#i just burst into tears literally. i've waited 2 years for this....

[fadeintoyou1993]

NATALIA DYER & RACHEL KELLER CHESTNUT (2023)

[serendictment]

In honor of Heartstopper season 2 being released, I present to anyone who has the misfortune of coming across this post:

Heartstopper Characters as Stuff I've Done

Note: this isn't all characters (obviously). Also if you like heartstopper dm me PLEASE. I'm literally on my hands and knees begging.

Tori:

Wanted a grilled cheese but didn't want to go through the work of making one, so she figured out how to make grilled cheese with the microwave, toast, and string cheese (judge me all you want, but I swear it was so good)

Aled:

Binge read a comic online but didn't take note of the hiatus status. It was last updated two years prior. He cried.

Charlie:

Thought he saw a bug crawling on his desk and fully freaked out and nearly fell out of his chair. It was, in fact, a piece of lead rolling round.

Nick:

Was late coming down to dinner because Nellie fell asleep with one single paw on his leg and he refused to move until she woke up and moved herself (it was my cat, and it was great)

Elle:

Broke her foot falling out of her bed. It wasn't high off the ground or anything, she just had a nightmare and catapulted off. She was in a boot for months and hated it.

Tao:

Had the song "I'm just Ken" stuck in his head after seeing Barbie, but could only remember "I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten" and so he would randomly burst out singing that and then act like nothing happened.

Tara:

Her "gay awakening" was the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean when the mermaid's glass tank is broken and she turns into a human. She thought her reaction to the scene was normal. It was not. Denial was a river in Egypt for her in this moment.

Darcy:

Before coming out, she would buy anything with a rainbow and when asked why she would say "Oh I just really like the Greek goddess Iris, goddess of rainbows and...stuff?"

Sahar:

Was waiting around for band practice (not like school/marching band, I mean a BAND band) with another band member and watched with horror as the others eyes lit up with anger, and then had the same reaction when showed the phone, which showed that the singer/bassist was seeing a movie instead of coming to practice for the show that was in an hour (still pissed off about this btw)

Michael Holden (love him sm):

Was having a bad day and then saw a dog and started tearing up because of how beautiful it was. (This dog was an absolutely GLORIOUS saint bernard)

[justablah56]

Since you seem to be having a bad day, I threw together a little ficlet for you. Read/respond at your leisure (whether that's in 3 minutes or not until next year)

It had been a long fucking day.

It was a full day of teaching for Terry Jr, with a bad cold wiping out the entire drama department of San Dimas High (which had only been two teachers and a tech in the first place). There was screaming, and snotty noses, and one or two kids bursting into tears, and by the time the school bell rang, he was just about ready to collapse. And, of course, that was clearly asking too much, because it was drama club that day. 2 whole hours of dealing with kids who are meant to be off book two weeks ago, and still hadn't learnt half their lines. It was a fucking nightmare.

Now, dear reader, don't misunderstand. Terry absolutely adored his job and the kids he worked with. But today was one of those days where you just want to roll over and hide back under the covers.

The train had been cramped and noisy, even if the journey had been mercifully free from the kids usual loud arguments. (Why they insisted on riding back with Terry Jr, he had no idea. It was baffling though that Scary waited for him, and they were going to the same house. Although, somehow, her friends always seemed to stay over longer than expected.) Honestly, it was a relief to lock the door behind them all, the kids rushing off to the garden for soccer practice - mostly moral support to be honest.

Terry wearily pulled off his shoes, before turning to Scary.

"Hey, kiddo, I'm gonna go have a lie down. Let your mom know, okay?"

Scary, for once, didn't seem to protest either the request or the nickname. She just nodded, frowning.

"Yeah, sure. Go have a nap or whatever." He ruffled her hair a little (this did elcit an irritated groan. He may not be her dad, but she was still his kid and it was his duty to embarrass her in front of her friends after all) and headed upstairs.

Terry didn't bother to turn on the lights as he collapsed down into the bed, just letting himself he enveloped by the darkness and the comfy sheets. He felt bad about breaking his normal routine of kissing Veronica when they both got home, but honestly he just couldn't handle doing anything other than laying down right now.

He lay there with his head burried in the pillow for maybe a minute, maybe an hour, when he felt the bed dip.

"Hey, Tear-Bear. Bad day?"

There was his amazing wife, the light of his life. Her hair was flying loose from her bun, and even in the dark Terry could see that her office clothes were slightly rumpled.

She was stunning.

"You know, you gotta stop picking up Nicky's pet names. He has far too many." Terry mumbled as he grabbed her hand, tiredly bringing it up to his lips.

"Ah, but that would mean I don't get to hang out with your wife as much. Darling." A familiar weight draped itself over him, tail curling round his leg. "Dropping round unexpectedly and hanging out with V without you is half the fun."

Nicky's voice was a soothing rumble against his chest. Somehow, just having his two partners here made it easier to relax. Even if Nicky had definitely not announced that he'd be coming over. Veronica kicked her feet up and slung an arm over Terry's shoulder, pulling him closer.

"Come on, time for you to rest, TJ."

okokok I've hoarded this fic long enough , ive probably reread this AT LEAST 5 times now xnsnmsms anyways it means *so very much* to me that you decided to write an adorable little ficlet for me bcs i was not feeling good <3333 this lil fic is literally *so* cute i don't know how to properly convey to you how much i love this but icy i love this so much . thank you <33333

[mochiwrites]

I feel like grian in the Songbird's blood au is just unstoppable, yes he is mortal and all, but he will find something just to piss someone off. (And someday it will be someone who he really shouldn't liss off)

He's just so slippery like a cockroach as scar said, he has faced death multiple times, he has befriended a vampire, hell below he survived the circus act from scar, but his determination to save/protect the people he cares about is going to kill him someday, he may seem like quite the collected guy but his emotions are hayway.

BUT THE TENSION BETWEEN HIM AND MUMBO?? They aren't acting like before the taurtis situation, they're awkward they're so 😭😭 but he still cares deeply about mumbo, he protected him like Mumbo's a little child needing protection

And oh goodness Scar and Brian, that's a story for itself, yes scar almost killed him, came veryyyyy close to killing him and grian still cares about him?? I can't imagine what his reaction will be when he figures out scar's working for Scott again.

BUT OHMYGOD, MUMBO AND SCAR??????? They were each other's (best??) friends for so long, and then scar just disappeared, yes he had a reason for it but I can't imagine how our mumbo felt, his friend, who he's know for so long, just leaving him. And then figuring out he's been living in the same town as him for 15years?? And he didn't come by even once for those 15years????? That just hurts

I just love them, I've been thinking about them for the last 5days help

ANON WE’RE SHAKING HANDS. I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR THE LAST YEAR

grian in songbird is so,,, he’s just so???? he’s human but stubborn as hell and his heart is way too big for his body. he’s avoided death on SO many occasions, and befriended both a vampire and the Literal grim reaper. LIKE WHAT A FLEX THAT IS. grian is his core is this representation of humanity and love. he cares so much about his loved ones, and is willing to face dangerous situation after dangerous situation to keep them safe.

and him and mumbo just have this ??? really special relationship where they just click. they Get one another. and I got this ask before chapter 4 was posted, but YEAH. they’re Not acting like they normally would. they’re tense and awkward and so afraid to ruin what they have. yet grian is still just as determined as usual to protect mumbo. because he’s tired of being helpless. useless. for once he wants to successfully protect someone he cares about.

SCAR AND GRIAN…. NONNIE I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS ABOUT THESE TWO. ahems. but I will not because we’d be here forever. so all I will say this they make me INSANE. scar and grian have this monster human dichotomy going on, a little juxtaposition, if you will. scar tried to kill him yet grian can see the loneliness in him. the pain and sadness. scar calls himself a monster but grian sees past that facade. and scar doesn’t know how to deal with it!!!!

so he tries time and time again to prove grian wrong. he’s not human. he’s never been human. he’s a monster through and through. yet grian won’t call him one! AND ITS JUST SO????? scar’s trying to do Everything in his power to make grian realize just how terrible he is, yet grian keeps holding his hand out to him anyway. AUGH. AUGH!!!

mumbo and scar,,,, *bursts into tears* /silly. these two. these two. I know arcs 1 and 2 have been very grumbo and scarian centric, but arc 3??? arc 3 we’re gonna have more redscape. and we’re gonna get to dive into their relationship more. and HOOOOOO BOY. these two are so,,, god. they were best friends. they were close. grum and jrum call scar uncle. and then. scar just ups and leaves one day? and tells mumbo via letter??? there’s a lot going on there. and I can’t wait to explore it more

coughs, I’m very normal about songbird!mumscarian hi

[itslenagain]

[ Part 1 here / Part 2 here / Part 3 here / Part 4 here / Part 5 here ]

*Content note for non-detailed discussion of miscarriage*

PART 6

The press booth is bursting with reporters vying to ask the President a question.

"Mister President, what are you doing about climate change?"

"Mister President, can you comment on the latest push for more government transparency?"

"Mister President, what are you doing to address the Greek god situation?" At that question, microphones go up quickly, every hand with a pen ready eagerly waiting to take notes.

"I'm doing my best to look into it, we are working tirelessly to investigate the situation, no further comment at this time," he says, stepping away from the podium as the reporters continue to shout questions. Once he has retreated into his car, he turns to his press secretary. "What the hell is *the Greek god situation*?" She shakes her head in exhaustion.

(The first week of September...)

"I've handled the FBI situation," Bev says, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. "We blamed Zeus for the shit on the plane. We've earned enough public sympathy for you that it wasn't hard for them to get on board with it. Hell, I mean honestly, it *really* was his fault, anyways." She smirks at Hera. "I think we've got the best case we can possibly make to help you get a visa to work towards you becoming a legal resident of the US. So that's the next step. It will still likely be an uphill battle, but I can pull strings with people who owe me favors."

"You seem to have so many friends in useful places," Hera says, a sly smile in her eyes. "It must be nice to have these kinds of connections."

"Says the immortal who somehow has an unlimited supply of untraceable cash," Bev laughs back. "I hope you've got that hidden well or our government will tax the shit out of it."

"I figured out in my first few years living in the mortal world that there are many different ways to get the things you want, and why shouldn't I? Go after the things I want, I mean? What is the point of life except to seek pleasure?"

"You know, I really don't know." Bev says. "I don't think I can remember the last time I felt really happy." She pauses. She's said too much. She lets out an awkward laugh.

"You really wanted to be a mother back then."

Bev freezes. Her heart begins to race. "H- how..."

"I'm not just the Goddess of women, you know. I'm also the Goddess of motherhood." Hera's expression softens. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I did try. Some things are out of even my power."

Bev feels numb. "I... I don't know what to say."

Hera sighs. "It's ok. I know that what's done is done... But I believe you'll still get the chance, one day, if that's something you still want." Bev cannot form any words. She looks at Hera. Something in her expression feels... comforting.

"I've never talked about it." She swats away a tear. "I just wish I could have held him, or her, or-"

"Her." Hera says gently. At that, Bev feels the floodgates in her heart open. She tries so hard to be stoic. Now, she's sobbing, loud and raw. Hera embraces her. It hurts. But it's okay.

Later on that night, Joanne would listen to the tape in the secret recorder she placed in Bev's office, and cry.

(The next morning...)

Bev walks carefully into her bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror. Her eyes are puffy and ringed with red. But... she feels lighter.

Kimberly holds Hera's hand on the drive to the embassy. It's quiet in the car. Behind her sunglasses, Joanne has been watching Hera in the rearview mirror the entire drive.

