#i hope this doesnt sound like im trying to fight you anon im not

[bthump]

Hi, im new reading berserk and i just finished till the eclipse. I cant say i hate Griffith that much the way they hate him on other platforms like reddit for example, but do you consider him selfish by confirming to the sacrifice? I believe he has a choice eventho we knew for a fact that the other god hands manipulated the situation like his guilt for example. But the moment he saw Guts, is what made him finally sacrifice. I find that selfish and toxic in a way. I knew he has feelings, and i knew he was very hurt by him. And i knew he probably want to stop the pain. He lost everything when he left him, i feel like he is overflowing with resentment. Yet we all knew everything that has happened to him was his own fault, that he is just a victim of his own feelings. He went from sacrificing his life everytime Guts is in danger to him sacrificing Guts in the end. Tragic. I wonder what you think is on his mind when he saw Guts and said "only you made me forget my dream" yet he ended up sacrificing him. The way it was portrayed in the movie 2012 is quite sentimental, he doesnt sound angry. He even looks like he is smiling in the manga. Is he thinking if i cant have you, might as well die?

so glad to find your blog ^^ im the newbie that asked here before. haha i just added some questions. Now, im not really sure if he actually resented Guts that he finally chose to sacrifice. I thought he had forgiven him when he saw how Guts regretted it in the prison, but then we get the scene in the lake "ill never again forgive"

at first i thought his resentment towards Guts is what made him finally decided to sacrifice. But now, im confused again. maybe because of how they portrayed it (both in the movie and manga like ive said before). its like a freaking confession yet he ended up sacrificing him. Is he thinking if i cant have you, might as well die? Was he really angry at Guts that he chose to sacrifice? or is his guilt just too strong that he cant abandon his dream anymore? now im leaning more towards the last one, his guilt is just too strong and since he cant have Guts anymore, he might just as well die.

One thing that also confuses me is why didnt the God Hands used Griffth's feelings towards Guts to manipulate him. iirc they only used his guilt against him. they could have use his resentment or his love but nah.

I get a lot of anon asks but I think these are both you, right? I'm gonna put them both together and discuss my own take on Griffith's motivations for the Eclipse sacrifice in answer.

First though, glad you're getting into Berserk! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story (so far)!

Basically I think one of Griffith's motivations for making the sacrifice is ironically pretty selfless: he wants to achieve what thousands of people have died for. I mean if you boil down that motivation it comes down to guilt and self-loathing and being trapped in a neverending cycle of causing more deaths to try to justify previous deaths, but yk, in another story that would be portrayed as noble and admirable.

Imagine a hero leading a bunch of troops into a battle in which they're hopelessly outnumbered in order to attempt to achieve a goal everyone has dedicated their lives to. That could be a pretty inspiring climax to a different story. And it's functionally the same logic, and I think it fits in with a lot of the vibe of Berserk in which Miura takes common tropes and subverts them by showing the dark underbelly.

Noble ambition to create a better world - but it stems from self-loathing. Guts wants to be the very best swordsman like any shounen protag - but it's because he has low self-esteem and bought into Griffith's self-destructive life philosophy. Guts is a cool manly badass who slays monsters and has a giant sword and fights through broken bones - and it's largely because of childhood trauma and suicidal ideation. You know, that kind of vibe.

The Eclipse is kind of like the logical, dark endpoint of what happens when you dedicate your life to a (person with a) cause. Sometimes you do in fact die without ever seeing that goal. In a way I think the Eclipse is essentially a dark parallel for any given battle the Hawks fight under Griffith, because they believe in him. And for Griffith, it's a "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" kind of story.

But when it comes to Griffith's feelings towards Guts and how they were a factor in Griffith choosing to make the sacrifice, yeah I mean, I wouldn't exactly call it positive and healthy lol.

The way I read it, I think Griffith's love for Guts was his motivation much more than like anger or resentment. He did feel resentment because he loved Guts, because his love for Guts "made him weak" and ruined his life and made him forget his dream. But I think ultimately he sacrificed Guts less as like, a way to lash out at Guts or hurt Guts out of spite, and more to free himself from Guts as like, an anchor weighing him down and making him lose sight of his goals. I definitely think there is some spite there, some amount of 'fuck you for making me need you and then leaving me,' but I don't think it's his driving emotion, and I don't think it would've been enough to sacrifice Guts on its own. I think it's more horror and despair at how overwhelming and life-ruining his love for Guts is.

When Guts touches his shoulder and plunges him into the despair that opens the behelit, I think it's because Griffith is horrified over his own emotional weakness. The fact that despite everything, he still loves Guts.

And like I don't think Griffith could've personally killed Guts to escape those feelings - I mean just look at the parallels between Griffith initially trying to strangle him in the torture chamber before holding his hand, and Femto bringing up his hand to kill Guts before lowering it, and potentially Griffith losing the second duel and even calling Zodd off at the Hill of Swords and leaving without killing Guts in Elfhelm - but I think the Godhand set up the Eclipse to separate Guts and Griffith (hence why Griffith catching Guts and then Guts letting go of his hand and falling away was framed as an impactful moment) because Griffith could ask for Guts' death by proxy in a brief moment of certainty in a way he couldn't kill him himself.

So like, I think that's a watsonian reason why the Godhand didn't use Griffith's feelings towards Guts to manipulate him - Griffith's resolve to kill Guts is not strong. Guts does make Griffith forget his dream, even after everything, and the Godhand need to make him remember his dream. Playing up his relationship with Guts, even the miserable parts, could backfire.

They only use Guts in Griffith's vision to remind him that Guts told him to do whatever he has to do to achieve his dream and admonished him for wavering in his resolve, essentially justifying his own death for Griffith's cause.

I don't think reminding Griffith of how Guts hurt him would have the same impact, because Griffith doesn't really make the sacrifice out of anger. He makes it as a cumulation of the philosophy he (and the rest of the core Hawks) lived his entire life by.

Guts' death is necessary, not just because of how the rules of the sacrifice work, but because symbolically the act of sacrifice represents a rejection of relationships in favour of an obsession or dream or desire, because a significant theme of the story is emotionally healthy + healing relationships vs wallowing in bad coping mechanisms for trauma and becoming a monster. And the dream is a bad coping mechanism set at odds to Guts as a potentially healing relationship.

So narratively emphasizing the dream works best here too, because it's less about Griffith wanting to kill Guts and more about Griffith choosing that cycle of guilt over growing past it.

Anyway yeah, that's my take. Thanks for the ask!

[baby--b4t]

hey pookster i’m just leaving this here because I know you’d do justice if you ever made it into a minific :3

kaveh absolutely LOVES horror/creepy things, especially when regressed, but alhaitham can’t do it. like CANNOT.

sincerely, 🐠fishie anon :3

OH MY GODS ANON YOURE SAVING MY WRITERS BLOCK RN (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ) im gonna try and write a quick minific in hopes that itll make me wanna post more and work on my bots. ALSO TY FOR THINKING SO HIGHLY OF ME- i feel like my writing is mid but ill try my best for this silly idea (its super late as of replying to this so sorry if its a bit jumbled or doesnt make sense-)

(fic under cut)

Kaveh was supposed to be in bed hours ago. 5 hours and 38 minutes, to be persice. Alhaitham had been counting. He did everything he though would work to get Kaveh to finally lay down, close his eyes, and rest, but nothing was working. Warm bottle, bedtime stories (he had read 7 different stories at this point), and even trying different stuffed animals and pajamas. Nothing. Alhaitham was exhausted.

“Hayi? Do da tree birdies sleep? Wha’ about… Oh! Wha’ about da creepy crawlies in da kitchen?” Kaveh had been asking nonsense questions like these all night, part of the reason he was still awake at nearly 4 in the morning.

“I dont know, Kaveh. What I do know-… Wait, whats in the kitchen?” Alhaitham began to answer before he registered what kaveh had said. He sat up in the bed a little bit and looked down at Kaveh. “What did you just say is in the kitchen?”

“Da creepy crawlies!” Kaveh excitedly exclaimed, a wide smile forming behind his pacifier. “Dey have 6 leg, 3 eye- BIG eyes, and are really teeny tiny. Dey walk around in da dark and eat da bread! Dats why it has all da holes.” Kaveh started giggling, his tiredness clearly showing in his speech.

Alhaitham felt puzzeled. More than when he was trying to figure out why Kaveh wasnt sleeping yet. But what was getting to him the most was the though of some spider-like creatures crawling around in his food while he didnt look. He shuddered, the thought of bugs in general making him feel gross. He rubbed up and down his arms for a moment, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, before pressing further into this. Surely it was Kaveh just being silly… Right?

“How do you know this? Who told you about these… ‘Creepy crawlers’?” Alhaitham asked as he tried to fight the tiredness in his mind. This whole talk took a turn that was not helping his already fatigued state of mind.

