#i jokingly said to lucia 'they really do be out there trying to make their ship' popular

[thev01dd]

tag vent post

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part seventeen/

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This seems stale to me, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve that will be coming

Warnings: language, angst

Taglist: @oskea93, @brideofdraculana, @xstarryeyes, @aryssav, @miserablecunt, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @tiranni, @electradestiny, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @dillightfulpickle, @baiabouk, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @madsthegroupie, @martabastic, @hoop-diddy-doo, @romanticvengeance, @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill, @gees-jacket-slut, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @motlycrue, @moonlightxcal, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @broke-n-bitchy

I was currently sitting on my back patio, enjoying a cup of coffee while smoking a cigarette,

“Van you got a phone call.” I turned my head and Lucia was holding the phone, “If it’s Nikki, I don’t want to to talk to him.” I said, while going back to reading my magazine,

“No it’s not him, but he did call a few minutes ago.” I rolled my eyes, reaching my hand back as she placed the phone on my palm,

“Hello?” I asked annoyed,

“You have a collect call from the Los Angeles County Jail, to accept this call please press one.”

I almost choked on my coffee,

“Vince!!” I shouted his name, “Vanity Blackwood, it’s so nice to hear your voice.”

“How are you doing? Are you okay?”

“Yes darling I’m okay, how are you doing? Tommy mentioned you have been successfully ignoring Nikki, points for you girl.”

I smiled at myself,

“He’s such an asshole, I can’t stand him right now.” I said with a sigh, “I know, I know he’s difficult at times...but look I don’t have a whole lot of time to talk, I have a few questions for you.” I put down the cup of coffee, trying to pay attention to him.

“Look, I don’t know if you’ve heard but the lawyer I have is a complete slime ball, he’s trying to get me to do the maximum sentence of five years, I can’t do that. I have a baby on the way.”

I continued to listen to him, “I feel like absolute shit, I’m having to sober up cold turkey and it fucking sucks, I can’t sleep cause all I see is Razzle, I miss the guy so much.” I heard him sigh,

“And I need help, you’re help to be exact.” I was confused,

“My help? With what? I’m not following you Vince.” I asked him, while looking down at my nails.

“I know you’re family has a lot of money, and I know with that you probably have really good fucking lawyers. Do you think you can help me out? I’ll pay all their fees obviously...I just need some fucking help Van...Doc and Tom aren’t doing me justice.” I chewed on my lip as I thought about it,

“Let me make some calls, I’ll have someone contact the district attorney and they will get in touch with you that way alright, just give me a day or two.” I explained, hearing him sigh in relief,

“God damnit, if I wasn’t married I’d give you the world Vanity.” I laughed at his response,

“You’re too pretty to be in there. I’ll help get you home okay? Call me soon.” I told jokingly, which made him laugh, “Alright, bye Vanity and thank you.” “Bye Vince.” I said, hanging up and putting the phone on the table.

“So you’re gonna call your lawyers?” I turned my head slightly, noticing Lucia, “I have too.” I sighed, realizing what I’ve just done.

“Two of them I already know won’t take this case, it has bad news written all over and that means no money...but I know He would..” I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples at the same time.

“He as in....” Lucia trailed off, and I stared her, “Julian...” I cringed when I said his name out loud. Just sounding it out made my stomach flip.

“He’ll expect something from me...maybe if I just have a middle man, Maybe Doc or Tom, so I don’t physically have to do it.” I tried brainstorming,

“Nikki?” I laughed when Lucia brought him up, “That’s a horrible fucking idea.” I sighed and got up going back inside. I walked over to my desk that was over flowing with papers Mom wanted me to look over.

“Are you sure you want too? I mean I know he wasn’t-“ I glared at Lucia, she instantly stopped talking, “Vanity, are you absolutely sure?” She asked, a concerned look on her face. My hands were shaking as my nerves started to sky rocket.

“I need to help Vince, that’s all I’m worried about...if I have to talk to see or speak to him, I just can’t be alone in the same vicinity as him. I don’t trust him for one minute, but he’s a damn good lawyer, and I know he can help Vince out.” I groaned, pushing my hair out of my face as I flipped open my address book.

The phone started ringing again, “If it’s Nikki, tell him to stop calling.” I said as Lucia brought the phone up to her ear,

“Hi Tommy......uh yeah Vanitys home......oh yeah she knows he’s been calling.”

I rolled my eyes, it’s only been a few days since Nikki basically told me I was just a piece of ass to him, and I haven’t said a single word to him. So as stubborn as he is, he hasn’t stopped calling, his calls ringing through the house about ten times a day.

“uh why doesn’t she answer? Uh Van?” Lucia questioned, looking at me, “Cause Nikki is a fucking prick.”

“Because Nikki is a fucking prick...those are her words not mine.....Nikki says he’s sorry.” Lucia told me, I sent a glare her way, shaking my head.

“Oh you want to come over?” My eyes widened when she said that, “Yeah we’ll be home all day.”

