."

She scoffs at you, flipping her red hair to the side in an indirect yet uppity manner. "You know, Ben was right about you being the thrifty one. That's where he got it from."

You're not having any of this today. "It's an honor, in all honesty." You retort with a sarcastic smile before taking the spot in front of the registrar, your response turning Rosy a little sour. After the cashier sticks the receipt to the handle of the luggage bag, you drag it along with you but pause as Rosy reminds you smugly.

"You're invited, remember that."

It almost seems as if she knows how you feel about Ben and on top of that, she's handing you the reminder on purpose to prod you to your limit but you couldn't care less about what she thinks. She's got him. What else does she want?

When you first thought she wouldn't mesh with Ben well, your gut really stood out. But Ben loves her for possibly a couple of reasons and with nothing particularly overlooked so you have no choice but to accept that she will be playing a huge part in his life.

Their wedding day is the day you leave anyway, so that advantage has saved you the pain and the killer heels. It should be the very least of your worries.

You brush off her words and set a course for home, eager to slam the door shut and sleep through the entire stress.

On your way to your car, your phone rings for the seventh time today and you answer, opening the trunk to put your luggage bag in. "Hello?"

"You know it's stupid, I'm just behind you and this feels pointless."

You turn on your heels quickly and shake your head in bemusement even with your blood rushing headlong, putting your phone back into your pocket and nearly throwing a fist at Ben who's laughing from the shock on your face as you turned around.

How convenient.

I was just thinking of you.

"You idiot, what brings you here? I thought you had a convention to go to or something."

He jerks his shoulders up and takes a few steps closer to you. "Just took off from it. I came by to pick up Rosy."

It has become a challenge to maintain the look you have on right now. "Ah. Kinda ran into her back there."

"Really? What were you buying?"

Your nose crinkles as the breeze blows against your face. "Just a luggage bag."

He hooks his thumbs into his pockets, altering his stance. "For that retreat thing?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you should get in. What kind of fiance are you waiting out instead of making an effort to find her in there?" You taunt him a little and he brings his hand up to his mouth, covering it as to hide the grin that's taken shape. "I'll be in after asking you if you want to tag along to the awards."

You gawk mindlessly at him for a ticking second, scoffing. "For real? No, Ben. You know me. Award ceremonies and parties, especially the ones mostly filled with people who hold their noses up high, are not my strong suit." You express lightly, raising your hand up at him as you politely decline. The amused look on his face is one thing you wish to wipe off but enjoy beholding nevertheless. "Come on. You don't like parties but you've been to mine."

"That's because I did it for you."

"Would you go to this one for me too?" He's pulled off a look that would be hard for you to say no to. You stare up at his hooded eyes with one brow creased, weighing in mind your decision. You sigh in defeat, hoisting your hands up in surrender. "Fine!"

He pumps his fist in the air and cheers. "Yes! Joe's gonna be thrilled with this too."

"Pfft, why?"

"Um, he's your boyfriend? And he needs his date? You're doing this for him mostly? " He reminds you once more in a 'duh' tone, underlining it as a question in answer. It would take you the will of a warrior to resist whacking him in the face with your luggage bag but you're certain you've done that in an alternate timeline somehow. You cross your arms together and turn around to the driver's seat.

"So are you down really?" Ben questions one more time in a nervous tone, making sure of your willingness to go. You climb into your car and slam the door close, rolling down your window and lifting your brows at him, noting. "24th. I got it."

He flashes a contented beam at you and waves slowly. "I'll see you soon." One reassuring nod from you and you turn on your ignition, stepping on the gas and driving just a few feet away from him. You stop the car midway through the exit and peer at the outside mirror through which you see Rosy leap into Ben's arms happily, having him lower her afterwards for a sweet kiss. It doesn't take you a couple of seconds to look away and continue down the road, swallowing the lump in the back of your throat.

The sight still takes a toll on you.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Give In (Part II)

Idris Elba X Reader “Zanzee” Mini Series (6 Part Mini Series)

 Warning: Wild, wild thoughts, angst

 Word Count: 3.9K

 Summary: For the past 5 months has worked on the set of the “Hobbs & Shaw” movie. She works close to all the main actors and is there to answer any whim they may have as the "Set Concierge". She holds herself to a high professional level and refuses to stray from the right side of that pesky, thin grey line that those in the entertainment industry easily jump over.

 Note: Will go through 1 week in the life of Zanzee Grant. Y'all I’m afraid this is as close as I will EVER get to a one shot. SMH. I cannot write a one shot to save my life.

 ***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

 ***Interactive Chapter***(Click the links, I am not tryna get flagged)

 ****Thank you guys for reading. I appreciate it as ALWAYS! If you enjoyed this please LIKE and REBLOG. ❤️  ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday

You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling of your bedroom. You glanced at the clock; 4 AM. You groaned while closing your eyes. You were pulled back into the memory from last night. The memory of nearly knocking yourself out with the weight of Idris’…. You were at a loss as what to call it. You did know that it was meaty, the weight of it on your forehead told you that the rumors about him being called “Big Driis” were not exaggerations at all. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip and released a low moan. Unconsciously your hand moved from their place atop the mattress and traveled across your stomach downward to the apex of your thighs.

Before you knew it your fingers had a mind of their own and were quickly working you to a release, a release with Idris on your mind. You thought about all the times over the last five months where the two of you interacted, the little touches that probably meant nothing, the smiles—god that man’s smile was something of pure godly power. He smiled, and it was clear to see how he could get any woman he pleased. Your breath caught in your throat forcing a strangled gasp from your lips, and it was then you felt the first stirs of your release. Your fingers sped up chasing the release your body so desperately wanted. You zeroed in on a memory of Idris changing.

You’d accidentally walked into his trailer with some rewrites and the new wardrobe and was in time to see him zipping up his leather pants still without a shirt. In your embarrassment, you quickly turned your back and apologized profusely. He was cool about it, but you’d had enough time to glance over the hardened plane of his eight pack and his mouth-watering obliques that dipped in giving those two chiseled lines that drove women crazy since the beginning of time.  It was there your memory lingered, and it was then your orgasm erupted through you. You screeched at the force of it surging through you and the ecstasy that followed.

 “Jesus!”

 Your body slowly returned to its normal temperature, and your heart rate slowed down. You swallowed painfully; it had taken everything out of you. You slowly sat up knowing you were not going to go back to sleep and knowing you were fucked. You’d be thinking about this all day. You got out of bed, stretched, walked to your music system and found your “wake up” playlist. You pressed play and began your routine. The loud music helped you push your dreams, and moments ago out your head and prepare for the long day ahead.

 By the time your chauffeured car pulled up to the lot you had thirty minutes to spare. You sat there a few moments longer and stared out the window at the hustle and bustle of set life. You closed your eyes and did some meditation breathing you’d learned. You focused and centered yourself and made a mental list of things to accomplish for the day.

 “My to-do list for today, and part of my to-do list for tomorrow, also a head start on the end of the week cast and crew dinner,” you recited.

 You’d been tasked with it yesterday as if you didn’t already have a lot to do. You sighed out once more, rolled your shoulders back and raised your head high. You stepped out the car and walked across the lost eyes forward and focused. A few people hurried to you holding out folders and stacks of paper, you took them all and skimmed them as you walked to your trailer. When you stepped inside you dropped your bags and took off your sweater and took another few seconds to practice your breathing.

 “You are a professional Z, pro-fes-inal,” you slowly enunciated.

 You took a sip from your latté cup and flipped through the pages you’d been given. It was all set changes, script changes, new requests, tasks to complete to ensure the shots for later in the day went off without a hitch and things of that sort. You heard a faint knock at the door and turned telling them to come in. Ethan stepped up into the trailer with a bright smile on his face.

 “Hey Z.

 You give him a friendly smile.

 “What’s up Ethan?”

 “Tonight, the rest of us were meeting up at Troy’s Pub to unwind, wanted to see if you wanted to come along.”

 You leaned against one of the tables, already feeling the word “no” form on your tongue.

 “Before you say no, think about it, see how the day plays out. Who knows, you might need it,” Ethan said. You nodded.

 “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

 He nodded with a smile as he turned to leave. Before he did, he stopped and smiled back to you.

 “You look good today Z.”

 As quickly as he said it, he was gone. You smirked to yourself. It was the worst kept secret on set that Ethan had a crush on you, a secret you knew but ignored. If actors slept around with anyone, the same could be said about other set assistants, they all slept with each other. You turned back around and finished up.

 When you walked across the lot to the morning huddle, you felt small butterflies flit in the bottom of your stomach forcing your palms to sweat. You stood to the back and listened to Peter, the assistant director as he spoke about the day’s vision and whatever other nonsense he needed to get out. He was a lot wordier than David, and you had no idea why.

 After almost ten minutes he finished, and everyone began clearing out. You saw Dwayne’s back and knew Idris and Jason weren’t far from him. You slowly approached them, cautiously as if you were some timid peacock. Halfway there you snapped out of it, straightened your back and remembered you were a bad bitch, a professional bad bitch. You sped up your steps and walked over to them. Jason saw you first.

 “Good morning Z,” he said with a smile, a smile you returned.

 “Good morning Jason, Dwayne,” you responded noticing Idris was missing. You quickly looked around scanning the nearby vacuity for him but didn’t see him.

 “He was called to do a different shoot across town. He’s filming the car chase scene,” Jason filled in. You nodded as you remembered the scene but didn’t see it on the schedule.

 “Interesting, it’s not on the schedule for the day.”

 “David changed his mind last minute; you know how he is, which explains Peter here instead,” Dwayne finished.

 You nodded and handed them each their coffee.

 “Jason, I thought we’d switch it up today, I found a nice Columbian blend that I think will put the Moroccan one as your number two,” you added. He smiled and took a sip. You waited for the verdict. He nodded his agreement.

 “Eh, it’s good I won’t lie, it’s very close between the two,” Jason admitted.

 “See, I told you I’m good.” He smiled and nodded.

 “Is there anything you both need before I take the trip to the set across town?”

 Both Dwayne and Jason shook their heads indicating they needed nothing.

 “Okay, I’ve left the menus for lunch in your trailers, shoot me a text to tell me what it’s gonna be, and I’ll have it for you. Also, text me if you need anything at all,” you explained. They both nodded, Jason, waved you off before turning around to look at the set still being finished. You scoffed and shook your head.

 “All right Jason, I know when I’m not wanted,” you joked.

 “You’re not needed here, he needs you over there,” he slid out. Your smile slipped as you tried to grasp his meaning. As if he knew he tripped you up he smiled and turned back around.

 You walked away to one of the set cars and began your projected twelve-minute drive to the second set.

Once you arrived, you looked at the chaos around. Crowds were surrounding the set, everyone trying to snap a picture of what was going on. There were groups of women holding up signs for Idris, Jason, and Dwayne. One of those signs read “I used to be a ballerina; I can do the split in four different ways, I can show you, Idris.” You couldn’t help yourself; you loudly laughed as you approached security. You showed him your badge, and he allowed you access. You walked through the swarm of crew members and made your way to the tent you knew the actors were. You juggled the items in your hands and maneuvered through the bodies littering the set. You saw Idris walk from underneath the tent out toward the row of cars. You watched the way he walked, that wide leg dip of a bow-legged man. It was attractive as hell, and it always commanded your attention. You stepped underneath the tent and smiled at the other crew members. David, the director, stood up and clapped his hands together.

 “Quiet on set! Idris, you’ve got the scene?”

“Got it,” he answered. David nodded, stepped behind the lens and held his hand up signaling for all movement and sounds to cease. He counted down from five with his fingers and then pointed indicating the beginning of the scene.

 In an instant, Idris leaped into action. You watched the high intensity; action scene unfold before you. There was limited dialogue just Idris showcasing why he was becoming one of the top actors to consider for an action role. He ran across the street, slide over the hood of the fancy Lamborghini, landing on his feet before he drew a gun from the holster on his thigh. He acted as if he pulled the trigger and eight loud, realistic gunshots sounded on the set. From behind him, a woman came attempting to kick him in the head. As quickly as he slid across the hood, he spun around, grabbed her leg and slammed her against the wall of the brick building thus beginning one of the fancy martial arts choreographed fight scenes. You stepped behind David and looked through the lens. It looked good, he was good.

 The scene continued for another minute before David yelled “cut.” Everyone on set clapped.

 “Yes, that is exactly what I wanted. Great work,” David complimented. Idris nodded as he approached the tent. A few other crew members patted him on the back and congratulated him, he accepted the praise but said nothing. The moment he saw you, you saw the blood on his eyebrow. Your smile faltered as worry rang through you. You approached him as he sat down.

“Hey Z,” Idris said.

 “You’re hurt. Are you okay?” you stooped a little to get eye level with his face and examined his eyebrow.

 “I’m all right, occupational hazard,” Idris joked. You ignored him and touched his temple. He sucked in a breath.

 “Yeah, you’re hurt. We need a medic,” you said before you rose to turn to notify one of the set handles. Idris grabbed your hand forcing you to look at him. You looked at his hand around your wrist and then to him.

 “I’m fine Z, it’s just a little cut,” he explained.

 “Still, it’s their job to ensure the actors are okay. Someone should patch you up.

 “It’s also your job to make sure I have everything I need. So, if I need a medic, you should patch me up,” he said his voice low. The words caught you off guard making you freeze.

 Everything in you felt like that was a line. You felt like he was being flirtatious, but you couldn’t be sure. You bit your bottom lip and studied his face. He slowly let your wrist go the longer it took you to speak, and before long he broke the stare. It sure as hell wasn’t your job to clean his wounds, and it sure as hell wasn’t your job to touch him unless necessary, but everything in you wanted to. You wanted to nurse his wounds, wanted to touch him, everywhere, endlessly. Your palms tingled with how badly you felt the urge. You lifted your hand to reach for him, it brought his attention back to you but before either of you could make another move David approached. Once he saw the blood, he called medical over, and in an instant, the opportunity passed, but the air between the two of you was still charged. You turned your back to him and tried to compose yourself. You took several deep breathes and used it as a needed reprieve to get a grip on your thoughts and emotions.

 Once you turned around, he was cleaned up. You cleared your throat, took up his coffee and the stack of papers and proceeded, business as usual.

 “I have your coffee here, it may not be as scalding as you like, that’s my fault I’m sorry. I didn’t know your shoot was switched up today. It won’t happen again,” you explained.

 “It’s fine Z, I’ll still take it,” Idris appeased as he reached out for the cup. As he took it from your hands, his fingers brushed yours, and that was all it took for the electricity to spark within you. You forced yourself to keep a straight face, careful not to give anything away. He took a long sip from the cup and moaned.

 “Nothing like a British blend,” Idris sighed out. You smirked to yourself.

 “Also, your schedule, I think you have a few minutes to go over it,” you said handing him a copy of the schedule. For the next few minutes, you explained the changes and every obligation he had that day. Once you were finished, he nodded.

 “All right; got it.”  You nodded as well.

 “Okay, well that’s it for me for now. Do you want anything else from me?” he looked up at you, and his eyes dropped to your mouth and then slowly over your body before he shook his head and looked back to your face.

 “Like what?”

 You shrugged and smiled.

 “Uh, I don’t know, anything I guess,” you said unsure how to answer his question.

 “Anything. Huh, I need—” he trailed off as he stared at you. You waited for him to finish his sentence, silently hoping he would finish the sentence with the word “you.” He took a deep breath in and slowly released it, the look on his face spoke of annoyance, and something else, something close to what you imagined as disappointment.

“No Z, you’ve been great, thank you,” he said standing from his monogrammed chair. He began walking away from you toward the director and a circle of other crew members. You stood there feeling like a lost puppy, filled with disappointment.