"Are you sure it's safe to be here?" Kimberly asks.

"Persephone sent word that Hades is thoroughly pleased to have a visit from our brother," Hera giggles. "Nobody else in Olympus wants to get involved."

The group arrives at the US Embassy in Athens, Greece.

"So let me get this straight... You're *Hera,* like literally, the *Goddess*. You have no legal records of your existence. No schooling, no skills that don't sound like you ripped off an X-Men movie, and yet, the infamous Bev Jones simply cannot imagine taking literally *anyone else* to be her protégé than you." The immigration representative raises an eyebrow.

Bev leans across the desk. "Listen Alexander, unless you want your wife Evangelia to find out about your mistress Irida and her luxury apartment, which is in *your* name, you're going to help us make this happen." Her shark smile gleams with a newfound glory. He gulps.

Suddenly, the application is stamped, the Visa is being processed, and Hera is employed.

Hera raises a glass of wine to her companions. They've already made quick work of the first 2 bottles. "To Bev, you snake! For hearing me out, for never failing to find another trick, and for making me legal!"

"Just wait until the IRS hears," Kimberly laughs. She raises her glass. "To Bev. You've got a heart under those scales, don't you?" Hera, Bev, and Kimberly roar.

"To Bev," Joanne says, "Who helps other people do things she's too afraid to do for herself." She dumps her glass out on the ground and walks away.

"What's *her* problem?" Kimberly chuckles, feeling all the wine rush to her head. Bev gets up to try and follow her.

"Joanne? What's wrong? Jo!"

Joanne stops. She holds her head in her hands. "Bev, why did you become a divorce lawyer?"

"....I'm good at it," Bev says steadily. "Maybe it wasn't my *dream,* but I made my life with it."

"Remember when you hired me 9 years ago? When you worked in family court?" Joanne turns around. Her mascara is running down her cheeks. "There wasn't as much money, but you used to talk to me, Bev! You used to be a person!"

Bev feels her heart pounding. Her skin feels hot. "Things were different back then."

"I took care of you for MONTHS after you left that hospital and you never said a damn word to me about what happened. You wouldn't eat, you wouldn't sleep, I literally *carried* you to and from the toilet. I did EVERYTHING for you, I still do! You've known these people what, a month?! And you're suddenly just all buddy-buddy with them! I don't trust her as far as I could throw her! God powers be damned!" Her lips quiver, her eyes streaked with tears.

"Joanne... I'm so sorry, Joanne. I just, I don't know!" She shakes her head. "And it's not all on me, you know. You never asked. You didn't have to stay. And you damn sure didn't have to bug my fucking office just to find out!" Joanne shudders. "Yeah, I know about all your bullshit, Jo. Why do you think I keep you at an arms length these days? Cut the shit and just fucking tell me what your problem is!"

"I LOVE YOU, BEV!" Joanne screeches. "I love you and I want you and you're still married to your stupid fucking husband who left you bleeding at a hospital on your anniversary! You're a DIVORCE LAWYER. LEAVE HIM!" She collapses. "Stop lying to yourself! Stop shutting me out! Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved!"

Bev stands, staring. Joanne's eyes grow wide. "Bev... Bev, please don't walk away. Bev. I need you, Bev." Bev takes a step backwards. "No, please..."

"Joanne, I..." Bev can't find the words. She feels like a figure inside a snow globe; no way out, no way to let anyone else in, a spectacle for everyone to shake and gawk at.

Joanne stands up and walks away.

"....fuck. FUCK!" Bev swears. This is not good.

Hera and Kimberly, having heard the whole argument, sandwich Bev between them in a hug.

[ Next ]

You are a divorce lawyer, the best in your field. You have just received word that you will representing the Greek goddess Hera in her divorce from Zeus.

[ilaiyayaya]

Trust me I'll do the cool PSP stuff tomorrow I promise don't yell at me plz

Too bored and too headache to be productive so instead tier list time!

Tier list number 1 (one) (I): Genshin Impppppspspspspspsps kitty! My opinions on almost every character changes slightly like every hour so while these are ordered within each tier, that order for most of them is super loose I have no consistent opinions.

This is the least accurate tier list I have ever made I already disagree with every placement I fucking love Clorinde. If I don't get Clorinde in 1 month I will never play Genshin Impact ever again and I'll also recreate that image of a krill breaking the chains on it's wrists and declaring to the world that it can finally krill itself.

Tier list number 2 (too) (II): Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 3!

This is the most fucked list I've ever made, ngl I literally forget 1/3rd of the characters in this game exist most of the time, but like of the other 2/3rds at least 1/3rd is epic! I FUCKING LOVE LUOCHA! I FUCKING LOVE HOT GUYS CARRYING AROUND DEAD PEOPLE IN COFFINS!!!! I FUCKING LOVE FIREFLY! I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN IN HOT ROBOT SUITS!!!!! I FUCKING HATE JING YUAN!!!! i don't have a reason i just think he's lame sorry. i'm not actually sorry i think he's stupid. his son is stupider tho imagine not being able to take 1 hit lmoa.

Tier list number I can't count!!!:

I know very little about Yugioh, despite this I have over 300 hours on Master Duel using almost exclusively 2 decks. I should finish reading Zatch Bell.

TIER LIST 4 YAYYY!!!!!!:

I was gonna do all the Xenoblade characters but then I realized I don't wanna get spoiled to all the Xenoblade 3 characters I haven't seen yet because it's been nearly 2 years now since the game released and I still haven't beaten it :c. But if hypothetically I did spoil myself to all of the characters from 3 Juniper and Ino would be at the top, obviously I would never do that because I haven't actually seen either of those characters in game but like hypothetically if I knew they existed they would be at the top. And Morag is the best character from 2. And I like Mechon-Fiora. And Celica and L are cool too but like ngl the characters in X are kinda uninteresting af in general like I love that game but I can't name more than like 5 characters despite replaying the entire game like 5 times.

I FUCKING LOVE FIRE EMBLEM YEAAAAAAAAA TIER LIST 4 YEAAAAAAA there's too many fire emblem characters fuck it im only doing 1 game

Look I know Fates is bad, but I simply do not care. Please don't ask me how many hours I have across all 3 versions I will burst into tears. Fuck axe-wielders I hate axe-users I hate missing every attack I hate gambling. Tbh I probably should've chose Engage instead since I have more recent memory of that one and there's also way less characters but I already finished the Fates list and I will NOT do 2 lists of the same series that would be too much, nobody will ever know that my favorite Engage character is Panette now!

TIER LIST uhhh which number is this 7!!! nevermind too eepy the genshin/star rail ones took too long i'll do more in like 9 months when i get sick again. I was gonna rank fruit next, but fruit will have to wait 9 months. No froot get today.

[nubianamy]

Hey there! I hope this doesn't come across as super cheesy or weird, but I started reading your Donutverse stories wayyy back in the FF. net days (I remember sitting in my college parking lot in fall 2012 frantically reading the latest Archer's Hand updates before class) . I fell in love with your writing then, but life got hectic and I fell off of fandom trying to deal with it. Flash forward several years and crises later, and I went deep-diving in my AO3 history, saw your username, and decided to see how much I'd missed out on in the interim.

Literally, I cannot describe the way my heart leaped when I saw the "works: 46" (46!!!!) line in the Donutverse series box. And then when I saw that it was last updated this year?! I just about burst into tears. I have jumped back in with both feet; over the last 2 weeks I've read up through How Much You Pierce My Spirit, and I can't wait to read every last word.

Like I said, I hope this isn't super weird, but I'm just so happy that I get the chance to say thank you. Your writing is amazing, and it has stuck with me for literal decades at this point. I fell in love with your characters as a college freshman, and now I'm nearing 30 and rediscovering that love all over again. It is such an amazing blessing to get this experience, and I'm so freakin' unspeakably grateful that you've continued to write and share your writing for all these years. Thank you thank you thank you!!

That is not at all weird, and I’m so happy it has stuck with you all the time! I’ve been watching you leave kudos all week and I’m glad you decided to reach out.

I have so many stories in my head, and I wish I had enough time to get them all out. There’s lots more Donutverse in the works.

Comments are life <3

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Ninjago S16 Finale Thoughts [SPOILERS]

There is so much [SPOILERS] going and if I don't [SPOILERS] I'm gonna [SPOILERS] lose my [SPOILERS] mind.

Turn away now, ye who have yet to witness this epic conclusion. (this is going to be very long)

I was those little runts in Australia who had to stay awake til 2am trying to watch the whole thing with bad wifi, so I had the benefit of coming back later with more coherent thoughts.

And I thought... as cheesy as the ending was, despite being underwhelmed by it, I thought the ending was great. I've always told myself that even if we don't get a tear-jerking ending where someone dies, the bare minimum creators can do is wrap up a show with a nice little bow and say "Yes, they went through hardships but they made it out! Hooray!!!"

Ninjago fell into the latter category.

It's also noteworthy to keep in mind that this show is, and always was, aimed at children, and yeah most of us probably don't fit that definition anymore, rip.

For the most part, I thought they handled the show pretty well. Part 1 was significantly funnier than Part 2, as should be expected. There were great callbacks that both tied the season back to the earlier established lore (I mean, the Great Devourer being influenced by the Overlord to bite Garmadon all to find the perfect body that can successfully rip the very power of Creation into shreds? I won't say I haven't theorised that for YEARS but 👀 it's nice to have it confirmed) and just gave us content that we were dying for. As a Kailor fan, episodes 25-26 blessed me. Pixane was delicious. Lloyd and Garmadon fighting together was fan-fucking-tastic. Even minor details like "Wait, I thought combining the Golden Weapons together would be bad because they would explode" was enough for me.

New concepts were great as well! I loved the Dragon Forms, my heart was literally bursting trying to gobble up all that is brightly-coloured and dragon-themed. And *sighs happily* definitely reminiscent of the final battle in Avengers: Endgame. They weren't fucking lying when they made that poster, huh

All in all, if I went back to tell my 11yo self what I had just seen, she would laugh then scream then cry with disbelief. Because the show has gone above and beyond anything I had expected, and deep down, 11yo me was satisfied what she'd gotten.

But like any good piece of media, and because I'm just Old, there were things that obviously turned me off, or found a little unbelievable.

The death fake-outs -- there were. so many. You can never have enough angst but too many fake deaths just make you desensitised, and the deaths themselves don't feel that emotionally impactful anymore. I mean, sure, we had the purest Pixane moments in the show from when Zane was out of commission again (the fact that I have to say 'again' says it all) but like... Zane's just used as a cheap bargaining tool for sadness, so uh. Yeah.

