#i hope my bias is clear to the point where it's funny

[quert-ii]

sociology is political science for gay ppl

poli sci is sociology for annoying ppl

criminal justice is sociology for narcs

anthropology is sociology for gayer ppl

economics is poli sci for boring ppl

philosophy is poli sci for pussies

i DO make the rules here

[moony-2001]

The real-world impact of Lore Olympus

i.e. do your research Rachel

Trigger warning: racism, fetishization, appropriation, mentions of SA

Long post ahead

A while ago, someone told me that Lore Olympus was just a silly little comic written out of boredom. That it was made to be "funny". They told me that "[I] can't hope [for] an extremely [well-written] story when it was just made with the intention to make something goofy" and that if Rachel actually wanted to make something serious like I had, she would write a book and not a comic.

At the time of this exchange, it was past 1 a.m. and I was exhausted. I did not want to argue with this person and it simply wasn't worth my time or energy in the moment.

But looking back at that (mostly one-sided) interaction, I can't help but think that there is so much wrong with that point of view. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion about Lore Olympus, whether good or bad. But Lore Olympus isn't just some silly little nothing comic about nothing important. It is a comic that actively appropriates and erases Greek Culture. It is a comic that has no respect for the actual stories that have been passed down over thousands of years whether by word of mouth or written text. It is a comic that perpetuates a false narrative and harmful stereotypes about characters or certain groups of people. So, no, it's not just a silly little comic.

Incorrect information

Here’s an example of what I mean:

When I was doing research for my post about the 10 year time skip, I looked up Leuce to reconfirm the little information I knew about her. Wanna guess the first thing that popped up about her?

A Lore Olympus Wiki article.

Okay. How about Minthe? Hundreds of pictures of her from Lore Olympus and a LO Wiki article as one of the top 3 results. Both character are horribly represented in LO and unfortunately there isn’t really any documented stories or records that can refute how LO paints them. Because of this, other characters in Greek Mythology like Leuce and Minthe, whose stories have little to no documentation, stand to suffer the most harm from deliberate misrepresentation on Rachel’s part.

Of course well-known and better documented figures in Greek mythology face slander as well. What about Thetis or Leto? How about Apollo? All of their portrayals in LO are HORRIBLE. I have seen people online absolutely drag them to filth not because they're upset about how the character is portrayed compared to their mythological counterpart, but because they have no knowledge of how they are actually portrayed outside of LO. They just assume that's how the characters are. Similarly, people who have either very little or no prior knowledge of Greek Mythology and Culture would look at the comic and go "Yep, sounds legit. It must be true." and go about thinking that what is portrayed in LO is accurate to what was transcribed thousands of years ago.

Creative interpretations and racism/fetishization within LO

Don’t get me wrong. Creative interpretations and artistic liberties can be great. When they’re done tastefully. I personally think if done correctly, a Greek myth spun in a modern way has the potential be very good. But that's not what we were given.

Characters like Minthe, Leuce, and Thetis (all nymphs btw) are portrayed as trashy tramps who put out and are used as a foil sabotage Persephone and/or her relationship with Hades. Compare that to Greek Mythology where in the Iliad, Thetis is very well-respected by the gods, particularly Hera. Unfortunately, other similar characters like satrys (and basically any character that isn’t a god) are usually portrayed as a low-class POC that can be easily exploited, manipulated, or used as a temporary villain/lover/pawn to “get back” at Persephone, our white-coded protagonist who can do no wrong.

Additionally, there is a clear race/class bias against characters like nymphs in LO. We see many cases scattered throughout the comic of gods like Hera or Aphrodite referring to nymphs as "trash" or "low class" or the idea that nymphs do not belong with gods being heavily implied if not outright said. I cannot tell you how often I've seen Minthe be called some variant of "cheap" by the readers of LO. Even Persephone (who created the flower nymphs) treats them with such disrespect. She frequently calls them some variant of "stupid" or "simple" like saying how they're not the sharpest crayons in the box even though she's the one WHO MADE THEM. However, it's so odd not really to note that nymphs like Echo, Amphitrite, or Psyche (who was previously disguised as a nymph) are not discriminated against. This is because they are liked or trusted by the gods they are around and ergo are often portrayed as the "good ones", which is a disgusting mindset to have.

We also see the fetishization of nymphs in the comic that is disturbingly similar to the fetishization of women who are Black, Asian, or Latina. It is a known fact that Hades has a flower nymph fetish. Not only is this implied in the comic, but Rachel stated it outright in an old Patreon post. Nymphs are also generally treated as sex-symbols, disposable, and as a lesser-than. Zeus frequently displays this behavior by abandoning nymphs he knocked up in the mortal realm.

For example, when Persephone finds out Apollo is dating Daphne, she isn't upset he's dating her friend. She's upset he's dating a flower nymph, beings that are generally considered to be "rare", "dumb", and objects of sexual desire. Ew.

Even on the Lore Olympus website (loreolympians.com) nymphs are regarded as "beautiful", "desirable", and "very exotic". And when they're not described in a sexual manner they're say it with me now regarded as "low class" or "workers" for some kind of god/goddess.

Final thoughts

So not only is the characterization of characters like Minthe or Thetis harmful to Greek culture and the stories that are so ingrained in their society, but it is also perpetuating harmful stereotypes about people of color and women who are confident in their sexuality.

Of course, the characters within Greek Mythology had their own issues. Zeus was a serial rapist, many of the goddesses deemed to be "feminist" by today's standards were actually horribly misogynistic looking at you Athena. But 1. that's just how things were back then (but that does not make it right) and 2. all of the good, the bad, and the ugly is still there in Greek Mythology. They're not denying how fucked up it is, but they're also not changing their history to better fit their own narrative or the narrative of the modern world. It exists, it happened, but now it is studied and called out by historians.

Rachel, on the other hand, is doing exactly that. She is actively changing the Greek's cultural history to better fit her fic's narrative. She is constantly sweeping things under the rug or going "No this is how it ACTUALLY happened". Lore Olympus is marketed as a "feminist retelling" yet somehow, it takes allllll the ugly parts from Greek Mythology (rape, incest, problematic age gaps, dubious consent, etc.), mixes it with a majority of the issues we have in the modern world (white feminism, rape-apologists/rape culture, grooming, fetishization of certain minority groups, etc.) and then amplifies the concoction to 20. Lore Olympus cannot be a "progressive, feminist, retelling" and also have characters that are morally apprehensive/come straight from the ancient myths. It does not work. In fact, IMO it makes all the problems from both eras worse.

News flash: actual cultures that are still thriving today are not your toys. They are not "made up". They matter. Do better.

[charles-leclerc-official]

I get you about the DTS Singapore episode, but I also want to share some other thoughts: I'm sure to some degree they will bias it towards Carlos doing an 'amazing' job because he ended up winning and for non-f1 fans who don't know the drivers well I guess it works for the drama to show someone winning in between Max's domination.

However, in the last season DTS actually did really well to show behind the scenes bits of RB talking about how Ferrari were fucking over Charles and how Charles should be the priority, and in the Silverstone episode they made a point of showing that Charles got screwed over and Ted saying 'What a day for Ferrari, but they won with the wrong car.'

I think the DTS producers do care about and support Charles. And the producers have said that they look for certain drivers to be the 'face' of the show. Mainly they mean having someone charismatic and funny like Daniel was, for marketing purposes, but of course thinking of the storyline and the drama of the show, it makes more sense to focus more on the drivers who will have a good arc, i.e. might win a championship one day. I definitely think they are following Charles more for that, because they can see he has more 'potential' for interesting content for the show than other drivers.

Like remember Netflix supposedly filming Charles ice climbing last January? We might see that clip in this upcoming season. They definitely seem to care a bit more about Charles. I expect there will be some clips showing the positives to Charles' year.

You are absolutely right. I do agree that if it's a Ferrari based episode then there is a lot more room for nuance(it will still hurt me personally)

Given the fact it's been clear the Ferrari are making Charles the future I'm sure you're right that DTS want to follow him as the main thread for the Ferrari narrative.

However I see so many people misinterpret that race from a Ferrari, RB, Merc and even a Mclaren perspective. There were so many fuck ups, and weird stars aligning. My worry is that any nuance will be sacrificed to make it more dramatic for the newer fans that the show is bringing in. Especially since that was such a big complaint about this last year, that the sport got "boring" (which I completely disagree, if watching Max make F1 history is boring then we are all truly lost as a sport) So I can easily see them make it a mid season episode to give the idea that Red Bull struggled more than they did? I don't trust DTS not to pull something like that.

I would also be okay with an episode focusing on the behind the scenes at Red Bull and more info about why that race was the odd one out, where they struggled etc. Like give me Christian and the team frustrated and Max's feedback about what's off about this race.

But given that the large narrative is going to be Red Bull domination and Max's insane season, I fear they may fall into the trap of overplaying the only non-RB win.

It has the potential to be a great episode because it's actually a VERY interesting race from an analytical standpoint, but I just see people run the wrong direction with it all the time.

I am hoping that we are going to see them laying the groundwork for Charles and building towards the next steps for Ferrari this season.

I will say as much as I am dreading Singapore, I am jumping up and down for Vegas because I know they are going to talk about it and hype Charles up(overtake of the year, and one of the most positively reviewed races as far as fans being excited about the actual racing)

[thelioncourts]

hi!! how do you think they show is gonna portray armandstat? i’m so curious about them and also nicki,i guess we’ll see some louis/nicki parallels but idk,seeing amc is already promoting armandstat i guess they are gonna be big,s3 can’t come soon enough!!!!

I'm probably not the right person to ask about armandstat, I don't like them lol but ! trying to put aside any of my personal feelings/bias/etc. I don't think armandstat is going to be as big of a thing as some people seem to think it will. I could be wrong, of course, but I'm one of the people in the 'armand was lying about most of 2x3' court so.

and to clarify all of this, my thoughts on 2x3 being a lie aren't rooted in questions of lestat's attraction to armand or anything, they're rooted in several other things, namely that 1) the complete omission of gabrielle is extremely telling (and funny) 2) the change from book-to-show regarding lestat's involvement in the theatre is something I'm very much questioning 3) the true appeal of armandstat in the books is that they can't and they won't.

(1) the complete omission of gabrielle is telling to me because if you read through tvl, gabrielle is present for, like, all of the interactions between lestat and armand. and while lestat and armand definitely have their own thing going on, armand just as badly wants gabrielle to love and accept him. so her lack of presence just has me going ??? armand. none of this is real, is it?

(2) truly my biggest 'past' question as soon as 2x3 aired was why did they make lestat a true founder of the theatre? because in the book, lestat is not happy with, nor the mind behind, the theatre des vampires at all. nicki is the main voice behind its creation, and lestat calls nicki petty for it. he gives nicki (and the theatre itself) money out of this obligation and guilt he feels, but he does it at the point where he and nicki hate one another and are ready to say their goodbyes for good. so I think this 'lestat was the main creator behind the theatre' is, at the very least, an embellishment that will be cleared up this season.

