#i hope you appreciate it i put way too much effort into this shitpost

[adozentothedawn]

NOW with an EXLUSIVE INTERVIEW

why did i make this

So i saw this potantial harper's bazaar cover from last year's germany's next topmodel and could not stop thinking about it

so yeah i made this cursed monstrosity now

[makoredeyes]

Hello, I hope you're doing well! This is probably an odd question, feel free to ignore it. I wanted to ask you as a fellow writer I admire, who is mostly focused on unpopular/dead/deep lore characters. Do you also sometimes feel like what you're writing is irrelevant and unexciting for everyone, except yourself? If so, how do you deal with this? For me sometimes this sudden realization is so crushing, that I cannot bring myself to finish a single work.

Hello! That’s not an odd question at all in fact it feels pretty relevant tbh. (Omg sorry long reply you got me going 💙)

I think I have several kind of interrelated answers for you so let me lay them out.

1- I am powered by autism and a MIGHTY hyperfixation. I have no choice I am compelled. I am blinded to all other things and so while the little bit of feedback that I do get is AMAZING and so extra sparkly motivating it is not entirely what compels me (but BOY does it help)

2- I joked with a friend just last night that, “this season is, as usual, does not have NEARLY enough Felwinter content and so I must therefore create my own.” - as she pointed out, there have been exactly TWO seasons with ANY Felwinter content at all and I wasn’t playing destiny yet for one of them. My point being, sometimes you gotta create what you want to see yourself. I’ve always found myself in some really niche corner of whatever fandom I’m in and have to do this a lot. Probably how I got to writing and drawing etc. fun thing is tho you find a really special group of people who think and love like you that way, and if it’s a smaller crowd, it’s all the more intimate for it Imo. I’ve made some super special friends in the last 9 months or so in my weird little corner here and it’s magical and I think that quality over quantity filter is awesome. (But yeah i know the validation machine is SO good too)

3- the BEST magic of borrowing from obscure content, generally unknown or undeveloped characters or lore is the creative freedom. The headcannon swapping the worldbuilding the background gathering… the RESEARCH! Gleaning what little bit I can from what we DO have. Who the fuck is timur?! We don’t know. I borrowed the beautiful designs for his face and general personality that Sylenth has developed because she’s done such an amazing job and was kind enough to allow me to play with him as she made him, and took that as jump off point for my writing etc but I have all the wiggle room in the world with but a few widely dispersed canon signposts to lead my direction and that is just so fucking fun for me.

(And that doesn’t mean more mainstream characters like Osiris don’t have their creative appeal to me either. I will deep dive on lore and character analysis for YEARS but living in the peripherals is comfy for me)

Those are all the positives to my work, but yeah, sometimes I do feel a little dejected. I have definitely felt a drop off in reader response weirdly in converse to the effort I put into my writing. Housefire has evolved into much more of a cohesive Plot(tm) that is going somewhere very specific from its origin of a few interlinked fluffy anecdotes and funnily enough about the time I started really digging my heels in and plotting and planning and putting in twists I was REALLY excited about, people started responding less. Some of my favorite fics are the least popular. Some of my art I am most proud of gets the least attention but that damn doodle of poor Felwinter getting splattered by a warsat has 200+ more notes than my next most popular art. (The shitposts always win Damnit! 😩🤣😅)

I get frustrated and yeah sometimes a bit discouraged sometimes and I spend Way Too Much time sitting here refreshing my notes because I am a sad lonely person chronically online just way too thirsty for a little validation or a conversation with someone but like. Every piece gets better. Every piece SOMEONE appreciates. Every piece **I** enjoy and is also a chance for all of that when I share it with the world and that’s exciting and good, and like I said the people in this community as niche and little as it is, are really something special, and some of the people that have come into my circle because of it make it SO worth it.

**I was done but then I read your ask one more time and I’ll add this since it popped into my head last-second:

If we are creating works for dead characters we love, we are keeping them alive.

How magical is that??

[smokinrat]

This is a “I want to be mutuals, but am too scared to ask” appreciation post

(It’s just me tagging everyone I’m too scared to ask to be mutuals with, and telling them how much I appreciate them)

@pumpkinsy0

You were one of the first blogs I followed, and I appreciate you posting frequently - even if it’s just a few words.

@hellsfanatic

Another one of the first blogs I followed, seeing your content always makes me feel better, and you overall seem like a great person to be around/talk to (Also I hope you won bingo).

@j-nope-not-today

You’re so nice, and I love your writing! You do a great job. I love the effort you put in, and the way you write the turtles.

@raphaelsrightarm

Ngl I think I’ve read almost all your stuff, it’s so good - you’re just amazing. So happy to have you here.

@terrible-turtles

The first turtle blog I found, I love your work sm, thank you for doing everything you’ve done :)

@johnnycadesjeanjacket

BRO — You’re great, amazing, love you & your content. It’s always nice seeing your discussions with people, because you can tell there’s a lot of thought put into them.

@sophie-i-guess13 (Mutuals, but still)

OHH MY GODDD

Pretty sure this was the 2nd blog I followed. You, you are spectacular. You are fantastically divine. I genuinely can’t put into words how much I appreciate you 🫶

@ponyboys-sunset

Great work, great blog setup, great writing skills, great everything. You make me laugh all the time, and do a spectacular execution in writing characters.

@two-bit-no-cents

I love the way you write about Two-bit. Thank you, you do a great job. It’s always nice seeing some of my favorite creators share the same thoughts on different characters.

@demipuff17

I love the amount of fandoms you’re in, and the Gravity Falls reference in your bio-thing

The highlighted stuff

@staygoldponebone

I can always recognize your account right away, it just has a special feel to it. Your writing skills are off the chart, absolutely love it!

@socheckitout-mikey

Phenomenal, just phenomenal. You do a stupendous job at it all, and I love seeing your different head-canons! ❤︎

NOW, THE ONE AND ONLY….

@rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me

YEAHHHH, DILLO

The very first blog I followed, you are just amazing. I love your writing so much, and you put the characters into perspective perfectly. You’re such a kind person. Every-time you post I’m so happy to see it.

You all mean so much to me, and I appreciate & love all of you. Thank you so much for putting the effort into your writing, because even if it’s just a shitpost it’s amazing! You all deserve the world! ❤︎

(Also if any of us are already mutuals, please feel free to tell me, Sophie already had to point it out to me lmao)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I feel so terrible saying this because I don't know if there's a better way, but after reading the reply where you mentioned that you feel bad your art isn't getting out there, I went and had a look. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into it, but there really seems to be a bit of an uncanny valley effect when you draw people - it might be an issue with the level of detail/realism you're trying to go for, or perhaps the shading? I love your use of colour but the characters feel creepy.

Hey Nonny!

Thanks for your honesty; I’ll take it to heart and try to improve. This is the proper way for constructive criticism, and it’s appreciated.

I think it’s just more frustrating because this has been something ongoing for literally decades. I used to draw anime/manga style, my art was considered shit. So I tried a little more loose and fun style, my art was considered unoriginal. I focused on a chibi style, it was considered unoriginal. My last style, people hated it because they said my heads were too big / feet too big (funny thing about this one, another big name artist in another fandom actually stole my crooked tails/big feet style, and everyone fucking praised them and my art was still ignored).

I switched to humans AND digital art a few years ago, and I still have troubles with noses and mouths, and I can’t do either of those right either. 

You can actually see my art progression over on my deviantART. There’s over 1000 pieces up there, I think. Just so much of the gallery is old stuff that I cringe when I go to it, LOL. But I’ve always found passion and love in fandom, and I’ve always wanted to do a comic, but time is something I’m in short supply of.

I can’t please anyone, anymore, honestly. I have other qualms regarding certain... styles... but I’m not going to publicly say it here, because I already get enough hate in my inbox. It’s mostly all a self-esteem issue these days. People like my art fine when I do stuff for them. But as soon as it’s not for them, I get shit on. I’ve seen other styles similar to mine, and they get lots of traction, so I dunno. And as I said, people have down right stolen my art before (hence the big watermarks), and yeah.

