#i just couldn't stop thinking about “does it feel alright to not know me” yknow

[cataclysmictide]

You've Still Got My Heart Clutched In Your Hand (The Only Piece of Me That's Not Rotten)

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - Taylor Swift/Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers/@littlespoonsokka/Little Women (2019)/Warsh_Tippy and Zelda - Whatever, Dad/@criterioncollectiongirl/Gilmore Girls (2001)/I Look In People's Windows - Taylor Swift/Right Where You Left Me - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/Unknown/I Look In People's Windows - Taylor Swift/Right Where You Left Me - Taylor Swift

[gladdygirl18]

In the span of today, I have been fed with tickles and a side of tickles

Long story incoming so continue under cut

Blue Me, Pink GF

So today I took a mental health day from classes (wasn't feeling well and the stress was making me physically sick) and my GF did the same and we just spent the day in my dorm

We did some work, ordered some McDonald's, and watched TV. After that, we cuddled for a bit before taking a mini nap. We woke up wanting to watch YT, and my GF loves being goofy and pretended to sleep on my shoulder

I reached behind me and started dragging my dull nails along her stomach and I felt her breathing Hitch as she was fake snoring

"What's so funny, hun?"

I did this for a while before my GF grabbed my arm and did the same thing. Now again, my girlfriend has healthily long nails and her dragging her nails along my bare belly tickled so much omggggg 😖😳😆💖

"What's so funny hun? Huh, what's so funny?"

After that, we just watched YT for a good while, and OMGGGG I was struck with such a Lee mood. When she went to the bathroom, I had texted her saying, and I quote,

"Hey Uhm, so..... please don't take this the wrong way or think it's weird but... I already told you how I liked tickling and being tickled, and you practically do it on a daily basis and always know how to make me smile with them, or even if I'm being a brat😜 But uhm.... there are times where I just.... want you to tickle me without mercy, yknow, like how sometimes you tickle me to cheer me up.... I don't want you to stop short when you get a smile out of me. I know this sounds really weird and I'm sorry if it does but I've been meaning to tell you for a while now since I told you I liked tickling, but even just telling you that was already difficult for me"

In response she said, "Alright then."

After a while, she comes out of the bathroom and lays down with me before tickling my armpit.

"Stohohohop!" (While squirming)

"Nu uh. Not after what you just texted me~"

I LOVE HERRRR 💖😳💖😳😆🥹💖🥹😆

After that, we kept watching videos on YT. Then we went to a pride club meeting to watch some Percy Jackson (mainly went to support cuz I'm not that inot PJO)

After a while, my girlfriend and I have this conversation (colors still apply)

After that, when the meet up ended we went back to my dorm and watched more YouTube. She would occasionally tickle me or scratch my sides, but not full blown tickle me, and kinda was feeling a bit down, cus in my mind, I'm thinking she forgot. My girlfriend has a 6th sense of knowing when something is wrong with me (but I love her for that ☺️🥰💖)

"Hey, you know you can tell me anything right? Be it silly or embarrassing"

I tried to speak out about it but couldn't

"Hey, just send it through text" (holds up her phone with a smile)

I WANTED TO CRYYYY 😭💖💖💖😭😭

She knew that even if I didn't feel comfortable speaking what was on my side verbally, she compromised by having me say through text, and I had said,

".......I want you to tickle me. Ik asked before but...... I'm sorry I don't mean to sound selfish or anything that's not my intention its just...... After yesterday, yeah this little mental health day was needed but, I feel like i haven't really smiled or laughed that much today yknow. And I'm sorry if I'm constantly asking you about it, but.... There's no one else ik who I can turn to about this"

I noticed her reading it and she chuckled

"You're so needy"

Me, in my vulnerable Lee touch starved state, took that as an offense and kinda turned away from her. She then asked for a hug and when I hug her, she started kissing my neck and tickling my armpits again, as well as my sides and belly, and when I tried to turn over to avoid her nails, SHE WOULD FLIP ME BACK OVER!

AHHHHH I LOVE HER 😭💖🥰🥰💖😭💖

After that, she stopped and asked "better?" I nodded with a small laugh before she kissed me.