Oni Lloyd -- I have never been so sad in all my life until that happened. Everything leading up to Oni Lloyd I thought was Great -- it ties back to S11 where Lloyd looks into that reverse-Mirror of Erised and fears he'll become Lord Garmadon. Having to embrace that darkness is Never an easy thing and seeing what had happened to others around him will effectively build that fear. Which would make it all the more worthwhile if Oni Lloyd could have held his own for a little longer in the episode. It felt... disappointing, honestly. They hyped up Oni Lloyd but it didn't even last for a minute. I would have accepted Lloyd looking at his reflection, getting terrified but also being so overcome with rage because the Overlord was a bastard for ever touching his family, roar angri oni sound effects. (Also damn, when Lloyd screams after he transforms?? Chilling, and I mean that positively). I just think it was so underutilised; where the Dragon Forms succeeded, Oni Lloyd falls flat

Why is Lloyd being a dick? -- It is a genuine question. I get it -- Lloyd doesn't trust Garmadon because Garmadon is so intent on conquering the world and switches allegiances super quickly and barely spares a moment to check in on Lloyd, but...hadn't Lloyd made peace with him years ago? All the way back in S5, even. They separated on good, if not heartbreaking terms. Lloyd wasn't like this in S8, but it's almost like. the show was trying to give him the arc that Movie-Lloyd had -- he acts like Garmadon is a deadbeat dad (okay he was chilling with Vinny because he wanted to Find Himself but-), doesn't give a shit about him (he was Learning Empathy-) and cares for nothing except Destruction™ (he was bit by an evil snake.) My point is, Lloyd made with peace Garmadon; there's literally no reason for him to hate him that much

The Utter Lack Of Consequences -- now this is really where the whole "Ninjago is made for kids" point really kicks in. I will say this, in bold and italics and capital letters: NINJAGO IS MADE FOR KIDS, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN AUDIENCES NEED TO BE KIDS TO ENJOY THE SHOW. Hope you got that -- in other words, I, an old person, found the ending to be cheesy as fuck, and kind of abrupt. I thought someone was going to die. I thought that the Ninja were going to lose their memories (Cole's "What did I do?" to Vangelis, Kai's "Now what was I doing?" re. Aspheera, etc; would've been an interesting twist). I thought the Oni and Dragon Forms were a permanent, lasting change. I thought the Ninja were literally going to become the Golden Ultra Dragon. I thought that actions having consequences would be something this season would be heavily focusing on. Part 1 made that clear, but I guess the power of friendship and love can really overpower death itself. Literally no one gets hurt. I find that Highly Unbelievable, especially since the finale is on par with Endgame! But it's a kid's show, the target audience are kids, and Ninjago has always been playing the safe game; while kids grow up to be like me, there's always an influx of new watchers who are just small, impressionable children. I'm not mad at them for it, but it still feels pretty abrupt. Like, everything is Cool Now, Everyone Is Getting Along. Mkay. But we get Garmadon monologuing about generational trauma and growth, so there's that

Ayo where is the Elemental Alliance? -- I swear they were here, where did they go? I miss my boys Griffin and Shade :'(

Oh, and just because I'm spiteful-

Get Lloyrumi away from me -- I'm sorry, but Harumi has proved herself time and again that she is a manipulative, cunning little backstabber. I was getting real uncomfortable when it seemed like the show was pushing us towards a Lloyrumi ending -- and yet, even after everything, Lloyd was giving her the time of day when he was flat-out ignoring his own father who had Clearly gone through Villain Rehab?? I can allow a siblinghood to form, just barely, but an actual relationship is too much. That being said, the plot-twist redemption was... kind of expected, but not in the way I thought it would unfold. I was expecting it to be some cheesy 'love conquers all' kind of thing, but- yeah, I don't know. It was an Oh shit moment, so..

Alright, now that's All of my grievances towards the ending. It's not much, they're just things that bug me on a weirdly technical level, but if I were to ignore them, the finale is still a 10/10. Maybe a 9.85/10 for the abrupt ending, but other than that I loved it to BITS. I adore it. I love what they have given us, and in my book? It did the bare minimum -- it gave a satisfactory ending to a storyline eleven years in the making.

I can't believe it myself.

I know most of you might find my nitpicking a little too much, but this is just what I felt. I was never a Day One fan, but I've been in this fandom for nearly half my life, so it's a huge part of me. Despite its hiccups and strange moments, I am thankful for all that Ninjago has done. I probably wouldn't be a third of the person I am today if it weren't for this silly little show about silly little ninja men. I have no idea where the new series will go, but it won't have to struggle to find its footing, I hope. We might get something by the end of the year, but no high hopes yet; I just wish it'll carry on the legacy of this show and burst with its own light, colour and fun.

So, thank you for reading. And remember...

#thankyouninjago

[afniel]

So, I've learned enough music theory to competently compose the soundtrack for my fangame.

In the span of about six months, give or take.

Which is wild. I had actually decided it was, for whatever reason, just Not Possible For Me Specifically. And of course that's obviously bullshit, almost anyone can just go out and learn whatever the hell skill they want, but it's not easy to overcome a mental block you've held since high school. I really, truly thought I was just Bad At Music Theory, because I had a combination of a shit band director who couldn't teach music theory, and the few other people in the short-lived jazz band were already proficient on piano, meaning they already know the subject matter no matter how badly it was taught.

I realized this two days ago, 20+ years after the fact.

The part where he tried to get us to improv with no knowledge of even what the tonic was, let alone anything more than that, was like...look man I've never been able to improv. Anything. Ever. Well, except puns and topical humor, I'm unfortunately good at those. Anything else, I just freeze to hell and literally cannot think or even speak or move, it's too much pressure for me. "Just make something up, it's easy!" will unbluescreen me, but only to burst into tears and try to fistfight someone, so. Y'know. Not my bag, seriously.

But planning ahead of time? Writing something out? Yeah, it turns out I can do that! And I can cover things without too much difficulty, even! I did a bangin' cover of a Mega Man X series track I want to use. Only took a couple of days and it's so exactly what I had in mind that I've probably listened to it on loop for 10 hours now in total, mostly in disbelief that it exists in a way other people can hear it. I've got several original compositions, from stage clear jingles to a full stage track or two. I've got arrangements of stuff — the intro track is part Mega Man 2, part original, and part Mega Man 10, in that order, and it sounds really legit, and the credits music is the same only expanded and it's like. I didn't believe I had it in me. Now I can't seem to get it out me fast enough and I keep losing sleep in favor of Famitracker. I feel like I unlocked something in my head that's been waiting for ages and now it's not gonna wait any longer.

And I was listening to a song I really like, Blinding Lights by The Weeknd, and went, "...wait, I bet that hook goes like..." I played it out on keys quickly, figured out it's entirely built on a Cm4 chord, and realized the song itself is in Cm. I've never done that. Not that quickly, anyway; eventually if I transcribe enough it something I'll figure it out, probably, but not within a minute or two, and not that easily. From there I realized, I've got the key, I can hear the intervals, therefore I can find the chord progression, therefore I could probably do an 8-bit cover of it in...eh, give me 6-8 hours since it's a full-length track.

Anyway hello, on top of being a pixel artist and game dev, I'm a chiptune composer now, suddenly! And it's cool as hell. I'll have to upload something here soon, though I think I have to do it via desktop and I'm mobile right now having breakfast out somewhere.

[just-here-for-the-art-shit]

Welcome to the new year mon amies, I wanted to do a special preview of some of the MH fics I've been working on and planning for the 2022 year, once the current fics I have running have been finished. I can't wait to share them all with you!

Moonrise (Sundown Part 2)

With The Operator nothing more than a wilting tree, Jay and Tim are free to live their lives in their own slice of heaven in peace ... or so they thought. There's no rest for the wicked, and Jay finds out there's a lot more life in the canyons then most can see - or rather, death. Old friends and new unite to take on the strange skull-faced shooter. M-E rated, A Bram centric fic with a side of fluffy Tessica.

~

"Aw, my boy, you have a gift."

"G-gift? I wouldn't exactly call it a gift but-"

"It is a gift - one, though, that comes with many responsibilities."

~

Two steps - he's prying the car door open - five - he puts a gun to the engineer's head. "Get up - you better start talking, pal."

"What … where am I?"

"You should be at the bottom of the gulch."

"I don't … remember…"

~

"The souls of Miranda, entwined with the magic of your own, singing the song of creation. The mirrors all shatter, the piano strikes a dull note, and the sky falls."

".... Does anyone understand this hocus-pocury shit?"

~~~

Legend of the Phoenix

Given a second chance, Jay Merrick reincarnates at the start of it all, 2006. With a new lease on life, he has only one thing on his mind - revenge. E-rated, A Jam centric fic following Jay's pov.

~

"Oh … you missed the waiter - you can have some of my food…"

He shrugs, "That's alright, I'm not that hungry."

"Oh my GOD Tim, just eat the man's food, he's not going to bite your arm off." Brian says obnoxiously loud, elbowing him.

"I will personally fight you in this restaurant."

~

"You sound like I'm going to my death." 

"God I hope not. Take care man." 

Poor Brian. He doesn't see, doesn't remember the atrocities. Brian died early in the chaos - thank goodness. Of all people, Brian is one of the ones that never deserved this. He went quick - he hopefully didn't suffer for long. That warm, summer smile was preserved forever, untainted by the wear and tear of paranoid years and tapes and strange messages. 

"Drive safe." He says, and for once today, he thinks it to be true.

~

"Bark bark!"

Ha. He almost forgot about the dog. Here comes the next line -

"Seth, did you bring your dog?"

"Yeah … sorry. I didn't have a sitter."

Alex sighs. "It's … fine … I think we need to wrap up for the weekend anyway, everyone's tired. We'll try again Monday."

…... Huh? That's … not anticipated.

~~~

H.E. Double Hockey-Sticks

Welcome to Hell! Jay - Paimon, and Jessica - Lilith, start out their new demonic lives as soldiers making their way through the ranks of the Imperial Palace, But of course, it's never as easy as it sounds. Dozens of demon lords, kings, dukes and several more make up the hierarchy of Hell, and with that comes a lot of personalities - and a lot of treachery, threatening to overthrow Lucifer himself.

(This is literally a Palace harem au not joking) T - E rated, A Jay-centric polyhornets fic!

~

He peels his cooked, aching body off the mattress like burnt salami, string of drool still rolling down his face as he slips into his gear. What the hell did he do to deserve this?

Today is partner sparring - thank goodness. Jessica still beats his ass, but educates him too, unwilling to give up on him.

~

"The crown prince Satan is well … Satan … but Lucifer… he's kind of a mystery… They say he's truly in charge, but Satan usually makes all his appearances."

"Huh … interesting. Sounds like a mystery …"

"Don't go investigating it now."

His eyes flash, "Why not?"

"Are you insane? Do you want to die?"

"No, but I might be a tiny bit insane - besides, what else is there to do around here for fun."

"I wouldn't consider looking into the history of the Morning Star 'fun.'"

~

"Beleth is coming!"

"Beleth?"

The hall bursts in a fury of whipping winds and fumes, a roar shakes the cathedral, and then a blast of white light.

"ANGELS!" The room turns into uproar, as demons scatter themselves everywhere.

In walks a thin man with glasses. "Pathetic!" He yells. "How do any of you expect to go against even a low rank cherub! Who let you pass through!?"

(And so, so much more I can't wait to publish)

~~~

Marble Heroes

Fresh out of school, Jay takes a hero internship under one of the mightiest heroes known to man - ok, so maybe the only reason he got the internship is because Alex is his BFF. There's lot more to being a hero than just fighting villains - but try telling him that when he continuously runs into the same one over and over. T rated, a Jam centric fic with a hint of Brilex.

~

"Shit - they're already here - cover the backways!"

"W- Alex- and he's gone … great."

~

"Stay down kid, this fight is over."

"Mmm-gh?"

"I know I didn't hit you that hard. Now go to sleep. You'll heal."

"Goo-night…"

"Good night."

~

"Good evening."

"Ag-b!!!!" In a flurry of limbs, he nearly tumbles off the ledge, scraping himself back onto the roof. "Don't do that!"

"And you're supposed to be a hero? Anyone could've gotten the drop on you."

~~~

And if time permits, I hope to share many, many more this year.

[n1kolaiz]

"Man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire."

Character Analysis: Dazai Osamu

Age: 22 || Ability: No Longer Human

I've done a lot of research concerning Dazai's character because of how complex he'd initially appeared to me. It is still a question as to what his personality type is; some say he's an ENTP while others argue that he's an INTJ, and his enneagram would most likely be 7w8 (The Realist), but that isn't the thing I'm going to focus on.