(3) truly, at its core, armandstat is interesting because they can't and won't. if they do, it loses, like, 99.9369% of its interest. I've said it a lot before, but I get angry when people try to simplify loumand into being 'armand only loves louis because of lestat' when that's not true at all; armand loves a handful of people and he loves them with his entire soul and existence. armand loves louis, and he loves louis for louis; armand loves daniel, and he loves daniel for daniel; armand loves lestat, and he loves lestat for lestat; armand loves marius, and he loves marius because he had no other choice but to love him. I think people do forget that lestat looks a lot like marius and wears red like marius, and so when armand saw him the first time he associated lestat with marius. this isn't a 'lestat is like marius' conversation, but that the association of the two impacted armand soooo much, especially because lestat was the first person armand really does this 'falling in love with' after being taken away from marius. and, like marius, lestat changed armand's worldview on things with his overpowering personality, his confidence, his ideals. and I think we will see that, but I think we'll also see how lestat immediately clocks armand for what he is, and tells him "We (Lestat and Gabrielle) cannot be Marius for you,' I said, 'or the dark lord, Santino. We are not artists with a great vision that will carry you forward. And we are not evil coven masters with the conviction to condemn a legion to perdition. And this domination - this glorious mandate - is what you must have. (TVL, p. 272)" like lestat knows he cannot ever be with armand. he knows that in his heart. and I think that's so important to them as characters, and I do hope the show goes through with that tbh.

so yeah! those are my armandstat thoughts lol I think we will see their complexities a lot, I think we will see armand desperate for lestat, but I think the truth of it is not quiteeeee what a lot of people are hoping for/thinking

also, I don't think we're going to see a ton of nicki/louis parallels. there really aren't even that many in the book, they're both just sad (but different kinds of sad) and I think the importance of nicki in the show will be to set a framework as to why lestat himself withheld in a certain kind of way in his relationship with louis, and how that was part of their damnation. :)

[lemonhemlock]

Honestly I think I hate Cersei because she thinks she is some mastermind while she isn’t. Tywin and how he keep holding power for so long is very interesting, btw I love Tywin and Kevan dynamics. Jaime is my fave i just love his storyline. As for Tyrion, there are 2 of them. The book one and the show one. Show one I hate. Book one I kinda enjoy because he constantly flirts with darkness. I don’t buy show Tyrion poor misunderstood meow meow. And I hate that they did the same with show Aemond. That’s why I prefer Aegon and Daemon. From the beginning you know where they stand, there are no attempts to make them sympathetic bullshit. Stop whitewashing characters in order to make characters more sympathising for audience. The reason why the Joker, Soprano Family and Roy family from Succession are so great is because they aren’t portrayed as some poor people being victims of their circumstances all their life. Aemond wanting to console Jace at Driftmark? What the fuck is that? Also giving him sexual trauma made me laugh. The show made it clear I and everyone else is meant to feel sorry for him but I just laughed at how pathetic they are. Like you have weak Viserys, pedo Daemon, rapist and drunkard Aegon and traumatised and with only one eye Aemond. So yeah, the winner of who should be the fan favourite is clear. Instead of showing the 4 of them as bad and letting people choose who their favourite is, they create 3 of them in unsympathetic light and make one of them #1 victim and the other 3 as monsters or weak men. Sorry but I hate the narrative where I am being shown down my throat who I am supposed to love and who to hate. Especially if 3 out of 4 characters are doing terrible things and only one behaves properly until starting the war. I really can’t wait for Aemond to burn Riverlands, most stans would leave his fanclub and began to see Aegon is not the worst guy out there. I just hope TGC won’t stop playing Aegon until the moment Aemond will show everyone what a legit psycho he really is.

idk what to tell you, anon, this is not exactly the blog for cersei haters. i've always found this prevailing tendency of enjoying jaime as a character but disliking cersei to be very strange, bc their POVs are so intertwined and they are as delusional & "awful" as the other so i don't really see the point here. it's a choice i would personally interrogate bc more often than not it has some v unsavory roots. cersei can be just as funny as jaime and he can be just as unhinged as her. also cersei's dumbness is greatly exaggerated, she does have some good ideas and a knack for getting out of tricky situations (some of them of her own making, yes, but she's hardly the idiot fandom likes to paint her as). fans sure love to think they would have made better decisions had they been in her situation.

she also suffers from getting a POV so late in the game, in comparison to her brothers, and is way more affected psychologically by the death of her son than jaime is + the prophecy hanging over her head. she's basically having the worst mental health crisis in AFFC and getting judged for not being Machiavelli's Prince

as for the rest of the message, as i've said in a previous post, i see this desire to not allow characters to be anything other than cardboard villains very reductive and not smth i'm personally interested in fiction. narrative bias and needless demonisation at the expense of others is one thing, but, generally-speaking, why is it somehow superior if they only receive dark traits instead of being humanized & muddled? why is it better writing if aemond is only shown as a psycho killing machine? are the literature gods going to get angry if he tries to be polite one time? the roy siblings weren't coddled by the narrative but they were also shown acting like human beings (clumsily) trying to connect with people

also no actor is going to turn down hbo money and the opportunity to appear in one of the most viewed shows of the year, so i don't see why tgc would stop playing aegon, unless he were fired. these people are professional actors, they may not like or agree with certain character choices but they don't have the luxury of turning down jobs bc of their character is not "true to the text". they still have bills to pay.

[bawbio]

My Media Thread

Ok so before i get started i just want to say that i'm gonna be doing recommendations vs giving things an x/10 score like on my twitter media thread since the scores i gave were honestly arbitrary and a recommendation would give a much more clear view on how i feel about a game. Down below are the categories this thread will be using Don't recommend/Don't play it (Whichever one my brain remembers in this category at the time of writing) - I personally think no one should be subjected to playing this game and i would highly recommend not engaging with it at all costs like not even as a joke

Play at your own risk - I personally wouldn't seriously recommend this game to someone but if you want to give it a try go for it it could be really funny who knows

Maybe - This one will mainly be used for if i recommend the game but i think it's definitely not for everyone whether it be for difficulty or for potentially triggers in the game or even just some really weird shit

Recommend - I recommend this game wholeheartedly and would gladly suggest it to pretty much anyone

MUST PLAY - PLAY THIS GAME IMMEDAITELY RIGHT NOW

Oh and one final thing i'll be using the tag #beeb's media thread for this whole thread idk if you can mute tags or anything but if you can you can use it to mute this whole thread

So i guess without further ado i'll be starting my media thread here with danganronpa trigger happy havoc, So the first danganronpa game sure is an experience that's for sure and my opinion on the series has changed a LOT since i first played through the series and wrote my original media thread posts so i guess i'll just say this now. I don't like danganronpa as much as i did back then since my recency bias for the series went away ages ago and i've had plenty of time to look over the series retrospectively but the first game still has some pretty fun stuff. The whole mystery of why they're all in hope's peak i'd still say is pretty cool and hope's peak itself is a fantastic killing game setting and gives off a perfect atmosphere for the whole thing. The characters in one are kind of a mixed bag, on one hand you have characters who i think are genuinely pretty solid like sakura (She's probably my favorite character from 1 it's either her chihiro or mondo and maybe hina) and on the other you have whatever the fuck toko (in this game at least UDG helps her out a fair amount) and hifumi are where they honestly really suck just kind of being really annoying/weird most of the time. The chapters in this game are also mostly ok aside from like chapter 3 which is probably the game's lowest point trialwise and chapter 2 for how it handles chihiro (I refuse to get into any chihiro related drama so i won't go really in depth on that here) and just that really chapter 2 is mostly ok otherwise. Chapter 4 was especially nice and is my personal pick for my favorite chapter in the game and chapter 1 while it starts out slow imo has one of the absolute best executions in the trilogy. Thankfully this game also sticks the landing fairly well with its ending and it didn't completely fall flat on its face and seriously fuck up the rest of the game by ending on a sour note (Don't worry danganronpa 2 you're next) Personally i'd give danganronpa trigger happy havoc a...

Maybe - While danganronpa's concept of the killing game is something i unironically think is one of my favorite mechanisms for telling a story with how much cool character shit it can cause the execution the games do with the concept can be uh, less than stellar at times. Also aside from the obvious (violence, blood, and a whole lot of murder) stuff that would lead to me seriously consider giving a game a maybe. The game (and the series in general tbh) has some really weird shit in them like both toko and hifumi are really big offenders in this game and i don't even want to get into the chihiro discourse not to mention the gross shower peeping bonus scene in chapter 3 although that one is completely missable (thankfully) if you didn't get a certain item from the monokuma machine but still regardless all of that is enough for me to give this game a maybe, if you think you can handle the blood, gore, everything else and more in danganronpa i'd honestly say it would be worth picking up and trying the series out.

[fallout-lou-begas]

who would you say is your favorite wrestler? also please keep filling my dash with these big hot women wrestlers thank you

honestly i think it's kris statlander (which means there will be plenty of big hot woman posting). she's not even been medically cleared for in-ring activity the entire time i've started watching AEW but i've been going nuts on youtube and stream sites watching basically every statlander match that i can just because she's so strong and cool and fun and her movement is so expressive and a joy just to watch and her fits are to die for and on top of everything else her technique is just absolutely killer. i think if she so much as looked at me i would explode with a crunchy poor stock explosion effect, for dyke reasons. it's funny because it's like, i miss her but haven't even seen her live on television! i miss her without even knowing her! anguish. agony. i've also been watching a lot of thunder rosa matches just because she's the other really crucial wrestler out on indefinite injury leave and my god she's a blast. goes apeshit. again, just so much fun to watch; like statlander she just has that je ne sais quoi where she could be doing the most basic possible moves in the ring but it's still compelling because she's the one doing them, and she's just got it. this is probably just a form of confirmation bias but digging into the backlogs for these two wrestlers, it really does throw into relief how badly the women's division is limping with all the injuries. but maybe if kris wasn't doing the double-suplexes that made people fall in love with her, her knees wouldn't have exploded so it's like...man.

as far as wrestlers that are Actually Wrestling Right Now: i do love that jamie hayter and she's basically carrying the women's division of AEW singlehandedly on her shoulders rn because the whole outcasts thing is just foul but takes up so much oxygen; mox for his rabid desire to bleed and fluid-bond with every man who enters his field of vision; bandido is a lucha who i've only seen in the ring once, against bryan danielson, but who was AMAZING and i want to see him and his fucking execution-shot gesture running attack over and over; MJF for being literally perfect in every way as a champion heel to the point where i genuinely hope darby, sammy, and jungleboy all fail to take the title because i just think it would be a huge downgrade in entertainment value; samoa joe for being DA KING OF TELEVISION; stu grayson for being apeshit (and dark order in general is always such an entertaining stable); brian cage for being probably the epitome to me of the ferocious kind of Terminator heel who just destroys people, like the motherfucker looks like a miniboss in a batman video game; keith lee is a wrestler that i fell in love with basically immediately when he showed up to diss chris jericho and then i fell in double-love with him in the ring when he gave chris a fuckin polite little kissaroo on the forehead between blows.

honorable mentions go to Wardlow who i hated at first but who has sucked so much that he has endeared me. getting his car broken into. losing the title immediately. my ex-husband pointed out that he's a hired goon without a boss, like a stray cat, and it broke my little heart. the poor guy is acting out! he's troubled! there's also a lot of women wrestlers that i would love to see a lot more of like willow nightingale and nyla rose but either they're all wrestling on friday nights (i only really watch wednesdays) or the outcasts' feud with jamie hayter is really just burying opportunities for Literally Anything Else to happen in the women's division. jade cargill is an absolute beast but she has literally run out of people to fight so i hope taya valkyrie or something finally takes the belt away (as it's looking like) so that jade can do something else beside mulch regional guests. and yeah i think i do like britt baker as a wrestler, the dentist gimmick is good to me, she's good in the ring, and i know the legit feud with thunder rosa is messy and shitty but whatever, i like her matches (including THE hardcore cage match WITH thunder rosa pre-feud). honestly when rosa comes back, maybe they patch things up face-to-face or maybe they don't, but in either case i'm expecting a fucking barnburner of a grudge match that'll make the hardcore cage match look like a kindergarten classroom

[m4x-smashstappen]

Hello! I just wanna say: If you wanna step away from Lestappen, go ahead! :)).

You are far from the first person that has complained about bias in Lestappen, and sadly, you will not be the last; I'm guessing this is because both of them have such commited fanbases? I would like to hear your opinion, if you are in the mood, because it is quite clear you're very frustrated right now.

I had a similar experience with a different rpf pairing, where many fics turned on my ship in the 'last chapter' (or they never really supported my ship from the start; the red flags were there but I crossed my fingers and sailed on anyways) and they always left a very bitter taste in my mouth. It was so clear that these people were fans of the more 'popular' one of the two and always removed the other from the story somehow (made him a depressed a-hole, made him an addict, killed him in the end, the list goes ON). I was a fan of the less 'popular' one of the two, and stopped reading fics and only read fics my friends recommended because of how many fics got on my nerves.

I, to this day, have only read two Lestappen fics, because I am scared of the same sh't happening (because I know there are so many Charles fans that don't really care for Max or Lestappen, or worse, self-insert using Max). It is your decision to step away from Lestappen, I am happy for you, and I hope if you ever wanna be in the community again, you don't end up reading content from people who are so clearly biased. I also hope you kept posting on Tumblr :D.

Regards, from a Max girlie (SORRY for this entire 'Bible' worth of text)

Hi, nony!

First of all, never apologise for sending long asks or any asks at all, you are more than welcome to rant and vent to whatever length you want.

Second, I'm going to be honest with you anon, as much as I go on a tangent about things, some are pretty much set in place and unlikely to change, ever, lestappen is one of them, the genuine mutual respect and clear fondness they have for each other, nony, as long as that is there I will alway love lestappen, even in the darkest lowest point in lestappen's interactions, the famed Austria 2019 or the inchident, it was still there, yes, they were angry with and at the other, but there was still that possessiveness of 'my rival', so yeah, very much still obsessed with lestappen is me.