I’ve never done bad in art classes in high school and college (90+, deductions were always because I was always late with assignments), and I’m a professional graphic designer, so I guess I just have a hard time with... thinking beyond the confines of a social media shitpost piece? Newspaper design destroyed my creativity, Lovely. Because almost 20 years of design jobs “everything has to be just so” has pretty much erased the creativity I used to have, LOL. I like it when my freelance clients let me work beyond “photo, name, call to action” LOL. My day job is great but we have to pretty much have to stay on-brand all the time.

I know I need a lot of learning to still do re: digital art, and I do lessons online here and there from time to time. It’s just hard when my current job demands so much time from me, and depression and feelings of self-loathing leave me constantly just... not up, you know? I used to have a lot more free time than I do nowadays, which is ironic given I’m at home all the time. 

Anyway. I know those aren’t excuses. I just want to make people happy with my art, and it’s hard when work and my own anxiety bleeds me dry, y’know? I do art for myself more than anything, just something to break up the ennui of my day job and loneliness.

Thank you for your respectful comments. I’ll try from this point forward to tweak my stuff, and I hope you’ll come back in a few months / another year and let me know if you think.

[jtrbluv]

tag game !

tagged by the lovely linh @latetaektalk ,, thank u soso much! this was so fun omg

tagging: @allurain @koushiningg @dreamystuffers @jinpanman @dulce-pjm @suhdays @pjmsdior @bangtans-peaceful-piegon @sugacouture

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

um i didn't rly write for any fandoms when i was younger, but i knew my 12yo self was probably conjuring harry potter headcanons in my head D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

for now, and for a long time, i've been writing for bts. i've like always been a multi from the moment i got into kpop but i've never actually fleshed out any of the wips i had for any other groups LMFAO. honorable mentions are got7, skz, haikyuu yup

3. how long have you been writing?

a longggg time, i think. i enjoyed writing fiction as a kid a lot. most of it would be like off-brand spy kids/harry potter/hunger games type beat stuff. and it was awful. but i was literally like 9 so cut me some slackLKSDFJSLKDjf

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

primarily tumblr and i only recently made an ao3 acc. the only fic i have on there is a tae drabble that's already posted on here LOL. i think it's 'resolutely, yours.' but i don't even remember bye. i remember i drafted drivers license on there but i literally forgot to post it so it's probably gone HAHA.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

e2l even though i have no e2l fics on this blog i think

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i used to never plan my fics, like at all. but then i was so unsatisfied with the flow of things and like idk lack of clarity. drivers license was the first time i actually sat down and planned out an entire fic as i was writing it. it rly does make things easier when u have an idea of what u want. and then just having the idea can help you possibly expand on it and get even better ideas off of it. the events of drivers license and the order it was all written in changed like 20394803 times. but yeah, does that make sense... LMFAO

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i can never fucking get myself to finish a series. i love reading them tho

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

no clue. i love long stories and slow burn tho, it's just so satisfying and $wag when it's well-written and the characters are well-written too.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

the fic i'm about to post is nearing 20k, and it might even surpass that which will end up being the longest story on this blog. insane! drivers license is around 10k i think, and then if u combine the wnrs couple's fics it's like 15k? im too lazy to look tbh SRy

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh drivers license for sure! i don't think i've ever immersed myself and put so much effort into a story before. it was truly an amazing experience, and i just know that i'll probably never be able to write anything like that fic ever again. it's rly one of a kind for me.

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

most of the requests i had on this blog got taken down bc they were so bad. i'm not sure if the yoongi superhero!au is still up on here, but i'd choose that one since i really had to branch out of my writing style for it. regardless of it being like barely 2k.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

miscommunication, so much banter, i used to see this a lot but i would take it out but... head bonking ??LSKDFJHAHA, my side characters being dumbasses and then my main characters being even bigger dumbasses (oc probably being the biggest dumbass)

13. current number of wips?

during the course of writing the current fic i plan on posting this week, i created like 5 wips and they all hit 5k, and then i straight up abandoned them. and then the endless idea bank google doc. so if i count the wips i for sure want to finish by like this year or summer... like 3 or 4.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i feel like i repeat stuff a lot throughout all my stories LOL,, it irks me so bad. i think i relate to all my ocs in at least one way or another.

15. a quote you like from a published story

alrighty this is a lil snippet from 'drivers license':

this is from the second letter oc wrote to jk:

"The same delusional daydreamer hopes that one day we can talk and laugh like old pals. Like nothing ever changed between us. I hope you achieve your dreams that you always thought seem too far-fetched, yet in the back of my mind I always knew you could easily grasp. I hope someday you can live a life of lesser worries and insecurities, because you rarely had any to start off with. I always hoped the world for you, because you deserve it. And despite everything, I still believe you do."

this paragraph seems pretty simple but i think it did the best job of like describing oc's emotions and realization of things,, its kinda cliche tew yas love that

16. a quote from an unpublished story

alr this is from the e2l jimin series that is going to take me forever to write bc the outline for it is SO LONG

“Would it kill you to at least show up with a shirt on?“ You sneer, patting your forehead with the back of your hand due to the sweltering sun. The event hasn’t even started yet and you can already feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck.

Crossing his arms, he scoffs, his biceps bulging out as his arms bend. Not like you were staring at them. “Sorry couldn’t hear you, too busy boosting the school’s morale.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

i feel like i don't show enough appreciation to my readers and mutual on this blog. i have met so many lovely people and have gotten so much support, i hope u all know that it does NOT go unnoticed. i always tend to go back and reread all the comments and asks that i get on my stories bc it rly does make my heart soar. it makes my day!!! thank u all for sticking with me thru all my 3am shitposts and inconsistent writing schedule LOL,, you all have my whole heart and some more <3

[idk-where-im-going-but]

Touch That Warms The Heart

Thanks to @all-da-fandoms for the title and @spectralheartt for beta-ing y’all are awesome

Word count: 2241

Virgil has always had a problem with words.

All types of words—whether they’re on paper, in his head, or coming out of his mouth. When he writes, his words are incomprehensible even to himself. When he thinks, he does more harm than good (usually to himself), and when he speaks, he almost always sounds stupid.

So he mostly doesn’t write or speak (he can’t do much about the thinking problem) but, unsurprisingly, that can be a problem when humans—and sides—more often than not use words to communicate with each other. It’s really no wonder that Virgil is misunderstood constantly.

Sometimes, though, this is more than just a problem—it’s a fucking travesty.

——-

Virgil realized what he needed at two in the morning on a Saturday and it was absolutely Patton’s fault.

He was sitting on the left-most cushion of the couch, Patton immediately to his right with Logan and Roman next to him. Virgil was the only one awake, the others having fallen asleep hours ago, but his eyes were closed nonetheless. He’d surrendered himself to the fact that he would not be getting any sleep before morning, but there was no reason to keep his eyes open in a room without light, so he let them shut.

Virgil didn’t know if he’d been sitting there for 30 seconds, five minutes, or an hour when he felt something warm and heavy fall onto his right shoulder. His eyes snapped open immediately and he sucked in breath through his nose, turning to his shoulder. He wasn’t surprised to find Patton’s head resting there, snoring and smiling slightly.

Virgil sighed and closed his eyes once again, suddenly a bit drowsy and sleepy. It was then that he truly felt the weight on his shoulder and the heat that had begun seeping through his hoodie. It felt...nice, having someone so near. Really nice.

So when Patton shifted and his head fell onto Logan’s shoulder, Virgil felt cold. Not outwardly, no, but as if the lack of contact had made him empty. That concerned Virgil—the fact that physical contact could have that much of an affect on him.

Before he could overthink, Virgil reached over carefully, lifting Patton’s head from Logan’s shoulder with his left hand and resting it back on his own. Virgil smiled at the warmth that filled him, then frowned. Oh, Virgil thought. Shit.

Because physical contact was something Virgil liked, so much so that he felt cold without it, but what’s he going to do—ask the other sides to touch him?

The anxious side involuntarily winced at his thoughts, jostling Patton. The moral side shifted and yawned, opening his eyes groggily. Virgil, realizing they we’re still touching, gently shoved Patton off his shoulder and practically ran to his room, ignoring Patton’s confused What? and locking the door behind him.

Virgil did not leave his room the next day. The other sides knew that sometimes he needed time alone and did not question him or express any concern (Patton’s questioning glances were ignored and dismissed).

Virgil kept his head down for the next few days.

——-

It happened with Roman one week after Virgil’s epiphany.

