#i just cringe every time i think about how many average to ugly men have had their egos inflated by stardom. its a disease

[bloomfish]

Celebrity is a danger to society because it permits average men to be considered "sex symbols" and get basically unlimited pussy/be worshipped by young women. This upsets the balance of nature

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Can we give it up for guys with hair like Hobie please?

Can we get a round of applause for the black men in the chat with freeform locs? Or unkempt dreads? Or thick unlocked afros?

Because there's something we need to talk about -

Hobie's Hair: Representation, Reality, and Internalized Racism within Fandom

Here we are again - an essay about Hobie and racism. But this time - it's not coming from outside the house. Oh no, no no no.

The racism is coming from inside the house.

We need to talk about Hobies hair, how we treat black hair as a community, and the deep internalized racism that is revealed when Hobies hair is brought to reality.

[A LONGish essay about Hobie, Race, Hair, and the HEAVY internalized racism towards 4C hair. This essay doesn't explain much about black hair, but it's more a conversation of self-hate and representation]

Like Hobies hair is beautiful and it's genuinely heartbreaking to see so many people in the fandom be like 'yeah I love his hair but I could never date an actual guy with hair like that'

Or cringing at guys with nappy hair, or overall speaking about how off-putting their hair is.

Hobies hair is beautiful, but the amount of people that like it in canon - and only canon - is too high.

They'll say that for some reason, when it comes to real freeform locs - they can't find it attractive. That they for some reason, they still have the idea that people with freeform locs don't - or even can't, wash their hair, even if they know that's not true.

And like.. come on, guys. Come on.

There are actual black men with hair like that. There are HOBIE COSPLAYERS with hair like that.

and they're in the fandom too.

In fact, I'd say a good majority of black men have hair like Hobie - we're just forced to shave it off.

For us, anything longer than a high top that isn't an afro with nice defined curles is considered unruly, unkepted, or outright dirty.

People will just straight up call it dirty or say they don't wash their hair.

Just because their hair looks weird.

Because really that's all it is. It LOOKS WEIRD. And because it looks weird - and because it's something inherently exclusive to black people, it's admonished as being disgusting or ugly.

White men are able to roll out of bed 365 days a year and take a shower, leaving the house with barely even any hair gel.

That's considered normal, average. Boring even.

A black man rolls out of bed the same 365 days, washes his hair the same way, and leaves the house - and he's unkempt.

Why? Because his hair naturally locs up.

And because it locks up, it looks weird, and since it looks weird it's inappropriate for the workplace, it's unattractive, eww do they even wash it?

It's so SAD. Like genuinely sad. Especially in the Hobie fandom.

I think it needs to be highlighted that Hobies hair AREN'T wicks. Wicks are formed using tools. Wicks are locs - but they're manipulated locs. They take styling to look that way.

HOBIES HAIR is freeform. As in, that's just how it grows from it head. That's not a hairstyle like hair spikes, or Gwen's undercut.

That's just his hair.

And it's the only hair type on earth that's ubiquitously known as ugly.

So ugly in fact that men who have it are encouraged to either 1) shave it and maintain that shave at risk of ridicule or 2) invest lots of money and time into maintaining a detangled manicured afro of 'reasonable' size and shape or 3) get it braided and maintain those braids at risk of ridicule- you see where I'm going with this.

For people like me and Hobies, those with 4C hair: We're told quite early, even by the black people around us, that our hair as it is is unpresentable.

We're expected to manipulate and manage our hair every day of our lives, because if we don't, even for a week or two - we're suddenly 'unpresentable', unemployable, and straight up unattractive. Even the sight of our new growth is a sign we need to 'get our hair done'.

For us, hair growth isn't exciting. It's just anther reminder we need to go back to the salon or barbers.

And y'all - it's EXHAUSTING. Physically and mentally exhausting.

That's why Hobie has hair like that.