 You stayed on set for fifteen more minutes before you left to go back to Lot A to get cracking on the rest of your tasks when you left Idris was nowhere in sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How is it possible for you to work so much?” Ethan asked, leaning against the door frame of your trailer. You looked back at him and smiled.

 “Well, I have this thing called a drive to be successful,” you teased.

 “Ouch, burn,” Ethan feigned faux hurt as he held his chest.

 “What’s up?”

 He walked further in and sat across from you.

 “How are the plans coming for the end of the week?”

 You sighed and rubbed your forehead.

 “Well, you’re looking at them. Whose damn idea was it to have a weekly cast and crew dinner?”

 “That would be Peter; he thinks it helps with team building and not keeping the actors and the crew separate. I actually like it,” Ethan explained. You nodded.

 “Great. So why can’t we just recycle the same concept every week and simply reserve the same thing in advance?”

 “Again Peter, he thought it would be fun to switch up themes every week,” Ethan added. You rolled your eyes.

 “If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you and Peter hang out off set,” you said. Ethan scoffed and shook his head.

 “Do you want some help? I don’t mind.”

 You looked over his face. There was a time (the first day you got on set) that you thought he was cute and thought maybe, but that changed quickly (fourth day on set) when you caught him and Tammie going at it behind one of the trailers. Since then you kept it all in perspective.

 “No, I’m good. Thanks,” you answered.

 “All right, was just checking in on you and dropping off this stuff for you,” Ethan said pointing behind him at a rack of clothes, and the stack of papers. You groaned and shook your head.

 “Writers, they need a life, they write too damn much, nothing everything needs to be said and resaid in fifteen hundred different ways,” you ranted as you approached the stack of what you knew were rewrites. You took up the stack and rifled through them and nodded as your suspicions were confirmed.

 “We all have a role to play Z; catch ya’ later.” He closed the door behind him leaving you alone with your frustrations. You knew this wasn’t work frustrations, this was lite work, you’d done some truly hard set work before, and this was in the middle. This you could handle. You knew where your frustrations were coming from and that was precisely what made you even more irritable. You rolled your head around stretching your tense muscles and counted.

 You didn’t feel anywhere near calm until you’d reached eighty. You were now trecking through the lot to distribute wardrobe and rewrites to the actors’ trailers. You glanced at your phone, eight twenty. At this time, you knew Jason, Idris and Dwayne were filming another night scene across town, that thought gave you some comfort. Whenever Idris was near your body automatically went into a heightened state of suspension, it wouldn’t relax, and the longer you remained close to him the worse it became. You quickly dropped off items in Dwayne’s and Jason’s trailers making sure to take any notes they’d left for you for the next day and the week. A task that was supposed to be ten minutes tops was made longer by little micro errands you had to complete between dropping items off.

 By the time you made it to Idris’ trailer, it was almost nine thirty. Without thinking you opened the door to the trailer and climbed the three steps inside. You flicked on one of the lamps and the space lit up with a soft white hue leaving darkness throughout the majority of the trailer. You placed the stack of papers on the desk you normally did, saw no notes for you and proceeded to walk toward the area you knew held a decent sized relaxation area. When you rounded the corner, you flicked on another light prepared to drape the wardrobe items across the bed.

A door opened to your right and out came Idris with water beads peppered across his chiseled chest. You stared at him without moving so much as a muscle and traveled the length of his torso. As your eyes took in his smooth skin, they spent extra time on his abs and inevitably his brain-numbing oblique indentations.

 “Jesus Christ!” you panted out, the desire in your voice clear. You quickly looked up to meet his eyes that bored holes into you. A chill ran up your spine, and you arched your breasts forward. Idris’ eyes dropped to your breasts, and you saw his tongue peek out and dart across his full lips.

 “Fuck!” you grunted in a pleading voice.

 You had no idea what you were pleading for. It could have been for strength, mercy or for him to do just that push you against a wall and fuck you. With your run-away thoughts, you looked back down across his body, and it was then you saw he had a towel wrapped around his waist with an evident bulge asking for attention. You took a small step forward but hesitated to complete it. The look on his face went to an expression of hope. You took two steps back and recollected your senses.

 “Shit, I’m so sorry,” you rushed out, closing your eyes and turning your back to give him some privacy.

 “I had no idea you were in here; I thought you were still filming. I came in to drop some things off. If I had known you were in here, I never would have--,” you trailed off.

 You pinched your lips together embarrassment taking over. He didn’t speak; you didn’t even know if he moved. You wanted to look back but knew your strength, and that was more than you could take. If you looked back, you would cross a line. After another almost minute of silence you nodded.

 “Right, I’m sorry again. Your wardrobe for tomorrow is there, rewrites and other tidbits on the table. Good night,” you rambled on as you walked toward the door and quickly out of it.

 Instead of walking back to your trailer you ran with a horrified expression plastered across your face. There were still two more scenes to film for the night, but you stayed away from him for the rest of the night. You kept away from watching the filming, made sure not to be anywhere he was. Instead, you busied yourself with trying to get ahead for the next day. No matter how busy you made yourself, you still couldn’t stop thinking about him, or it. It looked heavy and felt solid. If that was true, then the rumors were very well quite possibly very true.

 By the time eleven o’clock rolled around you couldn’t deal anymore and left to go home but with the amount of manic energy you had home was not an option. Instead, you called Andra and your friends and had them meet you at your go-to bar to unwind.

 One drink turned to three and three turned to nine, and before you knew it, you were dancing on a table with your friends all around you cheering you on. When you got home, it was almost three in the morning. You expected to be tired and too drunk for your brain to work, but nope, like clockwork, you remained up with thoughts of Idris, his abs and his abundant blessing from the God almighty.

 To Be Continued….

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[neshabeingchildish]

Hello Stranger Part 3

At this point, I don't even feel like redoing the final authors notes. Thank y'all all. Edit: So, okay... I’m feeling better, so lemme say that I am trying out deadlines and discipline for ff WIPs. This one I planned as a three parter. So, hopefully you like the conclusion.

Hello Stranger Part 3

Henry had woke up on the couch with a start! He had been transported into the past while he slept, and was right at that moment where he let Charlotte walk out of his life. That day he didn't know he wouldn't see her for 10 years. Now that he did, every time she walked away was a nightmare. He checked his phone. He'd only gotten about 2 hours of sleep. But he still got up and headed straight to the florist shop.

Making floral arrangements gave him some peace of mind. The decision to open a real store occupy his time and set appointments for people had been one of his best ideas. Most people ordered online anyway. And it was nothing to hire a few people to just man the shop, for when he couldn't be there because of his real work as Captain Danger.

None of the staff knew of his lifestyle, nor did they have access to the Man Caves. Schwoz reprogrammed the elevator to be code activated, and they replaced a few of the damaged caves with other burrows that Henry needed. His gym, his spa, a man cave for Schwoz, one for Jasper, and Ray's retirement home… which was currently the active Man Cave, because he didn't have friends or plans but didn't want to work as Captain Man anymore.

Henry's biggest concern about Ray retiring was that he didn't want Ray to "Jason Todd" him. "If you want to relinquish Captain Man, I take up the mantle-hood for sure and for good. Schwoz works for the Man Cave, meaning me and you can't have the right or even the ability to take anything over from me." Ray had agreed to that, only because he assumed Henry would be lax about it.

Sometimes he would try to threaten Schwoz to get something his way, but Henry had given Schwoz the option to escape Ray's threats by grounding him in the Man Cave until he calmed down. The first time was a doozy. The fight that Ray and Henry had when he came to see if he'd cooled off was their biggest yet. At the end of the conversation, Henry clarified, "As long as I'm in charge of the Man Cave, you don't get to attack, threaten or violate Schwoz or Jasper. They work for me and it is a hostile work environment that I won't allow on my watch. If you can't deal with that, Schwoz will bring Halley back to babysit you, if need be." He had his tough dad voice that he sometimes had to use with his own dad and when Ray stormed to his retirement cave, he locked him out of the Man Cave for a while,just in case.

But, seeing Charlotte and recalling their argument, his words, and recollection of examples of her truth over the years… he had to make it right. He built her a bouquet and sent it to where the search engine told him her office was. The high point of his day,nope.. his decade, was seeing the reaction she posted and all of the replies.

Followers trying to guess who the mystery man was. All the heart eyes and jealous drooling. The compliments on the bouquet itself because he appreciated respect for his craftsmanship.

.

Taking things slow, Charlotte soon realized meant that Henry needed them to work at his pace. Not necessarily slow in general, but he seemed more at ease whenever he could make the first move. She could handle that. She didn't like to chase anyway, so that was preferred to her.

They were spending time together, going on dates, talking about themselves and their worlds, and not dwelling on the fight and forgiveness between them - just the future. They were helping Jasper with wedding plans, both silently thinking and wondering what their own might look like if that was ever an option. Charlotte absolutely lived for Jasper's engagement ring and whenever they went to help him pick out Don's wedding ring, she couldn't help but notice Henry looking at various other ones. So, just for laughs, she said, "Be sure to consider that it's either an ethically sourced diamond, if not just crystals, something that says she's sift and dainty, but also don't get it twisted, she's a god-damned boss."

Henry blushed and giggled, "I don't even know what that means but I'll repeat it for the vendor if I'm ever in the market. I'm more of a 4 c's, reputable jeweler with genuine care for the buyer… I feel like just like with food or with flowers, the gift of a ring has to have all of the steps outlined in love. Like… I agree with ethically sourcing, and raise you ethically selecting. The jeweler needs to help the fiance find the perfect ring for their spouse,to feel that energy in that little piece of jewelry. But also, the jewelry has to consent. She has to call you and let you know that she's willing to be that symbol for the rest of her existence…" He looked at a particular ring whenever he said that. Charlotte definitely peeped it. It was perfect. It was probably the most visible representation of her desire for a ring that she had ever seen.

Whenever Henry caught her staring at it with him, he noted the expression in her eyes. She blinked it away and smiled, saying, "Well, Henry Hart, you and some ring are going to make some person… to be honest, if anybody proposed to me having said some stuff like that, they'd better have the entire ceremony in their pocket because how do you not just marry them on the spot?" He laughed.

Jasper fussed from across the store, "I really am happy that you found love, and I'ma let you finish, but I'M the one trying to buy a ring right now!"

Both friends blushed and, and bumbled over their words, and got back to business. Henry gestured to the jeweler at the ring when Charlotte was devoting her visible attention to Jasper. He didn't know when or if he'd ever actually use it, but seeing that look in her eyes, he certainly couldn't just leave it behind… not that he was letting either of his friends see him take it today. There were so many conversations and milestones before… he could even fathom breaching that subject.

Months passed of something that he couldn't put into words. Charlotte gave him the space and speed he needed all of the time and didn't seem pressed about it. They were going to be each other's dates to the wedding, even though they were both actually in the wedding as part of Jasper's wedding party, and he was simply floating on air lately.

Three months into their relationship, he was finally ready to be sexual with her. He'd explained the first time that they got physically intimate that he "didn't really get around to gaining any experience." It took quick work for her not to facially respond to Henry admitting to her that he was not only a virgin but sort of a prude. "I just couldn't for a long time, then after a while, it was pretty embarrassing and I've never met anybody or gotten close to anybody that I could be vulnerable enough to admit this to. I hope you don't think I'm as much of a loser as I feel right now."

She collected him and strummed his face, "There's no reason for either of us to feel like you're a loser. So you haven't had sex yet. So what? There's plenty of people who haven't for various reasons and all of them are valid. The reasons and the people."

The months of kissing, cuddling, and watching Henry figure out what he liked and loved and wanted was really satisfying for her. She had forgotten what it was like to have longer journeys than a fling and sometimes forgotten how it felt to feel something for the person that she was physically connecting with. Besides that, by the time he was ready for her, she was working with a combination of 10 years of him longing, 28 years of him waiting, and the 15 years of hero physical training and working that had his body magnificent to her. Plus, she was super in love with him at that point. It was hands down the best she had ever had and as they grew, it just kept getting better.

For him, it was the fulfillment of everything that he had waited for. Charlotte was always careful not to make him feel upset or unsure. She didn't make him feel inadequate. She was clear and concise about what she could do for and to him, always making certain that he was comfortable and consenting. It was way more beautiful than he thought his first time would be. He expected her to look annoyed when he fumbled or chuckle uncontrollably when he asked what he felt like were stupid questions. She was the perfect partner though - equal portions companion and friend.

It was like he'd been living in a bubble. It was like he forgot that real life had a way of bursting bubbles. It was like he forgot that just because Ray wasn't around her, Ray didn't exist on the same plane. He had definitely forgotten that Ray had agreed to give Jasper away…

.

From the moment that he and Charlotte came into contact, Ray was pretty much at her neck. The thing about it was that they hadn’t seen each other in 10 years and the last time that he’d done this to him, she had told him about himself and didn’t take it back nor regret it a single moment. So, on this day, she certainly wasn’t going to have any of his shit.

“Ah, if it isn’t world renown problem solver Charlotte. Are you here to make sure nobody has any fun at Jasper’s wedding?”

Henry sighed threw his head back. Why hadn’t he considered that Charlotte and Ray would have bad blood.

“Oh, look - Ray Manbabychester. Riding fifty and still going on fifteen,” she commented right back. He fumed and she smiled and added, “Great to see you, Old Man.”

“I don’t look a day over 35,” he said, and while he did still look pretty good for his age, she couldn’t resist.

“Maybe not, but you don’t act a day over 5. Moving on to rehearsal, because we do want this to go on schedule, right Jasper?” Jasper fought off laughter as he nodded. For the rest of the rehearsal, Ray and Charlotte had it out. He’d try to get under her skin and she’d redirect him to what he could kiss. By the end of it, she announced to everyone, “Okay. People that we all claim to love are getting married on tomorrow. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, and immeasurable dedication has been given to this event. If I am the fun police, I’ll be that, because I’ll be damned, if anyone,” she looked directly at Ray, “jeopardizes Jasper’s special day.”

“Bridesmaid of Buzzkill, everyone!” Ray cheered.

“That doesn’t even make sense, you MASSIVE idiot!” she fussed, finally losing her cool. “I can’t believe that you’re still exactly the same as you always were...” Her voice was high pitched and screeching and she was honestly ready to sock him in the face, now thinking about the fact that he was pretty much the reason that she and Henry hadn’t spoken in as long as they hadn’t and she knew that even though Henry never said it that he probably spent that time bad mouthing her, just like he was currently doing. And now that she was thinking about it, she was a little bit mad that Henry hadn’t defended her today, not once and was getting ready to drag his ass for that too, as soon as she got him alone, but he injected himself into her fussing at Ray.

“Dude, you’ve been on her all day, and everybody is exhausted with it. Just stop.”

Ray scoffed. “Don’t. Don’t do that. Look, when I was an 18 year old kid, I let that stuff fly, but you know what she means to me and even if you don’t like her or don’t respect her, I’m not gonna just stand here while you bash her. It’s offensive to her, to me, and to Jasper, who we’re all here for… And you know… His spouse-to-be too…”

Ray folded his arms, “You’re siding with her after everything that she did to you?”

“Everything she…?” Henry clenched his fists and said to Jasper, “We’re gonna go, okay?” Jasper nodded. Ray moped as he stomped out of the building and Charlotte tried to keep steam from exploding from her ears. Henry gently pulled her aside, shook his head and said, “I am so sorry that I let that go on for so long. I promise, I was gonna get him together when he first jumped off, but you seemed like you had it and I didn’t think he was getting to you until that part. I would’ve protected you if I thought you needed it..”

