#i hope people don’t mind seeing older stuff of mine

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Old Streets Fights art time!! Urien and Gill were actually what initially got me into the games fully‼️ The Gill art was from back when there was the whole trend going around of drawing characters in that dress 💀

[strniohoeee]

Not Mine

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: A glimpse into the rise and downfall of Y/N’s relationship. Torn between wanting to move on with her life, but also wanting to relive the past. Constantly struggling, but will she figure it out in the end?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None really just get your tissue boxes ready😔. This one’s longggg too LOLLL

Song for the imagine: Strange- Celeste

Isn’t it strange

How people can change

From strangers to friends

Friends into lovers

And strangers again?

Day 374

Another day slipping from my fingers. My breathing shallow as my eyes blinked slowly. Staring out my bedroom window as the rain trickled down the glass offering me a reflection of who I hated.

I’d like to think I’m numb to the feeling at this point, but everytime I hear his name, or see his face my chest physically hurts. Some sick and twisted part of me indulged in this feeling. I wanted to feel pain. I thrived off of it. I mean it makes us stronger in the end doesn’t it?

200 days pondering. I’ve spent 200 days trying to scoop my life together. When you’re left with no true explanation your mind tends to go overboard. Filling the cracks with reasons and excuses that you were never given.

He wasn’t mine, and I was so blind to it. Trying to fix someone who so badly didn’t care. Too blind by infatuation to see how he truly felt.

Day 180

“I just don’t understand why” I stated staring down at my empty cup

“You can’t sit here and try to figure out someone who was never even open to you fully in the first place” my friend said to me

“I mean I know, but why give me this false hope. Make it seem like you saw a future with me. When he didn’t” I said swallowing thickly

“It’s been 6 days, do not beat yourself up over it okay? You’re killing yourself trying to rack your brain looking for the whys?” She said caressing my arm

“ I reached out to him yesterday” I said sniffling

“And?” She asked looking at me with a soft smile

“He said he couldn’t see me this weekend, but maybe another time” I replied breaking down

“Please don’t cry okay, you’re going to be okay” she said pulling me and hugging me

Day 374

I got up from my chair and walked out to my living room. I inhaled a shaky breath as I looked around the dimly lit room. My eyes landed on my coffee table. I trembled at the sight of the Polaroids of us littered along the mahogany wood, the vase he got me with nothing in it, and the books he purchased for me.

I started to breathe heavily and my hands began to shake.

“I HATE YOU” I screamed, shoving everything off the table with my fists. Breaking down as I heard the glass shatter and the books tumble down

“I hate your stupid fuck boy hair cut, I hate your cold blue eyes, I hate your stupid dry skin and your cracked lips, I hate your ugly smile….I HATE YOU” I screamed the last part as I banged my fists on the table

Dry heaving from the panic attack I was putting myself through.

Day 1

My eyes browsed the pastry display as I waited in line. These all looked so good, and it was hard to pick just one, but finally my eyes landed on the last heart shaped cookie on the rack

“Next!” I heard someone yell out, my eyes darting their way

“Good morning” I said offering a smile

“Good morning! What can I get for you today” the older woman said smiling at me

“May I have a small hot latte, and the heart shaped cookie right there” I said pointing over to the glass

“Sure thing honey” she said ringing me up

After paying she turned around and began to make my latte while I waited.

As I waited I felt a presence next to me, so I looked over locking eyes with a pair of blue ones. I offered him a smile and he returned the favor

“One latte and one heart cookie” the woman said handing me my stuff

“Thank you” I said grabbing my stuff and smiling at her

“Have a good day” she said

“You too” I replied and began to walk away, nodding my head at the guy who was next to me

I left the cafe and walked to the bookstore down the road. I was browsing around when I decided to walk into the horror aisle

I was looking at some books, mindlessly walking sideways when I bumped into someone.

“Oh sorry” I said looking up, and meeting those same blue eyes

“You’re good” he said smiling at me

“I was walking while looking at the books” I said looking over at the shelves

“You’re heart shaped cookie girl” he said pointing at me

“That would be me” I said laughing

“Those are my favorite, and you got the last one” he said fake pouting

“Would you like it?” I asked him offering him the bag

“Oh no no, thank you though” he said with his hand on his chest

“So you like horror too?” I asked him

“Uhhh no” he said laughing at bit

“Well then I think you’re in the wrong aisle” I said giggling

“I actually don’t read” he said putting his hands in his pockets

“Then why are you at a bookstore?” I asked tilting my head

“Well I like to look at the covers, I’m more of a visual type of guy” he replied

“Ahhh makes sense” I said nodding my head

“But uh don’t let me stop you from looking” he said stepping away from the shelf

I nodded at him and began to look at some books. My eyes landed on a Stephen King book, and I grabbed it immediately

“I’m going to have a seat at those tables and read this book a bit, you can join if you’d like” I said looking over at the boy

“I wouldn’t want to infiltrate” he said back

“Oh no never, join me” I stated smiling at him

We sat at the table, and I took the cookie out of the bag breaking it in half.

“Have half” I said looking up at him

“No don’t worry” he said nodding at me

“Please I insist” I said handing him the cookie

Finally he obliged and began to eat it. We sat chatting for a while about random stuff. When suddenly my phone rang, and I realized I was late to meeting up with my friend

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, but I’m actually supposed to be somewhere right now and I’m totally late” I said scooting back from the chair

“Oh no worries” he said standing up as well

“It was nice talking to you…” I said looking at him

“Matthew, but I go by Matt” he said sticking his hand out

“Well Matt it was nice talking to you, I’m Y/N” I said shaking his hand

“It was great talking to you too” he said smiling at me

“Here let me give you my number. I’d like to talk again” I said nervously

“Yeah sure” he said taking his phone out

After we exchanged numbers I went on with my day

Day 5

Matt and I had met for dinner to catch up. I was enjoying my time with him. He was truly a cool person to hang around, and I slowly felt myself looking for him in my day to day interactions.

“So Matt what brings you to LA” I said looking up at him

“Well I just moved here with my brothers. We’re from Boston and we came here for our jobs” he said

“Ohhh nice what do you do?” I asked taking a sip of my drink

“Well we’re social media influencers” he said laughing a bit

“Oh that’s nice” I said smiling at him

He had shown me their pages and what they do, and I found it fascinating. They were also pretty famous might I add. I felt special hanging out with him, not going to lie.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked him

“No” he replied

“Is it hard because you go between LA and Boston?” I asked

“No I just prefer to be alone” he said chuckling

“Ahhh I see” I said nodding my head

“I just don’t believe in the whole love and soulmate stuff” he replied

“No? How come” I asked him

“I mean what even is love you know? People just throw that word around, and it just ends up hurting people. I like to keep my peace and I like to be single. Less problems” he said

“That’s true” I said nodding my head

“Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked

“Oh no, but I do believe in love and soulmates. I just haven’t found mine” I said laughing

Matt nodded his head and we continued to eat. The rest of the night was amazing, sharing our philosophies on different topics and truly enjoying each others companies

Day 30

Matt and I had been hanging out pretty much everyday, and I truly enjoyed it. Of course I had my own friends, but he was a breath of fresh air.

The only other issue was that I began to have feelings towards him. I tried not to because I know he didn’t believe in love or girlfriends. But he made it hard when he was exactly what I looked for in a man

“You know I enjoy this a lot” he said as we sat on a bench eating ice cream

“Yeah? Me too” I said looking over at him

“It’s nice to just get out with you and have a good time I like it” he said eating his ice cream

“I like it too” I replied

“And I like you too” he said shrugging his shoulders

“I like you too Matt” I replied looking over at him again

That night Matt had walked me home since I wasn’t too far from the ice cream shop.

“Well this is me” I said pointing to the building

“Thank you for coming out tonight” he said

“Thank you for inviting me I had a blast” I said

“Well I’ll let you go now” he said opening his arms for a hug

I hugged Matt and in that moment I felt like my dreams were slowly becoming a reality.

When we pulled away we stopped and stared at one for a moment. Our eyes searched for an answer when suddenly he leaned down and kissed me.

Our lips locked in such a beautiful kiss.

That night when we parted ways my heart thumped with adrenaline. My mind racing with all the possibilities of what we could be.

Day 50

“This view is amazing” Matt said looking at the city line beneath us

“Isn’t it? I come up here when I want to think and clear my mind, but it’s just so beautiful I had to bring you” I said

“There’s not many people here” he replied looking around

“Well yeah, it’s a secret spot” I said smiling at him

“You took me to your secret spot? Am I that special?” He asked

“I guess so” I said biting my bottom lip

He came up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist as he leaned his head on my shoulder. Swaying us side to side slowly.

“When I want to clear my mind I got to this small beach that not many people know about in Boston. It’s actually a place I discovered when my first girlfriend broke up with me. I was so hurt and angry that I just kept driving and landed there” he said looking at the skyline

“I’ve never told anyone that” he whispered

My heart fluttered at this. Being able to break down his walls to get him to tell me more about himself made me warm inside. I think I was changing him….

“I thought you didn’t believe in love?” I said in a whisper

“Well after her I don’t. She completely destroyed me, and I vouched to never give my heart to anyone again” he replied looking at me

“And what about me?” I said laughing

“You’re different” he said tapping my chin with his thumb

Day 63

Matt and I had just had sex for the first time. I mean it was amazing he was so careful with me like I was a dainty feather. He took his time, caressing my every inch, kissing all my insecurities away. He made me feel loved.

My mind moved as we laid in his bed, the sheets keeping us tangled together. The sunlight kissing his skin as he laid on my chest lightly snoring.

His right hand gently placed on my torso as my right hand raked through his hair. Massaging his scalp and occasionally running down his back as the goosebumps rose on his skin.

A smile growing on my face as Matt laid in my arms. My mind playing all our possibilities repeatedly. Matt made me the happiest girl in the world, and I didn’t even know if he realized how special this made me feel

Day 97

My mind began to race as insecurities began to cloud my mind. We’ve been seeing each other for well over two months now, and I wasn’t sure what we were?

I paced around my living room as Matt sat on the couch watching me.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” He asked me, causing me to stop in my tracks

“What….what are we?” I asked looking at him

“What do you mean?” He asked

“I mean us Matt. Were sleeping together, going on dates sending each other gifts, but you haven’t said I was your girlfriend” I replied

“I liked you Y/N a lot, and who cares about labels okay? I want to be with you and that’s all” he said

“I guess…I guess you’re right” I said nodding at him

Day 132

I slammed the door behind me as I stomped into my kitchen throwing my stuff down. I grabbed a bottle of water and began to drink it

“What's the issue now?” Matt asked throwing his hands up in defense

“The issue? Matt some girl was practically throwing herself on you, and you didn’t do a single thing, but when I tell her to back off I’m the problem” I said walking over to him

“Well I can handle my own. I told her I wasn’t interested, and the way you acted was embarrassing” he said

“Matt this happens all the time, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, but I’ve had enough of this shit happening” I said shoving past him

“It’s not that serious okay” he said

“You know what? It is serious Matthew. I don’t get this whole casual thing. I want to be your girlfriend. You don’t take me on dates, buy me flowers and have sex with me and say you want this to be casual and just a friends with benefit type of thing. FRIENDS DONT DO THIS” I said raising my voice

“I don’t know what you expect from me. I’ve made this clear from the beginning” he said sighing

“Get out….JUST GET THE FUCK OUT” I yelled opening the front door

Matt left and I slammed the door behind him. Falling down and breaking down on the ground. Why was he being so cruel to me? I didn't get it.

Day 135

I hadn’t spoken to Matt in 3 days, and it was truly bothering me. I prayed he would call or, or show up at my door, but I was disappointed when I got nothing.

I paced my living room anxious and biting my nails contemplating if I should head over to Matt’s house.

After some more bantering with myself I opened my front door to walk out, when I saw Matt getting ready to knock on my door.

“I…what are you doing here?” I asked him

“I came here to say sorry” he said his head hung low

“It’s okay Matt. I just need you to tell me that we aren’t just friends” I said as I moved out the way to let him walk in

He slowly began to walk in without saying a word when I stopped him

“Please” I said in a whisper

“I can’t give you that because it’s not the truth. I’ve made it clear from the beginning I don’t do love. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want” he said looking at me

Like an idiot I ignored his statement and let him into my house. I swore up and down I could change his mind and make him see that we were meant to be together.

Day 171

Matt and I went bowling which was his favorite thing to do, but the whole time it was like his mind was elsewhere.

“I got a strike babyyyy” I said doing a dance that he loved seeing me do

“Nice” he said offering me a half smile

“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting down next to him

“Nothings wrong” he said looking over at me

“I can tell by your demeanor, are you okay?” I asked again reading his face for an answer

“I’m just tired is all” he said

“We can leave, we can get something to eat or head back to my house” I said smiling at him

“I think…I think I’m going to call it a night” he said standing up

“Oh okay” I said also standing up

We closed our lane and headed outside. He waited for a Uber while my house was two blocks down.

“I’ll uh I’ll see you in a few days” he said nodding at me

“Umm yeah sure” I said bluntly

He kissed me on the cheek as his Uber pulled up. He got in without saying anything else, and didnt even look at me as it drove away.

I walked back home that night confused, hurt and angry. Why was he being this way with me?

Day 174

Matt had asked me to meet him at the cafe we first met around 12. I had gotten there around 12:05, and met him at a table in the back

“Hi” I said sitting down

“Hi” he said staring at me

“Sooo what’s up” I said getting nervous

“I think we should part ways” he said swallowing thickly

“What?” I said as my brows furrowed

“I mean we’re just not meant to be. We fight all the time now and I find no joy in what we do” he said blinking

“I mean couples fight all the time right? This is normal we just have to learn to talk it out” I said reaching out to grab his hand

“The thing is I don’t like who I force myself to be around you. What we had was great, but I’m not ready for a relationship and I can’t give you what you want” he stated

“But…but we can work this out. We can find a middle ground” I said fighting for my life

“No Y/N….we’re over” he stated

I looked at him and blinked. When I saw how serious he was I got up from the table and walked away.

I looked back and prayed he’d be lookin for me, but he wasn’t. He didn’t even care to watch me walk out of his life.

That day ruined me

Day 200

I laid in bed most days tossing and turning as the memories of us played in my mind. Haunted by these memories I often forced myself to sleep, or to cry. My wales so loud I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts

Day 43

“So how’s it going with Matt?” My friend asked

“Oh it’s going amazing! I’m head over heels for this guy, and I think we’re going to end up together” I told her

“Tell me more about him” she said as her eyes lit up

“Oh god I love his hair, the wavy brown locks, and I love his blue eyes I swear I could see a glimpse of us in them, and I love his skin how soft it is and how his cheeks flush when I compliment him, I love his lips they’re so plump and moisturized all the time and I love his smile. His teeth are gorgeous and his smile lights up any room he walks into” I said smiling like an idiot

“Oh god… you really are in love with him” she said laughing

“I guess so” I said laughing with her

Day 205

It was a bit over a month now since I last spoke to Matt. I mean I used to see him everywhere and it’s just like he disappeared off the face of the earth.

My chest physically hurts every single day. I was so stupid to think I could change him. He made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want a girlfriend.

How stupid and blind could I be to think he’d want me. I mean no one ever wants me in the end.

I killed myself for a guy who didn’t care.

Day 387

Here I was finally stepping out of the house after a week of trapping myself away. There was a crafting fair in my area, and I really needed to get out and walk and smell the fresh air.

I stopped at a few booths and purchased some things. Trying my hardest not to purchase things that reminded me of Matt.

After the last booth I decided to have a seat at a small table as I watched children play in the street. A smile creeped on my face as I watched them.

So pure and innocent, and life has yet to screw them over. On how I’d pay to go back in time and be a kid again. As I continued to watch them my thoughts were interrupted

“Y/N?” I heard to the left of me

My brows furrowed and I turned my head looking over. My breath hitching in my throat.

“Matt?” I said confused

“How have you been?” He asked smiling at me and taking a seat

“Oh I’ve been good” I said offering him a smile

“That’s great. I haven’t seen you in so long. You look good” he said

“Thank you, i know it’s been a long time” I said laughing a bit

“What are you up to these days?” He asked me

“Uhh you know just working, reading and writing” I said

“Did you ever finish that book you started writing? It was…it was really good” he said

“Oh man I forgot about that book….Im not even sure where it is” I said

“You should look for it, and finish it. I’d love to read it” he said smiling at me

“Maybe one day” I said nodding at him

“How have you been?” I asked him

“Me? Oh I’ve been good just working with my brothers still can you believe we’re at 5 million subscribers” he said smiling

“Congrats you guys deserve it” I said

“Thank you….wow this is just amazing seeing you again” he said looking at me with soft eyes

“Yeah it is” I said swallowing thickly

He went to speak when a girl appeared behind him

“Oh there you are Matt” she said walking over to him

“Oh hi” he said standing up

“Uhh Crystal this is Y/N, and Y/N this is Crystal my girlfriend” he said

“Nice to meet you” I said, shaking her hand. My stomach twisting into knots

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Matt has told me so much about you. He says he’s learned a lot about life from you” she said

“That’s great to hear” I said glancing over at Matt

“Well um I don’t want to keep you, it was great seeing you” Matt said

“Ditto” I said

With that they gave me one last glance and walked away.