"I didn't want to come off as needy, yknow"

"I get it, and hey, i was just teasing; dont take it to heart"

We then went back to watching YouTube. Current position we're in: I'm laying on my stomach, Gf is sitting against the wall with her legs over my back with my ass in between her. While watching videos, she starts gliding and tracing her nails on my ass, and

OMGGGG WHY THE FUCK DID IT TICKLE SO MUCH 😖😖😖😖💖

IT GETS BETTER! When I was kicking my legs, my girlfriend caught my ankles, stared at my dead in the eyes, showed me her nails (did the classic cartoon thing where if a villain or cat flex their fingers and their Claws appear; hers were already there 😂💖) and started tickling my feet

AND REMEMBER, I CANT MOVE BECAUSE HER LEGS HAVE ME LOCKED DOWN 💖😖🥰😭💖☺️☺️😆😆💖😭 AHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUUUUUUCHHH

And yeahhhh that was my day! Tomorrow is my 20th birthday, so maybe I'll get some birthday tickles instead of birthday punches from my girlfriend, so stay tuned for (hopefully) another TTS tomorrow 🥰💖

Tagging the fwends: @burningablaze @cutesmokes @giggly-squiggily @lovelymessybubbly @otomiyaa @jettorii @sunstone-smiles

[denzartriste]

I was encouraged to tell everything

OKAy so i know this looks like a lot of text people but hold my hand deep breathes ready okay READ:

rough roles people have is:

Sofia - Techno, he has an amulet, and in my defence i have thought up of this au like 40 minutes ago(as of writing this its closer to like 1 and half hours) as im watching sofia the first, so i dont know how he gets it exactly, but it IS gold and shiny. He isnt royalty i dont think, unless i feel like it would be better to make him such/assosiate him with royalty. For now he is normal boy in the village doing alright

Elena(roughtly. only thing in common really is being in the amulet) - Tommy! He is in the amulet! let my boy go! But also dont! Because he does not want to go! hehe okay so over the course of this Techno is being lightly cursed. NOTHING MAJOR JUST. YKNOW. NORMAL STUFF. Tommy curses him to have pink hair once more as a joke than anything and Techno likes it a lot so he asks tommy to keep it that way. Prank backfired he likes pink now L + Ratio tommy.

But i said tommy does not want to leave the amulet. Rubbing my hands toghether evil villain style as i'm saying all this. Tommy got trapped in the amulet - but trapped as in "he cant leave" not trapped as in "he wants to leave and cant". he willingly got stuck in it because it was safer than the angst he had going on outside of it. Tommy wants to stay in the amulet but also he is incredibly lonely and wants techno to wear the amulet at all times so he isnt alone. He doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't want to be alone. HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ALONE- Techno doesn't have much of an opinion on this most of the time, because wearing a necklace isn't exactly hard work y'know, but also he finds himself thinking about how much he doesn't want to take it off. He suddenly really likes gold. For some reason, the thought alone of not wearing the gold around his neck, having it rest over his heart where tommy can hear his heart beat makes him feel sick.

Tommy doesn't want to be alone.

Cedric/whatever the bunny is called - Phil! Phil! Philza!!! He is a crow!!! And also techno's only friend!! Phil talks in this au, but also he is legit just a bird right now so the reason Techno can understand him is because - Tommy panicked. Phil was looking at the amulet and tommy was PANICKING because this bird was going to rip off the gold he is stuck inside of right off the metal that keeps him close to techno's heart and he couldn't let it happen he couldn't let it happen - Tommy panicked. But he knows animals don't often lie about their intentions and MAYBE if Techno can hear that this bird wants to take him and leave him in a nest for all the rest of eternity Techno would stop it and - the amulet gave him that ability, and there is nothing more to it. The first thing Phil says is that the the gold is shiny and he likes shiny and also he tries to take it. Techno is, honestly, a bit caught off guard by the fact his bird friend is suddenly talking and freezes kinda. And the thing is he would have let Phil take the amulet because techno has given that old crow a million random shiny thing before but for some reason. For some reason the gold around his neck is the most important thing to him and he tells Phil that he cant have it. The gold is the most important thing to Techno and he will not let Phil have it. <- he also doesn't know that tommy is in the amulet at this point, that's kinda important

Phil is also a bit of a magic crow! He's old, probably immortal (he is fully willing to test this theory but Techno tells him that that's not a smart idea and also no Phil i will not be hitting you with a rock with all my strength to see if you can bounce back you will get a concussion) and also he is a sorcerer. Okay that's a strong word but he knows very old and powerful magic spells!!! He teaches Techno how to cast spells from spell books ("Read it thrice and mutter it twice. A wise person told me that" "Who's the wise person?" "WELL i talked to myself a lot before you could understand me -") and tells him the best trees to get wands from ("An arbutus tree. Snap a branch off, it wont mind.") (aka the red colour is pretty and fits Techno. The tree of a wand doesn't make any diffrence. Techno ends up getting a long and thick branch that acts like a staff, Phil sits on it a lot so he doesn't have to always fly.)

