#i hope nothing gets found out that i dont like. i really dont wanna hear it.

[barleyo]

If ur in twd fandom I would loveee a Daryl dixon age gap fic!! Just him being disgusting over taking her first time? Just a major power imbalance between them. Dont do this if ur uncomfy ofc!! Stay safe bookie <33

Men Who Are Older.

Daryl Dixon X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: cried happy tears at this request, i LOVE daryl, he's so yummy. dirty old men foreverrrrr!!! i haven't seen all of twd and it's been a while since i've watched it, so this could be super ooc for all i know!! sorry it's short, i wanted to get all my ideas down quickly :3

Tags: LARGE age gap (18-19 and late 40-ish), power imbalance, coercion, p in v, loss of virginity, allusion to anal, creepy old man behavior (ugh i luv it)

Wordcount: 1.2k

You found yourself often visiting Daryl in his tent later in the night when you couldn't sleep. He tried to act like it annoyed him, like your presence was a nuisance to him, but it wasn't. You weren't the most irritating person he had to deal with day-to-day. You were polite enough for your age, you didn't mess around and snoop through his shit. You didn't judge him.

Most importantly, though, you were attractive. There wasn't much hot, young tail to chase around the camp. He liked to think you were his reward for living through hell every day. Nothing like eye candy at the end of the night to ease a hardened man's stress.

It was like most nights when you entered his tent, not bothering to announce yourself. Daryl looked up from the pocket knife he had been mindlessly flicking to eye you down. 

"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" 

"Yeah, right," you said, taking a casual seat on his bedroll. "What're you doing?"

He clicked his tongue at you on his bed, but sighed and ignored it. "Nothing. Too damn late to do anythin' important."

"Want to chit-chat, then?" You rested your hands on your knees, hoping he would soothe your boredom.

"Do I wanna 'chit-chat'?" Daryl flicked his knife closed and tucked it in his back pocket. "If you wanna chat, why don't you go do it with someone else? You don't have friends your age?" 

"I used to." He didn't say anything, just flattened his mouth at your rebuttal. "We're friends though, aren't we?"

Crossing his arms, he let out a hum. "Whatever you want, kid. Sure. We're real pals."

You spoke about whatever came to your mind for the next however-many minutes with him. Mostly just you babbling on, but it didn't bother him. You could run off at your mouth all you wanted, gave him all the excuse to stare you down and look a little too closely at places he knew he shouldn't.

Eventually, you got on the topic of things you missed about life before. Things you wished you got to experience, things you were slowly starting to forget about.

"I didn't even get to properly lose my virginity before this shit took over," you complained, now laying on Daryl's bed like it was your own. "It really bites, man." 

His eyes widened a bit, arms falling to his legs from their crossed position. 

"Wait, what'd y'say?" 

"Huh? Oh, I didn't get to have sex with anyone before the outbreak," you repeated, not caring to turn to face him while you spoke. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'll die before I get any." 

So many things rushed through Daryl's head at that moment. A virgin? You? It wasn't exactly surprising, you weren't old enough for it to be a shocking thing to hear, but the thought really intrigued him. Made him wonder.

It gave him an idea, and lord knows dirty, old men have even dirtier ideas stewing in their minds.

"That bother you?" 

You finally turned your head over to look at him, eyes looking conflicted.

"I guess, a little. There are bigger things to worry about, but I feel like I'm missing out," you said while trying your best to sound nonchalant. "It's not much of a priority, under the circumstances, you know."

Oh, how wrong you were. It very much was a priority, an urgent one at that. 

"Never know. Could happen, if y'really wanted. Don't rule it out completely," he advised, wiping his face with the back of his palm. "Maybe some younger man might find his way here. Could be an opportunity." 

"Nah, I couldn't go for that. I don't wanna be inexperienced and have to deal with an equally inexperienced guy too. That'd be like hell," you joked.

"Sounds like you want an older man, then."

He called on every guardian angel he had in that moment, praying for you to take the bait. Just one chance, damn it, he wasn't asking for much.

"Yeah, guess so." You made eye contact with him for a brief second, before flitting your eyes around in embarrassment. "Listen, it's getting late, I should go." You pushed yourself up, ready to head back to your family.

Daryl stood from his seat and grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him.

"I don't mind," he said, dancing around the answer to the question you didn't yet ask. "I know my fair share."

"Those don't sound like sounds a virgin'd make," he teased. He loved how you sounded. Straight from a porno, just shameless cries and squeals. "You sure you ain't did this before?"

He watched the back of your head shake 'no' while his hand guided along the arch in your spine. Took you a while to learn to keep your head down and ass up, but damn it if you didn't put the knowledge to work quickly.

"Am I supposed to be dizzy?" you asked, voice muffled by the blankets under you.

Daryl chuckled softly, slamming your hips back on him. "Yeah, if the guy's doin' it right. Feel good?"

Your hands clenched the fabric you were laying on, digging into it roughly.

"I think? I—I dunno, 's just so much."

Being the man he was, Daryl took that as a challenge. He flipped you over on your back, cock still rocking into you. He sped up, letting his movements get sharper. 

"C'mon," he muttered gruffly, trying to urge you to place your legs on his shoulders, "you gonna be this much of a problem for the next guy?"

You gave your weak legs a kick, wrapping them around his neck so the shaking wouldn't roll them off his shoulders. 

"No, no," you whined, groping your tits to keep your hands busy, "don't want another guy. He won't be as good as you, Dar." 

How the hell could a few little words get him ramped up even more? He knew you probably didn't mean it, horny girls said whatever their pussies wanted them to say, but the way he fucked you made you believe your own words.

"Yeah? I ruined ya for other guys already?" 

The stark difference between his now softer tone and rougher thrusts confused your brain in the best ways possible. You couldn't focus on just one aspect of him: Daryl was everywhere. In your brain, in your heart, in the very blood flowing through your veins— and, of course, inside of you. 

It was too much, all of it. 

Your walls clamped tightly over him, sucking him in like a vacuum. The clenching of your walls over his dick sent him over the edge, barely leaving him enough time to pull out. He bit the back of his hand, stifling a moan while he jerked himself the rest of the way off, coating your tired pussy with his cum. 

"You didn't cum inside, did you?" You sat up quickly, scooting back a bit. 

Daryl let out a huff. "I'm not an amateur, I know how to pull out."

"Just checking," you mumbled, lying back down on his bedroll, head nuzzling into the pillow.

You felt his dick push up against your ass, prodding between your cheeks.

"I could show you a way that'll make sure no idiot douchebags get ya knocked up," he offered, head desperately tapping against your asshole, "if you want."

A soft sigh came from your chest as you pushed your ass back on him.

"You're an eager teacher, y'know."

[peterparkersnose]

Lovers and Love.

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: pregnancy (if you don't like don't read), descriptions of morning sickness, anxiety, angst, illusions to sex

a/n back to your regularly scheduled program i dont wanna hear it i don’t write pregnancy stories often (i say this with a modern day au pregnancy joel fic in my drafts). literally my third in a year (back during my wattpad days I would solely write pregnancy stories. ew). i really like how this turned out though, the length is good

summary Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out

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read time: 8 mins 47 seconds

“What’s filling that pretty head of yours lately?” Joel asked between each chop of the wood.

“Oh, nothing.” you lied.

“You looked mighty focused on that rock just a minute ago.”

“Better than looking at you chopping wood,” you scoffed sarcastically, getting Joel’s scent off your trail.

What you were really thinking about? The last time you got your period.

Each swing of the axe made you cringe. You begged to think of something different, but the thought had filled your mind for the past few days when your expected period didn’t arrive.

You and Ellie had swept out an old convenience store about a month ago. Ellie found some period products and gave some to you and it made you think.

When was the last time you got your period?

Ever since you were a child you dreamed of being a mother. Raising a family with someone you loved. But when the world fell to cordyceps, that idea was quickly left in the past with every other hope and dream you ever had.

This was no environment for an adult, let alone a child. A baby was an absolute no. The constant crying would attract any creature in a mile radius. It wouldn’t get the proper nutrition babies needed to grow. And giving birth in this world was a borderline death sentence.

And your baby’s daddy? The man you had been hooking up with on the low.

He was meant to move the cargo. You assisted the cargo and made sure it behaved.

It wasn’t your fault when Ellie was captured by David and you and Joel had to hide out in a shed one night alone.

Or maybe that time Ellie went out hunting.

Or the time Joel had to cover your mouth and tell you to shut up because she was asleep in the next room.

You knew Ellie wasn’t a dumb kid, but you were just praying she wasn’t that smart.

But pregnancy tests were nonexistent. Most of them you assumed would be expired. Can pregnancy tests even expire? And condoms, come on. It would honestly be funny if Joel pulled one out as a joke. There was no way any of those were still in use at least five years after the breakout.

“Y/N!” Joel yelled, catching your attention. The volume of his voice caught you off guard. “What’s wrong with you, seriously?” he scoffed, flipping his axe in his hand.

Brushing him off, you helped him carry wood into the small abandoned cabin you had found for the night.

Ellie was sitting on the matted couch with her leg resting on top of the coffee table in what was left of the living room. If you squinted, it looked almost normal. No clickers, no cannibals, just a normal world, a normal Ellie sitting in a normal house.

You needed to quickly get the idea of a normal world out of your head. It wasn’t here anymore. You couldn’t hope and dream like you used to. It wasn’t the time for fantasy land anymore. This was serious shit.

“Thank god, I am fucking freezing!” Ellie announced, rubbing her hands together.

Joel dropped his few planks of wood on the ground. “I’m gonna go look for some blankets and supplies upstairs. Ellie, help Y/N with the fire.”

Ellie groaned and slammed her feet on the floor one by one from the coffee table dramatically. You could already imagine the eye roll she had just given him.

You began arranging the logs into a nice stack. Joel had cut enough to easily last you through the night and maybe into the morning.

“You doin’ okay?” Ellie asked, searching through her backpack for the matches. “Mhm,” you lied, watching her scratch the match and throw it in the dry fireplace.

“Joel said something about-” “It doesn’t matter what Joel said.” you cut her off. Ellie rested back on her legs. She was very obviously disappointed you wouldn’t tell her what was wrong.

Was it really that obvious?

“What did I say now?” Joel asked from the banister. He was carrying blankets in his hands he found in the bedrooms. He had a big smile plastered on his face that only widened when your eyes met his.

Just imagine how he would be. Carrying down blankets for you and your child to make a fort together. Making popcorn and watching a movie as the sky became dark. The child would fall asleep in your arms and the two of you would stare at each other and appreciate the world, the life you made together.

You broke eye contact with him and shook your head.

How could you let yourself think like that?

