#i hope she is. i fucking hope she is.
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i hate. the scaryfulness
#eli.txt#my heart is racing my arms feel weak i am going to fall on the floor and i dont know if im going to get up#why did i get involved in a conversation about a topic i Knew was just going to remind me of her. why did i do this to myself.#shes fucking dead and the power she still holds over me makes me want to throw up. and i cant talk to anyone about it#no one but me and another friend know shes dead. i cant break that information to anyone i dont know how i would.#everyone. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE was friends with her before they realized who she was.#and i cant blame them for not seeing it. i didnt see it either.#she let me believe i had a choice on the matter.#i dont know what im doing anymore#how can she still hold this power over me when shes not even on this fucking earth anymore#i dont even know if shes actually dead.#i hope she is. i fucking hope she is.#i hope i can stop being scared of going to places i love that she frequented. im losing my mind right now.
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack#imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother#random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother#bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was#but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week#this has been weighing on me for ten years#im almost tempted to blaze this post
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14 yrs ago i started playing magic the gathering as a kid, and i had the dream to do art for them
3 yrs ago i tweeted about those dreams:
today i’ve released 11 official magic the gathering cards, and it’s honestly so surreal and insane to me! i did that!! i fulfilled a childhood dream, and i honestly couldn’t be more proud 🥹
#as someone who never had support it’s wild to me to ACTUALLY DO IT BITCH!#my hs counselor said i’d never amount to anything and id be lucky to work fast food#only bc i was disruptive and hated the southern culture i was raised in#hope she chokes on my success :)#pixel art#artist on tumblr#aesthetic#illustration#i am so fucking powerful#i put 18 but it’s rly like 14 yrs ago lmao oops#i edited the age for clarity sake after doing the math!!!!
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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first meeting
#rdr2#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#issac morgan#man sees baby for the first time ever and is surprised that theyre tiny little creatures#arthur being the man he is mustve had SO many emotions holding issac for the first time. and this is all he manages to say in the moment#im lowkey projecting bc when i met my niece i absolutely REFUSED to hold her until i saw her the second time and i was like.#oh my fucking god shes so fucking tiny#anyway. i hope nothing bad happens to them ever<3#btw arthurs clothes come from an edit of a young version of him that i saw#and i also saw a video of someone managing to find a repurposed model of eliza in rdr2s data and shes got dark hair!#so i gave issac dark hair (and arthurs blue eyes<3)#arthurs definitrly into people with dark hair#pspspspsp arthur i have dark hair pspspspspspspsp#AHEM anyway-#sorry i cant draw babies even tho i see one all the time now LMFAO#my art
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can we talk about percy uncovering luke’s true intentions and luke coming clean about wanting to recruit percy as a powerful ally and percy obviously refusing despite sympathizing with the cause because he’s just better than that leading to them dueling, with luke about to strike percy down when annabeth’s blade, the one luke gifted her, the same cursed blade that’ll reap his soul 3 years from now, sealed with the promise of family and new beginnings, knocking into backbiter in luke’s hands, and luke turning to stare at her with the most heartbroken, torn expression on his face and annabeth staring him down with more venom than any pit scorpion could’ve had.
can we talk about annabeth standing in the clearing watching the only man she loves, someone who made a promise to protect her and always have her back, someone she’s known for 5 years, looming over a boy she met mere weeks ago, someone who, despite a godly rivalry getting in the way of their initial friendship, fought for her and saved her and chose her over himself time and time again…can we talk about how the defiance in her gaze made it very clear to luke that the person he’s closest to would choose percy over him every time
#pjo#percabeth#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo tv show#annabeth chase#luke castellan#obviously this isn’t to say she’s throwing their whole relationship away bc her enduring hope and love for him is what saves olympus#but it was just a ‘get fucked’ moment i thoroughly enjoyed#1.08
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I actually like it when ships hurt each other in long lasting and unforgiveable ways. I like it when they leave vicious, glaring scars. I like when they leave traumas. I like when they stab each other and torture each other and ruin each other’s lives and violate every inch of each other’s values. and I like it when they fucking kill each other permanently dead.
