#i heard u had zero drafts

[packagecfgirlyevil-a]

Parker sighs, sitting on her own coffee table as she motions for him to sit on her couch so she can clean up his wounds, her fingers soft against his cheek as she does. It's a familiar scenario, the two of them sitting like this, and for a moment she lets the words sink between them.

"You don't need to get a place, you know you're always welcome here," she reminds him, crossing her legs under her as she finishes up, brushing his hair back lightly as she makes herself comfortable. "What brought this on?" She knows she's always kept her feelings close to the vest, forcing him to be the vulnerable one while she holds her cards, but it seems impossible, for him to feel the same she does. "Did you two fight? Does she know you're here?"

He flinches slightly when she brushes his face but still revels in the touch. "Doesn't matter. I deserved it, I was acting like a jack ass." Which was true. It was a miracle he just got put on the bench and didn't get a suspension from the league. It was his latest stint on his road to self destruction.

Except that wasn't why he was at her door. Dallas wasn't at her door because he wanted to ruin his marriage, he was at her door because he needed something real. "I mean it, Parker. I'm not going back home. I dunno I'll get a place in the city, but I'm done."

[ljandersen]

hey girl im back again i think abt sideways like evry single day pls pls pls when r u releasing the next update 😞

Hello again! Thanks for checking in.

Unfortunately, I don't have much of an update. I'm still working on my original sci fi series. It's my top priority. I'm almost done with the first book and then I will be focused on posting it.

That said, "Sideways" is always on my mind and heart. It means a great deal to me, and I'm incredibly flattered that you think about it too.

I wish I had better news for where Part 5 stood in the pipeline, but to tide you over, here's an excerpt from it. I opened the fire-proof safe and dragged out the notebooks just for you!

This is from "Sideways" Part 5. I typed it up from the handwritten rough draft. There are no guarantee that it will be close to the final version or that it won't be cut in editing. But, here you go!

“And after that, you’ll be back in this other timeline, hmm?” Dr. Quigley reached for the bishop and then paused.  He picked up his tower instead.

The med bay lights always felt extra bright reflecting off the room’s metal surfaces.  Shepard squinted at the chessboard on Quigley’s desk.  A bold move.  Too bold.  She had to not be seeing something here.

“You must be good chums with Alenko in this other life?”

“Quite chummy.  You’re really buying this story I’m telling you?”

“Naturally.”  Quigley rested back in his chair and steeped his hands in front of him.  “My most recent head scans for you are a little outdated though.  And I do need to inventory the narcs.”

“Not all mental illness is anatomical.”  Shepard vacillated with her queen.  Two good choices.

“I’m glad you’re giving me more doctor’s advice.  We needed this workshop.”

“So,” Shepard said lightly, keeping her eyes on the board.  “How’d Kaidan take the news?  You told him about the . .. permanent damage.”  Whatever medical consequences there were to his Red Death, the doctor had hinted at but refused to tell her.

She set the queen on the black square near his tower.  Slowly lifting each finger off, she leaned back in her chair. 

Quigley snatched her queen up with his rook.

“Dammit.”  She was losing her touch.  Or maybe just her concentration.  “You can answer my question though, right?  I’m not asking what you told him, just the reaction.”

“I don’t see much purpose sharing that.”  Quigley dropped her queen beside the board. He made a prompting motion for her to continue.

She gave up any pretense and looked Quigley in the eye.  “Was he all right?”

“Seems to be, doesn’t he?” Quigley nodded at the mess hall over her shoulder. 

Kaidan stood at the coffee machine, trapped between Cortez and Allison, listening to one of Adam’s tales, replete with exuberant hand motions.  Allison seemed to be the only one not anticipating the laugh beats.

Shepard sighed. “Hell. You’re right.  I’m being nosey.”

“I'm already sold on you being another Shepard.  Saying ‘you’re right’ is just overkill.”

The med bay doors slid open with a hiss air.  Cicero cut a clean figure in a well-pressed uniform and pressed-lipped smile.

“Here for medical treatment?” Shepard asked.

He wasn’t, of course.  His eyes had zeroed directly on her the moment his squeaky boots hit the threshold.

“I am to understand that you deserve congratulations.”  Cicero meandered slowly along the counter toward them.

“I don’t think so. The doc’s beat me.  Just took my queen.”

“Ah, that delightful humor.”  Cicero tapped a tray of scalpels as he passed it.  “Those have water stains.”

“Oh, dear.”  Quigley clutched his chest.  “I wondered what killed my last patient.”

Cicero ran his hand under the edge of the cabinets and examined it with rubbing fingers.  “This whole bay could use a thorough clean.”

“No objection here.”  Quigley shrugged.

“Anyway.”  Cicero ambled to the desk.  “You’re acting counselor or so I heard on ANN.“

“Forgot my tiara and sash downstairs, but yes, you heard right.”

“Congratulations then.  I’d share a glass of wine with you, but it’s been adulterated.  The antichrist must be aboard. Rather than water to wine, it appears wines can become water.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he was,” she said simply.  

“Regardless, a handshake will have to do.”

“Not even that is necessary,” she said begrudgingly, but shook his proffered hand. 

She checked her palm after drawing back.  There hadn’t been a noticeable sting, but she’d been fooled before with a handshake.  Nothing seemed amiss though.  He was trying to unsettle her with his politeness.

“I suppose the late Councilor Wilson would be grateful seeing you take bat.  He had grown rather close to you and Alenko.  That is, before the end.”

“Uh huh.”  Shepard’s blood pumped.  “If you give me a ‘God rest his soul,’ Cicero, I swear . . .”

“Swear what?  I think it’s well-established that attacking me, at least publicly, is not a route without consequence.”

Shepard lurched to her feet, knocking chess pieces over on the desk.  “Thanks for the handshake and veiled threat.  I’ll see myself out.”

“Ah, ah.  Not so fast.”  Cicero caught her elbow then quickly let go.  “Though my wine’s off the menu, I would be pleased if you’d join me in my cabin for conversation.”

“I’d rather be waterboarded.”  She shot toward the door.

“So sure?  Well, that is a shame.  There’s something you may like to hear.”

Her feet caught. 

She urged herself toward the door, even lifted a hesitant hand to the open button.  She should have taken Kaidan’s advice the first time.  Nothing good ever came out of a conversation alone with Cicero.

“About what?” She couldn’t help herself.

“Dr. T’Soni.”

Shepard’s gut twisted. 

“Well, if you change your mind, you know the floor number.”  He strolled around her.

Frozen in place, she could only watch his retreating back.  He cast a thin smile over his shoulder before disappearing through the door.

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

🪀- Do they like to do activities they did as a kid? What feels nostalgic to them

🤯- How did they feel when they first learned about regression?

For jumin!!! Also this is a 🎟 free ticket to talk about anything u want regarding him in this ask on top of the 2 questions!!!! Muah♡

ACTUALLY this is so embarrassing but I think you see a bit of younger Jumin in the bad after ending and I HAVE NOT PLAYED IT WAAAAA so. If anything from there is Relevant please tell me about it but also be niceys about it !!!!

🪀

Jumin SAYS that his father was always good to him and that he had a good childhood but. um. I do not believe him entirely not because I think he would lie because I think he really does believe he had a good childhood !! He was raised Effectively to grow up into a businessman but. He never really Did the little kid stage. And to be fair. He is autistic and an ideal happy childhood for him would Not look the same as a neurotypical one but even with that in mind he missed out !!!!! Anyway All Of That To Say. There aren’t really activities from his childhood for him to try doing !! Besides. I don’t know those work books that are written for children who need more practice with writing or math or whatever than what they get through school. I don’t think Jumin ever Needed to do these when he was in school but he would anyway despite being at the top of his class. Anyway he wouldn’t like them when he’s regressed !!!! They require too much thinking and it overwhelms him !!

🤯

I think the first time Jumin heard about age regression was in reference to Yoosung since he has always been pretty open about it !! At the time Jumin decided to have zero opinion on the matter because it didn’t affect him and therefore thinking about it was Unnecessary. BUT when he realised he ALSO regressed then he was. Not as neutral on the topic !!! He saw it as much more shameful now and not that he does not respect Yoosung… but. He would think that regressing is Fitting for someone Like Yoosung but not someone people should take seriously !! Jsjsjs

🎟️

Owah… muamuamua 🥺 I think I will. Take this as my opportunity to talk about that draft that has been waiting for months(???) !!!!!! Okay ouuuu Jumin is soso easily overwhelmed when he is little !! And because of this it was hard at first for V to think of how he could entertain him like a good caregiver!! He can’t play pretend because it’s hard for him to be creative in that way and he can barely watch TV because if it is too brightly coloured or loud or if characters move too fast it bothers him + he finds a lot of kids’ shows too patronising. Sometimes Jumin does simple logical games as V watches but V wanted to find something they could do together !!!!! And the answer was jigsaw puzzles oweh… it can be hard for Jumin to do the puzzles on his own because of his dexterity issues but he loves to organise things into neat little categories !!! So he sorts all the puzzle pieces for V to put together 🥺

[tavern-aa]

hii !! i hope youre having a great day/night. 

can u do the prompts “Wow, i didn’t realize you were that…flexible.” and/or  “Do you think they can hear us through the tent?” “Yes we can.” for zuko atla ? maybe hes the firelord and they go on a trip to the woods with the rest of the gang ? male reader please.

A/N: Yo…Leviathan wrote this with the help of a friend. Teddy was gonna write this and then said, nah. Not my ZuZu so I was tasked with editing our friends draft and I…may have gone overboard and just like rewritten it even though I have a distaste for smut.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Smut, +18, voyeurism, tons of subtle fire puns sue me

x Male Reader

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-

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Smut Prompt: 63

“Wow, I didn’t realize you were that…flexible”

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Smut Prompt: 110-111

“Do you think they can hear us through the tent?”

“Yes we can.”

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They had travelled for hours to make it to the Western Air Temple, their feet heavy and their heads warry, and yet as soon as they set their belongings down, Aang suggested a sparing match. For fun of course, to blow off steam, get everyone a little sleepy so that they could rest a little easier that night. Zuko agreed, partnering up with the air bender whilst Sokka turned to Y/N, the only other non-bender in their group.

Y/N let out a hefty sigh at the look of tired determination on his friends face, “don’t go easy on him, Y/N,” he heard Katara call from where she was setting up the fire to cook for the Gaang’s dinner. Toph walked over to the side and stomped her foot on the ground erecting a tent of rock just large enough for her to fit inside.

Sokka huffed before approaching Y/N for their fight, both landing blows with fist and weapon though the two seemed evenly matched as usual. That changed the moment Y/N’s gaze drifted towards the other men’s fight, his eyes watching as Zuko moved unaware of his stare. Sokka took the opportunity of Y/N’s distraction to land a particularly hard blow to his friends leg swiping it out from under him.

“Point to Sokka!” He exclaimed in excitement as he danced around Y/N’s prone being.

“Shut it, boomerang boy. I was distracted,” Y/N pouted not having noticed the other two had finished their sparring match. Aang laughed loudly at the nickname for Sokka causing him to blush a deep red.

“Stop laughing, Aang! And it was fair, doesn’t matter if you were distracted or not!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

With that, Y/N used his leg to swipe Sokka’s feet out from under him before clambering over and holding the blade of his knife to the other man’s throat.

“How ‘bout that for fair?”

Sokka huffed before pushing the knife away with his finger, pushing Y/N off gently and getting up.

“Yeah yeah, your win again…I’m starving!”

Y/N watched Sokka run over to the camp fire and start bothering Katara before he too made his way closer to the others, grabbing his tent supplies to set up his and Zuko’s shared tent. The two were forced to share a tent due to lack of space; Sokka, Aang, and Katara were sharing the larger tent and Toph made her own so the other two males were left with the smaller tent.

The non-bender tried to set up the shelter as quick as possible, but we all know that tents are stupid and never want to be easy. His ear perked up as he heard the others laughing with eachother, but he paid no mind, instead keeping his focus on the task at hand.

A hand on his shoulder a moment later startled him out of his trance like state of trying to put the pole into the fabric.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you, it just looked like you needed help with the tent?”

Zuko.

Y/N’s heart hammered in his chest as his eyes turned to meet the other’s.

“Oh, uh…yeah, that would be great,” he muttered. It’s not like he was nervous around Zuko because he was a fire bender, no he was nervous for a much different reason. Zuko had been so kind to him ever since Y/N joined the Gaang, like sure he was close to everyone but Zuko was especially sweet to Y/N and the non-bender didn’t know why.

“Hey, are you feeling okay…by the way? I uh…I noticed you took a pretty hard fall earlier when sparring with Sokka,” Zuko questioned, raising his head momentarily to glance at the smaller male.

“Oh…ha, you saw that huh? Yeah I’m fine, a little sore, but I’m fine.”

“I could stretch you out if you want?”

Y/N’s face grew bright red, his grip on one of the poles turning white as his head snapped in Zuko’s direction.

“Huh?” He managed to squeak out in shock as Zuko looked up in confusion.

“What? Did I say somethi- oh…oh no that’s not- I-…” Zuko quickly cut himself off, his face also a deep crimson color from realization.

“No, no you’re fine, I’m sorry that was on me,” Y/N awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before standing up from the now pitched tent.

“But I do think I’ll take you up on that offer, I have some really bad kinks in my neck and back.”

Zuko’s face turned a deeper red as he heard Y/N’s words leave his mouth this time causing the smaller man to sputter and stumble over his words.

“Wait- I- no…I just…”

“This is so awkward to watch…” Sokka commented from the campfire, a spoon being held in front of his mouth. Y/N immediately flipped him off in response, his eyes cast downwards in embarrassment.

“Come on Y/N…let’s just get in the tent and stretch your muscles,” Zuko suggested, gently guiding Y/N into the tent before he zipped up the entrance, “So just uh…take off your shirt and lay on your stomach I guess.”

Y/N’s face stayed the crimson color as his hands reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in a quick swipe. His hands shook as he tossed it to the side of the area before lowering himself onto one of the sleeping bags on the ground, shivering slightly as the cool material of the fabric.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, a pair of warm hands made contact with Y/N’s back.

“I’m gonna start now,” Zuko whispered as he slowly dug his fingers into the smaller males back. Y/N let out a soft gasp as he felt the man’s fingers press into the sore sports of his body.

“Tell me if it hurts okay?”

“Y-yeah, it feels nice so far.”

Zuko nodded in response though he realized a second later that Y/N could not see him and blushed in embarrassment. After working on his back for a few more minutes, he tapped on the boy’s side.

“Can you turn over, I’m gonna do your legs now.”

Y/N felt his face flush before he slowly nodded into the fabric of the sleeping bag rolling his body over to expose his bare chest to the older male. Zuko’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the pink nubs that stood erect on Y/N’s chest wanting nothing more than to reach out and grab them, play with them, and have them in his mouth, just to make the smaller boy squirm in pleasure.

He quickly shook the thought from his head as he let his gaze trail down towards the younger male’s legs, eyes pausing only momentarily to stare longingly at the bulge in Y/N’s pants.

“Can you uh…can you take your pants off too? So I can get to the skin! Not anything weird!”

Y/N let out a nervous giggle before sitting up slightly and tugging off his pants revealing his briefs.

“A-alright, thank you,” Zuko breathed, his eyes trailing along Y/N’s legs in awe of the color and how incredibly soft they looked. He gently placed his hand on one of the smaller boy’s legs, gently lifting it to get it into a position to stretch out the muscle. This particular stretch has Y/N’s leg up in the air with Zuko’s body directly pressed against it and situated between his legs. Zuko felt his heart start to hammer against his ribs as he began to push Y/N’s leg towards his torso causing a small whimper of pain to release from the smaller boy’s mouth.

“Was that too far?”

“N-no it felt good, keep going.”

Moving on, he continued to push Y/N’s leg all the way up to where the boy was almost doing the splits.

“Wow, I didn’t realize you were that…flexible,” Zuko gulped, his eyes staring directly into Y/N’s. Y/N blushed deeply as he raised his hands to hide his face from the other man.

“I was close friends with Ty Lee and her family growing up so…” the younger male stated, his body shaking in nervousness.

“You’re shaking,” Zuko observed, pulling back from the stretch but keeping the smaller boy’s leg propped over his shoulder, his finger’s slightly digging into the skin.

“A-am I? That-that’s strange, ahaha.” Y/N felt time stop as he watched the fire bender turn his head to look at the smaller boy’s leg before placing a gentle peck against the skin. Not to be cheesy, but the place where his lips touched felt like a flame had been placed and spread from there sending a heat to his stomach.

“Zuko?”

“Hm?” Zuko hummed in response, slowly leaving more burning kisses along the length of the smaller boy’s leg, “What is it, firefly?”

