#i held several at gunpoint to make this happen

[ryssbelle]

Asked the folks in trolls server what their characters race and class would be if they were in DnD and here are the results! I designed most of them except Navy who was designed by his creator!

I wonder what adventures they will go on?

Featured OC's and their owners in order from left to right:

Pete Moonshine @melonmass-art

Smiggles @navy-scribble @ivory-rose-art and me teehee

Sprinkle @creta291

Patty @felsicveins

Lief me!

Navy @navy-scribble

Cerulean @secret-citrus

Pigeon @folktroll

close ups of each character are under the cut!

Pete Moonshine, Weretouched humanoid Ranger, not a fan of the full moon

Smiggles the Tiefling Fighter, Chaotic is his only alignment

Sprinkle the Tiefling Sorcerer, hot pink bitch named BREAKFAST

Patty THE PAIN the Half Giant Barbarian who brings the PAIN

Lief the (half) Elf Cleric, just a little guy (or is he?)

Navy the humanoid shifter Rogue, human by day, part animal whenever (emo forever)

Cerulean the half-elf Monk, keeps a level head and knows when not to hold back

Pigeon the Kenku Ranger, all bird and all cowboy

[lazlolullaby]

"Nurse" Terry AU

i mean a reboot of Terry Mcginnis being a home medical assistant for elder care.

Not the grimdark cop out twist, "lol Bruce was Crazy the whole time, the doctors were his rogues gallery" but. Mundane elder care for the man who fought too hard for this city to even consider he would live to old age. + Bonus medical support for the future Batfamily.

TL:Dr Terry as Alfred's successor. Caring of people that have made/continually make dangerous choices, dry wit, checkered past, willing to kill, etc. He just needs time to grow into it.

More details under the cut, accidentally evolved into a not fic:

Bruce already has a partial caretaker in Alfred, and he's not going to live forever, despite all of the fandom jokes otherwise.

I'm thinking Bruce is 70, so Dick and Barbara would be 50s, Jason and Cass 45, Tim, Duke, and Stephanie 40s, and Damian is 35. Titus was replaced with a few other service dogs before Ace.

Maybe it's like Batman Beyond where Bruce drove everyone away. Maybe the Golden Age of Heroes wound down, with his contemporaries either dying or leaving him alone to stand vigil.

Maybe it's not. When his kids are grown with their lives and vigilantes or not, they can't be there 24/7 for Bruce.

I prefer the Batfamily is around, just that they have their own lives. Someone is always in the Manor in the mornings, but when Vigilante things happen, someone has to be home to make sure Bruce doesn't go out as well.

Bruce, thanks to his vigilante history, has heart issues, bone and joint issues, canon Childhood PTSD compounding with complex Vigilante PTSD, and bad reactions to drugs and medications thanks to all of the Chemical Attacks.

Bruce is still good at his ADLs (Activities of Daily Life). Things like walking without assistance, eating, showering, putting on clothes, and going to the bathroom.

He's gotten denture implants and is doing physical therapy enough to walk with a cane. He can't open jars, but he can still zip and button.

He's retired but still runs the Cave. He's mostly fine, but sometimes the Bats see him struggle. Someone finds him at the bottom of the stairs, unable to get up and refusing to say when he fell. Dick puts his foot down when Bruce has a heart attack.

The batfamily makes up a rotation sheet, but it's not enough. Vigilante first aid is different from elderly medical aid. Not to mention the mental and emotional toll that it's taking, seeing their parent/leader disabled and crabby as hell.

(also. Untrained family members who care for Alzheimer's patients by themselves have a severe risk of cutting their life short due to stress. Use the insurance. Get help.)

So they get Bruce a fully trained nurse assistant to check in every other day for the midmorning and a first aid assistant for the night time. And they'll keep rotation at "vigilante time" 9-9. It's flexible, he doesn't need them all of the time.

So about Terry. Despite everything, it's still Gotham. His family was held up at gunpoint after a trip to the movies. The gun does go off.

But it's also a Gotham with several active vigilantes.

The response was quick enough that only Warren was hit, and the gun was knocked on the ground fast enough so Mary was physically fine. They get taken to the hospital. Mary might remember which vigilante. Terry might need to see pictures.

Warren's insurance plan with Wayne-Powers is pretty great, he's off on disability for a few months. And Mary is pregnant, so as she was progressing she can't lift or help with heavy things. Terry tries to help. He's getting well versed in getting snacks, waters, basic house chores done, but he's only 8. There's no grandparents or extended family to call.

So they apply for help. The insurance sends a home medical assistant to come around a few days a week. And Terry sees how much it helps. How much of a burden that it lifts, how everyone in the house can breathe a little easier. That sticks with him.

When the insurance runs out and they still need help, Mary calls the support card that the Vigilantes gave her. They get a second volunteer (maybe a cousin of his highschool group? Chelsea or Dana?) that also helps.

The worst is over, Warren is safely back to work + working from home to help out, Mary is fully recovered, and baby Matt is perfectly healthy.

And Terry is restless. Energy spent worrying about his family and taking care of them is churning in him. He's lost some time with his friends and is feeling isolated.

The cracks become apparent in the parents marriage, it gets tense at home.

The second volunteer comes around sometimes to babysit him and Matt while Mary and Warren are "working their relationship out". They tell him about the community center that sets people up with job training and temp healthcare jobs like this. Activities for the neighborhood kids after school.

Luckily and unluckily, that's where Terry gets recruited into the Red Hood gang.

Jason isn't really using kids for gang things. Well. Keeping them as look outs, making them deliver care packages to the homeless/protected witnesses, maybe ferrying a little naloxone here and there to his addiction rehab centers. They know what they're doing is illegal, but it also helps the community. Terry is pretty content with that most of the time. Most of the time.

And then Charlie had to get it in his head he's going "Big Time", riles Terry up, and make them go off plan.

Terry and Charlie get caught, they get booked in Juvenile hall. They don't say anything, don't reveal about Red Hood's movements. (Not that Jason would tell any kids anything like that.)

Terry got out, his parents officially split, he went with his Dad, his Mom took his younger brother. Now that he doesn’t have Matt, he can’t go back to his gang friends, his parents don’t trust him, people are hesitant to trust him, he’s getting frustrated again.

The Bats are also...more focused on the Gotham villainy side of things, not the company. Dick never got a business degree so he can't really do anything, not that he was interested, Jason is dead + his civilian alias is handling Crime Ally, Tim is burnt out of CEO duties and recovering in R&D, and Damian tried, but he was frustrated in following his father's footsteps, so that was stopped.

Derek Powers is still a thing but not all "glowy". Warren brought up the weapons file + discrepancy to Tim, so Terry's dad is safe (for now).

So Jason sees this kid who wants to help but just needs to be mentored and his act cleaned up. And Bruce, who's a little bit listless and needs a project that won't be too taxing.

So the Batfamily talks and throws them together.

BUT ALSO - fun storylines:

Derek Powers tries to kill Bruce through his medical assistants. He's a manipulator, also trying to get Terry for cheap, but Terry isn't biting. Terry checking the medicine before giving it to Bruce and finding it wasn't the usual. (Bruce knew, but he also wanted to make sure no one was slacking.) IDK if the day nurse/pharmacy tech got turned by Powers but Terry was planned to take the fall.

Bruce subtly training him in stealth tactics and strategy. The rest of the Batfamily getting in on it too.

Terry was able to clock that "Father Peterson", a pillar of the Crime Alley Community, was a civilian alias of Red Hood. (Peterson checked in on him in juvie. His foot stance is similar to Red Hood, the cadence when he's talking with his goons slips, their morals don't directly align but do intersect, people thought they were grudging allies, but if they're the same person it tracks.) Terry does further digging and connects the deceased Jason Todd-Wayne's old photos to Peterson, but realizes, "oh. There's reasons why he doesn't involve his rich family", and decides not to bring it up.

Maybe finding an actual CEO replacement for Wayne-Powers? Stephanie could pull a Cinderella rags to riches story. Or have the Fox family come back? Tam or Luke?

Terry following Bruce down to the Batcave a couple months in. "Sure. A nerd Collection." But not actually believing that it's the Batfamily base until he sees the collection of suits. When the family shows up after patrol he just shrugs, "you told me stick by him."

[curliiwurlii]

Amanda the Adventurer 3 theories!!

Okay, so this is just me guessing what's gonna happen in the third ATA game based on the stuff we got in ATA 2.

First off: where will the third game take place?

At the end of the true ending, Riley goes down a hatch which leads deeper into the library (idk why a library would need that). My prediction is that whatever place we find ourselves in, it's gonna be more focused on Hameln. I've seen theories that where we're going will lead to something related to Hameln's cult and the rituals and stuff like that. It might be an escape hatch, or it might lead to something else. I think that we might be going to where Kate and her group were talking about the tapes-maybe something like a detective-like area with a billboard with different photos and stuff like that.

Next theory: What will the tapes be about?

To get the true ending, you can't help Amanda and Wooly take down the possum and when that happens, they get REALLY pissed at you. Amanda even says "Why didn't you help us? I TRUSTED you!" which probably means that we've lost both of their trust. When we put in the tape we took with us in whatever TV we can find at where we'll be, Amanda and Wooly will definitely NOT be happy to see us- they'll probably be like "Oh, it's you." in hateful tone or something like that. They'll probably be WAY more impatient at us than before. I think that we'll probably have to try and gain their trust back, maybe by getting things for them, connecting with them in some sort of way, etc.

Next theory: Who on EARTH is Wooly?

This damn sheep has me in a chokehold with the very little amount of lore we get from him specifically. So far, we've gotten some flash frames from him when we type in "horror" in the story tape, and it seems to be a reference to the butcher- with all of the meat imagery. A lot of people think he's Sam, another kid we don't know, an Ai program, a literal sheep who gained sentience, etc. I, for one, think that he's a Hameln employee who was transported to the cartoon world in the same way Rebecca was to monitor her and keep her on track. Think about it. He tries to keep Amanda on track with the show, he tries to make the show seem like a normal kids cartoon and-the most notable- the tapes he's present is has the Hameln logo appear at the end. However, I will say that even though Wooly might most likely be a Hameln employee, he's still suffering like Amanda. For example, as I mentioned, when we type in "horror" in the story tape when Wooly asks us what our favorite kind of story is, we get several flashes of meat which might be flashes of Wooly's trauma and at the end, he starts hyperventilating. I feel like maybe he was a Hameln employee but messed up real bad at one point and as punishment, Hameln gave him the same treatment as Amanda-have him suffer in the tapes. Another thing worth noting is that there's a secret tape in ATA 1 in the files which features Wooly sitting in a room. We see this same room again in the announcement video for the second game, where it seems like he's being held captive, with a chicken holding him at gunpoint and him at the end begging for him to be let go to someone. I think that he's being used to monitor Amanda while also being tortured in some way- it might be like Hameln saying "This is your punishment, but you can still be useful to us" or smth like that. To sum it up, I think he's a Hameln employee who screwed up and as punishment, he got transported to the cartoon world to monitor Rebecca to be useful to Hameln while also suffering with his own problems.

That's it for my bigger theories! Now onto my smaller ones...

First off: the door symbolism. Whenever we see the door (which is probably the portal to the cartoon world like we see in the meat ending in the first game) in Amanda's POV, the entrance is a deep red which might symbolize her thinking of the cartoon world as hell. However, when we see the door from Wooly's POV, the entrance is white; maybe he sees it as heaven, or purgatory, or what it actually is- the portal to the cartoon world? It makes sense because Amanda has the mind of a child, so she wouldn't see the door as what it is, but something much worse and Wooly, who most likely has an older mind, would see it for what it is.

Well, that's it for my theories so far! I'll most likely make more of these posts.

[brick-by-dumbass-brick]

My own personal predictions for Acrane’s season 2 because I cannot contain the insanity in my head about it

1. Ella Purnell (voice of Jinx) said this would be a very devastating season, and we now know it’s the last one from Vi/Jinx’s storyline, but we also were told that it would stay loyal to LoL lore. So I think we can say it’s safe to assume that Jinx will not die.

2. This one’s long but from the trailer, we saw that Jinx had a sort of mural painted of her on a wall, with several people standing behind her with blue hair painted on their heads as well. Jinx is holding a flag over her head, which I’m believing is a symbol of revolution of some kind. I believe that after what happened with Silco and after she found out about him lying to her, she thought about how Sevika told her the truth about Caitlyn and Vi and maybe believed that Sevika was someone to trust rather than go hate. I’m thinking that means Jinx and Sevika teamed up (as we saw Sevika’s new arm was built by Jinx) and her and Sevika became the two running the show down in Zaun, and people heard about Jinx blowing the council up and praised her for it, thinking Jinx was starting a revolution and trying to show Piltover that Zaun deserves to be independent.

3. I heard people saying that someone on the Arcane team (maybe an actor or writer) said that there was going to be a scene that shippers will LOVE, and another scene that shippers will hate, so this makes me think that Vi and Caitlyn will get together for real at some point (maybe a kiss or sex scene since one of the writers mentioned there would be more of that this season lol) and then eventually something (or someONE, aka Jinx) will yank them apart again. I believe that they won’t stay together by the end of the show. It hurts me to say it, but based on the trailer, I just don’t think they’ll stay together.

