ifitsnotexpensivedontwearit

[masteraqua]

feel like a fake fan of books because screens are more comfortable to read on than paper

[kaybreezy3000]

Master Post-Five Hargreeves Stuff

I like to write, and I hope there's a little something on here for everyone to enjoy. Short one-shots, the occasional requests if I get them, long novel length stories- Pairings, no pairings, various rating options-all clearly marked so stay away from stuff you don't like please or find the versions I have on A03 that allow you to skip explicit material.

This is a full list with links for my stories and some of my art featuring Number Five (TUA). For direct Tumblr posts for art and stories, hit here.

⚠️Since this came up for me: Please do not repost, translate, or reproduce my works in any format to other sites or this one. REBLOGS ARE THE WAY TO GO, AND I ADORE ALL OF YOU THAT ARE KIND ENOUGH TO HIT THAT BUTTON AND HELP ME GET MY WORK OUT THERE FOR OTHERS TO FIND. ❤️

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Inside of You

5714 words. Rated Mature for sexually explicit content, so stay away if that isn't your jam.

While joining Five for family night at his brother's house, he treats you to much more than you expected of your evening, ending the night by leaving you feeling more loved than you ever thought was possible.

Warnings and simple more summary: Smutty smut, Cockwarming, Dom Five, cocky Five and sweet vulnerable Five, s4 setting-assuming that all that sort of went down only with a twist in brief mention that Five in the end saved the day (because he's the man of course and I can't do it any other way, also Lila and Five never got stuck in the subway-so no worries on triggers for that-pretending that didn't happen, this one's all about you and Five 😉

The Boy

Created for an Anon request (rated mature for explicit sexual content)

Warnings: 18-yr old Five, Lots of Smut, Five being soft and also not, CIA setting but with none of the other things happening from season 4

Anonymous asked:

will you do one or just some scenes with Five being soft with a girl he's falling for? Like first kiss stuff or other more intimate things between them? Or any stuff with him letting his guard down for someone for the first time- not with Lila please. Explicit or not explicit. Anything like this. Ty:⁠-⁠*

Note~This quarter end treat is broken into 5 parts of smutty progression-Your Welcome😂 (18193 words)

Please Hold me

~A one-shot reader request, rated General, 5780 words, This one for the sake of being different is Season 3 Five and his family, Mega Whump with no warnings other than panic attacks and traumatic flashbacks of the apocalypse

Summary: Set at the beginning of season 3, the pain that had been inflicted on Five mentally and physically up until this point comes to a head. Little did Five know, when the truth comes out and he finally breaks, he is going to get the love and support he was dying for all along.

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Amor Fati ~ A Five Hargreeves Sad, Soft, and Arousing Season 4, ABC’s Headcannon Story

(Five X Female reader insert, rated E for sexually Explicit content-see above or full story on A03 here. Originally done as another headcanon request but this one is a full story too.)

Broken but breathing. Longing for something that always felt just out of his reach, Five was not okay.

With fates forever intertwined, a train, and a smile he would never forget, once again, the impossible became his reality, but like always, not without tragedy.

In the end, all that mattered are the people Five loved. For them, he would do anything.

(Warnings and Tags: Rated R for sexually explicit content, Hurt Number Five, Alternate S4, Whump, Mental Break Down, Self-Doubt, Angst-humor-love, Uncle Five, The Deli Fives, Starts with Five in a very dark place, Not the end the show gave us.)

Worlds Collide -Five Hargreeves X 6 separate Female reader inserts

A steaming hot and humorous deli Five story, and An Ode To All The Fives We’ve Loved Before.

Written by: @badkitty3000 and me, @kaybreezy3000

(Rated Mature for Sexually Explicit Content, 6976 words)

Note: All six reader inserts in this one were inspired by characters we wrote in our other stories about Five. But if you haven't read any of these stories, you can still easily enjoy this one. If you find that you want a little more of Five and any one of these lovelies, links will be provided at the end.

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Looking for Happy

Hilariously simple but true summary: Five Hargreeves is sad and horny, and all he wants is you. (Don't worry, I will take you a little emotional rollercoaster that's not all the dirty-dirty 😂👍)

(Reader is post-top surgery and pre-bottom surgery.)

