#i just figured it had been two months i probably should give u SOMETHIN but its fine i'll make smth better next time dw

[doubleminor]

jakub vrana of the detroit red wings.

click for higher resolution.

[thevioletjones]

Congrats on the kudos, u deserve it! I did not undestand if I'm supposed to choose one of the lines for the prompt or if I have to combine two or more lines lol. But if it is to choose only one: number 5. If more than one: 5 and 45. *---*

Thank you! I used both. Great inspiration, actually. It spun out of control! 😀

Prompt 2: “How much of that did you hear?” + “Why are you helping me?”

Interloper

“Jesus, Iggy, I’m gonna fuckin’ murder you myself one of these days,” Mickey threatened in exasperation.

They were both leaning over, hands on knees, gasping for air, just having run full-speed for at least twelve blocks. The pillars beneath the L tracks were now providing the mild seclusion they needed to wait out a cursory police search of the area.

“Ain’t my fault!” Iggy exclaimed defensively.

Mickey’s face scrunched up to a degree that only his dumbest family members could make it reach. “Yes it fuckin’ was! Who else’s fault would it be?”

He’d always kind of wondered how he was the only one in his crap-ass family to be gifted with at least half a brain. Well, him and his younger sister, Mandy. She was alright. Skanky and crazy, but not a total idiot. He couldn’t say the same for his brothers, male cousins, father, uncle, etcetera. Mickey couldn’t even get his begrudgingly favorite brother to follow a simple goddamn plan that would’ve kept them out of trouble when they were out committing crimes. He was just gonna have to start doing everything himself. Safety in numbers didn’t apply when the other member of your team seemed to have been lobotomized when no one was paying attention. It was probably all the meth. Mickey was smart enough to stay away from that particular bullshit. Didn’t want to become a scabby, denture-wearing, toothpick skinny, low-life with no mind left to lose. He was content to stick to coke and weed like a normal person.

“That old bitch came outta nowhere! Self-defense!”

“It ain’t self-defense if you’re robbin’ the joint, numbnuts! We’re lucky you fuckin’ missed!”

If he had it his way, Mickey wouldn’t be doing these petty robberies anymore. He much preferred bigger jobs, like gun and drug running. But times were tough, and he had to do what he had to do. He’d even considered getting a legit job for once in his life, but the skills he possessed weren’t exactly easily adaptable to the straight and narrow path. Being a criminal was how he was raised, and all he knew. It brought heat, but it was still a comfortable fit. Living without the constant presence of major risk would probably feel so foreign as to drive him crazier than a meth addiction in the long run.

The job Mickey’d lined up involved hitting up a few different borderline upmarket stores that’d opened up in their neck of the woods since the gentrifiers had set upon The Yards, then selling the goods to a guy he knew in the online black market trade. Not as lucrative as heavy metal and funny powder, but a decent payday nonetheless. Except fuckface over here who had to ruin everything by getting trigger-happy on Main while they were attempting to heist merchandise from location number two of three. If the pigs nabbed either one of them, they’d be going down for at least five to ten. Years. Mickey was done donating years to the prison industrial complex. The most he could afford was months at best.

“When’d you turn into such a giant asshole?” asked Iggy. “Oh, nevermind, probly when you started gettin’ it railed on the reg.”

A giant smile stretched across his perpetually dirty face, causing Mickey’s eyebrows to lift dangerously high on his forehead. Occasionally, his dumber-than-rocks older brother managed to think up some admittedly clever asides. Mickey didn’t know whether to punch him or give him daps.

Before he could decide, however, he heard a distinct little snicker from the other side of the large concrete column they were leaning on, raising his hackles to invisibly join his eyebrows in their heightened incredulity.

Mickey hastily rounded the pillar and grabbed the giggler by the shirt collar, hauling him to their side and pinning him next to Iggy with his forearm. He looked into the guy’s eyes, and finally registered who it was. He kinda sorta knew him from around town. Used to hang out with his sister back in high school. He was a lot scrawnier then. This version of the dude could probably hold his own with Mickey in a fight. He’d built some definite muscle.

“How much of that did you hear, asshole?” Mickey demanded, seeing Iggy flash the gun in his waistband in his periphery.

This idiot didn’t look as rattled as he should be, though. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“Considering I was here first, I guess… all of it?”

He was wearing an annoying little smirk, his green-blue eyes shining bright, and his red hair distracting Mickey as much as the light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks. He had a stupidly ultra-defined chin, and Mickey immediately hated it. His chin hadn’t looked like that when he was a 15-year-old pipsqueak.

“Wipe that smile off your face, bitch,” ordered Mickey, pressing his arm harder against the guy’s pale throat. “You think this is fuckin’ funny? You know who we are?”

The guy shrugged again, like this was all a casual conversation on the corner. “Mickey.” He glanced at his dumb, blonde, curlicue brother. “And Iggy, right? I used to hang out with Mandy all the time. Have a good memory.”

“Yeah? Well I remember your goofy ass too, Gallagher. I know where you live and I know who your family is, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your big mouth shut or I’ll pick ‘em off one by one and save you for last. Got it?”

The dude snorted, and Mickey wondered if he was some kind of crazy tweaker with no sense of propriety or self-preservation.

“You outta your goddamn mind or somethin’?” Mickey added. “I ain’t jokin’.”

“Look, Gallaghers don’t snitch, alright?” He held his hands up placatingly. “I promise not to say shit to anyone. It’s none of my business, and I really don’t care. That good enough for you?”

Mickey loosened his hold, but sized him up all the while. “Maybe. But it’s possible you need a little lesson to remember it good. Wouldn't want you to forget about the consequences of you breakin’ your word.”

The dude winced and shoved Mickey off. “I don’t need a fucking beatdown, Mickey. I get it.”

“Ohhhh,” Mickey singsonged derisively, meeting Iggy’s gaze. “He gets it.” He thumbed his eyebrow. “Guess I’m just s’posed to believe you, huh?”

“That would be ideal, yeah.”

Mickey had to give it to him; he almost cracked a smile. The kid had balls. Most people around their neighborhood cowered before a Milkovich like spring lambs. Still, he lived by a code, and letting some rando walk away unscathed when he had dirt on him just didn’t fit the rules.

He cocked his fist back to knock it into tall, pale, and red’s pearly white teeth, just as the stunted siren of a cop car rang out very close by. Their collective heads all snapped toward the sound, and after sharing a meaningful look between brothers, Iggy took off running once again, without a word.

Normally, Mickey would’ve followed hot on his heels, but some unknown force was keeping his useless feet stuck to the dirty ground, eyes watching as Gingerballs glanced around the column at the flashing lights, taking a very long look that wasn’t suspicious at all.

Before he could react outwardly, Mickey was pulled against a hard body, Gallagher’s warm breath sending a shiver down his spine as he whispered, “Be cool. I got you.”

Suddenly, big hands were caressing Mickey’s back, and despite a part of him not minding in the least, the rest of him stiffened considerably.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he rasped out, hearing the telltale slam of a car door, and attempting to pull away. But a strong grip held him close, spinning him around so that he was the one up against the concrete now.

“Saving your thug ass. I know this guy, okay? Just chill and follow my lead.”

Okay, what the hell was this surreal turn of events? Gallagher was bold as shit, cradling Mickey all gay like. Sure, Iggy had made a fag joke earlier, kicking off this whole… whatever it was, but still. This guy had no way of knowing it was based in reality. Did he?

And had Gallagher really been gay this whole time? How had Mickey never sniffed this scorching information out?

“What’s going on here, boys?”

The copper rounded the corner, genuinely swinging his nightstick like a cartoon character, and Mickey had to suppress a deep roll of his eyes.

“Milkovich?” Mr. CPD continued, extreme disbelief coloring his voice.

Mickey was abruptly reminded that he was currently stuck between a rock and a hard body, and nothing about their entanglement screamed anything other than gay, gay, super-fucking-gay. Not that Mickey hadn’t come to accept who he was and what he liked, but he didn’t go around spreading the truth all over town either. This could seriously damage his carefully crafted reputation.

“Tony!” Ian interjected, sparing him from having to invent some lame excuse, and the cop’s eyes snapped to him instead.

“Ian?” His tone was still dripping with astonishment.

“Yeah! What's up? How you been?”

Mickey shot him an ‘are you goddamn serious right now?’ look, and Ian just squeezed his hip in tacit reply.

“Uhhh… gooood? Care to explain whatever…” he waved his stick between them, “this is?”

Ian laughed and he figured the dude truly was a nutcase. Mickey was going to jail for sure.

“Um, well,” answered Ian, suddenly playing it very meek and demure, “Mickey and I were just… you know…”

“You and… Mickey?”

“Not fucking or anything! Just... hanging out?”

“Hanging out.”

“Yeah, you know how it is. I’m tryin’ to convince Mick here to come home with me, but he’s being squirrelly.” He shook his head and shrugged. “South Side guys.”

“What the fuck?” Mickey whispered harshly, completely taken aback.

Ian just squeezed him tightly again, which was not helping his whole brain scramble situation.

“Huh,” said Tony, a tone of acceptance seeping in. “Mickey Milkovich, eh? Wow.”

“Come on, Tony. I don’t have to tell you this is all a big secret, do I?” replied Ian.

“And blondie who ran away like there was a damn fire? Did he flee a threesome?”

Mickey frowned and fake-wretched, finally speaking up. “Fuck no, man. That was my dumbass brother. He don’t like cops.”

“Uh huh. And you and your brother didn’t happen to be getting into trouble about 15 minutes ago, did you?”

“No sir,” Mickey said with a mock salute.

Ian kicked at his foot in warning.

“He’s been with me since like 3 o’clock, Tone. Scout’s honor.”

Officer Tony eyed them both with a look of skepticism, but didn’t contradict Ian’s word. The CB sounded from the open window of the black and white, with some cop-speak crackling over the airwaves.

“Stay put,” said Tony, eyes lingering longer on Mickey’s than Ian’s. “Both of you.”

He retreated to answer the radio call, and Mickey let out a deep whoosh of air.

“Goddamn, Gallagher. You’re spinnin’ quite a yarn here.”

“Yep,” Ian agreed. “A big gay yarn.”

“How the fuck did you know—”

“That you’re gay? Well, I heard Iggy make that joke, obviously. Pretty specific bottom joke to make if you weren’t actually into it. Plus, I always had my suspicions.”

Mickey scoffed. “Yeah fuckin’ right!”

“I did!”

“Whatever. Why are you helping me?”

“Out of the kindness of my heart?”

“Try again.”

“I don’t know. Why not? Makes us even or something. Now you know I won’t rat you out. About any of it. I wouldn’t out someone like that, and I don’t give a shit about the illegal crap you’re wrapped up in. Tony Markovich is like turbo gay too. Used to bang my sister, I think, but he came out a couple years ago. He won’t let it slip about you. He’s not a total bastard just cuz he’s a cop, ya know?”

Mickey bit his lip in contemplation. Gallagher seemed pretty genuine. Still didn’t much make sense in his brain, but whatever.

“Fine. But you know what’s gonna happen if—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, kick my ass, kill my family, got it.”

