#i imagine that poachers are very rare in this universe because I Said So but still an issue

[abbacchiosbelt]

merman jonathan HCs while it's still mermay 🧜🏻‍♂️💙

As one might expect given his human form, mer Jonathan is MASSIVE. He's incredibly intimidating - only those who are brave enough to approach him realize he's a gentle giant. Jonathan still enjoys roughhousing, but he's aware of his size and holds back. Just don't hurt the people he loves... that's when his true strength is revealed. His massive size isn't just there for show.

He doesn't often hunt by himself because he sucks at it, plain and simple. He's big, loud, and clumsy.

Jonathan collects the treasures that fall to the seafloor (much like a red-haired mermaid in another franchise) and gifts his friends the most beautiful treasures he finds.

Incredibly shy about showing himself to humans - in part because he really is just that shy and also because he's afraid any attention might draw poachers to the area.

[ask-sincerely-sea]

A rundown of the Mermaid AU

Here’s a bullet list of my Mermaid AU and most of the content I have imagined for it! These are taken from three different posts on my main blog, but for simplicity, I compiled them all here! It is long, but feel free to read and get a feel for this universe!

All the Murphys are sharks, but they’re all different types of sharks.

Science doesn’t exist in my world so don’t expect genetics and aquatic ancestry to be something that is strict. Most families tend to stay within the same family and/or genus.

Connor is a Shortfin Mako Shark.

Zoe is a Blue Shark (Fun fact: Blue Sharks are a species of Requiem Sharks).

Cynthia is a Whale Shark.

Larry is an Oceanic Whitetip Shark.

Evan and Heidi are both octopus.

Evan is a Coconut Octopus.

Heidi is a Mimic Octopus.

Alana is a Pacific White Sided Dolphin.

Jared is a White Spotted Pufferfish.

Although intelligent like humans, mermaids will exhibit behaviors akin to their aquatic ancestry.

Evan being a Coconut Octopus will hide within ocean debris as a form of camouflage. This is often triggered by spikes in anxiety, but he also uses it to avoid interaction.

Jared absolutely puffs up. It’s usually caused by elevated emotion. Sometimes he’ll puff up because he’s upset, other times he’ll accidentally cause himself to puff up just from laughing too hard.

The Murphy family is a family a predators. They all have an acute and accurate sense of smell. Larry, Connor, and Zoe are active hunters, and when they are in hunting mode it’s hard to break them out of it until they are satiated.

Merpeople do form societies and interact with each other. They don’t hunt each other and unlike their aquatic ancestors, they don’t all follow migration paths. Some merfamilies will migrate.

Now I’ll give you all the cute and fun and interesting stuff…

Connor loves to explore any wreckage he can find. He’s super fascinated by human life and loves finding shipwrecks, plane wrecks, and even leftover skeletons.

He frequents the wrecks of military vessels most often and collects dog tags from fallen soldiers. He refurbishes them as much as he can because he likes to see the names of the men and women lost.

He often spies on humans who are boating as well. Be it a wedding boat, fishermen, or just vacationers, he just loves watching them from afar. However, the moment they spot him (usually only his dorsal fin on his tail), he dives away

.Hes accidentally becomes and ocean cryptid when a group of divers got a photo of him, albeit it fuzzy/blurry.

He’s obviously not aware of human cryptid culture.

Redditors think his viral photo is photoshopped.

Zoe isn’t as curious about humans. She is curious of the sky above and loves to watch birds as they fly around and feed on fish.

She goes stargazing a lot against her parents wishes. It’s dangerous at night and her parents (and most merpeople) fear poachers.

Zoe collects starfish on her tailfins. Since they are living creatures, she always communicates with them and makes sure they are okay with it.

Connor will leave jewelry and funky human artifacts he finds in Zoe’s room. She doesn’t know Connor is the one that leaves her random items and just assumes it’s Cynthia.

Cynthia is fascinated with human artifacts and frequents a lot of merpeople who are traders for human trinkets.

However, she is terrified of humans and doesn’t dare go near them. When she was younger, she got tangled up I’m a fishing net that belonged to poachers.

Larry is also fascinated with human trinkets, but not as much as Cynthia. Being an Oceanic Whitetip, he loves the tale of the USS Indianapolis.

He and Connor used to search shipwrecks together, but they’ve since grown apart and haven’t hunted or scavenged together in a long time.

I already said a bit of this in my last post, but being a Coconut Octopus, Evan uses physical objects to hide in and behind as a form of camouflage.

Though camouflage isn’t really necessary for merpeople being that they are able to fend for themselves and create/use tools, weapons, utensils, etcetera.

Evan’s camo is more of a reflex with his anxiety. If he’s nervous, anxious, or embarrassed, he’ll find the nearest Evan-sized object and fold himself up to fit. His tentacles can fold together tightly, he just has to account for his upper body not being as flexible.

