#i hope y'all enjoy the bittersweet-ness :'))

[odoraful]

𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅, 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒔

being newly employed at wangshu inn has not been easy. when you're unable to conceal your emotions any longer, you call on xiao to comfort you in a time of need

content: xiao x gn!reader; hurt/comfort (but the ratio of hurt to comfort is like 60/40); established relationship; mentions of stress relating to work; xiao being very gentle; 2k

a/n: chat i miss him so much can someone call hoyoverse to get him back into the storyline :’( i wrote this in like one day because i was so overcome with emotion 🤧 so i apologise if there are any errors!

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It was no use. With each ragged inhale and exhale you took, your breathing just became shakier. What had Baizhu told you before? Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. Every gulp of air you took filled your lungs and burned your insides as you tried to hold it in. You coughed, expelling the air out, vision glazed by the tears welling in your eyes. Clutching your chest, you sank to the floor, using the bed to support your back. Fortunately, you made it to your room in Wangshu Inn, where the cumulative stress of the days and weeks that had formed cracks in your exterior had broken. Emotions finally flooded outwards like raging waters. 

The setting sun casted an orange glow in the room, basking the space in its warm light through the open door to the balcony. Though the heat on your skin provided some small measure of comfort, it wasn't nearly enough to dispel the numbness in your body.

You didn’t want to be here alone.

Your mind immediately drifted to one name. The one person who you could call, who had told you to call whenever you were in trouble. Night was quickly approaching. Perhaps he was already out on his patrol, or busy with other errands needed by the Yaksha. 

Selfish. That’s what your request felt like. But you needed him with you now. You would listen to his scolding about frivolous uses of his summons afterwards when your mind was less clouded. 

You uttered quietly. The word was spoken from just under your breath that you didn’t know if the name would even take hold in space. If the name would even reach his ears using whatever power the bond between the two of you had created. 

“Xiao.” 

In the instant the syllable left your lips, wisps of glowing green materialised at your side. In the millisecond following, Xiao appeared in the room, body poised for battle. Spear gripped in his palms, knuckles whitening, his head frantically whipped around the room in search of an answer to his question as he heard your call:

What man or creature had made the grave mistake of harming you? 

You looked up at him from where you were seated on the floor, his silhouette back lit by the sun. The tears that had filled your eyes rolled down your cheeks. Your mouth was parted, wanting to greet him but the words clogged up your throat. Instead, you offered a shaky smile. 

Not even bothering to disapparate his spear, it clattered to the ground as Xiao fell to his knees immediately, meeting at your level. 

His face was contorted with pain, as if he himself had been struck with a fatal blow. “Who did this to you?” He begged, holding your arm in desperation. 

Your heart twisted. You have never seen this expression on him, a mixture of fear and anger. Certainly not towards you, but towards your unseen assailant.

“I-I’m sorry,” you sniffed. It was all you could muster saying. 

Xiao shook his head. “Your apologies are unnecessary.” He said firmly, eyes trying to meet your shifting gaze. “Who hurt you?”

Gaining information was the utmost priority. He needed to know what had happened so he could protect you from whoever had threatened you. You wiped away the tears that stained your cheeks and at your nose which began to run.

“I’m not hurt physically.” Your pitch was too high as you spoke, a poor attempt at trying to keep the situation light. 

He blinked, confused. “But your voice…” His eyes darted around your body, looking for any visible signs of injury. 

You wrapped your arms around your knees, bowing your head. “I’m sorry for calling you.” 

Xiao leaned in closer to you, head tilted to try and meet your gaze. You buried your face into your knees.

“Your apologies are unnecessary,” he emphasised once again, tone softening. It was apparent there were no immediate signs of danger, but the situation was still unresolved. He decided to broaden his question: “What happened?”

You closed your eyes. Where should you begin? There wasn’t any specific event that caused this, but rather a build up of concealed feelings overtime. The fatigue caught up to you at this moment. Too tired to keep things together, to hold everything back.  

Slowly, you began to open up. Bits and pieces came out as you tried to recollect events in the past weeks. Things you have been holding back from your partner for a while now. You almost felt silly for telling him such trivial things. Mistakes that you continuously made at work, difficulties with customers, dealing with all the bureaucracy to reach the Liyue Qixing. Your voice cracked as you spoke, and you had to take some moments to even out your breathing and wipe away tears before you could continue. You didn’t look at Xiao, your eyes glued to the floorboards of the room.

He didn’t say anything, letting you speak freely wherever your thoughts led and listening closely.

Torturous. It was torturous for Xiao to see you like this and not be able to do anything. Worse than the weight of karmic debt he had shouldered for centuries. That same karmic debt had been lightened ever since you had gotten closer, and closer. Verr Goldet had been in charge of the introductions, seeing as you were the latest addition to the inn’s team, and Xiao was the inn’s long standing guest. He would never admit love at first sight, but your shy smile juxtaposed by your hearty laugh lingered in his head long after you had been dismissed to complete the day’s work. Overtime, your very presence soothed him. He questioned if he could do the same for you now. 