According to general databases and fan analyses, his temperament is dominantly melancholic. A person's temperament is basically how they react to and live in this world. For those of you not interested in such details, don't worry, I'll get to my point.

The melancholic behaviour is characterised by individualism, self-reliance, and reservation. People of the melancholic temperament are described as having been overcome with sorrow and depressive thoughts, which is beyond the feeling of "just being sad."

Nonetheless, they are generally calm beings, with a tendency to hide how they truly feel by keeping their composure, even in events that demand severe reaction otherwise. Other aspects of melancholic temperaments is that they are absorbed in the cruelty and tragedy of this world, and tend to get lost in their thoughts.

Sound familiar?

Dazai is seen to be as the comic relief of the adaptation, and he'd never fail to bring about a sense of lightheartedness to relieve the serious moments; we all know that for sure. Remember the time both him and Kunikida found Nobuko Sasaki in that godforsaken hospital, and how Kunikida asked him about his opinion on the current state of affairs?

But, despite having developed a calm and serene personality, Dazai's dark side was more apparent during the Dark Era. There was a type of intimidating and arrogant flair evident in his behaviour, or even on his face. It was the type of demeanour that came off cold and terrifying to the rather unlucky people he dealt with. In a moment's notice, they could literally die by his hands. And I believe most of them usually did. It was during this time, he was more brutal and vicious. He lacked remorse. Plus, Dazai's suicidal ideations were more dense during this Era, and his suicidal tendencies did not do anything to alleviate the depth of how dark his character was posed to be.

Side note: Unfortunately, people misunderstand this 'depressed' part of Dazai; they minimise his character so much to the point that people use only a single word to describe him: suicidal. He is, in fact, so much more than that. I'll elaborate more on that in a while.

"Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia? I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that… I would be able to find something—a reason to live."

Dazai's approach to life is that of an aimless soul, weary of the world's oppressions and exhausted from the concept of living itself. Nevertheless, what he said above about having an expectation made me realise something: he had a goal, which he wasn't that enthusiastic about achieving—seeking for a reason to carry on with life. So he joined the Mafia.

And there, he met Oda Sakunosuke.

Despite how resilient Dazai carried himself to be (especially during the Dark Era), this specific excerpt stands in direct opposition of how he effortlessly embodied all things daunting:

"With every step I take, I feel as though the earth has opened up into a bottomless pit as I fall endlessly. As Dazai pointed to his forehead and approached the muzzle, the look on his face – like that of a child about to burst into tears – had already been branded upon my eyes."

- quoted by Oda Sakunosuke, excerpt from Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era Light Novel.

When I read this, it sent my mind into a spiral of despair and confusion. It was so vague, yet it made so much sense. Dazai was desperate to escape from this life, but part of him seemed to live in conflict with his desire for death. I won't elaborate more on this, because this specific excerpt has personal meaning to me, as I'd expect it to have for others as well; so I wouldn't want to ruin anyone else's perception on it.

Back to my point: Odasaku was one of the only characters who managed to interpret the complexity of Dazai's mindset and was able to compartmentalise the specific details of his persona that made Dazai the way he was. Oda knew that Dazai wasn't just suicidal.

"For most things in life, it's harder to succeed than fail. Wouldn't you agree? That's why I should attempt suicide rather than commit it! Committing suicide is difficult, but it should be relatively easier to fail at attempting suicide!"

Others boasted about how he was just a suicidal maniac, and that was only because of how good Dazai was at concealing his own feelings whilst flamboyantly priding himself in new, risky techniques, which he sometimes elaborated on. But Oda, on the other hand, saw through his jokes, and empathised with his friend, never wanting to ever barge into his vulnerability without Dazai's permission, but still trying to be there for him.

"Listen. You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be ale to find a reson to live. You won't find it. You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."

Notice how Odasaku recognised Dazai's despair, before Dazai even dared to acknowledge his very own emotions? That was why, at Oda's death, he took the initiative to uncover Dazai's bandaged eye to show him that there was no use in concealing his feelings anymore.

Odasaku's last words to Dazai was to "be on the side that saves people," for he was aware that even though Dazai didn't believe there was a clear distinction between good and evil, he thought that perhaps Dazai would find meaning in his life, even if it was just a little bit of purpose.

In Dead Apple, we briefly relive this moment, but I'll write more on that some other time.

And when Dazai joined the ADA, he loses that dark side to him. No, wait, let me rephrase that: he loses a part of that dark side to him. He eliminated the raw sense of bitterness against the world from his face, and instead, he is seen to be a little more passive, and a little more adaptive. No doubt, he still does explicitly state his desire to die, but his wishes are very specific, if you know what I mean.

And a few years later, his journey with Atsushi began.

Atsushi and Dazai's relationship is just one of a kind. I think it isn't a matter of whether Atsushi needed Dazai, or whether Dazai needed Atsushi. It's the fact that they both needed each other. It's the way they both worked hand in hand, and how they sustained each other in ways they were lacking.

The two were polar opposites, but they had a tender kind of warmth embedded in their protectiveness for each other. Atsushi was just as lost as Dazai, but somehow, they worked together just fine. It was like their duality was meant to be. It was the type of symbiotic relationship, where their care for each other was implied, but very deep.

Does this also sound familiar... perhaps, in relation to Dazai's friendship with Odasaku?

Side note: Oda and Atsushi have the same enneagrams, which is Type 2, 'The Helper.'

There is a sort of balance that is brought about by two opposites. Odasaku taught Dazai many things, and I believe Oda learned a lot about a man's life from the way Dazai lived out his life with the innate desire to die. Atsushi sought for the right to live, while Dazai searched for a reason to live; in addition, Dazai validated Atsushi's feelings, and Atsushi was able to acknowlegde the amount of pain Dazai was going through.

Despite how Dazai's perspectives and beliefs stood in contrast with those of Oda's and Atsushi's, a type of inseparable bond connected the man who no longer felt like he was human, to the people who was the most human.

No Longer Human in the Japanese romaji is 'Ningen Shikkaku.' Ningen means "human," and Shikkaku means "disqualified." The late author, Dazai Osamu, wrote the book No Longer Human. He had gone through the rough throes of trauma and wrote this book as a semi-autobiography, whose plot was centred around a man who faked happiness, for he was tainted by the truth that everyone around him was fake themselves. He turned his life into a joke in order to protect himself from the delusions of this world.

This brings us back to the melancholic temperament, where a person was too deeply immersed in the sad truths of reality and the world itself.

And that's what Dazai's character and ability is based on: being disqualified as a human being, because he wasn't well-versed with what being human was actually like. The fabrications of being human sprung up all around him, but he wasn't willing to be fooled by how ingenuine the world truly was.

“I am convinced that human life is filled with many pure, happy, serene examples of insincerity, truly splendid of their kind—of people deceiving one another without (strangely enough) any wounds being inflicted, of people who seem unaware even that they are deceiving one another.”

- excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

People who don't feel human emotions or don't react to circumstances the way humans do have a variety of ways of explaining how they feel inhuman. They are highly intelligent, which separates them from the average class of humankind, since they've analysed and untangled the truths of life in order to attain understanding, which they value above all else. But, this understanding of the world and its painful truths results in a deep kind of sorrow, which only a few people can seem to empathise with in order to help them out with that burden.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”

-excerpt from Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.

Don't you think that this deep sorrow that lies in the heart of the intelligent, makes them the most human of all? They're too human, to the point where they don't feel human. Perhaps, it is a type of defence mechanism, where the mind numbs the heart from feeling normal human emotion, because logically breaking down such concepts is easier than feeling them. But it comes at a price. The heart is willing to recklessly comprehend and fathom any sort of emotion, including pain in its true form, but the mind bears more pain in understanding such concepts because it seeks to decipher every single agonising detail of how complex human emotions are. The mind thinks, the heart feels. There is a clear distinguishing factor between the two. Whether feeling hurts more than thinking, or thinking hurts more than feeling, or whether both these processes work hand-in-hand to make up the reality of life itself, is up for an individual to decide.

Only a few people can seem to empathise with intelligent people who are deeply sad at heart, in order to help them out. As for Dazai, it was Atsushi and Oda. They never took away the pain, but they made him grow from it; it worked vice versa, too.

Of course, there are less tedious and more appealing aspects to the concept of Dazai's intelligence. Dazai was seen as a threat to his enemies because of how manipulation and his keen skill of deduction made up how sharp his mind was. Besides, no one could commit '138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes,' without having a certain level of intelligence, right?

Dazai had the moral alignment of 'chaotic neutral.' He was more focused on using his intellect to achieve the desired end results of a predicament, and he wasn't afraid to use the wrong means. A famous example was when he deflated the airbags of Ango Sakaguchi's car in order to gain the assured protection of Kyouka Izumi.

Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.

Another example was when he blew up Chuuya Nakahara's car.

Just kidding. That was just a simple pastime (；・∀ ・)

His moral alignment points to what Oda said about him: the part where he mentioned that Dazai didn't really see any difference between good and evil. As long as his ends were achieved, especially if it were in the benefit of his fellow colleagues, he wasn't afraid to exploit, threaten, or endanger others' wellbeing. Because, at the end of the day, the end result triumphed the morally bad methods utilised to achieve it, correct? He always had a reason for his motives and actions, even if those actions were evil and inexcusable.

(eg. action: the psychological abuse he bestowed upon Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

motive: to enable him to hone his own ability favourably and to curb his arrogance)

But the consequences of one's actions will always catch up with a person, no matter what heights they've achieved.

Okay, we're reaching the end of my rambling very soon, I promise.

“If I had to go, I’d like to go out just as beautifully.”

“I’d prefer you don’t go.”

This part of the post is highly inspired by iwachuwu!!

An important factor of Dazai's development is highlighted BSD Wan's episode 10:

I'd like to appreciate that this scene focuses on how much Dazai actually means to Atsushi. When Atsushi responds with "I'd prefer you don't go," he said it lightheartedly for he thought Dazai was joking. But he wasn't. And once Atsushi absorbed the fact that Dazai meant what he said, he was overwhelmed with anguish at the thought of ever losing Dazai. Dazai, on the other hand, had a sense of longing on his expression. There was that look of pure desperation on his face. He was so desperate, yet he knew he couldn't act on his desperation due to a promise he'd made to someone dear to him. But keep in mind, Dazai is unpredictable, so we can never be sure of what's going on in that headspace of his.

Nevertheless, this time, Atsushi recognised Dazai's suffering, as no one usually cared to do, and Dazai didn't put in any effort to hide how he truly felt, as he habitually did. And this mutual emotional connection happened countless times during all the times Oda spent with Dazai as well.

To summarise,

Dazai's character had been carefully wired and patterned out in a way only a few would put in the effort to understand. Dazai was more than just suicidal; he was a being wandering from place to place with no specific aim. He was too smart for his own good. Dazai understood too well of how the world worked and deemed it void of any sort of hope.

Side note: Yes, the truth does come at a price, but it all comes down to how a person understands the truth. As for Dazai (both character and the author he was based off upon), well, it was quite tragic. But that's the way it is for some people, I suppose. But everyone has a different path to travel on, remember that.

His transition from working with the Port Mafia to the Armed Detective Agency was proof of how well-executed his character development was. It was two different personas morphed into what he is today: a womaniser with questionable morals a person who is still standing even after the rough refining process endowed upon him by the realities of this life.