Though, I will take a big step back from interacting with the lestappen community. It's not the bias in this ship that bothers me that much, it's the fact that the more popular it grows the more people who have no interest in them as drivers start claiming to like lestappen so that they get readers or followers.

I can see how the Charles fans, who are almost like a...I don't know a good word for it but...the best way to explain is this: Charles has always been Ferrari and Ferrari is a religion. I am going to take a short journey to the past (reference very much intended 😆 I think I'm funny, but really, I'm not), Ferrari is the oldest team in F1 and not just F1, Ferrari has been a force in motorsports and a name associated with racing cars since the creation of this brand (watch the movie Ferrari, it explains much better than I could ever why Ferrari is so important for motorsport), coming back to F1 Ferrari is like the royal house, it's not even about them being the most successful team in F1, which they are, and having the most championships, almost double the 2nd team, it's how deeply intertwined Ferrari and Formula 1 are, to the point that there is no Formula 1 without Ferrari (speaking of, the thing that bothers me about new fans is them not looking into history and dismissing just how important Ferrari is to F1, Formula 1 is Ferrari and Ferrari is Formula 1, one should learn from history, but nope, for annoying new fans there is only the now, history is past; idiots). I think you get the picture, Ferrari is big, Ferrari is a religion, Charles being basically raised as Ferrari has a huge, devoted fanbase, so yeah his fans are very committed.

Max, on the other hand, is relatable, real, human, he is not charming, not PR trained (when I say PR trained I mean the actual final result, the careful with what they say, perfectly knowing how to play the media, how to look like a victim, what to say to look favourable, shifting blame without actually doing it, public image oriented etc, not just the PR training all drivers go through, some drivers are more or less sticking to their PR training, but mostly it's PR all way always), he is blunt, what you see is what you get with Max. He is representing a country proud of its athletes and nationalistic, but I don't think it plays any role, at least not in the lestappen dynamics (nor any tbh, there are so many, maybe more than Dutch fans, people who support Max without being from the Netherlands, but we are talking about lestappen here so). Max fans are protective of him mainly due to the immense unjust hate he has been receiving. Since he was so young when he started in F1, his honesty and bluntness weren't chiseled so it got people freely acting like Max is this arrogant pr*ck, also him not revering the Brits and calling them out, calling out the bias in this sport, it pretty much made him the main target, it also didn't help that he is incredible and the full package, talent, hard work and brains, it's so rare to have all 3 in a champion, even less in a driver, so you have the perfect person to hate in Max, envy for how good he is and the tails he steps on due to his bluntness. This made Max fans very protective of him.

So you have the totally devout Charles fans with the fiercely protective Max fans in lestappen.

I don't know if I answered your question how you expected anon, sorry about that. It comes down to why these fanbases are how they are to their favourite drivers. You could say they are committed, but I think it's a bit more complex.

Anyway, the bias in fics is due to the influx of people who are multi-shippers, and multi-drivers fans, which don't care much if at all about lestappen, writing fics about this ship for various reasons, but the one causing most conflict, so to speak, is writing because it brings readers and not actually caring about the pair.

I'm sorry you experienced that, anon. Also it is very bad writing etiquette to not put warnings, no-one gives a f*ck about your 'it spoils the plot', b*tch, it's fan fiction, not an award winning novel, put the d*mn warnings and if you have multiple ships, state which is endgame, for f*cks sake, you are no competing for a literature Nobel prize, show some sympathy to your readers.

But people are greedy and horrible, so my advice, anon, is to wait for the fic to be completed, go straight to the end/last chapter and see who ends up with whom. This way you won't have an unpleasant reading experience.

As you can see, not even the popular ships are safe, and the more popular the ship the more people who only care about having kudos, comments and many views than they ever do about the pair they write.

Funny story, when I first started reading F1 RPF, that was before Charles' pretty face graced F1, I was a multi-shipper and I read all sorts of pairs, but I did like maxiel, it was the puppy love, Max's teenage crush on older cool Daniel, it was cute. That being said, there was a tendency there to diminish Max, Daniel was the greatest and Max always needed to thank all heavens Daniel even looked his way. Anyway, the fic that ended maxiel for me was one where, long story short Max was in love, Daniel acted in love, Max tells him he loves he, Daniel doesn't say it back, Max crashes in the race and dies, Daniel some time laters meets someone else and gets married, whatever, the drop which filled the glass for me, and ended the ship, was Daniel saying at his wedding speech how he never loved Max, he didn't know what love is until he met x person he was marrying, and I was like no, done with this. Then Charles came into the picture and lestappen and I actually got it, I understood what that author meant, ironically. Maxiel was cute, puppy love, crush, but lestappen is equals, fierce, real. For me Daniel and Max as brothers or best friends in fics make so much more sense because of their close bond, even Max had a crush on Daniel and they figured out they work better as friends, that makes sense too. Lestappen is the real deal, endgame.

Moving on because this ask has turned into an encyclopaedia lengths answer 😅

I won't give up on lestappen, I'm way too obsessed with them, unhealthy amounts of obsession, but who care, I'm more the cuddly kind of obsessed anyway.

I was thinking of making a list of lestappen safe ao3 authors, but right now there are only 3 names there, maybe 5 if I stretch a little. I will start on it, but it might take some time to go through the tag.

I will not interact with anyone on tumblr tho, there are too many claiming to like lestappen because they are popular or Max is the current WDC, not to mention the multi-shippers, and I haven't figure out yet which, if there are any, blogs are lestappen.

Anon, I'm such a mess, why would you wish horror upon the max and lestappen tag with my posts 🤣😂

Still, feel free to talk to me anytime, fellow Max girlie (isn't Max so incredible, adorable, talented, smart, cutest lil duklin, delightful, sweet, bold, enchanting, brilliant, fascinating, resourceful, captivating, nicest person, a joy to watch racing, especially in the wet, he is stunning, a beast on track and a kitten outside it, our little meow-meow, the best tho, simply lovely, we have such impeccable taste 🥂)

Thank you for your kind message anon, it made my day reading it 🤗

[fandom-blahs]

What do you think will fix HOTD will Ryan make changes because of the season 2's reception?

(I will try to answer in the least purist way possible, if that even means anything for F&B) Apologies in advance i'm a bit of a yapper.....

Doesn't that largely depend on what Ryan thinks are actual issues?

I know I've been a massive HOTD hater during season 2. I want the show to do well and I want it to succeed but alas I picked up on red flags in season 1, tried to ignore them, but had to accept that they're the bread and butter of the show lol. Now, seeing those same issues reflected in the larger backlash makes me feel vindicated, as what bothered me is clearly part of the bigger picture. Highly doubt it will change because as I said...bread and butter of the show.

What do you think needs fixing anyway? What does "fixing" HOTD mean to you? It definitely means something different to Ryan and Co. than it does to tiktok fans, twitter stans, redditors, and tumblr ASOIAF scholars, casual viewers etc.

The pacing? The lack of interactions? battles? More dragons? Maelor the Missing? The dialogue? "2 women trying to find themselves in war"? Where is my Literally Who character (for me that would be Marston Waters <3) Team Bias? Making GRRM happy? Suddenly condensing the season from 10 to 8 episode? The show getting condensed from 5 to 4 seasons? "historical accuracy"? Queer Baiting? Avoiding another Dany Mad Queen disappointment? Fitting in the prophecy (GRRM's orders). Budget??? and a hundred other things I haven't mentioned.

Idk how much the writing strike affected the show, GRRM himself said that the script for each episode had like...5 drafts/revisions but after GRRM's "toxic butterflies" post errr... ok..

Despite being a massive hater during S2, I don't think the answer is appeasing fans (unless that fan is me ofc lol <3). If you have a lot of time to kill you should try jumping between the echo chambers of each team it's really funny. If you want to inflect mega damage on yourself, go to twitter.

For what it's worth, there are some changes that were good that fans don't bring up while other changes fans didn't like but idk...I really liked :) there aren't many for me and I struggle to reconcile both the show as is and my desire to see an adaptation that reflects the "soul" of GRRM's writing. GOT did that, HOTD did not.

From a show-only perspective, it's clear the creators have a vision— a weak one in my opinion—that diverges from what fans expected from ASOIAF/F&B adaptation. Trying to realign the show with F&B at this point would cause its foundations to crumble making for an overall weaker show. For better or worse, the show has been building its own themes since the beginning—just not the ones fans hoped for. I don't envy Condal at all and actually feel very bad for him especially after S2, he is (was?) a huge GRRM fanboy that's how he landed the position anyway. I still think he's a dumbass based on interviews though.

Anyway the only criticisms he'll respond to are the ones from executives.

Their biggest problem imo is hitting the beats of the story (F&B and their own super cool original idea), introducing plot points and characters arcs, and wrapping everything up in 16 episodes or so while kind of leaving it open for a sequel (which I imagine is mandatory because executives).

[ineffabildaddy]

i see what you're saying here. maybe my tone wasn't clear enough, but that last point i made was intended to be lighthearted. that aside, i understand where you're coming from. i think my frustration partially comes from the fact that so many people dislike aziraphale not because they have thoroughly assessed his actions and character, but because they are unable to suppress their unconscious bias against some of his characteristics (this has to do with his level of attractiveness as understood by fans, among other things; no one owes it to a fictional character to find them attractive, but it's quite hurtful as someone who might look similar to aziraphale to see the derogatory way people often talk about his looks, for example). i have spoken about this in different posts/reblogs before.

crowley is basically perfect fandom fodder: they're a tall, thin, black-wearing, tortured, wise-cracking, sauntering bad girl who's really a good girl. crowley's easier to understand and sympathise with among tumblr users partly because they all think he's hot and cool and funny, and similar to other 'tortured souls' they've grown to love. aziraphale is more complex, and therefore sometimes more difficult to understand, but that doesn't automatically warrant a lack of effort on a fan's part, i think. i find myself being very protective of him and wanting to defend him a lot because of this (and also because he's babygirl let's be real).

to address your point about death of the author etc., i'd suggest looking through the reblogs and replies (you might want to read some of @createserenity's meta posts, too) - the whole point of crowley and aziraphale's relationship is that it is surprisingly human. you are free to dislike aziraphale (and i'm not mentioning crowley here because i have not one seen a fan who truly dislikes him), and it's great that we are a diverse audience and we all have different interpretations of this work... but like many people have pointed out before, you are missing the point somewhat if you truly see aziraphale as some sort of villain. it absolutely doesn't hurt anyone irl, but i don't think i phrased the original post in a way that is harsh or overdramatic.

while i'm perfectly capable of forming my own opinions, i like to at least be aware of what the author intends before i form them. i have a lot of respect for neil and terry, and i don't think either are above criticism - no one is - but i look up to them as creators and i actively seek to understand what they are and were all about. i happen to like what good omens is trying to say to the world, and i'm an advocate for it, so this is why i've said what i said.

i hope you can understand - i'm not genuinely implying that it is materially hurtful 'irl' to dislike either or both of these characters. i agree that consuming media you connect with is a great outlet, as opposed to letting negativity build up. we're all doing that in this fandom, and like i established in the previous post, i acknowledge that it is important to recognise and think about the more negative actions and characteristics of aziraphale and crowley. i just think we should all have a bit of fun with it and take it all in stride and not actually take it all so seriously that we genuinely feel unhealthily vitriolic towards a fictional character. i hope we can agree that that's the bottom line here<3

i'd just like to remind everyone that while it's completely natural to have a favourite between crowley and aziraphale, neil and terry certainly put equal quantities of love into creating both of them, and intended for them both to be liked by us as the audience. we should recognise their character flaws and their mistakes, but it's not ideal to end up disliking one of them so much that the other appears perfect in comparison, because:

a) of the many intended take-aways from their story, coming to the conclusion that aziraphale is undeserving of crowley or vice versa is not one of them. the two people who thought up and wrote those characters with love and care and delight and laughter and a tinge of heartbreak would hope that this was not your overriding belief

and

b) crowley doesn't like anyone who dislikes aziraphale, and aziraphale certainly isn't fond of anyone who dislikes crowley. so if you want to be in their good books, too, bear that in mind