“Lucia no! Give me the phone!” I tried grabbing it from her, but she kept her arm out, blocking me from snatching it out of her hands,

“Bye Tommy! See you guys later!” Lucia said, a laugh coming out of her as she hung up the phone. “Nikki and Tommy will be over later.” She said innocently, “Yeah, no shit!” I shouted, ripping off a piece of paper and taking the phone from her.

“I mean, I highly doubt he meant what he said.” Lucia said, following me outside to the patio, “I don’t care if he meant it or not, that’s not the point.” I explained, “Then what is the point?” She curiously asked,

“I don’t know! He just...I don’t know.” I told her while lighting another cigarette, “You do too know.” She said, taking the cigarette away from my lips and putting it out.

I breathed deeply through my nose and exhaled, “He just....he just made me feel special, the way he did everything, he was so..I don’t know...so gentle, but yet he wasn’t at the same time. I can’t explain it.” I told her, a bitter laugh escaping my mouth,

“And then! He wants to fucking tell me I was nothing to him? That I was just added to his body count! And then tells me I should just open up my fucking legs for T-bone too! He doesn’t get to fucking treat me like the skanks he’s used to hooking up with! I know I mean more to him then that!” I shouted, venting my frustrations,

“How do you know that, Van? How are you so sure about that...I know you’re close with him...but we’ve seen it with our own eyes how he treats chicks.” She questioned as I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Because he’s told me things. He’s told me about his mom, and his dad leaving him, and how he gets depressed sometimes, and how he knows he’s an alcoholic, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it....I highly doubt he shares that with the stupid bitches he fucks daily.” I listed the examples, Lucia nodding, her eyes wide as she was taking in what I was telling her.

“So I’m fucking sorry if my feelings are a little hurt.” I finished my tirade while grabbing the cigarette, and re-lighting it.

I rubbed my face, remembering I had to make the most dreaded phone call I would probably make in my whole life. Unfolding the paper, I punched in the numbers, bringing the phone up to my ear, “God, now I’m already pissed off, thanks Lucia.” I told her, making her chuckle.

“Taylor Law Office, how may I direct your call?”

“Uh yeah...can I speak to Julian Baker, if he is available.” I cleared my throat,

“May I ask whose calling?”

“Uh, right...this is Vanity Blackwood-“

“Oh Miss Blackwood! You’re mother was just here speaking with Jack, let me transfer you to Julian, he just got out of a meeting.”

“Great, thanks.”

I listened as the recorder played a repetitive song,

“This is Julian.” I closed my eyes as I heard his voice. Pain and memories rushing through me,

“Hello? This is Julian Baker.”

“Hi, Julian...it’s um...it’s Vanity..” I trailed off. He huffed on the other line,

“Vanity Blackwood, how’ve ya been sweet thing?” His voice was condescending, making my skin crawl as he called me that.

“I’ve been fine...I’m calling cause I need your expertise....I have a friend that’s in trouble.” He laughed, even though I wasn’t in front of him, I could hear that smirk form on his lips.

“Oh? You need me? What can I do for you, what kind of trouble is this...friend in?”

I took a drag of the cigarette, “Do you listen to Motley Crue?” I asked him, “Uh...yeah of course, what does that have to do with anything?”

“The friend is Vince Neil, he’s sitting in jail currently and the lawyer his manager and record label gave him is not doing a good job, and quite frankly, you owe me.” He was quiet.

“I don’t owe you a damn thing, you ruined my life. My career was almost over because of you.” I bit my lip, closing my eyes as he yelled over the phone.

“You put me through hell Julian, literal fucking hell...the least you can do is help my friend.” He laughed menacingly, “Friend? Or boyfriend?” I rolled my eyes, gripping the cigarette so hard between my fingers, it broke in half.

“He’s a friend, if he was my boyfriend it wouldn’t be any of your concern. Are you gonna help or not? I’m handing you a high profile case and you aren’t taking the bait.” He was quiet again, pondering his thoughts probably.

“I need a number or an email to get ahold of whoever is in charge over the band...ready when you are.” I got inside and tried looking for Docs number.

“Alright, His name is Doc McGhee...he’s Mötley Crüe’s manager, he takes care of everything for them, his number is 4248067980, he usually always answers.” I told him, clutching the paper in my hand.

“Okay I’ll give him a call and see what I can do. It was nice talking to you, sweet thing.” He said, as I tried choking down my vomit.

“Thanks, Bye.” I said and quickly hung up. “Fuck!!!” I screamed out, doubling over, putting my hands on my knees as my crying fit finally came.

“What’s going on?” Tonya said, walking in with groceries in her hands. I looked up at her, “Van, what did that asshole say now?” Tonya asked, “It’s not Nikki.” Lucia explained.

I couldn’t control my breathing, it’s like I was choking on air, “Van, Van...relax...calm down.” Tonya said, holding my shoulders, backing me up to the couch. I stared up at her, through blurry teared up eyes, “She talked to Julian.” Lucia whispered, making Tonya turn her head to her, and then to me.

“Why would you do that!!” She yelled, “Vince called from jail, and he needed help..” I paused while I coughed, “Julian is the only lawyer we have that would be willing to help.” I whispered, her eyes full of sorrow.

“And look at how you are right now! What’s it gonna be like when he’s across the room from you!” I looked up at her, “I don’t know.” I said, putting my head in my hands.

