#i just don't understand my parents at all

[jellybeanium124]

if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.

trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.

now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.

my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.

and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.

we all feel this.

everyone feels this.

I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.

the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.

I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.

part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.

epigenetics.

[tacthescribbler]

I really don't know how to approach my response, so I apologize for the chaotic mess that you're about to read.

I recall a post that talked about the discovery of a mended bone. One of the first indicators of people working together wasn't pottery, or tools, or cloth. It was a bone that had clearly been broken and reset. A bone that had healed. This means that someone had to not only set the bone, but take care of the injured individual until it was healed.

We are a species who has evolved to work together.

My default state of mind is: Everyone deserves basic human rights. Everyone deserves access to food, shelter, healthcare, and so on. I don't care what color your skin is, what country you hail from, whether you are disabled. You deserve to be cared for.

I engage with everyone from this mindset. I assume everyone who speaks to me also does so from this mindset until/unless they prove me wrong.

Whenever I get into my car, I drive out of consideration for everyone else on the street. When I do my job, I work to ensure that in all the places my job touches someone else's, I've made their job a little easier. I return my shopping carts not for the social karma, but because the employees at the grocery store deserve not to have their jobs made more difficult by laziness. When I vote, I vote for candidates/policies that I know will take care of as many people as possible.

Because the world isn't about me.

"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." - John Holmes

For most of my life, I've struggled to grasp the idea that other people do not (or sometimes cannot) operate from this perspective.

Of course, that was before 2016. I was raised in a heavily-religious Christian home. My older sister was made to throw away a Pokemon toy from her Happy Meal because "Pokemon are not real animals created by God. They are evil." We were not allowed to read the Harry Potter books. (Not a big deal to me; I've never been interested in them. But my sister was.) The one time my introverted self wanted to do something social in high school, it was a D&D game with classmates. "Are you sure you want to engage with witchcraft," my mom asked me. I dropped it and didn't ask again.

It wasn't all bad, though. My parents showed me how to be kind and compassionate, and how to help others.

They voted for trump. And I watched as my parents turned into people I do not recognize.

I'm not sure how to tie all this up into a neat bow. The point is, if we as people (Left or Right) aren't working to improve as many lives as possible, then what's the point?

Do I expect Pacifism from people? No, of course not. I would never expect a person to forgive their rapist, the person who murdered their friend/family, the guy who flipped them off for taking too long to cross the street.

But I would like for people to have some fucking compassion. Give people the benefit of the doubt (where appropriate).

Look, I understand. I've just about had it with people voting to strip me of my bodily autonomy. To kill my non-binary sibling or throw them into conversion therapy. (To be quite honest, I've fucking had it with my parents' transphobic bullshit. "God made you a man and God doesn't make mistakes.") I'm at a point where I'm sick and fucking tired of trying to drag the rest of my nation with me down a path where they are cared for, fed, clothed, sheltered, and accepted for who they are.

And I also get the fact that there are some who cannot be convinced. I'm certain my parents are among them. After all, they have their bible. They don't have to think critically. Their holy book tells them what to think. It's part of why conversations with them are so unproductive. Because they don't introspect or regulate emotions when they have scripture to tell them how to respond to a thing.

But I've still also not called my parents to chew them out, because I know that won't help anything. It'll only further the divide that they don't even realize is between us. How will I convince them to stand with me if all they get from me is aggression.

Whether you're Left or Right, if your first instinct about someone is to treat them as an enemy, you are part of the problem. We move forward by being accepting and open-minded. For those of us who lean Left, that goes fucking double.

Don't be a pushover, but don't be a bully.

We can only move forward together.

There are obviously caveats to what I've said, as well as plenty I've left unsaid. I hope those who read this will take it in good faith and understand that I'm not asking for everyone to just drop their grievances or pretend that shit isn't bad. I just wanted to share a little of my perspective. We're all human beings and I think common ground can start there, if we let it.

I hope we can overcome ourselves and be better.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[drunkinyourbenz]

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

☆ SYNOPSIS: your parents' excitment about the election results left you with a pit of dread in your stomach. luckliy for you, you had billie, who helped you through it all.

☆ RELATIONSHIP: billie eilish x fem!reader

☆ WARNINGS: angst, comfort, politics, right wing family, implied homophobic family, long distance relationship (during tour)

☆ REQUESTED? yes, anon

☆ NOTE: hi my loves, i saw this request and just had to write it right away (literally wrote it in half an hour lmao) for anyone needing comfort as well as the anon who requested this, i hope you're doing okay. i'm not from america, but i'm also deeply dissapointed about the election results, and i feel for all of you who are there. i hope i did this request justice, i don't have a family who's like super against my views so i hope this is okay <3 anyone with family celebrating like the readers is in this story, please imagine me giving you the biggest hug rn, i hope you're coping okay. my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything at all, i love you all, please stay safe <33

☆ WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

you and billie had been dating for a while now, and she made you happier than anyone ever had before. she was your other half, and without her you would feel incomplete. you weren’t on tour with her, much to both of your disappointments. but you’d had personal things that took up your time at the start of tour, so the plan was that you’d join her once she came on tour to your city, and you’d join her for the rest of tour. despite not being on tour with her, your mind always drifted back to her, she had a permanent residence in your heart. 

so naturally, on election night, you sat in your room thinking about her. you wanted nothing more than to be held by her in this moment, you’d slipped away from dinner as soon as you could, but you could still hear your family’s excited chatter coming from downstairs. the fact that they were happy about the way it was going, the way they wanted a future that was so drastically different from the one you had in your mind… it stung. your parents genuinely wanted a future that you weren’t sure whether you had a place in, and you didn’t really know what to do with that information.

you were trying to stay off social media, to stay away from the news, because you knew it wouldn’t help you—you couldn’t change a thing. but every few minutes, you’d end up switching back to the tab on your laptop with the live updates, feeling a sense of dread settling in your stomach. you couldn’t quite comprehend how so many more people had voted for him, the man who made you genuinely fear for your future. 

so finally, you texted billie. you needed her comfort, even though it would just be her voice over a call. you needed her. 

can i call you??

billie replied not long after, her text simple. 

bils: ofc baby

her contact calling you came up on your screen before you could even move to call her, and you automatically accepted the face time. her face popped up on your phone after a moment, and as well as the tiredness from tour you’d been seeing so much of lately, she looked just as crestfallen as you. the two of you shared the same opinions on this, and you knew how much billie cared about it. 

just as the call loaded properly, you heard a loud cheer from downstairs, and you couldn’t stop the grimace that appeared on your face. billie’s lips curved down in a soft, sympathetic frown, “oh, baby.” 

a sigh left your lips, the sound somewhat defeated, “i just… i don’t know how they want that. it feels like they want a future that i’m not safe in–” billie cut you off with an understanding sigh, she knew that if she let you keep talking, you’d simply spiral. she knew what you meant, you felt a rift between you and your parents, you felt unsure of what that meant for your relationship with them. billie herself had never experienced it, with her own family being supportive and sharing her views, but she had always been good at comforting you. 

“i’m so sorry, baby. you know that me and my family have always got you, no matter what, yeah? we’ve got your back, we’re always here for you. all of us.” 

your lips curled into a soft pout, her words lessening the sadness you were feeling. “i love your family.”

she smiled softly at you, “and we love you. always.” 

you cracked a small smile at her words, the disappointment behind your eyes still very much evident, but you felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the people in your life. even if your blood-related family didn’t understand, you had your chosen family. that small fact that you had your people, who agreed with you on these things, it helped to soften the blow of your parents wanting the country to go down such a different path than you did. only slightly, but it helped. you felt the pain dull slightly. 

the two of you stayed on the phone for a while, billie distracting you from your parents downstairs by telling you about the tour so far. obviously, she was also upset about everything going on, but she knew you needed this support and that was more important than talking about it. she just wanted you to feel okay. you could feel the emotions hanging around both of you even through the phone, but you appreciated that she wasn’t mentioning them right now. you’d have plenty of time to talk about the election later, once you didn’t feel so despairing about the future. 

after about half an hour of the two of you just talking, you decided to ask her something. 

“bils?” 

“hmm?” she hummed, looking up as if she could sense the importance of what you were about to say even through one word. 

“do you… do you think i could join you on tour a bit earlier than planned? i just don’t know if i can stay in this house for any longer, it’s just–”

“of course.” 

her instant, firm reply cut off your rambling and you sighed in relief, “thank you–”

“don’t thank me, darling. i just want you to feel safe.” she paused, thinking, “you could join us on the minnesota dates, if you want. there’s two days there, so it gives you more time to get here. i can book you a flight–” 

you smiled at her considerate words, the way she was taking everything into account. oh, how you loved her. “that sounds perfect. and don’t book first class this time, jesus. i can put up with an economy flight, i’m used to them. plus,  i get to see you at the end of it.” 

she smiled warmly, “mm, you do. and then i’m wrapping you up in a massive hug and never letting you go, because i love you.” 

you giggled softly at her words, “i think i’m looking forward to seeing maggie more, actually.” 

billie rolled her eyes fondly, her mother just adored you. “i don’t blame you.” 

the two of you talked into the night, and were still on the call when you woke up. you weren’t aware that you’d fallen asleep, and you probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her soothing voice.

it was now the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains you’d forgotten to shut. the house had gone silent by now, your parents finally asleep, and you felt a tiny bit of peace just laying there in the silence. you looked at the screen for a moment, simply admiring her pretty sleeping face, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly and her chest rose and fell with each breath. this time in a few days, you’d be in her arms again. 

you let out a soft sigh. the country may be falling apart by the seams, but you had billie. you had her, so you’d be okay. 

[crustyfloor]

lowkey becoming a Till hater after this. I hte that guy (Regretted writing this 2 seconds later)

It was established earlier in the series that some of the cast do have parents, some know their parents or remember their face, some don't, I feel like it was important to us to know this fact about Till, because this comic answers more questions about him than I had thought, such as where his sense of humanity originates from entirely.

Starting the comic off with "Lo has always wondered ever since the creation was born whether or not providers also felt the same emotions that they were feeling towards the creation" shows more about the environment of Alien stage than I initially thought, Lo seems to love Till more than any "parental figure" I've seen in alien stage, its real, its affectionate, but Alien stage is so dystopian and detached from our society that Humans have no real solid attachment to morality, social code, etc. Aliens could never relate to humans either, so how can they enforce what they don't understand? This leaves Humans to figure it out on their own because no matter what, they'll still be human and feel inexplicable emotions. Love is one of these major emotions that get confused. and loving someone is normal, but I can imagine "Providers" can't afford to be as attached to their "Creations" as Lo was, they couldn't help forming a special bond with Till. But I love that it's immediately established that Lo loved Till as much as they could, and he wasn't brought into the world without care and familial love.

And it's also made clear that Till's passion for art and music was apparent from the jump.. even as a child, he composed his own song and sang it to his mother, he started showing skill and talent at a young age, he was as much of a prodigy as he's always been said to have been, but Lo's expression upon realizing that is so unmistakably afraid. Lo knew more than anyone in that situation how risky it would be letting Till go on because singing, they were more than familiar with the environment of Alien stage, the elaborate display of talent and entertainment on the big screens, the inauthentic excitement of the performers, Till was almost just like them, and Lo knew that Alien stage was where innocent children like him go to be chewed and spat out by Segyein until they had their fill and moved on to the next talent, Lo feared that fate all the same, humans like them didn't have the right to just sing when they want however loud they want, their voices didn't belong to them. Not anymore, but Till had made it into something of his own, he was too naive to know the truth.

They knew the risk, as a survivor, Lo knew what life, what horrors Till would be subjected to if this was ever found out by the aliens who would only use it to hurt and market him, to put him through a grueling cycle of pain until he too met his end on that stage. Lo's ear notch is a nod to their experience, and they were completely right. But as a mother, they didn't even want to take that innocence away from Till, not when his eyes sparked so brightly and pitifully.

In relationships like these in Alien stage, I always see that there is a choice to make between breaking making reality clear or reveling in obliviousness, it happens with Ivan and Sua, Sua and Mizi, Till and Mizi, etc etc. Something has to give and take.

Sua's sister is my favorite example of this kind of exchange, she told Sua bluntly that she would be doomed on that stage as she is now, that she was pitiful, if only to ensure her safety in some twisted, caring way, it effected Sua a lot as a child, living with such deep seated trauma caused Sua to develop an obsession with safety and security based on the fear her sister instilled in her so deeply, to find that warmth in Mizi, Sua was content living in delusion until she had to face it, continuing the cycle.

Lo made the decision to let Till remain oblivious, they, too, found comfort in such childish carefreeness. Like they had hope, they let Till keep singing despite their unease. They cared so deeply about Till enough to prioritize him being himself rather than making him suppress his spirit. The darkness that shadows over Lo's perspective in contrast to the light that makes Till's shines behind Till shows the difference between living in fear--delusion and living freely, oblivious.

The cruelty of their situation was overshadowed by love for a moment, Lo's one wish for their son-- that he would grow up knowing what it's like to love and be loved and chase after the feeling--if only in his heart he would remember how much they tried to show him that love and actively seek it after they're gone, or give it to someone else. They wanted to teach him to be himself through encouraging his love for music.

I don't believe they failed at all. Till was fully aware of how much he meant to his mother, it was so obvious. He loved making them proud, and making them smile and sing with him every time he tried to replicate those 'good cries', Till loved Lo back equally, and as he grew up he never stopped loving.

One thing about Lo's wish was that they hoped Till would never grow up alone. Till's separation from his mother must have had more of an impact on him than we could ever realize from his perspective, even if we never hear about it again, even if he's forgotten about it, suppressed it, it's a trauma that has deeply plagued his subconscious. He lives with that wariness for the rest of his life.

It was Till's fear that stemmed from the pain and regret of losing his mother that caused him to avoid attachments, emotionally suppressing himself, and he keeps his heart behind restrictive chains because he can never let that vulnerability be used against him again, it explains a lot about his relationship with his friends, how he percieves his own relationship with them after going so long not addressing his feelings. He craves connections but fear, and being in the middle of confusion makes him freeze in place and run back to old habits. Jumping to feelings he can easily rationalize, hatred, anger--or avoiding conflict all together.

Even after Lo and Till were separated, Till did not grow up without love, or without the feeling of loving, even though he was alone in his own self-made bubble distanced from his peers, there is a difference between isolation and loneliness, in his case, he remained distant even with his closest friends, or the girl he loved more than anything, as a way to protect himself. But he was never left alone with 4nakt beside him.

When Till can only realize he's loved when he can recognize it and see it for himself, thats what makes the comic being focused on the whole group rather than just Mizi or Ivan interesting, and telling about his character. It drives home the fact that Till was also a little kid who craved connection just like the others, he expects to be left to himself, and his friends seek him out naturally. He valued and loved all of his friends. rather than a specific person like Sua focuses on Mizi and Ivan focuses on Till this shows that everyone who stayed with Till had an importance to him

(Even Sua looks somewhat fond...)

Till grew up knowing what it was like to be cared about and loved it, sought it out, and inherited that touch from his caretaker, What Till gained from his relationship with his mother shows in the way he treats Mizi, Ivan, even Sua. Mizi's kindness and care were a familiarity, something that instantly attracted him to her, it likely reminded him of his mother in a way and he subtly sought out her attention for that very feeling of love and feeling cared for.

With Ivan, he couldn't help caring about him in little ways, it was only natural, if only because it was part of Till's nature to nurture, letting Ivan be himself around him as a parallel to the way his mother encouraged him to be loud about his interests. And Sua, even if they weren't close at all, Sua was an acquaintance to him, hell even the way he treats a little broken flower with just as much compassion shows us how much Lo impacted Till's growth

To the Segyein, Humans are nothing more than a product, to those who disobey, they are punished, to those who comply, living to sing on stage and feed the aliens is their "prize" for living through it all. Their separation was something Lo saw as a their punishment for having their own little rebellion in making music for themselves, loving it, making it into something the aliens couldn't use against them, it was their own little fun, and they could do it freely. It was an inevitable consequence that they could have prevented as Till's caretaker

In the end, Lo probably never lived to see her son grow up, but they prayed for Till's pursuit of happiness. The traces of them, the evidence of their care that they tried to deeply thread into Till's person stayed with him forever, exactly what kind of trace Lo had left on him...they taught him how to love and be loved, they let him love art, they showed him what living freely with no restraints was like, that's the kind of life he fights for even after he's trapped in this system. her impact keeps him kind-hearted and fighting. It keeps him human despite all of the pain he was burdened with as he grows up

And even when his art is his pain, the creation of art and music reminds him of why he lives, what he lives for, it gives him a vague sense of hope even if for a moment, it brings him that same joy he had when he was a child

"Exactly what kind of trace"

The traces you leave behind is what's important to a human, every human is born to die, what matters most is how you live your life, what impact and memory you leave behind, I love Lo's character, even if we have little context around her background, because she knew that fact and wanted nothing more than to leave a meaningful impact on Till, if they were to one day die they wanted to leave him with a trace of them, a message he would never let go of. and that sentiment became deeply intertwined in his being. Till's emotions, his love, makes him the character he is.

The title of the comic expresses this too. "evidence" or "traces"--this comic is evidence of Lo's impact, evidence that Till was loved and knew how to love in return, Till had relationships. His entire existence was the product of love, it's evidence that he was alive and had humanity, that's what makes this comic even more tragic. It's evidence that he was human at all when we can forget that in the midst of the chaos of all of their lives. Innocence where the aliens don't bother to acknowledge. Till isn't a weapon, or a product. And this perspective of him through his mother's eyes reflects that.

The humanity that he holds within himself even after losing family connects him to more people who prove to care for him as deeply as he cares for them. Till was lonely but never alone with the love he had around him, they always come back, the relationships around him that his mother wished he would have so that he would never sink into a lonely abyss, only a boy and his song, and on that wall is a drawing that draws a picture of a life he's always wanted, a real heavenly garden with real trees and a real sky, and the drawing includes the four of them together, because he had always envisioned a life worth living, free, with all of his friends by his side.

The translation is done by @/WhatfaFruit

[hippiegoth97]

I Wanna Be Your Lover: Eddie Munson x Reader

Collage by me :)

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Description: You, Eddie, and the rest of the Hellfire Club go on a camping trip in the summer. You've been in said club for years, and harbor strong feelings for your handsome leader. You want him to like you back, especially now that you're 18 and have finished school. Will Eddie reciprocate these feelings? Or are you just 'one of the guys' to him?

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: smut, female reader, smoking, mentions of vomit, alcohol use, teasing, grinding, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, praise, light degradation, semi-public sex, talk of sexual history, dirty talk

Word Count: 22.7k

divider by @firefly-graphics

I Wanna Be Your Lover

"Will you guys stop fighting please? I don't wanna get lost." Eddie calls to the back of the van, where Dustin and Erica are arguing over which horse from My Little Pony is best. Erica claims it's Applejack, whereas Dustin insists it's Bubbles. You can't help finding their little squabble entertaining, Dustin doesn't seem the type to enjoy such a childish show.

"Yeah, I'm trying to help navigate here." You chime in through a giggle, a large map from the last rest stop splayed out on your lap in the passenger seat. You agreed to assist Eddie in finding the campsite on your little trip, one you've all been planning since a little bit before graduation. A trip exclusively for Hellfire Club members.

You've been in the club since your sophomore year at Hawkins High. Eddie picked you out as a little lost sheep stranded in a sea of ruthless tigers. You were apprehensive to join at first, especially given Eddie's rather forward nature. You'd heard of Dungeons and Dragons before, it even sounded a little intriguing. But your parents thought things like that were a gateway into dangerous behavior and sexual deviance. Eddie insisted on your membership, however, going so far as to say he could see how lonely and sad you were. You didn't take offense, it was certainly true. You've never been one to have a lot of friends, if any at all.

Eddie took you under his wing, making his first attempt at senior year at the time. He showed you the ropes, and helped you build your first character. But he made it clear that he had no intention of taking it easy on you, and you wouldn't have expected it. Your first game didn't go super well, the dice and turns were confusing for you and you died pretty quickly. But no one in the group made you feel bad about it, especially not Eddie. He gave a sympathetic smile after the campaign concluded, telling you your skills will improve over time. You appreciated his patience, as the next few games afterwards slowly got easier to understand.

By the time you'd entered your final year of school, you became Eddie's second in command. You're a certified master in the game now, skillfully thinking quick on your feet and giving your DM a run for his money. Your fearless leader is notorious for making the campaigns as sadistic as humanly possible. But you never relent, and you never give up. Gathering with this band of misfits is ultimately one of the best things you've ever had in life. The feeling of holding your own and even occasionally winning is borderline euphoric.

"Turn left up here, Eds. Just twenty more miles until we reach the campground, guys!" You announce, gaining cheers from everyone sandwiched into the back of the van. Erica, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, Jeff, Gareth, and Alex have been stuffed uncomfortably together for the last six hours. A pile of coolers, tents, and duffle bags are shoved into the corner of their seating area, threatening to topple over with one ill-timed bump in the road. The stereo quietly plays one of Eddie's many mixtapes, and all you can see out the windows is a large expanse of lush green trees on either side of the gravel road you're riding along. The sky is bright and blue overhead, and it's a cool ninety-seven degrees on this July morning as the sun beats down on the world.

"Thank fuck, we're boiling back here!" Jeff complains, wiping sweat from his brow. It definitely hasn't been an easy ride, as the van's A/C is nonexistent. You've told Eddie many times to take it in to get it fixed, but he swears up and down that it's fine.

"I can always stop and let you all walk the rest of the way." Eddie warns teasingly, a smart smile playing about his face.

"NO!" Everyone shouts, knowing that walking in this heat would be even worse.

"Good. Then shut the hell up!" Eddie barks, he's finding himself feeling rather peeved today. The heat, and the long drive, along with everyone bitching is really getting on his nerves. "You mind lighting a smoke for me, Y/N?" He asks, glancing at you. His voice has calmed at seeing your pretty face, which makes you smile beyond your control. You've always had a crush on Eddie, finding him sweet and charming. Well, most of the time. You'd never tell him though, you don't think he likes you like that. He treats you like one of the guys. You don't mind it, but you can't help wishing for him to see you as the blossoming young woman you are. You're all done with school now, and well into your eighteenth year of existence. But he hasn't seemed to notice, or at least he acts like he doesn't.