“Dey told me! I got mad ‘cause my sandwich had holes, and I asked and dey told me.” Kaveh explained trough slurred giggles and mumbles. “Dey very small, so is easy to make holes. I scolded dem like you always do for da holes…” The more Kaveh explained, the more Alhaitham imagined a ton of ant-sized abominations crawling around their pantry. He shook his head and tried not to gag.

“Kaveh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ‘creepy crawlers’ arent real. You probably dreamt about them at some point.” Alhaitham tried to explain to Kaveh, but Kaveh didnt seem to want to believe it.

“What?!” He sat up in the bed with Alhaitham, jaw dropping and his pacifier almost falling out. “But.. But dat were so cute-“ He felt himself tearing up over the fact that the little creatures he thought were so adorable werent actually real. Alhaitham sighed, realizing that now he had to deal with a meltdown.

“How about you go to sleep so you can dream about them? Does that sound like a good idea?” He suggested as he tried to coax Kaveh into laying down again. The poor baby was so tired at this point he didnt realize that Alhaitham was moving him. It did seem to stop his oncoming waterworks, however.

Kaveh gave a small nod and snuggled back up with Alhaitham. It seemed like as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was in a deep sleep. That baffled Alhaitham. How in the world would Kaveh be so willing to dream about thousands- No, millions of little spiders in his food? If Alhaitham saw them, he would already have a match in hand to burn the house down.

However, Kavehs great big imagination never failed to impress Alhaitham. He just seemed to show it so much more whenever he regressed. A soft sigh came from Alhaitham, just accepting it. His little Kaveh would just have that sort of creepy imagination and he couldnt stop it… But he would still be checking the entire house for bugs when they woke up. No ‘creepy crawlers’ get to live rent free.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

"I cannot for the love of the gods come up with a theory on why Jk is ok with getting all this nice promo while Jimin got nothing". How about u try to change your solo perspective that makes u look at jimin like a victim all the time? Jimin GOT promotions, and a big one, money related. He had 2 mv that took a lot of budget and preparations: the 2 mv needed sets to be created, and SMFPT2 set was HUGE. He promoted at korean music shows, which too took a lot of money to build those giant sets. Yes, he did have a short promotion period, for reasons we dont know but my guess is that Suga needed to do his comeback because of the tour and i hate the person who came up with those dates but ok... We all know Face promotions got some biiiig problems and im still mad about it, we just dont know what really happened, but i'm sure jimin would fight back if he thought he was being mistreated. But to say that jm got zero promotions... nah

Face, Like Crazy and Seven r different projects, with different visions and different goals. Jimin wanted to tell his story of when he was going through a hard time, and he wanted to do it in korean, promoting more in Korea, with songs that, in the end, only him and people close to him know the meaning. Yet, he did AMAZING and made history (is still making). It seems to me that the #1 on hot100 was unexpected to the company and even jm, but yet they did provided to us 2 versions of Like Crazy, one of them being an eng. ver, and promoted at Jimmy Fallon... So maybe they still hoped that the song would do well internationally? (pdogg tho... he just KNEW face would be massive and destroy kpop). But Jungkook... i think that, for a long time now, he aims to achieve western recognition, way more than jm, and thats ok. So Seven obviously is a song to the US market, and all of us know that. The song is in english, is very pop, written and produced by an american guy that is responsable to other huge hits. It is made to be stuck in our heads, not to make us think about deep things. It is breaking and will break so many records just like LC, but the difference is that the success is THE GOAL (remember all of that Scooter posts on his ig?). Jimin wanted to tell his truth with Face, Jk wants to be closer to being a big pop star with Seven. So, of course Seven would get a different type of promotion.

And btw, just because the song is doing really good and is aiming to the US market, doesnt mean it is by having deals and paying for playing. Its the Jeon Jungkook, of BTS, we are talking about. Jk seems very happy and jimin seems happy for him. I dont think jimin would support jk if he thought he was doing wrong. He didnt post anything, but he did not post about L&R and Dreamers too. He supported jk with Dreamers by posting about his presentation at Qatar, and now he supported seven by going all the way to NYC to be with him.

All of this to say: Jimin is not a victim, he is a badass and he knows how to stand up for himself. When will you come out as a solo, btw? its getting old...

Hi anon,

When will you try thinking for once instead of being a parrot and writing what you've read in other blogs?

Your entire ask is wrong. I don't even know where to start.

YOU sound like a jjk solo or delusional jikooker or Jk biased jikooker.

But you know what? Call me a solo. I don't mind. Anyone who ever defends Jimin or loves Jimin is always called a solo. Why? Because no body else defends him or loves him like solos do. So, sure. Call me a solo.

First of all, we are talking about THE Park Jimin. Of BTS. That's who are talking about.

I'm done with people who, somehow for some delusional reason, think Jimin is inferior to Jungkook. You know nothing about Jimin if you think this.

I've NEVER said that Jimin got 0 promotions. I've been screaming (into the void, apparently) that Jimin only got 9 days of promo that were too hard on his body and had to wear it kt tape for weeks after. I've been screaming that the company is sabotaging him and it's true. People who actually know things about the company know this quite well too.

Take a look at everything and the sabotage is obvious. But look let's start here:

This same guy posts on DC gallery:

Yes, Jimin's promo costs money. But so did everyone's. How much do you think payola costs? That's much pricier than what Jimin's promo costs. And either way, Jimin was a return investment.

Not only did Jimin's place on the charts affect Hybe. It also affected other companies.

And right now the stock at Hybe at decreasing and foreign shareholders are selling to make it seem like Jk's position on the chart will have a bigger impact than it actually will:

Just watch.

You are proving me right with everything else:

So sure, let's sacrifice Jimin's promo time for Suga even though Suga was the one that postponed his album because it wasn't ready.

Jimin had 2 mvs. Suga had how many? And he had a whole tour too.

Jimin didn't have any visualizers. Jk had how many?

Jimin had 5 versions of Like Crazy. Jk has how many?

Jimin's Like Crazy cd was never stocked. Jk's has been stocked how many times?

You think Jimin doesn't want international recognition? Like Crazy was released in ENGLISH for a purpose.

After Jimin's no.1, if they wanted Like Crazy to succeed in the US market, they would have at least sent it to radio. This would have avoided freefall. They would have also shipped albums on time. They would have also informed us of the rule change for online sales instead of waiting until Suga's album was coming out.

It was the fans that were begging radio to play Like Crazy and the only way to play it was from the mv on YouTube:

There are so many things they could have done differently. They can still do them but they choose not to.

Did you see what was trending today?

Did you trend this, anon? Since you are so "mad about this"?

You think FACE wasn't created with success in mind? Pdogg came out and said it would break kpop because Pdogg knew what masterpiece FACE is.

You don't have to think deep with Like Crazy or any of the song...um just listen to them?

And don't be daft about Seven:

And other things. Search "Seven payola" on twitter and you will find it.

So yeah. You are wrong.

If you don't see it, that's because you choose to not see it.

Stop pretending that you "are still mad about it". You don't care about Jimin and only want him for your stupid ship and for him to be Jk's cheerleader.

Ah and he went to NYC for a work thing and to support Jungkook. But he hasn't posted a single thing about Seven. He did post about Dreamers and Left and Right. But no Seven.

You think Jimin only wanted those close to him to listen to his music and know the meaning? He spent 10 months working on this album, hours practicing choreography, dieting, for stupid fans like you to say things like these?

I don't even want to see when he releases new music, appears in stuff with Jungkook, or leaves for military service. All these fake fans will be crying and uwuing when they couldn't lift a finger for him during all this.

To those that try to send others on guilt trips because we defend Jimin or point out the injustices: Are you guys even streaming Seven and Like Crazy to "support them equally"?

At least taekookers have taekook playlists and streaming parties for Jk and Tae. I haven't seen a single playlist around here that has both Jk and Jimin. But yeah, you all are supporters of jikook.

You all come and try to send me on a guilt trip but you all are worse than me. For reals.

You don't deserve Jimin. You and all the people who keep saying all this bullshit because it fits their stupid theories and shipping fantasies don't deserve him.

Jimin deserves so much more than this.

So just stop. Don't come to my blog.