“I’m going to lay down.” I told them, standing up off the couch. “Alright, let’s go to the diner later after you get up.” I nodded, it saying anything as I walked up the stairs.

I laid down in bed, pulling the covers over my head. I was physically and emotionally drained after talking to him. I felt numb, nothing felt right.

[anihan-spills]

Girl in the Mirror (Part IV)

VI.    Maria

A large number of people assemble every Sunday to celebrate mass in the Quiapo church. While most celebrate mass to continuously become closer to God, it is obvious that Senator Magglabo is on his third time celebrating mass that year — first when he was running for senator, second when the ballots were being counted, third (that day) being the day he won as a senator.

   Maria knelt quietly, still in deep prayer after taking the holy host in her communion. Most churchgoers were already loud and noisy, talking about their daily gossips.

   Father Arnaiz entered the post and said his closing remarks. “Go in peace! Love and serve the Lord.”

   “Thanks be to God!” all except Maria say, for she was still kneeling and deep in prayer.

   Senator Magglabo turned to his daughter. “Ang saya, hindi ba!? O, senador na ako! Hays, ang biyayang binigay ng Diyos... at sa sambayanan, ako ang biyaya ng Diyos! Maraming taong naghihintay na bumati sa akin sa labas. Mahal, gusto mo bang sumama?”

   Maria turned to her father, smiling politely. “Paumanhin, itay. Maaari po ba akong magdasal pa?”

   Senator Magglabo frowned at this, but accepted it anyway. “Sige. Sa labas lang ako. Oh! Sina Tita Cori at Tita Rani! Ibabati ko na muna sila.”

   Senator Magglabo sat up from his pew and went to Tita Cori and Tita Rani. He soon proceeded into having a small talk with them.

   Maria continued to sit down in prayer.

   “My Father, you are the light of my life, the light of my love, and the love of my life. You have never failed to listen to my pleas. You were always the one I could trust. I long for you as the deer longs for the stream's water. I long for you as to how King David's subjects long for the notes he plays on the harp. I long for you as much as Bathsheba longed for you when she was betrayed by the same king.

   My Lord, I know I am just a woman, but I'm tired. I need your presence. I need you.  Help me try to forgive. Help me try to live. Protect me, my Father. Protect me. Amen.”

   I remember Maria standing up, tears still welling down her face. She walked to her father and soon overheard his conversation with Tita Cori and Tita Rani.

   “Pero alam mo, parang nagbago na si Maria. Maslalo na noong pumasok ka sa pulitika.” Tita Cori remarked.

   “Oo nga, eh. Parang hindi siya kasing sigla noong bata pa siya eh. Naging mas mahinhin pa.” Tita Rani added.

   Maria interjected in the conversation. “Nahihinayang lang po ako, tita. Parang nahahawa na ako sa pagod ng aking tatay. Ngunit, walang dapat pag-abalahin sa akin.”

   Tita Cori, Tita Rani, and Senator Magglabo laugh at this.

   “Alam mo naman ang mga babae: napaka-emosyonal.” the Senator smiled, going behind his daughter.

   The comment made Maria laugh uneasily. She turned to her father and said, “Magpahinga na po kayo, itay. Maraming nangyari kahapon. Senador ka na at dapat masmarami na ang paghinga mo.”

   “Siguro nga. Maraming salamat.”

   The four bade their farewells. Maria and Senator Magglabo walked together on the street on the way back to their house.

   “Anong pinagdasal mo kanina?” her father inquired.

   “Nagdasal ako para sa inyo, at kung gaano akong kagalak maging anak mo.” Maria replied with a smile.

   Senator Magglabo blushed. “Aww…”

Senator Magglabo and Maria were surprised to see four Japanese soldiers inside their home. Senator Magglabo was not scared, however. He was actually very delighted.

   “Mr. Akinari!” Senator Magglabo smiled, extending his arms, “Good to see you! How was Bulacan?”

   “Good to see you, Senator Magglabo. I heard of your victory.” Mr. Akinari nodded to him. He turned to Maria. “Good to see you again, Maria.”

   Akinari held Maria’s hand and kissed it. He turned to Senator Magglabo once more. “Bulacan was great.”

   Maria gulped. “I should probably go to my room.”

   “Wait!” Akinari stopped and turned to the other soldiers, signaling them in.

   The soldiers brought in the mirror and removed the cloth that covered it.

   “This mirror is taken from one of the American bases. Some would say it dates back to the Spanish era. But it's still so beautiful.” He turned to Maria and smiled, “As beautiful as you.”

   Maria gulped once more. She inquired, “Where will you put it?”

   “Inside your room, of course.”

Maria and Akinari watched two Japanese soldiers bring the mirror in before exiting. Akinari moved closer to Maria.

   “I missed you.”

   “I didn’t.”

   Akinari tried to moving closer again but Maria resisted.

   “Not right now, please.”

   Akinari nodded before leaving the room.

   Maria lied on her bed and quietly cried.

   I remember her face when I appeared in front of the mirror. I remembered looking for Eugenie and then seeing her.

   She stared at me a bit, quietly. It was almost scary.