"Sure thing." You reply, trying not to blush at his big brown eyes staying on you a little longer than usual. You reach for the pack, slipping one of the paper tubes from it. "You mind if I have one too?" You ask without even thinking about it. Eddie's eyes widen at your question. You're not one to smoke, or drink, or do much of anything like that at all. Hell, you blush redder than a tomato at the tame side of his dirty jokes.

"Since when do you smoke?" He inquires with a raised eyebrow, wondering what's up with you.

"I dunno, figured I'd try it. You seem to enjoy it." You say sheepishly, looking away. You feel dumb for even asking now.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Okay, jeez. Knock yourself out, princess. Just don't waste it, alright?" Concern blooms inside his head, he'll try to figure out what your deal is later.

"Okay. I won't." You pull another cig from the box, putting it in your mouth. You give Eddie his, placing it between his plush lips. You flick the lighter, reaching it over to light his tip, and then bringing the flame to your own. You inhale, a little too deeply. The smoke is bitter and cloying, making you cough.

"Jesus, you alright?" Eddie asks, bringing a hand to pat your back gently. The touch of his calloused fingers through your tank top makes you stiffen, and you feel even hotter than before.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You gasp out the words, annoyed at yourself for being so stupid. You calm down after a minute, shooing away the worried faces on the kids packed in the backseat. You take another drag like nothing happened, ignoring the sudden urge to cry in embarrassment. You inhale and exhale just fine the second time around, although you don't enjoy the taste very much. But you want Eddie to see you're all grown up now, ripe for the taking. All he has to do is reach out and pluck you.

"'Kay, just take it easy. Can't have my right hand girl dyin' on me, right?" He chuckles, shaking his head. He's confused as to why you're acting like this, suddenly so eager to prove your maturity to him. Sure, he knows you're grown up now. Transforming from the little lost lamb he found in the cafeteria, into a beautiful gazelle frolicking enthusiastically into adulthood. He's been attracted to you for quite some time, you're the girl of his dreams. But he's worried that you're not ready for him, that maybe you're still too green. Age isn't the issue for him, you're eighteen now and you're both done with school. Although, your perceived lack of experience makes him wonder if he'd somehow be taking advantage in pursuing you.

"Right." You say shortly, returning your attention to the map as you continue to smoke. You can feel his eyes sweeping to you every so often, but you avoid his gaze. You flick the ash when it threatens to fall and burn a hole through the thin paper below, looking for the next indication of when Eddie should turn.

Thirty minutes and a few more turns later, and you've finally made it to Piney Ridge Campground and Nature Reserve. Eddie pulls the van up to the kiosk at the entrance. The park ranger inside asks for the confirmation of your reservation, and hands Eddie a pamphlet with a map that shows your spot, along with trails to the lake, supply shop, bathrooms/shower shack, and hiking areas. He hands it off to you, pulling away from the gruff man in the kiosk after listening to his spiel about not leaving food out as the wildlife will surely steal it.

You open the pamphlet, directing Eddie down the path to find your designated campsite, number 106. The space is quite large, perfect for your group. There's a weather-beaten picnic table and ashy fire pit included in the area, with plenty of shade from the large trees outstretching overhead. Eddie pulls into the parking space beside the site, killing the engine. "Alright, here it is. Our home sweet home for the next three days." He grins, glancing at you again as you struggle to fold up all the papers in your lap.

"Hell yeah!" Mike cheers, opening the back doors to let everyone hop out and start setting up tents. The sleeping arrangements are pretty simple. You and Erica will share a smaller tent since you're the only girls. Then there's Mike, Dustin, and Lucas in another. And the final one will house Alex, Jeff, and Gareth. Eddie insists on staying in his van, as he hates sleeping on the ground. You find this a bit silly, since this trip was initially his idea. But you don't find any reason to argue, he usually wins anyway.

Everyone pitches in with setting up the tents and rolling out the sleeping bags, getting everything ready for your first night out in the wilderness. You're all sweaty by the end of it, sitting around and panting lazily in the humid air around 1pm. "Who's hungry for lunch?" You ask, going back into the van to retrieve the cooler containing the sandwich supplies. Ham, American cheese, turkey, mayo, mustard, and Wonder Bread from the bag of dry goods. You set to work making everyone's plates, planning on serving up the sandwiches with potato chips and canned soda.

"Ya know, you don't have to baby us, Y/N. We're perfectly capable of feeding ourselves." Eddie says, sitting next to you with his feet facing outward from the table. You're spreading mayo on Dustin's ham and cheese, letting your eyes meet Eddie's for the first time in a good while.

You smile kindly. "I know, but I don't mind it. You're all my boys, and girl." You say, nudging your head at Erica. "I like taking care of you guys." You speak sweetly, you cherish the connection you have with your friends. You had wanted a group to call your own for so long, and now you have the best one you could ever ask for.

"Whatever you say, princess." Eddie chuckles, looking you up and down. You suddenly feel self-conscious in your tank top and shorts, exposed under his curious examination. You take a chance of your own to drink in his appearance. He's in rare form today, wearing cut-off jean shorts and a cropped Metallica muscle tee. His hair is tied up, keeping it out of his face in the dreadful heat. He looks really good like this, showing off his tattoos and lightly toned arms and stomach. He winks when he catches you staring a little too long, making your cheeks flare beet red.

You return your attention to the sandwich, realizing you've been putting on a borderline pile of mayonnaise on it. "Shit." You mutter, cursing your spaced-out spell.

"Need some help?" Eddie asks, extending a hand for a knife to assist you in spreading condiments on the bread. You nod apprehensively, glancing around to see everyone else preoccupied with other activities to notice your interaction. Most are relaxing in their tents, poking their heads out to talk to one another, and Erica is reading a book on the other side of the bench. You hand Eddie a plastic knife, and he turns around in his seat to be level with you. "You doin' alright today? You've been acting weird since the drive over here." He almost mumbles, making you think you imagined it at first. But when you turn to look at his face, he's expectantly waiting for an answer.

You swallow hard, realizing his shoulder is just barely brushing against your own. "Um...yeah. It's just my first trip away from home without my family, that's all." You lie, pushing away the idea that the handsome young man beside you is the reason for your change in behavior.

"Oh, okay. You're not gonna get homesick on me, are ya?" He asks, giving you a playful nudge. You giggle at the tickle of his elbow against your ribs.

"No, I'm not." You shake your head. You want to loosen up, to not be so goddamn stiff. You'll only give yourself away.

"Good, because I really want you to enjoy yourself." He replies, leaning closer to say the words into your ear. His breath fanning over you sends a chill up your spine, making you shiver outside of your control. He half-laughs at your reaction, finding it absolutely adorable. Shit, this trip is gonna be interesting to say the least. You're about to ask what he means, when you realize the food is ready. He moves away from you without another word, taking the plates to dish them out to everyone. "Eat up, shitheads! I wanna get a good hike in today."

Everyone gathers round, sitting at the table or in fold-up chairs you brought while you munch down your pre-hike fuel. The group keeps up light conversation, cracking jokes and busting each others' balls as usual. Eddie has another cigarette, gesturing the box at you from across the makeshift circle you've formed. You nod, and he approaches you. You clumsily pull a cig from the pack, almost missing as you try to put it in your mouth. He flicks the lighter, bending down real close to start the burn on the end. His large eyes bore into yours, and time stands still for a second before he backs away again. "Thanks." You say simply, and he just nods.

You take a deep, long drag, savoring how light and fuzzy your head feels as the nicotine works its way through your body. You exhale, barely holding back a satisfied moan. You're starting to like smoking now, and the taste isn't bothering you as much this time. "Taking a liking to it, I see." Eddie says, bringing everyone's attention to you. You sense he's testing you, trying to get you to fold under pressure. But for what purpose?

"I guess." You shrug nonchalantly, bringing the filtered end to your lips again. Act natural, you tell yourself. It's best to hold one's own and ride it out when it comes to Eddie finding reason to 'challenge' someone. Everyone else watches closely, always eager to see where something like this goes.

"Looks like our girl is all grown up then." He says, exhaling a large puff of white into the air.

"You could say that. What's it to you, anyway?" You retort defensively, crossing your arms. He's really puzzling you today. Earlier it seemed like he was flirting with you, and now he's acting like nothing happened.

He grins, and you see now that he's got you right where he wants you. "Well, last I checked you used to lecture me about how smoking kills, Y/N. That my lungs will turn black and I'll end up with a hole in my throat." He gestures dramatically at his chest and neck as he speaks, working his way back over to you with every word. The other members snicker at his display. "And now you're picking up the habit yourself? It must not be so bad if you're gonna go back on your own principles. So which is it, Y/N? Are you a liar, or a hypocrite?" He asks snarkily, standing just beside the table now as he looks down at you.

You don't say anything for a moment. Your mouth opens and closes as you think of what to come back at him with. You sense the others staring, waiting for you to accept defeat. But you know better than to yield so easily. "Neither. I've just changed my mind on the subject. People are capable of maturing, Eds. Not that you'd know anything about it." You reply with a smirk, continuing to enjoy your cigarette. You blow a cloud of smoke up into his face to emphasize your point. The others laugh at your comment, which would usually earn them a glare from Eddie. But not this time, he's too busy admiring the mischievous sparkle in your eyes.

"If you say so, sweetheart." He smiles in reply, telepathically congratulating you on standing your ground. Eddie sure likes to tease, but he means it all in good fun. Most of the time. Everyone gathers up the trash and puts the food back in the coolers, changing shoes to set off on your journey. "So, is everyone ready?" He asks, bestowing Dustin with a backpack to carry the supplies your group might need on the hike. Sunscreen, trail mix, bug spray, bottled water, and so on.

"And why do I have to carry this?" Dustin asks, annoyed at being stuck with the weight to carry.

"Because I said so, dingus. And I trust you not to lose it, unlike these knuckleheads." Eddie explains, gesturing at the others. You don't take offense to this comment, you know he's not talking about you. And you sure as shit don't wanna carry all that stuff.

"Fine, it's not like I'm missing collarbones or anything." Dustin replies snarkily, slinging the bag on his shoulders.

"Alright, everyone. We're gonna have Jeff and Gareth leading the charge with the map, then Alex and Mike, Dustin in the middle with the pack, Erica and Lucas, and then me and Y/N in back to make sure nobody is left behind. Sound good?" Eddie speaks decisively to the group, and you can't help being mesmerized by his leadership. He's such a natural at it, so sure of himself with every word. Everyone nods in agreement to the arrangement, lining up in the assigned pairs with Dustin in the center. "Cool! Let's go!" He claps his hands together, and Jeff and Gareth begin to walk down the set path to find the hiking trail. The line spreads out a little, giving allowance for anyone wanting to speed up or slow down periodically throughout your adventure.

"I never took you for such an outdoorsman, Eds." You say to Eddie with a giggle as you walk beside him. The others are pretty quiet, focused on taking in the lush surroundings and not getting lost.

"Oh, well, ya know...it was something Wayne and I used to do a lot. It's pretty cheap, and you can just get away from everything for a while." He speaks cheerily of those fond memories, but you can sense a slight tinge of sadness there too.

"You don't camp with him anymore?" You ask, always curious to know more about this young man you're hopelessly crushing on.

He shakes his head. "Nah, he's always too busy now. And I guess I am too, working at the hardware store and shit. I consider myself lucky to have gotten these couple days off. So I wanna make the most of it." He fixes his smile, trying not to bum you out.

"I'll make damn sure we do, then!" You exclaim, leaning over to brush his shoulder with yours. "I wish your uncle could've come with, though. I bet he's got some good campfire stories." You're really enjoying this conversation, it's not often that Eddie talks about his home life. You think he probably hides it so people don't feel sorry for him, so you're gonna do everything in your power to not give him that impression.

"You bet your ass he does. I know them all by heart, actually. I can tell a few tonight if you want." He offers, looking at you with kind eyes. He really appreciates you being so sweet to him. He's not one to trust others with personal information so easily. But you're different, special. He feels like he can tell you anything. And not only do you refrain from judging him, you make him feel like everything is fine, normal. He's never had a whole lot of that in his life, so your presence is certainly a welcome one.

"I'd love that! He can be with us in spirit, I imagine he'd appreciate it." You reply, stopping for a moment to admire some purple wildflowers on the side of the trail. You crouch beside them, gazing at their lush petals and stalk-like stems that house multiple blossoms at once. They're quite breathtaking, though you're not sure what kind they are. Eddie joins you, checking to make sure you won't fall behind the rest of the group. Satisfied with his findings, he reaches into the little clump of flowers, picking the very best one from the largest stalk. You turn to look at him, and he's much closer than you originally thought. Your heartbeat picks up slightly, wondering what he's up to. He brings the hand holding the flower towards your temple, tucking the tiny nub of stem in your hair so the blossom is displayed beside your face. He smiles at how cute you look, eyes flicking to your lips.

"A pretty flower, for a beautiful girl." He says quietly, letting his outstretched hand rest on your cheek. You're frozen in place, unable to stop staring into those huge doe eyes of his. You swear he's just about to lean in and kiss you, when-

"Hey guys! Mike found a family of toads! Come check it out!" Lucas calls to you, interrupting your romantic(?) moment. Eddie's hand falls from your face, causing your heart to fracture like a smashed mirror. He stands up, and you follow. You both pretend nothing happened here, jogging to catch up with the others. You see them huddled around Mike holding up a large rock. Thick mud and dead leaves stick to the bottom of it, and in the moist gap left behind is a plump mama toad, with five little baby toads sitting on and around her.

"Aw, they're so cute!" You coo. Your heart mends a little the wholesome display of wonder on all the club members' faces.

"Where'd you get the flower?" Erica asks as the others take turns naming the little amphibians.

You meet her gaze, and you can tell she knows something's up. You look at Eddie a moment, seeing him preoccupied with assisting the boys in their little game. "Oh, um...I found some on the trail. I just thought it was pretty." You say unconvincingly, unable to hold back the blush darkening your cheeks.

"Mmhmm, sure." Is all she says in reply. She knows damn well that Eddie put that flower in your hair, but she can tell you don't want to talk to an eleven-year-old child about it. The blatantly obvious attraction between you and Eddie has been a very hot topic as of late with the other members. You're not exactly subtle, exchanging longing glances and getting extra touchy with each other. They honestly wish you two would just hook up already and stop dancing around your feelings. It's almost painful to watch you ping-pong off one another when you could just be on the same damn team.

"Alright, guys. Let's keep it moving. Princess Snugglebutt and her legion of offspring have better things to do than be gawked at by a bunch of nerds." Eddie interjects, wanting to finish the hike and make it back to camp before it gets too late. Everyone falls in line once again, and you can't help curtsying at the mother toad as you walk by. She is royalty, after all.

"'Princess Snugglebutt', huh?" You ask, finding the name quite silly.

"They insisted on naming her that, and it's kinda cute." He chuckles, eyes flicking to you. He brightens a smidge when he sees the flower still in your hair where he left it. He was worried the interruption might have spoiled the moment for you. "Jesus, and I wonder why I didn't get laid more in high school!" He jokes, making both of you laugh heartily.

"Oh, please! You know you're hot, you can have anyone you want." You say without thinking, the realization of your actual words hitting you a second later.

Eddie's eyes widen, and he scoffs in disbelief. "Hot, you say? Good to know." He teases, his cheeks turning pink at you calling him that.

You splutter, trying to come up with a way to cover your tracks. "I just mean- in a general sense. It doesn't take a genius to know you're attractive. Not that I find you-" You're babbling, which is definitely not helping your case.

"Y/N, relax." He cuts in, sweeping a hand against your arm to calm you down. Your breath catches at the contact, and you swallow hard as your throat dries up. "You're hot too, by the way. Ya know, in a general sense." He parrots your words back to you, nice and low into your ear. You're really starting to like it when he does that, perhaps a little too much. It takes everything in you to hold back a desperate little noise at him being so fucking attractive right now. You're not sure what it would be. A whimper? A moan? An equally undignified sound that would no doubt be just as embarrassing? Either way, you choke it back down to save face. "You good?" He asks, noticing you've clammed up at his flirting.

"Yeah, I just need some water." You reply, excusing yourself to catch up with Dustin to retrieve a bottle. You feel your lungs refill with the amount of air required to breathe as you distance yourself from the sexy metalhead.

"Hey, Y/N. Everything good back there?" Dustin asks as you sidle up to him.

"Yeah, just need some water if you don't mind." You unzip the backpack, locating a bottle as you both continue to walk.

"Where'd you get the flower?" This again? You're getting a little tired of the third degree you've been subjected to today.

"I saw a little cluster of them on the trail and thought they were pretty. Purple is my favorite." You say, hoping he buys it. He inspects it curiously, before speaking again.

"Well, it's very nice. It looks like a...Gladiolus. It symbolizes the confession of love to a friend. It's also said to motivate one to pursue their desires." He says matter-of-factly. You wonder if Eddie knows this, though you doubt he's the type to care about flowers and their potential meaning. It would be a nice coincidence, though.

"Since when are you the encyclopedia on flora and fauna?" You tease, opening your water to take a sip.

"It's one of my many interests, Y/N. And my mom likes to garden during the warm months, so a lot of it comes from her." He says with a sunshiny smile.

"That's so sweet! Well, I'm gonna get back to my spot." You turn to leave, giving Dustin a gentle noogie.

"Sure thing, Y/N." He calls as you jog back with your bottle in hand.

"Better?" Eddie asks as you rejoin him at the back of the pack.

"Much." You say with a small smile.

"Mind if I have some, sweetheart? The heat's killin' me."

"Oh, sure!" You hand the bottle over, and he takes a long drink from it. You can't help staring as a small drip of water rolls down the side of his mouth to his chin. You're oddly tempted to lean over and lick it off, biting your lip to hold yourself back. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and he lets out a satisfied sound as the liquid cools him down from the inside out.

"Thanks, princess." Eddie hands back the bottle, only half full now. You don't mind, there's plenty more. You were distracted by watching his lips and throat move in a strangely beautiful way anyways. You take another sip yourself, finding your mouth has lost all moisture once again.

The remainder of the hike is pretty uneventful. Eddie collects a few rocks, and you keep the conversation casual. The others do similar things, pointing out birds and squirrels. The trail takes you in a large circle, eventually leading back to the main road. You plop down at the picnic table with a long sigh once you return to the campsite. "My feet have officially died." You say dramatically, laying your head on the tabletop.

"I second that." Gareth says, opting to flop onto the grass. The others grumble and whine in agreement, falling into chairs and on the ground in defeat.

"Aw, come on. Don't be a buncha babies. We had fun, didn't we?" Eddie asks, sitting next to you. He's been hanging around you a lot today. It's not necessarily weird, but given the little moment with the flowers earlier, his continued presence in your space feels significant.

"Of course, Eds. But we're also exhausted. I don't know why you're not, though. You truly are a freak of nature." You joke, groaning as you reach down to take your shoes off.

He scoffs, pulling out his cigarettes again. "What can I say? Nature feeds my soul. I'd live out here if I could."

"That's odd. I thought you said you didn't have a soul!" Mike retorts, drawing a laugh from everyone else.

"Whatever." Eddie huffs, lighting his cig grumpily. He sets the pack and his lighter on the table, which you snatch up once your bare feet touch the cool grass beneath the bench. "Hey!" He tries to get them back from you, but you don't let him.

"Relax, I'll buy a whole damn carton for you on the way home." You take another smoke for yourself, igniting the end like it's nothing. You put his belongings back on the table, letting him slip them into his pockets.

"I'll make sure to hold you to that." Eddie replies as he takes a long drag. He scoots a little closer down the splintered seat, further invading your personal space. His knee sits against yours, making your skin tingle at the contact. He skims his eyes over your face, smirking at the little purple flower still sitting above your ear. "You really like it?" He asks, pointing to it. You reach up in that direction, fingertips brushing over the soft petals.

"Oh, yeah! Purple's my favorite." You blush as you speak, his continued gaze always throws you off. It makes you talk like a foolish child.

"I know, Y/N. I'd hope you wouldn't think I've known you for three years and not learned anything." He smirks, leaning into you so his shoulder grazes yours. "What kinda man do you take me for?"

You snort, blushing harder at the sound. "I don't think you want the answer to that question, Eds." You look away, exhaling a large cloud of smoke across the table. Lucas just so happens to be sitting there, so it smacks him right in the face.

"Jesus, Y/N! Could you blow your smoke somewhere else, please?" He exclaims, coughing in an exaggerated fashion.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, dude." You apologize, shifting your head to Eddie's direction again. You know he won't mind you blowing smoke in his face. In some strange way, you get the feeling that he likes it. Maybe it's because he gets to see you, sweet little Y/N, being a 'bad girl' for once. You'd like to think so, anyway.

"I dunno, sweetheart. I might just surprise you." Eddie says in a sing-song voice, patting your thigh with his hand before getting up to retrieve something from the van. You almost choke on your drag when he touches you, and he holds back a snicker at your expense.

"God, you two seriously need to get a room." Mike says, loud enough for everyone to hear. Lucas smacks his hand across Mike's chest, gesturing at him to shut the fuck up. "Ouch! What? It's true!" Mike carries on, and the campsite falls silent. You look at Eddie out of instinct, and he instantly meets your gaze. You both quickly avert your eyes, but you know you've already been caught. "That! That right there! You keep looking at each other like lovesick little puppies, and yet neither of you make a move! It's excruciating!" Mike continues to rant and rave, disregarding all the disapproving looks he's getting from the other club members.

Nobody says anything for a moment. The occasional chirping of birds, and rustling of trees in the summer breeze is all you can hear. You force out a laugh, trying to save face. Not just for your sake, but for Eddie's too. "I have no idea what you're talking about, kiddo. I think you've been watching too many movies." Yeah, that'll throw them off the scent, you think to yourself as you roll your eyes at how lame of an excuse that was. "And even if you're right, it's honestly none of your goddamn business." You're getting irritated, not appreciating being put on the spot like this.

"There's no need to get so defensive, Y/N. You guys would be really good together." Lucas chimes in gently, fixing Mike with a glare for being so nosey.