The was it, the straw that broke the camel’s back. Y/N was hard and obviously so especially since Zuko was still pressing his body against the non bender’s.

“Zuko…” Y/N breathed, an argument playing out within his head debating on whether or not to continue with the actions the two were about to partake in. There were so many possibilities that something could go wrong, but…he could be with Zuko finally. His head felt light as he weighed the options before he finally made up his mind.

Zuko watched slightly amused as Y/N dropped his hands from covering his crimson face and sat up so that their faces were centimeters apart.

“I want you.”

Zuko’s face flushed softly across his cheeks before he nodded slowly, using his free hand to cup the younger man’s face, bringing their lips together in a heated kiss. Y/N let his shaking hands slide into the silky hair of the Fire Lord. A grunt left Zuko’s throat as he adjusted his position, accidentally not so accidentally grinding his growing bulge into Y/N’s raging hard on.

Y/N’s lips parted in shock, a gasp escaping him before Zuko plunged his tongue into the younger man’s mouth. Their tongues seemed to wrestle for ages, but soon Zuko won out before he gently guided Y/n’s body back onto the sleeping bag.

They parted for a second to catch their breaths, Y/N’s entire being seemed disheveled, his hair was a mess, his clothes were missing, and his lips were glossy and swollen from their passionate kiss. All in all, Zuko was close to going feral over that sight alone.

Y/N’s hand reached out and gently stroked the scarred side of Zuko’s face before he pulled the older man back down to him to place a few soft kisses against the scar.

“You’re so handsome…” he whispered against Zuko’s skin causing the Fire Lord to shiver.

“I could say the same to you,” Zuko chuckled, his fingers gently tracing over the smaller mans face before he trailed his hand down towards Y/N’s exposed chest.

The non bender’s back arched into Zuko’s hand as soon as it made contact with the pink bud, a whimper leaving his lips, begging him to touch him properly. Zuko let a smirk cross his face as he took the bud between his fingers, gently tweaking it carefully and yet enough to make Y/N squirm, soft breathy moans escaping his lips.

“Zuko, take your clothes off too…” He whined, reaching up and tugging at the Fire Lord’s tunic. Zuko shook his head in amusement before he stopped his actions, letting Y/N’s leg fall beside him as he pulled his tunic over his head.

“You’re so cute, Firefly.”

Immediately, Zuko was back to attacking the smaller man’s nipples though this time he used his mouth, sucking and gently nipping at the hard buds. Small sounds of pleasure left Y/N’s mouth at the assault, his fingers gripping at Zuko’s hair. The taller man raised an eyebrow at the action, lifting his head slowly to gaze at his partner with a slight smirk.

“What is it now, hm Firefly?”

“I-I wanna touch you too…”

Zuko’s eyebrows raised higher in shock before his smirk grew exponentially.

“If you want to baby, I’m not gonna stop you,” he chuckled, sitting up slowly to allow the other man room to move if he so pleased. Y/N took the opportunity to sit up before switching up his position to be on his knees. He then crawled toward Zuko slowly before letting his hand rest just above the waistband of his pants.

Y/N looked up at the Fire Lord for any hesitation, seeing none, and then continuing to grab both the waistband of his pants and his boxers, slowly pulling them down to expose the older man’s length. The smaller boy felt his heart stop at the size. It wasn’t the longest he had seen but fuck, it was a girthy motherfucker. He swallowed harshly before taking it into his hands, slowly pumping the length of the shaft before leaning his head towards the tip.

His tongue slipped from between his lips, letting it kitten lick the very tip of Zuko’s cock before he slowly engulfed the head with his mouth. His head was spinning as he began to pump his head up and back down the shaft, though he couldn’t get very far seeing as his mouth was slightly small for the width of his cock. A few seconds into the endeavor, Y/N felt Zuko’s finger’s slide into his hair causing him to glance up at his partner.

Zuko’s eyes were glazed over in ecstasy as he stared down at the smaller man, his teeth harshly bit his lip as Y/N ran his tongue up the side of Zuko’s cock once more before traveling down to his balls. His mouth continued to roam the areas he knew were weak points, exploiting them and causing Zuko to groan a little too loudly.

Both males froze in sudden fear of their friends hearing them. They stayed frozen for a few seconds before Y/N looked up at Zuko with concern.

“Do you think they can hear us through the tent?

“Yes we can,” came Toph’s response causing both men’s faces to flush violently as they jumped away from each other.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Y/N squeaked out before sliding into his sleeping bag and hiding his face from Zuko. The taller male’s face was in no better shape than Y/N’s was but he let out a soft chuckle before crawling back over to Y/N.

“I didn’t get to finish,” he whispered in the smaller man’s ear causing him to tense, “What are you gonna do about it?”

~

The next morning, Zuko and Y/N woke to the bleary, dark circled eyes of their friends. 

“Good morning everyone,” Y/N chirped happily, his face seemed to be glowing after the previous night. The four people sat around the camp fire sent exasperated looked back at both him and Zuko who had just ducked out of the tent.

“Yeah, morning guys,” He stated before slinging his arm over Y/N’s shoulder nonchalantly.

“I hate you guys,” Sokka stated before turning back to his food.  

[meltwonu]

| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ heavy ✦

this chapter pairing; snakehybrid!woozi&bunnyhybrid!dino x reader

genre&warnings; Snake Eyes!AU, threesome, dom!jihoon, oral(fem receiving), fingering, creampies, cum eating/cum sharing, breeding kink, dirty talk, but also a bit of crack lbr, jihoon and chan being little shits 😩😭.

notes; you don’t have to have read Snake Eyes to read this! It’s not part of the main plot! 💕🐍 also the--☠️ draft for this was literally from 2013 and I literally ran it through the hot setting on the washing machine and put it in the dryer 3 times to get it to what it is today ☠️ Also!!! the final chapter of Monster Mash!!! omg!!! I can’t believe it’s done AND to end it with a Snake Eyes au chapter!! 😭😩 Enjoy!! Have a great rest of the weekend!!! I love u!! Happy Halloween!! 🎃👻 💕

word count; ~4300

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

it’s heavy;

heavy how i want you so bad

heavy when it hits me so fast;

heavy and it’s driving me mad

that i’m never gonna give you up!

“OH MY FUCK--GOD!” A shrill voice cuts through the nearly empty living room; three forms huddled together on the sofa as the horror movie continued on the tv screen.

“Are you serious right now, Jihoon? Nothing even happened yet and you screamed!!” You tease.

You’d come to learn that Jihoon quite actually hated horror films.

And apparently so did Chan.

Your eyes scan over Jihoon’s frame squished into your side as his own eyes leave the tv for the 60th time that night; his grip on your waist tightening as he digs his face into your shoulder. “I can’t do it, I’m trying to look at the corner of the screen but I just know something’s going to pop out, I just know it, I--”

“Hyung, she’s right you know, nothing’s even--FUCK WHAT WAS THAT!?” Chan jolts at the screen, his own arms tangling with Jihoon’s around your waist in fear as the demon in the movie re-emerges from a dark closet.

You sigh, wondering why Minghao and the others hadn’t replied to any of your calls and messages; leaving you alone with Jihoon and Chan on this dark and rainy Halloween night. And you loved Jihoon with your whole heart and taking care of cute Chan was always fun but everyone being missing and unreachable seemed a little peculiar. 

Even to you.

“You guys, it’s not even real. Look, c’mon, nobody is going to pop out of the closet later. I’m sure Mingyu would kill whatever came crawling out of the closet Jihoon and Chan, do you even have a closet for demons to come out of?” You tried to lighten the mood and reassure them as you pry their clammy fingers from your midsection.

They simultaneously shoot you a glare, crossing their arms as you separate yourself from their bodies.

“I really don’t get how you two are so easily scared by these horrible movies!”

Chan pouts, “Well hybrids exist so surely demons do too!” You shoot him a dumbfounded look, “That literally has zero correlation.” 

“Whatever, I’m gonna grab more popcorn and I’ll be back.” Jihoon grumbles; eyes avoiding the screen as he scurries off to the kitchen.

The horror movie continues to play, small whimpers and screams coming from both of the boys on either of your sides.

You still don’t understand why they thought watching a horror movie on a rainy night was a good idea but they were determined to finish it by this point. And you, on the other hand, were getting bored. Horror movies weren’t that bad for you and you slept perfectly fine afterwards so you weren’t worried.

Unfortunately for Jihoon and Chan, that was not the case.

Jihoon had cocooned himself into a blanket with only his eyes peeking out and Chan had stolen one of the sofa pillows and had used it to hide behind when a scary scene was taking place. Biting your lip, you turn to each of them, watching as their eyes stay glued to the TV.

“Hey, if you two are so scared, why don’t we just turn the movie off. You’ll regret it if you can’t sleep later… And Minghao might kick my ass if he knows I let this happen to Chan.” You offer. Jihoon clears his throat, agreeing that maybe it was a bad idea to continue while Chan already started to reach for the remote tucked under the mass of snacks nearby.

As soon as he hits the power button, a bolt of lightning flashes outside causing the power to suddenly blow.

“Fuck! The demon’s here, I knew it, it’s because we watched the movie! We’re done, oh god, I haven’t even lived that long and Minghao hasn’t even taken me to a theme park yet and I--”, Chan cries, throwing the remote control haphazardly across the room as he tugs his fluffy ears down in panic. He immediately turns to you, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he continues to ramble incoherently against your skin.

On your other side, Jihoon has gone completely silent as one of his hands searched the dark for one of yours; his eyes completely closed in fear of seeing something in the dark that he didn’t want to see. You attempted to wrap an arm around each of them as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, their forms drawing even closer and molding to your body.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m shocked that you two are so scared of the dark right now.”

The only real light coming in was from whatever little bit of moonlight was visible through the clouds as you stared at the blobs glued on your sides. “Let’s be fair here. We just watched a horror film where things lurked in the dark, can you cut us some slack!?” Jihoon scream-whispers as Chan nods against your shoulder, “Jihoon-hyung’s right, I’m not normally scared of the dark!”

You pat him on the head, running your fingers through his hair as he leans into your touch.

Jihoon unwraps from your hold a few moments later, his eyes adjusting to the dark against his will as he clears his throat.

“We--Maybe we just need a distraction, that’s all… I’m sure the power will come back on soon, or maybe one of the others will come see if we’re ok. We just… We need to find something to do or else our minds will wander.” He suggests. You nod in the dark, raising an eyebrow, “Like, a game or something?” Jihoon hums back an agreement. The three of you sit in silence trying to think of anything to play but nothing comes to mind.

“I can’t think of anything, Jihoon.”

Chan sighs, raising his head from your shoulder. “We could play that one game, y’know, ‘are you nervous?’ I heard Minghao-hyung talking about it! All we do is touch or do things to each other until someone chickens out! It could be anything!” You could hear a smile in his voice that almost made you smile until you heard Jihoon scoff.

“That sounds like fun until something grabs you and it’s not me or her, Chan.” Jihoon deadpanned.

You can only grimace knowing that comment went straight to Chan’s head. “Why on god’s green earth would you say that, hyung!?” An exasperated noise leaves Chan’s mouth as he lets go of you, arms flailing off of the sofa before he gasps and balls up again. “Oh my god, what if something grabbed me just now, would you have done anything to save me?” You had no idea who that question was directed to but you replied with a simple “yes”.

“Are we going to play or what? The more I sit here, the more I start seeing demons in the kitchen over there, to be honest.” Jihoon was getting restless, his fingers gripping your shirt. “We don’t have anything to do anyway, we need to get our minds off this power outage, and the potential demon. I think Chan especially needs it, he seems to be losing it more than I am.”

You can only nod in agreement; after all, what could go wrong. “Should I start then?”

It’s silent for a beat before Chan speaks up. “I’ll do it!”

Even in the dark, you can see Chan sitting up on his knees as you turn to face him slightly. He pushes your shoulder, causing you to crash into Jihoon; your back to Jihoon’s chest as his legs open wider to accommodate your figure. It’s a little uncomfortable on the sofa, but Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind. “Are you nervous?” You can almost hear the smirk in Chan’s voice and although you were confused with the shift in the atmosphere and maybe a tiny bit concerned at where this was leading, you didn’t voice it.

“Not at all, Channie. Should I go next?”

Jihoon and Chan both make noises of agreement as you considered your options. You really didn’t know what to do, so you simply placed your palm down onto Jihoon’s sweatpant clad thigh and squeezed. A garbled noise leaves his lips and you can hear the stutter in his breath. “Jihoonie, are you nervous?” He’s silent for a little too long before he replies with a slightly breathless ‘no' and asks if it was his turn.

You nod, feeling his arms come around your waist as he rests his head in the crook of your neck; lips lightly trailing up behind your left ear as he whispers a simple “nervous yet?” before kissing the shell of your ear.

You had to admit, this was getting a little too hot too fast and you weren’t sure if this was the nature of the game but you weren’t mad about it.

“Um, n-no…”

Chan takes the lead, lips easing into a wide smile. “I’ll go next!” His fingers rests on your bare thighs, slightly prying your legs open as he makes space for himself between them; careful to avoid grabbing onto Jihoon’s legs.

By nature, you clamp your legs shut, trapping Chan’s hands in between as you yelp. “Hold on, wait, wait, wait, what is going on here!?” Your face burns red in the dark, almost glad the power was out so that they couldn’t see even though you already know Jihoon can feel the way your body warms up.

Neither of them knew how to answer, so you sat in silence; only your steady breaths heard as you sat between Jihoon’s legs with Chan’s hands trapped between your still clamped legs. 

Chan clears his throat as he attempts to pull back his hands from between your legs. “I--um, uh, it--it was Jihoon-hyung’s idea! He told me to tell Minghao-hyung I was sleeping over and to not check in! And then he called Mingyu and told them to not check in either!”

“What!? Me!? Don’t you dare pin this on me, brat! We planned this together!”

Your mouth hangs open in shock, eyes threatening to fall out of your skull as they continue to argue. “I didn’t wanna do it! I told hyung it wouldn’t work! I told him we should’ve done it differently!” Chan cries; tossing his head back dramatically.

“Okay, both of you shut up! Jihoon, what is going on!?”

The snake hybrid groans from behind you, arms still locked tight around your waist. “Listen… I--It wasn’t supposed to go like this, okay? We were gonna finish the movie and then ask you if--if you wanted to, y’know, play with both of us. And don’t try to deny it, I know you think Chan is cute. I just wanted to treat you to something nice.”

Chan wiggles his fingers, still trapped in between your thighs. “But then it got all spooky instead and the power went out...” The bunny hybrid mumbles.

You could feel your body heating up at the thought of being between Jihoon and Chan. And in truth, you’d thought about it maybe once, but it was a fleeting thought that’d left your mind just as quickly as it’d entered.

“I--I mean, uh, I mean, I’m okay with this b-but Jihoon, are you really okay with this? You don’t have to--”

“I’m fine with this, too.” Jihoon cut in, his arms squeezing your waist tighter.

A thankful sigh escapes Chan’s lips as he chuckles, “Thank god. I’m not gonna lie, I’m already a little hard....” You can see his face clearly now that your eyes completely adjusted to the dark.

“We literally haven’t even done anything yet.”

“Shut up, hyung!”

“Ngh… C--Chan…”

Your fingers tangle into his hair, careful of his ears as he dips his tongue into your entrance. Jihoon continues to nuzzle at your neck, appreciating your warmth as the younger hybrid works your body up for the both of them.

“She likes it when you use your fingers, y’know. And if you curl them just right, it makes her feel really, really good.” Jihoon guides. His lips ease into a lazy smirk when Chan listens eagerly and brings his fingers to your folds; using your wetness to coat them before he positions his index and middle fingers at your entrance. “Can she take two at once?” Chan asks, voice almost eerily innocent to which Jihoon chuckles under his breath - the action making you shiver at how easily the two of them seemed to get along so well in this situation.

“Of course, she can. She’s always so good about taking my cock. I bet I could slide right into her tight ‘lil pussy right now. Couldn’t I, baby?”

You nod shakily as your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of Chan’s fingers sinking into you slowly. He curls them almost immediately and you mewl and squirm as Jihoon’s grip on you tightens. “Oh, she’s so tight around my fingers already, hyung~” Chan murmurs. He thrusts his fingers into your hot cunt, tongue on your clit when he finds that you seem to like that best.

“Hmm~ Look at your favorite bunny hybrid trying to please you. Fingers knuckle deep while he teases your clit with his tongue. Are you gonna cum for him?” You let out a choked noise at Jihoon’s words and your fingers lock tighter into Chan’s hair when he taps your g-spot, wiggling his fingers inside of you to stretch you out.

“Oh, g-god, yes!”

Chan sucks your clit between his lips and Jihoon has to hold you down tighter as you try to grind against Chan’s face.