   “Oh wow. I’m surprised. You didn’t scream.”

   Maria gulped. “I’m turning mad now, am I?”

   “Mad?” I frowned, “Oh no, honey. I’m afraid you are.”

   Maria sighed and turned over. “Yes, I am.”

   I smiled at her, trying to radiate comfort. “If it could make you feel any better, I can introduce myself. Hi! I'm Lucia. I'm no ghost. I don't think I'm reflected light either. I'm just… Lucy.”

   She smiled at me as she sat up, “Hello, Lucy. I'm Maria.”

   “Yay!” I grin, “Now we’re friends!”

   It was late that I realized her tears. I frowned and breathed in deeply. “You’re crying. Is there anything bothering you?”

   Maria sobbed and nodded.

   I asked, “What’s wrong?”

   She sobbed once more before looking away and shrugging.

   I deduced. “Was it the man who tried advancing on you.”

   She sobbed in the very same manner as she did before. “My father can’t know what happened two weeks ago. My father can't know that I was raped by Mr. Akinari! What my father did, his election, his position, what he stands for — all of it would just be lies.”

   I frowned before a knock on the door was heard. I disappeared.

   Senator Magglabo entered the door, gleefully. “Akinari is inviting us to a party,” he announced.

   Maria was in sudden shock for a while. She looked at the mirror, and then at her father, and looks at the mirror, then at her father once more. She smiled at him. “Tell him I'll be happy to see him.”

   As he left, she went to the mirror to fix herself.

Akinari and Senator Magglabo laughed and drank on the same table. A Courier entered and gave a document to Akinari, who then passed it to the senator. Magglabo laughed and jokingly elbowed his Japanese friend. The two had a soft conversation, pointing at each other as if offering each other the honor to announce something. In the end, Akinari stood up, making Senator Magglabo applaud.

   Akinari announced with enthusiasm, as he held his glass up high. “I have an announcement to make…”

   Maria climbed downstairs just in time to hear the proclamation. After observing Akinari standing, she turned to a waiter to ask what was happening.

   Akinari continued, “I am to ask Ms. Magglabo’s hand in marriage.”

   Maria’s heart wrenched. She felt everything fall down — as if Atlas had decided to let the heavens go.

   Akinari met eyes with his betrothed. She went up to her, held her hand, and kissed it.

   “No need to worry, my love.” Akinari told her in assurance, “You’ll be in safe hands.”

   Maria stared at Akinari, waiting for him to release her hand. She gave up waiting after a while. The night continued, strings latched all over her numb body.

Maria arrived in her room. She laid down, face flat on the pillow. The nap broke when she heard the door opening, making her jot up.

   Akinari opened the door and smiles at her. Maria started to breathe heavy.

   “What are you doing here in my room?”    “Am I not allowed?”

   “Kind of not.”

   Maria breathed in heavier as Akinari sat beside her.

   “What’s your goal with me, exactly?”

   “You’re just really beautiful — and easy to acquire. Who would want to pass the chance on that? I know I wouldn’t.”

   Hours passed. Akinari awoke, got up, and put on his clothes. Maria stirred, panting heavily, before waking and getting up.

   As soon as Akinari exits, I appear in the mirror.“Hey,” I smile at her, “How was the party?”

   “Tiring.” she told me, “I’m marrying him.”

   I frowned. “Did you consent to it?”

   “When did I ever?”

   I sighed and sat to listen to her.

   “I pray to the Lord every day. I pray that I could have the strength to move on. I pray that I could have the strength to forgive. I pray that I could have the chance to live with my shame.”

   “Being a victim does not put you to shame. Being raped does not make you any less of a person. Raping does. You’re human. You get hurt. You feel lost. You feel abandoned. You feel shamed. You think this is your fault, but it’s not. I believe in you. You can always choose to move on. You can always choose to forgive. But that choice is yours. Even if you do or don’t it still does not make you any less of a person.”

Maria walked through the bustling streets of Manila, carrying a basket of crops with her. She notices the glum, monotone environment despite the vibrant, colorful harvest of produce the summer had to offer. After a moment of brief observance, she bumps upon a woman her age, wearing a shoal around her face. The woman’s fruits fell from her basket. The two knelt down to pick up the fruits. The woman, however, was stopped by people passing by her, “accidentally” kicking and hitting her along their way. Maria notices this, and then the two stand up, the woman is pushed once more.

   “Dahan-dahan lang!” the man shouted violently at the woman.

   The woman stood up and wiped a tear from her face. She quietly walked out of the scene.

   Maria watched the covered woman go before realizing that, in her hand, was a tomato that did not belong to her. She grabbed her basket and called out for the woman.

   Upon nearing, the woman looked worriedly at Maria. Maria approached the woman and was about to give the fruit to her, before being pulled over to an alleyway.

   The woman hushed Maria beneath the darkness the building had constructed for them in the deep corner. “Please be quiet.” the woman pleaded, “I’m not supposed to be outside.”

   Maria frowned and handed over the tomato, which the woman accepted.

   “Where are you taking the foods?” Maria curiously asked.

   “To my friends…” the woman answered, “for us to eat.”

   “Where are you going?”

