#i hope i'm not dying. i'm really good at taking my wife to the hospital but who would take ME to the hospital | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

athymelyreply · 2 years ago

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I'm sorry you're not feeling well!! Bringing you some soup and tea and a hug 🫂

Tell me about the Gawain and the Green Knight AU, I'm dying to know 👀

OMG OMG SO

There’s sooo many ways a green knight au could go. Obviously Hob is Gawain in this au and it could go one of a few ways

I’ll finish one version here and reblog this post with the others

also thank you so much you really are the best and the soup, tea,and opportunity to be insane about this au means the world to me. <3

fist: hobletheros+dreamling

hob is at the knightly Christmas party or whatever, destruction comes in and hobs knees go weak because “oh my god I want him to rail me” when the game is proposed Hob does the whole thing with destruction’s decapitation and is conflicted about it but then, as with the og story destruction picks up his head and tells him that he’ll see Hob next year. He leaves with a wink and Hob covered in destructions blood and thinks he might be a little in love (the boy falls fast).

a year goes by and he sets out on his pilgrimage to the green knights home. Our dear Hob is exhilarated and terrified and all around conflicted. He’ll get to see destruction again but in the same breath it’s his death sentence. Hob loves life, but if he must perish, he thinks maybe death at the hand of the green knight isn’t the worst way to go, maybe he’ll even get a kiss before he’s dead. his journey takes him to the castle of a man named Oletheros and his wife. The man is oddly reminiscent of the knight from the party, however Hob writes it off as him just feeling something for both the knight and this man. the lord of the castle makes the same deal as the original story: Hob may have whatever lord oletheros catches while hunting, on the condition that Hob give him anything he receives during the day. hob accepts. The wife tries to seduce Hob, telling him she wants him desperately. For extra fun the wife is fem! Dream. She’s dark and alluring and Hob can’t help but be drawn to her, but he knows it would be wrong to disrespect his host in that way, restraining his desire and instead accepting only one single kiss from dream (and oh her lips are so sweet, tasting of white wine and stars and the feeling of flying)

when lord oletheros returns with a deer, Hob gives him a kiss in return, finding himself falling into the lord’s mouth, a kiss with the feel of oak and passion and campfire. The lord welcomes his lips, pulls him into the kiss. Hob pulls himself away with a gasp and tries to continue on, doing his best not to look shaken.

the next day Hob allows himself 2 kisses from dream, both to taste the lord’s mouth and hers but one more time. Selfish he knows, but he is a hedonistic creature, and if these are to be his last few days alive, let them be good ones. Lord oletheros returns with a boar this time. Kisses are traded and Hob feels as if he’s drowning with nowhere to turn. He cannot break hospitality but gods with dream staring like that from under her eyelashes, and oletheros’s rough hands on him he feels as if he might go insane. the last day dream approaches him with a look that has Hob burning for her. Three kisses. It’s so good he could cry. And he does, telling her that he goes to his death on the morrow, and he has no choice but to leave. Dream brings a green sash, saying it will keep him from harm, and not to tell her husband about it, so he wont need to give it to him. the lord returns yet again bearing a fox this time. Kisses exchanged and Hob feels all tied up in knots, awaiting his death at the hands of that strange and handsome knight, and readying himself to leave behind the lord and his wife, both of which he feels he could love, maybe already does, but he cannot admit that just to leave them the next day. he bids them goodbye the next morning, taking the sash and hoping against hope that it will protect him and he can return to them. In the clearing with the green knight he kneels and presents his neck, but when the knight raises his axe Hob flinches. He still wishes to live. The knight scolds Hob for his cowardice in that incredible voice of his and so Hob steels himself, picturing the the faces of the lord, the knight, and the lady. If he should die it will be with love. He prepares for the blade to fall and

A gentle tap at the back of his neck. Only a small trickle of blood. then he feels a hand reach to help him stand. Destruction helps him to his feet and caresses hob’s cheek, lifting the little knights eyes to meet his. He speaks gently, saying that “that’s it, darling, that’s all there is. Come now, we really must fix that cut of yours.” He bandages the nick on Hob’s neck, explaining that his name is destruction, and he was lord oletheros. He tells Hob what a darling boy he is, what a good little knight, he soothes him. And Dream emerges from the trees, takes Hob’s teary face in his hands and kisses him. then they both get to soft dom the shit out of him and Hob gets to cry with relief and joy.

#dreamling #hobletheros #my writing #but not really writing #green knight au #You’re the best Aquila #You’ve got mail!

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shelbgrey · 2 years ago

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Hi! Don't know if you're taking requests but I read your Greys fic 'that's why i don't go to the gym' and was thinking of a sibling!Reader or spouse!Reader getting admitted for some sort of brain injury/ car crash and Derek finding out as he is their doctor.

If you're not taking request, feel free to ignore this! Have a great day!

Hope you like it. Thanks for the request buddie😊

The Ballad of jayne(Derek Shepherd)

Paring: Derek Shepherd x Wife!Reader

Summary: after an argument Derek's wife gets in a car crash due to a storm and drunk driver. Derek doesn't know he's her doctor till last minute.

Warnings: blood, language, car crashes. Not edited.

Greys MasterList

“She was always something special

Diamond shining bright in the rain

Everybody dreams of angels

No one would ever know

How much I love you so”

Looking back now you can't even remember what started the argument. All you could remember it involved the treatment of a patient. That didn't really matter now, during your break you clocked out and decided to drive home.

It was poring down rain, but that wasn't unusual in Seattle I'm used to driving in the rain but as drove down the street I felt uneasy. I didn't know if was the feeling of something bad was gonna happen or the pure anger and remorse of the things me and derek said to each other. We're not the type of couple to fight very often, but tonight was one of those nights.

My thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the brightness of a Stranger's headlights swerving left and right behind me. The lights danced behind me like crazy and shined in my review mirror. The car picked up speed making my stomach turn. I looked both ways and sped up into another laine.

“come, on” I whimpered as the car slid back my direction. I sped up a bit as horns honked at the car I was fighting to avoid. Suddenly the tiers screeched and slid it the side. I gasped as stomped on the brakes. The car flew forward and slid left right into my car.

My heart stopped as I felt my car fly and did a flip into a ditch on the side of the road. I gasped in pain then it all went black as my car landed upside down.

--------(3rd pov)--------

Ambulance sirens filled the area and cops flew to the seen. Y/n was in between concessions and could barely hold onto the seat of the car that was upside down. Tears and blood streamed down her face as her right leg and head throbbed.

“help me” she whimpered.

A young paramedic quickly ran to the car and knelt down to look in the window. “h-hay... Everything is gonna be okay”

“I want Derek” y/n cried out losing consciousness. Her mind went to Derek afraid of there last encounter would be a fight.

“where's Derek?” the paramedic reminded calm and gave her a reassuring smile. “well, we will take you to him, is he your husband?” he asked. She cried and nodded as the pain rised. The paramedic nodded “okay, but first we have to get you out" he carefully opened the driver side door.

“do you trust me?” y/n nodded as the tears got heavier. He smiled. "good.. I'm Tom" he quickly stood up and shouted for the other paramedics and a strecher.

“I'm gonna die” y/n cried. Tom shook his head. “no one is dying”

Y/n nodded still not fully convinced. As the sounds of equipment and metal being cut around her she thought realized how scared she was of dying. Her and her friends family had too many close calls. What if this was the end. She's was afraid of dying, afraid if anyone would care, afraid of leaving Derek and their twins behind.

I'm sorry Derek

It went black again as the firefighters successfully cut the car door off and the paramedics pulled her out to quickly stop the bleeding.

--------(Derek's pov)--------

“Hey, this is y/n I'm probably in surgery or sleeping.. Leave a message and I'll get back to you”

I sighed as I got her voice mail once again. She wasn't answering her phone or pages, which was unusual. My chest tightened as I walked around her usual spots in the hospital and found nothing. On top of that no one has seen her since the hour before our argument.

Damn, I had no right to blow up on her. It was stupid. I deserve her silent treatment of whatever this was but now it was scaring the shit of me. I tried her cell once more but I got her voice mail again.

I shuttered as millions of sanaros(mostly negative) play in my head as I roamed the halls. I retraced mysteps until I came a crossed Meredith. Those two being sisters in all have been glued to the hip since intern year. If anyone knew anything it'll be her.

“Hey, Mer have you seeing your Sister?” Meredith looked up from her chart and gave me a concerned look at.

“I figured she'd be with you?” I shook my head with regret. If I didn't yell at her she'd be here I thought.

“maybe she's getting the twins” Mer suggests. I shook my head no. I had already checked there. Before she could suggest anything else Meredith's pager went off. She looked down and saw it was a 911

“crap, I got to go” she padded my shoulder and ran off. I sighed and went to the ER with a sliver of hope she was down there with April or Owen.

As I stepped out of the elevator I saw Amelia and a few others race with a strecher that was caring what looked like a car crash victim. I walked over and saw my sister Calling For a head CT for the male victim. She looked up and saw me.

“there's another one” she said pointing to the left. I looked over and saw the group was shouting and frantically moving around the blood soaked victim. I quickly put on some gloves and raced over were Richard and Meredith was.

“What do we got” I asked. Merdith stopped and looked up at me with tears streaming down her face. My eyes then looked to Owen who was stopping the bleeding with the same look on his face.

When I got closer my life crumbled to the ground. It was y/n. The woman who always had my back and the person I considered my partner in crime was laying on the stretcher.

Everything thing felt numb and the sounds were muffled as I pushed koracick out of the way. My body ran on audio pilot as I checked her eyes and head.

“Derek” Richard exlamims but I ignored him.

“Derek!” he snapped. I looked back at him with hate. “Derek we got it... Step away” he continued.

Koracick tried to get back in but I snapped. “you toach her, it'll be the last thing you'll ever do” he put his hands up in defense and backed up. Him and y/n were friends but I couldn't stand the guy. And if anyone was gonna even get near her brain it's gonna be me...No matter how much it hurt.

I looked around and snapped again. “What are you all standing around for!? She's needs a CT scan, now!” I got ahold of the strecher and raced down the hallway with Meredith and Bailey on my tail.

The tension highlighted as I scrubbed my hands in the sink. I felt the tears prick my eyes as the realization seemed to fall on me like a tone of bricks. I gripped the sink as the the thoughts of fixing the brain bleed ran through my head.

“Derek... If you don't want-” Owen said coming in but I slammed the faucet handle shutting the water off. “don't do anything stupid to her leg” I snapped and walked into the OR.

I sighed and stood next to her holding her hand as she went under anastasia. I gave it one last squeeze as moved up to her head. “it's a beautiful day to save lives” I mumbled.

"oh shit.. Mer's up there" Mark whispered he once noticed she was up in the gallery. He just looked up for a second and he wished he didn't. The realization That he was operating on his best friends wife, practically sister-in-law finally hit. "this is fucked up... This wasn't supposed to happen" he whispered as he watched Bailey dug into her chest.

“shut up Mark” Derek mumbled as he stared into the one Brian he never imagined he would touch or even see.

--------(3rd pov)--------

As the heart monitor beeped Derek silently watched her. “come on baby” he mumbled as he gently held her hand.

“I'm so sorry, come back to me” he mumbled as he held her cold hand his lips and kissed it gently.

She slightly shifted at his touch and her eyes fluttered open. He quickly shot up from his seat next to her and clicked on his flashlight checking her eyes. To his releaf everything was good.

“hay y/n.. Can you say something?” he asked softly. She let out a shaky breath and turned her head towards him. “ouch” she reached up to rub her forehead and to her surprise she felt bandges.

“what happened?” she asked.

“you were in an accident” tears pricked her eyes as flashes of the insadent replayed in her head. “it hurts” she cried. Derek took her hand and sat on her bed.

“your okay now... Your safe” he whispered. Tears pricked his eyes as he moved closer and rested his forehead gently on hers as relief washed over him.

“I'm so sorry... I thought I lost you and-” he started to ramble but her stopped once y/n's hands moved to the sides of his face cradling his face.

“shh.. It's okay, we're okay” she whispered as she wiped away his tears. “I had to operate on you and it was awful” he mumbled.

“it's okay now” she said as she slowly moved to the side and padded the empty area. Derek carefully climbed in the bed avoiding touching any tender spots on her body.

“just hold me please” she asked softly. Derek wrapped his arms around her gently as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you” he mumbled and leaned down softly kissing her.

“I love you too” she mumbled as she drift off to sleep. Derek on the other hand just watched her like a hawk. He wasn't gonna risk any post-surgery problems or risk losing her again. The anxiety kept him awake but in the end he knew she was okay. They were both okay and that all that mattered.

#Derek shepherd x reader #derek shepherd imagines #greys anatomy #derek shepherd #greys anatomy imagines #greys #Patrick Dempsey #Meredith Grey #mark sloan x reader #mark sloan imagines

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wonderlandleighleigh · 3 years ago

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Prompt: The nightmares keep coming back about that night. It could have ended in a million different scenarios, but the worst ones end with her dying. Lenny is having trouble sleeping because he just can’t deal with the nightmares surrounding Midge’s accident and he finally tells someone what’s been going on.

This turned into a whole thing. Takes place after "A Very Weissman Passover."

She dies on the way to the hospital, holding his hand, and life as he knows it feels over.

He numbs the pain with more drugs. More booze, until the funeral.

He sits in the back of the synagogue, fidgeting, hoping no one notices he's here, and he sits through the entire service, listening to person after person go up to the Bima and talk about her as if any of them really knew her.