Every Sunday, Roman wakes up early with Patton, cooking breakfast and singing or humming Disney songs while dancing around the kitchen as they work. So when Virgil leaves his room for breakfast he’s not at all surprised to see Patton and Roman dancing together, spinning through the kitchen with their fingers intertwined. (Virgil ignores the pang of jealousy within him—not for either one of them specifically but simply for the fact that they’re holding hands.)

Virgil makes his way into the kitchen, settles at the table, and immediately takes his phone from his pocket and opens Tumblr, scrolling mindlessly. His attention is completely elsewhere, despite his efforts to focus on the amount of shitposts and depressing memes glaring back at him, because Roman and Patton are still singing, still dancing, still holding hands. Until—

“Kiddo, you’ve gotta let me go now! Who else is going to make you my famous Patton Pancakes?” Patton smiles at Roman as he whines and begins to dance toward the stove, pulling his hands away from Roman’s. “Dance with Virge over there! I’m sure Ballroom is just his style.”

“But Daaad,” Roman frowns but relents when he receives no response, “Okaaay.” He turns to Virgil, who is still pretending to be paying attention to his phone, and drops to one knee, extending his hand. Virgil puts his phone down, faking confusion at Roman’s presence. The prince smiles widely and clears his throat dramatically, “Will you, Virgil, in all your anxious excellence, allow me the pleasure of being your dance partner this fine, Sunday morning.”

And what is Virgil to do but say yes—not for the sake of the dancing, of course, but Virgil would be lying if he said he didn’t hope they would hold hands. Honestly though, Virgil would settle for anything at this point.

It’s been an entire week since Patton’s head was on his shoulder and he’s gotten very little to no physical contact with the other sides, so he’s feeling a little (see: very, very) empty.

So Virgil could not blame himself for the smile that graced his face when the warmth of Roman’s hands began to seep into his. Nor can he judge himself for slipping his eyes closed, trusting Roman to lead him. When the prince began humming a different tune, a slow one, Virgil did judge himself for resting his forehead on Roman’s shoulder, but he did not move because Roman did not ask him to.

The two sides danced slowly around the kitchen in that position for nearly ten minutes before Patton announced that breakfast was ready, leaving to inform Logan, who was in his room. The anxious side made no move to distance himself from Roman, but soon the prince pushed him gently away, keeping their fingers interlocked between their bodies and stepping back. Virgil opened his eyes slowly and was met with the sight of Roman’s eyes observing him shrewdly, the creative side’s mouth pulled down into a frown. “Hey, Virge,” Roman spoke gently, squeezing Virgil’s hands in his, and Virgil was coherent enough to detect the concern in his voice. “You okay?”

Virgil nodded sluggishly and reluctantly pulled his hands away from Roman. He could feel his heart begin to freeze over from the lack of warmth as he walked to the chair he was previously sitting in and slouched, reopening Tumblr. Roman sat across from Virgil and the anxious side could feel the weight of his gaze.

“Hey! I’ve got Logan!” Patton rushed to the kitchen table with Logan trailing behind him, sitting down next to Roman while Logan sat with Virgil.

“They can see that, Patton.” Logan said dryly.

Roman turned his attention from Virgil and made eye contact with Logan instead, exclaiming, “Well, Pat, I think you’re absolutely wonderful for sharing this information with us! Logan’s just being a grump, as usual.” Logan rolled his eyes playfully, knowing Roman was joking, and Patton chuckled as Roman began inhaling the pancakes.

Virgil smiled, not because of Roman’s shenanigans but because the prince’s observant eye was no longer trained on him. I have to get myself together, Virgil thought. I can’t just go around touching people and I can’t ask for cuddles or hugs...so I guess I better get used to the cold.

——-

It happened with Logan two and a half weeks after Virgil’s impromptu dance with Roman, and Virgil was freezing.

It wasn’t a secret to anyone, including Logan, that the logical side had a temper. When things weren’t going according to plan (A.K.A. Logan’s Way), he lost it a bit. Logan knew this and he was trying to work on calming himself down and controlling his temperamental tendencies, but he sometimes he slipped up. Like now, for example, as he argues with Virgil in the living room about an outing that Thomas was invited to.

Virgil’s stance on the matter was this: Thomas would be ostracized, people would ask about his job and be disappointed with his answer, no one there would like him or appreciate his presence, and he’d end up alone or leaving early anyways.

Logan’s stance was this: Thomas has been avoiding his friends for too long and it was negatively affecting his mental health, there won't be many people there and Thomas will know most of them, and there it is very likely that Thomas will have a good time and his dopamine levels will increase.

Their volume levels raised rapidly and soon they were yelling, attracting the attention of Roman and Patton who left their rooms to investigate the noise. Virgil’s voice was loud but not as loud as Logan’s, whose face had become red, and Patton as well as Roman found themselves prepared to intervene if necessary.

It was then that Logan reached out and grabbed Virgil’s shoulders and shook the anxious side back and forth, over and over, nearly violent enough to hurt, and screamed, “WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME? DO YOU NOT WANT THE BEST FOR THOMAS, THE BEST FOR ALL OF US? LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN—“

It was only when Logan had stopped shaking him and stopped yelling or speaking at all that Virgil noticed his own chin was bowed, his eyes were closed, and all tension had left his body. But he didn’t move, didn’t speak, barely even breathed because Logan’s hands were still on Virgil’s shoulders and it had been so long since he felt such warmth. The anxious side knew that he should be utterly furious at Logan’s violence towards him but he just couldn’t.

“Virgil?” Virgil distantly heard Logan’s voice and the sheer amount concern in the single word he spoke, but he could not bring himself to respond. All he could think about was Logan’s touch, Logan’s warmth, and the fact that he wasn’t so cold anymore. It was only when Logan removed his hands from Virgil that the anxious side jolted and opened his eyes, the muscles in his back and shoulders tightening and his jaw snapping shut where it had been subconsciously ajar.

He stepped back and blinked once. Twice, before turning away and walking slowly to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him without a word.

—

Virgil remained in his room for the following two weeks, freezing even under two layers of clothes and his comforter; cold even while he sweat under his blankets. He only left (enveloped in two long-sleeved shirts and his sweater) when he became too hungry to ignore, and though the sides did not require food, they feel much better with than without.

He passes the living room as he makes his way to the kitchen and notices Roman, Patton, and Logan sitting on the couch, speaking to each other in moderately low voices, hunched over in a way that prevents them from seeing Virgil.

The anxious side almost made it to the threshold of the kitchen when the floorboards creaked beneath him and the chatter of the others ceased abruptly. Virgil didn’t stop though, and continued to the kitchen, grabbing five granola bars from a cupboard, and beginning to walk back to his room, refusing to acknowledge the weight of the three pairs of eyes resting so heavily over him.

“Virge,” He halted at the sound of Patton’s gentle voice, but did not turn to face the couch. “Please. Look at us. We want to talk to you.” And how could Virgil not turn around when he could so clearly hear the desperation and pleading in the moral side’s voice.

So he turned around but kept his eyes lowered, settling himself in the armchair by the couch without a word, and waited. He waited for them to yell at him for being in his room for so long; for enjoying their touch; for being such a fucking mess; for existing. Because he’s definitely yelled at himself for all of those more than once, and it wouldn’t be surprising if they did too.

“Virgil,” Logan is the first to speak, “We’ve noticed your odd behavior recently—spacing out at times, keeping your head bowed, and locking yourself in your room for a prolonged period of time—and we have a...guess as to why you’ve been acting this way that we’d like to share with you.”

Virgil opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. When he spoke, he was just above a whisper, “Okay. What…what are you thinking?” Keeping his eyes on his socks, he brought his knees to his chest, curling his arms around them, and braced himself for the wave of scorn and hate he was sure he’d receive.

“Virgil, my lovely dark prince, my knight in obsidian armor...are you touch-starved?”

And that just about broke him. Tears burst from his eyes and he set his forehead on his knees. He sobbed as he heard shifting from the couch and felt gentle hands combing through his hair. He sobbed as a fingertips lightly rubbed his back and shoulders. He sobbed even harder when his legs were carefully moved so his feet were resting on the floor and he was gathered into three pairs of arms.

There was no cold to consume him here. Only warmth, relief, and something that tasted a lot like love.

[fight-me-wyatt]

Finn Wolfhard ~ Mistletoe ~ part one

Request/Prompt: Nope. Just a special since its Finns birthday on the 23rd and Christmas on the 25th. 

