#i hope this actually helped someone though

[gothicfied]

Hey, i love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a Dae-ho fic where the reader is apart of his group (with gi-hun and stuff) but used to date Thanos, who is trying to win her back. She asks the boys to help stop her from going back to him cause she can;' help but want to. Later dae ho asks why she dated thanos cause he was toxic and she admits she feels she doesn't deserve better. Dae ho confesses and promises that he will give her better. I don't know if this makes sense, but thanks :)

Why can't I let go? - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388

Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x fem!reader (maybe slight Thanos x reader)

Summary: Seeing your ex months after your break up made you question things again, but Dae-ho gave you a reason not to go back to him.

Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)

Word count: ~ 1.6k

A/N: hi and thank you sm!! I hope this comes close to what you had in mind (:

What made being in this slaughter house even worse for you, besides the fact that you had to worry about dying every few seconds, was the fact that your literal ex boyfriend somehow also ended up here. Well, actually, you knew exactly why Thanos, as he liked to call himself now, entered the games as well — Not only did he basically bankrupt himself with investing in that stupid crypto currency, no, he took most of your savings too and created unnecessary money problems for you. That was obviously the break-up-reason, although he just wasn't the best boyfriend over all.

His presence already pissed you off when spotting him in the crowd after initially waking up in that uncomfortable bunk bed. Thanos only spotted you when walking up the weird, colorful stairs to the first game. Pushing other players to the side, he made his way up to you and tapped you on the shoulder, non-stop apologizing for what he had done to you. It has been like that since you broke things off with him, but you made the effort to block him on everything and simply not answer the door when he came by every now and then to win you back.

Thanos was annoying and dangerous, as it showed itself in Red-Light-Green-Light. Not only was he a junkie, he was also seemingly ready to sacrifice the life of other people for his own benefit. At first, when Player 456 yelled out that everyone who got 'disqualified' would essentially get shot, you didn't want to believe him. Even Thanos leaned over to you, much to your annoyance, and said "What the fuck is this guy on?". He's one to talk, huh. In the end, when Player 456 was right, you immediately took his advice and voted 'X' during the first voting.

"Thanks for saving us back there." you said to Player 456, hesitantly approaching him and his friend, Player 390. They introduced themselves as Gi-hun and Jung-bae, inviting you to sit down and eat with them. A few moments later another young man dropped down from his bed and agreed with you, also claiming that how Gi-hun acted was heroic. "Why'd you vote like that then?" you asked Dae-ho after he sat down next to you, pointing at the blue badge upon his chest. "Ah, you know," feeling like he got caught, he kept looking away from your eyes, "the money now is not nearly enough to pay off my debts. But, don't worry, I'll definitely vote different next time!" You guys continued talking and even laughing a bit, telling each other about your life outside of here.

You, alongside Jung-bae, found out that he was a marine. Both were actually, immediately finding common ground. Watching them joke around with each other, you couldn't help but smile — Which stopped as soon as you looked to the other side, to the people who voted 'O', and spotted Thanos staring at you. He was clearly not happy with how you voted or the fact that another man made you laugh, even though you only met him a few minutes ago. That's just how Thanos is, you feared: always jealous about someone, worried you're going to cheat on him, but would then flirt with his female fans in the same breath. He always claimed it was because they were his fans and they loved to feel like he was reachable, but that was never a justification for you.

For some reason, that you didn't pay attention to, a little fight between the two sides broke out, and Thanos thought this was the best time to drag you away from all that and talk with you. You saw him stand up and approach you, to which you already shook your head, but when he grabbed your arm and just took you with him, you couldn't do much. "Why would you do that?" he asked you, his eyes staring into yours. "What? What did I do now? Can't you just leave me alone?" You crossed your arms in front if your chest and just looked down at your feet, because, if you were being honest with yourself, when your ex boyfriend looked at you like that.. it kind of did something to you. Perhaps regret your decision.

"Baby, seriously?"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Come on, I know you love it, princess.."

"Get to the point."

You were annoyed, agitated, but somehow still wanted to hear what he had to say. Thanos huffed, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why did you vote like that? If we play just two more games, we could pay off our debts and maybe.. try again?" He grabbed you by your shoulders, shaking you a little so you'd look up at him again. When that didn't work, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tried to pull you close, but that was your breaking point. Forcefully, you ripped yourself out of his grasp and started walking back to your group again: "Don't even start with that. You ruined my life."

In a twisted way, you felt bad. His proposal almost, almost, made you give in. It was just nice to see a familiar face and hear a familiar voice in this environment, it brought you comfort to know that there was someone you shared so many special memories with that you could turn to. And, you would, just if it wasn't Choi Su-bong. "Is everything okay? Was he giving you trouble?" Jung-bae asked, looking like he was ready to fight him. Actually, he was probably ready to fight everyone who voted 'O'. "No.. no, I'm okay." Without another word you sat back down next to Dae-ho, picking away at your fingernails.

"Who is he?"

"What?"

"That guy.. who is he?"

"To me? My ex boyfriend."

The man let out an 'aha', just nodding along. When he looked at Thanos and then back to you, he couldn't really believe it — That purple-haired guy was almost the complete opposite of you. You were pretty, seemed to be kind and gentle and Thanos was just kind of.. Dae-ho would say you're way out of his league. "If he's bothering you, just tell me, okay? I'll take care of it." You looked at the former marine, giving him a smile when noticing that he was serious about that. You thanked him quickly and looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly.

After surviving the second game together, Dae-ho and you have gotten closer incredibly fast. He was mesmerized by you, to say the least, and you appreciated that you had someone to rely on at all times. That still didn't stop Thanos from perusing you, though, it actually was the complete opposite. A few minutes before lights out he tried to talk to you again, following you to your bed, which was right behind Dae-ho's. The two of you slept head to head together, only a metal bar separating the beds.

"Please.. just listen to me! I miss you.. I swear, I'll vote 'X' the next time!" Thanos' annoying voice rang through your ears and no matter how often you told him to leave you alone, he didn't want to understand it. At some point he got annoyed and just walked off himself, sighing and planning to try again next day. With a quiet groan, you let your head fall back against your pillow, Dae-ho watching you the whole time from his side. He felt like it wasn't his place to continue to ask you about the situation when you didn't bring it up yourself, but he was still curios as to why you'd ever be with that guy.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need me to say something to him next time?"

"No.. It's fine, I can handle it. It's just- complicated, that's all." You were tired, your mind was reeling — People dying was stressful enough and now you had to handle your immature and manipulative ex boyfriend as well. "You don't have to answer this but," Dae-ho tucked some of his hair behind his ears, sitting up so he could properly look at you, "why did you date him? You're too good for him." His little comment made you chuckle, even though he was right and it probably wasn't all that funny. "I don't know.. to be honest, at that time I just felt like I didn't deserve any better."

Dae-ho was appalled by your words, his face scrunching up. How could you even talk about yourself like that? "You do deserve better. You deserve the world." His tone wasn't angry, but definitely a lot firmer than before, showing you that he actually meant what he said. "What?" you asked him, also slowly sitting up now. "I'm serious, you're kind and smart and deserve a better life, a better boyfriend." His words made your heart beat a little faster.

"He doesn't deserve you. I would treat you be-" As soon as Dae-ho noticed what he just said himself, he immediately stopped talking, looking at you with wide eyes. "You would treat me better?" Your voice was laced with amusement, maybe teasing him a little now. That question made him stutter a quiet 'Yeah..' and it was clear how taken aback Dae-ho was from his own words. He didn't want you to know, at least not now. He knew this wasn't an ideal place to develop a crush on a girl he could lose in an instant, but he couldn't control his feelings now, could he?

"A lot better even."

"Then show me.."

[wstviewvidal]

baby- w. maximoff

summary: things get said in the moment

pairing: rich!wanda x r

a/n: i wrote this in like two hours

minors do not interact

you give wanda a sideways glance as she coughs into her elbow, burrowed under her blanket, “i told you to wear your jacket on that trip.”

rolling her eyes, she adjusts how she’s laying on the couch, her legs draped over your lap, “it’s germs that get people sick, not the cold,” she mumbles into the blanket that’s covering her face.

“uh huh, and how’s that working out for you?” you tease as you cover her legs with another blanket.

wanda was recently invited to speak about her experience starting a multimillion dollar company at a conference in new york. of course, being the workaholic that she is, she did not think twice about booking a plane ticket out to the upper east side.

unfortunately, being in a cold climate with countless people stuffed into a closed off space only meant it was a matter of time before someone came down with a cold. even more worse, it happened to be wanda— your wanda. the workaholic in her is now paying the price.

and, boy, are you realizing how hardheaded she is when she gets sick.

“you didn’t have to come over, you know,” she says as you can hear the congestion in her voice, “i’m just going to take some medicine and go to sleep.”

wanda can be independent to a fault.

when you’d called her this morning to ask if she’d like to get breakfast, you could immediately hear the stuffiness in her nose. she didn’t even get half way through her response before you bombarded her with questions like, “are you sick?” “did you seriously not wear the clothes i told you to? i helped you pack, wanda,” and, “you don’t even have actual medicine at home, don’t you?”

she tried her best to ease your worries over the phone, but you were at her doorstep no less than an hour later with grocery bags in hand.

you rub her leg as it lays over your own, “i know i didn’t have to, but i wanted to make sure you were taken care of,” you say softly as you watch her burrow into the knitted blanket.

even though wanda preferred to deal with her things on her own, she’d always imagined what it’d be like to have someone to share these experienced with— to be cared for. that was something she’d kept buried deep inside, afraid it was a childish hope.

at the sound of you saying you want to take care of her, she felt her stomach flutter. her lips curled into a bashful smile as she tried her best to hide it. her cheeks turned a dark hue of pink— not from her fever, but from your words.

you didn’t see her reaction, you were too busy watching the show while absentmindedly rubbing her leg in a soothing matter. wanda watched you with a glint in her eye, taking in your gestures.

you turn to look at her, “i’m gonna make you some soup, okay?”

wanda knew it was a losing game to try to stop you, so she nodded and moved her legs to allow you the room to get up.

she laid in the couch, cocooned in blankets while you prepared a dinner for the two of you to eat together.

you walk back after a while with two bowls in hand. you place both on the coffee table in front of the couch.

you move to stand in front of the laying woman, hands on your hips as you assess how her nose is red and her eyes are glossy, “how are you feeling?”

wanda looks up at you with big eyes, shrugging, “the same.”

you nod and help her sit up, “i know, baby, i’m sorry,” you pout softly as you brush away hair from her face. your voice is gentle and warm as crouch in front of her as you fix the blanket she has wrapped around her body.

you touch her so delicately that it makes wanda’s heart swell— then she realizes what you said. she stares up at you with wide eyes, a subtle smile on her face. you called her baby— you’d never called her a petname before. you don’t notice the giddy look on her face, you’re too busy fussing over her comfort on the couch.

wanda wants to say something but the way you’re holding out a spoon for her to eat tells her that you didn’t even realize what you’d said. she stays quiet, but wants nothing more than to hear you say it again.

she takes the spoon from you, “you’re spoiling me,” she murmurs.

you settle beside her on the couch, soup in hand, “you deserve it.

deep down, wanda would love to tease you for your slip up, but she can’t help but want to keep it to herself.

[moodymisty]

*sighs and puts on reading glasses like a tired academic* I want to be fucked prone bone, with his massive bicep around my neck and as much of his weight as I can uncomfortably take on me, by Marneus Calgar. Just let me be overstimulated into wordless bliss in this position, and I can die happy drooling all over his arm.

This is more of a thirst than a request, you can decide what to do with this, I had a dream very similar to this last night and wanted to send a thirst this morning but I noticed your requests are open, so do whatever you are comfortable with it. Whether you take it as just a thirst, an ask, or a request, I'll be happy my depravity has reached someone, lol.

Author's note: I decided to do just a kind of short, silly thing, since I love Calgar and still wanted to do something for him.

Relationships: Marneus Calgar/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Size difference, Creampie, Age difference? I'm team sugar daddy Calgar

"Lady equerry?"

You think someone might've been talking to you, but enough competing voices overpower who ever had been speaking that they seem to give up, drowned out by the sound of other, louder topics of conversation.

Your eyes find interest in a large gouge in the table, leaning against your hand as your elbow digs into the table. It's far too early to be up after the night you had, grimacing as you attempt to adjust the way you're sitting without much attention.

The night you had...

"Fuck, Fuck- Marn-"

The heat of his skin was overwhelming, trapped in a bubble of stuffy, steaming air as his massive body laid over you. It smelled of sweat and sex, the flush of his skin overheating yours almost to the point of discomfort.

His forearm rested in front of you to keep his body from laying on you with the entirety of his weight, though you were using it as a pillow as well- your cheek pressed against his skin. A tiny bit of drool slicked to his skin, dribbling from your lips to his forearm. His hand is long enough to press against your shoulder as well, keeping you in place underneath him as he ruthlessly drove himself deeper and deeper into you. The way his forearm rested against your collarbone was almost like a halfhearted headlock, pushing against your throat with each slap of his hips.

You're supposed to be his equerry, but you both seem more entertained when you're acting as his personal bedwarmer.

You're addicted to the feeling of it; Of being trapped underneath and weighed down by his massive form with your legs spread wide, calves and feet flopping around uselessly as his massive hips drove your thighs apart to the point of a painful stretch. The weight of him was suffocating, pressing as much down on you as he can without genuinely harming you. Any hope of moving away would be impossible if you ever dreamed of wanting to.

"Ah, ah, ah,"

"How much more can you handle, little one?"

Calgar's weight pushed you into the plush mattress deeper, almost stealing what little air from your lungs you could manage to bring in with your frantic panting. More drool dribbled down from your chin, the slap of wet skin on skin filled the room with a deafening loudness.

He'd long since fucked any sense of intelligence out of you, the most you could mumble was senseless demands for more through the sounds of incoherent moaning and panting.

You've both already came multiple times, your cunt sloppy and leaking cum that dribbled down onto the blankets and coats his cock, balls slapping against your slick outer lips.

You couldn't help that it had been so long since you enjoyed a moment alone with him, let alone one long enough that could allow for you to actually do this. Calgar's managing the chapter as Tyranid hive fleets scattered across the galaxy takes much of his time, as well as assisting the newly returned Guilliman with various Imperial tasks.

Fucking his normally demure and intelligent equerry loose and stupid was not the highest thing on his unfathomably long list of duties; Though you took a sort of selfish pride that it was at least top ten.

Higher than a surprise meeting with Captain Sicarius, who had been informed to wait.

"More, more,"

Your nails dug into his skin as he forced himself deeper into you, the head of his cock dangerously close to your cervix. It always feels like he's trying to push into your stomach, your guts twisting and turning as he fucks you harder and deeper than any baseline man could ever hope to. Your clit throbbed desperately for touch, and you barely had to reach before he did it himself and made you truly scream.

Calgar finds something in all of this which strokes his pride as an older, greyed marine, and you don't hesitate to point it out at times when you're eager for him to really ruin your ability to walk.

"You're going to be fucked loose when I'm done, you won't be able to even-"-

"Lady Equerry, are you even listening?"

You jolt alert as the sudden, angry voice scolds you; Though you don't have time to defend yourself as Calgar speaks up, his massive armored gauntlet resting on the table just beside your elbow.

"She's listening. Don't worry. I had her up for most of the evening going through this already, so she's a bit bored."

You swallow thickly and look up at Calgar, his grey eyes glancing down at you. You straighten up slightly and try to look some level of interested, adjusting your clothes. The hem fabric of your skirt, mostly.

Them being a gift from Calgar does not improve your overall distracted point of mind, though it does make him pleased to see you in them. The much older astartes finds much joy in your wearing things that show your relationship with him, even if he's the only one who knows it. You have no shortage of those things.

Calgar continues looking down at you, his stern face showing with a soft hint of amusement that only you can see.

"Pay attention, and we can conclude this faster, alright?"

[trashytracktales]

Idk if you write about this topics since they are really sensitive, but it is something I’m currently struggling with and I would like to see how lando would react after finding out that the reader has been hiding a her struggle with mental illness and attempts of ending her life. Once again I know how sensitive this request is but I started reading your work and fell in love with it and thought that you would write this beautifully

Seasons change | LN⁴

💌 REQUESTED by anon ──── This was a pretty difficult one-shot to write, even though it's not very lengthy. I know that mental health is still a topic of actuality that we all deal with in one way or another. The only thing that I want you guys to remember after reading this, is that you are not alone. I know that it may sound like a broken record, but it's true. Each of us has a Lando in our lives who will care enough to stand by you without ulterior motives or conditions. And if you really feel like you don't, I can be him for you. My DMs and ask box are always open, so don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone. You matter in all your forms 🤍

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

☆ summary ──── He's been away for work for a while now, but when Lando comes home to find his girlfriend at her lowest, they have to learn the hard way that love is about sitting with each other in the dark, not just chasing the light.