She nodded, “I did have it at first. Then, he just kept taking jabs and I thought about all of the years that I put up with that kind of stuff from him. I thought about all of the realizations that I came to in my self discovery of how toxic and traumatic a lot of his verbal and emotional abuse was and the times that he literally almost killed me multiple times while I was a kid at a part time job. Then, I thought about everything that he’s done to you, and I just snapped. I know you love him. I know that I don’t fully understand your relationship. I just…"

"You're right. You were then and you are now. It took me awhile to realize it, that over the years as I was coming into myself, I saw examples and I know that you were spot on about a lot of it, even if I couldn't handle hearing it yet. I do love him and I always will, but I'm not letting those feelings get in between you and me ever again.I'm still working on me and I'm working on him. I'm working on us. I let my loyalty to Ray make us strangers, once. We were never supposed to be that. Look, I know that you don't believe in "the one" or forever, but whatever it is that you think about journeys, I think that you have to know that some of those don't end until you die. And that's what I want, with you. This journey until I'm done."

She leaned into him with a smile and said, "Henry Hart, that sounded suspiciously like a proposal."

"Well, it was definitely the set up to one. Certainly can't ask any time this weekend. Do you realize the level of Bridesgroomzilla that Jasper would unleash?"

"Oh, he would kill us."

"Precisely, and I'm not in any position to die, now that I've finally found my reason for living."

It would be an utter lie to suggest that he didn't frequently make her gush. This eas above and beyond that, though it was interrupted when Ray yelled from the door, "Henry, are we leaving or not???"

Henry groaned, forced a smile and said through his teeth, "He might wind up getting killed."

"Yeah, by Jasper if he keeps it up," she said and they parted ways. A couple of hugs and kisses later, that is. "Good luck getting Gramps settled."

He met up with Ray, scolding him while he pouted and Charlotte waved at them and watched them bicker from the window of the venue. Ray was a lot, but Henry said that he was working on him, on them,so maybe there was hope for him yet.

As for her hope, she was staring at him. He looked back, smiled and the world stopped for a while. Maybe she hadn't believed in soul mates because at the time, hers was a stranger and they were estranged. She didn't know that it could ever be this way. But, it was and her next journey just might be the longest. The stranger was gone now and her soul mate had entered the journey with her and he wanted that journey… for life.

The End.

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

Forever in Vancouver

Summary: Six months into their relationship, it was hard finding time together. But when they finally do, will it be everything they hoped?

Part 1: Fated in Lynchburg

Part 2: Found in Nashville

Pairing: Jensen x Reader; Jared x Jensen; Reader x Jill (OFC bffs) x Filip (Jill’s husband)

Words: 10K - Ok, I know its long. I DID NOT intend for this to happen. But it did, so I apologize. I sorta hate myself for it but, it is what it is. I hope you enjoy! (just leaving this here from last time)

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Anxiety, language, 18+ only

Square filled: Free Space

A/N: Written for @spngenrebingo . PART 3 OF 3. A huge thank you to my writing partner in crime @kazosa for not only helping me but also listening to me gripe and checking over everything I was unsure of. I hope you enjoyed it because it was as much for you as it was for myself <3

Everything Tags: @his-paradox  //  @sorenmarie87  // @lefthologramdeer  //  @grace-for-sale  //  @redm81  // @becs-bunker  //  @docharleythegeekqueen //  @moonchild-shoshanna // @geeksareunique

SPN Tags: @soythedemonqueen  // @kazosa  // @lucifer-in-leather // @perseusandmedusa // @tiquismiquis // @mrsbarnes-rogers  // @yorkeylover // @through-thesilver-lining // @illysamorgan // @fictionalabyss // @gettinjoyful // @auntsalgal // @stuckupstucky // @miss-spnm0mma // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @assassinofmasyaf // @babykalika2001 // @negans-wife // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @vickyfarley // @missihart23  // @letsby // @ravenangel33​

@thewinchesterchronicles // @wayward-gypsy   // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy  // @22sarah08

The plane bounced roughly down the tarmac and while that normally would have been enough to set your nerves on fire, today it didn’t bother you one bit. It didn’t, because it meant you were home.

Sort of.

It wasn’t your home, but you would be back in Vancouver where Jensen was, and for you, that was even better. It had only been about six months since Nashville and in that time you and Jensen tried to spend as much time together as possible. Stolen weekends here and there. Long nights of driving to meet up with him at a con, or him buying you a ticket to fly out to Vancouver for one night, then back the next day.

It was fun and exciting, and very exhausting. You could see the toll all the traveling was taking on him. You meet him whenever you could, but you had your own career and life to keep up with. Finding a way to make it successful had been trying, but when you had time together, it was easy to remember why it was worth it.

This was the longest stretch you’d gone without seeing each other. He was on the tail end of a three week stretch of a tight filming schedule, two separate interviews and one con weekend was thrown into the mix. When he had a schedule like that, those were the weeks when there was barely a phone call to be had between you and you found yourself missing him more than usual.

Jill’s book was finished and edited, so she kept her promise and booked a five-day vacation at one of the most beautiful resorts that the Maldives had to offer. Jensen was going to be knee-deep in filming again as they neared closer to finishing the season, so you gathered up your vacation time and decided to take a nice long trip. Start off the first part with your best friend and wrap it up in Vancouver with Jensen.

He just didn’t know about it.

You told him you’d be gone for two weeks, to which he pouted like a child, but he wanted you to go and have a good time. Knowing you were headed to him after a couple of days, you started to worry that surprising him wouldn’t be a good idea. In a complete panic, you texted Jared and ran the idea by him. He, however, thought it was a perfect idea.

Jill’s connecting flight wasn’t until late the following day so she would spend the time with you and Jensen, then you’d have him all to yourself for a full week; a notion that both excited and scared you. As the plane finally rolled to a stop, you whipped out your phone and immediately texted Jared.

            Just landed. Did you spill the beans yet?

Where’s the trust? I know how to keep a secret.

           Lol, just checking. Deplaning soon, gonna grab a cab and head to J’s

Already done. Driver should be there waiting. Text me when you find em.

           You’re the best! Thanks, Jar 😊

Just don’t answer the door wrapped in cellophane or anything, I’ll be coming back with him.

           Fine. But there go my plans…

….I’m already regretting this.

           Cya soon!

 Giggling to yourself, you put your phone away and turned to wake Jill to let her know you’d arrived.

After getting off the plane and grabbing your luggage, you easily found the driver Jared had sent and were on your way to Jensen’s apartment. The ride was longer than usual getting through traffic, so you and Jill were flipping through the pictures you took on your trip.

“You gotta text me that one now, I wanna send it to Filip,” Jill said and took the phone out of your hand, taking it upon herself to do so. When she opened your texts, she saw the ones from Jared.

“You told Jared you were coming?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I should surprise him or not. I know his schedule’s been crazy and didn’t want to get in the way.”

“Get in the way?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter in her seat. “Why would you be in the way? Has he ever made you—”

“No… easy tiger. I just meant that because it’s last minute and I am surprising him… the man keeps a schedule. He’s got a lot going on and I didn’t want him to feel pressured to have to cancel anything or rearrange anything. That’s why I checked with Jared.”

Jill settled back into her seat and went back to sending the photo to herself, then returned your phone. “Sorry, didn’t mean to jump ugly, but you know, you are family to me and I have to make sure this man is worth all the trouble and traveling to see each other.”

“He’s worth it,” you smiled and felt your heart fill at knowing you were going to see him soon.

“So, things are good?”

“Yeah, things are good.”

“Is it getting serious?”

You scowled at her. “What’s with the interrogation all of a sudden?”

She shrugged. “I can see how you feel about him just as the sheer mention of his name. What I wanna know is, does he feel the same way about you?”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. The truth was, you didn’t know how to answer her. Your feelings for Jensen were both exhilarating and confusing, with a big ole side of scary as hell. You couldn’t imagine what his feelings may be for you, and immediately pushed the thoughts away whenever you asked yourself the same thing. The answer was too uncertain to face.

“I don’t know and that’s the truth. We have fun when we’re together, he calls me when we’re not. Texts me a lot… nice messages, cute selfies, leaves me voicemails. But, there’s been no declarations of love. Which, let me just say before you jump to assumptions, I am fine with. I like how things are. I’m just rolling with it for as long as it lasts.” You were half lying to yourself, and you were pretty sure she picked up on it.

“Do you want it to last?”

“Oh, look! We’re here,” you exclaimed, exaggerating your excitement to hopefully change the subject.

“Did you start watching the show yet?” she asked, ignoring your attempt to wrap it up.

You sighed and took a moment before responding. It wasn’t the first time she’d asked and certainly wouldn’t be the last time. “No. Not yet.”

“How come?”

“Because…”

“Because why?”

“I feel like I am in the Principal’s office here, will you stop?”

“I just want to know why you haven’t watched it yet. One, its damn good. Two, he’s your guy. Don’t you want to see him in action?”

“I did. The day I watched it in the hotel room, remember? Then again at the convention, it was everywhere.”

Jill pursed her lips and exhaled deeply. “That’s not the same thing and you know it. So, why not spare us both the long, drawn-out process of me painfully extracting an answer, and just tell me about the real, deep down rationalization you’ve convinced yourself of?”

“Fine. Because… it means that I’m invested. It means that I will have more imagery of him, hear his voice more than I already do. Then when it ends—”

“When it ends? I now repeat my earlier question… do you want it to last? Or are you just riding out a good time?”

You snorted a frustrated sigh and felt a bit of relief when the car came to a stop in front of his apartment building. “I don’t know,” you said quietly with your hand hovering over the door handle. “I don’t know yet.” Opening the door, you climbed out and walked around to get your bags from the trunk. Jill followed and didn’t bring it up again for the time being.

    “All I want to do is go home and sleep,” Jensen groaned and rubbed a hand across his eyes and down his stubble. He laid his head against the headrest and settled into the seat. “This week cannot end soon enough.”

“Almost over, brother,” Jared tried to reassure him with a slap on the knee and without looking up from his phone.

“Thank God. You headed home this week?”

“Yeah, for a few days. You?”

“Nah. Might as well stay here. My folks are on vacation, Y/N’s off somewhere with Jill. Probably just going to find my sweatpants and Netflix some stuff.”

“How is Y/N? Things going alright?”

“Yeah, great. Why?”

Jared shrugged and finally tucked his phone away. “Curious. Don’t hear too much about her these days. Wondering if there was trouble in paradise.”

Jensen chuckled wearily. “No, no trouble, just been tough trying to get some time together. You know?”

Jared nodded sympathetically. “I do. But when Y'all are together, things are good, right?”

“Yeah man, I have zero complaints. Except that she lives two thousand miles away.”

“That’s a tough break, man. But you guys will figure it out. I mean, she seems pretty into you. God only knows why…”

Jensen was too tired to even glare at him properly and just shook his head before resting it against the window. “Wake me up when we’re home.”

A little while later, the car pulled up to the curb and Jared backhanded Jensen’s chest. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty, we’re here.”

Groggily pulling himself from the car, Jensen and Jared went inside and rode the elevator up to his apartment on the top floor. As they approached the door, Jensen heard the music from inside. He stopped outside the door, his hand hovering over the knob.

“You hear that?” he asked, slowly turning to Jared. “Sounds like… Zeppelin.”

Jared frowned and shrugged, trying to hide the grin that wanted to spread out. “I dunno man, let’s check it out.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes at his best friend and realized that whatever was going on, Jared was one hundred percent apart of it. Thinking that his folks, or even his sister, had come for a surprise visit, he opened the door expecting to be bombarded with a barrage of affection and questions from a family member.

“Hello?” Jensen called out when he walked through the foyer and no one was there to greet him. “Mom? Dad?”

“Nope, sorry Cowboy, just me,” he heard from the staircase beside him. There, descending the stairs, tanned and gorgeous, wearing a long flowing yellow sundress covered in small green petals, was Y/N.

The unexpected sight of her gave him a rush of adrenaline that he would’ve previously denied existed. Feelings of exhaustion and hunger faded as he bolted towards her. She bounced down the last few steps and flung herself into his arms, laughing.

Jensen wrapped his arms around her, drawing in a deep breath of her skin, the familiar notes of her lotion tickling his nostrils and instantaneously causing him to want her.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his face still buried in her neck. Slowly, he let her slide to the floor and held her at arm’s length so he could prove to himself she was really there.

“We were only going to the resort for a week, then I figured I’d surprise you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind? Seriously? This is the best ever…” Jensen turned and pointed a finger at Jared, “and you knew, didn’t you?”

“I did,” he beamed, proud of himself for keeping the secret.

“I’m here too, by the way,” Jill’s voice called from the living room as she made her way towards the stairs.

“My favorite author in the whole wide world!” Jensen exclaimed and pulled her into a fierce embrace. Once he finally let her go, Jared extended a warm welcome and noticed the intense looks being passed between Y/N and his best friend.

“Jill whatcha say we give these crazy kids a few minutes, while you and I go through all Jay’s takeout menus, find the most expensive things to have delivered. Then charge it all to his accounts,” Jared offered his elbow out for her to take and she did so with a chuckle.

“Oh, Jared, you sure do know the way to this woman’s heart,” she cooed as they took their leave towards the living room.

Once they were gone, Jensen didn’t hesitate, he grabbed Y/N’s face gently, but kissed her ferociously. “Three weeks is way too long,” he whined between coming up for air and kissing her. “Way too fucking long.”

She draped her arms loosely on his shoulders and started doing that thing with her nails on the back of his neck, sending a course of goosebumps across his skin. He took advantage of the others out of sight and left her mouth, letting his lips find their way across her jaw and down to her neck. He wasn’t tired anymore, nor hungry. He just wanted to carry her upstairs and reenact the first night they had met in Lynchburg until the sun came up the next day.

“Whoa there,” she purred and lifted his head from the oral assault he was committing on her. “There are two other people in the next room that may not want to walk in on this.”

He growled lowly within his chest, then sighed. “You’re right. But its hard to control myself when I haven’t seen you in a while, then you show up looking like you do… what do you expect?”

“You can do whatever you want to me later. In fact, I’ll be here all week, so, you have plenty of time to do what you wish.”

“A week? Seriously?” his heart fluttered at the notion. They’d never spent that much time together in one shot, and he was suddenly thrilled and anxious at the thought. A week was a long time. A million worries wanted to trudge through his mind… would they get along, would she tire of his ridiculous schedule, would they grow tired of being together? He shook them off and just concentrated on the fact that she was right there in front of him, not just a voice on the other end of the line.

“I know you have to work, and I don’t want you to change anything because of me, but yeah, as long as you don’t mind, I planned on staying through the week.”

“Jill, too?”

“No, she flies home tomorrow night. Just a little layover to take a break in traveling. Plus, she’s never seen Vancouver, so, I figured I’d take her out tomorrow before heading to the airport.”

“Well, I’m glad she’s here, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to have you to myself for the week.”

“Me too,” Y/N whispered, caressed his stubbled cheek, smiling softly before kissing him again. “Me too.”

  Jill and Jared kept their word, and within the hour three different take-out restaurants delivered a ridiculous amount of food. Jokes were made how little Jensen kept in the house, so at least the two of you would have something to live off of for a couple days.

The four of you sat around for hours, chatting about your vacation, their days on set, your plans for sightseeing the next day, and of course, bouts of teasing any time Jensen showed you affection.

Jensen was sitting normally on the couch, and you were curled up against his side, his arm tucked firmly around your shoulders. You could feel his rhythmic breathing and the faint echo of his heart beating. He still felt as good to you as that first night you danced together.

Everyone was feeling the late hour and decided to turn in. Jared made up a place on the couch, Jill took to the guest room, and Jensen took your hand, leading you upstairs to his room.

He closed the door softly behind him and secured it with a lock. When he turned around, he started to approach you, slowly, his gaze drinking you in with each step closer. There was very little moonlight seeping through the window, only enough to highlight the slope of his nose and the moisture of his lips.

When he was close enough, he casually moved the strap of your sundress to fall down your arm; then did the same on the other side. The top fell and exposed your breasts to the cool air. His eyes were locked with yours, as he helped the dress fall to the floor, leaving you there only in your panties.