(Rated E for explicit sexual content. 18900k words. Anon request for a Five X male or Five X ftm pairing.)

Content Warnings and additional tags: Dom Five and some Sub Five, small 'Scream' movie add in per anon's personal love of the movie with sexy Billy and Stu, light praise kink, daddy kink, rough sex, choking, spanking, public sex, Five being sweet, Five being a cocky jerk, masturbation mentions, flirting)

NOTE: This story takes place during season four and after it, using a series of flashbacks, so it moves between past and present several times. Also, this was obviously written before season 4 came out, with an alternate season 4 ending written my way. It has lots of season 4 trailer and interview mentions to make it more fun and hopefully tie in a little with the real season 4.

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Five Hargreeves Dirty Headcanon ABC's

(Rated M for sexually explicit content, 5438 words, the last one for Z is sort of a mini story for you to enjoy. This list explores Five and his relationship with 'you' while taking a small dive into his very complicated psyche and looking at some of the reasons why he is the way he is. This is written with 'you' as anyone-not male or female specific.)

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He Who Holds The Power~(rated Teen and Up or General) (10,409 words)(alt season 4 story with ending)(Not a Romance- reader insert style that lets anyone be the 'you' character) (original Five cover art painting made by me and a little photoshop story insert to make it more fun)(real friendship and healing)

