#i just feel immensely guilty if i spend like so much money to go lay by a pool even if i've worked non stop for ages

[puppypeter]

me trying to find somewhere warm that i can afford to go on holiday to: where is my roy kent with marbella tickets and a villa 😭

[bowtiepastabitch]

.

I'm genuinely having such a moment. I saw one of those posts, really well meaning just a "I was backpacking in europe exploring all these cool cities for ten hours a day last year and now I'm disabled and can't get out of bed" and I'm just.... really sad. I never got to go backpacking in europe or explore cities and ruins on foot or anything I just skipped straight to disabled and can't get out of bed. I worked part time and then I worked full time and then I started uni and got disabled (but I'm still working because what other choice do I have). I've never left the north american continent, and the sicker I get the more expensive it gets to potentially do so because doing it cheap means doing it inaccessible. I got exhausted from walking around a grocery store today. Half my friends on instagram are in fucking Europe right now, spain or france or italy or whatever the fuck having a great time. One of the kids at the place where I teach is going on a two week london/paris vacation later this month and she's in fucking middle school. Meanwhile, I'm getting paid 8/hr to teach math and algebra and precal for parents who can afford to send their kid to a fancy tutoring center and even though I only work a couple hours a day I spend the rest of it resting and laying down and barely having the energy to scroll my tumblr dash most days. I'm so fucking tired. I pay money for doctors to tell me things I already know but if I don't then I can't prove I deserve my accommodations and even if I do I still feel like I'm fucking faking it to be lazy. I know the "1 in 3 adults in the united states has this that or the other" is supposed to make me feel less alone but instead it just makes me feel like I'm exaggerating and should be able to at least keep up with a good chunk of people my age but I just fucking can't. I can't do this. Maybe if I was fucking middle class and didn't have to work to live or if I was able bodied and could work a normal job, or if I had rich parents and could do the things I wanted without having to struggle for them things would be different but I have fought so. fucking. hard. for everything I have. I'm alive because of the work I put in to pull myself back from the edge over. and over. learning to keep myself alive until I could learn to want to be alive. working my fucking ass off to get into a good uni with a good scholarship far away from home so I could move out of my abusive household and get a good education. I've worked so fucking hard for every single thing in my life and now my body won't even cooperate and let me enjoy it and I'm so fucking exhausted. My memory's not working very well and my body gives up on moving from the couch half the time and I've got vague all over pain that never quite goes away and I can't sleep and I can't wake up and I can't talk to people without being awkward and weird and I can't save up my money and fly to europe. And because I made myself so sick in high school I've got a horrible nagging fear that it's somehow my fault in some way which is honestly maybe a worse explanation than "I'm being a whiny baby about things that a lot of people have dealt with better" and it fucking sucks. Plus I'm living with my parents for the summer because every single thing I applied to for the summer rejected me, so my mental health is wonky and I've got all kinds of little trauma things popping up from time to time but also they're getting better about some things sometimes so I feel immensely guilty to complain about them. And also they're helping pay my medical, even if it is coming out of the rent I paid to them during my medically necessitated gap year. So I again feel guilty bitching about them too much. And my car doesn't work anymore so I have to borrow or ask for a ride anytime I want to go somewhere and I don't have any close friends that live near me anymore anyway. And it doesn't matter because I'm fucking disabled and I can't do cool fun adventure shit and I can't find the energy for big creative projects and I can't fly to europe.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Green eyed Monster ~ PJM [Request]

➳➳➳Word Count: 3K

➳➳➳Genre: Angst, fluff

➳➳➳Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

➳➳➳A/N: I adore Halsey so much, she’s one of my inspirations lmao….Also this is so bad because I have writers block, it’s really starting to make me struggle right now but I am trying so Im sorry. If this isn’t what you wanted let me know and I will try again.

You'd never really experienced jealously until now at this moment, your body was boiling with jealously just from watching Jimin with her, but you knew there was nothing to worry about and he would never do anything to hurt you intentionally but it didn't stop your mind from racing all over the place and your brain jumping to from conclusion to conclusion without stopping to think logically. Jimin loved you and you loved Jimin that should be the only thing that mattered but the little green-eyed monster sitting on your shoulder didn't see it that way. It had all started because you wanted to surprise him while he was out here in America, thinking it would be a nice surprise but once you arrived you saw he had his mind on something else, 

You were exhausted from work that day, you were working overtime to try and save up tickets to go and visit your boyfriend in America. Jimin had flown over for a series of concerts and you were left at home to work and look after your shared apartment but it didn't stop you from wanting to fly out and see him.

"Another day another dollar." You grumbled shoving the tip money you'd gotten that night into a glass jar you kept under your bed, you looked over at the clock on the wall and you knew you had an hour before your call with Jimin meaning you could go and have a shower so he wouldn't know you'd only just gotten in from work. It was a secret that you were going to fly out a see him, Taehyung had told you he would help you with the plane ticket if you wanted but you decided it was better for you to pay because you hated when other people paid for things for you. It had been that way since you started dancing Jimin, you made it clear you didn't want him to pay for everything because you didn't want him to think you were just using him for the money which he didn't think anyway, but he respected that was how you felt about the situation.

"Hi baby," You sang in the phone expecting the caller to be Jimin but when you heard Taehyung laughing you felt your heart sink a little, not that you didn't love talking to Tae but you were missing your boyfriend a lot. 

"Hello to you too." He chuckled and you smiled softly to yourself trying to stay positive about why Jimin was late for his call, he was probably just busy with practice or something.

"Sorry, I thought you were Jimin." You sounded defeated and Taehyung knew how hard you were trying to stay happy for Jimin it was always the same when he went away. You would be happy for him because you knew how much everything meant to Jimin so you would never do anything to come in between him and his dream you just hated the distance the most when it came down to it.

"How much do you have?" He questioned wanting to know if there was anything he could do to help you out, 

"I have enough for a taxi from here to the airport." You grumbled looking over at the money jars you'd taken out to count while you waited for Jimin to call you.

"Let me help you, by this rate you'll be able to see him in three tours time." You knew he was right but you didn't feel good taking money from him, 

"Think of it as a loan, pay me back when you earn the money." You hummed and he chuckled getting excited to see you.  

"Where is he anyway?" You asked looking at the clock it was one am for you in Korea which meant it was around 9 am for Jimin in Las Vegas, they were getting ready to prepare for the performance at the Billboard Music Awards. 

"He's trying to teach Halsey the dance with Namjoon, the dance was changed when we sent it over to her." You hummed and smiled, you'd loved Halsey's music for ages and you were glad they were finally working with someone who wasn't just going to use them for their fame. 

"Is she nice?" You asked getting into bed and laying down, Taehyung began telling you about all the time they'd been spending with her for the last two days and you smiled fondly. 

