#i havent written fanfic in like 3 years

[soulidarity]

pearly tears

rafayel x reader / mc | 384 words | hurt/comfort

after rafayel wakes up from a nightmare, he cant find MC

His hand felt heavy, rapidly moving against the weight of the water. Fighting an invisible force. For what? He wasn't sure. He just felt a sharp pain and anguish in his chest as he went against the tide.

Then he saw her. Slowly descending into the depths of the sea. Her eyes closed, mouth open. He reached out to her, she was almost in his hold when his vision was covered by sea foam.

Rafayel jolted awake. Sweat dripping from his forehead as he took in his surroundings. Right. He wasn't in the water, he was in his bedroom. The covers were sticking to him, a bit of the moon light creeping in from the courtains and his beloved was sleeping right next to him. He turned to see her.

Only to find an empty space.

The artist's breath quickened, his hand gripping the sheets that were supposed to be enveloping her. He looked around rapidly, searching for her. It was hard to tell what was going on now, his senses heightened yet he felt numb. His eyes observing but his vision was clouded. He didnt hear the bathroom door open.

Suddenly arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

"Im here"

He turned around, cupping her cheecks in his hands to make sure she was real. His love wasn't dead. She was there. Rafayel burst into tears while she leaned into his touch. Her hand made its way to wipe them away as her facial expression changed to one of wonder.

"You cry pearls, how lovely"

Everytime she spoke it felt as if he was in a trance, her gentle voice a contrast to his desperate and anxious demeanor. But the comment only made him cry harder, the pearls growing in size. Quickly, the bed was covered in the shiny and soft object. The sound of them rolling off and hitting the floor was all that could be heard apart from the man's sobs.

Slowly, with her affection he started to calm down. Slim hands playing with his hair as soft lips kissed his jawline.

He moved to her lap, head in the crook of her neck as his arms tightened around her. The pearls had stopped flowing.

"Please... dont leave me..."

She smiled as she patted his back.

"Wouldnt even dream of it"

[seros-chaotic-scribbles]

Favorite Customer

sho haizono x [frostheim student] reader!

a/n: oh god i havent written a fanfic in YEARS! please be gentle with me (no beta because that's scary!!!)! apologies for any occ sho! this lil fic is dedicated to proxy from my TD guild! <3 enjoy!

The food truck had been a hit since it opened, attracting crowds of students during lunch and dinner. Faces blurred together and Sho struggled with keeping track of everyone. There were a couple of exceptions, of course, Subaru, Leo, the honor student, and you. 

At first, he thought you were a bit strange. Unlike the others who stopped by you tended to change your order. Each day brought a new dish with a handful of customizations that made him think you were purposely trying to annoy him. The first time he had decided to confront you on it led to no results. You were an expert at dodging the question, a simple smile and flutter of your eyelashes had him stunned, stuttering and quickly turning away to work. It was the way you effortlessly seemed to brush off his passive-aggressive nature, the fact that you decided to tease him for it rather than glare due to the reputation of his house. 

It made him feel… oddly soft.

He didn’t understand at first. The way his brain refused to comprehend your motives, the sudden increase in temperature that came with your arrival, the urge to prove that he could meet your requests with only a few complaints mumbled under his breath. He used to hate your visits, but now he looked forward to them. In fact, he was a bit worried at how Leo had started to pick up on his apparent ‘favoritism’…

“I told you, she’s just a customer.” 

Sho felt like he had repeated that at least ten times now. 

“Mhm… just a customer alright, one you let walk all over you anytime she smiles. I’m surprised you haven’t just started giving her meals for free.”

Leo’s tone was filled with disapproval and… disgust. It was hard to pinpoint the exact negative emotion he was expressing. 

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever…”

Sho had begun to tune out Leo’s rambling, instead turning his focus to getting ready for the dinner rush. Classes were done for the day and students were bound to be hungry. Hopefully, you would show up early and—

“I mean, I don’t even understand what you see in her. She’s in the same house as that dumbass who tried to fight you. Isn’t that a sign to ignore her?”

Leo’s voice was starting to annoy him. Sho could deal with his own belittlement but hearing the way the silver-haired teen talked about you had him tensing. He knew he could put an end to his words but there would always be a consequence. Knowing Leo it’d be something stupid, especially with his newfound vice captain privileges…

“Don’t you think it’s annoying how she always has to have a different meal? Oh and those stupid customizations that she manages to get you to do! You always get mad at me when I change something so why don’t you get mad at her too? What’s the deal with that?”

Fuck the consequences.

Sho turned to face Leo, staring him down inside the small kitchen area of the truck. He watched his friend blink slowly as if he was confused by the anger that was building up in the truck. 

“Get out.”

“What?”

“Get. Out.”

Silence filled the kitchen as neither of them moved. Tension started to thicken the air as the chatter of students could be heard. The rush would begin soon.

Leo moved first with a roll of his eyes.

“Fine, fine, I get it. Work has you stressed or whatever. Have fun!~”

Completely ignoring the real reason behind Sho’s anger, Leo took his leave with a cheerful smile. He didn’t seem to care about the state he had left his supposed friend in nor the fact that people were already starting to form a line outside the truck. At least Sho could use the rush to help get his mind off of Leo’s words and the… implications they held on his feelings towards you.

Time went by far too fast for Sho’s liking. His stomach held a slight knot from his earlier bout of anger and he struggled quite a bit with the number of students. He was definitely going to need to find someone to help… at least with prep work beforehand. It seemed like there was always something more to do.

But, what bothered him most about this rush wasn’t the work or the annoyance students showed when he took ‘too long’, it was the fact that you hadn’t shown up.

The sky was darkening and Sho watched as a few stragglers went towards their dorms. Soon the campus would be quiet. This had been the first time that you hadn’t shown up. You hadn’t mentioned anything at lunch about not being here…

So he decided to stay open. Just for a bit longer. Just in case…

The silence allowed him to think. 