This one is a little season 4 teaser short story I dreamed up that gives us a look inside Five's world both before he jumped to the apocalypse and post season 3.

~~~~~~~~It all begins and ends with Five....

warnings: mild description/mention of child abuse, and signs of panic attack, potential trigger by mention of bombing a building

tags: not romance, whump, fluff, trauma, heartbreak, love, revenge, forgiveness, Mr. Pennycrumb, all the Hargreeves and some of our new character mentions from season 4, Five deserves better, Klaus is awesome, You x Five, reader insert, Five is amazing and with this one you get to imagine yourself a part of his story/future be it as a friend or whatever you want to imagine👍

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Under Your Hat~ (rated M/Explicit for sexual content but you can still read this and enjoy it by skipping those parts using the ⚠️ symbol in the story for start and stop points.) (9827 words)

You never know what kind of trouble you might find if you put yourself out there and speak your mind, and tonight, that kind of trouble is Five Hargreeves.

~Set post season three. (the 5ish years later thing) Five is older, but still struggling with life and you happen to find yourself at a party with him.

Warnings: explicit sexual content, rough sex, spanking, daddy kink, humiliation play, and Five pretty much being the sweet and sexy guy I like to think he is under that hat.

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'Hargreeves Home for Wayward Boys ~(rated G since you can easily skip the sexually explicit parts and still enjoy the story. There is a clear point to stop if you are avoiding that stuff 👍) (8711 words)

~Five is your employer and he's not happy with you. As the night unfolds, you have a very unexpected encounter with him...

~This story takes place where we left off with season three, but 5 years later. The name is a nod to hints of what might be coming, though I doubt the Netflix writers are going with my little storyline I have created for you.

~This one is sort of gift to all fanfiction readers and writers. May you always keep passwords on our documents and devices, or maybe not... 😂👌

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'Free at Last' - a short, general rated, image based/comic book style story blip of Dolores and Five

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‘Bad Things’

Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated explicit for sexual content)(Dark and very messed up version of Five mixed with some ideas from the comic books, submissive Five, mental issues, making huge mistakes and overcoming past trauma,)(see story for specific tags) (49,996 words)

Summary:

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior. Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho. Having been left in a new world with nothing, his mental state growing more and more dangerous, Five Hargreeves finds something he feels will keep him from going off the deep end, but just like in so many things he thinks that are wrong, the fact that he thinks this already proves he has.

Full Summary and Chapter One and Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five, Six, and Seven

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‘The Anti Hero’s Pitfall of Arrogance’

Five Hargeeves/Female OC (rated explicit for sexual content-see AO3 version for the Teen and up version)(starts when the Hargreeves are sixteen so that changes the timeline from the show a bit, but it still follows cannon material fairly closely)(see story for specific tags) (44,599 words)

Chapter One and Two

Chapter Three and Four

Chapter Five, Six, and Seven

AO3 Teen and up Version

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‘In The Flesh’

Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated G) (5337 words) (special request based off an extended scene from 'The Anti Hero’s Pitfall of Arrogance.’)(meant to be dark and very disturbing but with a heart filled message that is very Five. )

Link to 'In The Flesh’

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'The Devil Within’

Five Hargreeves/Reader Insert (rated explicit for sexual content) (This one is the smuttiest Five fiction I have ever written so there is no way to avoid those parts) (see story for specific tags but I leave many off to keep you surprised as you read) (23,134 words)

Chapter One and Two

Chapters Three and Four

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Paramour (The Umbrella Academy 3-part series)-Rated Teen because you can skip the many sexually explicit parts or potential triggers with chapter warnings and detailed end notes for what you missed in those parts. It's a love story but about 85% or more of this story is really about healing and focuses on Five but features a lot of all the Hargreeves and even the Sparrows in part 2 and 3.

-If you love Five and long rollercoaster ride stories that you can get lost in than this is a great read for you.

Five’s POV and centered on him, but it has all the Hargreeves and Female OC love interest, stays very true to cannon themes and for Character’s personalities.

- See specific tags per-story on A03

Part One: 'Number Five and the Girl  (227,442 words) (Starts pre-season one, age 16, coming of age angst, humor, sexual activity and trauma)

Part Two: 'Infinity’ (417,307 words) (Starts right at start of season three but not a show rewrite, and full of shockers and fun and angst and fluff and plenty of explicit fun)

Part Three: 'Oblivion’ (152,100 words) (Hurt Five and Sexy Five galore, my version season four finale)

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'No More the Victim’  

(132,130 words) (rated E-🏳️‍🌈trans female pairing-see tags in AO3) (Five in a very dark place/hurt/comfort/redemption)

Starts after very dark post Season Three but does get much lighter, angst, first-time, finding yourself, revenge, unexpected romance, sub/dom, sexual humor, overcoming tragedy. seeing yourself and others with openness and love, Five’s time travel fix-it optional finale to the show. 

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My co-authored works with Bad_Kitty

Link to all Bad_Kitty’s private works on AO3)

'The Text Mess’ (5576 words) (rated Teen and up) (Five and Klaus)

A text-based format story done with actual textboxes and phones to make it more fun. Not a love story/romance. Full of hilarious images, sexual humor, Five is Five and Klaus is Klaus in this make you laugh and get the feels short story. Takes place in a blip in time post season three.

'Sharp Dressed Man’  (5514 words) (rated Explicit for sexual content)

Five and his lady love Vivian one shot based off of Bad_Kitty’s Halo Series-see link above. Humor based, sexy Five doing his sexy daddy thing. Christmas time story with a few of the other Hargreeves. Closet sexy craziness.

'When Number Five Steps out, He’s Gonna Do you In’ (8730 words, rated Explicit for sexual content)

The sequel one-shot to 'Sharp Dressed Man.’ Sexual humor, frustrated Five doing New Years things with the family. Lots of feels, sexy Five, a few of the fam, daddy Five getting it done and checking his naughty list off for the year. 

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My Art Featuring Number Five (TUA)

To view my Five art features on Tumblr hit this link