He lifted you up, so your legs wrapped around his waist and his face was eye level with your chest, but he didn’t yet touch you there. His eyes never left yours. Laying you down gently on the bed, he held your gaze and removed the panties, before quietly removing his own clothes. Once he was free of them, he lifted your leg up in the air and left a kiss on the inner part of your ankle. The slow, methodical way he worked his way up your calf, then to your thigh as he hovered over you, was driving you seven different kinds of crazy. The fact that he purposely bypassed your most sensitive spots, further incited your ache for him.

“Jensen, please…” you quietly pleaded with him and ran your fingers through his hair, gripping his head and guiding it up to yours.

“Shhhh. I’m finding my way around again, its been a while,” he whispered roughly and left a soft kiss on your lips.

He ran his hands up the length of your body, to your arms, and with one hand pinned them over your head. His free hand reached between your thighs and slowly began to slip into the depths of your sex, first brushing against your clit, then plunging up into you.

You inhaled sharply, and your body responded to him immediately. He pressed more of his weight on top of you as his fingers expertly worked their way around until your orgasm hit, quickly and with an explosive rush. He released your hands and you dug into his shoulders, muffling the scream under your breath and stayed that way until your body stopped shaking.

Jensen brushed his nose softly against your cheek and his lips against your ear. “Come here,” he commanded softly, and helped you sit up on the bed, “I wanna watch you.”

He pulled the down the covers, leaned back against the pillows and guided you to straddle his lap. Taking control of your hips, he positioned you over his cock but moved you up and down along the shaft slowly at first. The sensation it triggered against your overstimulated clit was maddening, but you didn’t want him to stop. His eyes were on you so intensely you thought he’d make you cum again just by his gaze

When he couldn’t seem to stand it anymore, he slipped up into you. He watched you leisurely grind against him, fighting the urge you had to move faster. Jensen was completely controlling you, his need for it was written all over his face. After a few moments, he reached up behind you, grabbed a fist full of hair and pushed your forehead to his.

“Fuuck,” he growled lowly and dug his fingers into your hair and hip deeper, forcing you to grind into him harder. His control was wavering, and with every thrust upward, he moaned deeper, your name fell from his lips in mere breaths. Jensen’s eyes squeezed shut and before he could pull out or force you up and off of him, he came inside you.

There was a slight panic at what that could mean, but it passed faster than it had manifested. As Jensen wrapped his arms around you and rested his head against your breasts, you ran your nails through his hair and just caught your breath. In that moment, nothing mattered but being there with him.

You climbed off him, pulled the covers up and lay beside him on the bed. He nestled into his pillow, sleep creeping into his expression. “I missed you,” he rasped and pulled you into him. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He kissed the top of your head, and you felt him finally give in to the exhaustion.

  Morning broke earlier than he would have liked, but regardless, Jensen got up and dressed as quietly as possible. He stood there, watching her sleep for a moment, and longed to just crawl back into bed beside her. She rolled over, now facing his empty side of the bed. He watched long enough to see her reach out for where he should be. Even in slumber, she realized he wasn’t there, but smiled as she wrapped her arms around his pillow.

He thought back to the night before, and how different that time had felt. The sex had been great as usual, but there was a lot more to what happened. He loved watching her, especially when they had sex, but not only then. He’d watch her read a book, drink coffee, even watch a movie. Everything she did was intoxicating to him. As he continued dressing, Jensen paused while fixing the collar of his white Oxford shirt when he was struck with a realization and slight feeling of nauseous panic.

Oh shit, he thought as he gazed down at her, I’m in love with this girl.

Y/N groaned softly as she rolled back the other way and moved an arm to rest above her head. She stretched out her neck to the side, and Jensen smiled wistfully. It was his favorite part of her body to kiss, because every time he did, she made the tiniest little gasp that drove him wild.

There were so many little things like that he found he loved about her… Yes, he told himself, more assuredly this time, love. You LOVE her, dummy. Now, he just had to find a way to tell her and pray that she felt the same way.

He finished getting dressed and carefully climbed back on the bed, so as not to disturb her. Leaving a soft kiss on her shoulder, he quietly left the room and headed downstairs.

A note from Jared said that he was up earlier and went home to shower then head to set. Jensen noticed coffee was already made and he heard the balcony door closing gently from the other room. Jill came in, steaming mug in hand and wrapped up in the throw blanket from the couch.

“Morning,” she smiled and raised her cup. “Sleep well?”

“Fantastic. You? Room comfy?”

“Incredibly, thank you. Hope you don’t mind, I got the coffee going and went out to watch the sunrise. It’s really beautiful here.”

“Don’t mind at all. How is it?” he asked and nodded towards the cup.

“Oh, this is hot chocolate. I hate coffee. But I made it for Jared before and knew you and Y/N would want some.”

Jensen laughed a grabbed a to-go cup from the cabinet. “You are hands down the best houseguest, ever.”

“I try,” she said and sipped at her cocoa while watching Jensen move about the kitchen. He could feel her watching him and gave her a curious glance from the corner of his eye.

“So, what’s Y/N got you doing today?” he asked as he fixed his coffee.

“Who knows, she’s rattled off so many places she wants to drag me too. Then we have to be at the airport around five.”

“Shame you can’t stay longer. Last night was a lot of fun. Maybe Y/N and I can take a trip down to visit you soon. I’d love to meet your husband, I’ve heard a lot about him from Y/N. She says he’s the big brother she never had. Dying to finally meet the guy,” he smirked and secured the lid to his mug.

“Oh, honey, no,” Jill laughed, shook her head and patted his arm. “You’re adorable. No, see, you’re more than welcome to visit when he’s out of town or on a run with the Club, but, we don’t bring the good time home to meet Filip, only serious investors.”

Jensen chuckled unsurely, “What does that mean?”

“Just that, Y/N is family… not just my best friend. My husband looks to her as a little sister and is fiercely protective of anyone he considers family. Fiercely protective. Family is everything to him. So, we have found that its best if he doesn’t meet everyone who comes into her life until we’re sure he’s sticking around.”

“Oh,” he said, slightly taken aback at her proclamation. “Just curious, has Filip met a lot of, uh, serious investors?” Jensen was fidgeting with his cup which didn’t go unnoticed by Jill.

“Only two. He disapproved of both. I’m not saying that he’s got the power of persuasion over Y/N, where he would tell her to dump someone. Buuut, let’s just say he’s an immaculate judge of character and his instincts are primally on point.”

His expression was wary, but also thoughtful. When he didn’t respond, she worried that maybe she gave him the wrong impression. “I just mean that you guys are having fun, it's not serious or anything, right? You see each other when you can. Hell, maybe even see other people between—”

“No, there’s no one else,” he said firmly.

“Good to know,” she said and smiled with mild relief. “All I am saying is, you’re having a good time for now. Until you know what it is—”

“I’m in love with her, Jill,” he interjected abruptly, as if he didn’t say it out loud then, he wouldn’t be able too. “I’m in love with her and it's definitely just not a good time. It’s so much more than that.”

“Then you need to tell her. Show her, make sure she hears you. I love that girl but she’s a tough sonofabitch to get through to sometimes. She gets caught up in her own head and gets lost in there sometimes. So, you may have to repeat it before she believes you.”

Jensen smiled, the soft crinkles forming around his eyes. He gave her a slight nod and replied, “Yes ma’am.”

“I want to like you, Jensen. You seem like a genuinely good person, and I know she really enjoys being with you. It's been years since I’ve seen her like this and I so want this to work out. And I’m sure you will get to meet Filip one day. One way or another. Let’s just hope it’s the friendly kind of visit.”

Jill smiled at him sweetly before finishing her cocoa. She placed the mug in the sink and turned back towards Jensen. He seemed mildly panicked, but when you held out your arms for an embrace, he placed his mug on the counter and returned it happily.

“Now, I am going to go shower so as soon as that woman of yours wakes up, we can go get breakfast. Thanks for having me, you have a great place here. Would definitely love to come and visit again sometime.”

“Thanks, uh, for the chat—” his phone vibrated in his pocket and when he retrieved it, he scowled and shoved it back into his pocket. “That’s my ride. I gotta run, but I want you to know, I heard you. Loud and clear. Have a safe flight home, and I promise you, she’s in good hands with me.”

“Oh, I bet she is,” Jill laughed, shaking her head as she walked turned towards the spare room. “See ya sometime soon and have a good day on set.”

Jensen glanced upstairs at the door to his room. As he grabbed his coat off the hook and double checked for his wallet and keys, he thought about her still wrapped up in his sheets and how they’d be rich with her scent now. Knowing that when he got home, he could lay down on them and she would be right there, pulled at the place in his heart he’d kept reserved and closed off for so long. It scared the shit out of him, but since he’d met her, he knew it was time to open it again. 

 Exploring with Vancouver with Jill was both fun and exhausting. Returning once to the apartment to rest for a few and gather her things, within a couple hours you were back out on the curb hailing a cab to take you both to the airport.

“You don’t have to come. I can get there and get on the plane, no reason you should leave and have to come all the way back.”

“It’s fine. I want to go with you. Jensen won’t be home for a few more hours at least and I don’t want to sit up there all by myself.”

“Alright, but I still say you’re a glutton for punishment,” she teased and handed the cab driver her bags for the trunk.

On the way, you chatted casually and again thanked her for the resort trip. It was rare that you got to spend this quality time with her, and suddenly found yourself anxious that it was ending regardless that it meant you’d be alone with Jensen for the whole week.

“What’s up with you?” she asked, able to read your expression easily.

“Would you laugh if I told you I was nervous?”

“About what?”

“Being alone with him… for a week. Last night, that got intense—”

“Bup bup,” she interrupted and held up her hand. “I’ve heard plenty of sexcapade stories from you about him in the last six months, I don’t need another right now.”

You rolled your eyes and continued, ignoring her teasing grin, “—he got intense. He was just… different and I can’t tell why. I don’t know. I’m being stupid.”

“You’re not. You’re stressing and overthinking, but you’re not being stupid. Look, don’t get inside your head too much, ok? He likes you, he wants you here, he was excited you showed up. By the end of the week, I’m sure you’ll be so at ease with each other, he won’t want you to leave.”

“I just wish you could stay longer,” you pouted.

“Me too, but I miss my old man and I honestly can’t watch you make out with Jensen anymore. It's gross. You should know that.”

“You forget I’ve watched you and Filip for all these years. Girl, I’ve seen things…. Things these eyes will never recover from thanks to you two. So, don’t give me shit.”

With that, the cab pulled up to the drop-off zone and popped the trunk. After exiting the cab, she told him to wait and told you to go back to Jensen’s.

“I got it from here. Go back, enjoy time with him and just have fun. Ok? Text me if you need me, but do not call for at least two days. I plan on doing very dirty things to Filip when I get home and unless the house catches fire, don’t plan on engaging with anyone else.”

You laughed and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Got it. Travel safe.”

“I’ll let you know when I get home though, and seriously, just relax and have fun!”

Jill grabbed her luggage and headed towards the terminal, pausing only once to turn and wave goodbye.

  In the days after Jill left, things took a weird turn between you and Jensen. He wasn’t distant, exactly, but he didn’t have much in him by the time he got home at the end of the day. Which was something you understood completely given the schedule he’d been keeping. You began to worry that his lifestyle wasn’t something you could keep up with.

The conversations you had with Jill echoed loudly in your head, and you kept asking yourself all the questions she had… what was it you wanted from this, where was it going, was it serious, would it last… ?

Several days after saying goodbye to Jill, you were lying in bed trying to read with Jensen snoring softly beside you. The book was open on your lap, but you were blankly staring ahead reliving the day you’d had and trying not to be overly emotional about a whole lot of nothing.

Work had been especially grinding trying to wrap early so he could take a long weekend to spend time with you. He had fifteen-hour days on set, and each night came home completely exhausted, barely able to finish a meal and shower before he fell asleep.

Each morning he left a small note on the coffee pot, which was always brewed and waiting for you when you came downstairs. Passing the time, you went to see a movie, tidied up around the apartment, and finally cleaned out all the leftovers before heading to the market to fill the house with all his favorites.

The ones you knew of, anyway.

Browsing the aisles of the store, you were struck with the realization that there was so much you didn’t know about him. Most of the time you had together, was spent on the go, so that meant a lot of restaurants, take out or room service. Only once did you get to cook for him and that was on a layover he spent at your place a couple weeks after the convention.

You tried to brush it off, but the thought spiraled into more of the same ilk, and it left you feeling slightly spun out, unsure about why you were even trying so hard when it would probably never last. Walking through the produce section, you chose a few types of each before doing the same thing with everything else. By the time you finally reached the check out with a cart full of groceries, you were near tears with doubt.

What is wrong with you? You asked yourself as you sat there, taking in deep breaths of air. You’re panicking… why?

The inner banter you had with your anxious self, went on that way for a while… what about food allergies? Does he have any? What if he hates mushrooms or peppers? What if he can’t eat eggs? Then you’d immediately berate yourself for questioning everything… You’ve seen him eat eggs, you idiot. You’ve seen him eat just about everything…

It took all your strength to make both sides shut up so you could proceed with getting the haul home. Bringing it all up to the apartment was a task, too, and by the time it was all put away, you were mentally exhausted and feeling completely out of whack.

The sound of his key in the door prompted you to quickly swipe any leftover tears from your eyes and busied yourself in the kitchen.

“Hey,” he smiled wearily and hung his keys on the hook. “How was your day?”

Your back was still facing him, but you could feel his eyes on you. “It was good.”

“Just good?”

“Yeah, you know, uneventful,” you half lied and tried to compose yourself before turning around to greet him properly.

The moment you locked eyes with him, you saw he recognized that you weren’t alright. Jensen gingerly took your hand, cast his eyes down as he played with your fingers.

“You wanna talk about it or continue to feed me bullshit?” He looked up, exhaustion set into his features, and the last thing you wanted to do was add to it.

“I—I’m fine, Jay, honest. Let me make you some dinner while you relax. Looks like it was a long day.”

You noticed how intensely he was scrutinizing your face and did your best to hold up to the silent interrogation. “Alright,” he said and brought your hand to his lips. “If you say so. But, if you change your mind and wanna talk about whatever’s bothering you, I’m right here.”

“I know,” you replied, forcing a smile, “I’m fine. Go rest. Dinner should be up soon.”

His brow furrowed as you shewed him from the kitchen, but he did as you asked.

Sometime later, when you went out to tell him that it was ready, you found him fast asleep on the couch. Despite everything, you’d felt that day and all the doubts you had, you were still happy to be there with him. Even though your mind was still muddled with tons of self-doubt and worry where the relationship was headed, an overwhelming rush of love crashed into you.

Dammit, you thought as you gazed down at him sleeping peacefully, I’m falling in love with him and that’s the last thing I wanted.

You gently shook him awake and convinced him to go upstairs to go to bed. He was out almost instantly, but now you were laying beside him back to where you were before. The inner palaver was firing up again, so you grabbed your book to try and stave it off, but even the words of your favorite author couldn’t stop the internal argument brewing.

Everything that you felt for him, versus everything you felt you were not, battled it out until you were as mentally exhausted as Jensen had been physically spent. You finally gave up on reading, put the book on the table and slunk down into the bed. As your eyes closed, your mind let one more thought linger before finally shutting down… Maybe this visit was too long… maybe it really isn’t meant to last.

  Jensen wasn’t an idiot. He could tell she was upset the minute he got home and walked into the kitchen. Her shoulders were slumped, the curve of her spine more pronounced because of it. There was something in her voice, too. Something that dampened the natural radiance he usually heard in it.