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself Tae," You whispered finally feeling the effects of the long day you'd had, 

"I'll get your ticket ready for tomorrow your time, late as possible okay?" You hummed and he smiled to himself knowing how much it was going to mean to Jimin that you were willing to fly out and see him. 

"Goodnight Y/n," Tae whispered hanging up the phone and going to find you a plane ticket that was accessible for you at the earliest convenience. 

When you arrived he was busy and you understood that it was his job to be busy but it didn't make it any easier to see him all over Halsey, watching them dancing and laughing together as though you weren't in the room. No one but the boys and management knew you were together, it was supposed to be kept a secret from everyone because it was easier to control what got out about the relationship that way. 

"Y/n come here," Namjoon called noticing that you were staring at Jimin and Halsey from across the room, you slowly made your way over to the leader and kept your eyes trained at the ground. 

"You're supposed to be keeping a low profile." He mumbled to you and you stared up at him, by that he meant stop staring at Jimin all the time you were going to make it obvious. There were cameras everywhere documenting the boys time with her for a series Halsey was doing for her fans.

"Sorry, it's just a little hard when he's all over her-"

"He's just doing his job, leave it." He finished for you before you could even get your words out, you nodded and walked away from him going back to the corner of the room you were sitting in. Taehyung came over to join you with a bottle of water and some snacks for you but you weren't hungry, you were too busy looking at Halsey and comparing her to yourself in every way you could and in your mind she was perfect in every way you weren't. Even dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie she looked amazing, 

"I'm not hungry." You mumbled taking the water and slowly drinking from the bottle but keeping your eyes on them. His hands were lingering on her skin and ou felt yours boil, 

"Has he introduced you yet?" Taehyung asked noticing where your eyes were going and you shook your head, 

"He said he would last night but I know he's busy." You whispered trying not to come across as the jealous girlfriend. You weren't normally jealous, he was always surrounded by beautiful women but this felt different to you for some reason. 

"Jimin!" Tae yelled beckoning him over, Halsey followed him and smiled at you bringing you into a tight hug and smiling. 

"I'm Halsey,"

"I'm Y/n I'm-"

"Taehyung's best friend." Jimin rushed out, you and Taehyung both stared at Jimin and he was smiling at Halsey who was smiling back at you. 

"Well it's nice to meet you Y/n best friend of Taehyung," You nodded and looked at her as she walked away, Jimin stayed behind for a couple of seconds. 

"I know how to introduce myself Jimin, I'm just a friend to everyone else who doesn't know about us." He stared at you, he felt guilty for it coming across the way he did but he panicked not knowing if you were going to tell her or not. 

"Plus I thought I was your best friend?" You giggled poking his cheeks but instead of blushing like he normally would at the action he moved away from your touch and looked around to make sure no one had noticed. You felt your heartbreak a little when he pushed your hand away and went back over to the dance floor, you tried to push it down that he was just a little nervous about the performance but then you saw them together again. Holding eye contact and smiling to each other, laughing at something you hadn't heard.

"He's just stressed about the stage." Taehyung tried to tell you but you knew he wasn't, you'd see Jimin nervous about something before and this wasn't Jimin nervous. This was Jimin flirting with someone else and you could feel your heart shattering whenever you heard them laughing at something, 

"You should go and practise, I don't want to hold you all back." You whispered to Taehyung who slowly left you alone in the corner of the room to go to his position on the dance floor and continued to dance along with the boys.

You'd left the practise early to go back to the hotel room, you were tired from the plane ride and wanted to sleep a little before the big stage performance they would be putting on later. The door to your hotel room banged opened and Jimin was standing there with a giant smile on his face, you hadn't seen him smile that much in so long and it filled you with an immense amount of happiness that you jumped up from the bed to find out what he was so happy about.

"What's put you in such a good mood?" You giggled as he pulled you into his arms, his left arm was hanging around your waist and he bent down to kiss you making you giggle against him. 

"Can a boyfriend just be happy to be with his girlfriend?" You giggled once again and kissed him your arms wrapping around his neck to bring yourself closer to him. 

"I also have this-" He pulled away from you to show you the small bracelet which was around his wrist, you stared at it with a smile. 

"A friendship bracelet from Halsey!" You continued to stare at the small bracelet and forced yourself to keep the smile on your face, you didn't want to show him that it was bothering you so much. 

"She's like a best friend." You looked down at the floor and smiled, 

"That's great Jimin, I'm glad you like her so much already." It was true, you were happy he was getting along with her it wasn't as though he wasn't allowed to have friends that weren't girls, he had plenty but this one was bothering you for some reason. You loved Halsey but maybe it was because of how he'd introduced you or the way he pushed you to the side when she was around but it was bothering you more than it should have done. 

"I'm going to have a shower before tonight, do you want to join me?" You giggled pulling at his sweatpants strings towards the en-suite but he was staring at the phone and shaking his head, 

"We're going to eat with Halsey,"

"We?" Your heart picked up thinking it was you and the boys with Halsey but he turned to look at you, 

"Yeah, we're going to do a small interview there with her camera crew." Your heart slowed back down again and you nodded, 

"Okay...Shall I meet you back here or am I going to the venue?" You asked looking at him and he shrugged his shoulders, 

"Whatever is easier for you." With that, he left the room without giving you a kiss or a hug goodbye and you felt your heart dropping back down to your stomach at the thought of him being with her again. Did he not want to be seen with you? Were you embarrassing to him? You decided you were going to be as normal as you could manage tonight, picking out one of the best dresses you'd brought along with you and going to meet them at the venue. 

You were dressed in an off the shoulder black skater dress which was thigh length and you were waiting in the changing room for the boys to come backstage and be with you, you knew you couldn't be out on the floor with them which is why you were in the changing room watching everything on a screen. The chemistry was hot on stage and you were proud of how amazing they had performed in spite of your feelings of jealously from before everything pushed away once you saw how it all worked on stage. Taehyung was the first one backstage with you and he picked you up in the air making you giggle at him being so childish with you, 

"Ah! You guys did amazing!" You laughed and then looked at the sunflower shirt he was wearing, 

"I'm so stealing this from you after tonight." Halsey started laughing from behind you, Taehyung put you back down on the ground and you hugged her once again. 

"It's nice to see you again, I'm sorry you couldn't make it to dinner Jimin said you had a headache." You slowly nodded as you pulled away from her, 

"Yeah but I'm all good now." You complimented her white suit and she complimented the dress that you were wearing, you were hitting it off amazingly until Jimin came over and threw his arms around you both and it brought back the fact that he told a lie to you and Halsey.

"You're so happy lately," You giggled looking up at him as he smiled down at you, Halsey was over talking to Namjoon and you were alone with Jimin. 