Leo had been pushing him earlier, that much had become obvious. But why? It was like he was trying to make Sho angry, trying to force a reaction out of him. 

He didn’t… He didn’t actually like you, did he?

No. No, that was stupid. 

You had become friends. That’s all. Friends. 

Friends over a series of conversations, over food, over your careful observations of his cooking habits, over the way you endlessly seemed to come up with challenges for him, the gentle curiosity you showed, the concern when he mentioned leaving for training, or the bruises that followed.

He stood there, stuck in a particular memory. It was the day after a harsher training session with Alan, the bruise that had bloomed on his shoulder was obviously causing him pain. He tried to hide it and work through it, but you saw past his efforts. 

He hadn’t realized it but the way you insisted he take a break, just a day off to heal, reverberated around in his subconscious. Your tone had been so soft, so sweet…

“Oh fuck.”

He did like you. 

Leo had figured it out before him. 

Sho just had to hope that he hadn’t gotten to you beforehand, talked to you about it, somehow twisted it, and—

“Hey, Sho!”

Your voice broke his thoughts, pulling his gaze to you. You seemed slightly disheveled, and out of breath as you approached the truck. Stray hairs stuck to your face as you tried to regain your composure.

Had you sprinted all the way here?

“Sorry, I’m so late! Luca—“ you took a deep breath in before flashing a bit of an embarrassed smile,” He went a bit rougher on training today. I was worried you’d already be closed and I’d have to sneak into the Vagastrom dorms just to have dinner.”

Sho blinked for a moment. You would sneak into his dorm… to see him? The notion had his ears turning red as he quickly looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I would just bring you dinner at that point… Sneaking in would only get both of us in trouble.”

“Aww Sho! You care about me getting in trouble? That’s so sweet!~” 

Your laughter filled the night air and for the first time that night, Sho felt his body relax. He shook his head before leaning against the counter of the truck, looking down at you.

“Whatever. What do you want tonight?”

He feigned disinterest but his small smile gave him away.

You pretended to look over the menu before meeting his gaze. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes. He wasn’t going to like this, was he?

“Let me cook for you.”

Huh?

Sho just stared.

Had he heard you correctly?

“What?”

“I said,” you held the word for a moment as you walked to the side door. There was no hesitation in your movements as you opened it,” Let me cook for you! It’ll be a nice change. Don’t look at me like that!”

He didn’t believe in your abilities. Maybe he shouldn’t make that obvious? I mean there was a reason you came to him for nearly every meal, right? He really shouldn’t let you…

But when you looked at him like that he didn’t know if he could say no. There was determination in your eyes and a confidence that you didn’t seem to have before. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt… Plus it was just one meal…

Sho sighed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. If this ended in disaster he would never let you live it down. 

“Fine… Just don’t make a mess.”

“I won’t! Scouts honor!”

You did a two-finger salute before moving towards the fridge, opening it, and searching through the leftovers from the dinner rush.

“Wait…” Sho leaned against the counter, watching your movements as he considered what you said,” Were you ever even a part of the scouts…?”

Your lack of response didn’t help his confidence.

It wasn’t long before a pleasant aroma began to fill the food truck. You had ignored Sho’s questions about what you were making and instead kept the conversation flowing by asking about his day. He didn’t have much to tell but he hesitated when mentioning that Leo had been hanging out with him before the rush.

He saw the way your body tensed slightly upon the mention of his friend and the dread in his stomach from earlier returned. Had Leo mentioned something after all…?

“I don’t mean to be rude but…”

You started before trailing off, keeping your head turned towards the stove. You sighed for a moment before trying to start speaking again. It was clear you were putting a lot of thought behind your words.

“I know he’s your friend and all but don’t you think it’s rude that Leo knows you could use a hand but refuses to offer?”

Sho relaxed at your comment. You were just peeved with Leo’s laziness, nothing else. That was good at least. 

He shrugged as he moved to stand next to you, peering over your shoulder curiously.

“Leo only does things that interest him. Plus, he’s a terrible cook.”

You snorted at that before glancing at Sho. He swallowed, trying to avoid staring at you but it was hard when you seemed so relaxed. The slight smile on your lips seemed to hypnotize him. They looked so soft. 

Then he realized that you were saying something. Something that he had completely missed. He was an idiot. 

“What do you think?”

Your voice was so deceptively sweet. You absolutely knew he wasn’t listening. He refused to admit it though. That would be even more embarrassing.

So, he looked away, awkwardly clearing his throat.

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“You didn’t know or didn’t think I could?”

“Want me to be honest?”

“Sho!”

You lightly nudged him, pretending to be annoyed at his underestimation of your abilities.

“What?! You come here for almost every meal. It was a reasonable assumption.”

“Do you think I only come here for the food?”

Your boldness caught him off guard. 

Sho turned back towards you, his heart beginning to race. His eyes were wide as he struggled to talk. He needed to say something! Anything! You were starting to look so unsure of yourself now, a blush taking over your features.

“Cute.”

No! Don’t say that!

He wanted to bang his head into a wall when your blush increased tenfold. He felt one of his own start to consume him as he started to rub the back of his neck. He should be suave, charming, not struggling like this. 

You two seemed to be at a standstill. Neither one of you could speak or look away. It was infuriating but in the best way. Sho couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face as he cleared his throat. 

Well, now or never right?

“I’m glad that you aren’t just using me for food.“ 

Oh, that had come out wrong. So wrong. He swallowed before trying to continue.

“I like seeing you every day! I wouldn’t mind if we, y’know, uh… spent more than just lunch and dinner together…”

He trailed off, suddenly unsure. He was trying to read your expression, it seemed to be a mix of shock and excitement. Your face was bright red and you were smiling. That was a good sign! 