Really saw Miriam Weissman for who she really was.

Joel talks a bunch of bullshit. About the kind of wife and mother she'd been when he was cheating on her. Lying about who he really was. Hurting her in increments until the final blow.

Imogene tells stories of a deep, lasting friendship. Fine. A small piece of who she was.

Noah gets close. He talks about how kind, and weird and funny his sister was. Brave and a little nuts.

Susie doesn't get invited to speak which is bullshit. If anyone knew Midge it was her.

It's a blur, getting from the temple to the burial, and when it comes time to shovel dirt onto the lowered casket, he's the first one up, grabbing one of the five implements set out to do so.

Jewish tradition dictates that you are buried by your loved ones. That each family member and friend have a turn.

But Lenny doesn't stop at one.

He keeps shoveling, burying her his own damn self because it's the least he can fucking do.

No one stops him. Noah and Abe join him. Susie, too. Helping to lay her to rest, and Lenny doesn't even realize he's crying until his tears are staining Abe's sweater, and Midge's father is embracing him as if he were his own.

And when he wakes up, sweat drenched and panicked in this new apartment he's still getting used to, he hurls himself out of bed and into the bathroom, scrambling for the bag he keeps in the medicine cabinet.

Except he doesn't anymore because he fucking quit.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

He keeps looking because maybe Rose missed some when she stole his drugs all those months ago (on an entirely other apartment but logic has no place here), but no joy, and he sits on the floor, willing himself to calm the fuck down.

He's had the same dream every night for a week, since Passover, and he cannot take it any fucking more.

He cleans up and hits the bar, and pounds three shots of whiskey silently, and the beginnings of the numbness feel good. Not comforting in the same way as the dope, but better than cold sobriety.

He tenses when someone taps his shoulder, and he's about to tell whoever is about to say "aren't you Lenny Bruce?" To fuck off, but when he turns around, he finds the tired, sheepish face of Noah Weissman.

He gestures towards the seat next to him, and Noah takes it, ordering a shot of vodka with Tabasco sauce in it.

"I'm impressed," Lenny admits.

"Just don't tell my wife," Noah says, as he downs the shot and shakes out his head. "I just had a very bad work thing." He orders another and then turns to Lenny. "You look like hell."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Lenny grumbles.

"Did something happen with Midge?" Noah asks worriedly.

"As far as I'm aware, your sister is sleeping peacefully in the Upper West Side," Lenny informs him. "This is all me."

Noah nods and orders them both another round. "I've got ears if you wanna use them."

Lenny lifts a skeptical eyebrow at the other man.

Noah grins and shrugs. "We'll call it a practice round for when you actually become my brother-in-law."

Lenny snorts and takes a long drag off his cigarette. If he lives that long, he wants to say. If Midge puts up with him long enough, he wants to say.

But he doesn't. Instead, he takes the shot in front of him and downs it, before turning to the older Weissman sibling. "Every night this week, I've dreamt that your sister died that night and I have to attend her funeral. And it's always the same and it's always fucking awful."

Noah stares at him, looking unsettled, before turning to the bartender. "Hi. Can you please just leave us the bottle of whiskey? Thank you."

*****

Four in the morning is the perfect time to stumble out of the bar, they decide, mostly because they're closing.

"Look, all I'm saying is that," Noah stumbles a little, his words slurred. "I'm saying that if dreaming about somebody dying makes you wanna do life threatening substances then it's prob'ly true love."

"That is insane," Lenny tells him.

"No it's not!" Noah argues. "It's not. Because - that's what love does. It makes you that fucking nuts. Look, before we got married, Astrid and I got into a fight, and I tried to go after her and apologize, and I ran so hard into a closed sliding glass door that I broke it with my face and had to get stitches."

Lenny stared at him.

Noah gives an exaggerated shrug. "That's love! Yours is just more morbid and less detrimental to your face and more detrimental to…everything else."

Lenny shakes his head. "Where the hell are you even staying?"

"Don't change the subject," Noah scolds. "Also I can't go back to my hotel until the cleanup crew is finished."

"I don't even want to know."

"Good because if I told you, I'd have to kill you, and I don't wanna because I like you and my sister is stupidly in love with you."

Lenny rubs his face. "Sober me would put you on my couch," he mutters. "That's what sober me would do."

"Don't even try to pretend you're not just as shitfaced as me. I watched you drink half the bar tonight."

"Drunk me…would get us a cab and put you on your sister's couch," Lenny reasons. "And then try to sleep with your sister."

"Gross." He considers it. "But that couch is really comfortable."

"Upper West Side it is."

*****

There is a lengthy argument in the cab about showing up this early and waking up Noah’s parents, and whether to do so empty-handed.

“Russ and Daughters doesn’t open til eight.”

“Kossar’s opens at six, what time is it now?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know.”

“Do you think they’d open early for a spook and a comedian?”

“I doubt it.”

The cabbie throws them out for not knowing where the fuck they want to go, and they manage to get another cab, hit Kossar’s for bagels, bialys and schmere, catch another cab to the Upper West Side, and by the time they get there, they’re both miserably hung over.

“This was an awful idea,” Lenny groans as they stand in front of the apartment building.

“The worst,” Noah sighs.

“We both smell like booze and cab seats,” Lenny laments. “Midge is gonna lose her shit.”

“You think Midge is gonna lose her shit, I’m supposed to check in with work in an hour,” Noah mutters. He takes a breath and steals himself. “At least we didn’t come empty-handed.”

Lenny looks down at the paper bag in his hands. “What did we even order, do you remember?”

“Nope. Let’s go.”

It’s Midge who opens the door for them, looking well put together, if a little tired. She’s using her cane, and both men look concerned.

So does she.

“What happened to the two of you?” she asks, looking them over.

“Nothing a nap on the couch won’t cure,” Noah tells her, brushing past her and into the living room.

Midge watches him, and then turns to Lenny.

He lifts the bag, a little helplessly. “Breakfast?”

*****

Thankfully, Joel has the kids, and both Rose and Abe left early in the morning to get to their respective work appointments.

Now it’s just Midge and Lenny in the kitchen, eating bagels and cream cheese, drinking coffee, and he sincerely wishes he had deposited Noah on his own sofa, and wasn't currently looking at the woman he loves without anything to say.

"I'm glad you and Noah are getting along," she says.

"He's a good guy," Lenny shrugs.

"He disliked Joel even before the divorce," Midge tells him. "It's a nice change."

"I'm too hungover to talk about Joel," Lenny pleads.

Midge laughs softly and reaches out, stroking his jaw. "Noted."

He leans into the touch, letting his eyes drift shut in the quiet of the kitchen, gripping his coffee cup a little tighter than strictly necessary.

"Something is bothering you," Midge notices.

"I'm just really hungover," he tells her, getting up to refill his coffee.

"Or something is bothering you," Midge pushes.

He sips his coffee and regards her seriously from over his cup. He knows he should just come clean about all this. That he’ll feel better. It would be much easier if he were still drunk.

“I haven’t been sleeping particularly well,” he admits. “I fall asleep okay, but for the last week I’ve been woken up by the same intense nightmare.”

She gets up slowly, moving to wrap her arms around his neck, stroking the hair at the back of his head.

“And when I don’t sleep, I get stressed,” he tells her. “And when I get stressed…”

“Lenny…”

“I haven’t,” he assures her. “But it’s been rough. I’ve wanted to. Actually, your brother showing up by chance probably kept me from scoring last night.”

“God, that must be some nightmare,” Midge says, worry lacing her voice.

He stares at her, setting his coffee cup down, wondering if she’ll understand. If she catches on he won’t have to say it out loud, sober, to her very beautiful, very much alive face. “It’s a fucking doozy.”

She gazes into his eyes, and understanding passes over her features. She takes a deep breath, standing up straighter, trying to look strong for him. “That didn’t happen, Lenny. It didn’t, I’m right here.”

“I know that,” he tells her softly, his hands resting on her hips. “But my subconscious seems unconvinced.”

“Well tell your subconscious to fuck off,” Midge jokes gently. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He can’t help a weak laugh as he lets his forehead rest against her shoulder.

“Come lay down with me,” she offers. “Mama and Papa won’t be home for hours, and you need to sleep. If you have that nightmare again, you can just reach over and feel me up.”

His shoulders shake with quiet laughter, and she holds him tightly, kissing the side of his head before leading him out of the kitchen toward the bedroom.

Lenny lets himself be gently pushed onto the bed and tugs his shoes off, watching as Midge slps out of her own shoes and sits next to him, reaching over to undo his tie gently, and soon they’re both curled up, facing each other.

“It’s really that bad?” Midge asks after a long silence.

“Really fucking bad,” Lenny mutters.

Her fingers stroking his hair sooth him into loosening his muscles a little, letting go of some of the tension of the last seven hours.

“What, did I rise from the dead to take my revenge or something?” Mide half-jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

“No,” Lenny answers simply. “It was all so…banal. So real. That’s the worst part. That it was just an ordinary funeral. Joel and Imogene and Noah gave eulogies and then we all buried you.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Remind me to write down somewhere not to let my ex speak at my funeral.”

“Because that’s the worst part about all of this,” he mutters absently.

They both go quiet for a few moments, and Lenny feels himself drifting in and out of consciousness.

Midge’s voice sounds far away as she speaks up eventually, pulling him out of sleep. “I dream about it, too…about being dead. Listening to people talk from inside my coffin. A coffin. I don’t have a coffin.”

He struggles to open his eyes and gaze at her.

“I was scared, too,” she confesses, her hand still in his hair.

“I know, Sweetheart,” he says, pulling her close. “I’m sorry.”

Midge leans in and kisses him gently before cuddling in against him. “Go to sleep, Lenny.”

He lists his eyes fall shut again. “Your brother is still in the living room.”

“He’s a big boy,” Midge reminds him. “He’s not five.”

Lenny thinks he responds with a joke, because she’s laughing softly, but he has no idea what he said, falling asleep quickly.

“Sweet dreams, Lenny,” are the last words he hears for a long while.

#fic #au #Fashionable People (Very Blue Rooms)#Midge/Lenny #Midge x Lenny #Midge Maisel #Lenny Bruce #Noah Weissman #angst

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cocosstories · 3 years ago

Text

Chris Evans One Shot

"Are you ready?"

It was a simple question. One you had heard and answered a million times throughout your life without even a thought but this time, the one time the question was just a formality, you didn't know what to say.

You had been patiently waiting for this day your whole life and counting down the days in the last few months, getting more and more nervous as the time got closer.

*Flashback*

"Are you ready?"

It was your first date with Chris and you were doing your best to hide your excitement as he picks you up.

You had opted for a comfy and casual look, so happy when he had shown up dressed similar.

You pet Dodger, who is happily waiting in the back seat and hop in.

The two of you head off down the road, stopping at a beach entrance.

"I picked up some food, I thought we could have a picnic on the beach."

He says, grabbing a picnic basket and blanket from the backseat before grabbing your hand amd making his way down towards the water.

The sun was setting as you began eating, the scene like something out of a movie as the two of you enjoy the sound of the waves and the sight of Dodger playing in the water.

"Y/N?"

You are brought out of your thoughts as the people surrounding you call out your name and your mind comes back into focus.

You give a slight glance to the love of your life as he places his hand lightly on your cheek.

"Babe, you ready?"

He asks, a small look of worry on his face when, yet again, you don't answer.

Your mind slips back and a memory comes into focus.

*Flashback*

"You ready for this?"

Your father asks as you take his arm, your hands shaking and nod, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in.

"Let's do it."

You confirm and the two of you make your way out and down the aisle.

As you look towards the altar, your eyes lock on your soon to be husbands and your nerves calm and the world around you becomes peaceful.

"What is happening to my wife?"

His terrified voice breaks through pulling you back to the present and through blurred eyes you can see the worry all over his face.

"Mr. Evans, we need you to stay calm."

A nurse says before moving him out of the way as she quickly readies you for transport.

"What are you doing? Where are you taking her? Is she going to be ok? What about the baby?"

His questions go unanswered as you are rushed towards the operating room, time running out as you blackout once again.

Chris finds his way to the chair in the now empty room and his head falls into his hands as he cries.

You are wheeled into the operating room, quickly put under and the anesthesia filled haze fuels your memories.

*Flashback*

"Are you ready?"

Chris asks as the two of you stand at the bathroom sink, nervously waiting to find out if you were pregnant.

"You look."

You reply carefully sliding the plastic stick towards him.

He lets out a deep breath before he picks it up and looks and a smile replaces the worry.

"Oh my god."

Your eyes meet his as he turns the test for you to see the word 'pregnant' on the tiny screen.

"We're having a baby!"

You barely get the words out before he pulls you into his arms, the two of so happy and so ready to begin the next chapter in your lives.

The time ticked by slowly as Chris waited for any news on you and your unborn child.

"Mr. Evans, I only have a moment but I wanted to give you an update."

A nurse comes in the room and Chris quickly stands up.

"What happened? Is my wife ok?"

The tears fill his eyes again as he waits for the news, expecting the worst.

"Your wife is in surgery now. She began to hemorrhage and both she and the baby are in danger but they are in very good hands and the doctors working as fast as they can to save them both."

Her words hit him like a freight train.

"Save them both? They could die?"

The nurse gives him a sympathetic look, lightly touching his arm.

"Tell me the truth, am I going to lose them?"

He asks, not sure he really wanted the answer.