Him and Techno also have matching earrings! Emeralds, so Phil could focus on something that wasn't the shiny amulet because he kept trying to take it. Now instead when Phil is sat on Techno's shoulder he keeps biting at his ear, which isn't much better lets be honest (Techno thinks it's better. He knows the gold is his, the thought of Phil having it makes him sick it makes him sick he doesn't know what's wrong with him. But the amulet is HIS so it doesnt matter what's wrong with him, he has gold so it's all going to be fine)

Also if the amulet(aka tommy) does summon people(princesses they will still be princess, fight me) it would be Tubbo and Ranboo. Techno needs help with something and tommy like OH i know JUST the people. But that idea isnt solidified so i'm not sure about it

There's also one scene where Techno asks tommy what he looks/looked like and all Tommy says is "Gold. I looked like gold."

Yeah im a normal person with a Sofia the first Bedrockbros au. What about it :/

[imalsohisheartguard]

I'm gonna make a super angry post and then I'm gonna delete it, because I think, I'm not sure I'm a bit past my breaking point, and here no one knows me and no one will read so I'm gonna fuck shit up 😂 or I fucking swear I'm gonna fucking blow

My boss is a bitchy ass cunt and I don't know how to get away because I've got not mental support whatsoever and shit here are violent and toxic, and on top of it I have to go with her and the kids on holiday bc the husband can't take time off (well, he can, he just doesn't want to go on vacation with her and the kids)

My mom, she's alright but fuck me, she does have her own way to stress me the fuck out, the other day I said to her, that even tho when I was in school maths and physics and shit weren't my thing, when I'm watching scientists and astronomers I do actually understand what's happening. Her response was 'yeah very funny, buy you're not that smart' and then I was talking about something else and I couldn't remember Socrates for some reason and she goes 'but you're a genius, how could you forget that' ironically. I know she might be joking but, well, still.

My dad, ahh, stopped talking to him for four years, started talking to him last year, and he's starting the same shit that made me stop talking to him in the first place.

My brother, what a twat, backstabber, opportunist, just, fucking, yknow they say blood is thicker than water, what a load of bullshit.

And then friends, okay I can't say much on that, I really can't. But there's a specific one, who ruined friendship and the whole concept of trust and, like, I should have seen this coming when she started talking about gaslighting. But I was a needy idiot back then. Never too late kids. I respect people's issues, especially mental ones, but when they disrespect mine, they can fuck off. It works both fucking ways.

I can feel myself going, I can feel like, I'm more disconnected from reality bit by bit every day, and it's shitty because I actually enjoy it. Living in the world I made up. It's chaos there too, but it's because I chose it.

Like, this stupid gay vampires and the pirates and the single mom of six kids, and those dead idiots, are just, literally my escape, when I'm watching I'm in there, if I'm sad I forget it, if I'm upset angry, while the thing that's upsetting me is happening, all I can thing is when I can go on my phone and just see these to calm down

(sidenote, I live in a different country)

[tamiddyinyourcity]

i forgot that the half-date me and patrick had a few nights after breaking up happened. we just talked and of course drew the conclusion of "yeah sexual attraction and bond is present, buuuuut dating is a bad idea", and took a walk around the lake, went to wingstop, and just talked idly and enjoyed each other's company. as if nothing bad happened.

i really did like this prick. i wouldve hoped me and him stayed in decent contact. (but honestly, i shouldn't keep blaming myself. like i said in the last call between me and that stupid ass hoe, a lot of our problems came from him hiding the truth in the absolute worst ways possible and his own cowardice.)

he always was too afraid of his own emotions. so i guess it did feel good when like, before we started actually dating before halloween, he just straight up told me about wanting to be with me like that..... idk. something nice about it. probably since it eas the exact day i was thinking "he keeps fucking tweeting while we hang out and seems super out of it, ive gotta move on", just for like 9 minutes later he asks if he should be as romantic as possible to impress me.

a sweet gesture. plus it was the smart indirect way of him avoiding the discomfort of "oh hey tamia i have romantic feelings for you and want to know if i am doing good at expressing it", since then its a simple yes or no, and he wouldve taken the hint.

idk, we had good bonds before.

anyway.

but, he was insistent that we were doomed. (i never believe things are doomed. I prefer optimism, only pussy ass hoes say shit is doomed instead of putting in the work to make shit better.)

and the signals were so..... off. Or like, me texting to ask for the candles and fireworks i left at his house back, and then he got super emotional about it and said hed hate a world where we never talked again. Fucking stupid ass oh well well well look what happened months later

And then well i got my shit, he helped drop me off at the mall, and pretty much did a 180 and said he didnt wanna see or speak to me for a long time..... in his defense, to get over me or to not get emotional thinking about the breakup. Which was really stupid, i hate when guys push down their emotions since he could be really eloquent when he opened up and when he wasnt pushing certain things down.