For stuff not on Tumbler see Original Five art from my various works  at this link (rated General)

Hand drawn sketches, graphic art in later chapters. 

[mint-yooxgi]

Hi! Could I request a Yandere! Otome! Felix x reader?

The game Felix is apart of is sort of like a virtual reality of sorts and when Felix meets and gets to know the Reader, he absolutely falls in love with her and can’t bare the thought of her leaving him so he tries to transfer his programming into an AI robot so that way he can keep taking care of her even in the real world?

The game had started off as something harmless. Something that you could go to when you needed a pick me up at home so you could attempt to feel less lonely. Something that was supposed to be just for fun.

Hours were spent just laying on your bed with your oculus on your head as you submerged yourself into this game. A game which had many different options to choose from in terms of romances and friendships, as well as characters whom you could select or change at any point in time if you no longer wanted to continue on their route.

One boy in particular slowly started creeping in your heart.

Out of all of the options, Felix was probably the one you got along with the best. He was kind, caring, and a complete doofus at times, but that only made him even more endearing to you. So, of course he was the one that you spent the most time with, ending up on his story route more often than not. Even if you started on another path, you somehow always found yourself drawn back to his, whether by choice or some weird glitch of the game.

It was fine at first, until each time you would log in to be with him you started to remember just how lonely you actually were in the real world. You needed to separate fiction from reality. No matter how badly you wanted to simply stay with him in this virtual world, you knew you couldn't. Being with him didn't replace that hole in your heart. That emptiness of which you would be reminded of every time he would do something sweet for you, or make you laugh in the game.

Felix noticed. Of course he did. How could he not when he was so desperately in love with you ever since you talked to him that first day you logged into the game. Finally, someone chose him for himself, and not just his 'sexy-ass deep voice'. Though, he knows you're just as affected by it as everyone else, especially if the way you react when he teases you with it is anything to go by.

It bothered him. Every time you would leave, the world around him would seemingly lose its colour, his senses dulling until you came back into his life.

All he wants to do is love and cherish you, to hold you close and whisper those sweet nothings he knows you've always dreamed of having said to you. Only, he can't. At least, not yet.

You've been distant lately. Not signing in to interact with him as much as before, and Felix hates that. He hates not being able to see your face every day. He hates not being able to spend hours talking with you just like all those weeks prior. More than all of that, though, he hates not being able to touch you.

The two of you had been sitting outside at one of the cafés. The sun had been shining brightly in the sky as a cool breeze drifted past.

Nothing could have made him happier in this moment other than being with you. He thought things were going great, too. You were laughing at something he just said and he could feel his heart racing in his chest at hearing that melodic sound coming from you. The fact that he was the one that made you laugh, too, is just icing on the cake.

Until he saw the way your eyes had dimmed right afterwards, a sort of sad expression taking over your features.

"Sorry, Lix," you send him a tight smile as you stand from your seat. "I have to go now."

His mood plummets as you log out right then and there, disappearing from his line of sight in the blink of an eye.

Felix can only sit there, stunned, as he stares into the empty air in front of him where you just were. Did he do something wrong? Did he say something that upset you? What happened?

His breathing starts to quicken, panic rising in his throat as he overthinks everything he did in this past little interaction with you. You can't be leaving him, can you?

A few days go by without any sight nor sound of you. Felix cannot help but begin to panic even more. What if you never come back? You can't just leave him like this. No, he won't let you. You're meant to be, and the amount of time you've spent together, the connection you have, proves it.

You, on the other hand, had decided to try and get your mind off of Felix and that dating game. Instead of sitting at home by yourself, you decided to try your hand at online dating. Finally, you could attempt to actually have something that's real.

Which is exactly how you find yourself standing beside the fountain at the mall waiting for you date to arrive. The two of you made plans to meet up in the early afternoon to simply walk around the mall and get to know each other better. Hopefully, all goes well.

Looking up when someone calls your name, a smile tugs at your lips as you see Hyunjin, your date, approaching you. However, before you can so much as reply to him, another voice - a familiar voice - has your blood running cold.

"There you are," Felix grins as he steps in beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he does so. "Sorry to keep you waiting, my love."

Of course he would know exactly where you were. It took him no time at all to hack into your phone and discover that you were trying to leave him; to replace him. Like hell Felix would ever let that happen.

Finding and creating a perfect replica of himself for your world was the hard part, but he managed. The shock on your face is worth it, every time.

Hyunjin looks almost as shocked as you do as he raises a brow at the blond male across from him with his arm around your waist, "and who the hell are you?"

"Me?" Felix chuckles, and you notice something within his eyes flash as he introduces himself, a smug smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Their boyfriend."

[spectracully]

crash the crush.

pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k

summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?

You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.

With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.

Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.

yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd

You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.

y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle

You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.

The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.

yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle

You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 

yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀

You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.

y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car

You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 

You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.

After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.

It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?

yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight

You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-

Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 