Ship:  Finn Wolfhard x fem!reader 

Summary: (for part one) Finn and the reader are childhood friends but kinda drifted apart. Finn invites her over for his birthday/Christmas party with all his cast mates. 

Type: Fluff! 

Warning: Only warning would be swearing, I think. 

 Word count: 2356 (including A/Ns) 

Hope you enjoy it. Let me know! I'm going to be doing something a little different for this, and I'm going to post each day for them on the actual day (New Zealand time), so it'll be split into 5 parts. If that makes sense. Hope you guys don't mind me doing it this way! Tbh im not sure if ill be able to write it all in time, but might as well give it a shot!

Gif credit goes to @shitposting-tozier

2 1 s t   D e c e m b e r . 

Y/N POV 

"Y/N pleeeeeaaassseeee" the muffled voice of Finn Wolfhard begged through the phone, "everyone's dying to meet you!" 

 I sighed and plopped down on the couch, spinning so I was upside down with my legs over the top and my hair brushing the ground. 

I loved talking to Finn and hearing his voice, but right now I was ready to end the call. 

"I don't know Finn... They're probably just saying that for your sake." I mumbled, staring at the world from an upside down point-of-view. 

Finn groaned through the phone and I rolled my eyes at his over-dramatising. It was cute, but extremely annoying. 

"Pretty please, Y/N?! I really want you there, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages! It'll just be like when we were younger and had family Christmas parties." He offered, trying to get me to come. 

He wanted me to agree to go to a Birthday/Christmas party he was having with all his cast mates and stuff. And as someone from his past, not really his present; I wasn't very keen to go. 

 Our families used to live next door, so Finn and I grew up together. We were best friends and we did everything together. Every year we had a massive neighbourhood Christmas party. But since the Wolfhards moved away, and with Finns acting, it got harder and harder trying to catch up. We kind of drifted apart, despite both of our efforts. 

I sighed, closing my eyes. 

The more we talked, the harder it was to say goodbye. The more I saw him, the harder it was to deny my feelings. 

"I don't know Finn. You'll be fine without me, you've got all your new friends there. I really wouldn't fit in. I'd be the only non-Cast mate. It would just be me sitting in a corner while everyone else has fun. I appreciate the offer, dude, but it's a no." I said softly, chewing my lip anxiously just thinking about the situation.

The more time I spent with him, the more likely it was for him to find out. 

On the other side of the phone there was quiet. Maybe he had finally given up? 

"Y/N/N, I wouldn't want to be there without you. You're my oldest and bestest friend, and I want to introduce you to my other friends so that all of my friends can be friends! I know for a fact you'd fit in. Josh will be there as well, so you won't be the only non-cast member! And if you end up sitting in a corner, I'll come sit with you. But, I guess, if you really don't want to go and it'd just going to make you uncomfortable, you don't have to come...." Finn said reassuringly. 

I pondered for a long moment, thinking through my options. 

Surely I could manage an hour or so... Just for Finn.. And he was right, we hasn't seen each other in ages, and I missed him so much. It was only one night, right? It wouldn't be that hard to act like the me that he knows, the one that was completely and utterly his platonic best friend... Right? 

"Fine. But only for you, asshole." I sighed. 

I heard a loud cheer from the phone, and laughed. 

Shit. What have I gotten myself into. 

"You weren't gonna give me the option to not go were you?" I asked, knowing the answer. 

"Nope. I was gonna keep bugging you." Finn said in a very happy voice. 

I simply laughed and wrote down the details of the party, not really listening. 

23rd. Finns house. Sleepover. Ugly Christmas sweater. 

"Okay, see you later, Finn" I said, wanting to get off the phone before ten minutes turned into two hours. 

"See ya, Y/N/N!" He responded. 

We hung up and I sighed, slowly sliding off the couch like a snake. My heart was pounding even from just hearing his voice.

I was screwed royally. 

Finns POV 

I put my phone down, letting out a sigh. I lean my head back against the couch and smile. 

It wasn't a great execution, but I got the intended end result, so that's all that matters. I sat up and opened my eyes to see the boys grinning at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes and nodded, sending them up into cheers. Nic and Wyatt both slapped my back in congratulation and Jaeden wiped away a fake tear. 

"Guys, it's not that big of a deal." I groaned, running my hands through my messy hair. 

I mean, it was a big deal, but I wasn't going to tell them that. I had to act normal. Might as well get some practice in at it before Y/N came over for the party. 

Chosen scoffed and looked at me with raised eyebrows. 

"Dude, you've been spending all morning freaking out and writing a script for what to say to her, just to invite her to your party, despite knowing each other since forever." He teased. 

"And when you finally actually called her you couldn't stop blushing, and stammering and biting your lip." Dustin piped up. 

"Oh, and when she agreed to come you cheered as if you won a gold medal at the Olympics." Caleb said nudging me. 

I could feel my face heat up but I just rolled my eyes. 

"Whatever" I muttered sheepishly, glad that they had finished attacking me. 

Sophia walked in then, having gone shopping with my mom for some 'much needed girl time'. 

She looked at all the boys surrounding me, the blush on my face and the phone beside me, and quickly realised what was happening. 

"Oh, and don't forget about how he never shut up about her on set." She teased, one hand on her hip, the other holding a Starbucks coffee. 

 I groaned and buried my face in my hands as they all went around the circle, saying something I had said or done that gave it away. 

Everyone except Millie and Sadie added something in, and that was only because they hadn't arrived yet. 

Soon, Josh was telling them stories about times I had made an idiot of myself in front of her, since the three of us used to spend a lot of time together. 

Eventually, when my face was as red as a fire truck, I spoke up. 

"Okay. Fine. You got me. I have massive fucking crush on my best friend, Y/N, but there's no point. She only likes me as a friend, barely even that I think. Besides, I don't want to ruin the friendship, so please don't mention it to her?" I sighed, giving up. 

Jaeden rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Took you long enough to admit it, dumbass." He said grinning. 

"And we won't tell her. Yet. We have to actually meet her first and see if she's right for you, then we'll think about telling her." Jeremy grinned, winking. 

Sophia plopped down onto a spare chair, sighing. 

"I just can't wait to be the only girl. I mean there's gonna be three other girls here. That's like three more than I'm used to" Sophia grinned, changing the subject, thank god. 

 "Speaking of, when does Millie and Sadies plane arrive? I wonder how their holiday was..." Noah asked, checking his watch. 

"9pm tonight," I replied nodding, looking at my own watch. 

It was only mom and I that went to pick up the girls, since we wouldn't all fit in a car, and needed space for their luggage. 

It gave me a good opportunity to think. 

How was I gonna greet Y/N? Should I play it cool? Or act like I used to when my feelings were purely platonic? Or should I go out on a limb and flirt with her? 

I decided on acting. I was good at acting, I could do that easy. Just act like I didn't get butterflies whenever I see or hear her, act as if the way she would grin at me expectantly after telling a shifty joke, didn't effect me at all. Act like I didn't care whether or not she noticed me. Act as if she didn't make me feel weak in the knees or make my heart flutter whenever she looked at me with her gorgeous eyes.... Act like I didn't want to kiss her on those cute lips of hers that seemed to draw my eyes in like a magnet. Easy. 

I sighed deeply, wiping my face with my hand as if this would wipe away my thoughts. 

My mom looked at me concerned, before turning her attention back to the road. 

"Are you okay, honey? That was a big sigh. Do you still want to have the party? It's not too late to cancel." She said, her voice thick with concern and love. 

I shook my head simply. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I still want to have the party, it's just..." I trailed off weakly. 

 "It's just, what? You can tell me, Finn, it's okay." She prompted. 

"It's just that I have this... This crush.. On this girl whose coming to the party, and I don't know how to act around her. I really, really like her, mom, but I don't want to ruin our friendship." I sighed, letting it all out. 

It felt good to vent. 

Mom smiled, quickly glancing at me. 

"And this girl, are we going to pick her up right now?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her. 

"No, mom." I glared at her. 

She nodded, slowly. 

“That Sophia is a very nice girl, Finn, and I think-" 

"It's not Sophia either." I mumbled, cutting her off. 

She gasped, her eyes widening. 