My mind wrapped around the word ‘girlfriend’……I wasn’t even sure how to feel truly.

Day 426

I had driven up to the hilltop I always went to when I needed to think. After splitting with Matt I refused to come up here. The memories paining me too much.

I was ready to start fresh, and let go of the past. I wanted to be released of Matt’s shackles, and I needed to start somewhere. So the hilltop was the first thing that came to mind.

I watched the busy street bustle beneath me as I let my mind race freely. Coming to the realization that love and soulmates were all bullshit.

Lies fed to us through books, music and movies. It’s a nice thought, but in the end it doesn’t really work out.

I couldn't be angry at anyone. I mean this is just the fact of life.

I let a smile creep on my face as I sniffled. Finding peace of mind was something I looked forward to and I had to take it day by day.

I let the wind rustle through my hair as I watched the trees sway and the golden sun kiss my skin. Life was beautiful and I was taking it for granted.

“Y/N” I suddenly heard from behind me

I quickly turned around and met eyes with Matt

“Matthew” I said giving him a weak smile

“Strange finding you here” he said walking over to me

“This is my secret place” I said batting my tears away

“I suppose that’s true” he replied laughing and sitting next to me

“Congrats on uhh the girlfriend” I said looking at the skyline

“Don’t say it unless you mean it” he said bumping his shoulder into mine

“Well then in that case my lips are sealed” I said

He let out a breath of air and looked at the skyline

“So uhh are you okay?” He asked after a moment of silence

“I will be” I said kicking the gravel around

“You know it sucks realizing everything you believe in is false” I said wiping my nose

“What do you mean?” He asked looking over at me

“You know soulmates and love and all that shit, you were right” I said looking over at him

“No” he said shaking his head

“Yes don’t look at me like that” I said rolling my eyes

“It was meant to be with Crystal and I. I mean if I never stopped her to tell her she dropped her bag…we wouldn’t be where we are now. And the whole time I would think you were right” he said

“No you didn’t” I said laughing

“Yes! Yes I did” he said laughing too

“It’s just….its just me you weren’t right about, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one for you” he said looking at me as he blinked a few tears away

I looked at him and let a few tears fall. Someone I thought was truly mine…but he was not mine. I was the person who paved the way for him to find who he truly needed in life

“You never wanted to be my boyfriend, but here you are” I said nodding my head

“I know, but it just happened” he said

“I don’t understand…I don’t understand how it just happened” I said shaking my head

“I just woke up one day and I knew….I knew that she was who I could spend the rest of my life with” he replied wiping his eye

“Knew what?” I said as my voice got shaky

“Knew what I was never sure of with you” he said looking at me

Those words pained me….they did, but I couldn’t be mad at him. I can not hate someone who doesn’t want me, it's not their fault.

Day 78

“Matt how do you know believe in love I don’t get it” I said laughing as I played with his hair

“It’s simple, I just don’t. What does it even mean? I say this all the time” he said laughing

“How do you know you’re not in love is the real question” I replied back

“Well how would I know?” He said running his hands up my thigh as he laid on my stomach

“I don’t know…..you just wake up one day and you just know” I replied back

To this he stood quiet, and it made me wonder if he was falling in love with me

Day 426

“Yeah” I said ina whisper

Matt pulled me in for a hug and rubbed my back. A hug I so badly needed and I gripped onto him letting a few more tears slip from my eyes. I thought what we had was real, and it wasn’t. And this would be the last time I would really feel Matt

He pulled away and looked into my eyes smiling at me

“I should go, but I’m really happy to see that you’re doing good” he said standing up and walking away

“Matt” I called out and he turned around

“I really do hope that you’re happy” I said standing up

He looked at me for a few seconds licking his lips and flashing a toothy smile at me. Nodding his head and whispering a thank you.

He turned back around and walked away.

I sat back down on the bench running my hands through my hair as I let the tears fall.

This…this is where I would be leaving any memory and may hope of Matt. He would stay here on this hilltop overlooking LA.

Day 574

Dear Diary,

It’s been 400 days since I parted ways with Matt. It’s been over a year and I can finally say that I am happy and okay. The very last conversation with Matt was hard, but it was needed.

I needed him to let me go, so that I could let him go. He helped me understand it all, and for that I’m thankful. He cleared a path for me that would make it easier for me to go on with life.

Although I spent many nights praying that he and I were meant for each other deep down I’m glad that we weren’t. I’m glad he was in my life when he was because who knows who I would be right now. I’m forever grateful he was put into my life to show me the beauty and the pain of it all.

I still have love for Matt, but in a different way than most would think. He helped me find peace of mind, and although it was painful and agonizing torture I’m glad I went through it.

He showed me that there’s much more in life and even though he was not mine I could push forward with myself. He opened my eyes to a lot of things, and I’m grateful for it. He’s doing well with his girlfriend, and I couldn’t be more happy for him. I sometimes find myself wondering what that would be like if it was him and I, but I try not to think about it.

He’s helped me be a better me. I finished my book finally and had it published. It’s actually doing really well, and even showed his support. Saying even though he doesn’t read he finds himself going back to my pages and re reading them. He really is the best thing that has happened to me.

Even though he didn’t make it to the end of my story I’m still grateful he was a part of the chapters. And I will always be grateful to be a part of his story, watching from the sidelines as one of his cheerleaders.

He deserves it all!

So with that diary I am finally closing this chapter of my life, and beginning a new one. Manifesting the life that I have always wanted for myself and happy where I’m heading.

This is the last page of this diary, and it’s such a bittersweet ending to end this right here and wonder if it’ll continue on a new page in a fresh book…..I guess time will tell, and with that I’m off to new ventures!

Sincerely,

Y/N

I shut my book and closed my pen. Rolling my shoulders as I looked out the cafe window. Smiling at the young children playing in the streets….the beauty of life!

I finished my coffee and threw it in the trash. Stretching and cracking my neck as I gathered my journal and pen. I began to walk away

“Excuse me miss” I heard from behind me

“Uh yes” I said turning around

“You left your bag” he said walking over to me with it

“Oh shoot! My minds all over the place” I said shaking my head and grabbing my bag from him

“Oh man I get that!” He said laughing

“Well thank you….” I said waiting for his name

“Oh Samuel! But I go by Sam” he said sticking his hand out for me to shake

A chill ran up my spine….i've come full circle again

“Well thank you Sam, I’m Y/N” I said shaking his hand

“You’re welcome Y/N” he said smiling at me

“I’ll see you around” I said nodding at him

“Yeah I’ll see you around” he said moving his glasses up with his right hand

My eyes immediately darted to the book in his hand….

The same Stephen King book I picked up when I met Matt.

What a small world….

The End

Alright this one was LONGGGGG, but I loved writing it🥺, and I hope you guys enjoyed it. This will not be a series just a quick little imagine where the ending is up to the reader🤭. I love yall and I hope you enjoyed reading it🥹🖤🖤 Also this is based on 500 Days of Summer because that movie broke meeee😭

-J💅🏽

[an0nymousmessenger]

For I'll Keep Every Promise

Synopsis: He wakes up. Word Count: 2.4k tags. fluff, angst, happy ending Sequel to 'A Thousand Wishes Unheard' note: I was going to post this later but I think you guys need it. Ao3 Link

Darkness. That was all he could see. He felt nothing– as if he was floating in a neverending void.

He was dead.

He had to be. He remembers the bitter taste of blood coating his mouth– the way he struggled and choked on the very thing that ran through his skin. He recalls the loud ringing in his ear, growing ever louder as his vision faded out.

Well, he supposed he tried his best. Really. He gave it his all.

It just wasn’t enough.

What remained of his heart ached. He supposed he wasn’t able to fulfill his promise to you. He hopes you won’t blame him…he had held on till the very end.

Death wasn’t so bad. Before he went he was able to see his students, laughing and smiling, he even got to hold you close before he had left. Not to mention he even saw his friends again, and he had gotten to say goodbye. 

He had no regrets.

Well…he supposes there is still one that lodges itself in the back of his mind.

It was you.

He had never gotten the chance to…

“Satoru,”

He turned his head to look at you, who was savoring your lollipop as you leaned back on the balcony.

Lemon flavored. The very sour kind.

He had a snide suspicion that it was to keep him away from stealing it…

“Satoruu~” you repeated, drawing his attention again.

“Hm?”

You flash him a smile, the kind of smile that lets him know that you are about to either stir up trouble or say something random.

It was the latter.

“What do you want to do when you're older?”

He snorts, “What kind of question is that? Of course– a sorcerer.” He wanted to add ‘what else?’ but decided it was obvious enough. Adding the last part would also ruin his good mood. His path has already been pre-designed and pre-routed for him. He has no other choice.

“No, what I mean is if all this didn’t exist.”

“Aw~ are you saying you would rather not have met me?” He sings out in a fake-pained voice, knowing that it was not what you meant.

You roll your eyes, having been used to his antics for a few years now, “Perhaps,” you say with a playful smile, “Who knows? Maybe I’ll be better off.”

“Nah, I doubt it.”

You sigh before turning to face him. You widen your eyes when you notice he is already looking at you, but quickly move on, but Satoru doesn’t let the red creeping up on the tip of your ears go unnoticed. “I’m saying if you didn’t have cursed energy and stuff…like normal people, you know?”

He wanted to laugh and point out that it sounded like you were indicating that people like you and him were the odd ones, but he decided to let it slide.

“I dunno, maybe I’ll start a singing career, something like that.”

“Pfft, so what? That you’ll get even more admirers and fans?”

“Exactly! What? Don’t you agree? My face is pleasant to look at.”

Scoffing, you say, “One of these days I’ll make sure to crush that ego of yours.”

He rolls his eyes before looking back out at the school grounds, watching the sun slowly set behind the forest of trees. Although he had said the first thing that came from the top of his mind, he supposed singing wouldn’t be that far reached. 

After all, he excelled at everything. 

"How about you?" he asks. "Do you have something in mind already?" 

Observing the setting sun, you reply, "Mhm, yeah. Something like that." 

"Really?" He sounds surprised, not realizing how seriously you were considering it. "What is it?" 

Hesitating, you eventually respond, "It's... nothing." 

His interest is immediately piqued. 

"Come on! What's your idea? Share it with me!" He playfully pesters you with a grin. 

"No!" 

"You can't tease me like that! I told you mine, didn't I?" He whines a bit more before eventually coaxing it out of you.

It was when he saw you sigh, watching as the tension left your shoulders that he knew he won.

“Fine, I’ll tell you then. But you can’t tell anyone else– okay?”

He makes a gesture of zipping his mouth and throwing the zipper away, his curiosity increasing. It always does when it comes to you.

“I want to be…” you wait a bit, as if for dramatic effect, “...an author.”

You turn to look at him after a moment’s silence before breaking out in laughter.

“Haha- what’s up with your face? Surprised?”

Indeed he was a bit surprised. An author? He had no clue. When it comes to you it seemed as if he's only ever scratched the surface. It made him want to know more, want to ask more.

He never does.

"An author," he echoes thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

He wanted to ask why, but you had already started talking.

“An author. I guess it’s because I want to write stories, I grew up reading them you know? Made me feel safe.”

A hint of melancholy graces your smile as your thoughts drift elsewhere; it's a different kind of smile than the one before–a sadder smile.

"Who knows? I'm sure being a sorcerer has provided ample material for incredible stories. I'll be entirely unique. Maybe I'll even include tales about overcoming curses and how people like us save the day."

"Why not add in a ridiculously handsome guy who defeats all the curses with seamless ease too? Make sure 'remarkably attractive' is emphasized."

Laughing, you playfully smack his arm. "Okay, Satoru. I'll consider it."

He couldn’t help but break out into an amused smile. What an odd dream, he thought. Though he supposed he wasn’t against it.

Satoru Gojo excelled at everything, yet nothing he achieved seemed to measure up to you.

He felt his mind start to drift and fade away, threatening to join the other souls in their lost journey home. Wait…he called out. He didn’t want to go just yet. He wanted more time, more time to replay his memories, to live in them just for a second longer.

“Satoru,”

He could hear your voice, calling him in that familiar and recognizable way that was only special to you.

“Satoru.”

He wished he could’ve told you how much he loved hearing you say his name, it rolls off your tongue so nicely. He was never one to care about names, it never mattered to someone like him. 

All he needed was Gojo – a name denoting his status, lineage, and power. His first name barely held any weight compared to his clan's. No one needed to know who Satoru was, no one ever did…so he couldn’t have cared less for his name- and yet you somehow made him love his name– only when you say it does it sound special– like it’s his name like he is someone.

Someone other than the honored one. Someone other than the strongest.

“Satoru!”

There were a lot of things he never got to tell you, another thing to add to his regrets. If only he had been brave enough…if only he had picked up his courage and told you everything.

“Satoru- please!”

He paused. Ah- what is that feeling? He could feel something wet fall onto his face. Was it raining? How could that be? How could he feel if he was dead?

And yet that warmth around his face only made him more confused. He could feel as if someone was holding them, cupping his face carefully as if he could break.

"Please wake up… Satoru, I beg you…"

His eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the sudden brightness.

The first thing he saw when his vision came back into focus was your face. Your crying face looking down at him with your hands cupping his face.

Then he looked around, realizing that the battlefield on which he had been sliced in half was gone. He was in a room, a hospital room.

He looked down and saw the rest of his body, no longer split into two. Had Shoko done this?

“Satoru!”

He returned his gaze to you. You were smiling, smiling, and crying.

Questions, so many questions flooded through him at that moment, but he decided that he could ask those later. Right now was more important, right now felt like it was all happening inside a dream.

“Hey…crybaby, seems like you you missed me?” He teased with a small grin.

You gave him a look through your tear-soaked face as if you couldn’t even believe what he was saying.

“Y-You! You bastard! You annoying– infuriating- stupid dumbass!”

“Aw, come on…” he drags, “You don’t mean those…do you hm?” Although the tone in his voice is light– playful even as if he hadn’t just returned from death, as if all he wanted right now was to live this moment to the fullest, he was dearly wishing this– whatever this was– to last a little longer.

He slowly brings his trembling arm to hold onto yours, he wanted to hold on to you tight, as if everything he was seeing was about to break, to fall apart for him to realize it was all a dream.

He waited for you to disappear, to return to the part of his imagination that was playing tricks on him.

Instead, you move sideways to hug him, crying onto his shoulders.

"No...no, I don't," you managed through choked sobs.

He hummed softly, "I guess I kept my promise after all, huh?"

You nod into his shoulder, still holding him tightly.

You and him fall into a comfortable silence, he lets you cry on his shoulders just as how you let him hold onto you. 

Several minutes passed before you pulled away, sniffling and attempting to compose yourself while wiping away tears with your sleeve.

Satoru wanted to reach out and wipe them for you, but his newly healed injuries did not allow him to, moving his hand had already been hard.

It went on like that for a while; you sniffling and crying as Satoru stared at you quietly, taking everything about you in as if this was the last time he was going to see you, just the same way he did on that night underneath the torii gate, using his eyes to try to imprint every detail, everything, every aspect of you into his memory.

That night felt like a lifetime away.

He was the first to break the silence, “Where are the others?”

By now you had calmed down, and were able to answer in a coherent way, “Recovering…everyone is- they’re fine.”

Fine. Not good, but fine.

He’ll take it for now.

“We managed to win and…” you give him a look, “you know…the students declared their victory for you,” You say with a smile.

His students. They managed to do it, just as he thought they could. He sighed contently.

You then spend the next half hour going over exactly what had happened after he had passed out, how Kashimo had come out right after him, and how eventually the rest of the students joined in.

In the end, they had managed to pull through, but it wasn’t over. Sukuna had been dealt with, Megumi’s condition was unknown, and Kenjaku was nowhere to be found.

Shoko had indeed been the one to heal him. Immediately after the battle they were able to recover his body and managed to heal him back together just in time.

“We- we almost- I didn’t know if we made it in time or not…” You say, choking up again. He could see the tears you were desperately trying to hold back, to look brave in front of him, trying to break through.

“Hey, I’m right here, aren’t I?” He beckons you to come closer.

He eventually holds you in his arms, drawing slow circles on your back, as he knows it calms you, “Shhh, I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere else.”

You mutter, “Better not,” which causes him to laugh.

He wanted to let this moment drag on forever, just you in his arms, just you and him.

“This…this is real– right?” He says quietly, and in such a small voice he doubted you had heard him.

You raise your head to look at him, the soft kind of smile he’s always known playing on your face, “Yes, Satoru. This is real, as real as it can be.”

He can feel himself start to tear up, because if he had to be honest- he was scared too, he was terrified, but he had no choice. He had to play his role, his role as the strongest.

But now he could just be Satoru, just him holding onto you, keeping you close. 

“Then I’m glad.”

Bonus:

“Gojo Sensei!” Yuji, the always energetic kid exclaimed as he ran into the room, followed by You, Maki, Yuta, Nobara, Panda, Inanumaki, Shoko, and everyone else.

They all had recovered for the most part and seemed to be relatively okay. They all wore relieved expressions as they entered the room to see that their Sensei was alright.

Yuji was the first to arrive at his Sensei’s bedside.

