#i improvised because i don't use spotify

[ekke-ekke-ptangya-zooom-boing-ni]

Rules: shuffle your On Repeat playlist and list the first five songs in a poll, then have your followers choose their favorite.

Tagged by @mcrololo

tagging @captainmarvelgoose, @acri-aurora, @aningefulloffeels, @moonshine-aqua and @rudolf-the-red-nosed-reindeer, and anyone else who comes across this post and wants to do it :)

[br-disaster]

Shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

Thank you for tagging me, @jaggededges123 <3

FAERIE SOIRÉE by Melanie Martinez

Tokyo Love Hotel by Rina Sawayama

O trem azul by Lô Borges

Hey big eyes by Caroline Polachek

Taco truck x VB by Lana del Rey

Riverdance by Beyoncé

Salaam by Alka Yagnik, from the movie Umrao Jaan

Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

South London Forever by Florence and the Machine

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, covered by Infinity song

[hood-ex]

Emily hi!! i don't know if you're a musical fan, but i'm pretty sure you're a fan of the outsiders (talking about the book/movie for a second, not the comics), yes? if so, have you checked out the outsiders musical yet? they haven't released a full cast recording yet, but there are a few songs on spotify and youtube. would love to hear your thoughts!

E!! I do indeed love musicals! LOL dude speaking of Outsiders in play format, there's this hilarious blooper my friend found (who I won't @ bc idk if she'd want me to but hey girl hey you know who you are), and it's so freaking funny, I have to give you the link. It's like a high school play where the bed Johnny's lying in won't work properly, and the actor playing Dally improvised such a good line toward the end of the scene based on it 😭. Plus there's this dude in the audience just guffawing in the background and it kills me 😭.

But anyway back to the musical which I didn't even know was a thing?? Holy hell I'm about to go back into my Outsiders obsession hardcore because of this. E, I love you for bringing this to my attention. I'm watching the video for the song Stay Gold, and I'm freaking out bc the actors are sitting on the DX gas station pumps!! Like the gas station pumps from the movie!! Ahhh!! The Outsiders made me have a weird thing for gas station signs LOL like there's this one sign in my city at a gas station that I always want to take home when I see it bc it gives me Outsiders vibes.

The DX stations, dude, the DX stations!! I'm way too jazzed about that one little detail lmao. OH AND THE TRAINS, THEY'RE WALKING ON THE TRACKS. Screaming, crying, throwing up. WAIT AND THE DRIVE IN MOVIE THEATER I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.

"Little brother, sorry I failed you, I could not save you, no I can't even save myself." 😭 Oh hell yeah this has got soul.

OH THE CURTIS HOUSE!! It's in the Tulsa 1967 video! With the street signs "The Outsiders Way" and "Curtis Brothers Lane" 😭. Cry cry cry cry. Soda and Pony's bed!!! Their bed!! Makes me remember, "You cold, Pony?" so well. This is so fun and so nostalgic.

They better have a song right before the rumble!! I will literally shit like god pleeeease give us a banger right before the rumble. They have to!! They. Have. To!!

No but hmmm I think "Little Brother" might be my favorite so far. Tulsa 1967 is good as well. Wbu? What are your thoughts on it 👀?

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 5: Hope This One's Interesting Par 1: Riley

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump

Riley had never seen Director Coleman look this angry before. She was gripping the armrests of her wheelchair so tight it looked like she was about to launch herself forward to strangle them. Her face was red, the veins in her forehead bulged, and Riley was sure that everyone on the building's main floor could hear her yelling at them.

"So why, Agent Bishop, did you not think to tell me any of this?"

"I, um—"

"Or at least warn me that you were bringing a demon in on the investigation?"

"I didn't want to give Bell time to—"

"Do you have any idea the sheer amount of paperwork I will have to do to explain how a routine interview turned into a demonic incident? Involving multiple demons?"

"I didn't think it would turn out like this!" Riley pleaded desperately.