However, he had people along the way come and teach him a thing or two, which perhaps made his life a little more interesting. Perhaps these people were passing clouds that hid the void out of sight for just a moment, and Dazai was always seen to be grasping on to these moments, and letting them go whenever it was time to let go.

His outlook on life makes his intellect look all the more intriguing. It shows that not only does his intelligence contribute to his own wit and shrewdness, but also the practical sense of realism that explains how tired he is of the concept of living because of the truths there are to bear.

However he's enduring the pain right now is by far the most bravest thing a person could commit themselves to doing. It takes courage, and it takes strength, but only a few would ever take the time to recognise such efforts.

Dazai has one of the most beautiful character developments, but I do hope that the development doesn't reach its end anytime soon.

fanart credits: @S7dOZPN3jWBB6cW on twitter

“Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.

Everything passes.”

excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

[i-cant-believe-i-wrote-this]

What Makes A Memorable Scene: Joy of Life Edition - Chen Ping Ping

Hi! So I'm a giant fan of the Joy of Life (《慶餘年》) webnovel and TV series, and while I was compiling memorable/emotional scenes to talk about on this book I just realised how very skilled the author (Mao Ni) was in crafting this sort of thing. Therefore I decided to write some posts about memorable and emotional scenes in Joy of Life exclusively!

One of my favourite characters was ✨Chen Ping Ping✨, the badass Head of the Overwatch Department! He had this mix of savageness, calmness, kindness and wisdom in him that just made him an extremely intriguing person. Since I read Joy of Life over a year ago, the scenes about him that I remember most was his downfall. And I've got two scenes I'd like to share with you, even though all parts of the novel about him were gold.

Like my last post, I've translated some excerpts because 1) it's so fun and 2) so I can share them with you!

AS USUAL, SPOILERS AHEAD!

1. The Capture of Chen Ping Ping

Volume 7, Chapter 97: 一根手指與監察院的臣服

Chen Ping Ping is arrested for treason and attempted assassination of the Emperor.

But at this time, He Zong Wei who was standing beside him suddenly said softly, “Best to kill them now, so as to shake their resolve.”

“When did it become your turn to speak about what I do?” Yan Bing Yun tossed out a sentence coldly.

Yet his words could silence He Zong Wei but not the officials of the Overwatch Department, they stood up slowly, watching Yan Bing Yun with an indifferent gaze, as if at a corpse; perhaps the next moment they would collectively move, and charge at the stretcher.

The situation was already at an extremely critical state; Yan Bing Yun squinted at his surroundings, knowing clearly that on his own, he still couldn't suppress the officials' love for Chen Ping Ping.

……

……

An aged finger was suddenly extended.

Everyone was silent, every Overwatch official cast their gaze at that aged finger, the finger that extended from beside the stretcher. The finger shifted slightly, motioning a gesture that every Overwatch official had memorised in their heart.

"Hold!" A Second Bureau official’s heart suddenly overflowed with sorrow, wetness lining the eyes; roared with grief and indignation, and knelt down heavily on both knees.

“Hold!”

“Hold!”

That aged finger seemed to have a certain magical power; it only extended and wagged lightly, subsequently, the courtyard sounded with countless voices saying the word hold; hold means silence, hold means waiting, hold means forbearance, hold means to give up against the will.

Hold means stay where you are.

All the Overwatch Department officials stayed where they were, the word hold from their mouths, two streams of tears flowing downwards, no weight of gold on their knees but with the heaviness of a mountain, striking the floor, watching the stretcher slowly pass them.

Before I say anything else can I say...OUCHH

Two main things here: helplessness and love. These two things feed onto each other, making this scene extremely emotional. This excerpt clearly shows the unbreakable bond between Chen Ping Ping and his officials, and their unbeatable loyalty and love for him. And due to that, Chen Ping Ping's order for them to stand down makes it so heartbreaking due to the dilemma in their minds: save him and break his order as a result, or obey him and watch him get captured? They choose to obey, but this makes them helpless and it becomes unbearable for them to watch him suffer. That emotion is shared by the reader due to their liking for Chen Ping Ping and after witnessing the unwavering loyalty of his officials.

Furthermore, the fact that Chen Ping Ping is thinking for his officials - telling them to stand down, so they aren't punished for treason- moves the reader as well, as this shows his care for them. This reciprocated loyalty is simply super emotional because Chen Ping Ping's goodness is revealed.

2. The Death of Chen Ping Ping

Volume 7, Chapter 102: 雨中送陳萍萍

Chen Ping Ping is executed by the brutal method of "death by a thousand cuts".

The old man in his arms was so light, holding him was like holding a cloud of wind, a cloud of wind that could dissipate anytime. Below the slightly disheveled hair, Fan Xian’s pale face twitched slightly, instinctively reaching out to hold Chen Ping Ping’s old and icy hand, holding it tightly and never letting go.

The old man had suffered unspeakable amounts of pain in this life, and was disabled for half of it, so his qi and blood had exhausted long ago; today during the death by a thousand cuts, not a lot of blood other from the pain had burst out as every slice was made, but the torture of so many cuts still caused blood water to accumulate at a location, wetting the black uniform of the Overwatch Department, making it a little sticky, a little hot, a little scalding.

In the autumn rain, Fan Xian held his frail body lightly, afraid to pain him even more; grasped his icy hand tightly, afraid he would leave just like this.

“Who could make you come back if you refused to? Why did you keep me in Dong Yi City?” Fan Xian spoke lowly and hoarsely, parched lips soaked pale by the rain, peeling slightly, pitiful to the eyes. “Who was I toiling and labouring for all these years, wasn’t it all for you elders to leave the Capital City, to enjoy the days, I was always trying hard...”

“You know I know everything.” Fan Xian lowered his head a bit more, resting it against the old man’s wrinkled face, and in the rain his body swayed, as if coaxing the old man in his arms to sleep.

The hand suddenly tightened for a moment; the old man gripped Fan Xian’s hand firmly with his, but all the energy remaining in his life couldn’t even hold a hand firmly now; it was as if he was unwilling to let something go, or fearing something, so he had to hold on to something below this sky of gale and rain, on this ground of blood and water.

🥲🥲 So 🥲🥲

To be honest, I think sorrow and loss are one of the most impactful emotions to ever write about, especially the death of a loved one. Chen Ping Ping was both loved by Fan Xian and the reader, and he was simply a wonderful father figure that everyone is sorry to see him go, especially in a way as torturous and humiliating as "death by a thousand cuts" (literally, usually more than a thousand tbh). This brings us to two more chilling (and by that I mean extremely impactful) emotions - humiliation and powerlessness. Since the reader is literally helpless against the events within the story, they can definitely empathise with the powerlessness of the characters. And humiliation - yeah you get it. It stings.

Mao Ni's (the author) language was also honed very well to portray this scene as emotive as possible. Let me list out what I found:

Its chapter title! In Chinese it's 雨中送陳萍萍, meaning something like "seeing Chen Ping Ping go in the rain" and he doesn't just go, he dies; that's just so sad dude

The emphasis of Chen Ping Ping's physical weakness especially when he's been described as being powerful and badass the entire novel, which creates a giant contrast

"Holding it tightly and never letting go" - the bond between Fan Xian and Chen Ping Ping is so touching, and that's also a main factor of the emotions in the scene

"It was as if he was unwilling to let something go, or fearing something" - even though Chen Ping Ping never defied his arrest, this shows how he actually doesn't want to die at all, making it even more agonising

AND that's all I have for now! I'll be doing a few (?) more posts on Joy of Life because I absolutely adore it, but for now, see you soon!

Bye bye!

[tizzymcwizzy]

Allow me to explain how I perceive ur personality. U are, simply put, A Lot Of Fun :) always a blast chatting with u miss mctizzles. You have such great positive energy. irresistible goodness. Impossible to not smile when you’re around. and I love your constant enthusiasm. Idk how you are irl vs online but here you always seem to be the life of the party 😌 (like, a fun, relaxing party that my introverted self would want to stay for instead of making an excuse to leave after 30 mins.) you somehow seem both hyper and chill, which is a combo I quite enjoy lol. You are crazy smart and skilled and talented, like so much WAAAAAA packed into your little baby brain wtf!! You also come across as super thoughtful. Like it’s so clear that you are really careful and intentional with your work and that’s so special. u also have a big of an Edge with all your angst content which is owie but also very rad. all in all I would consider you a Kool Kid™️. (See how I used a K to make it extra Kool. yeah that’s for u.) ur kind of like a human caprisun. like, what is not to enjoy about u. impeccable energy. refreshing and invigorating. to me ur vibe can be conveyed with the following images:

ow okay this actually made me cry a lot goddmanit snsnsndbfbbffngng lemme compose myself jesus christ-

maryssa you are a wonderful gift im

I AM PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO COPE WITH THIS. TEARS. IN ME EYES.

this is definitely going into the "pile of posts to read in order to get out of a mental breakdown" my god

i am giving you a platonic smooch,,, im just gonna lay on the floor and put my face in my hands, thinkin abt this for the next 5 million years

i initially put all of the rest of this in the tags but then i reached the tag limit so y'all are now forced to see my insurmountable love for mrs. maryssa carpisuns marichat herself:

OH MY GOD MARYSSA LIKE UNCALLED FOR BUT IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE, LIKE, THIS IS A GIFT OW THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING BUT ALSO FIXING MY HEART,, FUCK.

maryssa i appreciate you so much holy fuck ssjaaaaaajhahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im incoherent,, incomprehensible,, unperceivable,, and yet you pERCIEVED ME AND IT WAS VERY NICE AAAAAAA

self identity is bonkers and im really glad i am percived as Kool with a capital K, what an honor,, im trying to make jokes to cope with my emotions but iM EMOTIONAL

and as for your personality maryssa you are a gift so very kind and passionate and encouraging AS SEEN HERE,, everyday should be carpisuns appreciation day, ALSO--- WHAT AN HONOR TO BE COMPARED TO THE ALL MIGHTY CAPRI-SUN WH- maryssa im love you 💖

when i saw the first image i was instantly like tHATS ME!!! CAUSE-HDHDBDBFBF CAUSE THATS WHAT I LOOKED LIKE AS A KID AAHHAHAHAHA

wait i was complimenting you and then i got sidetracked MARYSSA YOU PUT DO MUCH LOVE AND PASSION INTO EVERYTHING YOU DO AND IT SHINES THROUGH EVERYTIME LIKE WHEN I LOOK AT THE STUFF YOU'VE CRAFTED I LOOK AT ALL OF IT AND I CAN TELL THAT YOU PUT LOVE INTO EVERY BIT OF IT EVEN IF YOU SAY THAT YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR THAT YOU THINK ITS BAD- ITS LOVELY CAUSE YOU MADE IT AND I LOVE IT

also you are like one of the funniest people ever, i can't count on all my appendages how many times I've almost burst out laughing at 2 am, almost waking my poor sleeping family because of you and the joy you bring jdhgdjfgh, i have enough screenshots to make an album of all the memes and jokes you make,, highlight of my day,, evening,,, morning??? my 2 to 4 ams

if i could describe you it would be the funniest, most welcoming and loving mom friend that's hilarious and kind, also very cool but in a "hello my fellow kids" kind of way (affectionate)

in short: you are a gift and ur vibes are very warm and comforting, ty for your nice message (i will literally and genuinely treasure it forever) i love you,, i am so glad i can call you my friend :))

[scarasimplysimping]

These Books Of You

Xingqiu x Adepti Reader

Sypnosis: A boy of noble blood and disciple to the Guhua Clan, Xingqiu has been reading books of the heroic adventures of an elusive adepti, [Y/N] ever since he was a little boy.