Because it's exhausting, it's unfair. And it's accepted. Even in this fandom.

Hobie does it because it's not right.

He, as a person, understands that he has a right to exist anywhere he pleases - in his entirety, regardless of how disruptive you see him.

Hobie wears his freeform hair because he doesn't want to physically manipulate his hair - and he doesn't want society to manipulate his hair either.

It's a noble cause.

And you know what, the dudes you see with hair like this - the ones you think might be dirty or ugly - they're wearing it for THE SAME REASON.

The reason men like The Weeknd and Jay-Z chose to wear their hair this way is because they are literally the only black men in society who can wear their hair like that and still keep a job. I'm so serious.

If you are a black man, or a black person in general - you better have 'fuck you' amounts of money if you'd like to have freeform locs.

Because your chances of getting a job hit the floor. The number of people interested in dating you - or even seeing you as attractive, drops like 95%.

All because your natural hair is visible to other people.

And they find that so distracting or so unattractive that it calls your very hygiene - or housing status - into question. (Yes, I have heard people say that they suspect men with freeform hair are wearing it only because they are homeless.)

And now that we have a character like Hobie - this attitude, one that we're all taught, is something we have to face head-on.

Because it fucking SUCKS to be told all your life that your hair is ugly and inherently more dirty than all others to the point that the only option is it's rigorous rearrangement or straight up removal.

And then you get a character like Hobie Brown, such good representation!!!

Only to turn around and see the fandom going 'Yeah, Hobies hot. But guys with hair ACTUALLY like that? Uhhh, no thanks. Sorry, I'll pass. Respectfully, no.'

And you wanna know the most fucked up thing about it? Huh!?

A large portion of the black people - black women in specific - who say they don't find freeform hair attractive, or hair like Hobies attractive -

THEY HAVE HAIR LIKE HOBIES TOO.

So many of y'all who say this would absolutely have hair like Hobies if you didn't detangle it.

The statement in itself - age the critique of freeform hair - is one of self-hate.

So many of the women I see say this have 4c hair themselves.

But because of the stigma and discrimination we received as children, many of us don't even know what our hair looks like unpermed, undamaged, without being detangled once a week.

If you are a black woman and you wouldn't date a guy with hair like this, please candidly ask yourself:

If you didn't detangled your hair for a year - would your hair look like Hobies?

Because I'm pretty sure for a good deal of y'all the answer is yes.

For the majority of us, if we didn't detangle, decondition, oil, cut, or shave our heads - if all we did was wash or hair - we'd have hair like Hobies.

It would stick out and stand up and clump together and that's FINE.

In fact, it's better for your hair.

Ever wonder why we have to moisturize and detangle and condition and use oil treatments and-

Because our hair naturally wants to loc. When it locs like Hobies hair, the oils from the root of your scalp can coat the strands easier, like a rope sucking up water.

A single piece of string can't move or suck up much water. But a thick thick rope can.

Just the same, when your hair is detangled - it's hard for the hair to move or suck up the oil. So it sits on the scalp and builds up. Like a single string.

When your hair is loced, the oils can move from your scalp down (or rather for us, UP) your hair way easier. Like a rope sucking it up.

Making your scalp cleaner, your hair more moisturised and overall more healthy.

At that point, you don't NEED conditioner. Or oil. Or aloe or whatever the hell the beauty supply got.

You just need to wash it, and your locs help regulate your hair. The help keep your oil production even and your hair moisturized.

Because your hair can self regulate. Just like everyone else's.

I'm learning this myself. As someone who just started their semi-freeform locs a couple months ago: My hair is as clean and as soft as it's ever been in my life.

My whole life I thought my hair was oily as fuck.

If I breathed too hard I'd get build up. Parting my hair physically hurt and almost ever hair style I ever tried was sensory hell. I'd shaved my head 8 years back and have kept it low for that long, simply because dealing with my actual hair was too tedious and painful.

