#i just aant friens

[replacement-dad-blog]

ignore this if you want it's just me having a CrisisTM and also some crying

ok i know no one is going to see this but i'm having a dilemma and i Don't Know What To Do. okay so i think i might be aromantic and i'm chill with that bUt my problem is... i have a girlfriend,,, and she's depressed af and has had her heart broken so many times and i don't want to hurt her and i really, really care about her, but,,, i don't think i can do this anymore,,, im so scared of being alone and i would love to be like queerplatonic partners or whatever but spoiler alert, we're really young and i probably won't be able to explain it properly also i'm not happy??? like... i'm pretty uncomfortable in the relationship, she's kind of a sjw and i'm not like... emotionally ready to deal with that and i really don't think i should be dating or anythingat this pointing like cause like spoiler le spoil i'm like,,,, wellmh age rhymes with welve and oh shit,,, im crying now sorry if my spelling goes to shit. i don't think i feel romantic attraction but the thing is ive had very short (VeRY ShORT) crush like... obsessions?? for people. like, it almost feels like a crush (or what people discribe crushes as) but it's just me relizing "hey this is a cool person who is also astheticly pleasing let's try to be there freind" but i've always been told that they are crushes and them i thought i had crushes on all my best friends but i didn't and also i'm not sure the "sexual" attraction is like sexual? i really think i might be aroace but i've like thought i was pansexual demiromantic for like years now and i'm already out to like everyone as THAT and i don't want to like, go SiKe (i know it's not the proper word i just can't make the words go) o everyone and then explain to my mother that she won't ever have a son/daughter/child in law, at least on my side but i can't keep pretending anymore. i just want like,,, a fairy or a demon or a fucking god for all i care,,, to come and just,,, fix me? so i don't have to cause such a fuss and i can just be happy with my girlfriend and- and not to mention the fact that if i do fuckin dump her (cause that's what i'd be doing don't fucking lie) she wouldn't be able to tell her. parent s cause she's not out to them yet, and i've kind of,,, taking advantage of her family a little bit? like not intentionally but i'm pretty clearly one of the only people to truly be friends with her and whenever i go out with her, because we are so young (she's a year older than me) her father comes with because he thinks we are Purely Platonic Heterosexuals. but he always insists on buying my things when i go shopping with them or coving my cost for things when i don't have enough (also i'm pretty sure he thinks my family is broke but that's anouther story altogether) and i'll just feel so guilty because--- you know,

anyway i'm not done and i feel like im going to have a panic attack but its 4 i the morning and my bedtime is 12 and i feel like shit and i just want to talk but i can't because i don't trust anyone?!??? but nbahbma it s teing to be too lonnng so i'm sorry s to anyone hi seesn

this,,, i really wish i were friend with you guys but i'm just a no body and i'm so sorry you have to deal with my shot

i can't saya anything to detadtick because my mom monitors my account because she doesn't TrUst MeTM but that's okay omhah i typed olay but it auto corrected and it was really funny

i can see the typos and stuff. ht not reallyyyy and i think i'm getting hysteric but that's okayyyy i'm fineeeeeeeeee

anywhah milomeepit pr whatever i think you're really cool and i really want to talk to you but i'm not gonna tag you but his oklsau