Now a bit older, he sets everything aside in a journey to meet you.

(A/N): I planned to put it all in one post but like it wouldn't fit. Part 2 link below.

"How long will you stay with me?"

"Forever."

Liar.

It was midnight. All of liyue was quiet and asleep except for a certain room where you could here the rustling sound of packing made by a young man eager to leave before dusk.

"Are you sure about this?" Chongyun asks, catching his breath after climbing his friend's window.

"Most definitely!" Xingqiu says excitedly as he picks out the books he would be bringing.

Chongyun furrows his eyebrows, "You don't even have a plan!"

"These books are my plan," The dark haired boy says in a wise tone.

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

Xingqiu chuckles in response.

Chongyun begins to rant again. "Where will you go? Where will you search? What will you eat? What if you get mugged?"

Xingqiu laughs harder, "My friend, I appreciate your concern but I assure you. Nothing you say will change my mind. I will search all of Teyvat if I must."

"What if they don't exist? What if it's all fiction? Mere children's fairytales."

This makes Xingqiu stop in his tracks, contemplating the possibility for a few moments before coming to the conclusion, "They are real. I can feel it."

"And what of your family? Your brother?"

"I've left them a letter."

"What will they do with the letter? Teach it chivalry?" Chongyun says sarcastically.

Xingqiu does not bother to reply.

The exorcist sighs in defeat, "Xingqiu, if you don't come back alive, I will kill you."

"Then perhaps it's best if I don't come completely," He teases.

"Then I shall kill you right now and you won't get to leave at all."

The two friends bicker like this for a while until it is time for one's departure.

"Be careful, Xingqiu," Chongyun bids.

"I will. Make sure my family doesn't do anything rash while I'm gone."

The light haired boy rolls his eyes.

"Dear Chongyun, If in any case I don't come back, know that I've always appreciated your friendship."

And just like that, Xingqiu climbs out the window and disappears into the dark of night.

In the early afternoon, you sat peacefully, having tea with Cloud Retainer and Zhongli atop of Mt. Aozang. The breeze was nice and so was the view.

"It's a shame only we came to this tea party. It's been ages since we've gathered with the adeptus," The geo archon spoke.

"This is not a petty tea party. One has called a meeting to discuss the next move regarding a matter of great importance," Cloud Retainer retorted.

"And what might this matter be?" You ask while slouching on your seat, showing no interest.

"One has come to notice that ever since the incident of Osial's return and defeat, mortal's have come to One's domain asking for favors or offering goods much more times than One is comfortable with. The mortal, Aether has also-"

Cloud Retainer could not finish because the sound of your intentionally loud sigh interrupted her.

"Is the almighty Cloud Retainer scared of mortal affection and admiration?" You tease. Even Zhongli could not help but smile a bit.

Cloud Retainer threw you both a look that.. well you could only assume was a glare since she was in the shape of a bird after all.

The light-hearted argument continues until you here a soft grunting from a distance.

You all pause, listening as the voice becomes louder and louder and then, you see a hand grip the edge of the mountain, then another. A dark blue haired young man lifts himself up and throws himself onto the mountain surface, panting heavily.

"Oh.. Sweet.. sweet ground.," He says. You can almost hear him thank the Archons that he's made it this far.

"And what is your purpose of interrupting an important gathering?" Cloud Retainer's voice boomed.

Xingqiu blinked a bit before remembering why he was here in the first place. Quickly, he got up and bowed, still woozy from all the climbing. "I've been traveling for two days, seeking an adepti. I've heard that there's another adepti who lives here and I respectfully ask guidance in my journey," he says, still in a bowing position.

Zhongli recognizes him, "Xingqiu, are you not a little to far from Liyue Harbor?"

Xingqiu, in turn also recognizes the man but dares not question Zhongli's purpose. His only concern was finding you. "Please don't tell my family, Mister Zhongli."

You decide to entertain the mortal, "Well Xingqiu of Liyue Harbor, which adepti is it that you're looking for?"

Only then does he make eye contact with you, Xingqiu is taken in by your beauty. He stares a little too long before answering, "The heroic (Y/N)! The legendary adepti of great legends! They who saved thousands of lives and vanquished thousands more foes!" He says enthusiastically.

You are dumbfounded, never have you been sought after by a mortal for your heroic deeds. This was new. "And where do these legends come from?" You ask nervously.

"The books I've read! I've read every single one of the books that mention them."

Conveniently, you remember that time, thousands of years ago where you saved a family of writers who thanked you relentlessly and swore they'd write of your heroics.

While you are contemplating, Cloud Retainer speaks, "Look no further, mortal. The one you seek is here," She gestures to you.

You glare at her. "Is the mighty (Y/N) scared of mortal affection and admiration?" She mocks.

Xingqiu stares at you, trying to imprint this moment into his brain. "You... you weren't what I was expecting."

"And what were you expecting exactly?" You ask, offended.

"To be honest, I assumed you looked like a bird or fox! I was not expecting someone human and... beautiful." He says almost absent-mindedly.

Beautiful? As in attractive to a mortal's eyes? How dare he use such methods of flattery.

"How long will you stay with-"

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Zhongli and Cloud Retainer decide it was best for them to leave, they quietly dismiss themselves and leave you alone in this awkward situation.

The young man before you just stares at you with dazzled eyes.

"Now that you've found me, what do you plan?" You finally question.

Xingqiu stops for a moment. He didn't really think this far and didn't expect to find you so soon.

"I want to be your friend," Xingqiu blurts out.

You are again, taken aback by his straight-forwardness.

This was unnecessary. A mortal of such fleeting lifespan. How would this benefit you? This wouldn't benefit him either; you think to yourself. This is nothing but mortal entertainment. You had no interest in entertaining a mortal at your expense.

"I have no need for mortal company," You say firmly, all your nervousness replaced with a cold gaze.

"Please? I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life-"

"And now you have. Go."

"I swear to the Seven Archons I shall serve you well-"

"No!" This time, you raise your voice. "Go home," and with that, you vanish into thin air.

Xingqiu is sad and dejected,  even on verge of tears but he does his best to keep it together. "Very well," He quietly whispers.

Xingqiu, climbing down the mountain is several feet away from the ground when his mind wonders back to you and the harsh rejection. "Well it's not like an adepti to mortal friendship is common anyway. At least I got to meet them," He says, trying to look on the bright side. He assures himself that he will return.

Tears start bluring his vision and he takes a wrong step, causing him to plummet down and make a loud thump sound.

He groans in pain. For the most part, he was unharmed except for his right hand which was twisted in a weird position.

"Drat! Xingqiu, how pathetic can you be? You fall and just had to break your right arm, you're sword hand!" He scolds himself.

The good part of this was that it was nightfall now, if he was lucky, all the hilichurls around the area would be asleep and he could avoid combat.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans as he sees a hydro abyss mage that he could have sworn was not there before. And the abyss mage sees him.

Xingqiu curses and tries to make a run for it, but as he was still limping from the fall, the mage catches up to him and teleports in front of him. Xingqiu stumbles backwards. In a desperate attempt, he shouts your name. But the abyss mage wasn't going to wait for you to show up. The young man suddenly feels himself getting drowned. So was this it? Rejected by a childhood dream, almost fell to his death and was currently being drowned? What a weird day. What a sad way to die. It's almost poetic. Xingqiu was slowly beginning to lose consciousness, coming to terms with this tragic death when he felt the bubble burst, quite literally.

He fell to the ground, the last thing he saw was the vanishing particles of a defeated abyss mage and what appeared to be a silhouette of a person- Xingqiu was saved!... and falling unconscious.

After you rescued him, you hurriedly brought him to Wangshu Inn, blurting out to Verr Goldet that you almost let a mortal die.

You paced back and fourth at the terrace. While the vigilant yaksha, Xiao watches you with annoyance.

"What if he dies?" You ask frantically.

"You dressed his wounds quiet well. He won't die unless someone comes in and murders him," Xiao says as if trying to be comforting.

Xingqiu awakens from his slumber, body still aching. A cast of bandages was made in order to support his broken arm.

The door slowly opens, you walk in with some hot soup and set it on the bedside table. It didn't take him long to realize that you were the one who saved him.

"You're awake," You state the obvious but almost sigh in relief. "Despite the attack, you managed to go almost unscathed.. except for well, your broken arm."

"Thank you... You really are my hero," Xingqiu says, once again beaming at you.

"Don't come back to Mt. Aozang,"

"Wait- what?" His face falls. And all the feelings of being rejected earlier come back.

"If...," You hesitantly start, "If you must see me, then I spend one night a week at the statue of Pervases." This was a lie, of course. But you were willing to do as you said if that meant the mortal, Xingqiu would stop going through such dangerous measures in order to meet you.

As if like a switch, his bright smile returned almost instantly. "My liege, you won't regret this!"

"Drink your soup and meet me at the terrace when you're prepared to return for Liyue Harbor." You don't know why you say what you say next but it felt right, "and call me (Y/N)."

You shut the door behind yourself quickly, leaving Xingqiu alone in the room, euphoric.

"You should not get too close to mortals," Xiao warns once you reach the terrace.

"I will not."

"In the thousand that I've known you, never once have I seen you prepare soup for a mortal.. or immortal."

"That means nothing."

"And I suppose your made up visits to the statue of Pervases mean nothing as well?"

He had a point there."Don't eavesdrop on my conversations, Alatus."

He glares at the sudden mention of the name. "Their lives are fleeting, (Y/N). The peace at the end of their journey is just a thousand years of grief for us if we so choose to befriend them. I just warn you because I care for you," Xiao says before vanishing from your sight.

He was right. You knew that. Of all the adepti, Xiao knew you the most. He was there when the mortal part of you was taken away in exchange for eternal life, after all.

You loved once. But that did not end well.

"How long will you stay with me?"

"Forever."

Liar

Never again.

Shortly after Xiao's departure, Xingqiu arrives with that ever so charming smile.

Charming? Did you just think that? Right after promising yourself to solitude? Oh dear...

"I've prepared! Will we go on foot or will you fly us there? I must warn you I get motion sick-" He stops talking when he notices you taking steps toward him. You put a hand on his shoulder and Xingqiu's mind goes blank. Was this approval? Mutual admiration? Were you friends now?

"Close your eyes," You tell him.

To which he obeys without hesitation. He's read enough romance books to know where this is going. Xingqiu would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous but at the same time he was extremely excited. His train of thought is cut short when he feels a harsh gust of wind blow his way.

"You may open them now."

He does and to his surprise, the both of you are back at Liyue Harbor, specifically the bridge.

"We... teleported?" He asks, embarrassed of his thoughts just moments ago.

You nod. "This is as far as I'll go. Make it back to your residence carefully and get some rest."

"Can't you come with me?"

"No."

"I have a friend who-"

"No."

"We can grab some countryside delicacy-"

"No."

He sighs in defeat, "But I'll see you tomorrow night, right?"

"Perhaps."

Xingqiu, in a moment of elation and not thinking properly, abruptly takes your hand and places a kiss on your knuckles.

Realizing what he had done the dark haired boy glows red as apples and lets go as quick as he took hold of you. "W-well... good-bye then."

The boy leaves you dumbfounded once again.