“Hey, kid!” Gojo Sensei waved. He had recovered enough to prop himself up and do basic movements, which to Shoko had been a miracle itself.

Yuji then began launching himself into the things that had happened while Gojo had been recovering, and Gojo returned the energy. Everyone got their turn, talking until visiting times were over and they had to be ushered out.

You were the last to leave. Just before you turned the doorknob Satoru called after you, “Hey- wait.”

You turn around, waiting for what he wants to say.

“When- uh when this is all over and when you have some free time, let me take you out, yeah?”

You barely ever heard Satoru Gojo stumble over his words, and when he did you know it was because he was nervous, and everyone knows Satoru Gojo is never nervous, yet that always seemed to be the exception when it comes to you.

You found it cute, the way he would try to seem aloof as the back of his neck became a beautiful shade of bright red.

“Yeah, but let’s save that for when you recover.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be up and ready by next week,” he says as if it were a fact, his blue eyes seemed to shine even brighter.

You sigh, even after coming back on the brink of death he still acts like a child, but you smile nonetheless, “Next week it is then.”

[v-love]

please could I request a sweet fluff with kit walker x female reader where they both have feelings for each other but the reader feels so insecure bc she is already a full adult woman who never had a date before, never kissed anyone in her entire life and she feels so behind everybody with her zero romantic experience, and kit comforts and reassures her, talks a lot very friendly and sweetly with her trying to get her off any self judgment and stuff, and so with him being so sweet and understanding and friendly to her she finally sees her time of loving unfolding and slowly things happen between them? tysm, i think it would be the sweetest thing ever! :')

 I Already Know

Kit Walker x Fem!Reader (Smut)

Summary: Everyone has a team of writers who are writing their story. You were no different. The writers of your story however were cruel and gave you nothing but sadness and false hope. That was until a new writer steps in, giving you the love and care that you deserve…starting off by giving you Kit Walker.

Not proofread </3

Warnings: smut at the very end, angst, fluff, loneliness, the narrator speaking to the reader. (I hope i didn’t miss any-)

Images/GIFS are not mine.

Word count: 10k

THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD LIKE AT ALL IM SORRY

TW: There is a possibility that you could feel as though you are not real while reading this. You are real, please remember that.

The paragraphs/sentences in italics is the narrator/writer speaking to you.

The paragraphs/sentences in italics and bold are you speaking to the narrator/writer.

You sigh softly as you crack your neck. Your work day was so difficult, multiple people ordering last minute cakes and cookies, difficult customers, your bakery being short staffed. Overall, you had one of the worst days. It’s nearing Christmas and you had so much to do the next day to complete all the orders you got. You were thankful for your job at the humble little bakery in town but days like this made you question whether or not you should just quit and do the job you had a college degree for, teaching. You loved children, you loved caring for them. You loved watching how they run up to their parents and hug them tightly. You wish you could have kids, you would be a wonderful mother. The only problem was that you have never had a love interest in your little story. You were just a lonely woman in this cold world.

However, I see you little bird. I see your sadness, your pain, your loneliness. Don’t worry your little head, I’m going to finish your story with a happy ending. The writers of your story have done you wrong but that’s alright. They’ve given your delicate form to me so that I can give you the happiness that you deserve, little dove. Go on, walk home. I’ll be there shortly to start your new happy life. Rest your head on your now soft pillow and sleep for tomorrow you will meet someone who will make you the happiest woman on earth.

“What a strange dream…” you say to yourself as you wake up. It felt as though someone was talking to you through your dream, giving you false hope. “Maybe it will get better.” You say to no one in particular as you get up. You walk to your bathroom and stare at yourself. You smile a bit as you see that you looked pretty. Your hair was all over but it looked so soft. Your eyes looked sleepy but in the most beautiful way. Your cheeks looked full of color, making you look youthful. You were getting older and the fact that you were sill alone made your family talk. They spoke so much but never saw how hard you worked to get the things you had. You shake those thoughts from your mind and get in the shower, seeing the sun rise through your small shower window. You lathered your hair up with your favorite shampoo that smelled like strawberries. Sighing as you massage your scalp, gently scratching to make sure you clean it properly. You take your time as you rinse your hair, smiling at how nice the warm water felt cascading down your back, filling the steam with the smell of strawberries.

The conditioner smelled just as divine as your shampoo, making you smile more. You make sure to gently tie your hair up so the conditioner could sit. Rinsing your hands quickly, you move onto your body. You lather your arms up, taking care to not miss any spots. You lather up your breasts and stomach, looking down at yourself. You hum a bit as you thought about how you looked. Shaking away those thoughts, you move to your intimate areas and legs which were hairless since yesterday. Taking your wash cloth, you scrub your skin gently, getting all the places you needed to. Rinsing your body, you smile at how glorious it was now smelling. Lastly you rinse your hair from the conditioner, hearing the birds chirp sleepily from outside.

After drying off and doing your dental care as well as applying your lotion, you dry your hair. You had about an hour and a half to do everything but for some reason time was slower than usual, giving you a chance to look your best as always. Sitting down to do your makeup, you sing along to whatever the old radio was playing. “Name Game? Haven’t heard that one in a bit.” You say to yourself as you finish up. You now had thirty minutes to get out of the house, slipping your shoes and coat on, you head out the door.

As you drive to the bakery, you think about all the orders you and some others must make. You enjoyed baking things, so you weren’t mad at it, you just hated it when the customers were inconsiderate. It’s only a few days till Christmas and you and your coworkers needed to get home to your families. Nonetheless, you all worked hard for them. As you walk in, you’re greeted by customers and your coworkers as you pass by to put your things up so you can get to work. Putting your apron on you quickly get to kneading the doughs of different breads and placing the fondant on cakes. Your hands are gentle as you place little candy charms on top of the cakes and some of the cookies. Soon you trade spots with someone so that you don’t tire; cleaning yourself up to take orders.

As you walk up to the register, a young girl looks up at you excitedly, jumping a bit when she sees you. “Hello, Miss Y/n! Mama, sent me to get her usual bread and biscuits!” She tells you, handing you her money. You laugh and bag her orders, taking her money before leaning in. “Don’t tell anyone but I snuck in a couple cookies in for you and her.” You say quietly, watching her beam with excitement. Waving, she says thank you and heads out, leaving you with a warm feeling in your heart.

A young man walks up and smiles at you, wringing his hands from coming in from the cold outside. “Hello, miss. Could I get those two wreath cookies there?” He asks, looking a little distracted. “Those? Oh no, they’re old. Do you mind waiting 5 minuets for the new ones to set?” You ask, preparing yourself for cold words. The man shakes his head, smiling still. “Not at all! How much?” He says, his hands fumbling with his wallet. “A dollar even.” You say, a little shocked at how sweet he was. Watching him fumble to get a dollar, you take in how handsome he was. The way he smiled at you while giving you the money made your cheeks warm. “I’ll be over here, darlin’.” He says, walking towards the small tables and chairs, taking a seat.

Your mind was on other things as you carefully place the cookies in their bag. You hear the jingle from the door and look up, seeing one of your favorite customers. “Hello, Lana! I haven’t seen you in a few days.” You say, walking over to her holding the bag of cookies. “Busy with book signings and interviews...oh what are these?” She asks, eyeing the bag of cookies in my hand. “Oh these are a new design. Give me a second and I’ll show you.” Walking over to the man from earlier, you hand him his cookies. “Thank you, I appreciate it...Lana? Fancy seeing you here.” He says to her, smiling as she hugs him. “My goodness! I have to see you and the kids more often!” She says and as they continued to speak, you seem to drift away and disappear.

Quietly walking back to your station, you pack more orders. Of course he had kids, was probably married as well. Your thoughts become sad as you hand people their orders as they came in to pick them up. Without you noticing the man from before, Kit, walks up and clears his throat. “Miss?” He calls, watching as you turn to him. “Is there anything else you’d like?” Your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes this time, making Kit tilt his head a bit. “Well yes and no. Is it possible for you to make me a batch of these for next year?” He asks, his hands fidgeting with the money in his hands. Your hands move quickly to jog down what he needed from the bakery. “The total is going to be 6.50.” He nods and hands you the money, his fingers lingering for a moment.

Ignoring the way the touch made your skin burn, you look up at him. “You can pick them up in the afternoon at around 3.” You say, handing him his receipt. Kit nods and smiles sweetly at you, nodding in thanks. “I’ll be back soon, I want my kids to enjoy coming here as well. Merry Christmas…er- happy holidays.” He smiles more at the mention of his children and heads out the door. You sigh softly and turn to switch places with someone, being drained from social interactions.

Towards the end of the work day, you put your apron up and gather your things. Your shoulders hurt a bit from the tension they had, making grin softly as you stretch. Walking out the door in the cold snowy air, you get in your car and turn it on. It was 6 o’clock in the evening so you thought it’d be best if you just got some food at the diner, just to treat yourself for the hard days work. As you pull out and drive off, you think of what you want to eat. Where you in the mood for breakfast or in the mood for a greasy dinner?

If you chose breakfast you would get waffles, scrambled eggs, that delicious sweet maple bacon, hash browns, and maybe a few sausage links. Now, if you got coffee then you’d be awake all night and you couldn’t have that, you had some things to do before Christmas. Maybe some juice would be good with that meal. Yeah, you would get juice. If you chose the greasy dinner you would get a hamburger, fries, and a delicious milkshake. Maybe you would do a cheeseburger and switch the plain fries to those spicy fries. For the milkshake maybe a vanilla. You can’t go wrong with the basics. After some though you nod, making your decision.

Watching the world move around from the inside of the diner, you see a couple holding hands as they walk to the door. The girl was beaming as her handsome man kissed her cheek, giving her a dashing smile. She looked happy and content. Shaking your head from the negative thoughts, you see your food coming. You had chosen breakfast. Looking up, you watch the television and see Lana there. It was a rerun of her speech at the library that happened two days ago. As you watch her, your mind goes back to that sweet young man. You wondered if his children looked just like him…or did they look like their mother.

As you finish, you pay and soon head out of the warm diner, driving home. You observe everyone and everything around you as you drove home, humming to whatever was playing on the radio. Your thoughts begin to drift into what you would do for Christmas. Lana and you had become good friends and she invited you to her Christmas party. You already knew what you were going to bring to the party and what you were going to give Lana. All she asked for was her favorite cookies and breads. As you think about those you remember that you hadn’t picked out your outfit for the party yet. Maybe you would wear your favorite dress; it was a beautiful black dress that molded to your body shape but concealed anything you wanted it to. It was one of your favorites because you didn’t have to wear a belt to make it look complete.

Pulling into your driveway, you sit in your car for a moment. You feel the warm air that had previously been in the car turn cold ever so slowly. The only reason you weren’t going into your house was because the lawn was absolutely covered in Christmas decorations. You had forgotten that the neighbors kids wanted to spruce up your house. You laugh as you see different sized snowmen and women “dressed” in suits and sweaters. They all had little friends or family surrounding them, near the door you see a small group. The snowmen were dressed in similar clothing to people you knew. It was you and two of the neighbors kids. Your heart warmed as you step closer to them, smiling at the little gesture they did.

As you start to shiver, you go into the warmth of your small home. Peeling off your coat and boots, you relax and walk over to your room. You take off your clothes and turn on your television, landing on your bed with a happy sigh. You stretch and hear your bones crack as you express your groan of relief. Getting into the covers, you watch a show that was playing, drifting off to sleep.

Now little dove, I do have one request to make. Stop sabotaging yourself. I know it may be hard but trust me, you will be fine. Please let me take care of you. I love you more than anyone else in this world at the moment.

At the moment, you say?

Why yes, I did say that didn’t I? That’s because there is going to be someone who will love you as much or even more than I do.

Yes little dove, I do love you. I have loved you ever since I met you.

How is that possible? Well as you know, I am your new writer. You have never seen me but I have seen you. I see you everyday.

Enough questions, you need rest. Sleep well, my little creation.

Blinking slowly, you take in your surroundings. The smell of vanilla registers in your brain and you smile. You had left open your favorite candle before leaving for work. You were off today because it was Christmas Eve. Sitting up, you stretch and smile while looking at the time. Your eyes widen as you see it was almost 10 am. You normally were up at 6 or 5, you were never this late to wake up. You guess that you needed it as you get up and change.

Huffing as you mix multiple batters, you bake your cookies. It was only a few hours before the party and you were almost done with everything. As you take out the breads and cookies to let them cool, you jump in the shower. Washing your hair wasn’t necessary so you just took care of your body. Getting out soon after rinsing, you dry yourself and do your normal routine. Humming, you add a bit more makeup than usual, adding a darker eye-shadow to your lash line to give you a more “party” look.

Packing up the presents and other things, you head out the door and into your car. “Alright, I got everything…” you say to yourself as you drive off. You looked so beautiful but you didn’t even know it. You wave to a few of the kids that you knew while passing by, seeing them play in the snow. Lana’s home wasn’t too far so you were there in just a short 10 minute drive. Gathering your things, you knock on the door, hearing music and laughter already.

Lana smiles widely as she opens the door. “Y/n, hello! I’m so glad you made it!” She says and she engulfs you with a hug. “I’m glad I did too, the raids were a little icy.” You laugh as you were led inside. “I brought some desserts, don’t worry I have your favorites as well.” You say as you help her place the desserts in the kitchen. She was absolutely beaming at the mention of her favorites. “Oh I’m so excited!” She says, looking at you with a big smile. “I have two little ones I want you to meet!” She takes your hand and leads you to the two kids playing with dolls and trains.

You see the girl look up and smile widely, going up to hug Lana. “This is Julia and this is Thomas. They’re my godchildren!” She says, hugging Julia back. Thomas tilts his head as he watches you wave shyly at Julia. “Hello miss.” Julia says, equally as shy as you were. “Oh please, no need to be formal. You can call me Y/n.” You say, smiling softly at the young girl. “And hello Thomas, it’s nice to meet you both. Lana has told me so much about you.” Your smile grows as you see Thomas stick out his hand to shake yours. “Those are my kids. Sweet things aren’t they?” You hear a male voice say, turning to face the direction which it came from.

You see the man from the shop smiling at you as you shake Thomas’ hand. “They’re so sweet.” You say, feeling Julia run past you to hug her father. “Kit, you remember Y/n right?” You hear Lana say, feeling her hand on your shoulder as she spoke. “Of course I do! The kids are obsessed with the cookies I bought them and won’t stop asking who made them.” He says laughing, you feel Julia tug at your dress to get your attention. “Did you make them? Y’know, those wreath cookies?” She asks, watching you nod. “I actually did, I heard you loved them.” You see Thomas nod vigorously and hand you something. “We made these bracelets for whoever made them!” He says as you open the small box.

The bracelets were made of small beads of different colors. One was made of mostly reds and the other one was made up of mostly greens. “Christmas colors…they’re so pretty. Thank you so much. I’ll wear them right now.” You say, slipping them on and watching as the kids beam their big smiles at you. “This is definitely my favorite Christmas present this year.” You say and laugh as they both jump around. “Did you hear that papa? The pretty Y/n said they were her favorite!!” Julia said, being picked up by Kit. “I did! I told you she would like it. Now go on and play with the other kids, it’s my turn to talk to the pretty Y/n.” He says as Julia practically jumps out of his arms to go play with the other kids.

Your brain short circuits for a second at the fact that both Julia and Kit called you pretty. You were flattered of course but you thought differently, your dress wasn’t as nice as other people’s clothing. The simple jewelry wasn’t as sparkly as other people’s. However to Kit and Julia you looked so pretty. You looked like a person straight from heaven. The way the dress fit you made Kit’s head spin a bit and they way you spoke to his kids made him smile. Was it possible that he was already smitten with you?

Yes in fact it was possible. As the party goes on you, Kit, and Lana dance around with the kids and play games with them. When it came time to eat, Kit helps you set up everything. “Thank you for being sweet with my kids. It’s a bit difficult with two different looking kids because people are assholes.” He says as he hands you a tray, his touch linger once again like in the bakery. You pause as he spoke, frowning a bit. “It’s because of Julia isn’t it? I don’t understand why people are so cruel. That girl is such a sweetheart…I would give anything to have a daughter like her.” You sigh softly and grab the plates. “What do you mean? You and your mister don’t have any kids?” He asks you, looking confused.

You laugh dryly. “What mister? I’m not married, honey.” Finishing up setting the table you look around for anything else. “Am I missing anything?” You look up at Kit, noticing he’s just staring at you. He remembers that he’s supposed to help you and shakes his head. “No you’re good.” He replies, smiling softly at you. “Let’s get everyone.” He says and heads to get Lana and the others. You sit as the others file in, Julia making a bee line to the seat next to Lana. You feel a small hand tap on your arm. “Can I sit next to you Miss Y/n?” Thomas asks shyly, his face brightening when you nod yes.

Everyone eats and compliments were heard from all around for Kit and Lana’s cooking. The room was buzzing with happiness and quiet conversations. Laughter was shared all around the table as you say some dumb jokes with everyone. Soon you receive compliments on your baking, making you blush shyly and smile in thanks. You hear Julia gush about how yummy she thought the gingerbread cookies were and Thomas arguing about how the chocolate chip cookies were better. Kit was quick to mediate the argument saying that they were both the best. “Y’all are too sweet.” You say to everyone, laughing as you see people acting like they’re stealing cookies.