Coleman paused and took a few deep breaths. "You... improvised. You used an unorthodox method to aid in the investigation and that's fine, usually, but for god's sake keep me informed about stuff like this!"

"Yes, Sir," Riley said, looking down.

"At least everything turned out okay."

Their head snapped up to face the director. "What? But someone lost her soul!"

"Clara Bolton made a choice. One that saved her life when I don't know what else could have. She chose her life over her soul, and we can't judge her for that or ignore that she made that choice of her own free will. So take the win, Riley."

"Yes, Sir."

"Besides, whenever demons are involved I consider it a win when all of my agents come back alive. Also, you're suspended for a month."

"That seems about right."

"Now, I can't stop you from keeping in contact with this demon, no matter how much I wish I could. But if you want to bring them in on any more missions or investigations once you get back you will inform me first. Understood?"

"Understood, Sir. But trust me, I don't think I'll be contacting them again."

"Good. Now go home, Bishop. I'll see you in four weeks."

Riley left Coleman's office. Just as they reached the elevator Sil grabbed their shoulder to stop them. It was a bit of an awkward angle because of how tall Riley was, but she managed to turn them around to face her.

"Look," Riley started. "I know I should have told you, and a part of me wanted to, but it all just seemed too crazy. I'm sorry."

"I would have done the same."

Riley's train of thought went off a cliff. "You what?"

"I would have done the same. I mean, I also would've told Coleman what I was doing, but you were trying to turn a threat into an asset. It was dangerous, and stupid to try alone, and not the job of a researcher at all, but I get it. I just thought you should know that."

"Thanks. That really means a lot."

"But seriously don't talk to that demon again, it's not worth it. When you yelled at them earlier I almost had a heart attack."

"I won't. And if they try to contact me I'll call you right away."

"Good. Sounds like a plan. Take care of yourself, Riley." Sil squeezed their shoulder and smiled.

"I will."

Riley left and started walking toward the subway station. As they walked they opened up Spotify and saw that several of their playlists had a new like. And they had a new follower. Someone with the username Aureum and a profile picture of a gold coin.

Well, whatever else the demon was, they had good taste in music. Riley checked out Avi's profile out of a stubborn curiosity in the back of their mind--a part of them couldn't help but still see Avi as a possible font of information. Avi had no playlists of their own, and only followed one other person besides Riley. Their username was CosmicCat and their profile picture was the night sky. They had over fifty playlists--more than twice what Riley had--all of them dedicated to podcasts and tv shows and books, many of which Riley didn't recognize. They had other followers, and followed other people, they seemed like an actual human being who really loved music.

Avi's words from the day they met came back to Riley. "I only really have one friend at the moment." This must be that friend. Riley was insanely curious now, this appeared to be a normal person who was friends with a demon of avarice. They wanted to know how and why.

Riley glanced up at the time and cursed. They had to hurry or they would end up walking home in the dark. They followed CosmicCat and made a mental note to check them out later.

......

When Riley was twelve they came across a word they didn't recognize in one of their grandmother's old spellbooks. She let them read the magical tomes as long as they kept their promise to not attempt to perform any kind of magic unless she was with them.

They went up to where their grandmother was making dinner and tugged on her shirt.

"What is it?"

"What's a warlock?"

Riley's grandmother froze for a moment then turned off the stove and put down her wooden spoon. "Let's sit down at the table to talk about this."

Riley was nervous. They were worried they'd somehow messed up by asking that question, and as they sat down at the kitchen table they fidgeted and fiddled with the hem of their shirt.

"You're not in trouble, sweetie, this is just a serious topic, okay?"

Riley looked up at her. "Okay."

"A warlock is a mage that doesn't get their power from runes, or from genetics."

"Where do they get it from?"

Riley's grandmother paused. "Have you read about the different planes of existence?"

"Yes." Riley nodded enthusiastically.

"And you know what the psychic plane is?"