Jihoon’s fingers start to roam and squeeze you through your shirt; delicate fingers pinching your nipples as you mewl at the sensations they were making you feel. It was one thing to have Jihoon’s hands all over you but now that Chan was added to the mix, you found yourself getting addicted to the excitement that flooded your senses.

“A-ah, Chan…” The sound of you softly calling his name has him immediately pulling off of you, lips glistening with your wetness when he peers up at you through the dark.

“Hyung, am I allowed to fuck her?” Chan questions quietly. The snake hybrid bites the inside of his cheek.

His possessive nature screamed no, but the other part of him already felt his cock throbbing at the thought of you getting fucked by someone else and getting filled with so much cum from the both of them that it’d be spilling out of you.

Jihoon’s throat feels dry at the thought alone.

“Yes. Fuck her tight ‘lil cunt and fill her up with cum. We’ll breed her so fuckin’ good she’ll be begging us both for more.” Chan giggles innocently; a complete contrast to the way his eyes burn with unadulterated lust when he leans in close to your face.

“Ah~ Minghao-hyung always complains about me rutting against the pillows. Says my libido is too high, but I just can’t help it~ Finally, I get to fuck your tight cunt and I get to cum inside you and fill you up with my cum instead of just using my hand and making a mess on the sheets!” He grins.

Christ, Chan was really oblivious to the way his words affected you.

“Ngh, please, one of you j-just fuck me already~” You whine.

Jihoon’s fingers tug on your shirt, helping you lift it off of you as you’re finally completely bare to them both. His fingers immediately go back to teasing your chest as Chan sits up proper between your legs, pushing his sweats and underwear down. “Hyung, are you sure this is a one time only thing?”

You mewl as Jihoon pinches your nipples hard; nails digging into his clothed thighs in return. “We’ll talk about it later, Chan.” He replies easily.

Chan wraps a firm hand around his cock, moaning as he spreads the precum all down his shaft. “Mmh, I really need to fuck you now.” He mutters.

“D-do it…” Whimpering, you try to spread your legs a little more given the small space. “Mmh, m-maybe taking it to the bedroom, ah, might’ve been a better i-idea.”You mutter.

 Chan pouts, trying to get comfortable as he rubs the head of his cock through your folds, tapping your clit as you cry out in pleasure. “No, what if something grabbed one of us on the way there?” He retorts.

Jihoon laughs under his breath, eyes focused on the way your chest rises and falls in anticipation.

Chan lets out a shaky moan as he sinks his cock into your tight warmth, brows furrowing when he can already tell that he won’t be able to hold himself back. “Ah, you’re so--so tight…” He whines. His cock was a little shorter than Jihoon’s but just as thick to stretch you out to your liking.

He gives you a second to adjust before he skillfully draws his hips back and slams his cock into you. “Fu---fuck, she feels so good, I--I don’t think I can h-hold back…” His hands are on your thighs keeping your spread; biting into his bottom lip. “Ngh, please--please tell me I can fuck y-you harder!”

Jihoon smiles, snaking a hand down to your clit as he starts to roll the nub between his fingers slowly. It makes your pussy clench down harder onto Chan who lets out a choked whine at the feeling of your walls clamping down onto him in a vice grip. “Well, baby? What do you want? Tell your cute ‘lil bunny.”

Chan’s cock curves into your g-spot perfectly and with Jihoon’s fingertips teasing your clit, your head already starts to feel fuzzy. “Mmh… ah, y-yeah, fuck me h-harder, Chan… I wanna feel y-you...”

He whispers quiet thank you’s into the dark; hips slamming into you as Jihoon keeps you locked in his hold. Soft whines and moans spill from Chan’s lips and for a moment, it makes you wonder if he always sounded like this when he was alone and rutting against his pillow.

And almost as if Jihoon can read your mind, his sultry, lust filled eyes watch Chan’s cock fucking into you as he whispers, “How’s she feel, Chan? Better than rubbing your cock against the sheets? Or how about your hand?” The younger hybrid whines, cock throbbing as he already feels himself close to an orgasm.

“She---She, hah, feels so w-warm and wet… S-Shit, I’m going to think a-about this whenever I, ah, need to g-get off…” He licks his dry lips, committing to memory how your pussy felt around him. “It’s n-not gonna be the s-same when I’m alone…”

“Enjoy it while you can, bunny~” Jihoon teases. He takes his fingers off of your clit, nipping at the shell of your ear. “As for you, don’t cum, baby.” You nod shakily, realizing that at least that much was still only reserved for Jihoon.

Instead, Jihoon continues to provokes Chan, soft giggles on his lips when he sees the bunny hybrid struggling to stave off his orgasm. “Ah, hurry and fill her up with your cum~ I bet it’s been so long since you’ve cum, huh? You probably have a lot ready just to breed her tight little cunt too.”

His own words prove to do damage to himself when he feels his cock throbbing in his sweats; he really needed Chan to hurry up. And Chan doesn’t fare any better himself; airy whines and groans filling the air as he feels his abdomen tightening the more Jihoon continues to speak.

“Fu--fuck, I’m--I’m cumming!” Chan cries, hips pistoning into you at a breakneck speed as he fucks his cum deeper and deeper into you. Your body jerks between them both, choked whines of your own mixing with his as you do your best to not cum either which proves hard when Jihoon starts to coax you too.

“Mm, bet it feels nice and warm, huh, baby? Hot cum filling up your ‘lil cunt, waiting for me to cum inside you too so you’re full of both of us.”

“Jihoon…” You whisper, hips moving against Chan’s as he rides out the remnants of his orgasm. You can already feel the cum sliding out of you from around Chan’s cock and your mind turns to putty at the thought of Jihoon still fucking you and making you cum.

“Alright, bunny, time for you to move.” Chan nods slowly in return, thrusting into you one more time as the two of you share a moan. “Okay, okay, move!” Jihoon grumbles.

He realized it’d take days if not weeks to get Chan’s smell off of you. 

Not that it was a problem. He always had ideas in store to make it easier.

Chan slides his cock from inside of you, watching as the cum drips down onto the sofa in large globs. He licks his lips, already itching to get his hands back onto you as he starts to move back.

Jihoon slowly unwraps his arms from around you and moves to switch places with Chan who tugs his own sweatpants back up. “Can I take a shower after this?” He asks quietly.

The snake hybrid exhales harshly through his nose as he replaces Chan between your legs, pushing his sweats and underwear down in one swift motion. “We’ll all go shower after this, now hold her still.” Chan nods, ears flopping atop his head; satisfied for now.

He wraps his arms around your midsection much like Jihoon had done, chin nuzzled into the crook of your neck as he watches Jihoon running his cock through the mix of your wetness and Chan’s cum. “Mmm, hyung’s gonna make sure our cum stays inside your hot cunt~ ‘Cause you need to be bred, y’know? Ah, Jihoon-hyung’s so lucky~ He gets to breed your pretty pussy whenever he wants~”

Jihoon’s jaw clenches tight, a hand placed firm on your thigh as he uses Chan’s cum as lubrication when he eases his cock into you. “Fuck, you’re so wet!” He growls; already starting a quick pace as he chases his high.

He’d waited long enough.

“Ah, you’re so warm too, you feel so good, baby…” Jihoon pauses, licking his lips as his eyes meet yours in the darkness. “And all mine, right?” He thrusts into you particularly hard for emphasis; almost daring you to say anything different.

“G-god, yes, yes! I’m y-yours, ah!” Chan slithers a hand down your torso, fingertips on your sticky and swollen clit as he starts to pinch and roll the nub between his fingertips. You clench around Jihoon; overwhelmed with the urge to cum as they both stimulate your body.

“Why don’t you cum for Jihoon-hyung, hmm? Cum around his cock and milk him for all he’s got~” You mewl at Chan’s words, toes curling as you and Jihoon both feel each other close to the edge. Jihoon’s cock curves into you perfectly and hits all of the right spots inside of you that have you bucking your hips to match his thrusts.

It only takes a few more thrusts before you feel the tension in your body threatening to snap at any second.

“Jihoon, I---”

“I know, baby. S’okay. Cum with me.” His voice is breathy and raw as he, too, feels his cock throbbing inside your tight heat.

Chan and Jihoon work in tandem as your rushed cries of Jihoon’s name start to roll off of your tongue and his thrusts become erratic; groans on his own lips as the two of you cum at the same time. Jihoon doesn’t stop his quick pace either, instead, doubling it as he fucks his and Chan’s cum further into your pussy.

“Shit, that’s right, hyung. Breed her fuckin’ cunt.” Growling, Chan pinches your clit as you let out a high pitched whine.

“J--Jihoon, please, please, pl--please b-breed me! Get m-me full of your c-cum!” You cry; delirium mildly settling in as his hot cum paints your walls and spills out of you from around his cock.

“Ngh, that’s---that’s right, baby. Beg me to fill you up, hah, just like you like it.” Jihoon starts to slow down his thrusts just as Chan starts to ease his fingers off of your clit and you sob quietly at the bliss that continues to wash over your body.

Your chest rises and falls in deep breaths as the remnants of your orgasm start to ebb off and you immediately slump against Chan’s warm chest as the tiredness starts to overtake you. “Fuh--fuck, ‘m so full o-of cum…” You whine.

The two hybrids can only groan in unison.

Jihoon starts to slide his cock out of you; licking his lips when he sees how much cum spills from your spent pussy. “Ah, such a waste.” He comments.

“Wait, wait!” Chan catches your attention and Jihoon’s when he starts to move from behind you. Jihoon shoots the bunny hybrid a confused look when he ushers for Jihoon to move again. “Just trust me, hyung.”

They switch places one last time as you rest against Jihoon’s clothed chest, eyes focusing on Chan who kneels in between your legs.

“Hey, can I kiss her?”

You blush as Jihoon narrows his eyes at the other male. “Only one time. Make it good.”

Chan smirks as he immediately dives headfirst in between your thighs; lapping up the cum that spills out of you and onto the sofa. You latch your fingers into his hair by reflex, sharp cries on your lips from the oversensitivity as Chan collects the mixed cum on his tongue.

Jihoon has to admit, he’s a little impressed.

Once Chan deems it enough, he holds the cum in his mouth as he pulls away from your cunt and your hands fall from his hair.

You watch through hazy eyes as he stops when he’s face to face with you; smiling at you angelically. He leans in, lips pressed firm against your own as you moan into the kiss. And once your lips part, Chan’s quick to push the cum into your mouth; a little dripping down your chin at the messy way his tongue pushes it in. 

He pulls away once all of the salty substance is out of his mouth; a trail of saliva and cum connecting your lips as Jihoon whistles in amazement.

“Wow, can’t say I saw that one coming.”

Your cheeks flush and Jihoon enjoys the warmth that radiates from you in between their bodies. 

Chan smiles at you innocently again; reverting back to his sweet bunny-like nature.

“Can we find some candles and go shower now, please?”

[pinkanonwrites]

I loved the animal crossing vs karasuno boys hcs u did!! Do u think u could do another one with a different team? Maybe nekoma but u can choose whatever!! Thank u 😊

AAAAAAHHH This has been sitting in my drafts almost-completely finished for MONTHS and I’m FINALLY GONNA POST IT! Thank you for the request, I love Nekoma so, so, so much! (Fukunaga please call me. I’ll do all the talking)

(( Also also since I did all boy villagers in the Karasuno one, this one has all girl villagers))

LONG POST BELOW!

Kuroo Tetsurou

“Celia is so pretty!~ I love her so much!”

Kuroo’s attention snapped to you, doing his best to keep his face neutral as his brain went rocketing off in the worst direction possible. Pretty? Pretty girl? You like a pretty girl?

He had no room to judge, he also liked pretty girls. But there’s no way you liked this pretty girl more than you liked him, right? Right?

He pulled his attention back to the practice match just in time to avoid getting wailed in the face with a volleyball, able to turn it into a clumsy receive at the last possible second. If his teammates noticed, they were at least kind enough not to call him out.

When he sidled up to you at the end of practice he did his best to sound fake concerned, not legitimately worried.

“You replacing me with some cute girl? I could hear you mooning from all the way on the court, you know?”

You just laughed and shook your head, lifting your phone to show a character from the game you and Kenma had been gushing about. Your phone lockscreen had been set to a picture of an, admittedly adorable, cartoon eagle.

“I finally found someone who had Celia in their town. I wanted her so bad!”

Kuroo snorted, ruffling the top of your head. “Well I’m glad you got her. Next time give me a warning before you start going all mushy for video game birds, alright?”

Kai Nobuyuki

“Oh, Lily! Lily, you’re so beautiful!”

Kai barely gave more than a twitch to indicate that he’d heard what you’d said. He’d heard you gush about celebrities or anime characters you’d liked before, but not to the degree that you’d call them just by their first name.

“New favorite character?” He offered, continuing to pack his practice bag and try not to look too curious about who you were fawning over.

Luckily for him, you were more than happy to supply the answer yourself, squiggling under his arm and holding your Switch up to his face so he could see your colorfully-dressed character sitting at a picnic table with an adorable cartoon frog.

“She’s so cute! I can’t believe I got her in my town.” “I didn’t know you liked frogs so much.” He breathed a silent sigh of relief, feeling silly for letting himself worry, even the tiniest bit.

“Yeah, well she’s the cutest frog!”

“Cuter than most frogs I’ve seen.”

Kai fought a smile as you began passionately debating the cuteness of real life frogs, tugging you a little bit closer with his arm.

Yaku Morisuke

“Ah, Cleo! How could anyone ever be so cute?”

Yaku didn’t much enjoy it when you called him cute, but hearing you call somebody else cute was somehow a thousand times worse. He could swear he felt his own blood pressure spike with that sentence alone.

“Ooh! Who’s cute?”

And there’s Lev. So much for his blood pressure.

You held up your phone screen to Lev and he began nodding along in agreement with you, which somehow made Yaku feel even more irritated than he already did. A stray volleyball rolled across the floor near him, and he sent it spiralling into Lev’s lower back with a kick.

“Quit talking about cute girls and focus on your receives, shithead!”

“OWWWW!!! Yaku-senpai, so mean! You could’ve missed! Then how would you feel?”

“Get back on the court, Lev.”

“I’m sorry!” You said when you pulled Yaku aside after practice. “I just was just really excited about Animal Crossing, I didn’t mean to distract Lev.”

“Animal….. Crossing?”

“Yeah! I got a really cute villager!” You held up your phone and showed Yaku a picture of the pastel horse that had just moved into your village.

“...Oh. Cleo.”

“Mhm!... Are you okay? You’re turning a little red. Maybe you should drink some more water.”

Kozume Kenma

“Rosie! Oh, Rosie is definitely best girl.”

Despite being very well-versed in Animal Crossing, it still caught Kenma off-guard for a half a second to hear you so openly mooning about your favorite villager. Luckily for him the two of you had been talking about Animal Crossing since the new game was announced, so he’d had plenty of time to get to know your favorites.

“Did you find someone to trade with you?”

“Yep! I just need to get Egbert to leave so she can move in! Get outta here, chicken!”

Resting his chin on your shoulder, Kenma watched with a small smile as you started building cliffs around the perimeter of Egbert’s house, determined to get him to move away. Maybe someday he’d have to deal with the discomfort of hearing you openly moon about someone attractive. Thankfully, today was not that day.

Fukunaga Shouhei

“You’re so perfect, Ellie! Don’t ever leave!”

Fukunaga glanced at you and quirked an eyebrow, but you were far too immersed in your Switch screen to notice. Your expression had dropped into this soft, moony-eyed gaze, one that Fukunaga wasn’t used to seeing directed at anything that wasn’t him when you thought he wasn’t looking.

It felt… weird.

“Oh! Shouhei, do you wanna see?” You finally seemed to notice him glancing in your direction, scooting over to show off your screen. “Ellie was moving out of Kenma’s town and he let me take her! Isn’t she cute?”

While your character ran circles around the little tan elephant all Shouhei could do was watch you smile with a warm, fuzzy feeling blooming in his chest.

“Second cutest here.” He quietly replied.

Yamamoto Taketora

“Molly! She’s so cute I can’t even handle it!”

Normally Yamamoto would find the idea of you fawning over a cute girl to be equally cute. That way the two of you could fawn over cute girls together!

But it was significantly less fun when it meant that one hundred percent of your attention was on your phone and zero percent of your attention was on him. He spent the majority of the day landing awesome spikes only to snap his attention towards you and see you fully immersed in your phone screen.

Finally his not-so-quiet grumbling about your lack of attention got the better of Kuroo and he hollered over to you, asking what you were looking at. Before Yamamoto could shush him you raised your phone, showing off an adorable cartoon duck.

“I finally got Molly in my town!”