4. Straight up, I think Mel died. In the trailer Ambessa is telling Caitlyn “you will have justice” (assuming Cassandra died too) Ambessa is shown to be controlling the Noxus soldiers, making me think that Mel isn’t there (or alive) to stop her. Otherwise I don’t think she’d let Ambessa go through with waging a war on Zaun.

5. We see Singed in the trailer being held at gunpoint by some Enforcers. Makes me think that someone (possibly Jayce?) will end up doing the same thing to Viktor for messing with the Hexcore. I don’t think Jayce and Viktor will see eye-to-eye on this. I’m thinking the cloaked figure we see standing in front of Viktor for that split second in the trailer might have been Jayce.

6. Ekko and Heimerdinger. They were shown talking to each other at the end of S1. I’m willing to bet Heimerdinger joined in with the Firelights to help try and keep peace in Zaun. I don’t think Ekko will join forces with Jinx, but I also don’t think he’ll be happy to see Vi as an Enforcer. So I’m thinking the Firelights will act as a middle ground if that makes sense. I feel like they won’t try and stop the Enforcers from finding Jinx, but they will keep the Enforcers from recklessly attacking Zaunites.

7. Seeing that I believe Jinx won’t die, it makes me think of how it will all end. We see that Vi and Jinx have a huge fight at the end. I’m thinking Vi became an Enforcer (possibly the sheriff?) to keep the peace during the hunt for Jinx. I’m predicting they have a huge fight and Vi realizes she still can’t bring herself to kill her own sister (just like Ekko stopped punching Jinx on the bridge in S1 Ep 7) and ends up letting her go and they have some unspoken agreement that they’ll leave each other’s city alone. Or something along those lines.

Those are all the theories I have for now. I’m sure they’ll drop another trailer for S2 sometime around September like they did for S1, and I’ll probably share some more of my theories after that. Please share your own theories about S2, I’m super excited to watch and I love hearing what other ppl are predicting based on small details they notice or just by adding up different things, it’s super fun.

[daifukumochiin]

Summary: Sasuke's orderly life at elite Sairiumu Academy is disrupted by the arrival of Hinata, a timid transfer student whose obvious crush on him, a young man dedicated to his craft and his current relationship, stirs unease. (Initial SasuSaku with SasuHina endgame, modern Norse myth AU, high school, angst, romance, photography, postmodern-ish fic). Rated T

Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. NKJV — Revelation 2:4

LIGHTS,

BOWS, and

MISTLETOES

an entry for SasuHina Month 2024, Day 27 : Forget and Remember

(for @peachy-hina, since December) @sasu-hina

ffnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14369143/1/Lights-Bows-and-Mistletoes

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57030778

Part 1: Lights go to Chapter List>

I heard a voice, that cried, "Balder the Beautiful Is dead, is dead!" And through the misty air Passed like the mournful cry Of sunward sailing cranes. 

—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Tegner’s Drapa

i

What does one make of stalkers? Female ones.

Sasuke stood close to five foot eleven, fairly active and athletic, with a lean, muscled build typical of a teenager who cared for his health and traveled frequently for photography. Not quite pugilist material, but capable of defending himself if necessary. With his quick wit and a taekwondo brown belt, he was well-prepared for self-defense—should, as previously mentioned, the situation call for it.

Sairiumu Academy lay reposed among lush, well-preserved forests at the base of a prominent mountain carved with the visages of heroes past. At one glance, it seemed a serene and fortified paradise for the children of the elite and sickeningly wealthy. But there loomed a sense of threat in its seemingly endless marbled corridors for Sasuke that particular busy noon when she came: the new transfer student, Hinata Hyuuga. The crown of her head couldn't even reach his neck; she showed no vile display of possession of arms or rambunctious attitude; she couldn't seem to stop twiddling her thumbs, and judging from her body language, didn't feel confident enough in herself to speak way out of a difficult situation. And yet, she dared strike him up with a greeting, asked him for general guidance about the photography club’s applications, and timidly signed her name on the form.

It didn't escape Sasuke how she stole glances at him. With only the reception table between them, she must've imagined he kept looking at her because he was checking her out. A sense of dread came over him, and he looked away. He had taken on the reception duties and sent the other photography club members on a lunch break. To Hinata Hyuuga, who has an apparent crush on him, it was the perfect opportunity to engage him in small talk and get familiar. But he would not let her have it.

As though held at gunpoint, he glanced to the right and then to the left, checking out the hallway while she continued filling out the form in small, neat handwriting. His heartbeat quickened, each thump echoing in his ears, a drumbeat of unease. At a corner several blocks away, the Japanese classic painting club was bustling and this brought Sasuke a sense of shallow relief. Should anything happen, they could be his neighborly witnesses.

“Orientation on the 7th,” he said, handing her an envelope with pamphlets and orientation details inside. His voice was kept monotonous like the hum of a fan, his face blank and stone cold, though he maintained eye contact because he wasn't one to cower in the face of intimidation.

With a deer caught in headlights impression, Hinata Hyuuga's eyes caught the light in an almost prismatic quality. They were like amethysts, clear with streaks of light jumping through a million tiny mirror surfaces, shooting back at him with the rush of a bullet train. It was uncanny and inhuman, sending jolts along his spine. She made the hairs on his forearms rise in goose flesh.

“O-okay…” she replied. And then not another word.

As she walked away, he noticed a faint scent of rain in the air, a memory of an evening on Hashirama’s bridge flashing briefly in his mind, her crazy eyes wide with recognition as she gripped his sleeve. This was not the first time he’d seen her. Her transfer to Sairiumu and even ending up in the same class as him—they weren't mere coincidences, Sasuke was certain. She had come after him.

She disappeared down the hallway after taking a turn, and a sense of foreboding still lingered. An unsettling heaviness whirred in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't quite shake. go to Chapter List>

[antisemitism-eu]

There is a fiction that is believed by many people in the West, even those that support Israel - that Palestinians are nice good people that just want to live like normal nice good people, but they're being forced by Hamas at gunpoint to be evil and murder Jews.

This is a development from the pre-October 7th fiction that Palestinians really only care about their families and building a nice normal society. In fact, this is pre-October 7th fiction held by most of the Netanyahu government, and it is still held today by some of the IDF brass. If only. If only we would give the Palestinians money to build their land - they'll actually care more about their families than about killing us. And I really wish for it to be true. But that doesn't make it true. Just like most Germans in the 1930s and the 1940s were not forced to hate Jews. The truth is that Palestinians have several things going against them, and it really takes exceptional people to see past those.

Centuries of cultural and religious hate of Jews

Being used as a weapon against Israel - first by the Arab countries, supported by the international organizations, then by the antisemitic West.

This process intensified once they were given their own state - PLO terrorists were imported into Israel and given weapons and money. Most Israelis continued to believe that this is the only way to peace and quiet. But, of course, it blew up (literally) in the face of Israelis again, and again, and again. October 7th was not the first time that Palestinians massacred Jews. But it was the first time that this happened on such a massive scale, and the victims were not somebody you could blame for it (unless you were a antisemite) - that it caused most Israelis to wake up.

For all those reasons - This is why, on October 7th, the Palestinians celebrated. This is why on October 7th, hundreds of nice, normal people from Gaza did what nice normal people do everywhere and RAN TO KILL and RAPE and TORTURE JEWS Like many here, the minute they could, they ran to steal every thing they could from the Jews - including body parts - to show that they have SELF RESPECT, and they will not let those damn Jews live in peace and quiet until they are wiped off the face of the earth. Palestinian society must be de-Nazified.

Literally. Would this happen? I fear not, because of the worldwide support by anti-Zionists.

The work on denying and explaining away October 7th started even as the celebrations were taking place. I realize that this doesn't fit into your worldview. It's much easier to attack the "racist" person who points this out, rather than people who read Hitler's book and hope for the day they themselves can finish what he began It's much easier to obsess for days against an American you don't like, for doing a Nazi salute, rather than face the fact that this is the belief and creed of all anti-Zionists (and, of course, always mention that it's okay to criticize Israel, because we do that for all Nazis) But facing up to the facts is the only way forward. Israelis can't live on fiction. And when it blows up the face of American Jews - neither will they.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Anne if you could write and direct an episode of 911ls, what would you put in it? Let's say for season 5

Ok, so it would have AT LEAST as much Tarlos content as 3x13, maybe more. Since this is my episode to write and direct, let’s go with more. It would be the culmination of an arc about Carlos solving his father’s murder. TK would have a hand in helping Carlos solve the case, but it would end up putting TK in danger somehow. (I’m not necessarily saying he’d be held at gunpoint, but I’m not not saying that!) Anyway, there would be danger that would either land TK in the hospital or would land Carlos in the hospital as he was in the process of protecting TK. (Of course, they would both be fine by the next episode.) Despite the danger, Carlos would figure out who murdered his father and feel that he helped bring them to justice. Carlos would of course still be grieving his father, but after everything, he would end up feeling more at peace about what had happened, better about his relationship with his father, and mostly incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful husband. TK would be a little frantic with worry over Carlos at times, but by the end of the episode, he too would feel overwhelmingly grateful to be married to his soulmate.

The episode would also include a 126 Tarloft hang, an appearance by Lou II, and a scene of TK getting advice from either Tommy or Judd…maybe both. There would be some kind of exciting call with both TK and Carlos on the scene that would end up tying in with Gabriel’s murderer in some way. TK and Carlos would work together in at least some small capacity on the call as well and maybe there would be some flirty banter when it was over? That’s kind of a lot of tonal shifts, but I think Ronen and Rafa could make it work.

The B story of the episode would be some kind of 126 firehouse shenanigans that would link up in some way with what happened during the Tarloft hang. This would be lighter in tone to help balance the heavier murder solving/danger causing Tarlos part of the episode.

Despite the heavier nature of the Tarlos storyline, the episode would start with TK and Carlos waking up in bed together and the scene would be ADORABLE. And the episode would end with a beautiful Tarlos scene to rival the soulmates scene that would be several minutes long.

[forensicated]

[Off the top of my head, this is the 7th time Smithy has been held at gunpoint in this year/series alone (and the year/series is not over yet as if I think I'm currently around October.) There's several Gun Runner at-gunpoints by various characters over the episodes, this one and Killer On The Run. If you include CO19 holding him at gunpoint and telling him to put his arms up after dropping the weapon etc in the final Gun Runner before Gina shouts he's a copper it's his 8th! 9th if you include the random gunshot at Carly's funeral but that's a stretch as it wasn't aimed at him (for once)]

Smiffina Episodes: An Honour To Serve - Part 2

This is the final Smiffina episode recap. There is a bonus mention that they met up for a drink down the line but that's it. As a massive aside there is a holby ep that Roberta guests in from 2014 whilst Alex is there as Fletch but they don't get any time onscreen together really 😞)

Part 1 finished with the camera focused on the officers outside whilst Smithy tried to free the hostages and arrest Quinn. The gun went off in a struggle and the last thing Gina heard was Quinn saying "You've got a man down".

Part 2 starts showing what happened inside when it all kicked off. I have issues with this because it's Really. Fucking. Stupid. Particularly for a sergeant and a former officer of CO19 with roughly 13/14 years policing experience at that time. (Who was a squaddie before that!)

Instead of securing Quinn after knocking him down, Smithy hurries round the room and urges the kids and teacher out. He doesn't pin Quinn to the floor and shout at them to go, he doesn't even secure the gun. Quinn struggles to his feet and punches Smithy, knocking him to the ground. He then aims the gun at his head to shoot him at point blank range. Thankfully Sophie hits Quinn with a mug which forces the trajectory of the gun up to the ceiling instead of into Smithy.

This scene just does not make sense because Smithy has the skills, knowledge, common sense, experience and intelligence to know you don't let a dangerous, damaged and mentally ill man with nothing to lose keep free use of his firearm. ESPECIALLY when you have open access to pin him down, get backup and scoot the gun away from him after wrestling him down to the ground in the first place. I am 100 percent biased towards Smithy and can generally forgive him anything (Andrea. Kerry. Kezia.) but this shit is fruit loops.

I know that wouldn't have made for a very long part 2 though but it makes a mockery of the man's training and experience (and is the final push for Gina to resign😪) I've slowed the gif right down to show how stupid it is. He had the opportunity to get on top of him, pin him down and call for backup or scoot the gun across the room and then pin him down at the very least! But no, he runs around and shouts for people to run when he could have done that sat on top of the Very Bad Man.

When Quinn staggers forward and grabs the radio to send the 'man down' message, Sophie pockets Smithy's phone. Gina's expression is devestating.

They play with a little with the sound after and have Heaton call Gina "Ma'am?" twice before he says her name. It's a way of having Gina hear what sounds like Smithy saying 'Ma'am' in a muffled way but given their closeness it would have worked even better if it'd been "Gina?" and made more sense for that to have been said by Heaton given he'd not call her Ma'am as he's her superior. Or as @everythingisdragons says - Callum would have been a much better substitute vocally and subordinate wise and it'd make sense! He asks her if she's ok, WTF mate? Of course she isn't, she thinks Smithy's been shot and potentially killed.