[theoldgvard]

ready for a grossly long thing of me dissecting jayce slander?? because here it is

to make some things clear, im doing this as a little character analysis exercise/ to try and see if i allow myself to stan him because once you get into jayvik it’s hard not to

imma start with a statement: a character can be a good character without being a good person and i hope nobody is debating whether jayce is a good character bc i at least thought it was clear he was a phenomenal character, so complex and multi-faceted he felt tangible, he felt like a real person

now for the things i most often hear people reasoning as to why they hate him (again im trying to offer a logical view, im neutral as of right now)

being with mel while viktor was dying: i mean, i dont see how he can be blamed for this seeing as he didn’t know what was going on with viktor, plus he left mel to go to him and stayed once he found out but sextech is just way too funny not to laugh at

getting rid of heimerdinger: again, maybe this is my jayvik brain’s bias but it seemed apparent to me that heimerdinger being willing to let viktor die if it meant destroying the hexcore/seed thingy was what pushed jayce over the edge, that was what set him against heimerdinger. it came from a place of loyalty to someone close to him, plus the rest of the council were able to stop him if they didn’t agree with it but they didn’t and jayce had a point: a leader who is stuck in the past may not be willing to adapt to the evolving circumstances of the future

his attitude towards the undercity: this is the main point against jayce and obviously his outburst to viktor and his whole opinion of the undercity is trash. but he learns, and changes, which is another thing i like about his character. he starts out with skewed views that come from his lack of education of the reality of zaun and his privilege, then when he goes to zaun and sees for himself he has a moment of clarity, he feels remorse and ends up working with zaun and silco to get peace. he isn’t so stuck in his ways that he won’t accept being wrong or adapt his thinking.

killing the kid in zaun: again, clearly not great, no justifying killing someone. so the path for this point will be this: viktor did the same thing. they both go too far, blinded by ambition and fear, and people die because of it. then they both pick themselves back up, face the fact that they were wrong, and set out to make amends. holding this against jayce specifically makes no sense in my mind when ive seen plenty of people treating viktor and even silco with far more leniency

also: a lot of decisions jayce makes are influenced by other people. it’s bound to happen when in the setting he is surrounded by councillors, politicians, and he is. he’s influenced by mel, of course, though im not implying any malevolence on her part. he’s influenced to some degree by heimerdinger, by vi, by viktor. but it’s worth remembering that half of what he does is influenced by exterior forces, theres then of course a question of where true blame lies.

my decision: im going to allow myself to admit that i love hammer boy and even though id mercilessly tease him were we friends irl i am very fond of him

let me know if i missed anything or theres anything else you want me to go into bc i find thinking about this stuff so fascinating (anything added later will be in the replies on this post!)

[datleggy]

Buddie prompt: aggressively pro-buddie Helena and Ramon Diaz, who are ecstatic when Eddie tells them he's dating, and then utterly befuddled when he introduces Ana. But they decide to bite their tongues about it (Buck, their future son in law, has talked to them about respecting Eddie's decisions, however dumb, after all), until Ana (unwittingly? Innocently? No matter) makes a comment about Buck, and then all bets are off.

Hope this inspires you!

Helena is so relieved that Eddie finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them, that she could cry. She feels awful that it took her so long to realize it. 

It had been on Eddie’s last visit to Texas, when he and his crew had been fighting wildfires, that Ramon--her dense as can be when it comes to matters of the heart husband of all people--had noticed that their son was in love. 

Helena still remembers saying goodbye to her son and his two teammates, remembers Ramon closing the door, waiting exactly all of five seconds before turning to her and saying, “I’m happy for him. He’s so stubborn, I didn’t know if he’d ever let himself get that close to someone again.” 

And Helena had been confused at first, and then even chuckled when Ramon had explained calmly that clearly their son was dating his coworker Buck, until she’d stopped to really give it a moment’s thought. It had hit her all at once, how obvious those two were, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since they’d started dating and why Eddie hadn’t said anything yet. 

She’s seen the photos on Instagram, Helena thinks, as their plane lands. Buck smiling next to her grandbaby after helping her son build him a skateboard he could safely ride in the park. Buck standing shoulder to shoulder with Eddie behind Tia and Christopher in that Christmas photo at the station. The selfie Eddie posted of him and Buck with the giant cast still on his leg the day of the ceremony for when he was no longer a probationary firefighter with the 118. 

Really, she should’ve figured it out months ago. 

When Eddie had called and told her he’d started dating again and that the next time they came to visit he’d make an introduction Helena had been thrilled! 

Ramon drives them from the airport to their son’s place in their rental and Helena rambles on about how she hopes Buck isn’t too nervous to see them again, now that the cat’s out of the bag. 

When they arrive Eddie greets them at the door with a big hug and ushers his parents inside and Helena is so ready to step into the living room and welcome Buck into the family with open arms, to show her son that there was nothing to be afraid of, that they love him and nothing in the world would change that--

Only to be met with....not Buck? 

“Oh,” Helena stops dead in her tracks and Ramon stands beside her looking about as confused as she feels. “Hello.” she smiles politely enough. 

The woman sitting next to Christopher on the couch stands up and she’s absolutely stunning, her curls bouncing on her shoulders when she stands up to exchange hello’s. “It’s so nice to meet you both. My name is Ana.” 

The rest of the afternoon goes by just fine, but Eddie can tell something is amiss the entire time, though he does a good job of hiding it from Ana, who’s her usual charming self through out lunch. 

She has to take a work call at some point and excuses herself to another room and that’s when Eddie turns to his parents and half-whispers. “Ok, I know those looks. What’s wrong?” 

Helena shakes her head, feigning ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

Eddie sighs, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, what is it? Ana is perfect. She’s incredibly smart, she’s funny, she’s got a great job, good head on her shoulders, and Christopher loves her--so again, I ask, what’s wrong?” 

Ramon follows his wife’s lead. “Mijo, really, it’s nothing. She’s great. We’re happy for you. I think we’re just a little tired from the flight, that’s all.” 

Eddie narrows his eyes slightly but decides there isn’t much sleuthing that can be done at the moment, so all he can do is take them at their word for now. “Fine, if you say so.” 

They’re in the middle of watching Nemo when Buck's name comes up.

"When the tsunami happened Buck and I sang 'just keep swimming' like Dory." Christopher grins up at his dad and Eddie ruffles the curls on his head playfully. It helps Christopher to be able to openly talk about what he went through that day, the good and the bad.

"You never told me Buck was there that day." Ana comments off handedly.

Eddie nods, "Huh, I thought I mentioned it? Buck took him to the pier that morning."

"It was scary but Buck saved me." Christopher tells his grandma, who reaches across the couch to squeeze his arm. Helena had been horrified to hear what had happened at the time; it still gives her anxiety just thinking about it.

"That's right." She says softly.

"I thought some woman you didn't know carried him to one of the tents, and that's how you two were reunited, no?" Ana asks.

"Yeah, but before that, during the initial impact Buck was with Christopher, he managed to get him up to this firetruck in the middle of everything. It was after he dove back into the water to save someone that a second wave came and swept Christopher right off and they got separated from there." Eddie recalls solemnly.

There had been blood running down the dirty wet bandage on his arm, he'd been soaked to the bone, exhausted and barely standing upright. It wasn't until Christopher had been found that Buck had allowed himself to collapse.

"Oh..." Ana frowns.

Ramon puts a hand over his heart and sighs. "It's a miracle, really."

Ana doesn't mean to say it outloud, but the words comes tumbling out of her mouth without warning. "And you're still friends with him?"

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"I'm sorry, really, it's just--I don't understand." Ana rubs her shoulder self consciously, fully aware of the fact that everyone is looking at her. "Look, Edmundo, you nearly bit my head off when Christopher got a skinned knee under my watch but you're still best friends with the man who lost your son for God only knows how long? It doesn't make any sense to me."

Ana knows how overprotective Eddie is of his son, and in fact, that's one of the reasons she likes him so much; she admires that about him and this? It doesn't track with the man she knows.

Helena wants to open her mouth and she say something in defense of Buck--he's a good man, after all. But she knows better than to get between a couple in an argument, especially given how bias she is towards her future son in law...

Instead, she clears her throat and looks at Christopher, "Honey, how about you help me and Grandpa unpack? I bought a lot of fun things from Texas for you."

Christopher doesn't want to go. His Dad looks upset. Ana looks upset. He wants to stay and help. If Ana met Buck she would understand, Christopher's sure of it. But his grandparents are already leading him down the hall and to the guest room.

Christopher hangs out with his grandparents for a few minutes before fibbing and telling them he needs to use the bathroom. They both offer to help him but he insists that he can do it himself, promising to call out if he needs them.

He sneaks the home phone into the bathroom with him and dials a number he knows by heart at this point. He waits a couple of rings before the call connects.

"Hey, what's up?" Buck's voice comes through the other end. He sounds distracted.

"Bucky? Can you come get me?" He whispers into the phone.

He hears a small commotion and then a stifled 'ow!' and then: "Chris? Are you ok? You're home, right? What's wrong? Where's Eddie?"

"I'm home. I'm ok. But--" there's a knock on the door and it startles Christopher into accidentally hanging up the phone before he can explain the situation in it's entirety.

"It was a tsunami." Eddie sighs, "It wouldn't be fair to hold something like that over his head. And look, you weren't there. You didn't see the look on his face, you don't know how many hours he spent crying out Christopher's name at the top of his lungs, injured and looking nonstop through the rubble for him--"

"Yeah, which he wouldn't have had to do if he hadn't lost him in the first place. It sounds like he was too busy playing hero for strangers to watch your son." Ana folds her arms across her chest. "I don't want to fight. Especially not with your parents here. Honestly, I'm just confused? We don't have to talk about this right now. I can go. I just want to apologize to your parents and Christopher first, before I leave, for," she sighs, embarrassed, "well, for causing a scene. This is not the way I'd pictured meeting your parents."

"You know, if you just met Buck I really think you would--"

A cacophony of knocks at the door make the both of them jump. Ana looks at Eddie. "Were you expecting anyone else?"

"Christopher!? Christopher I'm here, open up!"

Eddie gapes. "...Buck?"

"Did you...call him over?" Ana didn't even see him reach for his phone.

"What? No, of course not." Eddie starts towards the door--the knocking has gotten so boisterous he's pretty sure Buck's about to break down his door--but Ana beats him to it.

At this point Eddie's parents and Christopher are in the hallway wondering what all that racket is.

Ana lets the door swing open, and if she's being entirely honest she's not sure what she's planning on saying to the man who's essentially at the center of her first real argument with her boyfriend, but whatever it was, it goes up in smoke when she takes in the sight of him.

Buck is taller than she'd pictured but that's not what's got her speechless.

He's standing at the doorway, chest heaving, clearly having rushed out of his house, where he was very obviously in the middle of shaving, if the shaving cream still smeared on a third of his face is any indication. He's in sweatpants and a white undershirt that's got little drops of blood on the front from where he must have cut himself while shaving. There's a bright red cut running down the underside of his chin.

"Um." Ana can't do much except stare, wide eyed.

Buck blinks at her, "Uh...Ana?" He suddenly realizes all the people in the house behind her are looking at him in a kind of stupor.

She nods slowly. "Buck?"

Buck nods sheepishly, "Uh... So, I am clearly interrupting something here."

"You came!" Christopher moves past all of the adults in the corridor and throws himself at Buck's legs.

Buck lifts the kid up easily enough, crutches and all, "Yeah, about that," he gently pinches his cheek, eliciting a giggle out of Christopher, "What was that phone call all about? You nearly gave me a heart attack, bud."

Eddie groans. "Christopher, did you call Buck to come all the way over here in the middle of the day?" He walks over and uses the cuff of his shirt sleeve to wipe away the rest of the shaving cream on the side of Buck's face. The look on his face is fond as he does so. "What did this little menace say to get you over here in such a rush?"

Christopher pouts. "I just told him to come get me. I thought if Miss Ana met my Bucky she'd know how come you're still best friends." He grips at Buck's t shirt tightly. "You can't stop being friends, Dad. I love Buck. He's my friend too."

Buck frowns. "Umm..."

Eddie gives him an apologetic look. "Sorry, it's not--it's complicated. I promise to explain everything later. Right now isn't really a great time--"

Ana interrupts hesitantly. "Actually, now is probably good. I need to get home soon, it's getting pretty late, so I should get going." She turns to Helena and Ramon. "It was very nice to meet you both." She scoohches past Buck and Christopher and practically sprints to where she parked her car, aware of the fact that Eddie is calling out her name and only half a step behind her.

It's not until they're several blocks down the street that she swivels around and he nearly topples into her in his haste. "Ana, please, I don't want you to leave like this. I really didn't call him over." He reaches into his back pocket and shows her his phone. "See?"

Ana takes the phone and presses her lips together thinly. "He called you like twenty times on his way over."

Eddie frowns. His phone must have been on silent. It's no wonder Buck rushed over like he did. "He was just worried about Christopher--"

Ana sighs resignedly. "No, I know. It's obvious, how much your best friend cares about your son. I can see why he's still in your life. And I think I can also see why that means you don't really have any room for me in it..."