☆ pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

☆ rating ──── mature

☆ category ──── F/M

☆ word count ──── 2.6k

☆ date ──── Jan. 11, 2025

☆ warnings ──── 16+, established relationship, soft!Lando, mental health struggles, depression, suicidal ideation, mention of alcohol consumption and pills, emotional distress, vulnerability, guilt and healing, non-sexual nudity (bathtub scene, including tenderness and intimacy).

Please, proceed with caution and prioritize your well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling, these are some of the resources I personally used for years now & I think (and hope) that it might help you at some point:

☆ MENTAL HEALTH APPS

Calm

7 cups

BetterMe

☆ INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS

idontmind

thefabstory (also an app)

getreformative (currently inactive, but great resources posted there)

talkspace

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THE APARTMENT IS too quiet tonight. A space that once felt like a sanctuary, now seems to close in on her, the walls pressing closer with each passing hour.

To anyone looking in, her life might appear perfectly ordinary, even enviable. She has a stable job that she loves, a couple of friends who care in their own way, and Lando. Lando, with his boundless energy, his boyish grin, and his unwavering ability to see the good in her even when she struggles to find it in herself. But beneath that polished surface, there’s a darkness she’s been hiding for as long as she can remember.

She’s not really sure when it happened, or what caused her to lose her spark. Most of the times, she thinks that she’s always been like this, but that can’t be right. Although, at this point in time, it went on long enough that she learned to wear masks and mimic people’s gestures. It’s exhausting, but it’s easier than explaining why some days she can barely drag herself out of bed, or why her mind feels like a storm she can’t escape.

Lately, the same storm has been relentless. Lando’s been away for weeks, hopping from one race to another, his life a whirlwind of fast cars, tons of people, and flashing cameras. She’s proud of him, of course, but his absence leaves a void she can’t seem to fill on her own, no matter how many phone calls they share.

She knows it’s not his responsibility to fix her, but without even knowing it, Lando does it every time he looks at her. In those moments, pieces of her heart are welded back together, giving her hope that one day, maybe, it will be whole again.

Of course, things aren’t that easy.

She’s always been a loner, someone who enjoys her own company more than the chaos of others. This is why she doesn’t go with Lando to all of his races. Over time, they’ve developed their own rhythm, and it only works when they both put in the effort to be together. However, she knows that he often works for both of them. She also knows that it’s not right to let him do this, but she doesn’t know how to stop.

But being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, and lately, the loneliness feels like it’s swallowing her whole. She tries to keep busy, to distract herself with work or a new book, but the dark thoughts always find her; a cycle she can’t break. They usually creep in at night when she’s most vulnerable, whispering lies she can’t ignore.

You’re a burden.

He’d be better off without you.

Everyone would be better off without you.

In spite of everything, she knows she’s lucky, though. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and someone who loves her. And, somehow, knowing that only makes her feel worse. Most of the times, the guilt is suffocating — a heavy weight that presses down on her chest until she can’t breathe. She’s tried to push the thoughts away, to drown them in work or meaningless distractions. She tried to be grateful. But tonight, like many other nights before, they’ve won.

When Lando steps into the apartment, the soft click of the door is echoing in the stillness. It’s late — later than he’d hoped — and he assumes she’s already asleep, because he texted her hours ago to let her know he was on his way, but there had been no reply.

Dropping his bag quietly by the door, he toes off his sneakers and glances toward the dimly lit living room. The faint glow of the city skyline filters through the curtains, casting muted shadows across the floor. He moves carefully, not wanting to wake her, with a simple plan in mind: slip into bed, wrap his arms around his girlfriend, and fall asleep to the steady rhythm of her breathing.

But something feels off.

On his way to the bedroom, he spots the balcony door slightly ajar. A cool breeze sneaks through the crack, carrying with it the faint scent of something acrid. He pauses, his brow furrowing as he approaches the glass door.

That’s when he sees her.

She’s out on the balcony, her back to him, legs dangling dangerously over the edge. For a moment, he’s frozen in place, his mind struggling to process what he’s seeing. Then his gaze shifts, taking in the scene: some things are knocked over on the small table by the door, a small flacon of pills alongside a half-empty bottle of wine, and all the mess. The realization hits him like a physical blow, and his heart starts pounding in his chest.

But then, panic grips him as he slides the door open, stepping out onto the balcony. The sound startles her, and she turns her head slightly, her expression distant and unfocused. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and there’s an eerie calmness about her that chills him to the core.

“Hey, is everything okay?” asks Lando, his voice soft as he crouches beside her, careful not to make any sudden movements. “What… baby, what are you doing out here?”

She doesn’t answer immediately, her gaze drifting back to the city below. The silence stretches, each second feeling heavier than the previous one.

“Talk to me,” he pleads, his voice slightly cracking. His eyes dart back to the table, to the pill bottle and the wine, and he feels a surge of anger mixed with fear. “Is this—fuck. Did you take these?”

She shakes her head, a small smile curving in the corner of her mouth. “I’m so tired, love,” she whispers finally, her voice shaking over the hum of the city.

Her words hit him like a punch in the gut, and he’s suddenly aware of how fragile she looks, and how close she is to the edge. His hands shake as he reaches for her, gently gripping her arm. His heart beats so hard that he feels it throughout his body — his ribcage, in his throat, in the hand he tightens around her, to make sure he’s holding her with enough force.

“Okay. That’s okay,” he says, his tone soft but urgent. “Let’s go inside, yeah? I’m tired too, we can rest together. What do you say?”

“No… no, it’s not—” she tries to speak, but her brain is clouded by a mental fog, and everything around her moves too quickly for her to catch up.

“Come on, can you step back? Please. For me?”

His last question is what jolts her back to reality. For him? She would do anything for him. Lando knows that, and she soon realizes that he is using it to emotionally blackmail her. He always does that, and it annoys her.

She raises her head to look at him, her tired eyes meeting his, and for a moment, Lando thinks she’ll comply. But then, she pushes his hand away, a trace of betrayal crossing his face.

“No. It’s pretty out here,” she says, gazing down at the world that simply exists under her feet. The distance makes her stomach clench, knowing that all it takes it’s a small misstep for everything to end. Still, she doesn’t move an inch.

“I see that, love,” he agrees, “But I want to talk to you, and I can’t do that unless I make sure you’re safe. Did you… do this before?”

She nods slowly, refusing to look at him.

At that, Lando exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm the storm in his chest. He knows her enough to know when to push and when to give her space, only this time around, he’s met with a weird combination of both. Luckily, his body decides what to do before his mind agrees to it and, cautiously, he climbs up to join her on the edge, his hands gripping the cold railing as his pulse pounds in his ears.

Her head snaps toward him, her expression instantly shifting, panic flashing in her eyes. “No, what are you doing?” she whispers, her voice cracking.

“I’m with you,” he murmurs, his voice tender, laced with fear he’s desperately trying to hide. “If you’re staying here, then so am I.”

She blinks, her lips parting as if to protest, but no words come. Instead, her gaze softens, the wine-induced haze in her eyes clearing. Slowly, she lets out a shaky breath and sits down on the narrow ledge, her hands gripping the edge. Lando follows her lead, sitting close but careful not to crowd her, his knee brushing hers. He hesitates for a moment before gently reaching for her hand, and he exhales relieved when her fingers close around his, grounding both of them.

They sit in silence for a moment, the distant city lights flickering around them.

“I’ve missed you a lot, you know?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, breaking the quiet. “I never… If something happens, I don’t want to have to miss you all the time—”

“Lando, I know,” she cuts him off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she continues, staring at their joined hands. Her voice is small, guilt creeping into her tone.

He nods, looking at her, “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Lando says gently. “I know I’m away a lot, but if you need me, I’ll do anything.”

Her grip on his hand tightens slightly just as she turns to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, tears pooling but not yet falling. “It’s not your fault, Lan. It’s me. I… don’t even know. There’s nothing wrong, but at the same time, nothing’s quite right, either.”

He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Don’t apologize for feeling. It just makes me think now, because I thought you trusted me,” says Lando, his words cutting through her like a knife through butter. “I trust you,” he adds, almost like pointing it out.

She knows he does, her mind instantly replaying the moments in her mind, the times he’d come to her with his struggles. When a race didn’t go his way, and he doubted everything he’d worked so hard for. When social media was brutal, tearing him apart with words that left invisible scars. When he felt hated and couldn’t understand why. He always talked to her, shared his pain, his fears, his insecurities. He let her in, trusted her completely. And now, here she was, shutting him out when he was only trying to do the same for her.

“Don’t say that…” she starts, but her voice catches, and her breath hitches. “I’m trying.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Lando says gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Can we, please, just go inside?”

The tears she’s been holding back for too long finally slip free, carving hot, silent paths down her cheeks. She looks up at him, her lips trembling as she whispers, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

His expression softens, and without hesitation, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to her knuckles, mostly to show her that she didn’t. The gesture is so simple yet so full of love that it sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over her.

Lando doesn’t let go of her hand as he gently helps her to her feet, guiding her back inside the apartment. The night air clings to their skin, but it’s the quiet inside that feels even heavier. He doesn’t say much, just keeps her close, his touch steady and grounding as they make their way to the bathroom.

A little uncomfortable now, she leans against the doorframe, watching as Lando moves around, carefully. He runs the water, testing the temperature with his hand, adding just the right amount of bath salts from the container on the shelf. The pale lavender-scented steam begins to fill the space, creating a safe bubble for both of them.

When Lando finally looks back at her, his expression is warm and inviting, somehow hopeful. He steps closer, reaching out to gently cup her cheek, wiping away the tear stains that remain.

“You’re everything to me,” he says softly, his thumb brushing over her skin before his hands move to the hem of her hoodie.

She doesn’t protest as he carefully lifts it over her head, his touch tender, his eyes never leaving hers. For a moment, she stands there, feeling vulnerable under his gaze, but there’s nothing but love in his expression.

Her fingers tremble slightly as she reaches out to return the gesture, undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one. His eyes stay locked on hers, silently reassuring her, grounding her in the best way possible. By the time she pushes the fabric off his shoulders, the weight in her chest feels a little lighter.

They step into the bath together, the warm water enveloping them like a soothing embrace. She settles between his legs, her back against his chest, and his arms come around her instinctively. There’s no rush, no need for words. It’s just them, surrounded by the quiet hum of the water and the soft glow of the candles Lando had lit earlier.

He presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a moment before he rests his chin on her shoulder. “Promise you’ll talk to me next time?” he asks, his voice small but steady. “I know things won’t change overnight, I don’t expect them to. But I need to know you understand that I’m here for you. That I love you enough to listen, and feel everything with you.”

The words settle in her chest, heavy but necessary, like the first raindrops of a storm. For the first time in what feels like forever, she sees beyond the swirling chaos in her mind. The weight of his love and understanding wraps around her like the warmth of the water they’re sitting in. And then it hits her.

How life itself is the changing of seasons, a constant push and pull — a constant chaos. Sometimes, the sun will break through, lighting everything in gold. Other times, it will rain so hard she won’t see the way ahead. But Lando’s right. It will get better again. Then worse. And then better again. That’s the way it is for everyone. A relentless tide of ups and downs, joy and pain, hope and disappointments.

As she leans back into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, she realizes the most important thing: it isn’t always black or white. Sometimes, it’s a hazy gray — a space where the lines blur, where the answers aren’t clear, and the path you find yourself on feels impossibly difficult to navigate. But it’s in that in-between, in the murky middle, that having the right person beside you matters the most. Not to pull you into the light or demand you leave the shadows, but to sit with you in the dark, holding your hand, letting you know you’re not alone.

She swallows hard, her throat tight, but not from sadness this time. “I promise,” she finds the strength to whisper. Her breath catches, and she turns her head slightly to meet his gaze, tears still pooling in her eyes. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I—”

“You deserve everything, my love,” Lando assures her, his lips brushing her temple, before placing a tiny kiss there. “And I’ll make sure you get it.”

His definitive tone sends shivers down her spine.

She closes her eyes, feeling the water ripple softly around them, and holds on tighter, knowing that no matter what storms may come, the most important thing is that they won’t lose each other’s touch.

And that’s everything to her.

PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT

MASTERLIST

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© trashy track tales, 2025

[life-is-more-than-just-a-game]

Can you make a jealous chishiya? Where chishiya tells the reader to thet information about arisu but the reader and arisu gets along prety well and chishiya gets jealous? Thank you.

♠️ Chishiya being jealous about you and Arisu getting along pretty well ♠️

A/N: Hey, sorry for letting you wait so long. Maybe you have already forget that you wrote me this request but I like the idea behind it, so I decided to make this my "comeback". 👀

I'm actually not sure if I understood it the correct way, but I definitely understood you want a Chishiya who is jealous about the fact Arisu and you are get along splendidly. 😋

Hopefully it reaches you and I also hope you will enjoy reading this. ♥️

Characters: Chishiya

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Not given.

C h i s h i y a

I don't see him being a jealous person actually.

Unless you give him a reason to ...

Chishiya isn't even a person who falls in love easily.

But when he is falling for someone, he falls pretty hard.

So, you have to deal with his feelings and his behavior when he sees you together with Arisu, chatting and laughing together as if there would be no tomorrow.

Okay, to be fair, nobody knows if there would be a "Tomorrow" ... but that's something different!

Arisu may be a great help to him when it comes to collecting all the cards, but sometimes Chishiya thinks Arisu is his downfall.

Especially when it comes to you.

Yeah, but don't think he will talk about it- he is more concerned with hiding his feelings from you than actually speaking about them.

Even if you already have realized something isn't okay with him, he wouldn't admit it.

"I'm used to it that you are not talking much when there is nothing important to discuss about." "I can hear your "but" even though you didn't said it yet." "Then guess what I wanted to say next." "I don't have any problems, I feel fine, no worries."

Nobody said it would be easy with him. He can be as cold as he looks and it's hard seeing through him, even for you.

Still, he can be a calm and cool person as much as he wants- but he's just a human being. You can endure a lot, but at some point everyone reaches their limits.

You and Arisu are talking a lot? Fine.

Arisu makes a joke you find funny, so he watches both of you laughing and having fun with each other? Alright, you aren't his trophy, everyone can have other friends next to his own partner.

But seeing both of you hugging after a game ...

Because you saw someone die in front of your eyes and you are now overwhelmed by many different emotions ...

Well, enough is enough.

"Step aside, Arisu, that's not your part, alright?"

He was waiting for you the entire time you were in the building, so it's not hard for him to find you both outside being ... needy.

"In the future, you'd better keep your hands to yourself." "Excuse me what was that?" "You already understand."

While Chishiya switches positions with Arisu and holds you captive in his arms, he just gives the dark-haired man a warning look.

… Even if unintentionally.

… And unconsciously.

"Well ... I better go then and ... leave both of you alone ... for now." Arisu lets off of you, leaving you to the person who means the most to you. "You better do."

Trying to catch your breath and calm down, you look up to Chishiya and Arisu alternately, feeling the tension between them.

Still, you can't help but start giggling a little.

Arisu und Chishiya both start looking at you now, irritated and confused.

"W-Well, wait ... just to make it clear- is there someone ... really ... jealousy?" "Yes, he is." "No, I'm not", he says calmly. "Okay, then ... let me hug Arisu again ... s-shouldn't be a problem when everything is okay. Right?"

Silence.

You smiling up to Chishiya, who is now biting his tongue and pressing his lips together, not even thinking about letting off of you.

Arisu watching in amusement.

"I'm ... just not fine seeing another one be there for you while I can be there for you. It's my job to cheer you up- even though I'm not the best in it, but I'm trying very hard." "You ARE jealousy, Chi!" "Oi, stop saying this, will you ... ?"

[vxsellie]

𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔤𝔬. — E.W

summary. ellie slipped between your fingers, falling right out of your grasp as though she were liquid. it was better for you both, sure, but that doesn't make losing her any easier. ⌇ 4.7k wc.

notes. i posted a poll a few weeks ago asking what u guys wanted to see & this was ur answer so here she is! i hope it lives up to ur guys standards! anyway,, first and foremost, this is based off of the songs 'your needs, my needs' & 'call your mom' by noah kahan. he does a fantastic job depicting addiction and the impact of its severity. i heavily suggest listening to those songs in order to grasp the depth of what i'm trying to portray here.

second, i want to preface this by saying that i am not romanticizing or promoting addiction in any way whatsoever. drugs & alcohol are horrible coping mechanisms. as someone who has lost many loved ones to such horridly, i'm writing this in an attempt to shine light on the raw, dark side of what this can lead to. if u or anyone u know is struggling with something similar to ellie in this story, my DMs are always open!

warnings. graphic depictions of death and grief, substance abuse, alcohol & drug addiction, brief toxicity, intoxicated arguments, flashbacks, mentions of vomit, unintentional suicide attempt, angst angst angst

FEBRUARY.

cold fingertips brush the skin of your cheekbone, rousing you from slumber. you know who it is without having to open your eyes, her voice proof of that. ellie's breath still smells of her minty toothpaste as it fans across your face. she leans down to press a kiss to your nose. "good mornin'."

you groan, draping an arm over your eyes. ellie chuckles, her footsteps padding across the hardwood flooring of your shared bedroom. metal scrapes against itself as she pulls the curtains back, allowing sunlight to file through the space. your groans only grow in volume at this, pulling the duvet over your head.

