#i honestly don't know how I survived being barricade at that show

[pissditching]

☝️yes i can. essay under the cut

first of all, no member of dunes is going to read this but on the off chance your name is anthony green, tucker rule, frank iero, time payne, and/or travis steever: you wouldn't be here if you weren't looking for answers. i hope you find them.

ls dunes is (and i'm almost 99% sure they've described themselves as this) a frankenband, a band made up of the members of other bands that have been very successful over the years. thursday, coheed and cambria, circa survive, my chemical romance, it's an impressive lineup full of undeniably talented musicians considered scene veterans who's names invoke a kind of instant respect on the basis of them being one of the best and one of the first. they famously refuse to call themselves what they are: a supergroup. this on its own is not an issue. there's no morality to it, it's a completely neutral decision and i think they should get to call their band whatever they want. however i think the outright rejection of the supergroup label does three things. 1. it deludes a group of people who have been some level of famous since they were at the very oldest 24 into believing that they're still hardcore. 2. it deludes an audience made up primarily of 14-25 year olds who have never been to a punk show in somebody's basement that this is hardcore. 3. it provides a lot of context and hindsight for the issues to come.

past lives is a good album. not good as in just ok, good as in it does some really interesting things musically and there are parts of it that i genuinely love (permanent rebellion remains my favorite song from them, i don't care if it was their first release they chose a banger to showcase themselves). i wouldn't go as far as the band and call it post hardcore, but it sounds like it was made by people who know how to make post hardcore (which it was!). what i'm trying to say is that there's nothing wrong with dunes musically, and i think that contributes to more problems than solves them. as an album, past lives sounds masterfully produced and written by people who know music, who know the kind of music they love, and have been creating music they love since before most of their fans were born. this from a self admitted supergroup would be above and beyond what is expected of them. however from a supergroup that's trying to posit themselves as a grassroots hardcore band, it comes off as ever so slightly disingenuous and corny. their music feels like it was ai generated (don't worry, we're gonna get to that) to be liked by circa, coheed, thursday, and my chem fans and people are starting to resent them for it. i've seen some people say it comes off as them wearing a punk costume from spirit halloween. i'm not quite of that intense of an opinion, but i see why someone would be.

this next issue bridges into the one above it, you'll see. the crowds at dunes shows were the first thing to make me say "this good thing isn't going to last" way back when they had only played a few small shows sans their debut at riot fest. ls dunes crowds are small on purpose, besides festivals the venues they play are small and local and utterly unequipped to handle the volume and type of person who wants to go to a dunes show. for example, my best friend ethan and i decided we wanted to see dunes the day of the show on a whim. i had heard dunes crowds could get weird, but they were coming to a venue that hosts acts like slaughter beach dog, jeff rosenstock, alex g, musicians of that size and crowds of that intensity. nothing could have honestly prepared me for driving up to the venue to buy tickets and seeing people camped outside hoping to get barricade (which. why does dunes have barricades? at local shows???) for ls dunes. the same small local venue where we hopped in line 10 minutes before doors for other bands and got like second row. we both decided this was a bad omen and left. the next day the person we saw at the front of the line had a call out post about them and their friends for camping at every mcr/dunes show to get frank side barricade to the point of shitting in diapers and inventing an arbitrary numbering system to make sure them and their friends were always first and spending an exorbitant amount of money in the process. i've heard of people getting their dick sucked in the pit, pissing, leaving heaps of trash inside and outside with their campsites, crowd crushing on Specifically frank's side of the stage, shouting at the band between songs, etc. this, all of this, could be solved if ls dunes admitted that the venues they're choosing can't handle the band. they need to admit to themselves that they're five people from four of the biggest bands in their scene with three separate dedicated fanbases and one fanbase that would steamroll a city to be 10 feet away from frank iero. tldr; ls dunes crowds are notoriously awful and in order to cull that awfulness, they need to stop pretending to be a small hardcore band and play bigger venues, for their safety and the safety of the crowd.

the documentary. first of all, very #punk of ls dunes to partner with amazon prime to release this documentary but that's not even what i'm talking about here. what part are we on? 4? 5? i haven't watched since part one. how many ten minute clips of a documentary that could have been just one normal length documentary (that probably would have been looked back on fondly if they hadn't released it like this) are they going to release. did i mention said documentary is about going to a small studio in the desert for a week or two to produce TWO songs? dunes has a habit of really milking it when it comes to the stuff they produce. past lives, the docuseries, the recently released demos of their first album, it's too much for a band that hasn't even had their second album (or birthday). i think of it like a meal where the appetizers won't stop coming. the onslaught and repetition of appetizers is starting to wear on people who have been waiting for dinner for hours and i'm worried that by the time they drop the main course, people are going to be so tired and full of them that they're not even going to touch it.