"I don't know."

Chris felt sick as the nurse excused herself to head back to the operating room.

*Flashback*

"Are you ready?"

You and Chris both nod excitedly as the doctor begins the scan.

It was finally time to find out the sex of your baby and even though neither of you cared what the baby was, you couldn't help but want to know.

"It's a girl!"

The doctor announces and tears flow from your eyes.

"I knew it!"

Chris says with a happy laugh before kissing you.

"Please. Please. Don't let me lose them. Don't take my girls."

He closes his eyes, the happiness and hope falling away with the realization that you may not make it.

The doctors work quickly, delivering the baby girl, who is rushed off to the NICU, then turning back to you to find the source of the hemorrhage and stop the bleeding.

*Flashback*

"Are you ready?"

Chris asks, hospital bag in hand as he helps you into the car.

Your water had broken in the middle of the night and the two of you had sprung into action quickly.

"I don't know but she sure is."

You joke, Chris taking your hand into his as he heads off towards the hospital.

Once checked in and settled into a room, Chris sits by your bedside helping you through the pains and keeping you entertained in between.

"Everything is going to be ok, babe."

You say, reaching over to caress his face, that was full of worry after a particularly bad pain.

"I know. I know. I just hate seeing you in pain, knowing there is nothing I can do to help you."

He replies, looking like an adorable lost puppy.

"You help me just by being here and soon we will have our baby girl and the pain will be gone. I promise."

Chris sits back in the chair and plays with his wedding ring.

"You promised everything would be ok."

He says to himself, the waiting slowly driving him crazy.

Thoughts of what his life would be without you begin to fill his head as he gets up and starts pacing the room.

"Everything is going to be ok, Chris.I promise."

Your voice plays in his head again and he punches the wall in front of him, all of his feelings bubbling up.

"Is everything ok in here?"

A nurse comes in, following the noise.

Chris stares at her, blood pooling on his knuckles, unable to form words as he fully breaks down.

"Let me clean your hand up."

She says, leading him to the sink in the room.

"Is there any news on my wife or my..."

He trails off, trying and failing to swallow down the limp in his throat.

"Or my daughter?"

A tear slips down his cheek as the words come out, wondering if he would ever get to meet his baby girl.

"I can try and find out for you."

She says, bandaging his hand before leaving the room.

"Mr. Evans?"

Chris wakes up to the doctor calling his name.

"Your wife is out of surgery. We will be bringing her in shortly. She lost a lot of blood and will be very weak but she made it through."

A look of relief floods his face as the doctor speaks and for a moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

"What about the baby? Is my daughter ok?"

Fear crept back in his eyes as he realizes the fate of his baby was still unknown.

"Your wife wants to tell you."

The doctor replies, placing a hand on Chris' shoulder.

Once the doctor was gone, it was only a few minutes before you were brought back into the room, Chris right at your side the second the nurses moved.

"Babe, everything is ok. I'm ok."

You say as he presses his forehead to yours, bringing your hand up to his lips.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

You can feel him shaking and pull away from him, looking into his eyes.

"But you didn't. I'm here. I'm ok."

You smile, reaching up to cup his face.

A nurse clears her throat and you look towards the door with a small smile.

"Are you ready?"

You ask him in a near whisper.

"Ready for what?"

He asks confused, turning towards the door as you point.

"Ready to meet your daughter."

The nurse walks towards you and carefully places the bundled baby in her fathers arms.

"She's ok?"

He asks, almost in disbelief, looking down at the beautiful baby.

"She's perfect."

You confirm, happily watching him take her in.

"We made this."

Chris says a few minutes later with a small laugh.

"We sure did."

You giggle, rolling your eyes at your husband.

He carefully climbs into bed next to you, wrapping his free arm around you.

"Thank you."

You look up at him, reading everything he had been feeling the last few hours all over his face.

"For what?"

"For coming back to me. For not leaving me alone in this life. I wouldn't have made it if I lost you. Either of you. Thank you for her and thank you for not dying."

He kisses your head then leans down to kiss the sleeping baby.

"You couldn't get rid of me that easy. It's you and me and now her against the world babe. Always."

You smile up at him.

A few days later, you and the baby have been released from the hospital.

Chris places her in the carseat and carefully buckles her in before placing it in the car and helping you in next to her.

"Well, are you ready?"

He asks with a smile, looking back at you in the mirror.

"We're ready."

#chris evans x reader #chris evans one shot #dad! chris evans #chris evans

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incoherentbabblings · 3 years ago

Note

I saw some of the wips of your Robin! Steph and Civie! Tim, and I thank you for giving the exact ‘what if’ fic in my head that I have been looking since I ventured in this fantastic paring. I absolutely in love with your fics, and this is just the part of the cherry on top. I love you and ur fics so muchkoisjioshios ❤️💜

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Thank you so much! I'm so pleased that you have read through all those wips! I just finished drafting Chapter 12 (of 19 or so) last night and it racked up to 8,000 words so hearing that someone is looking forward to it is wonderful. I really hope you enjoy it. If I keep up my current pace with the remaining chapters, it should be ready to go come the end of August. I just have to be sure with this one that it's all cohesive and good to go. But thank you so much for this, I'm so over the moon! So... another snippet for you? This is from Chapter Eight, where Steph has well and truly indoctrinated Tim :D

Watching Tim work, Stephanie very quickly gathered that he was not lying when he’d declared his experience in building computers. Hours had passed, and the sun had long set. Tim had brought a sandwich, then rather obsessively cleaned his hands. Has to be pristine, he’d said. Stephanie remained longer than she should have done. It was interesting to see.

“I can do it in my sleep at this point. I built my dad’s,” he explained, handling items with far more gentleness than Stephanie thought possible, but with a confidence that was endearing.

He had lovely hands.

“And before that,” he continued, lips screwing up as he realized he needed to change screwdriver heads, “Hudson’s, and then an old beat up one that I - maybe - stole parts from the recycling center for.”

“For shame, Timothy.”

He giggled, working away quietly. Taking a chance, Stephanie brought up some music on her phone to play quietly, and his face lit up.

“Enya?”

“I like her in the background when I’m studying.”

“She’s good for getting rid of my headaches,” Tim concluded. “When I would get them as a kid - I used to get really horrible ones, screaming kind of pain - Dad would swear she was better than Tylenol. Take me to his office, sit down with me on the sofa, and just hold me as we listened on his big music system. Worked miracles.”

Stephanie smiled fondly, trying to imagine Tim as a young boy. Gawkish, maybe. Fey, possibly. Sweet, enthusiastic, curious.

“You’re close with them, aren’t you?”

Tim looked embarrassed to admit it, shaking his head and looking bashful. “I wasn’t always. They used to travel a lot more for work. Everywhere and anywhere. They’d go on digs a lot too, leave me behind. Nanny after nanny at first. Then, when I was old enough, boarding school after boarding school. Then they were attacked. It’s terrible, but there’s nothing like almost dying to make you examine your lot in life.”

“That’s true…” She curled up on the bed, holding her knees. “I’ve never asked you about it.”

Tim was quiet, pretending to listen to the music. When he spoke, it was without sarcasm, without humor, without the gentleness she had come to associate with Tim.

“I was told on the phone what had happened. Went to the hospital, watching them in two seperate rooms. Mom was weaker. She’d had a higher dosage. The nurses spoke to me like they were already dead.”

“I’m sorry, Tim.”

He looked back at her, a bottle of cooling liquid in his hand. He looked hollowed out, tired.

“No-one understands. They think because they got better, the horror goes away. My mom can’t stand people touching her anymore, apart from me really. Too many people poking and prodding and intubation and needles and a biopsy… She won’t even let someone cut her hair anymore. Dad just wanted to forget it. Move on and never talk about it. Start fresh. New wife, new house…”

“What about you?”

His shoulders sagged. “Frightened for them. Still. If mom gets breathless, if Dad’s spine starts to hurt again. Grateful, that they recovered. But then. I feel guilty… So much guilt.”

“Because you weren’t with them?”

He nodded, then turned back around to work. “I think about it a lot; what would have happened if one or both of them had died. What would have happened to me? But then I feel selfish.”

His voice broke, and Stephanie reached out from her place of kneeling on her bed, and touched his back. She felt the shiver run up it, the muscles tighten.

“You stayed with Bruce for a while, right?”

“Yeah. Such a weirdo,” he scoffed. “He’s a good man. But…”

“Weird,” Stephanie concluded.

Tim worked a bit harder. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, “all I do is tell you sob stories.”

#dc #ask and i'll babble #my fic tag #stephanie brown #tim drake #timsteph

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blake-belladonna-defence-force · 4 years ago

Note

It's the ✨annoying little shit✨ again

The Gremlin anon😺

Here is the ✨update✨ with what happend ✨yesterday night✨ and also ✨today morning✨

So, after I wrote my roommates conversation with Miss oh honey, I started reading it and

MY GOD!!! GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THE GAY!!!

I'M NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF CONSERN FROM SOMEONE!!! IT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!!

I'M GONNA PASS OUT OF GAY OVERDOSE!!!

I wanna kiss my roommate so bad ;-;

BUT I'M TOO SHY FOR THAT!!!

But before I could panic even more, Miss oh honey gets in (I was in my roommates room because it's bigger than mine since we agreed to sleep together) and asks with big grin on her face "How ya doin?"

"Gay- Gay panic"

"Oh honey you need to make a move soon or roommates name won't handel it"

"What do you mean?"

"Honey you know that they are conserned about you and already doing that ugly sad kitten face"

"I don't think it's ugly"

"Of course you don't, you love roommates name! But now, take my advice and make a bloody move! I WANT PROGRESS IN MY SHIP"

Before I could say anything she got away and shortly after my roommate got back and didn't notice I was there

I was coverd in their blankets like a cotton ball with only my head slightly out, and for the face my roommate was doing they were in auto pilot mode

They literally started changing in front of me

And did I say anything? No cause PANIC

I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING!!!!

I TRIED TO OPEN MY MOUTH TO SPEAK BUT THERE WAS NO SOUND!!!! I COULDN'T AND I FELT LIKE A PERVERT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK AWAY!!! I FELT SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!

BUT THANKS TO JESUS AND HOLY MOTHER I GOT CONTROL OVER MY HANDS AND COVERD THE REST OF MY HEAD WITH BLANKETS BEFORE MY ROOMMATE TOOK OUT THEIR PANTS!!!

(I could only see their back since they were turned around BUT if they took their pants off... I don't want more panic and gay thoughts so I wont think about it)

As I evolved into a full white ball of blankets I felt a tap on the blankets. I got my head out and I saw my roommate only with a fucking top on, but with a really sofh expression that made me melt

IT WAS SO CUTE!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!

But while I panicked they started laughing and saying that I looked like a cute tiny fluff ball

I never blushed so must for a laugh and a compliment, that laugh was music, I want more ;-;/

FUCKING KISS ME ALREADY!!!

But as I keep staring without being able to say anything they grafmdualy stoped laughing and started looking conserned/sad (sad kitty face here we go again) and then they look down and finally notice they are only with a top on and then they say "oh- sorry" and put a shirt on

BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE QUIET THIS TIME AND I WILL SAY SOMETHING

And what I said was "Nice"

Just that... WHY ON HELL DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING ELSE!?!? WHY GOD??? WHYYYYY!!!!??

But before I died of embaressment they asked "Nice what?"

"You are nice- I mean- I just- You are nice to me! You always have been since the beggining and uuhh... I just- I don't want you to be sad or- or think you are a jerk just because I got embaressed in the kitchen and uuhh-"

"Wait, how do you know about me thinking that?"

"I- I could hear you two talking"

"shit"

And this when I finally notice how hard blushing!!! Were they that embaressed? But before I could jump into conclusions I rembered Miss oh honeys advice abd asked "Uh- glup Why are you so worried about me?"

Looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read and said "It's cause- sigh You've already been through so much... You deserve to at least be confortable in your own house, to have a safe place to yourself... Don't you think?"

I just- Give me second I need to CRY MY EYES OUT!!! WHY ARE TOU SO CUTE!?!? WHY!!!?? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!???

*incoherent gay gremlin noises*

I didn't notice I was crying until my roommate, with a very conserned voice, asks "Are you ok!? Why are you crying!?"

I kept sobbing until the picked me up, with blankets and all, and hugged me tight

I NEVER FELT SO GAY WITH JUST A HUG!!! IT WAS SO SAFE AND WARM!!!

I MELTED!!! I'M NOW A GAY GREMLIN JELLY!!!

At a certant point they layed down with me and cuddled me. I felt so tiny but yet so loved, it was so good and safe ;w;

Is this what real actually good relationships feel like? Cause I love it ;w;

I'M GAYING SO MUCH OVER THIS!!!

And before we went to sleep, my roommate wiped my tears and said "Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you're hella strong"

"snif What do you mean?"

"I mean- I still about that time I saw you knocking out a guy, that was built like a greek god, twice your sise, in front of our door step!"

"Oh that- that was just-"

"Was just hella impressive!!! I ALMOST DROPED MY FOOD!!!"

THIS IDIOT MAKES ME CRY AND THEN LAUGH AND FEEL HELLA GAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! don't GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I NEED TO REST!!! And that's actually what I said to them, but more like this

"Jesus Crist- Look, let's sleep already before I pass out" AND MANAGE TO SOUND FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT IT!!!

It was because I was really tired

BUT STILL COUNTS AS A VICTORY!!!

