#i hope leliana gets a bundle and i hope zevran gets both i really do

[leliwardens]

i've posted about this aways back but anytime i think about it i get so frustrated lol.

so sometime ago gaider posted on bsky that cassandra was the top romance by a wide margin and dorian is the lowest by a wide margin, with another article that gaider said dorian also was put in the party the least. these stats don't surprise me, despite what the fandom might think. but the point is dorian statistically proven to be the least popular romance and in spite of that, he has received merch, as has many other (presumably) top romance options (cassandra, morrigan) or simply fan favorites (varric, cullen, alistair).

but what get me is with this confirmation of dorian's stats, this would mean every other inq romance option is above him (even if we don't know the actual order), yet there are notable ones left behind: sera and josephine. sera had an official bust, yet nothing romance-focused, and josephine hasn't had anything that wasn't paired with the other advisors (yet cullen has a plush and got his coin on his own...) including romance-focused. blackwall is also up there, even though he has a statue, he has nothing romance-focused either. but he really seems like an outlier when it comes to het male romance options when you start to really look at what groups get left out.

for another example, despite the fact leliana is a main character in two games and a romance in one (and i have to assume second picked but i have no proof), only after a decade is she getting a plush, though she did fairly get merch when inq first came out, but nothing after that that wasn't tied to the advisors and nothing romance-focused until the plush. isabela had a titan figure and just got a romance bundle this year, but i truly think that's because of her cameo in vg. merrill has gotten nothing while fenris has at least gotten a plush. anders, zevran, and sebastian have received nothing either, despite them (again no proof just assuming) the least picked romance options (or close to it between anders and sebastian) and being a fan favorite in the case of zevran.

it's just, shitty, the queer women are left behind despite the fact they're on par or could be considered above their male counterparts. i hope they still release bundles and plushies, and vg breaks the trend too, but even if vg does i feel that's more because they're all queer so by design it wouldn't be the same as actively excluding the limited queer women in other games. :/

[maiden-of-wolves]

maybe one of those^^: ♥ Fenris/Ariel, ♧ Ariel/Zev, ♘ Zev/Fen

I chose to do the first two because I couldn’t think of how to do the last one. Sorry! T_T

♥ - reacting to the other one crying about something - Fenris x Ariel

Both these drabbles got way far away from me, so for mercy to those on mobile, they’re under the cut:

He had never seen her cry. He’d known that she did - seeing her puffy eyes and flushed face as she sat down to their tutoring sessions with a bright smile that didn’t reach her eyes - but it had never been in front of him. There were only three people in Thedas who had seen tears fall from the eyes of the Inquisition’s “Cultural Strategist”: Leliana, Zevran and the Inquisitor herself. He had never asked why, as he knew how being so vulnerable in front of someone else was terribly difficult, but somewhere deep in his heart he felt… hurt? He helped her, tutored her, was her friend… and yet, she was always strong in front of him. Maybe tired, jaded even, but never sad.

And yet, here she was. In the library, sitting across from him in a late-night reading tutoring session, the only noise being her chocked sobs as she did her best to hold them back. She had seen something, read something, that broke her. Fenris wasn’t sure what it was, but considering he knew what the book she had been working with was about, it wasn’t an intense moral quandary or the death of an innocent animal.

It had only been a few moments, but it felt like hours as she seemed to remember where she was, what she had been doing and reacting to that realization.

“Oh, fuck. I”m sorry-” She started to move, pull up her hands to wipe at her face but found one of her hands unable to move.

Fenris didn’t even realize he had moved, and for a second he glanced at his hand - wrapped tightly around Ariel’s wrist - and thought about letting go. “It’s alright,” is all he offered as he turned his gaze to her unsteady eyes.

“No, it’s not,” she said in a shaky sigh, shaking her head. Even so, several tears fell from her eyes as she forced herself to mark her place in the book she had been reading. She wiped at her eyes with her free hand.

Fenris wasn’t sure why he hadn’t yet released her. “You always ask me if I want to talk,” he said. “Do you?”

That seemed to shock her a bit. Another tear slipped from her eye as she blinked frantically, like he’d caught her off guard. The moment passed quickly, however, dissolving into the supportive smile that she always had for him even as she sniffed back the results of her tears. “I talk all the time!” she gasped with a breathless laugh. “No, I’m good,” she added with a sharp shake of her head.

“You don’t look ‘good’.”