oh baby here we go. the ai debacle that turned into an antisemitism debacle that turned into an ethics question. let me just say this right now, people would not be as mad as they are about the ai thing if they remembered these people are in their 40s and more mad about the antisemitism but going about it in a different way if they listened to jewish people. to sum up the ai thing because quite honestly i view the other part of this as a far more pressing issue, anthony green off a sleepy time cbd gummy saw a video by an ai video generator (not calling these people artists because they are not) with ~trippy visuals~, consulted the band, and decided to pay the guy probably thousands to type some words in a box to make a video for them. given the theft inherent to ai art, this is a move that should be criticized (before the infamous doubling down, anthony admitted to someone in the comment section of the teaser they posted that he should have looked more into the ethics of ai before commissioning the video, which tells me the band at large knows this). soon, the comments of the teaser for the old wounds music video were filled with two kinds of people: people who had been dunes fans before this and knew ai was bad news, and right wing tech bros spurring them on, congratulating them for owning their "lib" fanbase, and harassing the former group of people with transphobia, homophobia, and racism. despite the immediate wave of criticism for this, the band decided to double down and stick with the ai video. do i think ls dunes is contributing to the death of art by commissioning an ai video generator for a music? well, yes and no. no because i think these are admittedly uninformed 40+ year old men who were looking for trippy visuals, found them, and didn't think about what it means to give money to the ai industry. i think they still value human art deeply and i don't see any of them dipping their toes into the world of ai again. yes because i think giving any money to the ai generators, no matter how uninformed the purchase was, is still a blow to human artists. i'm going to paragraph break here to avoid a impenetrable wall of text, but we're still talking about the same thing.

and then came the comment section on the double-down. and then long time friend of frank iero and musician derek zanetti made a dumbass comment that read "i heard frank iero is a lizard person". and then frank iero responded "unfortunately not the kind in charge of the new world order but i can save you 15% or more on car insurance". and just like that, frank iero's honorary njb card was torn asunder. suddenly, he couldn't 🤷🏻‍♀️ ktf 🖤🙏 out of this one. frank iero had just said something antisemitic, and twitter was waiting outside to jump him for it. quite honestly, he deserved to have his ass handed to him over this, but the way swaths of non-jewish people went about handing him said ass i fear did more harm than good.

antisemitism is one of the oldest bigotries on the planet. it's ingrained into everything, especially conspiracy theories. the conspiracy being referenced here is that jewish people are all secretly lizard people that control everything via "the new world order". this conspiracy is regularly repackaged to leave out the part explicitly calling the lizard people jews, turning it into a dogwhistle and a covert way to spread antisemitism via naïve messengers. enter frank iero, someone i genuinely believe to be one of these naïve messengers. i don't think frank iero hates jews. you don't have to hate jews to say or do something antisemitic, the same way you don't have to hate a member of a certain race to say something racist, lthe same way you don't have to hate gay people to say something homophobic. and when twitter piled onto this person and called him antisemitic without explaining why, he reacted the way any middle aged white man would and made an ass of himself. the initial "get out of here with that shit" response followed by the second response of "i love jewish people and lizards and i don't understand why you guys are being so mean to me 🖤🖤🖤" (paraphrased, obviously) put him on my shitlist. big time. let's talk about reverse radicalization.

reverse radicalization happens when a person is yelled at for something instead of being told what they did wrong and why it's wrong. when we get yelled at, we look, consciously or subconsciously, for anyone telling us we did nothing wrong. for example, if you say something antisemitic and everyone is yelling at you and you don't really get why? like you looked it up and oh that conspiracy exists but how does that pertain to what you said? and the only people not yelling at you and saying you're right are your newly acquired right wing fans, it creates an environment where a person who's not radical can become radicalized very fast. i don't know if this happened to frank iero or not, but the lack of any follow up response/formal aknowledgement makes me feel uneasy. i wouldn't feel so uneasy if non jewish fans had listened to jewish fans who told people that calling him a nazi wasn't a good idea and was going to have the opposite of the intended effect.

to sum everything up, ls dunes is on its death bed. this band was made in a lab over the pandemic to make appealing music, get mildly annoying, and then self implode. we are currently in the late mildly annoying early self imploding phase. they are a fascinating case study of what happens when you appeal to a certain audience so hard they cannibalize you like a praying mantis eats her mate. i think they are also a snapshot into the future of the bands that litter tiktok with videos like "if you like the front bottoms and car seat headrest, listen to our new album!" who are themselves doomed to self implode. i wish all of them the best, but i suggest they jump ship before it sinks.



the phenomenon of ls dunes should be studied and i mean this

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-Something There

Warnings: Mentions of murder. Canon-typical violence.

Word Count: 2.5k

a/n: i am so beyond sorry that it has taken this long to get another chapter out. this doesn’t follow my post schedule that i had previously given, but hopefully this can be a good place holder till later this week. 