So, after I said that, my roommate nods in aproval and fucking kisses me in the forehead

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND MY FOREHEAD!!!??

Anyway, we fell asleep and this morning when I woke up, first thing I do is check tumbler, and when I get there I see shitlords ask about gremlin-fever and the gremlin in back of my head is like pspspsps do iittt

After I send that ask about giving permition for you to use my story as a fanfic I put my phone back in the table, roll over, and PROCEED TO HAVE A FUCKING HEAR ATTACK!!!

THAT DORK ON HAS SHORT AND A TOP COVERING THEM!!! IT'S FUCKING FREEZING OUTSIDE THE BED BUT THEY ARE BOILING!!! LITERAL VOLCANO TEMPERATURE!!!

I'm starting to think that shitlord anon was right about the fevor in a literal way...

BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST!!!! THE FACT THAT I CAN FEEL EVERY INCH OF SKIN IN THEIR BODY!!!

But them I look down and see their arms around me AND FUCKING HELL HOW STRONG IS THIS BITCH!?!?!

I probably panicked for and hour or so before I realize... I CAN TOUCH IT

I now I'm the volcano!!! But when I start touching their belly OUT OF GAY CURIOSITY

THEY OPENED THEIR EYES AND ASK "What are you doing?"

WHAT DO I ANWSER TO THAT!!!??? I CANNOT JUST SAY I WAS TOUTCHING YOU OUT OF GAY PANIC

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A BETTER EXCUSE THAN THAT!!!

So, as an intellectual, I said "I- I was j-just c-curious to know how it f-feels to touch it"

"You were curious to know how it feels to touch other persons abs?"

"Well... Yeah b-but not- Not, like- I'm inocent I swear!!!"

They started laughing at me and got closer, and with their fucking casualty say "You can it I don't mind, you're inocent after all"

I WANNA DIG A HOLE AND HIDE!!! YE GODS ABOVE HELP ME!!!

But I remberem shitlords anon little tip, and actually got the courage to kiss their forehead. The moment I kiss tgeir forehead they stop laughing and blankly stare at me for a solid minute, BUT THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TEASING BITCH, so I said what shitlord anon said "I was just checking your temperature, you look like you might have a fever"

I MANAGED TO HAVE COURAGE TO SAY THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A DYING SQUIRREL!!!!

IT'S REVENGE FOR MY ENDLESS PANICS!!!

They didn't even say anything anymore, they just nooded, IT WAS PRICELESS!!!

But then, Miss oh honey opens the door saying "GOOD MORNING LOVE BIR- Oh- Am I interupting something?"

We both just stare and since she cant se if we have clothes or not due to the blankets she does a shit-eating-grin and says "Oh- Sorry to interrupt your bonding time~ I will let you continue~ giggles"

I DIED RIGHT THERE!!!

But my roommate was FUCKING PISSED

They got out of bed and started chasing her, screaming her name in pure rage!!

And I stayed in the room... Looking at the ceiling... Thinking about my life choices...

BUT PLEASE CAN SOMEONE SEND HELP

I need it ;-;

IT'S TOO MUCH GAY PANICS!!!! HELP!!!

And also, Miss oh honey is gonna sleep here today, cause aparently one of her neighbors has covid, and his wife texted everyone that he is coming back from the hospital so he can rest home (cause the hospitals are all full and he is not having trouble with the desease), like, he got positive a month ago, and Miss oh honey went for test and got negative, she stayed at home for a while to make sure she was okay, and since her covid neighbor wasn't at home with is family cause ge stayed in the hospital (and none of is family has covid, fortunatly)

So, baisically shes gonna stay for while...

Hope ya'll have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night

- gay panic Gremlin anon

Holy shit— you go, Gremlin anon! I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of a stranger before in my life 😂

Y’all are too cute and I’m dying. Good luck with your roommate and your wingwoman Miss “oh honey”, Gremlin anon xD

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wickedbarnes · 5 years ago

Text

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not | John Wick x Reader

PROMPT: Hanahaki Disease AU! Reader realizes she's in love with John but John, on the other hand, can't reciprocate the feelings because he's still in love with Helen. And so, reader begins to cough blood red rose petals...

WARNING: Major angst. Blood. Get your tissues ready.

NOTE: This is my take on the fictional disease so please don't attack me if some of the concepts of it is wrong. I just did it so there would be more impact to the story. An explanation for my take on the Hanahaki will be provided down below at the end of the oneshot to avoid any confusions. Other than that, please enjoy!

If there was one thing you hated doing, it was breaking promises. And you rarely did it unless it was really necessary. But you hated it when you did. And this... this was a promise you swore you would never break. But here you were, staring down at your bloody palm, examining the rose petals that stuck to your skin.

A lone tear cascaded down your cheek as you wiped the blood from your lips.

It finally got to you. The disease. The same disease that had killed your beloved Mother. And you were sure it was the same one that was going to kill you.

You vividly remembered how your Mother would gush about how beautiful love was. How magical it is and how you'd feel as if you were floating when you experienced it. And in a way, she has a point. But not everything was easy.

Because along with love comes pain. The pain of a broken heart. And as you grew up you realized that love was only beautiful when it was reciprocated. When the person you love is in love with you as well. But like your mom, you weren't so lucky.

You had no one but John now. When your Mother died of the Hanahaki Disease, you swore- vowed, rather, that you would never fall in love. But that was, until John.

The moment you saw the man, you could tell just how miserable he seemed but there was something about him that just drew you in. He charmed women without even noticing it. And so you did the unthinkable and was bold enough to go ask him what drink he wanted and that it was on you.

You worked as a bartender in the Red Circle. And when you spotted John you had no idea what type of man he was and what type of world he lives in. But even after that, you didn't care. You still stuck with him.

And you didn't even plan on doing so. You just wanted to give the man something to look forward to. Something to give him a little boost. But when chaos broke and you were almost shot by Viggo's men, John was brave enough to catch the bullet himself before the rest of them ran out thinking they had finally killed the Baba Yaga.

That night, you couldn't just leave him there dying. You had insisted he goes to the hospital but he told you not to and instructed you to take him to the Continental. The hotel where you didn't even know housed assassins like him. You didn't know why but you had stayed with him the whole while he was being patched up despite the fact he kept telling you to leave because it would be dangerous.

But the stubborn person you are, you decided to stay. And the rest was history from there.

You felt it creep up on you. You could tell because you felt the same itch in your throat that didn't seem to go away ever since your feelings for John got stronger. But the moment you realized you were in love with him, fate had finally decided to give you a sign that the feelings you have for the man just wasn't mutual.

And in a way, you kind of understood why. The wedding band on John's finger was proof of that. It was the proof of his undying love for his late wife, Helen. Who were you to compete with that?

The whole situation caused you to let a laugh under your breath. How ironic. John Wick never intends on hurting you. And yet here he was, being the reason why you're ill today.

---

"Y/N, you need to rest, you've been coughing all day and you don't look too good. I can handle it from here." John tried to approach you but you instinctively moved away from him and sat down on the couch yourself. Your reaction took him aback but he quickly regained his composure and sat down next to you but made sure to give you some distance.

You were pretty sure the handkerchief you were coughing into was full of blood by now and you prayed no petal would fall off or it would only worry John even more. You suspected he knows about the disease as well.

Day by day, it was getting hard for you to breathe. You knew the plant inside your lungs was growing and every night you had battled and hoped it wouldn't be your last night. Even sleeping had come to terrify you. You were afraid you wouldn't wake up anymore.

"Y/N, are you alright? You're not telling me what's going on, I have to know so I can take care of you." John would say, concern written all over his face and your heart ached at the sight because you knew he only meant that as a friend.

"I'm fine, John, I'll be okay I told you it's just allergies." You sighed and stood up to get a glass of water when you felt the familiar itch on your throat creeping up again. But the moment you took a step forward, you leaned forward and began to heave as you wretched out blood along with rose petals on John's floor.

You somehow felt embarrassed but your body fell on the floor as you kept throwing up blood. John was almost sure he would've had a heart attack with what he saw. He immediately went over to you and rubbed your back, panic beginning to creep up in his body.

This was like when Helen was ill.

When you were finished throwing up, you opened your mouth to apologize but you found yourself going limp and passing out in John's arms.

John looked at the blood and rose petals that were smeared all over his floor. The realization hit him like a truck as his face began to go pale. He looked down at your unconscious body in horror.

"Y/N, what the hell..."

---

John couldn't even fathom looking at you like this. Pale and sickly looking. He hadn't noticed just how much you had lost weight and how horrible the bags under your eyes looked. You were always with him but he was too caught up in work that he barely had time to see how his friend was doing.

He knew about the Hanahaki disease. John remembered how someone in Ruska Roma died because of it. But he never expected you to get it.

The assassin pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the uncomfortable plastic chair. Who the hell were you in love with? You had never mentioned anyone from work that caught your eye. Nor did you introduce anyone to John. The idea of someone being the root of all this caused him to clench his fists until his knuckles turned white.

Whoever it was that didn't love you back, John was sure he was going to get a piece of his damn mind.

John's thoughts were cut off when the doctor came in and greeted him with a polite smile. When he looked at Y/N's records, the doctor let out a sigh and John knew this wasn't a good sign.

"Does she have family?" The doctor, Dr. Mercer had asked to which John responded by shaking his head no.

"I'm the only one she has now." Dr. Mercer nodded.

"Mr. Wick, I'm gonna be honest. Miss Y/L/N is in critical condition. The amount of blood that she threw up was very alarming. I'm sure you're aware of the Hanahaki Disease?" John nodded solemnly at the question and never took his eyes off you.

"Well, the plant inside her lungs is growing more and more. And it won't be long until it fully suffocates her. Looking at her x-rays right here, you can see that the plant is almost corrupting her lungs fully." Dr. Mercer showed your x-ray scan to John to which he took carefully and it only made the situation even real.

Was he going to lose another important person in his life? He already lost Helen and Daisy. He only has Dog now. Could he really lose you, too?

"Is there a cure to this?"

"There is. But... both of them aren't as easy as they sound." John looked up at the doctor with a confused look causing Dr. Mercer to sigh.

"In order to cure the patient, the person she's in love with has to love her back. And I don't mean platonic love. I mean, real genuine love. If that doesn't work, then we can surgically remove the root of the plant from her lungs."

John perked up at the mention of surgical removal of the plant. Obviously, whoever this person is didn't love you enough to even cure you. John felt that option two was the only logical option left. Or else, you'd die.

"I think I'd like the plant to be surgically removed from her."

"Mr. Wick, I think the patient has to decide for that. Because even though it could cure her, it would erase everything she felt and remembered about the person. Once the operation is done and successful, that person never existed for her. And unfortunately, Y/N here would be stripped away of the ability to experience romantic love. The removal of the root will cause that as well."

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Y/N won't experience romantic love anymore? He looked at your frail body and put a hand over his face. He'd heard Dr. Mercer excuse himself but all John could think of was how he was going to save you.

He doesn't want you to live up your life not knowing how it feels to be in love and be loved by the person you're in love with. But if you don't do anything about this, you'd be six feet underground and time was slowly running out.

John's thoughts abruptly stopped when he noticed you waking up from a deep sleep. You had been out of it for about fourteen hours.

You fluttered your eyes open and took in your surroundings. Your throat felt really dry and you could use a tall drink of water. Looking around, your eyes soon fell on John who stood up from his chair and smiled softly down at you.

Your heart fluttered at how beautiful he is. You almost mistook him for an angel.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly and brushed away some of your hair away from your face. His touch sent shivers down your spine and in a way, it hurt for him to be here. He was so gentle and patient. Was he like that with Helen? Or was he even more loving when it came to her?

"Like death." You laughed softly as you averted your eyes to the glass of water that was sitting on the table beside your bed, "Can I get a drink, please?"

John immediately took the glass of water and helped you sit up from your bed so you could drink. You were dehydrated from the amount of blood you just threw up hours ago. John gently patted your head when he saw that you drank all of the water from the glass.

"Good girl." He'd praise you and your heart swelled at it but it made you cough a bit.

John sat back down on the plastic chair but brought it closer by your bed as he looked at you in the eye.

"Y/N, who did this to you?" He asked. It took you about a minute to figure out what he was on about. And then you remembered the disease. Your situation probably took a turn for the worse and you assumed what had happened earlier almost scared John to death.

"Y/N." John sighed. "You're one of my most trusted friend. The only friend I probably trust with my whole life, really. But you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. You're dying, honey, and someone is the cause of all this and it's frustrating that I don't know who it is."

It's you, you wanted to say but the words didn't come out the way you wanted them to. You didn't want to see the look on John's face when you laid out the truth. Even now, on the verge of death, you were afraid of what he'd think. You knew he has a lot on his plate and he's just getting the chance to finally grieve for Helen. You didn't want nor had the heart to tell him that he's the reason why you're dying.

"It's no one, John, he-" You pursed your lips and let out a breath as you looked down at your hands that were slightly stained with your own blood, "He went away he- he loves someone else and that's all you need to know."

John nodded and although he was frustrated you didn't tell him everything, you knew it was just because you didn't wanna dive back into the fact that this person didn't reciprocate the feelings you felt. So he understood.

"Y/N, Dr. Mercer gave me two options so you could be cured and he-"

"John, I can't be cured, he doesn't love me." You said firmly and it felt so different saying it in front of him like this when he has no idea it was him all along that you were in love with.