Heidi is a Mimic Octopus as uses her camo as more of a fun party tricks. Mimic Octopus are able to disguise with many backgrounds, but are also able to contort and arrange their tentacles to resemble other species.

When Evan was little, they would travel to shallow banks along islands where the sun shone through the water really brightly. She’d contort her tentacles and do little shadow puppets of other species for him on the sand.

So, Jared is a pufferfish and not a porcupine fish. He has spines, but they’re very small and thin. They usually only show up when he’s inflated.

He HATES being inflated but it’s happens a lot.

Basically any elevated emotion inflates him. He’s angry? Puff! He’s playful? Puff! He’s excited? Puff! He’s sad? Puff! He’s [redacted]? PUFF!

He doesn’t care too much about human culture, but he is aware of this cursed video. He was hanging around a boat with a bunch of spring breakers and slipped a phone for a few minutes, stumbling across Youtube. Connor thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

Oh, yeah, so merpeople don’t have any sort of electronic technology, but some of the most curious ones will snatch devices from boats. They are aware they don’t work underwater, so it’s usually like a dramatic spy scene of mermaids hanging out by boats with phones and tablets and messing around as much as they can for five to ten minutes.

Alana is super social and during vacations from school she’ll travel with merpeople and regular aquatic life and migrate around the world.

She’s traveled literally everywhere and has been doing it since she was a child. Her whole family used to go, but now it’s just her. Her parents trust her to be alone.

Alana has come across Sea World and other marine parks with Orcas and it makes her incredibly angry. There have been a few instances where animals in captivity have… Mysteriously escaped back into the wild…

She does have a super playful side and is very curious of humans despite often having a negative judgement/attitude towards them. When she just wants to have fun or relax, she goes bow riding along the wake of boats. She’s clever enough to not be seen.

Yes, there is merpeople high school because why not.

Again, science doesn’t exist and this au honestly doesn’t have rules.So just go ham and make mermaids, y'all!

I’m still deciding on how I want to portray Miguel, but right now I’m thinking Red Lionfish or Pacific Seahorse.That boy is something very colorful and proud!

So previously I mentioned there being an education system for merpeople as they do form societies.

So all the teens (minus Miguel) go to school together.

Their school, as well as most of the buildings in their particular society, is made up of scrapped parts from shipwrecks and other human debris. There are also some buildings and landmarks carved out of the landscape, but they gotta keep it fresh, keep it interesting. They’re still discovering and learning technology, but in their own unique ways.

(Okay, you probably didn’t even care about that fact but as an enthusiast for a “rebuild from the remains” aesthetic, I have to sprinkle in my little funky twists.)

The particular “town” of merpeople they live in isn’t very large and is constantly changing size and population due to some mers moving in and out.

Evan broke his arm over summer break in a coastal accident.

Seeing that merpeople don’t fully abide by the living standards of their aquatic ancestors, they tend to mix, mingle, and migrate without too much structure. Obviously certain families with stay together and there are some pockets of merpeople who live by more strict cultural rules. But for the sake of au, Evan and the gang live in a more relaxed mer civilization.

So, over the summer Evan was working with a group of mers that focus on coastal wildlife. Evan in particular focused on coral health and how it was being affected by human activity.

But our boy is depressed and lonely, so one day he strays from his usual group of coworkers and ventured toward a cluster of fishing boats. The general rule is don’t go near humans, especially when on the job.

He noticed that some of the boats were anchored, so he grabbed one of them from the seabed, hoisted it up the surface, and launched it above water for his to come crashing down with force behind it.

His arm got pinned under the anchor, thus breaking it.

Now, the rest of the AU at the moment is more freeform and doesn’t follow the plot of the musical, but I did want to included how Evan broke his arm.

Connor is not dead in this particular version of the AU, but feel free to craft multiple storylines and arcs with different outcomes!

Connor does paint his nails!

As previously mentioned, he is very fascinated by human society and like to get a little too close.

So, one day he came across some spring breakers and watched as they went about their activities sunbathing and painting their nails. As soon as they looked away, he stole several bottles.

It’s rare for him to find nail polish, especially since he ruined his first bottle by opening it up under water and losing the contents. But whenever a party boat or a boat of spring breakers rolls by, especially with a bunch of girls, he always has to check.

He quickly learned that whenever he wants to do his nails he has to make a whole thing about hauling himself up to surface and propping on a rock or a beach for some time.

He’s collected his signature black as well as a metallic purple, glittery pink, and bright turquoise. He wears the black and purple the most. He loves the other two colors, but poor baby is insecure and wearing nail polish as a mer is already enough to cause stares.

Jared also thinks that human legs are hot.

When Jared is puffed up, other mers will bop him around like a volleyball. It’s an unfortunate thing for any and all puffers.