She was faking her mood and he didn’t know why. He asked if everything was alright, but her answer felt forced and false. Knowing her the way he did, he knew it had to be more than just the rigidness of his schedule. Whenever it had come up in the previous days, she was sincerely fine with it and he really believed that. He lied for a living after all, and he could spot a liar a hundred miles away. Y/N wasn’t a liar.

That’s how he knew, he had to get to the bottom of this because it wasn’t like her to lie or be this upset and try to hide it.

Y/N ushered him away from the kitchen while she got dinner going, so Jensen took respite on the couch. He flicked on the television and grabbed the phone from his pocket. Realizing the time, he didn’t want to chance to call her, so he brought Jill’s contact info up and messaged her instead.

           Hey, how’s my favorite author doing?

It only took about a minute for her to respond.

                       Sleeping. She was sleeping.

           Sorry about that. Can I pick your brain for a minute?

                       Sure. What’s up?

           Y/N’s upset and won’t say why.

                       Crying?

           Not anymore. She was before I got home I think. Fake smile, too.

                       Did you tell her yet? You didn’t, did you?

           I’m waiting for the right time.

                       Men… you’re an idiot. Tell her. Now.

           Not like that. I don’t want to say it to fix something. I wanna tell her in            a special way. Tell me what Willow Bainbridge would do.

                       I have no words for you right now…

           I know, I’m an ass.

                       Won’t deny that. Just tell her how you feel, dummy. She’s                         probably stuck in her own head just doubting everything.                         Doesn’t need to be elaborate. Make it special, sure. But doesn’t                         have to be a big spectacle. You know?

Jensen sighed. He knew she was right, but he wanted it to be. He wanted to show Y/N just how much he felt for her, but he didn’t know how. She stepped up at the convention in a big way, he just wanted to match it; do something that really proved to her that he loved her.

           You’re the expert here, I’ll follow your lead.

                       Smart boy. Take care of her, ok?

                       Btw, Filip says hello and not to make her cry anymore. Niighhtt!

 Shaking his head, he tucked the phone away, laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. He must have started dozing off, because the next thing he knew, Y/N was gingerly rubbing his arm and calling his name.

“Jensen…” her voice was soft and sweet despite whatever that was before. “Baby, wake up, let’s go upstairs. You need to get some real sleep.”

He woke enough to hear her and smile when she called him baby. He liked that, a lot. She helped guide him up the stairs and into bed, removing his jeans and shirt and putting them to the side. Jensen fell into bed and wanted to wrap himself up in her, but before she could even climb in beside him, he was fast asleep.              

    You woke the next morning, and as usual, Jensen was gone. You pulled yourself up and out of bed put on your robe and headed down to the kitchen. The coffee pot was on and his note stuck to the cup beside it.

           Fix your cup and go out to the balcony.

You did as the note commanded and froze in place once you realized he was still home and waiting for you out there.

“Well, hey stranger,” you said as you came through the balcony door. “Running late or playing hooky?”

He kissed your cheek, letting his lips linger there softly. “Both.”

The corner of your mouth twitched into a curious smile. “Both?”

“Yes, ma’am. I am playing hooky. All the way through Sunday. But, we are also running late.”

“We?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions,” he teased, his eyes were gazing upon you softly. “I have some plans for us today, and they require us to be leaving very soon. Was just about to come up and wake you.”

“I can be ready in less than an hour, is that ok?”

“Perfect.”

You took your cup upstairs and went about taking a shower to get ready for a day out with Jensen. In record time, you were showered, dressed, downstairs and ready to go. Though you were still feeling a little off from the day before, your spirit had lifted a bit and you felt a little less anxious. No matter what the day had in store, you were going to just try and enjoy the time you had with him.

The day started out with breakfast at a small café he loved, then a trip to the Vancouver Aquarium where he arranged for you to go and feed the penguins. You walked hand in hand with him all day, admiring all the creatures there and found yourself laughing a lot. He was stopped only a few times by fans, and you watched as he treated them all with nothing but kindness and appreciation.

You didn’t think it was anything you could get used to but seeing him interact with them only reinforced what you already knew. This was his life, and he was so, very good at what he did. Being with him, really being with him meant that your perfect days would be interrupted, plans would get canceled and time would sometimes be short.

Just as you were exiting the aquarium, a little boy about ten years old and his mom were walking in. Despite his baseball cap, the boy noticed Jensen and you both heard him scream, “Mom! It’s Dean!”

Jensen immediately went over to him, gave him a high five, and knelt to talk to him. You watched how the little boy’s mom watched them, her face just beaming with happiness. She turned to you, her hand over her heart, “Your husband is absolutely wonderful to do this. My son loves Dean so much, the show too, crazy how they can get so much out of it at this age, isn’t it?”

All you could do is simply nod. The emotion caught up in your throat and rendered you speechless. Their interaction was brief, but it impacted you in a way you didn’t see coming. You suddenly felt remorseful for not having watched the show, for not engaging him more with his career, and the other projects he’s been a part of. You’d become so afraid of falling in love with him, that you purposely ignored the biggest part of his life. No wonder he may want to let you go…

This character he played, that seemed to touch so many people, was a mystery to you and it made you feel terribly guilty. When he said goodbye and came back to you, it was hard to look him in the eye.

From there, you walked around Gastown to explore some shops and galleries. He did most of the talking, pointing out things of interest and sharing his exceptional knowledge of the city’s history. You tried to follow along and listen to everything, but the earlier encounter had brought back the familiar feeling of the day before. You just didn’t feel like you were good enough to be with him.

Though you enjoyed the day, there was something that just felt wrong, and you knew it was because you were letting your fears take over.

Jensen suggested getting dinner and hailed a cab to take you to a restaurant called Chambar. He told the driver where to go and settled into the seat beside you.

“You’ve been quiet. You alright?”

“Yeah, just taking in the day.”

“Sure? If something’s on your mind…” he shrugged slightly and wrapped his hand around your knee, “I want you to know you can talk to me.”

You should have said more, but at that moment all you could muster was, “I know.” You hooked your arm around his elbow, rested your head on his shoulder and rode in silence to the restaurant.

 Jensen must have called ahead because you were sat right away at a large corner booth in the back of the restaurant. As you walked towards the table, it struck you how similar the place looked to the restaurant in Lynchburg. You slid into the rounded booth, and Jensen followed, leaving very little distance between you.

The hostess placed down menus and left with a smile. The waitress arrived shortly after and took care of the drinks and appetizers, leaving you with your menus a while longer. Once you decided what you wanted to have, you really began to look around the place and enjoyed how familiar it felt.

“This place really looks—”

“Just like Lynchburg, right?” he said, his smile encapsulating his entire face. “It’s why I wanted to come here.”

“It's beautiful, and the food smells great,” you said, trying to make small talk but you could see something more serious brewing behind his eyes.

The drinks were dropped off, and after he sampled his bourbon, he finally broached the subject that he had been mulling over. “I know that these past couple days have been crappy, and you’ve had a lot on your mind. But, there’s a weird thing going on here. I don’t know what it is, but I know that I’m not crazy about it.”

You felt your heart start to sink. Had you read the day completely wrong? Was this really it? The final nail in a coffin signifying the end you were so scared of?

“Wh—What do you mean?”

“Just that, you’ve been quiet, not really yourself. You don’t want to talk about it, and I can’t force you, but I also don’t want you to be unhappy.”

You swallowed a good portion of your Jack and Coke, hoping the bite of the whiskey would help quell the panic rising, to go back down. “I’m not, unhappy, Jensen.”

“Then what is it?” he asked, the lines of his forehead creasing with worry. “Because you’ve definitely not been happy. You were crying last night before I got home and hid it. Why?”

You inhaled sharply, taken aback by his accusation. He wasn’t wrong, but you thought you’d covered that so well. He seemed frustrated by it though, and you immediately assumed this was the beginning of the end. You felt instantly defensive. This wasn’t how this was supposed to be. This is how things were with the other people that had been in your life. But not Jensen, he was supposed to be different…

“Look, if you want to end things—”

Jensen was suddenly panicked. “What? No!”

“It’s ok, I mean, I never expected it to last forever,” you mumbled through a buildup of thick emotion. You could feel yourself starting to spiral. “I don’t know if I will ever be comfortable with the public side of your life, I know I don’t watch the show, and you must feel like I don’t support you—"

He took your hands tightly in his and slid you closer to him on the bench. “Y/N. Stop. Just shut up for a minute. When I first met you, we had the most amazing, best night of my life. The next day, you didn’t want to hear me out. When there’s no communication, things get messy. You ran away, and we missed out on a month together. I’m asking you now to listen to me. Alright? Just really listen.”

You drew in a shaky breath and nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” you rasped.

“Good. Last thing I want is for anything to end. I realized something the other day and I’ve been waiting, looking for the perfect moment to tell you. Work has been crazy, and I didn’t want it to be said in passing or off hand. And with how quiet you’ve been, I didn’t want to say it solely try and make you feel better. I need you to know I’m sincere. Maybe I should’ve just said it right then, but when it comes to you, I’m not always thinking straight. I wanted to be in a special place, look you in the eye and be able to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I am crazy, head over heels in love with you.”

The words spilled from his lips all in one breath as he sat there, anxiously awaiting your response. He squeezed your hands, as his tongue darted nervously out across his bottom lip. “Honestly, just saying it, it’s not enough, because I don’t just want to be in love with you, Y/N. I want you to be with me, forever. I don’t want you to go home. I want you to stay here in Vancouver. I know that changes everything for you, and it’s a big step, but I know that we are good together. I am the best I’ve ever been, in these last six months. That’s because of you. I may be tired when I get home, and there’s not always a whole lot of me left then. But what is left, I want to give to you. I have loved coming home this week, knowing you were there and I’m sorry if I haven’t made that abundantly clear.”

You swallowed thickly and could feel your chest rising and falling, but the air expelling was thin at best. Your bottom lip was shaking with so many things you wanted to say back, but the look in his eyes was enough to render you silent. Slowly, you withdrew your hands from his and ran them nervously through your hair. It was then you were struck by how funny it all was.

“This whole week, I’ve been petrified that you were tired of me and that I shouldn’t have surprised you. I was so scared that you were just being kind, tolerating me being there. I went shopping for you and panicked. Bought everything under the sun because I didn’t remember what you liked.”

“Is that why there’s like, ten boxes of different pastas in the pantry?” he asked, a vague smirk touching his lips.

You nodded and wiped the stray tear that started falling. “I realized how little I thought I knew about you. Then, it spiraled… maybe it was too much, I was too much. That I wasn’t what you’d need or want in any concept of forever. So, I tried to step back a little bit emotionally; detach myself from you so when it did end, I wouldn’t get too hurt. Problem was, I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I had already fallen in love with you but was really scared to admit it to myself.”

His expression changed. Gone were the lines of worry across his brow, the crinkles formed at the corners of his eyes as his perfect lips curled into a smile. “You love me, huh?” he teased.

“Yeeaah,” you said shakily, drawing out the word as you leaned in closer. “Against my better judgment, I do.”

Jensen’s hand lovingly caressed your check and guided your mouth to meet his. Reminiscent of your first kiss in the elevator, it was slow and sweet; tiny flashes of energy sparking every time your lips came together. It was the first real kiss you had shared with him in a few days and it felt long overdue.

He pulled back but kept his eyes locked with yours. He appeared like he wanted to say something more, but hesitated. You didn’t want to pressure him, so you let him work it out on his own. He reached down into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, laying it face down on the table.

“I have something I need to ask you…”

  Jensen knew it was now or never. She loved him, that was all he needed to be sure and brave. The small piece of jewelry felt heavy in his hands. He’d gone over this a million times in the last two days and was still unsure of what he wanted to say. Since the day that Jill left, he’d been trying to find the right words to ask Y/N, but nothing felt just right. The only thing that did, is him finally coming to realize he wanted to be with her forever.

He stopped and bought the ring the next day. Why wait? He knew he loved her and always wanted to be with her. He didn’t tell a single soul, though. Not even Jared. He was afraid someone would try and talk him out of it, and right now, getting Y/N to marry him was the only thing in the world he really wanted.

Jensen took a deep breath and leap that he never thought would come.

“I have something I need to ask you… Nothing about us has been conventional. I know that I’m in love with you, and I want to spend my life with you. Whether that forever is here in Vancouver, in Austin, or in Timbuctoo… I don’t care, Y/N. All that matters to me, is that I found my perfect girl and I’m tired of waiting for forever to start.”

Jensen unfurled his fingers to reveal the petite silver ring garnished with a three-carat opal cut diamond in his palm. He picked up and held it towards her. “Marry me.”

There was no wavering or uncertainty in his voice. He knew what he wanted, and he was determined to get it. Her expression morphed from adoration to shock in the course of two words. Her eyes grew large and her mouth fell slack.

“M—Marry you?” The way she said it made his stomach drop. Maybe it was too soon, he thought and fought down the internal panic. Then he really looked in her eyes and noticed her own panic.

“I know my life isn’t exactly normal. Sometimes it's overwhelming and exhausting. But, its part of who I am, and I don’t want to give it up. That being said, I am not going to expect you to take part if you can’t. If you’re worried—”

“Will you shut up?” she interjected, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. “Just shut up, Jay, and put the ring on my finger.”

Jensen expelled a rush of anxious air and slipped the ring onto her finger. “So, that’s a yes?”

She admired it for a moment, then took his cheeks into her hands and kissed him deeply despite being in a very crowded restaurant. When the kiss cooled down, she smiled, just like she did that night in Lynchburg when they were out on the patio and agreed to go upstairs with him.

“Yes,” her bright eyes sparkled with a thousand new promises. “I will marry you… anytime, anywhere.”

Jensen felt overwhelmed, happy, scared and relieved. But as he sat with his now fiancé, as she leaned into him, watching her ring dance in the ambient lighting of the room, he knew that he did the right thing. She was the one. The one he was fated to meet and found again in the most unlikely of places. Now, she’d be with him forever.

Six Months Later…

The Autumn air was unnaturally warm for October in Tennessee, not that you minded. It made having an outdoor wedding more bearable. The barn was all decked out in various flower arrangements and soft lighting, tables set up both inside and out, depending on how the weather was going to cooperate. The sun was about two hours from setting, and you knew you’d have an amazing sunset for the big day. Sunsets in this part of the world never ceased to disappoint.

Jill was fidgeting with the bottom of your dress, while Filip watched from the corner of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest, one boot kicked over the other.

“Why you makin’ me stay in here for lass, I’ll be on me best behavior out there. I just wanna talk to the boy, shite.”

“You, sit,” Jill commanded her husband, to which he woefully obeyed but not without a rueful glance. “You will not scare him off thirty minutes before they’re supposed to get married.

“Pffft,” Filip said and waved her off. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’, love. Cross me heart.”

“You heard the woman, you best stay,” you teased and adjusted a rogue strand of hair. “Instead, tell me if I look alright. Don’t wanna look a mess walking out there.”

Filip got up, walked over to you and Jill, and draped his arm across her shoulders while giving you a firm once over. A soft smile fell to his face, causing the infamous dimples to appear. “Absolutely beautiful. I mean, no one could touch this one’s beauty on the day we said ‘I do’, but you’re a damn close second sweetheart.”

“Dayum Filip, even after all these years, you still know how to get your old lady to smile,” you teased once you saw Jill’s face blush.

“It’s a gift,” he whispered with a wink. “Now, ladies, I am gonna take me leave of ya, ‘n go find the bar. Maybe I’ll run into this groom of yours. We need to be havin’ a quick chat anyway.”

“Filip!” you warned, “Don’t you be mean!”

“Me? Come on now, you know me better than that…”

“Best behavior old man,” Jill warned and narrowed her eyes at him. Filip sauntered out of the room and flipped out the tails of his suit jacket as he walked out the door. “Boy he’s got a flair for the dramatic,” she mumbled after he left.