"I know, darling, I know." He grabbed your hand comfortingly and you almost hated him for acting like this when all along you knew it was just platonic. You were just a friend to him. Nothing more and nothing less.

"But then he told me about option two. Option two is that you can get the plant surgically removed from your lungs." You perked up at hearing this.

You never knew it could get surgically removed. Your mother never told you. So why didn't she do it?

"W-What? What do you mean I can get it surgically removed?" You asked as tears began to fill your eyes but John was patient enough to talk you through it.

"You can, it's possible. But it's not that easy, Y/N." He let out another sigh before looking up at your tear filled eyes, "When the operation is successful, all the memories you have of that person will be gone. Including your feelings for him. It was like he never existed. Apart from that, once the plant is removed from your body, you ability to experience romantic love wouldn't be there anymore."

Tears cascaded down your cheeks. Not because you wouldn't be able to fall in love again. But because the thought of forgetting John scared you so much. Were you going to remember him again? Can he reintroduce himself again to you? Or should you not go through with option two?

At that moment, you finally realized why your mother never had the plant inside her get removed. It was far more painful than anything else.

---

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jonathan." Winston would say as he poured a drink for the assassin and John just nodded at him in thanks.

"Some things are beyond our control." John replied as he took a big gulp of his drink. He needed it right now after all.

He just came back from the hospital and that was the first time in a while John had felt so overwhelmed. The hatred he had for himself just increased a ton.

You decided to go through with the operation after giving it a deep thought for a the whole day. John was happy. Although you weren't able to experience romantic love anymore, he assured you he'd be by your side every step of the way. Just like you had been for him.

But what came next almost made him collapse down to his knees.

Aurelio decided to pay you a little visit when your operation was done. He had found out about what had happened from John and you knew the man well enough that he could give you discounts whenever your car had problems.

When it was time for visitors, John felt ecstatic. You were alive. He wasn't losing someone important from him again. When they got inside the room, you had already woken up and had a nurse slowly help you sit up from your bed but the moment your eyes fell on John, he noticed the slight confusion written on your face.

"Y/N, God, I'm so happy the operation was successful." John smiled and tucked a piece of your hair and he noticed how your body stilled from the touch as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

Thhe reaction was weird but John brushed it off and thought that maybe, it was a side effect from the pain killers you'd been taking.

"Aurelio's here and brought you some stuff. You like those cookies from the bakery near his shop, right?" You found yourself nodding slowly at the man's question even though you had no idea who he is.

Who was he? And how does he know your name? How did he know you liked those chocolate chip cookies from that bakery near Aurelio's shop? It was starting to freak you out.

John took notice of your reaction and the nurse excused herself when she was finished checking your vitals. John put a finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him and in your eyes, he saw fear.

You never looked at him like that. Never. Not even once.

"Y/N, darling, what's wrong? Did I do something, why are you-"

"Who are you?" You asked, cutting him off and John looked at Aurelio to see if what he heard was right.

Aurelio looked at him and then back at you with shock written on his face.

"What? Y/N, it's me, John. Your friend, your best friend." John replied but you had no recollection of the man in front of you so you shook your head slowly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so confused I don't know who you are." You apologized shyly and looked at Aurelio. "Aurelio, is he a friend of yours? I really don't remember him, I don't wanna seem so rude."

John stood there in his spot, completely frozen. You remember Aurelio but you had forgotten him. That could only mean one thing...

"Come on, Y/N, stop fooling around this isn't funny. Tell me you're just joking and you know who I am." John's voice was laced with desperation now and you took notice of how his eyes were starting to fill with tears and you had a sense he hated crying in front of people.

Why did you feel so guilty? As if you'd done something wrong?

You looked up at the man apologetically and shook your head at him. "I'm so sorry, John, I really don't know who you are. I believe I just met you. Aurelio would have introduced you to me back then but... I don't remember that he has."

John couldn't take it. Everything was so overwhelming. When he gruffly excused himself you watched as he hurriedly made his way out of your room and Aurelio followed soon after probably to chase after him.

You had no idea of who he was but you could never forget how heartbroken he seemed when he looked at you.

Did you know him before?

John, on the other hand, needed to get out of there and he ignored Aurelio's calls as he got into his car and sped down the road. He felt guilty for leaving you there all alone, probably so confused as to why you were there in the first place but he just needed to have his space.

And so here he was, sharing a drink with Winston.

"You weren't entirely fair with her as well, Jonathan. You couldn't blame her if she hadn't told you."

"I was grieving for my wife." John stated to which Winston replied with a hum.

"But you could've showed her you felt the same way. Maybe told her. Hanahaki disease is a complicated kind of illness. Y/N believed you were still in love with Helen. And maybe you still are. That's why she was on the verge of dying that day. But it could all have been cured if you two had just acted on your feelings right away. A lot of people die from that, you know."

John stayed silent and poured himself another drink.

He had moved on from Helen a year after the whole incident with Viggo and his son. If Helen was alive, she would've wanted John to live his life fully and that was the only way he could honor her. And he did, and that was thanks to you.

You were like a breath of fresh air and John was scared he might ruin the peace that you had in your life. And he kind of did in a way. But you were too stubborn to leave until he just couldn't handle the thought of you leaving.

Like you, it crept up on John and the familiar itch on his throat, as if he was about to cough kept popping out of nowhere. Especially when you were near him. And for a moment, he didn't want to believe he caught it. He couldn't be possibly catching feelings for you it was a dangerous game to play.

John believed everything he touched turns to ash and he wasn't turning you into one. You deserved far more better than that. And it'd be impossible for you to feel the same way about him, he's too damaged to be loved at this point. But it's true when they say that you can't help who you fall in love.

But today, today was different than the others. John placed the glass down and leaned back on his chair and soon leaned forward when he began to cough and cough and cough.

Winston looked at John with an unreadable expression on his face. As if he knew it was coming. Somehow, he felt bad for the man. He had lost his wife and the dog she gave to him. And in a way he lost you even though you were still perfectly alive.

And now the disease had caught up to him.

His hunch was right when he saw the blood on John's palm. John stared down at it and noticed that there were petals of your favorite flower sticking onto his hand along with his own blood.

The assassin stayed silent as he grabbed his handkerchief from his coat and wiped the bloody residue off his skin.

Winston poured the man another drink but this time, he didn't pour himself some. He knew John needed it more than he did.

"Are you going to remove it or not?"

John looked at Winston but the manager took it upon himself to get up from the chair and leave Jonathan alone in the rooftop to decide.

This was all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage, obviously. And John leaned back against the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a tear slip down his cheek.

Was he ready to go? Or will he risk forgetting about you like you did to him?

John realized just how difficult this all was. He realized now that it hurt to have you forget about him completely. Like he was dead to you. But knowing you, you would've made the decision just so you could live for John's sake. He knew you decided to live even though it would be hard on the both of you.

Because in your mind, you probably chose to live and see John again even though you had forgotten about him rather than die and let him live this world all alone without you.

But would it be the same for John? Could he really forget about you? Or was it time for him to go and let you be free?

Either way, as he began to cough once again, he knew that he needed to think fast and decide.

Time is gold and he's slowly running out of that.

---

A/N: I know in some stories this is not how the Hanahaki disease works but this is my take on it. Reader almost died because she believed that John would never love her the way she did. When all along, John was slowly developing feelings for her and while he did, he also didn't believe she'd have feelings for him because he believes he's too damaged to be loved. To put it shortly, my understanding of the Hanahaki is that as long as the protagonist believes the enamoured doesn't love them back, they'll slowly die. But as long as the enamoured confesses to the protagonist, they'll be cured of the disease. And if that doesn't work, the plant can be surgically removed.

The disease caught up to John and the reader because they didn't act upon their feelings and confessed to each other right away. They both believed everything was platonic between them. As a result, they kept it to themselves until it slowly killed them. In other words, this is all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage to say what they really wanted to say to each other.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves oneshot #john wick #john wick fic #john wick imagines #john wick x reader

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pleasant-boi · 4 years ago

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OK I'm still on wisdom tooth pain killers and I can't write shit so stuff for this AU where I give Akechi some parental figures to disappoint.

It is still going to be really, really bad. Akechi still gets involved with the conspiracy though he's like... 10% more mentally stable this time around due to some good influences.

By god we're getting you a fucking proper redemption arc bro.

I'm going to age the p3 cast a couple of years, since canonically there is a 5-6 year gap between the events of p3 and p5 if I remember correctly, and I want everyone to be adults ™ and in Tokyo for plot reasons when the p5 cast are children. I was thinking of maybe around 7 years? So Akihiko and Mitsuru are 25, Junpei and Yukari 24, Fuuka 23 and Ken 18 while the p5 cast are around 10-12...if my math is correct I'm gay ok?

Koromaru is not dying, persona makes animals immortal I don't make the rules I'm all for angst/whump but the dog lives. Koromaru insists on looking after strays so everyone in sees constantly fosters little animals - mostly Ken, but the others occasionally too, especially when Ken was exams

Is this also a convoluted way to give Akechi a puppy to bond with?

Yes, yes it is.

Basically adult!SEES with uni!Ken is like having cousins who live in the same city when you're in university. You love them you don't talk for months and suddenly you're around them for like a week straight. Ride or die (or ignore their existence for like 2 months straight because you were living ur life ™)

Ken is in his first year of uni in the beginning of this. He's studying to be a vet. Or maybe a doctor. Maybe he'll change majors in the future. Not sure. But I headcon him as wanting to get into something thats helps people like medicine and the boy has a soft spot for animals

Everyone is dealing with trauma. Other than Ken who like Arena (we're just using stuff we like from that game and ignoring the rest shh) stopped getting involved with shadow stuff and had a relatively normal rest of his childhood - with some help of Kirijo appointed therapists-, Junpei is the most well adjusted.

Everyone is still in a place where they feel due to the event's of p3 and after the death of p3mc, femc (twin AU! TWIN AU! ) and everyone else in their lives, getting close to people other than their group is... Hard.

Junpei is too busy loving his npc wife, so it's easier to ignore the bad stuff. He also has children. He cried when they were born for like a month straight. Thinking of them being twins, one of them having red hair like Chidori because of anime reasons ™.

Because of that they end up with a lot of impromptu sleep overs and basically everyone has a spare room except Ken because he's a student, Junpei because he has kids and even with Mitsuru being everyones unofficial platonic sugar mommy, that many rooms is expensive and Yukari who is the only one not officially living in Tokyo but she's there like 80% of the year for shootings and has a studio apartment.

They avoid gathering at Fuuka, because she insists on making food every time and while it is usually edible (or edibles lmao) she likes to experiment a lot. So it's a bet between normal food, maybe a bit burned sometimes but nowhere near as bad as in highschool or mystery food X.

I'm keeping Akihiko as a c- 🤮 as a cop, only because I found his reason for it in Arena super wholesome. If not maybe a police consultant. I'm still on the fence about it. Plus Mitsuru needs inside allies for shadow ops.

Speaking of Akihiko, that's how I'm giving Akechi parental figures!

One of Akechi's Foster homes locks him out when he doesn't come straight from school and this time they don't even let him in for the night.

Akechi kinda runs away, gets lost and ends up spending the night crying in some random alley before passing out.

If I'm keeping the cop ™ route maybe someone calls the police and Akihiko ends up checking it out. Or maybe he's out running in the middle of the night, because let's face it, probably no one could relax before 1am, anxiety about the dark hour some how returning and it's something Akihiko 'I deal with the deep terror of losing again everyone close to me by punching things, working my body to its limit and putting myself in danger but I'm definitely not an adrenaline junkie' Sanada would do

Speaking of which the investigation team definitely checks for the midnight chanell every time too

Akihiko sees a passed out kid in the middle of the night and of course he tries to help. He asks if he's lost etc and ultimately he asks and where are his parents.

It's mid fall so while the temperature isn't deadly it is cold out, maybe it's raining too, for the extra suffering/whump, and he's pushing a bit with the questions because the kid is definitely going to get pneumonia if he hasn't already.

Akechi doesn't really respond until the parent thing, almost screams about how his mom is dead and no body wants him around and starts crying again.

Akihiko has braincells, however none of them are any help with social interactions. Much less with a sobbing child in the middle of the night.

I'm not sure where to go exactly from here but Akechi clearly has a fever (and if we're going with the rain route especially he needs to get dry and warm asap) and is really against going to the hospital because 'they're going to kill me if there is a hospital bill' so either

a) Akihiko calls child services and takes him to the station and sits with him until they arrive or

b) he takes him back to his apartment for the night because it is late, the kid needs some sleep and blankets and he knows the system is underfunding and overworked at best so it would be better to just call them in the morning

That particular one can have some cute hurt/comfort with pancakes for breakfast because Akihiko is also pancake boi and Akechi crying again because no one has been nice to him in years

Anyway, both end with Akihiko giving Akechi his number and telling him to call if something bad happens again.

Akechi doesn't. At least for a little something over half a year. He's in a really bad foster home and one night he ends up locked in the hall closet, trying not to cry because even breathing hurts but if he did make more noise it would be worse.