The Purest Things Masterlist

May 2008

Bookend: "It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent." -Madeleine Albright

"There's no way I'm doing that," you rebuttal, "Hotch? Tell them it's a ridiculous idea." He stays silent, but his mouth twitches slightly.

Oh, you son of a-

"Richards is a classic narcissist. The challenge of facing a tough, fearless, and intelligent woman will give him his high. Narcissists are drawn to goal-oriented women, women who are resilient, adaptable, yet decisive. Show him that you are a good listener, but don't praise him."

"Think of him like a wild animal," Spencer adds, "You don't feed zoo animals because they are unpredictable. Remember, narcissists have an extraordinary sense of self, and when you praise his ego, you enable his unstable and feeble mind. He doesn't hear praise; he hears how much better he is than you. If you don't feed the beast, he won't have the stamina to combat your confidence later."

"Once you disarm him, I'll come in and challenge his confidence," Hotch concludes. 

Could you have said that less attractively? That would have been more helpful.

Aaron cheekily smirks as if reading your mind but quickly looks away. You wish you didn't blush so fast-that you had some sense to keep your emotions to yourself. In a second, your cheeks are rosy, and you are convinced that everyone in the room can perceive your feelings as if you wrote them on little notes and passed them around.

You grunt and roll your eyes, "I hate all of you."

Derek snaps his fingers at you, "Lose the jacket."

"All men are pigs," you spit while removing your blazer, leaving you in a fitted tank top and your tight-legged jeans that hug your curves in all of the right places.

Derek wolf whistles at you, and you hurl your jacket at him.  Aaron lets his eyes slide up and down your body, his gaze lasting longer than it should. He swears that as you stride into the interrogation room, your hips swing a bit farther side to side than usual. It is the very action that radiates courage, a mind coupled perfectly with itself and the world around it, concentrated and solemn.

Typically, Hotch would divert the task of adulating a narcissist to Prentiss, but he knows if anyone can take command of someone's attention, it's you. How does he know? Because you captivate him far more often than he cares to admit, defying his very being with every interaction. You are a secret weapon that he wants to keep concealed until you can allow your talents to shine genuinely. Aaron knows that now is your moment. ++++ "What is it that I am being accused of? Fraud? Embezzling?" The sharp-dressed businessman questions; his gaze is straying further below your eyes than you care for.

Pig.

You throw a file down on the medal table, and it slides across, stopping right in front of the man, successfully redirecting his stare somewhere other than your chest.

"Try murder."

His eyes widen, "You're joking. Come on, where are the hidden cameras? I'm ready for you to yell candid camera now! I am Milton Richards, for god's sake!"

"I don't know!" You shrug your shoulders. "Why don't you explain this to me, Mr. Richards. I'm just as confused as you are. What reason could a successful, charming, handsome, wealthy business mogul like yourself possibly have to kill someone?"

"Oh please," Richards scoffs, "This isn't an interrogation. You've already pegged me as guilty."

"I don't agree, but you have the right to feel how you feel."

He purses his lips, leaning as far away from you as physically possible while handcuffed to the table.

"Milton, why did you try to escape a moving vehicle when my team apprehended you?"

"Just felt like it, I guess," he shrugs mockingly.

"So, something just randomly compelled you to flee the custody of a federal agent?"

Richards leers at you. You stand up and walk around the table, leaning down next to him, "I get it. I do. You're a suave, wealthy, and ruthless business tyrant. You have to cover your tracks-do what it takes to survive."

He raises his eyebrow, turning to face you, your faces mere inches from each other. I got you now.

"Trust me. I know probably better than anyone what it takes to maintain a position you fought your entire life for. I'm a woman; I had to claw my way into the F.B.I. Do you think it's easy being surrounded by a team filled with uncontrolled testosterone? Womanhood requires balls; I see you keep your balls in your pants, cool, cool. Mine are on my chest, up top. As you've so duly noticed."

His eyes flicker to the aforementioned area, and you restrain yourself from gagging.

"And you know what, Richards? I use them every day of my life. Because in my line of business, sometimes I have to take the backdoor to get things done. Why do I get the sense that you were the same way before you became Mr. Wolf of Wall Street? How else does a kid who grew up in the projects become a multi-millionaire mogul by 27?"

"We both know what the other is capable of. C'mon, let's show each other a bit of respect here. No games, let's be upfront with each other," you appeal. ++++ Aaron watches as you work the room like it is your stage. You play the part perfectly.  He admires your ability to absorb things and then responded rather than immediately react to douse firey circumstances rather than add to the flames.

Derek finds himself next to Aaron, smugly observing Aaron's visible fascination with you.

"She's fantastic, Hotch," Derek beams with pride. Hotch holds his breath behind pursed lips in an attempt to barricade himself from the feelings of foolish jealousy he feels creeping up.

I know she is. I think I recognize it a little too well.