"That's enough, guys. We don't need a bunch of kids meddling in our love lives, alright? And you're making Y/N uncomfortable, so knock it off." Eddie interjects, swooping in to save the day.

"Thanks, Eds." You reply, giving him a kind look. He happily returns it, nodding his head. You stub out your smoke, standing up from the table. You locate your flip-flops in your tent, sliding them on after putting your hiking shoes away. "Who's got the map?" You ask, needing to find the bathroom after all that water on your hike.

"Here. Where are you off to?" Gareth asks as he hands you the paper.

"The bathroom, if you must know. Anyone else need to go?" You glance around your group, met with no response. "Great. I'll be right back, then." You turn on your heels, taking your little trip all alone. The trail is quiet, there aren't a whole lot of other campers here. Your shoes make their little slaps as you walk, twigs and rocks crunching underfoot.

You contemplate the many conversations you've had today. Eddie telling you about his uncle, calling you hot, being otherwise flirty with you. And then Mike calling you out, as if the group thinks it's obvious that you and Eddie like each other. You'd love for him to make a definitive move, everything else has been too up in the air for your liking. Even during the hike, you could have easily imagined him about to kiss you because you want it so badly. You could theoretically take a risk of your own. But there's always the chance of Eddie rejecting you, and you can't live with that. Especially not when you're hours away from home, with no escape if he broke your heart. You sigh loudly, wrongfully assuming no one's around to hear it. "You okay, Y/N?" You hear Eddie's voice from behind you, making you shriek in surprise.

You whip around to face him. Your heart pounds at him startling you, along with your own thoughts plaguing you with churned up feelings. "Jesus christ, Eddie! You scared the shit outta me!" You shout, slapping his chest when he approaches you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to check on you. I felt bad that Mike made a scene like that." He speaks apologetically, putting an arm around your shoulders as you turn back around to keep moving. He would hold your hand, but you're a little busy using the map. He's so close to you now, closer than all the other times today. He smells like tobacco, bug spray, and the cheap cologne he always wears. The scent is intoxicating, dizzying your head as your heart races even more at his touch.

"It's fine, he's a total dumbass." You say with a laugh, drawing a breathy chuckle from Eddie too. Neither of you say anything else, noticing a tense energy building between you. "Eddie?" You say, squeaking out his name while keeping your eyes trained on the map.

"Yes, princess?" He asks, his breath fanning against your neck in your proximity. He really hopes you're going to address what Mike said in some way. To tell him outright that you like him, that you want him.

"After you put the flower in my hair...were you gonna...kiss me?" You speak slowly, hesitating at every crucial part of your question. Your stomach is doing flips, and you really want him to say 'yes'.

"Would you have let me?" You usually hate it when he answers a question with another question. But in this case, it's more than welcome.

"Yes." You reply, practically holding your breath at this point. Eddie stops walking, forcing you to do so as well with his weight on you. He pulls his arm away, and you almost whine at the loss. You face each other, and he gently takes the map from you and folds it back up. He slips it into his back pocket, and brings his hands to your waist. You move closer instinctively, your own hands resting on his shoulders. Is this it? Is this the moment you've been waiting for?

Eddie gazes deep into your eyes, licking his lips to moisten them. "I hope I don't sound cheesy when I say this. But I have very strong feelings for you, Y/N. You're sweet, kind, and absolutely gorgeous. I think about you all the time, I can't get you outta my head." He inches his face a bit closer to yours, allowing you to speak before meeting him in the middle.

"I really like you too, Eds. You're so handsome, funny, and smart. And you saved me. You brought me into your group when I had no one, when I needed it most. You mean so much to me, and I'd be totally lost without you." You press your lips to his without a second thought, and you instantly melt at how soft they are. You've always admired them, how full and plump they look has been so very tempting for you. Eddie pulls you closer so your bodies are pressed together, but his hands stay respectfully at your hips.

He bites your bottom lip, making you gasp. His tongue slips into your mouth to toy around with yours. You're getting really warm, and arousal spreads in your panties. Your heads twist and move languidly as you savor the taste of each other's mouths. You let out a quiet moan, making Eddie's cock twitch in his shorts. The kiss seems to last forever, and you only pull away when you're finding it hard to breathe. "Damn, you're really good at that." Eddie pants, smiling while he rests his forehead against yours.

"So are you, that's gotta be the hottest kiss I've ever had." You reply just as breathlessly. "On another note, I actually do need the bathroom. I wasn't just running away from that awkward conversation."

"Shit, okay. Here." He says, abruptly handing you the map from his pocket again. You loosen from your embrace, finishing the task you originally set out to do. You walk the rest of the way together, and Eddie waits for you outside the little shack. You try to be fast, and hastily wash your hands so you can return to him. "All good?" He asks with a smile.

"Yep! We better get back, before the kids suspect more than they already do." You giggle. "Hey, um, can we...play it cool when we get back to camp?" You ask nervously, you really don't want to put a damper on this before it even gets started.

"Oh, yeah. That's fine." Eddie replies, and his face falls slightly.

"I don't mean it like that, Eddie. I promise. I want to be with you, so much. I just don't want us to be the focus of the entire trip, you know? The others are already nosey enough. Plus...it's kinda thrilling to sneak around...keep it to ourselves for a while." You explain with a sly smile, and he perks right back up when he understands what you're saying.

"I like the sound of that, angel. I gotta warn you though, it's gonna be very difficult to keep my hands to myself." He says seductively, the words flowing into your ear again. His palm slips behind you, grabbing your ass to give you just a taste of what he wants to do to you.

"Oh, I'm counting on it." You say through a quiet moan, earning a chuckle from Eddie. He keeps his hand on you the entire way back to camp, massaging the flesh of your butt to draw little noises from you. He also brings his mouth to your throat every so often, nipping your skin without leaving any marks. At every single sound, he praises you in some way. He tells you how pretty you look, or how sexy you are when you whimper and moan for him. He drops an occasional 'good girl' in the mix, which turns you on more than you thought it would. By the time you meet up with the others again, you're absolutely soaked for him. But his hand leaves your ass before anyone sees, and you have to pretend you're not extremely horny now.

"Took you long enough! We were worried that maybe you two got lost." Gareth says snarkily, but you just ignore him.

"I'll make you get lost if you don't cut it out, Gareth!" Eddie snaps back, sitting at the picnic table to subtly adjust his erection to hide it. Kissing you and groping your ass has riled him up significantly. It's safe to say he can't wait to take things even further.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." Gareth says, wanting more than anything to get Eddie's death glare off of him. He's downright scary when he really puts his mind to it.

"That goes for the rest of you guys, too. I don't wanna hear another word about crushes or hidden feelings, or anything like that. Got it?" Eddie warns, and everyone nods in fearful agreement. They know better than to continually piss him off. "Good. Now, everyone go find a stick for roasting the hot dogs." He orders, which sends all of you on a mission while he goes to the supply shop for some firewood and more ice for the coolers.

When Eddie returns, you present him with the sticks you all gathered. You yourself found one for him along with your own, you figure he'd appreciate that. He does, and pulls out his pocketknife for you to carve off the ends so they're clean. You set to work, scraping the layers of dirt and mossy bark away with the sharp blade. Each stick is set on the picnic table once you're finished.

You look at Eddie as he's crouched over the fire pit, adoring the way the muscles in his back flex beneath his shirt, and the waistband of his boxers poking out from his shorts. He's so attractive without even trying, it's something you've always loved about him. His charm is so effortless, carefree even. He can lure you in with a single word, a passing glance. But to have him truly focus his romantic attention on you now, it's like you've tasted blood and you want more. He starts the fire in a couple minutes flat, he's clearly an expert in that area. You walk over to him when he stands up, a pleased expression on his face. You get real close when nobody's watching, angling strategically to speak in his ear. "Nice work, Eds. It's good to know you have such nimble fingers. I can't wait to see how well you can use them on me."

He stiffens at your words, in more ways than one. He's so glad that you're proving to be his perfect match, playing little games with him under everybody's noses. He turns his head slightly to find a lustful grin spread across your mouth, and it takes everything in him to refrain from kissing you. "Play your cards right, and I'll use them anywhere you like, sweetheart." He winks, mirroring your filthy smirk.

"I'll make sure to hold you to that." You reply, mimicking his words from earlier. You reach down and squeeze his ass, walking away a second later. Eddie holds back a groan, watching you slink haunches-up into your tent until it's time for dinner. You lay back on your sleeping bag, releasing a satisfied sigh. You want so badly to squeal in excitement, all this tantalization is just too much fun. Meanwhile, Eddie stands in shock at your antics for a moment. He can't stop thinking about all the ways he's going to claim you as his, and it's becoming very difficult to stop himself from getting noticeably hard.

When the sun begins to set on the first day of your trip, everyone takes their places around the campfire. The song of crickets and frogs starts to fill the air. The nocturnal creatures are slowly claiming their territory, and your group are but humble guests in their presence. You're loading up the sticks you cleaned earlier with cold weenies, passing them out to each member of your club, saving yours and Eddie's for last. The others take turns in groups of three to roast the hotdogs. "Shit." Alex exclaims as his weiner falls into the ashes beside the fire. It's like an unspoken rule that at least one person accidentally sacrifices their hotdog to the campfire gods.

"Nice job, buddy!" Gareth says with a smirk while he claps Alex's shoulder. Alex scowls at him, muttering swears under his breath. You happily supply him with a new frankfurter, spearing it firmly on the stick so it won't fall off this time.

"I'll try not to drop this one." Alex says bashfully as a harsh blush colors his cheeks. He positions the stick above the orange flames, watching closely in hopes to save this sausage if it attempts an escape.

"It's fine, dude. We've got plenty more." You say kindly, tapping the cooler containing packs on packs of the processed meat product. Eddie's sat beside you at the picnic table once again, smoking as he waits for his turn at the fire. He'd offered you one too, but you've had enough nicotine for the time being. What you really want is some food, and more kisses from Eddie for dessert.

The daylight continually fades away, going from a warm mix of oranges and pinks, to a deep navy blue that's just a shade or two away from pitch black. "We're up, princess." Eddie nudges your shoulder, the fire casting dramatic highlights and shadows on his handsome face. You nod, following him over to the pit with your skewers. You hand him his, and he purposely touches as much of your hand as possible before taking the stick from your grasp. You gaze at him a little too long, snapping your eyes away before anyone notices.

You focus your attention on the fire, and your weenie roasting above it. The flames flick and lap at the bottom of the sausage playfully, cooking it just the way you like. The heat from the fire is so inviting, the crackling of the wood is such a comforting sound. However, there's a different fire roaring inside you. One that longs to know what might happen between you and Eddie once the others are asleep. You'll take anything at this point, he could make out with your elbow for all you care. You suppress a needy sigh, you just have to be patient.

"You alright, Y/N? You look like you're constipated." Jeff asks, inspecting your face curiously.

"I'm fine, jerkoff. I'm just hungry, I didn't eat enough today." You lie, fixing a smile across your lips to get him off your back.

"You sure you're not on the rag, too?" He retorts with a laugh, drawing snickers from Alex and Gareth as well.

"I think, for your sake, we ought to pretend you didn't just say that." You say in a warning tone, narrowing your eyes. Everyone's really getting at you today, not-so-slyly attempting to draw the truth out of you. Playful teasing is one thing, but it's becoming rather ridiculous now.

"I second that. I'd hate for my stick to accidentally end up in your eye, Jeff." Eddie chimes in, coming to your aid once again. He realizes this won't quell anyone's suspicions, but somebody should be on your side here.

"Okay, okay. Jeez, touchy much?" Jeff scoffs, rolling his eyes. You and Eddie finish roasting your hotdogs, bringing them over to the table to put into buns and slather with ketchup and mustard. You open the drink cooler, pulling out two beers from the slightly melted ice. You hand one off to Eddie, and he gives you an odd look.

"Go easy with that, sweetheart. I'd hate for you to be too drunk to have fun with me later." He says in that silky smooth voice only you get to hear.

"I have had a beer before, Eddie." You playfully roll your eyes at him, locating the bottle/can opener from the bag of utensils. You flick off the top with ease, reaching over to open his too. He watches you like a hawk all the while, his mind going to all the wrong places as you flip the little metal cap off his bottle with a small pop.

"What? When?" He asks, completely surprised at you. He can't even count the amount of times he's offered you one at your D&D sessions or casual hangouts. You've always said no, giving the excuse that your parents check your breath whenever you go home.

"At home...alone, and at a couple parties. I know, it's kinda lame. To be honest, I thought I'd make a fool of myself if I drank around you. But now I don't have to worry about that." You set the opener on the table, taking your previous spot again. He joins you, eyes widening slightly when you take a swig of your beer. You chuckle at his shocked expression, it's so damn cute. "It's not like I've grown a third eye or something. Relax, I'm far from a lightweight. It's one beer, I'll be fine." You pat his thigh to reassure him, shifting your gaze to watch the others munching down their food and poking one another with their sticks.

"Sorry, you're just- like...a whole new person today." He says, fumbling over his words.

"Is that a bad thing?" You ask, looking at him again. Your tone isn't accusatory, more like you're playing another little game.

"Not at all, princess. In fact, I'm really digging this new version of you." He replies, his voice even darker than before. You're just so full of surprises to him, and he wants nothing more than to take you right now on the table. Or in the grass, or in his van.

"Me too. I'm really enjoying seeing this side of you, I've always wanted to." You lean over real close, checking to make sure nobody is looking. Everyone else is too busy rough-housing to pay attention to you, so you take your chance. You bring your face centimeters away from Eddie's, staring deep into his eyes. "And I gotta say, I can't wait to get you alone to see even more." You grin, sneakily palming his dick over his shorts.

"Fuck, Y/N. You're playing with fire here. Anyone could see what a dirty girl you're being if they looked our way." His words come out strained into a whisper, holding back a moan. He's absolutely loving this, he just hopes nobody sees.

"Oh, but that just adds to the fun, Eds." You squeeze him just a little bit harder, watching the pleasure display plainly on his face. He gasps slightly, his mouth sitting open as he breathes heavily. His eyes bore into yours, dilated with lust. "Let's eat, I'd hate for the food to get cold." You let go of his cock, pulling your face away as well to pick up your hotdog. The fact that nobody caught you gives you a massive thrill. You're extremely wet again, and Eddie didn't even touch you this time. You basically made all the moves, and you'll be damned if it doesn't make you feel powerful. You take a large bite of food, realizing you're very hungry all of a sudden.

"You're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart." Eddie says once his brain fully processes what just happened. He grabs hold of his beer, downing almost all of it in one go.

You and Eddie play it cool for the next few hours, focusing on being a part of the campfire conversation instead of isolating yourselves. You didn't plan this trip to confess your feelings and cling to one another, you really want to spend some quality time with your friends. You make tons of s'mores, and Eddie tells spooky stories to scare everyone shitless. You watch with adoring eyes as he weaves gory tales of killers with hooks for hands and families of cannibals. You have to admit the stories aren't exactly original, but the way he builds anticipation and genuinely startles everyone makes them sound entirely brand new. He breaks the fearful tension with some more lighthearted fables, and by the end of the third one, everyone else's eyes are drooping significantly as they fight against sleep.

One by one, your fellow club members take their leave to climb into their tents for the night. Alex and Jeff are first to go, saying goodnight to everyone as they fail to stifle loud yawns. Next goes Mike, Lucas, Gareth, and Dustin after taking a group trip to the bathroom. Erica holds out longer than you thought she would, but she ultimately falls asleep in her chair. Eddie tries to wake her up, but she's stubborn when it comes to sleep. So, he carefully lifts her out of the chair and puts her on top of her sleeping bag in the tent. He takes off her shoes so they don't hurt her feet all night, before rejoining you on the bench. "Well, looks like it's just us now, baby." Eddie says quietly, stroking your arm in a suggestive way.

"Took them long enough, I thought we'd have to wait all damn night." You reply, sharing a light laugh. The fire has winnowed down significantly, just barely illuminating you two in the dark. The croaks and chirps of the forest critters have only gotten louder, serenading you with their native song. The moon shines bright above the trees, peeking through the canopy of branches far above your heads. Twinkling stars can be made out too, if you squint hard enough. It's a beautiful night, which sets the stage for anything romantic that might happen between you and your kinda-sorta boyfriend.

"Yeah, Erica definitely had me worried there. She also likes to kick in her sleep, so watch out for that later." Eddie winces as he rubs the part of his ribs where he got a good hit from Erica once he laid her down.

"Oh, you poor thing. Should I kiss it better?" You say teasingly.

"Yes, please!" He says, a little too excited to taste your pretty lips again.

"Well...since you said the magic word." You giggle, leaning in to press your mouth onto his. He tastes like chocolate and marshmallow, with a little hint of beer. It's delicious, and you can't help scrambling to straddle his lap. You shove your tongue in his mouth, moaning at his erection rising beneath you. Eddie's hands grab the swells of your ass, leading you to grind against his dick. You moan again, a little too loud.

"Shh, baby. You gotta be quiet if you don't wanna get caught." Eddie says lowly after breaking your kiss. You nod silently, letting him bring his lips to your neck. He starts with little pecks, soft and gentle. You continue to grind on him, making a small wet spot on Eddie's shorts as your arousal soaks through your clothes. You try to keep your volume down, and luckily the sounds of the woods help muffle your whimpers and whines.

"I want you, Eddie. I'm so wet for you." You say directly into his ear, and he groans against your flesh. He tests your limits, biting down on your throat to see your reaction. "Fuck." The sting of his teeth on you feels so fucking good, you really want him to do it again. But then you realize it might leave marks, and you don't want anyone finding you out just yet. "That felt so good, baby. But the others might suspect something if I'm covered in hickeys tomorrow."

"Sorry, princess. I'll save that for after we go public." He licks a long stripe up the length of your neck, before capturing your lips once again. Your hands are tangled in his hair, you'd pulled his ponytail out shortly after climbing on top of him. You gently tug on his curly locks, drawing more lustful noises from him. Eddie's dick is unbearably hard, and the feeling of you grinding against it is driving him insane. You decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, breaking away from his mouth to kiss his neck instead. "Y/N." He groans when you find his sweet spot almost immediately.

His grip on your ass tightens, leading you to roll your hips even faster. "Eddie, you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that." You whimper between kisses on his skin.

"That's kinda the point, sweetheart." He chuckles darkly. You're practically putty in his hands, whining and moaning his name as quietly as you can. He's got you right on the edge, and he wants more than anything to see you come undone. "You gonna be a good girl for me? Gonna make a mess in those cute little shorts you have on?" Eddie eggs you on, his words pushing you closer and closer.

"Uh-huh. I'm so close, Eds." You say breathily, reaching down to bring his hands away from your ass and up to your chest instead. He immediately squeezes your tits over your shirt, and you grip his shoulders to maintain your rhythm. He slips under your tank top and bra to feel you completely, making you gasp when his thumbs brush over your hardened nipples. "Fuck, I'm gonna-" You're cut off by your words catching in your throat, and you clap your hand over your mouth to muffle to obscenely loud sound that threatens to wake everybody up. Your thighs shake as your orgasm washes over you, every inch of you tingling with pleasure. You shove your head into Eddie's shoulder as you ride it out, and his hands go to your sides to stroke you gently.

"You did so well, princess. You're so fuckin' sexy." You blush at his praise, lifting your head to crush his lips with yours. You stay like this for what feels like hours, just kissing and basking in your afterglow. You definitely want more, especially since Eddie hasn't had a turn yet. He doesn't mind taking his time though, it's reward enough for him to make you feel good. You're so caught up in the moment, and just about to strip each other's shirts off, when a flashlight shines into your faces from your right. You freeze, lips and wandering hands stilling in place as you look to see who's caught you.

"Well, what a surprise." Erica says sarcastically. You see she's alone in her discovery, and you immediately separate from one another. You're not sure what to say, but Erica saves your breath. She looks at you with a sly grin, crossing her arms with attitude. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this. I'd sooner bleach my eyeballs before reliving this moment."

"Thank you, E-" Eddie begins to speak, but she cuts him off.

"I wasn't finished, freak. My silence comes at a price." You and Eddie roll your eyes, there's always a catch when one needs a favor from Erica goddamn Sinclair.

"What do you want?" You ask, already regretting it. It's like striking a deal with the devil in a way, though you imagine even Satan himself fears Erica's wrath.

"I want to be the DM for our next three campaigns." She says simply, and you have no objection. Eddie, on the other hand, is a different story.

"No way, kid! I'm not gonna play your kiddie My Little Pony shit." Eddie says, he's not one to relinquish control so easily. And certainly not when it comes to D&D.

"Fine! I'll just wake everybody up and tell them I found you two macking on each other like a couple of perverts!" She retorts, dramatically gearing up to shout for the others.

"Wait!" You whisper-yell to her, wanting a chance to convince Eddie to go through with her request. You turn to him, taking his hands in yours as you begin to plead. "Eddie, come on! You know she won't make the campaigns lame and kiddish. You've seen her play, she's a borderline sociopath!"

"I choose to take that as a compliment." Erica interjects, before you continue.

"It's just three games, that's not so bad. Please, Eddie? Save us both the embarrassment? I promise we can tell everyone on the way back or something. And I'll make it two cartons of smokes instead of one." You give your best show of puppy eyes as you speak, watching his expression change gradually while you do so. He has to admit, you sure know how to convince him to do anything you want. And the begging is most definitely a turn-on.

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, and you know that you've gotten your way. "Alright! Fine! But no kiddie shit! If you wanna DM, you gotta be ruthless, 'kay?"

"Have you met me? I bet I could be even more sadistic than you. Now, where's the map? I didn't get a chance to pee before bed."

"You sure you're okay to go on your own?" You ask, worried about such a young child wandering down the pitch dark trail all alone.

"Please, I'll be fine. I can't imagine it's all that difficult to find." She insists, extending her hand for you to hand her the map.

"Okay, we'll wait up for you to come back though, alright?" You offer as you give her the bundle of paper.

"Okay. Thanks, Y/N." She says with a smile, before heading on her merry way.

"Well, that was a close one. I guess we'll have to be more careful." You say with an awkward chuckle.