   The woman hesitated to answer before sighing. Maria noticed tears rushing to fall from the woman’s eyes as the woman shook her head. Maria went over to the woman to hold her.

   “To the fort.” the woman answered.

   Maria knew exactly what fort. The fort that had been the torture place for so many years. In that fort were churches that should have served as a place of protection for its people, but instead were converted as sites of hell.

   “I-Inside?” Maria asked.

   The woman just nodded. “Why did you think people shoved me away?”

   Maria frowned and watched the woman go. She then felt the urge to run up to the woman to hold her. She fed into that urge.

   The woman cried in reply.

   “It’s okay,” Maria said. “I know that feeling.”

   The woman laughed. “Really? Have you ever felt what it’s like seeing your husband tortured and whipped in front of you while you were being defiled? Have you ever felt what it’s like witnessing your father skinned alive, and your brother being stabbed? Have you ever—”

   “No.” Maria pulled away, shaking her head. “But I know what it feels like to be abused. This is not a competition.”

   The woman was silent. She stared at Maria as she continued.

   “I’m sorry this happened to you. But it’s not your fault. Being a victim does not put you to shame. Being tortured like that does not make you any less of a person. Torturing does. You’re human. You get hurt. You feel lost. You feel abandoned. You feel shamed. You think this is your fault, but it’s not. I believe in you. You can always choose to move on. You can always choose to forgive. But that choice is yours. Even if you do or don’t it still doesn’t take away you being a person.”

   The woman snickered. “They all say that. But what do they do? Nothing.”

   Maria looked away before staring at the woman sincerely. “I could help get you out.”

   The two heard Japanese soldiers approaching. They run towards the other corner of the alley.

The two pant as they were able to safely arrive outside the alley, back into plain sight. She smiled at each other as they caught their breaths.

   “My name is Maria.”

   “My name is Asiang.”

   “Alright, Asiang, here’s the plan…”

   And the two conspired to escape — with every detail for every thought-of circumstances. The thought of, not only an escape for themselves but for everyone in that comfort station. It’s the least Maria could do. For, after all, she too wanted to escape like them.

   After the planning, Asiang looked up at Maria and smiled. “Salamat.”

   “Walang ano man.” Maria replied, “Mag-ingat ka.”

The visions came by fast. First I saw Maria carrying a gas lamp as she placidly walked by thick stone walls, sounds of explosions and gunshots all around her. She walked alleyway after alleyway before eventually arriving at a building. She looked through the window and saw Asiang waiting for her alone in her room. Asiang, likewise, noticed Maria and slipped a piece of paper through the two walls that connected her room to the others’ rooms. A loud knock was heard from the door, hurrying Asiang to escape. Maria helped Asiang get down through the window. As soon as Asiang got down, the two slowly back away from the window. They were stopped, however, as they both bumped into a big soldier, holding a bayonet. The two stared in horror.

[kivaember]

(This fic sorta reflects my current state of being l o l honestly, burn out is the worst fucking thing to endure and i am s u f f e r i n g from it so much. So I vented with this, and kinda explored a few of Aymeric’s other relationships.

Also for the fishing bit, Aza and his FC were pretty much doing this)

As always, Aymeric woke up at the crack of dawn.

It was to an empty bed, so he thankfully didn’t have to go through the torturous ordeal of untangling himself from Aza’s arms and slipping out without him waking up (impossible). He did so love his partner, but some days he he just wanted get to work on time without having to rush because Aza decided to imitate a rather clingy, amorous limpet.

The sun was just peeking over the twisting spires of the Holy See when Aymeric emerged from his home, dressed, fed and waiting for his coffee to kick in. His feet took him along the well worn path towards the Congregation of the Knights Most Heavenly (he needed to find a way to shorten that into something that didn’t sound so… cultish), the air almost pleasantly mild. It was ‘summer’ for Ishgard now, and that brought with it weak sunshine, gentle breezes and rain. It boded well for a possible thawing of the permafrost that clung to this land, though he doubted they would be able to reproduce their previous agricultural output for another few years yet.

The foot traffic was light this early in the morning, so Aymeric was utterly alone as he descended the steps from the Pillars to the lower levels of Ishgard. It meant he could break decorum a little and stifle a yawn behind his hand, feeling ragged to the bone. Gods, he always felt so exhausted when Aza wasn’t here. As distracting as his partner could be, he certainly slept easier when they-

-something abruptly jabbed him hard in his kidneys.

“Fuck-” he blurted in utter surprise, his foot slipping on the step and almost sending him on an embarrassing tumble, if not for the strong hand gripping his bicep. His lower back throbbed from the very painful jab he just took, and, face slightly red from embarrassment, regained his footing and turned to see-

“That’s another stabbin’ you coulda hand,” the ‘Mongrel’ smiled at him, all teeth, “C’mon, Lord Commander. I’ve told ya before about this route. Ambush points everywhere.”

Aymeric’s shoulders slumped, and Hilda kindly released his arm to give him a short pat on the shoulder, somehow making the gesture of reaching up not look too ridiculous.

“Lady Ware,” he sighed wearily.

“Hilda. I ain’t a lady.”