“That I was the best clicker killer in the group.” Ellie made up, lightening the mood. “Oh really now?” Joel chuckled, throwing all of the sheets down on Ellie.

“Oh thank god, warmth.” she sighed, wrapping herself in as many blankets as she could hold.

You snatched a blanket from Ellie with a smirk and moved in front of the fire. You saw the sun setting from one of the still intact windows. Joel made the bold move of laying directly next to you. Normally you would have been so touched by this little bit of public affection (even though the definition of public, for now, was just Ellie), but you were so exhausted by your mind games from the day that you couldn’t care less.

Ellie curled up next to you. She moved into your chest, wrapping her arms around one of yours. Poor Joel, Ellie got all your affection tonight after all.

After a few minutes, she was asleep.

“You wanna meet upstairs in a bit? Tell her your takin’ a piss or something.” Joel whispered in your ear. His wide hand touched your back, making you tense. He was craving your touch you could tell. It had been a few weeks since your last hookup. “No. Not tonight,” you whispered back, pulling Ellie closer.

“Hey,” he said in a low tone. You turned your head to look at him. “What’s really goin’ on?”

“Nothing,” you lied. “I know when your lying.” he sighed. “Joel, drop it.” you hissed.

Ellie’s head looked up at yours. You felt the movement and immediately reacted.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. Go back to sleep now,” you said sweetly to her, brushing her hair to the side of her face. You could tell Joel noticed how you called her baby girl. That’s what he called her.

“What’s happening?” she asked groggily. “Nothing important. Now back to sleep. We need our energy for tomorrow.” You gave her a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.

Ellie nodded and resumed back to her sleeping spot in your arms.

Joel now sat against the couch, watching the two of you interact.

After a moment of silence to make sure Ellie was asleep again, he spoke.

“You would make a great mother one day.”

Your head whipped around and the look on your face said it all.

“With Ellie ‘n stuff. Sorry,” Joel muttered, rubbing his hands down the front of his jeans nervously. The man never usually let his guard down and say vulnerable things like that and you could tell he was disappointed by your reaction.

“Good night Joel,” you said sincerely. He was right. Ellie was like a little sister to you.

On the brink of sleep, you heard him throw another log on the fire. Blankets shuffled and there was a defining silence. Then the thought hit you.

There was no way he knew, right?

-

The faces matched so perfectly but yet were so different. Joel stood in a kitchen, the kitchen in the house you grew up in. You followed the scent of some sort of food and wandered into the kitchen. Your balance seemed off to you. Looking down, you were met by a large bump. No toes could be seen.

“Mama!” you heard. Your head whipped around to the kitchen table. It was the same oak as you remembered it. A baby sat in a high chair. It had curly (your color hair) and Joel’s eyes. It scared you how fast you recognized his features. Unremarkably, they were copied onto the baby's face. “Come on now, eat your breakfast,” Ellie said, encouraging the child. She appeared next to them with a spoon in her hand, making airplane noises as the child laughed.

“Ellie! Did you finish your homework?” Joel asked her. The oh-so-familiar groan escaped from her lips.

“Yes… maybe…” she began to say as the dream began to fade.

You shot upright, breathing heavily. Then the feeling arose from your stomach.

“Y/N?” Joel asked, shielding his face from the sun rays displaying over his eyes. He watched you run to the kitchen that was left of the living room.

The kitchen sink was the victim of your vomit.

Joel quickly stood up and went to your side. His hand returned to its spot from the previous night.

“It’s okay,” he said. You could tell he was trying to calm you, but it also sounded like he was trying to calm himself.

Tears began to roll down your cheeks as the vomiting came to an end.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, wiping your mouth on your sleeve. “No, no. Stop, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Joel… please,” you stuttered. You embraced him. His surprisingly warm figure held yours tightly. “It’s okay,” he said again.

“You want to try to go back to sleep?” he asked you. Hesitantly, you shook your head yes.

Thank god Ellie was a deep sleeper when she had been asleep for a while. You could just imagine her putting the puzzle pieces together and announcing it without a second thought. She is a smart girl.

Joel held you on the wood floor. The two of you didn’t care if Ellie woke up to find your embrace. Sleep didn’t return to you, but a sense of peace did. You forgot about the world, the pregnancy, the cold, and the anger for just a moment. It was just you and Joel. The way it should be.

-

“Good morning Mom and Dad,” Ellie said, poking her foot into your shoulder.

Your eyes fluttered open from their relaxed state. “Go find some breakfast and shut it.” you hissed at her. Joel adjusted his hold on you, sighing in your ear.

“Some kid, huh?” he whispered.

“Tell me about-”

“Eugh! What the hell happened here?” Ellie yelled from the kitchen.

“I got food poisoning. Leave it,” you yelled to the kitchen, coming up with your best lie.

“Before we leave you should look upstairs. I thought I saw some clothes you might like. Warmer for the winter too,” Joel grunted, sitting up straight and stretching his arms behind his back.

Using the coffee table to help you up, you trotted across the cold floor and made your way upstairs.

The first bedroom was empty. The second had a few long sleeve tee shirts and a pair of jeans that would fit you. At least for now. You picked up a sweatshirt for Ellie and a book she might like.

The third bedroom seemed to be a children’s room. You were going to look for something smaller for Ellie, but when you opened the first drawer you were met with rows of baby clothes.

Your hands ran over the patterns on the onesies. A baby girl had lived here. Your heart ached as you tried not to think about what her fate had possibly been.

You opened another drawer and it was filled with baby shoes. The memories of swooning over the baby shoes at the store when you were younger filled your mind. The memory of little Y/N mentally picking out which shoes her baby would wear one day warmed your heart.

Opening the top drawer again, you looked through the clothes. You let yourself choose four, one for each season. Easy enough to keep hidden in your backpack. You were too busy looking at the clothes to notice Joel leaning against the doorframe.

You only noticed him when you turned to put the clothes into your backpack.

Audibly gasping, you dropped your bag on the ground along with the onesies.

“I… I-”

“Don’t,” Joel sighed. He bent down and grabbed your bag along with the baby clothes.

“You really thought I didn’t know?” he chuckled, slowly opening the zipper to your backpack.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, face burning red. It’s all you could manage to say. Your brain felt numb.

“No, Y/N. It takes two, remember?” he smiled, holding up a onesie in front of him.

“Been a while since I’ve done this,” he chuckled, beginning to fold the clothes. You stared at him astonished.

He was taking this news surprisingly well. You expected him to leave you somewhere, or even worse. The fact that he was smiling and folding clothes for a baby in this world was shocking.

“How did you know?” you asked him. He gave you the side eye and smirked. “I know your body like the back of my hand. I just have to close my eyes and…”

Joel closed his eyes and the stupidest grin grew on his face.

“Stop it!” you blushed, giving him a playful slap on the arm. “I notice things, darling,” he said, assuring you everything was right.

“How long have you known?” you asked him. You nervously dragged your finger across the dresser’s carved pattern. “Week maybe. Figured it was either that or you were hidin’ a bite. I prayed you were pregnant instead of bitten.”

“You also were avoiding me as much as you could,”

You looked at your shoes. “I really just didn’t want to think about… you. This.” you admitted.

“I’m not mad, sweetheart. Pick a few more, I have room in my bag.”

You opened the drawer again and went for your second pics.

“Your not mad?” you asked him. “I’m not thrilled. When I figured it out it wasn’t fun. But now…”

“What about now?” you asked him. Joel sighed.

“If I heard right…” he began.

“My shithead little brother has started a settlement up in Jackson.”

“Tommy?” you asked, folding a pair of baby shorts. “Get ‘sum them shoes too,” Joel muttered, pulling at the handle of the drawer.

“Jackson’s about a few day ride from here. I can't guarantee he’ll be happy to see me but it’s our best hope.” he assured you, placing his hand back on your back. This time you accepted his touch and pushed back on it.

You both agreed that would be the next step in your journey.

“Any name suggestions?” he asked you, handing you back your backpack.

“Jesus Joel, I haven’t even thought about that.” you said, swinging it on your back.

“What about Ellie Junior?” you heard her ask from the hall.

You and Joel made quick eye contact and then looked back at Ellie. Your mouth fell slightly open. The fear expressed over your face, you were basically a deer in headlights.

She walked into the bedroom with a shameful look on her face. “I wasn’t trying to listen I promise. This house seems to echo.”

The t

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[jeon-ify]

1, 16, 19, 32 Yeosang!! *runs and hides*

woah. you are a mastermind. im gonna have fun with this one

1. “open up, baby”

16. “stop fucking crying”

19. “yeah? you get off on me talking down to you?”

32. “you belong to me, understand?”

————————————————————————————

you belong to me- yeosang

this morning, you woke up to the sound of no one. each room in the house was empty, curiosity rising from your chest. you’d triple checked every room, your closets— nothing.

yeosang was no where to be found. you called and texted, but no answer.

an hour or so later after contemplating on whether to give up or not, you pick up your phone and text again, in hopes he responds this time.

————————————

y/n: baby? where’d you go?

y/n: ur not picking up 🫤

y/n: at least leave me on seen

y/n: did i do something wrong?

y/n: ur scaring me sangie :/

y/n: was it because i braided hwas hair?

*seen just now*

y/n: bro.. theres no way

y/n: ur mad cus i-

y/n: nevermind

sangie 🧡: on my way home. u better not have any clothes on or i’ll rip them off. understand?

y/n: i understand

sangie 🧡: good girl

———————————

you never thought that braiding seonghwa’s hair would be such a problem to your boyfriend, since you already asked and made sure it was okay with the both of them.

“hwa, stop moving or it’ll hurt—“

“then fucking hurry up its only three little pieces” he whined to you. you’re really not hurting him, but he just likes whining.

“i’m sorry!! i’m just trying to make them neater.”

yeosang sits across the room, watching the two of you whine and yell at each other. the smirk that plasters over seonghwa’s face is what makes yeosang’s stomach flip and twist in jealousy. yeosang was never ever the jealous type, but when he was, it was dangerous for the both of you.

he glares at you and you swear you saw smoke coming out of his ears. he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black nike sweats, and your phone dings twice.

sangie 🧡: just wait.

sangie 🧡: are you enjoying yourself?

sangie 🧡: bet you wanna fuck him and pull on his hair dont you

sangie 🧡: bad girl.

he slides his phone back into his baggy pockets, taking a deep breath to calm himself from the scene happening before him.

he stands up, walking over to the bowl on the counter in the kitchen where his car keys were. he starts his car, puts on his slippers and leaves the house; slamming the door behind him.

“someones jealous.” seonghwa snares.

“shut up.” you smack the back of his head, as you knew he was being petty.