“You’re a cocky little shit, ain’t you?”

Ian smirked again, and it was pretty sexy, actually. “Maybe.”

He had the gall to push against Mickey more fully, pressing the bottom halves of their bodies closer together.

Mickey gasped. “Gonna have to ask you again… what the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

“You wanna go out sometime?”

Mickey cackled in his face. “You’re off your fuckin’ rocker for sure.”

“Am not! I can tell you want me.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Cocky little shit doesn’t even begin to cover it, does it?”

“Come onnnn,” Ian prodded.

“Do I look like I date, Gallagher?”

“A date can be whatever we want it to be, Milkovich. I’m easy.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.”

“Okay,” Tony interrupted, coming back into view. “Get the hell outta here. You wanna bang, do it indoors somewhere, or I’ll have to arrest you for public indecency or worse. And Milkovich… if I find any evidence of what I’m sure you know I’m talking about, I’ll be paying your ass a visit real soon.”

Mickey let the eyeroll loose then, withholding a flip of his middle finger, and deadpanning instead, “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, officer.”

Tony sighed loudly. “Whatever.”

“Thanks, Tony!” Ian cried at his retreating back.

“You always kiss cop ass like that? Cuz that’s not the way to get into my pants, Red.”

Ian just grinned, finally pulling his body away as he looked around. “You gonna follow me home or what?”

Mickey wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and swagger away like a badass. But was he not a thirsty man being propositioned by a hot guy who just randomly saved his ass from a trip to the slammer?

He at least feigned protest, huffing and puffing as he kicked at the dirt. “Goddamn it, Gallagher, you drive a hard bargain.”

Ian’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, as Mickey added, “Lead the way, weirdo.”

[hazbincalifornia]

Revelations

Chapter 21: Stolas and Blitzo have a talk. Two of them, in fact.

Warnings: Mpreg

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Ao3 link

“I wonder if I’d be unlucky enough for it to be twins.” Blitzo’s fingers traced over the dome of his stomach as Stolas’s head twisted to the side. They were taking another break- the weird heat had broken with a body full of sore muscles to show for it, and it was nice to have a moment to relax. Stolas had offered some kind of smoothie made from one of his plants that had helped soothe the aches some and bring his energy back up after another nap. For now, though, resting against Stolas’s side was a good enough way to catch a few extra breaths- he’d leave later in the afternoon. Probably. It was comfortable, here, and it was much harder to peel himself off the sheets than it should have been. (To be fair, he was pretty sure he'd impaled one of the pillows with his spikes, which helped with that.)

“Hmm? I’d be able to sense that- there’s only you and the one little one in there.”

“Yeah, well, you said you couldn’t knock me up either. Your judgement’s not great,” Blitzo said, leaning back to stare at the dark, velvety top of the canopy. Fancy-ass bed. It was comfy, at least- and helped where he might have popped something in his hips.

Stolas gave a little chuckle. “That was a mistake on my part, and we’re both thinking clearly now, aren’t we?” He tiptoed his slender fingers over Blitzo’s belly. “More than we’ve been for the past few days, at least. It’s just the one, I’m afraid... although twins would be nice.”

“Yeah, no.” Blitzo scoffed. “They’d hold hands and laugh and frolic before life tears ‘em apart like it does to everybody. Happy shiny faces getting dragged down to the dirt because somebody's always gotta beat somebody else, and then it’s gonna suck shit for both of them because they used to be happy and know what it was like. Only one kid’s better, that way they don’t have somethin’ to lose right from the get-go. They'll have u- you, that's enough.” He paused. “Plus, I’m not squeezing two little bastards out, I want to be able to reuse my man-cave all nice and tight again sometime this millennium.”

Stolas blinked all four eyes, index fingertip pressed down just above Blitzo’s bellybutton. “Something you’d like to tell me, Blitzy darling?”

Blitzo looked down at him before slumping his head back, tail idly curling around the owl’s arm just to feel something soft.

“Nah, just musing.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Stolas pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to go check on Via, then we’ll see about one more round before you have to go back to reality.”

Blitzo sank back down into oblivion as Stolas’s weight left the bed, and he rubbed his stomach as he heard the door click shut. “You’re gonna have him, at least, and you’ll grow up in a mansion. Lucky little bastard. You’re gonna have to annoy him for me so he knows what you were like in my guts, got it, squirt?”

In response, junior nudged against his palm, and he hummed a little, snuggling down into the warmth of how their smells mixed together in the blankets.

_____________

Blitzo had tugged on one of Stolas’s shirts, having given up on finding his mesh one again- Stolas would probably unearth it inside a pillowcase in a week or something. The lopsided Loo-Loo Land apple was stretched out just slightly by his stomach, but the fabric going to just past his knees made it more like a dress than a top. Whatever, he looked damn good in dresses, and right now it smelled like Stolas and sex and had a cozy warmth and he liked that.

“So, what’re you going to do with them once they’re out?” Blitzo asked, idly rubbing his stomach at a nudge from the inside. Stolas clicked his tongue.

“Well, first, I’ll need to get things for the nursery. Some of it will be fine either way, like a crib and some basic clothes, but some will be better for imps and some for owls, we’ll see how they come out. Via tore through plenty of toys when she was little, her beak was razor-sharp right from birth!”

Blitzo grinned. “Oooh, are you going to use one of the guest rooms?” He stepped out into the room and waved a hand, fingers spread apart over his head as he painted a picture in his mind. “With a big starry mobile or something, that’d look nice.”

Stolas shook his head. “Oh, no no no. They’re going to your apartment. You’ll be the one housing them.”

"Ah, right- wait." It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, and his fingers froze in midair, twitching before dropping \like dead birds. “You want me to what?”

“To house them?" A pause “Wait, you didn’t realize-” Stolas blinked, clicking his tongue. “Oh, poor Blitzy.” Blitzo barely noticed the brief dip into the baby-talk voice because the floor seemed to be melting underneath him, along with his legs. “I assumed it was obvious. You’ve seen first-hand the fact that there’s people after me who would use them as bait. I can’t exactly keep them in a cage in the basement, and goodness, I wouldn’t want to, they’re a child! They’d be interrogated relentlessly because of their half-imp blood, not to mention I don’t doubt that my wife might invite some sort of…” He cleared his throat. “Accident. It’s for their own safety.”

Blood bubbled thick and sticky in Blitzo’s cheeks. “Are you kidding me? That wasn’t what I signed up for! Six months, that was it!” He took a step back, but as his tail nervously flicked in the air and smacked something, he realized that he was about to hit the wall. Stolas was a towering force as the prince crossed the distance between them again with a single smooth motion.

“You signed up for this ‘as long as I agreed to help.’ I’ll give you as much monetary assistance as I can, of course, and I do plan to help in-person as often as possible, I care for both of you and this was-“

“That’s still- I can’t handle a fucking baby! Loona was seventeen when I adopted her!”

“You’re smart, Blitzy.” Stolas’s fingers cupped Blitzo’s chin and tilted it upwards. He’d never felt smaller, Stolas’s frame nearly blocking out the overhead light from this angle. “You care about your hellhound and your little employees plenty. I know you, you'll figure it out. Come now, I don’t intend to leave you to flounder, we both wanted this-”

“So you’re just making me do all the hard parts? Fuck you!” Blitzo’s chest was pumping like billows as he was caught on the edge of hyperventilation. “This is- this is just-”

“This is what you agreed to,” Stolas said, quietly but firmly. “You love your daughter as much as I love mine- when you’re less hormonal, you’ll agree with me. I’ll still do my part, and you’ll do yours, my little imp. It’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll be there for them, but it's not my fault you never asked what would happen.” The hand against his face warmed, and when Blitzo’s eyes flickered down, both it and his stomach were glowing.

"You were the one all gung-ho about it, I just figured you wanted to deal with that shit." He swallowed as the pieces snapped into place, and wished desperately he’d brought some kind of weapon to smash directly in Stolas’s fucking face with that concerned little fucking smile like everything was perfectly fine and dandy and not falling to bloody, future-destroying pieces.

There was always a catch. 

“I can’t get rid of it now.”

“I cast a protection spell when you made the deal,” Stolas said, crouching down and still somehow being slightly taller as his gaze dragged Blitzo all the way to the bottom of the Rings. “To be sure you wouldn’t go back on your word. They’re safer that way- both of you are.”

Blitzo scooted sideways and shoved Stolas’s hand away, the glow fading as he did. “I need to go.”

“What’s the hurry? I thought we were having a good time. I know this must be surprising, but it's an honor for-”

“Something at work. Urgent. Just remembered. They need me.” His tail curled up and around his belly and squeezed, the point digging into the side. “The heat’s gone, we’re done here.”

“Don’t do anything irrational, darling,” Stolas said, straightening up just as there was a pounding on the door. “Who is it?”

“Me, sir.” It took Blitzo a few seconds to clock the voice as the butler’s. It had been eons since he’d last heard it.

“What’s so important? I’m in the middle of something.” Stolas’s tone dipped to irritation as the butler pushed the door open.

“It’s your wife, your highness. She returned home early.”

[artificialqueens]

Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 2 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: thank u for being so lovely to me about this rewrite! this chapter was tricky to rework but i solved it in the end wOO! as always love will always be appreciated so if it’s ur first time reading (or even if it’s not!) feel free to shoot some my way!! here we go with chapter 2 of strictly au 2: electric boogaloo (yes i will be making that joke every time i resubmit a new chapter xo)

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

26th September 2020

Vanessa checks herself out in one of the full-length mirrors, her outfit a blur of red sequins and fringing and the flecks of glitter she’s spread across her collarbones and shoulders popping under the lights of the dressing room. She blinks slowly and carefully once, twice, then gives a little flutter of her immaculately-applied fake eyelashes.

“Makeup did a great job tonight,” she smiles appreciatively at herself. Akeria appears from behind her, squeezes her in a hug.

“Mm. Although I guess it helps when they get a canvas like mine to paint on,” she flutters her own falsies whilst framing her face with her hands, and Vanessa bats her away playfully. Suddenly they are nudged out of the way by Aja.

“Do you clowns mind? Some of us have to actually use these mirrors.”

“Yeah, let Aja in. She needs all the help she can get,” Shea calls from across the room, the girls giving a laugh and Aja giving a faux-wounded cry and dashing back across the room to whack Shea. Vanessa has missed this- the dressing room camaraderie, the gossiping and the occasional catfight. She’d marked out her territory in the long, white-and-metal room a few years ago when she’d befriended Akeria and Monique, and the three girls sit at the same three white vanity tables in the same three only-slightly-uncomfortable tan-stained white chairs, with their crushed water bottles and makeup bits and bobs and packets of dried fruit snacks scattered over the area like a bomb has gone off. The blast of hairdryers, hisses of hairspray cans, excited chatter and the playlist the dancers have all cultivated together combine to create one chaotic, noisy sound that Vanessa thinks is a little bit magical. It’s even more magical, more exciting and thrilling, now that she’s actually going to be partnered up with someone and have a proper Strictly journey.

“What’re y’all gonna teach as your first dance?” Monique asks, already touching up her eyeliner despite the fact she doesn’t need to.

