#i hope I got this info right because I haven't actually gotten to the arc yet but I know a lot about it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kindlespark · 4 months ago

Note

hello, this is the anon who sent august that really long fhjy ask - thanks for your thoughts!! they helped me understand some of the season's strengths that weren't as apparent to my tastes - i think you're so right that the temple was a high point and i greatly sympathize with the sentiment of like, it all could've been so much more compelling if the bad kids had keyed into that more (which i think is also partly on brennan's presentation of info as GM, ofc - not saying it's anyone's responsibility alone). i'm still not sold on porter that much, but i can understand your perspective and i do appreciate some of his moments - i enjoyed him being a terrible teacher to gorgug because of the tension it created within the party (isn't this bad teaching? is it not? that self-doubt was really dramatically satisfying, especially in the twist payoff). i also think you're right that the finale truly muddies the waters of what the ratgrinders' thematic positioning was - as much sense as it makes that they're genderbent foils, it feels like each member gets less and less pointed - kipperlily and riz are the clearest parallel followed by kristen and buddy, but then like ruben and fig's interactions were essentially just bits, oisin and adaine basically boil down to differing access to generational wealth, and then gorgug/maryann and ivy/fabian are basically just like rage/apathy and ranged/melee. and i don't necessarily think fleshing this all out would've made the season good, but i think (and i want to say this came up in the podcast) it was overambitious/overcomplex to combine the ratgrinders' story with porter's - hence the very confused finale. on a more positive note, i actually totally agree that the downtime system was fun and thematic! the reason i cited that aspect as a negative is more because of the eventual execution, where a lot of the ratgrinder elements got sidelined and relegated to "we'll resolve that later" - as flavorful as it was, there were times when i felt like it didn't mesh with the beats brennan expected or it stymied the group's efforts to investigate things in favor of siloing them. this is a more meta criticism but another reason i don't quite gel with the porter story is because it's the reason brennan asked emily to play as fig this season even though she didn't want to, and while i trust that she genuinely chose to go along with him in that, it definitely felt like she (and brennan) struggled to find a new throughline/arc for fig (especially since the ruben thing went nowhere) and i don't feel like that sacrifice was worth what we got with regard to porter (and ruben, as her foil) - when i think of fig's storyline this season it just feels kind of empty/reactive. anyway, i hope it's clear i don't say this to argue with your opinions and i certainly don't begrudge anyone hoping for a satisfying narrative from d20 especially considering their past successes (i couldn't agree more that fhsy and tuc are some of their finest work in this regard - easily two of my favorite seasons alongside acofaf!). i'm still exploring my relationship to subtextual readings of actual plays - i love literary criticism so i appreciate many fan theories as emotional/philosophical exercises, but with TTRPGs i often have a harder time as compared to pre-written material given their more improvisatory/fluctuating nature. as such, the shooting schedule looms large here, and i mourn What Could've Been if the cast had gotten to rest and reflect between sessions right alongside you... ah well, there's always another season <3

hello!!! thank u for a really great ask!!! sorry it took me so long to get to it, i literally haven't been logged into tumblr on desktop since i saw it and typing up a good reply on mobile would've been impossible LOL

i pretty much agree with all your points here; especially the one with fig's arc this season. i think emily should've trusted her gut and retired her after her near perfect arc in fhsy, and that brennan shouldn't have had her in this season just for the porter reveal (which could've been a fun twist even with a new character, given that emily would've still had her suspicions). her arc this season is rly meandering and inconclusive which is such a shame. the problem is that i just REALLY love porter as a villain LOL. or rather, i love porter as a concept of the villain he could've been but that was never really treated seriously as such by the show. he represents so much of what i thought this season's themes would address--he's a symbol (as a teacher) of the unfair and fucked up school system and the power it holds over kids, as well as the concepts of rage and manipulation and radicalisation and revenge. that shit is super interesting to me (also as a teacher), and if all of this was engaged with it would've been incredible. alas!