“ow, dumbass. didnt you ask him if you could braid my hair already? its for a music video. he’s so fucking petty.”

“yeah, but if you keep looking at him and fucking smiling of course he’s gonna get mad and think you wanna fuck me or some shit.” you argue. you knew seonghwa had heart eyes for you since the moment you met him through yeosang. you hung out for dinner, seonghwa tagging along since he was bored out of his mind.

yeosang made the mistake of trusting seonghwa around you.

————————

you hear the door unlock and keys jingling around the knob. you run upstairs to your room before the door could open, saving yourself the hassle of yeosang carrying you and tossing you across the room.

“baby, i know you’re home. where are you?” you hear his deep voice rumbling throughout the dark home, as you sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for yeosang to find you waiting for him.

you hear his footsteps coming closer to the room, his breathing picking up as your breath hitches in fear and excitement at the same time.

he shoves the door open, being met with you at the end of the bed, cheeks flushed red and your heavy breathing ringing in his ears. he drops his wallet, phone, and keys onto the dresser as he turns back around and grabs a fist full of your hair. he pulls your head back so you’re looking up at him. he towers over you with his hand tugging and squeezing at your brown locks.

“i shouldn’t even be looking at you. but you’re fuckin’ lucky im nice to you.” he groans. he comes closer to you, prying at your lips, pushing and pulling, almost placing a kiss onto your lips. you scoot your face closer to his as he pulls away. he swipes his tongue vertically across your lips, as you sigh in relief that he finally touched you.

“open up, baby. gonna fuck that little throat of yours. you know your safeword, but i doubt you’ll use it, fuckin’ whore.” he takes his painfully hard cock out of his sweats as your throat becomes dry. you lose all words and all thoughts. you open your mouth, sticking out your dry tongue far enough for yeosang to shove his entire length down your throat.

“there you go, baby. now imagine seonghwa fucking your throat like this— fuckk, so warm.”

he’s relentlessly fucking your throat while your spit and his precum pools at the base of his cock. you scratch and grip at his clothed thighs, his neck veins pulsing and his arm muscles tightening against themselves.

“gonna cum in your throat, y/n. swallow it all like the good little bitch you are.” he groans— you could cum just from his filthy words alone. he watches the way your bare thighs wriggle and press together whenever he says things like this.

he pulls you away by the back of your neck after spilling his load down your throat. you stick your tongue out, moaning an ‘ahh’ sound so he could see that you swallowed completely. “fuck, look at you. dirty slut. bet you like when i use you like this.”

he watches the pool of tears flood your eyes from how overly pleasured you are. he mocks you, watching the way you sob and whine for him to just touch you and fill you up the way you need.

“sangie, please just fucking touch me, ‘been so good-“ he cuts you off as his heavy hand lands a sharp slap on your right cheek.

“good? you giving seonghwa ‘fuck-me eyes is good? you playing with his hair and laughing ‘n shit with my fucking friends is good?” his eyebrows furrow as he yells at you.

he’s not angry, but he’s disgusted that his friends would do such a thing, trusting them around you and wanting to build that bond with all of you.

“im sorry, daddy. just wanted you to fuck me.” you argue and plead him to just fucking do something. his large hand wraps itself around your throat as your tears spill down your cheeks to his fingers. you’re not sad, you’re intrigued by his possessiveness, thus making you so overly pleasured and excited, you decide to cry— turning him on as he loves seeing you weak before him.

“stop fucking crying. i didn’t do anything to you and you’re already cockdrunk. do you deserve to cum tonight?” he slides your panties down in one go with one hand, spreading your legs and shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth.

“suck. get ‘em all nice and wet so i can touch you where you want.” you suck and spit around his fingers while he fiddles with your throat.

“fuck— i can’t take it anymore, just fuck me please, daddy. please please please!” you moan as he rams his fingers into your sopping cunt

“i asked you a question. what do you do when i ask you a question, darling?”

“a-answer.” you manage. you don’t know how but words finally managed to leave your mouth.

“exactly. so, do you deserve to cum?” he caresses your cheek, giving you a kiss on your forehead. he’s acting gentle and kind to you, but this is the calm before the storm.

“no, i don’t.”

“and why not?” he questions.

“b-because i was touching your friend.”

“you got it, baby. you finally know common sense. now when i fuck you, don’t try to run from me. you belong to me, understand?. not seonghwa, me. turn around, and let me fuck your tight cunt.” his voice gets gradually louder when he claims you, the veins in his neck becoming prominent.

you get on all fours before him, ass up as your face is buried in his silk navy blue pillow. the cold sensation making you feel way above the clouds as yeosang undresses and runs his slim and long fingers through your folds before sliding his thick cock inside of you.

“i understand, daddy. you feel so fucking good. s-so big!” you moan. you feel like such a pornstar right now, being open and exposed for the man before you.

“look at your legs already shaking, wish i could get this on video and send to seonghwa so he fucking knows— fuck— that you are mine.”

he groans and brings his hand to land a slap on your ass cheek, eliciting a deep moan from your throat. he moves his warm and muscular arm to put you in a headlock, white stars and black clouding your vision.

his muscles contract around your throat, cutting off your air supply as he feels you clenching around his length, gripping him like your life depended.

“daddy— fuck— call me a whore!” you moan and cry out as he pounds you ruthlessly and probably the fastest you’ve ever been fucked.

“yeah? you get off on me talking down to you? nasty whore.”

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want yeosang to put a baby in you, just so you could be full of him. truthfully, you both werent ready for a baby, but you just wanted to walk around with him inside of you forever, everywhere you went.

he groans and moans in your ear as you feel him twitching deep inside you. you cum around his length, his thrusts becoming quicker and harder, you feel him chasing his orgasm.

“gonna put a fuckin’ baby in you. so seonghwa knows who you belong to. walk around the house with my seed in you, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, y/n?”

“yes- fuck, please please please~” you moan again, arching your back up and down, as yeosang pulls you onto his hips, as you feel him reach a spot he has never reached before, making you squirt and stain his satin sheets.

“made a fuckin mess. look at you. let this be a warning for the next time you touch or look at any of my friends, hm baby?”

“o-okay,” you cry out.

he paints his load all over your pink gummy walls, groaning and stilling his thrusts as you both catch your breaths. he pulls out while you lay down, processing what the fuck just happened.

this was the best sex you’ve ever had.

————————————————————

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS OMFG IT WAS SO HARD TO WRITE CUS I DONT WRITE YEOSANG BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TOO

[kairiscorner]

hihiii pookie :DD!!

tw// mentions of depression

i'm wondering if you could maybe write a comfort fic about miles 42 with a reader who hates asking for help even when theyre clearly suffering in silence because they were taught to just 'suck it up' and deal with it alone as a kid?

you dont have to write this if you dont feel comfortable with it <33

Thank you pooks :33!!

hi pooks @jrrantss <:DD oh man, okay so i was kind of that kid back then too (though i was a big crybaby) it's like the adults around me didn't fully comprehend why i was feeling the way i was, so in response to that, they basically condemned crying at home or in front of them. i'm sorry if you went through something similar or, hopefully not, something worse ;-; i hope this provides you some comfort, and in a way, might also let you know you aren't the only one going through stuff like this. i'm here for you pookie, all the time <:)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you can be honest with me. – miles 42 x reader (angst + comfort)

nothing went your way this week, hell, you couldn't even remember a week in your life when anything felt right, when you didn't feel that you were holding yourself back from letting go of everything that felt wrong, awful, and just... painful. you were too good at keeping secrets, too good at lying about how you really felt; and that was something you hated about yourself, how you found lying as your first nature, not your second. you lied to people when they'd ask you if you were doing okay, if your day was going alright–you always gave them the answers they want to hear, that you were fine, that nothing was wrong.

but when everything just comes crumbling down, and the cracks in your facade begin to show and become more obvious... you get more and more defensive, more and more angry, more and more... scared and worried about these feelings that are hurling themselves at you so quickly that you can't even begin to understand why they're affecting you so badly–why people can see the bare you now if you just turn your face to look at them or open your mouth to speak; and your boyfriend was the first person to see you this way, vulnerable, yet trying all you can to avoid that vulnerability while you're crumbling down.

"hey," miles calls out to you in a soft voice as he sees your back turned to him as you kept working on your assignments, hunched over at your desk with your brows furrowed together and your lips curved into a scowl. you had been avoiding him for a few days now–at least he thinks you might be avoiding him–and have acted very distant, very... out of it recently. you didn't turn your head around to face him, which prompted him to continue talking, hopefully so you could find a reason to face him and his worried eyes. "you've, um... you've been busy lately." "uh-huh." you hummed as you tapped the end of your pencil against your desk impatiently, racking your brain for the answer to the questions written down that all seemed to blur together as the shittiness of the previous days just irritated you even more, and the worst part was... you couldn't hide the fact you can't mask ot anymore.

miles' face contorted as he got more and more worried about you, not knowing why you were acting starkly different than the usual you, or the only you he was familiar with. he extended his hand out to you as he walked over, looking at your cluttered up papers on your desk and the smudged up marks on the paper from your erasures. "...is something wr–" "everything's fine, i'm fine, i'm just peachy!" "you don't sound very convincing." he said, his voice returning to his nonchalant, cool tone as he took a small glimpse at your face before you turned away from his field of vision.

he sat in the chair next to you and wrapped his arm around you in an effort to comfort you. "cielo, sonething's up with you. are you... are you sure you don't wanna let me help?" he asked you with a soft voice, hoping he didn't overstep any boundaries as you slowly turned your head to show him a bit of your face. there were tears in your eyes, though you didn't dare let miles see them fall down your face; there was a sob stuck in your throat, but you didn't dare let miles hear it escape your lips. you had been there before, being severely troubled for more things than just homework–but never had you been advised to do anything than the age old phrases you've heard all your life as a kid: 'get over it.'

you took in a deep breath and tried to tell him what those words you've exhausted yourself from saying all the damn time–that you don't need any help, that you've got this, that you're okay... but your body's betraying you right now. it's betraying you for turning your back on your own feelings, but that... was never your fault, never. as you let out the breath you've been holding in, the hot tears came streaking down the ends of your eyes, your scowl morphing into a sad frown as you felt yourself slowly come undone and all the raging thoughts in your mind boiled down into one thought right then and there: 'fuck no, i am far from okay'.

you had one tear come down, then two, then... a whole waterfall of tears came pouring down your eyes as you finally released that sob you had been desperately keeping in. you had released it out into the air as it mingled with miles' shushing and gentle whispers as he held you while you leaned against him, wailing as you tried telling him how nothing had been right lately. you choked out in broken cries how you desperately wanted a way out of everything horrible that's been happening but you didn't want anyone else to be bothered by your 'stupid, insignificant problems'.