Sho hadn’t realized how close the two of you had gotten. He was lost in the moment, struggling with how to express this softer side of him that he hadn’t paid attention to your movements. He watched as you slowly blinked before starting to talk.

“I’d like that too.”

It was as if time was moving in slow motion, your lips had just begun to brush his when—

“Is something burning?”

Sho had pulled away when the scent of burnt… whatever it was you had been making quickly took priority over the moment you two had been having. The two of you quickly worked in tandem to try and save the meal but it turned out it was beyond saving, much to your frustration. 

Luckily for you, there was someone who was more than happy to make you something else. 

[helphelph]

Rating pjo ships because I've seen a good amount of people doing it lately and it seems fun. But there's a twist!! I used the wackiest rating system imaginable because I'm insane. Have fun.

Percabeth: a hundred hearts out of five blue cookies.

Their dynamic is not only incredibly fun but also they complement each other very well. Honestly, when I first read the books, I didn't really want them to get together because I didn't want another "main guy gets main girl" situation, but they're honestly made for each other.

Jiper: five daggers out of ten great canyons

They were incredibly forced, but honestly not that bad of a ship. They were really cute but I dont have much to say about it.

Valgrace: fifty festus heads out of ten college aus

One of my favorite Jason ships ever. I love me some tragic gays.

Pipabeth: Two goddesses out of fifteen owls

I will ALWAYS support a good wlw ship. And Piper defo had a microcrush on Annabeth while they were on the Argo II. Plus the fanart of them is SO good.

Jercy/Person: twelve riptides out of ten horses

I like reading about it and it's quite fun to think about. Nothing much to say honestly.

Perachel: Ten prophecies out of nine pancakes drowned in syrup

They could have been cute. I dont really ship them though.

Annrachel(is that the name?): three prophecies out of five spiders

Korrasami vibes lmao. I think they're better off as friends but I will read a fanfic if I find an interesting one.

Solangelo: twenty-six skulls out of ten doctors notes

They were written for each other. As in Rick made sure that they were written for each other. I havent read tsats yet and im still on the first toa book so I don't have much on their dynamic. Still I like them and they visually look good together.

Valdangelo: ninety-four automatons out of six pomegranate seeds

They would have been unstoppable I tell you! Unstoppable!! Or maybe I'm biased. Either way they would have been an amazing couple together but Rick was too much of a coward to let them be (boy)friends. (Can you tell I'm biased?)

Jeyna: One bad father out of two older sisters.

UPDATE!!1!1!1 It has come to my attention that Reyna is canonically aroace with no romantic or sexual interest whatsoever so this ship is out of the window.

Jasico: 3/10

Personally I've never seen the hype for them. I like their dynamic a lot but not really in a shipping way. Sorry pjotumblr😔

Pernico: One bathe in the river styx out of thirteen hades figurines

The angst of Nico having a crush in Percy is a good concept to explore. Both in relationships with other characters and Nico's character development. But them being in a relationship together just irks me. It's not entirely problematic(at least i dont think it is? Correct me if im wrong), but still, the age gap makes me uncomfortable.

Ruegard: thirty-seven drakons out of one patrochilles parallel

Like I said, I love me some wlw ships. And while I've never really been a diehard fan of them, the fanart is amazing, so of course i ship them.

Frazel: 6/10

Rick try to make a girl and a boy stay friends challenge(impossible). But jokes aside, the 13-16 gap makes me annoyed. Three years isn't much but it matters in this situation. And it annoys me bacuse I want to like them. They have a cute dynamic but the maturity gap between them kinda gets in the way. That said, I would probably have liked them a lot better if they just stayed friends.

Valzhang: Nine eagles out of twenty hidden bunkers

Like I said before, I will consume almost every ship in a fandom. And if I find good fanfics of them, I will read it because I like exploring different characters' dynamics with each other. It's fun and I honestly think the pjo fandom should chill out a little. The amount of people who put others down for shipping something that isn't canon is way too much. Just let people enjoy their ships.

I think that's all? I didn't include Grover and Juniper because I honestly don't really have any opinions on them. They just exist and it's kinda like Rick just made them canon because he didn't want grover to feel left out. Let me know if there's other ships you'd want me to rate!

[lennadanvers]

Hi! I love everything youve written with my entire fucking heart like you dont understand there hasnt been a single thing of yours that I havent liked! Anyways, I was wondering if you could write some more Simon Riley? You write him so well it isnt even funny. If you cant, no worries! I think youre amazing!!!!

Hi! Thanks a lot for the praise, it means a lot (you don't even know how much, I'm pretty new to fanfic writing and posting stuff is still kinda terrifying, but when people say things like this it warms my heart). Anyway, I had this sitting in my drafts for way too long, and found the energy to finish it today. Sorry for the delay, I hope you still enjoy it.

Thanks for your patience <3

Every coin has two faces

Ghost doesn’t like to think about himself.

Maybe the mask is an effort to conceal his own face when he walks past a mirror, rather than to guard his identity. Maybe it has a double purpose. Maybe it’s just one: to hide. Whatever the case, Simon Riley avoided thinking about himself. Of how he looked. How he sounded. Or moved-

Until he had met you.

Fresh blood. As in a new recruit and as in that you were bleeding the first time he saw you. Despite the bloody nose, there was something there. A burn in your eyes. The sharp smile you threw to the recruit laying at your feet. To the one responsible for your pain. Sparring wasn’t supposed to be this dirty, but they had crossed the line. And you had slaughtered it in response. A fucking demon; you had become violence on the flesh and unleashed something nasty upon them.

Once you had won the fight -not fair and square, but they had asked for it-, you stopped. Put the leash on whatever it was that took over you, and stepped back, hand to your bloody face.

Simon smelled something rotten.