Evan’s dad is a Barracuda mer, which for a Barracuda and an Octopus to mate is incredibly rare. It’s a wonder that Evan didn’t come out a totally wack and new sea monster.

But like I said, science doesn’t really exist here! Anything goes! Be whatever mer you wanna be! Love whatever mer you wanna love!

[junker-town]

Lionel Messi’s 73-goal season was an individual triumph, and a disaster for Barcelona

Remembering the greatest soccer player on Earth’s wildest season ever.

Anyone who has followed Lionel Messi’s career can, if they really think about it, pinpoint the moment when they realized he is better than any footballer they’ve ever seen. For me, that moment was his five-goal performance against Bayer Leverkusen in the UEFA Champions League.

These poor souls are not bad players.

Every member of this Leverkusen lineup had a solid pedigree. They started for their respective national teams, or had at least one season when they were considered one of the Bundesliga’s top players, or were eventually sold to a richer club for a lot of money. The midfielders were defensive-minded and the forwards were hard-working. Even if they did not have anywhere near the talent of Barcelona, they should have been very difficult to play against. This is a lineup that should have been, if nothing else, frustrating.

But they didn’t slow down Messi for a second. He sped right through them, as if the game was being played on a sheet of ice and Messi had skates while Leverkusen defenders wore sneakers. It isn’t hard to imagine Messi scoring five goals against a quality opponent, but it’s unbelievable how easy he made it look. This was when I realized there is no one like Messi.

These were goals 44-48 in Messi’s record-breaking 73-goal season, an accomplishment that has never been matched in high level soccer before or after that 2011-12 season. If European club competitions retain their current formats, no one may ever beat it.

But though it facilitated the greatest individual season of all time, Barcelona also found out that winning titles isn’t as simple as giving Messi as many goal-scoring chances as possible. Messi’s most eye-popping season wound up a colossal failure from a team perspective, and Barcelona has learned since that one superstar — even if he’s the best player the sport has ever seen — cannot carry a team by himself.

The how and why

Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have posted 50-plus goal seasons so many times now that fans have taken the accomplishment for granted. But when both scored 53 goals during the 2010-11 season, conventional wisdom said that was as high as anyone could go. Diego Forlan, a World Cup golden ball and two-time European golden shoe winner, topped out at 35 goals in a year. Thierry Henry got to 39. Brazilian legend Ronaldo once had a 47-goal season, and never got close to that mark again.

While we assumed we had seen the pinnacle, then-Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola spent the 2011 preseason devising a new system that would prioritize, above all else, feeding Messi as many goal-scoring chances as possible. Messi’s previous season — his first as Barca’s starting center forward — went spectacularly well, but Guardiola believed he could get even more out of his superstar. Guardiola also sensed his 4-3-3 system was beginning to get found out, and he wanted to incorporate new signing Cesc Fabregas into the team.

Guaridola’s solution was to rotate his old setup with a 3-4-3 system that had a diamond midfield and no traditional wingbacks. The team’s shape and the quality of players in the center of midfield meant Barcelona could overwhelm opponents in the center of the pitch. The system was also unorthodox; Barcelona’s opponents had never seen anything like it.

Perhaps we should have known what was coming from Messi based on his performance in the Supercopa de España. He absolutely ragdolled Pepe — a large, tough defender who could knock out most people with one punch — for his first goal of the season.

Messi’s two goals in the first leg, a 2-2 draw away from home, gave Barcelona a great chance to win the trophy. His team struggled to contain Real Madrid’s attack in the return fixture, but Messi delivered two more goals, including an 88th-minute winner.

Messi would keep up this blistering goal-scoring pace for 10 months, almost uninterrupted.

The best of the 73

While the five-goal destruction of Leverkusen is the most famous Messi performance from his record campaign, my favorite is his utter destruction of Atlético Madrid. He got a hat trick — goals 10-12 for the season, all before the end of September — and it felt like he could have scored more. He forced an own goal, and was fouled several times at the end of slalom runs through multiple defenders that felt like they were going to end with shots on goal.

Messi scored his 15th of the season a couple of weeks later against Racing Santander, and showed off everything that makes him so special in front of the goal. He fully embarrassed two defenders and the goalkeeper in three touches. Before they realized what had happened, the ball was in the back of the net.

Goals 34-36 against Malaga were some of his finest work. The first, a header, was out of character for the miniature magician. But the next two were the kind that only Messi scores. On the second, he was surrounded by five defenders, and yet it felt like none of them could get close to him. He might as well have been playing in open space. On the third, he stepped past a hard challenge from his international teammate Martin Demichelis, then turned on the jets and burned the rest of the defense.

In the middle of the season, Messi hit an impossible-looking free kick to score No. 43 and terrorize Atlético Madrid a second time. Atléti complained that Messi shot before they knew play was live, but a perfectly positioned wall and goalkeeper couldn’t have done anything. To this day, it is arguably Messi’s most impressive free-kick goal.

