#i held onto ur ask for two months so i could post it during pride month hope u dont mind 🫰

[bidoofdaily]

Unlabeled bidoof?

[louiseleblancdiggory]

can you write something to rowaelin based on the song lost without you by freya ridings please 🥺 i love ur fanfics

This was supposed to be angst but it ended up being only a it angsty and a little fluffy? Idk, it’s quick and I think it’s cute. I would have posted earlier but I wanted my friend’s opinion first. Hope you like it!

Lost without you

--

Rowan knew he and his girlfriend were different.

He had known since the moment they had met, and every second after it.

Rowan was quiet, usually kept to himself. He liked nothing more than to study anything related to law and spend time with his girlfriend. Aelin, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. She was lively, cheerful. She was constantly dirty with paint, constantly sweaty after working with her sculptures. They had started dating in the beginning of junior year in high school, and the difference had never been something bad.

Until that Friday.

That day, as Rowan stared at his acceptance letter into Orynth College— the best college he could go to if he wanted to do pre law—, the difference weighted on him.

Weighted on him because Aelin wasn’t going with him.

She had gotten her acceptance letter the same day he had, but it had been a different one. A program, she had been offered, to travel the world and learn from some of the best artists alive. It was an extremely rare and exclusive program, and the fact that Aelin had gotten in made him so, so proud. He knew she wouldn’t—couldn’t— let it pass.

And that broke him.

Broke him because his girlfriend was going to leave for four years, and he didn’t know what to do. Neither of them liked the idea of a distance relationship, and there was only one other alternative then.

Breaking up.

Rowan loved Aelin like he had never loved anyone else, and he knew she loved him just as much. He thought it would have been easier if they didn’t love each other as much, thought it would have been easier if it was just a high school fling, but imagining his life without Aelin’s cheerfulness and mirth made his chest crack. Imagining his life not loving Aelin was brutal.

The following days had been hard. As both of them accepted the entrance, it looked like they were drifting apart more and more everyday. They tried to desperately hold onto each other, savor the last weeks together for the next four years. Rowan took her to every place they had ever been in a date, and Aelin drew hundreds of sketches of them. They tried to act like the loving couple they were, tried to joke around as if she wasn’t about to leave in two weeks. But it weighted on both of them, and they only let it show during the nights when they held onto each other so strongly sometimes it left bruising marks.

Now, standing on the platform Aelin was going to catch the train to Banjali, he wished he had held her a little while longer. She was hugging her parents and Aedion. She had already said goodbye to Lysandra, the brunette smiling at her best friend but tears rimming her green eyes.

“If you stop calling, we will hunt you down, fireheart.” Rhoe said, only half jokingly. He gave one last kiss on his daughter head and jerked his chin in Rowan’s direction.

The moment Aelin turned to him, her face crumpled a little, tears rolling down her cheeks. Wordlessly, he pulled her into a hug, peppering her head with kisses as she buried her face on his chest. “I will miss you so much, Ro.”

“I’ll miss you, too, fireheart.” He said, the words feeling too big in his tight throat. “I’ll miss you so, so much.”

“I’ll come back, you know? In four years.” She sniffled. Face still on his chest. “And I would never ask you to wait for me, but please don’t forget me. Or treat me like a stranger when I come back.”

“I would never, Ace.” He said and she cried harder. Aelin had always been close to her family and to Rowan and Lysandra. To be letting all of them go at the same time must have been brutal for her. Rowan wished he could do something, make her feel better in some way. But he also knew Aelin was strong and even though she was hurt right now, she would be happy eventually.

“I would stay. If you asked me, I would stay.” She said quickly through the tears. Rowan’s chest constricted, and a selfish part of him wanted to ask. Wanted it so bad. He wanted to have his girlfriend in the same college as him, doing all college shit together. He didn’t want things to change, and he knew that in that moment, if he asked, she would stay.

But he also knew that she was saying that because it was hurting, and also knew she would regret it later. And she wouldn’t regret Rowan, but herself. And Rowan wouldn’t be able to live seeing her regret the past everyday because he had been selfish.

“Do you wanna see the world, Ace?” He asked softly, his voice not that sad anymore.

She raised her face to look at him. It was pinkish, a few strands of her golden hair stuck on her cheeks because of her crying. Gently and smiling, Rowan rubbed his thumbs on her cheeks, taking away the strands. She closed her eyes, savoring his touch. Even crying, Aelin was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“I want to see the world.” She said opening her turquoise and gold eyes, voice firm.