“Hmph. Depends who I get,” Vanessa shrugs, a little thrum in her heart. “I wanna get some ballroom out of the way first though. Then it’s one less to choreograph.”

Monique hums in agreement. She knows Vanessa has limited ballroom experience, having competed almost exclusively in Latin competitions. Vanessa looks over at Jan and Jaida who are chatting excitedly with Plastique. They all knew each other from the ballroom circuit before they started on the show and Vanessa knows she’ll never be one of those dancers that exudes grace and poise, little paper dolls that float across the floor practically on tiptoe. Then again, those girls will never be a dancer like she is, all hips and curves, sass and fiery passion and playfulness. Well. Jaida probably could if she wanted to, but Vanessa remembers when the pros all did the Cell Block Tango number last year and Jaida kept getting the giggles at the sexiest parts and setting all the other girls off laughing. For one of the most attractive girls on the circuit, she balances it out with being a bit of a dork.    

“You sure you don’t wanna lead with your strong suit? Arrive with a bang, that sorta thing,” Akeria muses, and Vanessa shakes her head.

“It’s a long game, girl, you can’t peak too early.”

“Well my plan is to peak on the first night and then plateau. Tens across the board right through to the final,” Monique pipes up, touching her lashes and pulling a face at the mirror. Vanessa and Akeria share a long-suffering look and roll their eyes.

“Of course,” Akeria indulges her. “I’ll maybe do a Cha Cha Cha or somethin’.”

“Hey! I was gonna do a Cha Cha Cha!” Monique cries, appalled. Vanessa bursts out laughing.

“Bitch! There’s only about four dances you can pick from at the start anyway, if you wanted to be the only one doin’ it then lower your expectations,” she laughs at her friend. Monique narrows her eyes, turns around in her chair and calls on Crystal, hairspraying her long, dark wavy ponytail in place at her own vanity table. “Crys! What’re you doing for the first dance?”

Crystal turns around excitedly, looks to the ceiling in thought. “Oooh…some sort of samba, maybe? Start out difficult.”

Monique pouts, halfway to satisfied. “You heard what any of the other girls are doing?”

“Jaida’s undecided. Aja keeps talking about this vision she’s got for this rhumba to Chan Chan…oh! Jan’s doing a Cha Cha Cha.”

Vanessa stifles a laugh as Monique gives a wounded groan. “Damn it, Jan!”

Crystal laughs, shakes her ponytail out and shrugs. “To be fair, I think Jan’s planned out all her dances until she gets to the final. Nobody’s thought to tell her she might not get that far.”

“Hey! Heard that, asshole,” shouts Jan, a few tables down.

“Love you!” Crystal calls back, her voice typically high and sweet and ensuring nobody can ever get mad at her.

Talk turns to partners. It turns out Crystal’s got her eye on Jackie or Gigi, and Vanessa swears she can see a bit more blush appear on her cheeks when she tells her that Gigi was gunning for her as well. As some of the other girls who’re finished getting ready around them join in, Vanessa sneaks a look at her phone and idly scrolls to Instagram to find a certain comment that’s been running through her mind for the past month. A photo of her in the studio, it’s not even that cute; she’s got her old dance school hoodie on and a pair of black Primark leggings paired with her obnoxiously bright blue trainers, and she’s sitting on the floor fresh from her warmup holding her phone up to the mirror. Vanessa scrolls down, feels her heart give a little excited jump when she reaches the comment she was looking for.

bhytes:  😍😍😍

It’s dumb and embarrassing how much she’s scrolled Brooke Lynn’s profile since the girl followed her all those weeks ago. Vanessa had felt something inside her burst when she’d first seen the notification, and she still tries to tell herself she wasn’t disappointed when she saw that Brooke had followed most of the other pros too. Vanessa is only hung up on the girl because she’d be such a good partner. It’s not like they really flirted when they met, anyway- Brooke had just been joking around, and Vanessa had followed suit. Some jokes between two girls that had just met and had hit it off with each other stupidly well. It wasn’t anything more than that. Vanessa can’t take her eye off the ball this season; she’s in it to win, just like all the other girls. Being benched for two years has struck a determination in her that she’s not ready to let die. She remembers how confident Brooke was, how easily the moves came to her, how she dipped Vanessa safely and carefully but with such skill and how close they were pressed together when Vanessa came back up-

Alright, bitch. That’s enough of that.

Akeria yelling her name makes Vanessa jerk her head up from her screen, the other girls laughing at the surprise on her face.

“What are you even doing, Jesus,” Akeria mutters, grabbing her phone out of her hand. Vanessa gives a little squeak of outrage, trying not to blush as a shit-eating grin spreads across her friend’s face as she looks at Vanessa’s phone and the other dancers ask what she’s seen.

“Well, let’s just say we know who Vanjie wants to be partnered with,” Akeria smirks, the other girls descending into excited squawks as Vanessa clamours for her phone back and Akeria relents.

“Don’t make it weird, bitch, God,” Vanessa murmurs, trying not to be stung with embarrassment. Crystal pulls a sympathetic face, reaches out to place a comforting hand on Vanessa’s arm.

“Aw, Vanjie! It’s normal to get a lil’ crush on one of the celebrities, they’re all so beautiful and airbrushed.”

“Is it, though? Or are you just hung up on a certain model that you’ve not been able to stop mentioning every five minutes since you danced with her?” Jan quirks an eyebrow, the girls all laughing and screaming again. Vanessa thinks about bringing up Jan’s obvious infatuation with Jackie but then decides against it, remembering that her Mom always tells her people in glass homes shouldn’t throw rocks. Or whatever the saying was. Even though they moved here when Vanessa was two and she probably should be used to them by now she still hates figures of speech with a passion.

“Okay I don’t mind admitting it- whoever gets Asia O’Hara, you’re a lucky son of a bitch,” Akeria throws her hands up, and Monique rolls her eyes so hard that Vanessa momentarily worries for her vision.

“My God, Keeks! Mention it one more time, maybe there’s somebody livin’ in a fuckin’…croft in the Scottish Highlands that ain’t still aware you wanna climb Miss Asia like a tree.”

Vanessa bursts out laughing, joining the other girls. Shea whips her head around from her own mirror, her high, sleek ponytail tossing itself over her shoulder as she fixes them all with an unimpressed glare. “Oh my God, will you all stop being so horny on main for like, two goddamn minutes? Jeez. When was the last time y’all got laid, two thousand and fuckin’ ten?”

Aja laughs in outrage as she points an accusatory finger Shea’s way. “Hey, not all of us could marry a contestant, okay? Let these girls get laid already!”

As the girls all hoot and Shea looks ready to fire a playful comeback at her, one of the runners comes into the dressing room and shouts up a five minute warning. The dancers all explode with excited squeals and they all rush back to their dressing tables to do a last touch up of their makeup and strap themselves into their dance shoes. Vanessa feels her heart thrumming so loud and heavy in her chest that she regrets the Red Bull she’d sank earlier, her nerves suddenly consuming her. She walks into the corridor where some of the other girls are waiting, digs her feet into the soles of her shoes and takes two big deep, calming breaths like her first ever dance teacher taught her to do when the butterflies got all too much. They’re not getting their partners straight away- they’ve got the group dance to complete first, but after that they’ll be changing into uniform little white sparkly dresses and standing on the raised steps beside the dancefloor, ready for the celebrities to come out one by one. The very thought of seeing Brooke Lynn again, in person and all fake-tanned with a full face of makeup, is making Vanessa’s hands shake a little.

“Hey,” Courtney smiles at her, coming out to stand behind her in the corridor. “Good luck. You’ll be amazing.”

“Thanks, girl,” Vanessa smiles. Courtney is the Mom of the dancers, always looking out for the other girls and keeping the peace. Vanessa is appreciative of her calm presence just now.

“How’re you feeling?” Courtney asks, a little frown of concern on her face. She rolls her eyes at herself quickly as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “God. Sorry. Silly question.”

“I’m nervous as shit right now, I ain’t gon’ lie.”

Courtney smiles, takes her hand and squeezes it. “You’ll be fine. I’d be worried if you weren’t nervous to be honest. I still remember my first show. Just remember the dancing is the easy bit. It’s what you know. You’ve done it for two seasons already anyway, all that’s changed is that you get a partner! And that’s the best bit!”

Vanessa swallows, takes another deep breath. She looks at Courtney again. “You know before you get partnered? You ever get your hopes up for one particular celebrity?”

“God, obviously. It’s like when teachers say they don’t have favourites, but you know they do. Why?” Courtney gives her a wink which makes her blush out of embarrassment. “You got your eye on anyone specific?”

“Nah. It’s my first season competing, I’ll be happy with anyone! Can’t get too choosy.”

Courtney cocks a disbelieving eyebrow at her. “Hmm. You’re a bad liar, Vanjie, but I’ll leave you alone. Have fun out there! Break a leg.”

Vanessa’s stomach gives a dip as she throws Courtney a supportive smile and turns around in the line. Monique reaches back, squeezes her hand and whispers a good luck to her, and before she can get a chance to compose herself they’re all off snaking their way in single file through yellow strobe-lit corridors, then through a dark maze of black curtains and cables and electrical tape, and finally out into the muffled excitement of the audience and the hot glow of the stage lights from the rigging overhead. As the producers and runners dash about like panicked mice, Vanessa takes another shuddery deep breath and takes her place beside Vixen, thanking God the show isn’t live but also knowing they’re about to do the dance in one whole take. She’s done this before, it’s not new. She can do this. It’s what she loves.

“Right, ladies and gentlemen! Are we ready to make history? First same-sex series of Strictly Come Dancing?” a producer yells out, the audience whooping and cheering and stamping their feet. “And five…four…three…two…one…”  

The lights go up, the smile is plastered onto Vanessa’s face, and when she starts to dance everything she has been worrying about melts away. It sounds cheesy, Vanessa knows it, but when she dances her mind literally cannot think about a single thing other than the music and the rhythm and the moves unfolding as if she’s telling a story. Vanessa remembers days spent on the couch with her Mom and a bowl of popcorn watching Billy Elliot, Dance With Me, Dirty Dancing (even though that one was a 12 and Vanessa’s Mom always told her not to tell her Abuela she was allowing her to watch it) and falling in love with dancing. As the pros finish off their dance to rapturous applause, Vanessa wonders what eight-year-old her would make of it all. She’s on the biggest dancing show on UK TV and she’s about to actually compete in it. Jesus.

Backstage, Vanessa’s hands are shaking so much that they fumble with the zip at the back of her costume change. She is a bundle of nerves now that the dance is done- that’s the only part about tonight she can control, and it’s over. Shea sees her struggling, bats Vanessa’s hands out of the way firmly and hoists the zip up her spine. Vanessa feels like a six year old who’s just had to ask their teacher to help them get dressed after a P.E. lesson.

“Thanks,” she mutters, Shea giving her a tight smile in return.

“Stop worrying. You’ll just get yourself in a flap. What’re you scared of?” Shea asks her, her stern voice turning soft at the end of her sentence. Shea doesn’t have a lot of time for nonsense, but the time she does have is precious, so Vanessa sighs.