The attention is broken by the children running out of the door. Gina asks the teacher what happened to the policeman and she tells her she thinks he's been shot. Everyone other than Smithy, Polly and Sophie have gotten out. The relief are worried for their Sergeant, especially had noone knows for sure. Gina asks Sgt Hooper if he can go in to end it now and his advice is to wait until they get more idea of the action inside. Gina urges them to go in and take him by surprise so they can get to Smithy but Heaton says they don't have the element of surprise as he knows they're there.

Tony and Ben are sent to the nearby church hall where the children and teachers have been evacuated to see if anyone saw or heard anything of relevance and if not they can go home.

A poorly Rachel arrives having heard what was going and pours over the school blueprints with the other ranking officers and the headteacher. The nearest negotiators are 45 minutes away which is too long. Gina offers her services but Heaton doesn't think it's a good idea given her closeness to Smithy. "I can do my job sir." Heaton tells her he doesn't doubt it but he'd rather it be someone who's not as close to one of the hostages. Callum has done the course but hasn't any practical experience. He asks Gina to remain with him and she agrees. Smithy's radio is cut out of the transmission loop, Quinn's mobile is deactivated and the only people he can contact - and who can contact him - are the police. Rachel is tasked as the link between Heaton and the SO19 Sgt, Callum is going to negotiate with Gina as backup and Heaton is going to control everything from the yard.

Armed officers are placed on the roof opposite and a team of CO19 officers are placed on the staircase leading to the floor Smithy and the others are on. Rachel adds 2 officers to the CO19 team. Gina advises Callum to build a rapport with Quinn and to try and get him to release the girls and give them an update on Smithy, especially if they can get medical help in to him. Sally is set to make notes on the whiteboard of important facts as well as a timeline.

They fear Quinn has a history of dangerous behaviour and is a risk to himself as well as the two teenage girls [and Smithy!!!!!]. He has a history of harassing behaviour in Australia and has used the gun at least twice - once in Aus and once here. It's inferred to be the same gun (how did he get it to and from Australia - especially as he was deported (so you'd think more security when packing/leaving) and both were post 9/11?) Gina points out the only thing Quinn seems to want is Nicola and he won't stop until he gets her.

CO19 sweep the staircases looking for Quinn. They spot him pacing one of the classrooms, freaked by the amount of guns he can see in the yard. Ben reports back to Heaton that they're in position and that Quinn has been seen but Smithy hasn't. Heaton gives Gina and Callum the go ahead to contact Quinn.He refuses to answer at first and drops his phone onto the table giving the viewers the first sighting of a dazed but very alive Smithy! Quinn screams at the phone to shut up.

Finally Quinn answers the phone and Callum introduces himself. He asks to speak to Nicola and Callum says he will see what he can do but asks if they're all ok and if they need anything. He threatens to do 'the same to anyone who comes near as I did to the cop!' Callum asks if Smithy is ok and Quinn says he got what was coming. Callum asks what that means. "It means I shot him." he growls back. Gina instantly turns away from them and looks out the window.

Callum asks if they can send a paramedic in. He claims it's too late for that and to only ring when he can talk to Nicola. Gina blanches and weakly says she has to go speak to the Super, hurrying out the room looking very wobbly.

"He said he shot him." "And we have no reason to believe anything that Quinn says!" Heaton insists, gesturing to the pile of witness statements, telling her none of them mention Smithy getting shot. "It might have happened once they'd left the room so that is meaningless. If Smithy is alive and well why hasn't he got in touch?!" Heaton gives Callum permission to speak to Nicola to see if she's up to speaking to Jake but he has to be adamant that she is 100% prepared and knows what to say. He warns Gina to keep the husband out of the way and tells her to keep positive about Smithy.

Quinn rants to himself that all Nicola had to do was listen to him as Polly is having an asthma attack behind him. "Polly's not well!" Sophie tells him. Quinn doesn't care and answers the phone as Callum rings back, telling him they don't want food/drink or similar, he just wants to speak to Nicola. Smithy and Sophie lock eyes during this and he reassures her but presses his finger to his lips to remind her to keep quiet and not draw attention to him. She shows him that she has his phone when Quinn is distracted ranting down the phone. Smithy gives her a thumbs up and gestures to keep calm and wait and it'll be ok. All Quinn keeps saying is that he wants to talk to Nicola and he knows she's there. Rachel brings Nicola to speak to Gina and Callum. She tells them she'll do anything it takes and say whatever he wants to hear to get Sophie safe. Gina warns her that Quinn is unstable and if they make a mistake they'll never get another chance. Nicola insists she'll tell him any number of lies and promise him anything to get her daughter out.

Sophie asks him why he wants to talk to her mum and Quinn tells her it's because he wants to tell her he loves her and always has/always will. Sophie sobs that he doesn't even know her and Quinn snaps that he does and that he's sorry he hit her and that it's not her fault but it's too late now and Nicola will have the rest of her life to regret what she did to him.

Callum briefs Nicola to not promise him anything unless he okays it or tells her to and that she must do exactly as he says. She promises to and they ring Quinn back and Gina updates Heaton.

Sophie slides Smithy's phone to him when Quinn runs over to the other side of the room after spotting CO19 on the roof opposite. He crosses to another room with the girls and barricades the door, leaving Smithy in the classroom.

Nicola initially freezes on hearing Quinn's voice before asking him not to hurt Sophie and Polly. Callum writes things for her to ask - she asks if they need anything and he says he doesn't want to talk about them and that it's his time for answers. He asks why he rejected her and she says she didn't mean to. She asks him to give himself up. Quinn mocks this "If... when... they put me in prison, you'll be there waiting for me?" "Of course!" "For how long?" "As long as it takes. Let the girls out and we can be together." "Put the cop on...Why are you making her lie?" Callum starts to say that he wasn't making her lie but Quinn hangs up.

Gina receives a call and takes a shocked breath in, gripping Heaton's arm in her relief. "It's Smithy!"

Smithy tells her that Quinn was spooked by CO19 being on the roof opposite and that he's moved the girls into another classroom. He tells Heaton he's fine and Sophie's alright but Polly is struggling to breathe. Quinn is refusing to answer the phone and so Callum keeps ringing back. Heaton says they can't pass Smithy's info on to anyone in the negotiating room because if Nicola lets it slip it's obvious that it's Smithy who told them. Quinn believes he's in control and they have to let him keep believing that. Quinn answers the phone and threatens to kill Sophie if Nicola lies to him again. He asks again why she rejected him and she was afraid of how he made her feel because she's married. She understands that he now loves her more than her husband and that she now knows how it feels to be loved so much and that she'd forgotten what it feels like to truly care for someone else. Sophie runs across the room and removes the barricade, shouting "MUM!" Quinn drops the phone and drags her away, starting to rebuild the barricade which in turn enables Smithy to open the door and unfortunately come face to face with him.

"Long time now see!" He snaps, pointing the gun at Smithy.

When the next part starts, Smithy is being secured to a chair with an extension wire. He reassures Sophie that everything is going to be ok and to try keep Polly calm.

He tells Quinn to give himself up whilst he still can and Quinn points the gun in his face and orders him to shut up whilst he thinks. Smithy tries to reassure the girls as Quinn checks the windows. Quinn answers the phone again and tells Callum the girls are fine but Smithy's 'a bit tied up right now'. Callum asks for proof because an hour ago he'd told him he'd shot him. Quinn says he's tired of game playing and wants Nicola. He says face to face but they refuse it so he says "This might change your mind." And cocks his gun as he puts the phone to Smithy's ear. "Do whatever you need to do." Smithy tells Callum. Quinn is angry it's backfired on him and snatches the phone away, saying "That's enough! Are you satisfied? If I don't get her in here right now I will shoot him and then I'll shoot the lot of us."

Callum asks what to do. Heaton tells him to make contact with him 'Find out how serious he is'. HES JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU! Surely Heaton realises that will just anger him further and make him more likely to do it? The CO19 Sgt thinks going in now would be a risky move as they can't see him now he's moved and he could be anywhere or have chance to shoot them all by the time they get to him. He says if they go in now there'll definitely be casualties, possibly amongst CO19 and almost certainly amongst the casualties. "That's a risk we might have to take." Heaton sighs.

Gina stresses that they have to get paramedics in or Polly out to receive help. Quinn asks Nicola when she's coming in and without approval she says she'll come in as soon as he lets the paramedics in to see Polly. Quinn is surprised but agrees. She tells Callum she'll go in if she has to. Quinn tells Sophie that her mum is coming in to see her!

Rachel offers herself to go in in the place of a paramedic to get Polly so she can tell CO19 and the others where Smithy and the hostages are and the layout of everything. She's a fully trained first aider and Quinn hasn't seen her yet. Rachel changes and goes through, following the directions Quinn gave to allow them access. She and Smithy lock eyes but don't acknowledge each other with Quinn pointing the gun at them. She tries to check Smithy over but Quinn refuses to let her. The actual paramedic insists Polly can't remain in the room and will die if he doesn't let her leave. "Okay... take her."

Smithy squeezes Sophie a small reassuring smile as they wait for Quinn to make his next move. As an officer Smithy knows that Nicola can't/won't be allowed in and can only watch as Quinn rings back and asks for Nicola to arrive. Callum tells him it's not that easy and reassures him that he has to get permission from the borough commander and that he has to promise that he won't try and hurt her. "Hurt her? I love her. Why would I hurt her?"

He gives them 10 minutes and says he'll shoot Smithy if she doesn't appear and if they don't believe him he shot the last man who became him and the woman he loved - Mr Australia.

Rachel tells them that the gun looks like an old army revolver and that he's lost a lot of blood from his side. She tells them where the hostages are and that there's lots of furniture around whilst Callum tells Gina what Quinn said and that he has boasted about shooting a man before so he doesn't doubt he'd do it. Gina tells Heaton that Quinn has called their bluff and given them 10 minutes to bring him Nicola or he'll shoot the hostages and himself. She tells them that she fears he'll kill or die to feed his obsession.

Heaton realises the negotiations are over and asks Gina to tell Callum that CO19 are going in in 4 minutes. He wants Callum to ring Jake when given the signal so that CO19 get a few valuable seconds of distraction. They have to pray he will answer. Callum rings when given the signal and CO19 are given the standby order. Quinn is told that Nicola is on her way and that they rushed through the authorisation needed. Heaton gives the CO19 order to go and they move up as quietly as they can whilst Callum keeps Quinn talking. In the mean time Smithy has managed to untie his arms and leaps to his feet when the door lock is shot out and CO19 rush in, standing in front of Sophie and ordering Quinn to put the gun down. CO19 circle him and order him to put the gun down. He puts it to his head and faces off for a few seconds before complying and dropping the gun and doing as the officers order so he can be arrested.

At the station, Sophie gives her statement and Heaton arranges a briefing. Arun reckons his school was 'like that every day!'. Tony hated school - or -"maybe it was the other way round."

Smithy says he tried the direct approach... but it didn't get him very far. Gina tells him he did very well and sinks into her chair with a very heavy sigh. Smithy asks her if she's alright. She tunes back in as he moves directly into her eyeline and asks again with obvious concern in his tone. She promises him she's fine but there's something she's got to do and she'll meet him in the interview room.

She composes herself after he leaves, moves to her doorway and smartens her uniform before taking a deep breath and leaving her office. She knocks on Heaton's door and asks him for a minute. She tells him she doesn't think it's going to come as a surprise to him as it's been building for some time but she's made her decision and she's going. She doesn't want to wake up and realise she's stayed too long and she's too old for anything else as both have seen happen to others. Heaton doesn't believe she wants to go as she's the one person they'd have to drag out kicking and screaming. "This job is your life." "WAS..." she corrects. She tells him it's not just about the loss of Emma and how that affected the station but everything, reminding him of her reaction when Sally and Callum jumped into water without a second thought to save a woman whilst Gina panicked on the Dock. Something she never ever thought she'd do. "And today when I thought I'd lost Smithy... Honestly Sir, my nerves can't take it anymore." She's so proud of uniform everytime they go out but it gets more terrifying everytime something happens. He accepts. ".. If you're sure. " "Thanks. Thanks very much, John."

Callum tells Sophie that Polly will be in hospital for a few days but she should be proud of herself for getting her help. Gerard is furious when he hears that Quinn needs to be assessed by a psych. He's even less happy when he hears that Sophie and her mum are not going home but to her parents house for a few weeks whilst they come to terms with everything and make a start on a proper separation for the couple.

Heaton tells Gina he knows she's not one for long goodbyes but they still have her for a month... Gina points out she has almost 6 weeks of leave owing and wants to go today without anyone knowing and without a goodbye party. She tells him he's spoilt for choice with three great Sgt's. She doesn't think Smithy will want the job as he didn't enjoy being acting Inspector and she thinks Callum would rather be out on the front line if given a choice. Rachel is the only one left... [ugh!]