"it's too early." you grumble, voice muffled beneath the pleated fabric.

"baby," she crosses the room back to the bed. you feel the mattress dip under her weight as she sits down on the edge, one of her hands coming to massage the calf of you leg. "it's almost noon."

begrudgingly, you peel the blanket away from your face and frown at her. auburn hair glows like a halo around the crown of her head, her freckles catching the light against her fair skin. oh and those eyes. god, you could look into them until the world came crumbling around you — which it technically has, considering the apocalyptic milieu that encompasses jackson.

"it's saturday, els." you tell her. "we can sit around and do nothing all day."

a smile tugs at her lips, dimples adorning her skin. "actually, maria wanted our help in the gardens today, remember? you got drunk a few weeks ago and agreed."

"oh. i was really excited to be unproductive." you sigh, expression falling. "we could've made breakfast, cozied up on the couch, watched a few sad movies, have sex. y'know, the domestic crap that elderly couples do?"

"first of all, i already made you breakfast." she says, nodding her head in the direction of the opened door. you turn toward it, craning your neck to peer through the doorway. sure enough, there's a plate of eggs and bacon sitting untouched on the countertop in the kitchen. "second, we can still cuddle and watch movies after helping maria. third, we can have sex whenever we want. we don't need to plan it out like teenagers anymore."

you grin at her, "yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

she laughs, the sound melodic. it carries through the air like a hymn, alighting the nerves within you like an ignited flame. if you were a wick, ellie would forever be the match. she lights you up, acting as apollo to your icarus. well. without the harsh fall, of course.

"c'mon, stupid." she says, grabbing you by the wrists and pulling you into a sitting position. you allow yourself to be pulled, dramatizing ellie's haste as you flop forward, leaning against her chest. it shakes with laughter as she removes a hand from your wrist to run her fingers through your hair.

it's matted and unbrushed, though she loves it just the same. loves you just the same. no matter how bad your breath smells in the mornings or how tangled your hair, ellie would never dream of complaining. why would she? to be given the chance to wake up next to you each day, she'd do anything. even if that includes putting up with your silly jokes and your dysania.

domesticity is irrefutably ellie's absolute favorite thing in the world. to make breakfast for you, moving about the kitchen you'd decorated together. to brush her teeth beside you. to give you a gentle kiss before leaving the house. to spend the day longing for your embrace. to come home to you warming dinner over the stove. to listen to you ramble on about your day over the meal. to take a shower where your shampoos sit side by side, her having to use yours when her own runs low. to return to bed to see you dressed into something cozy. to latch onto you under the blankets, limbs tangling together. to smell your hair and know hers smells the same. to fall asleep in the proximity of the girl she loves.

that's her favorite. that's what she'd rather eat glass than live without. and she'd never fathom the idea of doing it with anyone else.

MARCH.

the day joel dies is hard on everyone. he was a glue to the town of jackson, his country drawl and greying hair fading together into a soft presence that was adored by all.

especially by ellie.

and you knew this better than anyone. she loved joel like a father, perhaps even more so. she looked up to him as though the man had hung the stars in the sky. when he died, everything good and right in the world died alongside him. including ellie's gentility. her green eyes hardened, her smiles thinned, her hair matted. she was a wreck.

she doesn't do anything, though nobody in town expects her to. you've picked up on all the chores around the house, refusing to make her do anything in such a state of grief. she holes up in the bedroom all day, never leaving bed. not even to eat.

the first few days of this, you had to force her to eat, coaxing her into opening her mouth and having to remind her to chew. she claimed it tasted like chalk and she needed to spit it out. she cried when you refused to let her. "i don't want it." she'd repeated over and over between sobs, despite only having taken a bite of the stew you made. she leaned on you, her greasy hair falling over her face. you rubbed her back, the vertebrae of her spine poking through her skin.

"i know baby, i know." you whispered. it took everything in you not to start crying at the sound of her sobs, but you knew that would only make things worse. so you stayed beside her until her cries ceased and her limbs fell limp against you. you then laid her back against the mattress, making a mental note to approach this better next time.

she eventually got better at eating, though progress was slow. she's now currently able to eat one meal a day without puking it back up from nausea. the amount of times you've held that poor girl's hair back for her is immeasurable. she's not herself. and it pains you to see her like this, but you haven't a clue how else to handle it.

it's been two weeks since joel's death. ellie has still yet to leave the house and rarely leaves the bed, though she goes to the bathroom now. so thats good. you think it is, at least. she still needs to be reminded when to eat and needs help in the shower sometimes, or she'll stay in there for hours without even touching the soaps. her mind is a plethora of nonsense, malarkey acting as the puppeteer to her every waking thought.

"here," you speak softly, reaching across the tub to grab her shampoo. when you pick it up, you register that it's barely been used. you frown at this. "ellie, why—"

"i like yours better." she mutters, so quiet you can barely hear her voice.

"what? you never liked mine better." you say with a frown, though you don't hesitate to oblige her request. you place her shampoo down and grab your own. "you've always insisted that we buy that specific brand for you."

"yeah, because it's the brand joel uses- uh, used."

your movements cease, heart clenching. her voice cracked as she spoke, eyes burning as she swallowed harshly. you take a deep breath to ground yourself, blowing out through your mouth. you can not cry right now. not in front of her.

you'd made that mistake last week. you started crying when you saw her journal and all the crossed out drawings of joel. she frowned, appearing genuinely confused by your sadness. she comforted you, which only made you sob harder. you felt so, so guilty for it because she's the one who should be comforted, not you. but she's so loving that she can't even stomach seeing you upset.

as you apply your own shampoo into ellie's scalp, massaging it to bubbles, you decide that you'd do anything for her. for your light, your apollo.

MAY.

it's like living with a ghost. two months since joel's death and ellie has begun to change. drastically. she's never home anymore, always hanging out with her friends or busying herself with work. you have the sneaking suspicion that it's her way of keeping her mind from succumbing to that aching grief that embodied her in march. so you say nothing, deciding to let her be.

though, admittedly, you begin to wonder what she does when she doesn't come home. when she stays out for three days without telling you where she's going nor been. when you cook dinner for two, only to eat for one. when your shampoo sits in your shower only used on one scalp.

you've found it hard to fall asleep alone after living with ellie for so long. you'd grown dependent on the comfort her presence provides. tangling your legs together under the blanket while her arms wrap around your waist. now, in her stead lies an empty mattress and unwrinkled sheets.

it's currently been three days since you last saw ellie. you're sitting at the dinner table alone, picking at your pasta when you hear a rapid knock at the door. you instantly perk up.

you hope it's ellie, though you wonder why she doesn't just let herself in. she has her own set of keys, so why knock?

you stand from your chair, the legs scraping against the wood flooring as your push to your feet. the door creaks on its hinges when you pull it open. just as you'd thought, ellie stands on the porch. her head is lowered, auburn tufts covering her face like a veil. or perhaps a mask.

you open the door wider to allow her entry. the light pools out onto the porch and across the tops of her converse. she notices the shift and begins to enter, though she's acting strange. she's stumbling over her own feet, refusing to lift her head. your brows furrow as you lock the door behind you.

when you turn around, ellie is sitting in your chair as she begins to eat from your plate of pasta. you frown, "i can get you a serving, if you want. i made enough for two. i always do."

she lifts her head and you realize why she's acting so weird. between her lidded eyes and bloodshot scleras, it's clear that she's not sober. she raised a brow at your staring, "what?" her tone is sharp, unlike herself.

"nothing, baby. it's fine." you sigh, turning to grab her a plate from the cabinets above your head. you pull one from the shelf and begin to add pasta onto it. however, by the time you reach the table, ellie's passed out atop it. her face is smushed into the tabletop, hair getting all in your food.

you huff out a breath, shifting to hold her plate in one hand before lightly shaking her shoulders with your other. she doesn't rouse so you shake her even harder. eventually, she snaps awake. perhaps too quickly, because she thrashes out. her arms flail, knuckles colliding with your cheekbone.

the plate in your hand falls to the floor, glass shattering against wood. ellie's eyes widen, her gaze trained on your face as yours remains trained on the broken dish below your feet.

she begins to stand, "i didn't mean—"

"it's okay, els." you assure her with a small smile, urging her to sit back down. the last thing you want is glass in her foot.

"no, i—" she shakes her head, clearly fighting her own mind as she combats for ascendancy over her inebriation. "i hit you.. i never meant to— to ever—"

"ellie." you interrupt, voice hard. "it's fine."

her lips thin as she gives you a curt nod in response. you walk into the kitchen to retrieve the broom. when you return, ellie is out of her chair and walking toward the door. you frown at her and she gives you a pitying look before exiting the house without another word.

AUGUST.

"drugs, ellie?" you shout, hands flying up in emphasis. "you're taking fucking pills now!?"

"don't snoop through my shit!" she shouts back.

your voices bounce off the walls of your home. once such a cozy, quiet place of solace. now only visited in short increments when in need of food or a bed. the light of the candle you'd lit this morning glows a soft orange, almost taunting you with its clashing softness.

ellie hasn't been home all month. she finally came back last night, kissing you gently as she apologized for acting so strange. she confided in you, explaining how she's been having a hard time but intends to make up for it. her hands were benign as she ran them over your bare skin last night. oh so kind, she was. her words were like music, playing the exact lyrics that you'd coveted for months.

only to wake up this morning and find out the truth. you'd come into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast, a soft smile on your lips as you lit the candle. you'd noticed that she left her coat on the counter and reached to grab it for her. you hadn't meant to snoop, just to clean up behind her. as you've been doing since march.

but then you heard an odd sound from within the pocket. you reached into it, thinking she'd left her keys. and you knew ellie long enough to know that she'd freak out, thinking she'd lost them if you didn't put them on the table for her.

but they weren't her keys. they were pills.

"i didn't snoop, you asshole!" you exclaim. "i was trying to help you!"

"i don't need you controlling my fucking life all the time!" she shouts, features contorted into an expression of rage that you'd never seen her wear. it was disquieting.

"controlling?" you shake your head in disbelief. "i'm trying to keep you from doing shit you'll regret! i'm sorry for caring!"

"oh, don't fucking turn this on me." ellie scoffs.

you watch her with furrowed brows. is she serious? turn this on her? you're genuinely unsure on what you did wrong. you let her back into the home, slept with her, made her favorite breakfast in bed. then found out that she fucking lied. she was keeping shit from you.

your tone is much softer when you ask, "..were you even sober last night?"

her jaw clenches, but she doesn't respond. tears well in your eyes at the thought.

you'd never been more excited than you were last night. to finally have her back. your ellie. to have her coming back to you, for you. you'd fallen asleep last night studying her features. your fingertip traced the slope of her nose down to the cupids bow of her lip.

your chest aches as you say these next words. "get out of my house."

"your house?" she asks.

you feel like your drowning. or perhaps you're choking. or falling. but whatever it is, you're sure it's irrevocable. your throat is so tight you can hardly breathe. "i want all your shit packed and out of here by the end of the month."

ellie's eyes widen. "you're not serious."

"i've never been more serious in my fucking life." you say. "you can't storm in here whenever you want, use me like some whore, then leave when you feel like it. i'm tired of your bullshit ellie, that was my final straw."

her eyes are glassy as she grabs her coat — which is still full of pills — and leaves.

the moment the door slams shut behind her, you fall to the floor. your knees give out beneath your weight, the tile flooring cold against the palms of your hands. so this is what it is to fall. to chase the sun and get burned. to melt your wax and plummet. all you can thing, as you hear ellie's muffled cries outside the door, is how much you empathize with icarus for being foolish enough to reach for apollo.

OCTOBER.

jesse is throwing a party for his twenty second birthday. it's not a huge party, but large enough that you're sure ellie will be there. it's only been two months since you broke things off with her.

nothing, since then, has felt real. the length of your hair, the shape of your bones, the height of your spine. nothing is right in the world. in you.

but this is for jesse, not for ellie. if she's here today, that's her problem. not yours. for once, it's ellie's turn to regret. you're sick of being the one crying at night when you can hear her unlock the door to retrieve her things when she thinks you're asleep. you're fucking tired of it. she's the one who ruined everything.

you knock one, two, three times before the door swings open. dina smiles at you kindly as she widens the door to allow you inside. you thank her, though you know she's not your friend. you two aren't on bad terms necessarily, she just doesn't seem like you all that much. which is fine.

you enter the home to see that most guests have already arrived and are already drinking. jesse is in the living room, a goofy party hat atop his head as he shouts at the television. behind him, people laugh from the couches. one of those people is ellie. her legs are spread, an empty beer bottle hanging from her loose fingers. she doesn't seem to notice you, engrossed in whatever is happening on the tv. dina's gaze lingers on you for a moment before she leaves.

you walk to the kitchen to place your belongings down, pulling out the gift that you'd bought for jesse. the kitchen is empty, everyone else having crowded into the living room. though, it doesn't stay empty for long.

"what're you doin' here." ellie's voice speaks from the doorway. you don't look in her direction, not daring to.

"jesse's my friend too, ellie." you remind her with a sigh, placing the gift on the counter alongside all the other gifts.

part of you yearns to run to her, to pull her into your arms out of pure instinct. but you're not able to do that anymore because she's not yours. you spent over five months trying to comfort her into sobriety, only for your efforts to be in vain. so, instead of acting on foolish impulse, you keep your feet planted in place as you refuse to face her.

"you can't even look at me?" she slurs, voice tinged with annoyance.

"you're not yourself, right now." you say, eyes remaining pinned to the countertop in front of you. "i don't want to see you like this."

in truth, you know the sight of her so intoxicated would only ruin you further. it'd make you yearn for her even more as your mind reminisces on all that's been lost. all those wasted months you could have spent with her. all those nights you took for granted. those smiles. those eyes. seeing her like this would tarnish the few good memories that prevail.

"right," she scoffs, "'cause you're such a fuckin' saint yourself."

"i might not be a saint, but at least i'm still me." you say. "i haven't changed into some pathetic shell of a person."

her jaw clenches, "i'm still me, too."

"no, ellie, you're not." you finally lift your head to face her. your brow is knitted, concern painting your features with something akin to sorrow. it shoots through ellie's chest like a dagger, the sight of your saddened expression. she swallows, burying whatever sense of guilt she feels deep under a facade of vexation. "you're not the woman i fell in love with, you—"

"yes i am!" she shouts, slamming the empty bottle onto the countertop. a long clang rings through the space between you. "i'm the same fucking person!"

"ellie, dont—"

"y'know, back in april, you told me that grief comes in all different forms. you told me that what i'm feeling is normal! you—" her words are cut off by the sound of her voice cracking. your heart cracks along with it.

"that was before i knew how bad this would get." you say. "i thought it was just alcohol."

"it was!" she exclaims. "for a while, it was!"

"it doesn't matter what it was." you snap. "it's no longer just alcohol anymore. you're into pills and drugs and—"

"you can't fuckin' blame me for that!" she yells. you're sure everyone can hear her now. though, due to how drunk they are, you doubt they care enough to eavesdrop. "i was going— i am going through a lot!"

"i get that, ellie. i do." you argue. "but you can't ruin yourself like this! joel wouldn't want this from you and neither do i. you aren't thinking!"

her fists clench at her sides, voice lowering. "don't bring joel into this. he has nothing to do with it."

"he has everything to do with it!" you shout. sucking in a deep breath, you pinch the bridge of your nose in exhaustion. when you continue, your voice has dropped back down to a calmer tone, something you've learned to do during those on-and-off months with ellie. yelling at her only makes her grow more defensive and elongates her next expedition. "he's dead, ellie. he's gone and you're struggling with that. and that's okay. but turn to your friends for comfort. turn to people who love you, not drugs. they don't help you, els."

"turn to my friends? turn to people who love me?" she shakes her head, scoffing incredulously. "i tried that. i turned to you, i leaned on you. i tried and tried and tried and you left me."

"i didn't—"

"you left me when i was at my lowest. what else was i supposed to do?" she says, bottom lip quivering. you can't tell if it's from rage or sadness. a few months ago, you'd be able to read her like a book. not anymore. "you did this to me."

oh. that did it. tears well in your eyes embarrassingly fast. ellie's expression falters for a second, just long enough for you to respond. "fuck you, ellie. if you want to act like an asshole, go ahead. but if you think i'll just sit idly by while you kill yourself, you're painfully fucking wrong."