“I’m just…God, I don’t even know. Worried I get a dud on my first year, I guess. I want to showcase myself just as much as I want to showcase my teaching abilities, if that makes sense,” she shrugs, looking in the mirror and making sure none of her dark brown baby hairs are breaking free from their hairspray prison.

“If I can give you any advice for your first year, I’ll say this,” Shea continues, checking her own reflection out until a runner shoos them back into line with the other girls. “Don’t take it too serious. Establish yourself, yeah, but it’s more about having fun with whoever you’re partnered with. When I let go and did that I ended up winning. Now, shit, don’t tell anyone I’m giving you advice.”

Vanessa tries not to focus on the fact Shea has just mentioned winning. The thought makes her heart give a thud she’s convinced could land her in hospital. She thanks Shea, gives her a squeeze on her shoulder before the girls are led out onto the stage again. Vanessa is positioned on one of the upper levels in between Akeria and Jan. They give each other a smile of encouragement, and Vanessa reaches over to take Akeria’s hand.

“I hope you get who you want, Keeks,” she whispers, as the producers look ready to begin. Akeria squeezes her hand as a thank you and drops it just as the lights go up. Vanessa feels her stomach churn as she looks down. There’s Michelle, contestant-turned-presenter ready to look into the camera and start reading from the autocue, and she’s beside the table of four judges. Vanessa hasn’t had many dealings with the judges before- she hasn’t had to, but the four friendly-ish faces she’s only so much as smiled at backstage now seem so scary to her.

“Ready to go in three,” a producer calls out, and a hush falls over the audience. Vanessa feels herself wobble in her shoes, wonders if she’d get fired if she fainted on the first take. Before she can think too much about it, the lights flood the stage and Michelle is announcing the first celebrity to be partnered- Heidi Cheek, or, to her listeners, Heidi Nina Closet. She’s dressed in a black sparkly dress which contrasts those of the dancers, and Vanessa realises the costume designers’ vision straight away. Vanessa remembers Heidi- she’d been one of the girls she’d danced with after Brooke, and she was sweet and funny and approached learning with a cheerful sense of enthusiasm, even if it had taken her a couple of tries to get the moves right. Michelle asks her how she’s feeling.

“Excited! It’s so different to doin’ my radio show, you know? I’m not used to bein’ on camera. They didn’t tell me I’d be goin’ through makeup at all. Everyone wore their joggers and gym clothes in rehearsals so I just thought we’d all be wearin’ the same things,” Heidi begins, the audience laughing already. “Also these heels! I barely even wear shoes at work, Lord. I can’t walk in these so how I’ll dance in them I’ll never know. Least I don’t need to fake tan like some of these other girls. That whole dressin’ room smells like a pack of biscuits.”

As the audience give another laugh, Vanessa can feel her heart hammer frantically as Michelle turns to Heidi. “Okay, Heidi. This…is…it.”

The lights go down, and Vanessa wants nothing more than to squeeze her eyes shut but she knows the cameras will be giving close-ups and so she stands, poised and ready, practising her not-looking-disappointed face in case she gets partnered with her.

“Your Strictly Come Dancing 2020 pro is…”

Breathe, don’t forget to breathe. Don’t close your eyes. Stop clenching your fists.

“Antonia ‘Vixen’ Taylor!”

Vanessa lets out a massive sigh of relief, her smile huge and genuine as she claps for the newly paired couple. Vixen races across the stage and lets out an excited squeal, Heidi crushing her in a tight hug. Both girls are clearly happy about who they’ve been partnered up with. They give a short post-pairing interview where they both squeal about how enthused and excited they are and Michelle sends them up to the auditorium. Vanessa claps them again then lets out another sigh. One couple down, eleven to go.

Michelle, a seasoned professional, copes well with the stop-start way that pre-recorded TV is usually filmed. Vanessa, however, stands and frets and wobbles in her heels through the next five pairings. Blair St Clair is paired up with Courtney next, and both girls are content with their partner. Blair just seems happy she’s got somebody who won’t eat her for breakfast if she makes a mistake.

“I’m so happy I got paired up with a winner!” she beams in her interview, her arm linked with Courtney’s. “And we had so much fun on the induction day, she put up with me so well. Even though she had to re-teach me the steps about twelve times.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! It wasn’t twelve!” Courtney soothes, then gives Michelle a cheeky smile. “More like ten.”

A clearly satisfied Peppermint is given to an equally happy Shea and, to her obvious delight, Akeria is paired with Asia. Jan gives an over-the-top display of sheer unadulterated celebration when she’s paired with Jackie and almost gives Vanessa tinnitus with the amount she screeches, and Vanessa finds herself beaming with joy when Gigi is paired with Crystal, both girls behaving like Care Bears when they reach each other, all soft cuddles and squeezing hands.

Michelle takes a quick drink of water, announces some special guest singer that nobody cares about to perform at the halfway point. The girls who’re waiting to be partnered are called off the stage and the fiftysomething country singer last relevant in 2006 begins setting up. Vanessa scans her eyes over the pros that are left. There’s her, Monique, Plastique, Aja, Phi Phi and Jaida.

“Who’s still not been partnered up?” Phi Phi hisses urgently, her face determined as she addresses the other girls.

“Yvie Oddly hasn’t got anyone yet,” Plastique mentions calmly. “Or the Love Island girl.”

“Farrah,” Aja corrects her, then pulls a face. “Scarlet Envy’s not got anyone yet either.”

“Has Brooke Lynn been given anyone?” Vanessa asks rhetorically, as if she hasn’t been waiting with every embryo she possesses for the girl to come out onto the stage.

“No,” Jaida shakes her head, oblivious to the fact Vanessa already knows the answer. “And there’s Monet and Willam. So there’s three…maybe four girls still left that we can win with.”

“Hey, Scarlet has potential,” Monique shrugs kindly. Plastique snorts.

“Potential to what? Earn the lowest scores ever recorded?”

Phi Phi covers her hand with her mouth as she giggles, and Vanessa frowns at them both.

“Nobody’s winning with Willam either. The woman’s treating the whole thing as a huge joke,” Phi Phi continues.

Vanessa can’t help but send a barb her way. “I don’t know, girl, she seemed pretty clued-up when she was with me. But I guess a bad teacher always blames her students.”

Plastique and Jaida let out a squeal which they muffle behind their hands. Monique grabs Vanessa for support as she splutters a laugh, and Phi Phi scowls at her. “Well I’m not the one that was-”

“Would y’all just shut the fuck up for, like, two minutes?” Aja hisses, lowering the rapidly escalating volume of the conversation. “Unless we wanna be picked up by the mic and get round two of the half-decaying Darius Rucker impersonator that’s out there.”

Aja is friendly and funny but she’s scary when she wants to be, so the girls take a telling and fall silent as the song is finished. It’s not long until they’re led back out onto stage and are assembled onto the same podium as last time, and the cameras are rolling again. Next out is Willam. It says a lot that the stage makeup manages to tone her down, the gentle grey smoke across her eyelids a far cry from the riot of glitter that had been scattered over them on induction day. Michelle begins the interview.

“Now, Willam, you starred in Brittania High a few years ago, that was a bit dance-y - do you think that’ll come in handy during your Strictly journey?” Michelle is asking her. Willam brushes a stray hair out of her face and shrugs.

“I mean, I didn’t do too much of the dancing? I was a leading lady so I got most of the ballads. And most of the lines. More a main character than a backing dancer, really. No shade to any of my ex castmates, of course. Except Detox. Rotted bitch.”

“CUT!”

Vanessa bites her lip hard to try to stop a laugh coming out. Willam looks amused, if a little perturbed. “Is that not allowed? It was just a joke, she knows I love her really. Family show? Oh, okay.”

Vanessa can’t help it and lets out a laugh along with some of the audience. Phi Phi’s face doesn’t move.

“Okay Willam, time to see who your partner will be.”

The lights go down again. Even though it’s now the seventh time this has happened, Vanessa still feels as if she’s surviving a near-death experience every time someone new is paired up. It would be good to be paired with Willam. She’d be fun. She’s got potential. She’d work hard. She wouldn’t be disappointed at all.

“…It’s Phi Phi O’Hara!”

Oh, fuck. Vanessa sucks her lips into her mouth, tries not to laugh as the fake smile takes hold on Phi Phi’s face like a mask as she runs over to Willam, gives her a polite hug. She is raging. Serves her right for being mean.

“Willam Belli! What an enormous…” Phi Phi tails off, gesturing at the woman beside her as she searches for the right word. “…pleasure…it is to be paired up with her!”

Vanessa catches eyes with Monique, almost splutters a laugh. Phi Phi’s delivering everything through gritted teeth. Willam is smiling beside her, although her gaze keeps darting up to someone in the auditorium. Vanessa wonders if there’s someone she would rather have been partnered with.

Phi Phi is led off smiling demonically, and then Yvie appears by Michelle’s side to be paired up next. She is given to Jaida, and both girls seem happy with their pairing. Next out is Farrah. Vanessa’s heart lifts. She didn’t get paired up with Farrah at all on induction day- they’re both too small to be each others’ partners and so far there’s been at least a little bit of a height difference to each pairing. Still, though…Vanessa can’t get too complacent. She puts her hands behind her back and crosses her fingers and hopes she won’t get chosen, feeling like she’s on her first day at Hogwarts and Michelle is holding the sorting hat.

“…Aja Rivera!”

Vanessa is almost sick with relief, but as Michelle interviews the new partners she can’t help but feel almost a little dizzy with nerves. There are only three celebrities left: Scarlet, Monet and, of course, Brooke Lynn. The producers stop filming and arrange Vanessa, Plastique and Monique on the same level so as they’re not too scattered across the stage.

“You look like you’re about to throw up. Or faint. Or maybe die,” Monique whispers to her, concerned. Plastique rolls her eyes.

“Leave her alone, Mo, it’s her first partner,” she chastises her. Vanessa is grateful for the sympathy and doesn’t acknowledge how right Monique is. She does feel as if she’s about to do all three of those things, possibly all at the same time. Just as she thinks things can’t get any more nervewracking, the lights go up, Michelle announces the next celebrity, and Brooke Lynn appears.

Vanessa feels as if all the air has been sucked out of the room. Brooke’s hair is tousled and swept over one shoulder, the black smoke of eyeshadow the makeup department blended onto her eyelids makes the green of her eyes pop, and the character heels and the fringing on her black sparkly dress means that Vanessa’s eyes can’t help but be drawn to her legs. This is the girl she’s been waiting for. If she gets Brooke, she knows she can go far, she knows she can do a lot. She hardly hears a word Brooke says in her interview, all Vanessa is doing is repeating prayer after prayer- she’s not even that religious but her Mom, Tia and Abuela combined have probably said enough Hail Marys on her behalf to garner her a decent amount of favour with whoever’s up there, so she gives it a go.

“Okay, Brooke, let’s see who is going to be partnered with you for your Strictly journey.”