Kuroo burst into laughter as a blush crawled its way across Yamamoto’s face and up to the tips of his ears, taking a swing at Kuroo to try and get him to shut up.

Haiba Lev

“She’s so stoic and cool. How can you not be completely in love with Whitney?”

“I can be stoic and cool.” Lev grumbled.

“She’s got such pretty white hair and sharp eyes.”

“I’ve got white hair and sharp eyes.”

“I should get her some flowers.”

“Can’t you get your boyfriend some flowers?”

“Hm? Lev, hun, did you say something?”

He’d been quietly murmuring under his breath since you started gushing about Animal Crossing but honestly, how could you not? Whitney was one of your dreamies and finally, after many a Nook Mile Ticket spent, you finally had her on your island. Maybe you had been going on about it for a bit, though.

“I’m sorry, Lev! I’m just excited. I wanna know what you said though!”

Lev puffed up, jabbing his thumb into his chest. “I’ve got all those things you love about this Whitney girl so much, so you shouldn’t need anyone else!” You stared at him in disbelief for a long, painfully awkward moment, before snorting hard as you dissolved into laughter.

“H-Hey!”

I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh!” You choke out between giggles, just silently holding up your Switch to Lev’s face to show off your character presenting some roses to a cartoon wolf…

… Named Whitney.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone turn that shade of red before.

“W-W-Well she must be your favorite because she’s so much like me! Right? Right?!”

Good save, Lev. Good save.

Inuoka Sou

“Piper’s just so cool and chill! That’s why she’s my absolute favorite.”

Oh. Oh! You liked cool and chill people? Inuoka had no idea. But that’s okay! He can be cool! He can be chill!

“Dude, you okay? You’re like… Vibrating.”

At least, that’s what Inuoka had thought at the beginning of the day. Truthfully he had no skill when it came to containing his energy, especially since every time he saw you it felt like his heart was doing the equivalent of spam texting you a dozen lines of heart emojis. By the time he had gotten to the end of practice he felt jittery and uncomfortable, like he’d been holding a lid down on a boiling pot of water. He just hadn’t been acknowledging it until Yamamoto pointed it out.

“Sou?” You had been waiting for him outside the gym! Waiting! For him! His heart felt like it did a kickflip off the inside of his ribcage as he enveloped you in a hug.

“I tried! I tried to be calm and chill like you like but I just can’t do it! And whenever I see you my heart goes a RAAAAAHHH so it’s basically impossible anyway! I hope you don’t mind!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on.” You cupped his face in your hands and he melted into your hold, smiling like an idiot. “When did I say I like calm, chill guys?”

“This morning, you were talking about some girl named Piper and you said she was so calm and cool and that's why you liked her so I thought if I could be like that you’d like me more too and-”

You pressed a finger to his lips and he couldn’t help but sigh, turning to putty at your merest touch.

“Babe, I was talking about a character from my game! You know, the one with all the animals?”

“Really?”

“Really?”

“So I don’t need to act all calm and cool for you to like me?”

“Of course not! I love you just the way you are.”

“Heehee~… I feel a little silly.”

“You are a little silly, babe.”

Shibayama Yuuki

“I’m in love! Flora is so perfect! I’ve never loved so much in my life!”

Shibayama stumbled over his own two feet when he heard you professing your love of this ‘Flora’ to one of your classmates during lunch. Glancing just around the door to your classroom, you were holding your phone in one hand and wildly gesturing with the other, leaving your friend chuckling at your excited antics.

He felt an uncomfortable sort of chill in the pit of his stomach, making his just-eaten lunch feel more than a bit unwelcome. Did you even like this Flora more than...him?

It was easy to tell that Shibayama was a bit out of it at practice, doing his best to stay focused but still uncharacteristically quiet. It wasn’t until you met him after practice to walk home that everything was cleared up to him.

“S-So, um… Who’s Flora?”

“Huh? Oh! Oh, lemme show you!”

You pulled out your Switch and ran your little character over to a flamingo and began talking to her, and Shibayama felt all the tension in his body rush out in a single breath. He let out a small chuckle as you fawned over the character.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cute!”

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 9

The Slaying of the Bobbledragon

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Since slaying a serial-killer dragon is a little outside the party's expertise, they're off to Cauterdale to enlist the aid of the Deathseekers' Guild! Having gotten a good night's sleep at a druid village, and not eaten, they're ready to take on, uh...

Well, some sort of very large monster that Zero kindly drew for me.

In the morning, they rather uneventfully get up and get back on the road, thanking the villagers for their hospitality. And the remainder of the trip to Cauterdale is likewise brief and uneventful, right up until the fire.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: the what Benedict I. (GM): The fire.

Yeah, the forest and the road up ahead are ablaze, sort of blocking passage. The dirt road isn't actively on fire, but the trees on both sides are, making it pretty risky to proceed. The team opts to send Oyobi up ahead to scout the situation- and pretty soon she comes back with a report. Apparently, just past the visible fireline, the forest is totally burned down- just charred stumps as far as she could see, right up to the city walls. The fire itself is just, like, 10 meters wide or so, so it's totally something they could just dash through.

It takes some Animal Handling checks to coax the giraffes through, and the ones that balk get them and their riders a little bit of chip damage from heat and smoke inhalation, but the party is pretty much able to push through to the blasted wasteland of charred tree stumps surrounding Cauterdale.

They notice a few people in strange armor in the distance, doing something near the fire- from the seemingly controlled nature of this burn and the name of the town, they conclude that those are fire squads doing this deliberately, and don't get involved. It's a fine conclusion, and the party begins walking the remaining mile to the city.

As they approach, they notice... a little ways off from the main gates, something is attacking the city walls. Guards atop the walls are manning some sort of huge harpoon guns, and they seem to have already slain several of the... whatever these things are. The remaining one, though, seems larger and more resilient than the others, continuing its assault despite the several harpoons already lodged in its flesh.

What they see is a huge reptilian monster. It's probably not a dragon- no wings, and it doesn't appear to be using a breath weapon- but it's the size of a dragon, with tiny arms, headbutting the metal walls of the town repeatedly.

Orluthe makes his Nature roll to recognize this thing- he's heard of them before. They're called "bobbledragons"- some sort of deformed mutant offshoot of true dragons, incapable of speech or flight or magic but still possessed of monstrous strength and durability.

Luckily, the bobbledragon doesn't seem to be in between them and the main gate- the fight is far enough away that they could potentially just walk up and head into town, assuming they'll open the gates during a situation like this. Hell, they don't even need to open the gates- if the guards just drop a rope, they should be able to just climb over. That seems like a decent plan, so Saelhen and Looseleaf begin working together to draft a use of the Message spell to ask the guards to help them inside.

Then they notice that I've been moving Oyobi's token on the map in the direction of the fight.

Oyobi, blinded by bloodlust and/or extra-credit-in-Severe-Zoology-lust, is determined to help fell the bobbledragon. Their attempts at persuasion fail, and Oyobi, undeterred, continues to charge the giant fucking T-rex that is making huge dents in the walls of a city.

As Oyobi runs for it, and as the party follows behind in hopes of stopping her from making a terrible mistake, the bobbledragon jumps and seizes one of the guards on the wall in its jaws, demonstrating its +10 4d12+7 bite attack by immediately oneshotting its victim.

Looseleaf: oh god we're all going to die. you're using the real t-rex statblock. that thing is challenge eight. it is made for a party of four level eight adventurers, so either we are all going to die here, or the guards are going to show us why they are professional fighters and we are students. Benedict I. (GM): "Shit! It can jump!" "No!" The guards seem upset.

Not promising.

Looseleaf: This thing does sufficient damage to oneshot any of us with a perfectly mediocre hit. Looseleaf right now is kind of thoroughly convinced that Oyobi is actually literally about to die. In that light, Looseleaf is going to message Oyobi again. And she is not going to get any closer. Actually, she's going to back off, put distance between herself and the monster. [Oyobi that thing is going to bite you in half get back here you are going to die.] Benedict I. (GM): Roll Persuasion! DC 20 again. -Looseleaf: 17 / PERSUASION (1)- Oyobi Yamatake: [I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!!!]

So... that's a bust, and Oyobi finally reaches the dragon and begins her assault. Miraculously, her flying leap hits, and she digs her sword in... for thirteen damage.

The guards return fire against the bobbledragon, and one of the harpoons catches it in the chest- but it doesn't go down, and the second harpoon- manned by just one guard, after his partner got crunched- misses. Another guard, without a cannon, throws a spear- and gets not only a critical hit, but a max damage critical hit, spearing the thing right in the eye.

...for eleven damage, because these are ordinary CR 1/8 Guards, but still!

Saelhen tries to distract the bobbledragon so Oyobi can run and hide, but... her arrow goes wide, and Oyobi isn't interested in running and hiding anyway. The bobbledragon, targeting whatever did the most damage to it recently with its bite attack, jumps and bites the whole damn harpoon gun out of the guard tower, leaving the guards without heavy weaponry.

And then with its tail, it tries to slap the insect that just stung it in the rear.

...and rolls a 3, meaning Oyobi gracefully backflips over the attack and strikes a dramatic pose.

Looseleaf: God, she did not deserve that dodge. She got so fucking lucky there. Saelhen du Fishercrown: she really didn't Oyobi Yamatake: "When you get to Dragon Hell, tell them Oyobi Yamatake sent you!!"

Looseleaf, in the interest of communicating to Oyobi how much danger she's in, makes use of an upgrade to her Rend Spirit attack she learned while studying Lumiere's notes on pain. With Painread, she can get some feedback back from something whose spirit she disrupts, and figure out exactly how bad a shape it's in. She does so (dealing a cool 16 damage as she does), and learns how huge this thing's remaining hit point pool is, so she can tell Oyobi how unlikely she is to survive long enough to take it down.

...It, uh, it was already pretty hurt when they arrived, and it, um, has nine hit points left. And it's Oyobi's turn.

Oyobi Yamatake: Oyobi dashes forwards, Naruto-runs up to the T-rex's throat, and does a spinning leap that slashes open its jugular. It roars, and the roar swiftly fades off as its breath escapes. Saelhen du Fishercrown: God dammit, Oyobi. Oyobi Yamatake: "YES! YES! B-S-U! B-S-U! B-S-U!" "THAT is how it's DONE!" She is jumping up and down, doing a celebratory dance, the works. "Flawlessed the boss! Hell yeah!"

Yeah, so... I had kind of been planning on her getting oneshot and laid up in the hospital, as a sort of character growth thing and also keeping her out of the way of certain events in town, but, uh... the dice... didn't exactly... share my priorities.

With the bobbledragon slain, and Oyobi doing an extremely obnoxious victory dance, the rest of the party springs into action to stabilize the guard who was used as a chew toy. Thanks to his plate armor, he hasn't lost much blood, but he's got more broken bones than not, and his prognosis wouldn't be good... if it weren't for the healer's kits Looseleaf had the foresight to buy for everyone. Saelhen stabilizes him, and Orluthe calls on his goddess to Lay On Hands to save the guard's life.

Then there's this guy- the captain of the guard, who fought in the battle with a fancy crossbow that shot flaming bolts. He demands to know who the party is, seeming kind of annoyed that they rewarded weakness by saving the guard's life.

Benedict I. (GM): He looks down at your medical kit. "Y'know, all of my men are prepared to fight and die for our home. You really want to take away this man's glory?" The injured guard looks up. "Uh, sir, I- it's fine, actually..." "Feh." Looseleaf: This guy immediately seems like a bad boss. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Oh, he's ridiculous. Okay, that changes the tenor of this conversation somewhat! "...I apologize, sir," says Saelhen, bowing to the guard on his stretcher, "if I have diminished your victory with my carelessness."

And rather than give this guy any more of the time of day, Saelhen asks the random guard his name. (And then I have to give him one and make him a character, whoops.)

Medd Cutter here is thankful for Saelhen's assistance saving his life, and Saelhen pledges to remember his heroism. The commander feels- by design- somewhat left out of the heroism-remembering, and declares that he is REX SCAR, and Saelhen kind of blows him off. He's not happy, but...

Captain Scar is still the sort of person who is very impressed with anyone who rolls up and kills a bobbledragon just because they felt like it, and despite Saelhen's calculated snub, tries to get buddy-buddy with the group of obviously very powerful people who just arrived. He decides to help them through customs without going through the usual processes, much to the chagrin of...

...Long-Tongue, Cauterdale Customs and Border Inspection Officer of Cauterdale, who's very loquacious and wordy and redundantly repeats what she says in different words to phrase things differently in a somewhat unnecessary fashion for no real reason. Rex bullies his way past her, but Saelhen- as another snub, and just to be... nice? (What's her game...?), hands her the 300-page history of the de la Surplus family as collateral for a deferred border inspection.

Inside the walls, Cauterdale is a very crowded place. It's like 80% slum, choked with buildings constructed of a patchwork of scrap metal and discarded siding, without much wood to speak of. The streets are narrow and bustling, and the general vibe around the place is impatient.

The remaining guards escorting them (Rex went off someplace) inform them, when questioned, that the town indeed burns down the forest around them- since they're near the jungle, horrible dangerous things tend to come out of the trees to attack them, and their harpoon defenses are most effective when they can see their attackers coming from a mile away, with no obstructions. Looseleaf asks if bobbledragon attacks are common.

Benedict I. (GM): Another guard shakes his head. "No, that one was pretty crazy. Usually it's just the giant spiders, or the giant mosquitoes, or the mushroom demons." "We've had a few bobbledragons before, but that was like, four at once." Looseleaf: "Oh gods there's already giant spiders?!" "We're not even at- I thought this was a pine forest still!" Benedict I. (GM): "No, that's usually after it rains," Medd says. Looseleaf: Looseleaf casts Druidcraft. Please tell me it's not going to rain. Benedict I. (GM): Nope! Clear skies for now. "Whoa, cool." Looseleaf:"Thank the gods of sea and sky and weather and everything even tangentially related to weather," she says. "No rain." "I hope it never rains, ever again." Benedict I. (GM): "Haha, better stay away from..." "Wait, where are you headed?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "The rainforest," adds Saelhen, mildly. Looseleaf: "Ttttthunderbrush, and yes I know that place is crawling with spiders NOERU SHUT UP,"

Then Looseleaf asks about what they're there for- the Deathseekers' Guild. Unfortunately, the guards tell them that the Deathseekers... probably still exist, but they're like, a weird secret club of old people who think they're too cool to join the guard. They give them a couple leads- apparently the Temple of Andra keeps tabs on them, and also a guard by the name of Mags was the last to see them as they were recently seen leaving the city.

The team splits up- Looseleaf and Orluthe head for the temple, and Oyobi and Saelhen head for the guardhouse to talk to Mags. (Vayen... is still gone, after vanishing as soon as the bobbledragon fight started.) The latter group does their thing next session, so...

After dropping off their rental giraffes, they head inside to meet...

This guy, working the reception desk. He seems to be made of rock, and when he talks he rumbles.

As Looseleaf explains their dilemma and their need for Deathseekers, this guy takes a keen interest in their plight. He's very "hmmmm, iiiiiinteresting, oh i see, you don't say?" about the whole thing, making a very normal interaction seem as ominous as possible.

He tells her that the Deathseekers, to his knowledge, should be back in the city from their unspecified errand inside two days, and offers to take a message.

Looseleaf: "I don't suppose they're looking for a green dragon, are they?" Benedict I. (GM): This guy's smile keeps getting wider. It's kind of creepy. "Hm? What makes you say that?"

As she explains about the dragon, he offers her and Orluthe a candy from a bowl on the desk. After some hemming and hawing out-of-character because the creepy rock man is offering you suspicious candy, they eventually opt to have some, because really, Looseleaf isn't suspicious of this guy. Hers is lemon-flavored. It's tasty.

Then, as she describes the empty tower with the corpse of the torture wizard in it, this guy's demeanor changes suddenly from "creepy wry amusement" to "genuine concern". He tries to put on a poker face, but him having a poker face when he's until now been all creepy-friendly chewing the scenery... stands out. He gives her a strong assurance that the Deathseekers will handle this problem for her.

Benedict I. (GM): "I... thank you, for this information." Looseleaf: "You're welcome. Please, uh, make sure that the Deathseekers get this information as quickly as possible. The dragon eats a corpse a week and there's only three corpses left in the tower, there's a very real deadline on this." Benedict I. (GM): [rolling 1d20+4] (Insight) 17+4 = 21 Looseleaf: Belatedly, Looseleaf realizes she's made a mistake. Benedict I. (GM): "You say... the dragon eats three corpses a week?" "Only three corpses left in the tower?" Looseleaf: Namely: Looseleaf has no good reason to know the fact that the dragon eats a corpse a week. Since she's never met the dragon. Benedict I. (GM): "Curious information." "How did you come across it?" Looseleaf: "Uh, erm, uh." Shit.