"I have my two favourite girls with me, why wouldn't I be happy?" You smiled fakely and leant up to whisper in his ear, 

"My headache is back I think I might go back to the hotel room." You felt him tense up as you mentioned the lie he'd told Halsey, you pulled away and locked eye with him. 

"Baby-" You walked over to Taehyung and told him you weren't feeling well and that you would see him the next day instead, 

"I hope you feel better soon," Halsey said with a pout wrapping you in a tight hug once again, 

"I'll walk out with you." She said quick goodbyes to the boys and rushed out of the room with you, once you were alone in the hallway with no one but her bodyguard she linked your arms together. 

"I'm sorry about Jimin, I had no idea you were dating." You shook your head trying to laugh off what she'd said, 

"I-I'm just their friend, me and Jimin-"

"Relax, I know the signs." You sighed and rounded a corner she was still holding onto your arms, 

"If I'd have known I never would have flirted back with him." You shook your head at her and smiled softly, 

"It's fine, it's just in his blood to flirt." You mumbled but she didn't seem convinced that you were fine and wanted to somehow make it up to you for what she'd been doing, 

"We'll go to dinner tomorrow and have a pamper night, how long are you in town for?" She was really trying to be friendly with you and you were excited about it you'd never really had girl friends before, just a couple of friends from school but you rarely spoke to them. 

"I'd love that actually, I can't remember the last time I had a pamper night...I'm here for the rest of the week." She smiled agreeing to make more plans with you when she had the time but she was late, she handed you her number and let you leave in one of her cars back to the hotel.

The week had been by in a flash and now you were back home with Jimin in your shared apartment, after that night with Halsey and him lying to you both you talked it all out. He promised he meant no harm by anything he'd been doing and you promised him it was fine.

"Who are you texting?" He asked once he noticed you smiling so much at your phone, you smiled at him and showed him the collection of photographs that Halsey had sent you. 

"It's from the week, did I tell you she took me dancing?!" You asked excitedly showing him videos of you both on the dance floor doing the boy with Luv dance, she was really fun to hang around with and Jimin could feel himself getting jealous by the second. Ever since you'd been hanging around with Halsey that week she was all you could talk about and he was starting to see why you were so off with him last week. 

"Jimin look." You giggled showing him the matching necklaces that you and Halsey had gotten on the last day, it was a love heart locket with a photo of you both inside and your initials carved onto the front.

"Your little green-eyed monster is showing Jimin." You teased as he walked away with a pout on his lips, you chased after him and threw your arms around his neck jumping up onto his back and kissing his head. 

"I LOVE YOU!" You yelled making him chuckle, he pulled you back down to the floor and stood in front of you, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you sweetly, 

"I am sorry for what I did." You hummed and kissed him again, 

"Makeup sex for the 16th time this week?" You giggled kissing down his neck and sucking along the skin, he groaned out your name and you smirked knowing the effect you had on him. 

"Come on then." He chuckled putting your phone down on the table and running with you up to your room together.

Tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @callingmyangel​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @rjsmochii​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

[healisms-blog1]

❝ the good girl is always a ghost, the body is always a wound. ❞

( katherine mcnamara. 23. she/her. ) we spotted MARIELLA CAULFIELD around toledo today, just another gear in the machine of the apocalypse. i heard she is a MEDIC for CAMP SEROTONIN. i guess it fits, seeing as she is known to be + resilient & + charitable, as well as - impatient & - naïve. they often have fade by lewis capaldi in their head while they work. i wonder if they’re prepared for what’s coming ? ( faye. 22. est. she/her. n/a. )

life as she knew it,

Born to Louise Brodeur and Darby Caulfield in the midst of a very cold winder night in Leavenworth, Washinton, Mariella Caulfield was the product of a unconventional relationship. Despite their new addition, both refused to settle down into an indifferent, loveless marriage and instead agreed they would work to raise their daughter separately. Once she was able to walk she would spend time split equally between Washintong and New Orleans, Louisiana. It was often that her parents fought on what values to instill into her, their core values and expectations never quite lining up.

Her father wanted her to be raised to live life as she pleased, whereas her mother would have preferred she was brought up in a more traditional sense. As a result, Mariella had very different relationships with her parents. To her dad, who she mirrored in more ways than one, she could do no wrong. Her mom on the other hand, she had grown to detest her daughter more and more with every visit. She reminded her too much of her father, a man she loved more than anything to hate.

The friction between she and her mother eventually came to a boiling point at age ten when child protective services were called to their townhouse by a neighbor. The elderly women next door often overheard screaming between the two of them and worried she might be abusing her child. The charges were investigated and eventually dropped, but the memory of being ripped from everything she knew and ( while briefly ) shoved into foster care has always stuck with her. While Louise was technically not guilty of anything, she did very little to prove otherwise once her parental rights were restored.

Even as a young child Mariella was the type who wanted to get out and explore, to meet as many people as possible and learn from them as she went. Being raised by two teachers really set her love for learning into motion. Knowledge above all else was something her childhood was rooted in, and the fever to learn stuck with her well into her time in school. There was no one subject she enjoyed more than the other, but she had a particular penchant for STEM classes. She went through all the changes in potential career growing up; from wanting to be a ballerina, an astronaut, to even considering following in her parents footsteps and becoming a teacher; which is how they met.

On a particularly hot afternoon in the middle of summer, her father began complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath. At first he assured her that it would go away, he would be fine. But as the night persisted and he wasn’t getting any better, she dialed 911 in the hopes that emergency response would make it on time. From the minute she arrived at the hospital she was captivated by the process and found herself asking questions to anyone who would speak to her. Mariella was thirteen then, and everything seemed to have fallen into place. Funny as it was, she found her calling through her father’s heart attack.

It wasn’t until she reached university that she really started experiencing the world for what it was, and she quickly felt like a fish out of water among the masses. As such it was rare you’d find her without at least two books tucked under her arm. Being a medical student took up the majority of her life, the courses work-heavy and requiring immense concentration, but she tried to be as social as she was dedicated to her education. Given she graduated high school at fifteen, the girl pushed herself to mingle with people across the board rather sticking to one fixed set of friends. At her core she believed all people had something more to discover beyond what was shown at face value, thus she made connections wherever she was able.

Graduation from Med school arrived in a whirlwind of emotion, mostly exhaustion and relief. While as happy as she was to be finished with the bulk of her studies and onto the next stage of her impending career, Mariella knew this was one of the last times she’d have to well and truly enjoy being young before fully engulfing herself into the workforce. So, rather than sticking to her typical plan, she decided to celebrate on an impromptu trip to Ireland, setting off with nothing but a quickly packed suitcase and whatever money was left in her bank account.

the start of the outbreak & onward,

September 25th, 2015. Crowded among a group of strangers underneath an airport television, word of the outbreak begins spreading on television. Everyone within the confines of the Louis Armstrong airport in New Orleans were on edge following the story dropping, numerous people began panicking. Rather than feeding into outcry, as nothing around her seemed to be out of the ordinary, she pushed it from her mind as she boarded her connecting flight to Europe. Only, the plane never left the ground.