Eddie shakes his head. "What? Why would you say that?"

Ana looks him in the eye, intent as can be on reading him. Eddie had smiled so warmly, creating such an unintentionally intimate moment when all he'd done was swipe at the other mans face with his sleeve...

"You don't even know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"I think this is something you and Buck need to sort out yourselves. Goodbye Edmundo."

Eddie closes the door behind him as he steps inside, a little heartbroken and a lot confused.

There's noise coming from the kitchen and so Eddie follows it to the source. Ramon is telling Buck about how to sear the perfect steak by the stove while Helena and Christopher set the table.

"Is everything alright?" Helena asks, when she notices him by the entryway.

Eddie nods, lying when he says. "Yeah, all good Mom."

She gives him a knowing look but keeps her mouth shut. "Honey, take Buck here to your room, let him borrow one of your shirts. And maybe a razor?"

Buck chuckles shyly. "It's fine, really. I should probably get going too--"

Ramon shushes him. "Nonsense. Go, go, get changed and get your butt back into this kitchen. Scoot."

Eddie takes Buck by the shoulders and drags him to his room, where he finds a worn gray Henley for him. "Here."

Buck thanks him before stripping out of his white undershirt and throwing on the clean shirt.

Eddie plops himself down on his bed with a sigh. "Hey, I'm sorry about all this mess. And on your one day off, too."

Buck sits down beside him, bumping their shoulders together. "I don't really know what's going on but, are you doing ok?"

"I don't know," Eddie makes a face. "I think I got broken up with today."

Buck cringes. "Shit, I'm sorry, what happened?"

That's a good question. Eddie ponders that a moment. Ana had said it herself: she understood perfectly why Eddie didn't blame Buck for what happened during the tsunami and she had seen first hand how much Buck cares for Christopher for herself today.

So, why?

"She said that there wasn't any room for her in my life?" Eddie scratches the back of his head. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this dating stuff anymore."

"Aw, c'mon man," Buck pats him on the back. "You fall off the bike you gotta get right back on." He turns his body all the way around so that he's facing Eddie fully. "Dude, you're a catch. You're a handsome, badass firefighter, you've got the best kid, and hey--you got me." Buck grins toothily.

Eddie rolls his eyes, though he can't help but smile. "So what I'm hearing here is that I'm stuck with you?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Buck laughs.

Eddie leans back on his arms and looks up at his best friend, pensive. "Promise?"

Buck extends his pinky and wiggles it in front of Eddie, who smiles as he wraps his pinky around Buck's. "Promise."

.

[moon-light-jukebox]

Learning Styles - [Reid x Reader]

Summary: Reader has worked hard to get to the FBI, but a misunderstanding has her feeling insecure. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid / Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG

Content Warning: Mention of normal criminal minds stuff briefly. 

A/n: I got these two requests and they were so similar I decided to combine them. I hope that’s okay, but I feel like the stories would have been almost identical. 

Requests:  - I have a fic suggestion. Reader pretends to be dumb but is actually really smart. I’m thinking of that quote about marilyn ”you have to be really smart to pretend to be dumb”. One day spencer realizes that reader is smarter than she lets people know.

- Hi! Can I request a spencer reid x reader fic where reader isn't great with numbers but brilliant with behaviour and humanities (i.e. literature, history, sociology, up to you)? Maybe a dash of insecurity to spice things up?

-- Learning Styles -- 

My favorite professor in college told me that everyone learns differently; what works for one person won’t work in the same way for another. We are all different human beings that are shaped in different ways.

I had always been oddly insecure about my intelligence level. One of my earliest memories was my mother yelling at me while I sat at the kitchen table when I was in first grade. I was the only kid in my class who still hadn’t learned how to read. I just didn’t understand. All of my friends were progressing so much quicker than me and my mother was losing patience.

It wasn’t until my grandmother stepped in that everything changed. My elementary school teacher was training children to read by memorizing sight words, a concept I didn’t understand. When my grandmother sat down and taught me phonics. I distinctly remember everything snapping into place.

I was in 1st grade and reading at a 7th-grade level by Christmas. Once I finally understood my learning style, I really began to thrive.

But no matter what I did, I could still hear my mother yelling at me, telling me I was stupid.

In my line of work, I see just how much the throw away comments that parents make can shape a child’s development. Luckily, those comments just made me a bit insecure, not a murderer.

Up until I was 22, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do beyond this desire I had to help people. SSA David Rossi had come to guest lecture in one of my abnormal psych classes during undergrad. After I heard him speak, I was done. I couldn’t have done anything else with my life. I had obtained my master’s in psychology before I joined the FBI.

It took some time, but I was finally assigned to the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico. I was so excited on my first day that I remember my hands physically shaking.

Until they weren’t.

I can still remember my first day so clearly. SSA Hotchner had introduced me to the team, saving the “best” for last.

“And this is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he had said. “He’s our expert on…well, everything.”

Reid was my age and he had his Ph.D. I remember feeling awed by him.

Until I didn’t.

"I hold 3 Ph.D.'s in Chemistry, Engineering, and Mathematics. I also have BAs in psychology and sociology."

I remember my jaw almost hitting the floor. While I was impressed by him, I wasn’t insecure about my place on the team.

Until I was.

My grandmother may have helped me master reading, which opened the door to me mastering anything else I put my mind to…except math.

I was fine at statistics, luckily. You couldn’t get a psych degree without a ton of statistics work. But statistics was different, I could see the practical use of statistics. I just couldn’t wrap my head around calculus or algebra.

On my first case with the team, Reid had calculated some insane mathematical equations on the whiteboard, running down the probabilities and applying a mathematical formula to the unsub’s behavior.

It wasn't until later, after the case was solved when I was standing in front of the whiteboard that my confidence was hit. Reid had come into the room and saw me looking at his work.

“Don’t bother trying to understand it,” he had said. “You’d have to be a genius to understand what I do.”

I didn’t have a word to describe the feeling that settled in my stomach at his words, I wasn’t sure such a word existed. The feeling was cold and heavy, but also made my body burn with shame.

I had just offered him a tight smile before I left the room.

On the plane home I had made a decision. I was no match for Dr. Reid, I doubt anyone was. So, I would take myself out of the competition. I couldn’t get hurt if I wasn’t playing the game.

And that is how the next year of my life went. I allowed Dr. Reid to explain things to me that I was an expert in, never saying a word. I acted like I didn't understand concepts that I had written papers on. The only thing I didn't dumb down was my profiling skills. Those were necessary for my job and for saving lives.

I don’t think anyone realized what I was doing.

Until they did.

--

The team had been called to Colorado to assist in capturing a serial rapist.

All of our cases bothered me, every last one…but something about ones with this vile element really struck me.

We had the unsub’s name, Tyler Childress. He had spent time in prison for sexual assault and burglary. It seems while he was in prison, he spent time perfecting his methods; it was only by pure luck that we found his fingerprint inside the victim’s house, making him the main suspect.

When we paid Mr. Childress a visit, he had managed to get the drop on Prentiss and Morgan, allowing them to escape. Morgan was furious.

All of us were sitting around a conference table in the local prescient while we let Dr. Reid talk.

I was trying to be calm, I was, but my nails were digging into my palm so deeply I was worried I was about to draw blood.

“Guys,” the expert on everything said. “He has to have some sort of accomplice.”

Rossi just sighed. “But the profile doesn’t point to him being the sort to do well with others; he’s a narcissist.”

Reid wouldn’t budge. “I know that, but he isn’t intelligent enough to pull this off alone. He’s just not. He had an IQ test done when he was 20. He scored in the mentally handicapped range. I’m telling you he has to have help.”

“Are you sure, Reid?” Hotch asked.

“Positive. I have his results right here.”

“IQ tests aren’t a good measure of intelligence on their own.”

I was so startled that someone had contradicted Dr. Reid that it took me a second to realize it was me who had contradicted him.

He turned to face me; his brown eyes wide. “What?”

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “IQ tests aren’t a good measure of intelligence.”

Dr. Reid laughed. He laughed at me like my comment was funny. “I don’t know where you heard that,” he began.

But I interrupted him. "IQ tests are classist and oftentimes racist. The man who invented the IQ test never intended for it to be used as a complete measure of intelligence. He regretted making the test.”

Reid sputtered. “You…it’s not racist!”

“Yes. It. Is.” I ground out. “If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be illegal to administer an IQ test to a black child in the state of California.”

"Wait, it's illegal to do that?" JJ asked, her brows drawn together.

"Yes. There was a court case in the 1970s over it. Teachers were using tests to separate white children from black children. The black children were put into special education classes they didn’t need to be in. Just because the teachers didn’t want those children in their classrooms.”

I should have stopped, but I was on a role. “They’re also inherently classist. How can you expect a child to answer a question about Romeo and Juliet if they haven’t heard of it?”

That had Dr. Reid scoffing. “Everyone has heard of it.”

I shot to my feet, unable to hold back anymore. “No, they haven’t. Children in underfunded schools that don’t have access to resources might not have heard about the most famous play in history because their school wasn’t able to provide the materials to teach them about it. There was a study done in a remote part of Russia right after the IQ test was invented. Every. Single. Person. Scored in the mentally handicapped range. Because they didn’t understand.”

I knew my voice was rising but I couldn’t stop myself. “Once the researcher took the questions and applied them to things they understood, they all scored as above average. They didn’t understand math as an abstract concept, but they understood it when it was applied to their businesses, to something they actually knew about.”

I cleared my throat. “The test isn’t fair, it’s not equal. Tyler Childress didn’t go to a good school and he didn’t have a stable home life. You can’t use one measure to calculate his intelligence. He’s gotten away with 7 assaults so far that we know of. He’s not stupid.”

The entire room was silent once I had stopped speaking. I couldn’t bring myself to regret it though. What kind of person was I if I played dumb because I was afraid of being mocked when a monster was out there attacking women? No, those women deserved to have me at my best.

And I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t give it to them.

Rossi spoke first, his eyes twinkling when he looked at me. “Took you long enough,” he said. “But y/n is right. We trust the profile; we don’t let personal bias cloud the way. That’s how we catch this bastard.”

--

Later that day, we were cleaning up the conference room while the local police processed Tyler Childress.

Pathological narcissism is a complex disorder, but we followed the profile and Rossi was right. Hotch set up a press conference in which JJ and Prentiss took center stage. They tore Childress’s ego to shreds on live television.

His narcissism wouldn’t allow that to slide. He got angry, he made a mistake, and we got him before anyone else got hurt.  

While the cat was out of the bag about my intelligence and that made me nervous, I couldn't regret any of it. I got to be the one to tell our last victim that we got him. I got to hug her while she cried because now that he was locked up, she felt like her healing could begin. I wasn’t sure if my rant about structural racism and the classism of IQ tests actually helped anything, but that didn’t really matter. There was one less monster in the shadows.

Today was a good day.

I was alone in the conference room, untacking photos from the evidence board when I heard someone clear their throat from behind me. I turned my head to meet the wide, honey brown eyes of Dr. Spencer Reid.

Oh boy, I thought. “What’s up, Reid?”

He shifted from foot to foot, his hands twisting in front of him before he crossed his arms over his chest. “I asked Garcia to look into you.”

My eyebrows drew together. “I’m pretty sure any nefarious things I had done would have popped up on my initial background check.”

“Right, I didn’t mean like that,” he mumbled, the apples of his cheeks turning pink. “I asked her to look into you academically.”

Shit.

He went on. “You double majored in psychology and sociology before you got a master’s in cultural psychology. She pulled your thesis. I just read it.”

“I see.” I turned my attention back to the board.

“You also guest lecture on cross-cultural psychology at Georgetown several times a year. And you’ve co-authored two papers since I’ve known you.”

Meh, it’s three. But that doesn’t matter. “Did you read those too?”

I took his silence as confirmation.

He was so quiet I almost thought he had left, but the crackle of energy I felt in the air told me he hadn’t. “Do you need something, Dr. Reid?”

"Why didn't you get your Ph.D.?"

I had answered that question many, many times. “I didn’t need a doctorate to do what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to waste time. Once I figured out what I wanted, I charged at it.” Which was a far more honest answer than most people got about that from me.

“W-why did you pretend to be dumb?” he rasped out, causing me to look back at him. “32 days ago, you let me explain the long-term effects of gerrymandering and the complex causes of poverty.”

“Of course, I did,” I said, frowning. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“One of the papers you authored was about generational poverty.”

“Just because I know a lot about something doesn’t mean I can stop listening to information. That sort of thinking breeds ignorance.” I smiled, unable to not tease him just a little bit.

Reid took a step closer to me. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I just shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t have a good answer.”