"Yeah, guess so." Eddie replies, looking at the ground. He seems upset, and it makes your stomach flip. You really hope you haven't ruined this.

"What's wrong, Eds?" You ask, but you have a feeling you already know what he's gonna say.

"Nothing, I..." He sighs, contemplating how to put this without causing an argument. "I just feel like you're putting so much effort into hiding us. Like you're embarrassed to be seen with me or something." The hurt in his voice makes your heart ache, that wasn't your intention one bit.

"Eddie, I swear that I'm not. I would never be ashamed of being with you, especially not when it comes to the freaks we call our friends." You reassure him, even making him laugh lightly. "I just know that we'll never hear the end of it, when we're supposed to be having fun as a group this weekend. They've already been getting at us constantly, and they don't actually know we're together yet! I really like you, Eddie. Fuck it, I love you. It's just a little longer, and we'll have to be more discreet if we wanna fool around. But if it really bothers you, we can tell everyone first thing in the morning."

"You...love me?" Eddie asks, his eyes wide in utter shock. You curse yourself for blurting the words out, fearing that you've scared him away now.

"Um...yeah. You don't have to say it ba-"

"I love you too, princess." He cuts you off again, smiling bright like the sun. "And I suppose you're right, the kids will be making jokes and obnoxious noises at us all weekend. We can wait to tell them, otherwise we'll be going home with a van full of dead children." He jokes, giving you a gentle kiss afterwards.

"Thank you, Eddie. You're the best, you know that?" You say sweetly, rubbing your nose against his. He smirks at your affections, you're just too damn adorable.

"Oh, I know, baby. Why else would you be so helplessly in love with me?" He replies with a dramatic swoon, the back of his hand going to his forehead as he teases you.

"Don't make me regret telling you that, Munson." You warn, though the quiver of your frowning lips gives you away.

"Hey now, I said it back, didn't I? Plus, how could I possibly resist you, sweetheart? You've gotta be the most amazing woman I've ever known." He pulls you back onto his lap, sitting sideways this time.

"Do you even know any other women?" You joke, and he just scoffs at you.

"Ouch! Since when are you so feisty?" He finishes the sentence with gritted teeth, raising his hands to tickle you. You gasp as his fingers wiggle erratically across your stomach and sides.

"Eddie, quit it! You're gonna make me scream!" You whisper-yell as you fight back every urge to squeal and laugh loud enough for the others to hear you.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, baby!" He replies with a low chuckle, refusing to let up.

"Eddie, please! I was just kidding! I'm sorry!" You plead, attempting to flail away from him. But it's no use, he's got you trapped firmly in his grip.

"Then tell me I'm the sexiest man alive, angel." He taunts, speaking seductively in your ear to give you a way out.

"You're the sexiest man alive, Eddie! Now let me go!" You don't mind stroking his ego, you find the statement to be very true in your eyes.

"Good girl." He grins, ceasing his tickling and planting a gentle kiss on your neck.

"God, I love it when you call me that." You let out a satisfied sigh, laying your head on Eddie's shoulder. You realize Erica has been gone for a while, raising your head again to peek down the trail. You don't see any trace of her flashlight, and you're getting worried that she's lost.

"What are we looking at, Y/N?" Eddie asks, leaning forward to join you in staring at the darkness.

"Erica's been gone too long. We should go look for her." You say in a serious tone, getting out of his embrace. Eddie stands with you, retrieving two flashlights from the table. "Do you remember if she took her walkie or not?" You ask, unable to recall anything outside of her catching you together.

"No, we can always try it anyways." He replies, taking one from the table. He flicks it on, extending the antenna. He presses the button to speak. "Erica, do you copy?" He releases the button for a moment, only hearing static as he waits for a reply. "Erica, do you copy?" He sounds a little more panicked this time, giving a longer pause. "Shit. I don't think she took it with her. We'll just have to find her the old-fashioned way." He puts the walkie in his pocket, in case anyone wakes up and wonders where you went off to. You flick on your lights, the bright white hitting harshly against the beaten path. He takes hold of your hand, giving a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry, we'll find her." He says calmly, though his face reads equally as worried as your own.

"Okay." You nod, and you set off on your journey to find the missing Sinclair sibling. You find the bathroom shack easily, it's not difficult to locate once you've gone down the trail before. "I'll see if she's in here." You say, letting go of his hand. He nods his head at you, and you go to the entrance of the women's room. You push the door open, calling out to Erica. "Erica? Are you in here?" You ask, hoping you get a reply. She's so young, it must be terrifying to be out here in the dark all alone. Sure, she gives the impression of being tough as nails, but even the bravest of men can easily become scared in the deep dark woods.

"Yeah, I'm in here. I'm not feeling so good, though." Erica groans, and you hear the sounds of her vomiting into a toilet in one of the stalls.

"Oh, Erica. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" You ask, though you can't imagine you can do much for her.

"Ugh, no. I think I had too many s'mores." She whimpers before puking again. Your own stomach turns slightly at the sounds, you've always been squeamish around sick people.

"Okay, well, take your time. I'm just gonna let Eddie know and we'll see what we can do." You leave the bathroom, finding Eddie looking all around the woods to find Erica. "She's in there, but she's very sick. She ate too many s'mores."

"Shit. Well, I'm glad we found her at least. Not sure what we're gonna do about her being so sick. If it's actually the flu, it could get bad fast with her out in this heat." He says, the gears in his brain working as he tries to figure out what to do. "We probably have to take her and Lucas to the Ranger building. They should have a phone there for Lucas to call their parents to pick them up."

"Yeah, that's probably best. I hate for them to miss out on the rest of the trip, but it's the right thing to do. Let's wait for her to be empty, and then we'll get her and Lucas packed up." A little while later, Erica walks out of the shack. Her face is pale, and she's covered in sweat. "Hey, Erica. So, we've decided it would be best for you and Lucas to go home. If this is the flu or something, it's not safe for you out here. I'm really sorry, kiddo." You speak as apologetically as you can, and she just nods.

"Okay. I was gonna ask to go home anyways. I know a tummy ache when I see one, and this isn't it." She speaks weakly, which freaks you out as she's usually pretty spunky. She looks so miserable, you wish you could magically make her all better. You and Eddie lead her back to camp, giving her some water while you gather her things. Luckily for you, all you need to do is roll up her sleeping bag and zip up her backpack.

Eddie opens the tent where Lucas is sleeping, gently shaking him awake. "Hey, Lucas. Get up, buddy." He whispers so as not to wake Mike and Dustin.

"W-What's going on?" Lucas asks as he rubs his eyes.

"Erica's sick, so we have to take you guys to the Ranger station and have you call your parents. I'm really sorry, man."

"Oh, man. That sucks. But I understand, just let me get my stuff." Lucas replies, forcing himself awake.

"Take it slow, kiddo." You warn Erica as she sips down her water. Eddie loads up hers and Lucas' belongings in the meantime, and then you all get into the van to drive to the large building at the entrance of the campground. You and Eddie walk the kids inside, finding the same burly man from the kiosk sitting at the night desk. Eddie explains the situation, and the ranger allows Lucas to use the phone. He also lets Erica get comfortable on the couch in the rec area, setting a trash can beside her in case she throws up again. The Sinclairs insist you should return to camp and get some rest since their parents are already on the way. But you refuse to leave them alone, sitting beside each other on some not-so-comfortable chairs.

About two hours into waiting, Erica is sleeping soundly again. Lucas is repeatedly dozing off, but startling himself awake when his head begins to fall forwards. You yourself are finding it hard to stay awake, so you curl up as comfortably as you can in your seat, leaning your head on Eddie's shoulder. You don't even care if Lucas sees, you just want to be close to the man you love. "You tired, princess? You can sleep in the van if you want." Eddie offers, though he thinks your sleepy display is rather cute.

"No, I'm gonna stay here with you. Gotta make sure the kids are safe." You say lazily, already halfway to dreamland.

"Okay, baby. Sleep well." He presses a light kiss to the top of your head, once he sees that Lucas has fully passed out now.

By the time Lucas and Erica's parents show up, the sun is starting to rise. It shines through the windows of the Ranger building, going directly into your eyes. "Mmm." You groan as you readjust to block out the light. Until now, you’ve slept surprisingly well with Eddie as your pillow.

"Sweetheart, wake up. The kids are getting ready to leave." Eddie nudges you, speaking softly. You try to cling even harder to him, which makes Lucas raise an eyebrow in your direction. "C'mon, darling. We gotta get up and get back to camp." He shakes your shoulder, and you open your eyes.

"Ugh, fine." You whine, slowly standing up from your chair.

"So....are you two...ya know?" Lucas gestures awkwardly at you and Eddie, putting the pieces together.

"Yes, Lucas. But keep your mouth shut! We plan to tell everyone after the trip." You say with a sleepy scowl, and he nods in agreement. You lead him and Erica outside, helping them into their parents' car.

"Thanks for staying here with them all night, I'm sorry they can't stay for the rest of the weekend." Mrs. Sinclair says through her rolled-down window.

"It's no trouble at all, ma'am. I hope Erica feels better soon." Eddie says kindly, taking hold of your hand. You smile at the contact, and the two of you wave goodbye as the Sinclairs pull out of the parking lot and drive out of the campground.

You sigh in relief, glad that Erica will get the love and care she needs at home. "Did you sleep at all, Eds?" You ask, noticing slight bags under his eyes.

"A little, somebody kept snoring though." He teases, giving you a nudge.

"I did not!" You exclaim, insisting you do no such thing.

"I know! I was talking about Lucas!" He says, and you smack his chest playfully.

"You ass!" You laugh. "C'mon, let's go back before the others wake up." You get back in the van, driving down the trail to Lot 106. But as you pull into the parking space, you realize everyone is already out of bed, sitting around with concerned expressions on their faces.

"Where the fuck were you guys all night? And where are Erica and Lucas?" Jeff asks as you hop out into the humid morning air.

"Erica got sick last night, so we took her and Lucas to the Ranger station. We called their parents, and waited all night for them to be picked up. We're sorry we didn't tell you, but it was the middle of the night and we didn't want to disturb you. We did bring a walkie though in case you guys wondered where we were, though." The others slowly relax as you explain the situation, their hardened expressions loosening with every word.

"Is Erica gonna be okay?" Dustin asks, worried about his unlikely friend.

"Yes, it's probably just a stomach bug. Now, who's hungry?" You reply, watching as everyone's hand raises into the air. You chuckle quietly, going to the table to make PB&J sandwiches for breakfast. Eddie assists you, and you hand them out to everyone along with some orange slices from the cooler. "So, what's on the agenda for today, Eds?" You ask loud enough for the others to hear.

"Well, I was thinking we could have a beach day, and hang out at the lake. It's supposed to have crystal clear waters, and it's covered in colorful rocks on the bottom." Eddie says, munching on an orange slice afterwards.

"Sounds great! I love reading a good book on the beach." You speak cheerily as you finish your food.

"Reading? You're not gonna swim?" Eddie asks, barely hiding his disappointment.

"I didn't say that, I just really like sunbathing, that's all." You giggle, you imagine Eddie wants so badly to see you in your bathing suit. You did force your mom to give you a ride to the mall to find something cute...and sexy, in hopes of enticing him. You're excited for him to see it, but you're gonna wait for your perfect moment to reveal it to him.

"Sounds like somebody just wants to see Y/N in her swimsuit." Gareth jokes, and Eddie's cheeks turn bright red.

"Shut up, dickweed! I never said that!" Eddie shouts, which doesn't help dissuade anyone's assumptions.

"I don't know, it sounds like thou doth protest too much, Eddie." Alex joins in, drawing laughs from everyone but you.

"You guys are perverted. He's just making conversation." You say plainly, hoping your friends will shut the hell up.

"If you say so..." Mike replies in a sing-song voice.

"Alright! I'm done, and I need a goddamn shower after staying in these clothes all night. You wanna come with, Y/N?" Eddie stands, tossing his empty paper plate into the trash bag you have sitting on the table.

"Sure. I guess I'm in the same boat, grunge-wise." You leave your seat on the bench, going to your tent to pull out your toiletry bag and towel.

"And now you're gonna shower together? Interesting." Dustin chimes in, and you just roll your eyes as they all laugh at your expense again.

"We're obviously showering separately, you assholes! I thought we agreed to stop the teasing!" You shout, glaring at everyone individually. But you strike no fear into them, they only laugh harder. "Whatever, I'm over this shit." You're genuinely getting angry, you just wish they'd knock it off. It wasn't so bad at first, but now it's getting out of hand. You storm off, heading down the trail as a couple tears fall from your eyes.

"Dammit, guys!" Eddie groans, shaking his head and snatching up his own things before turning to follow you. He jogs to catch up, and he notices you crying. "Are you okay, Y/N?" He asks, reaching for your hand.

"Do you see why I didn't want to tell them now? I know it shouldn't bother me so much, but they're really getting on my nerves." You say through a sniffle. You feel silly crying over this, but it isn't often that you're the constant target of jokes and comments.

"I'm sorry, princess. I don't know what to do about them, they're being real jerks today." He's not sure how to handle this, the fuckers just won't let up. He supposes it's because they highly suspect you're into each other. But regardless of that, they should know when to quit.

"I don't either. The more we say, the worse it gets. I'm just gonna ignore them, I'm tired of going back and forth all day." You decide the only way to get them to quit is if you freeze them out, to act like they don't exist.

"That's probably a good idea. Maybe if they see how upset they've made you, they'll finally knock it off and apologize. But in the meantime...you wanna shower with me?" He suggests, wanting to help you feel better.

"I dunno, Eds. What if they try to spy on us?" You ask, looking behind you to see if you're being followed. You don't see anyone, so maybe you're being paranoid.

"You don't have to if you're not comfortable, angel. I just want to make you feel good. But it's up to you." He speaks lowly, tempting you with the promise of getting you off.

"Shit, you're impossible to resist, you know that?" You say cheekily as you finally reach the shower shack. "How about you turn on one of the showers in the men's room, just in case they come to see if you're in there. They wouldn't dare go in the women's." You suggest, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

"I like the way you think, baby. I'll be right back." He leaves you for a moment, and you feel your heart racing as the anticipation builds. He comes back out a moment later, and you lead him into the women's room. You check to make sure no one else is in here, and the coast is clear. You pick the shower stall farthest from the entrance, secluded in the corner. You both put your stuff down on the little shelf so it stays dry. Eddie immediately pins you against the wall, smashing his mouth on yours. You moan against his lips, letting him slip his tongue in. You put your arms around his shoulders, holding him close. His mouth moves on to your neck, meeting your sweet spot shortly after.

"Eddie." You whimper, wanting him to go further.

"How far have you gone before, baby?" Eddie asks against your skin, curious to know if you have much experience.

"You really think I'm that innocent, Eds?" You reply, reaching down to grip his erection. He groans in your grasp, resisting the urge to bite you again.

"I guess you're right. You've been surprising me again and again the last couple days. But have you...gone all the way, Y/N?" You can't help giggling at his phrasing, it sounds a bit childish.

"You really wanna know?" You tease, palming him harder and rougher than before. You look deep into his eyes, eating up the little moans he's emitting just for you. He just nods, unable to form words. "Yes, I have."

"Who with?" He pushes the question out.

"Is this really that important to you? Trying to see who you're competing with?" You chuckle, unable to help rolling your eyes.

"Maybe a little. You just always blush like crazy at my dirty jokes, so I assumed..."

"That I'm a virgin?" You finish the sentence for him. He affirms your statement, and you just shake your head. "Did it ever occur to you that I blushed like that because it was you telling the jokes? Ya know, because I'm head over heels for you?"

"Well, it does now." He says with a bashful laugh. "But you didn't answer my question." He finds his cool once more, lowering his own hand to undo the button of your shorts. He slides your zipper down its track, and slips his hand inside your panties. His fingers brush against your slick folds, making you moan loudly. "God, you're absolutely soaked, sweetheart." He's just about to push two digits into your pussy, when he stills his movements entirely. "Tell me who, Y/N." He says darkly, giving your clit half-flicks to drive you wild.

"There's been a couple." You say, hoping that's enough for him. But you can already see that it isn't.

"I'm not gonna judge you, princess. I just wanna know." He politely insists. You can see where he's going, he'll reward you if you do as he asks.

"Alright, since you asked nicely. My first...was Steve Harrington." You admit, as embarrassing as it is.

"King Steve, huh? And when was this?" Eddie puts his fingers inside you finally, curving them slowly to press on your g spot.

"Fuck. It was a little while after he broke up with Nancy Wheeler. We were drunk at a party." It's insane how easily he's able to draw the words out of you. But looking into his lust-filled eyes makes it impossible not to obey him.

"How was it, angel?" He continues.

"Well, it was pretty clumsy since we were wasted. And let's just say he didn't last very long." You say with a giggle, recalling how you barely got anywhere without Steve blowing his load.

"He didn't make you cum?" He laughs, this little game is very amusing for him. The confessions he's pulling from you, along with your hands working his belt open are turning him on immensely. You open up his own shorts, reaching inside his boxers to jerk him off in your hand. "Shit, Y/N."

"Not. Even. Close. No fingers, no tongue, just a few pumps of his cock and that was all she wrote. I pity Nancy, if anything." You reply, gasping as Eddie's pace increases. You stroke his dick a little faster in response.

"Well, sounds like I've already got one up on Harrington after last night." Your breath fans in each other's faces, hearts beating rapidly as you get each other off with your hands.

"You certainly do, and you'll have another one if you go faster." You whimper, feeling a knot balling up inside you, just waiting to release.

"Anything for you, baby." He pounds his fingers into your cunt, wet noises filling the room along with your moans. You hold onto his shoulder to keep yourself from falling over. And you jerk him off even faster, wanting him to lose it with you. "Who else? Please tell me." He almost begs, finding himself nearing the edge.

"Jason Carver, a little bit before he got with Chrissy. Another drunken mistake." You answer, and his eyes tell you he wants more details. It's so strange, you didn't think Eddie would ever want to hear about the guys that came before him. But you assume he wants to be better than them, and it won't take much if you're being honest. "He was very similar to Steve, only more aggressive. He didn't even kiss me."

"That's terrible, sweetheart. Sounds like you have a habit of collecting the popular boys, though." Eddie can't help feeling a little jealous, even though these other young men didn't perform very well. He brings his lips to your neck again, wanting to bring you down with him as his high quickly approaches.

"It's called having low self-esteem, Eds. The popular kid gives you the time of day, and it makes you feel special. I've learned that it's far from worth it, though." You reply through a whimper. "You're so much better than they are, and it's not just because you actually know what you're doing." You speak against his ear, fueling his fire.

"Was there anyone else?" He asks as his stomach tenses.

"A couple, I don't remember their names. Those were a little better, they tried at least. But I still didn't cum." You say breathily, your walls fluttering around Eddie's fingers. "I'm about to right now, though. Fuck- Eddie!" You cry out, your legs trembling as you cum hard around his hand. Your mouth falls open and your eyebrows scrunch as you moan so loud.

"Y/N." Eddie groans, staring at your fuck-struck face as his load spills onto your hollowed fist. He falls forward against you slightly, clumsily kissing you as your orgasms run their course. Your hands go still in each other's shorts, before you pull away entirely. Eddie leans against the wall beside you, bringing his sticky fingers up to his lips to taste you. He moans at the taste, so musky and sweet. "You're so delicious, sweetheart." He says as his chest heaves to pull air into his lungs.

You decide to taste him too, it's so hot to see him swallow your cum like that. You lick the sticky white fluid off of your hand, keeping your eyes glued to his the whole time. He's the perfect balance between sweet and salty, the flavor makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. "So are you, Eds." You reply once you clean up every last drop.

"Do you want more, angel? Or are you tapped out for the time being?" Eddie asks sweetly, noting the tired expression on your face. He strokes your arm lightly, gazing at you for an answer.

"I think I might be, it was very...intense." You say with a smile, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss. "But we've got all day, and I'm guessing the others are counting down the minutes until we get back."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll let you get cleaned up, and I'll meet you right outside." He zips up his jeans, sliding the belt back into place. He checks to make sure he's safe to leave and take his own shower, and there's no one to be found. He slips out the door, it slams lightly on its hinges once he's gone.

You slowly strip off your clothes, still reeling from Eddie fingering you while asking you about who you've slept with. You wouldn't have expected something like that to be so sexy, but doing it with him blew your mind to smithereens. You set the clothes on the shelf, twisting the shower knob to start the water. The temperature is nice and warm, and you sigh in satisfaction as the water soaks your hair and skin. You wash away all the sweat and cum from the last twelve hours, becoming fresh and new again.

You're not sure how long you've been in here, probably too long to not raise further questions from the others. You mentally curse your inability to resist Eddie's charms, rushing to rinse off your soap and shampoo so you can hurry back. You shut the water off, drying your body with your towel. You change into your swimsuit, a matching bandeau top and bikini brief set in a gorgeous deep purple. You've never shown so much skin before, especially not to Eddie and your friends. You put on an almost-sheer black cover-up on top of it, you don't want to give away the surprise just yet. The thin fabric barely reaches your thighs, and you close up the button to hide your body away.

You slip your flip-flops back on, gathering your belongings to rejoin Eddie who's waiting outside for you. He's having another smoke, flicking the ash into the grass. He catches your eye, looking you up and down. "Damn, sweetheart. You look like you're ready for the beach." He says with a smirk, offering you a cigarette. His hair is tied up again, dripping water onto the back of his shirt. You notice he's changed into his trunks, which are a simple solid black that go halfway down his thighs. The drawstrings are tied into a neat bow, holding them securely on his hips.

"I most certainly am." You gladly accept his offer, letting him light the cig for you.

"I can't wait to see what you've got on under there." He says, attempting to peek down the front of your cover-up. You hold the fabric tight to your chest, pushing a hand against his face.

"You'll see soon enough, don't ruin the surprise!" You exclaim, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Ooh, did you wear it just for me, angel?" He asks as he backs off. He looks at you, watching your cheeks heat up and your eyes dart away.

"I may have bought it to try and seduce you." You say sheepishly, taking a long drag of your cigarette. It's kind of embarrassing when you say it out loud.