And so I went freeform - because of Hobie.

For the past three months the only thing I've put in my hair is water and shampoo.

Maybe a little salt water if I wanna tighten up the locs a bit. But nothing else.

My hair is cleaner.

It's completely conditioned.

The curls found their own pattern and loced up without me even needing to part my hair. Like my head knew where each loc was gonna go.

Honestly, I barely worry about it anymore. In fact, if I don't touch my hair every other day or so, just lightly touching each loc end - the locs would combine more, getting thicker, and then I'd REALLY have hair like Hobies.

And my hair looks a fucking mess.

That's the hardest part now - not dealing with my hair. Dealing with people who see my hair.

I've learned idea that locs are inherently more dirty or harder to clean is actually the opposite of reality.

Detangled hair is absolutely harder to clean and maintain.

The reason detangled hair takes so long to manage is because you strip the oils off the scalp because it can't get down the strands of hair. Since every strand is separated, the oil just sticks to the scalp. So you wash it out.

But now that you've got no oil your hair and scalp is dry so now you need conditioner. But conditioner isn't enough. You need oil. But oil can cause buildup too so maybe use pink gel. But pink gel is too processed so do a hair mask- ETC ETC ETC for forever and ever and ever.

All because we are always, without break, fighting against our hairs natural instinct to loc.

Why? Because it looks weird. Because we are so used to constantly treating and cleaning and managing our hair that a lot of us genuinely believe that if we were to stop for even a month our hair would become ratty, smelly, matted messes no matter how much we showered.

At least that's what I believed.

But if we let ourselves and our hair be - in reality, both us and our hair becomes stronger, more healthy, and less stressed.

That's why so many people call it a Locs JOURNEY. Cause it truly is a journey of self-care, and unlearning self-admonishing ideas about our bodies and hair.

We as black people - like everyone on this Earth - have hair genetically evolved to manage itself on a reasonable level.

The amount of labor and thought that black people are required to put into their hair on top of that - even when it's 'NATURAL' - is not reasonable.

That's why there will be people in the natural hair community, with natural hair - who still think freeforms are ugly and nasty because they themselves choose to detangle and condition and the works to their hair. Even people with manicured locs believe this.

Because there is the believe that healthy black hair = lots of black labor. And they value natural hairstyles that require more labor.

Many don't believe that black people can have natural and healthy hair with minimal work - just like every other race.

But it's true. It's just so happens that when it does, it 'looks weird'.

And when it comes to Hobie - it kills me to see this.

To see people consuming Hobies messages of punk and politics, but never of race. His racial solidarity and displays of blackness.

Even us as a black community.

GAH sometimes I feel like he'd hear the stuff some people say about freeforms and be like

Hell, Hobie would hear that shit ALL THE TIME.

I imagine it really really hurts to see a character that represents a part of you often demonized and discredited - only to turn around and see the fans of said character still think what he's representating is nice in theory, but ugly in practice.

Especially if you're say.. A Hobie cosplayer.

Hobie wears his hair that way because it's his hair - it's not a hairstyle - is anything it's the opposite. And it has a right to exist.

That's the reason why Rastafarians wear locs - freeform locs. Not because they're hippies. Because they love the black form and allow their bodies to grow and manifest in the world without unnecessary manipulation from outside forces - including themselves.

Their hair is their hair. And it has the right to exist as much as any other part of their body.

For Hobie and the real-life men and women who have this hair it's a concious social risk that effects almost every aspect of their life from work to romance, friendships, who will sit next you on the bus and who'll avoid the hell outta you for no reason.

And they do it out of love for themselves and the beauty of black hair.

And because of that, they are considered less attractive, less clean, less 'normal'.

To black people with freeform hair I love you. To the black people with hair like Hobies: Your hair isn't ugly. You aren't dirty.

You're resilient and confident as hell and the realest mfers on earth.