In all the months I had known him, Spencer Reid had never touched me, not even so much as a finger brushing against mine when he handed me something. That fact is why I was so startled when I felt his hand on my upper arm, turning me towards him.

He licked his lips, his eyes darting around. “Did everyone else know?”

I shook my head, my teasing mood long gone. "No. I mean, clearly, Rossi suspected but…No, I didn't tell anyone else."

“I just don’t understand. You’re brilliant.”

I scoffed. “No, I’m not. I’m decent a psychology, sociology, stuff like that. I can’t apply math to behavior to find patterns. I can’t even calculate how much something is gonna cost when it’s on sale without a calculator half the time.”

‘What do you…” Reid trailed off. “Wait. The very first case. You were looking at the evidence board.”

Goddamn eidetic memory.

The boy wonder was on a roll now. “I told you that you’d have to…is that why you didn’t tell me?”

What else could I do? I just nodded.

Those brown eyes closed, and he let out a groan. “I said that because I thought you were going to…I was worried…” He huffed out a breath and opened his eyes. “I wanted you to like me. I didn’t want you to think I was just a nerd.”  

Now I was confused. “Why?”

Spencer Reid’s blush went all the way down his neck. “Well…I just…Morgan said I should just talk to you. But I’m not…I’m not good at that. I panic, then I start to ramble. Like I’m doing now…”

“Reid,” I interrupted. “I’m not playing dumb now. I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I like you,” he blurted out right before he smacked both of his hands over his face. “Oh my god. I sound like a child.” I thought I heard him mutter idiot under his breath. “Emily says that my IQ gets slashed to 60 whenever I see a pretty girl.”

Much like that moment all those years ago when I was a child, I felt everything click into place. Oh.

I couldn't suppress my smile any longer. I rose up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Well, we've already gone over how IQ tests aren't a good measure of overall intelligence."  

With that, I quickly stepped away and hurried out of the conference room, leaving a stunned genius in my wake. When I turned back to look at him, I saw his fingers brushing over the place where my lips had just been.  

--

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[clubsmarties]

"Just watch me walk around with eyes closed. You just won't get to see my pretty eyes. Sucks for you," she teased as a smile quickly formed on her lips. She knew he wasn't challenging her but something about it seemed so fun to prove him wrong. "I don't doubt it. She once told me how close you two were. He may be her soulmate but you are his." It was silly but honestly, friendships also held a deeper soulmate type of meaning when the bond was strong and true.

Nettie was adamant about it being her fault, at least partially. "Issac, listen. She was my mess that I brought with me. You two, wouldn't have gotten together or she wouldn't have seeked you out if it wasn't for me. Also the fact that I didn't tell you she wasn't who she claimed to be. That was on me. Maybe you could have been better prepared if I had." Regardless, she was alive and still here because of him. "I owe you my life."

The topic of Bastian clearly was still a sore point for him and that she found funny. She didn't mean to giggle but she would never understand why men said women were weird. "Hey, bias aside. Give him a chance. For me, please?" Her eyes plead like she was asking for a piece of candy that she couldn't have. "He is willing to give friendship a shot with you." Did she think they'd be best friends, no but she hoped that they could get through the awkward whenever they were in the same room. There was that expression that let her know he didn't love being benched. On a level she could understand that. If she were in his position, she wouldn't like being idle. She understood that but she felt for him. "I know it doesn't make it better but I am pretty happy you are benched. It means you aren't out there risking your life or getting killed. You know, Laurel when she lost Eli and she saw him lay there, dead for however many minutes. She said that was the moment she couldn't begin to know where to start to breathe again. Even with knowing the risks of the job, seeing him there unmoving, was her biggest nightmare to date and I don't want that to happen to you. I know it's selfish but I want you around."

She made a face and sighed. "Bummer, just sleep." Truthfully, she couldn't move half of her body without screaming in pain so sex was definitely off the table. "But you so owe me later." Something of a smile crossed her features as she made it clear she was kidding. The smile she saw gave her heart a thump. She kept caressing his knuckles as she waited for him to finish. Her way of showing and saying it was okay to be vulnerable. She would still find courage in that.

She could hear it in his voice, the way he spoke about Eli and his sisters. There was an immeasurable amount of love there between the lot. She remembered he once told her that love wasn't something he let himself feel. But regardless of that, he did love his family. Eli. He guarded his heart because of familial heartbreak. Not because he was incapable of it. "Pushing them out is the reason you took it to heart wasn't it? I can't imagine feeling good either way. You think you have a family only to find out you were just a temporary figure. But, bright side, you and your sisters and parents when they were alive gave him a good home. That you can't ever take back. I am sure he loves just as much as you guys do him." She chuckled hearing about his baby sister. "That is such a fun time to be around a little child. Don't take it to heart. She got attached early. Kind of mean of him to not give you a chance."

"Uh huh, sure you can." He wasn't challenging her to do it, but Isaac highly doubted it. Though chances were that his response might actually drive her to try. Isaac was never really sure with her. An exaggerated sigh of relief fell from his lips, the amusement in his smile evident. "Good, I'm glad. Trust me, we had this talk with Laurel too. This is serious business."

He didn't comment on her sound advice, and the way she'd probably benefit from her own words. Isaac knew all too well that advice may come easily when it was about others, not so much for yourself. He was certainly guilty of that. "I'm glad I went to see you that night, don't know if I helped much. No, don't apologize. It's not on you. It's definitely related to my work, you..wrong place, wrong time. And keeping bad company, aka me." It wasn't lost on him, that she probably might not have landed on Jazz's radar again if he had not been messing around with her. "So, it wasn't your mess. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

Isaac shrugged casually, almost as if to say, where to start in the list of what's wrong with the guy. Not that he had a concrete running list or anything, but he was already predisposed on Bastian. Verdict? Isaac didn't like him, even with the context that they were never together. "Smarter than me, pfft," he rolled his eyes at the notion. Hilarious. "Well, like you said, I don't think I had much right to ask if you were with him." Now, it was his turn for confusion. Her laughter puzzled him. "What? Well, no. Might just be a chill day, in another room. Not like I'm working on anything crazy, I'm benched indefinitely." Isaac tried to not let that bother him. He knew it was necessary, but it still irked him to not do anything. He was noticing now, they were both like that. That was almost amusing. "Okay okay, I'll try. The fire station with Eli? I mean, I'll ask. I'm sure he'll need to get some permission to have you hanging out there." He supposed that would be the next safest space. Isaac trusted Eli entirely, with his life and hers.

"It's not a bad thing, just unusual to hear from you. I suppose there's worse things you could learn from me," he teased, pressing a soft kiss to her head. The sound of her giggle was enough to kickstart his heart. "Hm, very weird." Isaac couldn't really recall a time that they slept together or snuggled afterwards. It wasn't their thing, or at least that's what he told himself. There was a time or two that he accidentally passed out, and she was too kind to throw him out. That was a fond memory he guarded. Waking up groggy and confused as to where he was, and hearing her singing in the kitchen as she made breakfast. "But, we'll be on our best behavior. Only sleep allowed on this bed."

As he told the story, Isaac gathered that this was not a fun story at all. Far from it really. He felt a lump in his throat when he paused, something he still had trouble saying out loud. Her silent support caused a smile to form, a silent thanks in response. What did he ever do to have her? He knew he didn't deserve her, but god - he must've done something right in his life to be here. Isaac met her gaze, glancing down at her. "Nope to all three, oddly enough." He couldn't help the laugh at her second question, Isaac opted to answer it all consecutively. "We did for a while, but," and there was another pause. Then again, this story couldn't be told without mentioning the event that caused everything else. "Well, when my parents died, a lot of things went to shit. A lot of my family members played hot potato with us, which I sort of get...taking in so many kids was probably not easy. But, no one really wanted to step up permanently. That uncertainty was rough. We were determined to stay together. Eli included, of course. We just needed someone to take all of us, so the system would let him stay with us. But, everyone was just in their own world. Their own grief, I guess. They pushed him aside when he was there for us regardless. I can never make that up to him. So much movement, uncertainty, and my family's attitude...he eventually decided to leave. So, no, we didn't always live together."

"I almost considered going to the same college, but I couldn't. My sisters took it hard when he left, Emma especially. I didn't want to leave them too." He half-shrugged, this was going in a very sad direction, and Isaac had to turn it around. This did have a nicer outcome after all. "I don't blame him though. I'm glad he did something for himself, and it worked out. I mean he's still there in Texas." A small shake of his head, "no jealousy in sight. I was thrilled to even the playing field at home. Believe it or not, my sisters gang up on me. They weren't jealous either though. Honestly, we just clicked very quickly and Emma got very attached too. She was much younger, so he got to carry her around, feed her, and play with her. She loves him, probably her favorite brother if I'm honest."

[serenityseventeen]

♪ The Last Day of Summer With You

Dino/Lee Chan : Firefly Meadow

Chan groaned in exhaustion as he continued walking down the dirt road with you on his back.

On the way up the hill, you had tripped over a thick tree branch and sprained your ankle, which was to you, a complete disappointment. You had waited until the last day of summer to take him to a forest meadow to see fireflies only for an unplanned disaster to occur.

“Just a bit more,” You said quietly, after hearing Chan's exhausted breaths. Even though you got hurt and felt bad for having Chan carry you, you wanted to desperately see the lightning bugs. You rested your head on his shoulder and said, “I told you that you don't have to carry me all the way over here, I could walk.”

Chan, despite being quite obvious about the fact that his energy was getting drained, smiled and chuckled. “It's okay. If that sprain was not enough for you to go back, I'm just going to trust you that there's something beautiful up here,” Chan replied, looking ahead. He could see the dirt path slowly fade to just green grass.

It was getting dark and if you had to estimate, you would guess that it was probably around 9 pm. The way up wasn't easy but now that you two have reached a certain point, it was quite easy to tell that the floor was evening out. Trees were surrounding the path and Chan felt a bit skeptical about the place as he looked around.

He didn't know about the fireflies yet.

As you two traveled further away from your car that was parked at the street nearby, deeper into the forest, you could see hints of the destination approaching. You found this place when you were following a rabbit while you were young, and though you've always somewhat hated the look of bugs, whenever you saw fireflies, you'd get reminded that everything ugly in life still had beauty in it.

You wanted to share this special place, that you were sure no one knew of, with the most special person in the world. You wanted to thank Chan for being the kindest, most loving, caring, and helpful boyfriend. Through thick and thin, snowy storms and sunny weather, Chan was always there by your side. Now that another summer with him was about to pass by, you wanted to tell him how special he was.

While he continued to walk, you took out your phone and turned on the flashlight, making sure that it was bright enough to light up the night. Then, in a reassuring voice, you told him, “I have a small surprise for you, do you mind if I cover your eyes?”

“Cover my eyes??” Chan was taken aback by the question but he knew that if he wanted a good surprise, he had to at least follow your conditions but even so, Chan tilted his head doubtingly. “How long will you cover them for?”

You estimated how long it would take for Chan to walk to the firefly heaven, and concluded, “Around 30 seconds? Just keep walking forward, the path onward is flat but the grass is tall.”

As your hands went on to cover Chan's eyes, he adjusted his grip and your position on his back with a little jump and continued.

Of course, Chan was terrified. As if walking in a forest during the late evening wasn't scary enough, he had to walk with his eyes covered. Sometimes, he would even become paranoid, thinking that he'd be carrying a ghost or something, so he'd always ask you something and hear your warm responses to chase away the fear.

The meadow was like a clearing in the forest. The grass gradually grew taller and there weren't many trees anymore, only one or two in the middle of the field.

At first, you were afraid that the glowing bugs wouldn't be there, or if there were, there wouldn't be many, since fireflies were primarily present during late spring to early summer. You did know, however, that sometimes fireflies could live on or have twinkling bottoms a bit later in the humid weather. You just had to hope that there were some.

With a soft sigh, you looked down at the meadow.

More disappointment. You should have checked for fireflies the day prior. You felt stupid for not doing so.

There was nothing.

No twinkling bugs, no fairyland.

With a sigh, your hands slipped off of Chan's eyes.

“We're too late. The fireflies are gone.”

“Fireflies? What fireflies?” Chan asked. You let yourself down and while hopping on one leg, you took a hold of the tree behind you. The bark was rather smooth rather than rough.

“In the summer, there are fireflies here. I should have taken you here earlier, at the beginning of summer, not at the end...” You looked down, plucking a piece of long grass and fidgeting with it, feeling that everything had been ruined. You continued to mutter, “I wanted to make it special so that you could know that you're special to me.”