For the untrained nose, it wasn’t noticeable. Most people would have looked at you and seen a surprisingly skilled recruit, that’s it. But he saw himself. Broken recognizes broken, he supposes. The anger ready to jump out. The control; years of training that someone as young as you would only have if they started before even learning to talk.

That’s what it was, wasn’t it? You were another survivor. Another messed up past. Another broken child who grew into a desperate, cold monster.

Ghost saw himself in you.

It went downhill from there. Simon Riley knew it was a bad idea, he was a bad idea. But you were so good. Scary good. Too damn close to perfect for him to be at ease. He kept an eye on you. From afar. Very, very far. From a second-floor window. From his elevated position as a sniper in the field. From a couple dozens of yards in the training area. Through Soap’s gossip.

Simon Riley had never been so close to liking himself. You were fast, methodic, smart and precise. You were strong, witty, sarcastic and poisonous. He was interested, involved, captivated and weirdly vulnerable.

It haunted Ghost how much of himself he saw in you. It just made the few contrasts (sparkly smile, short body, soft curves) feel sweeter. Just made him want to be closer. If you were so… So beautiful, so elegant, deadly, appealing, valuable… Maybe he was, too. Maybe it happened to you too. Maybe, when you looked at him, you saw yourself. Maybe you understood.

That’s why the way you looked at him it chipped his heart a little.

He had never considered himself particularly handsome. Just a man. But this man had a good body -strong, healthy, taller than most. He was good at his job- effective, respected, he had earned his position. He knew not to get into other people’s business, and he had a decent sense of humor. Some women had even complimented his accent- apparently his voice was quite attractive. The few that had seen his face hadn’t complained, either.

Obviously, he didn’t expect everyone to be interested in him. Simon knew the mask weirded some people out. But it wasn’t the mask, was it?

It was him.

You looked at him like he was the president of the welcoming committee of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Like you’d shoot him if he took a step too close (he never stood within less than six meters from your personal space, mind you). Whenever he entered the room, you stabbed him with your side eye. If Ghost had to walk past you in the hallway, you’d stick to the wall like a fucking tree frog, for God’s sake. And he hadn’t even talked to you directly.

Simon hadn’t been able to wrap his head around it.

Until now, that is. After you had been chosen to go with the team to a mission. One that was supposed to be easy. In and out. No more than a couple hours. No finding a place to stay the night. No ending up divided in a couple different locations. And definitely no spending the night hiding with you.

Alone.

There had been bullets flying everywhere. He was calm, fast. You knew better than to give him dirty looks when he dragged you to safety. But you were looking at him now. And he was terrified.

All this time, the scarred, broken kid inside him had recognized the scared, lost kid inside you. Ghost had seen himself in you.

But you had seen someone else in him.

His broad figure and trained muscles weren’t attractive, were they? They were menacing. His stealth, aim and training weren’t worthy of admiration, but fear. The hard-earned respect, the power, was nothing but a weapon, a strategic position from which to attack. Your dirty looks were the hate you had spent years nursing. God, the way you pressed against the wall in the hallways- your most basic instincts keeping you away from the predator.

Simon is a threat to you.

And you’re looking at him as if he was his father.

Ghost stares back at you from across the abandoned building you’re going to have to spend the whole night in. He’s going to be sick- you look sick. Simon knows how you feel. Being trapped in a house with a man who can beat you into a bloody pulp. Someone bigger, stronger and more powerful. Big body, hard knuckles and labored breath. Next to him, you’re so small. You’re weaker, have less experience and power over him. And you can’t leave: it would be worse. You’re trapped with him.

Alone.

It kills him, the way you step away from his body as soon as you can. How you don’t look him in the eyes, following his hands instead. He feels disgusting.

Simon takes a deep breath and forces his voice to sound calm- he’s not- and quiet.

“You alright? No wounds?”

He knows both answers: no and no. But he has to ask. Has to let you know he cares. He’s on your side. Here to take care of you. Not to hurt.

You shake your head.

“Good. Gonna stay ‘ere tonight. The others can’t be far. Contact Price to let ‘im know our position.”

A nod. He’s used to giving orders, but right now his voice sounded harsher than he would have liked to hear. Ghost winces.

“Thank you.”

It’s the surprise in your eyes that ignites his hope. He’s not an asshole. Maybe.

You don’t trust him, either way. After you eat- pressed against the wall, knees between you and him-, it’s time to prepare for the night. Simon knows how he’d feel if he was in your place. He’s more than sure you’re not happy sleeping in the same room as the big, creepy guy with military equipment who reminds you of a nightmare.

He takes off the gloves first. Someone told him he has nice hands, once. They’re brutal. But human. The mask is next. Usually- always- it stays on during missions, even if they last days. He can make an exception. His naked hand undresses the chin, the mouth, the nose- the scars. Simon bats his short eyelashes, as if the dim light of the sun setting was bothering him- he wants to show you he’s weak. He can be.

You stare at him from the other side of the room, still, a deer in headlights. Simon tucks the mask and his gloves into one of his pockets. Decides he’s keeping the bulletproof vest. But he can spare his gun. And the sniper rifle. And his knives- except for the one hidden inside his pants: he’s not undressing in front of your terrified eyes, and at least he has something to defend himself with, in case the enemy finds you. Everything else goes into a pile on the floor. He then steals a glance at you.

You’re looking at him unsure. He’s not only your superior, but a ruthless soldier. This is not the protocol. In fact, he’s being quite stupid by choosing to spend the night disarmed.

Simon shrugs. He’s not going to explain himself to you.

“’s uncomfortable to sleep with all that metal. ‘m a fucking bell.”

You give him another nod. It’s weird, how much you talk around other people. You’re usually loud, even your laugh. You laugh with other people. He’s seen you laugh at Soap’s jokes. He’s heard you teasing him about his accent.

Or, rather than that, the weird thing is how quiet you are next to him.