If you're considering getting locs or going freeform. Do it. Absolutely do it. If you want proof you can be cute as hell with freeforms check out this YouTuber named DomiBoy.

He makes videos documenting his locs journey. He has Congos, which are very very similar to freeform. He makes great videos plus he's adorable and funny okay

If you're a black person without locs or freeforms, please - question what your hair would look like if you didn't manipulate it.

Have you ever gone a period in your life where you haven't detangled, conditioned, parted, braided, gelled, permed your hair etc?

What do you think it would look like if you didn't? How do you think people would treat you?

How do you feel about your hair when your roots grow out? Or your braids get loose? Do you know what your hair looks like untouched?

Question what do you think of freeforms? And why do you think that?

No matter who you are, you should ask yourself -

If a guy said he found curly hair ubiquitously ugly, and questioned if curly haired people were clean, wouldn't it be odd and messed up?

Have I heard myself or others refer to 4c locced hair as ugly? Or questioned their hygiene?

Do I think freeform loced black hair is ugly? Would I date someone with this hair? Why or why not?

Start a discussion with yourself.

As someone with 4c hair and starting a loc journey, I feel like this had to be said. Because it's something that affects and influences a lot of us.

There has beauty in Hobie and there is beauty in black hair. We just have to unlearn a lot of things to see it.

Anyway Hobies hair is hot. Freeforms are hot. I love black people. The end

[serinemolecule]

Not to harp on the obvious, but the discussion feels hollow without it: the only reason some people - not all, maybe not most, but definitely some - push for "equality" and "inclusiveness" and etc. in tech is because it's seen as a desirable and powerful position. No one's been belly-aching about it back when it was fashionable to tell nerds to stop being fat and ugly and what a bunch of losers they are. It's only up for discussion now that there's something to be gained from it. It's hypocrisy.

(context: a lot of women-in-tech discourse)

I mean, I was belly-aching about it.

I like to say I was a feminist until I met other feminists. I definitely saw plenty of things nerds could be doing better for equality. But then the first time I met other feminists, they were harassing nerds and writing long essays about how nerds were even worse than average men (which still seems to me like an absolutely insane position).

That was... a really big crisis of faith there. I spent years reading feminist literature, trying to understand their point. And the crazy thing was, a lot of the principles and concepts do appeal to me. But then the way they’d apply it, talking about how privileged nerds were, or just using it as an excuse to be assholes to people, that’s always seemed wrong to me.

My approach at the time was just to try to understand it better in private, and never talk about it in public. This lasted until I read the SSC essays on social justice which I entirely agreed on, then I joined Tumblr to hit on Scott, and since then I started getting more comfortable with writing out my thoughts, but also the really bad SJ of the early 2010s just mostly faded away from the spaces I’m in. I still hear insane stories from other places (like the New York Times! wtf!) but it no longer feels like a crisis afflicting my own community, so I never wrote anything out.

Part of it’s that my community is the rats, now. SJWs may still exist here, but they don’t have a social power to turn us against each other. Whatever effect Topher’s tweet had on the rest of the world, it means he’s no longer welcome among rats anymore. We dismiss them with equanimity using the ancient proverb, “Haters gonna hate”.

Anyway, I suppose now’s as good a time as any for me to talk about what I think about feminist theory.

I get the impression that Scott is embarrassed by his old posts on gender politics, but I still endorse every word. Even the words people like to criticize the most, I endorse as an angry expression of “Why don’t you care about how many people your ideology is hurting?” That said:

Privilege theory – I remember encountering privilege theory and thinking “yes, this totally fits the model that normies are privileged and nerds are marginalized”, until I got to the part where they started talking about how privileged nerds were. I think the theory is still pretty good, and of course the practice about writing privilege checklists and using it to silence people is incredibly fucked up.

Patriarchy theory – Fortunately, no one talks about patriarchy theory anymore. It came from the radfems and it always seemed horrible to me. It's uncontroversially true that ruling class is mostly male, but patriarchy theory seems to just equivocate between that and insane conspiracy theories.