Aaron knows that Derek will be scrutinizing his reaction to the commendation and refrains from responding.

Of course, Derek reads this lack of a reaction as a response itself. And he finds it strangely amusing. ++++ "Here's what I think happened," you twirl your finger around the manilla file, "I think you were having some money troubles and your top investors caught onto your little games. When you sat down, you volunteered the crimes fraud and embezzlement as reasons you assumed we brought you into custody. You listed them like they are apparent reasons for us to charge you. Those are two areas you are clearly willing to take the fall for and have cause to oblige by."

Opening the file, a photograph is revealed within of a murder victim. Richards shifts uncomfortably in his seat, stifling a cough.

"Do you know this man?"

"N-no," he claims as his eyes flutter from the photo to his hands.

Surprised by his blatant tell, you glance back at the two-way mirror.

Turning back to the suspect with a newfound spark in your eyes, you press harder, "Strike one. Try again."

"Excuse me?"

"The man in the image is Walter Barone, the C.E.O. of Jameson Whitely Associates...your accounting firm. Your company was going bankrupt, Milton. There was nowhere left for you to turn. So, do you want to try that again? This time, answer my questions directly and honestly."

"Walt had a reserve saved for me worth $5 million. Last week when I approached him about dipping into the fund to keep the company afloat, he withheld it. I wouldn't kill him for it, though."

"Well, see, that's the problem here, Milton. When he was found, that little reserve of yours was nowhere to be found. Naturally, you can assume where my mind goes when I try and put two and two together, right?"

"I told you," he says, clearly provoked by your accusation, "I wouldn't...didn't kill him."

"Wasn't it you, in your book, right? Who said, 'It's surprising what a man will do when properly motivated?' I don't know about you, but losing everything you'd ever worked for and having your one saving grace held from you seems like pretty good motivation."

Silence. "Oh, come on, Milton, now is not the time to act so arrogant!"

He slams his fists on the table; you abstain from being startled in an attempt to show him no fear.

Wild animals can smell fear. 

"Arrogant, huh? Why don't you step up and prove me wrong? Prove you're better than me. You despise me for being successful; I despise you for your assumption that you could waltz in here like a tramp and seduce me into giving myself up. What? Too harsh? I'm not sure you and I are even the same species."

Hotch bursts into the room, and you quickly signal for him to stand down. I've got this.

He gives you a prideful wink. I know you do.

Somehow Aaron being in the room gives you that last little push to conclude this grand performance of yours. Slowly, you begin clapping dramatically for his little one-person comedy act. He certainly knows how to play the fool.

"Is that a dare? Challenge accepted. Your entire life, you have suffered from a disease... a fragile ego. You have built these walls of detachment so that you can conveniently solicit status to hide your true, weak self. You lash out because you feel it compensates for your insecurities."  

"The truth is, despite being at the top of the corporate chain, every day you lead the life of a loser. You are willing to destroy people psychically, emotionally, and mentally. And you view that as a cause for celebration. You are the embodiment of a loser and abject failure."

Hotch touches the small of your back; you shiver at the sudden warmth that fills your body in reaction to it. He hands you a piece of paper, one that seals Richards' conviction.

"Milton Richards, you are under arrest for the murder of Walter Barone, Hank Simmons, Frankie Lisbon, and Jillian Ryder."

Hotch motions for you to do the honors.

"By all means, lead the way."

Holding yourself proud and tall, you waltz over to Milton and hoist him out of his chair. Inclining your lips to his ear, you tell him contemptuously, "You lose."   ++++ "Way to go, superstar! You had us all on the edge of our seats," Derek says, wrapping his muscular arms around you. You breathe in his cologne and savor the sensation of being in his arms.

Since the day you met Morgan, you've felt a draw to him. Not in a romantic way, though you proudly admit he is hands-down one of the most gorgeous men to set foot on earth. He gives you the feeling of safety, warmth, and brotherly love. His hugs rejuvenate you after a long day of work, and you see to it that neither of you leaves the office without receiving your signature embraces.

Aaron observes you and Derek's shared embrace from the shelter of his office. Before he can comprehend his movements, his legs carry him to the terrace overlooking the bullpen.

What do you think you're doing, Hotch? Pull yourself together. They’re friends. Just like you and her are.

Dismissing his inner voice of reason, he calls out to you, "Y/L/N. See me in my office."

You grimace at his tone of voice but abide by his request.

Derek chuckles, "Green is not that man's color."

"What?" You turn to him, confused.

"Goodnight, superstar."

"Night, handsome," you blow him a kiss, trying to brush his comment out of your mind.  ++++ "You summoned?"

Aaron's whiskey-colored eyes meet yours. The tempo of your heart quickens like a metronome.

"You did a phenomenal job in there."

"I've learned from the best." You. I've learned from you.

He clears his throat, "Those things you said...a-about the men on this team. Is that how you truly feel?"