but yeah me and august were talking abt ur ask like ur literally right and we wish we had ur foresight for the season tho LMAO. like perhaps my blinders were on because truly up until the last three episodes brennan was giving me everything, conceptually, that i wanted. i wanted trg to be sympathetic villains, and they were! i wanted kipperlilly and lucy to be best friends and have tragic yuri potential, and they did! i wanted jace to also be a victim of porter's, and he was! there was a moment before the last three episodes where i was convinced nothing could go wrong and this would be my favourite d20 season ever LMFAOOOOOO OH HOW THE PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL

wrt literary criticism and d20, i totally get what you mean. i've been a real hater about this season but i'm usually pretty forgiving about the improvisatory and comedic aspects of d20 seasons believe it or not LMAO. m&m is one of my favourite d20 seasons of all time, i do not care that the ending flopped spectacularly bc of the tone, dice rolls and bad jokes. acoc is another one of my favourite seasons of all time, but the back half of it is super lacklustre in comparison to the first half, and i was completely zoned out of the rushed and anticlimactic final combat until calroy came in. these things did not taint my enjoyment of the show--it's always been forgivable and understandable to me because well, yeah, comes with the improv liveplay territory!! i love analysing the shows thematically and have my critique but ultimately understand there's things no one can predict or account for. i think fhjy's case in particular was just so egregious to me; the themes felt so much more obvious, the character hooks right there, the set-up so good, that i truly had never been so disappointed by a d20 finale helppppp

like i'm used to d20 seasons not having themes that are perfectly executed or followable; when i make my posts about wishing that fhjy was about the unfair school system, it's more like... wishing that anything could've happened that would've made it possible to come to my own conclusions on that theme. i'm ALWAYS reading too deep for my analysis of d20, and i'm super aware of it--this is part of the fun of it for me, thinking about implications and characters the creators didn't have time to, fleshing out ideas and subplots that didn't go anywhere, death of the author and all that. it's just that this season's main plot and themes, more than any other d20 season for me so far, felt so completely incoherent, despite its direction being so completely obvious to me, that i couldn't even pretend to come up with coherent analysis for it and i was left absolutely flabbergasted LOLLL

and maybe that's on me! it's definitely not a mistake i'm going to take into another d20 season, i've actually made my peace with the fact im probably never gonna get another fhsy or tuc or even acoc from d20 again (or at least the main IH cast) and that's okay..... i actually almost relapsed into taz the other day i was so desperate for a good ending AHJFSKFSFSFS

anyway this got long sorry i had a lot of thoughts. thank u for ur messages anon!

#ask #anon #d20 #meta

9 notes · View notes

solar-pxwered · 2 years ago

Text

In which Nami makes good on her promise to make Sanji work off his debt to her for his betrayal and regretful words are spoken.

One-Shot No warnings. Just good old fashioned angst and hurt/comfort dynamics. A little hint of my shipping preference tossed in there. Maybe I'll continue this and make it way more shippy and smutty, who knows? Knowing myself, probably.

-------- will put a readmore here as soon as I get on my laptop, but tumblr mobile sucks and I don't know how to put one here anymore on the app ------------

I'm going to drive you like a horse.

That was the promise she had made to him so sternly when they'd had a moment alone in that hallway...and it was a promise she was holding herself to firmly.

Drive him she did. Any chore needing done on the Sunny, no matter how trivial or how difficult, was given to him. Chopper needed help organizing? Sanji was on it. Franky needed help fixing? Sanji was there. Bathroom needed a deep clean? Sanji's job now. Deck needed a good swab? Not good enough...Sanji was going to scrub the ENTIRE ship with a cloth, bucket and good old fashioned elbow grease. The sails needed to be furled or raised? Sanji was the one sent running to the main sail while Zoro had been demoted to the rear. Sure, the heavy main sail would be easier for Zoro whose upper body strength far surpassed the cook's, but that would defeat the purpose.

One problem with her little slave driver plan...he wasn't resisting even a little bit, in fact he took on every task she gave him with no complaints and a smile and even an enthusiastic "Of course, Nami-san." It wasn't at all the contrition and penance she had hoped to see. She wanted him to regret his betrayal, to feel just a hint of the pressure she had felt on her body and soul in his absence as she took over his work and existed in the empty space he left, she wanted him to suffer as she had and it just wasn't fair that he wasn't even fazed by her workload.

And so she upped the ante.

She began waking him up in the middle of the night with outlandish requests for midnight snacks of the most random or complicated variety she could come up with and assigning him to more than his fair share of night watches; she was pleased to see the sleep deprivation was beginning to take a toll on his cheerful compliance. His shoulders were slumped as he worked now, his pace was slowing even when it came to cooking the meals, she caught him rubbing at his red and heavy eyes frequently, and his grinning "Of course, Nami-san"s were a thing of the past.