Chan felt his heart smile. “Well, it's okay, we don't need to see fireflies... I don't like bugs anyway.”

He had a joking tone, meant for you to laugh, and he didn't fail at that. You just found yourself chortling at what he said because you knew it was somewhat sincere.

“The fireflies are really beautiful,” You commented, looking ahead at the darkness of the forest. “I will make sure to take you here again to see them.”

“I'll wait for that then, but you don't need to wait to tell me that you adore me,” Chan replied, putting his arm around your shoulders to help you stabilize and comfort you. “I mean, you already make me feel special everyday. Who needs lightning bugs? You're already the sun of my world, I don't need anything else.”

You chuckled softly and confessed, “I thought you were gonna say that I was already like a lightning bug, but fortunately, you called me the sun instead.”

Chan chuckled and looked forward, where in the distance, he saw the faint blink of a neon yellowish light with a tint of green.

You dropped your head, and commented quietly, “Still, I think we wasted our time coming up here.”

There was a silence of words as Chan stared at the firefly, subconsciously reaching his hand out toward it. It flew rhythmically, from left to right, high to low, eventually landing on Chan's hand. You were staring at the ground, still bummed, when you felt a slight tap on your shoulder.

You looked up and were met with a cute little beetle. The bottom of the beetle was glowing and its little light was somehow enough. You and Chan looked at each other, amazed at the little beauty. You both smiled, your eyes reflecting the bug's neon glow, your eyes following it as it flew off into the distance.

“I think the climb was worth it,” Chan said, turning to you. He took your hand and gave it a soft kiss. “We got to see a firefly like what you wanted.”

“That's not what I wanted, I wanted a whole pack of them. It would have made this meadow light up like a magical land!” You smiled as you complained, knowing that you felt satisfied.

Chan clapped his hands together. “I've never seen a firefly up close but it looked and made this land so magical, it almost felt unreal. Anyway, I'm happy to have come here with you. It felt special.”

You smiled, chuckling at your boyfriend's simple but sincere words. You could tell that not one of his words was an exaggeration even if it did seem like it since the sentences were so brazen.

“Thank you,” Chan said, brushing his thumb across your hand softly.

You didn't know how to respond. You just felt euphoric at the beautiful moment, making it seem like a hundred fireflies were lighting up the place brilliantly when there was only darkness and the flashlight from your phone as a light source.

You felt thankful to that one lightning bug that was like a blessing.

Noticing the shifting weather, Chan slipped his hand away from your shoulder, walked in front of you, and crouched down. You couldn't see his face but you were sure that he was smiling as he said the next sentence in a gentle voice.

“Climb on, honey, let's head back.”

---------------

© serenityseventeen

a/n: Today's IN THE SOOP ep made me cry- I cried when Seungkwan and Chan had their talk at the Tarp Zone because that was so wholesome and just so- beautiful to see them care for each other... But then I must've looked crazy because after that, I began laughing when they began reminiscing their past lol (and why are they so effortlessly funny lol) + I need to get that Dino fic done... I don't want to work on many things simultaneously, I can see the end!! + And guys- what if- what if i become a dinonara!?!? considering switching my bias to dino, sorry wonu... but I might not change??

[winterscaptain]

constellations.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: as usual, an ajf fic that requires very little context. i’m so sorry this took so long!! i was busy thinking about how to quit my job this week and then KIRA CAME TO VISIT ME (we’re being safe and covid-conscious!) so this took a couple of days longer than expected. also - i see your beautiful messages! i will keep chipping away at them :)

you can expect the route 66 fic on tuesday at 11pm pdt!

words: 4.4k warnings: canon-typical discussions of violence, some mention of canon-typical sexual assault, language

summary: as hotch recovers from the explosion in new york, you find yourself more concerned than you expected. (au!2008)

masterlist | a joyful future master list | requests closed!

“The Angel Maker. I remember the case.” 

It’s a fairly normal start to the week, with a case packed and ready for you at 10am. Aaron was out of the field for a week or so with his injuries, but his presence at the round table and the go bag you spotted beside his desk this morning warms you. 

He’s back. Not completely, but that’s better than not at all. 

“They caught that guy.” Reid’s flipping through the case file, but you know he’s got one ear open. 

Rossi’s on the same page, and finishes Reid’s thought. “And executed him.” 

“That’s right,” JJ says. “He was put to death by lethal injection a year ago yesterday.” 

You release a little breath you were holding. “Yesterday?”

That’s a clear enough trigger for a fanatic. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen something like this, either with your tenure at the BAU or in previous case studies at the academy. It was always a little shocking - the lengths people go to complete the work of the devil they romanticize...

Derek throws a finger at you as if to say Exactly. “So we’re looking for a copycat.” 

“Honoring the anniversary of his hero’s death.” Dave sits back in his chair, almost satisfied. You smile a little. 

The confidence of a seasoned profiler. 

Aaron catches your smile, and his lips pull just the barest amount. You shake your head, suppressing a wider grin. 

Funny, isn’t it?

His brows tug. What?

It’s so...normal. And so predictable. You sit back, peering at Aaron over your copy of the file. He huffs (you recognize it as a laugh, though the rest of his face remains exactly the same) and turns his attention toward Reid, who’s still flipping through the file. 

“It says here they found semen at the crime scene. Perhaps locals will get a DNA match through VICAP?” When you follow Aaron’s gaze to Spencer, you’re not surprised to see him already absorbed in the latter half of the report. 

“See, that’s where things get weird.” Her face screws up. “They already ran it, and got a match.” She throws the file toward you, and you open it. 

“If they already have a name, why’d they call us?” Emily’s confusion is swallowed up in your own. 

“You’ve got to be kidding.” You look over at Hotch, who takes the file from your hands. “The match they got back on the DNA is to Courtland Bryce Ryan -” 

Hotch lets out a sharp huff. “The Angel Maker.” You meet his gaze again. 

This is going to be a weird one. 

“Wheels up in thirty.” 

+++

You lean against the back of Hotch’s chair, peering over his shoulder as ideas bounce around the cabin. He’s focused on Reid along with the rest of you as the younger agent spins a theory. 

Derek’s the first one to question his particularly amusing line of thought. “Reid, you’re not seriously floating the idea of an evil twin, are you?”

“No. I’m floating the idea of an eviler twin.” Reid looks dead serious, and Hotch glances up at you. You shake your head a little, and he shrugs before restoring his attention. “Traditionally the concept is good twin and an evil twin. But in this case, it’s evil twin, eviler twin.” 

You swallow a laugh as both Derek and Emily look at him like he’s grown three extra heads all at once. 

Before any of you can say anything, Aaron’s hand rises to his forehead and his face scrunches up in pain. You place a hand on his shoulder from over the seat, patting him for his attention. “Hotch?” 

He hums something that sounds like, “Yeah?”

“Are you cleared to fly?”

He sucks in a breath to cover a wince, and you take that as a no. 

You sink your hands into his hair as he tips his head back against the seat with his eyes closed. The tips of your fingers find the little pressure points around his head, and you lean forward, keeping your voice soft. “Does that help?”

He nods, just a little, and you’re satisfied. You look at Derek over Hotch’s head, and he looks just as concerned as you feel. 

+++

“I give you a legacy. A breath of life from the Angel Maker himself. Those who prayed to forget me will one day see my face and shrink in fear.” Reid recites aloud from the letter, and you listen with your head propped on your hand. 

The sheriff sighs and crosses his arms. “That’s the last thing people need right now.” 

“Reid, how does that compare with the original correspondence?” Derek ignores the sheriff, redirecting his attention to the letter and the genius holding it. 

You jump on Derek’s line of thinking. “It can’t be authentic, can it?” You drop your hand from your chin and lean toward Spencer, feeling Aaron hover over your shoulder. 

“They share some compelling characteristics. I’d obviously like to look at it under a magnification under a better light…”

Obviously.

Hotch’s voice almost startles you, right by your ear. “Best guess, Reid?”

“I’d say it’s authentic.” Rather than looking at Hotch, he looks at you. Your furrowed brow speaks for everyone present. 

“How can it be authentic if the guy’s been dead for over a year?” Looking over at Hotch, you hope he has something better than paranormal speculation. 

He doesn’t disappoint. “It could be an elaborate forgery.” 

“Or,” Reid adds, “it could be a genuine article, just written before his death.” 

You hum. “That's my favorite of the theories so far.” 

The sheriff shakes his head, coming up on your other side. It’s almost comical the way you’re all crowded around the letter. “Mail here isn’t that slow.” 

Derek’s the only one who hasn’t joined you. He’s still happily posted up at the desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed. You glance at him before offering, “Could have been released through an intermediary.”

“You mean the copycat?” Reid asks. 

Nodding, you suggest, “He could be buried in those visitor logs - we’re checking them out now to see who visited Ryan and how often.” 

Derek finally joins you. “That’ll narrow the suspect pool.”

Hotch flinches again and his fingers press to his brow as the front door opens, allowing the rush of a truck to sound through the room. 

“Hotch?”

He waves you off. “I’m fine.” 

Liar. 

There’s nothing you can do. 

+++

You’re with Derek in one of the interrogation rooms, going through letter upon letter from Ryan’s time in prison. “What happens if Hotch actually loses his hearing?” You can’t help the overwhelming notes of concern coloring your voice. “I mean, what are we going to say to Strauss? ‘Excuse me ma’am, if our unit chief goes deaf because he won’t fucking slow down, can he still be our unit chief?’ I mean - “

You shut your mouth as Hotch walks into the room. Shame floods through you. It was more than unkind to talk about him behind his back as it was, and here you were - broadcasting your worst fears about his condition to one of your closest mutual friends. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -” 

Aaron once again waves you off. “It’s alright.” He comes to rest beside you, and you reach for his arm in apology. 

“How are you feeling?”

He shakes his head, and Derek leaves the two of you alone, closing the door behind him. Hotch looks over his shoulder, satisfied that you’re on your own. 

“Dizzy. Nauseated. Tired.” It’s like a checklist - matter-of-fact and without bias. 

You take stock of him. The cuts on his face are healing nicely, and the bruise on his cheek is fading. The bags under his eyes, though, betray the lack of sleep. “What can I do?”

He shakes his head with something that isn’t a smile if you don’t know him. “Nothing. Just keep doing good work.” 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive earlier.” 

“I know.” 

“I’m just worried, is all.” Your voice tapers off at the end of your thought, just a little embarrassed. 

A little breath leaves his nose, and you know it’s sort of a laugh. “I know.” He presses a hand to your shoulder for a moment before diving into one of the boxes himself.

+++

Hotch walks quickly, and you keep up as best you can as he informs the sheriff, “I have to advise against this.” 

“All due respect, this isn’t your town. I have to convince them that Courtland Ryan is dead and buried.” 

Hotch glances back at you, and you shrug. 

Small towns. Serial killers. What are you gonna do?

The cemetery is relatively quiet, the sleepy town waiting for something to happen with bated breath. It’s not like anyone would be taking late-night walks anytime soon. 

His head tips, and you know he agrees. Nevertheless, he turns back toward the sheriff. “You’re indulging the killer by perpetuating the ruse he’s created.” 

Nice. Five dollar words for the two-bit sheriff. 

“He’s right. It may embolden him. Prompt more murders.” Emily says, watching the proceedings with a discerning eye. You can only agree. 

The sheriff shakes his head. “Celia lost her only daughter to that murdering bastard. We met when I was working the case and had gotten close. I thought we were past all this, but...I guess I was kidding myself.” 

The crane starts up, and there’s a sinking feeling that you’ve forgotten about something as the chains tighten and begin to lift the coffin. All at once, you remember and turn as Hotch steps away, his hand over his ear and the other pressed against his brow again. 

You hover beside him, not sure what to do. Pressing your hands to his forearms, you do your best to shield him from some of the sound with your body. 

He makes a weak attempt to wave you off, but his voice startles you. It’s so small as he insists, “I’m alright. I’m fine. Just -”

“Hotch -”

“I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay. Yeah.” 

You don’t believe him for a second, but as the noise decreases, so does his agony. He removes his hands from his ears for a moment. He’s blinking rapidly, looking simultaneously dazed and far too aware. 

“Aaron…”

He shakes his head. “Don’t. I’m fine. I’m okay.” 

Your lips press into a thin line and you remove your hands from his arms. “Take it easy. I can’t make your life hell if you can’t hear me, alright?”

Your teasing has the intended effect, and he levels you with his signature glare that’s only halfway playful. 

+++

“The victim is Maxine Chandler. The neighbors say she’s lived here her whole life. All twenty-eight years of it.” 