“Then go.” He smiled at her again, leaving her embrace. She smiled sadly at him, but five minutes later she raised her chin, puffed her chest and got into the train.

And then she left, Rowan watching her go to conquer her dreams. The whole world if she wished.

And Rowan felt so, so lost in that instant.

————————

It had hurt like a bitch.

Rowan had never felt so lonely and cold. Had never felt so lost without her.

Aelin was a walking flame, burning wherever she went. And now that she had left, Rowan realized how used he had gotten to her presence, how much he loved her.

Much more than he had realized before.

Rhoe put an arm around his shoulders, taking Rowan away from the platform. Rowan was glad Rhoe was there as they walked home. If not, Rowan might have bumped into so many pedestrians, normal people just wanting to go home to their own lives, completely unaware of the girl who had left minutes ago in a train.

“She’ll come back.” Evalin, Aelin’s mom, said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“And she’ll be pissed if you spend four years single and moping.” Aedion muttered, and Rowan scoffed.

“I know that too.”

When Rhoe and Evelin dropped him off at home, he went straight to his room. His fingers itched to call her, but they had agreed that for their break up to be effective, they had to distance themselves a little, at least in the beginning.

He just stared at his ceiling. And stared, and stared and stared.

He loved her so much, and missed her just the same. Rowan knew he was in love with Ace, but missing her made him realize just how much.

He had been quiet and sad for the next few days. A little bit better the next week.

And slowly, Rowan learned how to live without her.

He would go out, he would laugh and joke with his friends. He busted his ass off studying for the next four years, always thinking about the LSAT.

He went on a few dates. Dated a girl named Lyria for a few months, a girl named Remelle for a few weeks.

Even when his life was back at normal, when it had been years since Aelin had left, a part of him still held on to that love he had felt when they were younger. It was hidden in the deep of his mind, a dormant part of it. He would think of her from time to time, smile at their memories and even feel a pang of sadness, but it didn’t feel like it was going to consume him.

Rowan had never forgotten her, and she made sure of it. They didn’t call, not once in four years, and she had never come to visit. But to every city Aelin went, to every beautiful place she visited, she would sketch a small postcard and send it to him. Never with a message, no pictures of her or whatever she was working on. Just the sketches and the name of the place in the back.

A reminder. She hadn’t forgotten him either.

By now, Rowan had hundreds of sketches, all inside a box under his bed. He would sometimes look through them, seeing how her drawing was improving. He remembered that sculpting had always been her area of expertise, and to see her drawings become so flawless made his chest burst in pride. He would smile every time a new handmade postcard arrived, and would eagerly wait for the next one.

Rowan would have never forgotten Aelin, even if she disappeared for ten years and didn’t give him any news.

But he had to admit, he loved to know that she was thinking of him from time to time, too.

—————————

“Rowan Whitethorn, future lawyer.” Aedion smiled, clapping his best friend on his shoulder. “Sounds rather adult-y, doesn’t it?”

Rowan laughed, taking off his green cap. Today had been their graduation day, all his friends receiving their diplomas in different areas. Some of them were ready to go to work, like Lorcan and Vaughan. But he was going to law school now, the same way Fenrys and Aedon were going to med school.

“We are adults, Aedion.”

“Don’t you ever repeat those cursed words!” He said, and Rowan laughed again. “I have the soul of a dumb eighteen year old. Forever. End of story.”

“I’m sure Lysandra is delighted by the fact.” Lorcan said, and Rowan almost laughed at the vision of his friend. It was probably the first time Rowan had seen Lorcan in something that wasn’t black, and bright green and silver silk weren’t really his thing.

“Even if he acted like an adult, Lysandra would still be miserable.” Fenrys added, a smile on his lips as Aedion tried to smack him. Vaughan and Connall only shook their heads, laughing quietly.

“Ok, ok. Now the present for the grad.” Aedion said, and all of them turned to Rowan, almost scary smiles on their faces.

“We already gave out presents. And they were terrible, by the way.” Rowan said, confused. “Who the fuck needs a bright red silk underwear, Fenrys?”

Fenrys smile became more sarcastic as the others laughed. “I thought it would bring out the green in your eyes, Roro.”

“I don’t want any more presents from the five of you.” Rowan said, almost pleading.

All their smiles widened further, even Lorcan’s. Fenrys was almost hopping on his feet. Aedion was the one with the biggest smile, excitement almost pouring off of him.