"It's where all our feelings go when we feel them."

Riley's grandmother smiled. "That's right, sweetie. And sometimes we can feel certain emotions so strongly that it creates a living creature in the psychic plane."

"Like a person?"

"Not exactly. Depending on what feeling created it, it can be either an angel or a demon. These creatures live in the psychic plane feeding off of the impressions left by people's emotions until someone summons them to this plane. A person who wants something enough can perform a summoning ritual that will find the angel or demon that can best grant their wish and bring that spirit here. Then, the person can sell the creature their soul in exchange for what they want. That's how warlocks get their power, through deals. Usually with demons."

"What do the angels and demons do with the souls they buy?"

"When the person who makes the deal dies the angel or demon takes the soul and eats it."

Riley's face was a perfect mask of surprise. "But I thought angels were good, not evil!"

"It's not that simple, it's... hmm..." Riley's grandmother thought for a moment. Then she left the room and returned carrying a fluffy gray cat with one eye. She deposited the cat in Riley's lap and they wrapped their arms around it despite it's distressed meows.

"Is Florence evil for eating mice and bugs?"

"No!" Riley insisted and snuggled the annoyed cat tighter until it slipped out of their grasp and ran off. "That's what cats are supposed to do!"

"Well, angels and demons are supposed to eat souls, you can't call them evil for that, only very very dangerous. Probably the most dangerous creatures in existence. Because they aren't good or evil, they can't be, because they aren't human. They're predators. And they don't act like humans. Do you understand?"

Riley nodded. "Yes. Don't worry, I'll never ever ever make a deal with a demon or an angel."

Riley's grandmother smiled. "Good. Now, I had better get back to dinner. And you had better make sure Florence doesn't scratch up my books." Riley nodded and ran off back to the living room.

Sixteen years later, on the subway ride home, Riley wondered what their grandmother would think of Avi.

......

There weren't a lot of ways to find out information on someone from just a Spotify account. Riley looked up the username CosmicCat on every social media platform they could think of, and found nothing that seemed related to the demon. The only possible lead was an abandoned Twitter account full of mostly quotes and song lyrics. At least that Twitter account let Riley know that CosmicCat used she/her pronouns.

If Riley were still at work they could maybe justify using the Bureau's resources to track her down, but they weren't at work. And anyways, doing so would be messy in terms of paperwork as well as ethics.

For now, all Riley could do was think. And they certainly had more than enough time for that

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

i'm super curious to know what the planning/writing process is like? are you more of a sit down and write whatever flows, or plot each chapter to a tea. how do you get inspo, and flesh out your scenes? you're so, so talented, and the stories you write have so much depth and soul. so don't mind me, just trying to dig in. <3

Thank you sooo much, anon!!

Honestly, this one's a very mixed bag - I definitely make sure I know what points I want to hit in the story, and there's always a lot of individual scenes swirling around that I want to place somewhere, but a lot of my writing is pretty improvisational. The only fic I've written a proper bullet-pointed plan for is my SAS: Rogue Heroes fic, but that was because I knew going in which parts of the show I wanted to cover and what the additional parts I wanted to add would be, so it was more a way of figuring out how to order everything so that the story makes sense.

With my MoTA and BoB fics, I know which episodes are going to be covered in each story, and that gives me a timeline to work with so I can fill in the gaps as I go along. This is where I usually bring in the random ideas I've had floating around, and I can tweak them to fit wherever I want to put them in the story. My Pacific fic was definitely the hardest to set out, since it all takes place pre- and post-canon, but most of my stories are set during the show, so there's usually a framework to help guide me where I'm going.