Towards the end of the party people start to help clean up and leave, you and Kit deciding to stay behind. “It’s only 8, I think the kids could watch something while we talk.” Lana says, setting up the television for them before heading back to the couch. Kit nods and smiles softly at her. “They love it here anyways.” He says and faces you, holding a beer bottle. “What are you doin’ tomorrow? I heard the roads won’t be as cold and icy.” He says as Lana sits behind him holding his free hand.

Shaking your head you sip your wine. “Nothing, I don’t have any family here. Plus everyone is busy with their own families.” Lana frowns and sits up. “Spend it with me and Kit? It would be lovely to have you again, right Kit? The kids would probably pester you about sweets but they’ll be happy too.” She says laughing, Kit chuckling too. “I don’t know, you guys have everything planned out. I’m not getting any younger, Lana. I can’t run around for two days straight.” You joke and sip on your wine again, hearing Lana giggle a bit at your joke. “Oh please, we’re close in age, you act like you’re 72.” She says.

Rolling your eyes, you laugh too. “I guess, I’m still older than you.” You hear her scoff, crossing her arms. “By two years, please Y/n.” She laughs and looks over at Kit. “And you’re like what? Two years old?” She jokes and Kit’s face turns sour. “God, don’t start with that. The kids kept saying I was younger than them. Bossin’ me around and shit.” He laughs and looks over at them, you could see the love he had for the pouring out of his eyes and heart. It was almost suffocating. Lana sits up again and smiles brightly. “Let’s play cards. Just one round before Y/n has to leave.” She says and looks at you with excitement. 

You all play four rounds of cards before you had to leave. You take your glass pans to your car and whatever else you had won from the games. You hug Lana and the kids, them telling you how excited they were that they’ll be seeing you the next day for Christmas. They run back in the house with Lana and get bundled up in blankets, Kit helping them with their cups of hot chocolate. Just as you reach your car door you hear the soft low voice of Kit calling your name. “Y/n, let me get that for you.” He says as he opens the door for you, helping you in. “Go inside, it’s windy and snowing.” You say, shivering slightly as your car warms up. Kit shook his head and just smiled. “Gotta make sure you pull out safely. It’s warmed up now, you can drive.” Kit stands back and waves at you as you pull out of the driveway, waving back a him. 

Driving home, you reflected on how much fun you had. You don’t normally go to parties because you always end up alone on a corner watching everything. Smiling to yourself, you think about which kind of treat you would bring for the kids. Pulling into your driveway, you sit in your car for a moment, pondering some more. “Chocolate chip was the one that was eaten the fastest…but more compliments on peanut butter…I’ll just mix them.” You got out of your car and head inside with your things. Letting the warmth engulf you, you pull off your boots and coat, groaning as you stretched while walking to your bathroom. Taking off your makeup and changing into your nightwear, you settle down in your warm bed. You hadn’t felt this warm and relaxed in so long that you fall asleep in an instant as the snow outside begins to fall.

I told you that I would help you feel happy. Tomorrow you have two small kids that will soon love you as much as they love Lana.

Little Dove, you already seem happier and I’m glad it’s happening so fast. Just be careful…don’t let yourself get hurt or think anything negative.

Goodnight, little dove. Sweet dreams.

The next day came and you quickly got ready. You said you’d be there in the morning so you had little time. Bringing things with you, you warm up your car, frowning when you head how much it struggled to even turn on. Waiting for a few, you look at your things and made sure you brought everything. Soon, you pull out of the driveway and head to Lana’s house. Your grip on the steering wheel tightened as you think about wether or not they would like the gifts you got. Suddenly you hear a strange noise as you drive, frowning again as you listen. Luckily you got to Lana’s house before your car could do anything else stupid. Knocking on the door, you shiver as you wait for someone to open up. You could hear laughter coming from inside as Kit greets you. “Hey Y/n, Merry Christmas!” He says and helps you in, taking your coat and boots off. “It’s so cold out there, I’m glad you’re here safe.” His voice was soft and warm as he spoke. It was dripping with honey when he calls out to his kids to come help and greet you.

Julia rushed to you and helped with your things while Thomas made sure you were warm with a cup of hot cocoa. “We missed you Miss Y/n!” Julia said happy as she placed the wrapped presents under the tree. Your smile grew as you told them how much you missed them too. Lana hugs you as she greets you, telling you how glad she was that you were here. “It’s so cold, how did you even get out of the house?” She says and leads you to the couch. “Don’t know but my car was paying the price. It was making a weird noise every time I pressed the breaks.” You say sighing, you didn’t have the money to fix your car entirely but you did have enough to change the breaks.

Kit crosses his arms. “You probably need new ones because whenever it gets cold, the breaks become stiff.” He says and thinks more. “You maybe don’t have the right breaks? I found fix your car, just bring it in.” Kit says with a smile. “Really? I appreciate it…the guy I used to go to would always charge me more.” You say, sipping your hot cocoa. “They tend to do that because men think women don’t know about cars.” Lana says and rolls her eyes a bit. “Kit is honest though, there isn’t a mean bone in his body.” Lana smiles at him and he bashfully laughs, shyly scratching his neck.

“Papa, can we open presents now?” Thomas asks as he sits in his lap, making puppy dog eyes to make Kit give in. Looking at Lana for confirmation, Kit let’s them open presents. “I got a car!! It’s red like papa’s!” Thomas says as he shows Lana his first present. Julia gasps as she rips the paper from a stethoscope. “Papa look! Now I can be a doctor!” She says to Kit with excitement. They open the rest and run around while playing with their new toys. Lana hands you a gift, it was heavy to your surprise. “You didn’t have to…” you say, smiling shyly. “Yes I did. Now go on and open it.” She says, smiling softly.

Carefully, you peel the wrapping and gasp as you held a beautiful porcelain cookie jar. The one you had always been eyeing from afar. “Lana…this is too much. It’s perfect even .” You say and place it somewhere safe before hugging her. The gift wasn’t grand but for you, it was everything. Kit smiles and taps your shoulder, handing you a small present. “It’s from the kids. I think you’ll like it.” He says and watches as you open it. It was a small crocheted doll of you. “They begged a friend of mine to make this for you. I think it came out pretty.” He says and watches as you gently touch every detail. “It is very pretty…they didn’t have to.” You say and hug both Julia and Thomas, their giggles filling the room as you do.

“I do have something for you. I asked Lana which cookies were your favorite and I made them.” You hand him his red bag of cookies. His eyes widen and he immediately takes a bite out of one. “They taste just like my mama’s cookies…this is the best…” he smiles widely and hands you and Lana your presents. Lana smiles as she puts on the bracelet that was given and helps you with yours. “This is so pretty…thank you Kit.” You say shyly and you with the little charm of a rose on your bracelet. Lana’s had a daisy as the main charm. “This is the best, I’m never taking it off.” She says and hugs Kit.

You all head to the dining room to have breakfast, Lana and you helping the kids with what they wanted. Lana had made pancakes and waffles, making the kids more excited. Sitting down next to Kit with Julia on your other side, you eat your food. “Lana, I forgot how good you cook. I might have to steal you.” You say laughing, Lana shaking her head in amusement. Kit helps Thomas put syrup on his pancakes, smiling softly as he cuts it up for him too. Julia begins to ask you a bunch of questions about baking, her eyes widening as you tell her about all the things you can make. Thomas butts in saying that he could probably bake everything in the world. “I don’t think even Y/n could bake everything, Tom.” Lana says as she finishes up her food. “I don’t think so either.” You say giggling and yelp Lana clean up as soon as everyone is done.

As the day goes on, you all play in the snow, play games, watch movies, and bake. It was like a Christmas movie but in real life. Soon the day turned into night and the children were absolutely exhausted from the exciting day. Before you left, Julia and Thomas hugged you and watched as you, Kit, and Lana walk up to your car. Getting cold, they both run back inside. “I don’t think you should drive home in this car, Y/n.” Lana said as she hears the transmission make a weird noise when Kit turned the car on. “I don’t have anything else, Lan…” you sigh and try to figure out a way to get home in your mind. “Take my car, I don’t have anywhere else to be for the holidays anyway.” She says, handing you her keys. “I trust you.”

After saying goodbye you head home. The concern for you was still ringing in your mind, why were they so afraid? It’s not as if you haven’t been driving with a broken car before. Shaking your head, you ignore the conflict in your head. As you pull into the driveway, you shiver a bit. The wind came back and it was bone freezing cold; along with the wind cams bad memories. As you unlock your door, you get dejavú, remembering what is was like to be sobbing in the cold because your key wasn’t going in the lock. Taking your coat off and hanging it, you remember that no one will ever help you take it off. Heading to your room, you lay in bed and remember that you had one one to keep you warm. It was always the same.

Y/n don’t do that. Don’t start to push yourself down. I told you that you would have someone that loves you. Even the writer of his story wants you two to be together. Just let it happen, please. You both need it.

Yes, both you and him.

Don’t argue with me on this because he’s just as troubled as you are. Sure he’s had a bit more luck in the love department but that’s because he’s one of the most handsome men in town.

Don’t start thinking that you’re not beautiful either. You’re one of the pretty women too, now go to sleep. Kit is coming tomorrow to bring a rental for you.

Good night, little dove.

The next morning you ride, tears still clinging onto your lashes from crying while sleeping. Wiping them away, you lay there thinking about what that voice in your head had said. You knew you weren’t delusional, the voice sounded to real. You decided to test something. “If you’re real…give me a sweet letter from that person you spoke about.”

A letter? That’s too simple, my love.

“Too simple? Fine, then…bring him to me.” You say, your voice quivering slightly. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Your eyes widen as you quickly got changed, flying down the stairs to your front door. Eyes widening more, you peer through the peep hole. “Kit..?” You say to yourself before opening the door. Kit’s face lights up, his eyes scan over your appearance. You didn’t feel uncomfortable by this, Kit was just admiring how comfortable you looked. “Mornin’ Y/n. Did I wake you?” He says, smiling still. “No, not at all. It’s cold, come in?” You say, shivering a bit. “I can’t, I have to go to the store. Lana sent me away while her and the kids made something for me. I got your rental here.” He says, handing you the keys. You didn’t want to admit that you felt a bit sad that he couldn’t come in, how foolish of you. “Oh! The red one? It’s too pretty, Kit.” You say, shyly toying with the keys. “Not prettier than you, miss.” He says, for a moment panic flashes through his eyes at what he said.

“Me? Kit, don’t be ridiculous.” You say, your voice becoming slightly quieter. “Yes you…why wouldn’t I think your pretty?” He says, being more bold this time. Kit crosses his arms and looks at you, sighing softly. “What are you trying to do, Mr. Walker? Bring an older woman’s hopes up? It’s not funny or a game to me…thank you for the car. I’ll make sure to pay you extra when I get my car back.” You say quickly, starting to shut the door. Kit quickly puts his foot on the door, groaning at how hard it hit him. “Y/n no. Listen to me please. Just for a second…” he says, not pushing open the door, just holding it. “What else is there to say Kit? A man like you shouldn’t be associated with someone like me anyways.” You say, pulling the door open slight to see him. Kit’s eyes were desperate as he peered into yours.

“Why not? You’re so beautiful…when I touched your hand for the first time, I felt somethin’. I don’t know what it is but I do know that it came from you.” You frown a bit and shake your head. “No you didn’t…” Kit sighs and takes your hands, holding them to his chest. You could feel how rapid his heartbeats were, eyes widening. “Do you feel that? That’s what happens every time I see you. It’s even faster now because you’re touching me.” He says, his breathing becoming ragged in desperation. Kit wanted you to see and feel what he felt for you. “It’s only been two weeks, I know…but I’ve only felt this once before and I lost that feeling to something tragic. I can’t help it…”

You both stare at each other, your hands still on his heart, his own on yours. Hesitating, you move your hands to his cheeks, cupping them with your warmth. Your own mind was reminding you of what happened earlier in the morning. They brought you Kit. Kit was the one they spoke of. Kit leans into your touch, sighing something while closing his eyes. “You have to believe me…please.” He says, your thumbs softly caressing his face. “I do…just give me time to get used to this. I’m not…I’ve never…” your words fail you as he opens his eyes again. “You’ve never been…loved? Well loved like this anyway. But how?” He questioned, pulling you close to him and engulfing you in his embrace. “I don’t know…” the phone from inside rings and you jump slightly, startled.

“I’m going to take you up on the offer to come inside, it is too cold. I can barely feel my hands.” He says chuckling a bit. You frown and hold his hands to warm them up as you answer. “Hello? Oh Lana, hi…yes he’s here…what? Tell me wha- oh…you knew this whole time? Lana Winters I swear you will be the death of me…alright I’ll tell him…bye I love you too.” You hang up the phone and sigh, looking up at him. “Lana said to come back because it’s ready. She also said to bring me along…but I’m not ready at all.” You say, gently rubbing his cold hands to make them warm up faster. “Go get ready, I’ll wait.” He says, hesitating before kissing your forehead. Your face flushed a bright red before running off to get ready.

Groaning in frustration as you try to zip up your coat, you face him. “Can you..?” he just smiles and zips it up for you, leaning down to help you with your boots. “There, alright let’s go.” Kit opens the doors for you and you head out and into his car. “They made breakfast over there, I do know that.” He says as he drives. Kit moves his free hand to yours and caresses it, humming to the song playing. Comfortable silence fills the car and you start to feel light. Pulling up to Lana’s driveway, you two head inside. The kids barreled towards you both and hugs were squeezed in. “Did you tell her, Papa? Did you? Did you?!!” Julia asks. Kit shushes her quickly and leads her away, telling her a few things. “Tell me what..?” You say as you were taken to the living room by Lana. “You know what, love.” She says and smiles, holding your hands. “Are you hungry? The kids really wanted waffles again.” She says, you nodding in response.

You eat your food with Kit, him purposely knocking he knees with yours. You gently slap his thigh to tell him to stop, making him laugh a little. “You’re childish, Kit.” You say as you laugh too, finishing up. “Give it to me.” You say, reaching for his plate. Kit shakes his head, taking yours and washing it along with his. “No, go with Lana. They’re about to watch another movie.” He says with a smile, kissing your cheek gently. You nod and go over to them, Julia sitting in your lap to watch the movie. Lana comes back in with sweets and other things for snacks, Kit right behind her with popcorn. He sits right next to you and held your free hand, making you blush softly.

As the movie plays, Julia plays with your hair. “Miss Y/n? Do you know how to braid?” She whispers in your ear, watching you then nod. Her face brightens and she sits between your legs so you could braid her hair while watching the movie. Kit watches your hands meticulously but gently pull hair into certain places and part the hair as well. You had done small cornrows along the top of her head and stopped halfway to leave the rest of the hair out. Julia happily sat back when you finished to keep watch the movie, playing with your hair again. Kit’s hand comes up to your mouth to feed you popcorn, smiling softly as you chew. “Kettle corn.” He whispers to you, eating some himself. “I love this better than the butter popcorn.” You whisper back and steal some of his popcorn.

When the movie ended, you hear a yawn from Thomas. “Too long?” You ask him and smile softly when he nods tiredly. “It was two hours long.” Lana says, yawning a bit herself. Julia was already sleeping between you and Kit and Thomas’ head was dropping every so often. “I think they need a nap…put them in their room. The beds are already set up anyways.” Lana said. You realize that they stayed over often, seeing as the pictures on the walls were adorned with their smiling faces. You and Kit carry the kids to bed, tucking them in and shutting the door. Hearing Kit sigh, you turn to face him. “What? Why are you smiling like that?” You ask, feeling his arms wrap around you. “You’re just really good with kids.” He mumbles onto your shoulder. Pulling away slightly to hold his hand, you both walk back to Lana. “I do have a degree in teaching.” You say and you both notice that Lana was sleeping peacefully on the couch. “I guess we’re the only ones awake now.” He says and sits on the other couch after turning off the television. “I guess so…” your lips form a smile and you sit next to him. “Wanna go somewhere?” He asks, taking your hand in his. “Where? I don’t think we could go to the park.” You let out a giggle and look up at him. “Library? I haven’t been there and I heard it was nice…” he says shyly. Smiling you nod and get up quickly and quietly, leaving a note for Lana before heading out the door with him.

Holding the door for you, Kit smiles brightly, already smelling the pages a book coming from the inside. You smile back and look around at how big the place was. “Wow…where do we start?” You ask and Kit takes your hand, taking you to the fiction section. “Fantasy is my favorite.” He says, scanning the books with you. “Me too, I love the idea of there being a knight in shining armor falling in love with the cold queen.” You say and gasp quietly, taking a book out. “Little Women? I’ve wanted to read this for so long…” you say, thumbing through the pages. You hear Kit walk over to you, peering over your shoulder. “I heard its real good.” He says and takes a book out. “Dracula sounds fun. I think it’s in old english though.” He says and looks over at you, smiling softly. “Should we take these out or look for other books?” You ask him, looking over at the one in his hand. “Let’s look around more and then we can decide.” He said and looks over at the non-fiction. “Or we could stay here to look at more fun books. I don’t like science like that…” he says and you giggle quietly.