Shocked by his willingness to believe such a misleading statement, you gasp and close the distance between the two of you.

You must have some nerve to believe that I would ever view you as anything other than the most upstanding man I've ever met.

"Aaron, what I said in there is further than the truth than I would have liked to have strayed. In fact, it was with you that I finally felt equal as a human being-like someone recognized me for my intellect and self-worth. A woman can't acquire that regardless of how 'equal' this world claims to be."

Aaron finds himself lost in your eyes, absorbing every meaning behind your words.

"It was a freeing feeling having someone I respect so highly show me similar respect."

No. Don't stop talking. Please. Hotch blushes at his inner monologue, incapable of comprehending precisely what kind of influence you hold on him.  

"Anyway," you laugh, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in your face, "Sorry for my little tangent."

"No," Hotch interjects firmly, "Never apologize for expressing your feelings. I assured you last year that I'll always be available as a sounding board for you. That offer still stands."

Your gaze softens as you study him, his intentions, his mannerisms. He notices your pupils dilate, and it commences a chain reaction within his veins. To him, it's not the fact that you radiate beauty on the outside. Sure, you are physically fit and put in the effort to maintain your appearance. Naturally, that would be why someone like Derek Morgan would have you on his radar.

But, Aaron has gradually grown accustomed to the kindness that you seem to reserve just for him. He sees the differences between how you act around the team versus when you step inside his office or are alone in the car with him, even the way your confidence elevates when he walks into the interrogation room.

These differences aren't unique to just you, though. Aaron notices the same changes in himself when he is around you. Never did he expect to go home from work and lie in bed thinking about the way your eyes strayed on his for a moment too long, or how as he completed paperwork at his desk, he'd replay in his mind a cheesy joke you told the team. He knows how you like your coffee from observing you in the break room one too many times.

One cream, two sugars.

Your laughter warms his body from the inside out. When you talk about your favorite comic book with Prentiss and Morgan, the twinkle in your eye never fails to bring a smile to his face. He knows that you hate getting out of the car when it rains because your perfectly straightened hair that you spent god knows how long on will undoubtedly curl.

His changes were less evident on the outside. But, he knew that deep down, there is something there that wasn't there before.

Tag List:

@chellybear98 @destiny-tsukino @wanniiieeee @sweetiecake180 @vampiracontessa @weexinling @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin @clairedragonessbaker @cecemariee7302 @halloweenwithreid @megans-txmblr @theoldestguard @purpledragonturtles @chazubagi @frogrrylovebot @agentaaronhotass @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssagube @enilledam @yougottalovefandoms @kenzies-mr-j @chazubagi @softhetixx @peachyotps @cat11-2 @prettylittlemoonlight @ravenmoore14 @gubs-boobs @spencerreidsoulmate @totalmess191 @yoshigguk @hopelesslylosttheway @britishspidey @timelesstay @averyhotchner @kyliesalvatore

[scarecoen]

Trigger warning ⚠️ domestic violence.

I've typed this story a million times so I'm just going to summarize as much as I can.

A few days ago I was assaulted by my partner's family members. And as I've mentioned, I've typed this a million times and I'm honestly just exhausted thinking about it, but we could use some help.

My partner has always had a transphobic family. (I don't have anyone but my dad, who's in no position to help anyone.)

Her mom used her disability against her and manipulated her into giving her MOST of her checks. She's abused the system and my girlfriend.

When I met Jackie, she was with a terrible biggot. Jackie had came out, and her mother conspired with an abusive long distance ex, to fly her here, to stage an "intervention" and stop my partner from transitioning.

It worked. For years.

I met Jackie here on tumblr, we became good, SECRET friends because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

I told Jackie openly about my views regarding gender and how I myself, was not cis.

Eventually she told her partner about us playing games together, which she responded to by harassing me.

Jackie ended up spilling the beans to me, about her mom, about the ex, everything. I realized that she had been extremely isolated and controlled her whole life.

So I intervened.

I got the two of them to separate, which wasn't smooth because Jackie was scared. She had been with her abuser for 9 years at this point. She's never known anything else.

The ex moved back to her state, and I started seeing Jackie, although she was stuck at her mom's... who was trying to play innocent at this time.

Eventually, I kinda just came and picked her up, she stayed the night, she didn't want to go back home. And I can't blame her. The house wasn't only disgusting, her family microagressed her all the time and they would tell her to pretty much stay in a dark room all day.

Ofc I didn't bring her back.

During early quarantine, we had a lot of self reflection and she started distancing herself from her mother, coming around to holding her accountable for her horrible actions.

Her mom messaged her things like "Why won't you talk to me? It's like you're trying to punish us!" Ect, just every fucking manipulative thing she could say, without ever apologizing.

Unfortunately the place we were staying fell through when my best friend's ex husband decided he wants a divorce and decided to throw in some transphobic hatespeach towards me.