I really like(d) them, but jesus fucking christ i am still annoyed at them so much for everything.

......forgot about him. Talked to my ex, just for the sake of the talking again. It seemed a little sus, though. Like..... The universe just decided to have me break up with Patrick *right* as Blonde Patrick is in town? Wow.

I didn't wanna be an "its a sign" type bitch, but like..... idk, yknow?

plus well of course if the ex i was trying to get over was gonna close the door on me, then that does mean i can go see someone else.

Thaaaaaaaaaat date couldve gone better. I still am also mad at Other Patrick. (The reoccuring trend is that men named Patrick suck at voicing their concerns or feelings for women named Tamia, really.)

Since......

Patrick #1 made it impossible to talk. Talked about himself, but only about frat life. Talked passively about a girl he had fucked after I broke up with him for good, since he "stopped caring". (He was the type of dude that was super anti-sex-off-the-bat, and of course the time before then when we met up, he claimed to have attempted with two different women to have sex..... And couldn't, since he wasn't as attracted to them as he was with me. To be fair I think he just needed extensive time with them, but hey, still flattered that a dude liked me so much, that he got Erectile Dysfunction from it..... Odd flex, but alright.)

Didn't ask me shit about life.

And Patrick #2 had a similar problem.

I just loathe men that hate to have "hard talks". Especially if the initial bond between me and them is our ability to have easily flowing heavy talks. Jesus.

Just.....

I keep thinking about them both.

Sad that they're both done for good, but, shit happens man.

I've had too many relationships end poorly due to men's failure to communicate, respect, or even speak to me.

So many GLORIOUS bonds, GONE that fast, all since a man with testicles and a mouth wanted to pretend he had neither, and go fuck off.

God.

Peace out yalls.

[creep-gf]

I was coming back home from school from Lynchburg to Richmond during Winter break. I was on a greyhound bus to get back. I only had my vape, which was dying, and no cigarettes, my phone wasn't fully charged because I forgot to charge it before I left. I was trying to study my psychology since I was failing and I was trying to get my shit together. This group of guys on the back of the bus kinda befriended me, started talking to me. They told me to stop studying because there are better things to do, I could always study later, all of this stuff. After the bus stopped in Charlottesville to transfer and two of the guys got off. It was just me and the one guy now. He and I start talking about life and stuff yknow, I told him I was gay, we talked about his work and his life & his struggles. He was headed to new york for a job. We held hands and I laid on him and he told me I was beautiful, he told me I was probably his dream girl. I laughed it off instead of actually replying. He taught me this handshake where you loop your fingers around each other's, constantly moving, like a snake moving in the grass, and we did this as we talked. I couldn't really get the hang of it. As we got closer to Richmond he told me that he really liked me and he said "I wanna do something" and I asked, "what?", already halfway expecting what came next. And then he kissed me. I tried to say something as he was kissing me but he didn't let up for a few seconds. He said he was sorry but he knew he had to do it otherwise he would regret it, and I told him that I understood. We hugged when we got off the bus and I haven't seen him again. He texted me later saying Hey, wondering how I was, and I didn't reply. I'm sure we knew each other in a past life by I don't know how, and I don't know what we were to each other. I don't think about it often. I don't know how I feel about it besides mournful. We passed each other so quickly in our life this time at I feel regretful that I couldn't help him find what hes looking for this time. The whole experience is very surreal as one would expect when a stranger kisses you on a bus. I feel the slight guilt that one feels when an experience means more to someone else that it does to you. He was a sweet boy, more in love with ideas that I probably could fathom. I hope he's doing alright.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

1:06am.

I'm ridiculously horny. My period ended and now I'm the most fertile bitch out here. Who is tryna LET ME BIRTH SOME KIDS-

Saturday, February 29th of 2020.

I wanna fuck. I would be asleep right now if I could tolerate my left hand at the moment. But my wrist is damn near sprained, and my pussy is fucking exhausted.

Let's see......

Patrick currently still wants me out of his life, for imaginary reasons. Hmph.

Marco, I basically threatened. He took it somewhat seriously.

And Adrian just stopped responding to my texts, because I assume he finally wants to be on the right path to fidelity and loyalty in his relationship. (Or he simply didn't read my text on Thursday, and is partying his ass off tonight..... Alright.)