“It’s not our present.” Aedion replied, and his blue eyes shifted for something over Rowan’s shoulder.

Rowan’s brows furrowed and he turned around.

The sight almost made him drop to his knees. There, standing in a plain spaghetti strap black top, tight dark jeans hugging every curve and black heels, was the girl who remained the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Thick golden blonde hair falling in waves until her waist, creamy white skin tanned from her years of travel, pinkish full lips pulled into a huge smile and turquoise and gold eyes gleaming with mirth.

Aelin winked at him, and Rowan’s mouth pulled into an equally big smile.

She held up her fingers, a handmade postcard with the word home in it between them. She flicked her wrist, showing the other side with a sketch of Orynth. “I thought it would be better if I gave this one in person.”

Rowan laughed with so much happiness as he walked back to Aelin.

And Rowan felt as if he had found himself in that instant.

Tags:

@abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass @lexflame

[muffindragon227]

I’ll Keep Your Secrets Safe - Ch. 18

AN: Okay, so chapter 19 is written and will be posted on time! I want to give a big thank you to @celestialcontrail for our little chats because they inspired an edit for this chapter that fleshes a lot more out.

Mered is back next chapter! There's a small excerpt under the #IKYSS tag if anyone's interested. Also my birthday is coming up at the end of the month (27th), and that means I'm gonna be pretty busy with family and life over the next few weeks so Chapter 20 is going to be pushed back an extra two weeks so that I have time to do a good job on in, but I promise that the last scene will make it worth the wait. It will be posted on March 24.

                                                Chapter 18: Falling

"What the hell happened to this place?" Gajeel demanded, as he gazed around the foyer. His head moved back and forth between the living room and the den taking in the mishmash of decorations.

"Gajeel!" Levy elbowed him as she shot him a reproachful look.

"What? It's like a tornado picked up all the decorations from Walmart and then unleashed them on the house.

Juvia giggled, and took the pizza boxes from Gajeel's hands, allowing him to take off his coat and boots. "Don't ask, there was a bit of a disagreement on decorating styles." She handed the boxes to Silver, who proceeded to carry them into the living room where Natsu and Lucy were already waiting.

To say that the vote hadn't gone as expected, would be an understatement. Ultear had sided with Lyon, and Silver sided with Gray. Ur had refused to choose, stating she liked both styles; and Juvia had refused to vote because she didn't care for decorating in the first place.

The tie lead to Natsu and Lucy being called, only to have their votes split as well, and in the end the whole house had been divided for decorating. Of course, that hadn't stopped the competition, much to Ur's annoyance.

As soon as Gajeel and Levy had gotten their coats and boots off Lyon and Gray were all over them.

"Okay, before you go eat you need to come vote," Lyon demanded, ushering them both towards the den.

"Hello to you too," Gajeel huffed as he was practically shoved before the tree by Gray.

Levy raised an eyebrow. "Voting on what?"

"Decorating styles of course," Lyon answered as he gestured towards their tree with pride.

"That thing is hideous," Gajeel said, sneering at the gaudy monstrosity before him.

"Ha, don't we know it," Ultear said, coming up behind them, nursing a fresh glass of wine.

Both Gray and Lyon shot her a glare.

"You're not supposed to look at it as a whole," Gray explained, stepping in front of Lyon's side of the tree. "Just one side at a time, let start with mine."

Lyon barely gave them a minute before moving Gray over to show off his own side, both of them staring expectantly at their new guests.

"Uh, I kinda like Lyon's," Levy replied, biting her lip and shooting Gray and apologetic glance.

Gajeel stared at the tree a while longer. "Gray's is less painful to look at."

Both boys groaned, and Ultear cackled. "Looks like no one's winning after all."

"Nope," Juvia said, finally stepping up beside Gajeel and giving him a light shoulder check as greeting. "Hey."

"Yo." He stared down at her for a moment before slinging an arm over her shoulder and giving her a half hug. "Sorry we couldn't be here earlier."

Juvia shrugged and smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "It's okay. I've actually been pretty good today."

Gajeel eyed her suspiciously, but after a moment he nodded. "You look happy."

Juvia blushed and smiled, ducking her head against his shoulder.

"Okay, I can't take this, Juvia you have to vote. You're the only one who hasn't," Lyon pleaded, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Uh, Mom didn't vote," Ultear pointed out.

"Mom's never going to pick," Gray said, fixing Juvia with a look as well, "but you should. Really, neither of us will be offended, promise."

