#i hope at least half of this makes sense bc i didn't use translate once and my brain doesn't really work so

[imeriayapping]

hey!!! how are you doing?

ohmygosh for the liloscar imagine liam having a seat in the alpha tauri and logan and oscar don't have a proper friendship anymore and liam and logan get super close since they were team mates in f2 (i think??? i dont follow them unfortunately but ill read anything you write all ur ideas are fantastic) and then oscar gets jealous like that should be me so he goes to logan and they get in an argument abt this and they both basically declare their love for each other and then logan gets all confused and shaken up because he thought he had a good thing with liam going on and now his feelings are all confused to he talks to liam about it and he says he likes logan too but they want to focus on their careers so they put a pin on it or smth and then later on oscar finds liam in a little breakdown because of his seat and the rumours if he's good enough to move up to rb or if he's gonna be replaced mid season and oscar knows how it feels like to never have ur seat confirmed to move up and basically being treated like shit bc of alpine so he goes and comforts him and liam's like huh ohmygosh how nice and he grows feelings for him too so they all like each other and bam: relationship

and then there could be little snippets of ppl on social media posting abt them because they keep their relationship public but private so they never say anything abt it and ppl just speculate and it's never confirmed

sorry for the ramble, have a lovely day 💕

Don't apologise for your rambling it was amazing to read!!!!

But i would probably go a bit different about it, maybe Logan got that second alpha tauri seat so now they can actually spend time together while his friendship with oscar went a bit still. It takes effort from both sides to keep up texting or meetups and getting into f1 made it harder for them. And then there was last year with Williams that hit Logan pretty hard so keeping in touch was hard. Oscar not really reaching out first, too wrapped in his own team did affect this too.

So now Logan is constantly in close proximity to liam and they are back to their f2 flirting and all that. Oscar mostly see that online in pr vids that they make or something like that and it annoys him because it wasn't like that even with Alex so he gets snappy in any interactions they have which is strange and highly unusual for oscar.

And one too many comments bring logan and oscar into some far away location, maybe even one evening when they stay in the same hotel or something. At first it's very still and tense conversation, but then oscar let something slip and it actually angers logan bc he wasn't there for Logan when everything was shit and liam did so there no reason for him to act like this. Then he admits his feelings not noticing the slip bc of how furious he is. Oscar answers also very heated that he in fact also have feelings for Logan and it all goes on.

They don't do anything about it because Logan needs some space to think but now they at least acknowledged attraction between them which is something

Logan talks to liam about all of this bc they both know that something is there but just never talked about it. And above all else liam is his friend so they literally just talk about it like "i know that i like you and that you like me too but here this thing with oscar and i have no fucking idea what to do" and in the end they decide to just wait till summer break when they can have some uninterrupted time together and see what will come from that

And then happens part with liam breaking down (maybe because he already with rb for so long but now that logan is also here they have practically same treatment and not really any prospects for rb seat bc yuki now have it?)and oscar and liam open their eyes toward eachother and then they all actually get to the relationship part during summer break hehe

[abri-chan]

Reading SB BL chapter 34, where 1) Minho had decided to end his life, so he really said let me have a good fuck beforehand, 2) WK thinks Minho fucking him is an opening to make him fall for him, and acting like they're newlyweds (oh I love you, like that makes up for me raping you), 3) Minho deciding to kill himself instead of killing WK, at least take him with you, don't let him off the hook.

That tie will break, or WK will get up to piss and catch Minho mid act, and then WK will make this all about himself again.

Minho, do one good thing in this SB universe: kill WK steal his money, then write your life story as a best-seller, I beg you.

(I already lost hope for WK once he started begging for men for pussy, instead of Doona. Not that Doona would take him, because he's trash. But Minho? Pathetic Minho?

And the fact Minho keeps being pathetic and directing his anger inwards? This time you're not in the wrong Minho--WK fucked you up. It's not your fault, you should make WK suffer, make him your sub bitch idk. But don't go thinking he really loves you (does WK even know what loving is, and no he does not love you), and now you can kill yourself and be at peace.)