Ghost likes his recruits obedient and focused. Makes it easier to give orders if people have a cool head and are ready to follow. But you’re not. You’re ready to fight, flight or freeze, and you don’t trust him. You don’t trust he’ll keep you alive and well. Because you’re too busy making sure he can’t hurt you.

Except he can. He could. If he wanted. He doesn’t. For the life of him, he does not want to hurt you. Simon himself is terrified of the possibility.

Ghost knows it’s an absurd idea. He has no reason to. He is your superior, and you’re together in this. You’re supposed to watch each other’s backs. To be a team.

But right now, all you are is terrified.

And he doesn’t know how to make it stop. So he resorts to giving you choices.

“Wan’ the first watch?”

Say no, and he’ll make sure not even a cockroach crosses that door. You’ll be safer than in base.

You nod.

He bares his neck. Ghost has seen your teeth, and they’re more than enough to cause serious damage. Go on, he’s telling you, make sure I can’t fight back. Simon doesn’t say it, of course. Instead, he lays on the cold floor, away from the door and from you. Look, he’s out of the way. You can run, if you want to. You can wait until he’s asleep, grab his weapons and disappear. You can hide somewhere else until the sun rises. He just knows you’re good at hiding. He turns his back to you. There, it is yours to stab. If he ever gave you any reason to feel like this about him, by all means, go on. End his misery. But, most importantly, end yours. Take your pick, he left you an arsenal. He’s dying a death by his own weapons either way.

The shadow your body casts on the wall stays still a long time. It’s been well after an hour since he slowed his breathing down when you finally move into a comfortable position. The ruffling of your clothes and the little sigh you let out make him feel a little less cold. A little less like a monster.

When the sun wakes him up the next morning, you’re still sleeping. Ghost should reprimand you severely; should have woken him up, should have made sure someone was watching the door. But he can’t find it in him to do it, to betray this shadow of trust.

So Simon takes a mental picture of your relaxed face- he’s never seen it so close, it’s a sight worth risking his life for- and turns around. He pretends to sleep until you wake up and start making noise.

I hope you liked it, thanks again for the ask <3

If you (or anyone) have an idea/request/suggestion, I'll be happy to read them. It may take some time, but I promise I'll do my best. Also, I'm sorry if I made any mistakes, English is not my first language and today my brain was particularly confused. Just let me know and I'll fix it.

Masterlist here

[wttcsms]

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again. 

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life. 

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship. 

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you. 

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment. 

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart. 

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya. 

“Were you looking for something?” 

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide. 

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.” 

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?” 

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind. 

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend? 

“What are you talking about?” 

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly? 

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.” 

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.” 

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him. 

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you. 

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf. 

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment. 

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him. 

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?” 

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.” 

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this. 

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him, 

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.” 

“Huh?” This catches his attention. 

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?” 

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question. 

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him. 

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch. 

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

[skatingbi]

WELCOME TO PART 3 OF MY SANJI WITH HETEROCHROMIA SERIES!!!!

Oh my god. Yall are insane. 700+ Notes for part one of this series alone is crazy (Crazy? I was- *gets shot*). So heres part 3. I'll probably have to publish all this onto AO3 soon bc shits getting outta hand, but I like posting on this silly little site so I'll still be posting on here.

Uhhh this was posted WAY later than I anticipated bc i had a gnarly depressive episode and had to enroll into uni, but there aint no way id abandon this series, its too fun and i love experimenting with my baby writing style as i call it.

Okay thats it, just thank u all sm for enjoying my silly little series :) u guys are so sweet!!

P.S. Constructive criticism is OKAY! I havent written fanfic in like...10 years so since middle school. Im a baby at this and I understand if I may have several errors so pls lemme know if theres grammar mistakes!

Sanji With Heterochromia Series Part 3 below 🔻

Sanji lied. He does like the idiot. More than he's willing to admit. A few days after their conversation, Zoro distances himself. It leaves a nasty feeling in his gut similar to nausea but different from actually wanting to throw up. It feels apprehensive. He's waiting for something, but he doesn't know what yet. Sanji hates it. He hates how confused he is and how much he actually wants Zoro to touch him again. He hates the burning linger of scarred knuckles on his cheekbone that follows him wherever he goes.

He hates these feelings because he never learned how to really process them. He doesn't know if he has to blame himself, his shitty excuse of a father, or Zeff. Well, maybe not Zeff. The old man had enough on his plate while raising him as it was. Sanji decides to blame it on Judge because honestly, the root of most of his issues stems from that shitty old man anyway. Placing the blame on someone does little to actually help, but it's a distraction from his growing realization of how much he cares for Zoro.

He cares for Zoro. No, he holds an unreasonable amount of affection for the scarred swordsman that haunts his thoughts now more than ever. Fuck questioning sexuality when it's undeniable that he's absolutely whipped for the big idiot. Theres no room for denial anymore, not when his touch had become branded across Sanji's skin for the foreseeable future.

Stress cooking does little to soothe him and it's the same with smoking. At least Luffy gets to enjoy snacks to his hearts content. Its the little things, he tries to tell himself. He also reflects on his conversation with Zoro. How he honestly felt afraid of what he felt when the swordsman confronted him. He felt afraid of someone genuinely caring for his emotional wellbeing. He's anxious over what that means, what it would do to him if Zoro truely meant what he said. All the things voiced about him and the implications that he's...handsome in the eyes of Zoro.

Sanji is emotional. It comes with him being sentimental as well. He's the black sheep of his biological family in every way. He loved too hard, and got hurt too fast. He loved even when it ended in betrayal. Secretly, he loves unconditionally. What would happen if he loved Zoro like that, and what if it already happened and he's too late to stop it? Would Zoro hurt him just like everyone else has? Would he be pushed away eventually after the thrill of their theoretical short lived relationship?