Lucy appeared from behind them with a frown on her face and Natsu in tow. "Uh, doesn't Lyon have a bit of an unfair advantage? I mean Juvia's his girlfriend, she's bias towards him."

"That won't be why Juvia votes for my style," Lyon said, grinning at her. "It'll be because I've earned it."

Gray snorted. "I trust her not to be bias, besides, it was my favourite house she was admiring yesterday. I'm pretty sure I've got this in the bag and she's just trying to spare your feelings."

"Well you'd be wrong," Lyon said, and shot him a glare. He turned to Juvia. "Come on, Juv's. You gotta settle this."

Juvia sighed and slipped from Gajeel's side to stand before the tree, looking contemplative. "If I do this you both promise to accept my decision?"

"Of course," Lyon declared.

"For sure," Gray nodded.

"And you won't bother me about it any more?"

"Yep," "Yes." They answered in unison.

Juvia sighed, and continued to stare at the tree. Silence fell around her and she could feel the tension coming from Gray and Lyon.

"Well, if I had to choose, I'd say my preference would be," she paused, and bit down on her inner cheek as Lyon held his breath and Gray twitched. She was drawing it out and both of them knew it. "The way it was before."

The was a pregnant pause as everyone processed what she said.

"What!" "That's not an answer!" Lyon and Gray shouted over each other.

"Gihihi, sure it is!" Gajeel howled, clapping Juvia on the back.

Natsu was laughing as well, and Ultear placed her hand on Juvia's shoulder as she grinned. "She played you both!"

"That's not fair!" Lyon cried. "Juvia, you have to give us a real answer!"

Juvia shrugged. "I did give you a real answer, and you both promised that would be the end of it."

"But-" Gray tried to protest.

"No buts. You don't like it, go bug your Mom for an answer. That's my preference." Juvia smirked.

"You're evil," Gray muttered.

"Cruel woman. I'll remember this the next time you want a foot rub," Lyon threatened.

Juvia shook her head. "Come on, let's eat I'm starving."

"Yeah! Finally!" Natsu shouted, and bounded back into the living room.

Lucy followed, at a quick trot. "Natsu! You better not take too much, other people need to eat too!"

Juvia grinned and headed towards the living room as well, Gajeel fell into step alongside her. "It's good to see you smiling."

Juvia nodded and looked up at him. "It's been good. Talking to people, and having them support me. It feels good, kinda like having a family again."

Lyon threw his arms around her neck and pressed himself against her back, causing them both to stumble forward into the hallway before righting themselves. "That's because you do."

Gray and Ultear were quick to pile themselves onto the hug and all four of them ended up crash landing on the floor in a tangle of limbs in the foyer.

Silver smiled down at her from living room. "Yep, you're stuck with us now kid."

"Gihihi, serves ya right. This is payback for you clamping onto me when I was kicking Natsu's ass," Gajeel said.

"Ow, Tear your knee is digging into my back," Lyon whined, squirming above Juvia, in an attempt to free himself.

"Deal with it, I'm hugging Juvia," Ultear bit back, while tightening her hold on the two of them.

"I appreciate the love and stuff, but it's getting hard to breathe," Juvia wheezed.

Gray and Ultear were quick to move, offering her halfhearted apologies. Lyon was a little slower in getting up, complaining all the way about being crushed and how much his siblings weighed.

Juvia couldn't help but smile up at all of them. Gajeel held out his hand, and hauled her to her feet, grinning back at her.

"Alright, come on, food's getting cold!" Silver called out. "And we've got a marathon of Hitchcock movies to watch."

All three siblings groaned, but none of them truly looked unhappy, as the ushered Juvia into the living room.

As she settled onto the couch between Lyon and Gajeel she smile, taking in the sight of so many people.

She'd never in a million years, have thought she'd end up with this kind of support and love. She never thought she'd have a real family again. She felt the tears prick her eyes, and for once knew they weren't because she was sad. For the first time in six years she felt safe, and loved, and hopeful.

Lyon tugged his pyjama pants up and over his boxers, and sat down on the side of the bed. He could hear Juvia shuffling behind him and made sure to keep his eyes trained on his dresser out of respect. It didn't matter to him, but he knew she was self conscious so he did his best to respect her wishes and make sure she was comfortable.

He smiled, thinking back over the day. It had started out stressful, but he had to admit it ended up being one of the best day's they'd had since getting here. He felt a lot of pride over how happy and at ease Juvia had been with his family; and how loving and accommodating they'd been to her. It was nice, and he wanted her to continue to have that. The more he thought about it, and the more he watched her today, the more he realized how much those things had been missing from her life.