In short, don't do it, Minho, you may survive.

(I do think he may survive bc we are shown the sounds right at the end... I think if he was gonna die for real, you would either show him dead by the end of the chapter or by the middle. Yes, this version builds suspense but it betrays that he will survive bc storywise, he would be dead by the opening of next chapter, so epilogue would be too short for the second half. Or you'd have to spend a whole chapter waiting if he died or not to find out he died at the end, and you feel the suspense is gone by one chapter prior. Maybe he has to be taken to the hospital or falls into a coma...

So to explain this better, storytelling wise, death of main character can happen at the end of the chapter as a very strong punch to the gut, or at the middle of the chapter to leave plenty space for an epilogue--say how others react to that death etc. The way it is set up right now, Minho will die at the beginning of next chapter, and that makes sense only for non main character bc 1) you wasted the chance to make the punch stronger by killing him right at the end of prior chapter, 2) there's 3/4 epilogue space let's say, and that's too much that you forgot the punch, or 3) worst case, you kill him at the end of next chapter but now the punch has no strength bc you dragged the death concept too long)

--

From the cover of the spinoff

Is that the mark of the tie from the recent chapter? Of his failed suicide attempted (maybe he's depressed it didn't work...)? Or just the chain mark from the first few chapters (notice the bruised face from punching... either way foreshadowing)

--

Real quick from reading the English translation.

Minho's face is all of us right now.

("this bitch serious?")

(In general, I noticed from the beginning of this manga to now, Minho's eyes get smaller and smaller and more and more tired. But since this chapter teases is to suicide possibly, it's also a metal for how his field-view of life is getting closer and closer, and more and more of the world turns dark.)

WK is an idiot, and he shows he hasn't changed one bit. He tells Minho how much he loves him, and how he wants to change, but notice how his behavior speaks. He tries to kiss Minho after sex Minho pushes him away, Minho starts moaning and whining "I'm a changed man but please oh please let me kiss you. I won't shut up until you do." It is important to WK to get that kiss, to seal the sex that just happened as making love, bc he wants to believe it is intimate, and that he may have a chance with Minho now. As though, all is forgiven bc WK loves Minho now, so forget the rape, forget how he still won't respect Minho's boundaries of not wanting to kiss, plus also, how he goes back to his old ways to wear Minho down until Minho agrees. This is further cemented by Minho's answer "do as you want." So WK fails twice, by being the definition of Minho giving up an inch and WK taking a foot, and by lying to himself that if he gets the action of intimacy (a kiss after sex), this will equal the act of intimacy, as though the action itself will make it true.

There's another scene which I'm tired to find screenshots about but it goes as follows: WK holding on to Minho's shirt in bed, like a little child. So Minho says "don't cling to me", and at first I was excited bc I thought Minho meant "you are annoying", but the panel that follows "I don't want to have anything tying me to this world." It must be that the "..." during the scene of WK's love confession is Minho making a decision about WK's words, and his decision was to believe him, and as he says walking towards the door, knowing one person loved him was enough to fill he was worth something. I doubt WK loves Minho, but WK thinks he does, and Minho chooses to believe it bc he wants to be worth something and he thinks if one person can love him, he is not utter scum and he has some value. And now he can make peace that his life didn't go without leaving a mark on someone. (It is also that he sees WK clinging as something that tied him to the world, so something desirable as opposed to annoying, which as much as I think he should have hurt WK, I can't reason with a man about to commit suicide.)

(I went and found the panels after all)

The panels denoting Minho's dark thoughts are very well drawn actually, and interesting too. The darkness, like ink flows into him, from his head (he made the decision), down his neck, and toward his body. And the light of the bathroom as the light of salvation, bc he wants to end it all. It's a nice play on dark and light, and also the way suicidal thoughts are presented visually.