#lawlight#death note#l lawliet#light yagami#darklina#shadow and bone#grishaverse#corvo x daud#alina starkov#the darkling#loustat#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#hannigram#'oh he scarred her though!'#good for him#i hope she kills him in retaliation#'but he killed him!'#fuck YES he killed him and it was spectacular#fandomcourse#kinda lol#violence tw#?? not sure how to tag this one#honestly i love fluff and h/c#but that's fanfic#canonically? things are different 😔#myramblings
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I'm not the kind of person that's like "Here let me fix the canon" usually but like holy crap gen 5 implied a lot of messed up shit about our hero Twilight Sparkle lmao
#It almost says something about the dangers of undertakin responsabilities alone#the nuanced idea of putting heroes on a pedestal being inherently self destructive#hell its kind of funny that Sunny idolizing her is objectively wrong#her legacy was a house of cards!#but I digress#I hope this post isnt swinging a bat at a hornet's nest#but y'know#this is also related to my fics lmao#bc of course#twilight sparkle#sunset shimmer#gen 4#gen 5#pony posting#mlp gen 4#my little pony#friendship is magic#Also like. Celestia herslef regretted banishing luna#and shes happier ruling WITH a partner#meanwhile twilight is like “Ok im not even on my thirties time to undertake all of this”#bonkers! Nuts!#its almost like. entirely accurate#entirely purposefull that her rule would fail completely#Wouldn't it be fucking sick for sunset to try again#to give it another shot!!!#now that shes better#changed for the better by none other than twi#i wrote fics of this lmaooo#fanfiction#writing stuff
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what's so clever about Clara Bow is that when she references her own name at the end, she's not talking about the present but the future, quoting the inevitable way people are going to one day talk about her, imagining it will only be in regards to the woma(e)n who surpass her. because there will be someone who surpasses her, eventually. that's the cycle of fame, isn't it? we're simultaneously captivated by the alluring trick of the past while looking for the next big thing. we compare current stars to the lights that shined before them, "you look like taylor swift." but we're also constantly waiting for someone new and greater to take the crown and captivate us anew, "you've got edge she never did." And half the song is about acknowledging that being revered is hell on earth for the people who are in it, because you're always trapped between what came before and what will come after. you're only safe insofar as you remain shiny. But the real beauty of the song is that it never succumbs to this dichotomy, but embraces it. It's Taylor acknowledging she wouldn't be who she is were it not for the women who came before her, who shared the same dreams, and recognizing her place in the chain of the women who will come after. The future's bright, dazzling.
#it's about appreciating and finding comfort in the people they want you to be intimidated by#and hoping she can be a source of comfort for the girls to come#it’s about knowing you’re not alone even when they’ve made you’ve out to be Singular. and how fucking IMPORTANT that is.#ttpd#clara bow#taylor swift#i love this song so SO much. wow#ts
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scream 7 fires their highly successful female lead who revitalized their franchise & made them millions of dollars all because of her pro palestinian stance but not a single word from netflix on their side characters in an ensemble cast who are literally saying shit like “zionism is sexy” and advocating for absolutely no ceasefire under any circumstances. this is a hell world.
#i’m talking abt melissa barrera noah schnapp and brett gelman respectively#hollywood is such a fucking joke i hope it collapses#i get it’s different studios and companies but for fucks sake really#will be interesting to see what jenna ortega has to say abt this i have no idea if she’s even attached to scream 7 tbh#also something so sinister abt an industry that would drop a new hunger games installment rn
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Crimson Peak, 2015, dir. Guillermo del Toro
#'i HOPE she can see me and thomas fuck nasty'#real 'mother dear. oh we know youre... down there listenin' energy#horror aesthetic#horror movies#horror quotes#crimson peak
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I love whenever she makes this face, her face getting intense is always funny to me
Vanessa doing her ABSOLUTE best not to snap
#ask reply#I hope Vanessa gets to snap#let her lose her mind#I want her to go crazy go stupid#let her say fuck while you’re at it#I care sm for Vanessa BAHAH#SHES doing her best!!!#and we love her for that 🩵
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i got lazy in the second panel and didnt feel like coloring or whatever bite me
#i think she'd be petty enough to do this if rebecca actually lived#flirting with her man. unacceptable. eats#the trend of uzi in the suit and n in the dress is the funniest shit ever to me. n would be so willing to wear a dress#and she'd totally wear her combat boots over the pants. they're not going anywhere#she should be allowed to say fuck#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#i can finally tag it myself exclamation mark#biscuit bites#uzi x n#murder drones nuzi#lizzy was recording it to send it to v i swear shes not just playing subway surfers#i dont understand outfit design in the slightest im just making it up as i go#ill figurre out a speechbubble design for uzi later im tired#oh yeah uhhh#murder drones rebecca#murder drones lizzy#hope i didnt forget anything ok bye
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ngl like chappell roan is gonna disappear one day and everyones going to ":(((( she was so girlypop :(( she was an icon of her time :(( we loved her so so much :( a star gone to early :( " and like its so gonna be everyones fucking fault
#chappell roan#i hope she is getting support and love from those around her#maybe people can get a fucking grip#like it was “oh she doesnt care about her europe fans” when she went to the vmas#now its “she doesnt care abt queer fans and poc fans”#its all “i dont get mental health days for my job”#Shut the fuck up!!
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Imagine talking shit to your crush/archnemesis' face about her not being good enough as an Oracle or an adventurer, and then finding out an hour later that said nemesis punched your grandmother's friend so hard that she fucking died
#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20#fhjy#adaine like 'oh im not a good oracle? check this shit out' and punches a dragon to death in one fucking hit#adaine you beautiful terrifyingly melee-oriented wizard girl#adaine abernant#oisin hakinvar#oishin slander#get fucking wrekt I hope she gets you next you fuckass lizard
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hey disney so uh how dedicated are we to this being a miniseries? because this truly is too good to limit to one season!
#and lilia saying when she calls you a coward hit the deck#has me afraid this may end in some kind of betrayal or something#it can’t end like that do you fucking hear me?#i have other ideas for where it could go instead but i don’t wanna get my hopes up#holy SHIT i’m having so much fun y’all!!#agatha all along
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