Looseleaf opts to tell the truth about Arnie, to avoid spinning a dangerous web of lies for herself- after all, Arnie's not worth lying for. She does describe him in as sympathetic terms as she can, though, and asks this guy not to harm him if possible- she doesn't want to break her word to Arnie if she can help it.

Benedict I. (GM): He takes a moment to process this. "...Very well." "My people will be the soul of discretion." "I thank you very much for your generous contribution to the Ecumene of Understanding."

Looseleaf notices that something is wrong.

This guy is the receptionist. He's not a bishop or anything. He's not even wearing priestly vestments- just a nice suit. And he's speaking as though he's in a position of power- "my people", he says.

And after considering various possibilities, she tries something. A shot in the dark, but...

And the way Looseleaf plays this, is... "quit acting like you don't know what I'm talking about, c'mon, the jig is up". She takes out the letter she found in Lumiere's tower and shows it off, as proof!

And this guy keeps denying it, and getting increasingly more panicked, and looking nervously over at Orluthe, and asking her to please stop, shh shh shh shh, and it's when he begs her to have a conversation with him in private please that she makes the connection. If this guy is affiliated with Lumiere, who's apparently affiliated with some sort of secret conspiracy that's affiliated with some sort of deific usurpation... he maybe doesn't want to have that conversation in front of a cleric.

Looseleaf:"Okay, Orluthe, uhm. Sorry, so," Looseleaf whispers into Orluthe's ear. "Long story short, turns out my sister, who left my village way before I did, ended up falling into some kind of magical secret society. The kind of secret society with Hal Lumiere, i.e. 'the torture wizard who came up with all those pain knives that we all got stabbed a lot with', was apparently a very active member of." Benedict I. (GM):Oh my god, um. Looseleaf: "So, uh, I'm kinda freaking out about that, right now, but if my hunches are right then I'm the sister of someone important in their organization?" Benedict I. (GM): As you start whispering, he tries to interrupt. "Please do not say things to him!" "Please let us speak in private!!" Looseleaf: Oh he's freaked out now huh. "Anyways that's why I am actually indeed going to speak, with this guy, in private," Looseleaf finishes. "And if I don't show up in a half-hour or so, then things have probably gone lopsided." "In which case you should find everyone else and tell them to, I dunno, come save me or whatever." "You got all that?" Benedict I. (GM): The rock man looks distraught. Orluthe Chokorov: "I, uh... think so? This is really... I'm not sure it's safe..."

With a good Persuasion roll, Orluthe agrees to stay behind, and the rock man leads Looseleaf into a backroom whose doors and walls seem warded heavily with some sort of abjuration magic. A secret saferoom.

The man describes the problem: the gods don't know that they exist, or didn't until Looseleaf went and told a cleric of Diamode that they existed. Clerics, in this setting, channel divinity literally- their gods come into their heads to do magic for them, meaning anything a cleric knows is something a god can know, if they care to check.

Benedict I. (GM): "Because if the next time Diamode is in that kid, if she goes looking for that memory..." "I mean, she might not. And you didn't mention anything about our aims, so she might consider it beneath her notice." "But that, right there? That was nearly game over." "And I can't just kill you, because if I did, Yomi would end me." Looseleaf: "Yeah, I'm not incredibly foolish, I haven't actually shown anybody else Yomi's letter." "Nobody knows that Lumiere was involved with... deicidal blasphemy." "That's what this is about, right? Thereabouts, in terms of sheer magnitude and hubris?" Benedict I. (GM): He sighs. "It's not like that." "At least, it's not all like that." "The Project is... fractious." "The less you know about the project, the less you're able to carelessly blurt out about the project your cleric friends, or to anyone who tries reading your mind or tricks you into a Zone of Truth..." "The safer we all are." "With as much as you know, you're already dangerous. It'd be best for us- and you- if you dropped this. Never spoke of it to anyone."

Looseleaf points out that it's good that she found the letter, because that tower was sitting abandoned for a year- anyone could've walked in and read it, since it was lying on a bookcase in the open.

This is somehow not taken as good news- when he finds out that the letter could've potentially been read by anyone, that there was a security breach for a year...

Looseleaf: "Look, my man, next time you want to send a letter, by the way, use... use some encoding." "Don't just write things in plaintext like a chump, by the gods." Benedict I. (GM): "He was supposed to burn after reading." Saelhen du Fishercrown: he's too dead for that! Benedict I. (GM): "Wait, you said it was... out in the open?" "But he's dead?" "Either he was an idiot, or... someone else opened his mail." "Except... Yomi should've hand-delivered it, so..." "...well. We'll definitely look into it."

He brings up sending for someone to do memory magic to handle the breach- but he realizes he can't have that done to Looseleaf, because Diamode would notice if someone tampered with her cleric's memories, and someone needs to still know what's up so they can keep Orluthe away from the truth. (Plus, she figures she'd notice the inconsistencies and end up sleuthing it out again.)

Looseleaf asks if Yomi is doing well, and gets... that she's intense, and powerful, and she probably thinks she's "doing well", but... he doesn't know about happy.

Lastly, he shows Looseleaf a symbol- a blank circle, with the elvish character 人 drawn underneath. The symbols of gods are typically circles with a design inside- so the meaning of this and its relationship to the nature of the Project is fairly easy to infer.

Benedict I. (GM): "If you need to prove to someone you're in the know, without blurting out a bunch of dangerous details, this is the mark." He then eats the paper and the graphite stick he used to draw it.

Next time: Saelhen and Oyobi grill the guard Mags for information on the Deathseekers, and connections are made with powerful individuals.

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[bechloeislegit]

PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK - 2019

DAY 2 - ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONING A DEMON (#HW192)

"How long has this stuff been down here?" Emily asked as she looked around the basement.

"Some of it has been here for a while," Chloe responded. "Some of it belongs to us. And, since we're all graduating this year, we decided it was a good time to go through it and get rid of some stuff."

Emily nodded and went to the back corner, where something caught her eye.

"Congratulations on finally graduating by the way," Stacie told Chloe as she moved a box.

"Thanks," Chloe said with a smile. "It's been fun sticking around and singing with the Bellas, but it's time to move on."

"Moving to New York with Beca and Fat Amy doesn't sound much like moving on," Cynthia Rose said with a chuckle.

"Maybe not," Chloe said. "But, baby steps my dear CR. Baby steps."

"Hey, guys," Emily called out from the corner. "What's this?"

The girls walked over to see what Emily had found. Emily was kneeling next to an old trunk. Based on the amount of dust on it, it had been there for quite a while.

"I've never seen that before," Chloe said. "I've been down here so much; I don't know how I missed it. Where did you find it?"

"It was tucked up in that corner with some boxes," Emily responded.

"It looks ancient," CR said. "Let's open it."

"Okay," Emily said, her eyes gleaming as she reached for the latch.

"Wait!" Flo cried out, grabbing Emily's arm. "Maybe we should leave it alone. I'm getting some weird vibes from this thing."

"What kind of weird vibes?" CR asked.

"I can't explain it," Flo said nervously. "But, did you notice how much colder it is down here now? Or feel the cold draft that came blowing through suddenly? Where did that draft come from? Who put that trunk down here?" She asked as she ran her fingers through the dust on the lid. She rubbed her thumb over her fingers before adding, "And left it for so many years?"

The girls looked at one another and then all eyes zeroed in on the trunk.

"Maybe we need to open it to see if there's anything in there to find the owner," Chloe said.

"Open what?" Beca asked from behind the girls, causing them all to jump and squeal.

"Dammit, Beca," Chloe said, slapping at the young brunette. "You scared the hell out of us."

"Sorry," Beca said. "I thought you heard me coming down the stairs."

"It's okay, Beca," Emily said, smiling at the girl. "We just found this old trunk and were trying to decide whether we should open it."

"What's the problem?" Beca asked as she reached out and lifted the lid.

"Wait!" Stacie, CR, and Chloe all cried out.

"Wait for what?" Beca asked. "It's just a bunch of books. Not very exciting."

Emily reached in and pulled out a book. She opened the cover and flipped the pages.

"This is in Latin," Emily said. "Anyone know how to read or speak Latin?"

"Lily does," CR, Beca, and Stacie said simultaneously.

"Why don't we put this away," Chloe said, taking the book from Emily, "and do what we came down here to do? We can ask Lily about this later."

Chloe tossed the book back into the trunk, causing dust to fly everywhere.

"Party pooper," Emily mumbled.

"I heard that, Emily," Chloe said, narrowing her eyes at the young Bella.

"Sorry, Chloe," Emily said, blushing.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

Later that night, Emily waited until she knew all the girls were in their rooms asleep before sneaking down to the basement. She went to the trunk, opened the lid, and pulled out the book she had been looking at earlier.

She closed the lid and sat with her back against the trunk. She looked at the title and read aloud, "Quam vocare daemonem?"

She ran her hand over the cover and admired the raised lettering and leather. She opened the cover and flipped through a few pages before stopping and reading a passage that stood out as it was a stand-alone sentence centered in the middle of the page.

"Qui vocat daemonium de tenebris," Emily read aloud, before mumbling, "I wonder what that means?"

She read the small passage aloud again and shook her head. "I'll have to ask Lily what Qui vocat daemonium de tenebris means," Emily said. "Latin sounds so sophisticated and cool."

Emily felt a chill as she heard the front door of the house slam closed. She jumped up and threw the book back into the trunk. Emily brushed herself off and quietly made her way up the stairs. She hadn't heard any footsteps so she wasn't sure if she would run into someone in the kitchen.

Emily took a deep breath and slowly opened the basement door. She poked her head out and looked toward the kitchen, but didn't see anyone. She opened the door a bit wider so she could get through. Once through, she closed the door quietly behind her.

Emily made it to the kitchen and saw that no one was there. She let out a sigh of relief and continued on her way to the stairs. She stopped when she felt a cold draft blow around her. She looked, and the front door was closed. She checked around her and didn't see anywhere the draft could be coming from, but it encompassed her.

Emily put her arms around herself to ward off the chill. She was going to go up to her room when a voice startled her.

"Emily," the voice called out.

Emily went in circles, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. "Wh-who's there?"

"Emily," the voice said again. "What do you need from me?"

"N-n-need?" Emily asked, her voice breaking. "I don't even know who you are."

"You summoned me," the voice said, booming out from all around Emily.

"Wh-what?" Emily asked, feeling scared. "No, I didn't. I didn't-."

It was then the front door flew open, banging against the wall. Emily's eyes shot toward the sound, and her eyes widened. There was no one there.

Emily realized that a cold wind was blowing in through the now opened door. She let out a breath, and her body relaxed. She took a hesitant step toward the door when it suddenly slammed shut.

Emily was up the stairs and in her room without any sense of how she did it. She hid under her covers, shaking. She eventually fell asleep, but it was a restless sleep.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

The next morning, Emily and the others were awakened to Chloe and Stacie yelling at them to come downstairs immediately.

Emily dragged herself out of bed and followed the girls downstairs. They all stopped and stared.

"What's going on?" Emily asked. She looked around and stood frozen at what she saw. "How did that happen?"

"That's what we'd like to know," Chloe said, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I have no clue," Jessica said. "Everything was fine when I went to bed."

"Same," Ashley said.

"Ask Emily what she did last night," Lily said, looking at the youngest Bella.

"What? Me?" Emily asked, looking from Lily to Chloe and Stacie. "How would I have done this? I'm tall, but I'm pretty sure I could not have lifted that sofa and stuck it to the ceiling like that."

"Did you have help?" Stacie asked accusingly.

"What? No!" Emily exclaimed. "I had nothing to do with this."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, holding out the book Emily had been looking through the night before.

"How? Um, wh-where did you, um, where did you get that?" Emily asked, swallowing hard.

"The trunk where you left it," Lily said with a shrug. "You spoke words from this book aloud didn't you?"

All eyes turned to Emily, wanting to hear her answer.

"I, uh, may have," Emily said. "You think that's why this happened? Because I read some words from that book?"

"The book's title translates to How to Summon a Demon," Lily said. "I need to know exactly what words you spoke."

"Oh, my stars," Emily said aghast. "Do you think I summoned a demon? For real?"

Tears came to Emily's eyes as she looked around at the group. They all avoided her gaze and looked down at the floor.

When her eyes reached Lily, she found the dark eyes of the beatboxer staring back at her. Lily nodded slightly, and Emily let out a sob.

"Oh, God," Emily cried and let the tears fall.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

It took the girls a bit of time to get Emily to stop crying and calm down.

"Emily," Lily said, standing in front of the youngest Bella. Emily looked at her. "I need to know what words you spoke out loud."

"I'm not sure," Emily said, anxiety in her voice. She furrowed her brow and thought for a moment. "I read the title and then flipped through the pages. I stopped on a passage that was on a line by itself and centered on the page. I read it out loud once and wondered what it meant. I reread it, but I still couldn't figure it out. I then said I needed to ask you what the phrase meant. Each time I read the phrase, I spoke it out loud. So, I did say it out loud three times."

"Okay-"

"Look out," Stacie yelled, grabbing Emily and Lily and pulling them toward her.

The sofa crashed down from the ceiling, landing in the very spot the two girls had been standing.

"Everybody out!" Beca and Chloe yelled, pushing the girls toward the hallway.

Just as the last Bella cleared the door, the rest of the furniture fell from the ceiling.

"What the Hell?" Chloe exclaimed as she looked into the living room. "How did that happen?"

The girls were all staring at the furniture that had fallen; everything was upright and in its proper place.

"Emily, you need to find that passage you read," Cynthia Rose said. "I think you summoned a demon. For real!"

"Oh, um," Emily stuttered and looked at the book in Lily's hand. "Lily, may I have the book? I'll, uh, look to see if I can find the passage I read."

Lily handed the book to Emily. Emily licked her lips and opened the book. She started to read something, and Lily stopped her.

"Stop! Don't read anything out loud," Lily told her. "If you see the passage that you read last night, show it to me. Okay?"

Emily swallowed and nodded. The girls stood huddled together while Emily went through the book. She stopped at a page and furrowed her brow. She silently mouthed the words and shook her head. "That's not it," she mumbled.

Emily looked around at the girls staring at her. "Um, could you guys maybe make breakfast or something? You're making me nervous."

"Em's right," Chloe said. "Jessica, you and Beca help me with breakfast. The rest of you do whatever it is you do, and we'll let you know when breakfast is ready."

Before anyone could move or respond a low moaning could be heard. A cold draft blew through the hallway, and suddenly every door in the house opened and slammed closed.

The girls grabbed onto each other, looking all around. Every girl jumped when a voice suddenly boomed out, "Emily!"

"That's the voice I heard last night," Emily whispered. "It asked me why I summoned it. I didn't know I did."

"Ask who they are," Lily instructed.

"Um, wh-who are you?" Emily asked.

"You know who I am," the disembodied voice responded.

Emily looked at Lily. "Ask what you should call them."

"I, I know yo-you're a demon," Emily said, looking all around. "But what should I call you? Do you have a name?"

"That is an interesting question," the voice responded. "You may call me Lilith."

"Lilith?" Beca scoffed. "What the hell kind of a demon name is that?"

"Silence!" Lilith's voice boomed out. "I will only speak to Emily."

Emily's eyes widened, and she looked at Beca. She could see that Beca didn't like being yelled at.

"Beca, please?" Emily beseeched their Captain. "Calm down. I'll ask whatever anyone wants. But, please, let me do it."

Beca took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Fine."

"You are a demon, correct?" Emily asked.

"Yes," Lilith's voice echoed around them, her frustration coming through loud and clear. "We've already established this."

"Right, right," Emily mumbled. "Um-"

"Ask her what demon she is," Lily whispered.

"What demon are you?" Emily asked.

"This is a waste of time," Lilith's voice said. "But, since you want to know. In Hebrew myth, I am said to be Adam's first wife, and later I was wife to Satan. According to many demonologists, I, or Lilith, preside over Succubi. It is also believed that I attempt to destroy newborn infants." Lilith gave an evil chuckle. "For this reason, the practice of writing a formula to drive me away on all four corners of the birth chamber was adopted by the Jews." Lilith's voice paused before saying, "I am Lilith, Princess of Hell."

"Shit," Lily mumbled.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

"The Princess of Hell?" Emily repeated. "That sounds bad. Is that bad?"

"It's bad," Lily responded.

"What do we do?" Chloe asked, holding Beca's arm for dear life.

"Maybe we can get her to go away on her own," Cynthia Rose suggested.

"Or we can just ask her to leave," Jessica offered.

"You do know I can hear you, right?" Lilith's voice asked. "I will leave, but I will be back. I was summoned from here, so this is my home base." There was a sinister chuckle. "I don't mind going out into the world for a bit. I'm sure I can find something to occupy my time."