My 'planning' documents are pretty much just loads of random scenes/pieces of dialogue that I'm holding onto so that I don't forget to use them - a large chunk of my process is just making stuff up as I get there 😂 but I am always looking for stuff I can draw out to run through the story so that it feels more coherent

In terms of inspiration, I get it from literally anything I swear. I listen to music whenever I'm writing, and that can honestly be a huge help when I'm trying to pin down a tone/dynamic/theme etc. I also have absolutely huge pinterest boards for my OCs that I'm constantly adding to and I consult them a lot when I'm writing - I never sit down to write anything without having spotify and pinterest tabs open in the background

To summarise: being a writer with adhd is wildly unpredictable and 99% just blacking out and word-vomiting??

[inkofamethyst]

December 13, 2023

New financial plan! I'm going to start 2024 off by sticking ~15% into savings (most generalized, some goal-based) and investing 10% of my stipend each month into my down payment account (up from 5% and 1.5%, respectively). I've done the math based on my spending this first semester, and it checks out. Plan to meet with my (my dad's lol) financial advisor(?) over break and I'll see what they say.

I do think my Spotify Wrapped under-reported the amount of time I spent on vgm, especially in the last couple of months, as I've been using youtube "relaxing walk across..." and various themed music compilation videos recently while working (recently started on The Witcher 3 versions (after watching the skyrim one six or seven times hehe) which are new and fun!).

I think the way that my desire to take up and become good at dancing being at consistently odds with my stiff nature followed by shying away from it is reflective of something fundamental about me: I want to be more spontaneous than I am. Or maybe I want to be more comfortable when it comes to going with the flow. My whole life feels like one choreographed and blocked show with me moving stiffly between the defined beats. I want to add soul to it, to be better at life's "partner work" and improvisation. Detour off the path a bit and find my way back after having some fun. But I keep not being able to do it because I'm scared. Of what? Good question. Not in the mood to think too deep right now tbh. Maybe later.

I watched Skeppy's video about Techno. It was very sweet. I don't know why Techno's loss continues to hit me so hard. I had only watched his stuff for a few months, I don't even think I was officially subscribed. Maybe it's because he was my age. Maybe it's because he was so clever. Maybe I hate being reminded of how unfair life is. It's sad and scary and even a little anger-inducing.

I also watched hbomberguy's video on plagiarism and it was really good. Worth every second.

Today I'm thankful that there was an osteologist in the room with me while I took my measurements on human remains. I've handled countless animal remains and casts of human and fossil bones. But there was something a very eerie about handling the human remains. I remember telling students every term to treat all remains whether real or casts with respect, and I handle everything with so much respect. But it was still weird. So I'm thankful I wasn't alone (the experience was very different, and perhaps rightfully so, from when I was working with the non-human primates last week).

[edit: oh ya i also took my anatomy exam and i will not know peace until i get my final grade back]

[returnsandreturns]

the teen room flooded on christmas eve because a sprinkler broke which means we're kind of salvaging what we have (my n64 lived, the switch didn't) and our IT person was testing the sound on our giant tv and used my spotify account because i keep it logged in on it. she just clicked the first thing that popped up which means that me and her and two repair guys got to listen to a couple of minutes right in the middle of an episode of off book: the improvised musical podcast.

also, i just canceled teen programs until it's fixed because we don't really have anywhere else to put them and i really hope they come back.

[vagueandominousvibes]

📚 for the music ask game?

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on

Oh boy, ok, let me just—

There are so many amazing songs with fantastic lyrics and meaning, full of allusion and meaning and symbolism — 'Achilles Come Down' by Gang of Youths comes to mind, as does 'Spanish Train' by Chris de Burgh (and, frankly, his entire 'Moonfleet & Other Stories' album), 'Telegraph Road' by Dire Straits, 'Suzanne' by Leonard Cohen, 'All Is Found' by Kacey Musgraves ...

But the one I want to tell you about is 'Byssan Lull' (trans.: 'Galley of Riches'), a Swedish lullaby written by Evert Taube. I don't know a whole lot about music theory, so all I can say about it will be based on text and convention. The translation I'm using is this one, because although I understand most of it, I'm not proficient enough in Swedish to trust my own translation of it. If you want to listen to it, my first recommendation would be to get my dad to sing it (he's a bass singer in the local choir, and his rendition is absolutely gorgeous). My second recommendation is Helene Bøksle's cover, which I can't find on YouTube, but know is on Spotify.