NOVEMBER.

someone's knocking at your door. it's well past midnight and you're in the middle of brushing your teeth. you curse under your breath, spitting before rushing to the front door. they continue to bang on the wood. "i'm fucking coming, calm down!"

you swing the door open, the chilly air sweeping inside. your eyes take a second to adjust to the light before you recognize ellie's silhouette. your eyes widen as she staggers inside. she leans against you instinctively, hands bracing your shoulders as she trips over her own feet. you hold her around the waist, guiding her toward your couch. the one she'd picked out three years ago.

"didn't know.." her words trail off and you shush her, rolling her onto her side in case she needs to vomit. she continues to mutter incoherently as you pace the room, not knowing what to do.

"fucking hell, els." you breathe, watching as her blinking slows and her mouth begins to drool. the black of her pupils take up more space than her irises, worryingly so.

"e'ryone else 's asleep," she murmurs.

you come forward, casting her hair out of her face. "shh, don't speak, baby, you're fine. no need to explain, 'kay?"

"mmm," she hums, eyes fluttering, "m'kay."

you nod, pushing to your feet as you continue to think of what the fuck you're supposed to do. what did she even take to get this bad? who the hell is selling it to her? everyone in jackson knows that she just lost joel earlier this year. god, if you could get your hands on them..

she begins coughing, though it sounds closer to gagging than anything. your heart rushes in your chest, "fuck fuck fuck."

without thinking, you grab your phone from your wall and dial tommy's number. it rings thrice before his voice comes through the line. he barely has time to ask who you are before you're explaining everything between sobs.

tommy, maria, and a few medics arrive within ten minutes. they haul ellie away on a stretcher, speaking too fast for you to pick up on anything. you stand in your living room as tommy follows them out. maria walks over to you as you're rubbing harshly at your eyes.

"you did the right thing, kid." she assures you, voice so soft that it only makes you cry harder. she frowns, humming sadly as she pulls you into a hug. "i know it's hard. grief always is."

you pull back, looking at her through teary eyes, "how'd you handle tommy? after joel passed."

"i hardly did." she admits. "we're not on the best terms, even now. that's just was loss does to people. it drives them apart until there's nothing left to drive apart."

"i don't..." you frown. "i don't think ellie and i have anything left."

APRIL.

you haven't spoken to ellie since november. after she awoke in a medical cot, she was more sober than she's been in months. her withdrawals were horrid, tommy said. he kept you in the loop with everything because ellie refused to see you, claiming to loathe you for having called tommy.

you can't lie, your heart definitely broke when you heard that. to imagine ellie from last year, kissing you awake with breakfast in bed, and comparing her to the ellie from now, claiming to never want to see your face again? the thought makes you feen genuinely ill.

snow sticks to the ground as you walk through the town of jackson. you're on your way to the grocery store when you see her. well, them. dina walks beside ellie as they saunter down the sidewalk, hands clasped together. she has that look on her face, the one she used to only ever give you. the one nobody else was lucky enough to see.

you huff breath, turning to look in the other direction as you pretend to not have even seen them together.

ellie seems to be getting better. and that's all that matters.

her eyes are bright, her nose is red from the cold. you can see her freckles from here, and you know the exact amount that coat her cheeks. you've counted them, memorized them as her fingertips traced your skin. as her viridescent gaze bore into your own with nothing but the same love she's currently looking at dina with.

you quicken your footsteps, forcing yourself to walk faster before you act on the biting pain in your stomach. the tangible agony that writhes within you.

FEBRUARY.

jj. that's his name.

no, you didn't stalk your ex girlfriend surrogate. you're not that crazy. maria actually came to you, explained that dina had a child and was raising him alongside ellie. she showed you a picture of them, a perfect family of three.

you instantly broke down into tears the moment you saw his gummy smile and fatty fists. dina held him tightly, having the same eyes as he. ellie had an arm draped over her, one hand on jj's shoulder as she beamed at the camera.

ellie is a mom. she has a baby. she has a baby boy who never would have gotten the chance to know her if she'd died that november night two years ago. and yet, she still refuses to speak to you. not a word has been uttered since that night. since she was dying on your couch from an overdose.

but it doesn't matter. who ellie is with and what ellie is doing doesn't matter at all. she's happy and that's all that matters.

you're perfectly content with watching her from afar with wax wings that are sure to burn under her brilliance. you'd tried it once and only ended in scorched flesh and the corpse of letting go.

⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 perm. taglist @luvsturniolo.     @ilovewomenfr.     @zzombiegirl.     @elliessweetheart.     @shawangel.  @defnoteleonor.     @fatbootymuncher.     @autisticintr0vert. 

⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 series taglist @soodle-noup. @kirammanss. @vahnilla. @prwttiestbunny.

[doberbutts]

hello! I'm the one that sent you that ask a week or so ago. Sorry I didn't check to see if you'd answered for a while because I was just so upset and had to take a second. I will say I scrolled through a bunch of helpful posts you reblogged before I even found the ask again that helped a LOT.

Two things I thought you might want to know is that it wasn't speculation that you'd blocked the weirdo blog that sent me your way: they literally have "proudly blocked by doberbutts" in their bio which was why i felt safe coming to you lmao. Second is I guess my struggle with this issue was an overall struggle with how bad wider misogyny has gotten in general and how muddied it's gotten with the "male loneliness crisis" and like, centering men's issues under patriarchy and just how insanely upset it's been making me. Seeing cis MRAs identify with trans men freaked me out because like, yeah it's important to talk about how (cis) men suffer under patriarchy but it's just so rare for me to find men do that without devolving into misogyny, and I start to feel so helpless because I know validating these issues matter but women are being literally dehumanized openly. I do play oppression olympics with this specific issue and just of COURSE women suffer more under patriarchy, but the same men who demand space to air how they suffer won't acknowledge that truth. (sorry for soapboxing; some of them do! It's just...things are so bad for women rn lol it's really hard to have compassion when it feels like none is being given to me).

So the more I see this issue the more I think people are being affected by larger misogyny like I am, but are doing the typical thing that happens where you lash out at a group you can "reach." Policing and harassing trans men's behaviours is way easier than cis men. I've also been seeing some parallels between this discourse and the "gay men vs lesbian women" discourse. It's not really a one-to-one but the discussion of the role of misogyny re homophobia towards gay men who still have male privilege but, come on, if they have feminine affectation it's Different and the back and forth that used to happen when gay men and lesbian women did oppression olympics, it just feels similar.

idk as i type this I hope I don't come across disingenuous or like, my Too Casual Overly Respectful tone is trying to subtly incept you. I worry my vibes are too "women first" but I just can't help it misogyny really is ruining my life 😭. Anyways I'm very grateful for your perspective and your blog. I feel more settled and equipped to push back against anti transmasculine behaviour with rhetoric that can actually challenge people

To respond to each point in turn:

1: Again I still don't really know who that is, though I am somewhat bemused by the idea that someone I clearly don't really remember is still so obsessed with me that they're proud I've blocked them. For the record, my block list is as follows: people who send anonymous hate, people who continue to harass me after I've told them to stop, people I catch with posts containing inexcusable bigotry, obvious trolls, self-identified zoophiles and MAPs, and people who repeatedly send me fundraisers after I have already said I only share fundraisers from people I know and trust. Being on my block list is, um, not really good company, so it's kind of funny to me that someone is proud to be there. Yeah I'm sure they'll fit right in with the neo-nazis and dogfuckers and cyber bullies. Oh and I guess my ex but I only blocked them after they started harassing me about our failed relationship years later. Enjoy block hell I suppose.

2: I'm not really here to play who has it worse, not because I don't recognize the wider understanding of privilege vs oppression but because I think it is a self-defeating thread of thought because you will always find a "more oppressed" example, and I think that people should be allowed to talk about their hurts regardless of their status of "more oppressed" vs "less oppressed". Talking about the ways society has hurt them is not what makes MRAs dangerous. What makes them dangerous is who they blame, how they go about fixing their problem, and the solutions to their problems they come up with.

To be quite frank, the majority of MRAs are men who have experienced some form of social rejection or isolation. Most have been sold some patriarchal lie about how by being men they inherently deserve good sex with hot women on demand, a wife at home to keep barefoot and pregnant, a high paying job where they are respected and valued regardless of the effort they themselves put into it, and all the luxuries that lifestyle can afford. This is a fantasy, you and I both know it. And when these men realize the hard reality that we live in an age of extreme social isolation, that in order to have a partner you need to actually have more personality than a used dishrag and with only half the mess at max, that good sex is about give and take and not just yourself, that these high paying jobs are few and far between with most takers being born into some level of wealth rather than any merit they themselves have earned... they lash out.

It does not at all help things to understand that many of these MRAs are themselves marginalized in some way, but their framework not only doesn't let them see it but also advocates a harsh rejection of anyone who is self-aware enough to realize it. A lot of these guys are undiagnosed, have trauma, and are just as affected by the systems of racism, classism, homo- and trans-phobia, xenophobia, sexism, and ableism as the rest of us.

Quite frankly, I'd rather these dudes see a group of (trans) men fighting for our place in society by joining hands with other activists with more feminist, black-friendly, disabled-friendly, gay- and trans-friendly in an attempt to lift everyone out of the pit rather than continuing to fight over scraps... than to see them continue to blame women and Jews and then go shoot up a school or a mall about it. One of these helps. The other just kills people and excuses rape. There's a lot of value in deradicalizing people by offering them a path to resolving their pain that is perhaps less destructive and more constructive.

This is also why the constant comparison to MRAs annoys me. MRAs kill people in senseless acts of terror and despair because they're upset that they're not having the sex fantasy the patriarchy sold them. Trans men talking about our oppression- regardless of the word we use to express it- are mostly talking amongst ourselves about suicide and rape statistics and sharing ways to get hormones and surgery despite unwilling doctors and insurance companies. We're talking about how our social groups rejected us the moment we came out, or how people use us being men against us in ways that was not happening before we came out or passed. These are not at all equivalent conversations.

3: Again I ask you- I see people using both cis and trans feminist frameworks to hurt other people. Where is your concern for that? I am equally concerned about TERFs as I am about MRAs, as they have driven multiple transgender people and our allies to suicide and even have committed acts of violence against people irl as a result of their ideology. Most TERFs will also be the first ones to tell you that they have been hurt, deeply, by men and that they also are frequently undiagnosed or untreated, traumatized, and affected by the same systems of oppression. Does their existence and their determination to latch onto every feminist conversation including those of people who are staunchly against them then poison all feminism to you? If not, then why make that distinction for trans men and MRAs?

I am black. I am Indigenous. I am transgender. I am gay. I am disabled. I am poor. I suffer. People hurt me. I see every day how bad things are. Do you think I cannot see it, or that my ignorance is the reason for my request for compassion? Perhaps consider that it is rather my knowledge and my lived experience that fuel my call for compassion, instead. I never said it would be easy. But I do think it would make a better world.

4: I do actually agree that it is very similar to the gay man vs lesbian conversation and have said for a while that it's the same queer infighting discussion we've already hashed out for the last 50 or so years, but the target groups just swapped out. It's just butchphobia, it's just biphobia, it's just aphobia, it's just panphobia, it's just nbphobia- it's the same fucking shit over and over and over again. It was shit infighting before and it's shit infighting now. Privilege is a conversation that depends so heavily on context, and the way it has been bastardized by the internet's poor understanding of political frameworks developed by women of color and their allies into cute soundbites and phrases rather than a deep, nuanced knowledge will never fail to annoy me.

Do gay men have privilege over lesbians? As a class, sure, they would have male privilege. But what do we mean by male privilege? The privilege to not worry about being assaulted on the street? To walk home late at night unbothered? To marry who they want, to have the romantic partner they desire, to feel safe within a domestic partnership? You and I both know that doesn't quite match up to the lived experience of gay men worldwide or even here in the "gay paradise" US. How does this interact with other marginalizations? Does a black gay man have privilege over a white lesbian? What happens if he's a drag queen dressed up for an event and she's a butch that passes for cis male? Does that change retroactively if this "gay man" figures out she's actually a transbian 5 years later, and the lesbian is a TERF? I'm not saying this breaks the framework of male privilege- I am saying that sometimes the theory doesn't match the reality, and a nuanced and intersectional understanding is required when talking on an individual scope rather than class politics.

Additionally- as a side note- it is also incredibly annoying to watch people act like privilege = oppressor = dangerous, and oppressed = victim = safe. Privilege, and whether or not you have any, is not a moral indicator nor is it an indicator of the safety of the person you're interacting with. I have privilege over people who cannot walk, because I can. I am not objectively or systemically oppressing people who cannot walk by the use of my legs in my day-to-day life. Oppression is action- if I vote for policies and politicians that removes ramps and safety regulations and provisions to assist wheelchair users? Now I am oppressing people who cannot walk. If I block or move or interfere with the disability aids, if I mock people or assault or harm them, if I dump them out of their mobility aids or break them, that is oppression. The act of climbing the 3 stairs on my front porch to get into my house is a privilege, but the oppression stems from the people who built my house to even have stairs on both exits.

5: lastly to end a very long post, I don't actually think there's any harm in centering yourself when discussing things that objectively affect you, as long as you remember to include others who are affected and let them have their floor to also center themselves when they need to speak up. I am a black trans man. My politics are pretty centered on black feminism. I don't think that is objectively a bad thing. I prefer to let the demographics with similar problems speak for themselves- I would rather my trans fem friends get the mic when they open their mouths, my lesbian friends, my Jewish friends, my latino and asian and arab friends. I don't think there's anything wrong with them centering their own problems and outlooks, as long as they recognize that there's shared space to be had with others who feel similar hurts. I think it's pretty normal to center yourself. I think the difficult thing is knowing when to relinquish the megaphone to someone who's been dying to use it, while you yourself still have so much to say.

[shiningjustforreid]

aura

where Spencer Reid meets someone who shares his pain - if only for a bit.

warnings/tags: 18+ (implied intimacy), migraine-era spencer reid, reader has migraines, reader is called ‘girl’ once, heavy themes at the end, spencer rambles about stars, hospitals, spencer calls reader ‘angel’, no use of y/n

word count: 1774

a/n: hi! this is my very first published fic (even though i’ve read for years!) and it’s nothing major, but i thought it would be fun to finally write! i hope you enjoy <3

- ✩ -

Hospitals may be one of his least favorite places.

“Did you know that actually on any given day 1 in 31 people in a hospital have a hospital induced infection? these include things like a surgical site infection, MRSA,”

Cue the smell of the antiseptic, drowning out the smell of people dying. It’s too clean.

Makes him on edge. But then again, most things do. When people give him that look that clearly says ‘shut up.’ He seems to pull in darkness, trouble, and maybe it’s because he creates it for himself.

Currently, he’s sat, in one of those uncomfortable hospital benches, foot tapping anxiously, sunglasses on, because everything hurts. Notably, his head and eyes.

The lights. The lights build a nausea in him that’s like a tidal wave, build an agony behind his eyes that threatens to reduce his thought process to ash. He still squints, behind the black plastic; it’s not enough, not enough to quell the pain entirely.

“No, I’m, about to go in, actually.”

Is what he should’ve said. But Spencer Reid, a forward man, an eloquent man, is not.

“Can I sit here?”

Quiet, but polite. He makes the mistake of looking up. Your hair is messy, probably from the wind outside, and tucked away from your face. The coat you have on is a deep admiral blue, and it just makes the lack of color in your face all the more apparent. A green bag, slung on your shoulder, as you fiddle with the zipper. Chapped lips form into a halfway smile, and, most noteworthy of all, you have black, plastic glasses on.

“I have an appointment, it’s probably, it’s right after yours, but if I can’t sit here, it’s okay, I-“

You’re backtracking, which means you’re nervous, probably because he’s just been looking at you with an impassive expression, even more unreadable due to the glasses. He clears his throat, and opens his mouth.

“No, um, actually I’m waiting. Hopefully not much longer though.”

God help him, because there’s a shared struggle here, between the two of you. He sees it, in your tense shoulders, the way you sit down slowly, as to not generate any more pain than necessary, the way your hands tremble like leaves in the wind when you adjust your glasses after slowly turning to him. Your halfway smile stays put, though, even through the slow movements.

You move like that, because every movement seems to intensify the burning hot behind your skull.

He knows. He doesn’t know you. Not at all.

But he knows your pain. And maybe that’s enough.

You don’t nod, because it’s unnecessary movement.

“Yeah, I finally gave in and booked an appointment. I’ve had to call out of work for them at least 3 times in the last two weeks.”

Them. The migraines. You don’t need to name them, you both just know. You’re clearly both there for a reason.

“I’m uh, Spencer, by the way. I’ve had mine for a bit now too.”

You tell him your name, and the sound makes a welcome warmth flood through his chest. A star, tiny, but burning, is born. Gravity in his chest, tugging you in, as your heat floods his heart.

Bad idea, bad idea - the alarm bells are clanging. He doesn’t know how sick he is, and he really doesn’t know how sick you are. This could spell disaster, and yet-

He’s intrigued. You radiate this nervousness, a distinct desire to be understood, seen, known. He knows that desire. He has that desire. He wants to know you.