[thelasttime]

hey maddie im sorry if this is a lot but iv followed your blog for a while now its always felt like a very comforting space and just today after a week of trying to work through issues and them talking about issues theyre going through my closest friend told me that she doesnt want to be a close friend to me anymore, she said she has issues going on that she doesnt want to talk to anymore about but its just meant she feels like she cant be close with me anymore. i hope one day in the future we might be able to again but that wont be for a long while and it just sucks so much to lose such a close connection as that one you know? i dont know ive felt like your blog has been a bit of a safe and comforting space so i figured it might help a bit to talk about it here? but i also know this is a lot to put here suddenly so if it is you can just ignore and delete it, i understand that

hi anon!! thank you for being kind in my inbox and i'm happy to help you and talk to you about this. first, i'm really proud of you for putting yourself out there and working through issues week after week. i can't imagine what kind of toll that has on a person when they're trying their very best to keep a close friendship. it shows me that you're a person who really cares about their friendships and that you're a resilient person!! it also shows me that you're a good friend and you're trying

with that being said, it sounds like your friend is just not going to budge on the issues that you're having. you can do your best but friendship is a two-way street and you deserve someone who's going to put in their 100% to make a friendship work. it absolutely sucks to lose a close connection, but i do really believe that that you can't force a good friendship and that it happens naturally.

i've been in a similar situation where i kept trying and trying to make a good friendship happen and it was one of the most draining periods of my life. what i realized and what i hope you also may take away from this is that a good friendship isn't supposed to be draining. you might not have a 100% smooth friendship all the time but you're not supposed to feel like it's week after week of working on something. at some point, you just have to let it go and you know it's time to go (apologies for the taylor reference) (although actually you should go listen to that song because i think it's applicable in this situation)

you also might find that all that energy that you've now taken away from working on this friendship is something that you can now transfer to other friendships and yourself!! with this energy, take care of yourself and nurture your other important friendships. you deserve good friendship and you deserve a friendship that won't feel like you're fighting a losing battle.

i hope this helps !! giving you the biggest hug and all my love

[lexa-griffins]

I wish they had two options. I prefer binging shows. I forget a lot of things when I have to watch on a weekly basis. And shows who release weekly tend to take longer hiatus in the middle too. There’s less continuity. Show’s that release weekly also tend to try and make more episodes. So instead of the 10 episode formula there’s 20-25 episodes and to me that’s too long. Again, there’s more room for continuity errors.

To me, it’s more enjoyable when I can binge a 10-15 ep show in my own time. But I know that’s an unpopular opinion to have. So I wish there were two options. To binge or to not binge. I can always blacklist a tag until I’m able to watch the show. But I can’t keep up when I’ve gotta watch one episode and wait possibly one to four weeks later (depending on if there’s a hiatus or not) until I can see the next episode.

You technically have the two options. If I wanted to watch one episode a week or you want to wait until a season or a show is over to watch it all in one go, that's possible. But it's still not the same^tm for me.

I love the community in fandoms that's built around the collective watching of one episode and the excitement for the next one. I love finishing an episode and the next day waking up and rewatching specific scenes on youtube or if the episode is available already to go an re-watch it. Seeing the same scene re-gifted over and over again because everyone is so excited about it. To me continuity errors are like... minimal detail? Unless it's something obviously big and that affects the narrative and especially if the show has been running for some time, it's almost inevitable unless the show runners are really careful with those.

To give the an example with first kill - I was really excited to watch it. And then it came out - i had no idea it would come out that day - i already knew the beginning, middle and end of it by the end of the day and it wasn't long before we learned it was canceled. And I still haven't watched it because of that and while I still want to im in no rush at this point and by the time I do the fandom will probably be almost dead.

Everyone has different preferences when it comes to this but as someone who cannot keep up to date with things for the life of me, i end up not watching a lot of stuff because everything is consumed, talked about and forgotten in the span of few weeks to a month. I'm in the rwby fandom and we've been on a hiatus of the series going on 2 years now and i still go back to watch episodes and there's always content being made for it. I love the weekly liveblogs and the incoherent posts after every episode it, makes the fandom feel so alive and interactive to me, since fandom and the community around a show is a big reason of why I enjoy watching stuff. I wasn't raised on american shows and weekly updates really, I was raised with portuguese and brazillian telenovelas with daily episodes on week days where you'd go to school and talk about it and if you missed an episode you couldn't watch it anywhere (not until maybe a year later when it would repeat in the afternoon instead of after dinner) so you had to listen to it being re-told to you by the ones who watched it so you could watch the next one. I can barely discuss a show even in person because one friend hasn't seen it, another one is saving it for later, another one has finished and I might be taking it slow.

If I watch 10 episodes in one day then sure, I won't forget what happens from one episode to another but in a month's time I won't remember the show at all!

[yourlocallosernamedgreenookie]

hey im an old friend!!!! i love your art style so so so much!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!! Hello!!!! Old friend?? Oh!!!!I…. I really appreciate you saying this! Thank you so very much, my dear!! 💚💚💚!!!

[komoreangel]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 (𝐫𝐞𝐪)

pairings: childe and kaeya x f!reader (separate) 

scenario: your boyfriend knows you tend to be calm and reserved, and one can only imagine his surprise when he sees what you’re like on the battlefield. 

request: Can I request Childe and Kaeya with an s/o who is usually stoic and doesn't fight enemies much, but when they're fighting some treasure hoarders or hilichurls she loses control and becomes bloodthirsty for a fight?

reply: aa this is a really good idea anon props to you + ive been wanting more kaeya and childe works so i hope you enjoy this ^-^ 

childe 

childe knew you were calmer than most people

he didn’t mind it, in fact maybe even enjoyed it

you were one of the few people who could calm him down, too 

he had been reluctant to take you with him on missions before

but after hearing you had received a request to clear out some nearby hilichurl camps around liyue, he insisted on coming with you

to keep you safe, of course! who better than he, childe, the eleventh fatui harbin-

you shushed him in the middle of his monologue 

you went not today queen :D 

“hey, i was in the zone!” he exclaims

you would laugh if it wasnt for the situation you were in

“there’s a huge hilichurl camp over there.” you whisper 

he looks in the direction youre pointing to 

surprise surprise, a hilichurl camp

two mitachurls and maybe six to seven hilichurls

“okay, i’ll jump in from that roof, and you-” 

he looks back to notice you’re gone 

you’ve begun to sneak towards the camp

“y/n, waIT!” he whisper-screams 

before he knows it you’ve charged both mitachurls, and are 

singlehandedly holding them all off

okay he thinks thats kinda hot

but uhhhh 

you’re lowkey bodying them 

“go babe you’re doing great” type of beat 

before he can even do anything, all the hilichurls are on the ground 

but you keep attacking them 

like you’re still swinging your weapon around?

“get up.” you poke at the poor hilichurl who you’ve decided to challenge

“you’re not dead yet, get up!” 

i kinda feel bad for the hilichurl ngl 

you start to swing your sword at it, before you feel a hand hindering any further movement

“hey, you beat them, it’s over.” 

you turn to look and childe is holding you back 

he walks you over to a nearby tent (left by the hilichurls) and sits you down

“i’ll get you some water, just try to relax, okay?” 

you dont want to relax you want to go back out and show that hilichurl who’s boss-

before you can do that, however, childe is back with some water. 

“here. drink.” 

you reluctantly do so and feel yourself calming down 

“you feel better now?” 

you nod, regretting that you lost control a bit 

he puts a hand to your shoulder, rubbing it at an attempt of comforting you

he helps you up and kisses your forehead 

“try not to get too excited, okay? you might tire yourself out.” 

you two head back to liyue harbor, with him seeming lost in thought on the way back

you reminded him so much of himself right after...the abyss.  

he wanted you to know there’s nothing wrong with it...but that it can be dangerous to lose control in a fight

however he doesnt want to assume your situation

so he’ll just try his best to calm you down most of the time 

but if you think he isn’t going to tease you about it later

oh boy 

“my sweet y/n is capable of such violence!!” 

until you’re groaning in annoyance :P

kaeya 

you aren’t all that energetic 

kaeya knows that you’re quiet and don’t tend to talk much

and thats okay!

it makes it a lot more fun for him to flirt with you :) 

he likes seeing you flustered 

so he decides he’ll take you along on one of his assignments to clear out some treasure hoarders from mondstatd

send ‘em running back to liyue, (sorry ningguang) 

his plan was for you to be all impressed at seeing him absolutely wreck those thieves

as you two are approaching he pats you on the head 

“dont worry, y/n, no need to be scared~”

you roll your eyes and shove him 

he takes your hand and leads you behind him as you sneak closer

“stay here, alright? i don’t want you to get hurt.” he kisses your cheek and then dashes 

you can hear the sounds of fighting from where you stand and you’re itching to join in 

after you hear your boyfriend say “cool it!” for the 7439853th time you cant stand it anymore and surprise attack the treasure hoarders facing him 

“y/n! i thought i told you to-” 

“sorry darling, just couldn’t hold back anymore, you understand, right?” 

he’s kind of shocked

since when did you-

how did you-

???? is that like battle flirting ????? 

he doesnt know where your confidence came from but he’s into it

you take on three of the treasure hoarders that stepped towards you and in an instant they are on their backs, groaning 

kaeya chuckles to himself

who knew his lover was actually quite skilled in combat? 

he goes over to interrogate them on why they’ve come to mondstatd 

when he notices you haven’t put your sword away

in fact you’re almost about to kill one of them-

he places a hand on your shoulder, dragging you away from the poor guys 

“hey, we’re not here to kill anyone, okay?” 

you have a faraway look in your eyes, like you’re not completely there with him

“y/n?” he’s confused now

he cups your face and looks at you

“look, it’s okay, i’m here, everything’s fine alright?” you blink and stumble a bit

“are you okay?” 

you drop your sword, a bit disoriented 

“yeah, i’m fine! just, uh...need a minute.” 

you sit down and stare at the sky above you

relax, y/n.

you close your eyes and when you open them, kaeya is standing over you 

he helps you to stand up and takes you by the hand, leading you both back to mondstatd 

he’ll ask you about it someday 

but for now he’ll just be there for you 

maybe flirt with you about it later lol

like asking if you could pin him to the ground :) 

he will publicly simp for you there is no stopping him 

a/n: im sorry this took so long lolol i’ve been grinding for venti’s rerun! goodluck to all of you who are rolling for venti or childe (or both i admire your ambition jhkgnfdsgl) and enjoy this! to hu tao havers: congrats! 