'Byssan Lull' has a repetitive structure, where each verse starts with the line 'Byssan lull, koka kittelen full' (trans.: 'Byssan lull -- boil the full kettle'), and is then followed by a list of three. The first verse lists three wanderers, the second lists three winds, the third lists three sailing ships, the fourth lists three figures on a treasure chest, and the fifth lists three religious figures (which, interestingly, was changed in the version I grew up with, and is something I'll come back). From what I understand, the melody is based on the Swedish fiskeskärsmelodin, which is a folk melody associated with lullabies about fishing, rowing, sailing, etc. Taube is to have heard his mother sing this particular melody, and claims to have improvised the song on a summer evening at Skagen. We know that the song was dedicated to a partner Taube had, and that Skagen was where he met the mother of his daughter. 'Byssan Lull' was first published in 1919 alongside seven sjömansvisor (trans.: sailor songs, sea shanties).

I'm neither a sailor nor Swedish, so my brief analysis here may be lacking.

What I love about this song, however, is that it focuses on the seemingly small and forgotten things. First come the three wanderers, of which one is limping, one is blind, and one is implied to be mute. Do they travel individually or in a group? Is there anyone with them? We don't know. All we know is that they seem small, quiet, and far away.

Second come the three winds. One blows on 'the great ocean', one on 'little Skagerrak', and one 'far up on the gulf of Bothnia'. The winds blowing on the great ocean are grand and terrific, known primarily to sailors, and the image of a ship caught in towering waves is a dismal one indeed. Skagerrak is denoted as 'little', and 'the gulf of Bothnia' (Swedish: 'Bottniska viken') is the northernmost part of the Gulf of Bothnia, which in turn is the northernmost part of the Baltic Sea (between Sweden, Finland, and the Baltics). It's remote, removed, and liminal.

Third come the sailing ships. The first one, a barque, is a ship with three or more masts. The second one, a brig, has two masts. The third one 'has ragged sails'. This time the visual grandeur of the ships shrinks and fades into something worn and weary.

Fourth are the figures on the chest: our faith, our hope, red love. After all the melancholic images of the small, the lost, and the weary, this verse shows a turning point. Firstly, the language changes. It's no longer listing one, two, three people, natural phenomenons, or objects, but talks about 'our' faith and 'our' hope. Sure, there's definitely something Christian going on here (which is emphasised in the fifth verse), but there's also something infinitely warming in the way the language goes from external and excluding, to internal and including. Where the first three verses compared and contrasted, this fourth one brings everyone and everything together in 'red love'.

Fifth and final are the religious figures, introduced as 'three good things'. These are God, the Son, and the Virign Mary. What I find interesting about this is that, whereas Taube could have used the Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), he chose to focus on the actual family instead — the father, the son, and the mother. He even emphasises Mary by ending the verse and the song on her name, and I wonder if that is his way of paying tribute to his own mother, the partner he dedicated the song to, and the mother of his child. Aside from this, the focus on the family also works to bring the lullaby back to the idealised love of the nuclear family, once more placing the internal and including over the external and excluding.

The version of this I heard growing up, however, changed the fifth verse out with the following (first line preserved in Swedish, the rest transcribed in Norwegian):

Byssan lull, koka kittelen full, Der skinner tre stjerner på himmelen. Den ene er så blank, Den andre o så fin, Den tredje er månen den gule.

Lyrical translation:

Byssan lull, boil the kettle full, Three stars are aglow in the heavens. The first one is so bright, The second oh so fine, The third one is the moon so golden.