We were all looking for somewhere to go.

I'm sure you know where this is going but listen, she told us EVERYTHING we wanted to hear. She told us she's not hateful now, told us she would go to trans support groups, pride, said she's realized how much she loves Jackie and it's time to accept her- and look- we had NO WHERE TO GO. We have 2 cats and at the time, a car that has no a/c or functional locks. AND I have a chronic autoimmune condition that I recently started taking chemo meds for. (Methotrexate.)

I'm too sick to be on the street, and survive. I had to think about me, Jackie, Zoe, and Boops.

And Jackie wanted to go..

I told her we'd be cautious and try to get out asap.

Well, looking for places right when the housing market crashed really fucked us up. That- and because I had only just finally got approved for disability, means I was set back in life- and had no credit to my name. No credit= no place to live.

I had almost built enough, but things went down hill very quickly with her family. Which leads us to right now:

After weeks of microagressions, giving us breakthrough covid cases, yelling at us to clean other's messes, and forcing us and our cats to isolate in our room, many broken promises, and straight up transphobic hatespeach (because she promised to get vaccinated but then said nvm as soon as we moved in and she went on vacation and got covid and gave it to us, which nearly killed me--) she said not getting the vaccine "IS A CHOICE, JUST LIKE YOU BEING TRANS AND TAKING *gestures to my testosterone* THOSE DRUGS."

We just were avoiding each other while I desperately try to gather resources for us to get out, NOW.

Of course, that wasn't good enough, so when her step father messaged her in all caps about our cats having to stay in our room and "I WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU AGAIN" my partner had a breakdown..

Her mom had let her step dad talk to her like this her whole life, basically.

Out of desperation, we went to her sister for help, maybe hoping she'd give us a place to stay for two weeks while we sign off on the lease for our new apartment.

She pretended to want to help and even said... something fucking weird? She made the comment that I'm a good person and I'm so much like her own boyfriend, that it's "scary"...

A few hours later she came to the house. She talked nicely to us, to gain access to our bedroom.

Then she attacked me.

I called the police right before, and was on the phone with dispatch when she lunged at me because she was aggressively trying to MAKE Jackie go into a separate room WITHOUT ME and Jackie was saying no, BEGGING her to STOP.

I wasn't going to let her take Jackie into that room. She looked fucking crazy.

All of the family came into our room, her two sisters, her mom, and her cousin- When they heard yelling.

It was actually me telling her mom that she's a terrible mother, that triggered her sister to try and attack me- although I knew she was planning on trying to from the moment she came into our room.

And that was after her mom was screaming in my face that if I have something to say, say it now.

Dispatch heard everything and sent emt as well...

But the police stayed outside, talking to them for a WHILE before even asking for us.

Her cousin is the only one that would have stood up for me, saying her sister never should have tried to hit me. But he was in the room with Jackie, giving her support...

I faced the cops alone.

He already had "that look."

He shined a light into my eye, letting the family stay on the porch, throwing insults and just letting it happen. He asked me where I'm hurt, and before I could even show him the scratches on my arm, he said "how do I know YOU didn't put those there?"

I wanted to fucking die in that moment.

This is a conservative city.

No one has equality stickers here. No one flies gay flags. People here that are lgbt- they LEAVE.

This is EXACTLY WHY.

I said "well is there any reason I should tell you anything when, clearly, you're already bias?"

I looked at the emts. I looked at his partner. I looked at all the lights and people coming out of their houses-

And behind me was her family.

Her sister that assaulted me, was laughing about having work in the morning.

All of them were looking at me, with hate in their eyes.

He tried to feed me bullshit about "well if I'm taking someone to jail, there has to be proof."

He dismissed everything I attempted to say, until I just stared at the ground and he decided he did his job here.

I told him my whole fucking body hurts because I had 4 people fucking toss my 100lbs ass all over the fucking room, which was a mess that he refused to look at.

He said "I don't see bruises."

I SPAT "BRUISES TAKE TIME?"

He retorted IMMEDIATELY- "YOU'RE NOT EVEN RED."

I asked what about the dispatcher- she seemed concerned- to which he said "you see, sometimes when people call us- they scream and be dramatic- for a quicker response."

I asked what we could do while the two weeks go by for our new place, and he fucking said "I DONT KNOW. BARRICADE YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING."

Needless to say, we are now safe, in a hotel and I've gotten in touch with a few lgbt organizations that are attempting to help us get justice.

Unfortunately because it's a holiday weekend, all we can do is wait right now.

Our first order of business is getting a protection order, so that we can retrieve the rest of our things without her sister trying to attack us again. (I say us because she kept jumping towards Jackie, like she was threatening to hit her.)

I've been so gaslit and victim blamed that I was too scared to go to the er, even though this all happened in the midst of a flare, possibly including my liver health.

There's so much more to this story, as I'm sure other trans people can relate.. unfortunately.