"You like Y/N! Oh, Finny! Aw, wait until I tell Y/M/N! We've been waiting for this since you were just kids!" She squealed uncharacteristically like a schoolgirl. 

My eyes widened in alarm. 

"Mom! No! Both Y/N and her mom are not finding out about this! And that's really weird." 

 She simply shrugged, and reached over to ruffle my hair. 

"Okay, Finny. I just think you two would be adorable together." 

I rolled my eyes and slumped into the seat of the car, wanting to melt into it. 

"Honey, just know that if your friendship is important enough to the both of you, even if she doesn't share the same feelings about you, as you do for her, your friendship will stay the same. It might be awkward at first, but she's not worth it if she can't keep the lifelong friendship you guys have, just because of a crush." Mom said calmly and reassuringly, smiling at me gently, "but something tells me that you guys will figure it all out." 

I nodded, smiling softly, hoping what she said was true. 

 Millie and Sadie both fell asleep in the car on the way home. 

The reunion between me and them must've taken up what little energy they had left after a long flight from London, where they had flown to from Mexico. 

 Millie and Sadie had run to meet us, and engulfed me and then my mom in a big hug each. 

When Millie gave me a hug, she whispered in my ear, "I can't wait to meet her." 

I had groaned, responding, "they told you already?" 

She had laughed and nodded, "texted me just as the plane landed." 

When Sadie had given me a hug that seemed to have way too much strength from someone her size, she whispered, "Sounds like you're head over heels from what I've heard, Finn." 

Unable to stop the blush, I just laughed nervously. 

She grinned at me before going over to give my mom a hug. 

“Thank you so much for letting us stay with you, Mrs. Wolfhard." I only just heard the girls say. 

I was too busy caught up in my own thoughts. 

Slowly, I walked to the car behind the others. 

Everyone, apart from Y/N -hopefully-, knew that I was crushing on her, hard. Would someone let it slip that I liked her? Or, more likely, would they hint at it very heavily until she caught on? Would she, then, laugh at me with everyone about how stupid I was? Would she- 

"Finn!" Mom said loudly and I snapped out of my thoughts. 

"Hmm?" 

"We're at the the car, sweetie." 

She gestured to the car, the girls in the backseat, giggling. 

I smiled sheepishly. 

"Oh, yeah, right, sorry." I said and jumped in the passenger seat. 

"Daydreaming about someone were we, Finny?" Millie teased as Sadie made kissy faces beside her, teasing me. 

I rolled my eyes and pulled the finger at them before focusing ahead. 

When we reached home, everyone else was asleep. I guess all of the reunions were going to be tomorrow morning. 

I showed the girls their bedroom where Sophia was already sound asleep and said goodnight, before retreating to my own room. 

I almost stepped on a snoring Jeremy, and Chosen muttered in his sleep, worrying me that I had woken him up. 

I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

There's part one! How was it? Good enough to make you want to read part two, hopefully! Let me know how I can improve etc!

[agrestenoir]

things i’m thankful for

so I know that thanksgiving has passed for me, but there were a few shoutouts I wanted to give to certain people who mean a lot to me, and I couldn’t go long without saying something. So here’s just a short list of some people I really appreciate.

To @agermanshepherdpatronus and @thatcrazybookwyrm: you guys mean the absolute world to me. You’ve been with me through thick and thin and are some of the best friends I could ever ask for. I know I’ve been MIA for the last couple of months as life picks up, but it’s thanks to you guys that I am where I am today. You’re so important to me, and I hope you know that. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. You two have changed my life forever, so now you’re gonna be stuck with me till the end, okay? I hope you get all the wonder and happiness you deserve because you guys have given me the world, and I want to give it you in return. Never change, and keep those hearts of gold always shining. I love you, Oz & MG. <3

To @nebulousrose (Honnah): I know you deactivated, baby, but you’re still a star in my sky, and I hope you know that. I always look back on our messages we’ve shared over the years and I hope you know how much you mean to me. At one point in time, you were the only person who could make me smile, and you always saw the best in me. Someday I hope I can become the person you always believed I was. <3 Love you, darling. I’ll see you on Facebook and Snapchat if I ever get my ass on there and be active.

To @perfectlyrose and @dimensionhoppingrose and @nottheopera and @skyler10fic and @tinyconfusion and @chocolatequeennk and SO MANY OTHER blogs and content creators. [This is Erin/atimelordswife, I just realized I posted this on the wrong blog]. I’ve followed a lot of you for years, and you’re all so wonderful and ridiculously talented. It’s been an absolute privilege to watch you all grow. And I KNOW there’s a bunch of people I’m forgetting because you fuckers keep changing your URLs and I can’t keep up. I’m a 22 year old college student in a long term relationship with her coffee cup, so please please bear with me. Regardless, I love you all and thank you for blessing me with your content and wonderful blogs. 

To @breeeliss: You’re too wonderful for words, and I am so happy I met you! You’re so accepting of me and so encouraging and supportive. You’re also god-spanking talented, like I can’t sometimes because I’m in awe of your skills? You’re one of the people I go to when I need to smile because you’re so fucking hilarious, and you’re so entertaining and fun to talk to. Like I’m so blessed that we’re friends? Thanks for putting up with me, Gabie <3 

To @stardusted: You’re another person I’m so happy I got to know. You keep me on my toes and always make me laugh. You are such a wonderful person and friend, and I am so appreciative of you. Also I know you’re gonna make it big someday with your raw talent and the passion you put in everything you do. You’re one of the best people I know, and I just want the best for you <3 Thanks for putting up with me too, darling! I know I can be a handful.

To @flusteredkeith: You are one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. You are always there to listen to me scream and your fics hurt me in such a good way. As a person, you always make me smile, and I love talking to you. The heart you put into your work and thoughts always shines through. You make me fall in love with things [Sheith], which is a very powerful tool. I just love your gusto for the things you love. You’re also so fucking supportive and there for me when I need it, and I just love, love talking to you. I’m so glad I know you, J <3 Thanks for everything!!!

To @miraculousstorytelling: CLAIRE, MY PASTRY, MY EASY-BAKE OVEN. You keep me on my toes, you make me laugh, your zest for life and your kindness and heart are just some of the most amazing things about you. I love your compliment wars, I love your writing because dear GOD do you have a tendency to break me, I love your passion and effort that you put into things. And your passion for people and you’re just... I love everything about you, Pastry Puff, and please never change. You’re always there for me, you’re so encouraging and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve ever done for me. You deserve the world, babe. <3 Thank you.

To @panda013: PANDABEAR. You are one of the most talented people I know, you’re so good at everything you do, like it’s not fair how good you are. You’re so hard working and your strength is a thing of beauty. I admire you in everything you do, how you approach life, and I know things can be rough at times, but I always know you’re gonna pull through and be wonderful. You’re destined for amazing things, Panda. I believe in you so much, and thank you for always being there for me <3 People like you give me a reason to smile!

To @ladyserendipitous: My muse, the story voice, O, the Mom of the Server. You are literally the voice of reason sometimes, and I hope you know how appreciative I am of you. You always make the best comments and are fucking hilarious, but you are also the realist I need to be because I have a tendency to be jump off walls a lot. You’re an anchor to a lot of people, and I really admire you. Plus you’re like super good at writing, and I love your work, and more people need to read them. Thank you for always being there, for having the best ideas, and just being awesome in general. I aspire to reach your level someday!

To @megatraven: You are the epitome of sunshine on a rainy day, the gold at the end of the rainbow, the world does not deserve you. You are literally the kindest person I have ever met, the most supportive and encouraging, and even though you can be a walking shitpost of your icons sometimes, all it does is make me throw my head back in laughter. You deserve the whole world, you deserve all the happiness. From treadmills to bees, from Melon Rodeo to Meggi, you are a shooting star. I love you, I adore you, thank you for everything <3 ALSO YOUR FUCKING WRITING KILL SME THANK YOU.

To @sadrien: What can I say about this incredibly talented person? Your stories give me life, your IRL stories give me life, you’re incredibly awesome in general. You’re so wonderful and kind, and I am so happy I met you. I wish you only the best because you deserve all of it, and just thank you so much for the laughter? The kindness because I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body? I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you, Tea, and keep being wonderful because the world needs more people like you! <3 Thanks for putting up with my dramatic ass.