He watched her swallow, the smile fading and replaced with a tight line that better matched her watery eyes. After a moment, she spoke up again with a tiny voice that he’d never heard from her before. “You have enough pain in your life. I don’t need to add to it.”

She pulled against his grip for the first time as she stood and he let her go with minimal resistance. Not two steps away, however, he stood so carefully that he must have thought she would flee with the slightest noise.

She waved one hand at him. “No, no. Sit. I’m fine, I swear!” she gasped, wiping at her eyes only twice more before turning back around and offering him that damned smile.

“You’re an awful liar,” is all he said as he approached, brows knitted.

It first she leaned back, as if she were scared of his approach, but she didn’t actually walk away or try to stop him as he stopped in front of her. In a moment his palms were on her jaw and cheekbones to gently encourage her to actually look at him.

They exchanged a long stare before Ariel simply let out a choked sob and as she pushed forward he released her face. The embrace she gave him was bordering on uncomfortably tight, fingers gripping at his tunic like it was a lifeline in the ocean, but Fenris didn’t stop her.

She shook, nearly silent even as she was clearly letting herself cry again while she buried her face in his tunic. In turn, it shook him a little. Is this why people didn’t know she cried? She was so quiet, as if she’d been reprimanded for crying when she was young and never got out of the habit. Or she really thought that either he couldn’t handle it or that her pain wasn’t worth his time. Either sentiment was disturbing. He pulled up a hand, thinking to pat or rub gently at her shoulders or something, but thought better of it and decided to fully embrace her in return.

They were both glad that no one else was in the library and their only company was the tiny, far-off sound of a brush or a pen from the study several stories below.

                                                           ~*~

♧  - one character playing with the other’s hair

Ariel x Zevran

It was concerning at first, that she sat alone like that. That she wasn’t bundling up like some people, like Zevran himself, often did. Eventually, though he learned that it was normal for her. It was helpful for her to be alone. Yet, he couldn’t quite leave her alone. At least not for long.

Today they sat at least a story above the clinic, Ariel listening to her light tablet through those ear attachments and Zevran simply enjoying watching her, the scenery and people watching those down below in Haven. He had noticed that she would look at him, but quickly look away once they actually touched gazes. He let it go, as it was something he had long since gotten used to from her.

After a time he was so focused on an exchange between the quartermaster and a vendor that he didn’t even realize that she’d taken her attachments out and leaned over to him. It was only when she gently touched the braid by his ear that he noticed and for a split second his hand moved to a hidden blade. A habit he would likely never break. Overall he was still and hoped that she didn’t notice the reflex, or at least wouldn’t comment and be concerned.

Once it was clear she was smiling fondly as she traced the pattern, he spoke up. “Grow yours out and I’ll braid it for you, if you’d like,” he offered with a smile.

She immediately jerked her hand back and blushed. “Sorry! I should’ve at least asked…”

“I don’t mind in the least,” he assured her with a small shake of his head. “Your touch was so light I doubt anyone that wasn’t trained to notice such things would have. Nevermind that you’d already touched me in far more places than that.”

She made a soft noise that bordered on an insulted scoff, turning back to look away though she didn’t put her attachments back in to attempt to hide her quickly heating face. After a moment, she spoke up again but didn’t look at him. “Long hair’s a lot of work. I remember… I used to have it super long, down my whole back.”

He merely hummed in response at first, then made a move to playfully lay his fingers over hers on the ground between them and drumming them. Her attention jerked to him immediately, light flush on her face and eyes wide. This woman was so touch-starved it saddened him. “Were you ever taught to braid?”

“A… a long time ago,” she offered quietly, still flicking her gaze to their hands even though he had stopped moving his.

“Would you like to try with mine?”

“Yours?” she echoed incredulously, brow quirking so high it got lost in her bangs.

“Have those ear attachments ruined your hearing? To not hear me so close–”

“They’re earbuds and I did hear you,” she huffed. To which he simply chuckled. “I just…” she began, pausing to swallow. “Are you sure?”

“If you know how to braid, you can also undo them, no?”

“Yeah…”

“So there is no problem. If you make a mistake, simply undo it. You like working with your hands, yes?”

“I guess…?”

She was just so terribly unsure of herself. Zevran had seen her grow so much even in the short time they’d known each other and yet she continued to feel this way about herself. It astounded him. “Then put your light tablet and earbuds away and braid.”