Standing up from fixing one more spot on the hem, she stepped back and took a long look at you. “Alright, I think you are ready to go.” Her face beamed, and you turned to take one more look at yourself in the mirror.

“Is this really going to happen today? How the Hell did I get here?” you asked, more to your reflection than to Jill. But she nonetheless stood behind you and spoke to both of your reflections. “This time last year I was newly single and planning a vacation… now…”

“Now you are marrying a really great guy who loves you like crazy and has the world’s coolest job. It’s going to be beautiful and you two are going to have the best, craziest sort of life together.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

Jill squeezed your shoulders and smiled again through the reflection. “Come on, let’s go get you married.”

  Outside, Jensen paced nervously while trying to listen to the calming words of his brother and father about the wonders of marriage. Jared stood off to the side relishing in watching how anxious his best friend was getting. After a few minutes, he found a way to get Jensen alone, if for no other reason than to give the man a moment to breathe.

“You alright?” Jared asked, picking a piece of lint from Jensen’s tux.

“If you count wanting to puke as alright, sure. I’m dandy.”

“Wanna call it off?” Jared asked sarcastically, earning a look of death from Jensen.

“What do you think?”

“Alright, then chill. It’s going to be fine. You’ll get up there, she’ll get up there, Y’all will be married and then… we’ll drink and party. Right?”

“Yeah, man. Thanks. You sure you’re good to do this?”

Jared pulled the index cards from his jacket and nodded. “I am so ready to do this. I’m honored you’d even ask me.”

“No one else in the world I’d want to have been a part of this,” Jensen clapped Jared’s shoulder and brought him into a hug.

Approaching from behind, Filip cleared his throat. “Excuse me, boys, may I have a moment with the groom?”

Jared and Jensen passed a nervous look. Jensen’s mouth frowned and he nodded, his way of telling Jared it was ok to go on ahead. “I’ll meet you up there.”

Once Jared was gone Filip got a little closer and looked out over the area set up for the wedding.

“Gorgeous, huh?” Filip asked gesturing towards it. “Really pretty place you choose here.”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”

Filip maintained his silence for a moment. Surveying the farm before him, he turned slowly and caught Jensen’s gaze. “So’s she, ya know. Me little sis down there. Not just her face I mean. She’s a good one.”

“I know. Trust me.”

“She best stay that way.”

“She will as long as she’s with me,” Jensen said assuredly, though resisted the urge to add “sir,” and glanced at Filip from the corner of his eye.

“Y/N ever tell ya ‘bout the time she brought this one lad ‘round the house?” Filip asked, ignoring Jensen’s comment. “He was a lazy shite, didn’t like him at all. Walked in on ‘em fightin’ once, poor fella.”

“Poor fella?” Jensen asked with an edgy grin. “What, uh, happened to him?”

Filip was quiet for a moment longer than was comfortable for Jensen. A wicked smile unfurled on his lips, enhancing the Glasgow smile etched into his face. “Let’s hope you never have to find out, aye?”

The older man in the dapper gray suit chuckled darkly and smacked Jensen on the back. “Sun’s getting low boyo, best be getting the bride ready for a walk down the aisle to ya.”

He turned and sauntered back down the hill towards where Y/N would be getting ready. Jensen took a moment to compose himself and found the whole thing slightly humorous. Y/N was like no one he’d ever known. Even her closest family and friends were characters, and even though they may be slightly frightening, he was looking forward to the day they called him family, too.

  The music started playing, and Jill appeared at the end of the aisle wearing an off the shoulder, plum colored dress. As the Maid of Honor, she walked slowly, smiling at the smattering of guests. Keeping it to close friends and family, there were less than fifty people in attendance, which provided a wonderfully intimate setting. When she arrived at the end, everyone stood up and reacted to seeing Y/N standing there on Filip’s arm.

Jensen’s breath stopped. He tried to swallow the swell of emotion that build up, but his throat had gone completely dry. She was breathtaking. He didn’t notice the details of her dress, or exactly how she had her hair done. All he could see were how her eyes were locked with his, and twinkled with the future that waited for him there.

Traveling, holidays, quiet nights… kids. All of it. Everything he’d wanted with a girl that was meant to be his.

She arrived at the altar, and Jared cleared his throat. Standing in as the Officiant of the Ceremony, he asked who gave this woman to this man.

Filip cleared his throat, and cast a look over to Jill, who warned with her eyes that he’s to answer and move on; no shenanigans.

“I do,” he replied and clapped Jensen on the shoulder and grinned, “I give her, happily.”

Once Filip was sat in the front row, Jared continued on with the ceremony.

“When Jensen first told me about meeting Y/N, he said that she was the kind of girl that made you question your future. He thought of her as his Cinderella. The perfect girl who got away, never to be seen again. But she proved him wrong. That’s when I knew I approved. Anyone that can prove this man wrong, is a superstar in my book.”

Jared raised his brows in jest and Jensen sighed loudly, hanging his head in mock shame. A ripple of laughs worked its way through the guests, and once it was quiet again, Jared placed a hand on both Jensen’s and Y/N’s shoulders.

“In all seriousness, you two have found an amazing connection of love that most people only dream of. I am honored to be a small part of this and cannot wait to watch you both grow in love from now until the end of days. Thankfully, you’ve written your own vows, so I will now shut up and let you have at it.”

Jensen may have been comfortable on con stages, in front of cameras and even behind them, but right then, his nerves were maxed out. Before him, stood not only the most beautiful woman he’d ever known but the only one who had ever made him feel complete. He didn’t remember what life was like before knowing her, and he never wanted to again. Now, he finally had her right where he wanted her and planned on telling her just how much he was going to love her for the rest of his life.

He drew in a deep breath and began…

Part 4: Best. Christmas. Ever. (Christmas Fic)

[kzspbrak]

story time! you said you wanted a story in ur inbox so i wrote out on of my favorite little tales i was told as a child but i can't remember it perfectly and also i just wrote this as fast as possible so god knows it needs editing that i'm too lazy to do rn lmao. anyway, here is the story of the happy prince.

there once was a prince who lived within the castle at all times. he ran and played in the gardens day after day, never without a smile. the happy prince loved everything about life and his friends and family. sadly, the happy prince met his demise at the young age of only 10 years old. in memory, the townspeople put up a large statue made of gold on he highest hill in the city. the statue was gorgeous, over 10 feel y'all so it could overlook the entire kingdom with his eyes made of emeralds. he stood leaning with a golden sword with a ruby in the hilt.

one day in late fall, a swallow looked all over the kingdom for her friends. they were supposed to go south for the winter, but they must have left without her! the sun was beginning to fade so she decided it best to rest in the kingdom one more day before beginning her journey to a warmer country. she laid down right in between the happy princes feet, puffed up her feathers, and began to drift off. before long, a drop of water hit her head. she looked up to see clear skies with no clouds anywhere to be seen. another hit her. she flew up to the princes shoulder in order to get a better view. they she saw that they were water drops at all! they were the years of the young prince. "my dear prince! why are you crying?" she cripped. the prince replied "i am the happy prince because i was happy when i was living. i grew up in a castle, never aware of the poverty and sadness the townspeople dealt with. even tough my heart is now many of lead and no longer beats, it still breaks for them." the swallow almost began to cry just at his words. "my prince, i am so sorry!" "i want to help them, but i'm forever stationary here. will you do me a favor?" "of course, but i must be off by sunset." "it won't take long, i promise. i can see a young mother in a small hut through her open window. her face is sunken in and her hair is falling out. her young baby sits, crying with a fever. she had no money for food or medicine. if i do not help, the child will surely die. please, take the ruby from my sword and deliver it to her." without hesitation, the swallow pecked at the ruby until it come out of its place and headed into the city. she found the mother asleep at her working desk and the baby crying to the side of her. she swallow gently placed the ruby next to the woman for her to see when she wakes. the woman awoke soon after the bird had flown away and began weeping tears of joy and thanking the heavens. the prince smiled for the first time since his death. "thank you for helping." he said.

the next morning, the swallow woke up later than usual. "good morning, swallow" said the prince. "good morning, prince" responded the swallow as she stretched her wings, about to take flight. "swallow! oh dear swallow, can't you stay another night?" "i need to migrate to warmer countries. i need to find my family and friends." "far away on the other side of town i see a young man in a small attic, writing furiously. he's an author and he's trying to finish his new book, but he has no wood to burn or food to eat. i want to help him. my eyes are made from emerald. i want you to bring one to him." the swallow relented and stayed one more night o help the starving author. she pecked at his left eye until the gem came out and flew across the city to find the writer. he didn't hear the bird fly in and drop the stone on the table behind him. when he turned, he jumped to his feet with joy, believing it had been given to him from a fan of his writing. the swallow made her way back to the prince.

"i have come to say goodbye." "dear swallow, can't you stay one more night?" "my prince, it is almost winter. i must leave. i will freeze to death if i do not go." "please, swallow, this is one more favor i ask of you. there is a girl. she was sent out by her father to sell matches for money, but she has dropped the matches into a puddle of water and they are now all ruined! her father will beat her and the whole family will go to bed hungry without the profits. please, swallow, take my right eye and bring it to her." the swallow nodded. "i'll stay one more night, but i can not take out your other eye! you won't be able to see!" "it hurts me more to have to sit here and watch the suffering of this city. i don't want to see their sadness anymore. please do as I say. take away my sight." so she did. she flew next to the girl and dropped the emerald into the girls hand. "what a pretty piece of glass! i must show papa!" exclaimed the little girl before she ran out giggling with joy.

The swallow cake back and perched on the princes shoulder once more. "i assume you are leaving now" said the prince. "i've decided to stay here and be your eyes." the prince asked her fly around the town and tell him off of what was happening. she saw homeless people desperately trying to light a fire in an alley way while rich people were throwing a party. she saw the weak faces of starving children. benieth a bridge, sat two boys, curling into each other trying to keep warm. she told all her findings to the prince with a tear in her eye. "i am made of gold. peel me away piece by piece and take it to the poor. people think gold is what makes you happy, but it's not. to be happy is to be healthy and content. the swallow did as she was told until the prince looked week and miserable. the delivered the pieces of gold to all the poor in the kingdom. meanwhile, it had began to snow. every night, the swallow peeled off more and more of the prince and help d those on the streets until there was no more left.

the poor swallow was freezing but she didn't want to leave the prince alone. she loved him. she used the last of her strength to get to the princes shoulder. "good bye, my dear prince." "so you've decided to leave for the warmer countries after all?" the swallow couldn't bring herself to tell him where she was going, so she kissed his cheek and fell on the ground next to him. at the moment, a large crack was hear all around them. it was the lead heart of the prince breaking.

in the morning, the people began to surround the prince in amazement. they saw his weak outlines, no longer strong and reinforced with gold. next, they saw the lifeless bird laying next to him. everyone looked so sad until a voice was heard in the crowd. it was the writer! "i understand now. they sacrificed themselves for us. me for my emerald and you for your gold. they sacrificed themselves for our happiness. so go! be happy! do not let sadness overtake you! don't let them die in vain! they had the two most pure hearts in all the kingdom and forever it shall stay that way."

[sighingstarbeam]

Spies and Gods Chapter 13

Word Count: 3,988

A/N: I am SO sorry for the late update! I have a million excuses but the top two are work and writer's block. Needless to say I am back and hopefully I can crank out more chapters of this as well as a few chapters of new works. School is getting back in session soon but this will quench y'alls thirst for a little bit. Also, I edited some parts in a few chapters since I wasn't totally satisfied with them after rereading a few. I don't remember what I changed, but it shouldn't be anything major except for the name Nick changing to Nate. Stay safe and happy readings!

Chapter 12 | Chapter 14

He stood in front of you, arm outstretched as flames engulfed his entire being. His black eyes reflected the flames as they bore into your soul. You wanted to run from the boy on fire, yet your legs refused to work in your favor. The heat was unbearable as he inched closer, and closer, and closer. With a shaky hand his grip was near your throat until a familiar voice whispered your name in your ear, causing the boy in flames to recede back into the darkness.

You woke up from your deep, yet stressful sleep. Usually you wouldn’t get hangovers, but considering what happened the night before your body was heavy from exhaustion. Your head didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, but there was a consistent, dull throb that surfaced every so often. The dream you had crept back into your mind, especially the voice that called your name. Even though it was so clear, you couldn’t place whose it was. The boy in flames was all too familiar. He was there almost every night. A sharp knock at the door distracted you from your thoughts. 

You checked your phone to see the time; eight in the morning on the dot. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you shuffled out of bed. Your head pounded harder when you got to your feet, then it settled down after a moment getting yourself oriented. There was a second knock, faster this time, signaling you to hurry up. You opened the door allowing the light from the hallway to flow in your room, causing you to squint your eyes to adjust from the sudden brightness. Even though your eyes felt like they were being stabbed by light, you could still see the tall figure standing in the doorway.

“Loki, what are you doing here? It’s too early.” You asked, rubbing your eye hoping it would help adjust to the light faster.

“Good morning to you as well.” He replied, “You’re looking awfully unprepared for today. First impressions are everything on your first day. You’re lucky I even let you sleep in.” Loki visibly eyed you up and down. Your hair was a mess, there was leftover makeup smudged on your face, and your pajamas were days overdue for a wash. 

This time when you squinted it was in confusion, “First day for what?” After you spoke you remembered the agreement you made with Loki the night before. “I completely forgot. Can you give me, like, thirty minutes so I can shower and eat?”

Loki tapped his chin, pondering your question, “I’ll allow it. However, if I have to wait for you again, I may have to resort to a suitable punishment.”

You rolled your eyes, “Cool, whatever. Just let me shower so I don’t smell like overpriced liquor.” You shut the door on Loki before he had a chance to say anything else. His foot halted the door before it could close entirely. Loki barged through, closing the door behind him so it was just the two of you in your room. 

“Allow me to clarify the terms of our bargain,” Loki stated, “even though I changed our agreement, the fact stays that I am still the one who is in a higher position no matter which deal you chose. I would highly advise you to be a little more respectful if you don’t want your dear Avenger friends to know that you and I were outside of these walls.” 

You tilted your head in a mix of confusion and annoyance, “Are you blackmailing me?” You scoffed, “You realize that if you tattle on me you’re tattling on yourself.”

“I’m highly aware. However, I’m already dealing with my punishment.”” Loki paced around the room, eyeing your belongings like it was his own personal museum, granted you didn’t have much on display. Dirty clothes were here and there, thankfully nothing embarrassing other than some shirts and a pair of pants. The only thing worth looking at was a framed photo of you, Maya, and Lilly on your dresser. Loki picked up the frame, inspecting the photo, “They refuse to put me in anyone else’s care other than their own for safety measures, so they can’t send me somewhere else. You on the other hand are disposable.”

You snatched the picture from his hand as if he was contaminating it somehow, “I’m not disposable,” you mocked his accent, “I have value here, they even said I could be part of the team. True I’m still gaining some trust, but...” Loki’s words were starting to make sense to you. They see Loki as a bigger threat than you, and with many of the members having personal experiences with him of course the Avengers refuse to let anyone else have custody. You on the other hand showed up out of the blue with a sob story and no trust to be earned. If they had to choose between the lesser of two evils, ironically you would be first on the list to kick out. Even if they don’t force you to leave, the respect you did manage to earn would be tossed out and you would have to start from square one. Once again, Loki was backing you into a corner of choices with only one viable answer.

Loki noticed you were putting the pieces together in your head, “Are we in agreement?”

You shrugged in exasperation, “Yes, fine we’re in agreement. Just don’t rat us out.” You put the photo back in it’s spot while you were on your way to the bathroom, stopping at the door, “Can you wait a minute so I can shower now?”

“Yes, you may.” Loki said, gesturing his arm out as if verbal permission wasn’t enough. 