Even so, he never complained or asked her to let up on him. He took every midnight wake up call in stride and never fell asleep on watch, he scrubbed the deck on hands and knees every day and left it perfectly squeaky clean, no job assigned was half-assed.

And it pissed Nami off more than ever. She was happy he was back safe and sound but it didn't seem fair to her that he should get off scott free like Luffy had allowed. She was not so lenient on betrayal as their Captain. Those two may have settled things in that field, but she had gotten no such closure yet.

The crew had all begun to give him sympathetic looks when Nami would order him to help one of them out, they would insist they could manage on their own but she insisted harder. Still, no one spoke up against her because everyone knew this was something she needed to do to move past it and so they let her take out her frustration while giving Sanji apologetic little smiles. Chopper had spoken out at one point but Nami had silenced him with a glare that had left him leaking little tears out of his eyes as he went back to crushing herbs.

Even Zoro, who had initially been very amused by the workhorse role given to the cook, had winced and very nearly resisted when Sanji showed up to take watch for the third night in a row. He had settled on a silent exchange of understanding between the two of them and then a muttered "If you need me, you know where to find me" before retiring to the bunks.

Usopp, Brook and Luffy attempted to make any chore he was given that was a task they themselves should be doing less of a burden by telling jokes and trying to make him laugh. It worked sometimes, but not nearly as much as it used to.

Robin was the one who took actual, physical initiative to alleviate the burden on Sanji's shoulders and Nami was annoyed to see a second pair of hands frequently working alongside the blonde while their owner sat in a deck chair reading as if nothing was amiss. Sneaky, Robin, but not sneaky enough to get past Nami's observant gaze.

Something had to give, she knew it and he knew it and everyone knew it...but she refused to budge, he was going to break first and once he was begging for her to let him get back to his normal duties and get some decent sleep THEN she would let up. But he didn't, he showed no signs of begging for anything, and it was irksome.

Nothing lasts forever and strings pulled so tight were bound to fray and snap eventually, and everything came to a head one early morning during a request for sugared tangerine peels at 2 AM on his night off from watch.

"Sugared tangerine peels is definitely a new one." Sanji commented as he sliced expertly around the fruits just deep enough to penetrate the peel but not the flesh underneath. His skills remained sharp even in his exhausted state, the dark circles under his eyes and the heavy downward turn of his lips were the only signs of how tired he truly was. Normally he was all smiles when cooking anything, especially if it was for her or Robin.

"I just had a craving, that's all." Nami replied, checking her nails as if this whole situation was a bore to her. Secretly though, she was admiring the skillful way his hands worked at the task. She had always been fascinated by how naturally he fit in the kitchen, like he didn't even need to think about what he was doing at all. She had taken on the role of cook in his absence and she hadn't been nearly as good or fast...but she had managed to keep the crew fed and alive anyway. It was hard work, providing for that many people, three meals a day. She had to admit that he earned his keep.

"Happy to make you anything you want, Nami-swan." His sentiment was the usual, but even though she knew he meant it as seriously as ever, there was a weariness in his tone that hadn't been there before and Nami smirked at the realization he was beginning to fold under the pressure.

So why not add a little bit more? Just for fun, of course, because it was always so easy...and she would never admit out loud that she had begun to miss his normal, lust-filled gaze; it had been replaced by exhaustion for a while now. So she waited until he had turned to place the newly removed peels on the tray he had set on the counter between and then she stretched her arms over her head, purposely accentuating and pushing forward her chest that was covered only by her very thin and lacy sleep camisole. She added a cherry on top by making a very sensual sound as she stretched the sleep induced tension from her muscles. Sanji's throat bobbed as he swallowed tightly, she noticed, and she caught his gaze on her chest a moment before he noticed her watching him and he averted his eyes immediately. Well, that certainly wasn't the reaction she wanted...how could she tease him if he refused to even look at her long enough for it to count?

"See something you like?" She asked, her tone deadpan.

"Everytime I see you."

What kind of response was that? Honest and open and infuriatingly innocuous.