There was a cackling laugh, followed by the front door flying open. The cold draft blew in, and the girls huddled together, shuddering from the chill. They collectively jumped when the door slammed closed on its own.

"Is she really gone?" Beca asked, looking around.

"Yes," Lily said. "But she will be back. We need to let Emily find the passage she spoke so I can figure out which spell will send her back."

"I'll, um, I'll keep checking the book," Emily said.

"I'll stay with Emily," Lily said. "You girls get started on breakfast and whatever it is you were going to do."

"Can we leave the house?" Stacie asked. "I need to study at the library."

"Go ahead," Chloe said. "Someone will text you when you need to come back."

"Thanks," Stacie said as she made her way to the door.

The girls all watched as Stacie left. Beca turned to Chloe.

"I have a shift at the station," Beca said. "Someone else will have to help with breakfast."

"Go ahead, Beca," Chloe said. "We'll figure something out.

"I'll help with breakfast," Ashley said. "Don't worry about it, Beca. I got it covered."

"Could you guys get on it already?" Fat Amy asked.

"Thanks, Ash," Beca said, shaking her head at Fat Amy.

"I'm so hungry!" Amy whined. She gave Ashley and Jessica a nudge toward the kitchen. "Let's get started on that breakfast, STAT!"

Beca looked at Chloe and said, "I need to go change." Chloe gave her a small smile, and Beca nodded her head before going upstairs to change.

About twenty minutes later, Beca hurried into the kitchen to find Chloe, Jessica, and Ashley working in tandem to prepare breakfast. Jessica was whipping up some eggs in a large bowl to make scrambled eggs. The bacon was in the oven and was almost ready.

Chloe was at the counter, watching over the pancakes that were cooking on the griddle.

"Coffee ready yet?" Beca asked as she looked over Chloe's shoulder.

"Here you go," Chloe said, reaching for a thermos and lunch bag. She turned to hand the thermos to Beca. "And take this." Chloe held up the bag. "You need to eat, too."

Beca took the thermos and the bag. "Thanks, Chlo," she said shyly. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Becs," Chloe said with a big smile. "Now get out of here before you're late."

"Yes, ma'am," Beca said and quickly kissed Chloe's cheek. Then, with a two-fingered salute, she hurried out of the kitchen, calling out, "Later girls!"

The smile never left Chloe's face as she watched Beca rush off. Jessica and Ashley looked at each other with knowing smiles.

Chloe let out a sigh and turned back to the counter to take the pancakes off the griddle and put them on a platter next to the stove. She poured more batter as Jessica placed a large skillet on the stove and turned it on.

Jessica was pouring the eggs into the pan when the timer on the stove went off. She placed the bowl on the counter and grabbed the potholders. She took the bacon out of the oven and set them to the side while she finished the eggs.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

Meanwhile, over at the Library, Stacie found a table and set up her work area before going to the stacks and pulling the books she needed. She was reading, trying to summarize what she learned when another student came rushing in and flopped down in the chair at her table. She glanced at her, but the girl seemed upset, so Stacie shrugged and went back to her work.

"It was awful," Stacie heard a voice say. "It was, it was horrible."

Stacie looked over at the girl and saw that she was on the phone. She let out a heavy sigh, wanting the girl to look at her. The girl did look and apologized when she realized she had disturbed Stacie.

"Sorry," the girl said.

"It's okay," Stacie said. "But, could you keep your voice down or maybe take the call somewhere else? I really need to get through this paper."

"Uh, yeah, sure," the girl said and stood as if to leave. "Um, have you heard about anything strange happening on campus?"

"Why do you ask?" Stacie asked, looking at the girl nervously.

"Well, I just saw-," the girl started but stopped abruptly. "Uhm, never mind. It's probably nothing."

"Tell me," Stacie said, sitting up straighter. "What did you see?"

The girl looked around and hesitated. She realized she was still on the phone and told the person she'd call her back. She ended the call and sat in the chair across from Stacie.

"Well?" Stacie said and stared at the girl.

"I saw a car run into something," the girl said. "Only, there wasn't anything there. But the car still hit something, and the front end totally crumpled like an, um, accordion. I looked inside the car; there was so much blood I don't think the driver could have survived. I freaked out a bit and didn't want to wait around to find out, so I left, and this was the first building I came to. It was just so weird, you know? I mean to see a car just crumple like that. I heard the crash, and I saw the car, but there was nothing in front of the car for it to hit. That's weird, right?"

"It does sound weird," Stacie said, jumping up from her seat. "Um, I'm sorry, I have to go."

Stacie gathered up her stuff and rushed off, leaving the bewildered girl still sitting at the table.

** PITCH PERFECT HORROR WEEK 2019 - DAY 2 **

Jesse came running into the station, breathing hard and sweating.

"Whoa, Jesse," Beca said, grabbing his arms to keep him from running into her. "Where's the fire, dude?"

"Something," Jesse replied. "Big. Weird stuff." Jesse was trying to catch his breath and talk at the same time. His hands were moving all over the place.

"Take a minute," Beca said. "Calm down. Breathe in and hold it. Now let it out slowly." Jesse did as Beca instructed. "That's it. Now do it again. Good, good. One more time."

Jesse took in a deep breath and held it for the count of five and then slowly let it out. "That's better," he mumbled.

"Now," Beca said. "What's going on?"

"There is some weird stuff happening around campus," Jesse blurted out, causing Beca to stiffen.

"Weird? What do you mean by weird stuff?"

"I heard a car crashed into nothing and crumpled," Jesse said. "The person inside didn't make it. And then I saw Amber, and she said that some kid on a skateboard got run over, but no one saw a car. It was like one minute he was skateboarding down the street, and the next he was flying through the air and hitting the ground about twenty feet away."

"Is he, um, is he okay?"

"I don't know."

"I need to get back to the Bellas House," Beca said, gathering her stuff. "Can you finish my shift?"

"Sure, Beca," Jesse said. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Beca said honestly. "I just need to, um, go home and, um, check on a few things."

"Okay," Jesse said. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, bye," Beca said and hurried out the door.

Beca took off at a run to get back to the Bellas House. She was almost home when she saw Stacie running toward the house from the opposite direction.

They both reached the walkway to the house at about the same time.

"What's got your running?" Stacie wheezed out, holding her side.

"Something's happening," pant, pant. "And I think it might," pant, groan, "have something to do with our demon from this morning."

"Same," Stacie said. "We should get inside and check on the girls."

"Let's go," Beca said and started jogging to the front door.

Stacie was hot on her heels when Beca opened the door and rushed in, looking around.

"Anybody home?" Beca yelled out.

"Beca," Stacie said, slapping at Beca's arm.

"What?" Beca barked out, turning to look at Stacie.

Stacie pointed into the living room, and Beca furrowed her brow. She stepped closer to Stacie and looked into the living room. Her eyes widened.

"What the actual fuck?!"

The two girls hurried into the living room, staring up at the ceiling. Or rather, staring up at the Bellas all stuck to the ceiling.

"What the fuck happened?" Beca asked as she stood under Chloe.

"Mmph!" Chloe mumbled.

"What?" Beca asked.

Chloe moved one arm and pointed to her mouth. Beca looked closer and could see what looked like stitches along Chloe's lips.

"She stitched your mouths closed?"

Chloe nodded and tried to release her body. She groaned in frustration.

"Stop moving!" Beca yelled. "Stacie and I will get you girls down. Just relax, okay?"

The girls all looked at Beca and Stacie and nodded.

"Good," Stacie said with a nod. "Beca, what are we going to do?"

"We're going to figure out a way to get them down," Beca said.

She stepped back and went around the room, looking at each of the girls.

"I think I have an idea," Beca whispered and pulled Stacie into the hallway.

"What are you thinking?"

"We pull them down," Beca said. "Chloe was able to move her arm. We have them reach their arms down, and we grab their hands and pull them down."

"Won't they get hurt if we do that?"

"We'll catch them before they hit the floor."

"That sounds reasonable."

"Yeah," Beca said. "I mean we should start with the smallest and work up to CR and Amy."

"I agree," Stacie said.

The two girls re-entered the living room, getting the girls' attention.

"Okay," Beca said. "We have an idea, and we need everyone to pay attention, okay?" At everyone's nod, Beca continued. "Stacie and I are going to pull you down off the ceiling. We're going to start with Lily first and work our way to Amy and CR. Everyone understand?"

A chorus of mumbled indistinguishable sounds came from the girls.

"Stop, stop!" Stacie yelled, waving her hands. "Just nod your heads if you understand."

The girls all nodded; Stacie and Beca stood beneath Lily.

"Okay, Lily," Stacie said. "Can you move your arms from the ceiling?"

Lily was able to get her arms down. They hung beneath her, and Stacie reached for her hands and grabbed them both firmly.

"Okay," Stacie said. "On the count of three, I'm going to pull. Beca, you stand under her, ready to catch her if she falls."

"Got it," Beca said, and moved into position. "Ready."

"Here we go," Stacie said. "1-2-3!" Stacie pulled, and Lily fell from the ceiling.

Beca squealed and stepped back. Stacie managed to keep Lily from hitting the floor. Lily gave Beca a dirty look.

"Sorry," Beca said sheepishly. "I guess I wasn't really ready?"

"Whatever," Lily said and turned to help Stacie.

"Next is Flo," Stacie said.

Lily and Beca got into position and helped get Flo off the ceiling. Each girl would then help with the next until they only had Amy left.

"Okay, girls," Stacie said. "Everyone ready."

The girls got into place and responded, "Ready!"

Stacie pulled Amy's hands, and the Aussie fell from the ceiling like a rock, taking out a couple of the Bellas as she hit the ground.

"Shit!" Beca yelled as a body crashed down on to her.

"Ouch!" Emily yelled.

"Oh, my God!" Stacie yelled as she stood to help Amy up. "Are you okay, Amy?"

"I, I think so," Fat Amy responded. She looked up at the ceiling and then around at the girls. "Um, thanks for getting me down."

"What the hell happened?" Beca asked.

The girls started talking at once, and Beca couldn't understand anything they were saying.

"QUIET!" Beca yelled, causing the girls' mouths to snap shut. "Chloe. What happened?"

"I'm not sure, Becs," Chloe said, somewhat flustered. "We were talking about the demon and then all of a sudden we were stuck to the ceiling."

"It had to have been Lilith," Lily said.

"She's right," Stacie said. "Did you hear her say anything?"

"No," CR said. "We were talking, and then we were on the ceiling. No warning, no nothing."

"What are you doing home?" Chloe asked Beca. "I thought you had a shift at the station."

"I do, did," Beca said. "But some weird stuff has been happening around campus. I figured it had to do with our demon, so I came home to check on you girls."

"Same here," Stacie said.

Stacie and Beca told the girls about the events they heard had happened that morning.

"I think we can send her back to where she came from," Lily said. "Emily found the passage she spoke. I found another spell that will get rid of her from our world."

"What are we waiting for?" Jessica asked. "Let's do it."

"Fine," Lily said. "Emily? Are you ready?"

"Um, Su-sure," Emily said with a nervous smile.

"Okay," Lily said, taking charge. "We need to go to the basement."

"Why?" Ashley asked.

"Because that's where Emily summoned Lilith," Lily said. "We have to make sure Lilith is around here when Emily says the spell."

"Oh, okay," Ashley said.

The girls followed Lily and Emily to the basement. They gathered around the trunk in the back corner, and Lily pulled out a paper.

"Lilith? Lilith are you here?" Lily called out.

Nothing. No voice, no feeling. Just nothing.

"Try again, Lily," Chloe said.

"Lilith? Are you-"

"No, wait," Beca said. "Emily, you call for her. Remember this morning she said she would only talk to you?"

"Oh, yeah. Right," Emily said and swallowed loudly. "Lil-" Emily's voice squeaked, and she cleared her throat. "Sorry. Lilith? Are you here?"

The girls all shivered and started looking around.

"She's here," CR said.

"Emily," Lilith's voice called out. "Have you decided on why you summoned me?"

"Um, no, yes, umm-"

"No," Lily said. "It was an accident. You were not meant to be summoned."

"Lily, I said earlier I would only speak with Emily."

"I know," Lily responded. "And I apologize, but she's afraid. So, I'm going to speak for her."

"P-p-please?" Emily muttered. "I, uh, I can't do it."

"Fine," Lilith's responded with a sigh.

Lily handed Emily the paper she had been holding. She leaned in and whispered. "Get ready. I'm going to distract her, and you say the spell out loud. Loud enough to be heard by everyone. You need to get it out three times. Okay?"

Emily swallowed again and nodded.

"Lilith," Lily called out. "Did you have anything to do with the incidents that were reported around campus today?"

"I was bored," Lilith said. "I had to find something to keep me occupied."

"They were innocent," Chloe exclaimed. "How dare you!"

"Claude ostium inferni redire aeternum," Emily spoke aloud.

"No one is innocent, my dear child," Lilith scolded.

"Claude ostium inferni redire aeternum."

"Emily?" Lilith asked, voice wavering slightly. "What are you doing?"

"Claude ostium-"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Say it, Emily!" Lily yelled.

"Claude ostium inferni redire aeternum!"

Suddenly, Emily was thrown up to the ceiling, where she bounced off and fell toward the ground. Chloe, CR, and Stacie were able to catch her before she hit the floor.

The girls gathered around Emily, checking to make sure she was alright.

Lily stood rigid, looking around the basement.

"I'm fine," Emily said, stretching her back. "I'll probably have a bruise later. But, for now, I'm good."

"Hey," Jessica said. "Does it feel warmer to anyone else?"

The girls all nodded and looked around. Lily stepped back to the group.

"Lilith is gone," Lily declared.

"What did Emily say to get rid of her?" Flo asked.

"The words she spoke translate to return to hell and close the entry door for all eternity," Lily said.

"Does that mean that no one can summon her again?" Emily asked.

"I really don't know," Lily said.

The girls looked at each other and then, without speaking, turned toward the stairs. One Bella hung back from the others and grabbed the book Emily had read from. She quickly flipped through the pages and smiled.

She tucked the book into the back of her pants and followed the other girls out of the basement.

[seekingstars]

38, by Layli Long Soldier

Here, the sentence will be respected.

I will compose each sentence with care by minding what the rules of writing dictate.

For example, all sentences will begin with capital letters.

Likewise, the history of the sentence will be honored by ending each one with appropriate punctuation such as a period or question mark, thus bringing the idea to (momentary) completion.

You may like to know, I do not consider this a “creative piece.”

In other words, I do not regard this as a poem of great imagination or a work of fiction.

Also, historical events will not be dramatized for an interesting read.

Therefore, I feel most responsible to the orderly sentence; conveyor of thought.

That said, I will begin:

You may or may not have heard about the Dakota 38.

If this is the first time you’ve heard of it, you might wonder, “What is the Dakota 38?”

The Dakota 38 refers to thirty-eight Dakota men who were executed by hanging, under orders from President Abraham Lincoln.

To date, this is the largest “legal” mass execution in U.S. history.

The hanging took place on December 26th, 1862—the day after Christmas.

This was the same week that President Lincoln signed The Emancipation Proclamation.

In the preceding sentence, I italicize “same week” for emphasis.

There was a movie titled Lincoln about the presidency of Abraham Lincoln.

The signing of The Emancipation Proclamation was included in the film Lincoln; the hanging of the Dakota 38 was not.

In any case, you might be asking, “Why were thirty-eight Dakota men hung?”

As a side note, the past tense of hang is hung, but when referring to the capital punishment of hanging, the correct tense is hanged.

So it’s possible that you’re asking, “Why were thirty-eight Dakota men hanged?”

They were hanged for The Sioux Uprising.

I want to tell you about The Sioux Uprising, but I don’t know where to begin.

I may jump around and details will not unfold in chronological order.

Keep in mind, I am not a historian.

So I will recount facts as best as I can, given limited resources and understanding.

Before Minnesota was a state, the Minnesota region, generally speaking, was the traditional homeland for Dakota, Anishnaabeg and Ho-Chunk people.

During the 1800s, when the U.S. expanded territory, they “purchased” land from the Dakota people as well as the other tribes.

But another way to understand that sort of “purchase” is: Dakota leaders ceded land to the U.S. Government in exchange for money and goods, but most importantly, the safety of their people.

Some say that Dakota leaders did not understand the terms they were entering, or they never would have agreed.

Even others call the entire negotiation, “trickery.”

But to make whatever-it-was official and binding, the U. S. Government drew up an initial treaty.

This treaty was later replaced by another (more convenient) treaty, and then another.

I’ve had difficulty unraveling the terms of these treaties, given the legal speak and congressional language.