I don't know why it was changed. If dad heard it from his mother, I wouldn't be surprised if she fiddled with it — she was known for fiddling with lyrics and concocting new text to go with old melodies. I don't know that she was overtly religious, either, but I do know granddad did agricultural application of science in uni, so maybe there was a mutual appreciation for early astrophysics?

Who knows. The point I want to make about this is that 'Byssan Lull' is a gorgeous melancholic lullaby that, at least in my family, has survived through generations and been changed to reflect our culture. This, I think, is the nature of lullabies. Because we sing them to our children, and our children in turn sing them to their children, lullabies carry that inter-generational love and affection that, in some instances, is worn down by trauma and miscommunication. They remind us that we come from somewhere, but we can also change them to suit our individual situations. Even if the entire text is rewritten, the melody remains, and isn't that something beautiful to remember?

[annabethcheese]

The warmth of the blanket was beginning to relax me, I had my head resting on his chest, listening to his soft breathing and the rain falling outside.

All my life, that's what I've wanted most. A place to call home. However, I never thought I could call someone home. His arms around me, the rhythm of his heart resonating in my ear, the heat of his body warming mine... all of it brought me the kind of comfort that only a home would have.

I confess that before I admitted my feelings for Percy and finally stayed with him, I thought I would never have such a gift. I was glad I was wrong this time.

I began to look around, we were in New York, in his old room. The familiar posters hanging on the wall caught my eye as I scanned the room. The desk was filled with a mess of materials that we used to study.

The laptop is open, connected to the speaker, playing playlists on Spotify.

I used my winter break time to come and help him study for the entrance exams. Percy was showing his dedication and we were more than close to a future in New Rome, we would be going to university after the new year.

I sighed, happy with the idea.

It was the perfect setting.

Percy had fallen asleep hugging me.

I buried my head in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath and flooding myself with his fragrance again. He smelled like a summer day, I don't know if that made sense, but it did to me. That's how I characterized his essence, something like the smell of the sea on a morning at the beach.

I've never been so safe, so peaceful, so involved as I was at that moment.

I finally had found my home. It wasn't something I designed, like I imagined in the past. It was something that sheltered me when I entered, allowing me to make my home there forever.

I sighed, overwhelmed by the idea.

The familiar notes of our favorite album started to play, and I immediately knew what the theme was.

Evermore.

Percy and I listened to this album on rainy nights and, oddly enough, that was the case today. A wave of joy hit my body. I remember asking the gods for something like this, safe, solid and comfortable.

I couldn't be more pleased than I am now.

I smiled, still with my eyes closed, my face buried in his neck. Percy shifted a little, unconsciously adjusting himself on the bed.

I placed a small kiss where I was leaning and heard a contented sigh. I don't know if I had woken him, but I couldn't resist. I was brimming with love.

His arms moved a little, holding me tighter. I heard his husky voice say:

"I could have sworn I was dreaming about you kissing my neck right now."

I let out a smothered laugh.

"What was the context of the dream?"

Percy sighed again.

"We were doing what we did before we went to sleep. I think that's a good explanation."

I lifted my head to look up at his face. Percy had his eyes open, but they were sleepy.

"So was it a good dream?"

His smile, that smile that made me lose my mind completely, appeared on his face.

Gods how handsome he was.

“Every dream about you is a good one, Wise Girl.”

I leaned in to kiss him. I placed a brief peck on his lips.

"Even the dreams we're discussing?"

He frowned.

“And why the hell would I argue with you in a dream?”

I shrugged.

"I don't know, perhaps because in a dream you would win the argument?"

He laughed and hugged me, his strong arms going around my back, pulling me close. I felt his lips against mine again and I closed my eyes, hugging his neck.

The kiss was soft, romantic, but Percy made me lose control completely with just that kind of touch.

The movement of his mouth synchronized with mine, the caresses as soft as the intensity of the moment.

It was a perfectly choreographed, improvised dance. The harmony between us was spontaneous, even when the moment was tender.

We let go of the kiss and looked at each other.

"I'll never beat you in an argument, it's like you don't know that."