Aaaand now I just checked. I think he was at a party. Oh well. It's not like I'm on the "get Adrian to fuck me" train, (a bunch of my friends are due to him literally being named Fine Ass Adrian a year ago,) buuuuuuut life aint like that bro.

I don't need even MORE moral ambiguity. The shit that happened a week and a half ago with my ex already fucked up my karma, as well as cutting off a good friend and using some not so good words when I cut her out of my life....

So, fucking other girl's boyfriends is definitely not a healthy coping mechanism.

.......

I feel, odd.

I don't know. It's that weird stage in a relationship where I almost feel over it, and now its just the awkward point where whatever action or decision i do next, will let me know exactly how well i get over a person.

For example, that time I dumped Patrick #1 for Patrick #2. I could've sat around, angsting, and longing for a dead relationship. OR, I could've seen the hot ass nerdy dude who was making an effort with me, and gone on dates and opened up with them.

Obviously, I chose the better decision. Since I did really like Patrick #2, genuinely. He wasn't just a rebound, or some "Eh, fuck it, ill take you as a second option". He was the right one, who stuck around and had accepted me for me.

And then it became extra apparent when #2 and I broke up, and #1 just so happened to be in town as well..... I couldn't bring myself to feel any real attraction to #1.

You got it bad when you see a muscley himbo with light blue eyes trying to suck your tiddies, and all you can think is, "Man, I miss Other Patrick. I wonder what hes up to? Does he miss me? Should I talk to him again? This doesnt feel good."

ITS WEIRD! I still loathe the feeling of having someone who means the world to me, mean nothing, all due to a few circumstances....

I hate it.

And not talking to Patrick #2 also is a gross reminder that yes, Tamia, he could have probably done anything with anyone in the time you've been gone. Since he's single, and gave up on you, so.... do whatever you like sis.

....

It's like, where to go from here?

I'm having a nice glow up. Drinking wine, water, and eating fruit. Buying jewelry and dresses, trying to make plans to travel to other cities for a day.

I.....

I don't know.

I don't even know if I wanna write the final letter, like I considered before.

Since would it really help me move on? At all? Probably not.

.......

I just miss the dude. I hate how things changed. I liked him, but, not enough to settle being some emotionless onahole for him.

And all that him telling me he reciprocated all my feelings did, before promptly blocking my phone number did, was show me how much of a coward he is.

Yknow what? Fuck it. I'm a hopeless romantic, i know that. It would have been rad if the dude had some sort of romantic epiphany about missing me, driving to my house, and holding up his speaker while standing ontop of his car blasting Death Grips to signal my mating call to him, (like that one movie,) but alas, he didn't do that.

Would have been nice to have been surprised the next day with a treat or some flowers on Valentine's Day, but it didnt happen.

Even so much as a movie, oral sex, a burrito, and some shitty candy to enjoy as I watch a film with my feet in his lap wouldve been nice.

None of it happened.

I was right to give the letter.

He had no plans or intent with me. He had a defeatist attitude about everything. Every single word I wrote in my letter was true. He is maladaptive, neurotic, and unwilling to give even the bare minimum for what I want. And above all, half assed friendship isnt friendship.

I noticed the way he changed, and stopped doing things that he used to. He made it so obvious.... it fucking hurts.

1:30am. I'm chill, just tears rolling past my cheekbones, and just ultimately vibing.

.......

I wish he communicated with me better on things.

Like that night with the first breakup, if he told me ways he wanted to fix it, or ultimately even reminded me that I was the person he wanted, and could at least show me that he wasnt dismissing my feelings.... i wouldve stayed.

And the second one, as well.

And.... every fucking time.

I never wanted to date someone who I'd have to teach how to love me in the first place, and I still did. It sucks. "Oh boy, the cocky chick with trust issues and high expectations is dating the shy stranger who has no idea what to do in any relationship. The girl has traumatic experiences related to teaching men how to treat her right and always being disappointed, and the guy wont know what to do in romantic relationships unless told", is a..... chaotic dynamic.

It worked, till flaws became apparent between both of us.

And I just hate how well things went.

The time of growth between how I saw him during September to November was a huuuuge change. We got better at communicating, had amazing sex, so many things. And I was really starting to feel attached to him, you know?

It all got so fucked, so damn fast.

..............

I wish he tried.

I left him, every time, since it seemed like he didnt bother to try. To try trusting me, believing me, understanding me, talking things through to me.

And that sticks with me.

I'm tired of reexplaining what happened in the hopes that someone will eventually get how much it hurt me.

Everyone else understood right off the bat. Except for him.

Jesus.

Bye.