He has the number memorised by now and when he tries to curl up in the small space and feels a cellphone in a fallen jacket (remember the 2000s where most people used their cells only outside or when you wanted to talk to your crush?) , he takes it out, heart beating loudly before sending a series of panicked texts explaining the situation

He doesn't really think that it's going to do anything because there isn't a response but the small part of him that hoped something would go right for once still hurts

Meanwhile Akihiko didn't even think about replying because he almost had to be physically restrained from running there and punching the shit out of them

It's not even 20 minutes later when the police comes with Akihiko and at that point Akechi is almost unconscious, but starts screaming and banging against the locked door when he hears the commotion, immediately passing out when he feels it open

When he comes to he's a in a hospital, getting yelled by a social worker about how he has to change homes again some soon and it his fault and Akechi just bites his lips, trying to tune it out and not cry again.

Akihiko overhears all that and while he would normally just leave it to the proper authority and is nowhere near close to the ready for a responsibility like that, is like 'fuck it temporarily custody until he's healed and also I'm giving this kid some proper food and a couple of punching lessons'

There's more but this is already getting long asdvyrsvgjcw

#persona 5 #persona 3 #persona fanfiction #this is so angsty shuzjs #i have a lot of ideas #Part 2 maybe later #I should be writing my akira palace au I have the main draft #But there's a lot of people spending and on painkillers I cannot keep track of that #Plus plot bunny goes brrr #I hope the read more works

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imzadi-caskett-huddy · 4 years ago

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In My Veins (3/?)

House, M.D. Fanfic

Thanks to everyone for reading and for the notes left. I really do like reading your thoughts, so keep them coming. Also, those worried about House and Cuddy getting back together quickly, don't worry. It's not that simple, no matter what was in the last chapter and what you might think after this chapter. Also, fair disclaimer, I might have some details wrong as far as what happened at the end of the show... sorry, just go with it. And I know Cameron was gone... she's back because without Wilson, I needed a but of a sounding board. She won't be annoying, don't worry.

My song companion piece for this chapter is APOCALYPTIC by Halestorm. You can find it on Youtube. Great band, and it really inspired the ending. Also if I actually owned House and characters, I wouldn't have to write fanfic...I just would have made it all canon, so there's that.

A huge thank you to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for helping to brainstorm a but and for reading all my stuff and helping edit and give feedback on what works and what doesn't. Enjoy!

xxxxx

"House isn't dead?"

Cuddy looked up from her desk to see Dr. Cameron entering her office with the memo she had sent out to everyone on the board about hiring House. "I know. I rehired him."

"No, I know. I just meant... you're not surprised? How long have you known?"

"Wilson told me at the funeral." She went back to her work then like it was no big deal. It really wasn't to her at this point.

Cameron was quiet for a moment, digesting all of this. "So you've known this whole time that he faked his death? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place."

"It wasn't your place to let everyone who was grieving know that he was alive?"

Cuddy had a 'seriously' look on her face when she glanced up from her file. It was House... the only two people legitimately grieving for him were Cuddy and Wilson. "No, it wasn't. I was no longer his boss. I was no longer his girlfriend."

"Why?"

Cuddy breathed deeply. "I was already gone. Wilson was dying. He wanted to be there for his best friend for once. I wasn't going to be the one who stood in his way."

Cameron was quiet again. "You're still in love with him."

Cuddy's eyes widened. "I am not...I'm the one who ended things. He drove a car through my house!"

"And you still love him," Cameron insisted.

"I left to get away from him."

"Leaving someone doesn't mean you stop loving them."

"Is that why you're back here working at the same hospital as Chase?" Cuddy deflected then.

Cameron was quiet for a moment. "Is that why you rehired him?" she countered with a pointed look.

Cuddy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I hired him to keep an eye on him. Wilson was all he had. I just want to make sure he's not going to self destruct more than normal."

Cameron just shook her head. She could see House entering the hospital through the glass door of Cuddy's office. "I hope you know what you're doing, otherwise the hospital is going to be ground zero when the time bomb goes off."

The two women exitted the office and walked out of the clinic just in time to hear House's declaration. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have cured death!" he started. "Elvis is back in the building. If you've got questions, direct them toward Dr. Cuddy," he pointed in the direction of her office in the clinic with his cane. He then started toward the elevator.

Cameron simply looked at Cuddy, as did the other staff in the lobby. "Yeah, this isn't going to blow up at all," she said sarcastically, walking away from the mess House had seemingly already made.

Cuddy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "House, my office," she called before he could get too far.

He stopped and smiled slightly. "I knew it wouldn't be long before she just had to have me," he commented as he passed the nurse's station on the way into the clinic. "You bellowed?" He smirked as her office door closed.

She wasn't going to let him get to her. She wasn't going to bring up the kiss or anything about them. This was all going to be professional. "Maybe give the staff a few days to readjust to you before you start making bold declarations like you did this morning. Most of them are still shocked to see you alive."

"You mean you didn't post my picture all over the hospital and announce my out of retirement tour? Bummer," he commented.

She rolled her eyes. "The only people who got a memo was the board of directors. I have to notify them of any new doctor I hire in as a department head. Or in your case, a co-head."

He arched an eyebrow. "Co-head? I don't share my dictator power, you know that."

"Well you're going to have to learn. Dr. Chase took over diagnostic medicine when you left. He's done a good job, and I'm not going to demote him just because you've come back."

"Chase stole my department?"

"You left, House, that's not stealing. The hospital wasn't going to just keep the department around without an attending to run it. Chase was the most qualified. And he takes more than one case at a time," she countered, taking a seat behind her desk and crossing her arms. It was the safest place for her right then. It kept a barrier between them.

"You're really keeping him in charge of my department?"

"He's not in charge. You're both in charge. It's a good thing, House. It's going to let you ease back in. It gives you the puzzle you need. And Chase isn't Foreman... he's not going to butt heads with you or override you. I'm the only one who gets stuck in that particular level of hell."

He didn't like that arrangement, particularly, but she did have a point. Chase wasn't as bad as Foreman. He could usually manipulate Chase into getting what he wanted. "This isn't going to work," he said simply before leaving to begin the familiar walk back to his old office. He knew she wasn't going to give in, so he was stuck in the situation, at least for now.

When he stepped off the elevator, he walked down the familiar hallway. He passed by a familiar office and stopped long enough to give it a look, seeing the new name on the door. Taking a deep breath he continued on until he pushed open his old door with his cane and stepped inside.

"House..." Chase looked up from the file he was starting to review. "You're not dead."

He just gave the other man a look. "Clearly." He moved further into the office, going to the desk and dropping his bag, looking out the window toward the balcony that was on the back of what used to be Wilson's office. He breathed deeply again before grabbing his bag and turning to leave the office just as quickly as he'd come in.

"House!" Chase started.

"If you've got questions, call Cuddy," he called over his shoulder.

"We have a case!" Chase called from the open office door, only to see House continue walking. "House!"

House got on the elevator and went back to the main floor. He marched right back into Cuddy's office, past her objecting assistant. "I need a new office," he stated, leaning on his cane as he stood in front of her desk.

She took another moment before looking up from her file. "What's wrong with your old office?"

"Don't like it. Chase made it into a shrine for his ex-wife."

Cuddy just rolled her eyes and went back to her work. "You aren't getting a new office."

"I can't work in my old office. And while we're on the topic of needs...I need to hire a new team."

She looked up again and leaned back in her chair since he clearly was not going away. "You don't need to hire a team. The Diagnostics Department is already fully staffed with a team of excellent doctors."

"That's Team Chase. I need Team House. You have two department heads. We each get a team," he insisted.

She shook her head. "That's not how this works. You share the team that's there. It's not unreasonable. You personally only take one case at a time... I'm not hiring more doctors into that department for one extra case. I don't have the budget for that because I hired you."

"My salary is not equal to what it costs for my own team."

"No, your salary isn't. But when I hired you, I not only had to budget for your salary...I also had to budget for your lawsuits, the MRI machines you always seem to misuse and break, and all the other various incidental costs that come with employing an egomaniac like you," she pointed out. "Use the team. They're good."

He clenched his jaw for a moment before hitting his cane on the ground a few times. "Fine. I'll use Team Chase under protest. I still need a new office."

She shook her head. "There is no office available. Your office is fine. It's the biggest office outside of mine."

"Right... great idea. I'll just use your office until there is one available."

Her eyes widened and she pushed her chair back from her desk. "You will not!" She stood to face him.

"Then find me another office. Otherwise I'm moving in."

"I told you, there is no other office."

"Alright, Roomie," he said, moving to take a seat in one of her more comfortable chairs. "When my stethoscope is on the door, it means I've got a hooker in here."

She managed to contain her temper, instead moving back behind her desk. Maybe if she just ignored him, he'd realize he wasn't getting the attention he wanted and just go away.

xxxxx

House stood on her porch, beating on her door with his cane.

"Stop making so much noise. You're going to wake up Rachel," Cuddy said, pulling her robe tighter around herself as she opened the door.

"Not my problem. I wouldn't be here banging on the door if her mother weren't such a controlling idiot," he pushed past her.

"Right. Why don't you come in. We can talk about how I'm the idiot," she shook her head as she closed the door. She had expected to butt heads with him again, had even expected him to show up at her house to argue his point. But she hadn't expected it so soon. He hadn't even been back a whole week yet. She also wasn't sure what, if anything exactly, had set him off.

"You said I could have a team."

She just looked at him for a moment. Really? This was what he was so upset about? "I already told you. You do have a team. Chase and the three fellows that make up the diagnostics department."

"And I already told you. That's Chase's team. I want my team."

She gave a soft laugh. "There are four doctors...five, counting yourself, that make up the diagnostic department. Six if you count bugging Cameron in the ER with your theories. Seven if you count me vetoing your crazy theories and unnecessary procedures. That's more than enough to bounce theories around and handle your single patient of the week. I'm not letting you hire anyone else."

"First of all, you're not a real doctor, so you don't count," he started in on her. "Cameron isn't nearly as helpful now as she was when she worked for me. And Chase's team is too busy dealing with Chase's patients to be worried about my patient. I want my own team," he insisted angrily.

"No," she crossed her arms. "There are three doctors you can use to your heart's content. One patient a week does not justify me adding another team to your department."

He rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot!"

"You already said that," she pointed out.

"You're a horrible doctor. And you're cheap. You being a cheap idiot is what killed my patient!"

Ah... so that's what this was about. His patient had died. "You want to blame me because you didn't figure out the diagnosis," she stated.

"I'm blaming you because you're too cheap and too stubborn to let me have my own team. If I had my own team, they would have focused on my one patient instead of my one patient and Chase's three! My patient died because I don't have a team that is focused. We missed something because the team had to split their focus! They had to split their focus because you have some ridiculous urge to try to control me! This is on you!"

She gave a laugh. "Really? I think you've more than proven over the years that I have no control over you. You're uncontrollable," she countered. "Even when we were together you made it clear that I never controlled you."

He clenched his jaw and turned a bit more to really square off with her. She wasn't pissed off enough yet... he'd poke a different spot, push a different button. "That's what this little power play is really about. Me. You're still hot for me. And it drives you crazy."

She arched an eyebrow. "What are you even talking about?"

"You're pissed at me over everything that happened with us. This is your way of getting back at me for the way things ended."

"Don't go there," she warned lowly. That was a very dangerous hole to go down.

That's exactly where he wanted to go. He'd found the exact button to push and now he wasn't going to stop. This was the reaction he'd wanted. "Our entire relationship, you constantly said you never wanted me to change who I was. You knew how screwed up I was. You acknowledged it. I think it even got you off. You said you never wanted me to change. But in the end it did matter. Turns out that you really did want me to change after all. You probably thought you were such a great catch that you could make me change."

"I didn't break up with you because you didn't change. And for the record, I never asked you to."

"No, it was because one time when I thought you were dying, I slipped up. I thought I was losing the woman I loved, and I took a pill to numb everything for a few hours because I didn't know how to deal with that kind of pain."

"House, stop," she swallowed hard. She could feel her temper flaring with every word.

"I made one mistake. One. And the almighty, perfect Dr. Cuddy just couldn't be with anyone who isn't as perfect as she is! Only aside from your ass, there's not a perfect bone in your body."

"One mistake?! You think you only made one mistake our entire relationship? I never said I was perfect, but you...you lied to me. Multiple times. You weren't there when I needed you. You never showed up when I needed you... it was only when it was convenient for you and your damn ego! When I was sick you brought your whole team to try to diagnose me!"

"Because I was trying to save you!"

"You don't get to run around playing God! You can't decide who lives and dies, House! You can't save everyone! I didn't want House the doctor, I wanted House the man I loved!"

"This isn't about money or even you being stubborn. This is about you and me. This is about you being so angry at yourself that despite everything I've done, everything that happened, you can't help but still want me. You're still attracted to me, and you hate it, hate yourself. So you're blaming me... taking it out on me with the one thing that you can control. My work," he growled angrily.

"If that were true, why the hell would I have rehired you?!"

"Because you want to fuck with me... in both senses of the word!" He yelled at her. "It's not my fault you can't control yourself around me. It's not my fault you still want me and what only I can do for you. It's not my fault..."

She interrupted him with a hot, angry kiss. It was searing and fierce, biting his lower lip roughly. When they both pulled away a moment later, they just stared at each other... really, more of a glare. They were both angry...at each other, at the situation, at the truth. They both were upset. That was it... the gasoline had been poured on and this was the final spark that caused the explosion.

Her hands fisted in his shirt pulling him against her as her lips crashed hard into his. His cane dropped as his hands yanked her robe open and began roaming possessively. There was nothing tender or gentle in the way he touched her... nor in the way she touched him. This was raw, unbridled passion and lust... tension that had been building between them probably since things ended if they were being brutally honest with themselves.