The lights go down. Vanessa swears her heart stops beating. She casts her eyes to the ceiling, not daring to meet Brooke’s. Her palms are way too sweaty to be normal. She clasps them together but they’re still shaking like crazy. The room is silent save from the single drum beat that’s serving to build tension. It’s doing its job too well, Vanessa thinks. She swears this pause is longer than all the others put together. She can hear the catch in Michelle’s throat as she’s about to speak, her heart soaring high with anticipation.

“It’s-”

“Cut!”

There’s a groan from the audience. Vanessa is going to faint right here, right now, filming be damned.

“Sorry, we’ve got a problem with the lights, it’s hitting Plastique’s face all weird. Can we sort that?…Okay. Thanks.”

Vanessa is no longer nervous. She’s now just impatient. As she taps her foot frustratedly and sweeps a glance over the room, she’s determined not to look at Brooke. She wonders if she’s looking at her already. Unable to help herself, she sneaks a look and instantly meets Brooke’s eyes with her own. Her heart leaps as if someone’s just turned the key in its ignition. Brooke unsuccessfully stifles a smile, sends her a wink as if they’re the only two people in the room. Vanessa waggles her fingers in a wave, then snaps her gaze away as the producer silences the audience again. Michelle repeats her line, the lights go down again, and Vanessa’s not scared this time. She’s thinking it into existence. She knows it’s going to be her. Michelle just has to say it.

“…it’s Vanessa Mateo!”

Vanessa screams. She knows her face must be an absolute picture as she sinks to the ground in shock, gripping her face with both her hands. She can hear Monique and Plastique laughing and clapping above her, and she can barely walk in a straight line as she rises back up and dashes across to hug Brooke. Brooke’s smile is almost splitting her face, and she breaks away from Michelle and runs towards her, picking her up and twirling her round in a tight hug that Vanessa never wants to break free from. She’s done it. She and Brooke are partners. She gets to work with her for as long as they’re in the competition together. Maybe Vanessa will start going to mass after all.

“Oh my God,” Vanessa eventually says, as Brooke carries her in the hug for as long as she can manage then deposits her down beside Michelle who is laughing so hard Vanessa wonders if they’ll have to do another take. They do not. Instead, Brooke drapes an arm around Vanessa’s shoulder and pulls her close. Without knowing what possesses her, Vanessa takes her hand. She looks up at Brooke who’s looking down at her and they laugh together, sharing a ridiculously huge smile.

“Sorry. That was too much,” Brooke says apologetically. The audience laughs along with Vanessa.

“Uh, Vanessa,” Michelle starts, laughing a little through her question. “It’s your first year with a partner, I probably- well I don’t- need an answer, but I have to ask…how do you feel about being partnered with Brooke?”

“Listen,” Vanessa composes herself. She’s out of breath and her voice is hoarse from screeching, but she’s getting this out. “If you knew what this girl can do, you’d be screamin’ like a banshee too, Michelle. She’s so talented, I know she’s gonna be incredible…God, I can’t wait to win this whole thing with her.”

Everyone laughs again, but Vanessa’s only looking at Brooke. The girl’s eyes crinkle up when she smiles, and it only makes her look ten times more beautiful than she already is. Not that that’s weird. Just an observation.

“Brooke, how do you feel?”

Brooke looks back down at Vanessa, still smiling. “No, I’m the exact same. I know we kind of look like a bar chart together, but we just work. I knew I wanted to be her partner since induction day.”

Vanessa gives a happy sigh. She wants to wrap both her arms around Brooke and to not let go. Part of her feels like she’s lifting the glitterball already. Brooke is a trophy and Vanessa feels like a winner.

“Well, congratulations to the pair of you. One last time, give it up for Vanessa and Brooke Lynn!”

Vanessa drops her hand down and Brooke catches it in hers, the pair of them running past the audience and upstairs to the auditorium where the other girls are ready with excited squeals and hugs for them both. Vanessa accepts them all gladly, and when she is finally released she is positioned at the bannister beside her new dance partner. She turns to her and smiles, Brooke easily returning it, and Vanessa is suddenly bashful.

“Hey,” Brooke smiles at her cheekily.

“Hey,” Vanessa grins, looking to the floor awkwardly. “Sorry. If I freaked you out. Guess my reaction was kinda too much.”

“Girl, did you see me? I was spinning you round like a fucking windmill. If anyone should be apologising it should be me.”

They both laugh softly. Vanessa shrugs a little. “Least we know we’ll be good at lifts.”

Brooke raises her eyebrows and concedes, and Vanessa tries not to get too excited about the fact she can say the word we. They fall quiet as the producers call for hush and Scarlet is led out. As Vanessa listens to Scarlet’s interview, she can feel Brooke’s eyes on her and she turns to face her, unable to stop the smile creeping back onto her face. Brooke looks caught out for a second before she leans in close to Vanessa to whisper to her.

“I meant it, you know. I’m so happy I got you. I wasn’t just saying it for the cameras.”

Vanessa gives a happy sigh, places her hand over Brooke’s that’s clinging to the bannister. “Me too, girl. This is where it all begins. Let’s win this damn thing.”

They don’t let go of each others’ hands until the final pairing is announced.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

your parents seem very cool! also i totally think u should get a mullet but i am a 100% biased because i'm just generally fascinated by them. i'd get one myself but i'm pretty sure it would look twice as horrible as when i dyed my hair pink and that was a Disaster. (yes with the capital D. i decided to stick to either blue or red after that but i'm also thinking about trying green! so we could def match and go steal ribcages together)

and i get the social interaction thing - the only people i've interacted with for the past two months are my family and my friend with whom i text. i honestly never thought that i - a super introvert - would miss social interactions, but here we are

they definitely are with some things! 

haha they’re kind of a big thing right now i suppose, or at least my uni magazine likes doing a mullet of the week page each week they release one so they must have s o m e popularity, they keep managing to find new people. i’m not sure though, i’m not sure if i’d vibe with it. still, it’s always in the back of my mind for whenever i next feel chaotic i suppose. i did mention it to my dad once and he was like god, please don’t get a mullet. and i was confused because normally he doesn’t care what i do with my hair. but then he was like i used to have an asshole of a manager and the thing i remember most about him was his mullet so. sdfljkhsdfkjhsdf reminder to self: mullets bring back bad memories for dad lmao.

ooo i’ve never done red! i never really tried red because i don’t think warm colours suit me as much and also i perpetually have acne and red really brings the acne out in my experience sdjfhsdkf. when I got the pink done it was only streaks in my hair bc the hairdresser kind of convinced me that’d be better than doing the whole top part of my hair (it was the first time i dyed my hair and i figured they knew best. now i would’ve just been like no, full head, thanks! max chaotic), i feel like fully pink is a lot harder to pull off but also could be rad. 

ooo that’d be awesome! i’m so down. i’m not sure if they give robbers names like they do serial killers but i’d like a cool green-themed name for us if so. like the chlorophyll thieves except cooler. isn’t that some kind of trick too? like thieves will wear a weird hat or something and you’ll pay attention to that more than their face so you can’t really describe them accurately to the police later,,, maybe that was just buzzfeed unsolved. could be helpful nevertheless. 

once uni stops for the year i’m like wow. uni was the source for all my social interaction. now what do i do. like i handed in my last assessment i think on the 3rd of november and my classes finished a couple weeks before that and i moved out of my uni accommodation on the 7th of november so no more flatmates and i just haven’t talked to anyone since. that’s a lie i’ve had some text conversations but wow my social interaction dropped sdkfhjskdf. there’s probably a couple people i know that would go grab lunch with me or somethin but i,,,,,,,,,,, social isolation is kinda tasty sometimes. CAN i go see people in my country? absolutely, all is well. DO i? no. also i’m sick right now so therefore i’m not going anywhere, that’s definitely an excuse but it’s a GOOD one.

[jksofficialwifey]

Jungkook halloween oneshot drabble; where u decided to have fun in his room, someone gets murdered on his floor, and u both get questioned. theres a lottle smut beware owo, also ive had this idea for so long but i just shitwrote it now (this is unedited so sorry for everything lmao.)

It was 10pm, You and Jungkook were on your way to his dorm. He was being annoying as always, touching your ass as you guys walk, and you were acting like you hate it but you secretly loved it when he's being touchy.

There weren't many students wandering outside anymore so he had the audacity, but even if there were your shameless asses wouldn't care. His dorm wasn't that far and that wasn't what concerned you. It was that the dorm was old and there have been eerie stories about it, they even have a weird curfew at 10:30 but no one really follows it. It's your first time going there since you started doing this fckbuddies thing with jungkook.

You hated each other at first, but realized it was just because of your hidden attraction towards eachother. And now you're backed against the wall, because Jungkook couldn't wait to get to his floor to make out with you. It was quite annoying that his room was on the 3rd floor too, and there wasn't an elevator.

It was getting cold and you were having goosebumps from the eerie place, so when you stopped kissing to breathe, you convinced jungkook to continue it in his room and head upstairs already.

It was almost 11, and Jungkook was still fumbling with his keys while at the same time kissing you. "I think we need to stop for a sec, so you can open it faster ya know." You suggest, pushing him away a bit.

He agrees, and tries to open his door again, but it seemed to be stuck and won't open for some odd reason. Jungkook's confused and irritated, he's been living here for a year and this never happened til now. You were getting impatient too, you were supposed to be getting your tits sucked now or riding his fat dick, but his damn door still won't open.

"Fuck it!" Jungkook exclaimed, and grabbed your waist to continue sucking eachother's faces and you grabbed his hair. You heard footsteps and wondered if someone was coming in your direction, so you tried to stop kissing Jungkook, but he just told you to ignore it.

"Ouch, babe don't grab my hair too hard."

Jungkook stopped because the pain was quite unbearable, he wasn't a wimp but it really did hurt a lot when you grabbed his hair. But you met his eyes with a confused look.

"Kook, that was awhile ago. I didn't grab your hair now, my hands were on your neck."

You really were telling the truth, and now you're creeped out as hell. "There's no one else out here. If it wasn't you, then who else could've done it? a ghost? anyway, let's just try to open this damn door again."

After inserting the key, and twisting the knob just like you did before it still won't budge. Jungkook was about to kick it when it suddenly opened. This place was really weird, you thought. You guys finally got inside and you sat on his bed, while Jungkook locked his door.

You checked your phone and it was almost 12 already, you were really out there that long?

"If you're not in the mood anymore I understand. we can just cuddle and watch a movie or something," he suddenly spoke.

"No- I still want to. I still want you." You said, though some stranger things shit just happened not to long ago. Maybe your lust for him was stronger than your fear.

"That's great then baby, come here and sit on my lap." he commanded, so you went and straddled him. You made out again sucking each others tongues, and not long after, your clothes were off.

Jungkook pinched your nipples and rolled it between his fingers, then sucked both respectively just like how you wanted him to. You palmed his crotch and rubbed him up. After some nice foreplay, and eating eachother out, his dick was finally inside you. You were in the middle of fucking when you thought you heard a girl scream.

"Kook, did you hear that?"

"Hear what? I'm sure it's nothing babe, stop overthinking. Am I not fucking you hard enough?" He says in between thrusts, he goes inside you faster and pounds you harder, so you couldn't think about anything else but his amazing dick and the mind blowing sex you're having.