“I think mine might just be due to stress, but, I don’t know. It’s the easiest explanation to deal with.”

For your sake, he hopes that’s all they are. Stress.

And, you’re still sitting there, head bowed, when the nurse comes out and asks questions.

She asks about hallucinations. As if this hell is all in his head. You sit there, silent, biting your lip, worrying the cracked skin in your teeth, your hands picking at the fraying edge of your coat.

When he comes back out, somehow even more tired, even though all he did was lie there and answer some questions, he speaks your name, softly.

As if he has the right to.

You jump a little, look up, and remove your glasses. He stares, he can’t help it. Visible, is the pain, the way your ocular muscles are tense, your skin without color, but you smile, still.

He makes you smile.

“Everything okay?”

Spencer nods hurriedly.

“Fine, for now, I have to get to work. You uh-you’re next?”

“Mhm. Will I—is there any chance I’ll see you again, Spencer?”

You don’t know him. You know him, you must.

“Uh, I mean, I—you want to see me again?”

When will he learn to speak when it actually matters?

“Only if you want to, I-I know I would like to see you again.”

He leaves the hospital, that damn hospital, with a small slip of paper, with ten numbers scrawled in purple ink, and your name below it, a tiny smiley face beside it.

When he gets home from his next case, he fishes that paper out of his messenger bag and types each digit into his cell phone with shaky hands.

Is he tempting fate? Perhaps. But fate answers, your soft voice coming through the phone.

Soon, he finds himself at a café with you, sipping his saccharine sweet coffee and telling you about his job, or some book he just finished, in detail that you don’t seem to protest against. It’s refreshing, really - just to be listened to. To be heard. When you leave, you give him a barely-there kiss on the cheek, a soft goodbye. The star burns brighter.

“I had my follow up appointment.”

He tells you, on the third date, as you two sip coffee once more - are these dates? Would Morgan be impressed? - trying to keep the conversation casual, yet relevant. Your eyes widen with interest.

“And? Did they give you answers?”

He makes a face, shaking his head.

“No. Well, yes, but they told me it’s psychosomatic.”

All in his head.

Your face falls, and you look truly sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Spencer. I knew how much you didn’t think that to be the case.”

He takes comfort, then, in the way you hug him goodbye, your cheek pressed against the cotton of his cardigan, eyes shut against the light. He tenses, only for a second, before his arms curl around you, resting against your coat.

“We should do dinner.”

He mumbles into your hair, before he can stop himself.

A real date.

And you do. You have dinner, and he makes you laugh, even though it’s quiet, like a bell ringing at Christmas, tiny, joy-filled, and the star in his chest just glows. Your face is tense, though, and he can’t figure out why. You won’t say. either. You never do. You keep your responses composed, and careful, calculated. Like you’re afraid. He wonders why, but won’t press it. You are made of nervous energy. He knows this now.

A few months, of appointments for both of you and cases for him where he aches for your hand in his and coffee and dinner and museum dates, and one ice skating excursion he will not mention, and then—

He makes another mistake then, when he asks you to come over, after a case.

“Just for coffee, or to talk, not to-you know, unless that’s what you want, I—“

Yet, that’s how he ends up with you in his bed, in his lap, your warm hands sliding over his skin like you’re in awe, your wide eyes meeting his own, because he dimmed the lights, and thank God neither of you are hurting right now.

He takes you apart, piece by piece, with his mouth on your collarbone and fingers across your ribs, learning, seeking to know. Because that’s what he wants, to know you, fully, in every way he can, until there’s nothing left for him to study.

After he watches you tremble under him, with his name on your lips, he realizes he’ll never be able to memorize all of you. You’re too extensive, with the blush on your cheeks and the way you cling to him and the way your eyes sparkle for a moment, just a moment, before they dim again.

You’re tucked into him, under his chin, as he traces shapes mindlessly into your back with his fingertips. He feels that star, burning bright in your arms, for millennia to come.

“I love you.”

You smile against his chest, before you speak again, choked up.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Whyever not, angel girl?”

Because you are like an angel, come down from the heavens, his angel, gracing his life during some of the most incredible pain he’s ever felt.

“They told me I’m dying. They found the source of it all.”

And the star fizzles, and sparks, and slowly, a cold ice begins to dwell where the star was. Months fly by, and yet drag, each day feeling long but the weeks short.

He finds himself in the hospital - miraculously, his migraines have given him respite today - your hand in his, his eyes on you. You don’t say much, you never did, but now, he feels like you don’t ever speak at all.

Until you do.

“Spence?”

The light in his chest flickers, illuminating his darkness.

“Yes, angel?”

“Can you talk? About anything? I just wanna hear you.”

He nods, and his voice gets quiet, almost breathless, the longer he speaks.

“Did you know that stars actually are simultaneously pulling apart and being pushed together? The heat from inside the star creates a pressure that causes the atoms to separate, but the gravity attraction forces them back together, as it burns. The bigger a star is though, the less time it takes to go through that fuel.”

He stops, looking down at you. He wonders if you’re listening.

“But when the heat is gone, when it stops burning, there’s nothing to counteract the gravitational pull, and—“

And it collapses in on itself.

“And it just sort of sucks everything else in without its heat, the light, if it’s large enough. Pulling everything in, everyone in-“

He’s said too much. You open your eyes, your voice barely a whisper.

“I don’t want you to do that. You won’t, Spencer, I swear.”

In a rare moment of strength, you tug yourself up, to hold his face in one hand.

“You burned before me. You’ll burn again.”

He nods, desperately trying not to weep.

But I won’t burn like I did with you.

“The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can.”

- Anna Todd

[amomentsescape]

Slashers x reader with prosthetics - and I mean like both legs and arms are prosthetics.

Reader will usually wear baggy/long clothes to hide it.

Slashers with Reader Who Has Prosthetics

Slashers x Reader (Separate)

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

A/N: Thank you for the request, love :)

Freddy Krueger

He actually really likes your prosthetics!

He constantly tries to convince you to "upgrade" them, however

Insists that your prosthetic arm would be much more badass if it had a blade instead of a hand

Whenever you're in his world, he will switch up the colors and styles of your prosthetics in order to prove just how "great" his ideas are

He has yet to convince you

And you intend to keep it that way or else you'll likely injure yourself with your new Freddy-approved prosthetics

Michael Myers

Literally does not care in the slightest

Michael is 100% the type to not care at all with how you look

If wearing loose fitting clothes makes you more comfortable, then that's all fine with him

He hates when you feel any type of self-conscious with your prosthetics

If he doesn't care, then clearly no on else will either

The most straightforward one on this list

If you say anything or get that worried look on your face, he'll stare back at you, his gaze almost a warning

You're the way you are, and that's perfectly fine with him

Jason Voorhees

Jason is going to be gentle with you no matter what

But having prosthetics only makes it worse by an unreasonable amount

He'd probably touch a butterfly rougher than he would touch you

He also likes the baggier clothing on you more

He'll even be happy to lend you some of his clothing if you want

(He melts every time he sees you wearing something of his)

He has trouble touching your prosthetics though

Not for any negative reason but mostly because he's worried he's going to somehow break it and you won't be able to use it anymore

Takes a lot of convincing from your side, but he eventually comes around to holding you and your prosthetics like a normal person would

Without fear he'll ruin everything

Thomas Hewitt

He initially questions you about them once you're comfortable, but after that, he literally does not pay any mind

Like you literally forget sometimes that he even knows since he treats you so normally

And you're honestly super thankful for it

He has occasionally pulled off an arm though because he isn't always aware of his own strength

The pure terror in his eyes every time it happens makes you roll over laughing

As long as you're comfortable and happy, it's all he ultimately cares about

Bubba Sawyer

Hasn't ever really come across prosthetics before so he's mostly just fascinated by it

At first, he thought maybe another family tried to... turn you into their dinner

(He doesn't know any better unfortunately)

Will sometimes play around with your prosthetics whenever you take them off at night

It's like a kid with a new toy, he just wants to see how everything bends and works together

Likes to put them back on you himself too

He thinks of it kinda like putting puzzle pieces together

Besides that, has no reason to think of you any differently than a person without prosthetics

Brahms Heelshire

So he knows what they are, but he isn't super knowledgeable in why you need them

He immediately assumes someone else did this to you and goes into a bit of a rampage at first

But once you explain the full situation, he calms down

Because this is new to him, he does sometimes get frustrated when it takes you a while to complete something from his list of rules

But he gains more understanding and patience as time goes by

He even swaps some rules out, instead helping you bathe and get to bed every night since he knows it can be a lot to take care of him each day

Nothing about the prosthetics changes how he sees you, and he just hopes one day you'll be able to look at yourself the same way he does

Norman Bates

He's so sweet about it all

Will literally help you with the smallest things

You've had to actually sit him down a few times and explain that you can still do things on your own, and he didn't need to pamper you as much as he does

Kisses your prosthetics

(He knows you can't obviously feel any of it, but it's his way of showing his sentiment)

He's bought you a few oversized sweaters and big fluffy socks so you're comfortable too

So supportive about everything

Billy Loomis

Is a bit stunned by it at first, but he adapts quickly

He's big on holding what he considers "you" though

So instead of holding hands, he'll put his arm around your shoulder

Instead of resting your prosthetics legs across his lap, he has you lay your head down there

He just wants to give you the attention and not your prosthetics

He doesn't have any issues with them, he just knows that those tend to be the first thing people notice if you don't hide them, and he wants you to know that he sees you

Stu Macher

A very supportive boyfriend

He'll help you with anything you ask, but he doesn't step in unless you say something first

He wants you to still feel independent

He tries to motivate you to not hide so much in the oversized clothing too

He'll literally wear crazy looking hats or obscene shirts out with you in order to take the attention away from you

No one should see you any differently, and he'll do whatever it takes to help you feel happy out in public

Vincent Sinclair

He has full empathy for you since he knows what it's like to be "physically different" from the rest

Will sit and listen to your story, wanting to know everything he can and how he can help you

He enjoys looking at your prosthetics and the way they move with you

He's a craftsman at heart

Will help your prosthetics look clean and new 24/7

Will hold you close and lend you his jackets and shirts to wear if you want

Whatever he can do to make you feel comfortable, he'll do

Bo Sinclair

He doesn't have a problem with the prosthetics

He just hates that you hide yourself from him

The baggy, oversized clothing is a no-go in his book

If it's truly what makes you feel best, than fine, but he really wants you to step out of your comfort zone and be less insecure

Will verbally and physically reassure you the best he can

He thinks very highly of himself, clearly

So he takes it as a personal offense that you don't see yourself the same way he does

[jinnie-ret]

take a chance with me

lee know x reader

genre: mostly fluff, teeny angst

content warnings: one mention of a stroke (it's not an actual one just Minho malfunctioning lol)

word count: 1.8k

summary: lee know was too scared to express his feelings - lucky you were there to convince him his feelings were mutual

a/n: Umm... hi, lol. It's been a while since I've posted. Hopefully this is a nice surprise hehe

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

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Waking up early each morning and leaving your home at 06:30am would seem like a chore to most people. For you? It was incredibly rewarding to enter the workplace, opening up the front office for the day. Your friends had questioned you wondering how you did it, but helping your parents manage a cat rescue home soothed a part of your soul you didn't know you needed healing, particularly when dreaming of becoming an astronaut, a bus driver or a world famous actor as a child.

Though the biting winds sent a chill through your bones, the sun shone down upon you, rays reflecting off of the icy pavements on your route to work. The weather really couldn't make it's mind up recently. It reminded you of someone.

"Minho, hi! You're early!" you grinned, poking your head out of your scarf that you had wrapped securely around your neck. He seemed to brighten your day even further, as cheesy as it sounded. It was the way he bantered with you, back and forth, exciting you for what witty statement he'd come out with next.

"Visitor's Day, remember?" Minho simply commented, a cloud of air escaping his mouth as his teeth chattered, hands shoved deeply into his coat pockets.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!" your eyebrows furrowed in concern, your own hands digging around your pockets for the schedule of the day. It was a fortnightly occurrence in which you'd accept visitors looking around, hoping to re-home the cats that deserved a place to feel safe, loved and looked after. In fact, it was how you met Minho.

Two years ago was when he first set foot into the establishment, quiet, demure and unfazed. That was, until he was led to the small huts outside where the cats resided. Sneaking out some treats from his pocket, he fed a gorgeous boy he soon named Dori, feeling an instant attachment (the two of them). He tried to find his way back inside, ready to sign some adoption papers, when he stumbled into what he thought was merely a stack of boxes, not initially realising that you were behind them and trying to haul them inside on your own.

"I'm so sorry!" you had gasped apologetically, immediately grabbing a broom to the side and sweeping the rogue pieces of kibble that had escaped it's confines.

"Eh, don't worry," Minho shrugged, trying to play it cool although he couldn't stop himself from giving you a quick scan from head to toe in case he had hurt you, "at least they're not being starved, it's reassuring," he added on, laughing through his nose as he straightened up the boxes of cat food.

"You should see Gingy, he's a chonky boy," you jokes, brushing your hair out of your face and glancing up at him. All you could think was, and later you berated yourself for it, but the cat that got to go home with this one was certainly lucky.

"Oh? What if he heard that?" Minho teases, wondering if you'd feign the dramatics, or even get flustered at the idea.

"He knows," you shake your head and chuckle, making a smarter decision now in only grabbing one box.

"Oh, sorry did you need any-"

"Did you want some help with-"

Comically, you both fell silent simultaneously, feeling awkward that you had spoken over and cut off each other at the same time.

"I'll grab a box," Minho speaks up, moving to stand beside you.

"Oh thank you! That's a great help, truly. I was just going to ask if you wanted those adoption papers," you practically beamed.

"How could you tell?"

"You've got some blue fluff on you. That's from Lilo's hut."

"Actually, his name is Dori."

And when you found out Minho had two other cats and the reasoning behind the name 'Dori', you melted instantly. On the spot. Like, literally on the floor had it not been for the rational part of your brain telling you to stop falling for a man you had just met. Minho's sweet Dori completed his little cat family, the soft, gentle trio of boys.

To say you were Minho's biggest advocate when he admitted to wanting to help out and work alongside you at the Cat Rescue, would be completely right. You had brought him straight to your parents, informing them of how knowledgeable and tender he was in interacting with the cats and the rest was history.

Although, that wasn't where this story ended.

"Did you also forget the key?" Minho snapped you out of your reverie.

"Huh? What- no, here," you grasped the key and eagerly gave it to Minho, unsure if your fingers would have the strength to unlock the door, locking up from the inhumanely cold temperatures.

"Ah, she did remember," Minho smirked, soon having to catch his balance after you impulsively shoved his shoulder a bit too hard with your own.

"Unlock the door, pudding boy," you joked, Minho rolling his eyes in response. He could never let you have the upper hand for too long, however.

"I prefer jagi," he batted his eyelashes at you in an over the top way, making you groan and cover your eyes as a form of protection. You loved it really, you just weren't sure on if you should show it.

Minho had told you many times before that you wore your heart on your sleeve. Whether it was you recklessly running into the middle of the road to save a kitten from being hit, or spending your savings on allowing a family the chance to adopt a cat into their lives, you acted upon your love for others. On the other hand, he knew he was too scared to show you how he really felt. Banter, jokes, 'fake' flirting was the perfect cover up to distract him from his feelings, as well as the ones he hadn't yet recognised you shared.

Oddly, there was an awkwardness in the air between the two of you by the end of the day. Perhaps it was the elderly pair who commented on your selflessness as a couple, or seeing many young partners enter and adopt their first pet together. It triggered emotions within you both that had remained hidden for too long. You weren't just good friends, but you were made for each other. The love of cats; the gentleness you exuded and he let slip more often than he'd like to admit and the ease in which you both took in pushing the others' buttons.

Minho always thought you were bolder than him.

"Do you ever think we'll find love, Minho?" you yawned, sweeping up the remnants of dirt that had escaped the many pairs of shoes that entered the home today.

"We?" Minho paused, his grip on the mop slipping ever so slightly before he regained his composure, "I'm not really searching."

Of course he wasn't, not when-

"But is that because you’ve already found it? I don’t want to be bold but-" you nearly scolded yourself for daring to speak when your mind was all over the place.

"That would shock me if you weren’t," Minho snorted, easily falling back into his natural self.

"I'm being real, right now, Min," you squeezed your eyes shuts, back facing him and not wanting to face rejection.

"That's good, here's me thinking you were an illusion all along-"

"Just take a chance, Minho! With me. I-if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll still be friends, we’ll figure it out," you glanced over at him cautiously. Whilst your words were rushed and fumbly, your actions were timid.

Minho's brain malfunctioned. Is this what it felt like to have a stroke? Did you just confess your love for him? Wasn't it just another bit of banter?

"We're friends?" he teased, in that tone he always used. It now felt like a painful reminder, that you'd never truly get through to him. Really, he was testing the waters, and masking it as usual.