Tony overhears that Gina is leaving despite her asking John to keep it private and he goes straight over to Smithy to ask to talk to him after the debrief.

Heaton takes Rachel through to his office to offer her the job. He tells her he was impressed with how she came in when sick and handled the team. He tells her Gina is leaving and he offers her the job with immediate affect. He brought her to Sun Hill because he had heard nothing but good things about her and that he wants someone fresh with energy and vision to move forward. Bulllshiiiiiit. *cough*. She asks to sleep on it and they'll talk tomorrow. Tony tells Gina that she played a blinder today. She says he did too but he tells her it's only because he has the best boss. "Always a pleasure to serve with you." he smiles.

Smithy hurries through to Gina's office to find her packing. He looks utterly gutted. "So it's true then." "Lots of things are true, like I should be at home with my feet up and a stiff drink." Smithy asks her if it's because of what he said and that he knows things have been difficult with everything including 'the Stone thing'. Gina tells him he might not like it but Callum is a good officer. "Look. you know that I've always admired the way you've done the job and that you've always given 100% but you've been a really good friend to me and that's what I'm going to miss the most." "I'm leaving the job, not my friends." Tony has told everyone as it spreads like wildfire round the station. "Not a lot to show for 25 years is it?" she smiles, showing him the head girl badge." "There's plenty to show." Smithy replies, choked. He asks her why now and she said she's done her bit, the jobs changed and it's her time to go. She wants to walk the length of England and Scotland. "and stop at every pub?" Smithy smirks. She asks if they can talk another time, like a drink the next night because she's exhausted and she knows Smithy is "I don't know how you're still standing!" Smithy tells her that the relief are organising a whip-round for a last minute leaving do and she asks him to tell them that she's already gone because she doesn't like long goodbyes and she'll never escape and besides, she'll see them all again soon. "I'll just not be shouting orders, well not in uniform anyway." Smithy smiles sadly and leans in and kisses her cheek.

[captainfightingflower]

Why You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream’s Escape the Simulations fall flat and is mediocre at best (and how they did the concept better in the same game).

You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream, especially it’s special episode dubbed “Escape the Simulations” is a fan favorite, yet “favorite” does not mean “objectively good”, which ETS is not. 

It’s not bad to like ETS, and you’re allowed to like it, i’m not saying you shouldn’t, or that you’re stupid if you genuinely enjoy it. I’m here to explain to you why, by it’s execution and delivery, how it fails, and how a single voice line from the same game completely outdoes what ETS attempted to accomplish.

Spoilers for You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream’s Escape the Simulations below Keep reading:

The episode having a random chance to show up hurts it’s impact and just causes players distress.

It was revealed in a Reddit AMA that it was decided that making Escape the Simulations a part of the same special episode pool as Fraiser Frenzy or Featuring Jimmy Fallon that has a chance to appear every 1/69 times You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream is played was the better option over it happening if you played enough games of You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream in succession because more players would get to experience it.

This was an awful decision, honestly. You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream’s Escape the Simulations would have benefited FAR more if it was kept to something that only occurred if you played YDKJ: FS several times in a row, as the ending line claiming that you’re also stuck, along with Cookie, would have hit so much harder if you had to play it multiple times in a row without breaks. Making you realize that, in a way, Creepy Voice is right, instead of it coming off a cheesy villainy!

You could even improve it further by doing it Trivia Murder Party 2 Escape Room style, where once you trigger Escape the Simulations: it won’t trigger again unless you reinstall the game. Giving it an ominous feeling that you weren’t suppose to witness it at all and solving the issue of it stressing out players who experienced it previously.

Speaking of stressing out players: there has been several accounts of players who can’t play YDKJ: FS without tensing up, anxious that question 4 will be that question. If the game you’re playing is a game that is built to be played multiple times over has an event that causes players to get so stressed out that they can’t play your game anymore: then there’s a problem with the event!

Fun fact: YDKJ: FS was the first Jackbox Game game i’ve ever played (if you’re curious, the first question i got was the Polydactyly meme format one), so there’s a chance that ETS could’ve been my FIRST EVER experience with Jackbox Games as a whole! It’s no mystery that ETS is for the fans who like the lore, but Jackbox Games’ fanbase is largely casual players who don’t know it even has lore! 

Imagine how many families wanted to try out YDKJ: FS, only to be confused at why the host is in a cube and the lady is threatening him very ominously when all they wanted was to play trivia, turning them off from the game, or even the YDKJ franchise entirely, assuming that’s what the game was usually like.

It benefits no one and only lessens the impact of Escape the Simulations to have it just occasionally happen 1/69 games if another special episode isn’t picked.

The acting does not instigate any fear or urgency.

When trying to convince your audience that the character they care about is in danger: it’s crucial that the character SOUNDS like they are in danger. In Trivia Murder Party 2: Phil did an amazing job making Schmitty sound genuinely terrified and listening to the lines alone genuinely feels like someone is being held a gunpoint to read them.

You might say “Well maybe Tom just can’t act distressed as well as Phil can.”, and i raise you the time Schmitty decided to pull a prank on Cookie by tricking him into thinking Old Man killed himself right in front of him: Cookie sounded GENUENLY in distress during his little prank, which proves that Tom IS able to make Cookie sound like he’s distressed, meaning that this choice to make Cookie unnaturally calm when his life is threatened is ether bad voice directing, or intentional. 

binjpipe being “big evil corporation is bad” is the writers picking low-hanging fruit when they own a ladder.

Binjpipe being obviously bad and having the twist being that they are obviously bad does not make for a good twist, and the writers have the ability to make infinitely more creative twists!

Binjpipe would have been more interesting if instead of it being an obviously evil company, it spoofed brands that intentionally advertise themselves strangely. Because while generic adds come and go from your brain pretty easily, strange ads like Little Baby’s Ice Cream stick with you, resulting in much better advertisements!

If binjpipe’s whole shtick was to market themselves as being very clearly evil, when in reality they aren’t, would make for some genuinely effective in-universe advertising! And, if you want: you could even say that Escape the Simulations is just a massive marketing stunt to get more people talking about binjpipe (which if that’s the case, then it clearly worked and would explain Cookie just not being as freaked out as he should be). It’s already canonically implied that they are financially struggling and that they are REALLY bad at marketing themselves, so it wouldn’t be to crazy to assume they’d pull something like that, and it would make for a better, infinitely more creative twist overall if it were true! 

Why should we treat Truth Talk 23/7 as a credible source NOW?

Truth Talk 23/7 (despite it reducing Nate Shapiro into a conspiracy nut) is a radio-styled show that shows up occasionally after games of YDKJ: FS. Clearly a spoof on conspiracy radio shows, due to him asking callers if they are sheep or weasels (or a pair of cargo shorts) or him going through his neighbors mail & garbage (which you might say is just a reference to the Funky Trash question type, which it is, but Nate Shapiro never was in a game that DID the Funky Trash question type, so he’s just dumpster diving for the hell of it) which is highly illegal by the way to go through people’s mail.

So when Nate goes on spiels on how not to go by the dates dictated by Big Calendar or how he is the voice of reason in a world that no longer exists: we shouldn’t to take him seriously. But suddenly, when he’s talking about binjpipe: he’s credible???

You guys just suddenly believe this tinfoil hat wearing paranoid nutjob, who has been doing nothing but rattling off conspiracy theories, that binjpipe’s terms of service is written in blood or that he got sent ancient Sumerian scrolls that translate to “binjpipe: Consumer of worlds”?! That’s like...typical conspiracy nonsense! Like how Disney is run by the devil, or that Pepsi flipped reads out “is dead”.

“But Cookie was gone for several packs!” So what?

Schmitty was gone for several packs too, yet nobody asked where he was! Even when it was revealed he was kidnapped this whole time: some of y’all still believe that he was just acting and not actually in danger! “But didn’t Schmitty appear in Full Stream?” Yeah, and his program is streaming old YDKJ commercials: his voice lines could have been very easily pre-recorded before his kidnapping, as shows take a while to get greenlit IRL. 

Not to mention [REDACTED] is a freelance writer for binjpipe, could it be so hard to believe that he forced Schmitty to record those lines too? I mean the whole program by concept doesn't feel like something Schmitty would wanna do if you check his past characterization. But that's a hot take for another post.

But when Cookie was gone: everyone was all “Where’s Cookie? When’s Cookie coming back? Is Cookie okay?”, dude could have just taken a vacation! Wouldn’t be the first time he’s taken a vacation. Him being absent for a couple of packs means Jack! Not to mention Tom needs to take breaks too, he can’t just voice Cookie in every pack, that would kill his voice long-term.

“The binjpipe part was a joke” and the missed potential of Creepy Voice.

At the end of You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream’s second trailer, when Creepy Voice states that The Jackbox Party Pack 5 is only on binjpipe, Cookie states that the binjpipe part is a joke, Creepy Voice questions this and Cookie reinstates that it is, which causes Creepy Voice to sound genuinely hurt by this as they question it again, resulting in Cookie yelling that it is.

This added dimension to Creepy Voice, if implemented in ETS, could’ve added a layer of tragedy to their character instead of just “spokesperson to evil corporation is just a mouthpiece for the evil corporation's evil”. If Creepy Voice was also trapped along with Cookie, or was living a giant lie, and reset right before they reset Cookie: then it would make their claim that we’re also trapped feel so much more saddening and make Creepy Voice so much more empathetic and humanized, as well as separate them from binjpipe the company and gave them a distinct character of their own.

Also, Creepy Voice should’ve been a co-host. “But isn’t Creepy Voice a co-host already?” Well no, Creepy Voice doesn’t alternate between Cookie through the game like other co-hosts do, and them hosting a question type doesn’t mean anything since side-characters like Milan or Old Man also have their own question types. They are a side character like Helen or Mavis, it’s just the fact that they are really the ONLY recurring side character in YDKJ: FS that makes them feel like they are a co-host.

If Creepy Voice did host alongside Cookie, not only would it mark them as the first female-presenting character to host in the YDKJ series: but it would also make people feel more attached to them if they bounced off each other more, or if Creepy Voice occasionally insulted you for getting questions wrong. Which would make ETS feel so much more like a betrayal and hence more impactful.

Lore heavy episodes aren’t Jackbox Games' strong suit, and never will be.

Jackbox Games, especially back during it’s Jellyvision days, always thrives on cumulative lore building, where individual voice lines add up and snap together into very detailed characters. That’s how the original 5 YDKJ hosts manage to feel like actual people instead of just fictional characters! This results in accessible lore that does not feel intrusive for the styles of game Jackbox Games creates, which are ether trivia or party games.

Due to the fact that these are party games: they do NOT lend themselves to lore heavy episodes, which includes You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream. Every time they attempt to do a lore heavy episode: it just falls flat and does nothing but confuse casual players. It’s just pandering to the hardcore fans, pandering that fundamentally does not work for the styles of games they create. Remember: these are casual party games at their core: not detailed story-driven epics where you expect them to lore dump on you.

Yet, what if i told you that there IS a better handled version of Escape the Simulations, one styled just like their typical cumulative lore right in this very game?

The better “Escape the Simulations” present in You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream.

One of the possible introductions Cookie Masterson can do when you start a game is one where he states that he has been trapped in the game for decades and that he misses his family. On it’s own it seems like another quirky intro in a sea of quirky intros, yet that’s where Jackbox’s signature cumulative lore kicks in.

In You Don’t Know Jack Vol.6: The Lost Gold, when first booting up the game: it’s established that The Captain, the game’s sign-in host, got trapped inside YDKJ: TLG while looking for Jack’s Gold, cursed to be the game’s sign-in host until someone raises the flag to free him, yet because players will want to keep playing: he gets recaptured after a run-in with a gorilla.

Now, decades means that at least 2 decades had passed, and since it has been shown that time between installments is the same in universe as it is IRL (unless stated otherwise), we can compair the game’s release dates.

The first game he appeared in was You Don’t Know Jack Vol.1, which came out in 1995, The Jackbox Party Pack 5 came out in 2018, that’s over 20 years apart, making it at least two decades.

Cookie was a sign-in host in that game.

This reveal, unlike Escape the Simulations, feels EARNED, like those 23 years built up to this single voice line. The writers knew what they were doing with this line, and the amount of horror it brings while making perfect sense with previously established lore cannot be understated.

It sucks that this brilliant voice line is overshadowed by the underwhelming Escape the Simulations, while ETS tries too hard to add unnecessary tension that doesn't work within the confines of a trivia game; this voice line doesn't overstay it's welcome, allowing it to be dismissed by casual players, but giving just enough information for diehards to take notice. Yet that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Now that is my long winded rant about You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream’s Escape the Simulations and how it’s flawed, apparently it’s been retconned in The Jackbox Party Pack 9, and good riddance! It was an awful episode that inadvertently causes war flashbacks to people whenever the word "Content" is spoken in conversation.

But apparently, there was yet another binjpipe focused episode in there, if people spamming the fanart tag with "Binjpipe hungers" as soon as the patch (which Jackbox experimenting with the "release now, patch later" moto is ALSO another hot take for another post) released.