It worked for awhile, until you heard faint knocks on the door. You looked at Jungkook, but he seemed to be too lost in his bliss to notice or hear someone knocking on his door. You didn't want him to think you were crazy and freaking out again, so you didn't tell him, and asked him to play some music, saying it would mask the sounds of your loud lovefcking.

The next morning, you woke up in Jungkook's arms. He was still asleep, and the atmosphere felt better now. It was like the strange events that occured last night was just a dream, or so you thought. After a quickie in the shower, Jungkook was telling you to hurry up with your makeup.

Since he was hungry. Honestly you both were, and you still have an 11am class. When you opened the door though, two odd looking police officers were staring at you like they didn't mean well.

"Uh- what can we do for you officers?" Jungkook was the first one to speak.

"Good morning, Do you guys mind if we ask you a few questions, about the murder last night here on your floor?"

"More specifically, did you guys see or hear anything unusual last night?" The other one said.

"There was a murder last night?" You inquired.

"Yes. A guy died, they say it was suicide, but we figured out he was strangled, perhaps choked to death." "Well, that's unfortunate. But No, we didn't see or hear anything last night. The music from the speakers, were probably too loud for us to hear anything. And we were probably asleep when that happened." Jungkook replied.

"Hmm. How about you miss? Do you have anything to say?" The officer looked at you, waiting for you to say something helpful or whatever. You glanced at jungkook, but he looked like he couldn't help you anyway. "I- No... We really didn't see or hear anything last night." You replied.

"Well, if that's what you say. But we might still invite everyone on this floor for questioning tom. If the murderer still isn't found. And you could always go to the police station, if you forgot to tell us something you should have." He says while staring at you subtly. So you cling unto Jungkook's arm for support.

"I don't get why they need to interrogate us again, we already told them we didn't hear anything." Jungkook says, as you guys eat chicken at Wcdonald's. "Maybe I should've told them what i heard, Kook." You say quietly, your voice almost a whisper.

"Baby what are you talking about? The scream you heard last night? you said it was from a girl- and obviously it was a guy who died."

"But what if the girl was with him? And she killed him? ughh I just don't want my conscience to kill me you know."

"Baby, maybe you're just overthinking. I think we did the right thing. We shouldn't get more involved with it, it's giving me an aneurysm already. Besides, what if the guy was involved with drugs? We wouldn't want to suffer the same fate as him." "Aren't you overthinking too? ugh. I've made up my mind. If the suspect still isn't caught today, I'm telling them about what I heard. And you're coming with me Baby."

"So, you're saying you heard a girl scream that night- while you were..." The police station officer says, while looking at you and Jungkook to make sure. "fucking. when we were fucking." You retorted.

You were tired of thinking about it since last night. "And afterwards, you heard faint knocks on the door?"

"Yes. Then I told him to play some music so I won't hear anything anymore." You replied.

"Well, the girl you heard was probably Anna. Your boyfriend's dorm is quite old you see," You almost rolled your eyes when he called Jungkook your boyfriend. You were just fckfriends and you wanted to correct the officer, but didn't wanna interrupt his story-telling.

"It's up to you if you'll believe my story, but a few years ago, there was a guy named Jason who dormed there, and he had a girlfriend named Anna. He was also a drug dealer, and unfortunately one night they got into a fight because he had to break up with her. It turns out he did it to protect her, cos some gang members were looking for him to kill him. One of the gang members probably found him and strangled him to death. Maybe because shooting him would be too messy, and would arouse more suspicion. Anna perhaps found out about it that night, and screamed for help. She still screams and knocks on doors for help every night on their death anniversary."

"their? she died too?" You inquired.

"Yes, she killed herself that day too. Unfortunately. There were some rumors that she killed him too, but who really knows what happened right? The gang member who killed jason was never caught, so maybe that's why her soul's still not in peace."

"But wait, there were police officers who interrogated us yesterday. Were they ghosts too?"

"Probably. There were officers who died while they fought off some gang members who were escaping- maybe they wanted you to remember them too."

"Well- Can't we do anything about it? Maybe have the whole place blessed again or somethin." You suggested. "They bless the dorm once every 2 years, so..." Jungkook spoke again.

"Maybe we should convince them to make it every year, or month-" You looked at him determined.

You thanked the officer for listening to you and telling you everything, you later learned his name was Kim Namjoon. You then decided to go back to your Uni.

"You knew about the story didn't you?" You asked Jungkook, as you walk to Uni. "I might've heard of it."

"Then why didn't you tell me? were you afraid I wasn't gonna go and do it with you that night, if I knew the place was haunted?"

"No- It wasn't really that. I just didn't want you to think I'm a freak or that I have a screw loose. I didn't wanna freak you out too." He sincerely replied. "I didn't wanna believe in it at first, but then you came that night and strange things really started happening. I realized maybe it was- true."

"Ugh, and you still accused me of grabbing your hair too hard- when it wasn't me." You told him, slightly teasing to see if he'd be scared.

"Sorry baby. I guess I didn't want to accept the fact that it was a ghost who actually grabbed my hair. Guess, Anna was jealous of us being in-love and happy." Did he just say you two were inlove? but then he quickly retracted the statement and said, "I meant- Alive and happy. Ugh fck me." The blush he had said otherwise.

"I already did. But wait, did you just say we're inlove? Jungkook are you inlove with me?" you asked him.

"No- I...just made a mistake okay? Can we go back to class now?" He's dodging the question. "Stop avoiding the subject, Do you like me or not Jung fcking Kook? don't make me say it first, and don't lie to me. If you lie, I'll never speak to you again." You snapped.

"Fine. Maybe I like you a little. So what?"

"Bye, Don't talk to me again-"

"Y/N wait! Fine I'm inlove with you okay? I like you a lot. Happy now princess?" He then gave you a cocky smirk. You turned to face him and got closer, "Really? You're not messing with me right now? If you aren't then I like you too. A lottle."

"No I'm not messing around. I really do like you, and would like to fuck you again tonight." He told you as he put his hands around your waist. "That's lovely, but I'll only accept your offer if you become my boyfriend, and promise me we'll never go to your place again." You feigned to pout, and he found your statement hilarious and cute at the same time, so he pecked your lips.

"Deal. I'm actually thinking of moving to an apartment too, maybe you should come and stay with me." He winks at you shamelessly.

"Wow. Aren't you so fast? Asking me to move in with you already huh? I'll think about it. Though honestly, I'd go anywhere with you because of that dick of yours." You jokingly tell him, you knew it wasn't just because of his dick.

You were undeniably whipped for his coconut btch ass too. But you don't wanna inflate his humungous ego more than it already is. He pouted, and you just laughed and kissed him. You were too late- for your current class anyway.

♡

Thank you for reading!♡♡♡

[fuck-bowers]

Like Bees to Honey (Henry Bowers x Reader)

request: hello! if you’re requesting right now, could i have an imagine where the reader is friends with the losers club but she’s dating Henry in secret and one day they find out by seeing them making out or something? i need more Bowers 😍

A/N: thank you @kaitlinlexiexx for the request!! I hope u enjoy!! I even put a bi jealous richie in here for the fun of it

tw: abusive parents, injury

If Henry Bowers was a bee, you were the honey.

Of course, if the Losers heard a statement like that, Richie would scoff and remark that Bowers was more like a hornet than anything else, and Eddie and Ben and Stan would laugh, and sure, maybe they were all right about that. Yet no one would argue that you were certainly like honey - soft spoken, caring, shy, and truly sweet. Most everyone who met you liked you, and those who liked you would grow to love you. This included Henry, to everyone’s dismay, but mostly Richie’s.

“I know all that ‘opposites attract’ shit, but it’s still just fucking dumb. What the hell do they talk about? They have nothing in common at all.” Richie mused, a little louder than a mutter, flicking a match and lifting it to the Virginia Slim between his lips. 

Richie and Bev stood behind the school, waiting for the others to get out of class. They watched you walk together, exiting the gym.

Beverly chuckled out smoke. “Not sure they do a lot of talking, to be honest,” she teased.

Bev had a hunch her reply would only further infuriate him, and her assumption proved to be correct as Richie rolled his eyes and flipped her off.

She giggled to herself, the joviality of laughter suddenly stained by a tinge of sadness. Richie had liked you for years. Sure, he could’ve made his feelings a little clearer, like ask you out, or do more than tease you every second of the day you two were together - but Beverly stared at her best friend and took in a deep breath that primed for a long sigh, noticing how he hadn’t even tried to crack a sarcastic smile after giving the bird.

This all could’ve been avoided, and it was something you tried your hardest to keep from the Losers club as a whole, but it’s only a matter of time until a secret that huge comes out.

Of course, in the theoretical situation that you were a bee and not Henry, Henry would not be honey, but vinegar.

Henry Bowers and his gang had never occupied your thoughts for more than merely seconds at a time, and you’d only be reminded of his existence whenever the Losers club encountered him. You’d heard endless complaints and stories of his depravity through every Losers club member, but only met the bully they referred to on a fateful trip to the Quarry, after school on the first hot day in months.

“Could it be fucking hotter out here?” Richie groaned to no one in particular as the eight of you approached the famous jumping-off-point, a place you were still terrified to jump off of. Having arrived so soon after the final bell rang, you all assumed that you’d have the whole Quarry to yourselves - you assumed wrong.

“Are you kidding me?” Eddie groaned, peering over the edge. “The fucking Bowers gang is here.”

Soon enough, you and the rest of the club followed Eddie’s lead, all shooting glares down at the four boys rough-housing in the water below.

“Fuck you, Henry!” You heard a voice cry in the midst of laughter, though you were unsure who exactly it came from. You weren’t sure which one Henry was.

“Which one’s Henry?”

“That one.” Richie answered, pointing indistinctly. “The one with the ugly blonde mullet.”

Instantly, you saw him. He was pushing a towheaded kid below the water, only to let him up sputtering and then push him down again. The other two boys were watching and laughing.

“Oh look, they’re drowning each other.” Stan sarcastically remarked.

The comment was left unheard by you, due to your inability to focus on anything other than Henry’s arm muscles flexing, pushing the blonde kid underwater. Finally, the light-blonde boy tackled Henry into the water, resulting in more distant laughter from the other two.

Suddenly, one of them looked up.

“Hey, what do you fucks want?” The heavier-set bystander called, staring up at the eight of you. The others beside him followed his lead, all looking up at the same time.

“Fuck.” Eddie cursed, immediately backing up and running in the direction of where you’d came. The rest of the Losers quickly followed.

You were the last to leave, still staring at Henry Bowers.

“Come on down, sweetheart! The water’s fine!” He called, hand at the side of his mouth, staring right at you. The rest of his gang laughed as you realized that you should probably run away as your friends had. You did.

You weren’t sure if Henry would remember you after that, being up so high, never having met before. He did.

As you ran, you felt an immense wave of guilt. Henry was partly responsible for making the lives of the Losers Club much harder than they needed to be. And there you were, ogling him.