"I wish you would just be honest with me," you sighed quietly, your posture slightly hunched. Minho didn't like that. He liked when you stood tall, confident, proud.

"About what? I haven’t lied about anything," Minho busied himself with mopping the floor in order to distract himself from you. As long as he could see the shine in the wooden flooring panning across the entrance of the home, it was enough to put the aside the guilt he felt when the sparkle in your eye dimmed ever so slightly.

The days seemed to drag on endlessly after the unspoken rejection from the guy you had been crushing on for years, now. He hadn't opened up with you in a while - that's the shop we're talking about, not Minho and his thoughts and feelings. He hadn't ever really done that with you, minus a couple of short, rare occasions. Your parents had noticed the slight dullness that seemed to tie the two of you together, it taking a lot of convincing from them to you to lead another Visitor's Day with Minho. The only convincing factor for you in that moment had been when you drifted off into your own thoughts, fading away from the lecture you were receiving and instead finding comfort in the fact that it would be a busy day. There would be no time to think when you were working.

But when it came to the end of both of your shifts? Too much time to think, to dwell, to ponder.

"Well, umm, bye," you nodded politely at him and robotically waved with how stiff you felt in looking at him. Yet it seemed to give ample opportunity for Minho to grab your hand and pull you back towards him before you could rush away, just like he had regrettably done all those evenings ago.

"Oh, what's this about?" you questioned, praying that your hands didn't start getting clammy simply from being so close to him in this way.

"We're going on a date," Minho firmly stated, but his words didn't match his actions, his eyes shyly trailing off to the side and the tops of his ears turning red. How endearing.

"No."

"No?!"

"You can look me in the eyes and say it."

Oh, yes, he had definitely gotten lucky with you. Even though his heart pounded in worry that you would reject him too and he would have been too late, he was able to look you in the eyes and throw a one liner right back at you.

"Hmm, maybe I change my mind," Minho shrugged, feigning a carelessness and dropping his hand from yours.

"Hey! Come on!" you pulled him back towards you, chest to chest, an intense amount of love pouring from both of your souls as you gazed into each others' eyes.

"I'm taking you on a date," Minho affirmed, poking your nose to startle you before you realised he too had been on another planet.

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tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @katzline @kiwihrt @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @his-angell @2minstan @skzoologist @lovingchan @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria @theo4eve @linoalwaysknows @royal-shinigami @jolly04 @turtledove824 @yangbbokari @thisrandomgoofy15 @lieslab @hannamoon143 @arumlilyeclipse

[hyuniemyunie]

could you do an imagine about jun-hee (player 222) from squid game x male reader, with the reader being a guard and helping her in the bathroom and then them being hidden together

guard reader helping kim jun hee*ੈ✩‧₊˚

male reader!

sfw

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･

ᯓ★ The first time the guard, you, bring her food, Jun-hee freezes, unsure if it’s some kind of trap. She’s been conditioned to see the guards as ruthless enforcers, not..allies, especially not to her.

ᯓ★ “Why are you doing this?” she whispers sharply, her eyes darting around the room as if expecting someone to burst in.

ᯓ★ Even after the second or third time, she’s still wary. She eats the food but watches the guard closely, waiting for the moment when he might turn on her.

ᯓ★ She hesitates to speak at first, her guard (no pun intended ahah..sorry.) firmly up. She’s not used to kindness in this place, and it feels too good to be true.

ᯓ★ Over time, she starts to see that the guard’s actions are genuine. You bring her things she needs. water, extra blankets, or even something to ease her pain.

ᯓ★ “Thank you,” she mutters one day, avoiding your gaze. It’s the first time she’s expressed gratitude, and it catches even her by surprise.

ᯓ★ She begins to wonder why you're helping her. Are you just a good person? Do you pity her because she’s pregnant? Or is there something else?

ᯓ★ “You’re risking a lot for me,” she says one day, her voice quiet but firm. “I don’t understand why.”

ᯓ★ For the first time since entering the games, Jun-hee feels a flicker of safety. She knows it’s fleeting, but the small acts of kindness give her hope.

ᯓ★She starts looking forward to the brief moments when you come to check on her, your silent presence a small comfort in an otherwise hostile environment.

ᯓ★ One day, when the you hand her food, she doesn’t just take it silently. Instead, she looks up at you and says, “You don’t have to do this, you know.” Her voice is softer than before, almost grateful. you don’t respond, but your lingering gaze tells her enough.

ᯓ★ As her trust grows, so does her fear for you. She knows how dangerous it is for you to be helping her, and she begins to worry about what might happen if you're caught.

ᯓ★ “You shouldn’t be here,” she whispers one day, her hands clutching the food you've brought. “If they find out…” yet you shush her, shaking your head before she could finish her sentence.

ᯓ★ Though you don’t talk much, or at all, Jun-hee starts to notice little things about you. the way you linger a moment longer than necessary, the slight softness in your movements.

ᯓ★ She begins to feel a quiet connection, even though she knows nothing about you—not even your name, or hell, your face.

ᯓ★ She starts paying close attention to your movements. Even though you wear a mask, she notices how your posture softens when you're with her, the way your head tilts slightly when she speaks.

ᯓ★ you, the guard, isn’t used to comforting someone, and his attempts to help her with pain or offer support are clumsy but endearing.

ᯓ★ Once, when she winces from a sharp cramp, he awkwardly hand her a warm cloth. She chuckles softly, despite the pain. “Thanks… I think.”

ᯓ★ you don’t talk much, but Jun-hee begins to feel like you understand her struggles in a way no one else does.

ᯓ★ Sometimes, they’ll sit in silence for a few moments before you leave, and she finds the quiet companionship strangely comforting.

ᯓ★ The guard starts bringing her little things beyond just food—extra socks, a scrap of fabric to use as a makeshift pillow, even a tiny trinket he found somewhere.

ᯓ★ She holds onto these items like lifelines, each one a reminder that someone cares about her and her baby’s survival, unlike the actual father of it.

ᯓ★ One day, the guard brings her something unexpected—an extra ration of fruit, the first fresh food she’s had in weeks. She laughs softly, the sound surprising even herself. “You’re full of surprises,” she says, her smile genuine for the first time since entering the games.

ᯓ★ Despite her initial reluctance, Jun-hee starts to depend on the guard’s visits. His small acts of kindness become the only thing keeping her grounded in this death game.

ᯓ★ Jun-hee knows she can’t fully trust anyone in the games, but the guard comes closer than anyone else ever has, comes closer to a father her baby never had.

[toyourheartandback]

THOUGHT OF YOU (18+)

luke castellan x reader

even after everything he has done and everything he will be doing you can’t say no to luke

word count: 2.13k

MDNI! warnings: smut, foreplay, p in a v, sweet loving sex (because i’m a romantic sorry), reader has a female anatomy and bad english as always

a/n: don’t judge pls, it took me months to write this between exams and life being shitty. i just hope you like it and i apologize for not being able to be active :(

exam season was finally over. you were just returning home after going out with your classmates, celebrating before everyone separated for the summer. exhausted and slightly tipsy, you fumbled in the dim hallway, desperately searching your apartment keys. as you reached to unlock the door, your halfblood’s instincts flared to warn you that something was wrong. someone had picked the lock of your house.

your heart raced as you slipped the knife hidden from your boot and pushed the door open, stepping inside. the living room was dimly lit, but you knew what to expect. luke castellan was there, leaning casually against the back of your sofa, as though he belonged. without hesitation, you pressed the blade to his neck. he still smelled like woodsmoke and peanut butter, a scent that once smelled like home. "i should kill you right now," he didn’t flinch, instead he chuckled at your words, the low vibration making his skin graze the edge of your weapon.

"i'm going to lay this on the couch" he smirked as you let him slowly unclasp viper from his belt and set it down as promised, his dark brown eyes never leaving yours. they had always been so beautiful, but they didn't even look like luke's anymore. your bodies were as close as they could get without touching and you could feel the cold radiating from his, so unusual for the boy you once used to snuggle with on chilly nights at camp. "It's just me, toots" his words weren't making sense to you.

he resembled the son of hermes you loved with those dark messy curls and tanned skin, but at the same time he looked nothing like him. luke castellan wasn't the sweet boy who helped you bake cookies for young campers anymore, but a traitor to the gods and to camp halfblood. he should have been that to you too, after everything you knew he had done to annabeth, chris, and everyone you loved. "how do I know he isn't also here?", because there was no way those things were actually done by your tender and perfect luke. it must have been the lord of the titans. your luke would never leave you.

his hands moved slowly, wrapping around yours to gently pry the knife from your grasp and setting it down beside viper on the sofa. "not tonight" luke murmured, his voice softer now. he pulled you closer, trailing every inch of your figure with his cold touch until he reached your waist, sending a shiver through you. your arms instinctively went to his shoulders, an old habit you couldn't seem to break. his nose brushed yours, his breath warm against your lips, his dark eyes locked on you like he was starving.

you knew you should end this. you should take advantage of his vulnerability, strike him down and put an end to the war. but you also longed for the way luke tasted of butter chapstick. you fingers curled into his t-shirt and before you could stop yourself your lips met his. he tangled his hand in your hair, making you moan as he deepened the kiss exactly the same way he knew you liked. "oh, i missed this so much," he murmured softly against your mouth, his mouth breaking slightly, before connecting with you again. he tapped gently on your thigh, a silent request, and you gave in, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried to your bedroom. the way he moved and the way your body fit against his was muscle memory. almost a year had passed since the last time he had been here, but it felt like no time at all.

the moment your back hit the mattress, luke's hands slid under your dress as he hovered over you. "are you sure?" he asked, toying with the strings of your panties, pulling back from your lips just enough to talk as his eyes were searching for any hesitation. your mind was foggy and the guilt buried too deep to surface, so you answered yes. you mostly plead him to touch you. that was all he needed. he tugged your underwear down and kissed his way along your neck, his lips exploring every inch of your skin. his mouth was frantic and desperate like he was trying to memorize you.

luke knelt over the edge of the bed, draping your legs over his shoulders as his lips trailed up your inner thighs. his hands pinned you down while his mouth inched closer to your core, your breathing growing heavier with anticipation. "castellan, you better fucking stop being a tease" you squirmed beneath him, your voice thick with need, as he smirked at your words and dragged his tongue along your folds. the boy was taking his sweet time with you, savoring every part of you, knowing full well you would have kicked him out long ago if you didn't want this as much as he did. you groaned and pulled him closer by his soft hair.

he pressed his mouth against your clit, his tongue twisting circles over it that sent waves of pleasure trough you. a loud sigh left your lips and your head fell back against the mattress. your fingers tangled in his messy curls as you gripped tightly as you were pleading him for more. his playful dark eyes met yours as his chin glistened already with your arousal. “what do you want from me, toots?” his voice low and mischievous, while his thumb was playing with you bundle of nerves. he was never going to stop being a fucking tease. “i want you” you whimpered, trying to desperately pull him closer for a kiss as you cupped his flushed cheeks. he obliged with a brief provoking peck before pulling back with a grin on his face. “how?” he asked amused. “inside of me” you breathed, almost a whisper. “please”

you gasped sharply, your breath hitching as you suddenly felt two of his finger slide inside you. “fuck,” you exclaimed when luke started to pump them, hitting the spot that makes you feel your stomach twist. “you know that’s not what i wanted” you managed to protest between breathy moans, your words faltering under the sweet assault of his lips on your neck. he only chuckled softly between kisses, his warm breath fanning against your skin. his free hand roamed over your chest, fingers teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your dress. “patience” he murmured as he tugged down the straps with ease to expose your breasts to the cool air. “i told you,” his lips found one of your nipples and without hesitation he sucked gently, drawing a gasp from you. “we have the whole night for ourselves.”

this time you let his head dip between your legs without protesting. his tongue and fingers were working perfectly together, drawing you closer and closer to your edge. his strong grip was pinning you down on the bed by your stomach as your mind started to feel hazy and your core seemed to be twisting and unraveling at once. by the time you voice was reduced to broken gasps and choked breaths and your hands were grabbing the fresh sheets beneath you to anchor yourself, you let your orgasm hit tearing through you like a storm. luke didn’t seem to be fully satisfied as he continued at his relentless pace, making you come a second time with a choked cry and a guttural, uncontrollable scream.

luke finally let you go, sweeping with his tongue your pleasure off his fingers and face to savor every trace of you. you were still trembling, struggling to steady yourself, when his low laugh broke the silence. “i missed your taste so fucking much” he murmured, his words full with adoration as his gaze locked onto yours. his eyes were so deep and tender, that for a fleeting moment it reminded you of the boy you fell in love back at camp. without thinking, you let yourself collapse into his lap, your knees pressing into cold and hard floor beneath the both of you, holding the sweet head counselor of the hermes’ cabin into your arms. your palm found his cheek as your finger traced his beautiful scar. “i miss you” you breathed, the confession slipping past your lips before you could stop it. the truth that you were trying to hide from everyone, even yourself, for so long made you feel both terrified and liberated.

luke’s brows furrowed in a mix of awe and longing, and his stare deepened, darkened, as though he was memorizing every inch of you. then, without hesitation, he closed the space between you in a raw, desperate and messy kiss. his mouth moved against yours with an open and unrestrained hunger as if he was trying to pour all of his emotions into this very moment. he separated from you not to hesitate, but only to get rid of your annoying dress and you mirrored his urgency to strip him of his equally irritating clothes. you were already out of breath again as his strong hands gripped your hips and pulled you against him, making you gasp at the feeling of his erection humping your core. “luke,” you whispered, your mouth trembling between kisses. “i need you” he didn’t waste a second to reach the condom in your second drawer from the top near your bed that he knew all too well of and roll it on himself without his gaze ever leaving yours.

you steadied yourself with an hand on his shoulders as he gently guided you down and you slowly took every inch of him. a gasp escaped your lips at the feeling of luke filling you completely, as perfect as he always fit like you two were made to be united by the gods themselves. he cupped your face, tangling his fingers into your hair, and pulled your foreheads together. “you mean everything to me” he murmured before kissing you. your chest tightened, for this night you let yourself believe his words, and started to roll your hips against his in search of the perfect rhythm.

each movement sent waves of pleasure coursing trough you, leaving you panting. your knees were bruising and scraping against the floor of your room. luke carefully moved your legs around him and lifted both of you on the bed behind you, pounding into you before your back could even meet the mattress. his soft moans and kind touch were the only thing keeping you grounded to the moment even as your mind was threatening to drift away under the overwhelming gratification of your bodies entwined. a whimper of his name escaped you like a prayer as your nails dug into the firm muscles of his back. his thrust grew faster, more urgent, as he approached his peak and with a groan he buried his head into the curve of your shoulder, his strong arms gripping your waist as if to anchor himself to you.

his hand found yours, fingers intertwining as he held on tightly, grounding himself as he reached his climax. his pushes were becoming sloppier, but were enough to get you through your edge following him as luke tenderly kissed every inch of your skin he could reach. “i love you” he whispered breathless into your lips. “i love you too” your voice was thick with emotions, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. if only he loved you more than his vengeance against the gods.

you gasped softly when he pulled away, leaving behind an hallow ache that mirrored the emptiness you had felt every day since he abandoned you. he discharged the condom carelessly on the floor before collapsing on the bed beside you, pulling you closer against his chest. luke’s warmth was both comforting and cruel. “can you stay until i fall asleep?” you asked, barely above a whisper as though your voice might shatter the fragile moment. your fingers traced aimless patterns on his skin in a desperate attempt to anchor yourself. you were trying to keep yourself together, knowing that if you let yourself dwell on why he was here the tears would spill over. “like i always do” he promised, tugging the covers over your bodies, and pressed a lingering kiss to the crown of your head, pulling you closer as though he could keep the two of you together only with his bare hands.

but luke already had his mother’s blessing and the only thing left was your goodbye.

[sirsparklepants]

I didn't necessarily like Vanessa breaking up with Wade in dp&w, because it did minimize her character and I love her and their relationship chemistry, but it made sense as a trajectory to me, because with the flashback, we see stress happening along an existing consistent faultline in their relationship.

In the first movie, the reason Wade is even in the program with Francis is because he unilaterally made a decision in their relationship to not allow Vanessa to support him through his cancer, even though she expressed that she wanted the exact opposite. She's clearly still searching for him and interested in resuming their relationship based on the way she immediately goes out to try and find him when she's lured out and kidnapped, despite the strong possibility he's already dead. She never gave up on him the way he did himself, and yet, Wade never comes back to her, because he's imposed his own idea of what she would think and want on her and used that to make another unilateral decision. Which she's clearly angry about in the finale, despite being willing to take him back! And completely understandably.