As treaties were abrogated (broken) and new treaties were drafted, one after another, the new treaties often referenced old defunct treaties and it is a muddy, switchback trail to follow.

Although I often feel lost on this trail, I know I am not alone.

However, as best as I can put the facts together, in 1851, Dakota territory was contained to a 12-mile by 150-mile long strip along the Minnesota river.

But just seven years later, in 1858, the northern portion was ceded (taken) and the southern portion was (conveniently) allotted, which reduced Dakota land to a stark 10-mile tract.

These amended and broken treaties are often referred to as The Minnesota Treaties.

The word Minnesota comes from mni which means water; sota which means turbid.

Synonyms for turbid include muddy, unclear, cloudy, confused and smoky.

Everything is in the language we use.

For example, a treaty is, essentially, a contract between two sovereign nations.

The U.S. treaties with the Dakota Nation were legal contracts that promised money.

It could be said, this money was payment for the land the Dakota ceded; for living within assigned boundaries (a reservation); and for relinquishing rights to their vast hunting territory which, in turn, made Dakota people dependent on other means to survive: money.

The previous sentence is circular, which is akin to so many aspects of history.

As you may have guessed by now, the money promised in the turbid treaties did not make it into the hands of Dakota people.

In addition, local government traders would not offer credit to “Indians” to purchase food or goods.

Without money, store credit or rights to hunt beyond their 10-mile tract of land, Dakota people began to starve.

The Dakota people were starving.

The Dakota people starved.

In the preceding sentence, the word “starved” does not need italics for emphasis.

One should read, “The Dakota people starved,” as a straightforward and plainly stated fact.

As a result—and without other options but to continue to starve—Dakota people retaliated.

Dakota warriors organized, struck out and killed settlers and traders.

This revolt is called The Sioux Uprising.

Eventually, the U.S. Cavalry came to Mnisota to confront the Uprising.

Over one thousand Dakota people were sent to prison.

As already mentioned, thirty-eight Dakota men were subsequently hanged.

After the hanging, those one thousand Dakota prisoners were released.

However, as further consequence, what remained of Dakota territory in Mnisota was dissolved (stolen).

The Dakota people had no land to return to.

This means they were exiled.

Homeless, the Dakota people of Mnisota were relocated (forced) onto reservations in South Dakota and Nebraska.

Now, every year, a group called the The Dakota 38 + 2 Riders conduct a memorial horse ride from Lower Brule, South Dakota to Mankato, Mnisota.

The Memorial Riders travel 325 miles on horseback for eighteen days, sometimes through sub-zero blizzards.

They conclude their journey on December 26th, the day of the hanging.

Memorials help focus our memory on particular people or events.

Often, memorials come in the forms of plaques, statues or gravestones.

The memorial for the Dakota 38 is not an object inscribed with words, but an act.

Yet, I started this piece (which I do not consider a poem or work of fiction) because I was interested in writing about grasses.

So, there is one other event to include, although it’s not in chronological order and we must backtrack a little.

When the Dakota people were starving, as you may remember, government traders would not extend store credit to “Indians.”

One trader named Andrew Myrick is famous for his refusal to provide credit to Dakotas by saying, “If they are hungry, let them eat grass.”

There are variations of Myrick’s words, but they are all something to that effect.

When settlers and traders were killed during the Sioux Uprising, one of the first to be executed by the Dakota was Andrew Myrick.

When Myrick’s body was found,                              

                       his mouth was stuffed with grass.

I am inclined to call this act by the Dakota warriors a poem.

There’s irony in their poem.

There was no text.

“Real” poems do not “really” require words.

I have italicized the previous sentence to indicate inner dialogue; a revealing moment.

But, on second thought, the particular words “Let them eat grass,” click the gears of the poem into place.

So, we could also say, language and word choice are crucial to the poem’s work.

Things are circling back again.

Sometimes, when in a circle, if I wish to exit, I must leap.

And let the body                                          swing.                                

From the platform.

         Out      

                    to the grasses.

[bigskydreaming]

LOL whoops, I was going through my Drafts folder to clean it out and found a post I started writing ages ago that includes scans from Uncanny X-Men #319 aka my very first comic book ever aka the reason I stan Bobby Drake above any and every character ever until the end of time, aka the comicbook I credit with literally saving my life when I was ten years old.

Which is when I bought it at Toys R Us with my Christmas money, and then was a direct catalyst leading to the night just a couple weeks later when I put my foot down at age ten and actually fought my parents on going to see my abusive birth mother anymore as I’d been forced to go to her apartment for weekly custody visits every Tuesday night for years so that my dad could pacify her father who was literally keeping my dad’s development company afloat singlehandedly with his funding, because Bobby blowing up at his bigoted asshole of a father and calling him out for being wrong was literally the first piece of media I can ever remember being exposed to where the hero told his parents they were wrong and didnt know what they were talking about and refused to be gaslit by them and where the narrative actually SUPPORTED them for this and justified it and said they were right and their parents were wrong, which I’d always deep down known to be true every time my parents tried to tell me WHY i had to see Jenny every week and sometimes we gotta do things even if we dont want to blah blah except I never knew what to say or how to refute their BS or call it out as wrong and was like....mostly convinced I was wrong for thinking they didnt know what was right or best, until Uncanny XMen #319 and Bobby literally validated my gut feeling that sometimes, parents are full of shit and you should say so, and then Rogue backed him up and further validated this, and so I did, I said so, and defied them for the first time ever because of it and I fully believe this literally saved my life because the thing that never failed to make Jenny actually violent instead of just delusional was when something threatened one of her delusions or exposed it as fake, and while a lot of fucked up shit happened in her apartment when I was kid the most persistent delusion she ever had and the one I heard about for years was her obsession with saying my REAL father was this guy named Peter she’d been stalking for years and who had a restraining order out on her and everything, except problem was, I look a LOT like my dad and that got more and more pronounced the older I got which in hindsight pretty obviously went hand in hand with how often/to what degree/in what ways she got violent with me as I aged, and based on how old I was by the time pretty much everyone I met commented on how much I looked like my dad and how uncanny it was, and how violent she got whenever someone, let alone me, poked holes in that specific delusion about Peter being my real father, I fully and completely believe I would not have made it to puberty if I hadn’t insisted on not seeing her anymore when I was ten if nothing else ever changed, and that is why I am so so hardcore on the subject of just how much fiction matters and can change lives and the importance of creative responsibility and being aware of our impact as content creators and have zero patience for ‘its just fiction’ because lolol fuck u, when I was ten years old a comic book literally showed me how to save my own life and put an end to my weekly abuse that stretched back years and that is also why Bobby Drake will always be my personal hero and I can not be remotely rational or objective about him and mostly don’t bother trying lololol 

Annnnnyway, so guess who’s rereading Uncanny X-Men #319 right now and feeling all the Feels haha is it this dumbass? IT JUST MIGHT BE, WHOOPS.

[staysuki]

OK FIRST OF ALL, WTF AHAHHAHAHAHAHAA i enjoyed reading it as much as you had fun writing it honestly HAHAHA like imagine entering what you supposed shouldve been a formal interview then just got greeted “welcome to penis heart enterprise.” out of nowhere XD but srsly tho, if ever in the future id be working in a company with a similar name as that ,,, i would laughed my ass off the moment i filled up the application form lol

AND GIRL “well, we make penises.” -> SO SUS I TELL U! at first i thought you really outdid yourself and wrote felix as someone who makes literal penises 👁🩸👄💧👁 "we all have a heart for penises" Y^Y yes we stan a superior writer who has pp hair 🤩

and how tf does a dick tape looks like?????? pls i need a drawing asap ! if its cool as it sounds, maybe ill try finding one some day </3

AND THE ENDING??? I DIDNT REALLY THINK THAT YOULL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY TO INCORPORATE THAT SCENE 😭😭😭 well i honestly didnt expect you to take the 'writing of PP HEART' seriously. i just woke up and saw an update and i was like "wtf she really did write it lmao"

plus, the story turned a 180 degree turn. at first it was all penises and crack but it ended like a high school romance novel LMAO BUT IT MADE ME FLUSTERED??? is this normal anymore. nani.

i said penises for the past 12 hours more times than i did my whole life 👁🩸👄💧👁

anyways its also humorous like the writing is so detailed and good and superior and all that shit but its abt dicks lmao GOOD JOB WITH THE STORY THO AHHAHAHAAHAHA it made me laugh,,, i now have the motivation to attend classes 😌😌😌 - BS

penis heart enterprise™️, i'm trademarking that.

I DIDNT WANNA GO FULL NSFW SPG 18+ ON THIS FIC 😩. sorta challenged myself on making a penis-centered fic that still has some innocence to it.

"—who has pp hair" THAT SOUNDS SO SKETCH PLS 😭. i think wE ALL have pp hair 🤨

first i thought "oh hey let me just see if google has some funny ones"-*starts typing dick tape*-"—nOPe nevermind." that's a bad idea if i've ever heard one so here, i drew my own rendition (attached below).

IT WAS A CHALLENGE. HAD ZERO IDEA HOW TO INCORPORATE THAT ROMANCE SCENE BUT I diD it AnyWays ~

Also, i take writing fics vERy sErioUsLy 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 Penis Heart™️ is a mAsTerpiece. jkjk, all of my practice fics are bizarre fever dreams, although i think PP Heart would take the cake in the most outlandish crack category. also for some reason, most of my weird practice fics are felix-main, i gotta stop doing that to the poor guy 💀

JSHWHSHSHS WELL, IT WAS FUN. Mr. Boss Man CEO Lee Felix has the hots for y/n 🥵. Being flustered with a fic with a man that makes penis items for a living ✨ that is you now.

penis heart is the new bloody mary. penis penis penis

And thank you 😌 maybe i should reveal more of my practice fics next time. i'm glad PENIS HEART™️ gave you the motivation to attend class.

and now for the awaited dick tape reveal: (or alternatively, CEO Felix's product drafts)

time to burn this right after.

probably not a drawing you wanted to see in such a fine morning, i apologize.

[whtaft]

1-99 you're doing it too this time

I know I deserve this. But. 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

These Days by Nico

Sleepyhead by Passion Pit

Sleeping Lessons by The Shins

Up from Below by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My ~ one true love ~ or Ruth Bader Ginsberg

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“When you fill a page, try drafting that section, because writing out your ideas can improve your thinking at every stage of your project.” This is what I get for having the Chicago Manuel of Style out.

4: What do you think about most?

How worried I am about getting a job

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Oh god this is weird without context: “The strange thing is that she somehow thinks that some cat lady's crafts belong in a museum. What makes them significant?”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With, but not a lot of them

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I have double jointed thumbs

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all amazing

Boys need to work harder

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I... don’t believe so? My high school crush once told me that I’m “not the sort of girl people write songs about” which was great for my self-esteem

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I genuinely don’t know

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

YUP

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

NOPE, IT’S ONE OF MY PHOBIAS

13: What’s your religion?

Judaism

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking my dog

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

The Shins

17: What was the last lie you told?

That I was feeling okay

18: Do you believe in karma?

Not really

19: What does your URL mean?

William Howard Taft

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: I’m very sensitive

Strength: I’m a good writer

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Right now? Travis McElroy

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

I cry and write something shitty on Tumblr about it

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Tsum tsum!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no; overall, I’m more okay than not okay

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate the sound of my upstairs neighbors clomping around; love the sound of Monty’s tail whacking something as it wags

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I went to a different college where I was happier

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right: pillow

Left: PUPPY DOG

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I can’t smell anything because allergies

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

@stevebarnacles​‘ blog

Just kidding

This very creepy bed and breakfast in Ohio

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast because I’ve never been to West

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I don’t like that I’m this way, but Marcus Mumford

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Dogs

36: Define Art.

Do you like it? Then it’s art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Ehhh sort of

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Getting colder

39: What time is it?

9:03

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Don’t call me out like this

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

No???

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Unless you count whtaft or mambo, then no

44: What was the last film you saw?

Labyrinth!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

My ear drums rupture every couple years and it’s awful

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, the scary mother fuckers

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

TAZ and MBMBAM

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Ofc

50: Do you believe in magic?

Yes, to an extent

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Y U P

52: What is your astrological sign?

Capricorn

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A movie ticket to see Labyrinth

55: Love or lust?

Love

56: In a relationship?

In my dreams

57: How many relationships have you had?

Classified

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No

59: Where were you yesterday?

Home and the movie theater

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I am sitting on a blanket that has pink on it

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Hell no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

MONTY

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

... Is this a thing that people have? Because I don’t have any

64: Where is your best friend?

Canada

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@biblionerd07

@hakunahistata

@stevebarnacles

@relenafanel

@n0tdrunk

66: What is your heritage?

Eastern European Jewish/German Catholic

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Just falling asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

He doesn’t have one

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Um. Yes. Why is this phrased this way? It’d be a lot better if it asked if I’d gotten myself off today, which is also yes.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

No

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get the dog, bring him to the office, and take care of him there until your boss gets annoyed but doesn’t fire you

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

TELL EVERYONE

Go to Disney World

FUCK YEAH

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hot Patootie from Rocky Horror

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

Classified

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Ummm I’ve never been in one, so I’m not an expert, but I think you gotta be on the same level

77: How can I win your heart?

Like, just be nice to me and I’ll probably fall in love with you

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

No, and it’s a dangerous myth to propagate

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Getting Monty

80: What size shoes do you wear?

6-7

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Probably just my name; I don’t really know of anything else that I want to carry with me like that

82: What is your favourite word?

Monty

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Monty

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Fuck a duck

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Dark green/black/maroon

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s of Sora, Pooh, Piglet and Tigger from Kingdom Hearts

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

The Cheeto 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Who my crush is

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d probably just die, let’s be real

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I’d like to go back to when I met Sebastian Stan again and wear something different this time

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The night where I almost committed suicide

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Yo-Yo Ma

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’m gonna go to NYC to visit @hakunahistata

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I can’t remember an instance but I was also a baby, so maybe then

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

CHILL THE FUCK OUT

[alphacrone]

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol

ok but imagine 

Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn't tell them about Jack, thinks it's for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 

and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he's been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys

and he talks about the team a LOT 

Jack's one of his best friends and he's just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack

(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)

but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty's always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky's secret boyfriend. 

 the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who's stolen Bitty's heart

Bitty is both confused and mortified

“No, Mother,” he says. “Chowder is my friend, I mean look at him, that sweet precious baby fawn of a goalie-”

Suzanne is Not Convinced

“Mhmm,” she replies. “Sure, baby. Sure.” 

but bitty can’t disobey his mother, so he drags the Frogs into the kitchen and introduces them all at once

so dex is like “um ok nice to meet you ma’am” and nursey’s all “sup mrs. b” and then Chowder - sweet Chowder - goes over and hugs her and starts rambling on a mile a minute about how much the team loves bitty and gosh it’s so nice to meet you, mrs. bitty’s mom, thank you for the care packages and oh do you watch hockey what team do you root for my team’s the sharks they’re ‘swawesome hey are you coming to our game tonight i think the coaches are gonna start bitty which is So Great because bitty is So Great of course the entire team is So Great but you know we all just love bitty So Much-!

Suzanne is Very Much Convinced

bitty’s gone bright red and none of the Frogs can figure out why

so i think by this point Ransom & Holster have a running joke about Bitty’s Secret Boyfriend bc, even tho they know, they’re Major Shitheads

(”Who’re you texting, Bits?” “Oh, uh, Jack.” “Pshyeah right, look at that blush. Who are you really texting?” “Oh, my God, I swear I’m just texting Jack.” “Bro, it’s gotta be your secret boyfriend.” “Adam Birkholtz, I swear to Jesus-”)

so R&H are messing around in the kitchen as bitty and his mom make a pre-game pie or something and bitty’s texting with jack about how mortifying his day has been when, of course, it gets worse

“Dude, stop texting your Secret Boyfriend,” Ransom says, giving Bitty a shit-eating grin.

bitty goes super pale. 

normally the joke is just kind of annoying but His Mother is Right Here And

Suzanne perks up.

“What was that?” She asks in that slow, sweet, unassuming way that all middle aged southern ladies use when they smell blood in the water

Bitty knows he’s Fucked

“Oh, hahahaha, just an inside joke, Mama, I’m just texting Jack, these boys and their silly little jokes, tell her it’s a joke, Justin”

so now Suzanne is almost certain Bitty’s hiding a boyfriend from her. she gets it, her mama never knew about half the guys she dated and she never had to Come Out to her mama. but Suzanne is not a saint and privacy doesn’t really exist when it’s your flesh and blood

“So, Adam. Justin. Tell me more about that sweet, little Christopher,” she says. “He’s real cute. Don’t you think so, Dicky?” 

to bitty’s delight, though, R&H go straight into Captains mode

“Oh, yeah, Chow’s a great asset to the team.” “One of the best goalies I’ve ever known.” “Real go-getter attitude.” “Hard worker. Weird fear of pucks, though.” “Still. What a guy.” 