Bees aren’t attracted to vinegar, flies are. In that moment, you felt more like a disgusting, barbecue-loitering fly than a honeybee.

Vinegar attracted you, regardless of what you were. After that day, everything had changed.

You figured, looking back, that nothing would’ve ever happened between you two if your mom hadn’t dropped you off for school that morning. Having taken the bus nearly every day, it was definitely out of the ordinary for you to pull up in front of the school in a red pickup truck, directly after the bell rang. You would’ve walked from your house that morning, had last night not been so nightmarish.

Henry stood with his friends, the same that you saw goofing around at the Quarry, and with most students starting the walk to their homerooms, they seemed to be the only people watching you. A part of you was thankful for that. You were in tears - the less people watching, the better.

Your mother gripped the steering wheel with one hand, and put out her nearly-finished cigarette with the other as she stared at you.

“Honey…” She trailed, staring at the deep, splotchy bruise sitting on your jawline. Makeup had done nothing but mute the blue into a hideous grey. The fuschia tones were uncoverable.

You thought you saw tears in her eyes.

“Don’t say anything at school, okay? Tonight we’ll ice your bruises, they’ll go away before you know it.”

The bruise was an “accident” rather than a lovely gift from your father. This wouldn’t be the last time you had to endure his rage, that your mother continuously tried and failed to protect you from.

Bidding a soft “okay”, you got out and shut the door, unable to keep the tears from flowing.

Patrick had mumbled a ‘holy shit’, noticing your injury before anyone else. Henry was the second to notice the discoloration on your face.

“That must’ve hurt like hell.” Vic murmured, looking at Henry. “Isn’t she the girl we saw at the Quarry the other day?”

Henry knew that you were, but he didn’t say anything. You tried to keep your eyes down as you passed, but the ominous, invasive feeling of every single member of the Bowers gang watching you pass by was too much to ignore. You stopped.

“What? What the fuck are you looking at?” You hissed through tears, looking up to meet Henry’s eyes directly. Your gaze darted to Patrick, then to Belch, and back to Henry.

The moment was terrifying - these guys administered bruises to the whole school, or at least that’s what the rumor mill said. Why were you suddenly so bold?

You continued walking, but you heard footsteps follow.

“That bruise is pretty fucking hard to miss.” Henry’s voice answered.

Stopping in your tracks, you slowly turned around.

Expecting a fight, you put on a grimace - but Henry’s expression was nearly understanding, and something lingered behind it that removed any anger you felt.

“I know that.” You lamented.

He didn’t move, hands in his pockets.

“Who gave it to you?” He inquired in a low tone.

You rolled your eyes. “How do you know I didn’t fall on my face?”

Silence. He stared at you, and a flicker of pain crossed his expression that made you drop the act.

“My dad.” You answered.

The admission was quiet, embarrassed, shy. You already went against your mom’s wishes, and not even five minutes had passed. Why did he care?

“My dad’s like that, too.” He replied.

“Our dads are assholes.” You tried to joke, cracking the smallest smile at him, wiping your eyes.

You knew it was a nice gesture on his part, establishing a sort of solidarity, even though you didn’t know him well enough to feel validated. The way he looked at you was ultra genuine. Without realizing it, the two of you had held eye contact for about five whole seconds.

“Do you wanna…” Henry turned around to look at the guys, looking down the street beyond the high school. He faced you with his hands in his pockets, resembling a nervous little boy instead of a tough-as-nails bully.

“You wanna ditch with us? We were gonna get some food, see a movie… or somethin’.”

Looking back at the guys, they seemed confused, but unquestioning. They weren’t about to refuse you, or deny Henry.

After you only smiled as a reply, Henry smirked himself. “You wouldn’t have to answer all those questions about your face until tomorrow.”

You chuckled.

“I’ll probably have to answer more, going around town with you guys and looking like this.”

Henry laughed in response, and after an extra second of staring between you two, he motioned you to follow him. It was a done deal already, and he must’ve known it.

“Come on, babe.”

Those words led you not only to the Blue Trans-Am and a day full of fun, but into a life where you had to hide how much you liked, maybe even loved, the head of the Bowers gang.

“I can’t go to fucking prom with you.”

“Why not? You can’t dance?”

“Shut up, you know why.”

“Just tell them.”

“I can’t.”

Henry had you up against a wall of lockers inside the boys’ locker room, one hand on your ass, the other up your back, mouth wandering over your neck and biting where it pleased. He pressed against your frame, eliciting a light moan from you.

“Henry…” You sighed. “We shouldn’t be doing this here, anyway.”

You’d been used to handsy exchanges in the back of Belch’s car, behind the Derry Cinema, the library basement, anywhere deemed safe enough by you to warrant a ten minute session of kisses and touches that you wished would last forever. Today’s rendezvous was bold, but not exactly smart. You had a feeling something bad was going to happen.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you in class.” He admitted, voice low and hot. You smiled at the thought of it.

“Yeah, still, this is super risky.”

“It’s hot, and you know it.”

“What if a teacher walks in?”

“Then we have detention together.”

You didn’t have any classes with Henry, which was both a curse and a blessing, as though you couldn’t see him as often as you wanted, no one in your friend group suspected either of you even spoke.

It occurred to you that with Henry being so eager to be around you, he might genuinely have a crush or even more on you - when he grinned against you once more and scattered all your thoughts into stars. 

In an instant, the entire locker room seemed to evaporate and it was just the two of you - or so you’d hoped.

“Why do you use your locker when you have fourteen fucking fanny packs?” Richie teased in the hallway adjacent to the approaching locker room, Eddie scoffing and turning around to face his snickering companion, as well as a smiling Stan and Bill.

“I don’t have fourteen fanny packs, I have two. Well, three. They all serve different purposes.”

“There’s nothing you could keep in one locker that you can’t keep in three fucking fanny packs.”

As they opened the door to the boy’s locker room, anticipating to be alone, they turned the corner right as Eddie started his reply, right as they headed down the same row of lockers that you and Henry made out at the end of.

“I keep all my jackets…”

The four boys stopped in their tracks. Henry actively had his hand snaking down the front of your shorts, your arms around his neck like he kept you from falling through the floor.

The second you heard Eddie’s voice call out from the blue of your hypnosis, you pushed Henry off of you, his back hitting the adjacent wall.

Instantly, you locked eyes with Richie.

“In my gym locker.” Eddie croaked.

Guilt washed over you in an instant. Bev had hinted multiple times that Richie “probably” had a thing for you, and based on the look in his eyes, you knew she had a reason to mention it so often.

Eddie, Stan, and Bill appeared to be in a state of near shock, Eddie’s expression the most terrified.

“What the hell.” Eddie murmured.

Looking regrettably back to Richie, you noticed that he was no longer staring at you, and instead had brought his gaze to the floor.

After a long moment of hesitation, you prayed that someone would say something to break the most uncomfortable silence you’d ever participated in, and right as the silence was broken, you wished just the same that it had only continued.

“Hey guys. We’re dating.” Henry announced, as a matter-of-factly. After turning to you with a smug grin, walked away and through the exit to the gym. 

Well, now they knew.

Unsure of what else to say, wanting to crawl underneath a rock and die rather than stand before your four good friends, the picture of embarrassment, you walked past them and towards the entrance to the hallway. You weren’t sure what would happen after that, and only hoped that you’d be able to even speak to them again after that terrible event unfolded.

“I don’t know how she expects us to move past the fact she’s shacked up with the worst dude in the school. She could’ve picked like, anyone. And she picks him.”

The other Losers had arrived, fresh from their sixth period classes, and Eddie was the first to put in his two cents for the day. Eddie’s take on your relationship with Bowers only brought Richie farther down into despondency, feeling like the fucking loser that Henry always said he was.

Beverly, who learned about the situation directly after Eddie came running from the direction of the gymnasium, was unsure of what to think. Sure, you didn’t know the full extent of Henry’s ability to be the biggest asshole imaginable, but she assumed you would’ve found out soon enough and left him. Every time Beverly saw you two together following ‘the incident’, it seemed there was no trace of his malice. Henry could’ve blended in with every other guy at school, had his reputation not been known by every other student, forcing him to stand out.

“Something’s really weird about all this. I haven’t seen Henry’s goons hanging around him in days.” Beverly noted, staring across the commons at you, holding Henry’s hand.

“Yeah, only Y/N.” Stan added.

It would’ve been a time for Richie to put out his cigarette and yell about how they were focusing on this for too long, that school had just gotten out for the day, that they should go do something, anything. Yet he didn’t move, eyes glued to you from far away, unable to focus on anything else until Beverly put a hand on his knee, looking up at him from a couple steps down on the stairs. Richie’s solemn expression broke in a small, sad smile.

“I’m sorry, Rich.” She quietly bid, almost mouthing it, knowing the guys weren’t totally aware of Richie’s adoration for you.

Richie sighed, looking back at you from across the room. You had no idea that any of them were there.

“Thanks, Bev.” He muttered.

In that moment, Rich regretted that day at the Quarry, regretted telling you about Henry, regretted ever meeting you and introducing you to the other Losers.

Watching you turn a corner with your boyfriend, he sighed, knowing he didn’t mean it, not even a little bit.

He could taste a bitterness like vinegar in the back of his throat.

[discreteluxuryff]

TWENTY-SIX

Trey

“Well, here we are again. Congratulations to my brother and sister. Y'all been through a lot and this time I hope you act right, Trey. She’s a good woman and plus my niece is due any day now.” Jermaine said as he held his champagne glass in the air.

“ I know man, and I’m not losin’ her again.” I turned and looked over at Vanessa. This engagement was happening again, this time I was going to be the man she wanted me to be.

“You better not hurt my sister again. Yo Nessa, if he does you wrong again, you got my permission to kill him.”

“Jermaine, stop,” Vanessa said chuckling. “I know he’s for real this time. Excuse me, though. Trey, can I speak to privately for a moment?” Getting up, I followed her. I hope nothing was wrong, I wanted this night to be perfect.

Stepping outside of the restaurant, I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was beautiful and she looked happy. I have to admit, I could see the stress on Vanessa’s face when we were going through our shit. She wasn’t happy, but I didn’t care then. I’m just glad we’ve moved on from that.

“What’s up Nessa?”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I just want to make sure you’re ready to be with me for the rest of your life. I know you’ve changed, but I don’t want you thinking we have to rush this.”

“We’re not rushin’. I only love you and you’re the woman I need and want, Nessa. I’m more than ready and I love you and I want our family together.”

“Okay, and I love you too Trey. Just promise me that I don’t have to worry about anyone coming between us, again.”

“Trey!” I looked over Vanessa’s shoulders and tried to see who was calling my name. No one was there, but I heard it.

“Trey, did you hear me? Trey….Trey…..” slowly, everything was starting to fade.

I woke up sweating and confused. I looked up at Angel and she was giving me this look. I rubbed my hands over my face and tried to figure out why I had that dream. Everything about it felt so real and I hate that it even ended. My life seemed perfect, but I knew that wasn’t my reality. Lately, I’ve been thinking about Vanessa, but I know that part of my life is done. I had to let that go because she can’t let our past go. Maybe one day we can agree that we’re better off just co-parenting because it’s obvious a relationship won’t work.