When she'd told him about her adoptive parents, it had broken his heart. Even though he could understand Matthew's issues with keeping her, he found himself hating the man. Lyon couldn't imagine either of his parents giving any of his siblings up, and he couldn't believe that someone could just abandon Juvia like that.

He let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and dropped back onto the bed with a thud. The mattress creaked in protest.

"Hey. No peeking," Juvia grumbled.

"I'm not," Lyon said, and scrunched his eyes together tighter to proving his point.

Juvia huffed, but stayed quiet, and he took it as permission to remain where he was.

His mind wandered from Matthew to the much more current male problem in her life. He knew it wasn't any of his business, and he believed her when she said that nothing happened, but the idea of her sleeping with Gray, even in the platonic sense, still bothered him. Gray wasn't the type to pass out during a movie, which meant that he'd made the conscious decision not to wake Juvia and to fall asleep next to her.

"I'm decent, you can open your eyes," Juvia told him.

Lyon let his eyes flutter open and winced at the light, before tilting his head back to look at Juvia. She was standing in front of the mirror brushing her hair, and Lyon waited for her to come join him.

She finally set the brush down on the bedside table, and Lyon sat up, and shifted himself under the covers, flipping hers back in the process. Juvia stood there, eyeing the space, but made no move to join him and Lyon's heart dropped to his stomach.

"I'm not really tired yet, I was thinking I might go make myself a cup of tea," she mumbled, unable to look him in the eye as she said it.

Lyon frowned. "You mean you think you're gonna head back downstairs, and stay there."

Juvia flinched at the bluntness of his words, but she made no move to deny them.

Lyon took a deep breath, debating whether he ought to voice his thoughts. She'd been having a good day, and he'd hate to ruin that now, but at the same time he couldn't just sit back and ignore his concern for her. "Look, about last night…. I believe you when you said nothing happened, and I get that you went down cause you had a nightmare, but what exactly went on between you two? How'd you end up cuddled together on the same couch?"

Juvia sat down on the edge of the bed and met his gaze. "I told you, I came down upset. He took me into the kitchen and made me hot chocolate and ice cream, like his mom used to. Then I told him about the whole tradition that Matthew started. I think he just wanted to replicate that; make me feel safe the way Matthew had."

Lyon's gut twisted, and a wave of jealousy washed over him. He hated the idea that she'd told Gray about that before him. He knew it was ridiculous and petty, but he couldn't help it.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Juvia asked.

"Because Gray's not the type to dote on someone for no reason."

"So?"

"So, you're getting too close to him. You're letting your feelings cloud your judgement and you're gonna get hurt and it's gonna undo everything."

Juvia frown. "Lyon you're being dramatic."

"No I'm not. You've known him for six days, and already you've told him more about you than you've told me in two years. Two years, Juvia." Lyon stared at her.

That was the crux of it. It wasn't Gray's concern and attention, it was Juvia's. It was the way she trusted Gray, and cared about his feelings, and felt the need to explain herself to him. It was the way she said Lyon was her best friend, that she love him, but she never once opened up to him. He'd told her everything, trusted her more than anyone else, and yet it was Gray she went to last night. "Why?"

Juvia bit her lip and averted her gaze. "I don't…."

She stopped herself and glared down at his sheets, before taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze. "Because I was afraid you'd hate me."

"That's insane. Why would I hate you? Because your parents died? Because Matthew and Carol couldn't keep you?"

"No," Juvia snapped. "No you don't- Not because of what happened, because of how I feel."

Lyon frowned and shifted to face her full on. There were tears gathering in her eyes and her hands were balled into fists at her side.

"I'm so angry," she sobbed.

"Of course you'd be angry, anyone would be," Lyon said, reaching out to take her hand.

Juvia shook her head. "No, you don't get it. I'm still so angry. You've talked so much about Gray, and what he was like, and how he acted and didn't care about anyone, and I just…. I'm no different."

"Don't be ridiculous you're not-"

"Yes, yes I am. I was goading Bacchus and his friends on at the mall. I wanted a fight, I wanted to hit them. I just needed him to take the first swing." She looked up at him, eyes wet with unshed tears. "You get so frustrated sometimes, when I start arguing with people. You're constantly saying I need to calm down, but you don't get it… that is me being calm."

"Juvia…." Lyon reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight to his chest.

She didn't resist, instead curling into the embrace and wrapping her arms tight around him in return.