“You have been holding onto this for so long?” He asked, strain escaping in his voice. 

Every time you beamed at Xiao when he asked how your day was, it was all a cover-up. You didn’t want to put more of a burden on him on top of his responsibilities. 

You nodded, throat dried up from talking. 

Xiao moved to sit beside you. He rested his back on the bed, legs folded. Wielding weapons and fighting monsters was what he was undeniably skilled at, but he knew the subtleties of comforting someone were lost on him. He could not speak flowery words, or shower you with luxury like he’d seen some mortals do to their partner when they were feeling down. 

“I-Is there anything I can do to help?” 

If he couldn’t find his own way, he thought it best to ask you what you needed. You let out a choked sob hearing those words. Something so simple, yet so valuable.

Wordlessly, you grazed your finger against his hand, wanting to hold him. He turned his palm upwards in invitation. Your hand slipped into his, fitting perfectly in his grasp. Xiao was startled by how cold your touch was. 

“You’re freezing.” Concern laced his voice. “May I…” 

He turned his body around towards you, not crossing the space in-between just yet. He awaited your answer. You nodded frantically, needing him closer to you. Xiao released your hand before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you towards him. You automatically threw your own arms around his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His body was warm, so warm. He had probably been outside in Dihua Marsh in the afternoon, soaking up the sun. The stiffness in your body melted away. You inhaled and exhaled as deeply as you could, the pressure against your chest lifting.  You held him tighter, feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart that grounded you to this moment. 

“I thought you were going to be mad at me for calling you over nothing life threatening…” you murmured in his neck. It was close enough to his ear that he could hear.

He winced at your words. Him getting angry at you? Was that even possible for him? The fact that you thought you couldn’t call on him for any kind of help rocked him to his core. All the hardships you experienced were not unimportant to him. He knew that a thousand apologies would not be enough. He’d have to make sure you trusted him. 

“I promised I would come if you called.” He consoled, rubbing small circles into your back. “I am not someone who breaks promises so easily. Especially for you.” Those last words came out in a whisper, sending shivers down your spine. 

Xiao noticed the slight tremble in your body and realised sitting on a hardwood floor would not do at all. He slowly pulled away, just enough so he could see you, hoping that you would look back at him. 

“You should rest in bed.”  

Finally gaining the courage to meet his eyes, you found a tenderness in his gaze that was reserved only for you. Humming affirmatively, Xiao lifted you off the ground, an arm around your back and behind your knees. As he carried you up, you realised just how lightheaded you were. 

“Need to take…” your voice trailed off as you fumbled with the buttons of your outer clothing. 

He sat you up on the bed. Gently, he unlaced your shoes and set them on the floor. He unclasped the buttons of your outer dress and helped to pull it over your arms and head, taking great care not to hurt you. Peeling off the layers, the constriction eased further. For someone who proclaimed to be unaware of the nuances of mortal affection, when Xiao wasn’t thinking about what was the right or wrong thing to do, he seemed natural at it. Even the smallest gestures proved to be the right ones. He drew the covers over you as you laid a tired head on your pillow. 

Hesitantly, he swept some hair off your forehead that got tousled in the process of removing your clothes. You nuzzled into his touch. He held his breath. Hand stilled millimetres from your face. He continued to comb a hand through your hair and you softly sighed with content. Xiao made a mental note to himself to remember that you enjoyed when he played with your hair. Relaxing deeper, you found you could finally breathe properly. 

“Do not be afraid to speak to me. I will listen to anything you have to say,” he comforted. 

“Thank you.” You croaked, voice becoming lost. “And I’m sor-”

He shook his head. “Do not apologise, please.” His eyes pleaded with you. “I should be the one to apologise, for making you feel like you could not talk to me.” 

You opened your mouth to object, wanting to say that he was the very last person that should be apologising, but he continued, cutting off your sentence. Knowing how stubborn you were, perhaps he knew what you were about to say and didn’t want you to speak falsehoods, absolving his own responsibility in this. 

“You should save your strength. I will speak to Verr Goldet about your absence tomorrow so you can rest.” 

The argument you had fizzled out as the ache in your body set in, pushing you to slumber. Under the lull of Xiao’s hand combing through your hair, your eyes unconsciously drooped closed. 

You trusted him to stay by your side for the night, and he did. After you had fallen asleep, he went to close the door to the balcony to keep the cold air out. Bringing a wooden chair bedside, he observed the steady rise and fall of the covers. Disappointment at his own lack of awareness at what you were going through twinged within him. Past Xiao might have cowered at this feeling. Using this as an excuse for him to fall into recluse. But as he watched your peaceful form, illuminated by what little light remained outside, he silently thanked every Archon that you were safe and here with him. Tomorrow was a new day, a chance for him to ease your burdens. 

If you had been awake at that moment and seen the anguish in Xiao’s face, you would have cupped his cheeks and kissed him on the forehead. Your touch would be cold, but your lips warm and soft. You would have told him:

I called, and you came to protect me, like you always promised.

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