“Trey, why are you ignoring me? You fell asleep on me and you’ve been quiet since you woke up. Now you’re just scrolling through your phone. What’s wrong?” Angel said to me.

“Huh? Oh yeah, my bad. I was just thinkin’ and I’m tryin’ to check my emails.”

“Emails, huh? Sure you were. You were probably responding to some thirsty DM’s.” I instantly sighed at that. I don’t know why she always had something to say about other women, we were only friends who were having fun.

Angel was something different and when I say different that’s what I mean. She was cool, but she was also a little too much. She was so possessive and I didn’t really like that. I never gave her a reason to think we were more than what we were. I just really hope she understands I’m not trying to be in a relationship with anybody right now.

“What’s wrong with that? I’m single.”

“Okay, but you’re dating me. Are we not exclusive?”

“I thought we were havin’ fun, Angel. I think you’re cool, but I told you from the beginnin’ what this was.”

“So you’re saying I’m just someone to fuck?! Nigga are you serious right now?!”

“Kind of. I don’t want a relationship with anybody right now. I told you I’m tryin’ to have fun. I don’t need all that right now.” Her face was turning red and she kept rolling her eyes.

This was something I wasn’t about to deal with. I needed to cut this situation off really quick. I just want to focus on me and my kids, I don’t need all of this. Angel may not like the idea of not talking anymore, but I don’t care. I was honest with her about everything, so I really didn’t care about her being upset.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, Angel finally broke it. I knew she was getting ready to yell and bitch and that would’ve been my excuse to tell her to leave. I wanted peace and quiet and she was doing the most.

“When did you decide this? You know what? Never mind. I bet you want your baby mama back. I’m not in the business of keeping no man who doesn’t want to be kept.”

“What are you even talkin’ about Angel? I told you I didn’t want a relationship because I need to focus on my kids.”

“Boy, I don’t care anymore. I have plenty of guys who want to spend time with me.”

“Alright. You leavin’?” She rolled her eyes and began to put her clothes on. She was pissed, but oh well. I didn’t care and whoever was about to deal with that attitude, I hope they can handle her because it’s exhausting.

Watching Angel leave, I decided to grab my phone and text, Charmaine. I missed Skylar and wondered if she was going to bring Skylar over here for the weekend when I get back to LA.

me: I know it’s late but when I get back in town tomorrow, can u bring Skylar over?

Charmaine: I guess I can, but you know we’re going back to Miami soon. I’m ready to move back.

me: what? Nah, I need my daughter close to me. what u wanna move back for?

Charmaine: it’s late. I’ll discuss this when I see you. Good night.

What the hell was Charmaine talking about? She knows how much I hate the idea of Skylar being too far away. It’s bad enough I just found about her recently. I want Skylar close to me and Charmaine knows this. I know Charmaine can do what she wants, but she needs to realize being back in Miami is not the best. Hopefully, she’ll realize this and we can come to an agreement.

***

A few days later…

“ So you had a dream about her? Trey, let it go. One minute you don’t want her and now you’ve been thinking about her. Honestly, you two are draining as hell.” I swear one minute Maya seemed like a person to seek advice and sometimes I wished I didn’t say anything.

“Nah, I always knew what I wanted. Nessa was the one who was with all the back and forth. Anyway, I need some advice about somethin’ Charmaine said. I texted her askin’ to bring Skylar over today and she told me they’re movin’ back to Miami. Am I wrong for wantin’ Skylar close to me?”

“Yes and no.”

“What do you mean yes and no?”

“Trey, Charmaine is grown and plus she had sole custody of Skylar. If she wants to move, let her. Yes, I understand you want your child close to you, but maybe Charmaine is doing what’s best for them. You did have her move all the way here when she had a whole life back in Miami.” Maybe Maya was right, but I’m thinking about what’s best for Skylar.

“Yeah, I guess I see what you’re sayin’. I don’t want to miss out on her life, I guess. Plus the holidays are comin’ up, I want her to be here.”

“You won’t. You act like they can’t visit or you can’t do the same. I know it’s a lot, but maybe Charmaine will agree.”

“I hope so. Have you talk to your friend lately?”

“Now you know I have. She’s doing just fine and maybe you should call her to see when the next appointment is. Before you know it, she’ll be calling saying she’s in labor.” I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Vanessa, but I know I have to. She’s probably thinking I don’t care, but that’s not the case.

Taking Maya’s advice, I decided to call her up. I wasn’t sure if she would answer, but at least I can say I tried.

“Hello?”

“What’s up Nessa? You have time to talk?”

Vanessa

Hearing from Trey was weird considering how he did me at our so called lunch. I didn’t think he cared, but I’m trying to be a different person and give him a chance. Trey had a right to say how he felt, I can’t even mad at that. I just want him to be active in Marley’s life once she gets here.

“Yes, I have time. Surprised to hear from you, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He said chuckling. “I wanted to see how you were doin’.”

“That’s good to hear. I didn’t think I would hear from you, but I’m okay. A little sick, that’s all.”

“Sick? Do you need anything? You know I’ll bring you somethin’. I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you.

“No, I’m fine. I’m over at my mom’s, so she’s taking care of me.” It was cute that he felt concerned, but honestly, I really was fine. I didn’t want him running to aid unless it was serious.

“Your mom? Wait, Vanessa what are you talkin’ about?”

“We’re back on track, Trey. It’s a long story, but I’m sure I’ll see you soon. We’ll talk about that then.”

“I got the feelin’ that you’re tryin’ to rush me off the phone, Nessa.”

“I kind of am,” I said laughing. “You know how I am when it’s food around. I’ll talk to you later, though.”

“Yeah, I know. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be back in LA for awhile, but you know I’ll be back if it’s an emergency.”

“I know you will. Bye.”

“Bye, Nessa.” I hung up. It felt weird not staying on the phone with him. When we were together and he would leave in and out, we would talk for hours. Now it’s like we’re strangers who just met.

I was starting to feel at peace with my life. I don’t know what it is was, but I was feeling better. My mom and I are back on track, Trey’s talking to me and now I’m just waiting for Vashtie to come over. Everything was almost in place. I just wanted a better life and most importantly I was ready to feel like a new woman. My past haunted me forever, and it was draining. To go through the same things, over and over was too much. It took all of my energy and I felt like I wasn’t sane. The way I felt, showed on my face. I felt terrible, so I looked terrible. I don’t need all of the drama anymore. I’m getting older and I need to think about my future. I was becoming a mom and that’s what mattered.

Patiently waiting, I finally heard a knock on the door. I knew it was Vashtie and I was getting nervous. My mom ended up answering the door and that’s when I saw her. I couldn’t believe I haven’t spoken to her in months and I felt awful. Our friendship was tainted because of me. She was being a friend, but I didn’t listen.

“Hi, Vashtie. It’s been years since I’ve seen you. How are you?”

“Hey Mrs. Sanchez, and I know right? I’ve been good, though. I’m living and maintaining. How have you been?”

“I’m okay, for the most part. Come in, though.” My mother let her in and instantly I could feel the uncomfortableness. Vashtie didn’t really want to be here and I get that.

Vashtie sat down on the loveseat right across from me. My mother ended up leaving us in there and that’s when that uncomfortable silence started. I didn’t know what to say because it’s been so long. I missed my friend and now I feel like we’re strangers force in a room. Can we ever come back from this falling out? I feel like we can’t and I just want some type of peace from this in the end.

“Hey, Vashtie.” She just stared at me. It was getting even more awkward. “You’re probably wondering why I even contacted you, huh?”

“Pretty much. I guess it’s okay, I didn’t have anything to do today. What did you call me over here for?”

“I’m sorry. I really mean that, because now I realize how stupid I was being. I wasn’t being a friend and I really feel like I’m the one to blame. I drew a wedge between our friendship and it makes me feel terrible. I knew you were right about the whole Richard thing and about my relationship with Trey. I was blinded and I didn’t want to hear the truth. All the signs were in my face and I dismissed it. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t. I just want you to accept my apology and we can put all of this behind us.”

“ It took you this long to realize that your actions were stupid, childish & just all around wrong?”

“It took a while, well after I went to rehab.”

“You were in rehab? For what exactly?”

“Addiction and abuse.”

“Wow. Why didn’t you contact me sooner, Vanessa? I don’t care if we weren’t speaking, I still care about you.” She really thought it would’ve been easy to call her? We literally fell out and I felt I couldn’t call her.

I wanted to call Vashtie many times, but I was certain that she wouldn’t talk to me. I ask didn’t want to hear “I told you so” or anything else from her. I knew my situation was bad and telling her would’ve been too much for me at that time. I would’ve felt embarrassed if I explained my addiction to her.

“I couldn’t and plus I didn’t think you would want to talk to me.”

“But this was something serious. You had an addiction and that’s something you could’ve called me about. I’ve been knowing you for like eighteen years, you think I wanted to throw all that away over a few disagreements? No, I was just mad because you let a someone manipulate you and abuse you.”

“He really did manipulate me. I was addicted to pills and when I found out he was married I couldn’t get away. I ended up telling Trey about him, and that only ended up in conceiving Marley. Richard found out about that and he beat me once again. I got tired of being a punching bag and after Trey magically got into another relationship and something clicked. I was ready to get help and forget about anything that ever happened to me. I found a place that was for women who were either addicted to drugs or alcohol and who were in abusive relationships. Vashtie, I didn’t have anyone to talk to, it was literally the worst time.” She sat that silent. She did have a concerned look on her face.

It felt pretty good expressing that to her. It was true, though. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to. Vashtie knew every and anything about me and it felt weird that she wasn’t there to support me. I was technically the only family she had left and it was vice versa. I knew one of these days we would come back together, I just hope we can be friends like we used to be.

“Wow, Vanessa. That’s a lot to deal with. I’m sorry that you went through that and I hate I wasn’t around.” She got up and sat down next to me. I really missed my friend.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault that you weren’t around.

"You know what, let’s just forgot about what we went through. It’s old and I’m trying to better myself these days. I just want my friend back.” She said smiling.

“Same here. I missed you, girl. Plus I’m trying to better myself as well, that’s why I finally gave up on Trey.” I said chuckling.

“Gave up on Trey? You alright?”

“Girl that’s a long story. Ever since I found out about his child he had on me and at first, I thought I wanted him back, but now I’m okay with not being together.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. I’m sure he’s been getting karma or he will.” She said with a smirk on her face.

“You really despise him, don’t you?”

“You know I do, but has Maya mentioned Jermaine? I kind of miss him.”

“No, but you like him or something? I always thought you two had some type of spark.”

“No and no. You know what, let’s change the subject. I’m hungry and want some food I know your mom cooked.”

“Yeah, Yeah. We’ll talk about this later and you know she did.” Vashtie knew she like Jermaine, so I don’t know why she wanted to stop talking about it. It felt good talking and laughing with her. It doesn’t even seem like we fell out and I’m happy we can go back to where we left off. No awkwardness, just two friends having a good conversation. I wouldn’t trade this friendship for anything. Now my list of changes is almost complete.