Ten minutes after their plane finishes boarding, all of the passengers find themselves face-to-face with one of the creatures. Being small and quick on her feet played in her favour as she quickly maneuvered through the plane, narrowly escaping the bloodbath with her life. A good few of them survived the ordeal and decided to stick together, spending the initial night of the outbreak holed up in a supply closet. The group separates the next morning, each hoping to return to their respective families. She, however, blindly decides to make a run for it.

Alone, unarmed, and terrified, she did the best she could for someone in her situation. They—whatever they were—began surrounding the gas station she holed herself up in, making any chance at escape very slim. Convinced she’d die there, whether by starvation or from being attacked when the reinforcements on her door gave way, Mariella began plotting an escape route. She knew very little about the outbreak as it stood, but was observant enough to notice that if they were distracted by a loud noise, she could make her way around without much trouble.

The next week or so is spent coming in and out of abandoned houses and scavenging whatever she can carry. Mostly everything she took was medical supplies, building herself quite the kit should she need to help someone in need. By that point her initial adjustment to the new world went by quite horribly. As time passed she quickly found that the more ‘savage’ way of living was not the one for her.

At first of the mind that the creatures were still people underneath the dirt and decay, Mary refused to kill them. To her, they could still be saved. There would be a cure. There had to be, right? Before she joins a group or finds a solid place to call home, a close encounter with a hoard is what changes her mind. Someone steps in to save her, and she’s felt indebted to them ever since. The near-death experience acted as a wake up call, and from that point on she stopped avoiding the inevitable; to survive, the undead had to be exterminated. The possibility of a cure ( or at the very least a vaccine to help the remaining humans ) still plays in the back of her mind.

The person that rescued her disappeared as quickly as they swooped in to aid her, but she got lucky shortly after and found a few people to travel with. Everyone within her group seemed to be handling the transition with relative ease — whereas she found herself keenly aware that she would not survive long if not for having capable people surrounding her. Though she may not be the greatest in combat or of much use when it comes to scavenging, she knows she’s a valuable asset in other ways, happily putting her medical knowledge to good use.

January 14th, 2016. Catching wind of a camp called Serotonin beginning a slow recruit of people with varying abilities, Mariella is among the first to offer her expertise. Thankfully she’s welcomed with open arms and feels she may have found herself somewhere much more permanent to call home. Trust doesn’t come so easily in their new world, though she’d certainly lay her life on the line if it came to down to protecting her people. Any people, actually, because prioritizing human life above all else is her number one goal. When she’s not tending to the ill or injured, the young woman proudly acts as a morale boost, doing whatever she can to keep everyone around her going. Where most people have seemingly given up hope on there ever being a way out, let alone a real chance of survival to the end, she remains fixed in her belief that there are better days ahead of them.

misc,

Basically, she’s kind, gentle, soft, dedicated, passionate, thoughtful, stubborn.

She’s a certified Mom Friend™ and proud of it.

Would literally go to any length necessary if it means keeping those she cares about safe. She honestly just wants to save people in general !!!

She tends to see the best in people, even those who don’t deserve a moment of her time, and tbh, she’s not to be trusted when it comes to making allies; she’s liable to take in the wrong people and get herself killed.

She’s not helpless, she can get things done when needed, but she can’t fully defend herself. Aka, she ABSOLUTELY needs training.

wanted connections,

I’m not very picky, I’d love any and everything under the sun, but here are a few potential ideas:

Maybe someone she met travelling between baton rouge and the reservoir, who helped keep her alive and she aided them medically

Friends and/or a close/best friend

A good influence, someone who brings out the less tense, more relaxed version of herself

Maybe an ex or a past fling??? idk

Someone to help train her!! homegirl really needs to learn how to use a gun and fight (honestly, bc Kat has good content from Shadowhunters and Arrow and I rly want to use it)

People outside of her camp that she helps, bc honestly she wouldn’t be able to resist doing whatever she can to  aid people, especially helping a rouge if they came to her

idk just pls gimmie all the connections/plots AhH!

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Such a Softer Sin (Chapter fifteen)

(Chapter one)     (Chapter two)     (Chapter three)     (Chapter four)  

(Chapter five)     (Chapter six)     (Chapter seven)     (Chapter eight)

(Chapter nine)     (Chapter ten)     (Chapter eleven)     (Chapter twelve)

(Chapter thirteen)     (Chapter fourteen)

Bar fights, nurse Lila and some fluff.

---------------------------

Three days had passed by since Lila witnessed the twins beating the crap out of each other for barely any reason. Things had returned mostly to normal. Their playful teasing banter had returned and they were at ease with each other once again. She was back to being called ‘love’, ‘sweetheart’ and even ‘m’girl’. After Murphy had slipped up a few times with saying it, he came to realise that there was no way she hadn't heard him at least once and she never mentioned it, she never acted like she didn't like it. It made his chest swell with...something. He wasn't quite sure but it was nice. The only thing that hadn't gone back to normal were the twins affectionate touching. After what they did, the felt like they had no right to do that anymore, more so Murphy. He was half expecting the girl to turn around and say she couldn't forgive him after all and leave at any moment. He didn't talk about it though, at least not to her. She had asked they all move on from it after all. He had spoken to his twin about it though and Connor had told him to just count his blessings and move on, just like Lila wanted. So he was trying.

Lila was lay on her belly in Murphys bed, her legs swinging a little behind her as she read one of Connors books from his pile; Titus Andronicus by Shakespeare. It had always been her favorite play by the man and she was pleasantly surprised to find it in Connors pile. She never would have pegged Connor as a reader, any of the boys really. But living with them had made her learn a lot about the twins. They were similar in a lot of ways, they were twins of course. They walked the same, they were so synchronised it was insane, lighting smokes the same way at the same time, taking shots at the same time. When they told their dramatic stories, they finished each other sentences, and they’d often speak in unison. Sometimes it was like they were one person split in half. But they weren't. They also had very big differences which most people never really got to see as they didn't get close enough to notice. Connor loved to read, Shakespeare was one of his favourites much to her delight, he loved his movies, especially the westerns that Murphy loved to take the ever loving piss out of him for. He loved cars although he had never had the pleasure of owning one. He preferred cold weather to hot and he liked his pizza with mushrooms on. Murphy loved music, mainly rock or grunge, he loved anything art based, especially lowbrow art pieces and photography. He had told her how he always wanted to try his hand at photography but he could never afford a camera. He wasn't much of a reader but he actually loved to write, much to her surprise. He wouldn't tell her what he wrote though and he seemed weird and secretive about it and she got the distinct feeling that even Connor might not know about it. Maybe he feared his brother would rib him for it, but she knew Connor wouldn't. Connor appreciated any literature from plays, novels and even poetry. She hoped maybe one day Murphy would share his work with her and even his brother. He preferred warmer weather to cold and he liked his pizza with pepperoni.