She sat there, blinking, for a few long moments of silence before noting in a mutinous mutter, “it’s a phone.” Despite her tone, she put it away in her knapsack and moved to sit closer as well as facing him. She carefully pulled her hands up, pausing before even touching his hair. “Just don’t get mad if I give you tangles…”

“You won’t,” he assured her, a satisfied smile spreading across his lips as he settled back into his people watching. He wish he had a mirror to watch her concentrate as she began braiding. She was strangely adorable when she focused on treating those in the clinic. He could only imagine how impressive she’d been when confident. One day. One day…

[fandomn00blr]

Kieran

I’m writing this Alistair and Morrigan co-parenting situation in reverse order. Like most things I write.

Here’s a thing I just wrote today because I guess I needed a good cry...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300158

During Awakening, when King Alistair comes to visit Vigil’s Keep to give his “approval” of the Warden operations...he actually has another reason for visiting.

...

“You have a son,” Solona whispered, motioning for Alistair to come and see for himself as Anders pushed his way out of the little room, looking a bit miffed.

“Don’t get his hopes up...” Morrigan muttered, ignoring Alistair so she could glare suspiciously at Anders on his way out.

Alistair, on the other hand, was beaming. “We have a son?!”

Morrigan nodded slowly, trying hard to hide the relief that still flooded through her now that the effort of labor was past. She looked up at him with a hesitant fondness, and Solona smiled to herself before ducking back out of the room to give them a few moments alone and to speak with Anders.

He was waiting impatiently outside and he shook his head as soon as the door was shut behind her. "She says she doesn't need my 'Chantry magic'...I tried to explain to her that I am also an apostate, not some extension of the church, but --"

"But everything is well…?" Solona asked, unsurprised that Morrigan would refuse his attention or care. He was a stranger to her, after all. And the fewer people who knew about her and her child, the better, in her mind.

"As far as I can tell, mother and baby seem quite healthy. But the child has an odd...aura to him? He barely cried at all."

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about!" Solona said cheerfully.

Far too cheerfully. It wasn't like her at all, and Anders raised his eyebrows in question. He knew she was hiding something.

The whole situation had been bizarre. The way she’d been hidden away below the Keep under cover of night. The way he’d been sworn to secrecy, “no matter what you see…” as though she’d been expecting something horrific to burst out of this woman’s womb. And now the newly-annointed King of Ferelden showing up for a visit, claiming to be the father. He knew Solona and her companions had been through some shit during the Blight, but he couldn’t imagine what all of the fuss could’ve been about if two of them had simply produced a child. Kings had bastards all the time. It was now public knowledge that this King was one himself.

"Morrigan is a rather old soul herself…" she added quickly as some kind of explanation, before shooing him along the tunnel that led back up to the Keep. “And a witch, so I’m sure she’s got everything from here…thank you! And remember...no blabbing about this to anyone.”

“You must think so little of me, Sol. Patient confidentiality is something I hold to be sacred.”

“I know you love to gossip.”

...

“Would you like to hold the child?” Morrigan asked as Alistair stood staring in awe at them like he’d just walked in on something he shouldn’t have. He’d been invited, he had to keep reminding himself. She’d wanted him to come.

“Can I…?” He already looked completely smitten with the son he was not to have any part in raising.

“If you can resist growing too attached to him.”

Too late, he thought, but didn’t dare to say it aloud, for fear she’d rescind the offer.

“As soon as I have recovered, I will be leaving this place. Solona has been generous in offering us this temporary sanctuary, but we cannot linger. Her healer already senses that there is something unique about him.”

"I have a Templar in my company who would happily deal with the mage for us,” Alistair laughed, only half-joking, as Morrigan passed the little bundle carefully into his arms. “Just to keep you both safe…" he cooed as the baby squirmed, sensing his apprehensions through the sarcasm.

But he fit so naturally into the crook of his elbow that Alistair’s fears and anxieties about the well-being of this child quickly gave way to something far more powerful. As he dared to look down at him, he was certain he was the most miraculous, perfect, wonderful, precious thing he’d ever seen.

“What shall we call you, little one?” he asked the baby. “Alistair, Jr.?”

Morrigan groaned. “He shall not be named after a Fereldan dog lord.”

“Of course not," Alistair chuckled. "There will be bigger and better things for you…”

“His name is Kieran.”

“Oh?”

“Do you not approve?”

“No. I mean, yes. I -- it’s a good name...I like it.” He peered at the infant and smiled. And his heart nearly broke at the thought of ever letting go of him. Stroking the knuckle of his pinky gently down his cheek, he whispered, “Kieran…”

The baby turned toward his finger, his tiny mouth searching hungrily for a nipple.