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. you know whats also bad about the red eyes? not only do they look awful on persephone's pink color, they're not even a unique feature? like we've seen hades' eyes go red, we've seen eros' eyes go red, and ares' eyes are ALWAYS red, so even this idea its her "unique queenly trait" doesnt even hold up?? because we've seen it on other characters before?like at least the blue glowing eyes looked unique and even gave her a possessed, otherworldly look, something with the red eyes just dont have.

2. The faces in the latest ep (not fastpass).... Ew

3. I saw someone praise lore olympus art, specifically the ones where Apollo is playing his lyre and Daphne is covering her ears while her hair is split in two (yuck! Bad decision looks awful) so we can see Apollo, the one where she transforms into her hibernation state (weird perspective, chin and neck, I think, also what the hell was that supposed to be?) and the last one before cutting to Thanatos (which, I admit looks a little better that the other but I still got distracted Apollo's arm among other things).

Now, Rachel is a professional artist like 15-25 years older than me (I dunno her age) drawing one of the most liked webtoons.

I feel like I'm nitpicking or being too harsh or crazy because I think it is a little terrible and this person thinks it's amazing and I know art is subjective and all but like the difference of opinion is jarring. I am by no means a professional and my art leaves a lot to be desired and I guess I don't have incredibly high standards (or do I? I'm second guessing). Is it really that good?

Because I know that Smythe commits more than a few anatomy atrocities. I wanted to redraw a few panels two years ago and I noticed a few things that Don't Work Like That.

4. ok but that other anon is right. we shouldnt have to go off old tumblr asks or random tweets to understand what's going on and who the characters are. rachel doesnt realize you have to actually write whats going on, not putting the readers on a scavenger hunt trying to figure out what they're even reading.

5. im honestly surprised LO hasnt ruined more mother figures at this point. maybe maia will be next and depicted as neglectful and hermes is only the way he is because hes acting out to be noticed by her, maybe dione will slut shame aphrodite, who knows, the possibilities are endless when its about ruining every mother figure to prop persephone and hera up and to avoid giving the characters actual personalities that isnt dependent on mommy/daddy issues.

6. I hate the clothing choice for Daphne in run for your life. It felt like she was drawn in a sexualized manner when she shouldn’t have been because she was running away from a r*pist. Like she almost had a nip slip, we almost got her ass, it was like Rachel was trying to fit her butt and chest in a lot of the frames like some video game with the token woman character. Like if a different dress was choosen or how she made Daphne tie the dress, I just feel like Rachel can’t draw outside of pinup sexy that well. Like sexy is fine for sexy scenes but running away from a r*pist is not sexy. (I probably sounded really lame, but the way Rachel presents the story in a feminist way but can only draw one way in not even the same style is annoying)

7. Things I think would have been better for the story instead of focusing so much on HXP

-Expanding on Minthe’s and Hades beginning of their relationship (he couldn’t of fallen for her since she didn’t laugh at him and when she yelled at him said it’s not your fault but you have the hat I think that would have added to his character more to see him more than a 40 year old who hits on barely legal)

-Leto’s kidnapping of Demeter. Both we/are close with Hera, and probably know or each other or may have been friends. Like I wanna know how Leto kidnapped her but also how are they interacting since they probably know each other and Demeter probably had Hera’s back when Hera ended their friendship.

-Ares return to Aphrodite. We don’t get to see much of her character but we know this is something she’s wanted, but they way it was handled was so flat, We assume Aphrodite told Ares that his gf slept with his father to save their son but we don’t actual read any words between the couple. And then they’re living together. I wanna see how they actually interact and stay together like their better moments. Like how well did he settle in, did they talk about how long he left for or is he mad like come on that’s something interesting but I feel like RS can’t write outside of HXP

-the deal with Echo. Why do people think Echo could possibly be Hera’s gf if she’s her assistant. Yeah they do dirty work together BUT I didn’t get a wiff or sexual tension or anything. Was it that she was there with the doctor? It just seems like Hera is that CEO trope who has the assistant always by her now.

-a little more of Pysche and Aphrodite friendship. Like Pysche says Aphrodite is lonely (and we can assume a part of that is Ares) but also because she “doesn’t have many friends” so why not a solo scene of just the two of them being actual friends. Like what did Aphrodite say when she brought back a purple nymph that was gonna help them with their work.

-Hermes not talking about Persephone. I feel like that 99% of what his character is and then just a little bit of himbo. 

-Maybe Thantos and Minthe started flirting/hooking up. We’re they friends first or flirts first? Was it after Hades and Minthe got into a fight or something else? What did Thantos like about Minthe and what does she like about him? Why did she stay with Hades with Thantos was there (it’s not like she wanted to be queen of the underworld) How did Thantoas and Thetis meet and become friends? Idk if I was seeing two guys and one of them actually liked my friend I might consider leaving Hades for him. But again hades did have the power to control everything in Minthe’s life (job, home, everything) I do like Daphne and Thantos But I feel like the transition could have been better if we knew more, but again RS can only focus on one thing and that’s HXP.

------FP Spoiler/Mention------

8. FP SPOILERS— I’m done. I’m really done. We called it. We FKN called it. They got married behind the readers back, Demeter didn’t respond to the question as she actively avoided it and time was up, Apollo is somehow involved in the trial- THIS WHOLE THING IS A MESS AND IM TIRED OF HOPING THAT IT GETS BETTER. Four FKN years of this??? I’m done with this Webtoon even though I’m FKN stuck in it. I’m so FKN done.

9. Fast Pass spoiler (kinda) OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED THE POMEGRANATE PIN IS JUST PASTED ON EVERY FRAME, NOT EVEN RE DRAWN FOR PERSPECTIVE, NO, JUST COPIED AND PASTED, REGARDLESS THE OUTFIT ANGLE AND LIGHTING, IT'S HILARIOUS!!!I mean, I knew the art was decaying, but this just made me laugh out loud of how bad it looked.

10. persephone’s pomegranate pin just looks like a giant fly that landed on her and won’t leave LMAO

[suddencolds]

different anon here but omg im so happy you made a kaeya/albedo drabble.. could you write up a pt 2 where kaeya catches his cold? doesnt have to be long, anything would do if youd be so kind

😭 anon... please, have mercy. Reversed roles are my absolute ~weakness~, so just this once, I am here to deliver a fic that I didn’t spend like 300 years writing. (Thanks for the excuse to write these two!!)

[part 1] 

—

A few days pass before he sees Kaeya again.

Albedo is only at the headquarters to ask Lisa if she has any books on the medicinal uses of Liyue specialties. The meeting is a coincidence, all things considered. Kaeya is leading a group of Knights—new recruits, Albedo thinks, because he’s pretty sure those are new faces—back into the main hall.

“Captain,” one of the recruits is saying. “I’m sorry about today. I’ll do better next time.”

“Struggling with training?” Kaeya asks. “I hope you weren’t hurt.”

“I wasn’t. I just… I should have been able to dodge. Back up in Starfell Valley, when that hilichurl fired. It wasn’t hidden or anything, but I didn’t notice.”

Kaeya shakes his head. “It’s a lot to think about, right? That’s one of the tricky things about fighting with a close-range weapon. It’s not a bad thing to pay attention to whomever you’re clashing swords with. Just don’t forget to keep an eye out for enemies that are further out.”

“Got it,” the recruit says, solemn.

“Your swordsmanship has improved, though.” Kaeya adds, “I can tell you practiced. The new sword suits you.”

The recruit brightens visibly. “Thanks a lot, Captain.”

It’s not surprising, really—Kaeya has a strange talent for saying the right thing at the right time. He’s patient, too, and good at strategizing; all things considered, Albedo can’t think of someone more qualified to be training the Knights.

But Albedo isn’t here to watch. It just looks like their group is about to adjourn, and he figures he should really thank Kaeya for his help a few days ago—Kaeya is a fast learner, and an even better conversation partner. Had it not been for him, Albedo knows he would’ve been up on Dragonspine for much longer.

Currently, Kaeya is turning to address the entire group. He still hasn’t noticed Albedo’s presence, it seems.

“Great work today,” He says, then launches into a speech about strategy. It’s not a notable incident—or, it shouldn’t be—except the more he talks, the more Albedo can tell how tired he is. It’s subtle. It’s Kaeya—of course it’s subtle. But his posture looks deceptively casual—really, it looks like it’s taking all of his energy to keep himself presentable—and mid-speech, he’s actually stifling a yawn. His voice sounds slightly off, too, perhaps from overuse.