Your fingers gently graze through the pages of different books, still holding Little Women in your arms. Kit would go through many books and could’ve for the life of him pick which one he wanted. Frowning at how indecisive he was, he just picked up a random one from his small pile. “A Wizard of Earthsea…sounds good.” Kit says to himself and turns to you, letting out a small chuckle. “Just get the Little Women book. There is no use in you looking around for more.” You shyly nod and follow him around as he walked towards the librarian. Helping you both get a library card, they check the books out for you and hang them back, saying thank you for visiting. You and Kit nod and head over to the small coffee shop next door, excited about the books that were checked out.

Sitting down at one of the sofa chairs, you watch as Kit get’s coffee for himself and hot chocolate for you. You frown as to watch how flustered the woman at the counter was as he spoke. He was oblivious to how much an effect he had on people. To ignore the insecurities that started to pop up in your brain, you begin to read your book. Your mind starts to drift as you immerse yourself in the book, not noticing when Kit walks up with the drinks in his hands. “Here you go, darlin’.” He says and watches you slightly jump at his voice. “Oh, thank you.” You say, putting down your book and sipping the hot chocolate. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” He asks you, watch you frown a bit as you nod. “Yeah, why? Is it because I jumped a little? I was really into the book.” You say and watch him set down his cup, sitting next to you. “No, you just seem different. You look sad all of a sudden. I know it’s not because of the book.” He says and your eyes widen a bit.

I’m looking at you right now and I can’t even see a difference…astonishing.

Oh shut up for a second. I have to conceal this.

Conceal what? How you truly feel? Please Y/n, don’t be ridiculous. Just tell him.

No, I refuse to let this ruin me.

Y/n, you’re acting like a fool. Do as I tell you, he’s kind.

That’s the problem. He’s so kind that it attracts others much prettier than I am and you know it.

Don’t start with that.

You don’t start. We all know he’s-

“Y/n?” You blink and frown a bit. “Sorry, just a lot on my mind.” Kit shook his head and leans in a bit, cupping your cheek. “No, you went away for a second.” He says and watches you carefully.

What does he mean? I’m confused.

I don’t know…

“There! You just did it…where do you go in that pretty mind of yours?” You realize in that moment that he could see and feel you talk to someone in your mind. Shaking your head, you deny anything and just go back to reading, your palms sweating a little from nervousness. “Alright…I won’t pry.” He says and opens his own book, reading it quietly. The silence that engulfed you two was heavy and thick, you hated it.

Your mind couldn’t focus on the book anymore, making you close it and sigh softly. “Kit?” You say, looking at him. He looked frustrated as he read. “Hmm?” He hums and glanced up at you before going back to reading. “Is it good so far?” You ask, trying to ease the tension. “Yeah it’s good…I think Julia would like this when she gets older.” He says and flips the page. You nod and sip your drink, seeing a woman come up to you both. “Hello sorry to interrupt, that woman over there told me to give this to you sir.” She say and hands him a cinnamon roll. “Oh no thank you.” Kit says, flashing a smile. “I don’t eat sweets. Tell her thank you.” He says and goes back to reading as she walks away. You watched as both women speak become embarrassed, making you smirk just a little.

“Why did you lie?” You ask as you turn your attention back to Kit. “I didn’t. I don’t eat sweets…that are made from somewhere other than you.” He says and smiles again, reaching for your hand. You pull your hand away quickly and shake your head. “Don’t lie again.” You look down at your book again and try to distract yourself from Kit’s pained expression. “Are you embarrassed that I take a liking to you?” Kit watches as you shake your head. “I’m embarrassed but not because of you. I just don’t understand why a handsome young man such as yourself would want a woman who is older and less prettier than everyone else.” Turning the page, you sip the last bit of the hot chocolate. “A woman who’s…never even been kissed. Aren’t you ashamed to even be associated with someone like me? A flawed and unwanted individual.” You say, finally looking at him. His demeanor completely changed, he looked angry. “Never mind, let’s just go. I’m tired.” You say and head out the cafe door, shivering as you walk back to his car.

Stupid…I’m so fucking stupid.

You are stupid for sabotaging yourself.

Why thank you for reminding me. How sweet of you.

Anytime…Y/n just relax. You’re going to slip and fall if you keep walking this fast.

Who cares? Maybe I’ll die and not make anyone’s life worse.

Don’t you dare. Just get in the car and wait for him.

Rolling your eyes, you get to the car and sit inside, shivering still. You see Kit not long after you had arrived. “Y/n what the hell were you thinking? It’s cold and you could’ve fell.” He says as he gets in, turning the car on to warm you both up. Kit still looked angry, making you look away and just answer with nods. “Y/n look at me.” He says after a minute of silence. You hesitate as you look at him again. “What? If you’re going to argue with me again over-“

Cupping your cheeks with his cold hands, he leans in and kisses you for just a moment. Your eyes widen as he pulls away, frowning still. “Now I’m for first kiss. I’m going to be your first date, first boyfriend, first everything. I’m also going to stay that way. There won’t be another.” Leaning in, you kiss him first this time. Although you were inexperienced, he let you take the lead. The kiss was soft and filled with longing. He could feel how much you wanted to be loved just by kissing you. Your icy cold hands cup his cheeks as you deepen the kiss, feeling how much he wanted you. Pulling away before anything escalated, Kit stares at you but with a smile. “For a first time kisser, you’re quiet talented. The best kiss I’ve ever had.” He says and you hide your face. “Whatever, just drive.” You say as he does as you tell him.

In the next coming weeks, you and Kit become absolutely inseparable. Kisses and lingering touches whenever you two could get the chance to do so. Everyone knew that you two were an item, to your surprise not many people criticized you for being with him. Sighing as you get home from a date, you slip off your shoes. You were already longing for him, missing the way he looked at you. Laying in your bed after changing and showering, your mind drifts. Just then the phone rings “It’s nine…who would be calling at nine?” You get up and pick up the phone. “Hey sweetheart, I’m sorry for callin’. You were going to sleep weren’t you?” You hear Kit’s voice say. Smiling to yourself you giggle a bit. “I was…why is there anything wrong?” You hear Kit clear his throat. “No I just missed you. I’m using a pay phone because I wanted to know if I could come over actually. I know we just saw each other but…I miss you.” You could hear him smiling over the phone. Julia and Thomas were with Lana this weekend so you say yes.

Not that long after, you hear a few knocks. “Hi baby.” He says when you open the door, hugging him close. “You’re cold.” You say as he peppers your face with kisses. “Maybe a little.” He says and closes the door, taking off his coat. “We haven’t done this in a minute. It’s like a sleepover for only us.” He says and smiles as you roll your eyes. Leading him to the couch, you both cuddle while watching the late night show that was always on. “You looked so pretty today…you look even better now.” He says and gently kisses your cheek. Your face flushed and you shake your head. “Stop it…”

Your face was now inches from his; tentatively he leans in and kisses you. This time it felt different. You both were hungry for each other and it was apparent to you in the kiss. Running your fingers through his hair, he slips his tongue in and groans softly. “You’re driving me crazy…” he mumbles into the kiss and smirks when you giggle a bit. His kisses moves down to your neck, licking and gently sucking to not make a mark. Your body felt like it was on fire each time he kisses you. “Kit wait-“ you say and you both look at each other. His pupils were blown out and filled with lust and love. As he stares at you more he realizes your dilemma. “We don’t have to, Y/n.” Kit’s hands gently caress your cheeks as you thought it over. “I want to but I don’t know anything…” all he does is smile and say, “no problem. It’s all about you anyways.”

Kit stands and gently takes your hand, kissing it before letting you lead him to your bedroom. You sigh in bliss as his hands graze your skin, taking off your night gown. Kit smiles and kisses you again, his fingers still grazing your back, making you shiver. As you two kiss and giggle in between each others lips, you pull off his shirt. His lips move once again to your neck as he unclips your bra, hearing your breath hitch. He feels your hands moving towards your chest to cover yourself, smiling softly still. “It’s only me, sweetheart.” He says and pulls off his pants. “I’ll take everything off first, would that make it better?” He asks. “A little…” you watch as he pulls off the final article of clothing off. Your cheeks flush pink and you uncover yourself, letting yourself be vulnerable. Kit looks at you for permission before leaning down and taking a nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue over it while massaging the other breast. “You’re so beautiful…” he mumbles as your fingers run through his hair, letting out small whines of pleasure. Your body was on fire again and you let him pull off your panties, blushing more as you hear him groan at the sight of your wet folds.

“My perfect girl…” his words trailed off as he steps closer to you, holding you close as he kisses your pretty soft lips. He never got tired of kissing you, the way your fingers would tug at his hair made him drunk. Gently pushing you on the bed, he kisses your legs, trailing up to your inner thighs. “Kit…” you say shyly, wanting the bed to swallow you hole under his burning gaze. Kit looks up at you with a smile as he lays a kiss on your clit. “You’re so pretty…everything you have is pretty.” His breath on your pussy made you clench around nothing, making him chuckle. His tongue circles around your clit in slow movements, making you whine and arch your back. Beginning to lap at your folds and moan, his arms make your pretty, thick thighs rest on his shoulders. Your moans get higher in pitch and louder as you get more comfortable, getting closer by the minute. Suckling softly on your clit, you feel his index finger circle around your tight hole. Looking up at you for your permission, he sinks his finger in. Pumping his finger slowly as he laps at your clit makes your legs shake with pleasure. Pushing another digit in, he curls his fingers and watches as you get closer to being undone. “One more baby, wait until I have one more in okay?” He says encouragingly as he stretched you out with his fingers. “Good girl.” Kit mumbles onto your pussy, growing more hungry for your taste. When he feels you’re ready, he slips in one more and pumps them in at a faster pace, coming up from between your thighs to kiss your breasts. Your moans grow louder, holding onto his free arm as your get close. “Are you gonna cum for me sweetheart?” His pace going faster as he feels you tighten around his fingers. “Yes! Yes please, Kit…don’t stop please!” You moan out. Your legs start shaking more as your orgasm comes full force, moaning loudly as you do. Kit groans as he rides out your high, pulling out his fingers. “Look at the mess you made, darlin’.” He says and kisses your lips. “Did so good for me, think you can handle more?” He asks and watches as you nod eagerly.

Moving himself in between your legs, he sucks on his fingers. “You taste so good, baby.” He whispers in your ear, making you hide your face in his neck and shake your head. “Shut up…” you mumble and feel him move to see you. “Are you ready baby?” He asks, gently caressing your cheek. You nod and watch as he spits on his free hand, stroking himself slowly. You hear him groan softly as he teases himself on your pussy. “Kit…cmon.” You whine and make him chuckle, sinking in his tip. Kit feels you tense as you wrap your arms around him. “You alright?” He asks, gently caressing your body as he keeps going. You nod but stay silent, making him cup your cheeks and kiss you, trying to aid the slight pinch your feeling. After a minute he feels you roll your hips, making you both moan. “That’s my girl.” He says and slowly rolls his hips with you, feeling your pussy clench around him in pleasure. Your moans make him dizzy, the feeling of your nails grazing his back make him want to go faster. When you start begging him to go faster, he barely holds back. His thrusts make you feel euphoric as you arch your back, him taking a nipple into his mouth again. “Kit please don’t stop!” You say as he goes harder. His groans slowly fill the room along with yours, his arms holding you close as he fucks you. “Kit I’m close-“ you moan out when he pounds into your pussy a bit harder, making your toes curl. “Cum for me baby, do it please…fuck!”

Kit’s moans get louder with your own as you both reach that sweet bliss. Cumming around his cock, you whine as you feel him cum inside you. You both still as you both start come down from your highs once again. Your mind was foggy but you could hear him praising you and could feel him kiss your neck softly. “You did so good for me, baby. I love you so much…” he mumbles and holds you impossibly closer. You whine as he pulls out, shushing you with a kiss. “Hold on pretty, let me get us cleaned up okay?” He gets up and quickly goes to your bathroom, getting a warm wet cloth. As he gets that, you think to yourself. There was no way you just did that. Is this what people meant when they said that sex was great? Either way, you were glad it was with Kit. Coming back into the room, he cleans you up and kisses you everywhere. You reach for him and he obliged, pulling you close to him. “Kit…that was..well-“ you cut yourself off with a giggle. “I love you…” you say to him, laying your head on his chest. “I love you way more baby. I’m never letting you go.” He said.

And he meant every word he said.

Authors Note: im sorry that this isn’t proofread, i literally had no time to do so 💔💔 i hope you guys enjoyed the absolutely horrendous smut at the end but like i tried okay? i’ll get better i suppose 😰

Taglist: @yes-divine-ruler @preselelle @evanpetersfav @quicksilversg1rl @kaylaperiodqueenslay @theyluvvkoi @bldmoth @nvtallowed

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Promises

Part two of Accepted

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: Wednesday’s family invites you to spend Christmas with them, and Wednesday doesn’t expect at all the gift you got for her.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Wednesday X Fem!Reader

This request has been done to me privately by the same person that made the requests for “Accepted”. I swear this person gives me the best ideas! I hope y’all like it🖤✨

———

After parents weekend, your relationship with Wednesday only got better and it was the same for the relationship with her parents. Whenever they’d call Wednesday through the crystal ball, they’d always make some time to talk to you as well. But recently you had been planning something for Christmas, given the fact that it was close now. One day you were in Wednesday’s room after having done your homework like everyday and you were sitting together on the bed. You wanted to say you were cuddling, but it wasn’t quite it. You just laid together in bed, facing each other and talking about random stuff. Wednesday still didn’t feel comfortable with cuddling and you didn’t mind, you would wait for her forever. However even if it wasn’t cuddling she still showed love with little gestures. She gave you her favorite hoodie, and you would catch her staring at your lips.

Today though was different, you were nervous and even though you tried to hide it, Wednesday could see right through you. “You’re acting weird” she told you as she sat up, eyeing you for signs of nervousness. You sat up as well. She knew you were trying to lie to her. “What? No, no definitely not” you chuckled, trying to shrug away your nervousness. “I’m just kind of nervous for the maths test” you made up, even though you knew she wouldn’t fall for it. “We don’t have a maths test” there it was. You knew she had discovered you were lying. “Right. Uhm…” you couldn’t made up anything else “just trust me Nes. I’m doing something but I can’t tell you what it is. I promise I’m not cheating if that’s what you’re afraid of” you said and you saw her pull away from you. “You better. If you break my heart I’ll make sure that you have nothing else to live for. I’m going to have a shower now” she said and you laughed slightly at her threat, you loved this side of her “I love you too Nes” you said smiling and she shot you a soft look before going to the bathroom.

You decided to take advantage of this moment to use Wednesday’s crystal ball and call Morticia. “Come on please answer be quick” you said, screaming internally at Morticia. Luckily she answered “hello my dear. What did you want to talk to me about?” With Thing’s help you had sent her a letter telling her that you had to tell her something and that you would call her tonight. “I want to get Wednesday a Christmas present and I need your permission to do so” you started and the older woman looked at you with a smile “sweetheart of course you can get her a Christmas present-“ you interrupted her shaking your head “it’s not a normal Christmas present” the smile disappeared from her face as she urged you to continue “it’s a ring. I want to buy her a promise ring” the woman looked at you astonished as she then called her husband to tell her everything, with a smile on her face.

“How do you wish to make it?” Gomez asked you “well first of all I’ll make two, one for me as well because there’s other people here who like her and they need to know she’s mine” of course Morticia would smile at the kind of possession you had over her “I want to make it in white gold… I’ve been saving lots of money for it and I’m sure she’ll like it. She already knows this, but it’s a promise I want to make to her.. that I’ll always be by her side no matter what happens.” Morticia was about to reply but you heard her coming and you ended the call, going back to her bed.

She came in her room wearing her black towel around her body, hair wet and down on her shoulders. “You’re so beautiful” you said admiring her beauty, even without make up. Suddenly you got an idea, hopefully Wednesday would like it “can I do your hair? Pretty please?” You said pouting. She looked at you indecisively as she sighed. “Fine. But put it in braids” she said “nooo please not the braids. Just trust me, you’ll look perfect” you said holding her free hand -since the other one was holding her towel- “let me go change first” you smiled as you jumped happily around the room waiting for Wednesday to change into her pyjama.

When she returned, she was wearing a black oversize t-shirt that dropped on one shoulder and left it naked (inside Nevermore there were pretty high temperatures so you could wear t-shirts even in winter). You invited her to sit on her bed in front of you, who in the meantime had taken the hair dryer and the brush. You sat behind her, starting to brush her wet hair as you sometimes kissed her naked shoulders. Seeing her shiver made you almost satisfied and even more in love with her, especially because she was letting you. You kept kissing her shoulders for a while and she had leaned slightly more into you. “You’re making me vulnerable (Y/N)” she said, her voice low and soft. “I know, and that’s why I’ll stop now” you said. You always respected her wishes and knew that she liked affection, but up until a certain point.

You stopped kissing her shoulder and she wanted to admit she now wanted more of it, but didn’t want to see needy, because Wednesday is not needy. You made her hair wavy and you didn’t tie them. Once she looked at herself in the mirror her eyes lit up and you could tell she loved the hair. She loved them so much that the next day at school she wore them down.