Part 2

V

[itsadamcole]

you’re not broken - pt. 2

fem!reader x kyle o’reilly

a year has passed since Kyle proposed to reader. Christmas Day 2021 is here, which is the date that reader and Kyle decided on for their wedding. reader invites her family, and her mother is not very happy ...

word count: 2k+

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of a plane crash, very angsty, a touch of smut, implied sex, defensive!kyle, upset!reader

— this is for whoever wanted a part 2. i hope you enjoy —

masterlist || request an imagine here

part 1

~ some 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You smile and look at yourself in the mirror of your bridal suite. It's been a year to the day since Kyle proposed to you. It's Christmas Day 2021 and you stand in your dress. A smile is painted across your lips as your maid of honor, Tegan Nox, fixing the veil that is attached to a little tiara.

The dress itself is mermaid style. The skirt begins to flare out at your knees, and there's a layer of sparkly fabric. There are no sleeves and a sparkly silver belt sits around your waist. The skirt and veil leave a small train behind you.

There's a knock on your suite door and you call, "Come in! Unless your name is Kyle O'Reilly."

The door opens and your now fourteen year old sister pops her head in. "Mom just got here," she says. "And she looks ridiculous."

Your eyebrows come together as the door slams open. Your mother stands in a white cocktail dress. Your eyes widen and you say, "Are you literally kidding me right now? You're really wearing a white dress to your own daughter's wedding?"

"Y/N, I tried to get her to change but she wouldn't listen to me," your sister immediately says.

Your eyes don't leave your mother. You say, "I can't believe you, Mom. I really can't. I held my title for almost 700 days, I was a double champion for 200 days. I don't know what else I can do to prove to you that I'm not my sister."

Tegan looks at you and your mother before your mother says, "You're nothing like your sister, honey. You're still alive while she's dead."

Your younger sister says, "Mom! It's her wedding day! Are you serious right now?"

"Y/OS/S will never get a wedding day," your mother states. "She'll never have kids. She'll never have the family that Y/N plans on having with Kyle."

Tears well up in your eyes and you say, "That's not my fucking fault. It's the pilot's fault. He's the reason the plane took a nosedive into the Atlantic with her on it."

Your mother walks up to you and says, "It should've been you!"

You flinch away from your mom as the door opens. You see your grandmom walk in. Your dad's mom. Your mom's mother-in-law.

"You better not have said what I think you said to my granddaughter," your grandmom says.

The angry look in your mother's eyes turns into annoyance or fear. You can't tell but the tears that formed are now falling down your face.

Your grandmother says, "You wore white to your own daughter's wedding. You're seriously that low.

Y/S/N runs over and hugs you. You hug her back as your mother says, "Why shouldn't I have? It's not like she doesn't deserve it." She shoots a glare in your direction.

Maybe she's right.

You look at your sister and ask, "Where's Kyle's room? I need to talk to him."

Your sister says, "He's in room 103."

As you go to leave, your mother says, "Oh, running away as per usual."

"I'm going to tell my fiancé that I'm not getting married if my own mother tries to ruin it," you say. "It's one thing if one of my exes or one of Kyle's try to ruin it because I can handle that. I can't handle my own mother showing up in a white dress to my own wedding."

You leave the room and walk down to Kyle's.

After standing outside the room for a second, you knock. "One second!" you hear from the inside.

You wait patiently as the door opens, revealing not Kyle but Adam Cole. He looks confused and says, "You're not supposed to be here, Y/N."

"I need to, um, talk to Kyle," you say, voice shaky.

Adam looks at you confused before he says, "I'll go get him." Adam walks off. Kyle appears in front of you seconds later.

Your fiance looks at you and asks, "Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Kyle engulfs you in a hug and you say, "My mom showed up in a white dress, Kyle. A freaking white dress. Then she started saying how my sister will never get a wedding or have a family like us, and she said that it should've been me. She's ruined the day, Kyle. I can't do this today."

"Can't do what?" he asks, looking down at you. You look up at him with tears in your eyes.

You cry, "I can't get married today. I can't do it."

He gets a look in his eyes and he says, "I'm going to talk to your mother. Where is she?"

As Kyle whips your tears away, you say, "My room. 109."

Kyle walks down the hallway and you follow him. He bursts into the room and says, "How fucking dare you show up to our wedding in a white dress. How fucking dare you say to Y/N that it should've been her that died in that crash. This is Y/N's day. It's her day, and you're here to, what, tell her that she should have died? I'm sorry that Y/OS/N died, I wish I could have met her, but I know that she sure as hell wouldn't want you ruining her younger's sister's wedding day. Either get out of that dress, support Y/N, and get your act together or get the fuck out and go home."

Kyle being supportive and defensive makes you change your mind back instantly to wanting to marry Kyle today. If he's willing to put up with this side of your family then you're one hundred percent ready to marry him today, no matter what.

"Who do you think you are speaking to me like that?" your mother retorts. "I am-"

You watch as Kyle cuts her off. "I don't give two shits who you are," he says, making you cover a small smile that has begun to form on your lips. "You could be the president and I wouldn't fucking care. Stop talking to Y/N like she did something wrong because she didn't. It's not her fault that Y/OS/N died. She's worked harder than I've ever seen her work since you told her she was nothing like Y/OS/N. 678 days as NXT Women's Champion and 200 days as WWE Women's Tag Team Champion. That's a hell of an accomplishment that I'll never achieve but you should be proud of her instead of fucking bashing her! Grow the hell up or get out!"

Your mother looks at Kyle and looks at you behind him. Your grandmother looks almost proud and your younger sister is smiling.

Kyle has officially put your mother in her place and she's officially speechless. She also doesn't look happy.

There's tension in the air as you wait for someone to make a move.

Your mother grabs her things and walks toward the door. She stops and says, "Enjoy your life, Y/N. I never want to see or talk to you again."

Then she leaves and you're heartbroken. Your own mother won't watch as you say I do to Kyle.

Honestly, you're not that upset about it, just heartbroken that it had to come to this.

You look up at Kyle and he looks at you. "Y/N, I'm so-"

Before he can say another word, you put your hands on his cheeks and kiss him. Hard. It's a hard kiss.

Your grandmother says, "Alright, let's go Y/S/N. We shouldn't be here for this."

"But I wanna see what happens," she says, leaving the room with your grandmom.

There's a laugh as your grandmother says, "No you don't."

The door closes and Kyle pulls back from the kiss, looking down at you. "What was that for?" he asks.

You say, "No one's ever put her in her place like that, and honestly, it was hot."

Kyle laughs and says, "You would find it hot, wouldn't you?"

"I've never seen you get so defensive," you say. "It was so hot, especially with the cursing."

Your fiancé's cheeks turn a light red and he smiles. "Remind me to ask Regal to let me curse in the ring when cutting promos," Kyle says.

You lean up and kiss Kyle again. "Please do," you say.

Kyle kisses you back and cups your cheeks. You smile into the kiss, wrapping your hands around Kyle's wrists.

The two of you stand in the room like that for a few minutes, and you feel a small ache between your legs. Kyle's cursing affected you more than you thought.

You pull back from the kiss and look up at Kyle.

"I don't think I can wait for tonight," you admit.

Kyle glances at the time then sheds his suit jacket. He undoes his tie before he says, "We got time. About thirty minutes."

You reach behind you and unzip your dress as you say, "I think we'll only need fifteen."

As soon as you're both naked, you're laid out on the bed with Kyle on top of you.

Let's just say that it was the best pre-wedding sex of all time.

***

Kyle gets dressed and goes back to his room with the Undisputed Era boys as soon as you're both done in bed.

You slip your dress back on as Tegan, your younger sister, and your best friend come into the room.

"Oh, Y/N," Tegan says, hiding a laugh. "Your chest is a mess."

You look down to see that Kyle definitely left his mark on you. Your cheeks heat up and your best friend says, "Must've been good. I can promise you that tonight will be even better."

"He's already planning for tonight," you giggle. "He told me that he was holding back until tonight, and it was still some of the best we've had."

Your sister has her ears covered and you laugh at the sight.

The girls help get you fixed up and ready to walk down the aisle.

Twenty minutes later, it's time. You walk down the aisle with your father, who told your mother to leave without him because he wasn't missing your wedding.

The ceremony is taking place outside right next to an ocean. It's a beautiful day outside in Florida. A warm 60 something degrees with a slight breeze. It's a warm Christmas Day. It usually is.

Kyle stands at the end of the aisle under a white arch covered in white flowers.

Your father hands you off to Kyle, who's smiling at you. "That dress looked better on the floor," he says quietly. A smirk follows the comment.

"Behave yourself, Mr. O'Reilly," you giggle.

Kyle says, "I'll try my best, Mrs. O'Reilly."

You smile at your new last name, even if it's not official yet.

You meet Kyle's eyes and as soon as they do, you don't break eye contact with him. Not when you were saying your vows and not while you were crying as Kyle said his.

It takes an eternity for the official to say, "By the power invested in me by the state of Florida, I pronounce you man and wife. Kyle, you may kiss your bride."

"I've already done that once today," Kyle says. "Or a few dozen times." The crowd laughs. "But I'll do it again."

And he does. He seals the marriage with a kiss.

The crowd claps and you pull back from the kiss. You don't pull that far away as you say, "I love you, Kyle."

Kyle smiles and says, "And I love you, Y/N."

Then the two of you share a second kiss as husband and wife.

[thelucyverse]

Part 1, part 2

Tw: violence

The old Order headquarters being in Time Cottage, Tinworth, is from 'Pride of Time' by AnubisAnkh, one of the best HP fanfics I've read this year (and I probably took so long to notice it because it has a ship I don't usually ship, but then again the same can be said for this fanfic here...); Tinworth itself is a HP canon magical settlement I think

Back in Europe, I get ready to make new experiments while I also wait for all of Tom Riddle's horcruxes to be killed by the Order (I can't bear to call him the Dark Lord in my head, and I am afraid to think of him as Voldemort, afraid of what it would do should I accidentally say it out loud one day).

In September of 1981, my research and soul-magic training is coming to a close, and I believe that I will have more time than I could possibly need with how slow the hunt for further Horcruxes is going, so when Bellatrix asks me to attend the annual Malfoy Yule Ball with her- "And not just to show our faces for half a minute, either, I want to /dance/!"- I readily accept. She smiles brightly- my positive influence seems to work, she thawed immensely from when I arrived back in England to now- and we kiss. It has been a long time that we have kissed in private, just kissed.

It is on this very Yule ball that my careful plans of only moving on to fixing the souls of his followers when Riddle is most vulnerable are wrecked and my hand is forced: my positive influence on Bella really is already working and more so than expected. I only get a moment of warning when her aura shifts- her soul wants to reconnect- and she goes down with a pained cry I stifle with a muffliato.

It had to happen at Malfoy Manor, the one place it shouldn't, always filled by Deatheaters and high society that even frequented by Voldemort... I am lucky to get Bella into a private room- Lucius' study- with minimal attention, only Narcissa noticed and actually helps, afraid for her sister, understanding that something is wrong.

Inside, Bella collapses, I don't even manage to get her into the armchair, she just falls to the floor, clinging to me desperately, afraid for her life. My ears are ringing with fear- this isn't how it was supposed to go, I'm not prepared, I don't know how to help her- Bellatrix whispers something, and for a moment I think I didn't understand her right. "Love you." she coughs out. "Didn't say it before, but-" "You're not going to die." I hiss. "Bella, you're not going to die, and we are going to fucking /talk/ when this is all over." she laughs even when her eyes roll back in her head in pain. "You don't have to say it back if you don't-" I take the chain with the promise ring on my neck and press it to her skin. "That's not what I'm saying at all. You-"

"What are you doing?!" Narcissa must have seen me pressing the metal to her sister's neck and come to the wrong conclusion. She's pointing her wand at me, but I don't even bother to disarm her, instead dangling the chain with the ring in her face. "Nothing but reminding her to live!"