They’re all busy, Albedo knows. But he feels guilty nonetheless. He knows it had been Kaeya’s decision to help him, but still—perhaps it hadn’t been the best choice, seeing how much he still has to do.

“Captain Kaeya,” one of the other recruits interjects, after Kaeya finishes his speech. Most of the other Knights have already started to leave. “If you are free later, could I stay late to train with you today?”

And Kaeya—

—Kaeya, for some reason, hesitates. He shuts his eyes for just a second, as if he’s at war with himself, before he opens them again. This time, his smile is a little less effortless, a little more strained. “Of course. I need to get some paperwork filled out first, but I’ll meet you after.”

“Alright, thanks! I’ll wait for you outside?”

“Sure. I won’t be long.”

The recruit—oblivious to the fact that something’s wrong—turns to head towards the exit. Kaeya sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed. He really looks exhausted.

Albedo wants to call out to him. He’ll say thanks, and then he’ll get out of Kaeya’s way. But then Kaeya starts off towards Jean’s office—to pick up paperwork, presumably—and stops halfway down the hall, tensing, one hand hovering over his face—

“hiiH… hiiH’ESSCH’ew!”

It sounds… rough, and tired, as if he’s been doing that all day. He sniffles, shivering, and continues walking, and Albedo knows.

He feels bad immediately. Kaeya had been kind enough to help out—of course he had, he’s selfless like that—even though he must have been busy. Meanwhile, Albedo hadn’t thought to tell him to sit further away, hadn’t been careful enough about not touching what he’d touched, hadn’t stepped away when Kaeya had insisted on walking back with him, hadn’t protested when Kaeya had lent him his scarf for the walk back through Dragonspine’s freezing weather…

...All things considered, this is most certainly Albedo’s fault.

—

“I got it, Jean,” Kaeya says, taking the pile of paperwork from her desk.

“Take it easy,” she says. “You should go straight home after this.”

Kaeya smiles tiredly at her. “Oh? I thought you didn’t want me slacking off. I can do more today, really.”

Jean rolls her eyes. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing. Please, for the love of Barbatos, get some rest.”

Kaeya can’t say he feels very differently than Jean says he looks. Still, even if Jean won’t ask him to stick around, the new recruits will—he likes them, but they’re still new to combat, which makes things harder on him. In between scouting domains, looking out for the younger knights, and trying to cover for the mistakes they make, perhaps he’s pushed himself just a bit.

“It’s just a cold,” he says, turning as far away from her as possible to cough into his elbow. “No one’s ever taken off work for a cold.”

“For now it is,” Jean says. “I don’t want it to turn into something worse because you won’t rest.”

“It won’t. It’s just paperwork, right? I could do that in my sleep.” And one-on-one training with a recruit. And after that, another meeting with the Knights, and a domain East of here to scout out on his own, but Jean can find out about that later when she’s reading his reports.

It’s very unfortunate that he has to sneeze.

He takes another step away from her, lifting his hand to cover.

“hiIH’EESCH’-ew!” he winces. The sneeze is loud, and it sounds almost as miserable as he feels, which means it feels far too transparent. “Hiih… hIIH… snf… hiiih’IiDDZScsh’ew! hIIIH’EZSCHh’-iu! ugh… snf…”

“Bless you,” Jean says, sighing as she passes him the tissue box on her desk. He takes a generous handful of them and before handing it back. “You sound awful.”

Kaeya laughs, pocketing the tissues. “You never fail to flatter me, Acting Grandmaster.”

“Forgive me for being worried,” Jean says flatly. “At least tell me you’ll take care of yourself.” “Of course. When do I not?”

She gives him a significant look, which is fair.

He takes the chance to leave her office. His head hurts, more than it would if he’d just had a bit too much to drink, and it’s the kind of headache that he knows is going to get much, much worse if he doesn’t take it easy. Maybe if he rushes, he can get the paperwork done before then.

The recruit he’d spoken to is waiting for him outside, he recalls. He rubs his nose, shivering, and heads for the door.

Someone is waiting for him, but it’s not the person he expects.

Kaeya musters the energy to smile. “Albedo! Did you need something?” He probably shouldn’t be taking on additional responsibilities after Jean’s already told him to take him easy, but then again, this is Albedo—whatever he needs, it must be  worth staying late for.

“I just happened to be stopping by,” Albedo starts. “I, err, wanted to ask Lisa about my research.”

“I take it that you didn’t find what you needed?”

“I did.” “Is that so?” Kaeya says, faltering—if that’s the case, he’s not sure why Albedo is still here. “Were you waiting for me, then?”

It’s supposed to be a joke, except Albedo hesitates, and Kaeya feels bad for suggesting it.

“Actually, I was,” Albedo says, which is a surprise.

Kaeya’s breath has gone unsteady again, and he rubs his nose, sniffling. Albedo, who seems not to have noticed, keeps talking.

“I wanted to tell you—”

Kaeya doesn’t want to interrupt, but colds tend to make his sneezes so jarringly unavoidable. He turns away, lifting up a hand to shield his face. “Hiiih… hiih’EESCHh’ew!” He gasps, and with a muffled sniffle, presses his hand closer to his face. “HIIH… hiiIH’IIZSCHH-uu! hIIIH’NGKT-Sshew! snf…!”

—His shoulders untense as he finally lowers his hand, fishing through his pocket for tissues. How embarrassing, he thinks, blowing his nose as softly as he can. He doesn’t exactly want to look over to Albedo to see the expression on his face—disgust, probably, or worse, pity—

“I’m sorry,” Albedo says instead.

Kaeya’s glance snaps upwards in surprise. “What?” “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch this,” he frowns, looking away. “I wasn’t careful enough. I did not intend for you to feel miserable because of me.”

What is that supposed to mean? “This isn’t because of you.”

“Captain,” Albedo starts, completely serious. “Whose cold do you think you have?”

Kaeya blinks. It’s true—he’s probably caught this from Albedo, given that he can’t think of anyone else who’s been sick lately—but that doesn’t mean that Albedo should feel guilty over it. “Colds spread. It happens, it’s not your fault.”

“I should have been more careful,” Albedo shakes his head dejectedly. “Or perhaps I should not have accepted your help at all when you offered to stay. I knew you must have had a lot of work. It was selfish of me.”

“I told you, I wanted to help,” Kaeya insists.

Albedo sighs. “You are selfless to the extent that it is detrimental sometimes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I sent the recruit home, by the way. Really, you couldn’t have told him to wait a couple days?”

“He asked for my help.” Kaeya holds a hand up, veering away again. “I wasn’t going to deny him just because of… a… hiIH… c-cold… HIIih’EESSCHh’ew! HIIIH’GKTt!-shew!” His head throbs in protest, and he sniffles, tilting his head upwards, a fresh tissue in hand, in ticklish anticipation. “hiIIH… hiIIH’IIIZZSCH’ew!”

It takes everything in him not to slump against the wall.

“Bless you,” Albedo says. “You sound—”

“—awful?” He lowers the tissue with a laugh. “I know. Jean informed me.”

“I was going to say tired,” Albedo says, shifting forward to feel Kaeya’s forehead. His hand shifts to Kaeya’s cheek, studying him with a look of such intense concentration, Kaeya tries not to smile. “I don’t think you have a fever, but you’re warm. Allow me to walk you home?”

As enticing as the offer sounds, he shouldn’t. Everyone else is working hard—he knows if he does less work than usual, it will be Jean and Amber picking up the slack, which is the last thing he wants. “I still have lots to do.”

“It can wait until you’re well. The Knights will survive if you take a day off.” Albedo drops his hand, but he’s still looking at Kaeya with the same intensity. “I will talk to Jean, if it’s an issue.”

“Please don’t talk to Jean,” Kaeya says sheepishly. He’s sure she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to find out about his plans to stay and work late.

Albedo raises an eyebrow. “Will you listen to me, then?”

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, after all—he can head home, sleep this headache away, and come back in the evening. “Well,” he starts. “If… hiIIH… hiiIH’ESSCH’ew! snf-! If you insist…”

“I do.”

“...I guess I could head home early.”

It’s worth it, for the way Albedo smiles softly in response. He looks... relieved, Kaeya realizes, which is strange, too—he hadn’t expected Albedo to be so worried about him.

Kaeya starts off in the direction of his house. It’s not a long walk from the headquarters—certainly closer than the manor was, back when he’d lived there. Admittedly, it’s lonelier sometimes, living on his own.

Unexpectedly, Albedo follows him.

“You’re really walking me back,” Kaeya says, slightly disbelieving.

“Yes,” Albedo says. “Would you prefer if I didn’t?”

“It’s nice.” Kaeya sniffles, stifling a cough into a raised hand. “I hope you’re not just doing this because you feel bad about this.”

Albedo hums. “I’m not. I am quite free this afternoon, thanks to your help. I do feel bad, though.”