"i just... want to be okay... but i can't even pretend to be okay for at least one damn day." "please, stop pretending, mi vida. it's hurting me how you... how you think it's strength to rake up everything by yourself... when you clearly need help." miles said with a cracked voice as he felt himself choke up at your melancholic state. you cried even more out of guilt that you saddened miles, but he kissed your forehead, cheek–your whole face as he murmured words of reassurance, of love, to you to calm you down and comfort you. "you're not alone, not anymore... i don't care if some idiots in your life want you to deal with alone, never to bother them–you're never a bother to me, got that?" he mutters to you as he holds you close, letting you sob into his shoulder, your sobs getting louder and louder all the while. he shushes you and rubs your back gently, kissing your wet cheeks as he keeps reminding you that no matter what you're going through, what problems you're having, he's always going to be there for you–be the help you'll need, one way or another.

"please, don't be scared, mi vida... you can be honest with me. i promised to love you with all my heart, protect you, and... always be the help you'll need."

he whispered to you as he looked into your eyes and gently wiped your tears away and leaned his forehead against yours, hoping you would be more lenient, more understanding towards yourself and your own needs; and that you wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. because even if you don't ask him to, he'll be there to help you, be there to guide you, be there to comfort you the best he can. because he loves you, and knows you deserve more than what you think you deserve, that you deserve... the best of the best, and nothing less.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv @conitagray

[hearts4mica]

Can you do the bowers gang with a mean child reader? Like she’s like them but just younger and less scarier and so they meet her when she steals something from them or something. Thank you!!!

Sweet But Psycho

My masterlist if you wanna check it out

What happens when a mean girl meets the bowers gang?

You a 12 year old child were bored out of your mind and had nothing to do because you pretended to be sick to leave school early

But now you were not allowed to go out alone since it was dangerous since you were “sick”

Well you since never obeyed your parents and they left you home alone to go back to work. You decided to have some control in your life and decided to sneak out. (Not that they needed to know that).

So you opened your window and left your house. But you also had no idea what to do so you just decided to walk around. until you found a gold mine.

The “Derry Highschool” you surely could find something fun to do there. Or you could go to your friends house. ‘Ha thats stupid’ *i dont have any friends* you thought that was true since you were mean to every kid in your grade so nobody really liked you at all. So of course you decided that Derry High would be your victim today.

Since you were small you were able to sneak in pretty easily. Now that you were inside what were you going to do? You had no idea until your eyes locked onto something. ‘The fire alarm’

‘Amazing’ you thought to yourself and began to walk towards it cauteously and when you were about to pull it- someone beat you to it!

That idiot dared to knock your small form onto the floor! How dare he! you would make them pay surely!

And just as you were about to say something they ran away after pulling the fire alarm! So now you also had to run away! So you run after them those bastards.

You sneakily stalked from not so far as they made their way into a car. ‘Perfect a ride home and i could also steal something from them- no! Not steal! Grab something without their permission.’

So you quickly got into the trunk and as soon as you sat down they sped out of the school before snyone could notice.

You couldnt hear the convo at all so you got bored quickly and decided to look around the trunk to see what you could grab. But everything was a bunch of junk! So stupid!

They pulled up to a gas station and got out of the car. Perfect chance to get inside and grab some stuff.

How bad can this possibly be?

You quickly got inside of the car looked around ew it smells like ass in here you were sure you could die in here if you stayed for a bit longer you looked at the floor and saw a bunch of cd’s you didnt recognize but you hoped they were worth something so you grabbed 4 or more and the moment you were about to open the door someone beat you to it… again!

You and that blonde mullet dude stared at eachother for like 5 seconds.

Then you started running you pushed him… as strong as a twelvw year old could push a fifteen almost twenty! Year old.. he didnt move at all and he grabbed you as soon as you started running so now way to run now.

You explain yourself and convince them to not kill you…not that they would you would kill them first tho!

Well now theyre your friends! Yay?

You usually hang out in Henrys backyard shooting some random animals you dont say anything and just roll with it well atleast you get to keep the skulls!

And Patrick showed you all the fridge well you thought it was really cool but sad but that’s the cycle of life well but it smelt so… so bad! Yuck!

Now you’re in highschool! and they’re still in highschool damn… but well atleast your only friends are with you.

They still treat you like a child that’s stupid since you’ve grown alot! But at the end of the day you love them they’re family.

You really hope they don’t die soon

[cc--2224]

i dont know if you’ve written anything like this already- but i was gonna ask if you could write a funny smutty crack fic where Tech asks the reader to sit on his face but the reader is hesitant because they dont wanna hurt him- but Tech convinces reader that hes ok with being suffocated anyway- and he like- passes out mid-session LMFAO- and the reader panics but he wakes up like an hour later

Anon this is probably the most unserious thing I've written and I hope that's what you wanted 😂😂 thank you for requesting!!

Warnings: This is very much 18+ Minors do not interact! Warnings are clear from the ask but, oral (f receiving/face sitting), Tech passes out but he's fine lmao

No actual proofreading and no title apparently 😂 although my friend suggested "Plan 69" which is Hilarious

Masterlist

The two of you were finally alone in the Marauder. You had both hung back to work on some repairs while the others went on a supply run.

The repairs didn't take long to complete, and that's how you and Tech had found yourselves in his bunk.

Your relationship wasn't really a secret necessarily. Everyone knew, they just didn't ask. As long as it didn't interfere with either of your work, it was never an issue.

But that also led to these times where you had such a short amount of time in private that you just wanted to spend together, however possible.

He was hovered above you in his bed. He placed a trail of kisses from your lips down to your bare chest. He loved feeling your soft skin against him, and he always ensured that nothing went without.

His hand trailed after, making sure that whenever his mouth was preoccupied, his hand could make up the difference.

As his hand traveled down toward the waistband of your blacks you began to notice the dampness pooling between your legs.

He took a break from kissing and leaving marks on your breast to peer up at you, checking in on what you wanted him to do.

Your hand found his and encouraged him to continue.

He smirked.

"I was hoping we could try something." He said quietly as he continued disrobing you.

"Oh?"

He shifted over so that he was lying on his back, and he gestured for you to get on top of him.

When you were straddling his hips, his hands gripped the backs of your thighs, pulling you up toward him. You didn't really know where he was going with this, but you trusted him.

When he continued pulling you further than his chest, you understood.

"Tech, is this such a good idea?"

"Of course it is. I want to taste you, but more importantly, I want to feel you take what you want from me."

This sent a heat all through your core, Tech had such a way with words that you didn't even know if he was intentionally talking dirty or if he was just honest about what he wanted.

"But what if I hurt you? What if you can't breathe?"

"Then I shall die a happy man."

You couldn't help but laugh at that, and you complied as he pulled you up further.

Your knees were now on either side of his head, and you braced yourself against the headboard of his bunk.

You didn't have time to feel self-conscious about just how much of you he could see before he began telling you how beautiful you are.

His hands slid up, gripping your hips as he slowly pulled you down to his mouth.

You made sure not to fully sit down. You kept yourself perched slightly above him.

He continued holding your hips as he guided his tongue through your folds. You bucked your hips involuntarily at the contact, and you could hear him moan faintly.

"That's it, show me what you want." He told you.

His nose nudged your clit as his tongue circled around your entrance, lapping up everything you had to give him.

You moaned when your felt him push his tongue inside of you. You carefully began moving your hips and he gave a you and approving moan.

The vibrations his sounds had made only added to your own reactions.

He pulled his tongue out and once again licked through your folds, this time bringing it up to your clit.

You felt him flicking it with his tongue before he closed his mouth around it.

You moaned loudly and nearly lost your balance when he sucked on it; having to hold onto the headboard again.

You felt your climax building slowly with each swipe of his tongue. You allowed your hips to buck more, each one earning an approval from Tech.

But soon you heard nothing, and you no longer felt his tongue or his grip on your hips.

"Oh, kriff!" You exclaimed as you clambered off of him.

"Tech?" You cautiously reached out and prodded his shoulder before moving your fingers toward his neck, looking for a pulse.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you found one, you wouldn't have known how to explain it if you had to get help for him.

You decided it would be best to wait for him to wake up, so you put your clothes back on and went to grab a towel from the refresher to clean his face.

Luckily, the two of you were still alone in the Marauder.

After you were done cleaning up, you sat beside him, gently stroking his hair until he finally woke up with a sudden gasp.

"Shh, shh," you cooed, "You're okay, I've got you."

"What happened?" He asked, slowly getting up and raising a hand to his forehead.

"... You passed out."

"I... what?"

You smiled and shook your head, "While I was... on top of you, you stopped responding, and you scared me half to death."

"I see..." He looked at you, then got a mischievous look in his eyes, "So, could we try again?"

[fly1nglow]

WHEN THE BELLS RING (1).

summary ── steve is desperate to make his work environment a less unbearable place and the newly arrived teacher could be a good distraction.

pairings & characters ── teacher!steve x teacher!fem!reader, some ocs

additional info & warnings ── fluff, slow burn, reader is supposed to be a ‘big city girl’, reader is also kinda anxious, little steve pov inserted, i guess steve is not accurate but i tried my best </3, no warnings besides that, i guess

author’s notes: ok… so this is my first fanfic after sooo long, but this idea came to me in a dream and i wanted to write, i feel like it kinda sucks but i also just wanna have some fun writing again. also… i know this must be annoying but… should i say english isn’t my first language (and that i dont know how the educational system of united states works)? :/, that should be all, pls be kind <3

The breeze passed through the leaves gently, taking some to the windshield, it was a really pleasant scene to enjoy in autumn, but it was also a great change of scenery in your opinion: Hawkins, from what you knew and had seen so far at that moment, it felt like that kind of small town you see in movies, where everyone knows everyone and nothing really happens, very different from what you had grown up with and lived with all your life, which were noisy cities, tall buildings and people who really didn't care. they paid attention to you.

But sudden changes weren't very pleasant either, yet here you were, in a small town in the middle of Indiana.

After taking another sip of your coffee, hoping the drink would distract you from something you didn't yet know you feared, you grabbed your bag and threw in the items that would be needed to survive your first day of work at Hawkins Public School. Your keys, notebooks and books were everything he considered really essential for the day.

Getting out of the car, you clutched the cup with the now cold drink in your hands, placed your bag in your arms, and headed towards the clearly old but friendly-looking building in front of you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ—

Steve was curious to know who would replace Mrs. Brown, because although he got along with most people, his coworkers didn't exactly fit into that category. They were mostly middle-aged people, who thought he was childish, whether because of his age or the way he acted, he still didn't know for sure, but he knew they were his age once and he hoped they would be kinder.