"I don't hate you," he whispered against the crown of her head. "I could never hate you."

"You hate Gray."

Lyon sighed. "That's different."

"No it's not," Juvia said.

"Yes, it is." Lyon grabbed her by the shoulders and held her back so he could look her in the eyes. "Sure, Gray's anger and his selfish behaviour bothered me, but I put up with it for years, believing that we were family. A part of me always knew he didn't mean it. Just like you and Gajeel know you've got each other's backs, right?"

Juvia nodded.

"I only started taking it personally when I realized Gray didn't actually feel that way. He lived here for five years, and he still only saw me as an outsider and a threat. It made me so mad, cause all that time I told myself he cared. That deep down, he wanted to be a family but was too scared of losing us to drop his guard." Lyon sighed and collapsed against the headboard, his head hitting the wall with a dull thunk. "I know everyone thinks I'm this bitter asshole, but I don't care. I'm not making that mistake again."

Juvia reached out and threaded her fingers through his. "So, what you're saying is, you don't hate him. You're just scared of getting hurt."

Lyon frowned. He wanted to tell her no. He wanted to say that he hated Gray, and that Gray was an asshole who only cared about himself, but he held back.

When he looked at it from her perspective, he could kinda see the similarities between her and Gray. So what made them different? Why was it that he loved her, and loathed Gray?

"Sort of. I just- I can't trust Gray. You're different from him because I know you'd never intentionally do something to hurt me."

Juvia sighed. "I'm sorry. Deep down I know that. I should have just talked to you, but every time you'd complain about Gray; the way you'd talk about him and the thing's he's done…. I just couldn't help but feel like a fraud. I've done horrible, selfish things. I've hurt people, and not always with a good reason."

She paused and looked him in the eye and Lyon gave her hand a squeeze, urging her to keep going. "I guess part of me was ashamed, and wanted to forget it all. Margaret Town was my chance to do that, leave it all behind, only I couldn't. That scared me more than anything."

"I wish you would have just talked to me. I've told you everything, even the really embarrassing stuff, and all this time I thought you trusted me too. That I was special to you too."

"You are, and I've wanted to talk to you so many times, but I- I couldn't."

"But you can talk to Gray."

Juvia winced at the bitterness in his voice. "It's not like he's got some moral high ground to judge me from."

"And I do?"

Juvia stared back at him pointedly.

Lyon bit his lip. "Do I really come off that way?"

"Sometimes," Juvia said with a shrug.

Lyon threaded his free hand through his hair and tugged at the ends. He'd never meant to make her feel judged.

uvia took a deep breath. "Look, I know I should have talked to you, and I am sorry I let my fears get the best of me. But, just because I told Gray first, doesn't mean you've stopped being my best friend, or that you're less important to me. I like being able to be the one you confide in. I like that I can trust you to watch out for me when we're out clubbing, and you're still a way better karaoke partner than Gajeel."

She flashed him a smile, and squeezed his hand again, before curling back up against him. "Nothing's gonna change that."

Lyon sighed and wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight to him. He shouldn't have needed to hear those words, but after everything they'd been through they filled him with a sense of relief. It didn't fix everything, clearly their friendship was a lot more one sided than he'd thought, but they could work on that. He could work on that.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Juvia broke the silence. "Lyon, you don't think Gray's trying to hurt you by going after me, right?"

Lyon shook his head. "No. Gray's an ass, but he doesn't get caught up in drama like that." Lyon scoffed. "You know, he was actually pretty pissed at Sherry when she cheated on me."

Juvia frowned. "He was?"

"Well, they always hated each other, but still… I think that was the first time he'd ever shown any concern for the shit going on it my life. I guess I gotta give him some credit on that front, he never went after a girl who was with someone, no matter how hard they tried."

"Oh, well, that's good."

"Mhmm," Lyon hummed, then frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Juvia said.

He didn't buy it. There was something he was missing; something that was going on that Juvia hadn't told him that explained Gray's attentiveness. Gray wasn't the type to just willingly comfort upset women; not when he didn't have to.

"Juvia, is there something going on with you two? He's been super attentive towards you, and I'm not saying you don't deserve it, but Gray's not the type to dote on someone. Not unless he was getting something out of it."

Juvia bit her lip, and averted her gaze, and Lyon knew he'd hit some kind of nerve. He fixed her with a hard stare, and she squirmed under the scrutiny. He didn't want to keep pushing, but he wanted her to know he wasn't going to drop it.