The twins were sat on Connors bed, writing a letter to their Ma which she thought was fucking adorable. She knew the twins rang their mother at least once a week, and if they missed calling her at that exact hour, she would call them instead, usually giving them shit. Yet they still liked to write to her. Lila turned the page of the book, engrossed in her reading, and she could vaguely register the twins bickering as they snatched the paper from one another to write something down. She was sure by this point the letter probably didn't make any sense. Her ears perked up when she registered something being said about the boy's birthday coming up on Friday. They hadn't mentioned it to her yet, she figured they wouldn't. It would be obvious on the night as she imagined they would go out to McGinty's and have a good old knees up. But she wondered if they wouldn't tell her beforehand so she wouldn't buy them something. They always acted so weird about her buying things, even groceries. She didn't mind, she didn't have rent or bills to pay now and she wanted to help out when she could, but they always got so fucking offended when she did. She smirked to herself as she continued to read, already forming an idea in her mind about what she could get them. She had been able to save up her cash since she had nothing to pay with it and surprisingly, McGinty's paid really well, even with it being a part-time job. She got paid overtime for working weekends too and by now she had a nice amount of money saved up, and she couldn't think of a better occasion to spend it than to treat the boys for their birthday. She just needed to keep it a secret and with Connors gift, she would need to enlist Rocco's help. She’d have to threaten him to keep his mouth shut though, but luckily for her, he had seen how scary she could be when she had the fight with Murphy.

Rocco had been coming over every day which was nice, the four of them made quite a group. The boys were off for a week, paid leave, since some of the machines in the factory weren't working and needed emergency repairs. So she had a whole week with them. She was excited but she still felt ever so slightly awkward. She had noticed how the boys had distanced themselves physically. Hell at this point Rocco was more affectionate since he hugged her whenever he saw her, yet the boys never did anymore. She hadn't hugged them either, she figured that they were not affectionate anymore because there was too much water under the bridge. When they used to be affectionate, she didn't think anything of it, she thought it was because they were close friends. But now she knew better, it was because they liked her as more than a friend and now too much had happened for them to want that with her.

She glanced over to them just in time to see Murphy smack the pen out of Connors' hand petulantly and Connor looked ready to throttle him until Lila burst out laughing. They turned to watch her, their annoyance melting and turning to smiles as she sat up and closed the book.

“You two are like children.” She snorted as she stood up and stretched her arms above her head. She was still only in Murphy's shirt, they'd had a lazy day today and the boys were only in their jeans.

“Are not.” They both muttered, making her huff a laugh. She missed how their eyes were drawn to her legs when the shirt rode up her thighs as she stretched. She glanced at the clock, seeing it was time for her to get ready for work and she grabbed her jeans, shimmying into them. The boys were silent as they watched her intently. She grabbed her dark green tee and turned around, pulling Murphy's shirt over her head before slipping hers on instead.

“Elle est foutrement belle (She’s fucking beautiful).” Connor muttered in French, his eyes not leaving Lila despite the words directed at his brother.

“Je sais, je veux mordre à pleines cuisses (I know, I want to sink my teeth into her fucking thighs).” Murphy murmured, looking at her like he was about to pounce on her as he rubbed his lower lip with his thumb. Connor looked at Murphy incredulously at his bold words before he barked out a laugh and shook his head. He wasn't fucking wrong though, Connor felt the same. Lila turned around to face them again as she took her hair down and ran her fingers through it. Murphy was grateful, he hoped she would wear it down today.

“You know I hate it when you two do that shit.” She huffed as she gave them a pointed look.

“Ye don’t like French love? Most lasses love it.,” Murphy gave her a wicked smile that actually made her blush a little, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the boys as they shot each other sly smirks. She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head at him.

“I’m sure they do. I’m glad you two villains use your superpowers for evil and not for anything good.” She snorted, making her way to her boots. The boys laughed as they stood up, each grabbing their owns shirts and getting dressed. Lila sat on a chair and put her boots on, lacing them up.

“Wouldn’t call it evil per se, would you Murph?” Connor smirked, noticing the way Lilas' eyes were drawn to him and his brother as they dressed.

“Nay brother, the lasses seemed te love it. They all seem te find God soon enough after.” He cackled, making the girl blush more and snort loudly as Connor rumbled a laugh.

“You two are impossible, seriously.” She grinned, pinching Murphy's side as she walked passed and causing him to yelp a little. Connor grinned at him, he always loved it when the lass picked on his brother and not him instead. Murphy just shot him an indigent scowl.

The walk to McGinty's was uneventful, apart from the usual bickering from the twins and the occasional smacks across the others head over Lilas' shoulders. Connor clipped her head by accident one time and Murphy took great delight in telling him he was an awful person for it, knowing Connor felt guilty about it. Connor almost retorted with how he had done so by accident, whereas Murphy had manhandled the poor lass so rough that he had left marks on her. Because yes, Connor had seen the marks his brother left on their lass and it had taken his immense amount of self-control and restraint not to put his fist through his stupid twins face. But he didn't, and he didn't because Lila had asked him that day not to hurt Murphy. She hadn't used words, but with the look and shake of her head when Connor was ready to well and truly put Murphy in his place, he knew she didn't want him to hurt his brother.

They sat at the bar and watched Lila work with such ease, the boys questioned if she was born in an Irish pub and forced to work there as soon as she left the womb. Not long after they got there, Rocco had joined them, sitting next to Murphy as they all drank and had a laugh. They had been there for only an hour when the boys suddenly felt a sense of foreboding, making the hairs on the back of their necks prickle up. They glanced to each other, knowing they both felt it, a change in the air. Something was coming, they didn't know what but trouble was definitely on its way. Rocco didn't feel the same sense of foreboding as the brothers, but he knew them well enough to pick up on their energy that shit was about to hit the fan. The twins had this way of somehow knowing when something was going to go wrong. The boys were shocked when they glanced to Lila to see that she too had felt it. She stood tense, her usual smile gone as she glared at the doors like she just knew something was on its way to fuck up everyone's night. When she turned to look at the twins, they knew she definitely felt it too. It never ceased to amaze them how she always seemed to be on the same wavelength as them, just like how she knew about the telepathy even though they never mentioned it. It was like the three of them were linked somehow, not as strong as Connor and Murphy's connection, but it was still there. The other people at the bar seemed oblivious to the trouble that was coming their way but the boys and Rocco sat tense and waiting, Lila back to watching the door.