“Lady Ware,” Aymeric repeated, just to be contrary and because he got some vindication at watching her wrinkle her nose in disgust at him, “Thank you for scaring another five months off my lifespan. How many deaths is that now?”

“Two hundred an’ fifty somethin’ or other,” Hilda said, and jabbed him in the ribs again before he could move away, “Yer self-awareness is shite. It’s a miracle you ain’t been stabbed again, what with all them lords sharpening their daggers every time your back’s turned.”

“It probably has to do with the fact that you loiter in the dark corners they’d normally try to stab me from,” Aymeric said, his voice dry as dust, “The key to a successful assassination is not to do it with witnesses, you see.”

“Smarmy bastard,” Hilda said fondly, “Still, I can’t loiter in all the dark corners. I got a life outside of looking at your arse all day.”

“Duly noted,” Aymeric sighed, and inclined his head, “Walking the same way?”

“Yup,” Hilda said with a cocksure smile, boldly moving in step with him as they continued their way.

It was a queer friendship, he knew, if it could even be called friendship. It wasn’t a conventional relationship in the slightest, an alliance of necessity to smooth over any snarls and tangled between the Temple Knights and the newly established City Watch. Several knights, and lords, were somewhat disgruntled at these lowborn peasants suddenly having the power to enforce the law. Whilst the City Watch tended mostly to petty crime, freeing the Knights for more high-profile and sensitive cases, it was still a scrap of power long denied to those at the very bottom. Friction was inevitable.

Yet, during the beginning years of their wary and necessary alliance, a strange camaraderie started to form between them. Hilda jokingly said it was because he was now part of the ‘Orphaned Bastards Club’, but Aymeric felt it was more because they both believed the same things… and they really enjoyed thumbing their noses at the stuffier lords sitting pretty in Ishgard’s fledging republic. There were stark differences between them, though. Aymeric’s position was always privileged, member of the Orphaned Bastards Club or not, whilst Hilda scrambled at the bottom of society since birth. Friction there was inevitable too.

But they made it work.

Yes, they were both stubborn and passionate and clashed – often – but Hilda had proven herself to be a valuable ally, instead of the dangerous enemy she could have been. She worked with him to ensure a level balance between the Knights and the City Watch, she was blunt and honest enough not to hold back to correct him on his assumptions on what the lower class needed, and, more importantly, she was loyal to a fault.

He could do without the mock-assassinations whenever he went to and from work though. At this point he had a feeling she was doing it more to mess with him, rather than increasing his chances of surviving another assassination attempt.

“I see Lover boy’s outta town,” Hilda said casually, “What’s he up to this time? Savin’ another damn country?”

“He’s gone fishing with some adventurer friends,” Aymeric said.

The look Hilda gave him was worth the early morning scare, honestly. The disbelief, the slight suspicion that he was pulling her leg, writ across her face was deeply amusing, “Fishin’.”

“Mm, that is what I said,” he said with mock-innocence, “Something the matter?”

“He doesn’t seem like the type to fish,” Hilda said dubiously, “Requires a bit of patience, don’t it?”

“If there’s a promise of food at the end of it, you’ll find him surprisingly patient,” Aymeric said, “Also he fishes with Imperial grenades.”

Hilda let out a sigh that almost eased into a laugh, “’Course he does.”

The rest of the walk to the Congregation was pleasant in Hilda’s company. She told him a little of what the City Watch had been doing, what assistance they could do with, and in turn Aymeric told her about the new bills being proposed regarding a government funding project to properly equip the City Watch. Hilda had taken that last thing with a wry twist to her lips, just as aware as him that that bill would be bounced around in the House of Lords for as long as their constitution allowed.

“Best leave ya here,” Hilda said briskly as they stopped at the Congregation, “When ya see Aza, tell ‘im to swing by the Forgotten Knight sometime. Haven’t had a drink with him in a while.”

“I’ll pass on the message,” Aymeric promised.

Hilda clapped him on the arm, her fingers trailing along his forearm and pressing a crumpled piece of paper – discreetly – into his hand. With a two-fingered salute, the Mongrel prowled off in that confident strut of hers, disappearing into the early morning crowd that had started to stir.

Aymeric closed his fist around the paper slowly and turned away, tucking it casually into his breeches’ pocket. Another perk to his friendship-alliance with the Mongrel was information that would otherwise be denied to a Lord Commander part of the ‘class system’ all the commoners hated. What people wouldn’t admit or say to the knights, they admitted to the City Watch. But, whilst the City Watch’s powers were limited, Aymeric had more clout and influence. It was always a balancing act to work out on what he could action, but it made his life so much easier.

Honestly, it would have been a harder ordeal rooting out corruption, if it weren’t for her.

--

“Sir. Sir.”

“M’awake,” Aymeric mumbled into his desk, not lifting his head even when Lucia sighed somewhere above him.

“Lord Artoirel is here to see you,” she said firmly, “To discuss the Adventurer’s Guild Proposal. Remember?”

Aymeric made a noise better suited to some deep-sea creature being pulled out of a loch somewhere. The fucking Adventurer’s Guild Proposal. The bane of his political existence and the thorn in the House of Lord’s side. The last debate on it had descended into petty stonewalling, where no one had come out smelling pretty.