In the second movie, we obviously don't see a lot of their relationship, but we can tell that Wade doesn't let her in on any details of his work by the way he makes excuses to her about being late for their anniversary, which again, she's annoyed by. And when his work literally gets her killed, she isn't angry in the afterlife (if we take those scenes as given instead of happening in Wade's head exclusively, which I've always wondered about, but given how self loathing he can be, I would think that a Vanessa in his head would blame him). In fact, she even jokes about it in dp&w, or at least that was my read - it felt very like their trauma one-upping in the first film to me.

So what do we know about their breakup from dp&w? Well, we see the scene where Wade interviews with the Avengers and says "my girl is sick of my shit", and a conversation in flashback that's been manipulated by Cassandra. But before she has Vanessa tell Wade "you'll never matter", it seems to me like they're having a completely different conversation - one where Vanessa is asking him to open up to her and let her share his burdens, which is consistent with the rest of their relationship. And it seems like to me that that conversation takes place after his Avengers rejection, given that she says he got knocked down and can't get back up again (although this is debatable), and if so, implies that she stays with him beyond that and tries to help him out of the resulting depression. Since Wade has previously imposed his own ideas of what Vanessa would want and believe about him over what she's actually been saying, that seems consistent to their previous issues. And it's exhausting to try again and again to get someone to open up and share with you when you can clearly tell there's a problem and not be allowed in or allowed to help. I can't blame her for not being able to handle that after a while!

But even after their breakup, she still cares for him and wants him to be in her life, or else why would she be in his family picture and at his birthday party? She's still happy to be seated next to him and hold his hand, no matter what else the ending meant. The fact that their relationship has ended didn't change that. Maybe the fact that Wade found a purpose again (I don't think that it would necessarily be superheroing that she would want, but Wade's self-worth is tied up in 'proving' he's important, and saving the universe gave him a boost there) made her hopeful that they could rekindle their relationship with less of those problems, maybe she was just happy to hear that he still cared deeply for her - with how awkward their interaction was the first time around, I could see that - but she wasn't put off by it in the least. Their closeness is important to her, no matter what their relationship is, and I'm glad that whatever else, dp&w kept that.

And if I said that I think Vanessa treated Wade poorly in Deadpool and Wolverine, and that I think she was a complete dickhead for asking him to "prove" his live after everything he went through for her. What then?

And what if I said Logan treated him better theought the entire movie than Vanessa did in the last 2 films of the trilogy? And that they had more chemistry and soft moments? What then?

[thelittlewarrior98]

Hello!

So I know that this is an absolute long shot, but I wanted to share this here anyway in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help me coz I literally just don't know what else to do at this point 🥺🙏

My name is Holly-Jayne but most people call me Daisy, I'm 26 years old and I've been a part of the Phandom for over a decade now like D+P have pretty much always been my most favourite YouTubers and humans in the whole entire universe 💜

I've unfortunately never been able to see them live during any of their tours though as I've just sadly never been able to afford it!

It's always been one of my biggest ever dreams to finally go to one of their shows and maybe even meet them so I can finally thank them personally for everything they've ever done for me 💜

But then late last year I suddenly got very very sick to the point where I became bed bound and wheelchair bound and could no longer eat or drink anything without throwing up and I ended up losing way too much weight to the point where I genuinely looked like a living corpse and I was soooo so tired and in so much pain all the time and I even started struggling to breathe, but then after going through all of this for about 4 months as well as countless doctor appointments, miss-diagnosis including being told it's just anxiety and is all just in my head and also have to stay in hospital got about a week or so, I was very sadly diagnosed with Stage 4 (Terminal) Serous Carcinoma Ovarian Cancer that has spread to multiple areas of my body and I have now also completely lost my fertility because of it 😔💔

I also apparently had over 2 litres worth of fluid on my lungs which is why I was struggling to breathe and could barely even walk up the stairs without my legs just completely giving way.

So I've had to endure 6 very difficult and grueling rounds of Chemo which I actually finished around 2 months ago and I'm now on a targeted treatment that I have to have every 3 weeks for about a year and I also have to take blood thinners every single day for up to 2 years due to a rather big blood clot that they also found on my lung during my 1st round of Chemo!

I also almost died again during my 2md round of Chemo as I had a very bad reaction to it and stopped breathing for a couple of minutes......

We've had quite a few scares which I guess is just my new normal now, but i now as back to normal as I can be with Cancer and I'm very slowly but surely getting my life back together and just trying to live my life as much as I can for as long as I can as even though I'm terminal, I'd like to believe that I'll still be around for many many years to come and D+P have especially helped with his as watching their videos through all of the dark and scary times have always just completely cheered me up and put a smile on my face and they still give me the motivation and determination to fight and stay as strong and healthy as I possibly can be 💜

So yeah, it's probably been the most hardest and most painful year of my life, plus my grandad very sadly and suddenly passed away last October just before all of this happened and then we also very sadly lost my aunt in May of this year after a 16 year long battle with Cancer and my nan was also unfortunately diagnosed with Leukemia around the same time as my own diagnosis, so 2024 just hasn't been kind to us at all!

Soooo so much grief, pain and trauma that we're all still trying to deal with 😔💔

So yeah, when D+P announced the TIT I was absolutely BEYOND happy and excited like yessssss another chance for me to finally go and see them and potentionally meet them if I can get an M&G ticket and finally just something for me to look forward to after this very crappy year!!

But alas, time and luck once again just weren't on our sides as when the tickets were released for both dates we just so happened to be at the hospital for appointments and treatment and they all sold out before I even had a chance to try and buy them 😭💔

So I tried to use one of my wishes to see and meet them instead, but we've unfortunately just found out that the company no longer have any money and can't fulfill people's wishes anymore!!

But the thing is, we submitted the wish absolutely months ago like back when the tickets had just sold out and we never heard back from them at all until now when our macmillan nurse got in touch with them a few days ago, so they never even bothered to tell us which is really annoying and inconvenient because we could have maybe sorted something else out by now, but now we've only got a couple of weeks left and we're just at a complete loss as to what to do as this could literally be my last ever chance!!

Really starting to lose hope over ever getting to see or meet them now and I'm absolutely devastated as we just don't know when or if they'll ever go on tour again and even if they do, who knows if I'll still be here by then or how my health will be!!

I mean I'm always staying as optimistic and hopeful as possible, but we still just never really know......

So yeah, I just wanted to share this in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help in any way at all??

Idk how or what could be done or anything, but I thought it was worth a shot anyway as I've pretty much got nothing to lose at this point!

I was hoping for Manchester on the 29th btw as that's the only date that I'm able to do.

Thankyou soooo so much for reading all of this if you've actually made it this far, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!

I'm in this Phandom business for life haha 🤣💜 @danielhowell @amazingphil @danandphilupdates @danandphilhq @danandphilnews @danandphilsaltsquad

[hansmic]

-when someone mistakes you for being a couple-

han jisung x gn! reader

*not proofread*

————————————————————————-

You and Jisung were on a walk when someone approaches you and says “You guys look like a nice couple”. Jisung stopped walking immediately. “I'm sorry what?” he asked to make sure he heard them correctly, as he slowly took a step closer to the person while also motioning for you to come closer too. 

“Uhh.. i said you guys look like a nice couple?”. The person responds again, more nervously this time.

He blinks as he takes in what they said. Then he turns to you. “What do you think babe?”

You can only nod, your face turning red. “Thank you”. He says finally, smiling at the person as I take your hand. “Come on babe, lets keep walking” he says, walking away slowly, dragging you along. You follow, dazed. He pulls you away just far enough to be out of earshot before he stops walking and turns to face you. “Im sorry,” he says, giving you a sheepish smile. “ i figured it would be fun to pretend we were actually dating.”

You can only nod at first, before finally clearing your throat and saying, “Its okay.”

He gives you a small smile before he glances at your hands, which are still intertwined and he blushes. “Did you want to hold hands to keep the illusion?” he asks

You shake your head , “No it's fine.” You say quickly, dropping his hand. Your heart pounding in your chest and your palms are already sweaty as you try to figure out what to do with them, finally settling for shoving them in your pockets.

“Oh.” he says a little sadly, letting his arms drop to his sides. He looks at the ground nervously. “You dont want to?” he asks, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice, but it still comes through. He wants to take out your hand but stops himself. “I know it was silly to pretend we were dating.” He says. “But i wasnt pretending that i wanted to hold your hand.” He adds shyly.

You freeze. “Wait what?” You ask, unsure of what he means. You were so ready for him to say it was just a joke, just asking that theres no way hes serious.

He shifts his weight nervously. “I like holding your hand.” he manages to speak out, embarrassed. Jisung’s cheeks turning bright red. He looks like he wants to say more but hold back.

You cant think, or speak. Youre pretty sure youll combust if you try. So instead, you just hold out your hand.

He glances up from the ground to see you holding out your hand. “Really” He asks. When you nod, he takes your hand and intertwines your fingers. “I really like you” he says , almost whispering. 

Your heart is racing as you take his hand. You think you should say something, but all you can think is “He likes me. He likes me ” over and over. Finally you manage to say “i really like you, too.”

He finally looks up at you, a smile on his face. I pull you close, wrapping his free arm around your waist. “Can i kiss you?” He asks, my heart fluttering nervously in my chest.

You wrap your arms around his neck, smiling. “I thought youd never ask.” You whisper, before leaning in to him for a kiss. He smiles wider at your response, and close the distance between both of you, pressing his lips against yours. Kissing you is even more amazing then he imagined it would be. His arms tighten around you, as he deepens the kiss. You kiss him back, pulling him closer, kissing back eagerly. You never want the kiss to end. You realize now that youve been waiting for this to happen, but didnt dare to hope that it actually would.

You eventually pull away, both smiling like idiots at each other. “That was Amazing.” You say breath. “Ive been waiting to do that for so long," he adds shyly.

“ i thought you'd never do it” The thought makes you a little sad, but happy that it finally happened to help balance it out. You lean in and kiss him on the cheek. “Im glad you did though”

He smiles at the kiss on the cheek. “I really wanted to, i just didnt know if you liked me as more than a friend.” He tightens his arms around you to pull you a bit closer. “But now i know you do, i would very much like to be your boyfriend”

You pull him even closer, snuggling as close as you can. “ i would like that very much.”

———————————————————————

I hope you liked it! make sure to read my others!

my masterlist is here

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet-Cute - Zoro's Story - 6

Source for pic

Trouble 6

Word Count: 4648

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Protective!Zoro; Soft!Zoro; Sexual Tension; Teasing; Flirting; Mature Audiences (I'll always tag the NSFW chapters); Modern Day AU; Reader is being stalked; Fear; Paranoia; Angst; Rom-Com Vibes; Mild Gore-like Descriptions; Blood; Dead Animals Mentioned; Reader in a terror-like state; Fluff; Romance; Banter; Manipulation; Miscommunication; Frustration; Reader is very clumsy;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Zoro are slowly returning to your easy friendship filled with banter and flirting and you actually begin to glimpse a future with the green-haired cop. But then you start to receive weird gifts. They quickly escalate to manipulative texts. And now you're stuck in a spiral of terror and there's no way to get help because the Stalker, whoever he is, is threatening something other than just your life.

Notes: I really thought I wasn't going to get this chapter out this weekend! I had a very tough week and I really wanted to share something good with you guys. I hope you enjoy it.

Masterlist

You can't sleep. 

Not only because the room is still spinning around you - a sensation that only gets worse when you close your eyes - but also because you can't stop replaying what happened. 

Zoro's lips, Zoro's breath, Zoro's firm grip. Zoro, Zoro, Zoro. It all comes back to him. 

You suppress a squeal into your sheets and cover your face with them, your feet kicking the comforter while you grin maniacally. You feel like a teenager in love. 

Oh… 

No, not love. It's too soon for that. But it's a heavy crush. And damn it, you want to act on it right now. 

Why the hell did your alarm start blaring out of nowhere? You don't even have an alarm set, the rooster is enough as a wake-up call. 

Stupid phone. 

And damn criminals. You were about to kiss again, but someone had to commit a crime serious enough to drag Zoro back in. Damn drunkards. 

A heavy sigh parts your lips as you emerge from beneath the sheets. You try closing your eyes again, and just when you're fighting vertigo, your phone buzzes. 

Your heart skips a beat, and the silly grin finds its way back onto your lips. It must be Zoro. You unlock it and squint against the bright light before dimming it. 

Unknown: You looked gorgeous tonight, Kitten. 

What? It must be a wrong number. You ignore it, ready to lock your phone again, trying not to feel disappointed, but it buzzes again. 

Unknown: You're a happy drunk. Makes you loose. You're cute. Too cute. You attracted too much attention.  Unknown: But it's okay. I took care of him just for you. Can't have any other men ogling what's mine, can I? 

You sit up, trying to figure out the meaning behind the texts. They can't be meant for you. 

You: Wrong number.  Unknown: Oh, no, Kitten. I've got the right number.  Unknown: Sleep tight, Princess. I'll keep watch. 

You delete the texts and block the number from your phone. What a creep. Definitely the wrong number. 

But you can't seem to shake that familiar unease in your stomach. Nor the way your heart is thumping against your ribcage. 

You keep telling yourself the texts weren't for you. Lying down, you close your eyes, willing sleep to come fast. Somehow the walls feel closer, the air seems staler, your clothes tighter. 

All giddiness is now gone, and though you wish Zoro would say something, you fear hearing your phone buzz again. 

Even if it's the wrong number. 

Right? 

-*-

Morning comes too soon, and now you're rethinking your life choices. You shouldn't have drunk that much. 

“Shut uuuuuup!” The pillow muffles your scream, but even if it didn't, it's not like the rooster can hear you yelling at it. 

With a heavy sigh and a low grunt, you get up, ready to start your morning, dreading all the chores since your head is still pounding and your throat feels drier than the desert. 

You don't even recall the texts you received yesterday, they're so far back in your mind that they seem like a dream. You still feel the faint brush of Zoro's lips against yours, though. 

It's not until you open the door to go outside that the eerie events of last night swim back to the forefront of your pounding head. There's another box waiting for you. 

You hesitate, your hand hovering over the handle of the door and your feet staggering backwards. Should you just ignore it? 

Biting your lower lip, you take a tentative step out onto the porch, your eyes scanning the property, almost expecting something - or someone - to jump out. 

Your eyes fall back on the package. It's crumpled, and there's no ribbon. It also seems dirtier. Is it…? Blood? 

It can't be. 

Clenching your teeth and taking a deep breath, you kneel down, acting braver than you actually feel and ignoring the trembling of your hands as you open the box. 

You're not sure if your scream actually leaves your lips or if it only stays in your head. But the incessant pounding of your heart is so loud that it's all you can hear. 

There are two bloody eyeballs staring right at you inside the box. 

-*-

“You think they're a match, Cap?” Zoro raises the plastic bag upwards so it catches the morning sun. The eyeballs, wet and glassy on their surface, stare back at Zoro, a lifeless dullness in the irises, though blood still lingers on them. 

“Unless there's someone else with missing eyeballs, Roronoa, I'd say they're a match.”

Zoro's deadpan look doesn't seem to faze Mihawk one bit as he looks around the scene, coordinating his team. 

“Why here?”

Mihawk’s gaze falls on the vast scenery, a slight breeze dishevelling his hair as a hawk glides effortlessly in the sky. Then he looks back at the coin-operated binoculars, where tape still sticks from holding the eyeballs in place, his team still busy gathering all evidence before disrupting the scene further. 

They're at the overlook. 

“It seems like they were sending another message. What do you reckon it is?”

Zoro hands the bag over to one of his colleagues and steps closer to the binoculars, his gaze landing downwards, scanning the town's buildings, the beach in the distance, and the Ferris wheel from the fair. 

His department doesn't have detectives, they're too small, and Mihawk is a seasoned cop. They never had enough crimes - or crimes grisly enough - to justify it. But Mihawk - even though he'd rather die than admit it - has taken Zoro under his wing, so, when an investigation comes by, Zoro acts as a lead investigator, even if he's not officially a detective. 

And Mihawk likes to test him.

“I'd say it means they're watching. Or something like it.”

Mihawk hums appreciatively, his eyes still scanning the vast horizon. “I agree. But I would delve even further.” He gestures with his hand. “The overlook was not randomly chosen, I believe. If that was simply the message, they could've taped the eyes to any given binoculars, and the message would come through, right?”

Zoro nods, his gaze landing on your father's farm, and he feels a slight clutch at his chest. “The overlook has a view of the entire town.” 

“Exactly, Roronoa. They're not simply watching. They're watching everything.”

-*-

Fake. They're not real eyeballs. They're plastic eyeballs smeared in red paint. 

But damn it if they didn't give you a fright. 

Who the hell would even consider this a practical joke? Usopp? Luffy? Would any of them do this? Most likely they wouldn't. Their jokes are usually more of the childish kind, not the scary kind. 

With a grumble and a snarl, you shove the gift into the trash can and push it to the back of your mind. 

Freaking gifts. 

Your phone buzzes as you take the first step off your porch, and you freeze as last night's texts slip their way into your mind again. 

Another buzz. 