"I'm glad you know." I said, laughing and then placing my head on his chest again.

Percy hugged me and sighed softly, I assumed he had closed his eyes since he still looked tired.

"Is it 'Willow'?" He asked about the song.

"Yes! The album started playing on shuffle."

"Right while it's raining? It's a happy coincidence."

"Yea."

We stayed in silence for a while, enjoying the last chords of the song. I was almost convinced that Percy had fallen asleep when I heard his voice:

"I'm the luckiest man in the world to share moments like this with you."

I felt my heart overflow with that sentence.

I lifted my head enough to kiss his cheek and then laid it back down on his chest.

“I make your words my own.”

It was a succinct way of summarizing what I felt about having Percy by my side, "luck" wouldn't be the right word to use, it was too simple.

We went back to listening to the album in silence.

I don't know who fell asleep first, but I enjoyed every second of that night by his side, while Taylor Swift lulled us into happy dreams.

I'm going to say facts and I'm going to say it just once: Percy and Annabeth listen to Evermore together every night until they fall asleep.

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[zenzaaaaaaaaaaaa]

So I was just wondering are there any songs or styles of music you took inspiration from in particular when you wrote the songs from no grave (hold my body)? I love the styles of the songs a lot! I was thinking of trying my hand at writing some of my own but I don't have nearly the skill you do yours are all amazing!

The honest truth is, I have no idea how you’re supposed to write music. I only know how to read sheet music in the context of choir, and I’ve lost most of that ability. I never really learned any instruments when I was young, and I started playing ukulele by the grace of having one and looking online for how to play specific songs I liked. I have no idea how I’m technically supposed to strum a ukulele without a pick, and I have no idea if my hand shapes for some notes are way off base. I live in fear of Ab. I fear what an actual professional would think of me.

I do know how to operate on vibes, and I am somewhat skilled with adopting a vibe or a kind-of-sort-of plot for the song and improvising lyrics on the fly from sometimes just a specific phrase or nothing at all. For the nghmb songs in particular, I put more effort in and usually write down lyrics more methodically, although the lines that started as improv ones tend to have better rhythm and alliteration to them. What Remains is one that has almost all of its lines courtesy of writing them down beforehand, while What The Water Said had a lot of it made by improv and then written down and refined.

I am mostly unaware of any specific influences on my playing style or otherwise. I mostly just play some notes keeping the vibe in mind until I think it’s right and then do lyrics from there, which means that I’m mostly going by ear and don’t know exactly what music is influencing my choices in notes. It does tend to be the music I like, though. I tend to try and stay away from just playing the four notes of pop music (Am, F, C, G). I like to try and keep some of the sounds of The Oh Hellos, Florence + The Machine and Hozier in mind, because they tend to sound either like they love someone with their whole being or like they’re about to go batshit insane in the middle of a glade at midnight. I also like a very specific genre of music with the sort of plodding beat that I cannot describe as anything other than the feeling of watching someone crawl out of their grave and begin slowly, painfully walking back one step at a time back to the battlefront. Examples of that are Far From Home (The Raven), Seven Devils, Lion, Ain’t No Grave, Work Song, So Far, Mr. Rattlebone, and Flesh and Bone. I’m also a fan of those songs that start off somewhat quietly and normally and then eat your ears with many instruments played very loudly and very beautifully. Examples of that are Pale White Horse, Who Are You Really, Cherry Tree, Soldier, Cliffy, Send The Rain (To Everyone), and Caesar. Honestly, just raid my Spotify playlist. It’s a fun little exercise to try and puzzle out which ones I chose for the vibes, which ones I chose for the lyrics, and which ones I chose for both.