Annoyed that her little plan had failed, she crossed her arms and leaned back from the counter, pouting slightly with her brow furrowed. She didn't know how to respond to that so she went back to observing him instead. He worked silently, laying the peels out perfectly even on the baking tray, but then she noticed the tiniest trickle of red descending on his upper lip. A nosebleed, of course, but a singular drop from flared nostrils and not the typical steady flow. She found herself even more annoyed that he'd managed to keep his composure even when her little display HAD effected him after all.

"Why do you always do that?" She griped, gesturing vaguely at him.

"Do what?" He finally looked up at her again, wiping away the small drop of blood with the back of his left arm and quirking his stupid, singularly visible curly eyebrow at her questioningly.

That made her even more annoyed, the swirl above his blue eye reminded her of where he came from and the secrets he'd hid from them all for so long; her mind filled with the leering gazes of his brothers when they'd seen her and her gut twisted at the memory of the look in Sanji's own eyes when he had looked at her. Not sexually like his brothers, but with such intense hatred she was sure she would burn up on the spot.

"Flare your nose like that?" She clarified, hotly. "It's like you're trying to smell me or something. You can't, can you?"

For the first time since she'd woken him up, his lips quirked in an amused smile.

"Of course not. Not from over here."

"Well, how am I supposed to know what you're capable of?" Her tone was cold, accusing, and his smile faltered. She should have taken that as a cue not to say anything more, that he had received the message loud and clear, but her words spilled out too fast for her brain to stop them. "You're a failed science experiment, after all."

The silence that followed her statement was deafening and her regret was instantaneous, but there was no taking it back and she knew it. The line that she had been toeing so carefully between reasonable punishment and pure sadism had not only been crossed, she had practically made a leap from one side to the other. The way he was looking at her made her feel sick to her stomach, she had never seen such an expression on his face before and she never, ever wanted to see it again.

She couldn't speak. He couldn't speak. Neither of them made a sound. They just stared at each other for what must have been mere seconds but felt like an eternity.

"Sanji...." she began, not even knowing where to go from here, but she closed her mouth almost immediately. To her absolute horror, tears had begun to well up in Sanji's eyes and she felt her heart plummet to her belly.

He broke their staring contest first, ducking his head and turning his back to her, shaking hands reaching into his pockets to find a cigarette and his lighter. He pulled one out and put it between his lips and it shook there too. His lighter's flame shook as well from a mixture of his unsteady hands and the staccato rhythm of the very quick and short breaths he was taking. The flame burnt out and he tried again. After four tries, he managed to light up and he pulled in such a deep drag that Nami found her own lungs burning in sympathy.

When he finally released the long held breath, smoke billowing out around him, the full weight of her words struck Nami solidly in the chest and her own eyes began to tear up. She knew the details of his unfortunate past, she knew why he had done what he had done, she knew everything that had happened to him while they were separated, and she finally saw him with eyes unclouded by betrayal and anger. This is was still her Sanji in front of her, the same idiot who had fallen for her the second he'd seen her on the Baratie, the same fool who had sacrificed himself for her safety over and over again, the same moron who would do anything for a mere whim of hers to become reality, and the same man who had seen no opportunity to save his crew again without taking it all on his own shoulders. Not a failed anything, but her friend. Maybe her BEST friend. Maybe more...? But she'd been treating him like a prisoner, like someone she felt nothing for, making him suffer more than he already had.

Judge Vinsmoke's final words to his son as they had passed by him after stealing Sanji back rang in her head. She had sounded just like that horrible demon of a man just then and she hated herself for it!

"That was..." she tried to speak again but Sanji interrupted her this time.

"How you really felt." He finished her sentence for her, although not at all what she would have said. His tone was flat and empty, lacking the pain and tearful choke she thought it would have held. The nicotine in his veins must have been doing it's job; he was calm. Too calm. "And also the truth."

"It's NOT!" Nami let go of every ounce of anger she'd been holding onto in that moment, pushing the tray of carefully arranged tangerine peels out of her way so she could launch herself across the counter to stand in front of him, reaching out to grab his shirt, fisting it firmly in her clenched hands. "It's not the truth and it's not how I really feel!"

His calm tone had been a carefully maintained wall, she knew as soon as she looked at him. His voice may have come off calm and collected but his face told a whole other story. His eyes were no longer just brimming with tears, they were freefalling off of his long, dark lashes and sliding down his reddened cheeks. His jaw was trembling from the effort of holding everything inside, but it was what she could see in the blue tinted windows to his soul that got to her most of all: understanding.