It keeps him up at night, that conversation replaying in his head as he stares at Zoro's sleeping silhouette. He falls asleep to his breathing, echoing throughout the room over everyone else's breath and snores. He wakes up every morning before the sun greets him and pretends nothing happened in his dreams where Zoro's gentle touch and admiration lingers softly over his mind.

Zoro knows. Well, not exactly. He's not a mind reader like how Luffy seems to be, but he knows that distancing himself from Sanji is actually doing the opposite of what he thought it would do. At this point, the swordsman isnt sure where to go from here.

Sanji's actions contradict his words. Sanji stares at Zoro. Not so much that it's s uncomfortable but it's enough to be noticeable. Sometimes he swears he can see Sanji's eyes dart across his face and down to his lips before looking away. It's confusing. Didnt Sanji hate Zoro's advances towards him? Because thats what they were in hindsight.

Zoro was unconciously flirting with the cook in his own weird way. And yeah, he's a little stupid for not realizing the implications behind his actions at first, but it all started as genuine curiosity. He didnt mean for it to affect their rivalry. Now, he's not sure where to go from here.

It's driven him between a rock and a hard place and unforfunately for him, Nami decides to intervene again. This time, Nami drags Zoro to her and Robin's shared room on the Sunny for privacy and possibly interrogation. He's certain that this time he wont be able to escape. Unfortunate.

"Okay, so heres how this is gonna go," Zoro and Nami are now seated across from each other, where theres two beds and enough room for decent sized dressers on each side. Zoro sits on what he assums is Robin's bed with his arms crossed, "You will tell me everything- And i mean it! I will know if youre lying -and I will help you. Im sick and tired of you both being miserable and gay! It's giving everyone second hand embaressment." She demands, narrowing her eyes with a challenge for Zoro to protest or say no.

Zoro is smart enough to know what is and isn't a losing battle. This is one of those. Nami can be terrifyingly persistent once she sets her mind on something, and today it seems to be resolving the weird and awkward tension between him and Sanji. The swordsman resigns himself to his fate quickly and prepares himself to be trapped here on Robin's bed for the foreseeable future.

"Fine witch," Zoro sighs, "But if you tell anyone I will not be responsible for my actions." He huffs out in acceptance for his inevitable interrogation.

"Oh please like that'll actually scare me. Plus besties never snitch." Nami rolls her eyes. She gets comfortable on her bed and look at zoro expectantly. He rolls his eyes and relaxes his posture a bit.

Zoro starts talking, beginning with the first instance of his realization of Sanji having dual colored eyes, leaving out a lot of "unimportant" details. He mentions the second, and the third instance, and their conversation from a few days ago and how he tried to respect Sanji's establishment of a boundary and how he's confused now that Sanji stares at him. Nami listens with her chin resting on her fist and nodding along the way, surprisingly not interrupting once. He finishes speaking and he knows his face is red with embaressment, but he feigns nonchalance and waits for Nami's input.

"Zoro," Nami sighs, "Youre the dumbest bitch I know." She says while giving the man a look of sympathy, but not one that actually means it. More like the look of someone who is so incredibly done with your shit that they have no choice but to tell you so.

"What the fuck, Nami!? Im not dumb!" The swordsman retorts loudly.

"Anyways," his best friend ignores his arguing in favor of getting to the task at hand, "Luckily, this is fixable. For making the entire crew feel awkward for two weeks, I'm adding a 200 percent tax increase to your debt." She smiles mischeviously, and thats when Zoro realizes that one, he's never getting out of debt, and two, he's been forced to accept Nami's help in unfucking up his unconcious attempts to flirt with Sanji.

"First order of business is that you have absolutely no game." Nami begins with a shit eating grin to match the absolutely insulting statement. Zoro briefly reconsiders their friendship.

"Shut the fuck up I obviously do." He rolls his eyes. Nami gives him the look. The one where her eyebrows are raised and her chin is tilted down slightly, matching the frown. It's that look she makes when she's trying to say 'Are you sure?' or 'Reconsider what you just said.' and it grates at Zoro's already increasing agitation.

He decides not to entertain her with a reply.

"Anyway," Nami sighs, massaging the space between her eyes with her thumb and forefinger to stave off a growing headache, "Im teaching you how to flirt. No, you cannot work out in front of Sanji- dont give me that look you muscle brained idiot!" She says while looking at Zoro's ever increasing looks of annoyance and audacity, because first of all, no he definitely was not going to do that, and second of all, it could hypothetically work. Probably.

"Fine," He huffs. He'll let the witch do whatever. It's not like theres anyone else he can talk to on the ship about this anyway, "No promises that I'll actually do what you tell me."

"Fucking- oh my god why am I friends with you?!" Nami complains before flopping down on her bed, groaning loudly at Zoro's malicious cooperation. Zoro basks in the momentary power he has in this situation.

For the next few hours, Nami allows Zoro to stay in the womens quarters for the sole purpose of learning how to actually flirt. He's not sure if shes a reliable source, being a lesbian and also having a girlfriend already, but if he voiced this opinion out loud the redhead would probably kick him out. He only restrains himself because this room is the only one so far where he feels the least amount of awkwardness regarding his situation with Sanji.

Robin stops by every now and then and gives him a smile. It doesnt make him feel very comfortable but it's the thought that counts. She doesnt say anything about him being there, anyway. He makes an effort to at least not lay on the bed he's sitting on, though. He may be lazy but he does hold enough respect for the women in the crew to not fuck with their shared safe space.

Suddenly, it's the evening and dinner is around the corner. Nami shoves a barely enlightened mossy swordsman out of the womens bedroom to finally be free of that headache. Also known as a crash course to flirting with your rival/friend/whatever the fuck else they got going on.

Zoro makes his way to the gallery, taking his time to look out and observe the oncoming sunset that bathes the sky in shades of pink, orange, blue, and yellow. It would be a pretty sight to fall asleep to, he thinks, but the cook would kick his ass off the ship if he decides to sleep through dinner again.