The emts reluctantly offered to take me to the er, but I was like "and leave my partner here with them?" And he just fucking shrugged dude.

I hate this city.

I want out so bad but unfortunately I've committed to a year, but at least it'll be *our* apartment.

We could NOT stay there for two more weeks. Her step dad is a violent offender that has attempted to murder a homeless prostitute over some fucking pocket change- and he has a GUN in the house.

This hotel might run us into a hole, despite it being the cheapest, shittiest hotel in town, it's still going to be about 700$ for ONE week.

To ADD INSULT TO INJURY, SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL MY VEHICLE WHILE WE'VE BEEN STAYING HERE.

I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and unsafe, but I'm on anxiety meds now at least and its SORTA helping us cope (My partner and I have the same Dr and she gave her permission to have some.)

The organization BRAVO is trying to help us with a hotel voucher, but because of all the natural disasters, it's hard to find room in charity for people like us, which is fair enough. We aren't immediately on the street, and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

However, if you or anyone you know wish to help you can donate to venmo: kittyzibby. Or you could just signal boost this.

If you can't help, I understand. And IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY, don't worry about it, for real.

Right now I'm just scared we'll go into debt before getting the apartment settled in.

I will update on things once our case moves along more, and we were already considering turning to OF sexwork before all of this, so if there could be support that way, maybe we'll get that going once we get moved in. That way, I feel good about providing a service in return.

Thank you so much for sticking with us during all of this. And really- we're doing much better today. We've given each other pep talks, but we are still determined to start our lives together.

Her family was merely trying to scare me away from her, but I got my girl's name tatted on me for a reason.

I know I'm not the bad person here.

Every time Jackie is feeling more gender euphoric, and showing me her changes, and seeing her get more confident, the more I know that what I'm doing with and for her, is right.

I love her so much. And I will never abandon her, like they tried to get me to do.

Jackie is taking a break from some socials, but she's given me permission to talk about what's been happening.

She needs justice too.

I will update as much as I can, but seriously, I think we both just have a fire under our asses now.

Mentally, we're stronger than ever.

Thank you for reading. My heart really goes out to the rest of the queer community that have experienced or are going through similar things.

It's really made me realize why we need to stick together and fight this bigotry bullshit! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[kitkatopinions]

To be fair heroes overcoming great odds isn't unheard of and I don't expect Salem to literally win outright and end the show this volume (now THAT would be unexpected). However, that doesn't mean they can build up Salem like this and then have her fail while causing minimal no name casualties. I really wanted her to kill off at least 1/4 of the named cast. That would show the survivors though she might have been defeated, there were serious consequences to their screw ups and Salem is dangerous.

I absolutely agree with this.

Let’s look at the Fall of Beacon as an example of how the heroes overcame great odds and the bad guys didn’t win outright, but there were still plenty of casualties, the losses were significant, and the main characters had things they needed to learn from. Not only were the main cast dealing with hordes of Grimm and all the villains that have been established so far at once, the city was also overrun with Grimm, the White Fang was attacking, and the Atlas robots that were meant to protect everyone got hacked and turned against people, and then a massive and clearly very powerful Grimm got released as well, while Cinder claimed the second half of the Fall Maiden powers. These were massively hard to beat odds. And funnily enough, many of the problems got taken out without much victory from the main characters. Roman was eaten by a bird and the crashing ship cut off the signal to the Atlas robots, Blake was running from Adam and he just didn’t chase her, Cinder and the dragon Grimm were both taken out by Ruby discovering her silver eyes, which were a suddenly introduced magic power.

There are two things that made the Fall of Beacon still much more significant than the battle at Atlas. Number one is effort. Everyone was desperate and scrambling to help, everyone was seen fighting off Grimm and the Atlas robots throughout the whole of the Fall, everyone ended the battle exhausted or wounded. The only people who were making quips were the longtime hunters and inner circle members who had seen all kinds of battle before like Qrow, and only in moments of temporary reprieve. Before Roman got swallowed by a bird, Ruby had spent time fighting him and Neo in an effort to stop him from shooting down other ships. It doesn’t feel like she did nothing to earn a victory, because she was distracting Roman and trying to save people and clearly was fighting as hard as she could. Roman even being out of the cockpit in order to be eaten was a direct result of Ruby’s actions. Blake escaping didn’t feel like Adam just let her go without a fight because they did have a fight, Blake put in a lot of work for it. When Blake ran away and Adam didn’t go after her, it didn’t feel like Blake did nothing to earn it because she fought him for a time despite her trauma, pushed down the pain of her injury, and used cleverness to get some distance between them. The second thing that made the Fall of Beacon still feel more significant than Atlas was loss. They were in a situation where it was impossible to save everything and everyone, and the writing reflected that. Ironwood lost a lot of resources, the school had to shut down, there was a ton of property damage, but those are all smaller stakes. What really hit was the injuries and the deaths. Penny’s death started the whole thing, and whether or not she’s back now, she literally was dismembered on screen, leading the audience to be shocked, emotional, sad, and to know this is serious. In the fight against Adam, Yang lost her arm, which was something that her character dealt with the fallout of for the next three seasons. Roman was a villain, but Roman died as a causality to the Grimm despite being on Cinder’s side, which proved just how dangerous the Grimm were to everyone and that no character was safe. We didn’t see many civilians die, but it was obvious that they had to have died.