Finally she sighed, and glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. "He probably just feels grateful because I've been giving him advice to try and mend his relationship with you."

Lyon froze and felt a flash of anger run through him. "I'm sorry, you've what?"

Juvia sighed and shot him a pleading look. "Look, I know you've been through alot with Gray, and you have a lot of valid reasons to be upset with him, but he wants to make amends for all of it. And maybe I'm completely off in left field but I believe him." Juvia grabbed his hand, and locked eyes with him. "I know that, no matter how much you want to deny it, deep down you still care about him. I know that the rift between you two bothers you. You hate that it's there; and more than anything that's what's hurting you."

Lyon pulled his hand from hers and glared at her. "There are a lot of things that have happened that can't just be undone with the wave of a magic wand."

"I know that. I've told him that. I've told him that it's going to take a lot of time, and effort, and patience if he actually wants to fix everything." Juvia said, and crossed her arms beneath her chest. "I've also told him that he's gotta put up with a lot of resistance too, because you're being particularly stubborn."

"I have every right to be," Lyon snapped back, feeling incensed. She knew all about his history with Gray, and now all of a sudden she wanted him to forget about that? To just let it go?

"You do," she said with a sigh. She twist around and leaned back against the headboard and pulling her knees up to her chest. She stared down at the blanket, her fingers tracing small patterns across it.

Lyon watched her. He felt a bit guilty for snapping, he knew she was only trying to help, but why she felt the need to meddle in his relationship with Gray, he couldn't understand.

Sure, there was a part of him that wished things could be different between him and Gray, but they couldn't erase the past. And he didn't want Gray to think that it would all be okay with an apology, because that wasn't happening.

"I know you've been hurt by Gray, and by his friends, and you'd be completely within your rights to never forgive any of them," Juvia said, meeting his gaze with hers.

Lyon held her gaze and his breath, sensing there was more to that statement than just an affirmation.

"But if you ever want a relationship with Gray, and maybe that's a big if, but if you do; you're eventually going to have to decide that Gray deserves your forgiveness, because nothing Gray does or says is going to earn that."

Lyon frowned, not quite following her. He felt like he agreed with the last part, but if Gray couldn't earn his forgiveness why would he choose to forgive him?

"Lyon," Juvia started, taking his hand once again, "Gray can't erase the past. He can only prove that he's grown and learned from it, and that he doesn't want to repeat his mistakes, and I think he's made that pretty clear to you. But it's up to you to decide if who Gray is now, is someone you want a relationship with."

Lyon stared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in before sighing and resting his head against the wall, and closed his eyes.

The bed creaked as Juvia shuffled closer, and curled up against his side. Her fingers brushed against his stomach tracing patterns, and Lyon focused on the feeling of it, using it to ground himself and clear his head of the bitter feeling that weighed on him.

He didn't want to admit it, but, at least in the last couple days, Gray had seemed different. Gray had been changing even as Lyon remained stuck in their old habits. Gray had been trying harder not to get into fights with him, and also trying to spend more time with him. It was weird to think that Gray had matured, but Lyon constantly forgot that two years had gone by. A lot had changed with his family.

Lyon sighed. "I think I hate it when you're right, and it doesn't fall in my favour."

"Most people do," Juvia giggled.

Lyon shifted so he could look her in the eye. "I'm pretty sleepy, so I'm gonna call it a night, but you should go make yourself that cup of tea. Maybe watch another movie or two."

Juvia's eyes widened and a smile broke out on her face as she tackled him in a tight hug.

He grunted with the force, but hugged her back all the same. His stomach twisted itself in knots, over how happy she looked. He held her a little tighter. He didn't want to admit it, but he was pretty sure Juvia was falling for Gray.

Juvia practically skipped down the stairs, feeling elated over her talk with Lyon. It was good to finally be honest with him about how she was spending with Gray. A small part of her mind nagged at her though, not everything he said added up.

Her feet hit the floor and she paused. His reactions to Sherry and his actions Wednesday night seemed at odds with Lyon's perceptions. Not that it would be the first time Lyon was off the mark when it came to Gray, but usually he fell on the more critical side of things.

What could have changed to make him see Sherry's indiscretion in a different light?

Her heart fluttered as she remembered the feel of his lips against her neck. Her hand reached up to ghost over the place where he'd kissed her. Lyon had said Gray wasn't the type to go after a girl that was taken, and yet...