However, he still didn't know how meeting 'the newbie' could help his case, he figured, that maybe by getting to know him first he could get some information and then pass it on to his colleagues, maybe then they would see him as someone helpful and trustworthy, but he still didn't know how that would help him.

It was lost in these thoughts that he found himself in the still empty hallway and in front of Mrs. Brown's old door, now weathered and which he knew made a loud noise when it was pushed in a certain way and now, he was a little unsure, a very different feeling compared to the confident and playful Steve of just a few years ago. But his movements seemed not to follow his thoughts, because now he had knocked on the door.

Before he could step back and get him out of there, he opened the door after hearing a muffled and distant voice say 'come in'.

‘‘Good morning.’’ Steve laughed and hurried over.

‘‘Oh, good morning!’’ A young-looking woman, who was pasting some notices on the wall, turned to face him, left the materials on the table and approached to greet him, as he was approaching.

‘‘I’m Professor Harrington, but you can actually call me Steve, you know, I guess it’s okay, in fact I prefer to be called that…’’

Now he was rambling. He extended his hand for a shake, which she readily accepted. Now closer, he could notice a few more small details about her: her hair was slightly messy, perhaps due to the wind outside, there was also a small piece of adhesive tape stuck near the collar of her pullover sweater, but he pretended not to notice, afraid that she would think he was looking more than he should.

‘‘Well, I’m a physical education teacher. I thought it would be a good idea to stop by and say hi.’’

She then introduced herself.

‘‘That’s very kind of you, Steve.’’

‘‘Well…’’ Steve looked around the room, but his mind was looking for some way to keep the conversation going, or maybe an excuse to leave. ‘‘Do you need help? Do you already know the building? You know I can…’’

Great, he was rambling again. Good way to make a good impression, right?

‘‘Actually, if you guys have a coffee machine, I’d love to know where it is.’’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ—

You definitely hadn't thought much when you left your room and decided to follow Professor Harrington to the staff room, a small room, with white walls, two windows, shelves full of books, papers, some chairs and tables. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable place you'd ever seen. But you just wanted to distract yourself from the hustle and bustle of your own thoughts, because the first day of work had left you exhausted and it hadn't even started yet.

Also, you weren't the type to jump to conclusions because of appearance, but the first thing you noticed was that Steve had adorable eyes that seemed to match the type of person he was. And at the moment he seemed like a lovely person. That he talked a lot.

He had recently talked about how he grew up in the city and how it was a little strange teaching the children of people he had known all his life. You also shared some facts, about where you grew up and where you studied, all while he observed you carefully and asked some questions to keep the conversation going.

‘‘So why did you come here?’’

‘‘Salary, obviously.’’

You tried to joke and he chuckled weakly at your little attempt at being funny. Steve looked away from your figure, as you were drinking the second cup of coffee of the day, he observed the other person who entered the room, but who still didn't notice the presence of the two of you in the room. This made Steve get a little closer to you, still keeping an acceptable distance but so that only you could hear him whisper:

‘‘That’s Professor Watson, from physics… A pain in the ass at first, but if he likes you, he might get you a discount on drinks at a bar.’’

‘‘Discounts in a bar? Why?’’ You whispered back, while trying to focus on the new figure that appeared: it was a small man in comparison to Steve, his hair already showing signs of getting gray and he had a serious face.

‘‘His sister owns one of the bars in town, she always gives discounts to his friends and colleagues.’’

‘‘And you, do you have a discount there?’’

‘‘No, he hates me. But who knows, maybe you’ll be luckier than me.’’

‘‘Good strategy, Harrington, you barely know me and you’re already trying to use me to get discounts at bars?’’

You both laughed and soon the sound caught the attention of the person who was previously the center of the conversation. Steve quickly distanced himself and silently indicated with signs for you to follow him and then, there followed another one of those social formalities that people tend to forget happened easily: introducing yourself.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ—

And introducing yourself was the key word and the pattern that followed for practically the entire day: introducing yourself to your colleagues, students and some parents.

The students were as you expected them to be, lively students who preferred talking to their classmates rather than paying attention in class, but, luckily or perhaps your own teaching talent, you managed to get them to pay attention to what you were saying. and they were able to apply their knowledge well to their tasks. As for your coworkers, excluding Steve, your colleagues weren't exactly the warmest and friendliest people you knew, but that didn't take up much space in your mind.

Not long after the last bell rang, you were getting ready to end the day at work and return to your cozy home. Until two knocks on the door distracted you.

Peeking through the half-open door, you quickly realized who it was: Steve trying to be helpful again.

‘‘Do you need help there, newbie?’’

You didn't mind the small informalities when you were quick to decline his help.

‘‘No need, I was already finishing it anyway.’’

He pretended to look disappointed, you couldn't help but chuckle at his theatrics. You quickly finished your things and grabbed your bag, and left the room with Steve following right behind you.

‘‘You know,’’ Steve began as you both walked down the corridor, ‘‘that’s the good part about being a physical education teacher, I don’t need a room, just some balls and a court.’’

‘‘It’s easy when a good number of children love the chance to be aggressive without being reprimanded.’’

‘‘It is,’’ Steve agreed, a fond smile on his face. ‘‘Kids can be a handful, but they mean well. Today, one of them lobbed a ball right at my stomach, but they made up for it with a lollipop as an apology.’’

‘‘A lollipop," you chuckled, ‘‘the universal peace offering.’’

‘‘If lollipops didn't work wonders, doctors wouldn't hand them out after every appointment,’’ Steve quipped, his laughter echoing down the hallway.

Steve walked you to the parking lot, soon stopping near what you assumed was his car. You turned to see him and to say goodbye.

‘‘See you tomorrow, newbie,’’ Steve grinned.

‘‘See you tomorrow, Professor Harrington,’’ you replied with a playful smirk.

He rolled his eyes and got into the car, making your way to your own car as you watched him get further away. Placing your arms a little closer to your body to avoid the cold, you could reflect a little on that end of the day as you once again observed the parking lot, now a little darker as the sun was already hiding, but which you expected to see for a while, for many more days.

In that silence, you could conclude that the first day of work had not been as horrible and terrifying as you had expected.

[4-linz]

Oops

Pairing: wooyoung x y/n

Genre: fluff, chaotic fluff lol

Warnings: some cursing(I gotta stay minimal with it tho bc I write these on my school comp 😭) , wooyoung is kinda panicking lol, wooyoung is called an attention whore but in a good way pls dont hate me 😭 ,reader is called ning like 3 times , grammar might not be correct I'm tired lol, I think that's it

Summary: wooyoung is confused on how you got into his heart, he never told anyone about his mental list he made, not even san so that should say something, so how did you do it? Was its on purpose to mess with him? Or on accident

Wc. 1.69k

A/n I wanted to write and I had just reread @yuyusuyu princess chronicles and I wanted to do something similar with wooyoung :) pls I'm dieing I h8 using ppls ideas but I'm in writers block and I need to write rn 😭 so creds to @yuyusuyu for the idea lol I hope this is good cuz I luv her work and I don't wanna ruin her reputation lol I also have a feeling this is gonna be a short fic bc again I'm in writers block and that's all i can take rn lolz

Wooyoung never thought he could find a relationship that was near the thing he and san had going on (even san doesnt know whats happening tbh), but here we are, you slowly winning over his heart. How? He doesn't know. He has a very very very very very- i can keep going but what i mean is he has a very secret procedure that even san doesnt know about, but it's a way you can take over his love life, so you somehow slowly completing the 5 steps was very concerning.

Step 1. Treat him like royalty

Well you don't have to bow down and worship him but you just have to treat him him like the mona lisa, praise him- and maybe worship him, he likes to be praised and feel noticed-attention whore is his middle name after all- so when you walk into the room with him and everyone else and you notice him first and COMPLIMENT HIM AND ONLY HIM?!?! He was feeling a little lightheaded, “ oh hi woo! I like your hair, it looks different! In a good way of course-” you said slightly rambling at the end “ oh- um yea… i um-” he stumbled out “ i uh WASHED IT, yea, yea i washed it." He said trying to redeem himself and act cool because seonghwa was looking at him weird. “ for once you washed it” san said scoffing, without him knowing- or did he? San had saved him from an awkward situation “HEY i do wash my hair thank you very much” he said huffing, pouting but quickly opening his eyes when he heard you laugh.

Step 2. Find him funny

(or just try to laugh at his ridiculous jokes)

The sound of your laughter filled his dorm, san had left to go out with Seonghwa, leaving him alone and so of course he invited you just so he could hang out with his now crush for a movie night!! Why else would he invite you over…?He found himself in a trance listening to your laughs, they sounded like music to his ears, literally he was listening to the rhythm in your laughs and thought they sounded so much like you, the beat matched your personality. ‘ wooyoung stop that's weird, and nothing like you.’ he said when he came out of his little bubble when ever he heard your voice tinted with worry as your friend was looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face and was very silent, which was very concerning given its wooyoung. The look of worry on your face made his heart flutter, where you really worried for him…? ‘ shit im fucked’ he thought

Stept 3. Worry/care for him

“ wooyoung? Are you in there?” your voice sounding small compared to the yelp wooyoung let out upon hearing your voice in his dorm.” OW SHIT, ning is that you?!” he yelped, he had hurt his leg and couldn't attend practice, him not being there worried you given he had always been there, so you went to his dorm. “Woo what were you thinking laying on the edge of the couch,be careful you could hurt yourself more if you do that?!” You said scolding him lightly,the worry in your face very clear,” you didn't hurt yourself more did you?, here let me get you some food so you don't have to walk.” wooyoung hoped you didn't notice the slight blush on his face when you lifted his chin forcefully checking to see if he hurt his face during the fall. “ Goddammit, step 3 , 2 more to go and I'm done for..” he mumbled “ did you say something?” you said, peaking your head out of the other room. “ OH-UM-NO '' he quickly said, hoping you don't suspect anything and hoping you truly had not heard anything he said.

Step 4. Being rough with him.

(do i really ahve to explain?)

Wooyoung's heart fluttered when you cupped his face and moved it left to right to see if he had hurt his face, he had fallen trying to learn how to skate. He had failed horribly but that's not what mattered right now, what mattered was you were holding his face. “ Wooyoung, I told you, you have to be more careful” you said with a slight pout, worried about your best friend. You had to put your whole body strength into helping him up because he was so zoned out all his body weight was on the floor. But the words that snapped him out of his little trance were enough to heal him right then and there “ when we get home do you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?”

Step 5. Physical affection.