It opened with a bang and six rowdy guys filtered in, they looked like some kind of college frat boys and they were being loud and obnoxious. Five of them went to sit in a booth, laughing loudly and being generally annoying. They were all so out of place and they were all drunk already. A muscular blonde guy walked over to the bar, he gave Lila a very obvious once over with a cocky smirk and she bristled. She held back the urge to snarl at him. She couldn't muster up her usual smile like she did for all her other customers. There was something off about this guy and his friends, she could just feel it. Murphy went to jump off his stool, ready to pounce on the fucker for looking at Lila that way, it was obvious she was uncomfortable with it. His rage had missed simmering and boiling and shot straight to murderous. Connor gripped Murphy's forearm, making him stay seated. It wasn't that he thought the lass would be upset if they intervened. He knew this wasn't like before, this was unwanted attention. But he had no intention of making a scene just yet with the other five just there. He knew he and Murphy could take them, they also had Rocco to have their back and he didn't doubt for a second that the other patrons of the bar would help, not with how much they had grown to love Lila. He just wanted to hold off on the impending bar fight that he could taste on his tongue.

Murphy growled, the sound rumbling from his chest and Connor squeezed his arm tighter in response as a warning. The pair were glaring at the man as Rocco watched on, waiting for the brothers lead.

“What can I get you?” Lila asked, disdain dripping from every word she said. The boys were close enough to be able to hear her. The man seemed unfazed by her tone and he licked his lower lip, still smirking at her.

“Six beers and six shots of whiskey. Oh… and your number.” He grinned cockily. Lila pursed her lips and quirked a brow at his boldness to almost demand her number but she didn't say a word. She gave him a sickly sweet smile that left the twins and Rocco all looking a little confused at her sudden change of demeanor. She set about making the drinks and the boys watched in horror as she scribbled something on a napkin. Surely she just hadn't actually given the prick her number? She handed it to him and he looked all too pleased with himself, that was until he glanced at it. He tossed the napkin at her and she smirked, watching him scowl at her.

“Really? ‘Go fuck yourself’? What happened to service with a smile bitch?” He scoffed at her. The word bitch seemed to linger in the air and Murphy was ready to tear Connors arm off if he didn't let the fuck go. This time it was Connor who growled.

“How about service with a ‘go to hell’?” Lila sneered at him. She knew she was being rude but she didn't care.

The man's eyes darkened as he glared at her.

“Now listen here you little whore, you-” It was as soon as the second offensive word left his lips that Connors' hand released his brother, almost as if he was releasing a wild dog on command to attack, and Murphy flew out of his seat instantly. He charged at the man, knocking him right onto his back as Murphy's fist collided with his face, over and over again whilst he yelled all kinds of curse words and offensive terms. It was all a blur, a flurry of movements and Lila stepped back looking shocked. The man's friends ran over and Connor was on one in an instant, Rocco on another. Another man grabbed Murphy, throwing him off the guy who was now unconscious and Murphy got a punch to the face.

“Murph!” Connor yelled, he started to run over to him but was intercepted by one of the men, he got a punch to the gut but he recovered quick enough to lay the asshole down. Murphy was fighting viciously with the man who had punched him, he was a big fuck but Murphy was relentless in his anger. Watching his brother being hurt only served to fuel the fire inside of him. A few other regulars at the bar jumped in, helping the boys out, and it felt like as quick at it had started, it was now over, with six knocked out assholes lay on the floor.

Lila looked between the boys, Murphy's nose was bleeding and she hoped it wasn't broken and Connor had a wicked black eye already coming through and he was clutching his side as he tried to breathe. Murphy went right over to his brother, the both of them not needing words as they checked in with one another. They were fine, they won and they'd most certainly live. It wasn't their first bar fight and they doubted it would be their last. Rocco had managed to come out with only a sore jaw and the other patrons were unharmed since they had outnumbered the men in the end. Lila was almost in shock. In all her times working in bars, she’d never witnessed a bar fight before, especially not ones with people she cared about in the middle of it. The boys looked at her, making sure she was okay, and she snapped out of her stupor. She darted off into the back of the pub and the boys’ hearts sank, feeling like she was upset with them. They sat in a booth with Rocco and suddenly Lila was there again with a first aid kit. Relief flooded them as she opened it, looking from one to another as if deciding who to treat first. She looked worried and sad and they hated that look on her angelic face.

“Murphy first lass.” Connor muttered, reaching out and squeezing her hand. None of them thought about how it was the first physical contact they'd had since the awful night, there was too much going on to even register that.

Murphy looked to Connor with a frown. He knew Connor didn't say to treat him first because he was worse, it was just what Connor did. He always looked out for Murphy like a big brother. Always putting Murphy first. Lila stood in front of Murphy, dowsing some cotton swabs with alcohol. She took his jaw gently and tilted his face up to hers. He blinked up at her, admiring her beautiful face. He just wanted to grab her and throw her on the table to claim her. Watching that pricks eyes roam her body like that, coupled with the adrenaline from the fight, it made him a little horny if he was honest. She lifted the swab but hesitated like she didn't want to hurt him, he could read her like a book as she furrowed her brow and looked at his bloody nose.

“It’s alright m’girl, just do it.” He encouraged, giving her a grin. It hurt, of course it did, but he always felt better after a good fucking fight. To unleash the anger that was always bubbling at the surface inside of him. He and his brother often enjoyed the adrenalin of the fights and afterwards they always felt almost giddy. Lila soon realised this too as Connor had got up with Rocco and was talking and laughing to the others in the bar animatedly.

She wiped his nose and he winced a little. It turned out his nose wasn’t broke, but there was a gash on it that was oozing blood. Her frown deepened as she cleaned it.

“I’m sorry Murph.” She whispered regretfully as she cleaned him up. Murphy quirked a brow at her as he looked at her confused.

“What for love?” He asked softly, one of his hands reaching out and winding around the wrist that was holding his jaw lightly.

“If I wasn't rude to him…” She sighed, setting the swab down as she got some butterfly strips and put them over the gash. It wasn't too deep to require proper stitches.

“Hush now girl, ye didn’t do a thing wrong. He was a wrong’un, I know ye felt it too. He woulda found a reason te cause trouble anyway.” He said sincerely, pinning her with his intense gaze. She let go of his face and stepped back just a little and Murphys hand trailed down her wrist to her hand, linking his fingers with hers. It was obvious that seeing him and his brother getting roughed up a little had upset her.