To @zoenightstars: I know you don’t use Tumblr, but for when you ever come online and hopefully see this, just know that I love and appreciate you. Your passion for the things you do, your talent that knows no bounds, your smarts and snarkiness are things I struggle to keep up with. I know college applications are draining, but I firmly believe that you’re gonna go on to do great things. You’ve got the passion and the drive and will to go far, and I can’t wait to see where life takes you. Thanks for always being there to make me smile!

To @ninoirs: you are a bubbly, accident-prone smol that we all must protect. Literally, I don’t know how you’ve made it almost eighteen years. But like they say, the best things come in small packages, and Rey, you’re a blessing, honestly. Ridiculously talented, so bright and brilliant, and just so amazing at everything you do. You’re so supportive, so much fun, and thank you for putting up with me. You’re honestly so wonderful, Rey Rey. (And your boyfriend is cool too). 

To @amillionsmiles: I literally just started to get to know you, but you’re still incredibly talented. Also it’s kind of scary how good you are. I have always been a fan, and you fucking slay me with everything you do. You’re gonna do great things, I firmly believe that. Thanks for always breaking my heart and putting it back together <3

To @adribug: You’re too smart for words, too brilliant to measure, and your graphics fucking kill me, so thanks for that. You’re just a bubbly person, and your personality shines in everything you do. I love talking to you, you’re so much fun. Thank you for being awesome, thanks for dealing with me, and thanks for just being yourself. You’re amazing, and I know you’re gonna do awesome things <3

To @larvesta: the lady who can sometimes be my twin and who is so fucking talented that her art has legit made me cry. You are one of those people I couldn’t have been happier to meet, and you are so fucking amazing. Your talent knows no bounds, your kindness has no measure, and you are just so... ASKSDGHLGD That’s all I can say, Liv. Thank you for putting up with me, for your endless support, and for being so incredible. I love you ;3

To @miracujess: you’re a walking meme and shitpost. Like I can’t with you, Jess??? You’re fucking hilarious, so incredible, so entertaining and fun. Like I can depend on you to put a smile on my face when I need it, and to be so genuinely awesome that you make me cry. Thank you so much for everything. The world deserves more people like you who are the embodiment of sunshine. 

To everyone else at @mlfanfiction: you guys have become my second family, literally. You’re all so supportive and wonderful and fucking awesome. Thank you for putting up with me, for being there for me, for the support and encouragement. For being so talented and giving me people to look up too. To Erica, Teal, Rae, KC, Kiwi, Sarah, Maha (I can’t fucking remember your TUMBLR URLS SO IM GONNA GET YOU ALL IN VERSION 2.0; I’m sorry it’s literally 10:30 PM at night. I can’t be on top of everything now, especially when I’m on break from school). You guys are so fucking talented and I weep tears when I talk to you or read your stuff. Thanks for the laughs, for the snarks, for the kindness, for making the good days the absolute best. <3 

To everyone at @queermiraculous: thanks for giving me a place I can be myself. Thank you to all the people I’ve met, all the friends I’ve made, I’m too tired to list you cause there’s a fuck ton. You’re all so supportive and encouraging and fun, and I just wish you the best.

To everyone at the MLArtist server that @larvesta runs: You guys are so talented, so supportive and so encouraging. Thank you for giving me a place to learn and grow as an artist, and just for being some of the best people I’ve ever met.

To everyone I didn’t mention, thank you! If I’ve talked to you even once, you belong on this. But I’m a 22 year old college student married to her coffee cup, it’s 10:30 PM, and I’ve gone 26 hours without sleep. Please bear with me. Just thank you for everything, your support and encouragement, acceptance, talent, your passion, your strength, just everything. You all mean the world to me, and I can’t thank you enough.

Just thank you all my followers as well. <3 I don’t know how you got here, but you deserve so much. Thanks for putting up with me. <3

[pyrrthea]

I really have no excuse for this, I just wanted to see if I could brighten up the days of people who really brighten up mine

@crowndefiant cassie, you are literally my best friend in the entire world and i love you a lot. thank you so much for always being there for me, even when i probably didn’t deserve it, and for brightening up my day by literally just putting up with me. i love you so so much and you mean the entire world to me.  as for your writing, you already know i think it’s phenomenal. be it some dumb crack on this hell site, or your gorgeous novel that’s going to turn you into a new york times best selling author, you could write about a cardboard box and i would die for it <3 your dumb jokes, your kindness, your willingness to always be there for me by my side all makes me so happy to have you in my life, and i want you to know that i’m always going to be here for you no matter what.

@anorablespark josie!! you’re about 95% of the reason why this blog exists and probably why i still roleplay at all. you following me all the way back on p//bg was a shock because you seemed like such a high quality blogs and back then i was a total mess (i still am. that is beside the point). despite my total lack of confidence in any of my abilities, you were nothing but kind and caring to me in a time where i was considering giving up writing all together, and you made me a lot less nervous joining this fandom by introducing me to some of the most amazing people here that i love and admire, you are one of them. you’re nora is one of my favourite muses ever on this fucking hellsite, and even though we say we have to plot and we never do, what little we’ve done with nora and pyrrha’s relationship makes me smile, and your nora makes pyrrha smile a lot too. your backstory for her has so much though, love and care put into it, and i want you to know that i love it, and i love you, and all of your muses and headcanons. don’t forget that.

@starsetdiva maaaaaayyyy~ as someone who has tried, struggled, and failed to take a background character with like five lines of dialogue, and turn them into my own, let me tell you this, you have done a phenomenal job, with both neon and arslan. the care and effort into everything you do for your muses makes me so happy that there are people like you, who are willing to do all that for a character they love, and i respect you so so much for that. you’re always there to make me laugh, be it ooc or ic, and i’m glad we live in the land of fucked up timezones, because being able to see you on my dash, and talk to you, makes me so happy. i know how self-conscious you are about your writing, and i know exactly how you feel, but i want you to know that i genuinely love and enjoy all of your writing, and i would so so so so soooo love to write/plot with you some more, i just,,,, need to come up with some plot ideas <3 i’d follow you on any muse to the end of the fucking earth, and rest assured, i will always be around to icon whoever or whatever you need lmao

@mirrornium chloe, you’re pretty okay for someone who shits on my lawn. nO BUT REALLY, in all seriousness, i was really sad when you just sort of disappeared off my dash a while back, because you always made me laugh a lot with your drake bell icons buT NOW YOU AND YOUR DRAKE AND JOSH SHITPOSTING IS BACK AS WELL, and i could not be happier. we haven’t talked a lot one on one but everytime we speak, be in privately or in a group of people, you never fail to make me laugh until i’m in tears, and i couldn’t ask for anything more from you. 

@bloomess stELLA WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME. you’re literally the best, like god damn woman, you are so kind and funny and you’re always doing nice things for me and saying nice things to me, which i don’t???? deserve??????? like dang man what’d i do to deserve you, like, what the fuck. ad you!!!! put up with me sending you memes that make me think of you/ur ruby, who is the absolute cutest think i lov okay. i lov you, and uhhh i love ur ruby, and pyrr lovse rooby 2, her lil cowgirl gf yeehaw. wE HAVEN’T HAD A PROPER THREAD YET BUT UHH I RLLY WANT 2 WRITE WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE RUBY IT GIVES ME A REASON TO LIVE LIKE DAMN WOMAN. but yes i love you a lot and i would die 4 u but u already know that so okAY BYE NOW Y’ALL

@saecris meh.  NO I’M KIDDING I LIKE YOU A LOT MORE THAN JUST meh. you better full well know how much i love you and how much i love your ren. you are so kind and funny that it like genuinely confuses me like how is??? that possible like dang. i really really really enjoy talking to you ooc so much, and our ic interactions are a lot of fun too, even if it’s just pyrrha and ren acting like children and also that one time they were being nerds about books or something. speaking of, i love your ren. so so so sos os sosososoooos o soooooo sooooooo much. your headcanons and backstory are so well thought out and genuinely interesting and make me want to care about him so much more and i just  👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

@nctdamsel how and why do you even put up with me mack. you let me yell at you about greek fire and it means so much to me that you care about these two nerds as much as i do lmA O. all of your headcanons and oc’s are so well thought out and all the care and detail you put into them shines through and makes me smile. you’re always kind and sweet and just in general way too good to me???? i love all the cute threads we do together and it makes me so happy to see you on my dash, to talk to you, write with you, plot with you, waTCH YOUR FUCKING SNAPCHAT STORY I’M LOV U MAC K