Her robe finally fell from her shoulders and her back hit the wall hard. His fingers were rough on her skin, grabbing her body in ways she knew would leave bruises, but she couldn't bring herself to care... leaving her own marks on his body from her mouth and nails.

She didn't even care about his shirt, going straight for his belt and jeans. They weren't going to make it to her bedroom. Even if this weren't such an urgent need for both of them, she wasn't ready to invite him back into her bed. So she shoved him down on the couch, yanking his pants over his hips in the process. She moved to straddle him, teeth moving over the skin of his neck until they sunk into his pulse point hard, eliciting a deep groan from his chest.

His fingers dug into her hips hard enough to leave fingerprint bruises, and his eyes were dark as they met hers. He quickly pushed her to her back underneath him on the couch, unwilling to give her the control he knew she wanted. His mouth ravaged every inch of available skin, biting and sucking, leaving marks everywhere that would serve as a reminder of him. At the same time his hands moved underneath her nightgown groping possessively, pulling her close and making sure he reminded her that no one else knew her body the way he did.

She gave him a few minutes to think he was in control, but there was no way she was letting him keep it. Her hands groped his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it somewhere to the side. Before he could realize it, she gave a shove to flip him to his back, which sent them both falling off the couch. He landed on the floor with a thud and a grunt, and she landed on top of him triumphantly. Her thighs straddled his, and she pinned his wrists to the floor on either side of his head, refusing to let him touch her for the moment. Her mouth ran along his throat, teeth grazing the skin as she dropped her hips.

xxxxx

By the time they were done, they were both still laying on the floor where they'd landed when they rolled off the couch, only he was now on top of her. His shirt was on her coffee table, his pants still around his ankles. They both had red marks on their bodies that would most likely turn into bruises, bite marks in various places, and she'd left rather nasty scratches down his back with her nails that had broken skin.

Neither said a word. Neither even moved until soft footsteps were heard in the hall. "Mommy?"

Shit. Rachel was awake and apparently out of bed. She gave House a shove so she could slip out from underneath him. "Go back to bed, Sweetie. I'll be there in a minute, okay?" She called to her daughter, hoping her voice still sounded normal. She waited until she heard the footsteps fade back down the hallway before getting up, still without a word to him. She straightened her nightgown and picked up her robe as she disappeared to take care of her daughter.

House laid on his back, staring up at her ceiling for a few moments before finally sitting up and redressing. Pushing himself up, he limped over to where his cane had landed and picked it up before silently letting himself out of her house. He stood on her porch for a few moments, trying to process his conflicting thoughts and feelings before shaking his head and starting toward his bike. He couldn't let this happen again. He knew he'd never be what she needed. He wasn't the right guy for a single mom. And he knew that she knew that. So he wasn't going to torture himself with the rejection that would inevitably come.

#house #house m.d.#house md #house fanfic #huddy #house x cuddy #greg house #lisa cuddy

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mewmewnyaart · 4 years ago

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I'm not very good at drawing horror and blood but I recently have been getting into OFF lately so I figured I'd try to draw batter to pratice lighting and shadows

I also made my own au where batter and hugo switch places but I doubt anyone would like it or even read it heck I couldn't even get a single like on any of my posts

But here I go anyway :

So common belief that the world of OFF isnt real and that its all happening inside Hugo's head because hugo is in a comma and that the batter resembles the father and the queen resembles the mother

And that the guardians are the boy's immune system and organs that are intolerant to the drug liquid plastic that is being experimented on hugo

The mother was always a working woman and never gave hugo attention while the dad was a straight forward and loving man (I also have a personal theory that he's religious)

The mother wants hugo to live but the father wants to let the boy die because he's tired of seeing his own child in pain everyday

Ok now that I have that out of the way here's my au:

In this au its the father that ends up in a comma and hugo is the one who tries to save him from dying

Backstory to how the dad ended up in a comma:

Hugo in this au is healthy and lives a normal life the father was once a baseball player (as a hobby) so hugo got inspired by his dad and started to take baseball classes at his school

One day the dad was dropping hugo off for baseball practice and while waving goodbye while slowly moving out of the parking lot a reckless older student who wasn't looking quickly backs up his truck hitting the father and sending him into a comma

Ok now for the characters:

We enter the game as hugo and we are greeted by the judge and we start our journey of "purifying" the world just like batter

The enemies represent different family members who dislike or or even hate the father and the father's phobias or fears as well as microbes or poisons in the father's system

Then we have other characters like pets,neighbors,friends who are good guys or people who side with hugo in the this au

Also the puzzles would changed in this au

Hugo is a child and the father would probably play alot with hugo and his games since the mother was always busy ,so instead of floating boxes we'd get more complicated versions of kids puzzles like connect the dots or fill in the shapes etc.

Now for who each character represents and then I'll move on to what the goal of the game is or what Hugo's mission is:

Hugo= he represents the son in real life but he also resembles a new antibiotic that's being experimented on the father

The judge = in real he's the family house cat named milk ingame he's a guide but I have my own head canon

so alot of people tend to draw batter with his eyes closed some draw 4 eyes some draw no eyes at all

I like to think that the father irl has bad eye sight or sensitive eyes so he wears special glasses but will not wear any glasses when at home because he doesn't like to so he will walk around with his eyes closed

So milk will guide him throughout the house by purring or meowing at him

As for the smile the judge has on his face hugo likes the movie Alice in wonderland over and over so the image of the Cheshire cat would be embedded in the dad's memory which is why the judge appears that way

He views the judge as someone who is helpful

The queen = the queen is his wife however they start to have alot of problems and arguments before the father fell in a comma

And the relatives try to convince her to turn off the life support and move on with life

Dedan= irl he's the father's brother in law with a snappy attitude and he hates the father alot and even objected in thier wedding day he will do anything to hurt the father or cause trouble

The father sees his brother in law nothing more than a all bark no bite a big mouth

Japhet= in real life is the lady that lives next door (yes I KNOW japhet is male but he's based off if her in the father's head)

She's is very controlling person who enjoys gossip and can't mind her own business always sticking her nose where she can as well as pushing everyone around she does everything she can to get attention and impress people and she's flirted with the father mutiple times but she's ignored her every time

She has very loud and noisy birds and has killed thier other family cat Venice saying that she did it as self defense (Venice is Valerie basically)

The father views her as a parasite

Enoch= he resembles another dad that takes his kid to baseball practice but is in bad terms with the mother and will constantly pick on hugo for fun

He assumes if the father approaches him its because his wife told him to do so

and will constantly say that his child and wife are happy ,living a life with no problems thinking that he's got life figured out

Even though its clear that his son isn't enjoying baseball at all, is quite over wieght as well as his wife ignores him all the time not to mention he's constantly eating meaning that he has some sort of food addiction it seems he sees no irony in his life at all

The father sees him as an irresponsible over wieght person who's always lying to himself and to blind to see the truth thinking that his life is ok when it's clearly not

Zacharie = irl he's the father's best friend since middle school and they've known each other for years he was the best man at the wedding he's bisexual and in a relationship with a girl named sweetie (please don't hate me batterie shippers QWQ!) He used to crush on the father and even confessed to him on the wedding day he was heartbroken but accepted that the relationship was never gonna happen and was even mad at his best friend but realized it was wrong of him to feel that way

He eventually moves on

He likes to bring and buy alot stuff and show them to his best pal later somegimes illegal stuff (he even brought weed over one time oh boy) he's like an uncle to hugo and is always happy to help and defend his best friend no matter what

He views him as a brother and family member aswell as a very optimistic chill dude and will jokingly refer to him as "the merchant"

Sugar: irl she's zacharie's gf (before her he had 2 toxic exes and she helped him out of those toxic relationships) she and the father don't really talk all that much so he knows little to absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that she likes to talk funny sometimes and is really into dolls and aliens and a slight addiction to eating pixie straws (straws filled with powered candy or sugar)

He views her as a silent person nothing much

The elsens= they are the people that the father meets/sees/interacts with everyday/every once in a while but don't have much of a connection with (you know like a co worker you have small talk with or barely ever see)

Now for the plot :

After the father enters a comma the son starts to go from school to the hospital (they're very close to each other and you can say hugo is 5-7 years old and ) and visits his dad everyday and calls out to him hoping it'd wake him up

The mother scolds him for running off without super vision and that his dad won't wake up if he keeps calling him that whatever he does is useless that his father will remain to be a lifeless bag of meat on a bed

Hugo doesn't give up ignoring his mother's words

She realizes that hugo has an obsession with his unconscious father that is affecting his studies along with his social life

Zacharie doesn't make this any better because he offers to pick up hugo after school to prevent him from getting abducted or lost along with his jokes all the time

She slowly starts to Contemplate turning off the life support machine wondering if it would fix everything

Hugo hasn't been paying attention in class and thier marriage has been having a issues lately her family never liked or accepted him she sees zacharie and others as annoying and problems bringers and maybe they'd have less expenses if hugo didn't have to go to baseball pratice every day not to mention he'd less likely get hurt if he stopped playing

Everyone else started to convince her to turn off life support they discuss this next to the unconscious father

She prevents zacharie from seeing hugo and locks out any other connections the fatehr has

finally she becomes convinced however there's 1 barrier preventing her from doing that.....Hugo

The only person who truly gives hugo attention and love is his father without his father he'd feel lost and scared his mother is always working and doesn't give him much attention

Everyone tells him to give up on his dad and move on but hugo stands his ground

Alot of the arguments and conversations happen in the hospital room next to the father so he hears everything in his comma which leads to the creation of the world of OFF in his head

Therefore we play as hugo through out the game (dressed in a baseball outfit) solving puzzles and fighting enemies "purifying" the world

Not much changes the boss battles the add ons etc. Will remain the same in this au

Maybe there will be more rubber duck /duck/ bird themed stuff in this au aside from the pedalos (ex:move the boxes to make them look like a duck idk lol)

However the final boss will change

Canonly batter is stopped by the judge but in this au the judge sides with hugo because its the queen (the mother) who is trying to turn the switch off and hugo is trying to prevent that

So instead of the judge stopping hugo

Hugo will meet the queen, she will tell him to halt and not bother going any further that her intentions will not change hugo will begin to tell her off everything she's done wrong she will respond saying that she's doing it for thier sake (Hugo's and her's) but hugo calls her out and tells her its not true and she loses her patience with him leading to a boss fight if hugo wins then she will refer to him as "my little sweetheart" and fade into dust

"The room" will also change instead of hugo it'll be his dad (the batter)chained to a wall (basically a prisoner in his own mind) hugo will take 1 step forward activating a trap causing him to plummet down a tube and fall unconscious for a few minutes

When he wakes up he sees the queen and all the guardians standing before him the queen states that he can give up or die trying then she speaks to the puppeteer (the player) the you are given 2 options

1.aide with the queen

2.side with hugo

If you side with the queen you will have the guardians ok your side then Hugo's appearance will change as well he will appear to have a large head with a huge gaping mouth a baby rattle and apron and speech bubbles that say "wah wah" "whine whine" (stating that his mother sees him as a cry baby)

If you defeat hugo then the switch is immediately turned off and it gives 1 out of the 2 bad endings this ending is called "check mate" as a reference to a queen from chess

If you side with hugo then you will be defeated but you won't get a game over yet instead the queen will give you 1 last chance

Then you are given 3 options

1."surrender" 2."gasp for help" 3."cry"

If you choose surrender then you will get the 2nd bad ending in which in life support is turned off the father dies hugo becomes lonely with his mother busy all the time (and not allowing him out side the house and not trusting people) which leads to hugo growing up cold,plain and unloving

At some point there's a scene where adult hugo stares at his old mother laying on the kitchen floor in pain for a few minutes instead of helping her immediately indicating that he doesn't care

If you choose "gasp for help" then you will get the good ending "aye batta batta,strike!" In which hugo will call for help (while in deep pain from the fight) after a few calls judge,zacharie,sugar and a few elsens will come to the rescue and revive you fighting by your side allowing you to defeat the queen and guardians

Everything slowly starts to go back and the father wakes up from his comma everyone in the room stares in shock but hugo had the biggest smile on his face while standing next to his dad's bed "did...I miss something?"