I am completely unqualified to give advice, but I’m already three paragraphs deep, so why not. I cannot stress how important knowing the vibe is, but that’s mostly just because I don’t know any way to consume or produce music that isn’t vibe based with a side of lyrical importance. Notes have different feelings, and some of them just feel Bad together. I only know how to do ukulele, and most of the things that I make that feel sad almost ignore the top string entirely. If I want to make something a little fun and rebellious and more angry than sad, then I want to use the top string a lot. Am, D, F, Dm, and E7 all tend to work together nicely, and they work well when played nice and fast. C, Em, G, D, that one note where you play an F but ignore the top string, and C7 also tend to work together nicely, and they work well when played slowly. B is weird most of the time and kinda hard to transition to so I have no idea what it works with.

It’s vibes all the way down, buddy. It’s just playing until the vibes are right, and then singing until the lyrics are right, and being willing to try some weird shit in the middle to work out what does and doesn’t work. I have no idea if this helped or even answered your original question, but I sure did write a lot.

[theindietrumpeter]

Online and Recorded Auditions

Live auditions are one thing, online are a whole other kettle of fish... Worrying about travel and getting to the right place on time are replaced by worries about whether your internet connection is going to hold up, where your laptop charging cable is and whether your printer is working.

I've had the opportunity to take part in a couple of online auditions - both for cruise work. One of them was a follow up of a live audition and the other was the second part of a 2-stage process (recorded audition with prepared material and a sight-reading audition).

The pre-recorded section of the audition was straightforward - all I had to do was record myself playing the music they emailed to me with the backing track. Some of the music was notated, some was a chord chart to improvise a solo to give them a feel of what my playing was like over a few styles and roles (lead trumpet/second trumpet). The video could be filmed on my phone and it could be recorded in sections (i.e. each piece separately) and edited together. This may seem like effort however it means you don't end up ruining the entire thing for the sake of one or two notes - you can just rerecord that one piece. Once this was completed all I had to do was upload it as an unlisted video on YouTube and send them the link.

The online section of the audition - and this was the same for both - is also fairly straight forward if you are organised and prepared. For each audition I was given an audition time - obviously - and half an hour prior to the audition I was emailed the required music. The next job is to print the music, making sure it's all there, and then you have a bit of time to look through and tackle some bits of it before logging on to Zoom/Skype/whatever 5 minutes before the official time (this is not me being super organised, this was an audition requirement). It worked out at roughly 20 minutes practice time between receiving the music and the audition which is roughly 2 to 3 minutes on or one run through each piece. This may seem like not a lot - and you would be right in thinking that - however, if you are working on a ship you would only have one run through the pieces in a rehearsal with the cabaret act before the evening's performance so sight reading needs to be of a very high standard. When it was time for the audition I was let into the Zoom/Skype call and it was a case of 'Hi, nice to meet you, please play ~xyz piece~ ... thank you, now play ~abc piece~' until all of the required pieces had been performed. This was followed by a 'thank you for your time, we will be in touch to let you know how you got on' and that was it, audition over.

In my experience, it feels quite clinical, quite impersonal, but it's worth remembering that the folks running the auditions may have any number of candidates to get through in a day and it's nothing personal against you - they've just got a job to do.

My advice, should you have an online audition, is to make sure your printer is working and has plenty of ink, your internet connection is stable (perhaps use an ethernet cable instead of WiFi), and that your speakers, camera and microphone are set up properly well before your audition time. In terms of practicing sight reading, there are plenty of horn transcriptions (or bass or drums or piano etc.) out there on the internet so just download some, put the song on YouTube or Spotify or Apple Music or whatever system you use and just play along. Like anything, the more you do it, the better and more confident you get.

For the pre-records, make sure you've got good lighting and you're stood a good distance away from your phone's microphone to get the best sound you can. They're not looking for Howard Shore-esque videography but it's no good playing everything perfectly if they can't see or (most importantly) hear you because you're too far away or too close so it distorts or you're drowned out by the backing track. I suppose these are also valid points for your Skype/Zoom audition so bear them in mind for that too.

Best of luck if you are offered or are looking for auditions for cruise work or circus work or whatever!