With a shaky breath, Narcissa lowers her wand. I hadn't expected her to trust me so quickly, but maybe she's just that rattled. "Then what?? What happened? Has she been poisoned? Do I need to get Severus? Do I-" "No." I say. "We need to-"

Before I can finish the sentence, Lucius enters, and I stupefy him without waiting for him to talk. I like Narcissa well enough, but I can't stand her husband, and I won't be taking any chances now. Open-mouthed, Narcissa quickly closes the door, pushing Lucius' foot out of the way- I'm glad, thinking that she doesn't much seem to care for him- when she bends down, checking for his pulse, making sure he is alright with a kind of urgency... I squint- and notice a dark connection between them literally binding her to him. Not soul-magic, but she probably can't kill or actively oppose him without being in terrible pain. A kind of vow? A problem for later.

"Narcissa?" I speak up. "/You/ need to do a round of the party now so as not to draw suspicion. Lucius will be unharmed when you return." still unconscious, though, hopefully, I think while I tie the man up for good measure. Narcissa nods shakily, gets her appearance in order and disappears.

Once I am alone with her, I set to work getting Bella's soul reconnected to itself. Like in delirium, I weave healing spells over healing spells while whispering sweet nothings in her ear, hoping she will hear it, hoping she will be herself again when it is all over... Bella screams, and I put up a new muffliato, cursing myself for not thinking about it earlier and hoping that no-one has heard or thought anything of it. Lucius wakes and I stun him again before he can say anything. Then I focus on Bellatrix, lighting up the essence of a soul with a spell Melodenia taught me so I can see what is going on- and I gasp. It's like her soul is stretched thinly between herself and the horcrux, wherever it is. Without the preparative spells, her soul is yanking at it in uncontrolled bursts, getting more of her soul back but also stretching the connecting piece way too thinly... Biting the inside of my cheek, I focus on her soul and dive into the world of soul magic.

There is so much pain. I wonder how Bella hasn't given up on life yet if this is what she is feeling right now. Distantly, I feel tears in my eyes while I let my magic move further along her soul strand, towards the Horcrux, a burning piece of dark magic- I really hope the Dark Lord isn't keeping this anywhere near him, there is no way he won't feel what I am about to do otherwise. And there is no way I will delay this to find out.

With a black-hot shock wave, the Horcrux explodes from the inside out.

Screaming, I fall back, my magic lashing out as I try to get rid of that tainted spell it touched. Now, I’m glad I only did this for her and didn’t try to cut all deatheaters lose at once, even better prepared that would have been a nightmare. I don’t blame Melodenia for not telling me that, though- there’s no way she could have known, she never tried to split her soul in two before, after all.

Drawing in ragged breaths, I sit up, my hand fluttering over Bella’s still form at its own volition. Why isn’t she waking? Her body is unharmed, and her soul is there, I can feel it- oh. Now that I am really looking, I notice that there are still streaks of magic, of curses in someone else’s magical signature surrounding her. I hadn’t noticed it before due to the nature of the Horcrux connection, but now it is obvious: her Dark Mark, connected directly to the Dark Lord. Either Riddle noticed, or there is a failsave, because now that the Horcrux is gone, something is happening- and I can’t stop it. I /could/, but with how weak I am now, the curse would just burn through me should I lift it. While I truly love Bellatrix, I am not ready to die in her stead. I have to think quickly-

In that moment, Narcissa returns, and I am reminded of the connection she has to that evil husband of hers, who is still in the room... “Please tell me you do not actually care for Lucius Malfoy.” Narcissa opens her mouth to speak, but chokes on her own words. I nod. As I thought. With quick, slashing spells I end the Vow or whatever it was that kept her bound to him. She collapses as if her strings are cut, but I don’t take the time to make sure she is alright- instead turning to Lucius: “Imperio.”

Through Lucius’ eyes, the magic looks different, as if he can’t quite tell what is good and what is bad. Maybe good and bad are just defined entirely differently to him. With my theoretical knowledge, I still find the curse again- and when I force Lucius to ignore the pain, the burning, I keep looking and find more than just that. An entire network of curses, leading from Deatheater to Deatheater to Voldemort. Not all of them are connected, at least not equally so, there seems to be a second network only slightly touching the first, but still- I can take down many Death Eaters in one go with this. I just have to make sure I don’t kill Bellatrix in the process. 

The connection of the Marks is a literal maze. Getting Bella free is still my priority, and as soon as I identify hers, I start to first push back the magic that is seeping into her, and, when I hear her gasp as she comes awake, one by one destroy the connections she has to the others. 

Bellatrix is free. I only take a moment to blink from my Imperius-Lucius-view to make sure she is alright- Narcissa is with her, of course, the other woman had never taken the Mark so she should be fine now- before diving back into the Maze of Dark Marks, getting right in the middle of it and destroying the curse from the inside out. Lucius screams despite the Imperius curse when the Dark Lord’s magic is burning his hands before his own Dark Mark explodes, taking his entire arm with him- he doesn’t have to live that way for long as the magic seeping through the maze tears him apart. Throwing up a shield, I banish his body and all magic it carries to go Merlin-knows-where.

The Dark Marks are gone. the Horcruxes remain. Can I get them the same way I got the Marks? 

Leaning down briefly to kiss Bella’s forehead and stroke her cheek, I stumble to the door, opening it a fraction to look out. The party is in disarray, many have felt the change in the Mark. I see Nott and Avery stumbling against each other a few metres away- easy targets, them. I imperio Avery first, and then I have /him/ imperio Nott- now Nott is the only one who can still use his magic for anything but holding up the imperius curse. Didn’t I already mention that this curse is stupid? But in this case, it would help me. letting Avery and Nott walk into the middle of the room, I then let Nott walk further, waiting for- ah! Sabina, a woman I am quite certain is an illegitimate half-blood instead of the pure blood she claims, and definitely affected by a Horcrux. Nott- or rather his body, lead by Avery’s curse and my command- walks into her, touches her arm as if to steady her- and then his magic is reaching into her soul. Feeling along the link towards the Horcruxes. Yes, there are more soul-pieces closeby, I can reach them- I don’t know whether this means that the Horcruxes are physically close together or just that they have been forged by the same hand, souls work in funny ways sometimes, after all. I don’t much care either way, just commanding Avery to command Nott to destroy them all- and then break the connection of the imperius while Avery passes on the command. 

If the way Sabina stumbles while Nott screams and burns and Avery falls to his knees is any indication, it must have worked.

I hurry back into the study, to Narcissa and Bellatrix. "Are you alright??" I ask, kneeling down next to Bella "Yes." she coughs out, but I can see the fear and confusion in her eyes. "Are you?" she adds. I just nod, pressing my forehead to hers, just breathing for a while. "What in the stars names /was/ that?" Narcissa's shout breaks our moment of peace. Huh. I didn't realise she could screech like that. And I don't think she knows /any/ real curse words. With a sigh, I get up, pulling Bellatrix to her feet, too.

"Your soul fixed itself" I tell Bella. "It- I had noticed a while ago that something was wrong with it, and suspected the Dark Lord might be behind it. I was still doing research, I nearly had it- and then today, it just started to fix itself, well, I helped it along a bit when I noticed that it had started. What I saw confirmed that it was Riddle by the way- the Dark Lord, I mean. I also broke the hold he had over you through the Dark Mark, oh, and Lucius' hold on Narcissa. Well, pretty sure he's dead now anyway." I sum up what had happened. Both stare at me, completely baffled. Feeling uneasy, I shift from one leg to the other. "So. Are you two ready to break with Voldemort and all his beliefs?"

Bellatrix is startled into a laugh. "I think we already did that quite thoroughly..." she snorts out.

Narcissa looks at her as if she has gone insane- then pales. "Draco! I have to- if someone notices-" Oh. I had completely forgotten about the kid. Not my proudest moment. "Uh, you hadn't left him with someone who's Marked, have you?" Now, both look at me like I'm insane. "You think anyone that high up would bother to play nursemaid??" Bellatrix asks. "Not even I would bother- no offense, sister." "None taken." Narcissa says curtly. "Now, I am going to get my son, and then- and then-" "I know where we can go" I say, feeling slightly sorry to force her out of her own home, but we really better move now- although really I should feel more sorry for the Order for having to put up with the three of us now. "If you are ready to leave not just the Dark Lord but blood supremacy in general behind, too, that is." Bella just shrugs. "'s long as you're there..." we smile at each other, and then I have to look away as I remember that I can't really promise that, that I have no idea how long I still have in this world. Shaking myself from these depressing thoughts, I swipe Tom Riddle's diary from Lucius' cabinet before leaving the room.

Narcissa goes to collect Draco from his nurse in the private chambers, and Bella and I disillusion each other, then lean against the corridor wall, hexing whoever comes past and doesn't look too friendly. Deatheaters, general scumbags, oh, Fenrir Greybag, that one I stun and disillusion, too. Might be a good present for the order, or something, showing that I don't want them to just pardon all former bad guys. It doesn't get to that, however, when one of the Carrows- Amycus? I honestly can't tell under the robes and the blood- realises where our jinxes are coming from and tries to fight back, sending a killing curse- well, moving Greyback in the way of that was self defense, really. And it's not like anyone's going to spill any tears over it. Carrow moves in for another blow- and is taken down from behind.

"Fuck, I've always wanted to do that."

A young man stands behind him, wand dangling from his hand, dark hair in disarray and a bloody nose. For a moment, he looks exactly like Sirius Black, but then I recall: this is Regulus! I didn't even know that he was still alive... His name had been on a lost of people I had planned to save, back in the very beginning when I arrived in this world. But then I didn't know when exactly it would happen to save him myself, and I had no information to prove his innocence or reform to the Order... Of course, the Order had found the locket earlier than him because of me. Did he go there, see it was gone and disappear again instead of drinking the poison? Or did he never try to leave the Deatheaters at all? The way he had just taken down one of Voldemorts' henchmen just because, in the current chaos, he had been able to, made me believe otherwise.

Disillusioning myself (and throwing up a shield at the same time, I'm not stupid), I stepped forward. "Regulus Black, is it not?" "Who wants to- oh, you're Bella's girl, aren't you?" my eye twitched at being called anyone's girl, but I ignored it for now. "Are you done being a pawn for the Dark Lord?" He blinked. Then actually laughed. "You know- yes. Why, are you leaving your wife behind? Wait, are you the reason for all this chaos?" "We are." Bella stepped forward too, and in the same moment, Narcissa came hurrying up behind us, baby Draco in her arms. Regulus stared at us for a moment, then started to laugh again. I see how he's related to Sirius. "You know- yes, whatever this is, I'm in."

I look at Narcissa. "Have you ever been to Tinworth?" If I apparate the four of us all the way there, I wouldn't have the power left to defend Bellatrix should it come to a conflict. Thankfully, everyone knows the village, Narcissa disapparating with Draco first, then Regulus, than me with Bellatrix although she insists that she is fine. We apparate to the east of the town, regroup and I apparate us to the closed off partage in front of the cottage that I had insisted on- it is not under the fidelius, so one can take others there, but it's protected by enough spells that new members can be read into the Secret without the possibility of anyone seeing and attacking. My past paranoia and overthinking comes in handy now. Letting the others stand behind me after telling them to watch each others backs and call for me should anyone show up, I move to open the door, knowing that I will disappear from their view as soon as I'm in the doorstep. I don't want to leave Bella alone, but this is the easiest way to prove that I am myself and not someone under polyjuice who doesn't know the Secret.

"Hello?" I call out. "Anybody home?"

Part 4