"...daddy *breaks into tears*"

The 3rd ending called "better late than never" is triggered when you choose "cry"

Hugo will cry very loudly

The mother changes her mind and doesn't turn off life support but hugo stops visiting his dad and similar to the 2nd bad ending hugo grows up to be cold and unloving 13-16 years later hugo visits his father again and he finally wakes up from his comma and is discharged from the hospital after 1 year of rehabilitation therapy

By now the mother had remarried and the father missed his son's childhood so now he has to relive his life

However hugo meets a girl who is a complete opposite to him at work and church (rainbow hair,optimistic,enjoys music of various kinds,loves cute things,baking,jokes,and artist etc.) And is forced to work with her as well as she tries to get Hugo's attention so he asks his father for advice on how to get rid of this woman which leads to alot stuff going on and hugo allowing how to love and live life leading him to falling in love with the girl and becoming a new man

(This is personally my favorite ending lol and I MIGHT write fanfic of it on wattpad or here idk tbh )

Anyway this my OFF au I GUESS the name can change to the ON au or OFF/ON au lmao idk

Reblogs and feed back is appreciated

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY AU i worked hard on this thing spent 5 hours to write it all

Heh I sat this as of anyone is even gonna read whatever I dount it'll get noticed at all

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mystoriesnotover3110 · 2 years ago

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Sometimes you are on my mind really heavy that's the reality I live with, I don't like speaking about you anymore but your face still flashes in front of me in the dark, I see you sometimes in my dreams even if you have no context in the dream. I'm currently listening to a song that was made after you passed away, its call “if I would have known” you are just a memory in my mind, sometimes I question if I really was with you those last few years of your life, but then I know I was because I still have access to videos and photos of us that I took when you were alive, I'm sure you know by now your family and I no longer really speak though I did call your dad a few weeks ago cause I heard that your sister had been in the hospital and it scared me naturally, i probably won’t see your family again unless something happens to one of your parents or siblings and I pray every day for them I hope your parents live a long life, and your sisters and brother... I probably won't publish this blog on my other page because I just know to many people have access to that account, I was thinking a year ago I was really in a dark place mentally I mean almost a month from now I tried to kill myself, all because what I thought might happen, actually happened, the guy I was dating is now dating your cousin and they are having a baby boy, that's fine cool and everything because id much rather been a healthy happy place in my life then still stuck somewhere I truly am not happy, now if I could get this whole work thing right and get the HELL away from food lion for good that would be icing on the cake. so there's this thing going around called COVID its been a thing since the beginning of 2020, I caught it, it’s crazy I worked in the public for two solid years and never got it then now that I changed jobs and I'm back down to where I was when you passed away, I catch the mess?? makes no sense to me what so ever but I guess you cant always be lucky, I know I wouldn't wish this mess on a single person I know in my life, the first day I had it I felt like I was DYING!! I honestly prayed to God That if that's how it was my time then just take me away any ways... Hailey is a true blessing, she makes it easier for me to not be sad, to truly let my emotions out. anyways Friday will officially be 4 years since you were alive that still blows my mind, I do know I really don’t get signs your around anymore but I know you are, but I know that's cause you see I'm truly happy with Hailey, I didn't see this 4 years, 4 years ago I would have said you and I would have gotten married and had a child by now but, GOD truly has his own plans for us. I know that me being who I am truly deep down is the best thing for me, I will bring you flowers on Friday, as always I always bring you flowers to show you that you aren't forgotten you will never be, like I said my CHILDREN will know who you were to me. Hailey has agreed to that, as well as if I have a son HIS middle name will be THOMAS, your daddy had a big part of my heart when I was with you.. I had many of conversations with him you had no Idea I had....I miss you Matthew in the sense I wish you could be here to have your own life to have your own children and wife, you missed out on so much this life could have offered you but I no longer question the why YOU! because I know God never makes a mistake. I hope you are climbing those mountains you once told me you wanted to take me to climb I hope your smiling down your sisters and brother and parents and I hope heaven is just the place the Bible always taught me as a child.. but ill stop by Friday to say hey and place flowers down for you if nit Friday definitely Thursday evening. my sweet angel you are forever missed and I will always have a special place in my heart for you. <3

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onisiondrama · 7 years ago

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this isn't really about Onion, but i've been looking at lots of blogs like yours and i'm starting to get uncomfortable that i'm a 17.5 yr old girl dating a 26 yr old man. i feel like he emotionally abuses me sometimes, he gets mad when i fall asleep early and tells me i don't love him. once, he told me he took 10 of his antidepressants at once and i was sobbing and shaking because he wouldn't respond to my texts. he said he wanted to die and i'd get over it. (1/2)

an hour and a half after he told me that, he was suddenly perfectly fine and he told me he actually only took 2 pills. i don't know what to do. do you have any advice?

~~~~~~~~

I don’t know you or your boyfriend personally so I don’t want to come off like I’m telling you what to do, but I’m going to pass along what “knowledge” I have and hopefully it will help. I’m going to say “you” a lot, but I’m talking in general, not personal. There are two major red flags I see.

1. The age difference

There is a HUGE power imbalance when a 17 year old dates an adult and it’s very layered so bear with me.

I’m going to be saying “power imbalance” and “power scale” a lot. What I mean by that is if someone has a higher position on the power scale in a relationship, they could use that against the person in the lower position to manipulate/control them. The further apart the people on the scale, the easier it is for the person higher on the scale to control the person lower. I hope this makes sense.

Emotional imbalance: I’m not saying it always happens, but it WAY easier for a 26 year old to emotionally manipulate a 17 year old than another 26 year old. A great example of this is actually Greg!

You can see that the relationships he started with 17 year olds and an 18 year old lasted WAY longer than the two relationships he had with women in their 20′s (Green and purple dots, they’re not actually dots they’re lines too but the relationships were so short the dots overlap). Both of the relationships with the women in their 20′s only lasted a few weeks and this is because they saw RIGHT THROUGH his emotionally manipulative tactics. Greg said that Hannah broke up with him because he told her he loved her after two weeks. This not normal. It’s a RED FLAG and it seems she took notice. Compare that to Lainey who was a 17 year old high school student when they began talking. They started dating Feb 27th and were already engaged by March. His pickup line was asking Lainey why they think he is their soulmate. Love-bombing a googley eyed teenager with a crush so they can get the relationship moving very fast and very intense. RED FLAG!

If you want, Greg’s ex Adrienne wrote a long email about her experience with Greg. (She was 26, he was 25) Although it is very long, I HIGHLY recommend it because she points out a lot of Greg’s manipulative techniques and she actually confronted him about it.

There is also a common technique adult men use on teenagers, I don’t know what it’s called, but they’ll say things like: “I don’t usually date someone so young, but you’re mature for your age.” “I’m afraid to talk to you because I might fall for you and you are so young.” etc etc.. they know full well what they are doing. It’s 100% BULLSHIT to make the teenager feel like they must be special to gain the interest of an adult and that THEY need to PROVE themselves to the adult. RED FLAG!! This puts the adult higher up on the power scale.

Financial imbalance: Dating a 26 year old as a teenager can be very appealing because 26 year olds generally make more money than other teenage potential dates. It could seem very luxurious. Like dating an 18 year old boyfriend, picking you up in his used car, getting a slice of pizza, then going to his parents house to watch a movie. Compare that to getting picked up in a nicer car, get taken out to a decent restaurant, then go over to his own apartment! It makes the teenager feel like an adult. That you’re more special than other teenagers you know. Again, puts the adult higher on the power scale.

Another financial aspect is dependence. Most 17 year olds are dependent on their parents and trying to figure out what they will do with their life. Go to school? Start working? Try to move out? An adult dating a teenager can give them the illusion of financial independence. Move in with me! It might feel like freedom at first. You aren’t dependent on your parents, you don’t have to worry about your future for the time being... but this could all be a trap. You went from being dependent on your parents to being dependent on your partner and they might use that against you. This very much puts the adult way higher on the power scale than the teenager.

This can also get tricky when wanting to leave a live-in relationship as a teenager. Moving back home with your parents? Starting financially over from square one and having to listen to “I-told-you-so’s” from your family? It almost seems better to just stick it out and wait for the good times.

Life Experience imbalance: 26 years olds tend to have more life experience than a teenager. A 17 year old teenager doesn’t really know what is normal and not normal in a relationship, how fast should things move along. What is normal and not normal in the bedroom. They would not know how to properly introduce things like BDSM or poly relationships into their life and generally adults will take advantage of that when that’s something they want.

Brain development: A 17 year old brain isn’t fully developed. They just aren’t it’s fact. That’s why in the US the drinking age is 21. The rational/decision making/consequence predicting part of the brain is not fully developed. It doesn’t matter how high your grades are, how mature your body looks, or how mature everyone says you act. You’re going to make dumb decisions, we all do it at that age.

2. Emotional Abuse

This part I will get personal. It’s good that you recognize what he is doing might be emotional abuse because it is. Threatening suicide is 100% a fucked up, emotionally manipulative things to do to someone. The fact that he only took two pills tells me he had NO intention of dying and only wanted to control you. Again, Greg is a great example of this. In 2012 he publicly threatened suicide because he was trying to gain the attention of his ex-wife so he could convince her to cancel their alimony. (Here is his posts and videos from that time.) What did he say about it years later? That horrible time in 2012 when he was sooo emotionally distraught he was thinking about killing himself?

In the 2016 video "Re: List of Onision Abuse Accusations", Greg admits he used threatening to kill himself as a manipulation tactic against Skye: “That is true. I did publicly threaten to kill myself. I have no defense for that because publicly threatening to kill yourself is really stupid. Especially since that was a manipulative tactic and I had no actual intention of killing myself.” He says he was angry at Skye for lying in court to get more money from him.

It was fake. He faked it. He admitted it was an emotionally manipulative tactic. No intentional of killing himself. 100% bullshit, 100% RED FLAG!

NOW.. If any of this resonates with you and you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and want to get out, you can do it!

Emotionally manipulative people like control. They might make it hard to leave. I think the best way to get is no contact. Break up and walk away, block them, ignore them. They might try all kinds of things to gain back control over you like threatening suicide, trying to get you back, or spreading lies about you. Hopefully none of that will happen, but if someone does threaten to commit suicide after you break up with them and they can’t seem to be talked out of it, try not to get back together with them to make them feel better. I haven’t been able to find any guide or what to do on the internet about a situation like that (I tried to find one a few months ago for a friend, but had no luck), but I knew someone in HS in a situation like that. They called the police and their ex had to explain to the police and hospital that they weren’t actually suicidal.

If anyone has any better advice for a situation like that, please let me know. Again, I had a hard time finding information online.

I did find this article about how to leave a narcissist, but I think it could apply to any emotionally manipulative person because it gives steps to to prevent the narcissist/emotional manipulator from gaining back control over you.

If anyone has any better advice or want to correct me please do so!

Good luck anon!!!

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doodlelolly · 7 years ago

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Jumping in head first

Simplicity is something that has always evaded me. My mind does not rest. I suppose I should begin by way of explanation.

My name is Jennifer. I'm 29 years old. I'm a six time survivor of suicide attempts, the most recent being just this last July where I was hospitalized for a length of time. I have had depression for the majority of my life. I'm a wife and a mom to two little girls, age 8 and 7. I will refer to them in this blog as Doodle and Lolly respectively to maintain privacy. Because I'm going to discuss some heavy shit. I'm probably going to go overboard. The purpose of this blog is to capture emotion. I will be chronicling my journey with depression and anxiety and it will be an exercise in revealing my emotions as well. That is something I've never been good at either. I'm going to try and set the least self-deprecating path I can, which will also be a challenge. I want to make something clear: these are my feelings, and mine alone. Everyone's story is unique. I try not to compare myself to others, mostly because I'm afraid I won't measure up, but I certainly hope that no one will compare themselves to me. Think of this as a documentary of sorts.

So we will jump right into to tonight's train of thought. Have you ever thought "God, I really should talk to someone about how I feel, but nobody will listen. Nobody really gives a shit." That's me tonight. Now the rational part of me knows this is not true. But some nights are harder to keep out the dark thoughts than others. I'm an extreme insomniac. I don't sleep because the night time is the worst for me. When all goes quiet, I have more time to think. When I have more time to think, the unsavory thoughts seem to wheedle in. Too much noise, and I have an anxiety attack. And it happens more than you might think. I just can't win.

Today was a rough day. Full of noise and anxiety. I find that the worse my day is, the harder my nights are. So here we are. At 5:51 AM after another sleepless night. I can keep the thoughts at bay this way. The whisperings of my being a failure and a fuck up. I read. I write. I sing. I read and write some more. Rinse and repeat. Ruts are safer. Routine is good. Repetition is life. Such is the balance between anxiety and depression.

I can't seem to shake the urge to cry tonight. It's maddening. I'm not even sure why I want to cry, but the ache in my chest and the burning in my nose tell me it's something I should do. I probably won't. Maybe later. It's cathartic to cry sometimes. Most often it takes me to a darker place so I fight it. But tonight it gnaws. Oh well.

It takes a lot of reminding for me to remember on nights where I feel low that I have depression, that it does not have me. Because I feel firmly in its grasp now. But I have depression, it does not, in fact, have me. It's a process. I'll believe it someday. I'm not sure of the validity of "fake it til you make it" but it's worked well for me so far. So far. And here's where the second guessing comes in.

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm jumping all over the place. I'm writing down thoughts and emotions as they come in to me to make this as authentic as possible. I'm sure the majority of you readers gave probably given up by now. I sound like a lunatic. But it feels real. This jumbled mess of a first blog entry. It feels like my mind. Drifting through several thoughts at once, hardly any of them pleasant. But still fighting to maintain control. Remember I mentioned the logical side of me? Well, I know I sound crazy. Maybe I am. But the logical side of me is the fighter side of me. The one that pushes back against those dark thoughts for the falsities that they are. It keeps me in check. It makes me not want to die.

Surprisingly, dying and the thought of dying scares me. I know, super odd for someone who seems hellbent on killing themselves (*cough* 6 times *cough*) but it's the truth. My suicidal thoughts are highly irrational. And with therapy and the right medication, I have been able to let my logical brain take primary focus. Which is a great thing. Now while I can suppress these thoughts and urges, they are never really eradicated. They always linger at the edge of my mind, just off the radar. Some of them slip by occasionally, but I can tamp it down. I'm in control. Even when my life feels so out of control. Which is always.

The most important thing I can remember is that I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor. And no one is alone with these kinds of thoughts. Not even me, despite my traitorous mind's efforts to convince me of the contrary. I am not alone. If you're reading this and this sparked something in you, YOU are not alone. You can fight. You can win. We both can. We all can.

Fight back with everything you have.

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