I'm also kinda annoyed with WK bc he's the annoying kind of clingy: he needs Minho for affirmation. He makes it all about himself, and even when extending an ounce of understanding to Minho getting raped by WK's friends, he forgets soon after they have sex, and acts as though they're lovers on a honey moon, as though Minho is in the right state of mind to tend to WK's emotional needs. And for what? So WK can use his as an experimental rat to test and figure out what he wants on? WK thinks that bc all is right in his head now: he knows what he wants, all must also be right with the world, and it doesn't work like that. He has yet to grow past that age when a child closes his eyes and thinks the world around them doesn't exist, because other people surely can't exist if he doesn't see them, and they can't feel if he doesn't witness.

--

I was reading/am reading Legs which cannot walk along with SB in the current timeline, and it is funny to me that as of right now Teasung (a mafia boss) and the uke there may have a happy ending (chapter 80), while SB BL spinoff is heading for suicide: a rich entitled kid can use more trouble, it seems, than a prostitute child who grew up in the streets and raised in ranks through murder (make of it what you will). There were so many parallels btw Taesung and WK in this spinoff, like chaining the "uke" to the bed, but one is a gangster, and the other is a rich kid that supposedly is a decent citizen, so again, make of it what you will.

[sadbreadcrumb]

good god i'm such a mess. thesis defence is tomorrow. my thesis is shit. like, not all of it, the actual body of it is kinda ok i guess bc i actually did try. but everything else is absolute shit. i don't even know what's written in introduction and conclusion parts, source listing is like almost non-existent in the sense that, yeah, i did mark everything but. i'm not sure i used actual titles everywhere and nothing is named 'the one work that my groupmate translated for me' in the footnotes. formatting is shit. everything is hideous and i'm uhhh afraid to open the file bc i don't want to see how badly i'd fucked up.

i'm also afraid to look at the reviews. i only know the reviewer says the work is passable, which is miraculous, really. and my research adviser actually said that 'the work was submitted last-minute which is surprising seeing as the student had a full year to write the thesis' in the fucking review. like, really? you and i both fucking know it's not surprising in the slightest and neither of us actually cares about this fucking work. but does literally everyone need to know that?.. also, thank you for not once asking me how's it going during the last two years. and i only heard from someone else that you don't feel obligated to 'run after students'. i understand this thesis is my responsibility and all, but, like, you understand how it makes you look, no? thank you for showing how much you don't give a single fuck, i'm disappointed but not surprised i guess.

anyway, i didn't contact anyone and didn't ask for advice and submitted the half-baked thesis last moment and i'm not sure i'm going to graduate this year either lol. i have one day to make a power point and prepare the speech lol.

also, i've been feeling like super weird all this time, like i don't really understand what's going on, my sense of time is nonexistent, and i continue sleeping all day and night long. like, i wake up, read some good omens fanfiction (which i took liking to all of a sudden), drink my tea, eat my sugared bread or whatever, walk the dog, drink my tea, read some fanfiction, sleep, wake up, read fanfiction, drink my tea, walk the dog and then sleep until morning. occasionally make food for the dog. i used to at least like spending time in the shower, warm water, singing and all. well, i don't anymore, it became a chore. everything but drinking tea and sleeping and reading fanfiction feels like a chore, what the fuck is wrong with me. i hope it gets better after i'm done with the thesis (or after i fail and get this stupid work ready for the last attempt lol). ugh.

oh, and also that one friend who had to be taken to hospital is doing terrible. nobody but her and the hospital stuff actually know the diagnosis but it looks bad to me. she can barely speak and can't even hold her phone for like five minutes. she doesn't want to tell me what's up on the phone and nobody is allowed to see her. all we know is that she was taken to the surgery department. everyone thought it was tuberculosis but i guess not. probably something oncologic. which is not going to end well, i think. (i hope my thoughts don't affect the reality and any way...)

so yeah. huh. good luck with that thesis defence, stupid lil breadling, i guess.