Juvia smiled swung herself into the doorway of the living room greeting Gray with a brilliant grin. "Hey, you cool with some company?"

Gray hit a button on the remote, and the movie paused, before he turned and stared at her; clearly perplexed by the question. Or maybe by her overly cheerful demeanour. "Uh yeah, of course… but weren't you getting ready to go to bed?"

"I was," Juvia said with a nod, "but, I mean, I'm not tired, and I keep doing this every night. I'll go upstairs with Lyon, and we'll go to bed and I'll lay there for the longest time, and then eventually I'll give up, and come downstairs anyways, so I thought… why not skip the whole lying awake with nothing to do part."

"Makes sense," Gray said, and his eyes darted in the direction of the stairs and Lyon's room, "So he knows you're down here? With me?"

Juvia nodded slowly, with her eyebrows raised. "Yeah..."

"And he's okay with that?" He fixed her with a disbelieving look, as though she'd just told him the sky was green.

"He seemed to be."

"And you're sure of that? Cause things have been pretty rocky with him and I, and while today seemed better, I don't think he's forgotten that he's pissed off at me," Gray explained, running a hand through his hair and tugging at it. "And given all our previous interactions I really don't think he's cool with us hanging out alone."

Juvia sighed, finally understanding the source of Gray's apprehension. She padded across the living room and flopped onto the couch about a foot away from him, and shrugged as she glanced over at him. "Well, I did talk to him about the whole thing going on between you two, and I told him that I've been trying to help you fix things between the two of you."

Gray winced, and looked at her like he swallowed a mouthful of limes.

"He didn't take it that badly. I mean, he wasn't thrilled with me telling him that I thought he was being too hard on you, but he heard me out. I told him that he needed to decide whether or not he was willing to give you a chance, because you are trying. I told him you've changed, and you want to fix things, but that none of that's gonna mean anything if he's not willing to let the past go at some point," Juvia explained, before looking over at Gray.

He stared at her in awe, before a small little smile crept onto his lips. "Thank you, for saying all that."

"Don't thank me yet, he only said he'd think about it, but it's a step in the right direction."

Gray looked her dead in the eye. "No, seriously, thank you. No one else would have talked to him like that for me, or bothered to talk to me about him. Especially not anyone close to him, and I just… It's cool. You kinda rock."

Juvia blushed and averted her gaze. "It's no problem, I'm happy to help you two."

She took a deep breath and prayed that the heat on her face would subside and that the blush wasn't as bad as it felt. She was pretty sure she was the colour of a tomato. In an attempt to distract herself she turned to face the TV, finding it paused on a close up of Bruce Willis' face.

"So, what are we watching?"

"Only the best Christmas movies of all time."

She turned her head towards him and quirked an eyebrow up in question.

He grinned down at her like a little kid. "Die hard. And then Die Hard 2."

"Neither of those sound like Christmas movies," Juvia said, eyeing him suspiciously. She knew he was a big christmas lover, so it could be deceiving.

"They take place during Christmas, it counts," he replied with a shrug.

Juvia nodded and smiled. She could do action movies. She reached out and grabbed the half eaten bowl of popcorn off the coffee table and turned her back to Gray before shifting herself back, so she was positioned between his legs, and leaned back into him.

Gray tensed, and Juvia looked up at him, only to find his whole face had gone a brilliant shade of lobster. "Umm, is this not okay?" She was already sitting back up, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"Uh, n-no, it's fine," Gray choked out and Juvia paused frowning at him.

It didn't sound fine, though she couldn't see how it was any different than the night before.

Gray sat forward as well, and fished one of the throw pillows out from behind him, and placed it on his stomach before leaning back, and wrapping an arm around her to pull her back with him, letting out a relieved breath. "That's better."

She gave him another odd look before deciding not to question him and relaxed. His arms reached around and dropped across her stomach and his chin rested on her shoulder as he pressed the play button, restarting the movie.

"So, just to catch you up, that's John McClane, and he's at his wife's Christmas party, it's Christmas eve, and they're separated, but he came there to see her anyways and is trying to patch up his marriage," Gray murmured in her ear, eyes trained on the TV.

Juvia nodded her understanding and blushed over him being so close. She was pretty sure that if Lyon came down right now to check on her he'd pitch a fit, and tell her this was definitely not nothing.

The truth was she didn't want it to be nothing. She knew it had to be, but it was nice being able to pretend, even if it was just for a little bit. It was silly, but after three months of nothing it was nice feeling desire, and intimacy, and for the time being she was going to enjoy it.