Upon entering the bathroom with your makeup still scattered around the counter from the night before, you slammed the door to make sure Loki got the hint that you weren’t completely satisfied with your deal. 

You turned the handles in the shower, filling the room with the sound of flowing water and hot steam. Still sore from the night prior, you slowly undressed down to your bare skin. Looking in the mirror, you observed the bruises Nate left when he was dragging you into his car. Shame, embarrassment, regret, so many emotions filled you to the point your stomach began to churn. How could you be so stupid? You were a trained spy taught to spot any sign of danger to protect yourself. The moment a guy you thought you had a chance with came into your life, you let your guard down for one second, leading to everything going to shit. The reason you were put into that position in the first place was because you let your pride get to you after your fight with Loki. If you would have sucked it up and gone back to the party you could have at least pretended to enjoy the rest of the night. You wanted to blame Loki so bad. Blame him for putting you into that position. Yet deep down you know no one was truly at fault. Loki even saved you the second he knew something was wrong. The only thing you could do now was forget the whole ordeal happened. 

You stepped into the hot shower, the soreness in your body melting away. You promised yourself to quit thinking about the attack or anything to do with it, but your mind kept slipping to the thought of Loki saving you. You know he carried you to the car, and from what you pieced together you know he messed Nate up pretty good. Perhaps there is some kindness in that god’s heart. Yet again, you were his ride home, and if you ended up missing on his accord you had a feeling that the team wouldn’t like that at all, so he was obliged to rescue you. 

It was all over and done with, so there is no reason for you to dwell on it any longer.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around yourself. You proceeded to brush your teeth and prepare for the “highly” anticipated day ahead of you. Opening the door, you didn’t expect Loki to still be in your room, sitting on your bed. 

“Loki! What are you still doing here?” Making sure your towel was on securely, you hid halfway behind the bathroom door, “When I said to wait while I get ready I didn’t mean for you to wait here.” 

“It wasn’t my intention on being here when you were finished,” Loki said, making eye contact with you but not daring to look anywhere else, “but your father is waiting for you outside.” 

Your eyes widened, “What does he want?”

“I’m not sure, but I told him you were changing to buy you some time.” 

If you could, your eyes widened even more, “You talked to him? Did it even occur to you what Tony would think as to why you’re in my room this early in the morning?”

“Don’t be obscure, I answered as you.” He turned his head to the door, “I suggest you hurry though, it’s been a little over five minutes since I, I mean you, spoke to him.” 

You let out an annoyed groan. Opening the bathroom door fully, you stepped forward and grabbed Loki by the arm, forcing him to stand and walk with you. “Hide. If he sees you- me… us, we’re dead.” With that you shoved him in your bathroom and shut the door. Quickly you found a pair of pants and shirt to throw on, even if they were from the dirty pile of clothes. 

“Sorry about that, when did you get back-” You opened your door not to be greeted by Tony, but one of his Iron Man suits. “...Why are you suited up?”

“I’m not,” the suit said as the helmet opened, revealing no one inside, “I’m still in Norway.” His suit took a few steps into your room. When he entered you closed the door behind you leaving a small gap in between the door and the frame. “We don’t have the nitty gritty details in stone but we have the green light to relocate the Asgardians. Your idea is getting somewhere, kid.”

“Really?” you beamed, “That’s great news, what’s the next step?”

“Thor is mapping out an old town named Tønsberg. It’s practically abandoned and has plenty of houses and stuff for them to get started. A lot of the buildings are worn down and need updates, but in a few months we should have everything set up for a new society.”

You were lost for words, but in the best of ways. An idea of yours was going to impact an entire civilization, to give them a second chance on an alien world. In some ways, you could compare yourself to the Asgardians. Both you and them had to watch the world around go to ruins, only to arrive somewhere new in hopes of sanctuary, or at least a stepping stone to carry on with life. Funny enough, with your situation Loki directly destroyed New York to rule it, but indirectly destroyed Asgard to save the people. Not that you were going to thank him for nearly enslaving the planet, but it was an odd comparison. 

“When can the people of Asgard move to Tønsberg?” You ask, “Or are they going to call it something new since they’re calling dibs. Asgard two-point-oh?” 

You could hear a static chuckle from his end, “Something like that. They’re going to send groups at a time to help with the renovations, then we can send families and such.” A moment of silence filled the room, as you thought that’d be the end of your conversation, until Tony spoke up again, “So about lunch plans-”

“We don’t have to plan it now,” you interrupt, “I understand that you and Thor have a lot of planning to do, we can talk about it when you’re really here.”  

Tony nodded, “Alright then, I’ll just go break the news to your gothic neighbor and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ha, your gothic neighbor. Oh fu- “Or! Before you talk to him, if you do have the time, we can talk about ideas on where to go.” You tried to nonchalantly change the subject. Two things could go down if Tony found that Loki wasn’t in his room; number one, Loki stayed hidden in the bathroom and you get blamed for losing him on your watch, which you technically didn’t. Number two, Loki reveals he was in the bathroom the whole time, leading Tony to ask why the hell he was in there when you said you were getting dressed, leading to a bigger branch of possibilities that could all explode in your face. Either option you despised. “I’ve been living in New York for a few months, but I’ve only been to so many places that fit with my budget. I’d like to explore and try new things.”

Tony tilted his head, you thought he was calling your bluff until he shrugged, “There’s a ton of local places that are pretty good, but if you want to be adventurous there’s a seafood place on 51st…” As Tony went on about restaurants, you prayed to whoever Loki got the hint to get back to his room or you’re both in deep shit. And as if on cue, someone listened. You saw the door creep open just a couple of inches, and on the ground a small, green and black snake slithered behind Tony’s feet, out of your barely opened door, and out of sight. You tried to keep your composure and eyes focused on the suit until you heard the hardly noticeable sound of Loki’s door opening then closing. You finally relaxed the tension in your shoulders knowing that you were home free. “Any of those sound good to you?”

You snap back to the conversation between Tony and yourself, “Uh, yeah those sound good. Any of those Italian?”

“I mentioned a couple, but I can set us up with something nice.” Tony said as he headed towards the door, “I’ll catch you around, kid.” With that he closed the door behind him to tell Loki the news, unbeknownst to Tony he already did. 

You let out a sigh of relief as you plopped yourself onto your bed. You desperately wanted to crawl back under the covers and sleep, but you knew you’d have to deal with the wrath of Loki again, which was quite annoying the first time. Forcing yourself up, you decided to face the day, even if it meant spending time with a stupid face. 

---

Once again you found yourself in the sparring arena where you fought Bucky. This time you were facing an annoying god from another world that happens to have leverage over you, at least for the time being. You kept thinking to yourself it would only be two weeks that you would have to endure this stupid deal you stupidly made that you never thought through since you were being so stupid. If you could endure years of torturous training with Hydra, you could last a couple weeks with the trickster god. 

For now you have to try to grin and bear it. Maybe once this was all over you could try to gain the upper hand in your complicated partnership, if you wanted to call it that.

“Are you familiar with Asgardian style combat?” Loki asked, adjusting the gauntlets on his wrists. You shook your head ‘no’, “Of course not.” He said under his breath, “Warriors from Asgard are taught to be resourceful in their surroundings as well as use their talents to their advantage. One would normally prefer a weapon that best suits an ability they excel in. For example, someone who uses brute strength would wield something to channel that energy, like my brother and his hammer. Or someone who has a keen eye would use something with precision such as a bow and arrow, like your friend Barton.”

You stretched your arms as you listened to Loki rambling about Asgardian fighting. The more he spoke the more you realized how he had some passion behind his teaching. The way he described the history and methods of Asgardian fighting was almost like he was retelling tales that he either lived through or were told as a child. You noticed a glint behind those green eyes of his. 

“What do you use?” You interrupt Loki mid-rant.

Loki raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry?”

“If Thor has a hammer and Clint has a bow, what’s your weapon that suits you?”

Loki sighed, disappointed that you broke him off from his history lesson, “Personally I use-” He stopped mid sentence, “On second thought, how about I show you and you can come to your conclusion.” Loki conjured a dagger in each hand, without warning he lunged for the attack. 

By startled instinct, you countered Loki’s movements with every stab and slice he threw at you. You were all too familiar with daggers and knives. A knife was an accessible weapon that could be used up close or at a distance with proper aim. Hydra made sure that every child could work up close and personal or throw with the aim of a marksman in order to finish the job.  You couldn’t help but be reminded of the first butterfly knife you were given to practice with. The same knife you were given a week after being released from solitary confinement when you were forced to murder your best friend. Specially given to you by Kilcher himself, now forever buried under the rubble of a building. More should have been lost and forgotten in the debris. Your pain, memories, nightmares that you have every night of the torments you had to endure and bestow to others. Engulfed under concrete with Kilcher and the other Hydra men who well deserved their deaths. 

Now wasn’t the best of times to brood. You snapped back to reality when you miscalculated an incoming attack, giving Loki advantage to catch you off guard. You knew he was a god, but you didn’t anticipate how strong he was. Fortunately for you, you had already disarmed Loki of both daggers.

“I’m impressed,” he said, pinning you down, “I was told that you already possessed some skill in hand to hand combat. No wonder you chose a fight with the Captain’s lackey.” 

That’s right, you remembered he mentioned at the club that somebody told him about your predicament. Who told him and how much they told, you had no idea, but you didn’t really appreciate someone going around gossiping about you, particularly to the guy kicking your ass. 

“Who?-” You grunted, struggling under his weight, “Who’s been telling you all of this? There’s no way anyone from the team explicitly told you my life story.”

“You’re right, no one told me directly,” he replied, “however, people like to talk when they think no one else is around to the people they trust most. If one were to look like their trusted person, you can get them to tell you anything. And you might have slipped some information to me here and there.” Confused, you didn’t know what he was implying. Then you remembered he was a shapeshifter. He was disguising himself as the other members to talk to them. Whether it was to gain intel or to ease his loneliness you weren’t positive, either option was sad. For all you knew, instead of talking to Natasha or Thor you were really talking to Loki. You hoped to whoever that you didn’t say anything embarrassing to possibly/possibly not Loki.

Throwing your hips to the side, you managed to slide your leg over his waist, allowing you to get out from under him. You were at the advantage now; blocking his attacks, reacting to his movements, you refused to let Loki beat you. Just like we used to spar, remember? His voice shot through your mind. Marcus, the boy who brought light to a blackened prison. The boy who taught you how to make good moments count.

The boy whose death was brought by your hands. 

Memories flashed before your eyes. The two of you practicing in the courtyard the new moves that were taught. You don’t know why but in this moment with Loki you felt a wave of nostalgia. Seeing your guard go down, Loki took the opportunity to not hold back. You could barely keep up with the attacks as you pushed your intrusive thoughts away. 

Before making your next move, a voice from the intercom startled you, “What are you two doing?” The voice boomed. 

Startled by the sudden noise, you missed an attack that sent you tumbling to the ground. You regained your composure before looking up to see Steve, and he looked pissed. “Anyone care to explain what the hell I just witnessed?” Steve asked, his usual go-lucky demeanor long gone. 

Loki stepped back from you, showing off his charismatic smile to woo the Captain, “If I may-”

“I don’t want to hear a word from you.” Steve snapped, “I want to hear from her.”

All eyes on you, time seemed to slow down and speed up as you tried to think of a valid excuse. “It was my idea,” you began, “I was feeling rusty with fighting and everyone was busy with missions and stuff, so Loki is my voluntary human punching bag.”

Loki looked offended, “I’m not a human nor a punching bag, but yes she requested my assistance in sparring and as I clearly have nothing else to do I said yes.”

Steve rubbed his chin in thought. He trusted you way more than Loki, but he couldn’t help but feel like Loki was up to something. “Alright. I don’t have a say in this since it’s not my call, but I don’t want to see this happen again until you get Tony’s permission.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “Fine, I’ll ask him.” Steve nodded, then glared at Loki before leaving the gallery. 

“You’re distracted.” said Loki, offering his hand to help you up.

“Of course I am,” you pointed up towards the gallery, “I totally would have had you if he didn’t interrupt.” You ignored his gesture and stood up on your own. Your body was already aching, you were sure there would be bruises by tomorrow. 

“That’s not what I’m talking about. There is something else intruding your thoughts. Allowing your memories to surface during combat can be beneficial, but also a distraction. You need to only think of your training and what drives you to fight.” Loki’s words were sincere. This was one of the few times his tone felt mocking or sarcastic. “If there are memories or something that you need to get off your chest, you need to find peace with it even if it’s for a few minutes.”

“What are you, my shrink?” You dusted yourself off of dirt from the mats, “Listen, I appreciate the lectures and words or wisdom, but I need to deal with my personal problems on my own. It’s nothing against you, honest. It’s just a thing I need to do. And quit shapeshifting into my friends. If you want to talk to someone you can always ask.” 

Loki nodded, “I will respect that.” You were surprised with how mature he was handling this. It was almost sweet. “Now that I’ve seen exactly how much you can handle, I can determine our future sessions from this point forward.” he said as you both exited the arena.

“Right, if we even have future sessions. I need to talk to Tony and get his blessing.”

“I’m sure he will allow you to use me as a ‘human punching bag’.” He smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

[anodyne-sunflower]

Love me like you do (Part 18)-Balem series

A/N: Ok! Sorry for the wait. Let me start by saying this chapter is just a bit longer than most. And it skips around a bit to get in everyone’s current events lol So, sorry if that’s too much for y'all. But, necessary for my plot! Also, I’m sure y'all just want smut in this but this isn’t that kinda chapter lol But, I hope you like it anyway. This chapter gave me hell. I have been writing and editing it since Friday. It took me so long because I had to decide what was important enough to leave in, and just ugh. So, it’s not my favorite one. But, again, very necessary for me to advance my story. ❤️ Enjoy

MOOD MUSIC: Cherry by Lana Del Rey

****

Being outside his door knowing he was just behind it, there was something off about the feeling. It was as if you needed to be in that room right along with him. But, going back in now was an even weaker idea. Once Balem grew angry, he’d stay in that sour mood for god knows how long. And even if you felt the need to go in and maybe…talk? Just thinking of it aggravated you. There was no reason for you to apologize to him, you were more than positive on that. He could do with learning some compassion, but you knew nothing you said or goaded him with would work. Still, there was no honor in throwing someone’s fate in the hand’s of another. You felt wrong about that, it was a moment of your own guilt firing back at him. Yet, no matter the details it was still all so disappointing. His words hurt, simple as they were, just hearing him dismiss you in such a way, it caused this ache in your chest you couldn’t explain.

You sucked in a helpless breath, trying to fight back the tears. You were just angry, furious really, at everything. Losing Nevaeh, then immediately dealing with Balem. You just felt so alone now. Where were you even supposed to go? All you’ve known is his company, and here he was throwing you out like some…

“Worthless woman.” You sighed, biting on your lip as you felt the anger begin to rise again. Who could speak to his reasons, but there was something in his actions that suddenly dawned on you. How easy it was for him to cast people aside when it suited his mood. Up until now, he never really aimed his emotions at you. And really, you couldn’t imagine what got him mad to begin with. If he didn’t care for Nevaeh, then your blame shouldn’t have meant anything. He could’ve easily rolled his eyes and went about his business. Instead, something in him snapped and now here you stood just outside his chamber doors. He may not have raised his voice, but the venom behind his tone was enough to unsettle you.

It was far too much to deal with right now, and really you felt exhausted. Emotionally speaking, because right now all you wanted was a place to clear your thoughts and sleep for a couple of years. You clutched your heels in your hand, lifting up the edge of your green dress as you tried not to trip on it, and headed for the only other place you knew. The servants quarters.