Honestly, Jackbox should take binjpipe out back and shot and only dangle it's corpse as a cheeky background reference instead of trying to be serious with a joke streaming service! I could go deeper, like how the ETS could have made for a killer ARG if tied in the game more with the website (yet with their attempt at the Weapons Drawn. "ARG" which was just a treasure hunt since they broke the first rule of an ARG which is "Don't say it's an ARG", i'm glad they didn't.), or how i would write Creepy Voice as a co-host, but this hot take is getting a bit too hot for the kitchen.

What are your opinions on You Don't Know Jack: Full Stream's Escape the Simulations? Do you disagree and think it's objectively a good special episode? If so, what makes it good objectively? Do you agree with my take, but not one of my reasons, or have another reason as to why it doesn't work? Or do you have your own ideas on how to improve Escape the Simulations? Or is it just conceptually a failure and cannot be saved? Let me know, i'd love to have a civil discussion about this! Anyways, thanks for listening to my Talking Points.

[the-firebird69]

On top of all this we have several things happening here they're getting to be obscene it's so rude I keep messing around with them about everything we need them to get away from our son and we're going to force it too many times and we're working on it we have to work the same a lot more.

--there seems to be a discussion going on around town about John remillard and company and they don't like him and they want him out and he's been messing with them for years so we saw that quite a while long time of talk we see them now I'm still over and trying to say we tried and it's ridiculous we've had enough of this damn s*** so we're enacting a few things here and their rules people have to know there are rules we're going to start enforcing them we have a couple of rules that were going to put in place right now and then they will take effect and people will listen to them we're going to do it our way

--couple other things this week is going to be gigantic these people are going to be praying and bowing and asking for forgiveness about everything then they'll stop doing it and they'll go the other way and it's going to be this cycle our son and daughter it really should radiation isn't high enough it has to be combined and it will be a steady high hard burn it's going to be a lot a lot of pressure when the caverns start dropping and we think maybe Tuesday but boy keeps getting changed because of the water is not right

--another issue of there seems to be a lot of problems developing again new ones from this crew here we're going to start making them regret doing it they're going back to court soon here and all over the place they're going to have nothing people are taking the stuff back stashes and caches are being rated soon it will be a full blown war and they're going to lose their Island will be attacked and more coming up soon and we heard the pseudo empire planet and bja and miscellaneous and some minority morlock it's going ahead

--along with that there are some big groups that are going to start nudging him out he doesn't take right he doesn't do things to make sense people just get sick of them and cut them off he's losing everything they say true but they'll probably just get rid of them and we need it

--another big thing our son is feeling tired but it's from the medicine and it's from activity and it's from the Sun and oxygen is a whole bunch of reasons so he rests and he's going to rest shortly he had a decent sleep last night but it's still tired

--whose changes are coming for him it's really needed it's been a real real long stretch of poverty and being oppressed and being harassed and these guys are doing it demanding to win it's just not going to fit the bill they're going to get nailed and they are getting nailed

--and these people are not smart and they say a lot of stupid things about themselves their dress is black at gang members saying they're prodigies and other gang members and no that's really not what prodigies are at all they look ridiculous and you look stupid people call you stupid you're falling for a lot of tricks people use to take money it looks around it says probably and that is a insult right there and you're being smart it's what you're doing to me I think you're a f****** idiot thanks for holding on to the Mac money for me leaving kill you off and are exterminating you I do appreciate it so he says nothing and he says it's true but ran ranting and yelling for days comes out of it and our son says I guess all that ranting changes how stupid you are no it proves it. And it's ranting and yelling he finally says this I should do something I said yeah try so I can get rid of you and further prove how stupid you are and so he tries he's getting messed up now this guy is going to get kicked around people hate this guy and they're going to take him down right now he's being held at gunpoint to his head. This is a huge story we are going to watch this unfold as Trump falls to pieces he is not going to be alive for very much longer.

There's a few things we need to discuss we will in a moment

Thor Freya

Olympus

This is a terrible terrible show Trump is fighting people and succeeding in Non-Stop and they're pumping them up for some reason and you think it's for him to become machete and all sorts of jobs I know about some of them

Hera

Yeah we have an interest in some of them

Zues

[thinktosee]

Sydney and the Australian experience

On Nov. 11, 2024, I flew from Singapore to Sydney to visit my daughter, Sara and her husband, Hugh. It had been a year since I was in Sydney. For anyone who has a family member – daughter, son, mother, father, brother or sister living/schooling or working abroad, I appreciate the difficulties presented by this separation, although not unusual, in our globalizing world. Nevertheless, absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder. I am sure we all can agree to this. 

Immigration at Changi Airport had an unexpected, yet pleasant surprise as I quickly navigated through on Nov 11. It was passport-less. AI or facial recognition hardware had partially replaced the already efficient electronic passport and thumbing system. Singapore’s uncompromising pursuit of superlatives at any cost may hopefully lead us someday to a cabinet-less system, thus saving the tax paying public a pretty penny to boot, given the fact the Singaporean ministers are the highest paid in the world, for a city that is a fraction of the geographical size and population of NYC or Saigon. I am sure Elon Musk could help configure such an AI for Singapore and perhaps the world too. Now, that’s real progress! It’d be curiously ironic, especially since the ministers have over the years lectured the de-platformed masses about the necessity for upskilling. 

Sydney Airport was just as efficient when we landed. A pleasant experience throughout. Sara and Hugh were as loving and gracious as ever in meeting/fetching me from the airport to their wonderful home 30 minutes away in the suburbs. Australia or more precisely, Sydney is a beautiful city. If anything, the immortal worlds of Patricia Tarn remain with me throughout the years – “Australia has a work-life balance.” I’ll say! In my casual observation, formed after several visits over two decades, Australians have it nailed down pat. They work hard and diligently, and then at 5 pm, they knock off from work and head home or to the local pub, restaurant or to the gym to live the evening. I can’t imagine this ever happening in Singapore. It is just not feasible, as long as the mile-high cost of living relative to wages, and our dependence on large corporations to sustain employment persist. Some may argue that it is a cultural thing. That East Asians are naturally inclined to hard work. That may be true. However, there is hard work and then there is work to death. The latter is what we should avoid. There are better or smarter ways to make a living. Australia seems to recognize this issue, and the people have made great efforts to address it. Take for example the migrant worker in Singapore and Australia. In the former, the domestic helper is held not at gunpoint, but something close to it in the form of a financial penalty against the employer should the helper abruptly leave the place of employment or in the words of the employment agent - run away (now why would an employee run away? Only slaves do this, right?). In this respect, the employer, fearing the worst, is conditioned to assert undue control over the helper, 24/7. In the Australian experience, there are laws protecting the migrant worker against systemic or other forms of economic exploitation, whereas in Singapore the laws work to exploit them. Imagine this – a domestic helper in Singapore could not on her own volition, leave the place of her employment on any evening to visit a friend, dine at a food court, or go to the cinema. She has to obtain the express permission of her employer, which as a matter of course, is rarely given. The concept of 9 to 5 does not apply to her. Instead, it is 9 to 9 and it’s AM both ways, except for a couple of Sundays when she has her day off, after completing the chores first. A chattel she undoubtedly is. This is what we are facing in East Asia – labour exploitation forces us to look and experience work in a dehumanizing manner. The institutionally-depressed wages additionally ensure that folks work round the clock to pay for the high-cost of living. This formalized exploitation is regrettably accepted as natural! 

So what can Australia teach East Asia? Plenty I think. For a start though, we can learn how to live, from the good folks down under. But first, we will have to reform the laws and institutions that exploit us and get a head start on higher wages. And here we can also learn from our ministers. If they can pay themselves millions for doing a mayor's job, I guess so can we, right? 

[vidavalor]

Thanks for reading, @simonezitrone79 💕 If, by a mask, you mean that you think Aziraphale is faking something because he has a plan, we'll have to see what happens but I am afraid that I disagree. I mean, in the long run, Aziraphale has chosen wisely because he has chosen Crowley and good people overall, but people can sometimes make the wrong choices in the moment for the right reasons and I think that's what is happening in The Final 15.

Aziraphale is lovely and smart and a good judge of character but everyone has blind spots and those blind spots are usually driven by past trauma. I think that's kind of a lot of what's happening in S2, as it also is in Crowley's story and his self-doubt causing him to trust only Beez's take on The Book of Life and to not be able to fully see the big picture with Gabriel for most of S2. I do not think that Aziraphale has a secret plan in the elevator. I think we see the ups and downs of this stuff a bit in S2-- 1941, Part 2 is a story of having a win but The Final 15 is one of a loss.

It's only a loss because both Crowley and Aziraphale are having trouble talking about their frozen peas when they are usually better at such things. As such, they both fall victim to their own blindspots and can't see or hear one enough to recognize what's really happening and help each other through the way they usually do.

Aziraphale's blind spot is that he'll sometimes trust the wrong person for the right reasons. He is only really prone to being able to be manipulated-- and to manipulating himself-- when the situation is around a part of Aziraphale's life where he feels that he's not good enough. He is good enough but he doesn't let himself believe that.

He once wound up held at gunpoint in a church by Nazis to whom he had given several of his most beloved, priceless books out of a sense that he wasn't doing enough to help the Allied Forces win the war. It's that 1941 scene that The Final 15 is mirroring in a lot of places and I think it's for similar reasons that Aziraphale goes with who he believes is The Metatron.

It's not for the world this time, the way it was with Rose/Greta in 1941-- it's for Crowley. Aziraphale was a hard pass on going to Heaven until he was tempted with the idea of eternal safety for Crowley. It's not a genuine offer-- it would collapse Heaven & Hell if even one demon were to be restored as an angel-- but it's an offer Aziraphale feels he can't refuse because to do so would be to reject something that he thinks could keep Crowley safe.

He's taken the wrong path with this because he is letting their abusers dictate the parameters of their life but it's understandable how he got to this point. It's not easy watching someone suffer for years upon years the way he has with Crowley. He wants to be able to offer Crowley the safety and peace that he doesn't think he can give him, even as Crowley is trying to tell him that the only safety and peace he knows is with Aziraphale and that's all he needs. It's Aziraphale not allowing himself to accept that he is good enough as he is and it will, quite literally, be the death of him. That's the "going to Heaven" and going into the light of the elevator to me-- it's a fall, it's a death.

Gabriel could have gone all the way down this path himself but he didn't to have a contrasting story to Aziraphale. Gabriel's issues are, at the core, the same as Aziraphale's. They are both excessively self-sacrificing and struggle with being told that they exist to serve God and others and so are not to claim any resources for themselves. They are supposed to be above all of it and they both know that's bullshit but they've been stuck trying to figure out a path forward. It's not a matter of access to resources as to which one of them survived it in S2 because they both found what they needed.

It's a matter of who shut people out and who let people in.

People can go up and down with this. Gabriel spent thousands of years too afraid to trust-- and for understandable reasons, considering the culture of Heaven. It's only when he is open with trusted friends who see him as a person that he starts to heal. Aziraphale is often open with Crowley and that has saved him for a long time. One of the loveliest moments in the series is an example of that in 1941, Part 2, when Aziraphale expresses his hesitation to go to Goldstone's-- to do the human things he loves and wants to do. Aziraphale has been doing those things for thousands of years but he still has conflict over them. Crowley recognizes that struggle in Aziraphale and he was able to help him in 1941 because Aziraphale let him. In the present of S2, though? The opposite is happening.

In the present of S2, Aziraphale ultimately shuts Crowley out. It's not just Crowley he shuts out-- Aziraphale also ignores any lessons he could be taking from Gabriel and Beez. He does so because he's blinded by his negative self-thoughts-- the darkness/demons have overrun his bookshop. It doesn't mean it's permanent but I think that's the plot more than that it is that he gets into the elevator with a plan. His smile over the closing credits is a miserable kind of madness. Is he ultimately going to help burn it all down? Oh, yeah. But, in the short term, he's completely fucked.

The angel with the huge heart that helps everyone else seems too lovely to fall but he is falling because, while he's the first person to help others in need, he goes through periods where he doesn't acknowledge that he's a person in his own right as well. He thinks he should be above being a person but he also knows he is one. Some days, he can fight it and some days, he loses the battle. It is kind of the ultimate in human stories, eh?

All of Bedford Falls is going to need to save George Bailey here.

Playing with Fire

Armageddon: The end of the world.

World: The Earth. Also: a person's own universe-- the life of an individual and the people they let into that life.

With that in mind...

Armageddon: The destruction of Earth and the deaths of all living beings inhabiting it. Also: a person's mental health crisis.

"When alle is fayed and all is done, ye must choose your faces wisely for soon enouff, ye will be playing with fyre." -Agnes Nutter's final prophecy of Armageddon and a big theme of the story in a nutshell.

Faces: The front portion of the head of a human or an animal.

Also: to confront and deal with a difficult or unpleasant task or situation.

Also: the front of a building, including its front door.