@kingdommark helL O HUSBAND <3 we’ve known each other like what, two weeks and we’re already married. i haven’t known you for nearly as long as a lot of other people, but you’ve never been anything but kind and caring to me, and it really means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to talk to me and be a nice person???? and seeing you be a nice person to other people makes me so happy, because i think we both know that this website is a place filled with unnecessary toxicity, so to see people like you who are always doing their best to be kind is so heartwarming to me. obviously i don’t know shit about KH but your sora is a massive cutie who i love a lot and enjoy seeing on my dash so much, and you can bet your ass i cannot wait for sora/pyrrha interactions

@saintlyhilt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????? hello yes, shi did you know that you’re an absolute blessing and idk how we haven’t interacted much outside of crack/dash comm, because i’m pretty sure our first ooc interaction was just me telling you how thirsty i am for jaune so. i lov seeing u be gay on my dash and the rare times we talk make me happy because you’re so kind and caring and i don’t know if you know it but you never fail to make me smile all the gosh darn time, and i literally cannot thank you enough. your writing and headcanons for both sun and jaune are so well thought out, interesting, and so much fun to read. i just want you to know that you’re really important to me and i appreciate you a lot.

@adornedscars jhuwan, you may be one sassy fucking piece of shit, but you know what? i wouldn’t have it any other way, because you make me laugh and smile a lot, especially when i need it most, and our stupid running joke of fox calling pyrrha a bitch is one of my favourite stupid thing to happen on this blog. you’ve literally taken a character with nothing and made him your own in a way that literally just???? makes me forget that he doesn’t even have a canon fucking voice actor. you are one of the most important people i see on my dash, and one of the funniest too, and even though we don’t talk a lot, i’m glad we’re friends.

@baddrunkcharm hEY ASHE DID U KNOW THAT UR LIKE MY FAVOURITE QROW AND I’M LOV U AND THE WAY U WRITE SO MUCH AND U HAVE TO SHARE THOSE COOKIES WITH ME. no but seriously you’re another person who i just??? haven’t talked to a lot because i’m a nervous bean and you’re just super cool and i love your writing and characterization so fucking much man like dang. and!!! i super hope we can interact more, both ic and ooc, because!!! i’m going to fight you either way!!! but with hugs, and puppies, and love, because,,,, i love seeing you on my dash, and talking to you, and just knowing that you exist.

@miragesque heLLO YES WE HAVE LIKE NEVER SPOKEN BEFORE BUT LIKEDANG SEEING YOU ON MY DASH MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY DA N G. seeing how much you love and care about blake makes me so happy because i 101% absolutely know how you feel to be absolutely in love with your muse, and to see other people that just care so much makes me get all emotional, and it all really shows through in your writing because like????? you’re probably one of the most stand out blakes i’ve ever seen on this god forsaken hell site and it makes me all giddy and smiley and happy to see on my dash because you’re an amazing writer, and i am just a small bean, hoping that one day i’ll build up some more courage to sAY HE L L O.

[adventhero-blog1]

OBLIGATORY 666 FOLLOW FOREVER // BIAS LIST.

when i made my first blog last year, i never  ( in a million years ) would’ve guessed i’d ever accumulate this number of followers. ever. with my on and off activity, n’ mass shitposting, i’m surprised i ever even surpassed 100. way more important than numbers, though, are the people who i’ve met & interacted with here, and who have inspired me -- or encouraged me to stick around, when i wasn’t feeling it.  ™

i’ve said it countless times -- & i’ll say it when i’m on my deathbed : i love cloud strife. he was the first muse i wanted to pick up, but i decided against it because he was already such a popular character and muse. finally making this blog back in october of 2016 wasn’t a mistake. despite being painfully awkward, i’ve met a ton of people ; some i speak to regularly, and others  ( -- my bad )  not so much. 

all the same  ( gross )  i appreciate everyone sticking around. ffvii has been a part of my life quite literally since the year i was born, and having some means of conveying how much it ( -- & cloud ) means to me is pretty therapeutic, n’ relaxing. i won’t ramble much more, anyhow. i’m not gonna tag most everyone in the list below, obviously, but i’ll make some mentions. the usual stuff, right ?  cloud voice: let’s mosey.

PEOPLE I’D LET PUNCH ME.

@adventson ; realises the irony of putting your url first under that title. c a s. you’re an evil nerd, but you’re pretty great. it’s obvious by now that i’m not great at talking to people, but you’re one of few i talk to pretty much every day & things never feel awkward. we can just fling songs, images, videos, quotes, headcanons, etc, back and forth and it’s chill. you’re chill. not to mention we share a lot of similar opinions about things. cool. your headcanons and responses are always really great,, p.s. stop pushing me down stairs.

@jjillekkot ; you’ll probably be mentioned in anything like this i post ever. nina is one of the best beans i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. 10/10 yuffie, and genuinely great human ( bean ) being. you're always sorta ... there, when i don’t feel great. even if we don’t talk consistently, it’s a lot more than we used to. i appreciate you for checking in on me, and just appreciate you in general. yuffie & cloud are wholesome and so are u. we’ll find rufus’ weakness, eventually.

@akamure ; jake ... another evil one. you’re pretty great, though. even if you do dig away at my ( already tarnished ) reputation with pretty much every ask you send. your serious ic stuff is goals, too. i’ll probably follow you across every blog you make, even if it does end with cloud or noct getting harassed via asks. it’d feel weird not seeing you on the dash or having you send cracky posts & asks my way at least every week or so. sorry, i don’t make the rules.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@reinfouru // @cetrafleuris ; i can’t believe i didn’t know you were the blog that’d been following me for a long time, prior to you following me on your aqua. i’ve always appreciated that you liked a lot of stuff i put effort into, and ever since i started actually talking to you, i’ve appreciated you more-so. you’re a great friend and person ( -- if it’s ok to say that ) and it’s nice being able to talk at our own pace, i think. it’s really appreciated that you put up with my rambling. your writing is also a+.

@aheroesdeath ; i'm pretty sure you’re gone now, but i wanted to include you here because over the period of time between my last follow forever & now i’ve still probably talked to you ooc, n’ maybe even interacted with ic more than most people. i really did enjoy our interactions together, and it was always fun discussing the boys ™ with you. i hope you at least feel more chill off of tumblr.

@atlasbcrn || @makoblue ; yet another person who is gone, but i wanted to say i really appreciate just ... seeing you’re still about on the dash, even if it’s in a fandom i know ( -- literally ) nothing about. for what it’s worth, whenever i see you i hope you’re doing alright. the thing you sent on valentines day made my heart ache a lil, but it’s appreciated to know you still think of us.

REUNION.

@tacticalgunner // @heroicardour || @elyrean || @inartibus || @suntek || @lockethart || @infiniitas || @kaosureign || @thecxmmissioner || @argent-noir || @ivory-paragon || @tsengofshinra || @flowerprayer || @masterofellipsis || @lusterheart || @gallowsgrove || @cetrasguard || @fadxngmemcry || @soulcrux || @daisanokensha || @togovernwithdecorum || @wildcrcw || @gaiawing || @rapusodosu || @gun-arm || @bushidoxunsent || @dreamzanarkands || @regalrequiem || @unsentlaughter || @spiras-sunshine || @duciit || @insarys || @tiiamate || @daemonizing || @ofhammerhead || @armigeruser || @featherdicks || @andhonour || @ablackwing || @duskisms || @drexm-eater || @lockedfighter || @eternefiamme || @eternalfaction || @eruditorem || @rexcrystallis || @misplacedxheroics || @warofthebeasts || @ofrhapsodos || @blackmage-lulu || @blasteredged || @villiers || @scphiroth || @holybound || @akweh || @spectavisse || @skyvar || @deusuprema

ANXIOUS HEART.