The following days you would go to town more than necessary. You told Wednesday you were going to se Doctor Kinbott but in reality you were buying presents for Wednesday’s entire family, since they had invited you to spend Christmas with them. You also went to a ring shop in town, and found the perfect couple of rings. It was in white gold and had spiral black stripes. It was the perfect ring for you and Wednesday. They costed a lot, but you spent the money you had for the love of your life.

When you and Wednesday arrived at their home, you were absolutely in love with their house. It was a huge mansion, all in black. The insides of it was too, so creepy but yet so elegant. Wednesday gave you time to look around as Lurch brought in the gifts you had made them, though you kept the ring in your pocket. Soon you two got to the living room and Morticia immediately went to you “(Y/N)! It’s so good to see you again… oh we missed you so much!” She said as she hugged you, you reciprocated the hug. “You literally talked through the crystal ball yesterday” Wednesday pointed out. You smiled at her and so did her mother, but didn’t comment on it. Thing also came fo say hi, as he also had been away for a while. “Hello there little fella.” He started gesturing at you. “You do know that I still can’t understand your finger language right?” You said, making everyone in the room laugh. “He’s saying he missed you” Pugsley said and you smiled “I missed you too”

You all continued having lunch and talking, until it was time for the presents. You started giving yours to pugsley, it was a bag full of different kinds of explosive he could fish with; then it was Gomez’s turn. You bought him a beautiful golden sword, a collection one. Then at last you gave Morticia her gift, a black carnivorous plant, which you knew was her favorite. Useless to say they all loved their gifts. “I’ll give you yours later Nes… it’s something private” you said and Morticia smiled at you knowing exactly what it was about.

Then it was the turn of the Addams family to give you your gift, and it was Wednesday giving it to you for the whole family. It was a silver bracelet. “It’s a symbol of the Addams family, this was my mothers… it signals a new member has joined the Addams family. Last time my father gave it to my mother and now it’s time for me to give it to you… do you accept it?” You smiled brightly and took it, immediately wearing it “of course I accept it!” You said looking at it. “Oh cariña, we’re so glad to have you in our family. If you ever need anything you know you can count on us.

After lunch Wednesday brought you to your room. Useless to say that her room was the prettiest in the entire house, and the house was so pretty too, but her room was just pretty, kind of like she was. You knew it was her writing our now, but you couldn’t wait any longer. You went behind her chair, gently turning her chair towards you as you knelt down in front of her “what is so important to disturb my writing time?” She asked you, pouting. She was still upset you hadn’t given her her present.

“Your Christmas present” you said and saw as her eyes lit up slightly. “Close your eyes” she looked at you confused, but she trusted you so she closed her eyes. This gave you time to take out the little ring box and open it for her to see. “You can open your eyes now” you said and you saw her oblige. As soon as she saw the box or rings she immediately took them to examine them “is this for me?” She asked as she took one in her hands, handling it very carefully. “Well, one is mine but yeah” you said and smiled looking how she looked between it and you, she was so in love with you but never admitted. Not that she didn’t want to, but because she never found a way to express her emotions.

“No one has ever bought this things for me” she said, trying to suppress a smile. You loved this side of her and you brought your hand up to caress her cheek lightly “well apparently you weren’t the love of their lives. I only bought this because you’re the love of my life Nes” you said and finally she let out the prettiest smile you have ever seen on her face. You gently took the ring from her hand and slid it in her ring finger, before doing the same yourself with your own finger. “I love you Nes” you said and she got up from your chair to hug you tightly.

From that day on she never took the ring of.

[glitchyk]

Hey uh… I hope you guys won’t mind me randomly dumping this here

Basically— I think you four are really cool people and I’m happy that I unintentionally inspired the mafia au, because it gave me an excuse to get to know y’all, which I’d wanted to do.. for a while. Quite a while, since you all seemed so nice, but I kinda felt like it was overstepping to try and talk to you directly, which is why I never did. I could send the message directly but I uh… yeah this is more confident space wise. Aka Discord will not let me write a Glitchyk-sized writing.

…Fuck this feels awkward.

Moshieee: I’ve said this probably too much, but uh.. I really appreciate you, you inspire me to do more stuff, as I’ve said before, you inspired that one AU I made, and you’re just so sweet in general. You remind me of a really caring older sibling, you’re not just some goof ball, but it’s nice to have serious talks, sometimes. Maybe it’s because I feel like I relate to you, also I think you’re really awesome. You’re the first person I saw on here that was doing traditional art and not online art, and you were so fun and creative that it inspired me to do things.

Bun: Hey! I didn’t know you much at the start, I just saw you around, and I thought you were interesting, especially since you were nice and for some reason followed me after moshieee did??? It’s fun to talk to someone who’s openly goofy, as all of you are, and it’s just nice. I dunno why, I just really like talking to you, maybe because we give off the same chaotic vibes at times. Also maybe bc you make the art of a character you like, I make the edit for it, which makes you wanna make more art, and it’s a cycle/silly

Dia: Online punching bag🫵/silly. You may not think you’re cool, but I think you’re really awesome, and amazing human being, your art is good and I find your story interesting for tadc and you’re just— fucking awesome overall. I’m happy that I have unintentionally inspired stuff with you, because I’m happy that I could give someone a good idea, and that someone be a good artist, so an idea isn’t wasted on my shitty art. I like just dumping random lil prompts on you, and also we vibe, I feel like we’re a bit similar (plus happy birday ✨)

Rabid: Amazing. Fucking awesome human being. Your art is amazing, your personality is chaotic and I feel like mostly matches mine, you literally inspire me every day with your awesome art, characters, storytelling, and I feel so fucking proud when I see you do your art. I didn’t know you personally when I started feeling proud, but I guess it’s because (as I’ve said various times) that it’s so cool seeing someone around my age doing such good art, I have similar feelings for Neptune since their art is awesome, but I dunno them well and so I will not write a paragraph about them (yet/j). I love randomly annoying you, since you seem fine with it (if you’re not please tell me—) and it’s just so cool to be able to see someone around my age, who’s so damn amazing. It inspires me a lot, makes me wanna do stuff. Oh! Also something I almost forgot to add, I saw your corruption AU for tadc and that also just made me so much more interested in you, since I had a sort of ‘corrupted’ AU that I made before I even came on tumblr. Is basically all this stuff added up made me really wanna interact with you!

I’m happy I unintentionally inspired the mafia au, because it gave me a reason to comfortably interact with y’all. In all, all of you are awesome, in art, personality, and story wise, in all different amazing ways. Sometimes I sometimes feel like I can never compare to all of you in art, and I don’t know why you all willingly became acquaintances with me, but it mostly inspires me to try harder. Y’all are awesome… that’s my mini positivity dump for now, had to restrain myself from writing a whole fucking thing on every detail of this subject, since I know I have to eat food and I will not type and eat at the same time.

@dia-smthidk @rabid-mercenary15 @moshieee @bunnybunnsowo

[autismguy55]

hello! i was wondering if you have any headcanons about the lotf boys before they crashed on the island? like their home life and other stuff.

i hope this question doesn't bother you! your art is amazing btw :)

it doesn’t bother me at all!!! i love talking about this book! :) my thoughts aren’t all together on it so this may be a little jumbled up but. yea :) gonna put this under the cut bc it’ll get long. also this is all just headcanon!

ralph - his mom died when he was young and his dad was in the navy, so he was in the custody of nannies and babysitters most of the time. legally, his guardian is his older brother (~10 years older) but his brother works a lot and generally does his own thing so ralph doesn’t see him often. ralph spent most of his time bored inside and is very well-read because of this, though he isn’t very good at wording his thoughts. his favorite book is the coral island (in the original manuscript he talked about it constantly - lol). we know he had ponies because of some flashbacks in the book, so he’s pretty good at horseback riding and generally enjoys the company of animals.

jack - catholicsaywhat? extremely religious. he could recite the bible backwards in his sleep. he prays his rosary until it leaves indents in his hands. he had a similar childhood to ralph with absent parents but it turned him into a bitter, bitter little thing. let’s face it he’s a teacher’s pet who bullies everyone when the teacher’s back is turned. i think he spent his formative years in dusty old libraries and sitting to get his portrait painted. he has a lot of pent up rage and violence in his heart. ummm… he’s a countertenor and actually a pretty good singer for his age. he likes to hit whistle notes and piss everyone off. i think he’s less one of those bullies who beats people up and more one of those kids who just makes you feel like shit thru words. also i think he’s tall as fuck lol giraffe headass

piggy - we know he’s an orphan and his aunt took care of him - i think we know the most about piggy’s backstory than any other boy in the book. he probably has a lot of cousins (his aunt’s kids) and has to share most of his stuff. he’s very smart, obviously, but he’s poor so he doesn’t go to a good school and relies a lot on the public library. i think he’d have pets. he seems like the kind of guy to have like, a hermit crab or a lizard or fish or something. he’s generally nice to people. definitely an atheist but his aunt makes him come to church every sunday. he has one teacher who he loves and looks forward to that class every single day. pretty cool guy i don’t have anything against him.

simon - coal mines for you gayboy. jokes aside he has a lot of younger siblings and doesn’t mind taking care of little kids. definitely into photography and painting! he often goes on “wanders” and doesn’t come back until it’s 10pm and he’s covered in sticks and leaves and carrying some random woodland creature (“i made a friend!”). he’s epileptic and undiagnosed because it’s the 50s. got sick a lot when he was younger because he spent so much time outside, but his immune system has hardened up since then. he likes to read books but only so he can do character analysis. would also probably write. doesn’t have a lot of friends but he’s generally well liked at school and adults in town love him because he’s so polite. yeha.

that’s about it off the top of my head but yeaa… if u want to know more for a specific character lmk

[zombiepedia]

I’m so curious and I hope you don’t mind me asking but what was your first introduction to zombies? I know next to nothing about them bc they used to freak me out and I avoided anything about them, but finding your blog has made me super interested!! To the point where I was going to sign up for a uni course on them but found out the professor for it was quite shit so I didn’t :,) but yeah when did you first see/hear/learn about them? I’m so curious

:D i don't mind you asking at all i love talking about this!!!

well when i was young zombies also really frightened me (i still get zombie stress nightmares sometimes) but i've been a horror fan since i was a kid, so that never stopped me from getting really into zombie media anyway. there were several contributing factors i'd say? my first memory of REALLY loving something with zombies in it was with my childhood best friend. she had this really shitty Xbox 360 and we used to play COD zombies together for hours and hours. people always think i'm crazy when i say this (because COD zombies sucks) but it's a huge reason why i started loving zombies

in my formative years a lot of huge zombie centric franchises were at their peak as well (TWD and TLOU especially. and PVZ was HUGE) so i was of course very invested in those franchises growing up, and i had a lot of friends who were super into them too, especially TWD :D one of my best childhood memories is going to a huge TWD convention with my best friend and i got to meet Clementine's voice actor!!!

my mom also really loves zombies, and i don't share a lot of interests with her, but we always loved them together and would watch stuff together. my mom bought me a lot of zombie books to read and always encouraged that interest of mine. especially in middle school i was blowing through books she'd buy me like World War Z (novel, not movie), The Enemy series, In The After, and the TWD novels were just a few that i was consumed by when i read them. and then i started writing my OWN zombie stories in middle school, like self insert stuff with my friends, etc

and when i got older i started watching a lot more zombie movies (before i had been mostly invested in books, games, and shows because i find movies hard to sit through) and zombie movies are fascinating they have so much history!!! there are so many of them to enjoy with so many different takes on the genre!!! zombie centric music is really fun too, that's also something i got into when i was older. i love music about zombies (and horror music in general)

to quit rambling on and to answer your question super directly i think i ended up loving zombies because the people i love do too, albeit not as much as me lol, and the time period i grew up in (after the release of 28 Days Later and the revival of zombies in the early 2000s) was an absolute goldmine for really good zombie content

[seeingteacupsindragons]

This is the request anon. It's a bit difficult for me to be specific, because to be honest I don't really have a genre preference. I'm the type that will pick up anything that's good and/or fun. I guess I'm looking for books that don't get discussed often? Hidden gems, if your will. Not sure if this helps.

So a lot of these are going to be older, just because I can only read so much, and I don’t know that I’d call them all 5-star reads, but I liked them all at least a little enough to have fun with.

10 Things to Do Before I Die: A YA novel about a neurodivergent teenage music geek dealing with an anxiety disorder, neglectful parents, and some kind of nervous breakdown in dramatic fashion all over NYC.

Bitterwood: The first installment of a series of sci-fi novels masquerading as fantasy. It takes place in a world where dragons rule over humans and humans’ fight to take back some kind of freedom...as well as the various machinations of dragonkinds.

The Fire’s Stone: A standalone novel by queer author Tanya Huff following a traumatized bi man dealing with seriously internalized self-loathing, a bisexual playboy, drunkard prince trying to prove some value to his family, and a aro ace wizard who wants to save herself from an arranged marriage to the prince and learn all she can about magic before taking care of her country.

Mélusine: Is this one obscure? It won a Lambda award, but I also know the series sold so poorly the author rebooted under a different pen name. This is the first of the series The Doctrine of Labyrinths, a very heavy, dense, dark fantasy series with the gorgeous prose about trauma, abuse, mental illness, recovery, and how much damage those things can do to a person and how much damage those people can cause. It follows a wizard trying desperately to repair something he’s being blamed for and yet isn’t precisely responsible for and the brother who’s trying to keep him together and keep himself together. So many trigger warnings apply here. So many. Please look them up before reading this one.

Shatter the Sky: The first installment of a duology, this follows a girl from a colonized homeland trying to rescue the dragons of her heritage and save her kidnapped girlfriend. It’s not a five-star read imo, but it’s a strong debut novel, I think.

Spinning Starlight: A YA sci-fi novel retelling of the fairy tale “The Wild Swans.” I especially like that the love interest doesn’t show up for like the entire first third of the book because our protagonist has Things To Do!!! And he’s honestly a sweetheart.

The Holver Alley Crew: This one is technically part of a series and that series is part of a whole entangled Verse by the author, but you don’t actually have to read any of the rest of them. It’s a fantasy heist novel with very Ocean’s Eleven Vibes and traumatized brothers just trying to do their best to love and support each other. The author says the protagonist is not aro ace and just traumatized, but he kinda reads that way anyway, and there are other aro/ace and queer characters in the world, so that’s kinda nice.

I hope this list hit on something that sounds interesting and you hadn’t heard of. This is just the first stuff that comes to mind. As ever, you can find me on StoryGraph or Goodreads (which is a little outdated now since I switched over) to see what kinds of things I read to mine for recs.

[crackedmarrow]

I’ve been through this cycle before. I know I have and it’s funny because I did finally cut that person off and when I did the very thing I said was true.

I do wish that person the best then it happened a second time and then a third and even a forth there is nothing in the world that had proved me wrong and I’ve always been right… when I look at it all it’s kinda funny … this is funny in general.

I can’t lie though every one that I have encountered and trusted in a deeper level has always lead me to some form of disappointment worse than the last because I tell people about the last and they go and do the exact thing or even worse.

I cannot lie to myself anymore I will not lie to myself anymore because I do not hate anyone but I know when it’s my time to leave.

I’ve always had that push back even had to take drastic measures to escape something I knew no longer served me.

It’s the fact that I also to have always put my family first but when it comes to my family and their relationships it’s always shown they will put someone else first and I do not mind that I’ve grown up in that environment and it’s not bad it’s that when you have a significant other you tend to put them first and prioritize them because would you not want to be prioritized.

I can say with this relationship I have gotten better with it sometimes I do tend to slip up and answer my family calls it be bullshit but other times I be ready to separate.

In this relationship I’ve also learned people can forgive me and I respect it but it’s always been harder for me to forgive especially with me getting older I never use to speak about how things made me feel just went with the flow

Now in vocal to the point to where I feel it’s obnoxious but with all that being said

I said what the fuck I said.

This relationship ship was a little different though than the last this one somewhat gave me hope but u knew at the end ultimately it was not mine to have forever because it would mean me to turn a blind eye to things I find concerning but then again u don’t judge so that point in null and void.

I think it’s the fact that I don’t want to be deemed as a bad person because I’m not but I’ve always felt I was right and when your in a winning streak of being right and it’s not like it’s made up in my head it’s literally the fact that I was right and after years of detaching myself and moving on that’s when hard truths come out and by then I accept everything for what it was and then I keep it pushing

Typically people from my past like to be friends with me and I never use to mind until they wanted to obtain a spot that no longer existed or expected me to keep in contact with with.

I never really reach out unless I feel to and with those people I never get the urge to reach out.

I know what I can and cannot have and I know that at the end of the day.

Under no circumstances will I settle for half love half anything it’s either all or nothing with me.

I feel like I’ve been living in an illusion and ignoring yet acknowledging everything

I haven’t fully accepted my feelings nor have I fully been honest with myself

I say it and I say and I say what I feel but I feel like it’s always brushed away and hold no weight I always feel like maybe my emotions and mood swings are what’s making me feel this way and it’s lowkey guilt but then I think about all the times I’ve been right even about this relationship the stuff I’ve been right about the way I’ve felt

I feel like coming adulthood is the parade where everyone throws there mask off and everything becomes a battle of ego

And some people hold little to no dignity

And I can’t see myself fighting a man less war

If I’m fighting a war I need my army and my army alone to knock iff any competition that even attempts to think the thought to demolish my kingdom.