Bullet dodged, crisis averted. Bitty breathes easy for a moment. 

so in this time he’s managed to text Chowder and has asked him to AVOID MAMA BITTLE AT ALL COSTS WHICH

chowder is clearly unable to do

“why????!?? did she not like me?!??? did i say something???!!”

so bitty is trying to calm chowder down and suzanne’s all Sugar Bear Sweetpea Fruit of my Loins WHO ARE YOU TEXTING

and chowder barges into the haus, apologizes a mile a minute for literally Anything he can think of

“I’m sorry for not asking you if you wanted a drink! And I’m sorry for not offering you a tour of the Haus- though I guess Bitty’s already done that- oh! Did I not say it’s nice to meet you?! It’s so nice to meet you!!!” 

and r&h have No Idea what’s happening but they love to Stir the Pot so they’re kinda egging chowder on and Mama B is very, very confused but so happy to see Dicky’s boyfriend is so thoughtful, if not a little...excitable...

So of course this is when the Frogs and Lardo wander in, drawn to sounds of a panicked Chowder

now bitty is on the edge of hysterics, trying to calm chowder down, trying to tell his mother that he’s Not dating chowder without saying those exact words, trying to text jack because who Else would be text while losing his shit??

and then she says it

suzanne just fucking says it

“oh, gosh, honey, i don’t know what you’re apologizin for, but it’s nice to know how polite my dicky’s boyfriend is.”

the silence in the kitchen is heavy with pent-up shock and laughter.

now. chowder can be naive, but he’s a smart cookie. it takes him those few, awkward moments, but he manages to put a couple things together - why bitty wanted him away from Mrs. B, why bitty was acting so weird, why suzanne was being so friendly

so chowder, bless his tender lil heart, plays along

“oh! uh!! well, i just want! to impress my...boyfriend?! my boyfriend’s mom!!”

dex and nursey are beyond confused; lardo has to leave the room so she can laugh

this is Not What Bitty Wanted, however

and then

enter Jack Zimmermann

bitty is just about ready to curl up in a corner and die of Shame

so Suzanne does her whole heart-eyes Jack Zimmermann routine, asking after his father and yadda yadda

but jack definitely heard everything with chowder. and as jealous as he is, it was also hilarious. 

and we all know jack l zimmermann is kind of a little shit

“so I see you’ve met bitty’s boyfriend” he says in his best monotone

(now ransom has to leave because he’s about to wet himself holding back laughter)

“oh, yes, jack, i’ve finally gotten dicky to introduce me, you’d think he didn’t want me to meet sweet christopher”

bitty’s done. he’s leaving samwell immediately. already has a new name picked out for himself, is gonna hitchhike west and dye his hair brown and never speak to anyone east of albuquerque again

“oh, i can’t believe he’s being shy about chowder,” jack says, knowing that he’s probably getting himself into Trouble but plowing forward regardless. “they’ve been together almost a year now”

“WHAT.” is the reaction that comes from three different people in three very different inflections 

(now dex and nursey are taking bets; holster is recording the whole thing to send to shitty; ransom and lardo are watching from the hallway)

“oh, yeah,” jack continues on, with what is probably his Funniest and Most Terrible joke ever. “after they both got dumped by their dates at Winter Screw. right, Bittle?” 

bitty has his face buried in his hands. chowder is Beyond Confused as to why jack’s taking it this far. 

suzanne is THRILLED

so Jack is weaving this long, ridiculous story of the Epic BittyChowder romance that never was and chowder’s starting to feel uncomfortable about the way suzanne is staring at him and bitty is going to Murder his boyfriend if the mortification doesn’t kill him first

“...which is why I’m here today. to fight for bitty’s hand.”

yup. jack 110% zimmermann Goes There. 

“you’re in love with my dicky too??” “do i....do i really have to fight jack??!”

and bitty sees the look in jack’s eyes, the imperceptible nod, and the dam finally bursts: “mother, i’m not dating chowder. and i never wanted you to think i was, but chris was just trying to help me out.” 

and suzanne’s face falls and chowder sort of awkwardly...runs away...to stand in the hall with lardo and ransom

“but then why is jack here?” suzanne asks,

and jack wraps his arm around bitty’s shoulder, smiling down at bitty, and bitty finally gets to say to his mama, “because he’s my boyfriend, mother.” 

suzanne Freaks Out and cries a little and calls bob. in that order. 

but before all of that she hugs them both tight and refuses to let go. 

(years down the road, they play holster’s camera-phone video of the whole Ordeal at the zimmermann-bittle wedding. chowder literally never lives down the chirps, but hey -- that’s what best men are for.)

[valencing]

hockey opus part two

dear @disarmd, it is i, your esteemed hockey bnf. last week, i started writing hockey fic based exclusively on your brilliant and inspiring primer/prompt post. as we discussed, any additional hockey knowledge would only interfere with my Art. for example, you wrote: 

this is connor mcdavid… he was like super extra special talented, got given Extraordinary status (like as an official designation) so that he could play with kids much older than him, and then they called him McJESUS and expected him to SAVE THE OILERS…so like you’re young and talented and everyone has crazy expectations like CRAZY and he’s like “okay, like i do want to be the best, but obviously that is a lot of pressure but it’s fine i’m… fine.” Saviour!! Pressure!! Try hard!! 

this is dylan strome. he’s like not that good in the face just if we’re being super honest, so i chose a picture where you can’t see his face…he was drafted the same year as connor and they played together on the OHL team SO THAT’S LIKE STEVE AND BUCKY, BASICALLY, aaaaand just like with Steve and Bucky, AND ON AN EQUALLY SERIOUS LEVEL, while Connor has gone on to do GREAT (like this year he has the most points scored of anyone in the whole entire league at this very moment), Dylan Strome was DRAFTED AND THEN SENT BACK DOWN TO THE AHL (like the minors) because he’s not a good enough skater and BASICALLY EQUAL TO BEING KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED BY HYDRA, THAT’S AN OBJECTIVE FACT…So Dylan is s u f f e r i n g...but like!!!! being surpassed by your bff. mAYBE A DARK SPIRAL? maybe someone needs to be saved. maybe it’s connor who crumbles under the pressure and needs to be saved!!! so many things!!!! 

which tells me all i need to know to write connor/dylan. here's the fic, in faithful accordance with your vision, not to mention content warnings for alcohol, depression, violence, and suicidal ideation. 

*

The first time Connor maybe saw Dylan again, he was in a cab on his way home from an afterparty. He'd started levitating a few inches off the ice halfway through the game and then scored literally hundreds of points. As a result, he'd had kind of a lot to drink at the party, which was why it seemed likely that Dylan wasn't really there.

Connor's cab was stopped at a light when he heard something outside in the street. It sounded like Dylan saying "There you are!" but in kind of a mean way. Dylan was his friend. His best friend. His––never mind. Connor would know that voice anywhere. But he hadn't heard it since that terrible day when he and Dylan were torn apart. When they took Dylan away. 

Filled with a sudden, desperate hope, Connor lowered the window and peered out into the darkness. Dylan was wearing a uniform Connor didn't recognize. He didn't look too friendly.

"NHL," snarled Dylan. "Oiler. Watch out."

"Dylan?" Connor didn't understand, but he stretched out a hand to his buddy anyway.

"I'll kill you," said Dylan. Then the light turned green and Connor, helplessly, left him behind.

*

"It wasn't him," said Connor's original character teammate Joey, when Connor told him what happened. "Come on, bro. Dylan's in the AHL now. We're never gonna see him again."

"You don't know that!" Connor said. "Sometimes people get out…I've heard stories."

"Santa Claus ain't real, pal," said Joey.  "Now listen…how many points are you gonna rack up tonight? One thousand? Two thousand?"

Being reminded of the game made Connor's heart sink. That was the problem with hockey. First you played a game, then they made you play another game. Sometimes weird shit happened on the ice, like the players on the other team would temporarily turn into swine or whatever, and people would go nuts as if Connor did it on purpose.

"What if I didn't score at all? What would happen then?" Connor tried to keep his voice steady.

Joey just laughed loudly and slapped him on the back. "Good thing we'll never know."

Connor closed his eyes. Only one person had ever seen him as a full person and not just a hockey saviour. "Oh, Dylan," he whispered. "I miss you."

*

"And the winner is CONnorrrrrr McDAAAAAAAvid," said the announcer after Connor scored the final goal of the game. "McDavid five THOUSAND points, Other Guys ZERO."

"Oilers five thousand points," called Connor, but the shouts in the arena were already drowning him out.

"CONNOR! CONNOR! CONNOR!"

"Oilers! Oilers! Oilers!" mumbled Connor, but it was no use. He skated slowly and extraordinarily over to his teammates.

"Nice work, McDavid," said Joey. "Guess we'll let you stay on the team for now. Haha!"

"Good move with the flock of doves," said Connor's coach. "That really got in their faces."

The doves had just randomly appeared, like all the other inexplicable crap that started happening after he and Dylan began playing for different teams. "That wasn't me," said Connor.

"You don't have to pretend around us," said Coach. "We know who you are."

"Who?" asked Connor, trying to follow.

Coach winked. "Let's just say we're all counting on you. Canada is counting on––"

The sound of machine gun fire cut him off. "Get down!" Connor yelled. He hurled himself on top of several of his teammates to protect them. The shots were coming closer and closer. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see black skates, clomping closer and closer, cracking the ice with every step. Connor looked up. It was––

"Dylan?"

"Shut up!" Dylan growled. He stamped down on the ice again and took aim.

"No, Dylan!" Connor yelled. "Shoot me first!"

A shot rang out, and Coach fell. Drops of blood hit the ice and froze. Connor crawled over to Coach. He was still breathing. Connor pressed his hand to what seemed like an unimpressive shoulder wound and looked up at Dylan. A mask obscured half his face. Dylan had always been a little insecure about his looks.

"You don't have to do this, bro!" Connor said.

"I do though," said Dylan. He whipped out a knife. But at that moment, there rose a mighty storm, and the wind blew Dylan back across the ice, and Dylan fell, because he wasn't a good enough skater, and then the wind lifted him up and bore him away.

"That wasn't me," said Connor immediately, because all his teammates were staring at him like what the fuck.

The medics were converging on them. Coach groaned softly.

Joey said, "Do we have to cancel tomorrow's game now? Justin Trudeau and Queen Elizabeth were gonna come."

Connor felt a stress headache coming on.

Coach grimaced as he was loaded onto the stretcher. "Gotta figure out what's going on. No game. We'll take a week off."

Connor's headache lifted. A week off! All of a sudden it felt like there was more oxygen in the arena. "Thanks, Dylan," he whispered gratefully. Then he saw how everyone was looking at him. "Sarcasm! I was being sarcastic."

"If that was your buddy, he's a goddamn psycho," Joey said. 

"Good point," Connor agreed. Dylan always did have his back.

*

During the investigation, no one had to go to hockey practice. Connor kept his phone off so he wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Once he tried to leave his house but when he looked up from the front porch, an airplane was skywriting WHAT WOULD MCJESUS DO overhead, so Connor decided to go back inside.

By the second day, Connor was getting worried about letting everyone down, so he went into his workout room to do his hockey exercises. Sooner or later the break would be over and he'd have to be in top form so no one would get mad at him. Just thinking about messing up on the ice made him feel sick to his stomach. It was almost a relief when Dylan crashed through the window, tackled him from behind, and rolled them over and over until they came to a stop by the treadmill with Dylan on top.

Connor reached up to pull at Dylan's mask. Dylan glared at him. "Oh, Dylan," said Connor. "To me you are beautiful."

Dylan let Connor pull the mask off. His face was gaunt. He looked like the ghost of the man Connor once knew.

"Bro…what have they done to you?"

"Everything," said Dylan hoarsely. 

"Was it the AHL?"

"Ssshh," said Dylan, looking from side to side as if someone else was listening. "I can't trust you. You're the target."

"I'm Connor!" said Connor. "Don't you know me?"

"I only know suffering," said Dylan. "That and death. Nothingness. The void." He looked searchingly into Connor's eyes.

Something about what Dylan was saying sounded appealing. "They don't play hockey in the void, do they?"

"No," Dylan growled. "They don't."

"Good," said Connor. "Take me there."

"What?"

"Deliver me," said Connor. "I'm ready." He smiled up at Dylan and waited for his final release. How lucky he was, to leave this terrible world. How grateful he was to go with Dylan's body pressed close to his.

Dylan raised his knife. At that moment a gentle breeze wafted the scent of flowers into the room, along with the sweet sound of distant harmonies. Dylan blinked down at Connor in confusion. The knife dropped from his hand. "Connor? Davo, is that you?"

"Duh," said Connor. "Of course it's me."

"Oh my god, Davo," babbled Dylan. "I dunno what I was doing. Did I hurt you?"

"No," said Connor sadly. It looked like he wasn't going to be murdered by his true love after all.

"I'm so sorry, bro. I'm gonna show you how sorry." And then Dylan's mouth was on Connor's, and it was almost everything Connor had ever wanted. Dylan kissed him desperately, touching him everywhere as if trying to make sure he was still whole. "I can't believe I almost destroyed your hockey career," he whispered. "I can't believe I almost ruined Canada."

"Not your fault," Connor muttered.

"Now you can still save the Oilers!" said Dylan. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," said Connor. "Everything is fine."

THE END

[brosura]

Ayo thanks for the tag @jellyfishline !!!

Name? Kathleen

Nicknames? kat and sometimes katty. used to go by katie, but i had to fight too many other katies for the privilege of bein katiePrime, the one true katie, in grade school so i just dont go by it anymore lol

Zodiac? SCORPIO

Sexual Orientation? guess you could say i’m...-funky sax riff- gettin bi

Ethnicity? filipina-american (hmu if u speak tagalog man i’m tryna get better at it i’m so weak)

Favorite Fruit? golden kiwis. hands down.

Favorite Season? winter and fall b/c i’m 100% more stylish in those seasons

Favorite Flower? orchids (my mom keeps them!) or jasmine for the smell

Favorite Scent? the smell of the fog near my old house, it’s like...a mix of eucalyptus, cold and sea water and it’s very nostalgic. also like if we’re talking a scent to wear, “beautiful day” from bath and body works for that every day clean smell

Favorite Animal? sharks! love those cartilaginous fishes. also dogs.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate? recently got used to drinking black coffee and unsweetened tea so the sweet embrace of hot chocolate is 2 overwhelming

Cat or Dog? both! but i’m allergic to cats so i can only have dogs :(

Dream Trip? PCH roadtrip from socal to oregon with a couple of pals and some poppin’ tunes. also, amsterdam to germany in late november (when the christmas markets are happening) with me old crew from undergrad

Number of Followers? a little over a hundred! thanks y’all!

What do I post about? whatever i’m emotional about at the moment. rn it’s final fantasy xv (-softly crying- holy shit)

Do I get asks on a regular basis? not usually but recently yeah b/c i just finished a fanfic and broke some hearts (im sorry...sosorry)

Favorite Band? (+ musicians) here a list

florence and the machine (saw her in concert 2 times and cried both times)

chance the rapper (saw him in concert once and cried)

matt and kim (saw them in concert and didn’t cry but almost died)

bump of chicken, i found them randomly in high school (yeah ok it was through tales of the abyss) and then heard them in various video games/anime and i liked all of their stuff so now i just listen to them regularly for that whimsical acoustic feel (OR EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL FEEL LOOKIN AT “ZERO” FROM FFTYPE-0)

honestly i like a lot of music n i don’t want this list to get too long

Asthetic? SOFT SHIT, the stars, landscapes, pastels, SOFT SHIT, tasteful lens flare, clearly homemade food, SOFT SHIT, dogs chillin in scenic places, cities at night, those blurry pictures u take of ur friends while drunk, SoFT, GENTLe SHIT

Fictional Character I’d date? lucio from overwatch; idk i just trust him. he seems like a cool, fun guy to be around and i feel like he’d treat me right. plus his AOE healing zone is the only friendzone i believe in. downside is that he’s famous in his canon and i dislike feelin like people are gossipin’ about me.

Hogwarts House? I consistently test as a Ravenclaw but I identify with Slytherin/Hufflepuff.

@queen-tabris, @pastelnoctis n @aceprotagonist, feel free to do this if u wanna!

(also @yuusukekitagawas for tagging me in something a really long time ago that i started but never finished i found it in my drafts while making this hahah i’m so sorry for doin u wrong like that u were one of me first mutuals)

if any of me other followers want to do it too, feel free to @ me in your response so i can learn more about y’all!!