Agnes Nutter's prophecy is not just about the destruction of Earth but about the everyday Armageddon of people's lives. Soon enough, we all will eventually find ourselves playing with fire-- in dark times and in the danger zone of falling. We all wind up there at some point and we need help either staving off a fall or getting back up from one.

The only way out of that is to choose our faces wisely. It's to choose to trust the people who show us they are worthy of that trust and to let them in enough to help with safety and support.

It's to form a mutual aid association and face the world together as a group. That's the only way to move through the dark stuff to keep it from getting you-- to go as one, together.

In S2, Gabriel survives by doing exactly this to the letter, even though he doesn't know Agnes' prophecy. He is the positive example of this theme in action.

Gabriel chooses his faces wisely. He is unconcerned with how a person is labeled or judged by others and, so, trusts two demons in Crowley and Beez to help him, and enjoys joining the human world as a bookseller. He puts his fate in the hands of Aziraphale, the only angel he has seen with the good heart and moral character to be fully trustworthy.

He isn't bothered or intimidated by Beez's change of face because he can recognize them enough to know they are who they say they are and outward appearance matters little to the guy who is, ironically, also sometimes the vainest person on the show.

He picks a person in Beez to trust with all of himself who has proven with their actions that they are worthy of that trust. This is the wisest of choices as it's evident Ineffable Bureaucracy were made for each other.

Without opening up and trusting Beez, Gabriel would not have had the means to survive his fall without losing himself entirely. Trusting them is the wisest choice of a face that Gabriel has made.

He then is ready to face his issues with Heaven and its role in all definitions of Armageddon. He rejects the, well, literal face that is The Metatron...

...and goes to the face of the building where he knows he'll be safe...

...because he knows he can trust the faces of the couple who lives there to let him in and help him.

As such, Gabriel survives his personal Armageddon. He falls and he's struggling but he is saved from forms of death by Beez, Crowley and Aziraphale, finds a new way forward, and rendered literally immune to darkness as a result.

Gabriel went down in S2... both figuratively and literally... a mental health crisis and cast down from his position at the top of Heaven and down in the lift to Earth as he ran for his life... but he's saved from the fall leading all the way to death by virtue of the fact that he chose his faces wisely. Beez, Crowley and Aziraphale helped him find his way through and join The Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association and now Jim has people.

Not only does this help Gabriel but it's going to help others as well because now that Jim is on the mend, he can be there for them and others as well.

But what about the one whose story Gabriel is paralleling in S2?

What about Aziraphale? Did he remember in S2 what Agnes told him?

He did not.

In S2, for the most part, Aziraphale was pushing away the people and things he needed to survive a personal Armageddon and, as of the end of S2, is playing with some serious, serious fire.

In The Final 15, Aziraphale chose an untrustworthy being wearing the very same face that Gabriel had wisely finally rejected...

...over quite literally a lot of face of the person he trusts more than anyone else...

...he chose the elevator door face ("going to Heaven"/death) over that of his own bookshop (life)...

He was offered the chance to become the new Gabriel and that is likely more true in the S2 falling Gabriel sense of things than it is in terms of the job offer being real. In his effort to take care of everyone, Aziraphale didn't let in the people around him to help him, too. He didn't see himself as a person in his own right. He made the fatal mistake against which Agnes cautioned and which Gabriel avoided.

That said... everyone goes down. It's just gravity. Everyone wants to live and they'll eventually fall trying. No one asks for death. They all ask for coffee.

But those that manage to survive can find wings can fly and go back up together.

Insects, birds...

The flies. The nightingales...

Did you give wings to peacocks, Job? The communication metaphor of feeding the ducks frozen peas:

Or teach the ostrich to run? The ostrich who ran:

And when you feed your ducks your frozen peas and make your own history, you're living life together.

Everyday/it's a getting closer/going faster than a rollercoaster...

A rollercoaster goes in a bendy loop. It goes up, it goes down, it goes upside down and right side up again and sideways and every which way, and when, all is said and done, it drops you off back off in what looks like the same place you began... but the experience has left you a changed person. This is life.

Life is a series of loops on the rollercoaster track. You can go up and you can down and it doesn't matter because it's all the same track and your position, so long as you are alive, isn't fixed but forever in motion.

If you choose your faces wisely like Gabriel did, they can help you stay alive, get back on the rollercoaster, and take the ride with you. If you shut out those who are there, you might never get back on. If you don't, as the song suggests, love will surely never come your way.

But what if you're like Aziraphale and you have chosen your faces wisely but then, unwisely, pulled away from them? What if you push people away when you're struggling and are only going so high up because the track has run out and you're about to take a massive plunge down? Is it really all over for him?

Yes and no. Yes, because a fall is a death of sorts and there is no going back. Aspects of it will forever be a part of him... but, also, no, because while he might have chosen his faces, for very sympathetic reasons, ultra-poorly in The Final 15, he has chosen them very well before. As such, Aziraphale has people around him, like Crowley and The Lords of the Flies, that will help him back up-- as well as some people he might not yet even realize are in his corner.

To save Aziraphale from the effects of Aziraphale's own, personal armageddon, they're going to have to come together to change Heaven and, in doing so, they will stop the destruction-of-Earth kind of Armageddon in the process. In choosing the faces of one another over the floating head's face, they'll save their individual worlds and the Earth as a whole, giving everyone a chance to live their lives as they see fit.

Save the angel, save the world.

A-hey? A-hey-hey. 😇

[whumpily-ever-after]

เพื่อนายแค่หนึ่งเดียว Never Let Me Go Whump List

Summary: Life for Neung, an heir to an incredibly wealthy family, changes drastically when his father is murdered right before his eyes. Power shifts in his family’s company make is necessary for his mother to hire him a bodyguard. With the help of his new bodyguard Palm, Neung must protect himself from those who wish to take his inheritance for themselves.

Country: Thailand

Year: 2023

Genre: BL, action, romance, youth

Watch it on: YouTube

Spoilers ahead...

Whumpee: “Nueng” Nuengdiao Kiattrakulmethee played by Phuwin Tangsakyuen

Episode 1: Father is shot in front of him, at gunpoint, his father dies in his arms, screaming

Episode 2: None

Episode 3: Punched in the stomach x2, falls to his knees, helped to stand, arm across his stomach, concern for Palm, hit in the stomach with the end of a baseball bat

Episode 4: Kicked in the chest, falls on his back, throws up, coughing, concern for him, saying he can’t breathe

Episode 5: Wakes up in the hospital, ears ringing, betrayed, yelling, says that nobody wants him, comforted, crying, ambushed, sees his mother shot, shot at, forced to run, yelling for his mother, shaking, begs to be taken home

Episodes 6-7: None

Episode 8: Pushed to the ground, at gunpoint

Episode 9: Told they were found, shot at, pushed over, scared, blames himself for Palm’s mother’s death, tries to isolate himself to protect others, crying

Episode 10: Crying; blames himself for everything that happened, crying

Episode 11: Held against a wall, a hand over his mouth, scolded; drugged (cloth over his mouth), dragged away; coughing, bound to a chair, hands tied with rope, threatened

Episode 12: Still bound to a chair, forced to watch as Palm is hit and shot, holding a severely wounded Palm in his arms, crying; crying out for Palm, blood on his hands, helped to sit, crying  

Whumpee: “Palm” Pannakorn Jannaloy played by Pond Naravit

Episode 1: None

Episode 2: Stops a mugging, choked, threatened with a knife, hit in the side, holding his side

Episode 3: Pushed, punched in the face, hit on his back, kneed in the stomach x2, punched in the stomach, arms momentarily held, hit over the back with a stool, falls to the floor, manhandled, wounds tended to

Episode 4: Punched, kneed in the stomach, bottle broken over his arm, punched in the face x2, falls on his hands and knees, back stomped on, arm stepped on, concern for him

Episode 5: Scolded for failing to take care of Nueng, arm in a cast, bruises on his face, slapped, grabbed by the collar, feels guilty, concern for Neung, slips and falls, takes his cast off, holds his arm as he runs (his arm is healed now I guess), ambushed, shot at, sees his father shot, runs

Episodes 6-7: None

Episode 8: Pushed to the ground, almost hit with a piece of wood, at gunpoint

Episode 9: Finds out his father was framed, told they were found, sees his mother shot, shot at, his mother dies, grieving, yelling, lashes out in his grief, gets his heart broken, pushed down, crying, drugged (with a sleeping pill), left behind

Episode 10: None

Episode 11: Surrounded, grabbed by the arms, kicked in the stomach, kneed in the stomach, punched, knocked to the ground, grabbed again, punched repeatedly, falls to the ground, beaten; forced to his knees, hands bound behind his back, told to kill Nueng and Nueng’s mother or his father will be killed in prison, kicked back, gun to his forehead

Episode 12: Willingly walks into a trap, gun to the back of his head, manhandled, hands bound in front of him (with rope), pistol whipped, blood on his face, kicked over, shot in the leg, shields Nueng, shot in the back; on a gurney, blood on his face, concern for him; wakes up in a hospital bed, IV in his hand, helped to sit, his right leg is temporarily paralyzed; says he doesn’t want to be a burden, helped to walk; told he doesn’t need to take care of Nueng anymore

Whumpee: Chopper played by Perth Tanapon Sukumpantanasan

Episode 7: Discovers his father ordered the attack on his aunt and cousin

Episode 9: Confronted about knowing what his father did, shoved

Episode 10: Accused of being his father’s accomplice; slapped, his dad vaguely threatens his friend

Episode 11: Concerned for his friend; pointing a gun toward his father, his father calls him a coward, his father tells him he doesn’t deserve to be his son

Episode 12: Pushed against a wall, accused of helping his father; shoots his father (in the leg), sees his father shot again, yelling, held back; feels guilty for his father’s actions, crying, told it wasn’t his fault  

Whumpee: Ben played by Chimon Wachirawit Ruangwiwat

Episode 7: Pushed, punched in the face, falls to the floor, kicked repeatedly, rescued, helped to stand

[dgcatanisiri]

I touched on this briefly earlier, but I want to go in to it deeper.

When the geth attack Eden Prime in ME1, the Council’s response is a brush off. “The turians don’t found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems.” “Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went in to the Traverse.” Those are direct quotes.

Except... Eden Prime is NOT on the border of the Terminus Systems. Here, let me dig up the map from the wiki...

See? The maps aren’t perfectly mirrored to each other, but the general shape can be mapped. The Exodus Cluster is where the Utopia System is, where Eden Prime is. An attack on Eden Prim isn’t a random attack on a far-flung colony world. That is well within Alliance borders. Eden Prime itself was established in 2152, ME1 takes place in 2183, it’s been established for more than thirty years, over a generation - Jenkins was BORN on Eden Prime, and is old enough to have enlisted in the Alliance and made it through academy training.

And this is a pattern of behavior among the Citadel Council in specific and the Council races more broadly - the First Contact War happens because humanity activated the Relay near Shanxi, and the turians response was to blow the human ships up, rather than even negotiate. This is because Citadel law is to not activate dormant Relays.

But humanity wasn’t allied with the Council at the time. Humanity was not subject to the laws of the Citadel races - It’s been a constant refrain in the news about being signatories to various treaties creates certain impositions. When the US pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement, it meant that the US was not bound to those agreements. 

Now, there can be political backlash and consequences to not being in these agreements, sure. But the point is, if you’re not a signatory, you are not abiding by that agreement. By definition, humanity, making its first forays into space exploration, this being First Contact, could not be a signatory to that agreement. This is the Citadel IMPOSING their laws on non-signatory sovereign entities, and doing so at gunpoint - no attempt is made by the turians to negotiate. The turians don’t even communicate with the alien ships. They assume threat and open fire. 

And, in the wake of all this, HUMANITY are the ones painted in Citadel space as bullies and aggressors. 

What the FUCK?!

Humanity just got mugged and the cops showed up, took the mugger’s side, and said “now you’re friends, shake hands, and go about your business.” 

And when humanity complains about their treatment, the Council’s reaction is to slap them down with bullshit procedures that make humanity out as the ones responsible for any misfortune. Like above. Eden Prime is not some border colony that’s just finding its feet. This is a colony world that was established before First Contact, closer to the heart of Alliance space. An attack there constitutes a major threat, not just to the Alliance, but several other central worlds.

But... It’s humans complaining again. And slandering one of the Council’s top agents in the process.

Because they don’t accept the eye witness report of Saren’s involvement. They let Saren have access to the files and records of the person he is accused of killing (conflict of interest!). The fact that Nihlus, who, being outside of the Alliance chain of command, was not in a position where anyone could argue with him, chose to proceed on his own, got killed is actually held up as evidence against Shepard’s suitability for the Spectres (and Saren really shouldn’t have any say, as Udina rightly points out, even though it’s framed as Udina being petty). 

Oh, and there’s the fact that Garrus is TOLD that his investigation into Eden Prime is concluded, not that he’s wrapped it up. This is coupled with the fact that all indications are that this investigation takes place in a short time frame - Shepard is out for about two thirds of a day before they arrive at the Citadel, and while the cut to Udina’s office could take place over any length of time, Udina’s comments indicate that it’s probably not that long after the Normandy docked, because he’s commenting on the appearance of Shepard and squad, who Anderson proceeds to introduce, and then when we get control of Shepard, they get to do the first-time tourist thing, meaning they haven’t had the time or opportunity to look around and get acquainted with the Citadel. 