Understanding because he truly believed what she had said, what everyone said about him, what he's been told over and over again.

"It's okay, Nami, you're not wrong," He managed to get the words out somehow, however stiffly they left his mouth, "I just didn't expect to hear you say it."

Her grip on his oversized sleeping shirt tightened even more, impossibly firm to the point her nails were digging into her palm even through the white material. She tried her best to give him what she hoped was the most intensely repentant look she was capable of.

"I was wrong! He was wrong too! You're not a failure in any way! You're GOOD, Sanji, you're so, so good and brave and strong and...and..."

Human. He was so starkly human. His mother's sacrifice had been a success. Like Bellemere had given her life for two girls who were worth more to her than life itself, Sora Vinsmoke had given everything she had so that her children wouldn't be remembered by the world as mistakes. He was living proof of the power of self sacrifice and the profound strength of a mother's love, just as she and her sister were.

Nami found she couldn't put all that into words that would make sense outside of her mind at the moment, she would have to tell him later when she was put back together again...when she had put him back together as well.

Her tears had only just begun, her words cut off by a blubbering wail as she leaned into him, her fists in his shirt loosening to lightly pound at his chest in frustration with herself. She buried her face in his shoulder and just cried it out while he stood stiffly with his back pressed against the counter from her weight being thrown into him so suddenly. He wasn't daring to move, she could tell, so she would have to move him....in due time. For now she just wanted to cry and inhale the smokey smell of him, getting second hand effects from his nicotine laced exhalations.

"Nami..." his voice almost startled her because it was so unexpected, and the touch of his hand in the center of her back was equally unexpected. Both were incredibly welcome, however. She gathered her courage and leaned back slightly to be able to look up at him.

"I'm so sorry. For what I said and for everything I've made you do since you got back! I can't believe how nasty I've been! I promise, I'll..."

Her words were cut short again, this time by his hand coming up to cover her mouth. He looked at her with a firm sort of expression, a quiet "shhhh" his only sound for quite a long while as he just seemed to study her closely. Boldly, she reached out her own hand to rest on his wrist and he removed the hand from her mouth, dropping it to his side as his eyes also lowered to stare at her shoulder to avoid her eyes.

"I forgive you. I'll always forgive you, no matter what, you know that." He said, and this time the tears and shaking made their presence known in his voice, making Nami's chest ache all over again.

"I know you will...you're just that way." She scoffed, but it wasn't in a bad way. Her voice was still unsteady and tight with the threat of more sobs breaking out.

"Luffy said something like that not long ago too..." Sanji seemed to be a bit dazed by his thoughts regarding her comment. "I guess you both meant it in a good way but I don't really get it."

"Good. Wouldn't want you getting too cocky about it." She teased, almost smiling for a second before she ducked her head and sighed, staring at his exposed collarbone from the stretched out neckline she'd caused. Absentmindedly, she placed a fingertip on the jut of bone and traced it gently, making the skin there twitch in response. It probably tickles, she mused silently. "Never change, okay?"

He swallowed hard, her eyes caught the movement of his Adam's apple and she knew his mind had finally been successfully distracted from his painful thoughts and had come to focus on the fact that they were so close and that she was touching him in a way she'd never done before.

"Okay." His reply was simple, and there was definitely a different sort of tightness in his voice this time. Not one of sadness being kept at bay, but something else entirely. "So....is my punishment over?"

"Consider your debt paid up." She assured him, stepping back to break whatever sort of spell was starting to fall over the both of them. He looked relieved but it took a good amount of time for his hand on her back to slide off, quickly occupied by the need to tap the ash from his long forgotten cigarette.

"Good. Because I need to sleep for a week to make up for all those night shifts and your crazy midnight cravings."

He glanced over his shoulder at the peels that were now a mess on the tray when he'd been so careful to place them so perfectly.

"Do you still want these? I'll make them for you, no problem."

"Sanji..."

"Hm?"

"Get some sleep."

Another order. His grin was back. "Of course, Nami-san."

#sanji x nami #post whole cake island #i hope I got this info right because I haven't actually gotten to the arc yet but I know a lot about it #Panja Writes #I just had this on my mind and had to get it out

15 notes · View notes