My mother coming to me tonight was more than enough more than a sign it was clarity it was that what I need and what I yearn for can come to me

I’ve summoned many things but I’ve also seen a lot as well

It’s the fact I still am concerned about lies and betrayal

I have done my fair share of wrong but I’ve always did it within the rules that is not taken account for.

I’ve always tried to do things the just way unless it was the revenge I sought after but that only came with the fact that I respected you and you disrespected me.

I am not moved by simple lust and limerance.

[mrzeecon]

Am I Relatable?

A couple of days ago, one of my friends told me something that has been echoing in my mind ever since. It wasn’t an insult, but it wasn’t exactly a compliment either. He said, “You’re not relatable. The stuff you post online just doesn’t speak to me.”

At first, I brushed it off. But like all comments that hit close to home, it gnawed at me slowly. Am I really not relatable? I started to question myself. I’ve always shared my thoughts openly, especially about my personal struggles, the demons I battle day in and day out. I post about feeling more lost as I grow older, about how I often feel like I’m floating through life without a clear direction. I talk about the unease that comes with age—the pressure to have it all figured out, the nagging feeling that time is slipping away while I’m still grasping for answers.

So how could I not be relatable? Surely, I can’t be the only one going through this, right?

When I started posting, I wasn’t doing it for validation. I wasn’t aiming for likes, shares, or followers. It was my outlet, a way to sort through the mental chaos. My content was raw, unfiltered. There was no grand strategy behind it. I wasn’t trying to sell a lifestyle or push an agenda. It was just me, throwing my thoughts out into the void of the internet, hoping maybe someone out there would understand.

What came as a shock was that people did understand. Slowly but surely, I started to gain followers. I remember the first time I noticed the number ticking up. Ten followers, twenty, then a hundred. That feeling of being lost that I had assumed was mine alone? It turns out that it resonated with a lot of people. People who, like me, feel the weight of the world pressing down on their shoulders. People who wake up every day with the same question I ask myself—Am I doing enough? Am I where I’m supposed to be?

Before I knew it, my little corner of the internet grew. What started with zero followers has now grown to over 4,000 and counting. Each new follower, each new comment, makes me pause. Who are these people who choose to follow me? Why do they listen to what I have to say? After all, I’m just another person fumbling through life, trying to make sense of things as I go. And then it hit me: they follow me because they see themselves in my words. They’re not looking for a guru with all the answers. They’re not expecting me to have it all figured out. They’re here because, like me, they’re searching. They’re fighting their own battles, and they find comfort in knowing that they’re not alone.

I think we all get caught up in the idea that being “relatable” means you have to be universally understood, that your story needs to resonate with everyone. But the truth is, not everyone will relate to me—and that’s okay. Because the people who do? They’re the ones who matter. The ones who read my posts and feel like they’re reading a page from their own life. They’re the ones who remind me why I started this journey in the first place.

My friend might not find my content relatable, and maybe that’s because his journey is different from mine. Maybe he’s in a different headspace, walking a different path. But that doesn’t mean I’m not relatable to someone else. It doesn’t mean that my story doesn’t matter.

The people who follow me—my 4,000 and growing—they are my people. They are the ones who get it. They are the ones who are on this same journey with me, fighting the same devils, questioning the same things. We’re in this together.

What started as a personal outlet has transformed into something much bigger. Every time I share a post about feeling lost, about struggling to find direction, someone out there connects with it. Someone reads those words and feels a little less alone. I think that’s what makes this so special. It’s not just about me anymore. It’s about all of us—the ones who feel like they don’t have it figured out, the ones who wrestle with doubt, the ones who fight every day just to keep going.

Together, we form a community. A network of souls who, despite feeling like we’re walking separate paths, are all heading in the same direction. We’re all searching for meaning, for purpose, for something to hold onto in this chaotic, unpredictable life.

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that being “relatable” isn’t about fitting into a mold or appealing to the masses. It’s about authenticity. It’s about being real. It’s about sharing your truth, no matter how messy or uncertain it may be, and trusting that somewhere out there, someone will hear it and say, “Me too.”

This is the story of Mr. Zeecon. It’s the story of how I went from zero followers to over 4,000 by simply being myself, by sharing the darkest parts of my mind and the uncertainties of my life. It’s a story that’s still unfolding, and it’s not just my story anymore—it’s our story. It belongs to every person who’s followed me, who’s read my posts, who’s found a piece of themselves in my words.

And as long as we have each other, we’ll keep going. We’ll keep sharing, keep growing, and keep pushing forward. The demons we face may be strong, but together, we’re stronger. This is Mr. Zeecon, not just in the making of a great story, but in the making of a shared journey—a journey that’s only just beginning.

To my 4,000 and counting: Thank you for being here. Thank you for seeing me, for understanding me, and for reminding me that even in my darkest moments, I am not alone. We are not alone.

We will continue to grow, we will continue to fight, and together, we will conquer whatever demons come our way. This is our story. Let’s make it great.

[ask-sister-solaris]

You said you wanted asks to distract you so do you mind if I ramble about small details that annoyed me about Ghostbusters Afterlife? (Mostly nitpicks about the setting)

4. Spinners,I know it's easier to make up a fake brand than to pay to have a real brand be in a movie but its clearly a stand in for Sonic (the fast food place,not the hedgehog lol) or a sonic copycat (dosent annoy me that much)

3. The fact the locals call it middle school instead of junior high when it's an old small town in the south (from my personal experience visiting family most folks still call middle school "junior high",usually older folks. Again tho not that bad)

2. None of the main (or main-ish) characters we meet have southern accents (I know it's probably so people can understand what they're saying,or they didn't feel it needed to be included) but it bugs me that characters that (as far as we know) grew up in Summerville thier whole lives don't have at least a twinge of an accent when compared to other locals like the hardware store guy (annoys me somewhat for inconsistency,especially cause even in frozen empire where there SHOULD be a noticeable difference in accents,they're isnt)

1. THE DIRT!!! The dirt in places like Oklahoma is usually bright red,not brown...this is due to large amounts of iron oxide in the soil (wich is good for farming) I've heard some dirt in the state is brown but most that I've seen is red (annoys me alot,I can understand why they didn't film in Oklahoma,but the dirt and mine being important to the story and them not being accurate bugs me)

(Now some nice things to clean the pallet)

Muncher is adorable,and I hope we see them again

I like Luckys name,it sounds cool and I hope we see more of the dynamic between characters like we did in Afterlife

I hope we see more of Ecto-1 (we saw it briefly in Frozen Empire but I'd like to see more of it)

I liked all the references,I like the little nods to other Ghostbusters stuff

I like that a pattern was established for Vinz Clortho,Zuul,and Gozer

And in Frozen Empire,I like that it's possibly implied Pheobe punched Peck aka dickless she really is Egons granddaughter

And in both Afterlife and Frozen Empire I like that Pheobe is skilled with a proton pack (especially since in GBII Egon says its not a toy,I think it's hilarious)

Also hope we see more of Trevor

(Hope this is enough of a distraction and isn't too long and annoying)

Does anything in the Ghostbusters franchise stand out to you? (Good or bad)

Thank you for this. Don’t worry it’s not to long

While yes a few things stand out, like how Phoebe trusted Melody a little to quickly, whereas Egon wouldn’t have (know they aren’t the same but still).

In general I just don’t like how Phoebe trusted Melody a little to quickly. It felt kinda rushed. Now don’t get me wrong, I know a movie couldn’t be that long for them to form a bond, and it had to be rushed because of the evil ice god and whatnot but yk.

I would have like to maybe see a little but more of Melody and Phoebe.

It may be this striking a cord within me, but the anger in Callie’s voice toward Phoebe without letting Phoebe actually explain or defend herself angered me so much

[elidokie]

i’m so scared that i’m faking being happy but at the same time i know i’m not because happiness is a choice (and also not a destination) and i choose it every day.

even though right now i have to urge to go, i know it’s all temporary. i keep imagining myself. when i die, all my stuff will go to Mar. even my 3DS, and even my copy of soul silver.

yikes. i hate feeling like this. i feel so icky and gross whenever i do. cmon eli! this isn’t you! you’re supposed to be happy and full of joy on the time! think of all the tender mercies! you fucked up bad yesterday, and God still let you get another chance! mom made breakfast! dad went out to buy us a drink at the new gas station they built down the road! and Mar is in the living room waiting for us to go outside and tell her about the new book we are reading!

cmon! think of how much you love being alive! because you do.

i have a hard time accepting the bad feelings as feelings of my own. my brain is so frustrating sometimes. it feels like it’s not mine.

i miss being little. i miss being 14. my parents were mean, and i didn’t have any friends, and i had the ugliest hair cut in the world — but i was 14 and i played my favorite video game for the first time, and all Mar n I had to worry about was our stupid Government class that we were taking for college credit.

Mom was really happy when we told her that we got accepted into the dual enrollment program, even though she didn’t understand that dual enrollment was for the students that were smart enough to be looked at as a waste. It’s a school in south Texas, with only 15% of the students actually going on to get a degree after graduation. Even if it was only for the numbers, it really did help out.

I didn’t think I was going to go to college. I get frustrated when people say that a Bachelors is the same as a HS Diploma. I didn’t decide I was going to college until my junior year. At most, I thought I was going to just finish off whatever I had left of classes at the community college I was already attending during high school. But then during the state exams, Mr Austin looked at Mr Sowell and went, “You are looking at the two brightest minds of the 21st century.” (referring to me and Mar), and even though it’s not true, because I’m just a 19 year old girl, it still gave me a sense of hope.

Mom never went to middle school (secondary school I guess) and has a 5th grade education. I do everything for her. We told her about World War 2. It’s crazy that she doesn’t know anything about it. Then we tried telling her about outer space, she doesn’t know much, but she knows about planets! we told her that there is a myriad of planets, and we told her what galaxies are, and how galaxies can collide, and how stars can die beneath their own weight.

i feel like that sometimes.

she says it’s too late for her, but i don’t think so. i’ve been trying to teach her english, but she doesn’t care to learn. she can order at the drive thru by herself and she can have a conversation with Bailey’s parents. that’s enough.

dad first told me he loved me during graduation. he hugged me too. i miss the feeling of dad being proud of me like that. i know moms always proud of me, but it’s in a different way.

i like seeing dads face light up. i hate the stigma that i have to take care of my parents once they get older, or that children of immigrants live for their parents, but it’s so true. dad always looked so happy after i performed.

when i passed my drivers test (after going to the DMV like 4 times) he hugged me and was like “i’m so proud of you!” and i think about that a lot. i told him how i was planning on going to UT (my literal dream school and i’m so glad to God that i even got accepted) for aerospace engineering. and he was so happy. then i ended up “following my dream” and going to liberal liberal arts school in Texas for fucking ENGLISH. and he still was so happy. i cried when they dropped me off at my dorm, and i still cry thinking about it.

andrew was so right when he said that moving away from your parents for college is some white people shit. i’m still grateful to the universe for the experience though.

when i came back home during the winter break, i think he could tell that my depression was coming back. maybe that’s why he was so supportive about me dropping out. i had 4 days left until i had to move back to Denton when i had decided to withdraw. fuck, i was so scared. i remember asking him over and over what he thought i should do, and he just went “whatever you want mija, it’s your life not mine” until i ended up actually withdrawing. i know that he knew i was scared.

the next day he took me to dallas to pick up my stuff. a 6 hour drive, 2 hours to pack, 6 hours back — and he didn’t complain. i was so miserable the whole spring, which sucks because it’s my favorite season.

we would take Mar to class 2x a week (Mar can’t drive, she’s too scared to, so dad would take her and i would tag along) and then sit in the Circle K parking lot for two hours until her Latin class was over (the drive to her uni was 45 minutes, so it made more sense to just wait there). He’d buy me an horchata and a hot dog, he was always like “these are good today!” and i would agree, i never told him that i don’t like hot dogs, but it’s okay because i think he was always trying to convince himself / trying to make me feel better about not being in school.

sometimes we would go to Taco Bell, or to Costco. it was always the same thing. me being miserable about having to be at a uni i don’t attend, and him trying to make me feel better without knowing how. i’m grateful though.

i told them i was going back to school in fall. they never asked me about it. that’s the only thing i’m jealous of white people for, that their parents know how to do all the college stuff. they wouldn’t check up on if i was caught up in the paperwork, or if i had talked to the school, or if i did my financial aid — they just assumed that i would do it on my own. and i did do it on my own, because i knew that they wouldn’t know how to help me.

i pushed myself.

after finally doing all the stuff for the school here, and finally setting up my classes and everything (thank god), i told dad how i was thinking of switching my major. i told him i was gonna switch to architecture. his only response was “that sounds like a reliable degree!”

i always switched up what i wanted because i want multiple things. but the one thing that i know for a fact i want, is to write. so he was still as happy when i told him that i was going to keep doing english, but i’m dropping the education courses. im switching to creative writing.

then we talked about grad school for a bit and i told him that i was planning on going to Utah or Minnesota near Juni. i think he’s more supportive of Utah, just because it’s closer to Cali. Mar is going to Cali for law, she takes all her law exam shits later this school year, and then is probably going to talk to grandma about moving in to the little studio in the back. grandma is obviously going to say yes.

dad also didn’t care that i stopped working. i mean, i know a part of did, but he never said anything. i like to think that i did a good job hiding how i was doing mentally, but every week dad would ask if i wanted to get a slushee from Sonic, which i know is his way of trying to make me feel better.

i stopped with the TEFL program i was doing. i know i’ll pick it up sometime later. right now i have to worry about getting an internship, grad school, applying for the study abroad program, and this upcoming semester. the fact that i’m graduating next winter feels like a sin. i just started college. maybe i should be more appreciative of the fact that i’m finishing early early.

also getting a job. but i have confidence that God has something better for me planned. i have enough money to pay for my car bill next month, and just barely enough for the one after that (i might have to ask dad to help a bit). the only reason i feel bad leaving the school in dallas, is because i was on a full scholarship. i think my parents paid like $1000 the whole semester and that was for the room i was staying in.

i don’t expect mom and dad to pay for this semester, especially since it was my choice to move back home. so i know i have to pay for it on my own. i’m okay with working 24/7 if it means they don’t have to worry about it. but, i know how dad is. he’d go into debt if it means i get to go to college.

Mar and i are on our own for grad school though, they made that VERY clear LMAO. i might check out that women’s only university that Ms. Burger told me about. she got her M.F.A there and said she loved it. she was a crazy woman, talking about how she lived in London, how she’s okay with being 57 and single because she has her dog, how she wrote her thesis on Little Women.

anyways, i feel like i’ve written enough. even though nobody reads this. it’s like i’m bothering my future self for whenever i do reread this. i talk a lot. i only really took notice of it because of how often i keep YAPPING to 26y/o. he said he doesn’t mind, but i’m scared that he does. because why would he want to hear some stupid 19 year old vent about stupid shit. either way i’m appreciative of it.

yesterday we played fortnite. he’s really good lmao. we won most of our games! it was really funny. the dynamic of our relationship is really funny. there’s like a 7 year (about to be 6!!) age gap between us which for the most part doesn’t really matter. but he’s experienced so many more things than me, and it’s very obvious at times. like when i talk about uni and my future, and then i realize that this mf already has his shit figured out. like, he’s GROWN. it’s really funny though. i made this grown man play fortnite with me. and it was fun!

ugh, i said i was gonna stop this text post but i always have to much to say. i miss juni. so so so very much. he’s literally my soul partner. i dream that im at his house sometimes. in the living room, i’m laying sideways on the couch and he’s laying on the recliner. his parents in the kitchen making dinner. his younger sister in her room playing roblox. i always feel at home when i’m there, as strange as it sounds. i’m eternally grateful that his family accepted me so easily. and that his mom loves me. it’s july there too.

i miss mn. i’m not going to be going there anytime soon, because juni is coming here in september. so i probably wont be there until december. which sucks because it means that i’m going to have to get a new job. since i’m taking 2 weeks to go to mexico, 1 for mn, and then 1 to go to georgia to visit Cav. so that’s like, the whole month! i’ll stress about it later.

none of these things are permanent so why stress? im just 19 (ugh i’m gonna keep saying this even after im 20.).

20 is so close and its scary. i feel like a baby. my dad still has to drive me around the city, and mom still eats dinner with me.

i think mom knows that my eating is getting worse again. she’s not very (i forgot the word but it has the same meaning as “slick with it”), as she’s always calls me during her lunch break to go “oh what did you eat for breakfast?”

that’s the only reason i have lunch with her sometimes. to ease her worries i guess. juni is more normal about it, he ask “did you eat?” like once every few days. i’m glad he’s like that but it also upsets me. i don’t think he understands my mental health issues, or my issues in general. he told me he didn’t care to learn about it because i’m a human and not an animal. which i understand. but also like, this is a part of me that isn’t going away.

i feel like we are at two different places sometimes. which is crazy because of how close we are, literal soul ties. i’ve known him all my life.

anyways. i think i’ll end this here. i’m sorry if there are any typos or inconsistencies in my writing here. i use this as a diary, i guess. i graduated with a 4.3 and got so many scholarships to write (because woo! there’s a lack of representation when it comes to latin authors getting published in the US! especially women!) so how jarring would it be for me to say that i never paid attention during english class. i don’t know what a preposition is, i don’t know how to properly structure sentences sometimes, but that’s okay!

i lied again. i did pay attention to english class. i just forgot almost everything i learned.

i’m getting hungry. i think i’m gonna get boba later. anyways. goodbye, i love you.