So this is maybe A DAY’S worth of investigation, and seemingly not even enough time to go in person to the site proper and back - if Normandy is still out from the Citadel when Shepard wakes up after sixteen hours or so, then it would be that long for a ship to reach Eden Prime from the Citadel, plus the return trip. Like, standard rule of thumb IRL is that a crime scene ALONE will stand for about a day as evidence is collected. But this is saying that the investigators don’t even have a chance to go in person - AT BEST, we might assume robotic clean up bringing the forensics to the Citadel, but... That seems like bad policy to me, considering the value of actually interacting with the crime scene environment.

Oh, and let’s not forget Garrus’s credentials - he’s a cowboy cop in C-Sec’s structure, chafing under the standard rules and procedures. And he is the ONLY C-Sec officer assigned to the case that we see. On top of Pallin telling him that his investigation is over. This just SCREAMS that the Council is suppressing the investigation - they want it over and done with, and the complaint to go away. Never mind that the geth were involved.

And the thing that is called “irrefutable evidence”? It’s Tali, a quarian, whose species are considered vagrants to the Citadel races at large, providing a fragment of memory from a geth, something that Anderson says he thought was impossible.

Combined with everything above, it comes across as the Council finally deigning to act now that humanity has a non-human advocate, even if it is a quarian.

And then there’s also how the Council SAYS to Shepard that every effort will be made to help them track down Saren, but then we have Saren openly retaining his position with Binary Helix - Binary Helix does most of its business in Citadel space, if they have business ties to a known and wanted fugitive, it’s in their business interests to at least APPEAR to cooperate. But Shepard doesn’t get to even say “Saren is a wanted criminal I have been sent to apprehend, help me find him or watch your contracts disappear.” 

Honestly, all of this being the case, the Council contacting Shepard after each mission comes across more like them waiting to catch Shepard in a mistake and prove that humanity isn’t ready for the Spectres.

All of this, all of it, and then we reach ME2, when the colonies that actually ARE on the edge of the Traverse are being attacked, and the Council’s response, even though humanity is now ON the Council, is exactly the same. They learned nothing. They’ll still hang humanity out to dry.

And in all of it... The Council races STILL can’t admit that THEY caused this. It’s all still “humanity are bullies and aggressive, determined to have their way.” When really it’s more that humanity got attacked in a dark alley, the cops laughed it off and said “that’s the law,” and so humanity decided “fine, then we want to be in a position to influence and change that law, because it’s unjust.”

So when Ashley is saying that she doesn’t trust the alien governments, believing that they’ll leave humanity to die, that, in a metaphor of a bear attacking and you sicing your dog on the bear in the name of getting away while it’s distracted, humanity is the dog and the Council are the person getting away... Yeah, she’s right. That’s kinda the whole point of at least the first third of ME3, the Council throwing Earth and human interests in front of the bear so that they have a chance to get away.

She’s also right to be concerned about a cowboy cop and a merc taking a mission for gratis being given full access to the most advanced stealth ship in the Alliance fleet, which has a database full of schematics and secrets. She does what is right and proper in this instance - she approaches her CO in confidence, voices her concern, accepts the decision made, and does not let this interfere with her duties. In point of fact, she���d be a poor soldier if she DIDN’T make Shepard aware of her concerns and just acted as their personal yes-woman, going along with their decisions with no hesitation, even if they’re wrong.

[mochegato]

Heroic Deeds

Thanks to @boldlyanxious and @ive-fallen-down-the-rabbithole for the idea

 Marinette was going to kill her roommate.  Because that’s why she was in this situation in the first place, her roommate was too busy to pick up his own damn paperwork.  And she was just too “nice” to say no.  And puppy dog eyes should be illegal.  In fact, that was the next house rule.  No puppy dog eyes.  She has never in her life been able to say no to puppy dog eyes and mean it.  Manon, Etta, Ella, Adrien… no more!  Hence forth they were banned.  It was already a rule with the kwami.  It would just have to be instituted as a rule with humans as well.

But until then, she had to deal with this ridiculousness.  This thief that sounded like he was bored out of his mind, like she was inconveniencing him by being held hostage.  Is it too much to ask for him to be more invested in this than she is?  I mean, she may be the one with the gun pointed at her, but he’s the one that’s pointing it and he’s the one that broke into the office to steal whatever documents he was halfheartedly looking for during the day instead of at night when NOBODY WOULD BE THERE.  

But noooo, this jackass had to do it during the day and at the exact moment when she would be there. Really, what was her luck?  Was this punishment for not wearing Tikki constantly anymore?  She was only supposed to be in this office for a total of a whole ninety seconds. Walk in, grab the documents that were supposed to be ready and waiting for her, and walk out.  But instead she was stuck here critiquing this idiot’s ransacking skills, because that ninety seconds is exactly when this blasé thief decided to strike.  

At least Kate was safe, she huffed to herself.  Kate had been lucky enough to have gone to the backroom for the documents just a few seconds before Idiot Man came in.  Hopefully, she had escaped through the backdoor and had contacted the police already.  Because apparently Kate hadn’t pissed off the kwami of luck like Marinette somehow had.  She and Tikki were going to have a very long, very hissy discussion when she got back home.

And this guy wasn’t. Even.  Paying.  Attention. To.  Her.  The gun was pointed in her general direction, but it was like she was the furthest thing from his mind, like she held the same threat level as a kitten.  But that was his mistake, underestimating her, because this kitten had claws.  God, she’s been hanging out with Adrien too much.  She’s beginning to think like him.  She let out a breath and banged her head against the back of the chair she was sitting in out of frustration and disappointment in herself.

It wouldn’t be so bad if he was ignoring her to focus on his search, but he wasn’t really paying attention to that either.  She would think he was high on something if there were any other signs of it.  No, this just was just bored, like he was wasting time, waiting for the police to show up.  Maybe it’s the ski mask he was wearing that was annoying him.  Who wears a ski mask in the summer?  And… did he just check his phone!  Oh, Hell no!  That was the final straw.

She moved before she could overthink it, sliding over the desk she had moved behind when he came in. She plowed into his chest with both feet, catching him completely off guard and knocking him back into the filing cabinet.  

“Hey, get off me!” he yelled, sounding more affronted than worried.  

She twisted around and kicked the gun out of his hand with one leg, following it up with a punch that would have broken his nose if he hadn’t blocked it with his forearm, redirecting her hit.  She stopped her momentum before breaking her hand on the filing cabinet.  She pulled her arm back instead striking her elbow directly into his cheek.

“What the fuck!” he yelled, holding his cheek and looking up at her like she was crazy.

He reached for his gun, but she kicked his arm and raced for it herself, kicking it under a nearby cabinet. “That was my gun!” he gritted out, rounding on her.  At least he finally looked invested in this.

“I noticed,” she smirked at him, delivering a roundhouse kick to the face.  He dodged at the last second and shoved her leg, changing her momentum and sending her flying toward the edge of the table.  She squeezed her eyes shut as she braced herself for the impact. If she timed this right, she could use the table as a springboard to go back at him.  The table was solidly built from thick, heavy wood and metal.  It had to weigh several hundred pounds.  It would be able to take her weight without moving even a centimeter.  She took a breath to prepare, but the impact was significantly softer than she had anticipated and didn’t give her the bounce back she expected, causing her to end up sprawled on the floor instead of springing back at the thief.  

Before she had even registered what happened, she heard a grunt in front of her and the sound of the table scraping against the floor as it moved.  She looked up to a red helmet looking back at her.  Her eyes flicked down quickly to his chest as if she needed the confirmation the bright red bat there gave her.  He stood up quickly, rubbing his shoulder as he approached her. He knelt down in front of her. “You okay?”  His voice was considerably softer than she would have anticipated from the vigilante considered to be the most dangerous of the bats.

She stared at him for a few seconds, shocked by the tone and to see him there in the first place.  She had been expecting the police not a bat. It was daytime, everyone knew they didn’t come out during the day.  The bat signal didn’t work during the day.  “Miss,” he tried again, his voice taking on a concerned edge.

“Oh!  Yes.  Yeah. I’m fine.”  She nodded rapidly and reached down to rub her leg where the thief had pushed her, more to relieve anxiety than because it actually hurt.  

“You’re hurt.”  It was a comment, not a question.

“It’s okay, really,” she tried to assure him, but he was already up and stalking toward the thief who had started edging toward the door.  Marinette mentally scoffed at his stupidity.  She understood underestimating her, she was an unknown and looked tiny.  But Red Hood was a known entity.  His threat level was well established.  Why on Earth wouldn’t the thief have run as soon as he appeared?

“Hood…” he started nervously, holding up his hands as though trying to placate him.

Whatever other argument he was going to try to make died on his lips as Hood picked him up and threw him through the large, plate glass, front window.  He stood at the window for a few seconds, watching the thief run away. Satisfied with what he saw, he turned back to her.  “How badly are you hurt?”  He approached her slowly.  He rolled his shoulder a few times, almost imperceptibly.  If she hadn’t been familiar with trying to hide an injury, she might have missed it.

Marinette smiled at him.  “I’m not. Are you?  Did I hurt your shoulder when I slammed into you?”

“Are you sure?”  He stopped a respectable distance from her.  He seemed to eye her leg suspiciously, but backed off questioning it. “I mean emotionally too.  An incident like that can be stressful for some people.”

Marinette rolled her eyes.  “Please, that wasn’t stressful.  That was annoying.  And you didn’t answer my question.  How is your shoulder?”

Red Hood paused for a few seconds watching her.  “It’s fine.  You weren’t afraid?”

Marinette scoffed.  “No. The most stressful part of this is I’m supposed to be picking up some important documents for my roommate and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get them now.”

“If you didn’t feel afraid of what he would do, why did you attack him?  You could have provoked him into doing something he wasn’t going to do before,” he gently chided her.

Marinette let out an annoyed sigh.  “You sound like my roommate.”

“Sounds like a wise man. Why didn't you listen?” He cocked his head to the side.

She mumbled something into her feet, not making eye contact with him.

He arched his head closer to her.  “What was that?”  She mumbled something again, slightly louder this time, but still not loud enough for him to understand what she said.  “What?”

“Because he pissed me off.  Okay?” she finally yelled in exasperation.

“What did he do to piss you off?” he asked carefully, because if the guy did anything to hurt her, he was going to hunt the asshole down and kill him.

“He was bored,” she growled.  “He was holding me at gunpoint and acting like I was the one that forced him into the situation and it pissed me off, okay.  I mean the audacity!” Red Hood fought laughing at the adorable scrunched up face she made as she talked.  She waved her arms around agitatedly as she spoke.  “You don't want to be here?  Newsflash, asshole!  Neither do I! I mean, if you’re going to threaten me, put some effort into it, you know?  Am I not worth the effort?”

“You are.” Red Hood answered instantly.  “I mean, you seem like you are… from what I can tell.”

“It’s just disrespectful,” she groused, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting as she leaned against the table.

“Extremely,” he agreed absently, staring at her pouting lips.  “Lucky for you though.  Seems like he underestimated you.  I don’t even think you needed this knight in shining leather to rescue you.”

She huffed out a laugh.  “I already have a knight in shining leather.  Two, actually, if you count my roommate, which I do.  I don’t really need another.”

He motioned like he wanted to take his helmet off but stopped himself.  He positioned his arm on the table she was leaning on, supporting his weight as he leaned closer to her.  “But are they heroes?”  

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.  “I mean… to me,” she added quickly.  She didn’t need anyone making any kind of a connection between her and Chat.

He seemed to contemplate her for a moment before responding.  “You must be quite something to have so many knights willing to fight for you.  But, maybe you can use another, after all they’re not here right now and I am.  I can be your knight in shining Kevlar instead.”

She chuckled, looking down shyly.  When she looked back up, it was through her eyelashes.  “Yes, you are here and during the day too,” she smirked at him.  “I didn’t think you guys could come out during the day.  I thought sun repelled you.”

“You’re thinking of vampires.”

She pretended to study him carefully.  “So you’re stating for the official record that you are not, in fact, vampires then?  Just regular bats.  Interesting.” She looked away nodding as if in thought.  “I’ll have to let my friend know you’re refuting that theory.  She runs a superhero blog.  The vampire Bats theory is one of the more popular posts.”

He chuckled and she could hear the smile through his words. “We aren’t.  Well, I’m not.  Can’t vouch for Robin though.  He’s definitely some kind of cryptid.”

Her face was starting to hurt from trying to contain her smile. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him.  “Although… you could be lying.  After all, you are entirely covered right now… in the middle of the day… in the summer. That’s a lot of leather for a hot day. It kind of looks like you’re hiding from the sun.”  She shrugged her shoulders innocently.