"Well, I may not know what it looks like just yet, but I can guarantee it would've worked." He whispers as you approach your campsite once again. "Is everyone ready for the beach?" Eddie addresses the others, once again pretending like nothing happened. It's strange how easy it is for him to switch back and forth like that, but you don't mind it.

"Yeah!" The others cheer in unison. You put your toiletries away and retrieve your book, sunglasses, and beach blanket. You put the glasses over your eyes, carrying a cooler full of drinks in your other hand. Everyone else is carrying towels, snacks, beach balls, and a boombox in their hands. You and Eddie lead the way to the lake, which is a little farther away than you expect. But once you reach it, you can't help but gasp at the beauty before you.

"Holy shit." You say as you take in the scene. The lake is huge, and there's surprisingly no one else around. The water is clear as glass, just like Eddie said it would be, and those colorful rocks really pop as the sun shines down on the wide open space. On the other side of the lake is a thick treeline, with a family of deer drinking from the crystalline waters. Birds fly overhead, cawing their mating calls and swirling in playful circles. You set down your blanket a good twenty feet from the water, laying it on the silky smooth rocks underfoot. You lay on your stomach, opening your book to the earmarked page you left off on.

Eddie puts his stuff next to you, giving you a wink before taking off his sandals. He pulls out his ponytail, slipping the hair tie on his wrist. And then he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his bare torso to you. You stare up at him as his arms raise above his head, eating up every inch of skin that comes into view. His tattoos are on full display, and you can't resist licking your lips when you see the trail of hair that runs from his chest all the way down until it disappears inside his swim trunks. "See something you like, baby?" He asks, a knowing smile playing on his face. Before you can answer, he runs like the wind into the water. He forces his legs through the resisting surface, until he eventually falls forward into the transparent depths. He pops his head out a moment later, flipping his hair backwards. He catches your eye, standing with the surface of the water resting at his shoulders.

"You comin' in, Y/N?" Dustin asks from the little cluster of towels he formed with Mike and the others. Gareth sets the boombox on a large rock near their spot, pushing play on one of Eddie's mixtapes. "Start Me Up" by The Rolling Stones begins to play, and Gareth turns the volume up.

"In a bit, I just want to read for a while first." You shout, yanking your eyes away from the direction of the water.

"Okay!" He calls back over the music, and the rest of the boys strip off their shirts and shoes to join your leader in the lake. They immediately start roughhousing, splashing around and doing handstands. You giggle at their antics, trying to focus on your novel for a bit. You open the cooler you brought with you, pulling out a beer. You crack it open, and take a nice long drink from it. It's icy cold, which is perfect with the sun beating down on you the way it is. You get through a few chapters of your book without being disturbed, but it doesn't take long for the guys to try to coax you into the water with them.

"C'mon, Y/N! Stop being boring and get in here!" Jeff calls with his hands around his mouth to increase volume.

"The water feels great!" Alex chimes in.

"Don't make us have to come get you, sweetheart!" Eddie shouts, giving you a devilish grin. Your eyes widen beneath your sunglasses. You know perfectly well that they can and will gang up on you to toss you into the lake.

You sigh, marking your place and setting down your book. "Fine! I'm coming!" You yell, standing to remove your cover-up. Just as you're on your own two feet, "Moving in Stereo" by The Cars kicks on. Time seems to slow down, like you're having your very own Phoebe Cates moment. You slide out of your flip-flops, and toss your sunglasses away without a care. You reach for the button of the black garment that's been hiding you away, pushing it through the hole. The fabric parts like the red sea, and you slip it off your shoulders. The thin material pools on your blanket, and your sexy bikini is fully exposed. All the boys are staring at you, eyes going wide as saucers when they see how gorgeous you look.

"Woah." They say in unison, and you can't help taking it as a massive compliment. You smile innocently, and start to dash towards the water. It's cold when it hits your toes, but you don't react at all. You just keep going, running as far as you can until the resistance takes you down the same as it did to the others. You let the cool water surround you for a moment, slowly turning your body around to pop out to the surface. You gasp in a deep breath of air once you breach, flipping your hair back like models do.

"Fuck, that’s cold!" You exclaim, making everyone laugh. Eddie drifts over to you, calmly kicking his feet below the surface. His arm brushes against your ass, making you whip around to look at him.

"Hey there, princess. Lookin' good." He says smoothly, flitting away like a waterbug as soon as the words leave his lips. You blush at his compliment, and you decide to swim in the opposite direction. You have no destination in mind, you just want to enjoy the water. When you stand up straight, the water goes up to your neck, but you can see all the way down. Beautiful stones lie beneath your feet, in bright blues and reds and greens. It's like you're swimming in a giant fishbowl, a little guppy flapping your fins to pass the time. You notice Eddie circling you, almost like a shark. He gets closer and closer with every rotation, his eyes glued to your form the whole time. He even dips his head under to get a better look at you, admiring every curve of your body. The rounds of your ass, and the swells of your tits. Your beautiful legs that he wants to spread so desperately.

You're surprised no one seems to be watching you two, glancing cautiously to find the other boys playing Marco Polo. He comes up behind you again, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Hey there, handsome." You greet him, pushing your ass against him slightly.

"You havin' fun, angel?" He asks lowly in your ear, barely concealing a groan from you backing into him. Despite the coldness of the water, Eddie found himself getting unbearably hard the second he saw how perfect you look in your swimsuit.

"Yes, the water feels amazing." You sigh, letting him pull you a little closer. His chest meets your back, and you can feel his stiff cock poking into you. "Is that a fish in your shorts, or are you just happy to see me?" You ask in a cheesy tone. Small chuckles leave your mouths at the poor joke.

"Oh, I'm very happy to see you, sweetheart. You're so fuckin' pretty in this, baby." Eddie says while feeling you up to emphasize his point. "Although, I have a feeling you look even better out of it." You moan quietly, savoring the feeling of his large hands wandering all over you.

"You're very sexy too, Eds. You look so good without your shirt on. Your tattoos are so hot, I just want to trace them all with my tongue." Your eyes slip closed for a moment, and you can't help letting your head fall back against his shoulder.

"You're lucky I'm keeping a lookout, darling. Gonna get us caught when you do that." He nibbles your earlobe, and squeezes your tits through your top. He's doing everything he can to make you melt, and it's definitely working. The sensations he's giving you are amplified immensely as the heat from your body clashes with the frigid waters surrounding you.

"Sorry, I'm just really enjoying what you're doing to me." You practically whine at him, which only revs him up further.

"So am I, Y/N." He replies, before pulling away from you when he senses someone about to look in your direction. You open your eyes again, fighting off a frown at the loss of Eddie's touch.

"What are you guys up to over there?" Mike asks, raising an eyebrow as he swore he saw you and Eddie getting real cozy a second ago.

"Nothing. Just talking." You lie, swimming over to join the rest of the group.

"Oh, okay. Well, we’re gonna start some chicken fights if you guys want to play." Mike offers.

"Oh, that sounds fun! I'm pretty good, too. Eddie, you wanna hold me on your shoulders?" You ask, pouting your lips to beg.

"Of course, princess. Hop on." Eddie smiles, lowering himself in the water so you can climb onto him. You slip your legs over his shoulders, and he holds you up firmly and safely. "Alright, who's going against us first?" He asks, looking around at the others.

"How about me and Gareth?" Dustin suggests.

"Sure." Gareth replies, mimicking Eddie's position to get Dustin on top of him.

Your two teams stand across from each other in the water, waiting for Jeff to tell you when to begin. "Ready?" He asks, looking to you and then to Dustin. You both nod, staring each other down as you prepare to push the other one over. "Okay, go!" Jeff shouts, and Eddie and Gareth meet in the middle. You hold Dustin's arms, shoving him down with ease. He falls backwards, splashing loudly into the water.

"Nice job, Y/N!" Eddie cheers, his right hand leaving your leg so you can give him a high five. "Alright, who's up next?" Eddie says with glee. You're smiling giddily at his competitiveness, he can't wait to beat every last one of these knuckleheads.

"I'll go with Mike." Alex says, saddling the scrawny kid on his shoulders. You return to position, and Jeff tells you to go again. You grab Mike by the wrists, jerking them around to throw him off balance. He puts up a good fight, but he eventually slips off as he can't keep a firm grip on Alex. Another loud splash signals your second victory.

"Woo! We win again! I told you I was good." You brag, ruffling Eddie's soaked hair.

"No way, they let you win 'cuz you're a girl." Jeff insists.

"Oh, you think so? Why don't you give it a try, Jeff?" You sneer, crossing your arms defiantly.

"Bring it on! I'm not afraid to take down a chick." He says, getting onto Gareth's shoulders. Alex counts you down this time, and your teams charge forward more aggressively than before. Jeff grips your elbows first, but you quickly slip from his grasp. You take hold of his wrists, crossing his arms over one another. He tries to break free, but you refuse to let go. Eddie tightens his grip to help hold you up, he can feel you slipping backwards in your efforts. Finally, you jerk Jeff's arms upwards, which sends him flailing into the water.

"What's that again about 'letting me win'?" You ask once Jeff resurfaces. He scowls at you, but you just smile nice and wide. Suddenly, Eddie tosses you backwards into the lake. You scream as you go down, splashing hard into the water. You pop back out a moment later, coughing as you get some up your nose. "What the hell?" You shout, a little annoyed at him throwing you like that.

"Oh, relax, princess. You got three wins, I figured you'd want a dip too." Eddie replies, reeling you in to give you a hug. You stiffen at first, before relaxing into his embrace. "No hard feelings, right?" He asks as he lets you go.

"Alright. I'm still the champion though." You state plainly, taking a deep breath. You let yourself sink to the bottom of the lake for a moment. You open your eyes, admiring the pretty rocks below as you blow bubbles through your nose. Eddie mirrors you, grinning happily when he sees your face. He looks so gorgeous like this, his thick hair splaying about like a merman, the sun dancing on the water in the most magical way. He swims over to you, capturing you in his arms. He strokes your cheek with a pruney hand, and gives you a gentle kiss. It doesn't last for more than a second or two, as you can't hold your breath very long. But it's very romantic, sending your heart aflutter.

You go back up for air, wondering where Eddie went off to. You don't see him, whipping around to look all around for his mop of hair. "BOO!" Eddie shouts as he springs up right behind you. You don't know how you didn't see him coming, he must be very good at staying right on your back. You scream bloody murder when he scares you, turning around to smack him repeatedly across the chest.

"Dammit, Eddie! You asshole! You scared the shit out of me!" You yell, drawing everyone's attention in your direction. Eddie laughs hysterically, shielding himself from you splashing water at him.

"Man, I got you good, huh?" He cackles, making the others laugh too. You keep shoving water towards him, falling into your own fit of giggles.

"You're lucky I don't kick your ass, Munson!" You squeal, jumping to tackle him into the water. You both go under again, with you on top of him. His hands immediately grab your waist, and you're practically straddling him. You give him a kiss of your own, harsher and hungrier than his. You bite his bottom lip roughly, before pulling away to return to the surface. Eddie follows close behind you, swallowing air in large gulps since you caught him off guard.

"Jesus, you tryin' to drown me?" He asks jokingly.

"Not at all, Eds. Just getting even." You smirk, casually swimming away from him as this little game is over.

"You guys are laying it on a little thick today, don't you think?" Mike asks, noticing how overly playful you're being. It's not the typical 'Y/N is one of the guys' kind of play. This...is flirting.

You ignore his statement, deciding to take a break from the water. You work your way to the shore, slowly fighting against that resistance once more until you can easily jog out to your blanket. You lay down in your spot, reaching for your sunglasses to keep the light out of your eyes. You close your eyes, sighing blissfully in the warmth shining down upon you. A moment later, you feel cold water dripping onto your face. "Mind if I join you?" Eddie asks, and you see him peering at you.

"You really gotta ask?" You chuckle, patting a free spot on your blanket. He lays down beside you, sneakily taking your hand in his. It's such a simple touch, but it makes you want so much more. "Do you have any idea how badly I want you right now?" You say casually, trying to make it look like you're having a normal conversation.

"I think so...I'd bet I want you even more, though." He replies, turning his head to look at you closely. His eyes scan over the little droplets of water on your cheeks and chin, and your damp hair clinging to your head. His pupils wander down your body, memorizing every last inch of you. He lifts himself slightly to see what the kids are up to. He finds they're back to playing Marco Polo, except everyone has their eyes closed instead of just the person who is 'it'. "You wanna sneak off into the woods with me? The idiots seem to be distracted at the moment." You meet his gaze at this suggestion, finding a blazing fire of wanting there.

"I'll repeat myself. Do you really have to ask?" You quip, quickly standing up with him. You slip on your shoes, and he takes your hand as you slink away from the group. You follow the trail at first, before heading into the trees. You're both giggling like mad, finding a decent spot. It's not too far away from the trail so you won't get lost, but back behind it enough so nobody will see you. Eddie's quick to push you against the thick trunk of one of the trees, and he takes your sunglasses off before kissing you roughly. You moan against him, reaching down to stroke his dick through his wet bathing suit.

"Fuck, someone's needy." He groans, moving on to nip on your neck.

"Well, can you blame me?" You chuckle lowly. Eddie's own hands go behind your back, pulling you forward slightly to reach for the clip holding your top together.

"Can I?" He asks, somehow unsure if this is what you really want.

"Yes, please." You whine, squeezing him a little harder to egg him on. He opens the clasp, and the bikini top falls to the ground like it's nothing at all. Your tits are exposed to the air, your nipples hardening in arousal.

Eddie stares at your chest for a moment, slowly bringing his hands to cup your breasts. "You're beautiful, sweetheart." He says, in total awe of you. You whimper at the sensation of his fingers rolling your sensitive buds. "Does that feel good, angel?" He asks while watching your pretty face twist in pleasure with every move he makes.

"Yes, so fucking good. But I want more." You arch your back, reflexively trying to bring your pussy closer to his cock.

"Relax, baby. We'll get to that soon enough." Eddie coos. He presses you against the tree again with just the right amount of pressure, bending down slightly to bring his mouth to your left breast. His tongue swirls around the pebbled flesh, before biting just hard enough to make you moan.

"Eddie." You're about to ask him to stop teasing, when you notice him slowly lowering to his knees. He leaves hot, wet kisses along the way until he reaches the waistband of your bottoms. You step out of your shoes, and he grips the material with both hands to pull it down. You watch wordlessly as he exposes your cunt, kicking the little piece of fabric away.

"You ever had someone go down on you before?" He asks, lifting your right leg to rest over his shoulder. He gets a perfect view of your dripping pussy, his eyes widening in wonderment.

"No, you're my first, Eds." You say with a kind smile, caressing his cheek to show him how much this moment means to you.

"Damn, well, I hope I'm not being cocky when I say you're gonna love it." He says cheekily.

"Since it's you, I'm sure I will." You reply, eagerly waiting to feel his lips and tongue on your most sensitive areas. He nods, a light blush rising in his cheeks at your encouragement. He moves your standing leg further out slightly, and then he brings his face in front of your core. His breath fans against it, making you shiver. He finally puts his mouth on you, licking quick circles around your clit. "Oh my god!" You cry out, you've never felt anything like this before. His mouth is so warm, and his tongue works at the perfect speed. He paints long stripes from your bundle of nerves to your entrance, occasionally dipping inside to stroke your g spot. "I know I don't have anything to compare it to, but you're really good at this."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, baby." Eddie says briefly before continuing his work. Your hands tangle in his hair, holding him as close to you as humanly possible. Your hips repeatedly buck against him, and you use the tree trunk as leverage to keep from falling over. You can feel your orgasm building up fast, it seems Eddie's very talented at giving head.

"Your tongue is so fuckin' good, Eds. Keep going, you're gonna make me cum." As soon as the words leave your mouth, Eddie pushes two fingers into your pussy to work in tandem with his tongue swirling figure eights around your clit. Your grip tightens on his head, and your nails dig into his scalp. He groans against you at the sting, sending overwhelming vibrations through your lower half. "God, do that again." You plead, and he happily obeys you.

"Mmm." He moans into your folds, louder and rougher than before. Your pelvis jolts at the sensation. He does it again. And again. His cock strains harder in his trunks at the sounds he pulls from you each time. You're just on the precipice, all you need is one more. He anticipates your needs, humming stronger than ever before. That, paired with his digits hitting your sweet spot as his mouth sucks onto your clit, sends you flying over the edge.

"Eddie!" You cry out, letting go of his head to grab helplessly at the tree you're leaning against. He holds your legs steady so you don't fall over, squeezing slightly as your thighs shake. Waves of bliss have overtaken you, and your eyes meet his while you ride out your high. He swallows every last drop of your cum that he can, a dribble of it running down his chin. He drinks in all the fucked-out expressions that cross your face, committing them to memory.

Eddie slowly stands up once your body relaxes, and he kisses you deeply. You moan at the taste of yourself on his lips, holding him as close as you can. "You did so well, sweetheart. And you taste amazing, I could do that all day." He praises once he breaks away.

"I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime." You reply with a smile. "But right now...it's your turn." You carefully spin the two of you around, so Eddie's back is against the tree now. You give him another kiss, letting your hands caress his bare chest. Your mouth moves on to his neck, nipping ever so slightly on his flesh.

"Y/N." He groans at the sensation, his eyes rolling shut. You begin to travel downwards, littering his chest with more kisses and light bites that won't leave a mark. You do as you said you wanted to earlier, tracing the outline of his tattoos with your tongue. First the spider, then the demon-zombie thing, and then you gingerly take his right arm in your hands. The wet muscle in your mouth drags along the wyvern, and the puppet master, ending with all the little bats on his forearm. He makes the sweetest whimpers and moans as you work, forcing his eyes open to observe you worshiping him.

"I love how much noise you make, Eds. It’s really hot." You know it's kind of a thing that most men don't like to make any sound at all, short of the occasional grunt. But to hear this man in particular allow himself to vocally express his pleasure feels so intimate and special. You've learned time and again that Eddie is no ordinary man, and this instance serves as further evidence of that fact.

"It's all for you, angel." He breathes heavily, waiting for you to make your next move. You get onto your knees, leaves and sticks pressing into them. You plant more whispering kisses on his stomach, even going so far as to dip your tongue into his navel. He moans again, making you grin. Your hands reach for the drawstrings of his trunks, quickly undoing the perfect knot he tied earlier. The thin strings lay limp now, and you grip the sides of the fabric to pull the shorts down his legs. His dick springs free, slapping against his stomach. Eddie kicks the shorts away once they reach his ankles, and you place one hand on his thigh while taking hold of his length in the other. "Fuck." He grips the tree behind him as best he can, waiting for you to take him in your mouth.

You stroke him lightly, taking a moment to admire the shape of him. He's certainly larger than the others (though it doesn't take much to achieve that), a bit thicker too. He feels so velvety soft in your hand, and you like how he has a slight upward curve. "Your dick is really pretty, Eddie." You observe out loud, drawing a laugh from him.

"Well, that's the first time I've heard that before." He chuckles, looking down at you curiously.

"Is that weird to say?" You ask, feeling your cheeks heat up at the idea of ruining the mood.

"Not at all, princess. It's just...different. But that's what I admire about you. And I appreciate any compliment coming from you, especially about that. Believe it or not, I may have a bit of an ego." He jokes, giving you a kind glance.

"No shit!" You laugh, your embarrassment melting away at his reassuring words. You stop messing around, you're sure Eddie finds your snail's pace a bit torturous at this point. You focus on the task at hand, starting with little swirling licks around his tip.

"Fuck, Y/N. More...please." He begs, needing to feel your hot, wet mouth around him. You grant his request, taking as much of him as you can. You continue to stroke what doesn't fit with your hand, twisting just right while you bob your head back and forth. "Feels so good, baby." He says through a moan, watching his inches disappear behind your pretty lips. He resists the urge to hold your head down to fuck your face, enjoying every lick and bit of suction you're giving him. "I'm not sure how much experience you have, but you're very good at this, sweetheart."

You slip off of him a moment, quickening the pace of your hand to hold him over. Your palm spreads your saliva back and forth while you speak. "Oh, you know how guys are. They love having their cock sucked, it's practically all they talk about." He raises an eyebrow at you, almost offended. "Not you, obviously. But you know what I mean. So I've got a few blowjobs under my belt, and...maybe I practiced on various objects so I could do this...for you." You avert your gaze again, unable to believe you just admitted to such a thing.

"All that effort, just for me?" He asks, like it's the most impossible thing he's ever heard. For you to go to such lengths to please him, he can't help loving you even more than he did previously.

"Of course, Eddie. Because you're worth it." You state matter-of-factly, bringing this conversation to a close by returning your mouth to his dick. You push yourself to fit him all in, gagging slightly when he hits the back of your throat.

"Fucking christ." Eddie mutters. The back of his head thumps against the tree as you continue to gag on him. Your eyes are watering, and you force yourself to breathe through your nose. You want to do everything you can to make the man whimpering above you lose control, to taste his cum spilling into your mouth. "Keep going if you can, baby. I'm getting really close. Such a good girl for me." Eddie pants, reaching down to stroke your hair without forcing you to choke on him. It's a gentle touch, only intended to provide encouragement and praise. His words and sounds and caring hand are making you so wet. Your arousal drips onto the ground below you, forming the tiniest of puddles in the dirt.

"Mmm." You moan around his cock, your insides aching to invite him in. His hips buck forwards at the vibrations, choking you slightly. You look up at him as his stomach begins to tense. He's got one hand in your hair, the other extended as far up the tree as he can reach. His fingers claw helplessly at the bark, and the look on his face is priceless. His brow is furrowed, his eyes screwed shut. But his mouth sits open just enough to let out what you can only describe as beautifully vulgar music. Various curses and expressions of your name make up the lyrics, and if it weren't for his inevitable release, you'd want to hear it for the rest of your days.

"Y/N, I'm gonna...fuck!" He grunts, interrupted within his own thoughts by overwhelming pleasure. His toes curl against the natural debris on the ground, and his knees threaten to give out. He bucks into you once, twice, three times while his load flows down your esophagus. You keep yourself from panicking from the sensation, breathing heavily through your nostrils as you brush against his mound of hair. You swallow every last drop of him, slowly pulling yourself off his length when Eddie's hands fall limply at his sides. You gulp in a few breaths, and gradually get off your knees. They've got indentations from the rocks and sticks you were kneeling on, but you don't mind one bit. Once you're level with him, Eddie pulls you in real close to give you a thankful kiss. "You were amazing, darling." He says with a satisfied smirk.