“Ninggg hurry up and bring the popcorn” wooyoung shouted, he had been alone in his and sans dorn because apparently san couldn't deal with wooyoung's ramblings about you so he left with seonghwa, of well at least that means he can invite you over more right? Wrong, this is the first time in weeks he's invited you over because he couldn't muster up the courage to ask you.” I'm right here..?” you said laughing when he turned around and saw you, his eyes widened in amazement on how you could find that much popcorn in his house, where it came from? No idea he's been trying to find popcorn for a month and has found none so how did you find some? No clue, but he didn't really care as his heart picked up when you sat very close to him. Very close.and his heart picked up even more realizing you two were watching a scary movie. He could be your knight in shining armor and hold you close when you got scared. Well you ended up holding him like he's a baby but that didn't matter to him even though he's going to be very embarrassed later. What mattered right now to him was trying to calm his heart, from the jumpscares and the fact that you two were there cuddling?! Mostly the first option , but hey those things were scary, don't judge>:(

Another time he found himself in this situation was on his birthday, wooyoung and you tangled up in each other limbs, the others where getting the place ready so of course you offered to keep him busy while the others fixed up the dorm for him, so you invited him over, which he couldn't say no to you. He was laying on you the couch and you were running your hands through his hair, which in hindsight helped him alot with what he was going to ask you. You had single handedly finished all 5 steps without knowing? Or maybe you did know? He doesn't know but he needs to ask you about it. It's been eating him alive for the past week. He knows he shouldn't ask on his birthday because what if you say no? But he couldn't wait because, what if you say yes? No birthday present could top that. Here he goes, his heart racing he manages to strangle out a “ hey ning…? “ ew he thought, why did it sound like that, he was cringing until he heard you say back “ yes? Did you need something?” you smiling down at him calmed him down a lot more than he thought “ can i ask you something?” he took a deep breath “ of course, anything woo” you laid your phone down to put all attention on him, still playing with his hair. “ i um- do you um “ he stuttered “ dammit” he said sitting up “ is there something wrong wooyoung?” concern filling your face “ i like you. Like I ‘like like’ you.” he said getting it out there, but before you could say anything he continued “ and i was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime…?” he couldn't look you in the face because he felt like he would explode. For real he was holding his breath for so long he felt like he was going to burst. “ woo i-” you giggled and he turned around ready to be faced with rejection. “ of course i will” you cupped his face and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He looked like a lost puppy, eyes wide and frozen in shock “ wait you- you like me to?” ugh he sounded like a 2nd grader finding out their crush likes them back. “ Of course I do woo, who wouldn't love you?” you giggled at the end. Just as wooyoung went to speak he got interrupted by your phone going off saying it was time to bring him back to the dorm for his surprise.

Hwa: hey were done over here if you wanna bring him back

You: okay! But warn san if he's coming back to stay with wooyoung lol

Hwa: oh good lord

Smiling at yourself you took him by the hand and told him you two where going back to his dorm for something.Lets just say he went back to the dorm holding your hand and he was the happiest birthday boy in the world. But wooyoung had one more question before he went back to the dorm "wait so did you know about the list or not?" He questioned you "what list?" You questioned back "wait so your telling me you completed a whole goddammit list without knowing it ever even existed?!" He squealed out "Oops" you shrugged and laughed

[miowritings]

HIHI, this is my first request ever so i hope im doing it right- could i have a reader who’s really impulsive when their tired or sleepy, like their too tired to care about what they say. then their laying on their crush’s lap and they suddenly cup their face and start complimenting and admiring them then confess and swhhrcbjsscc preferably written with akito, minori and whoever u like!!! (sorry if this was too detailed.) TY <3

A/N: omgg, this is soo cute😭🩷‼️ im actually like that irl but instead of compliments i say random sht? Anywayzz here ya go and i hope you like em🫶

Sudden confession

Gn! Reader x akito shinonome & minori hanasato (akito might be ooc...)

Minori Hanasato

You were laying in minori's lap after a hard day, you could finally visit your best friend and feel relaxed. Minori brushes your hair with her fingers and proceeds to talk about her day

"We had lots of fun today! Airi is teaching me this choreography of this one song i like! We're planning on-"

Minori pauses herself, wondering why you suddenly out a strand of her hair behind her hair

"Hm? You know i could do that myself right?" She says playfully, you smiled at her playfulness and began telling her how you feel, you werent sure why, you just did..

"Minori, i love you, more than friends.. hehe" y/n says playfully before falling asleep, leaving minori in a state of shock, confusion and happiness

"W-WHAAAT?! Y/N! WAKE UP! DONT J-JUST FALL ASLEEP!" Minori screams, shaking you to hopefully wake you up, she also wants to tell you that she feels the same way

Akito Shinonome

You just got home after school and the sun was begining to set, you sat on your bed playing your phone and doing nothing, you then decided to do your homework.

Once you opened your bag you see that your notebook was nowhere to be found, you panicked a bit, the deadline was tomorrow and the notebook was nowhere to be seen, you suddenly remembered that a certain close friend of yours borrowed it to take some notes, you then proceed to call him.

"Hey, kito.. where's my notebook? Do not tell me you left it at school..." You asked, you could hear akito groaning "chill i accidentally put it on my bag, ill just.. return it tomorow" he shruggs, you sighed in annoyance and began to tell him that you needed that notebook to finish some assigments.

"If you want that notebook then just, come to my place.. i mean.. we live pretty close right? Youre just.. right around the corner.." he suggested "what?! No way! Im not walking, you brought my notebook with you, you should be the one to return it.!" You fought back, making sure to emphasize your words.

"Well.. then im not giving it to you, bye" akito says in a sing-song voice "w-wait! Ugh.. fine ill get it.. dont copy my homework tomorow kay?" You added, akito groaned "fine, finee.."

After minutes of walking you knocked the door of the shinonome household, you were greeted with akito, wearing pajamas and carrying a bag of chips, he coughed when seeing you "o-oh you actually came.. yeah uh.. the notebooks right in my bag.. ill go get it" he responded when he left, you could see the tv playing, it was your favorite movie! When akito came back he saw you staring at the television.

"Hm? You know this show too? Hm.. wanna watch it with me?" He asks, before he knows it you were already inside his house watching the television. You wondered.. why werent his parents home? and where was his sister?

"Hey akito, wheres your dad? Or your sis?" You ask, akito simply shrugged and replied nonchalantly "my sister doing something at her room...probably drawing or talking to her friends.. my mom's out with her friends and my dad is staying late for work" you simply nodded and continued watching the movie, soon enough you found yourself falling asleep, akito doesnt notice this but begins to notice when it suddenly got too quiet..

"Hm.? Y/n you alright- oh hell no.." he mutters, you were sleeping peacefully, akito wants to wake you up.. but at the same time.. he doesnt afterall he did drag you out in the middle of the night just for you to get the notebook that he stole, akito sighs and puts a pillow below your head, he sighs and whispers ".. what did i get myself into.." you shuffle around and mutter quietly "mm.. like... You too... Kito.." you mutter, akito overhears this and instantly turns red.

"Y-YOU WHAT?!" He screams and instantly covers his mouth, you groaned a bit and continued sleeping, akito was surely thankful that you were a heavy sleeper. "Oh thank god..." He sighs with relief ".. i like you too dumbass.. took you long enough.." he says quietly with a tone of playfulness. He arranges your sleeping position so that your comfortable.

Bonus:

Akito sneakily took your phone and then took a pic of your sleeping face and sets it as your wallpaper "theyre gonna love it.." he grins mischievously, after hours you finally wake up, you grabbed your notebook and quietly leave the house, when you checked what time it is you went red with embarrassment it was a pic of yourself sleeping! You'll surely get him next time.!

[gege-wondering-around]

Hello cariad! I really liked this question and I'm so curious to know your answer!

What's something you're very passionate about? 🩵

And how did you discover this passion?

hi darling @dontcallpanic! sorry it took me so long to answer! hope I'll be able to do justice to the ask and your answer was extremely heart warming and you're such an amazing person for doing that🫂🩵

something I'm very passionate about is:

meritocracy/'getting what you deserve'

I've seen the world being unfair since I was very young, I've seen it first hand in second grade and it got stuck with me.

(little back story moment: a classmate of mine wanted to cheat from me and I tried not to let her but she kept insisting, the teacher noticed and scolded me and put my desk against the wall)

ever since, I've never let anyone cheat off of me, I've tried my hardest to never cheated myself (unless it was necessary, like last year with chemistry because the teacher was the worst and next year we dont have that subject anymore, so the whole class just opted for the best way out, and I honestly don't regret it. but other that this one time, cheating is not for me).

anytime cheating was brought up by one of my friends, I'd be the one going against their methods (sneaking 2 phones so they'd keep one during the exam, hear bugs to listen to audios, long ass cheating sheets under the chair and such) cause the one who did this, were those who could simply study and get a very good grade.

and it was such a common thing to do, to cheat every single time, that they'd brag about it like it was the success of the century. and they never got what they actually deserved and it makes me sick. cause i know people who bust their asses to keep their grades up and have little to no recognition for their efforts, while these other people who cheats just get away with it.

and they don't just cheat on exam... one cheated on her gf as well, one is planning on cheating the driver theory test, and so on.