She glanced down to their hands and noticed his bloody knuckles and frowned once more. She moved to sit opposite him, their hands still linked. She let go to grab more swabs and pour alcohol on them, taking his hand carefully as she cleaned his knuckles as gently as she could. It stung like a motherfucker but he didn’t let it show. He just watched her quietly as she worked, seeing the concern she had for him all over her face. It made his heart ache. When she was done, she stood up and he did too. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, winding a hand into her hair. He felt her relax in his arms and squeezed her a little. When she moved away, she looked up, searching his face to make sure he was okay.

“We’re fine m’girl, been through worse aye? Just look at Connor.” He smiled reassuringly, she turned to his brother across the bar who seemed to be having way too much fun reenacting the fight with the others and she snorted a little. She glanced back up at Murphy and he could see some of her worry melting away and he smiled brightly at her. His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking it affectionately and her hand came up to his. He half expected her to push his hand away so he was pleasantly surprised when her hand just lay over his and she leant into his touch.

“We’ll always defend yer honor love.” He smiled mischievously at her, making her huff a laugh. She moved away and shoved him lightly.

“Go, send the next patient over.” She smiled ruefully at him. He was glad he’d made her smile. She had no need to worry about him or his brother. He stepped forwards, placing a soft caring kiss on her cheek. His lips lingered for a moment and she closed her eyes, feeling the warmth spread through her body. She’d fucking missed this with them. He pulled away almost regretfully and gave her a smile before he went off and told Connor to get his sorry ass over to her.

Connor sauntered over, a buzz in his veins from the fight. He flashed her a dazzling grin as he sat down.

“Do be gentle with me nurse Lila.” He smirked cheekily at her, making her huff a laugh at him and shake her head. She took his chin in her hands like she had done to his brother, tilting his head to examine his face. He had a black eye but no cuts to his face.

“Up.” She demanded, gesturing for him to stand so she could check his ribs. He complied and lifted his shirt, he was bruising already. She carefully ran her fingers over his ribs and he shivered at her touch. It didn't hurt too bad and after a few pokes, she concluded nothing was broken. But she wasn't a doctor so what the fuck did she know? She sat in the booth and took his hand, making him sit as she cleaned his knuckles like how she did to Murphy. She was silent and Connor watched her carefully. He could see the whole thing had affected her.

“Talk te me lass.” He pleaded softly, looking at her worried. She glanced to him and scoffed, seeing how concerned he was.

“Are you kidding me? You and your brother get roughed up and you're worried about me?” She asked incredulously, shaking her head.

Connor frowned and stood up, pulling her up by her hand to stand with him. She blinked up at him as his hands came to either side of her face, making her look at him. His gaze pierced her, pinning her in place with those blue eyes.

“Me and Murph will always worry about ye, make no mistake sweetheart.” He said seriously, no mirth in his eyes or tone. She took a shaky breath and nodded, looking down unable to hold the weight of his gaze. He leant forward and placed a sweet kiss to her forehead, and much like Murphy had, his lips lingered for a moment and she felt the familiar warmth once again. When he moved away he gave her a beaming grin.

“Ready te play nurse te Roc now? Only his knuckles need lookin’ at but, between you and me, I think he’ll milk it so the pretty nurse can dote on him.” He chuckled mischievously, making her roll her eyes playfully.

“Send him over.” She snorted, batting Connors arm softly. He gave her one last smile before he walked off.

“Aye Roc! Nurse Lila will see ye now!” He cackled loudly, making her shake her head.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28

[super--dale-blog]

Frenemies  (part 2)

Description:  Archie begs the reader to join his and Jugheads road trip, and then ditches last minute.

Word Count: 2108

Pairings: Jughead x Reader

Read Part 1 Here!

A/N: WOW. I am so shocked that SO many of you liked Part 1 of ‘Frenemies’ so much! That inspires me to write so much. It makes me feel so good when I get a notification that someone has liked/reblogged/commented on my post! Thank you so much! 

You threw your luggage into the back of Jugheads battered pickup truck, climbing into the passenger seat and settling in. Jughead climbs into the front seat, and you already feel uncomfortable with the close proximity between you two. You try to nonchalantly shift closer to the door, but he notices and snorts.

“Don’t worry, I know you may think so but you won’t die from breathing the same air as me,” he says and you bite your lip, keeping your retort to yourself.

“I thought we were trying to be civil?” you ask, lathering on the sweetness to your otherwise salty tone. He sighs, and you both lapse into a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

You reach over to turn on the radio, but Jughead gently slaps your hand away. “Uh, what are you doing?” he asks.

“I was going to put on music, you know, so we didn’t have to sit in this stuffy truck and only hear one another’s breathing.” You say, and he puts on a hurt face.

“Hey hey hey, my baby is not ‘stuffy’. She’s perfect” he says, patting the dashboard of his truck, and you let out a slight laugh. “Woah. Did (Y/N) (Y/L/N) actually laugh at a joke I made?” he puts a hand over his heart, faking surprise. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t get used to it. I’m cold and dead inside. Those laughs happen once in a blue moon.” You say, this time making Jughead laugh.

“Sure they are, sweetheart.” He says, and you stiffen.

“Don’t call me that. Remember, we’re only doing this to spite Archie. Not because we’re actually friends.” You say, and cross your arms. He holds up his one hand in defeat, keeping the other trained on the steering wheel. Glancing out the window, you watch as you leave Riverdale behind, and sigh. You realize now that there’s no turning back.

Jughead puts on music instead. “You were right. It’s hard listening to you breathe.” He say’s bitterly, and your head snaps over to him. He keeps his eyes focused on the road, and you slouch in your seat. You both fall into completely uncomfortable silence.

Sleep overcomes you soon, and you lean your head to one side, closing your eyes and letting the rhythm of the road lull you to sleep.

“(Y/N)! I’ve been calling you for five damn minutes. If you don’t get up now, I will not get you any food while I’m in there.” Jughead shakes you, trying to wake you up. Your eyes flutter open, realizing where you are, you look up at him from your position slumped over in the front seat.

“Where are we?” you asked groggily, rubbing your eyes. Jughead only smirks.

“I knew you’d wake up with the mention of food.” He hops out of the truck, leaning against the side waiting for you to get up and out of the vehicle. “We’re at some roadside diner. I can already tell it won’t be as good as Pop’s but I was hungry and this is the only non-fast food place I could find.” He says, mentioning your distaste for fast food. You smiled slightly at this.

“Well thanks.” You say, before getting out and both of you making your way into the diner. It was dimly lit, with very few customers inside. It was after the normal lunch rush, you figured, glancing at the time on your phone. “How long was I asleep?” you ask, both of you making your way to the booth furthest in the back.

“About three hours.” He says, shrugging. You feel a pang of guilt for leaving the boy with no one to talk to. Maybe it was because you were refreshed from your nap that you felt this way, realizing that you normally would never feel bad for him.

“You could’ve woken me up.” You say softly, figuring that was a good excuse for ‘I’m sorry’. He chuckled.