"Thank you." You blush, failing to swallow a pleased giggle. His arms rest around your lower back, just above your ass. Your own are sitting on his shoulders, and you're both just standing naked in the woods. Bodies pressed together, smiling and sharing more kisses. You stay like this for a while, until you feel Eddie's dick poking into your stomach as he's grown hard again. You bite your lip, a devious look in your eye as you speak nice and low when you pull away from another kiss. "I want you inside me, Eds." You slip your hand between your sandwiched bodies, taking hold of him and dragging his tip along your folds.

"You don't have to tell me twice, sweetheart." Eddie replies in a husky tone, his eyes dilating with lust to match your own. He doesn't move for a moment, savoring the feeling of your soaked pussy lubing him up. His eyes flutter shut, face falling forward. You let out muted moans as his head brushes your clit, it feels so fucking good. But you know this teasing will only push you both further into neediness. He stops your movements, and rotates the pair of you again. He holds his cock in his hand, bending down slightly so he can angle himself into you. "You ready, princess?" He asks, pressing his tip at your entrance while looking to you for confirmation.

"Yes, baby." You reply, barely above a whisper. Without a moment's hesitation, Eddie pushes his length into your velvet walls. You both groan loudly at the sensation. He fills you up perfectly, and your pussy hugs him so deliciously. He takes his time before bottoming out. "You're so big, Eddie." You whine, needing a moment to adjust.

"And your pussy is so tight, Y/N." He murmurs, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist before standing fully upright. His hands hold the bottoms of your thighs, and you instinctively put your arms around him to hold on. You clench around him involuntarily at his movements, making him gasp. "Fuck, you're so wet for me."

"Just for you, baby. You can start moving now." You give him the go ahead now that you've relaxed. He slowly pulls out, before slipping back in easily. He slides against your g spot, and you want him to do it again. "More. I need you, Eds." You beg, digging your heels into his back to bring him closer, if that's even possible. He repeats the action, except he hits your sweet spot harder when he thrusts back in. "Just like that, oh, god. Feels so good." You're making the most pathetic noises you've ever uttered, and of course it's Eddie that is the only one who can pull them from you.

He listens intently to everything you say, maintaining the same speed and force behind his thrusts to meet your expectations. "Who makes you feel this good, angel?" Eddie inquires darkly, his eyes trained on your desperate face.

"You do." You reply, unsure where he's going with this. It's sexy as hell regardless. A knot begins to form within you, growing larger and tighter with every slam of Eddie's dick into your cunt.

"And I'm better than all the other guys?" He asks, though it doesn't come out like a question. More so like a fact, one he wants you to agree with over anything else. His eyes burn intensely into you, expecting an answer as his pace kicks up a notch.

You meet his gaze as fully and honestly as possible, wanting to show him how right he is in his statement. "Yes. You're better than Steve, and Jason, and everyone else. None of them compare to you. Fuck me harder, Eddie. Show me just how much better you are." You moan at all the right words to set him off, and he unleashes the inner beast on you. He hammers his cock upwards into you, the sound of your soaked pussy and the slapping of skin mingling with your grunts and whines. Your tits bounce at the force, making Eddie's eyes boggle. "Yes, just like that, baby." The knot is tangling more and more, gearing up for a monumental snap.

"That's right, sweetheart. I'm the best you've ever had. Got you begging me to pound into this pretty pussy of yours, taking my cock so well like a good girl. I never wanna hear those other names again, Y/N. Only mine, because you're mine." He almost growls as he spouts off the filthiest things you've ever heard. He's claiming you as his, and you have every intention of allowing him to do so any way he pleases.

"All yours." You moan in response, getting closer and closer to an unbelievable climax. The bark of the tree is scratching roughly against your skin, you're sure to have marks on your back once you're finished. But you don't care about your friends finding out anymore. You want to scream your love for Eddie from the mountaintops at this point, telling the world who you belong to. "I'm so close, Eds. Make me cum, I want you to feel it. I want you to see just how fuckin' amazing you are." You plead while holding his stare, so he knows you mean every word with the utmost sincerity.

Eddie eats up all of your confessions with enthusiasm. To hear you match his vulgarity is almost enough to make him lose it right here and now. He could listen to you say X-rated things all damn day, they sound like pure poetry coming from your lips. His rhythm is getting sloppy as he nears the end with you, and the obscene amount of sweat coating your bodies is making it difficult to keep a good grip on each other. "God, I love it when you talk dirty. I'm right there with you, angel. Do you want me to cum inside you? I'd really love to fill you up, and watch my load drip back out of you once we're done."

"Yes, please. That sounds perfect." You reply, digging your nails into what you can reach of Eddie's slick flesh. He groans at the pleasurable sting, and presses his lips to yours as he picks up speed. He's drilling into you, the rough edges of the treebark on your back cutting deeper, drawing blood. You can't be bothered to care, as the knot in your belly finally splinters into a million little threads through your body. You break away from his kiss, gasping as you hit your peak. "Eddie!" You scream, feeling yourself clamping down on Eddie's cock. You're overwhelmed with absolute bliss, it ricochets through you ruthlessly. Your eyes fall shut, your mouth hanging open as you let out pitiful noises through your orgasm.

"Shit, Y/N. I'm gonna cum. Gonna fill your beautiful pussy up so well. Then I'll clean you up with my tongue, taste how good we are together. I'll let you taste it too- FUCK!" He shouts, his pelvis rutting upwards while he paints your insides just like you asked him to. He holds on to your shaking thighs as firmly as he can, one wrong move and you'll both tumble to the ground. His expression twists into the same one from his blowjob earlier, completely helpless for a few moments as you ride out your highs together. You're left breathing heavily in each other's faces, hot and humid. Your hearts pound in your chests, you can feel them exchanging rapid ba-thumps through your ribs.

Eddie pulls out, and sets you down gently. You can already feel your mixed release oozing out of your cunt. He gets on his knees again, his hands gripping your thighs to keep your legs spread apart. He watches as a milky white drip falls from your soaked hole to the ground below. He doesn't want to waste anymore of the sweet nectar, so he brings his starving mouth to your folds. His tongue dips inside you, scooping out as much of your cum as he can into his mouth. He moans at the taste, sending a shock to your core. "Fuck, baby." You whimper, still feeling the aftermath of your high which leaves you overly sensitive. He gathers as much of the sticky substance as he can muster, swallowing some, and holding the rest to give to you.

"Open." He says with his mouth half-full as he stands up straight. You do as he says, and he gives you another kiss to effectively transfer the fluid to your taste buds. It's so sweet, with just a tinge of saltiness. You swallow every last drop he gives to you, moaning at the flavor, and how debauched this act is.

"Damn, we taste good." You comment, sharing a light chuckle. Eddie backs up from you to redress, and it's here that the sting of the scratches all over your back starts to get to you. "Ouch." You whimper, trying to turn around to get a glimpse of the damage.

"Oh my god!" Eddie exclaims when he sees the cuts and scrapes all over your delicate skin. He holds your sides to inspect you further, shaking his head. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't wanna hurt you." Remorse laces his voice, but you whip around to reassure him that it's not his fault.

"Eds, it's fine. It can't be that bad, just needs some bactine and bandages, right?" You say sweetly, smiling to cover up for how sore the bloodied scribbles are.

"I suppose...but they guys are definitely gonna know I fucked your brains out now." He jokes, making you giggle.

"I don't care about that anymore." You say simply, taking hold of his hand for a second while you bask in your naked afterglow.

His eyes widen, unable to believe you actually said that. "Really?"

"Really, Eds. We were gonna tell them anyway, and I'm sure they'll be happy for us."

"I'm so glad you said that, sweetheart. I know it's been fun to sneak around, but it's also kinda stressful." He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It really is. Look, let's get dressed and go back to the lake. We can face them and confirm their suspicions. Sound good?" You offer, bending down to pick up the individual pieces of your bikini.

"Sounds great, Y/N.'' He replies, retrieving his swim trunks. He slips them on easily, giving time for him to help you with the clasp on your top.

Once you're dressed, you slip into your shoes and make the trip back to your group. You find them all sitting on their cluster of towels and blankets, waiting for you. "Well, look who it is! The lovebirds have returned after abandoning the party!" Gareth says snarkily, but you and Eddie just smile like dopes at his jabs.

"And don't even try to make up some lame excuse. You guys were gone way too long for any bullshit you're about to say." Jeff adds, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Alright, alright! You caught us! We've been sneaking around the last couple days, but only because you guys don't know when to shut the fuck up!" You explain, squeezing Eddie's hand that you've been holding this whole time.

"But if you must know, we're hopelessly, disgustingly in love." Eddie says, fighting off a maddening blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Hell yeah!" Dustin cheers, coming over to give you both a hug. The others join in, crowding your sweaty bodies in a large huddle.

"Okay, okay. Careful, Y/N's got a ton of scratches on her back." Eddie warns when you wince at multiple hands meeting your scraped flesh.

"The hell did you do to her, Munson?" Alex asks, quirking and eyebrow at Eddie.

"He did a lot of things, but this is from a tree...that I may have been pressed up against." You admit, your own cheeks going rosy to match your boyfriend's.

"Oh, ew! I don't wanna hear about that!" Mike says, plugging his ears and making obnoxious noises to block out any further comments.

"Okay, I think we've said enough. Let's go back to camp. We can have lunch, and I'll help Y/N with her injuries." Eddie announces the plan, and everyone gathers up their belongings to go back down the trail to the campsite.

"We're really happy for you guys, by the way." Dustin adds as you walk together in a clump, yours and Eddie's hands still entwined. The others add various expressions of agreement, all of which make your heart soar. To have the overwhelming approval of your friends is so sweet, and you appreciate everyone being so cool about it now. You look over at Eddie, finding his doeish eyes gazing back at you.

"I love you, Eds." You say quietly, smiling harder than you think you've ever done before.

"I love you too, princess." Eddie replies, leaning over to give you a light kiss as you keep walking. Your friends make exaggerated kissy noises with their mouths, flapping their tongues lewdly. But you just laugh it off, their teasing can't bother you anymore. Because you know it's done with love, and that this moment can't be spoiled by any amount of jokes or comments. As long as you have Eddie, nothing else matters.

The end.

[thezombieprostitute]

What's Mine

Summary: Bucky pushes you too far and decides to explain how your situation works. Or doesn't.

Word Count: ~2.3 k

Warnings: Dark Fic, Implied dub/non con, Power imbalance. Please let me know if I missed any.

Previous Part

It's been a few months since Bucky "claimed" you. He followed up on his promises of taking care of you. You frequently woke up to some surprise gift or another. One day it was a fully stocked kitchen. Another day it was the leak in the bathroom sink getting fixed. More than a few times it's been jewelry with his initials on it.

And all it cost was letting him use you. You swear a piece of your soul dies every time he makes you cum. Every time he coats you in his semen. Every time you match his fervor. It might not be so bad if he didn't gloat every time. That damn smirk haunted your dreams. Or was it nightmares? What was the difference anymore?

It had definitely affected your standing in the community. People were scared to interact with you. Fewer parents brought their kids to the library when you were there. Ruth and her friends had no problems calling you all sorts of degrading things under their breath. You definitely caught them giving you the evil eye more than a few times.

Part of you suspected that if you'd quit trying to fight him he'd lose interest. He liked when you were in a fiery mood. If you could just give in, give up, he'd likely stop using you. But you couldn't help yourself. You hated him. You hated yourself for enjoying the pleasure he gave. That hate needed an outlet.

You pull into your driveway, no longer surprised to see Bucky's bike there as well. You sigh, wondering if you can talk him into to leaving. You're exhausted. Walking into the house you don't even have a chance to take your jacket off before Bucky is on you.

"Bucky, please no. I'm just too tired."

He chuckles, "don't worry. I'm just really happy to see you. We're going out tonight."

You sigh, "I'd rather stay in."

"Then that means you have the energy for me all night."

"Ugh, fine. Where are we going?"

"I've got you an appointment at the tattoo parlor."

"WHAT?! I hate tattoos! I can't get any!"

He smiles as he growls at you, "you're going to get a tattoo just for me. No one else is going to be able to see it, but we'll know it's there."

"Isn't the jewelry enough of your 'ownership'? You even got me a brooch for my cardigans with your initials!"

Bucky licks his lips, "it was just the beginning, Doll. So far everything I've done to mark you are things that can wash away or heal up. This is the next step."

"I refuse," you declare, crossing your arms.

"Fuck, Doll, you're getting me riled up." He puts his arms on each side of your head, boxing you in against the wall. "And you're getting that damn tattoo. We can either go now, while you're still cleaned up, or after I've fucked your brains out and you're a cum covered mess."

"Fine," you drop your head. "Let's go to the tattoo parlor."

"Not yet." He grabs you chin and makes your look at him. "You need to thank me, first, Doll."

Bile rises at the back of your throat. "Thank you for letting me preserve my dignity."

He laughs. "Give me another," he taunts, using the same voice as when he's telling you to give him another orgasm. You hate yourself for the involuntarily clench your pussy does.

"Thank you, Bucky, for...for introducing me to Bunny. It is nice to have a friend." A friend who understands how fucked you both are, you think.

That gets a more sincere smile on his face. "It is important to me that you know my best friend and his girl. I'm glad you're good to them. Bunny is gonna need you when she's pregnant."

"What are friends for," you dryly reply.

"That's my good girl, Doll."

The tattoo is pretty much what you expected. His initials, right over your heart. If you wore anything low cut, it would be obvious. You were sure that was the point: can't even show a hint of skin without reminding everyone who it actually belongs to. At least it wouldn't be a problem at work, given you always dress conservatively.

By the time you're home Bucky is practically salivating at the memory of the tattoo on your chest. He might be eager to see this permanent mark of his claim on you but at least he's willing to follow instructions for proper care so it doesn't scar or make you sick. You made sure to thank him for that, knowing he likes to hear it, and he reiterates, "I take care of what's mine."

"Any chance I can just get some sleep tonight? I wasn't lying when I said I was tired."

"I'm all worked up, Doll."

"I thought you take care of what's yours," you snap back. "How is keeping me awake, not letting get good sleep, taking care of me?"

He grips your chin and gives you a thoughtful look. "I suppose you're right," he admits. "Even a vibrator's batteries gotta recharge every so often, right?" You roll your eyes and he grins. "But I'm going to hold you all night and when you wake up, it's on. I know you don't work tomorrow."

"Is that why you helped with my budget? So I'd have more free time to be your personal toy?" You can't fight the fire in your voice. You're tired, yes. Tired of being so angry all the time.

"Aww, you admit you're mine," he teases.

Unable to hold back any longer you smack his face. "I have never been so angry or tired as I have been since you showed up. You want to take care of me? You want me to be yours? Treat me like a fucking person!" Tears are pouring out of your eyes, the stress and frustration of the months finally finding a kind of release.

Bucky glowers at you and grabs your throat with his metal arm. "You shouldn't have done that, Doll."

"I don't care anymore," you croak.

That seems to catch him off guard as his hand loosens and his face softens.

"Oh, Doll," he shakes his head. "You really should've said something sooner." You squeeze your eyes shut as more tears start falling. He removes his hand from your throat and brings you in for a hug, causing you to cry even more. He pats your hair and coos, "there, there," until you can't cry any more.

"Let's get you to bed," he says quietly.

"I...I don't...I don't understand."

He gently lifts your chin, "you know, before Bunny ran, I tried to warn Steve he was being too controlling. That she was going to bolt. He didn't listen and, sure enough, she escaped. Wouldn't surprise me if she continued to try because he hasn't learned to loosen his grip. I don't plan on repeating his mistakes. Yes, you're mine and you'll never be rid of me. But that doesn't mean I can't be benevolent."

You sniffle as your brain tries to comprehend the sudden change in his demeanor.

"Now lets make sure that tattoo is properly cared for," he says with a soft kiss to your forehead.

"I...I hit you," you stammer.

"You're over-stressed and tired," he shrugs. "If I thought you were doing it just because you wanted to hurt me, yes, there would be repercussions. But I've apparently been overworking my poor Doll, so I'll forgive that one smack." His tone at that last part implies any more attempts to lash out at him will be punished.

"Thank you, Bucky," you murmur as you hang your head.

"Mmmm. That's more like it. Now let's get you to bed and tomorrow we'll work on your communication skills."

You wake up feeling like you're hungover without having had any alcohol. The delicious smells of breakfast lure you out of the bed, even though you dread meeting the cook.

Bucky's shirtless and smiling as he works. If you were in anything close to a healthy relationship you'd smile at how happy he is. Instead you keep your head down, trying not to think about that metal hand wrapped around your neck. About how those muscles feel pressed against your back, or on top of you.

He sees you and gestures for you to sit at the table. He brings you a plate of breakfast, a mug of coffee and kisses the top of your head before sitting across from you. You don't eat right away like he does, lost in your confusion about this change in behavior.

"Eat, Doll," he orders. "I didn't stock your kitchen and cook this up just for you to let it go cold."

"What is going on?" your voice is barely above a whisper.

"I'm taking care of my girl," he answers, nonchalantly. You look at him like you've never seen him before and he sighs. "Eat, or I will force it down your throat."

You grab a slice of the toast and start chewing. "Thank you, Bucky," you grumble and he nods in his approval.

"One of the differences between me and Cap is that I know I'm a monster," he tells you between bites. "He likes to think we've done all of this to keep his girl safe and give her the life she always wanted. I know better. But we've been best friends since we were kids. Ride or die, you know? So I'm always going to have his back. I've just made peace with the fact that it means ruining lives."

"You never tried to talk him out of it? Out of taking over an entire town?"

He shakes his head. "Steve's the kind of guy who can never be talked or distracted from his goal. One of the things I find endearing about him."

"So, he gets you all to take over everything here and you, what? Enjoy the spoils?" Feeling the bile rise at the back of your throat, you go for another slice of toast to try to settle your stomach while keeping Bucky happy.

"It's a balance," he grins. "We take over and just start doing whatever the hell we want, a lot of people are going to die trying to get rid of us. So we set up some rules for our men. People will remain upset, of course, but they're less likely to 'rise up' so long as we have a level of restraint. It's, honestly, the biggest part of my job as Cap's second."

You think on this for a minute, mindlessly eating. "I get why the town, but why me?"

He shrugs, "I needed the stress relief. It ain't easy keeping a crew in line and I was initially just hoping for a quiet spot to read to calm down. Then I started watching you. Saw you expertly handle all kinds of difficulties. When you snapped at me, I figured, like me, you could use some stress relief."

"Stress relief?!" He gives you a look that has you clamming up.

"And fuck you were so good," he muses. "That first photo is still the background on my phone." Heat rushes to your face. "I decided to go ahead and keep you as mine. You're not only a good fuck, but you were quick to befriend Bunny. Everyone else who sees her with Cap has decided to avoid her. Something I know you've been experiencing, even though you haven't told me." You look down, unable to say anything. "I honestly thought you liked the rough treatment and was happy to give it, but I'm guessing we hit a limit for you."

"You branded me," you snarl.

"No, I got you a tattoo. Branding is something else and would've hurt you a lot more." His tone is stern and you return your attention to your food. "You've played a critical role in helping me keep things under control. Plus, since you're my girl, you get some privileges and protections. You think Steve would've beaten up Walker for some random librarian? No. But for his best friend's girl? That's another story."

"So, you're just going to keep using me?"

"Yes," he nods. "And now that I know more about your limits, I'm less likely to get stabbed in my sleep."

You look at him, aghast, "that's why you never stayed the night before?"

Bucky chuckles, "so smart. I love it. And now that you have more information, hopefully you're smart enough to put the rest of the pieces together."

"If I hurt you, Steve drops everything to find and kill me. Probably painfully." He nods. "If I make you angry, you're likely to take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it or you lose control of your men for long enough that they hurt someone who doesn't deserve it." He nods again, smiling at you. "And if I stop playing along like everything is okay, it's another sign to the townsfolk that might set them over the edge and have them shooting, getting hurt, or worse."

Bucky finishes his breakfast, nodding at your conclusions. "God, I love that you're so smart. Makes a lot of this so much easier." You start sniffling and he reaches across the table to gently grip your chin. "I get that this is a lot to take in, Doll. But I know you'll make the right decision. If you really didn't care about this town, you'd have left when you only had a skeleton budget. You're willing to work yourself to the bone to take care of these people, you're willing to be mine to keep them safe."

"I can't say 'no'," you whimper.

"But it doesn't have to be all bad. Remember, I take care of what's mine."

Previous Part

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Harry’s life at the Dursley makes me extra side when I remember he was a baby when he came to them. It makes me wonder when did he start sleeping in the cupboard?

And then I spiral and think about Harry calling Petunia mom when he is three years old. How did she raise him until he became a kid? And I think about him doing art during Mother and Father’s Day for his uncle and his aunt and them throwing it in the bin. Did he try to listen Petunia read a story to Dudley? Did he ever learn how to swim with school and he just never learnt?

And it makes me so, so sad.

It is. Everything about Harry's childhood breaks my heart. I already talked about it here and here.

We actually have a very depressing answer about the swimming lessons bit from GoF:

He wasn’t a very good swimmer; he’d never had much practice. Dudley had had lessons in his youth, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, no doubt hoping that Harry would drown one day, hadn’t bothered to give him any.

Which I take to mean he had maybe, like, two or three lessons for swimming at school and that's it.

As for the other stuff, I don't remember direct answers so you're going to hear my headcanons:

1. I think Harry never called Petunia "mom". When he was a baby he still could remember his mother and as he grew up he got used to calling her "Aunt Petunia" so he never called her mom except for maybe one time on accident when he was 3 or 4 which he was screamed at for: "I'm not you're mother, Freak!" and probably also slapped for.

2. I think when he was very very young, like, younger than 2-3 Petunia did put more effort in keeping him alive immediately after her sister's death and with Dumbledore's letter/threat fresh in her mind. But slowly she saw nothing happened and no one came when she treated Harry badly, so it emboldened the Duesleys.