(another back story moment: math exam, i studid days for it and a friend of mine kept asking me for help. at home, i did an exercise we both struggled on and got the right answer but i knew the method was wrong but found no other way to get to the answer. i send it to my friend, don't remember what she said but i remember she told me it was done wrong and i knew. next day, the day of the exam, 10 minutes before it she went to our math teacher to ask him how it was supposed to be done and showed him the pic with my work, and he obviously told her it was done wrong (and i knew the whole time it was) and she came back fiercely saying 'i told you it was wrong' but i let her me. during the exam, she had photomath doing her exam while the teacher was 1 meter away from her. and he told her nothing.)

but apart from school, I've seen this in my parents' work environment too, cause they are both the most hard workers and they get less than most and have to do everything for others cause, for example my father, is the only one who can this particular machine (which is falling apart) and he had to 'study' the whole thing to understand how to make it work, while others, whenever its their time to work on it, they just give up the second the machine decided to break and those people don't work for the rest of the day.

anyway! (you can already cleary tell my passione about this...)

to make it short, it makes me sick that busting your ass gets you nothing and cheating gives you everything. and I discover it (if you can say you can discover this) because everything is unfair and I want to be fair. I wanna play fairly and get what i deserve, whatever it might be.

it's one of my strongest moral, not to cheat, and it shows not only on test but friendships and relationships too cause I'm extremely loyal and honest and genuine (to the point others take advantage of it) but I'm proud of it regardless. i get what i get and im satisfied by my results cause i know the efforts behind it. but seeing nothing more than the wolrd being unfair takes away from me the enjoyment of being able to do the things i do... yet, I try my hardest to make sure people get treated fairly, i want people to know their efforts aren't wasted on their interests or success (such as grades and others).

but moving on cause i could rant about meritocracy forever...

psychology

ever since i was little it mesmerized me. the human mind, behavior, response based upon past experiences and how one person can be molded by society and the wolrd.

i knew a few things about psychology and it helped me (along with helping me helping others too) to go on with my life and get over certain moments when i was at my lowest.

i wanna understand people deeply (and i can even without psychology, I have a lot of empathy for others) and this helped me a lot to understand their behavior and feelings cause even subtle hints can tell you so much about someone.

i feel that, knowing psychology even a little bit, gives me the ability to make a web of someone mind (even if it'd be so little and insignificant) which is amazing to me. to be able to put something to abstract and complex as someone's identity on paper, to understand them to the point you get the ALMOST completely (in that little aspect, for example why i care so much about meritocracy. psychology can only tell you that much about my passiont towards it) because love makes the understanding complete.

i don't believe that you can understand someone simply based upon psychology because you make them nothing more than a rat lab. i believe you need love to fully get someone's way of being, you need to understand their feelings and reasons and psychology can do only so much about it.

in short. to understand people, i discovered psychology cause i needed to understand myself, why i was depressed and such, and it helped me come to the realization i couldn't help myself until i started loving who i was.

which brings me to...

love

i have a tremendous lack of love in my life and my friends ease that pain without even knowing it. my kindness comes from love, everything i do is based upon love.

someone once told me i can't live a life based upon love, seeing love everywhere, but i don't care. for me love can be anywhere, it can be in a little hobby i picked up simply to do one thing and ended up being useful further on, it can be in putting a can os sode in the fridge knowing you won't be the one drinking it. (and its your fav soda as well). it can be sharing something with those you love, even i simply 'hey i dreamt this tonight...' and have a good laught together.

love is everywhere, i can see it everywhere. it can be anywhere.

i want love to be one of my motivations, to be one of those things i carry with me anywhere i go, something i can share cause everyone can use some love regardless of everything.

i discovered love in a strange way. not through a relationship or my family. but through internet and not by having a relationship online.

it came out of no where, this manga i saw and read without knowing anything about it and it made me sick to my stomach cause it was claimed to be about love but there was no love in it. it all felt forced and that's when i started developing my thought about love, of any kind, and when i understood what love might be for me.

after that, love drove me through my lowest moments, helped me back up again and it showed me my passions. even if they changed with time, everything i did or picked up as an hobby was made with the intention to love.

and this brings me to the last one (at least for this post)...

writing

i write of love and i love writing.

it literally saved since when i was down really bad, i could only write. and i wrote endlessly, i still have some of the things i wrote years ago, the sorrow and pain and agony in those sheets of paper reminds me who i was and how far I've come. and all thanks to writing.

now i write fanfics about love, i pour as much love as i can in my pieces and i try my hardest to leave a lesson in my works (despite the fact i haven't post a single one yet). i started writing fanfics when i wanted love to be tangible in my own way, i started being a fanfic writer when i was touched so deeply by some characters' love (without even being canon) that i couldn't comprehend the cruelty behind taking away something so beautiful from the narration. (or life, if you want).

the day i started writing was when i set down my goal in life: to show love is possible. whether it might be through fanfics, poems, letters, messages, quotes or book dedications (cause the fic I'm working on rn is dedicated to someone really meaningful to me).

and it all started when i was around 7 or 8 and ever since then, I've been writing for a decade now and I'm still going strong on it. it's my way of being, of showing love and understanding, it's my way of be alive despite everything, is my way of fighting.

and anytime someone close to me mention how they'd like to start to write, i cheer them up as much as possible, and when they have doubts and maybe we are having lunch somewhere and they ask me 'hey how do you do it without stressing yourself?' or something similiar i pour my heart out to tell them writing is always about writing for yourself.

i discovered writing paragraphs and poems because i was becoming mute (not like medically speaking, i just never talked) and i needed to get it out and talking with my voice about it only made me feel less and less, like i was tearing away pieces from myself simply because people could be aware of me if i spoke about myself. I didn’t want people to know me, i wanted them to ignore me.

so i wrote.

i kept writing. from my thoughts to little stories, to poems and messages, and finally to fanfics. i kept writing everything down, i write myself down so I'm tangible in a way that doesn't tear anything away from me.

i became tangible in a way where it doesn't matter if I'm a male or a female, if I'm old or young, if I'm this or that.

i made myself tangible and memorable, something you can comprehend and live, something you can notice and not ignore.

I hated and still hate being tangible in the way of a woman. I'm tangible because people can touch me and i hate it, so i wrote. and that's my way of being tangible, without letting people take away anything from, without having them touching me.

and this is all in my writings, in my poems and my fanfics this things always come up somehow, maybe subtly or maybe not but they are always there cause i write for myself. i write to have something to leave behing in this life. i write to be tangible even in the future. i write so maybe someone else will write too and be tangible just the same way. i write to inspire and teach, to myself and others.

i write to be. i write about love.

so...

yeah this is pretty much it, i hope i made justice to the ask somehow and i hope the part about meritocracy wasn't too boring or like a rant (cause i swear it gets animated whenever its brought up and my bestie keeps me shut before i scream at teachers to fo their job, anyway!)

hope it was of your liking and im glad i have a chance to answer this as well. wish you an amazing day and hope your writing journey is lovely and filled with passion! and remember, before anyone else, always write for your own enjoyment and according to your tastes and likings!🫂🩵

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI HI HI IM IN UR INBOX :]]]] nothing in particular to say just hiii how was yr dayyy i hope it was good ^__^ also. blank check for u to talk abt evildead ive been thinking abt them so so so much today..... emo kids union..... if u can talk abt post s2 without spoilers. ive been particularly thinking abt their dynamic immediately post s2/post trickster & whatever crazy wiwi shit happens.....👀👀👀

OH FUCK WHO PUT THIS HOLE IN MY WALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hiiiiiiiii i am !! good. thank guns its friday or however that tubbobot post goes. im on my weekend and i have NO PLANS which means NOBODY is expecting anything of me for two whole days i can do whatever i want. fuck yeah. im vaguely watching pro wrestling event rn to keep up with my dads texts (he gets rly excited abt pro wrestling and its become a bonding experience from us bc my mom and brother do not put up with it) so like. watching sweaty guys beat each other up on live tv. cool . awesome. OH WAIT ALSO SPEAKING OF KITTIES. NEW KITTEN PICS FROM MY MOM HOT OFF THE PRESSES.

anywayyyyyyyy evildead... god.... theyre like alec and aisha to me (only sayign this bc theyre fresh in my mind). not necessarily romantic not necessarily platonic but a secret third thing. weird ass freaky emo kids that are kind of scary to anyone from an outside POV but are in reality deeply traumatized by their respective creepy aspects (ghost and demon). they areeeee so similar in so many ways but also couldnt be more different. but they understand each other better than any of the others could. going off of that thing about horror movies i posted earlier i think they give each other the worlds most misguided attempt at fucked up exposure therapy by watching the horror movies they dont like together. and it never ends well but they keep doing it and its like. a weird proabably unhealthy bonding experience. they go to concerts together this is so important to me. and its a lot and its overwhelming and sometimes they have to leave early because the loud noises and crowds are too much but they each have their little signals where the other can be like "ok lets get out of here" and they still have so much fun. and maybe they have to cry on the sidewalk outside in the cold before they either go back inside or give up and leave but they still have fun regardless. theyre messy and weird and freaks and they talk about things that would probably give other people nightmares but theyre so chill about it. i cant say much more abt specifics yet but . they have conversations like "do you wanna know what it felt like" (<< william referring to getting cut in half) and "i know its not real but i can still hear his voice in my head sometimes" (<< ashe referring to the trickster) and those conversations will come out of left field while theyre doing something completely unrelated but they always talk about it . i think they hurt each other more than they mean to but theyre inseparable regardless. "i know what raw meat tastes like now" vs "one time i found maggots under my skin" . i have really specific and unhealthy thoughts about evildead in my mind all the time.

[elliekillsu]

hi! so im 14, and so is my gf (im trans male, shes a trans girl). i have literally searched like a million things for trans girl experiences and ur blog came up so i was wondering how do i make her feel better abt herself? because recently she posted about not feeling femme enough and stuff and she keepssending rlly sad messages then being like "oh i was js dysphoric ignore me" or wtv.

i want to make her happy but idk how bc ive never liked being a girl (obv) so idk what to say to make her feel more like the girl she is. she is post social transition, only my parents, her parents, and our best friend know, so she isnt able to go oout in things w/o feeling insecure and stuff

i let her wear some of my old clothes (dresses and skirts and crop tops and stuff) but idk how much its rlly doing for her

sry if this was long u dont have to answer lol

have a good day/night! <33

Hii! I'm always happy to help someone out, I wanna start with like the 'bad news' just to get it out of the way, you've both found out you're trans around the same time I did which is great I'm proud of you both, but that being said you're both young, I know it's said a lot and it sucks to hear but you have so much time left, I found out about my own identity pre covid and didn't start presenting until end of 2022, and didn't fully socially transition with my family until last year, my point being it is a long stressful journey and it may take time and it will be hard but it's absolutely nothing compared to how long you'll live as yourself. Now I don't know any way to make her feel less dysphoric overall, its something we're stuck with but the obvious can help, routine shaving even just facially really works well, but I would definitely say maybe try do her makeup for her, teach her how or even just buy/give her some stuff to use if she hasn't been trying that already, even a few moments for the first time can help so much. If you can afford it trying out thrift stores or charity shops to find a low cost variety of clothing for her to keep away for herself.