Entering the gallery, everyone except Nami is already there. She's right behind him a second later and taking her seat at the kitchen table.

Numerous conversations are heard as food is served. Franky and Usopp are wildly talking about different types of projectiles the sunny could use, Nami and robin are talking amongst each other in low voices, giggling in between sentences. Chopper and luffy are laughing together, and Zoro goes to sit next to luffy like he usually does. Just as he sits down, the cook lands a kick to his mid back, making Zoro scowl.

"The fucks that for!?"

Sanji rolls his eyes while placing plates of food down for the crew, "For being late, dumbass."

"Nami is late too!"

"And? She'd never be late on purpose, Marimo." as Sanji speaks, he dodges the hilt of Zoro's sword to his side instinctively and has the audacity to give a cheeky grin.

Dinner passes by normally. Everyone's loud conversations meld together gradually and soon everyone except Sanji and Zoro leave. Zoro takes his usual spot beside the cook, drying dishes and leaving them on a towel afterwards so they can both put them away.

Zoro has half the mind to bring up Sanji's staring, but decides against it. It leaves the air silent, neither him nor Sanji speaking up as they finish their side work for the night. Even then, Zoro's unable to speak when Sanji immediately leaves afterwards without a word.

The kitchen feels empty without their bickering, and Zoro is determined to bring that life back into it. He just needs to figure out how.

Despite Nami's advice, Zoro has an idea. If the idiot cook doesnt see what he sees (His pretty face first of all, but Zoro thinks of his strength too. How Sanji easiely brushes off conflict like it's nothing despite the injuries that'll heal far faster than his own), then he'll make him see it. Frilly words never were Zoro's style, anyways.

One night before they all go to sleep and Zoro takes night watch, he corners the blond in the bathroom. Nami would probably be kicking his ass because of his timing, but a mirror is needed for his plan to work and the bathroom is the only place with one other than the women's bedroom.

When Zoro enters, Sanji turns to look at him before going back to washing his hair, his back towards Zoro. "Leave me alone, Moss, I'm im not in the fuckin mood," He grumbles to Zoro, who stands there waiting for Sanji to stop talking.

"Nope, I need a mirror for this and for you to listen for five minutes." Zoro replies, and when Sanji turns to argue his protests are gone from his lips when he sees a look of determination. Confused, annoyed, and also curious, Sanji doesn't reply.

Zoro walks up to Sanji until he's standing right behind him. The swordsman moves to kneel so they're relatively at the same height, but the stool makes Sanji slightly taller as he sits there and eyes Zoro warily.

"Whats going on with you, Moss? I'm trying to wash my hair." Sanji says, and Zoro can tell an insult dies on his tongue when he places his hands on Sanji's shoulders.

Zoro turns Sanji in front of the mirrior in the bathroom, the stool Sanji is seated on creaking lightly and scratching against the tile. Sanji remains speechless, still unable to brush off Zoro's palms on his bare shoulders like how he'd usually do.

"Tell me what you see, cook" He says, uncharacteristically soft underneath the edge his voice always seems to have. Sanji flinches when the swordsman's calloused hands tuck his frings behind his ear, displaying his face to them both.

"What the hell is up with you? Did Luffy hit your head too hard?" Sanji furrows his eyebrows at the mirror and looks at Zoro. Zoro huffs and rolls his eyes.

"Just tell me what you see about yourself, shit cook, I'll leave ya alone after or whatever." He grumbles back, the baritone of his voice vibrates against Sanji's back. It reminds him of Zoro's compliment, his face too close to his while they stand on the deck of the Sunny just days ago. He chooses to ignore how it makes him shiver.

He looks at himself in the mirror, and his first instinct is to look away. Zoro, being the perceptive bastard that he is, notices and squeezes his shoulders in a way thats strangely reassuring.

"It doesnt have to be fancy, cook, I know you like to use big words 'n shit so don't make your brain fuckin explode." Sanji bristles a bit at that but bites back a nasty insult so he can entertain Zoro's weird exercise on his own self reflection.

In the mirror he always sees his mom at first, but with both eyes uncovered and his hair pushed back for once, he sees himself. The first thing he sees is his eyebrows and eyes. He decides not to bring up his eyebrows.

"Well, for your information I see my eyes, but you already know that."

Zoro stays silent, and Sanji shuffles in his seat. He's suddenly aware he was literally in the middle of rinsing his hair of shampoo a few minutes ago and the entire situation is both awkward and uncharacteristic of Zoro in multiple ways. It's out of character, and he should have kicked out the moss ball when he had the chance, but now in the too small bathroom of the Sunny he feels like it's only him and Zoro. It leaves a weightless feeling in his chest, settling in with the creeping anxiety of looking at his own reflection. The contrasting feelings make him hesitate before he speaks.

"I see.." He hesitates, not knowing exactly what Zoro is getting from this or what he wants to hear, "My eyebrows, I guess. Wait, you've never seen both at once." Sanji chuckles at that, because his eyebrows are certainly something. The curl points in the same direction, but it's unnoticeable with how he wears his hair.

"Yeah, they're weird as fuck." Zoro mumbles, and the blond has to laugh or else the swordsman's voice would get to his head.

"Okay, I also see freckles. Those are new. Only started showing up when I joined you all." And Sanji now notices how the freckles cluster on the bridge of his nose, his cheekbones, and his shoulders. They're scattered everywhere else on his body.

Sanji starts to realize the point of Zoro's questioning now. He looks at the fogged mirror, just visible enough to notice how his blush not only spreads across his cheeks but also down his neck. Embarrassing. This whole situation is embarrassing not only because of where they are but also because he's realizing that Zoro is trying to make a point that is too close to unearthing his insecurities. He would have expected this from Luffy, but sometimes he forgets how Zoro's intelligence is masked behind his swordsmanship and how much he sleeps during the day.