I also think Harry started showing magic at a very young age, like 4-5, and when he did, Petunia and Vernon moved him to the cupboard and their treatment of him worsened even more.

After all, Petunia remembers her childhood with Lily who could do magic, she would recognize it for what it is — and she and Vernone are terrified of it. That's why the moment Harry showed signs of magic I believe they moved him to the cupboard to keep him away from Dudley.

3. The idea you brought up about little Harry making a family drawing of him with the Dursleys and Petunia scrunching her nose before throwing it in the bin in front of Harry's face.... shit, that's so sad and I'm sure it happened. I just imagine baby Harry's face, all proud of his drawing and not fully understanding the Dursleys yet with his cute nose and big green eyes and he would be so disappointed. I don't think he'd cry though. I think by that point he learned Vernon and Petunia don't like him crying.

4. I think the next year he drew himself with how he imagines his parents to be and he hides it from the Dursleys because Harry's a fast learner. I'm sure he spent nights dreaming about who his parents were from the very little information he got out of Petunia.

5. I can definitely see a young Harry crouching near Dudley's bedroom door as Petunia tells him a story. And then when she's done, he'd run away quickly so he won't be caught.

6. As a bit of a continuation of sneaking around to listen to bedtime stories, I think watching television at the Dursleys was similar. We know from canon Harry did use the time the Dursleys were away to watch television or play on Dudley's computer:

“You could just leave me here,” Harry put in hopefully (he’d be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley’s computer) .

(PS)

Though I don't think the Dursleys allowed him to do it, he just got good at sneaking around when they're not there. I'm saying that since Harry mentions Mrs. Figg lets him watch television:

She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she’d had it for several years.

(PS)

So it seems he wasn't usually allowed to watch television or play on Dudley's computer. I think the way Harry watches television when the Dursleys are home is by standing at the doorway and watching without them noticing (that's why he can't pick what to watch). I mean, we kinda see him doing it in OotP when he lays beneath the window to listen to the news on their television without them knowing.

Yeah, Harry's childhood was so depressing and I think the books actually portray him and how his childhood affected him well considering the books were limited in what they were allowed to show. I think the signs of trauma and abuse are clear if you look for them, even if they're not all called out in an obvious manner.

Writing this post just made me super sad now for Harry. My boy deserved so much better.

[aurumacadicus]

Don't forget, you can find more of this under my 'arranged witching au' tag!

--

He was even hotter up close, Tony lamented, curling his hands into fists in his lap. Rogers' hair looked golden in the candlelight, and it seemed to make the blue of his eyes pop more. He was built like a brick house, too, and Tony hadn't even known he found that attractive until Rogers had handed his shield off to one of the footmen like it weighed nothing and the footman had staggered with it, his own muscles straining to hold it off the floor.

Nomadic covens were used to hard labor. If they settled in a place, it was only for a few years, and then they left before their magic could truly take root. The downside to this was that they'd never be as powerful as a rooted coven. On the other hand, a witch was only as strong as their roots where they were rooted, so unless they were on their own property, they would find the nomads had the upper hand in a fight.

He'd never thought about what that 'hard labor' would entail, nor that he might... have to appreciate it. It wasn't a chore to appreciate.

Tony gripped his hands tighter, until he could feel his nails biting into his palms, and tried to focus on what Rogers and his father were talking about. It was difficult. Howard had cast a muddling spell to keep their conversation from being overheard. He comforted himself with the knowledge that Rogers seemed to be the only person who could hear him--even his mother appeared to be having difficulty following along. Rogers's coven-mates weren't even pretending they could understand.

Rogers set something on the table between them, and Tony didn't even pretend he wasn't craning his head to see what it was. He felt a flush of ice through his veins as he saw the skull and tentacles branded into the piece of burnt leather. He'd only seen it once before, when his mother had brought a bundle of old things that included a medallion like it to a cleansing fire, and one of the old biddies from another coven had explained that that was what the man who cursed Tony as a babe had been wearing. (The old biddy's voice had lowered, conspiratorial, "Maria Stark was so enraged when she realized her baby had been cursed, the warlock had burst into flames without her having to utter a word.")

Tony suddenly understood the gravity of his upcoming nuptials. If Hydra was rearing their ugly heads again, it wouldn't be just the nomadic covens in danger--every rooted coven would be, too. Hydra had turned their magic dark, ugly, something that sucked the power from others and killed them from the inside like poison. They didn't even need to show brute force to ruin a coven. All they needed was one person to sneak in and poison it from the inside.

Tony had known his father probably wouldn't fight the engagement, but now, seeing that Hydra was back on the rise again, he knew they wouldn't have a choice.

"I have this, too," Rogers suddenly said, voice cutting through loud and clear, and set a wooden box on the table in front of Tony.

Tony blinked, then glanced over at his parents. When Maria gave him a slight nod, he turned back to it, reaching out to draw it toward himself. The box's finish was slick under his fingers, and it still felt warm from Rogers's body heat. He ran his thumbs over the edges, then tipped the box open on its hinges.

"Oh," he breathed as light glinted off the large blue stone inside. It was cut square, resting in a silver setting. The silver band seemed thinner than what a man would normally wear. He took it out of the velvet cushion and held it up between his index and thumb. It wouldn't fit--it was for smaller, more delicate fingers. His mother's finger, probably.

The blue of the stone seemed to swirl in circles, but when Tony turned it toward the light, it stopped.

He looked up at Rogers, then let his eyes drift down to where his hands were clasped on top of the table, at the tear drop-shaped ruby set in gold on his finger. His mother had given Sarah Rogers that, as thanks for taking the curse off of him.

Rogers reached out, gently taking the ring from his fingers. He lifted it to his mouth, gave it a quick blow, as if he was trying to blow dust off of it. Then he reached back toward him, sliding the ring onto his finger--a perfect fit.

Tony could feel his cheeks turning pink and ducked his head, barely managing to choke out a polite, if strained, "Thank you."

[werevampiwolf]

Also, people can change from how they were raised. My parents are low-key white supremacists (low-key in that they'd say they weren't if you asked, but if you read them some talking points with no context, they'd agree with them). Consequently, I had to unlearn a lot of things once I got old enough to understand what was going on (and was allowed to access outside information, because I was kept extremely sheltered and isolated for most of my childhood). I did need people to give me some level of patience and space to possibly mess up as I learned. I'm not talking about saying the N-word or something; that's not something I ever liked. I'm talking like "wow, you're really pretty for a [insert thing here] girl" or asking to touch someone's 4C hair. I wasn't taught as a small child that that was rude, and was actually taught that things that were a lot more "macro" than microagressions were okay, so I had to learn where the line is. I like to think that I would have still powered through in learning not to be how I was raised if people were constantly jumping down my throat for every little thing, even though I was trying my best, but I can't actually say that for sure. I'm only human, after all, and I was just a teenager at that.

(I'm not exaggerating on what my parents are like, either. My parents made me promise when I was 8 (in 2004) that I would never date or marry outside my (white) race, and my parents still defended that the last time I brought it up, because "no one wants mixed babies.")

And I'm also a disabled trans queer who's also a leftist, and the only person I've ever been in a relationship with was mixed race. You obviously can date a person of color and still be racist though (also see "i have a black friend"), but my point is that even though I didn't keep the agreement, I can't change the fact that I did still make that agreement in the first place. Though I don't blame myself too much for that particular incident because I was 8; I wasn't even really conceptualizing dating in anything but the broadest of strokes yet (and I ended up being demi ace). Also, I really wouldn't have had the option to refuse, and doing so would have put me in danger. I didn't know it at the time, but my mother had already planned to kill me a few years prior for being "difficult" (AKA having autism that they refused to let me get diagnosed with). I'm pretty sure the only reason she didn't was because she wasn't sure she'd be able to overpower me without help from my dad, since I was always big and strong for my age, and my mother has had a severe back injury my entire life.

This isn't just a me patting myself on the back either. My point is that people can actually change, but you do need to let them. You don't have to forgive them, but no one is ever going to get better if they feel like they're not allowed to. They may be taking a real risk by even considering "disloyalty". You think neo-nazi groups let you just walk away and become a leftist without a fight? They don't. And even if they're not putting themselves in physical danger, it's still very isolating to leave behind your friends and family and start over. (I never had to leave a neo-nazi group, though I know someone who did, but I have experienced the isolation from leaving everything behind.)

Just... try and be patient with those who are fighting with you, who are still learning but are trying their best.

Never forget that acceptance of far-right ideals (ie tradwives, terfs, casual racism) in liberal spaces is a huge part of why today’s radicalization is so widespread and unquestioned

[fellthemarvelous]

The Mystery of Chopper Base foreshadowed Ezra's exile.

Ezra's anxieties about Malachor brought him to Zeb. He was headed to a Sith temple with Kanan and Ahsoka, and it was with Zeb that Ezra was able to show his more vulnerable side.

He said it. "I don't know when we'll be back. Or if we'll be back."

And the thing is...the Ezra who came back from Malachor is not the same Ezra.

The new Ezra that came back was traumatized, angry, defeated, grieving, and he blamed himself for just how sideways their mission to Malachor went. This new Ezra started wielding a green lightsaber and came very close to falling to the dark side if Kanan had not been there to pull him back from the edge.

This Ezra came back jaded and vengeful and guilt-ridden after Maul blinded Kanan, and he and Kanan had been forced to leave Ahsoka behind with Vader while the Sith temple collapsed around them.

This Ezra came back with a Maul shaped shadow doing everything possible to make Ezra his new apprentice.

This Ezra survived against Darth Vader for a second time (because someone else was there to save him).

Ezra was already grieving the death of his parents when Malachor happened. Malachor hurt everyone in his family. He brought Kanan back to Hera physically injured and forever changed, and he wasn't able to bring Ahsoka back to Rex at all.

But despite the grief that everyone was experiencing, they persevered. Hera continued on with the mission and Rex spent just as much time pulling Ezra back towards the light as Kanan and Sabine did.

Hera and Kanan's final conversation before Malachor ended up becoming a reality. Kanan regained his vision and was able to look at Hera in his final seconds of life.

Ahsoka and Rex's final conversation was the very first scene in the Twilight of the Apprentice, and it was over Space Facetime. Rex was so nervous about Ahsoka going without him and she had to remind him that she was not alone. Rex is used to mourning his brothers. He's done it thousands of time. He's used to seeing his own face die over and over again. Losing Ahsoka would be different though. She wasn't a clone trooper, but she was still a soldier just like him. She was his best friend, his closest ally, someone he trusted with his life more times than he could care to count. They were each other's sword and shield.

Ezra understands these bonds. It's what his bond with Sabine was becoming.

And all of them (with the exception of Kanan because my boy sacrificed his life to save the people he loved, and Ahsoka because we don't even know when she is, let alone where she is at this point) followed Ezra into battle to take Lothal back from the Empire. They freed Lothal from the grip of Darth Sidious, but Ezra didn't get to see it happen. He was somehow surviving a long ass trip through hyperspace with space whales and a very pissed off Grand Admiral Thrawn.

He spends ten years in exile, alone, on another planet in a distant galaxy with a ship full of stranded Imperials nearby and always ready to kill him, but he still manages to find a new family, traveling with them and protecting them, grieving his loss and becoming more attuned to the Force.

The Ezra that Sabine finds is so much like the Ezra that she first met on Lothal. He doesn't seem to be carrying a heavy burden, but he knows he needs to get back home because Thrawn is a Big Problem, and he's had ten years learning how to outsmart the Imperials and the Nightmothers.

He's returning home with a lightsaber that matches Kanan's and he's about to meet Kanan's son Jacen for the first time.

The empire is toppled now but he and Zeb will have plenty of war stories to trade when they see each other again, especially as the threat of the Empire's return is rising again.

[enbysiriusblack]

james x sirius and all or any

all 💀

1. Describe their first date.

they go to the forbidden forest and run around in their animagus forms for an hour. they then make out against a tree, eat some baked goods that james' parents sent him and come up with prank ideas

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

james wakes up early, sirius sleeps in late (sometimes. i feel like his sleep schedule would be all over the place)

3. What was their first impression of each other?

sirius thought james was interesting and seemed very free and easygoing and fun. james thought sirius was very funny and unique.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

both but i feel like maybe slightly more sirius. because sirius is more restrictive with wanting affection, that james knows he's more comfortable with being the one to initiate it first

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

they don't. sometimes very mundane/playful arguments but rarely, they tend to agree or enjoy compromising for each other

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

i mean if they did have an argument, james would probably make it up with very sappy romantic gestures & words & apologies. sirius is just brutally honest and rationalises their argument & just says he's sorry if he is

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

everyday

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

sirius loves james' sense of humour, his open heartedness, his abs, his passion, sense of adventure, competitiveness

james loves sirius' sense of humour, his biting wit, his handsomeness, his passion, his sense of adventure, his coolness

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

nothing ever.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

they both enjoy sports & talked a lot about their quidditch teams when they first met, james finds sirius' mechanic hobby interesting but doesn't really understand the actual thing but tries to help out (he passes him random tools and yaps whilst sirius works). james loves hobbies. he has like 30. by that logic sirius is gonna share some of the same. but also they're so codependent that even if they don't particularly enjoy a hobby, they will embrace it in order to spend time with each other

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

they mostly just use their marauding nicknames (prongs & padfoot).

james does call sirius pet names as a joke (love, darling, sweetie, etc.) just cause sirius gets icked out by them

they call each other mate whilst snogging, on a date, raising a kid, etc.

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

extremely difficult fucking time. practically impossible for them.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

the two-way mirrors & writing letters constantly

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

james likes it but sirius isn't too big a fan of it. so they kinda tend to just sit on each others laps and hold hands and stuff but don't really snog in public often

they do not count affection in front of remus or peter as public. so they do that A LOT.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

you're my best friend by queen, treehouse by alex g, i wanna be your dog by joan jett & the blackhearts, invisible string by taylor swift, naked in manhattan by chappell roan

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

they absolutely would. it'd either be like sirius getting deer antlers for james and james getting the canis major constellation or just a super weird random thing like both getting a tattoo of a ham sandwich or something

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

very well. very open with their feelings & thoughts. however i think james would have trouble differentiating his feelings for platonic or romantic so would kinda be a bit wobbly in that aspect

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

like overbearing parents

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

all the fucking time

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

sirius gets james to go play quidditch or go a run together or something and an hour or so into that james will tend to then end up venting. it is very effective

james finds a place for them to be alone and will seat close next to him and yap away about nothing for ages. also very effective

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

very much so (james the stay at home husband/dad and sirius working in a job he loves <33)

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

very much so

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

codependent & hot

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

compliment each other in kinda clashy way? if that makes sense.

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

ish (i mean the dorm & living together at the potters for a quick minute). with the dorm (ignoring peter & remus' influences), james makes it a big of a mess which sirius has a tendency to clean up (however james will help when he notices sirius begin doing so), and sirius puts up a lot of posters. they'd also have like darts and a foosball table and stuff fs

26. What sacrifices do they make for the other

uhhh they'd sacrifice literally anything for each other ever. but specifically i can see sirius sacrificing meat when he's eating with james since james is a vegetarian (solidarity 💪💪), and james sacrifices uhh showing off ig

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

looking at each other

28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?

james is the better cook but sirius is the better baker. they cook together (euphemia teaching them both)

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

brush their teeth together, get changed, sirius reads whilst james writes to his parents, they proceed to talk in their respective beds for an hour before james falls asleep, sirius then has a fag and reads more for a few hours before turning into padfoot and sleeping in james' bed

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

both are quality time and acts of service, but james also commonly give the other three too. so works well

31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?

probably all the fucking time. they'd go hang out with their friends then halfway through would call it a date and claim their friends are interrupting them

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

depends. i sometimes write james as drinking, sometimes don't. i like to write sirius drinking a lot and then later going sober. but james would def be the lightweight between them nonetheless

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

sirius doesn't really flirt (at least not on purpose). james constantly flirts and is shit at it

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

many many many

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

probably not. like you could say maybe giving the 70s but also 1. i can't see them giving it a shit, and 2. is wizarding society homophobic?? idk

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

younger sirius def wouldn't i feel but like. as he gets older i think he'd lowkey want kids. james wants kids so bad.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

james

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

sirius

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

platonically?? like end of first year maybe. when they're having to leave at the end of school year

not platonically?? sirius offhandedly saying to james and james not realising he meant in that way and sirius corrects him and james is like "oh. right. well yeah, of course i feel the same, mate?? i love you in every conceivable way"

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

hmm nah. idk. 🧍🏻‍♂️

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

well sirius would apparently go after the person responsible, spend over a decade in prison wrongfully convicted, escape to save his son, end up on the run then trapped in his childhood house, then dying

james would crumble.

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

james despises sirius' family. curses them out on the daily. is their biggest hater.

sirius adores james' family so so so much and they love him too

they have all the same friends so 😭😭

43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?

james would be in something a lot more stylish, a little more punk and black, and with half his chest on display. sirius would be in the tinest shorts ever, and james' favourite quidditch team's jersey (yes they'd be dressing each other in their own clothes)

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

always. in every form (animagi)

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

uhhh in every single possible way? they laugh at each other for failing like mundane stuff tho

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

they deem it the most serious relationship ever ever ever (however early stages they'd be like confessing their undying love, snogging constantly, etc. then turn around and be like "oh it's just casual in that aspect and we'll probably stop soon, our friendship love is what's truly important and will never die"

47. Do they sleep beside each other? Why or why not?

all the damn time. constantly.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

yeah. they're always talking so ofc it'd come up at some point.

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

no

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

they would never. ride or die fr.

ask game

[basmala260]

We need to talk more about Kagiura's feelings

One of the things that I really love about chapter 7 is how it shows how painful it is to love someone who had never and probably won't think about you

We as readers and people outside the frame know how things will play out, but looking at Kagiura's place, things are completely different, and I'm sorry but he's blind optimistic

Kagi always said he wanted a best friend relationship like his parents, but do all besties have to be family? He might have had to think about that at some point if he wasn't so optimistic

Kagiura believes that Hirano loves him but needs some time

The point is that he's not just patient, he didn't believe that Hirano may not love him except only for a very short while, and all his attempts at this touching thing are to convince himself of something

(I just want to make it clear that I don't hate that Kagi is hopeful and it's not something bad or out of the ordinary)

He keeps telling Niibashi everything because he knows he will tell him what he wants, he will give him hope, and I'm sure that Niibashi understand that, Always considerate of what he says, trying to offer advice and some hope, that DOESN'T mean that Niibashi is a bad friend surly, But don't we all do that? When we see our friends exhausted in a relationship, don't we try to give them hope? He just doesn't want to see this Shiny Boy sad

Probably one of the things that hurts me the most in the manga is how Hirano always treats Kagiura so sweetly and gently that it makes my heart personally melt (not to think about how the other person feels already)

He just can't reach him

What hurts Kagiura is not being able to touch him freely or not

What really hurts Kagiura that he can't get the look he wants to see at Hirano's eyes on him, the idea of being only " a good boy" and "a little brother" at his eyes no matter what he does

I love how this was pointed out in ch 23.5, As Kagiura said that in a moment of emotion These are things he wouldn't mention in normal times, he just carries a huge amount of pain that he can't get out, he doesn't desire Hirano as much as he desires Hirano's feelings

There's a line at "Picture you" by Chappell Roan that always reminds me of Kagiura "Am I in the frame from your point of view?" He's really pathetic since he doesn't even ask for Hirano to reciprocate his feelings, he just wants Hirano to start looking at him seriously

[lebensmudewing]

This is worse

Trigger warning: birthing fetish

My birth video ended up on a fetish subreddit because of my husband

Throwaway. Although my husband will probably see this here anyway. Maybe this can be the conversation starter?? I don't know! I just need to get this out somewhere and have people validate that my feelings aren't crazy!

I'm sorry if this is all over the place. I am a mess.

My (F33) husband (M36) is the most wonderful and caring person I've ever met in my life. I thought. Almost overbearingly sweet. He's always concerned with how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, how is my mental health. He's an excellent father to our two children as well.

I had a difficult birth with my first child. My hospital experience was bad. I felt traumatized afterwards. When I got pregnant with my second, I knew that, barring any issues, I wanted a homebirth. My husband was all for it. He's a nurse, so I felt doubly safe with him plus my midwife to support me.

The midwife filmed and we also had a professional photographer taking pictures. Everything went great. It was so emotional and beautiful. I'm trying not to give too many details away since it's apparently available to ANYONE for their viewing pleasure right now.

I have been pretty possessive of that birth tape. I never uploaded it anywhere. After I downloaded it onto my computer from our camera's sim card, I uploaded it to a USB, deleted it off my computer, and I keep it in a little "hope chest" to watch when I'm feeling sentimental. It is so beautiful and important to me, and I wasn't interested in sharing it. I have several friends who put their whole birth on YouTube, but I wasn't interested in doing that. My birth didn't need to be shared with the world. It didn't need to be a teaching moment. It didn't need to exist to make others feel better. After my traumatic first birth, it was mine and i cherished it.

My husband didn't feel the same way and sometimes had light arguments with me about it. He was never pushy, but several times, when I would watch it, he would comment "this is such an excellent birth video! You are so happy and calm! I really think you should post this. Homebirths get such a bad rep and this could put so many women at ease." I would tell him absolutely not. This is private. Stop pestering me about it. Its my body. He eventually dropped it and hasn't brought it up since.

My husband and I have never been controlling. We don't have the passwords to each other's phones. I've never felt the need to check each other's phones or computers. I trust him implicitly. Well. I did anyway. I know he has a reddit. We both reddit pretty often. But i don't know his profile or what he does on here. Idk I've just never thought about it.

A few days ago, I was in one of my parenting subreddits and came across a disturbing thread about birth videos getting posted nonconsenually in a birth fetish subreddit. I thought to myself, that is exactly the reason I didn't want to post my birth video. The commenter posted the link to the fetish sub and I'll admit curiosity got the better of me and I went to look. I wanted to know if any of my friends videos wound up there so that I could tell them.