There's no necessarily perfect way to fix dysphoria forever, god knows I still suffer but here i sit titless, unshaven and built and I'm still the happiest I've been in years, it does get better, you hear it over and over it loses its meaning but it will get better I can promise you both that, if I could see myself now when I was your age I would be so fucking happy and I still cant believe any of this is happening, I can promise she'll have the best days of her life but also the worst, its a long journey she's just begun, she isn't alone as long as you're there, along with me and every other one of our siblings. We are all one and we love you <3

I hope this has helped even a little

[mangoposts]

OKAY im finally alone so TW for anyone reading this, i will be mentioning rape & knives/scars.

i'll try to make this short but the summer before i went into 10th grade, i had hung out w this guy and i really did just wanna hang out and go for a drive, but he thought i wanted to hook up. i definitely did not because i was a virgin and never done anything with a guy at all. he was a senior and a lot bigger than me and forced me into having sex w him, i kept saying no and stop and take me home but he just kept getting angrier and eventually held a knife to my like pubic bone? pelvis? just down there idk. so i caved. i hated every second and cried but i stopped fighting. i haven't had sex since then, im 20 years old now and i haven't even been fingered by a guy, never given or received head, and never given a handjob. and im honestly really embarrassed about it and wanna have sex with someone SO BADLY but im scared.

the main reason i'm scared isn't because i'm scared i'll be forced into it again, although that is absolutely in the back of my mind. i'm completely fine now and over the situation, but it does worry me that i could get overwhelmed and the guy im with wouldn't wanna stop. but my bigger fear which im 100x more embarrassed of, is what a guy is gonna think when he sees my pussy. now hear me out bc i know that sounds weird😭 but all throughout high school i always heard guys make comments about how ugly this girls pussy is or how gross this girls is and it terrified me. but now i'm even more scared because of what that guy did to me, he literally cut into my skin and left scars. what is a guy gonna think when he sees that? how am i supposed to explain all this? i just i have a lot of questions and concerns but i'm a fucking 20 year old "virgin" if i can even call myself that, i've technically had sex but i didn't want it so idk if i even count that as a body. i just have been panicking over this for forever and have no idea what to do, if you have any advice at all i'd really appreciate it so so much

- 🌙

Oh baby :-(. Im so sorry this happened to you. You were really young and you didn’t deserve that whatsoever, if you can feel it im giving you a hug thru the phone. Im so so so sorry and i hope that man is dead in a ditch somewhere 🤍

On the other hand, i promise you you have nothing to worry about at all. Im telling you rn and i know it sounds so corny and lame and everybody always says this but its true, the right person is not going to judge you for anything and im so Fr when i say that. Trust when i was in high school guys would say all kinda stupid shit like that about girls in the school and it never bothered me because i knew there was at least one person out there who wouldn’t care about anything other people would talk shit about, and i was right 🤷🏻‍♀️ There’s so many people out there who would find u beautiful the way u are and just because some guys in the past thought in that immature goofy ass way doesn’t mean every guy will you know what i mean?

Babe, my only advice for you is to stay the way you are, hang out w ur frennies and the right person is gon come trust. It’ll come when you aren’t looking for it or worrying about it, when you least expect it to be honest. What you went through was horrible and it might be the worlds way of saying you gotta give yourself time before exploring that area of your life yanno. There’s NOTHINGGG wrong with being a virgin at any age let alone 20. You’re still young and you have ur whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about this, when it happens it’s gonna be fine you’ll see it

Thank you so much for trusting me to be vulnerable with, im sorry if im treating you too delicately im just speaking thru the soul rn 😭 And again im sorry this happened to you. Even if i dont know u i love u a lot and im proud of you for moving past the situation despite how hard it might’ve been

Also im sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, i just scrolled through my inbox and finally found this

[nahalism]

I really struggle to move on and let go of old feelings and honestly the only thing I've found that actually really helps me is redirecting the source of the emotion. Like instead of continuing to be upset with a person, being upset that the situation happened— if that makes sense. It's easier to deconstruct it that way down the road when I'm actually ready to take something from it and leave the emotion behind

<333333

i hear you. honestly, i find myself in a place where im able to do that (i draw or write and am able to get out of the trapped, claustrophobic feeling that not getting over the past brings) but the moment i stop drawing or doing something to metabolise those feelings im a restless wreck. & so im left w the feeling that the things i struggle to accept/get over are things i have to actively address and face to get past, and that anything less is avoidance (which is something ive been very good at and no longer want to be good at). switching my focus is one thing, cause i can do that all the time, but channeling the emotion doesnt feel the same cause it seems to have no end? its not like having too much energy for the day then going for a run that tides you over till you have too much energy again the next day, so run again. its more like a hamster wheel. like feeling rage or sadness and just needing to run forever. and i dont wanna run forever. i also dont wanna watch the pain forever trying to decipher it in some kind of masochistic yet hopeful spiral.

so yeah rn im doing just as u say lol. i find some other outlet because when i look back on how i spend my days its better to 'run' than to b paralysed in the feeling & have nothing to show for how i spent a day in my life. at the same time, running is a response. and i want sovereignty, so there has to be some other way

[lov u for sending this. have a beautiful day]

[caseythebunnyboy]

Hi, I hope you're doing well when you see this! Just wanted to say thank you for existing haha. I found your blog when you just started and it was sort of an interesting thing. I'd really really started questioning and recognizing things about myself a few months before and your blog just popped up on my feed one day. I never followed until just now, I kinda just lurked and came back every few days or so (this literally sounds so creepy im so sorry) and each time i saw your posts I'd be like "damn well we think the same". I'm also poc too and I don't see many poc trans guys so you're sort of a role model. I'm not able to get any sort of gender affirming items or care so I kinda just live vicariously through your posts haha. Still figuring myself out but your blog has been very helpful for me, so thank you!

hello, anon! i also hope youre doing well, and thank you! 💜💜 the fact that youve been here since the beginning and ive made such an impression that you still stayed means alot to me. nothing wrong with questioning yourself either, if i helped you in any capacity to find who you are, or helped make you feel more comfortable with yourself then thats extremely touching. cant believe a blog i originally made just to horny post is actually helping people, but im happy about that! definitely not complaining! 🐇

(rest under the cut! have a lot to say but taking up dashboard space makes me nervous)

its not creepy at all, actually! ive noticed a pattern of some of my anons sending me an ask, saying theyre sorry if they come off as creepy, when nothing in their ask even made me slightly uncomfortable. i thank you for being considerate of my feelings, but i assure you i dont find you creepy, no need to worry about that! 💜 side note, being relatable to other people is actually something i find great joy in, because it lets me know im not alone in how i think and act! it gives me comfort 😊

and that poc part hit me pretty hard. i rarely ever see other queer poc, which genuinely does make me feel isolated in the community sometimes, knowing im not white like a majority of other queer people are. its hard, especially when youre not exactly the most common type of poc either. i had almost no other people to look up to that were also like me, so it truly does mean alot that i can be the person other poc look up to instead. for that, i thank you.

if it makes you feel any better, im pre-everything! the country i currently live in has almost no gender affirming care, mainly because my country is LARGELY religious. luckily, there is a high chance ill be moving out soon to a place with better access to trans healthcare, which makes me excited! but if that comforts you that ive also had no medical treatmemts yet, then yay! another thing we have in common hehe 💜

nothing wrong with still trying to untangle things either, im so glad i could help in any capacity, and if you have any questions then please feel free to send me another ask! 😊 i also wouldnt mind you becoming one of my emoji anons, id really like that, actually! so, if you wanna be one, then id love to reserve an emoji for you 💜 thats all, i hope you have a great day, and that maybe ill hear back from you! 💜

[showponyyy]

show pony! goes to bean town

Pasta Palace (Boston, MA) 10/25/2024

live laugh love the rick west trio.

i love discovering a new indie artist and making it your whole personality and spreading the good word to your friends and listening until you know every word and thinking to yourself bruhhhh how is this person not famous??? and the superiority complex that comes with thinking u found them first. yes oh yes!

well, that happened to me recently with an artist named rick west.

initially, i was attracted to his visuals (i'm a sucker for cool visuals), and then i listened to the music and woweeeeee. rick is a nashville based artist (furthering my love of all the music i'm hearing coming out the nashville scene). the song that got me hooked was one of the singles off his latest album, "genuis" called "6-pack." it's easy breezy indie twang. makes me wanna sit on a porch and sip a lil sumn reeeeeal slow.

so, imagine my surprise when my good friend chanler texted me one morning and asked if i would be interested in opening for one of his new signees (to his label happen twice) in boston...rick mf west.

i was elated (probably too elated) and eagerly agreed despite working out none of the logistics of getting myself to boston in a weeks notice. but the day arrived and despite my efforts to organize a band and a ride to brighton i ended up braving it alone to do my least favorite thing: play a solo set.

i have been working on my relationship to playing alone mostly because i fear nothing more than being another girl with an acoustic guitar. no shame to girls with acoustic guitars i love yall fr. i just dont feel it accurately represents me or my music.

so, i packed up my tote bag and mia's nylon guitar (we've named him mj) and my secret weapon: my chroma console.

now, i have used this pedal a handful of times but only to record with, never for a live performance. i know it's made to be used live but it's a very powerful pedal and i just hadn't sat down and taken the time to learn how to use it in this capacity. but, i had a 5 hours flix bus ride from midtown to south station to figure it out. and figure it out i did(ish).

besides watching youtube videos on the chroma console and taking notes like i was studying for a test my other bus activity was hand embroidering a pair of undermer (my merch) for a sweet girl i met on the internet who happens to live in boston and dmed me that she would be at the show and needed a pair of my (soon-to-be) famous undermer. it's silly moments like these that i view success as scalable.

i am success i am success i am success

i arrived at the venue (storm shelter turned diy concert space) and my friend elaine realized why it was called pasta palace. "oh, i've seen this place on tik tok, they sell pasta out of their window to the people of boston and it's gone viral." awesome vibe.

highlights of the show:

- they had a projector and let me play whatever i wanted during my set, so i obviously played family guy highlights

- chroma console success! it added a lot to my set actually in a way that made me just feel more confident that it was enjoyable for people to engage with rather than sort of lock out to the famiilar sounds of acoustic guitar and voice.

- rick west trio just as good as i would have hoped

- rick played with jonathan on stage (a huge show pony honor)

- jane don't (the other band on the bill) was mesmerizing yalllll

- got to make new friends & see old ones

- i started healing my relationship with playing solo

- i tried out a new cover (you are every girl to me by mj lenderman) and it was lit as hell. will be adding to the set.

- had a crazy mid-show discourse with someone where i mentioned i live in brooklyn and they shouted "fuck new york" to which i responded "oh, word? let's open that up and have a discussion, please defend ur statement" and they really gagged me when they said "new york is a spiritual wasteland" ...... ohhh ok got it got it got it so anyway this next song is called...

- got to trade some merch with mr rick! yay!

overall, such a great experience, such a special show. i would be remiss to take small diy shows like this one for granted. there's an energy and a care in spaces where people chose to show up and spend $15 to take a chance on a artist they don't know. even if they are there to see a friend play but stay for my set or come early for my set etc. i value trying new songs in these settings and getting to talk and joke up on the stage and look people in the eyes and go out into the crowd after and dance with strangers and have brief encounters that may never be more than this moment. simple joys.

i love u bean town! i love u pasta palace! i love u rick west u genuis!

xo,

mer

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