You swallow hard and take a deep breath. It was just a wrong number yesterday, it doesn't mean it will be another creepy message again. 

Right? 

You try to ignore the way your hand trembles as you reach for your phone or how your heartbeat races. 

Zoro: Hey, Troublemaker. Making trouble? 

A sigh escapes your lips as you sit down on the first step of the porch, both your hands clutching your phone tightly while the sense of dread washes away and a small smile paints your lips. 

You: Not yet! Just got up. You?  Zoro: Didn't even get to sleep yet 😴 Got tangled in a weird-ass case. I'll fill you in later.  You: Later?  Zoro: Got any other plans that don't involve me? Should I be hurt or worried? 

You smirk, the ghost of his lips still tingling on your own, along with the promise of a continuation. 

You: I marked out ‘complete unfinished business’ on my schedule after last night.  Zoro: You did, did you? I'll make sure to get some sleep first, then, since I plan to take my time with you. 

The smirk gracing your lips after you're done exchanging texts remains plastered on your face the rest of the day. 

-*-

“But I just worked an all-nighter, Cap!” Zoro grunts, his hair still disheveled from sleep. 

“And now you're fully rested, Roronoa. Johnny had an emergency, Yosaku is on vacation, and I need you to cover his shift. You can have tomorrow off.”

Fuck. 

“I have plans today.” The sheets fly away from him when he kicks them, though the gesture does nothing to curb his frustration. 

“Yes, I just told you what they were. Besides, Lucci is awake at the hospital and stable. You need to check in on him. I'm hanging up now. I hear enough complaining from my daughter, I don't need it from you either.”

“Fuck!” Zoro curses loudly as he drops the phone onto his bed, raking a hand through his hair to try and chase away the sleep. 

He usually doesn't mind doing extra shifts. He likes the work, and it keeps him busy. But he doesn't usually have dates planned. 

And he really wanted to continue that kiss. 

With another sigh, he picks up the phone again and starts heading towards the bathroom. 

Zoro: Hey, Trouble. Sorry, Cap just called. I need to fill in for a shift. Guess we'll have to postpone our unfinished business for another night. 

It takes you a few minutes to answer back, and he uses them to get ready and slip into his uniform. 

You: Really? 😟 And I bought some really good sake, too… 

The groan he releases now comes from the depths of his soul. Being with you and drinking sake have to be two of his favourite things in the world. 

You: It's okay, Zo. We'll have other opportunities to spend time together!  Zoro: Yeah, you're right. Stay safe, Trouble. 

-*-

Stay safe. 

You smile and sigh, sinking into the cushions of the couch. You had finished your chores earlier to grab that sake for Zoro, taken a nice bath, and were just about to start cooking dinner for two. 

“Well, dinner for one it is.”

Getting up with a grunt, you head to the kitchen and decide that dinner for one might as well be a bowl of cereal. You don't even notice your phone buzzing until you sit down and reach it. 

Unknown: Did you like my gift? 

Uneasiness sets your heart pounding against your ribcage as you drop the spoon back into the bowl with a soft clang and a small splash of milk. 

Gift? The eyes? 

Shaking your head, you delete the text and open a streaming service, searching for a mind-numbing show to shake away the edge. 

Unknown: I don't want anyone to look at you like that, Kitten. Unknown: You're mine. 

Delete, delete. Block. 

You turn the phone screen down and stare at the device as if it’s about to sprout legs and jump at you. It has to be a mistake. Those texts aren't for you. 

Unknown: Cereal is not a proper meal, sweetheart. You need real nourishment.  Unknown: I don't want you to get ill. 

“Fuck.”

The chair scrapes against the floor as you get up abruptly, stride to the front door, and lock and bolt it. You draw every curtain in sight, making sure all locks are in place. But not even all the security measures in the world seem to calm your racing heart. 

“It's a mistake. It has to be. Someone's messing with my head.”

You pace the kitchen after putting the cereal bowl into the sink, the food nearly untouched as your stomach roils and churns in revulsion. 

Unknown: It's not a mistake, Kitten. I'm here for you. You're mine. 

You nearly drop the phone this time as a cold wave of fear rushes through you. Darting your eyes around the room, you half expect someone to jump from the shadows. Everything seems alive, just waiting to pounce at you. 

A hiccupped sob shakes you from your momentary paralysis, and you fumble to unlock your phone again. With shaking fingers you scroll to Zoro's thread while your eyes still dart from every nook and corner of your kitchen back to the screen. 

“Come on, come on.” You whisper as your lungs constrict and the air seems heavier. You start to type, not wanting to call Zoro and disrupt his shift, even though it feels like something he would want to be disrupted for. 

The buzz from your phone makes you gasp and swallow a shallow scream. 

Unknown: Don't tell the cop, Kitten. This is our little secret.  Unknown: You don't want to misbehave, do you? 

No, no, no! This can't be happening. 

Your fingers hover on the letters and you take a deep breath, continuing your text to Zoro. 

Unknown: Don't hit send, Sweetheart. You don't want me mad.  Unknown: Who do you think made your precious cop go to work today? Who do you think made him be dragged to the station yesterday? 

What? 

Your legs give out and you slump on the floor, knees pulled up against your chest as you hug them tightly. 

Unknown: Do you know how easy it would be to lure your hero cop into a trap?  Unknown: I don't mind hurting him like I hurt the other one. 

Other one? 

Unknown: Maybe you haven't seen it yet, Kitten. 

And then there's a link to a local newspaper website. You hesitate, every creak of the old house making you hyper-aware of your surroundings. You still click on it. 

Gruesome crime in the Calm Belt. The police are still baffled as to who could have maimed Rob Lucci, local shipwright, with such a heinous crime. He was found last night after a party without his eyes–

You close the link, the taste of bitter bile rising up your throat. The gift, the fake eyes, Rob Lucci… it was all their work. 

Another buzz draws your attention, and you blink away the tears to clear your vision. It's a picture. 

Unknown: The things I do for you, Kitten. 

You know you shouldn't open it. Your thrumming heart and the coldness rushing through your veins are living proof that you shouldn't open it. 

Yet you do. 

And as you gaze at Rob Lucci’s pained expression, his eye sockets hollow and dripping blood, his mouth drooling while hanging open and at a big, tanned and veiny hand holding two bloody eyeballs, you can no longer stop your stomach from heaving and retching all over the kitchen floor. 

It's your fault Rob Lucci ended up like that. 

And if you tell Zoro about what’s happening, he could be next. 

-*-

“Atchoo!” Zoro sneezes and runs one hand over his nose. 

He's pissed. 

Lucci didn't remember shit from last night. Nothing useful, anyway. Someone stabbed a needle into his neck, whispered a cryptic: ‘You should've never have looked at her’, and next thing he knew, he was in the hospital. 

At least he wasn't awake when they took out his eyes. Could've been much worse. But Zoro didn't tell him that. 

Useless Lucci couldn't even say who ‘her’ might be referring to. He just said he’d hit on a lot of girls at Franky’s party. It could be referring to anyone. Maybe Khalifa, he'd mused, since he'd been hovering over her until the ship docked. 

Zoro felt a bit guilty about the relief that washed over him, the implication about Khalifa leaving you out of this gruesome business. Then he left Lucci to take his painkillers and rest, requesting that an officer keep an eye outside Khalifa’s apartment until someone took her statement in the morning. 

But what's got him even more pissed is the fact that he was looking forward to spending more time alone with you, seeing where you could take things. 

But since he has to take over Johnny's patrol, he can swing by your house for five minutes. Just to see you. Then maybe he can focus on his job instead of the way your lips felt brushing against his. 

Or how stupidly giddy he feels because you wanted to kiss him back. 

That has to mean you like him too. Right? You don't seem like the type to just lead him on. He knows you, and he doesn't think you've changed that much. 

Parking in front of your house, Zoro steps out of the car and raises an eyebrow. There's still a bit of light outside, why are all of your curtains drawn? It doesn't seem like you… Then again, maybe it's because you're all alone in your house. 

With a shrug, he climbs the steps two at a time and knocks on the door. You don't answer so he tries again, trying to shove his apprehension down. You're fine, he talked to you about two hours ago. 

You're fine. 

-*-

You're not fine. 

You hear a car approach and instantly know it has to be Zoro. You barely hold down a sigh of relief, but as soon as you get up, ready to open the door and jump into the safety of his arms, your phone buzzes relentlessly, text after text, without pause. 

Unknown: Don't tell him anything.  Unknown: Don't let him suspect.  Unknown: Don't even think about letting him touch you.  Unknown: I do not make empty threats, Kitten. I don't want to hurt him, but I will.  Unknown: Don't tell him our little secret. 

Your throat dries up and you swallow back a sob. Crying won't help. Nothing will help. 

Zoro could help. 

But you can't tell him. You won't risk his safety. 

Another insistent knock startles you, and you get up swiftly, stopping by the hallway mirror to try and disguise your tears. 

You can't do anything about the fear in your eyes, though. 

Unknown: Don't disobey me. I do not want to punish you. 

You shove the phone into your pocket, and just as you're about to unlatch the lock, Zoro pounds harder on the wooden door. 

“Hey, Trouble, are you okay?”

Deep inhale. You just have to fake it. 

“I'm opening the door, Zo, calm down.” Too shaky. Your words are too hiccuped and weak. 

He'll notice. 

The door swings open, and you try to focus on Zoro's chest instead of his eye. 

“Damn it, I was already considering breaking the door down.”

You force a dry chuckle as he leans on the doorway, a devious smirk on his lips, even though his brow raises slightly when you don't meet his gaze. 

“That's exaggerated.”

“Is it? I wouldn't put it past you to fall down the stairs, or burn yourself, or get trapped behind some furniture. You're that clumsy.”

This time, your chuckle is even drier, and he notices it. Zoro takes a small step forward, his hand reaching as he lifts your chin so you look at him. You flinch, and your phone buzzes in your pocket. 

“Trouble?”

“I'm fine! I just… There's food on the stove. I have to… It’ll burn.” Weak voice, weak excuses. Another buzz, and you pull away from his touch. 

“Is something wrong?” Zoro's eyes dart behind you, inside the house, half-expecting to see someone there. 

“No. I'm just tired. That's all.”

-*-

Tired, my ass. 

You're fidgety, jumpy, and scared. You don't even meet his gaze. The fuck’s going on? 

Zoro tries to get past you, but you block his path. You don't want him inside? What's going on? 

“Do you need help with something? I can spare five minutes.”

For a second, your gaze meets his, and Zoro's heart skips a beat. It's almost as if you're reaching out to him, seeking something. But it's fleeting, and you drop your eyes back down, your body trembling slightly at the same time he hears a faint buzz - your phone?

“No, I'm fine. Everything's all right. You should go.” You take a step back and start to close the door. 

Was it the kiss? Did that mess things up? No, it couldn't have been, or you wouldn't have flirted back with him over texts in the morning. It has to be something else. 

“Bye.” You whisper, but the word doesn't sound final. It sounds like a plea. 

Zoro's hand stops the door, and he reaches again, this time making sure you meet his gaze by holding your face with his hand. 

“You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?” 

-*-

Yes! Yes, you want to tell him so badly! Stay, protect me, help me. I'm being watched, I'm so scared. 

You'd say all of it to him in a heartbeat. Just his presence is enough to make you feel safer. 

But the insistent buzz in your pocket tells you he can't stay. You don't know who the person on the other side of the texts is, but you already know enough to believe his threats. 

You can't risk Zoro’s safety. 

You can't. 

“Come on, Zo. Of course I would. I'm just a bit under the weather, that's all.”

Tired, food on the stove, under the weather? Shit. 

You should just stick to one excuse and run with it. He's never going to believe you like this. 

His hand feels hot against your skin, and so strong. A safety line. And you want to keep him there for as long as possible. 

Unwillingly, you raise your hand and cover his, forcing a smile on your lips. “I'm fine, really.”

He squeezes your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin softly. “You sure?”

Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz. 

With a shaky breath, you fall back, pushing yourself away from him. 

“Yeah, talk tomorrow, okay?”

But you don't let him answer and close the door. You can't pretend anymore. Not when hot, wet tears are burning your eyes, not when your heart is pounding madly against your ribcage, not when your legs give out and you fall to the floor. 

Your hands fly to your mouth and you stifle your sobs against them. It's only when you hear Zoro's car driving away that you reach for your phone, where a mountain of texts stares at you. 

Unknown: Don't let him touch you, Kitten.  Unknown: Tell him you're fine.  Unknown: Tell him you don't need him.  Unknown: You only need me.  Unknown: What did I say about him touching you?  Unknown: Move away, Kitten!  Unknown: You're being very naughty. This won't do.  Unknown: I'm very displeased.  Unknown: That's it, move away. Close the door.  Unknown: Good girl. All is well.  Unknown: You're mine. No one can touch you.  Unknown: No one will touch you.  Unknown: All mine. 

You don't quite know how long you sit on the cold, hard floor, staring at the possessive, disturbing texts. 

You don't quite know how this situation escalated so fast and so far. 

You don't quite know how to feel or what to do in order to escape. 

All you know is that you feel trapped. 

And so, so scared. 

-*-

You don't sleep, even though you locked all the doors, all the windows, and checked them all three times before climbing into your room. 

And even there, you lock the door. The one door you never once locked in your life. 

You spend the night curled into a ball, trying to disappear against the headboard. Flinching at every little sound your old house makes. Every shadow looks threatening, every sound is overwhelming. 

You can't do this. 

You can't be controlled by an invisible threat. You need to tell Zoro. 

You make up your mind. As soon as you get up and take care of the animals, you'll march into the police station and speak to Zoro and his captain. If the police know about it, Zoro is going to be safe. 

He has to be. 

You can't face this alone, and you need him. He'll know what to do, how to find who this man is, how to make this stop. 

Zoro will know what to do. 

-*-

The knocks on the door follow the rooster’s call by around fifteen minutes, and you raise your brow. 

Everything seems less menacing with the morning light. The shadows are no longer threatening since they're brighter, and the sounds are merry, instead of haunting. 

And now that you’ve decided to tell Zoro about your torment, the fear seems far away. 

But you're not expecting anyone this early. “Who is it?” Your voice sounds hoarse and distant. 

“It's Ace, Princess, open up.”

A sigh of relief parts your lips as you unbolt the lock. “Morning, Ace. Want some coffee?”

He looks a bit worried, a single line furrowing his brows as he scratches beneath his ridiculous cowboy hat. “Later. I got started earlier since I have a morning shift at the station, and I waited until I saw you were up, but one of the cows is sick. I called the vet, and they should be here any minute now.”

“What? Oh, no!” You love those cows, some of which you've known your whole life. So, you grab an apple from the counter and close the door, following Ace into the barn. 

Texts, phone, and worries, all forgotten inside the walls of your home as something else takes the forefront of your mind. 

-*-

Ace leaves a bit before his shift starts, but the vet arrives quickly. The sick cow is one of the younger ones, and you spend the better part of the morning with her and the vet, taking a break to make some sandwiches for both of you to serve as a meager lunch while trying to fulfill the rest of the chores and still care for your poor sick cow. 

For a moment, your heart constricts, the thought of losing an animal a weight hanging heavy on your shoulders, but it passes the moment the vet sighs with exhaustion and assures you that the cow is fine. Tired, battered, and hungry, but fine. And she will live. 

You offer some refreshments to the vet since the afternoon sun is already starting its descent in the sky, and it's only after the vet leaves and you sit in your kitchen, tired and weary, that you pick up your phone, which had been forgotten inside the house for most of the day. 

Dread spreads its tendrils across your veins, sending icy chills through you as you stare at the screen. 

Three unanswered calls and half a dozen messages. 

All from Zoro. 

Zoro: Hey, Trouble, just wanted to check in with you, but you must be busy. Call me back.  Zoro: How are you feeling? Still haven't called me back, need anything?  Zoro: Shit, Trouble, I was selected to go on a week-long training retreat with other cops from other stations. It's random and mandatory. The commissioner pulls one of these every now and then. I'll be unreachable. Call me back, will you? 

Unreachable? A week? 

No, no, no! 

You fight the urge to immediately call him as you skim through the other texts. 

Zoro: I'm about to leave, Trouble. I tried calling you again, still nothing. Is everything all right? I can't leave the station now. Call me!  Zoro: Okay, I just spoke with Ace. I hope your cow is feeling better but this is really the last chance to speak to me before I leave. For a week.  Zoro: Be safe, Trouble. Call Nami if you need anything, will you? 

Shit. 

He's gone. Just like that. 

The phone stares at you mercilessly from the table, as if taunting you. Why didn't you bring it with you outside? You needed to speak to Zoro. You wanted him to know. You wanted his help. 

Now you're all alone. 

And someone is watching your every move, making you feel small, trapped, and scared.

Unknown: Don't worry, Kitten. He may be gone, but I've got you.  Unknown: I won't let anyone hurt you.  Unknown: You're mine.

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