Red Hood stared at her a few more seconds and she was cursing the helmet for an entirely different reason than she usually did.  Right now she was dying to know what kind of face he was making.  Was he smirking?  Was he frowning?  Was he blushing?  Did she make Red Hood blush!  Was he enjoying the interaction or was she annoying him?  He moved over to the window he had thrown the thief through earlier and stopped a few feet from it.  He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his forearm and exposed it to the sun.  “Happy?”

Marinette looked at his forearm for a few seconds, struck by the muscles that were so defined even in his forearms.  The things that man could probably do with his hands… She walked closer and started to reach out to touch his forearm only to snap her hand back at the last second.  Her cheeks blazed brightly.  She cleared her throat lightly.  “For now,” she nodded as casually as she could manage, looking everywhere but his eyes.

“Don’t feel shy, P… rincess,” he smirked at her. “Feel free to feel freely.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, as much to stop herself from reaching out to touch him as embarrassment. “Probably not a good idea to go around groping people you don’t know so….”

“So,” he started quietly, moving closer to her, “you’re saying you want to get to know me better and then you’ll grope me.” He quirked his head to the side as he took another step closer.  “How well do we have to know each other for that?  ‘Cuz, I’d let you do it now, so it’s all up to you.”

Marinette’s cheeks blazed a deep red.  She looked away to collect herself.  While this was fun and Red Hood’s body should be as illegal as his actions, she wasn’t looking to be another notch for him and considering the speed he was moving with someone he just met a few seconds ago, that’s all she would be.  She took a breath and looked back up at him.  “I’m saying… I should find the papers I was sent here for and get them back to my roommate.”

“Let me walk you home.  Make sure the guy doesn’t come back.  I can check the security of your place too to make sure you’re safe,” he offered in a tone that sounded sincere.

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Okay?”  He sounded surprised at her answer.  Most women must not say yes to him, which frankly she had a really hard time believing.

“To the walk, not the apartment check,” she corrected him firmly.  “My apartment is safe.”

“Are you sure?  I can…”

“My roommate made sure it’s safe and I trust my roommate more than I trust you,” she cut him off.  “No offense.”

Red Hood was silent for a few seconds before nodding.  “Okay.”

<><><><><> 

Marinette laid down on the couch for a while after getting home replaying the events in her head. No matter how many times she ran through them, they still didn’t make any sense.  The thief didn’t make sense.  Red Hood being there during the day didn’t make sense.  And Red Hood hitting on her… didn’t not make sense, but it definitely dampened the crush she had on him.  

After a little while, her stomach reminded her she had planned to pick up something to eat after picking up the paperwork, which means she hadn’t eaten since the croissant she had at breakfast and it was now dinnertime.  She let out a groan and forced herself up off the couch.  Maybe chopping some vegetables would make her feel better anyway.

She had already started sautéing the onions when the puppy dog eyed man himself finally made it home.  “That smells great, Mari.  Were you able to get the paperwork?”

Marinette blinked at him a few times before narrowing her eyes and pointing the knife she was holding at him.  “You’re not allowed to do puppy dog eyes anymore!”

“What?  Why?  I mean… I don’t… do that,” he trailed off quietly at the glare she was sending him.

“Yes, you do,” she glowered and went back to cutting vegetables for dinner a little more forcefully than she had originally.

“So what happened that was so bad?” he asked carefully.  He moved to sit on the counter, but made sure to keep a fair distance between him and Marinette, or more specifically, her knife.

“The office got robbed!” she exclaimed loudly, waving the knife wildly.  “While I was in it!”

He jumped down off the counter and ran to her.  He grabbed her shoulders and looked her over carefully for any signs of injury.  “Mari!  Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

Marinette scoffed.  “No.  I just started trying to take him down when Red Hood interrupted.”

“Red Hood, huh?”  He waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Yes, Red Hood,” she rolled her eyes.  “Shut up.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it quickly and took the knife from her hand first.  Once he was fairly safe from getting stabbed, accidentally or on purpose, he continued.  “Did you flirt with him?”

“What?” Her cheeks flared brightly.  What the hell!  Why was he asking her that?  That was not a conversation she wanted to have.  It was hard enough to have normal conversations with him and his tight shirts and charming smile and piercing eyes, but him encouraging her to flirt with other people was really not a conversation she wanted to have.

“Well you… you like him, right?  You said he was your favorite and he was a dilf, even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have any kids,” he said nonchalantly as he swirled the onions in the pan.

“Yeah, because he could be my daddy,” Marinette muttered to herself, but apparently not as quietly as she thought she did, judging by the choking sounds next to her.

“What!”

“What?”  The smug smirk making its way across his face told her that her denial didn’t come across as innocently as she had hoped.  “Shut up, Jason.”

“So he made a good impression then?” He asked somewhat awkwardly, which was bizarre for him. “You might even want to see him again?”

She smacked him in the shoulder pausing when he flinched heavily.  She stared at him, studying him closely.  That was where Red Hood had been nursing earlier.  Red Hood, who has the same dimensions as Jason.  Red Hood, who had a still healing cut on his forearm in the exact same spot as the one Jason mysteriously showed up with a few days ago.  Red Hood, who knew her roommate was a he.  Red Hood, who reminded her so much of Jason, which is why she liked him so much in the first place.  Red Hood, who was definitely flirting with her as he rescued her while she was the only one… in Jason’s aunt’s office… after saving her from someone who, thinking back, had the same dimensions and eye color as Roy…

“Oh he made an impression,” she said absentmindedly, still staring at his shoulder.

“A… um, a good one?  He did save you, right?  Heroic deeds and all?  Women love a hero,” Jason added casually.

Marinette stared at him for a few seconds, letting the pieces settle into place.  Finally, her eyes widened in realization.  “You set it up…”

Jason’s face went blank. “I… What?”

“You set it up,” Marinette repeated with more confidence.  “You… Why?”

“What are you talking about?” Jason tried desperately.

She punched him hard in the shoulder.  “Jesus! Fuck, Pixie.  That hurt.” Jason cried out as he rubbed his aching shoulder.

“Good!  What the fuck?  Why would you do that?  Were you trying to scare me?”

“No!  I was… Because… because you liked Red Hood.  I wanted you to meet him,” he said defensively.  He looked away and took a breath.  When he looked back, his voice was quieter, shakier. “You wanted Red Hood and… and I wanted you so…”

“You know, you could have just, I don’t know, popped up on the roof when I was there or showed up when I was walking home.  You didn’t have to stage a robbery!  Think about all that damage Kate has to deal with now!”

“She was remodeling anyway. She needed to demo the entire office so… two birds, you know?”  He shrugged a little too casually to be casual and flipped the onions again.

“And one bat.” He rolled his eyes at her.  “Or you could have just… said something”

“You weren’t interested in me.  You were interested in Red Hood.”

Marinette let out a long sigh.  “I was interested in Red Hood because he reminded me of you.”

His eyes widened in realization.  “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’.  And liking him seemed less emotionally damaging than destroying my relationship with you by flirting.”

“You thought I wasn’t interested?”  He looked at her incredulously.  She looked down at her feet, shuffling them awkwardly, refusing to make eye contact, almost like she was afraid of what he was going to say.  He couldn’t allow that to continue.  He turned off the stove and walked up to her slowly, careful not to scare her, just like Red Hood had earlier that day.  He gently cupped her face, softly enough that she could pull away if she wanted to.  He stroked her cheeks tenderly.  

When he finally spoke up again, his voice was loving and reverent.  “Pix, I’m head over heels.  I don’t think you even… no, I know you don’t know how much or you wouldn’t question why I tried talking to you as Red Hood instead.  I love you, Pix.  I love your heart and your humor and your sass and your passion… and your face.  I love that too.  

“And God, your smiles. I love your smile when you’re happy, which is different than your smile when you beat me at UMS, which is different than your smile when you see a little kitten, which is different than your smile when you’re thinking about home, which is different than your smile after you’ve completed a commission, which is different than your smile when I make an amazing joke that you hate.  I love them all and I just want to see any of them, all of them, every day.”

He didn’t realize how close he had gotten to Marinette’s face until he realized the gasp she let out sounded like it was right next to him.  She laid her hands over his wrists.  “Jason…”

“And I really hope I didn’t…”

“Jason!” she interrupted. He looked at her wide eyed.  She smiled reassuringly at him.  “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh God, Pixie, you can’t imagine how happy that would make me,” he smiled down at her, lowering himself so his lips were close enough for her to reach.

She grinned back up at him as she pushed herself up, her lips a few millimeters from his.  “Oh, I think I have an idea,” she whispered before closing the distance.

@jasonette-july-event @maribatserver

[bluebudgie]

10 YEARS OF GW2 – A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

Hello peeps! As a little countdown to GW2's launch anniversary on August 28 I decided to dig up some old memories and take a small look at my personal journey through the game. Each day I'll make a post about another year.

DAY 5: 2016

Ah, 2016... if someone held me at gunpoint to name the GW2 year, for me that'd be this one. So many things that happened, so many new characters created... let's continue on the nostalgia road!

As teased last time, with Heart of Thorns came my back then favourite meta event:

The Battle in Tarir. I loved the amount of coordination and communication it took to succeed. The dynamic music that changed with the battle's phases really set the atmosphere. My favourite runs were those that took the whole 20 minutes of event time and then succeeded with 8 seconds left to spare on the timer. That happened more often than you'd think.

South gate was my gate, and boy did I push that egg bomb a lot. In the rare occasion that south wasn't last to finish after 5 (or more) excruciating burn phases, it was really fun to ping pong the bomb back and forth on the entrance stairs to wait for the other lanes.

Classic.

On that note... anyone remember multiloot? Likely the most toxic I've ever seen this game in open world pve, if you've known me at the time you know I was an avid and vocal anti-multilooter. Abandoning maps to hop onto 'better' maps after one regenerating octovine was all too common, and throwing insults left and right was the norm. Probably the only time I've seen people regularly compare the game to LoL and WoW. Still, in retrospect I'm kind of nostalgic for that era.

While Tarir was probably 50% of what my playthrough tag here was about at the time, let's not linger any longer. There was something else that filled the other 50%:

Excuse the language, but spiritwood planks were 13 gold per piece.

Ah.. Nevermore. My first legendary journey and by far most memorable to this day. Alongside the grind for crafting materials, it made me complete all the Heart of Thorns maps, level all my masteries (HoT was pretty stingy with mastery points before LS3 happened so that took a bunch of effort), and get into both WvW and fractals for the first time ever.

Along the way I met other people tackling this - at the time - most challenging legendary weapon to craft (alongside HOPE and Astralaria of course), and we've bonded with strangers through missed event chains, mastery point despair, and silverwastes chest farming (RIBA wasn't a thing yet as far as I'm aware).

After several very active months of tears and joy I got my first (and best!) legendary:

I still consider this my greatest achievement in this game. Also yes, I am literally this childish, I refuse to make use of the legendary armoury for this staff. I made it for this walnut and only he gets to use it. I won't even transmute it for other characters. Everyone else gets exotic and ascended staves. Is that silly? Yes. Do I care? No. His legendary. Noone else's. Main privileges.

By the way, Nevermore anon, are you still around? I always loved reading your messages here.

2016 had a lot of "first times" for me, which included doing all fractals my girlfriend and I managed to duo...

(we were not dressed as anakin and obi-wan to reenact the episode III mustafar fight scene for a really awful epic video in the volcano fractal)

...and doing all the story dungeons together.

Inquest brainworms were planted that day.

And I also joined Tyria Pride for the first time! We marched all the way to Silverwastes and through the entire jumping puzzle that year.

You know what else happened in 2016?

The return of Super Adventure Box! Not much to say about it really, as always it was a blast.

The months went by, I spent a lot of time with all HoT metas, replayed the HoT story on different characters, still fought Tequatl a lot, announced some Crashlanding achievements at the Claw of Jormag and at some point along the way picked up a minor Tangled Depths obsession. Speaking of which, check out this screenshot:

So much going on here. No HP% on the HP bar (was that a patch thing or was that an option I hadn't activated?), 4:20 (no meme intended) minutes left on timer until the cannons are charged and the event is far from over, all gerents moving to their third phase... a blast from the past. One-phase killing all gerents who? Didn't dream of that in 2016. Also I was an Ogre lane regular, I apologize. The other lane mechanics scared me too much. Until I found out there's nothing scary about SCAR and Rata. Nuhoch without mounts is a different story.

LS3 also started in 2016! Taimi's Game is one of my all time favourite story instances. Paired with the excellent music, Taimi announcing that Jormag (my favourite elder dragon that I had been waiting for for years....) had woken up was an amazing goosebumps moment.

Alas I somehow lost a large chunk of 2016 screenshots (and with that all the story ones) so have this memory instead:

You're welcome.

If I wanted to I could probably find plenty more things that went on in 2016, but this is getting long so let's wrap it up here. Onto 2017!

Permanent additions to the character roster that year:

That's a lot of new characters in a single year. At least it's not all Sylvari this time.

Links to all posts: 2012 // 2013 // 2014 // 2015 // 2016 // 2017 // 2018 // 2019 & 2020 // 2021 // 2022