You pushed passed the few staff collected around the outside. They seemed to be in the middle of working, and all you caught was something about cleaning the throne room. You could only imagine why, knowing fully well Balem had just come from there. But, you pushed those gruesome visuals aside, smiling at some of them as you moved to go inside. You weren’t really sure what your destination was, but you could work out the kinks later.

As you walked into the long hall, it finally grew quiet. A welcomed silence that had you letting out a relieved breath. You leaned back into the wall, suddenly aware of the stares you were getting. It was uncomfortable, almost like their gazes burned through your skin. You didn’t even need to look up, you had grown so used to their ugly looks by now.

“I see Lord Balem finally grew tired.”

Their giggles were highly frustrating, especially now amidst your inner turmoil. The nerve of them, you thought. Surely by now they were aware of what took place at dinner. How could they not? Gossip spread like wildfire around here, it was almost impressive. But, here these two women stood, shoving their jealousy in your face and not even seeming to care that one of their own was now lying dead somewhere. Your pain was hardly from the loss of a lover, but rather a friend. And even if your little spat with Balem was a worry, you didn’t spend much time on it. Your brain was just a mess and hearing them spew all these bitter comments wasn’t helping.

You looked up at them, glaring back with equal fervor. You were too big a person to say anything, knowing their hostility came from a very spurned place. But, that was hardly your fault.

“Excuse me.”

You gritted your teeth as you fled, trying your best to keep your dress from crowding around your feet. The only place that seemed safe was Nevaeh’s old room, and you scurried away into it, the door sliding down as soon as you were locked away inside.

“Finally.”

It was a relief, being able to block all of them out. You took a seat on the bed, holding your head in your hands as the day’s events began to roll off in waves. You really just wanted sleep, a moment away from all of this. But, that wasn’t likely to happen. You weren’t even sure of where you’d sleep tonight. Nevaeh’s room seemed the plausible choice, but part of you wondered what Balem would do or think of that. Would he bother himself with your whereabouts? After all, he appeared more than eager to be rid of you earlier.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the door slid open, revealing a pretty brunette. She had an uneasy smile on her face, fingers running over her long locks before she addressed you.

“Sorry about them. They don’t mean to be so-”

“Bitter?” You finished off, wanting this woman to go away. You had seen her around a few times though her name escaped you. It’s not like you wanted to be rude to the other staff, but none of them really cared or tried to get to know you. Most of them turned their backs once you started sleeping with Balem. Actually, they immediately despised you when he began to even show interest in you. It was pathetic really, how much they blamed you for his lack of affections towards them. You figured by now it’d be obvious he wasn’t the loving type, and considering they were aware of him prior to bedding him made it even harder to accept their hatred towards you. Even you had come to find how closed off the entitled could be.

“That’s one way to put it.” She laughed, hand resting on the doorframe. She didn’t try to come fully into the room, probably aware that you weren’t sold on her just yet. “Listen I…I just want you to know that…well this is a bit awkward.”

You could tell she wanted to say something big, but it appeared the words wouldn’t come out. It was annoying, and as much as you wanted to yell and send her away you held back. It wasn’t her fault all this tragedy happened.

“Sorry, I’m not very good at this. Anyway, my name is Evianna. We haven’t really met.”

You turned back to her, tucking some hair behind your ear as you tried to summon the energy to socialize. “Y/N.”

Evianna nodded with a smile, trying to figure out the atmosphere of this conversation. And while she shuffled awkwardly at the doorway, you grew more and more frustrated by her. It was like everyone had a thing for shoving their nose into someone’s business on this planet. If they weren’t plotting to kill someone that is.

“He’s not an easy man to love, is he?”

That was it, the magic words that had you seething now. Why was your emotions, or lack of, any of her business? Why did she feel the need to bring it up to begin with? It was like everyone was interested in your relationship with the Primary.

“Evianna-”

“I’m sure I’m over stepping. But, speaking as someone who was there once I just thought maybe you’d…” She paused, emphasizing her words with her hands. “I mean, you’re in the servant quarters. I just figured he finally-”

“Grew bored? Dumped me? Found someone better? I’m sure you’d all love that.”

She looked alarmed by your words, granted they were laced with animosity. But, it was growing tiresome to deal with the same thing. And truly you did feel they were all eagerly awaiting the day Balem became disinterested. And even though he had dismissed you so callously, you didn’t believe things were close to finished with him. However, Evianna shouldn’t be the target of your foul mood.

“I’m sorry. I just-”

But, it seemed she was already aware of your reasons. With a solemn smile, she nodded. “No, I’m sorry she didn’t deserve that.”

Evianna seemed kind enough, despite knowing what you knew of her and Balem now. She wasn’t unnecessarily rude towards you like the others. But, regardless of that fact you were in no mood for new friends. Nor did you want to talk. Grieving was the only thing you wished to do, along with mull over your own anger towards a certain Primary.

“She didn’t…” You spoke in a hushed tone, looking through some of Nevaeh’s things as you sat in her room. And though you wanted to be honest and let Evianna know you had no intentions of being close to her, you opted for your sweeter side. “I just really want to be alone right now. Sorry.”

“I understand. I really came in to apologize on behalf of the others. And I saw you come in and wondered why, so I assumed he…nevermind. Well, I’ll leave you be.”

You watched her go, finding some relief in the doors sliding closed. The room grew quiet once more, an eerie feeling coming over you when you realized Nevaeh wasn’t coming back in here again. Her stuff was left as is, small mementos of her former life lying around. She had briefly mentioned her family to you, and of course they became soldiers of Balem’s army. You wondered if they were aware of her death yet. She had said they were stationed elsewhere. You just hoped someone had informed them.

In the mean time, you were just happy to be alone. Even in this now empty room. You sat back against the headboard of the bed, throwing your heels to the floor and fumbling around with your extravagant dress. It felt wrong to be in it now, like you were practically shoving your status in everyone’s faces. Not that your title of ‘Balem’s lover’ was something to be entirely proud of. Even so, you needed to be out of this. If not for your own comfort as well.

There had to be something in here, as wrong as it felt to now take her clothes. But, you figured Nevaeh of all people wouldn’t mind you borrowing her stuff. You jumped from the bed and kneeled down to the dresser, opening up various drawers until you came upon some simple looking attire. It wasn’t as beautiful or likely expensive as the gowns Balem dressed you in. But, it was closer to something you’d wear on the daily back on earth.

You rose back up, pulling the dress from your body and casting it aside in your wish to rid yourself of Balem’s hold. Spiteful or not, it felt good in this moment to let that go. And you quickly changed into your new outfit. Simple black leggings, boots and top. It wasn’t as revealing as the Primary would’ve liked, but this wasn’t for him anymore. And for once it felt great to move around without tripping on a long train of a gown.

***

Balem sat silently at his study, lips against his knuckles as he stared out of his bedroom windows. He had a good view of his city and the refinery, and even though he was deep in his own reflections he kept his eye on the beacon of his success. It was often like this for him, multitasking his every thought. There wasn’t any other way to exist in this world without that ability, and he prided himself on that. But, that was proving harder to do this time around. He was irritated, every little thing bringing his mood to a boil. He went so far as to nearly scream at the help who came through those doors. Whether it be his guards or servants. Each one of them was subjected to his cruel tone. Not that he felt pity for them, he was happy to have them leave his chambers and allow him the sanity of his own silence.

It hadn’t been long since you had left his room, but he felt the loss of your presence in the very air of it. It was strange to him, he had grown so used to being alone behind these walls for thousands of years. And it was only now that he became aware of how quiet it could be. It was almost unsettling for him. Women came and went over the centuries, and somehow he could not bring himself to let you go just yet. Your absence baited him into a sense of confusion, and anger. One that didn’t sit well with the Primary. For a man who was often in control, in this very moment he felt like it was slowly slipping from his grasp. Along with his rationality in this relationship he held with you. It should’ve been as simple as sex for him, as it always was. But, every time he found himself locked in your embrace, in your passion…it drew him into this moment of unbridled need. One that made him want to pull away and keep a distance from you.

How you came to cause him such trouble, he didn’t know. All he could safely say for himself, was that he didn’t care for that look in your eyes. The very one that angered him in the first place. You could taunt him, push him until he broke his reserved countenance time to time. Because, he allowed you that rare privilege. He even found some of your little quips amusing on occasion. But, for you to stare him down with that disappointed glare, it caused him a grief he couldn’t quite comprehend.

“What do you want, Mr. Night?” Balem didn’t bother looking towards his doors, he could already feel the covetous gaze of his advisor on him. Ever the eager one to please the entitled. Even at the expense of Balem’s temperament.

“Forgive me, my Lord. I only wish to advise you that your throne room has been…taken care of.”

Balem licked his lips and sighed, rubbing softly at his temples in mild annoyance. And while he should be getting back to his work, he felt no compulsion to do so.

“Very well.”

He waved the splice off, eyes still fixed upon the horizon of his dynasty. His mind was currently occupied with other things, matters of the flesh that didn’t concern anyone but him and you. And while he was aggravated by your most recent actions, he had this desire to see you.

“Mr. Night.”

The splice stopped just at the doorway, turning with a nervous step. It was never a good thing when Balem stopped him, he had grown to learn that. So one couldn’t blame him for his anxieties around the man.

“Yes, Lord Balem?”

“The girl. Bring her to me.”

“My Lord?”

The Primary shifted some papers on his desk, allowing himself the peace of mind to get back to work while he awaited your arrival.

“Don’t be foolish, Mr. Night.” He sent a threatening glance towards the advisor, the message all too clear in his green eyes. “Y/N. Find her, and bring her to me. Now go!”

The splice bowed, muttering out a ‘right away’ before hastily moving out of Balem’s chambers to retrieve you for the Primary.

***

The standard Abrasax temper, that’s what Kalique’s mood could be attributed to. She swiped her hands over her dining table, throwing food and wine to the ground in her fury. Her nails dug sharply into the crystal top, her breath coming out in shallow pants. She had never been so irate, but being the sister to the most powerful man in the universe could cause anyone grief.

“Suppose your assassin wasn’t as resourceful as promised.”

Titus took a casual sip of his drink, giving his sister a smug look that only fueled her temper. But, he tried to tell her over and over again. But, correct as he was, leave it to his siblings to discount his ideas.

“Do you have any idea how much I paid that man to kill our brother?!”

She screamed, directing her finger in a random direction for emphasis to her point. Cygnus could, and probably would die for his offense against her. It would appear his assassins and his poisons proved fatal. Only on the wrong person, and worst of all? Good money wasted on the life of no one of importance.

“I should have known.” Kalique composed herself, lifting her hands in defeat before sitting back on her chaise lounge. She had had enough of all this plotting, at least for a long while. It wouldn’t be the first time Titus and her attempted such a feat. But, Balem was not an easy man to get close to, he always had guards on him. She figured poison would be the answer, after all Balem enjoyed his wine far more than anyone she knew. “This is lunacy. I once believed him to be nothing, a simple stone in my shoe…growing up he always ran to Mother for everything. I would’ve never guessed he’d turn out to be the man he is now.”

Titus took her words in stride, shrugging his shoulders and looking out of the windows of her alcazar. “He is not untouchable, Kalique.”

“Oh, but he is. He is, Titus. You think he’ll hide away behind his palace walls? He may not directly see us as a threat, insulting enough as that is! But, he won’t just stand back. If we try again…he will kill us both.”

“You worry too much, it’ll give you wrinkles.”

“Titus!” She had enough of his carefree attitude, sometimes one had to know when they’re bested. And Balem had proven time and time again to slip through the cracks of their plans. She had no doubt he’d continue to do so. “Have you not heard a word I’ve said? This life, is better than none. The assassin hasn’t been heard from. Why do you think that is? You think Balem decided to break bread with him and make him an associate?” She scoffed, closing her eyes and rubbing at her temples in annoyance.

“I’ve no doubt in my mind, he knows we did this. And if we strike again, he will pay it back tenfold.”

“Balem won’t try to strike back. We both know he will not waste time or resources trying to fight us.”

Titus smiled at her worry, dropping his boots from the table and walking over to her. He took a seat on the edge of her lounger, gripping her shoulders in reassurance.

“And not out of the goodness of his own heart, sister. Which means he won’t be on guard anymore. He’ll think you’re done, that we’re done. Now is the moment! Do you trust me?”

Kalique eyed him carefully, trying to discern what his plan was. She was not an easily convinced woman, and never tried for anything that didn’t promise something back in return of greater value. But, Titus seemed so sure of himself this time around.

“What will you do?”

Titus hummed, smirking as he figured out his own way through this plan.

“Poison is a woman’s game, Kalique. Believe me, what I have planned out is so much better. Just relax, and enjoy the lovely night.”

He removed himself from her side, walking towards the balcony and staring outside towards the stars. He could find beauty in this planet, and yet nothing could compare to the one his aspirations were set on.

“I will paint those palace walls red with our dear brother’s blood.”

***

A/N: As always, feedback highly appreciated. 💜

[michael-runs-hot-guerin]

I had an inspiration and then I fucked up and posted it auffjfjF edit: cross posted to ao3

--

Michael was drunk out of his mind at the bar beside Alex, chattering incessantly at Maria about the excellent quality of the alcohol and the excellent quality of his boyfriend's lips.

"Don't you have any other hobbies?" she asked, looking somewhat desperately to Alex, who could only shrug.

"No, see, as a bisexual, I can only like two things, and I have chosen drinking and Alex. I got everything I like right here," Michael said, and he peeled himself off the bar to give Alex a smooch on the cheek.

"Oh my god. Okay, why don't you stick to drinking water for the rest of the night," he said, carefully re-centering Michael on his stool.

Maria placed a glass of water in front of Michael as he booed. "Water on the rocks."

He booed louder, but he drank it anyway. "I'm only drinking this 'cause I like Alex."

"You've said. Repeatedly," Maria said dryly, but she finally had a chance to get away, and she took it as Michael crunched on the ice.

Alex finished off his second beer as Michael dropped both of his hands on the counter, epiphany clear on his face. "I like Alex more than drinking."

"I'm right here."

Michael blinked and looked around. He took Alex's hands in his very seriously. "I like you more than drinking."

"Oh good, because I like you having a functional liver more than drinking."

Michael ducked his head to look at his own abdomen. "Do I have a liver?"

"All right, we're done." Alex dug a couple bills out of his wallet to leave on the bar, and Maria stopped to give him two water bottles. "Let's go sober up a little outside."

"DeLuca! Hey DeLuca!" Michael said as he stood with a wobble, steadied by Alex. "Guess what?"

"What, Guerin?"

"I love Alex," he announced.

She rolled her eyes and wiped off the counter. "Tell us something we don't know."

"I might not have a liver?"

Maria ignored him to smile at Alex. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks," he said, Michael already clinging to him like a leech. "Guerin, you have to help walk or switch sides."

He switched to Alex's left and also attempted to walk, and they made it out of the Wild Pony and to the bed of Michael's truck without issue. Alex pulled the gate down and dropped his boyfriend there to open their water bottles.

"I wanna go to bed," Michael said, falling backwards heavily.

"Drink the water, and I'll drive us home once I no longer feel buzzed."

He sat back up and took the bottle. "Okay. I just told Maria, but you should know. I love you."

"I love you, too," Alex said patiently. "Drink that."

"Y'all hear that? Alex loves me!" he shouted to the people-less parking lot. Then he took a swig of the water and snuggled into Alex's shoulder. "Alex loves me."

Alex secured him there with an arm around his waist. His buzz wore down as Michael again babbled about how attractive he found Alex; he kept nodding off then waking himself up to talk about another thing that made Alex pretty.

When Alex finally felt sober enough to drive, he said, "All right, come on, gimme your keys."

"A kiss? Okay." Michael was way too drunk to land it, so Alex dug around his pockets while he was distracted. Success! Alex walked him to the passenger side, and he drove them home.

Michael: Being bisexual means I can only like two things so I’ve chosen drinking and Alex.