“Doing alchemy with you was the most exciting part of my week,” Kaeya says honestly, flashing him a grin. “I’d say it was worth catching a cold over.”

Albedo stares back at him. Then he smiles back, so brightly that Kaeya feels warmer, just looking at him. “You could come visit more often, then. I enjoy having company if it’s you.”

[fragileizywriting]

Hi izy! How are you?! I have a question!! In the rewrite, does adrien already knows for sure that luka is an angel or he just suspects it and is fishing for confirmation?! I love those little details you put in there, adrien making little comments and luka being like 😚✌️ and mari being like ????

hi!!!! how are you!!!!!!! i've been procrastinating on hw this morning even though i definitely shouldn't be!!!!

adrien is 99.9% sure in the rewrite!!! he's so sure!!!! he's connected the dots!!!! there's still a lot that adrien isn't sure of, like for example who he is (he hasn't seen his wings yet) or who he was (still no wings), but the things luka has said and the way he talks about gabriel and everytime adrien reads something about heaven luka is snorting and it's just suspicious.

luka hasn't said it yet, (and chapter five is in luka's pov so you'll see why he hasn't said it, and i hope people laugh because the reason he hasn't is so ridiculous and stupid that the moment i thought about it i couldn't stop laughing, plus, and it ties into this mini fic i have where alya finds out and luka is suddenly claustrophobic behind the bar because all of them, luka marinette nino alya and adrien— all five of them are in his space and he's casually pushing them one by one to the other side of the counter as alya is trying not to groan at the fact that there’s a First in her club) but until then, adrien is definitely waiting for the slipup. the confirmation.

marinette is going to have a lot (a lot!) of moments in this fic where she's right on the nose of it but doesn't even believe what she's saying because it sounds like a fairytale and adrien is cursing luka in his head in every single language he knows, kind of like

"god, you're such an angel, luka 🥰"

and adrien is looking at him like "you son of a bitch you better say yes to that, you better say yes to that, don't you fucking dare lie to her, don't you dare lie to marinette--"

and luka is just going to keep escaping the problem every. time.

i want to keep adding all of these little jabs in here because it's never actually talked about in DL itself, so this way, the reader knows what's being implied (because it kind of sprung up on everyone when i wrote the sequel!) but adrien is playing the long game right now.

you know what, i might even add the part where adrien does the same exact sex move to luka, that thing that luka does where he’s pressing into his shoulders until he's gasping, but then luka just DOESNT SAY ANYTHING afterwards and adrien is just sitting there like ARE YOU SERIOUS RN IM GONNA FIGHT which leads to more wrestling. this has been my ted talk.

now if you'll excuse me, i have a solidworks certification to study for uwu have a good friday, dear anon!!!!

[chocojjk]

Closet

“I thought of a scenario where s/o would be best friends with yangyang (but they both liked each other), one day they was in the dorm spying on kun and he ended up seeing you and to run from you guys locked yourself in your room, s /o pushed yangyang on door so that kun can’t open yangyang ended up being embarrassed for being so close to you, face to face. you can do it smut or fluff, whatever for me, love your writing 💚💚💚”

summary: bff! yangyang stuck in a closet with reader

warnings: suggestive but nothing actually happens, just a bunch of kissing

words: 1.5k

a/n: this was too long to be just a simple date scenario so now its this, not edited as always lol oops.

i hope this meets your expectations anon, enjoy reading! <3

you were chilling at the wayv dorms with your best friend yangyang

the two of you had plans to check out the new restaurant that opened nearby 

but after a very serious conversation 

well,,,

more like,, 

“im too lazy to go, do you just want to stay here and watch movies?”

“yeah”

you guys decided to do just that 

so when kun came home he definitely wasn’t aware of the fact that someone was there

his AirPods in his ears as he danced and sang along obnoxiously to bad alive 

you and yangyang peak through the door, trying to contain ur laughter as kun lets out massive hip thrusts

the man was feeling himself 

yangyang gently pulls you back, a mischievous smile on his face 

“you wanna spy on kun hyung?”

“hell yeah,” you agreed as you quietly cleaned up the room, removing any trace of evidence that the two of you were still in there 

and then yangyang opens his closet, “should we hide in here”

and you just smile at him because it was the perfect place to hide 

the paneled styled closet had holes on it which makes it very easy for the two of you to peek through 

and so you squeeze in there with your favorite brown haired boy 

smiles on your faces 

waiting for kun to enter his shared room with yangyang

after a while, you notice how close you actually were to the boy 

and with the way yangyang suddenly tensed up, you notice that he feels it too 

you guys might be the best of friends but you’ve never been THIS close to each other

your face was literally smushed into his chest so you had to turn your face sideways 

all it takes is for you two to turn at the exact same time and his lips would be on yours 

suddenly, the feelings that you’ve been hiding from the boy in front of you is bubbling up and you feel like you cant breathe 

“maybe this was a bad idea,” you whisper to yangyang as he furiously nods, wanting to get out of the cramped space as much as you do 

and as fast as possible 

but as you try to open the closet, it doesnt budge at all

“umm, yang?”

and he’s just like “oh fuck,” 

“what do you mean, oh fuck!?” you angrily whispered, still keeping as quiet as possible, afraid that kun will discover what was happening 

if kun were to catch you guys, you would be in big trouble 

he probably wont let you in the dorms anymore 

you know this because one time you and yangyang had a food fight in the kitchen and kun didnt let you back in for a month 

what more if he finds out that yall were spying on him?

and yangyang seems to think the same as he quietly whispered a, “i forgot but this closet only opens from the outside,” he admits, an apologetic smile on his face 

“what the fuck are we going to do then???”

“shhhh, y/n, we’ll wait for xiaojun to get home,”

“when is that?!!”

“idk maybe like in an hour?”

an hour

ONE FUCKING HOUR?!?!?

you feel like you were going to throw up 

and it was fucking hot in this closet 

but right as you were about to smack yangyangs shoulder the door opens and you stay as still as possible not even daring to make a sound 

kun enters, food in his hands, as he takes his seat in front of his computer 

he starts watching his own fancams and you and yangyang try to hold back your giggles every time he commented on how great or handsome he was BECAUSE HE IS AND HE SHOULD DO THAT !! I LOVE KUN

the music was loud seeming kun had his computer connected to his gigantic speakers 

being stuck inside the closet wasn’t as bad anymore now that you were distracted and focused on whatever kun was doing 

but that didnt last long because you suddenly started feeling something poking you 

at a very low area may i add

you turn to yangyang, your eyes wide as he tries his best to avoid your stare

“yang, somethings poking me,” you say quietly and he blushes

“im sorry!, i cant control it,” he whispers while you try to hide the smirk that was making its way unto your lips 

you dont know what to do but you definitely needed his dick to stop poking you where you want him the most 

and so you turn around as quietly as possible

but then 

“y/n,” yangyang whispers from behind you, sending shivers down your spine 

you cant believe this is happening right now 

with kun just a couple of feet away from you 

“you made it worse,” yangyang continues after not receiving an answer from you

“oh, im sorry,” you whisper back, quietly giggling, before facing him again 

“do not laugh at me!, i am a normal teenage boy and your hot how am i supposed to keep it down!! y-” he whispers, getting louder with every word

and now youre just nervous because kun might hear him

and so you shut yangyang up by doing the only thing you can think of 

you kissed him 

and as soon as your lips touched his, he didnt hesitate to kiss you back at all

the two of you moving in sync like this was always meant to happen

his hands that were awkwardly at his sides finally making its way around your waists, pulling you closer to him 

and you feel lightheaded because you can feel all of him yet it still wasn’t enough

but you weren’t about to have sex with your best friend 

especially not in his closet while his group mate was in the room 

and yangyang didnt want that either, you meant more to him than that 

kun gets up and exits the room 

you guys pull apart, just staring at each other, reality hitting the both of you like a ton of bricks 

“i cant believe that just happened,” yangyang says breaking the silence 

“do you regret it?” you ask him, afraid of the answer that you might hear 

“no,” he says honestly and you look up at him 

“do you?”

“no.”

yangyang turns your face to him, pressing a soft kiss on your lips

“i cant believe this is how im going to say this but y/n,,, i love you,, in a more than a best friend kind of a way,” he confesses 

and all you do is bring his face down to yours, kissing him again 

you just cant seem to get enough of each other 

“i love you too yang,, in a more than a best friend kind of way”

and even in this dark closet, you can see him smile brightly at you, the same smile that you’ve fallen in love with all these years

and you cant help but mirror his actions 

“so uhmm, do you want me to help you with that?” you tease him and as tempting as it sounds, yangyang scrunches his nose up, a look of disgust displayed on his face 

“no baby, i dont want the first time we touch each other to be in my closet,” he says giggling

but your heart just stops

“i like it when you call me baby,” you whisper, so close to his ear

and yangyang swears if xiaojun didnt enter the room at that moment, he would’ve gone back on what he said and just take you right there 

but xiaojun enters 

and you guys are just like

“xiaojun!!”

poor boy almost had a heart attack because where the hell was that coming from 

“am i dying??” he asks, looking around the room, his hands against his heart 

“xiaojun, you idiot were in the closet!” yangyang yells

“oh”

he opens the closet, “what are you guys doing??”