"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.

Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.

y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead

You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.

"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 

Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.

You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.

"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.

He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.

You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.

y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK

Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.

yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME

y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK

yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK

y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW

y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun

yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!

You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.

You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?

Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.

"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.

Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.

You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,

He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”

Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 

You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”

“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!

You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”

He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”

Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.

“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-

But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.

He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”

You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.

He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.

Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.

“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”

“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.

“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”

“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,

“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.

You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.

-------

It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.

The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.

You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).

Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.

“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.

You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.

Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.

Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.

“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.

Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.

But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?

You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.

“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.

“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”

Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.

Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.

After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.

Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.

Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.

-----

It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.

You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).

You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.

“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.

Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?

You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”

“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.

3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!

He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”

-

The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.

Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.

You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.

Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?

As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.

You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.

“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.

Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.

“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.

Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.

You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.

“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.

You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?

“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”

You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.

“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.

Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.

“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.

You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.

You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.

Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.

“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.

You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.

Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)

[luckkyy-buddha999-blog]

Part 2..Broken Promises, Broken Dreams

A Retiree's Crucible.

I became a client of Edward Jones Investments in 2006/07 as best as I can remember.

My life had changed dramatically in a financial sense, after a successful Civil Litigation.

I hired Edward Jones to manage my estate, and significant liquid assets ( Cash).. Having limited experience with planning for the future or how to manage my now rather robust bank accounts.. I needed professionals to guide me.

The Financial advisor was Frank E. ( I'm not sharing his full name )!

If any of my readers have had any experience with Edward Jones investments, they will know that the financial advisors who work for them are much like "Jehovah Witness", and the Mormons, they do a lot of door-knocking to get neighborhood clients..

If you're new to the retail investing, with a half a million dollars burning a hole in your pocket, then running into an" Edward Jones financial advisor," is like "Manna From Heaven", because they are so believable!

My relationship with Edward Jones and Frank E. Was all about " trust, trusting, and fiduciary responsibility"..

Edward Jones investments runs a tight ship.

I'm here to tell you, "they protect their clients"! . I really don't have anything negative to say about Edward Jones or Frank E.

I think it's important to note, all documents had a qualifier attached, that read " Investing comes with risk of loss of Investments" i. e. Cash$$$...🤔 LOL!

Yeah, I read this again in 2009 after the stock market crash of 08,

Needless to say, I was fully invested in 2008 for the tune of about 5-6 hundred thousand dollars, having obtained another 300k in a second Civil suit.

Edward Jones Investments had managed well over 600 grand by the time the Market Crashed..

Yes I got whacked pretty significantly, (100++k)lost in the crash..

I don't blame my financial advisors for my "Financial Losses"!