Goal No. 61 might have been the most aesthetically pleasing of the bunch. It was vintage Barca, with Messi and Iniesta playing a perfect one-two combination, and Iniesta providing a backheel assist.

Throughout that season, it felt like Messi produced at this level every week. Unfortunately for Barcelona, Messi’s teammates weren’t nearly up to his caliber.

Messi can’t do everything

No matter the formation, Barca was set up to feed Messi shooting opportunities. Guardiola rotated playmakers Fabregas, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta and Thiago Alcantara, and on rare occasions put all four on the field at the same time. For opponents, focusing on slowing down Messi was nearly impossible, because so many different players could hit him with creative passes from any angle.

But there was a problem.

I believe that Messi’s 2011-12 is the greatest individual season anyone has ever had in professional team sports, but one person can only take a team so far in soccer. An expertly constructed team with no stars can stifle a team with the greatest player on Earth and a bunch of mismatched parts.

By the time El Clásico rolled around in December, Barca lagged well behind Real Madrid, despite Messi’s heroics. Pep’s 3-4-3 lacked defensive solidity, and Barca didn’t have another ruthless finisher to take pressure off its superstar. The Blaugrana’s highest highs were much higher than Real Madrid’s, but Ronaldo’s and manager Jose Mourinho’s team was much more consistent.

Real Madrid had lost one game and drawn one up to that point, while Barca had lost one and drawn four. But Barcelona cut their rival’s La Liga lead to three points thanks to a Messi masterclass away at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu.

Messi didn’t score — in fact, he rarely even got into the penalty area. But he was universally acclaimed as the best player on the pitch. He turned playmaker for his teammates, setting up Fabregas and Alexis Sanchez to finish off his moves. The match showed how Messi is arguably at his best: sitting in a deeper position, picking passes for runners in front of him, and arriving late in the penalty area to clean up the garbage after an initial save or block. But that strategy can only only work if the players in front of him step up.

Fabregas and Sanchez delivered on that day at the Bernabeu, but they never had the lethal finishing touch of Messi’s previous teammates, Samuel Eto’o and Thierry Henry, or his future teammates, Luis Suarez and Neymar.

One match later, Barca threw away the points gained in El Clásico. Fabregas scored in the first half against local rivals Espanyol, but didn’t attempt a shot in the second half of what ended as a 1-1 draw. Sanchez looked like he couldn’t finish his dinner, and was hauled off. Another draw against Valencia and a loss to Osasuna followed, effectively ending the La Liga title race by February.

But at least Barcelona still had a Champions League to play for ... ah, dammit.

The legacy of the best season ever played

Barcelona won Copa del Rey at the end of the 2011-12 season, but Barca supporters don’t exactly look back on this season fondly. Instead, it is remembered as the season when Chelsea dumped Barca out of the Champions League and Real Madrid posted a record 100 points.

The season fell apart for Barca one week in April when Mourinho and Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo came to the same conclusion: they had to shut down Messi at all costs, even if it meant leaving other talented players wide open.

And so, in both Champions League games against Chelsea and in El Clásico, Messi did not score. He played well in all three games, regularly finding open teammates for shots, but they couldn’t score, either. Fabregas, Sanchez and Pedro choked.

Guardiola’s idea to start the season made sense: if Messi is the best goal-scorer in the world, let’s surround him with good, unselfish supporting players who can give him as many shots as possible. But without a secondary finisher, teams could get away with swarming Messi and ignoring his partners. Barcelona had no plan B.

The failures of 2011-12 Barcelona, and the subsequent successes of Messi teams in which he plays a deeper role while others act as goal-poachers, suggests that we may never see anything like his 73-goal season again. Even if another Messi-level player emerges, they likely won’t be used in the same way he was. The lesson of that season is that it’s easy to gameplan against a team with just one focal point, even if that player is the best the sport has ever seen.

That’s why Barcelona would eventually buy Neymar, even though he was unproven in Europe, and the deal to sign him would put them in legal trouble. And it’s why they had to sign Luis Suarez in the immediate aftermath of him biting an opponent for a third time. With those two playing alongside Messi, Barcelona won a treble in 2014-15, capturing the Champions League, La Liga and Copa del Rey in the same season.

Messi can carry average players to title contention, but he is at his best when the opponent also has to respect his teammates’ goal-scoring. He’s too good in a deeper, playmaking role to be a goal-poacher.

Which is saying something, given that when he was asked to play as the primary striker, he scored 73 times. Messi couldn’t help Barcelona overcome its structural deficiencies, but he still performed the job he was given to near perfection. He was in the wrong role, with the wrong players around him, but the 2011-12 season was Messi at his absolute best.