(Aymeric himself hadn’t come out of that debate well. In a flash of white-hot, temporary madness brought on by sheer frustration at the inefficiency their government was stagnating in, he had ended the ridiculous shouting match by flipping the Speaker’s desk and verbally flaying everyone present. It was the first time he ever heard the House of Lords stunned into terrified silence. It was then that Artoirel had, warily, suggested that perhaps they should all take a break and cool their heads a little while someone replaced the Speaker’s desk.)

“Should I take that as you cancelling the meeting?” Lucia asked him flatly.

“I’ll take it,” Aymeric said wearily, propping himself up and massaging his temples. A low-grade headache was beginning to throb insistently behind his eyes. He was so sick of reading things now. He should have ran away with Aza to throw Imperial grenades into a lake somewhere.

Lucia didn’t move, giving him a long searching look.

“Sir,” she ventured carefully, “When was the last time you took a break?”

Considering Lucia helped to micromanage his stuffed to the gills schedule, she should know exactly when he took a break. Better than he, anyways, where the days just blurred together in some nightmarish ordeal of holding a fledging republic together by his fingertips. Whilst it was more stable than it had been initially, somehow that meant more work bubbling up as people actually became efficient enough to start, well, working. Instead of just focusing on reshuffling their budget and trying to dismantle the Ishgardian war machine, they now had to juggle foreign policy, trade routes, commitments to the Eorzean Alliance, commitments to the Scions, immigration, social reforms, military reforms, economics, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Aymeric just didn’t have enough hands to manage it all.

“You tell me, Lucia,” he said in a rare show of snippiness, “When did I last have a break?”

Lucia straightened up and said, rather coolly, “Three months ago, sir, for half a day.”

Aymeric rubbed at his face and pinched at the bridge of his nose, letting out a very long exhale, “Right.”

“…I think,” Lucia said in a very neutral tone, “That you need a break, sir.”

Aymeric looked at the papers sprawled over his desk for a long moment. What had initially filled him with passionate determination now made him feel an intense dread. He was burnt out, he realised, and stressed to a cracking point, if his embarrassing blow up at the last House of Lords session was anything to go by. “Yes, I think so too.”  

“Conveniently,” Lucia continued, “An invitation from Lord Hien of Doma arrived this morning by Postmoogle. It seems they wish to express their gratitude for the contribution Ishgard made towards their reconstruction efforts. It asks for you explicitly by name.”

It was a testament to how tired Aymeric was that he didn’t immediately make the connection, “This is convenient…?”

“Sir, this is a thinly veiled attempt to curry further favour with Ishgard by inviting you to their city to be spoiled and bribed,” Lucia said bluntly, “While the other City States also made contributions to Doma, the engineers and architects we sent have been integral to rebuilding their city and their destroyed castle. No doubt they will want us to continue loaning such expertise until they no longer need it, and to do that…”

“Ah,” Aymeric said, enlightened, “I see.”

“I already sent an acceptance on your behalf,” Lucia said, proving that she was an angel sent down from Halone Herself. If Aymeric weren’t so exhausted, he probably would have gotten down on his hands and knees and thanked her from the very bottom of his heart, “I’m certain the Warrior of Light will be happy to accompany you.”

That was all well and good, except, “But, who will tend to my duties in the interim?”

“I can handle your Lord Commander duties, sir,” Lucia said, and inclined her head towards the door, “And I am sure Lord Artoirel can handle your Speaker duties, as he is your political second in command. You should start learning to delegate.”

Aymeric processed this for a long moment. Then;

“Lucia,” he said gravely, “Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?”

The faintest curl to Lucia’s lips betrayed her smile.

“Yes, sir,” she said warmly, “You tell me every day.”

---

All things considered, Artoirel handled his sudden burden with good grace.

“You need the break,” Artoirel told him firmly, “I was beginning to worry that you would crash and burn before you started delegating.”

“I wasn’t that bad, was I?” Aymeric asked, although a sinking feeling in his belly told him that, yes, he had acted a bit like a control freak. He couldn’t help it. He had sweated blood and tears to get Ishgard to this point, and he was terrified that it was going to be cocked up by petty greed and ambitions running counter their fledging republic. There were so many things that could be taken advantage of – were being taken advantage of, where corruption could fester and grow if one took their eyes off it for too long, where their government could collapse in on itself like the unstable house of cards it was and erupt into a destabilising and bloody civil war.

Aymeric wanted this to go well. He needed this to go well. Yet… he was also falling into the trap of thinking it’d only go well if he micromanaged every single possible bit of it, which… which wasn’t all that different to how Father had ruled Ishgard. Just like him, he was all but strangling the government by gripping it so hard. The realisation felt like a knife to the gut.

No, wait. A knife to the gut would have been better, actually.

“You… need to delegate a little, yes,” Artoirel said diplomatically, “But no one can deny you have Ishgard’s best interests at heart.”

Aymeric rubbed his forehead, biting back ‘the Archbishop also had Ishgard’s best interests at heart’, because that was going to go down an emotional rabbit hole of father issues that Artoirel didn’t deserve to sit through.