If you invest in the stock market, you have a chance of losing those funds.

Unfortunately, I lost 100, 000 plus dollars in a very fast way.. Just gone😭

I flew home from Thailand in 2009 to try and sort out my financial situation and plan for my continuing retirement plan ( Married and living in Thailand).

This is the part where "John Hancock Annuities" comes into the picture.

I was invited by Frank to meet with a John Hancock annuities representative.

John Hancock Annuities had a veritable annuity, that would fit my retirement plans.

My retail investing portfolio Edward Jones managed, was market based mutual funds and stand-alone stocks type of investments.

This is what the variable annuity was based on, this Market performance " Variable Annuity" was guaranteed interest of 7% over a certain time period.

This product had " Income for Life" Rider attached, and you could contribute to the annuity ( extra cash) also.

All in all, it seemed to be a fantastic opportunity for my retirement plan. My best laid plans, have at times failed to materialize..

I could at whatever point, after two years, annualize a contract over 20 years, take monthly payments.

Of course all of this comes with a price tag!

You can buy into a annuity typically, if you pay anywhere from 7% to 10% fee up front, sometimes more.

My Hancock variable annuity was priced initially at $100,000 with the option of adding more funds up to a certain period of time.

I purchase this veritable annuity, and I paid approximately $10,000 for it. I added another 80,000 US dollars, plus another 20 thousand in 2011/12

I decided to part company with Frank E. and Edward Jones 2011 / 2012. ( I'm risk-averse, I just didn't know it until the market crash)!

I was turning 62. I wanted to take my Social Security at it earliest legal availability, which was age 62.

I instructed Edward Jones to start the process for annualizing my 20-year payout from the annuity I had purchase in 2008, from John Hancock and that was managed by Edward Jones.

Frank set this up for me, he cobbled together different Financial products I was involved in, sold them off, and put the assets in the variable annuity, increasing the value in the 230k. territory..

We also managed to receive in the neighborhood of "30,000 US dollars in appreciation "for the annuity over the time I own it. (7% guaranteed interest based on market performance)

I made some money, so we added everything together an annualized this 20 year variable annuity

I had my Social Security direct deposit set up with Bangkok Bank public Company Limited here in Bangkok Thailand.

The routing of funds to a dedicated savings account was in place for my federal government Social Security benefits.

Frank, and John Hancock Annuities Service Centre, decided that since this route was already in place,

they would "piggyback" my funds directly into this account. ( obviously, Social Security had the correct IAT format, Federal Routing Numbers Beneficiary Bank, addresses of said bank, plus the recipients name, account number and Thailand address..

The above scenario is the correct format for International Direct deposits.

Basically, my best guess is " John Hancock Annuities Service Centre" did not have the correct IAT format, so they took the convenient way, using my Social Security to direct deposit funds in Bangkok Bank PCL Thailand, without using a dedicated account, which they should have done from the start!

They set this up without my input basically.

I had little personal input or participation.

Definitely had no idea that it was not the correct way to do things!

Unfortunately expediency, is the way things get done sometimes.

When you're no longer a client, you know it's like "let's get it done, and get it out of the way"!

I understand this thought process, and at the time, I was okay with it.

I didn't know any better!

Fast forward to 2017, Bangkok Thailand,.

Bank Public Company Limited main branch contacted me over these funds being piggyback, informing me me in no uncertain terms, I needed to change the " John Hancock Annuities Direct Deposit" to a dedicated savings account, not piggybacked with the Social Security DD.

I contacted John Hancock annuities service center.

They sent me ETF forms. I filled them out, and" DHL" back to them.

JHA change the account number, no problems, everything done!

So I thought!

That was 2017. This now 2019. Bangkok Bank has /is making changes on how we can do the routing.

They ( BBNY) have to follow United States government rules on Outward Bound money, meaning money wired from the United States, the government wants to know where it's going and who's receiving it!

"All banks,and every financial company that has a fiduciary responsibility knows about these federal laws! "

Retirees living in Thailand, ten thousand miles away, would not have any inkling of what's going on!

it's not my job, it's the job of John Hancock annuities!

Needless to say, I discussed in detail, part 1" Broken Promises, Broken Dreams"

how, International ACH transfers coming to Thailand via " Bangkok Bank branch of New York" to the main branch of Bangkok Bank public Company Limited Bangkok Thailand come with detailed information on the need to format " IAT and Federal Routing Numbers, along with pertinent beneficiary bank account and address and beneficiary personal name and residence address in Thailand.

It was by total accident I even came across this information.

One would think, a very large financial Products Company, like "John Hancock Annuities," the fiduciary in all of this, is provided information and detailed instructions, on how to comply with the new federal laws!

However, it was their client(Me) a seventy-year-old retiree, who had to notify them... Sad, but true!

A lot of this information is redundant that I'm talking about.

It's important to note, I have provided all the information that was provided to me by the beneficiary bank here in Bangkok.

I pass this information along to the headquarters of John Hancock annuities service center, and to the supervisors, ( Mr Wijaya & Richard Ambrosio) who control how funds leave John Hancock annuities.

I provided contact information detailing routing numbers and pertinent information.

ETF Forms for John Hancock Annuities were provided for me via email from my friend at Edward Jones ( Frank E.).

They (ETF Forms) were completed and sent directly to the headquarters of John Hancock Annuities Service Centre.

It's now the 12th of April, my payment was due on the 5th of April.

All the information that I've shared on this post, was provided to John Hancock annuities service center, prior to April 5th, to no avail.

I'm now facing credit defaults starting on April 14th.

Basically I'm in a bad way.

It's now the 22nd of April.

My April 5th payment arrived on the 17th.

I checked with" BBNY help desk" in regards to the format.. No answer yet if it's correct.

The "help desk" informed me that " John Hancock Annuities",wasn't the "Sender"... 🤔

So now I'm faced with the possibility of a" third party "being involved in my monthly annuities payment.

I'm assuming,"This third-party" is related to John Hancock in some form?

I hope so.

Having a few bad dreams about service fees being deducted from my annuity account..

A "third-party " Payment, might very well be coming out my funds.

Welcome to my Crucible.

luckkyy-buddha999