For example, “culture is built for the benefit of men at the expense of women” requires you to just dismiss everything that hurts men and helps women, to excuse that fashion policing is nearly solely perpetuated by other women, and even if it’s true, the fact that it is perpetuated by everyone means pointing the finger at a specific group will not help fix the problem. Did Kamala Harris exercise “girl power” when she kept black prisoners in jail past their release date? 

Cultural appropriation – The usual steelman I hear for this is “it sucks when white people take your culture for themselves, and yet still call it cringe when you practice your own culture” – but the only objectionable part is the latter! Stop objecting to the former part! There’s nothing wrong with culture mixing and it is in fact one of the most beautiful things in the world!

Part of it’s that I’m a first-gen immigrant, and cultural appropriation attitudes often come from insecurities second-gen immigrants have. Cultural appropriation just means I’m now an expert on your new culture and you’re not allowed to stop me from infodumping on it.

The other steelman is “misusing religious artifacts is bad” and I think to the extent that it’s bad, it’s bad whether you’re doing it to your own culture or to other cultures.

In general I think Halloween was, among other things, a great celebration of diversity that did not need to be cancelled, and I don’t think any costume was offensive to the majority of any culture.

Intersectionality – This word confused me for so long. People kept explaining it as “black women often have problems specific to their group that neither women’s groups nor black groups themselves are equipped to fight” which just seemed obviously true and didn’t seem like we needed a word for it.

Over the years, I’ve seen it be used as a reminder of “don’t forget how your activism affects other marginalized groups”, so it’s probably a useful concept to keep around.

Microaggressions – I think being oblivious to microaggressions is an autism thing, but I still think it’s insane to make them a political issue. Sure, you can vent about them, but acting like they’re on par with actual aggressions just seems like a losing cause.

On second thought, I don’t think I have a problem with making them a political issue in general. I think the whole tactic of SJWs being a hateful harassment mob makes the microaggressions thing just come off as especially petty.

I also think there’s a lot of competing access needs here. I actually really like infodumping about what kind of Asian I am to anyone willing to listen, and I think acting like the question is the root of all evil is really unfair, especially since literally everyone who’s ever asked has been happy to learn about the finer points about Chinese ethnic groups.

Isms as prejudice + power – People have mostly stopped discoursing about this, which is good. Language policing always seemed bad to me.

Objectification – SSC says everything I feel on the topic: https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/03/17/my-objections-to-objectification/

The last time this came up in Discord, people said that objectification is more than the straw-man being criticized in this article, that it’s about people being entitled to your body or whatever. But I think the article does address that: “This is obviously a legitimate complaint. It’s just not a complaint about objectification.”

I got exposed to objectification as a criticism of hot girls in video games. And I just can’t see hot girls in video games as a bad thing.

Rape culture – [cw rape] This is an incredibly sensitive subject so I’m going to give you some time to stop reading here.

Our culture has a serious problem with rape. I think it’s important to understand that it’s usually committed by friends and family, that it’s depressingly common and has nearly definitely happened to people you know, that it’s usually committed by people who don’t think of what they’re doing as rape, and that all the discourse on it is really fucked up.

I also think that calling this “rape culture” entirely misses the point. I’m sympathetic that SSC doesn’t understand it: https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/19/i-do-not-understand-rape-culture/

Our problem isn’t that we glorify rape. Our problem is that we consider it a special kind of evil so bad that of course no normal person would ever do it, and this makes it easy to rationalize that whatever this normal person did couldn’t have been rape, which causes huge harms.

I don’t have answers, but I think it’s incredibly clear that calling it “rape culture” doesn’t help.

In general, I don’t think feminist activism on the topic of rape goes in the right direction. The smug “consent is like tea” video has the exact same problem. People don’t need to hear more “normal people would never rape” messaging.