“Right,” he said instead, bottling up that emotional upheaval for later. He planted his hands on the papers on his desk and pushed them forwards towards his soon-to-be-intensely-suffering-replacement, “In which case, I deeply apologise for the hell I am about to put you through.”

Artoirel looked briefly pained, though the expression quickly cleared into one of grim, determination.

“I’ll endure it,” he said.

Really, Aymeric sincerely hoped Artoirel won the next round of elections for the Speaker position. He was, apparently, a far better politician and man than he’d ever be. That was a bitter pill to swallow, surprisingly, but it was mostly relief Aymeric felt.

Lucia was right.

He was burnt out.

---

Lucia kicked him out of his office before it was mid-afternoon.

“Go home,” she told him, and physically blocked him from getting back in his office. After being soundly out-manoeuvred and cowed by Lucia’s stern glare, Aymeric had no choice but to slink back home feeling oddly out of sorts. He had no looming deadline he had to grind towards, no bills or proposals he had to manage, no patrol reports to review or inspections to prepare for or… anything. He felt almost adrift, and he barely remembered the walk back home.

(Hilda would have been scandalised at his lack of self-awareness. He was probably lucky she didn’t chance upon him. She might have drop-kicked him)

He spent his abrupt dearth of free time not preparing for his journey in less than two days’ time – but by lying on his living room floor. It was, actually, a very comfortable floor, and he now saw why Aza lied down on it so much. It was firm, but not uncomfortably hard, and was doing wonders for his aching back. Maybe he should make this a thing. Just spend an hour lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, slowly dumping all the white noise in his brain so he felt semi-human again.

This was the state Aza found him in a few hours later.

“Aym,” his partner said, standing at his head and smelling faintly of damp and mud, “Are you having a moment?”

“Lucia kicked me out of the office,” he informed him, still disbelieving about that. Grateful, but disbelieving, because the last few hours had been blissful, albeit accompanied by the low-grade anxiety of knowing that he wasn’t doing anything productive, “To take a break.”

Aza laughed at that, crouching down. He was smiling, an adorable grin that flashed his sharp canines and made the corners of his eyes crinkle. Aymeric dreamily admired that lovely expression for a long moment.

“I told you that you were working too hard,” Aza chided him gently, “Did you just lie here the whole time?”

“Yes,” Aymeric said shamelessly, “How was fishing?”

“Great. We annoyed a kraken and fought it.”

Aymeric hummed quietly, finding himself smiling a little stupidly at how genuinely pleased Aza looked at that. Only he would find fighting a kraken a good outcome of fishing, “Did you win?”

“Of course!”

Not long after that he had an armful of Aza, stripped naked with his brine-smelling clothes in a pile next to the sofa. The smell of damp and mud still lingered, but Aymeric still inhaled it and found that tight knot squeezing his belly slacken and relax. No matter how stressed he became, he could always count on Aza just… making it right again. True, he brought his own challenges from time to time, but, Gods, they were worth it.

“You have a dopey look on your face,” Aza commented, the pair of them nose to nose, “I bet you’re thinking of something very schmoopy.”

“Mmm…” Aymeric smiled lazily, “I’m thinking about how much I love you.”

“Sap,” Aza muttered, but his cheeks were a little pink and he was smiling, “You always think about that.”

“Not always,” Aymeric said, “Sometimes I think about how beautiful you look. Or how amazing you are. Or how many Chocobos you’re going to adopt when we retire-”

“Fifty,” Aza said instantly.

“More like one hundred,” Aymeric said wryly, “Like you’d stop at fifty.”

“Point.”

“In short,” Aymeric concluded, “I think about plenty of things… but it is mostly about how much I love you.”

“I can see that,” Aza said, giving him an odd smile. For a moment, it looked as if he was going to say something, but then just sighed and closed his eyes, “I love you too, Aym. Even if you are a sappy dork.”

A companionable silence fell on them then. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Aymeric just basked in the warmth of his partner’s body curled against his own, the press of his forehead against his own, the tickle of Aza’s hair against his nose and bottom lip, just… listening to him breathe, feeling him in his arms, here, existing, slowly, Aymeric could feel the lingering tension in his body just…ease away.

Yes, he definitely needed that break. He hadn’t realised how bone-weary and burnt out he was until now. A few weeks longer and he might’ve self-destructed entirely, jeopardising everything he worked for and causing the problems he feared would happen, just from stubbornly micromanaging everything.

Doma would still be work, but it’d be relaxed work. He would have to schmooze and make friends, but he wouldn’t have to also juggle a thousand other things simultaneously. It’d be good for him to just decompress and figure his own life out, before wading back into the thorny battlefield that was Ishgardian politics.

“What’re you thinkin’ ‘bout?” Aza asked him sleepily.

“… work,” Aymeric murmured, kissing the tip of his nose, “You’ll find out later.”

“Hrm,” Aza was content with that, and he watched as his partner slipped off into a dozing slumber. He looked adorable. It was amazing how loving someone so much made even the simple act of sleeping seem like the most sublime thing on the planet. Aza was right, he was such a sappy dork.

For the first time in a while, his worries about Ishgard were… the furthest thing from his mind.