The house is infused with the presence of children - play structures, toys, the whole nine. Aaron voices your thoughts. “How many kids does she have?” 

“None of her own. She runs a daycare. The guy who called 911 came here to drop off his toddler and found Maxine in her bedroom.”

That’s an eventful morning. 

“Well,” you note, “now that we have more than one victim, we can compare victimology.” 

Hotch nods, and you meet his eyes for a moment. “Different data points should help us significantly narrow the profile.” 

“I’ll get JJ to bring us the files on the first victim.” Morgan says, his phone already in his hand. 

“What did you find?” 

The coroner runs you through his findings, and they’re not much different from the first murder, but there is one notable difference. 

“Nine puncture wounds,” Emily notes, her dark eyes roaming over the body. 

You’re close to Hotch, watching them bounce off each other. It’s always inspiring to watch them. As close as you and Aaron are, you were deeply impressed but his professional relationship with Emily. There’s part of you that chalks it up to your age - they are only two years apart. They form their own little age bracket on the team while you, JJ, and Spencer make up the younger strata. 

More often than not, the three of you were able to keep up with each other just like Emily and Aaron. 

“Can I have your pen?” Emily asks.

“Yeah.” Hotch pulls the pen from his inside pocket, handing it over into her eager hands. “What is it?” 

You wait as she doodles something into her notepad before her head whips up. “She did this.” 

“What do you mean?” You’re not following, and you can tell Hotch isn’t either. 

“The unsub. She made this before she made the puncture wounds.” 

Hotch tips his chin, understanding. “That’s why the coroner found paper in the wounds.” 

“It was a template. The Angel Maker did it from memory, but she needed a guide to get it right.” 

You pull your phone out, already dialing Reid as Hotch says. “We need to go back and re-examine each of the patterns. Where’s Reid?” 

“Spence. Hey. We have something for you.” You pass the phone and a little smile to Hotch, who takes both with a grateful look. 

Emily watches the exchange, feeling suddenly like an outsider - almost an intruder. There’s something between you two, always has been, but this moment is such a clean-cut outline of it. You’re constantly anticipating the needs of the other, ready with a warmth and fondness at a moment’s notice. 

She sees it again when he presses your phone back into your waiting hand. You take it and brush past him as he turns over his shoulder to follow you out the door. It almost looks choreographed. In fairness, you’d both done it what feels like thousands of times before. 

When you pause in the living room, both turning at the same time when Derek calls for Hotch, a shadow of a thought crosses her mind. It’s gone before it’s truly there, and she lets it go. 

+++

Reid’s finally cracked it, and you’re all crowded around him again as he explains what he’s found. He profiled the author, figured out the cypher used by the Aryan Brotherhood, and generally made use of his insane brain. The patterns themselves are constellations, woven into every aspect of their relationship. 

You find a smile breaking out over your face as you listen to Spencer spin. Hotch leans over and whispers, “He hasn’t let loose in a while, has he?” You’re standing on his left, of course, just in case. 

Shaking your head, you laugh a little. Emily’s looking at Spencer like he’s from another planet. She pokes him and voices the thought you’ve all had at least once. “He’s so lifelike.”

Her comment gets a laugh out of you and a smile out of Aaron. You’re warmed by it. 

+++

You clear and search Chloe Kelcher’s house, staying firmly attached to Aaron’s seven o’clock position, right off his left shoulder. 

“Alright. We all know what the endgame is. She’s looking for her final victim. She may have already chosen one.” Hotch looks around, suggesting assignments with the flicker of his eyes around the house. “Let’s tear this place apart, look for anything that might tell us who she’s targeted.”

You follow Hotch and Derek into the nursery, noting the stars on the ceiling. The crib captures your attention - the carefully placed onesie indicating the pain of a woman in denial. Your brow crumples, and Aaron steps up beside you, nudging a couple of stuffed animals out of the way as a cursory search. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just...thinking.” The trigger is as clear as a neon sign, and you’re sure much saner people would break down like this at the loss of a child. There’s a silent prompting as he stands beside you, waiting for you to elaborate. “I dunno. I can just see how someone close to reasonable would be in bad enough shape after something like this, not to mention someone as unstable as our unsub.” 

He sighs. “It must have devastated her to think that she could hold on to Ryan by having his child and then lose the baby.” 

Derek hums from across the room, joining the conversation. “Completing his murders became the only way she could hold onto him.”

Something strikes Aaron then - something intangible. He turns and opens the trunk in the corner of the room. Its contents pull your upper lip up in disgust.

With a dubious pair of eyebrows, Aaron notes, “Not the only way.” 

“Guess that answers that.” 

+++

You reach the final victim’s house, and you can only hope you’ve made it in time. Hotch immediately assumes authority, leading collaboration between the BAU and local law enforcement. He assigns Derek to find an opening into the house, while he directs the sheriff to bring all the cars to the front, no lights. 

He finds a megaphone for Emily, and you take your place at his left side, crouched to take the low firing point through the car’s open window. 

“Hit the lights,” he directs, and they do. 

All at once, it’s bright - nearly daylight. Emily starts talking, and you’re singularly focused on the front of the house. The windows, the door, and the curtains are all within your purview. You glance up at Hotch, who glances down at you. He unholsters his weapon, and you bump his hip with your elbow and return your attention to the front of the house

“Go into the pouch next to my extra magazines.” 

You can sense rather than see his frown. 

“Just trust me. Open it.” 

His left hand finds your belt while he continues to scan the area, unclipping the pouch without looking. You hear a huff of laughter as he finds what you left for him. 

“Put one in your right ear and don’t argue with me.” Your voice is still low, but you dropped into the tone you learned from him, only half-joking. 

He rolls his eyes and stuffs the foam earplug in his bad ear before unholstering his weapon. 

“Door,” you warn as the front screen opens.  

“Chloe. Drop the gun.” Aaron’s voice is heavy with authority, and the sheriff backs him up. 

The world slows down when she raises the gun toward you all, and the sheriff fires. Despite the earplug, Aaron immediately collapses, dropping his service weapon at your feet and covering his ears with his hands. You holster your weapon and turn toward him on sheer instinct. 

You retrieve the gun, checking the safety and slipping it into your waistband. When you return your attention to him, he’s almost folded completely into himself, pained groans leaving him. Rossi beat you to him, half-holding him up, but he shifts Aaron to you when you reach them both. 

“Aaron.” You wrap him in your arms and he takes some of his weight as his feet get back under him. He leans into you, and you do your best to support him. “Hotch, are you okay?”

He reaches out, finding your arm and gripping tight. You stay steady, almost in tears. It’s agonizing to see him in pain. 

“I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Liar.

+++

The next day, it’s decided he’ll drive one of the cars home, instead of taking the plane. 

You laugh as Derek throws the keys at Spencer. Hotch steps up beside you, throwing his go bag in one of the cars. Going out on a bit of a limb, you ask, “Want any company?” You keep your voice low, just in case anyone’s listening. 

First of all, you don’t want to out yourself in front of your colleagues - they all know how much you care about him and you don’t want them getting any ideas. Second of all, you know how Hotch gets when he’s alone too long. 

He raises his eyebrows for a second, but Dave interrupts his thought before he can share it with you. “Why don’t you two drive together? It’ll be a better trip with some company and you can’t stand the rest of us for more than three hours at a time.” 

Hotch snorts. “Fine.” He looks over at you and you shrug and throw your go bag in the backseat with his. 

“I’m good with that. What are you thinkin’? Straight through, or are we taking a the scenic route?”

Dave pipes in again. “I think a couple of days could do you both some good. It’s been a long few weeks.” 

You and Hotch look at each other. You look back at Dave. “Good idea. See you Tuesday?”

He nods and joins the rest of the team in the other car, slipping into the passenger seat. 

+++

The car is quiet for the first half hour or so. You’re driving - it’s the only way Aaron can hear you in the car, so you’ll probably nap or post up in the backseat when it’s his turn to take the wheel. 

You glance over at him before you hit the state line. “You’re thinking very loudly over there.” 

A smile pulls at his lips. The heel of his hand supports his cheekbone as his elbow rests on the window ledge. “Am I?”

“Mhmm.” 

He shrugs a little. “It’s weird not driving.” 

“Ah. So that’s why you’ve been silent for the last…” you check the clock on the dash, “thirty nine minutes.” You’re teasing him and he knows it, but it’s also loaded with questions. 

There’s silence, and you wait for him. It’s another thing you’ve learned about him in the last year. Sometimes he’s quiet, but he never avoids you for long. 

“I’m thinking about Kate.” 

There he is. 

You prompt him a little, intrinsically knowing he needs a direction. “Did she have family?”

He nods. “An older sister. She’s flying in from London for the service, but their parents are gone and she wasn’t married, so...that’s it.” 

Still looking at the road, you reach out, wrapping your fingers around his forearm. “I’m so sorry, Aaron.” 

His hand covers yours for a second. “Thanks.”

You pull back, adjusting your grip on the wheel. A question pushes at your lips, but you roll it around in your head before you really consider asking it aloud. 

“You can ask.” 

Your head whips toward him for just a moment. “What?”

“You can ask,” he repeats, the shadow of a smile crossing his face. “I know you want to.”

You concede with a little chuff. “Fine. What happened between you and Kate?” 

“In what sense?” He’s totally fucking with you, and you shove at his shoulder. 

“You know exactly what I mean.” 

He shakes his head. “Alright, fine. There was…” he searches, “a moment when she and I were finished working together on the Scotland Yard case that something...happened.” 

“Something?”

“Well,” he amends, “nothing actually happened, but let’s just say she had a couple too many and made her intentions very clear.” 

Can’t blame her for that one. 

Yeah, and that’s why we don’t get drunk with everyone else. Shit happens. 

You glanced at him, suppressing a smile. “So what happened?”

He shakes his head, and there’s a sort of dry humor in his voice when he answers,“Obviously, she was pretty out of it, so I took her back to her place and made sure she was settled for the night with a glass of water and some aspirin.” A smile cuts through his huff of laughter. You’re not surprised to hear mourning in it, too. “She was miserable in the morning, and called me to ask what happened the night before. I may have...very loosely implied that something small might have happened, just to save her the embarrassment.” 

He pauses, and you know he’s a little reluctant to be this vulnerable - you’re almost sure he never expected to tell this story to anyone, let alone you. 

“The attraction was mutual, so I didn’t feel too bad about omitting the consequences of her…” he searches for a word again, “forwardness. It was - is - something I respect about her both personally and professionally.” 

“Did you ever tell Haley?”

He shook his head. “I told her the truth - that she needed some help getting home, I set her up for the night, and came right back. She wasn’t thrilled, but she and Kate got on well enough that she didn’t mind too much. I think she was more annoyed that I got home so late even without a case, now that I’m thinking about it.” 

You laugh a little. “That sounds like her.” 

“She wasn't always like this, you know.” His voice takes on something a little more pensive, and you settle deeper into your seat to let him know you’re listening, even if your eyes hardly stray from the road. “We had a ridiculous amount of fun together when we were younger - first married, I was fresh out of law school, everything ahead of us, and all that.” He heaves a sigh. “It’s really only since Jack was born that things got...bad.”

He pauses, thinking for a moment. “I wish I could explain the work to her - I sometimes wish she could see it, even though I never actually want her to see the things we see every day.”

You keep your voice light, understanding. “I get that. It can’t be easy knowing that we’re your family, too, and even that’s difficult to explain.” 

There’s silence, and you know there’s a tacit agreement in it. 

His next comment comes a little from left field, but it makes you smile. “She likes you, by the way. She really does.” 

“Good.” You glance over at him. “I’m glad.” 

There’s something he wants to say, and you raise your eyebrows expectantly, knowing he can see it in your profile. 

“Would you want to come over sometime and spend some time with Jack? I -” he exhales, and tries again. “It’s sometimes...weird to have him all to myself.” He laughs a little. “I almost don’t know what to do with him all day when it’s just the two of us.” 

A real smile breaks across your face. “I’d love to.” 

He nods, satisfied with himself. “It’ll be nice for Haley to see you as well. I know she feels a little cut off these days.” 

“Understandable.” 

Another bout of silence fills the car. It’s comfortable. Safe. 

“Thank you,” he says, after a long while. 

You look over, letting your eyes wander down his profile for a moment. “Of course.” 

+++

You stay at a little motel off the highway, pulling over after about four hours on the road. It’s only a little ways back to Fairfax, where you’ll drop him off at home before returning the car to Quantico, but Rossi’s right - it’s nice to take some time. 

In two separate double beds across the room from each other, you wish each other good night in the dark. 

+++

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