“nothing!” you say a little too quickly 

“we were spying on kun hyung,” yangyang adds to get rid of any suspicions because he knows damn well that xiaojun catches on quickly 

“okayy,” xiaojun says, eyeing the both of you suspiciously as he makes his way out of the room 

and you and yangyang just look at each other, eyes wide, amazed at how you guys got out of that situation without anyone noticing a single thing 

until 

a pillow was tossed into yangyangs lap while xiaojun runs away yelling “hide your boner before y/n realizes you have a crush on them!”

and that was enough to know that he knows 

realization hits yangyang, “oh god, they’re going to tease the hell out of me,” he says and all you do is laugh at his nervous rambling

“whatever at least im getting some now,” yangyang continues, reassuring himself that hes fine since all youre doing is giggling at him

“excuse me, but you havent “gotten” any,” you point out, eyebrows going up, a playful smile remaining on your lips 

“not yet,” he says smirking before locking his door and pulling you into his lap, finishing what the two of you started 

[pockcock]

hey zey!! first off, i just wanna say, thank you for making content despite the fact that english isnt your first language — its so hard to do and i could not even imagine what thats like, and i speak english as my first language and i barely get the words right half the time.

secondly to that anon, i get you were trying to word that as nicely as possible, but, it still sounds pretty rude lol. zey’s taking the time out of her day to think of a concept in another language and then translate that into something that isnt even remotely close to her native tongue — so to say “put some work into making things decent” is absolutely condescending, because if anything, zey’s doing so much more work than native english speaking writers do.

i hope this doesnt come across like im trying to start a fight with that anon or anything! i dont want you to feel like you have to private or with hold your works till they reach a point of “decentness” — your work is amazing especially considering the effort you put in 💞.

amanisinmyinboxamanisinmyinboxamanisinmyinboxohgodohgod

You're seriously one of the most talented writers I follow, Aman. Incredible thoughts, amazing skills and WOW. So I must thank you for making such incredible content <3 you're literally perfect and I adore you :') I love you <3

and thanK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT <3 I'm actually trying my best, working as much as I can (maybe not more than native speakers but I still try) and try to be even better each time. They don't understand this.. and it's not nice. So thank you so much for backing me up <3 I adore you and love you 💞💞

[freebooter4ever]

Ref anon: I hope you can get help for that pain. Maybe a nerve is pinched? I'm really not sure about my future. I have a lot of hobbies but just work a shit customer service job. Getting motivation to do drawing at all is difficult let alone animate. Which is a great mental state to be in when my only plan for my whole life since childhood was animation. 🤷‍♀️

its tendonitis and im pretty sure the only way to get rid of it is to take a break from working which is obviously not possible so just gonna ignore it till i die i guess \o/

so yeah you struck a cord with me, this got long...

i cant help with motivation, i have too much of it. i lived with my grandparents for a year while grandpa was sick, and it was the first time they'd ever really seen me /work/ and even they were shocked. it really is constant - if i have twenty minutes and im not using it to draw its wasted time, you know? my first roommate here in LA was concerned too - she kept trying to get me to stop working and go out and back then my excuse was i didnt have a job and no money for going out, but really im just like that all the time. i try to balance it with seeing friends and social media and everyday shit like eating food, but its hard, my favorite people are the ones who will just sit and work with me lol! (or going out and working in places im not alone and quiet). i guess what im saying is...if its really your passion, is it not there all the time? i only ask because it took me a long time to realize that although i loved to analyze animation and watch it - the way i process art doesnt quite have what it takes to do that. we all love the end product, but just because the animation part is the most front facing part...doesn't mean that's necessarily where your actual passion might lie...if that makes sense? there's SO MUCH to do in the animation industry, its crazy. for me, i finally realized that all my obsessive energy revolved around character and especially faces, and i just started focusing on that. i would much rather be concepting a wide variety of characters than spending a whole year animating about one minute of a two hour movie.

that said there's also the sad reality that some people have had doors open more easily than others. i feel you about being stuck in a retail job you feel wasted in :( im sorry you are in that position. i hope you are able to make a change, but i understand just how fucking /trapped/ that can be. watching life slip by into nothingness while the tiny snatches of meaning only happen during off hours and scraped together seconds of free time. one of the biggest ironies though is that this is how a lot of original animators felt about dsn*y. i mentioned that on my road trip i stayed with the son of an animator who worked on snow wh*te - he wasnt one of the 9 old men but he was their contemporary and friend, and the animator took the job just to make money off his art. animation just wasnt his full passion and he eventually quit, moved up north, and started experimenting with helicopters and boe*ng lol. 

and in reverse of that, as i grew up with a father and a grandfather who worked for boe*ng and the US space program, ALL my open doors were flight and space related - my cousin currently works for N A S A and my other cousin for boe*ng - they took the doors but i didnt want anything to do with it. it took years for my grandpa to finally come to terms with the fact that my passion for art was as strong as his passion for airplanes. he grew up a farm boy daydreaming about flying, and had to take a circuitous route to finally get there - army, college, mechanical engineering, finally rockets. he gave my dad and me all the chances grandpa would have wanted as a kid - my dad took them - i didnt want any of it. i would much rather have had those chances that the animator got.

and then of course there are the institutionalized gates - barriers against entry for women, minorities, LGBQT, people without money...its a LOT to fight against. which is of course why we celebrate the exceptional people who DO break through those barriers and succeed despite it all. but it can be demoralizing to be on the other side of those barriers. demoralizing is too soft a word. i dont think there is a word for how much it can hurt.

some wisdom that might help: randy pa*usch's last lecture - he is a white male who definitely does not understand the race/sex 'walls', but he makes good points, and also he came at the animation industry sideways for very similar reasons - through education and research rather than the traditional job promotion route. and then someone closer to my own age/time: justin scar*ed - i dont mean his road trip videos, i mean the old vlogs from 3-6 years ago when he was 31 divorced and depressed and realizing he had to release himself from his own pressure of his music career. his quest for positivity is an interesting concept, and i sympathized with that feeling of your life taking a direction you didnt chase after but somehow ends up being the thing you were actually looking for the entire time. if you want a success story there’s always my favorite: steve aok*. he went against everything that was set up for him in life and still made it work ^_^ (of course of these three, guess who also grew up the rich kid lol). or norman re*dus who quite literally accidentally became a model and successful actor. im paraphrasing this horribly, but my impression was that as a teenager he was selling shitty cat paintings on the streets of paris - which sounds romantic but miserable at the same time - and then followed a girl to california, got a crappy job in a motorcycle shop, went to a party and yelled at some people from a balcony, landed his first stage role...and eventually created the character of daryl and finally got the chance to have his genius really shine. (sometimes i wonder though, if it was frustrating to end up being famous for acting rather than art which was arguably his true passion?)

i hope any of this helps, i am pretty exhausted lately so apologies if my sentences are incomprehensible in some parts. and you know, my DMs on here are open if you want to talk more specifically off anon <3 

[mirclealignr]

Current WIP Requests!

Just showing y’all what’s to come!

And keeping myself organised so I don’t lose anything! Requests are still open! (And just so you know I accept more than just Remus and Sirius hahah)

Who I write for • Prompt List #1 • Prompt List #2 •

Remus x Reader requested by @emmaloo21 ~ REQUESTS ARE OPEN?!?!?! Oh my gosh, maybe a Remus Lupin x Reader, Marauders Era, where reader gets into a fight with a Slytherin or something gets severely injured due to a unfair attack? So he comes and visits her in the hospital wing?

Sirius x Reader requested by anon ~ Heyy could you please write a sirius x reader where Sirius lashes out and calls the reader unimportant and then the reader doesnt talk to him for a few weeks and sirius realises what he said and regrets it. Im sorry if this is too specific. I love your your work btw❤❤

Harry Potter

Harry x reader requested by @mischiefsemimanaged Hey, I’d love to be added to your tag list! Also have a request: a Harryxreader where y/n’s embarrassed about her surgery scars. I’m having another surgery Friday and I wish I had a Harry lol. No worries if you don’t have time, love your work! Thanks so much!!

Charlie x reader requested by @barry-blockman ~ can i request a Charlie Weasley x reader where they were best friends w mutual pining at hogwarts but did nothing about it but they reuinte at the quidditch world cup bc arthur invites the reader since they remain close w the weasleys?? and they get together after when the reader stays at the burrow or whatever you want really!!! thank you so much!!