[terrortriplets]

Hi, Doly! My apologies for missing the last two days, thank you for waiting and always being kind when I’m late/miss a day. I appreciate it. How have the past few days been for you? I hope they’ve been well!

How exciting to be into the same games! Love that for us as well! I actually played god of war! It was like five or six years ago now but I was obsessed and then I got to the final boss, the big bad, and I just couldn’t fucking beat it!!! It’s been so long now that I dont even know if I ended up beating it! Those are all great games as well, I’ve watched people play just about all of them and I feel the same about the patience of learning the game! I remember one of the first games I ever played was Fable for the original Xbox, my dad and brothers would play it and I just liked it cause it had choices you could pick to make you good or bad and it was just kinda silly but also good. It’s been a very long time since I’ve played it though.

The weather has dropped since the last ask I sent which is nice but it’s just a mess of going up and down! It was humid/muggy and rained today and was in the 70sF and yet somehow the predicted low of the week is 41F so we’ll see!! I live in the south so it’s always higher in temp! Oh that sounds so fun! I hope you have such a great time in Puerto Rico for the holidays! I dont celebrate religiously either, I just like the holiday for time with people in my life!

I cant believe today was fine lines third birthday, oh, my heart!!! What a fabulous album, it means so much to me. It was such a special album and I loved seeing Harry’s post about it. The Louis content has been great too with the signings and concerts! I hope he’s doing well with his arm.

That’s a good answer, I definitely want to have my own space when I have a house like I don’t want to share a fence with my neighbors and etc. I’ve never had that kind of Chex mix so I’ll definitely have to check them out next time I’m wandering the gas station for a snack! And sour cream chips are always a classic. I love YouTube essays and stuff like them, I have like a whole playlist of random videos I think would interest me that I watch when I remember I have it. It ranges from cooking, miniature building, ocean facts, how lava lamps are made/tech stuff from the past and just anything like that. I absolutely fell down a hole earlier this year and just binged Vsauce videos because they are so interesting! His “Did people used to look older video” was fantastic! And his series he used to do on his YouTube was so interesting! I recommend the one about the power of suggestion!

Speed round!! What are your favorite lyrics of FITF? I have so many!!!! I really love “Through my cigarette, a shadow of you sticks me to the carpet, try to ignore it.” And honestly all of Saturdays!!! I’m only gonna put that one since it’s the first that came to mind!

Since its fine lines birthday: which single from the album, as of right now in this moment, is your favorite? Watermelon Sugar, Adore You or Falling? I think mine would have to be adore you! It just makes me so happy and makes me want to dance so much!

Do you enjoy museums? Any kind! Science, art, history etc!! I always love a good museum day, especially science I think or contemporary art/art ones!

Do you enjoy the experience of going to a movie theater? I tend to like it as long as me and my friends are the only people in the theater usually! Which is easy to have happen if you go to a movie at a weird time!

Do you have a lot of things on your keychain, if you have one? I used to have way more things on mine but right now I just have like three keychains on one ring to be one and I just love having little guys/weird things everywhere, which I’ve made obvious in my past asks so of course my keychain is the same! I’m always on the hunt online/in thrift stores/garage sales for weird keychains

Alrighty I think I’m gonna cut it there! I hope you’ve had a wonderful few days and I’m sending love and good vibes your way!! I’ll talk to ya soon!!

-🎉❄️

Hii, honey!! Don’t worry about it!! I figured life got in the way!! Sending you all the love and good vibes as well!! 💕✨

I’m doing okay, for the most part!! Just getting the last minute details for my trip later this week!! It’s the calm before the storm that is going to the airport 🫠. I just wanna land on the island already.

Once we’re off anon, if you’re up for it, we should def. link up for some games!! That’d be so cool!! My brother was the same way; he kept getting sidetracked and took forever to get to the final boss only for him not to be able to beat it either, from the last time I had spoken with him about it. Ooooo, fable! I’d have to look into that!! One of the earliest memories I have of playing video games was when I got my first game boy color! I had so many games raging from Kim Possible to That’s So Raven to Power Rangers!! It’s always the knock-off games that come from the larger franchises that are just 😙👌 Lol.

Man, I wish our low of the week was around 40°F!! The lowest the temps. are getting this week are 20°F 🥶. Honestly, as long as it doesn’t snow, I’m fine with the cold!! The tediousness of having to shovel the snow off the main sidewalks/parking spots on the road become so tiresome. That, and my car doesn’t do well on icy roads so :/

The happiest of birthdays to fine line indeed 🥳💙💕. That album has such a special place in my heart!! I hope so too!! Are you seeing Louis next year, by chance? I can’t wait to see him in philly!!

My one friend from high school was very much into VSauce!! I’d have to give them another go! Speaking of recommendations, I passed by target earlier this week and got a copy of Project Hail Mary to take with me on the plane!! Once I get pretty far in it, I’ll def. give you my thoughts on what’s happening thus far!!

Speed Round Answers!!! Fav. Lyrics off of FITF? My fav. Song is Chicago, but the lyrics to All This Time really speak to me in a whole different way!! It’s straight poetry!! Everyone’s probably said it already but the lyrics “the friends we make, the love it takes, it’s worth the pain (worth it all this time)”. It’s all just *chief’s kiss* (I agree with you about Saturdays tho!! It’s the one song that took a little longer for me to get into, but it’s so great!!). Fav. Single off of Fine Line? I have to agree. Adore You is very good!! It’s probably my fav. Music video as well!! If “She” were a single, I’d say her lol!! It should have been a single, in my opinion!! It would have went so hard!! Opinions on Museums? I enjoy a good museum. My fav. Types are the ones that deal with sculptures/installations!! During my junior year of college, my 3D art professor took our class to a sculpture park as well as an indoor installation where the artist used neon lights as one of its main elements!! Here’s a picture of what I mean!! I can’t really explain it very well lol.

I’m all in for interactive museums!! Keychain accessories? As of right now, my keychain consists of a bunch of random house keys, car keys, and a keychain from Puerto Rico that I got last year of a frog resting on a tree trunk. It’s very basic in comparison to what I usually have.

I have a questions for you!! When was the last time you laughed so hard, you almost cried?! 🎄✨

[bubblegumfrosting]

Like A Sister

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Type: angst than fluff

Summary: Y/n has liked Sam for awhile but due to their age gap Sam only sees Y/n as a younger sister. One thing leads to another and results in Y/n making a tearful confession.

Warnings: Age gap (3 years), mentions of injuries, cursing, and Dean’s shenanigans

A/n: hi! this is the first fan fiction i’ve written in a long time! i hope you enjoy it and if you have any tips for writing please feel free to dm <33

POV: First Person

I met Sam Winchester my freshman year of college. Since childhood I never had any “real” friends. No matter how extroverted or kind I was to people they always found me annoying. I wasn’t expecting much going into college, I was use to being alone.

So like any outcast I found myself sitting alone at my first “real party”, that is until Sam’s girlfriend at that time Jessica waved me over. I was shocked to meet someone as kind as Jess, she welcomed me to Stanford with open arms. When she introduced me to Sam there was an instant connection. The three of us spent the whole night joking and getting tipsy (ignore my underage shenanigans).

I learned they were going into their senior year and Sam was planning on becoming a lawyer. Personally I never knew what I wanted to do in life, so my major was well undecided. After the party I stayed in touch with Jess and Sam. My college experience was honestly pretty good, everything seemed to be going well for me for once in my life.

In the middle of the school year Sam needed to go on a “hunting trip”. Because of his absence I got to sleep over at their dorm, which was much nicer than mine.

The night Sam returned I was far too tired to go back to my room so I just stayed over. That’s the night it happened, when my world changed. My best friend was on the ceiling in flames, I had to be dragged out by Sam’s older brother Dean because I refused to leave her. Sam mentioned going on a road trip after the accident and I told him I wanted to go. There was no longer anything left for me there at college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and how could someone go back into society after witnessing something so terrifying. It took a lot of convincing Sam and than Sam convincing Dean to let me come with them but eventually I got my way.

That year I learned the truth, the truth about what’s in the dark. I became a hunter, and a pretty good one might I add. Due to my age the brothers baby me all the time, I’ve never minded it, that is until Sam said I was like their little sister. Hearing him say that made my heart ache. I’ve liked Sam for a awhile, I never mentioned it because he was in a relationship and then well grieving the loss of that relationship. There was never a right time to “confess my feelings”. So here I am hopelessly devoted to someone who sees me as a child and also here I am using myself as bait to catch a blood thirsty vampire.

“Come on! I’m over here, I know you want a bite outta this!”, I yelled out into the empty ware house.

POV: 3rd Person

Sam was very much against the idea of using you as bait but since this vampire only went after girls he really didn’t have a choice did he?

“Dean, shouldn’t we be closer, you know if something goes wrong?”, Sam spoke while him and Dean hid behind a pillar machetes in hand.

“Dude calm your panties, your little girlfriend is going to be fine”, the eldest said smugly.

“Ew! Dean don’t say stuff like that, she’s like …like..my little sister!”, Sam scoffed.

“If you look at your siblings the way you look at her than I don’t think I’m comfortable being your brother Sammy.”, Dean pats his younger brothers back.

“Whatever, let’s focus okay.”, Sam ended the conversation and the two waited.

Sam couldn’t explain what he was feeling, he was confused by what Dean said but than again he knew his brother was right. Sam has always cared for you but these past few months his feelings grew. He found himself staring at you when you weren’t looking and constantly worrying about whether you were safe or not.

“God! Are you ever gonna come out or what you bitch!”, you screamed getting a little antsy.

Suddenly a man popped out from the dark and swiftly knocked you to the ground. You felt your head hit the cement and blood trickled down your face, “Who are you calling a bitch..bitch?”. The man revealed his razor sharp teeth and lunged on top of you.

“God, when was the last time you seen a dentist?”, you yelled.

“Dean now!”, Sam exclaimed and the two brothers sprinted towards the action. In an instant the once “alive” vampire was laying on top of you headless.

“I’m going to puke”, you pushed the body off yours and Sam helped you off the ground.

Sam had a worried expression on his face, “Hey hey hey, are you okay, does anything hurt? Did you hit your head? How many fingers am I holding up?“, he held up three fingers.

“Ten”, you said jokingly, “I’m okay Sam I promise, I definitely thought I was a goner though”.

“We thought about leaving you but Sam decided against it.”, Dean said wrapping an arm around your shoulders and the three of you walked out of the ware house.

When you arrived at the motel Sam insisted to check the cut on your head while Dean went out to get a beer.

“This needs stitches Y/n.”, he sighed and got out the first aid kit. “Sit on the bed.”.

“No please! I’m fine! I promise, I don’t need stitches”, you look into his eyes and pout. Sam turned his head away to hide the fact he was blushing.

“Sit, now.”, he said sternly and you did as you were told. He sat beside you and grabbed the belt laying on the bedside table. “It will be over in an instant, here bite down on this.”. You bit down and closed your eyes. The only thing you could taste was leather mixed with tears.

After what seemed to be a life time, the stitch work was done. Sam gently took the belt from your mouth and you opened your eyes. You wiped the tears from your face looked down, “No wonder you see me as a baby, I cry over a little cut.”.

“Who ever said I see you as a baby”, Sam questioned and you looked back up.

“You did genius, you said I was “like your little sister”.”, you got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, Sam follows close behind.

“Well I guess it’s just because your so much younger than me and-“, Sam started.

You turned to face him, “Thanks for reminding me, it’s not like I think about it everyday! Think about how maybe if I was older-.”, you paused, “Never mind, sorry forget I said anything.”, you brush past him but he grabs your wrist and you turn back towards him.

“Maybe if you were older what?”, he asked as his eyes melted you under their gaze.

“Are you really going to make me do this?”, he looked at you with a pleading face. “Fine, I..I like you. Fuck! I don’t just like you Sam I love you.”, your eyes go blurry due to tears forming and you can’t even see what Sam’s expression was so you just kept talking. “I’ve always loved you and everyday I’m reminded that you could never feel the same way because I’m some stupid kid, some burden you have to worry about-“. Before you could finish Sam stepped towards you with urgency and cupped your face pulling you in to meet his lips with yours . After a couple seconds you both pulled away and he wiped your tears with his thumb.

“Never call yourself a burden Y/n, you are the most kindest, loving person I know and I’m sorry I didn’t know this sooner but I love you, I truly love you.”, you looked into his eyes and smiled as you pulled him in for another kiss.

“Finally god damn!”, Dean sat on the motel bed kicking off his shoes. Sam and you turned in shock to see him sitting there. “I’m so happy I won’t have to deal with the both of you eye fucking each other anymore.”.

“How long have you been here?!”, you exclaimed.

“I don’t know, like the whole time.”, Dean cheekily smiled and turned on the tv.

You looked back at Sam and smiled, “I never thought you’d feel the same way.”.

Sam brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, “Well I never thought Dean would be right about something but here we are.”, he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Ay! I’m still here, stop the smooching!”, Dean said dramatically.

The three of you laughed, and everything was perfect.

[f10werfae]

Hey lovey, i hope your well<3

Could you do a chris x shy! Reader who is like a little sister to him and they are at comic con for promoting ca;cw and the shy! is out of her depth and she basically panics because she’s insecure about what people have been saying about her body and stuff in general, so she shuts down, chris has seen this before so he has his ways of preventing her spiralling more so she goes back stage with him to go calm down with him and dodger ( because let’s be honest dodger would go everywhere with Chris if he could) and it’s just fluff 💖

This is totally cool if you don’t want to do this 💖

HEADCANON TIME!!

(Chris evans X Sister-like!Reader)

Chris Evans Masterlist✨^^

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

• Ever since you and Chris started working together on the set of infinity war, he had immediately taken you under his wing, giving you tips as to how to make life easier while living in a trailer. Something you were extremely grateful for as you are quite an introverted person towards people you don’t know and this is your first proper time being away from home

• Today I was on a panel for Captain America: Civil war, and to say I was nervous was a complete understatement. Thank God I was sat beside Chris during the panel, something I knew he had set up specifically knowing he was the cast member I was closest with (he was basically my older brother on set)

•Watching onto the panel, I heard cheers and felt so many eyes on me at once. Focusing my eyes on my chair I sat down, feeling Chris’ hand rub my back softly whispering an "are you alright?” in my ear before facing the front after seeing me nod

• All the cast members had gotten such inquisitive and complex questions about their characters. My excitement growing as my nerves slowly went away, I so wanted to hear the questions I was going to get. Scarjo the woman I looked up to on set had just answered a question about Black Widow's character development

• The same reporter then turned to me, “So Y/n, you've just turned 18 and you have landed this world leading role. Are you worried about how your body is going to change and how it’ll affect the character? Seeing as how one of the focuses of your character, regardless of the intention, is her body. Some sources say you’ve gained weight, lost weight and have even gotten surgery. Personally I myself do have some of these speculations. What is the truth?”

• “I-I uh” Embarrassment flushed my cheeks at his question, this is not what I was expecting at all, especially for my first comic con question and answer

• “That’s extremely inappropriate, you can’t ask a person that, never mind a developing young person. Shame on you” Chris answered bluntly, instantly e his mic onto the table, a loud echoing thud filling the room as everything went radio silent

•The rest of the conference went on as somewhat normal, the following questions asked to me were definitely more appropriate, I guess no one else wanted to feel Chris' wrath.

•After the con, I went back to my dressing room, the emotions I had kept in on stage slowly starting to fight their way out. My throat felt closed up, my eyes starting to fill with tears as my vision blurred.

• “Come on Y/n get yourself together” I told myself looking up to the ceiling, suddenly feeling a heavy weight bump onto my legs and jump onto me.

• “Aww Dodger buddy you’re here” I smiled bending down to let him climb all over me, licks to my face every second before Chris pulled him off with a wide smile on his face until his face fell when he saw mine,

• “You alright bugger?” He said also sitting onto the floor with us, his nickname for me still staying strong, something he thought off when the first time I talked to him I had asked him if he could kill a spider in my room for me. His first reaction being the same as mine, turns out we both hate spiders and we had to get Mackie to help me out

• “Jus didn’t like what he was sayin ya know? It hurt my feelings”

• “Of course it did, it was completely out of line and untrue. You are an amazing young lady, with so much potential and so much to give the world. Don’t let a few creep's words determine your worth or how you view yourself. You know if your parents were with us right now they’d be saying the same. Plus just know if we weren’t working, i'd have so given him a bit more than a talking to”

• “Thanks Chris, you’re the best brother from another mother” I said wiping my tears, his arms bringing me in for one of his famous bone crushing hugs, Dodger joining us of course

———

Taglist Tags( Form is here) : @seren-a-ity @patzammit @thereisa8ella @pandaxnienke @evanstanwhore @mrspeacem1nusone @itsaylayay1213

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