And then there was Cinder and the dragon Grimm. Ruby triggered her silver eyes for the first time accidentally and took out Cinder and the dragon Grimm at once without even meaning to or fighting Cinder at all. But it still felt earned and significant. Partly because Ruby didn’t know she could do this, so it wasn’t a ‘why didn’t you just use this earlier?’ moment, it wasn’t a ‘so you’ve been sitting on this power for what reason?’ moment. Partly because it came at a cost and directly after the loss of Pyrrha, another emotional loss for both the characters and the fanbase - and a main character. When I was watching this scene, I wasn’t worried about small details because a main character had just had an on-screen death! And Ruby’s emotional reaction, freezing for a second and then screaming Pyrrha’s name was impactful. The cost of Ruby acquiring this new sudden power was Pyrrha’s death, so it didn’t feel unearned for Ruby to use it. And then it clearly took a lot of her, the consequence of acquiring her power was passing out for at least days, likely weeks. The other reason why this scene in particular didn’t feel like a deus ex machina was because it didn’t solve the problems before they could start. They already lost Penny, they already lost Pyrrha, they already lost Ozpin, Yang already lost her arm, Blake already had her trauma reignited and felt like she had to run, the city had already been over-run, civilians had died, the school had already fallen. Ruby’s silver eyes stopped Cinder from continuing and stopped the largest and most dangerous Grimm in its tracks, but it wasn’t a fix. They triumphed, technically. They had stopped Cinder for the moment, taken out the largest Grimm, saved a lot of people, stopped the Atlas robots... But there was still massive cost.

Of course, it doesn’t have to even be that big. Although I’d have preferred it, the kingdom doesn’t have to fall, the school doesn’t have to go down, no main characters need to die. I can’t think of a good example in RWBY, but let’s talk about a part in the Lord of the Rings movies, Helms Deep. The people of Rohan holed up in a fortress to try and outlast the armies of orcs attacking them, but they had already lost a strong number of (nameless, characterless) fighters. So they started pulling mostly nameless and characterless children and elderly men from the civilians to fight to save their people (yes, it’s incredibly stupid that there were able bodied adult women literally asking to fight that aren’t allowed, but we’re not talking about that.) Our hero, Aragorn got in a fight with Legolas where they made it very clear that they both knew that all of these kids and elderly people would die and that if they fought, they’d likely die too. A group of elves came to join in their desperate last stand, and during the large fight, a side character elf from the last movie died brutally, on screen, while Aragorn yelled and fought to try to get to him and held him in his arms as he passed away. Later on, we saw very few live soldiers trying to barricade what seemed to be the last door between the Orcs and the civilians hiding in the caves. The king, Théoden, seemed to have lost all hope, but Aragorn talked him into trying to make one last stand to give the civilians a chance to escape and Theoden clearly thought they were riding to their deaths. Gandalf arrived conveniently just in time with an army of more Rohan soldiers (previously exiled) and turned the tide of the battle. The people of Rohan survived, Rohan itself survived and could start recovering, none of the (very capable of fighting) women or children younger than seemingly thirteen were lost, none of our main characters died or even seemed to obtain severe injuries, and not too long after that, Rohan threw a party. The only named character we know we lost was a side character who we didn’t have a lot of time to get attached to. But this still seemed like a well earned and hard fought victory, where the stakes had been incredibly high.

The Battle at Atlas is completely empty. We didn’t lose anyone other than Hazel, who was killed by his own boss (iirc.) Three of our four main protagonists spent episodes sitting around doing nothing. JRY interjected quips and fun times into even serious moments (like Oscar being kidnapped by the Hound.) The only losses we received were nameless and characterless soldiers that the writing clearly doesn’t want us to really feel for. Ruby’s silver eyes haven’t come at a cost for seasons and have just been an easy way to get rid of Grimm before they can do much damage, which is exactly what happens with the Hound. Ironwood, a villain, is the one who keeps Salem back for episodes, and then Oz just pulls a sudden power out of nowhere to get rid of the whale and temporarily remove Salem from the picture with very little effort and zero consequences. No civilians die, no main characters die, everyone is fine, only Nora is even injured and she still seems mostly fine and like she’s already well on her way to recovery. It’s so disappointing, really. They gave us endless stakes and then had next to nothing come of it. I honestly don’t know if their writing could get any sloppier.