“He wishes to feed.”

Alistair sighed heavily. He knew this very well could be the last time he would ever get to see his son. Morrigan had said she would write, but visits were an unlikely possibility. Still, at least she’d allowed him to see him this once. He should be grateful for this moment. He didn’t dare to allow himself to hope...

He handed the baby reluctantly back to his mother and decided to give them some privacy as Morrigan pulled her shawl down off her shoulder and allowed the baby to find her breast. As soon as he was out the door, he felt ridiculous about it, and had half a mind to march right back into the room and crawl into bed with them, refusing to leave. But Solona was waiting for him outside, her own brows furrowed in concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I think so."

She tilted her head. She knew him better than this.

"No, of course not! But I suppose I will have to be."

“Are you happy you came?”

“Yes. He’s...perfect. I just...”

“He is pretty fucking cute,” she laughed. “Almost makes me want to have one someday…but Sweens will have to do for now.”

Alistair shook his head sadly, refusing to look up into her eyes. “I don’t know how I can go back and just pretend he doesn’t exist. I can't even hate her for this. Because she's right. Please don't ever tell her I said that...but --”

“I’m sorry, Alistair…”

“She promised she would write.”

“I’ll remind her of that.”

“And if she doesn’t...will you…? I mean, I know she’s not going to stay here with you, but I imagine she’ll keep in touch with you, if nothing else.”

Solona nodded. “I will.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you…” she started. “Without this…”

“I don’t even want to think about that. We are all somehow alive. That’s all that matters. He is healthy and he is beautiful. And Solona...”

"Hmmm?"

He finally looked up at her. “I have a son!"

It was then that the tears he'd been trying so hard to keep in check finally began to flow.

She could barely stand to see him like this. It was a brutal reminder of how young he was...how young they all were...and to have been through so much already. So much responsibility foisted upon them. And now this...

She pulled him into her arms and he buried his face in her neck. Like he used to on the really hard nights. But on those nights, at least she’d had Leliana with her to help comfort him. Or to comfort her. She somehow always knew what to say. What to do. To make everything seem less hopeless. And Wynne. And Zevran. And Shale. And even Sten.

She realized how alone all of them were, scattered across Thedas, each of them doing their part to save the world that refused to stay fixed. She actually longed for the days of the Blight, when they could at least all still be together at camp. Sobbing, and laughing, and eating and drinking, and taking turns comforting one another in the darkness.

"I love you…" he sobbed. "But I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this."

"I know. But saving you was worth it," she murmured into the top of his head, squeezing him tight as his fingers dug into her mail and clenched at desperate fistfuls of silverite. “Even if you hate me.”

"I...have to go," he sniffed, pulling away from her.

"Yes. It was good of you to check in on us here in Amaranthine, your Highness…” she winced. Even though she’d meant it as a joke, she knew it was still painful for him to hear the title that had been mostly forced upon him. Especially coming from her.

"I want to stay here.”

"I know."

"But I can't."

"She knows, too, by the way." Solona tried to assure him, though she didn’t really know if this was a comfort to him. “She doesn’t hate you, either.”

"What about Kieran?"

"He'll grow up knowing his father wanted very much to be a part of his life."

"How do you know that?"

"The same way you know…"

He wiped the rest of his tears on the sleeve of his royal furs and turned to go without another word.

Solona slumped back against the cold stone wall, wrestling her own sobs back into her throat.

She had some new recruits who had yet to undergo the Joining waiting for her now that they’d received the King’s approval of their operations here. Anders, obviously, she’d known since she was a child, and Nathaniel Howe, who had initially come seeking vengeance for the death of his despicable father, and somehow been convinced to join their cause instead. But she hadn’t even bothered to learn the others’ names. No point, really, until they’d survived the ritual. A dwarf from the Legion of the Dead, a Dalish witch, a corpse inhabited by a spirit of Justice...at least he was already dead, she supposed, with a shrug as she smoothed out her mail and steeled her expression before heading up to the Keep to prepare the Darkspawn blood she’d sent them out to retrieve with Oghren as their guide. Just as Duncan had done. Her job, she realized with a shaky sigh, now that she'd stopped a Blight, and made Alistair King, and sent Leliana to serve the Divine, and wished the others well on their own personal quests for atonement and absolution, would be to carry on where Duncan had left off.