Well their videos DID wind up there. Every single one. The sub has several vast g drives linked to birth videos. But then I saw it. MY FUCKING BIRTH VIDEO. It looked like it had been a YouTube video at one point?? Idk I don't understand how this works. I cant find it on youtube anywhere, so idk. I'm so fucking ashamed and horrified. There is a closeup of...well EVERYTHING down there in a fucking fetish site. My baby taking his first breaths. Me breastfeeding. It doesn't even cut off after the birth. It shows my baby getting weighed, and just...held. If this is a birth fetish sub, why does it feature so much of just...my CHILD. This seems like waaayyyy more than just a birth fetish thing. Idek how to report the video.I reported the post and reddit says it doesn't violate anything.

I am bawling as I type this. Like wtf. Only ONE person knows where that tape is: my fucking husband. I don't even know how to broach this subject with him.

"Hey did you fucking violate my privacy and post OUR BABY'S BIRTH ONLINE, or did you submit it straight to a fetish site, because that's where it is right now."

I don't know what to do. I can't believe I even have to have this discussion. Wtf even if he didn't submit that video straight to the fetish site, he uploaded it somewhere else where they found it, and now his actions have led to THIS situation. He exposed ME to perverts online. He exposed our newborn infant to perverts online!!!

Our marriage will NOT survive this and I am a wreck. I should have known he had SICK intentions when he was being so weird about wanting me to post this. WHY? WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?? I'm not even that angry about those sickos seeing me, but every time I think of my sweet little baby's face in there...I feel like I'm going to throw up. Surely this is illegal?? Surely newborn babies can't be featured in content that people are...sexualizing!!! Can they?? I'm also just....absolutely gutted by the fact that so many other women have had this special moment bastardized by that sub. How many of them are in my shoes? Or my friends shoes. I'm horrified. Do I press charges against my husband?? I can't believe this is how my family is going to end. What will I even tell people. What will I tell my kids!!? Idek what to do!!

TLDR: Husband posted birth video online and it wound up on a fetish site. I don't know what to do.

Update: just a quick update. I left and took the kids to my mom's house. Idk how long we'll be here. I didn't tell my husband anything. I just wanted to get the kids the fuck away from him. Even if he didn't share that video directly with those creeps, I don't want him around them.

TLDR: Husband posted birth video online and it wound up on a fetish site. I don't know what to do.

Update to: birth video in a fetish subreddit

I just...need to vent I guess. This isn't a happy update.

As I mentioned in my last post, I went over to my mom's house. She was bewildered about why I was there. I couldn't fess up to the reason why I was so upset. I am still so embarrassed. I didn't want her to go looking for the damn video either. Thinking of my mom searching around a porn sub to find my BIRTH VIDEO made my skin crawl. I was hysterical. Still am. I couldn't really hide that. I just told her something bad had happened and we needed to stay for awhile. I'm going to have to tell her, but every time I think about doing it, I just start crying more. The situation is even more complicated now, so I'm just scared people will be mad at me for doing what I'm doing, even my own mom.

My husband called and texted over and over for hours. We haven't spent a night apart in years. I gave him no warning. I texted him once and said we were visiting my mom and would be back later, but that I needed a break. I was worried he'd call the police, but he didn't. He continued to text sporadically, pleading with me to talk with him about what was wrong.

I went back over to our house the next day around the time I figured he'd be off work. I took one of my mom's old phones and used it to record our whole interaction. Turns out he'd called out of work he was so distressed. He ran up to me and immediately started asking what was wrong, asking where the kids were etc. He was SO understandably upset. Seeing him like that just made me start crying too. When I started crying, he started crying. He tried to hug me and I stepped away which just made him more upset. It was such a mess. I was finally able to compose myself enough to ask him to watch a video on my phone. He was confused. More so when he realized it was my birth video. A few minutes in, he interrupted to ask why I was showing him. I ended the video, and a hundred other birth videos in the g file folder appeared. He still just looked confused. I exited the folder and pointed to the name of the sub I was in. He took my phone for a better look and I just started  bawling and bawling. After a few minutes, he started raging about how we needed to mass report the post and call the FBI and blah blah blah. He kept repeating "we'll fix this. Holy fuck. This is so sick." I tried to get his attention by asking "how did they get that video?" But he just kept pacing around ranting. I just started repeating over and over "how did they get it!?" Until I was screaming at the top of my lungs. He eventually stopped and just stared at me. Neither of us said anything for a long time.

He started crying and told me that he had started a "Daddy Blog" a year after our first was born. He posted about being a dad and eventually about his experience with my second pregnancy. He had posted the video on youtube to link to his blog. He felt like there wasnt enough resources out there for dads regarding pregnancy. He didn't know I didn't want it posted until a week or two after baby was here and I was so vehement about not posting it and getting it tucked securely away on a usb. It was up for about TEN fucking months before he finally took it down. He was waiting to see if I changed my mind, and was reluctant to remove it because he'd received so many messages from thankful dads about how educational and helpful his blog/vlogging was. I had 0 knowledge about this blog. I didnt even know people blogged anymore?? We had both expressed many times how we didn't want to create a massive digital footprint for our children because of SITUATIONS JUST LIKE FUCKING THIS, so I this is such a fucking weird surprise. There's hundreds of pictures of our family on this thing.

Anyway, we got into a huge argument about how this was a breech of trust and privacy. He maintained that he thought my reaction about not wanting the video posted was over the top, and how I never told him I didn't want to share it, how he didn't even think of it as a big deal because he deals with that kind of thing every day so it was just not a big deal to him and blah blah blah. His excuses were stupid and I don't care. My birth wound up on a fetish subreddit because of him and we are getting a divorce.

When I told him it was over, we had another big screaming match. He went through several different emotions. Crying, wailing, begging, and finally anger. I hadn't said ANYTHING about custody arrangements, or my plans besides divorce, but he started threatening full custody and how he was going to put up a huge fight, how it would just be "he said/she said," how he has the better job, etc. Whatever. I didn't tell him I recorded anything (legal in our state). I eventually just walked out.

So yeah. That's where I'm at today. I need to consult with a lawyer about what comes next. I am moving as quickly as I possibly can. Sitting down to write this update was probably a stupid move, but I received SO many heartfelt messages from people concerned for me that it felt necessary. I honestly just...needed to vent and have people tell me I'm not crazy or awful for doing what I'm doing. I told a few friends, and they all just seem...weird. They're concerned about the videos I found in the fetish group, but nobody has reassured me that I'm making the right moves in regards to the situation.

I am in an incredibly bad place right now. I'm worried I'm making the wrong decision. Do i let him see the kids?? I don't know what to tell my family. I don't know if i need to contact the police. I don't know if i want to. The most stupid part of me wishes I could call my best friend and talk to him about it, but uh...yeah I'm divorcing him. What a stupid feeling to miss him so badly and knowing that I will never be with him again. I just keep thinking that I'm doing something stupid, and i feel like so many people will see it that way.

On top of everything, my birth video is just...in a fucking fetish sub. Every time I think about that, I get choked up. I've reported it a million times in just the few days since I posted. I've made alts to try and report. I've had friends report. My other friends,with their birth videos ALSO posted non-consenually in there, have tried reporting. It doesn't matter. I sent the link to the FBI. It doesn't even really matter anyway. They're g drives. If the post got removed, if the whole sub was removed, my video is still in the possession of some sicko using it for fap material. My baby's sweet little face in there...I am sick. I am defeated.

They have a post up in the sub about how their previous group was removed because of pedophile content. No shit. No fucking shit. Your fetish inherently involves children. They ask that "karens" please leave them alone now. They acknowledge that pedophiles lurk in their sub, yet continue to steal content with children in it for sexual purposes. I do not understand how something like this is legal. I don't know how many other dark places on the internet my video has ended up.

The most special moment of my life is now just this fucking smear of shit all because I decided to try and capture it for memory's  sake. Something that was supposed to bring me unending joy, now leaves me weeping. I keep looking at my sweet toddler and just...breaking down. He didn't deserve this. I wish I could go back and never have recorded that video. I took my USB and fucking smashed it into a million pieces just to feel like I did something. I am tired.

There's not going to be another update for awhile. I am in a very dark place.

Link

he needs to die

[mvmnbnv]

Am i blind for not seeing how Caitlyn manipulated Vi? I keep seeing this take and I don’t understand it. She hurt Vi in an inexcusable manner, both physically and emotionally by making classist implications in her anger…

But manipulation? If Caitlyn wanted to manipulate/ guilt-trip Vi into joining the enforcers or killing Jinx all she had to do was say “I had the shot” to Vi instead of her father. But she didn’t bring up the dinner at all or oil & water for that matter. In fact not only did she not blame Vi (initially) or guilt-trip her; Caitlyn blamed herself: “My arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle and she paid the price”. That’s something someone like Vi who always blames herself and takes responsibility for everything really needed to hear so i was happy with it.

I think Caitlyn’s intentions were genuinely good throughout the first episode, both regarding Vi & the undercity but she still had the same flaws from season 1: thinking the enforcers are the ‘good guys’ here and there are just a few bad apples among them (i bet she probs thinks the ones who killed Vi’s parents were just bad apples lol) ; approaching some matters in an insensitive, entitled manner (springing the badge on Vi instead of having a conversation with her first about the reasons why she thinks it’s the best recourse… well at least she apologized for that ig)

I already feel like they pushed Caitvi in a terrible direction that’s hard to come back from in a satisfying way… i think if people willfully misinterpret ALL of Cait’s actions in the worst possible light you guys really won’t be happy w the ending bc there’s a point a relationship really can’t come back from in a healthy way. I doubt even now if it can…

I haven't used the word manipulative just yet because it's a pretty touchy thing with a specific meaning, but apparently you can be manipulative without knowing. She plays on vis emotions a lot, telling her wearing a badge is how she can show that she doesn't support jinx, which just isn't true. She doesn't need to wear one to show that. I'm not gonna blatantly say it's outright manipulative but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth nonetheless. And just blatantly enlisting vi after she explicitly said no and explained her trauma around enforcers is just...bleh. maybe distasteful more than manipulative but regardless it's just icky.

And yeah a lot of people think they're doing right but are actually just awful..."interpreting her actions in the worst possible light". How else am I supposed to interpret what she's done? She undid a ventilation system that gave the undercity clean air, she enlists vi after she said no, saying its easy to hate zaunites, is ready to get jinx even at the cost of a childs life, ffs she hits vi and leaves her there, it's bad, some of it downright corrupt. Apologizing to vi for springing the badge on her doesn't negate her bigoted attitude toward her and the entire undercity, it's not vis job to prove anything to her, especially if it ultimately means letting anyone get hurt at the cost of getting jinx. She sees vi as her possible example of what people of the undercity could be, and even that's fucked up, because once vi doesn't do things the way she wants she thinks she's "no different" than jinx or any other zaunite. I don't think they could have a healthy relationship with all this. I don't even want vi around her after all that tbh. I know it's gonna happen tho so I'll just see what they decide to do

[sage-nebula]

I loved the first three episodes of season 2, but I have to say that I do have issues with how Vi's character arc was handled.

I might change my mind on a rewatch, but it seems that the switch was flipped very quickly for her. When she first turns down the enforcer badge, she does so citing the fact that enforcers murdered her parents as the reason. This is a valid reason, and one that Caitlyn incorrectly says she understands.

(Caitlyn knows what it is to have her mother killed by an individual. She doesn't know what it is to have her mother killed by a police state that continued to beat and brutalize her and her loved ones as a child, and then be asked to join up with them. It would be as if someone suggested that Caitlyn team up with Jinx, in a way, but even then it isn't quite the same. Caitlyn does apologize later, but she apologizes for "springing the badge" on Vi; I don't think she realizes that their circumstances are still vastly different.)

But then two scenes later we see a drunk Vi lamenting how Caitlyn wants her to join "the peanut patrol" -- and this is a very trivializing way to refer to what is, again, an oppressive police force that not only murdered Vi's parents, but also physically assaulted her during her own childhood and did the same to people she loved. It's the very same police force that "saved" her from Silco by throwing her, at around age fourteen or fifteen, into a prison where she was starved and beaten for years. (She says herself that she would "lie on the cold floor, hungry and bloody" -- so yes, she was at times denied food.) "Peanut Patrol" is what you call mall cops or campus security; people without any actual authority or power to hurt you. It's not what you call a literal police state that has given you complex trauma throughout your childhood.

Then, immediately after that, we get Maddie gushing over how she looks up to Vi and how Caitlyn stood up for Vi's honor, and this . . . changes Vi's mind? Or at least makes her less hostile toward Maddie? Maddie talks about how "the sheriff betrayed us" -- but again, that's the same person responsible for throwing Vi into Stillwater and no one cared. They don't care about the people they beat and oppressed, they only care that they were betrayed. But Vi is just . . . okay with this. And seems to be changing her opinion because Caitlyn really fought for her right to become a cop uwu.

Then the staged attack (which no one knew was staged, but was) happens. And after that, Vi agrees to join up with Caitlyn and become an enforcer. Because she loves and wants to protect Caitlyn, I guess? That's the best reasoning I can glean from what we were shown; she was moved by Caitlyn vouching for her yet again, saw that Caitlyn was in danger during the attack, and then decides to join up. To me, it seems like it's all about her love for Caitlyn, which is extremely weak when, again, you compare it to the fact that enforcers killed her parents and she was oppressed by them her entire life, and it isn't like Caitlyn said anything in the episodes that would make Vi think that she wants to change that. (You could argue that Caitlyn vouching for her was enough, but Caitlyn saying that Vi is One of the Good Ones really shouldn't have made her feel that way.)

And then there's the 180 her opinion did on her sister, which I think hurts the way they transitioned Vi into being an enforcer even more. What we're supposed to understand is that Jinx firing on the council is what made Vi change her opinion entirely -- even though, moments before that, she was trying to reassure Jinx that everything would be okay after Jinx killed Silco. Yes, Jinx had her "here's to the new us" speech, but I still don't understand after all this time why Vi didn't speak up when Jinx said that Vi couldn't "love [her] like she used to." Just earlier in that scene she was saying that she did, that nothing would change that. And she lets her go that easily? She doesn't try to say anything more, she just lets Jinx continue believing that she was right?

I understand that Jinx chose the "jinx" chair. I understand that Jinx was asking Vi to do horrible things (namely, murdering Caitlyn). But even after that, Vi was telling Caitlyn not to shoot because, "please, she's my sister." So even after Jinx wanted Vi to kill Caitlyn, Vi was still trying to reach her. Yet Jinx blows up the council -- a council that Vi herself has witnessed wanted nothing to do with helping fix the Silco problem, and she has no idea that they were deciding on peace in that moment -- and Vi suddenly turns. As if Vi herself hadn't encouraged Powder to keep making bombs in their childhood, promising her that one day they would work. As if Powder didn't grow up under the mentorship of a big sister who wanted to bring the fight to Piltover herself one day.

I think showing more internal conflict within Vi would have helped. If she had chosen to join the task force because she wanted to make sure that Jinx would be alive when brought in, because as appalled as she was at the carnage (because violence is only okay when she does it) she still loved her sister, and was willing to fight her but didn't want to kill her, that would be one thing. But I think the writers made a mistake that a lot of writers make, which is that, they know the character's inner thoughts so well that they think it'll be obvious when it isn't. The shift in Vi's character seems entirely based on "Jinx did a Big Violence and I'm not okay with that even though I always encouraged her to do it when we were kids" and "My new girlfriend loves me and I love her, too" and it feels disconnected with who Vi was even in the last episode of season one.

(Well, the "completely giving up on her sister" feels disconnected. Vi was always upset with Jinx doing violence, as we see in their reunion in episode six of season one, because again, violence is only okay when she does it. Her little sister, who she again encouraged to make bombs and promised Powder that they would work someday, is just Not Allowed.)

With all that said, I do think -- or hope? -- that we're supposed to see a logical disconnect within Vi. During their confrontation in the temple, we get an exchange where Jinx points out the awful things that Vi has done since becoming an enforcer -- plastering the wanted posters so that others would stop Jinx for her, and especially poisoning the air of the undercity. Not only did Vi rationalize that course of action a few moments prior ("we cleared the streets to keep people safe" -- you aren't keeping people safe by suffocating them, Vi! you should remember that from your own childhood!), but then she says, "I'm done blaming myself for your mistakes," which -- what is she talking about? Jinx isn't the one who put the wanted posters up. She isn't the one who flooded the Lanes with the Grey. These are actions that Vi, along with the task force, took. Those are her mistakes. Ones she should take accountability for, but is refusing to. Instead, it seems she's now blaming Jinx for her mistakes and wrongdoings. Which is kind of funny, because it's like, Jinx has done plenty wrong. Why not blame her for shit she actually did, eh?

Oh, but on that note: "I never thought my [sister] would orphan kids." It took me a moment to remember that the child Jinx orphaned was Ren, but I mean, Vi, sweetheart, you and Jayce killed a child last season when you were busting up a shimmer factory. Don't you remember that? Again, this is "violence is only okay when I do it." Vi definitely has a hypocritical streak going on when it comes to Jinx, and I think that we are supposed to recognize that. At least, I hope we are. I'll have faith in the writers that we are.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on that. I'd like to specify for anyone who has read this far that, no, I do NOT hate Vi, although right now I'm definitely more on Jinx's side because I think it is always morally right to oppose the police state, and again, Vi is coming across as a hypocrite. (Also stupid as fuck because, girl . . . Jinx is Powder is Jinx. Your sister grew up. Jinx did not "kill" your sister and is not "staining her memory." You are acting like a clown. Get it together.) But characters having flaws is a good thing, as it makes them more interesting, so it's okay that Vi is a hypocrite. I just wish that it got explored a bit more, especially re: her decision to join the enforcers and flood the Lanes with poison gas to "protect people" lmao.

Anyway. Can't wait for episodes 4 through 6!

[strawberry-shortcakey]

my defense of Caitlyn in wake of season 2

    Defending my wife rn 

    Lets get right into this mind you my spelling and punctuation are like non existent so yk

Starting off with the thing i feel people seem to not really understand is whats happening is shes being tugged in like 5 different directions struggling between her obligations to her family name the kiraman family is matriarchal this rests on her entirely she wants to maintain her mothers legacy yet theres the undeniable rage fueled by her mothers death and her feeling of failing all of piltover the feeling that if she had killed jinx before there wouldnt have been so many lives lost she feels ultimately responsible for everything in her life which makes that rage overpower her i mean most of the council civilians enforcers who she had been around her WHOLE LIFE. she feels all that weight in her heart and on her mind much like vi due to her trauma generalizes the people of piltover and enforcers cait blames zaunites and i feel its unfair to give vi a pass and not caitlyn shes trying to hold onto her morals she fights for avoiding innocents getting hurt until the memorial attack where it turns into more than an attack by jinx now an attack from multiples causing her to lose that part of her morals and the last pull is for vi caitlyn loves vi thats something i have never doubted for even a second i mean seriously she puts so much at stake for vi. People don't seem to see that her bringing vi before the council in season one couldve ended poorly for her it couldve reflected horribly onto her family if the council had decided not to hear her out. And on top of all of that shes trying to hold it together. We see her cry a few times but she doesnt ever really let it out i mean shes putting herself under that pressure part of her character has always been that she hates when things are just handed to her as we see in her scene with grayson when she gets upset at the mere idea of her parents paying off grayson to let her win and we confirm that stayed into adulthood when jayce offers her that job for him and shes offended at the mere idea and i feel part of her feels if she shows that pain shes in things are gonna be handed to her out of sheer pity something that would likely fuel her rage further and further.

Next topic is her being willing to kill isha if it meant killing jinx. Now i understand the shock of this how it feels “out of character for her” but it really isnt yes she has been openly against the idea of people getting hit in the crossfire but in her mind its 1 innocent for multiple innocents including her own mother. she also isnt the first character to directly or indirectly result in a child's death and she didnt even succeed so yk but anyway every single councilor is responsible for countless deaths of undercity children and families heimerdinger honestly the most responsible because yk like 200 years of  ignoring the undercity and can i also just mention vis switch up on her opinion season one jayce kills a kid when fighting at the shimmer lab and vi has the mentality “you did what needed to be done one life for like 100” yet when caitlyn finds herself in that same mindset vis all “whats wrong with you you're evil now” so uh yeah not an attack on vi just trying to expand on it throughout this i will make comparisons on how we excuse vi but attack caitlyn and why i think thats really telling of how people see her as a character only there for caitvi romance plot!! But anyway caitlyn had every fucking right in that moment mind you she also was running on adrenaline something that i feel a lot of people don't understand in that moment its often impulse you do the first thing to come to mind she was just fighting off sevika shes in that do or die mindset its kill jinx or people die people also don't understand how deep caits trauma around jinx runs we don't know what she was put through during the time between her abduction and the like final scene of season 1 also just yk the entire show. jinx is her personal trauma.

Now onto the caitvi argument in the tunnels lets loop back to the state of mind she was in shes pumped on adrenaline rage and fear. She feels a deep sense of betrayal much like jinx does when vi “picks cait over her” its that feeling of “oh so you care more about someone who deeply hurt me and a random kid than me.” that only fuels her rage/pain that is making her less and less of her core values. caitlyn gets on the defensive she makes a generalization Something once again we see vi do to caitlyn earlier with the oil and water speech which no doubt left a hole in caits heart something that will stick with her dare i even say that plays a part in why she no longer sees zaun and pilover as two sides of the same coin the person who helped her learn something so crucial suddenly saying “actually we are different piltover is all the same you're all horrible. We can never get along, you are not an exception” which no doubt shattered that view and helped cement the separation in her mind. The key difference is that vi didnt get physical cait pushed her and hit her with the rifle but like i said she's on the defense. Also ive seen people saying “oh well cait knows how shes traumatized by enforcers” to caitlyn that trauma is equal to the trauma of what jinx has done to her and honestly it is caitlyn has lost almost everything to this for the sake of what started off as her dreams of justice her need to prove herself has been what she feels like is the sole cause of the  downfall of piltover. Which is why i truly believe caitlyn is still herself that the development to her character logical and her actions fully explainable and defendable 

Little added thing it’s after getting compared to jinx that she hits vi I mentioned how that’s literally her main trauma jinx killed her mom and ruined her life I’d hit someone with a rifle over that too.

And thats all ive got for now lmk if i should cover more!! And i will be adding as arc 2 and 3 release!