Seveurs (golden era) x Order!reader requested by @purpledragonturtles ~ Could you write a adult! Severus x Order member!Reader one shot in which they argue with each other, both unaware that the other is flirting with them. I don't know why but I picture Snape as a teasing kind of flirter. Of course, please some fluff (and angst) at the end

Draco x reader (part 2) requested by @patton-fielder ~ Hey sweetie! Could I get a part 2 to that heart breaking Draco x Hufflepuff!Reader request I asked for? Using 2, 7, and 8 from the fluff section? (All of them said by Draco preferably as an apology) i love ya so much ♥ stay safe! - prompt list 1

James x Slytherin!reader requested by anon ~ Hey luv, just saw that your requests are open again YES! Maybe on with james where the reader is pureblood and Slytherin and they met at a gala or something, he invites her for a dance andddd i dont really know i trust your amazing talent eheh Sorry to bother thanks in advance xxx

Marauders x short!reader requested by @remibarnes22 ~ Hiya honey, can I request a short reader and marauders fic where they’re looking after her? Like against bullies and tall things. Good ol’ fluff ❤️❤️ thanks xxx

remus x reader requested by @screaming123 ~ Im a self indulgent slut so maybe a remus fic taking care of reader after a bad day? If requests are still open ofc Hope youre having a fantastic day/night/both! 💗

regulus x reader requested by anon ~ Fluff 6, misc 8 with regulus pls 👀 prompt list 1

draco x reader requested by @the--queen-of-hell ~ May I request 2 and 15 from the fluff prompts for draco x reader? Thanks in advance (if you need me to be more specific, I can send another ask!) 😊💖💕 prompt list 2

remus x reader requested by anon ~ remus x reader soulmate 4 (both emotional and physical with more emotional pain for reader)

weasley twin x reader requested by @dreamer821 ~ Soulmate 4 & 5 (or either really!) with one of the twins??? 🙈🧡 prompt list 2

charlie x reader requested by @barry-blockman ~ hey sweetie!! congrats on reaching your goal, its very well deserved!! can i please, if its not a problem, request fluff no. 7 w (you guessed it) charlie weasley?? thank you so much 🥰

fred x reader requested by anon ~ Can I request a Fred Weasley x reader where the reader is Angelina's twin sister and Fred and George flirt with them all the time? Thank you!

harry potter x reader requested by anon ~ Hello dear! Can I request a harry potter x reader where the reader is just like Lily Evans and everyone who knew her has a soft spot for her because she reminds them of Lily? Also the reader has been friends with Harry since first year and they are in love with each other and everyone low-key loves seeing them together because they remind them of James and Lily?this idea sounded cute in my mind. Have a good day/night 💕

james x reader requested by anon ~ Okay for the james one from prompt list 2 fluff 5 6 12 13 BEAUTIFUL CMON eheheh love you xx

george x reader requested by anon ~ can i request hufflepuff!reader secretly leaving a cookie/cupcake + a small note for the weasley twins and they love the gesture but fred/george especially adores it bc it reminds him of home then they try to find out who it is and date them 😉 thanks

sirius x reader requested by anon ~ Could you do a Sirius x Gryffindor girl. Mutual pining for years but both are too stubborn to admit it till their 6th year when James and Remus tease him into finally admitting it to her. He does something rlly big and public but soft to admit his feelings.

draco x hufflepuff!reader requested by @bforbroadway ~ Hey! Could I request a soulmate AU (the one where whatever you draw on yourself is in your soulmate) Draco x hufflepuff!reader, and Draco just constantly has little flowers and rainbows and cats and hearts, and just overall cuteness, all over his arms? Just really fluffy 💕 Only do it if you think it will be fun, and keep doing great!

neville x reader requested by anon ~ 2 things 1) ur epic 2) can i have a neville x reader where neville is the herbology professor and reader is the care of magical creatures professer? do what you would like, i just think that would be cool again, ur awseome Lena

Headcannon for remus x reader requested by anon ~ Hey girl 👋 can I ask for a headcanon ? Reader being in love with Remus Lupin but him falling in love with her twin (not identical ofcourse) and dating the twin . Thank you ! Sorry if you don’t like the ask, I’m a sucker for angst and hurt! fics

headcanon for marauders x reader requested by anon ~ heyy, are you taking hc requests? cause i think i'd be really nice a head canon of the marauders meeting reader's (who is a muggleborn) parents

headcanon for marauders x reader requested by anon ~ hey! can i get a headcanon of the marauders having a big fight w the reader (they are wrong, but they only realize later) and then apologizing, angst but fluff at the end?:))) thanks

Sherlock

moriarty x reader x mycroft requested by anon ~ Hiii!!! Can I please request a moriarty x reader x mycroft where reader is moriarty’s partner and she’s mad at moriarty for spending all of his time on his game with sherlock so she decides to play with mycroft to get moriarty’s attention?! Sorry if I couldn’t explain it properly english isn’t my first language! Thanksss!

Mycroft x reader requested by anon ~ What about Mycroft x reader misc. 13? prompt list 1

Marvel

Steve x Avenger!reader requested by ~ @kitkatkl ~ Oooh, are your requests back open? If so, I'd like to request a Steve x avenger!reader where they like each other and the team orchestrates a game like truth or dare to make the reader admit it in some way (because I doubt steve would be down for t/d id he cant even get drunk. If you do do it, you can decide what's the truth/dare that makes them admit their feelings. 💙💙❤💙💙❤

loki x reader requested by anon ~ “Don’t go” as well as “We aren’t meant to be” and “It’s for your own good” with Loki? Maybe ending in fluff somehow? ~ prompt list 1

loki x reader requested by @mojofun ~ So can I ask a soulmate prompt for Loki? (The prompt about the mark)

Undecided Character

Good afternoon darling, May I request fluff 2, 5 and soulmates 1? I hope that's not too much 😅 For the character: your pick 😊 Thank you so much 💕💓 💗 (thehumanistsdiary)

What if, hear me out, “Why can’t I stop crying?” from the first prompt list, and “I let you hurt me because I thought you would hurt less” from the second? For either Draco or Severus? (anon)

requested by @thehumanistsdiary ~ Good afternoon darling, May I request fluff 2, 5 and soulmates 1? I hope that's not too much 😅 For the character: your pick 😊 Thank you so much 💕💓 💗 ~ prompt list 2

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[avenger-hawk]

Hawk, chronic mental illness is hard to deal with. But whats harder is that my mother doesnt try to understand the struggles I have because of it. She says I never try to get better and that im difficult and negative and that i never listen and that i was no longer the smiling child she thought i was. I wished she tried to understand how second nature these symptoms are and that i try. Idk if youd reply but mssg you like this is comforting. I wished I knew you. Thanks for reading, if u did :)

Thank you Anon and I’m sorry for this, probably your mother never had experience of depression so she doesn’t get it and she thinks that you should ‘try’ being different...I imagine how hard it can be. I hope you live in a country where moving out for college or smth is easy, and if you don’t I’m very sorry.

I hope you can have your own space, in your room, in silence or listening to music you like. Something I tried (and that worked, not always but often) is to write every night before I went to bed, something positive happened during the day, no matter how little. It might you give you a little ‘spark’ and help you see that not everything is horrible. Which might help you with your mother.

But ofc we are all different and we all deal with depression differently. I was never the type to stay in bed all day for example, if I were my mother would have not tolerated it and I would have been in conflict with her, instead being active (or pretending to) with small things even, was helpful.

Do you have a pet? Or do you have a possibility to have one? Pets can’t cure your mental illness ofc but they give you distraction and unconditional love which is much more than people can do tbh. Can you take a walk and see nature? Like a park or smth? Nature helps a lot too. And parents are less unpleasant if they see you going out a little.

A little something to make your mother be less judgemental to you: help her with some chores, it doesn’t have to be much, but maybe if you keep your space in order and ask her if she needs help with, say, laundry or other things she’ll see it positively and will be more lenient when you feel bad, even more understanding, maybe.

Also, maybe your mother has stuff to deal with too, as adults with a family usually have to suck it up and go on with their duties, so they often become less sensitive and empathic. If this is the case you might consider that you’re not the only one in the house, that others have issues too even though they’re different in how they deal with them. Depression makes people self-centered and sometimes it’s very irritating for others, and I see online so much glorification of this that is ridiculous, it makes people sound like spoiled children even if they are 20+ and it makes me not take them seriously, cause idk, I think that people who suffer can either become more sensitive to everyone else’s suffering, or total assholes. But those posts case is not even the second one, it’s just fake whining from first world middle class kids. I don’t think that it’s your case but still, these posts can be misleading.

Let’s not forget that the world doesn’t revolve around us. And tbh it doesn’t care if you are depressed, if you can’t function properly or whatever. It doesn’t revolve around us but we revolve around ourselves and around the world as well. It’s up to us to fight (and sometimes little things feel like fighting), to stay in the sidelines and gather our strength for later (which is ok too!) or something else entirely. As long as we know where we stand, what we can and can’t do, what we'll try to do, what we would like to do when we’ll be better, what we can do to feel less shitty. Try to think about all this without feeling guilty if you can’t achieve anything positive, but just knowing yourself.

I hope these things I wrote make sense to you~