“And what, force myself to listen to you complain for that long? No thanks.” He said teasingly, but it still struck a nerve in you. You rolled your eyes.

The waitress came over to you then, handing you both a menu and asking if you’d care for any drinks. You asked for a coffee, with a cup of water on the side. Jughead ordered a chocolate milkshake.

“I want to compare it to Pop’s” he murmured, looking back at the menu to figure out what he was going to get. “I’ll probably stick to the burger and fries combo too, really trying to prove that Pop’s is better.”

You snorted, mentally deciding on chicken tenders and waffle fries. When the waitress comes out with your drinks, you tell her your orders and she takes the menus, throwing a couple straws down on the table for your drinks. You sip your coffee, making sure it’s not too hot.

“This isn’t too bad” you look up from your lap, realizing that Jughead was talking about his milkshake. Without a second thought, you take your straw and stick it in the milkshake, taking a sip. “Hey!” he protests, pulling it away from you. You smirk.

“You’re right, not too bad.” You say, and he frowns.

You both sit there in silence, waiting on your food. Once it comes, you still don’t speak until you both have already bitten into the food.

“Okay, this isn’t good.” Jughead says, referring to the obviously overcooked burger. You chuckle, taking a bite of your perfectly cooked food.

“Well it’s good I didn’t get the burger.” You say, and before you know whats happening, he grabs two of your chicken tenders. Before you have time to grab them from him, he licked both of them, making sure you didn’t take them back.

“Ha” he said, and you kicked his shin under the table.

“That’s so unfair. You took half of my chicken I only took a sip of your shake.” You huff, and he shrugs.

“Sucks to suck” he says, eating them quickly. You frown, and continue eating.

Once the two of you were finished, you each paid for your respective meals and left. Climbing back into the truck, you both took off, already bickering about what station you were going to put on the radio.

“There should be a reservation under ‘Andrews’”, you say again to the front desk lady “Two single rooms.”

She clicks her nails on the keyboard, before shaking her head. “Nope, it’s a one room reservation with a double bed.” She says, popping her gum loudly. You huff.

“Well, can we switch to two single rooms?” You ask and she shakes her head.

“No vacancies left.” She says. You mentally curse Archie in your head, reminding yourself to send him a strongly worded text message later.

“That’s fine. We’ll just take the double” Jughead says from behind you and you laugh.

“Um, no we won’t” you state matter of factly.

“We will take the double. It can’t be that bad. Plus, we aren’t spending any of our own money.” He says, and you cross your arms. He talks to the front desk lady, gaining two key cards before slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Let’s go, (Y/N).” he says, and you roll your eyes, but follow him anyways.

You get to your room, and open the door. Looking inside, you realize that it’s a bigger room than you expected. There’s a double bed, with a tv mounted on the wall across from it. A couch is pushed up against one wall, with an ottoman in front of it. The bathroom was huge, with double sinks and a jacuzzi bathtub. Your eyes widen.

“Archie must’ve spend a lot on this.” You say, and Jughead nods, setting his stuff down next to the couch. You lay down on the bed, and you could’ve fallen asleep right there. “This is the softest bed I’ve ever felt” you moaned, closing your eyes.

You felt the other side dip, and opened one eye to look. Jughead laid next to you- a respective distance away- and nodded. You close your eyes again, but just as you’re about to fall asleep Jughead moves, shaking the bed, causing you to open your eyes. He slides off, looking for the tv remote. You sigh, sitting up and making your way into the bathroom to get into your pajamas and curl up into bed.

By the time you exit the bathroom, Jughead was laying on the couch, taking a pillow and a spare blanket from the closet and making a makeshift bed. He changed while you were in the bathroom you were guessing, his top bare. He had one arm behind his head (which still had the beanie placed on it) and the other arm was raised, flipping through the television channels. Your face turned red when you realized that he wasn’t fully clothed, and you looked away.

“What’re you doing?” you asked, and he shrugged.

“You seemed uncomfortable with us sharing a room, so I took one for the team and gave up the comfy bed.” He says, glancing at you and then back to the tv screen. You frowned, feeling bad for him.

Instead of saying anything like you wanted to, you flicked off the bedside light, crawling into bed. You laid there for a few minutes, watching as Jughead finally found a tv station to watch. From his position, he had to crane his neck slightly to see, and he was too long for the couch. His feet stuck out over one of the arms. You sighed, feeling immensely guilty.

“Jug, switch me.” You said, and he looked at you, oddly at first because of the nickname you called him, and next because of your request. “You are too long for the couch, and I don’t even want to watch tv. You’d be able to see it perfectly from up here.” You explained, sleep lacing your voice. He laughed.

“(Y/N), I’m fine. Really. Just roll over and go to sleep.” He says, turning back to the tv. It took every ounce of energy you had left in you, but you rolled out of bed, standing in front of him.

“Switch me.” You crossed your arms over your chest. He laughed again.

“No, I’m good.” You stomped your foot at his reply. You were fully aware that you were acting like a spoiled 12 year old, you were just grumpy from lack of sleep.

“You’re not sleeping on that damn couch.” You say, and he looks up at you. The blue light from the tv illuminated his face, and your heart skipped a beat. You frowned, looking down at the floor, wondering what is making you say and do all of these weirdly nice things to the boy you loathed for the past seven years.

“The only way that I am not sleeping on this couch is if I sleep in the bed. And you are also not sleeping on this damn couch.” He states. You purse your lips, thinking.

“We could make a wall of pillows in between us then.” You say “It should be simple enough. And I don’t move around too much at night.”

He thinks for a second, then nods. “Alright, fine.” Standing up and grabbing his pillow, he makes his way over to the bed, grabbing a few extra pillows from the various furniture along the way. You just stand there, watching him as he climbs onto the bed. “Well, are you going to help me?” he asks, and you snap back into reality.

You both line the pillows down the middle of the bed, going underneath the covers. ‘Can’t risk it’ you thought, adding some extra pillows here and there. You leaned back and nodded, satisfied with your work. You take a glance up at him and notice he’s already staring. His eyes snap away when you catch him looking at you.

“Let’s just go to bed already” he grumbled, and you agree, both of you laying down.

All you could notice once you’ve both gotten into bed was your close proximity to each other. The pillows didn’t help, not one bit. You could still hear his shallow breaths, still feel some heat radiating off of him. You could still see that damn beanie, and right below it his closed eyes. He looked peaceful when he slept.

‘Stop (Y/N), what are you doing?!’ you think, mentally slapping yourself across the face. This is the boy you hated. The one who picked on you, and said all those mean things. The one who bickered with you over just about anything you did.

So why was your heartbeat not slowing down?

a/n: and there it is, part 2! 

Tagged: @superhero-lover101