@xkuja || @ibisangelus || @theancientflower || @redpupxiii || @invidiia || @flovverisms || @magitekelite || @leofatali || @aerneth || @cetraheir || @atcned || @sonofprodigy || @shiroganc || @respxrk || @ruckgrat || @grxvidus || @pxine || @finaltia || @raikogan || @achrvmatic || @boargored || @umbrxm || @loquistador || @phylxrchus || @oflucis || @skyblade || @ncbodymove || @sparkstryke || @townterror || @false-lucifer || @aeristheancient || @ofsilverguns || @jen-ova || @silvaer || @marleneiisms || @mammaterasu || @dcntgiveup || @rosegeneral || @isstarlight || @vainstruck || @voidnoh || @tailedthief || @feralstriike || @ffamran || @prcmising || @thalxssas || @diabolgod || @flava-proelium || @deityspoken || @fleurdange || @sxphiroth || @insomniis || @reminiscentiae || @hcllion || @buttonstrayed || @miragessplit || @churchflower || @grandspark

& THANK YOU.

not just to everybody listed, but to the billion people i inevitably missed out. i’m tired, forgive me hgjkl;

[kazuniarts]

Heyo

It’s been a while, I’m on a Christmas trip, so I’ll make this brief, yes, I’ve left Tumblr for good, do I plan to ever come back? Well, that’s a big maybe leaning on to a ‘no’.

I’ll only come back if Tumblr rescinds some of their nonsense they put down, they made it hard for content creators, not just the NSFW content creators, but you, me, and everyone else, Tumblr’s algorithm is extremely flawed.

I know I have some fans here, but I would strongly, STRONGLY urge you follow me either on my Twitter, https://twitter.com/kazuniarts

Or visit my discord server over at https://discord.gg/cdnnxFa

Now on a closing statement, did I really like Tumblr? Well, you can probably say yes, and no. I appreciated my five years here, I really did, but I also frankly, get annoyed when I put so much effort into something, only for those works to be outshadowed by super low-effort shitposts. Look, I geddit, mainstream tags brings in the big notes, but, this just isn’t the way content providers are noticed. It’s hard to work in an environment like Tumblr.

As of this post, I have noticed a big drop of followers from 216 to 203, I don’t know if its because I went dark, or the bots removed those blogs; either way, it doesn’t concern me any.

I love all of you guys, and if you guys want to keep using Tumblr, great; I’m really proud of the ones who continue to believe in this website in hopes that something will change soon, I hope it will too.

So until we meet again on this website, this is Kazuni signing off.

[shootfortherightreasons]

;; Ironically, like, I can’t even be too mad about Carl being written out now because when I saw Chandler at the nightclub the other day, it’s like... he seems a lot happier and having so much fun with his musical work now that it’s REALLY difficult to be upset that he’s not in TWD anymore. I mean, I’m naturally super bent about losing Carl, and I do agree with most people that it’s what took the entire show down (and what seems to be Andy’s final motivation to actually quit), but seeing the energy Chandler has right now and how much effort he puts into what he does, it’s really motivating.

I mean, he’s nineteen and acting, DJing, making music, entering game tournaments at massive things like E3 (in other words, gaming publicity and giving him a pathway to get into some kind of career on that front too if he ever wanted to), and he’s taken classes for psychology (AP no less) and wanted to go for sociology in college when he’s ready to go.

Like, seriously. He’s nineteen and that’s five fucking career paths that he already has open to him. Not only that, but he has so much fun with music and he’s doing something he loves without worrying about things like companies right now, because he’s in control of what he produces. He doesn’t just have a fanbase for playing Carl anymore. He has a loyal fanbase that just loves who he is as a person and people who want to follow him in his careers. They don’t do it because of just Carl. They do it because he’s just like he wanted to be - a normal person who happens to have a job in acting. He shitposts and jokes on the internet like anyone else and types like this generation, has silly replies to people, etc. He’s just another kid on the internet sometimes, and you know what? Yeah, that’s from acting as Carl. But you have internet personalities who get famous too just from things like YT videos.

It still breaks my heart that all that shit went down for him and knowing he was supposed to be there at least until he was 21, but also, the cast is filming right now, and he’d have to be there for that if he was still on. I wouldn’t have gotten to see him doing what he loves or being so cheerful, and he wouldn’t be on tour right now, and he wouldn’t be so focused on his own personal interests. I’m starting to think that it was hard for him for a while, but with time he’s really just accepted it and moved on and made the absolute best out of everything. Something about him is so positive and motivating and I’ve never once in my life seen someone like him. Nineteen, five career paths, very motivated and positive, and so incredibly genuine and respectful and polite.

I’m of course always going to write Carl as having survived that because the writing itself was just bullshit trash. I’ll always be against what happened and hell, I might have accepted it at least a bit if the writing wasn’t so pathetic and he was written out well (which I mean Chandler did certainly make the best of it with his acting, and that’s on the writing team for removing Carl so poorly and not making it matter more or mean more in a healthy storytelling way, i.e. don’t make the war about HIM when it was about being free of oppression and avenging all the people who the Saviors had killed up to that point). If he had a better reason for dying in the show, maybe I’d be able to come to terms with it. But again, that’s just it - it was the writing. It was never Chandler.

I don’t care if people say he’s a bad actor or sucks at DJing blah blah find something else to do with your life y’all. He’s having fun, he’s happy with his work, and that makes me happy. I’d rather he be happy and be able to be more proud of his work because the stuff he does is original. Acting is acting as something pre-written. What he does is purely his work and people are loving his original work. There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to make some sort of living for yourself out of your own work and people loving it. And believe me, his fanbase loves his work. Seeing his fans at the nightclub told me how much respect he has and how much people love seeing him in his own element. How much we, as his fans, are willing to support him because we enjoy him.

Losing Carl was a downer. Seeing Chandler having fun and having him around to inspire me is better than Carl being in the show. I won’t just say Carl’s a fictional character and he’s real, because while that’s true, Carl became a part of my life at an extremely bad point for me, and I connected so much to him and that saved me from all the worst times. That’s the hardest part of losing him on the show, because he’s not even my actual favorite; Daryl is. It’s more that I connect with Carl super personally, so it hurt me that much harder. The difference is that Chandler’s happiness and motivation in life makes me happier overall, and I can see him in person being like that - and I have.

I’m just really proud of Chandler, I love him, and I want to support his careers until I physically can’t anymore. I think it hurt a lot more losing Carl when Chandler just hadn’t seemed to come to terms with it (like how you could clearly tell he was avoiding some interviewer questions or how he seemed to space out in Talking Dead for episode nine, or how he just seemed to be faking a lot of his smiles about it back when it first aired), but I think he really has now and it’s a lot less of just having to say that in interviews and the like and more that he just really has been able to move on. Both the fact that he’s been able to move on helps me move on, and honestly, seeing TWD legit crash and burn with him gone is kind of satisfying in a way? To know a TV couldn’t make it because of drama and whatnot surrounding your (what is speculated because of his father’s post) firing must a least be a bit relieving in a way, and seeing how without him the show can’t hold itself together is like... look, it’s failing without you while you go on to do seriously great things.

I dunno man. I’m just happier for Chandler than I am upset about TWD. I mean, I am MASSIVELY upset about TWD and Carl and all, but that’s just outweighed by Chandler’s positivity. I don’t even normally go to nightclubs, but if Chandler is playing anywhere near me again, I’m gonna jump on it just as fast as I did this last time (i.e. I totally made the plans with my friend as SOON as I saw tickets).

I’m hoping he comes out with something physical for Eclipse, because I really want to have him sign something at a con for me that has to do with his music. I don’t know if anyone else would agree, but I think that’s a little more of a compliment to him personally in a way? Since Eclipse is fully his? Carl isn’t all his, but Eclipse is, is what I mean.

LOOK GUYS. I JUST. REALLY LOVE CHANDLER AND HE’S THE MOST INSPIRING PERSON ON THE GODDAMN PLANET FOR ME AND I SWEAR SOMETIMES THAT THAT BOY IS SUPERHUMAN LOOK AT HIM GO if you don’t like Chandler Riggs as a human being idc what you think about Carl or his acting IF YOU LEGITIMATELY DON’T LIKE CHANDLER RIGGS AS A PERSON THERE’S A DOOR WITH A REALLY BIG NEON FLASHING EXIT SIGN TO MY LIFE THAT YOU’RE FREE TO WALK OUT OF. :D

Just pls support Eclipse if you appreciate Chandler, go to his concerts, give him yer goddamn money, go see him at his table during cons, laugh at his shitposts, JUST MAKE EVERYTHING HE DOES WORTH IT BECAUSE HE IS WORTH IT.