And he's naked, but honestly thats the least of his problems at the moment.

"I see my hair, I guess?" Sanji tries to only focus on his face. Its not easier, but it also sets up a mental boundary. Zoro hums, looking at Sanji through the mirror. Sanji hesitates before speaking again, "My hair is actually wavy," He thinks about his mom's wavy blonde hair, and how he always thought it looked pretty even before she passed, "Its damaged, though. Straightened to hell and back with one of those hot combs."

Sanji thinks back to the hot combs. They were old as shit, the kind that needed to be heated up with a flame. The memories make him chuckle a bit, and Zoro smiles back. The same smile he wore when they sparred on the deck, with his dimples visible yet again to confirm to Sanji that he does have them.

His smile makes his heart skip a beat, like drums he'd hear in one of those old instrumental CDs he kept in his room as a kid. Before he has the chance to back away, to push Zoro out the door and forget this ever happened, Zoro straightens his back again.

He turns in his stool to look up at Zoro and he's not sure what the swordsman sees right now, but he's afraid to ask as his gaze is soft. So damn soft as he looks at him and his hand reaches again to pull his hair hair back over his eye like it was before. Stringy strands of heat damaged locks fall back into place.

Then he leaves. He just...leaves. The damn idiot just turns around and walks out the door like nothing even happened.

Thats the second time this has happened yet the first where Sanji is the one on the receiving end of it, and it makes him grab his towel to bunch it up in his fists and let out a scream into it as he processes everything. He processes how he was forced to notice how Zoro looked at him, and it was Zoro's own weird fucking way of saying "You're beautiful".

"He's so fucking ridiculous oh my god.." Sanji mumbles into the towel. His hair routine is officially long forgotten.

[a-really-mediocre-writer]

Hi I love your writing and I’ve noticed you write for Chris Manawa, who I feel is under appreciated. There’s not a lot of writing on him so I was wondering if you could write something with him and reader on the boat and having a sweet moment together, like maybe messing around and play fighting? Just some fluff maybe some suggestive flirting. Thank you!

Sorry if my writing is a little messy English is not my main language.

Chris Manawa

GIF not mine, credit to @yanxidarlings

AUTHORS NOTE: hi guys so i havent written a fanfic or anything in like 3 years and my writing style may have change, lmk though if you would like me to write any other stories! requests are always open, and i have a few ideas for stories in the future as well. also after revisiting my only other chris oneshot i have realised that these are both set after his mom gets to walk the plank whoopsie

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY <3

---

Although the boat saving our lives from being snuffed out by the apocalypse was a luxury that it seemed no one else could afford, it had its downsides…such as the constant close quarters with everyone on board, as well as the boredom. It feels like such a selfish thing to admit whilst knowing about the fates of those we knew and loved that we couldn’t save, but at the same time I didn’t ask to be thrown into this hellscape, surely I should be allowed a pass on my lack of gratitude.

One of those who were not able to survive long enough to see life on the boat was Liza, Chris’s mother- the boy would not let us forget his grief and her loss, with it being written across his face as if it was stuck in a permanent frown. Most of us if not everyone aboard tried to avoid him and his snaps and cold tone, however as one of the only other teenagers on the sea with him I felt it was my duty to at least try to connect with him, especially after he had saved my life during the city riots at the start after I had lost my own parents in the chaos and the dead.

Chris was sat looking up at the stars on the outer deck of the boat alone. The day had been a rough one, with Liza’s sea burial not going so smoothly, tensions were high between him and his father Travis.

“Hey stranger” I said warmly as I emerged from the inner boat wrapped in a blanket, making my way over to the troubled boy.

“Hey..” He replied solemnly glancing over to me, his eyes following me until I was sat cross legged next to him. I held a spare small blanket out to the boy who declined the gesture by pushing it gently back towards me. Rolling my eyes playfully, I sat up on my knees and wrapped it around his shoulders, making him blush and stiffen for a moment, only to relax once I had sat back down again. The silence between us was deafeningly awkward.

“Soo.. Whatcha doing out here?”

“The stars are so peaceful tonight..” He quietly replied as he gazed up into the moonlit sky.

“Yeah, that’s one good thing about life nowadays.. you can see all of the stars you wouldn’t be able to with all the big city lights back at home.” I smiled gently at him and he glanced down at me before going back to star gazing. He was in deep thought and holding back tears as he kept his head held high trying to stop them from spilling out, eventually failing as I watched one stray tear roll down his cheek.

“Chris, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I am here for you and can be a shoulder to cry on if you need it…I really care about you…” After a few moments he lowered his head to look at me and his eyes were bloodshot and glossy. He stared into my eyes as if searching for something lost, and eventually raised the corners of his mouth into a weak smile to tell me,

“Thank you.”

After a few moments of silence and us smiling at each other he looks to the side out to the water, “I feel like… no one understands what I feel here… my dad doesn’t care that she is gone, he didn’t care about her he’s too busy with his new family… you are the only person that I think cared that she died.”

We sat in silence for a while, thinking about what he had said, before Chris broke it again.

“Sorry…That was pretty heavy…”

I let out a soft chuckle and reassured him, “Hey, I can handle anything you know… I’m superwoman but for like…listening to people I care about” attempting to lighten the mood a bit and nudging him on the shoulder, which seemed to work as I caught him smiling to himself and playfully nudging me back.

“Yeah yeah don’t get cocky…” He smirks at me and I mock offence, dramatically putting a hand on my chest and joking back to him, “Me? Cocky? I could never- How dare you even THINK that…” I giggled watching him roll his eyes at my dramatic outburst.

“You are so immature,” he starts, “Sometimes I wonder why we are friends…” He stares at me for a moment as if he were analysing my every movement, before his eyes land on the blanket wrapped around me like a burrito and he decides to quickly snatch it from me, laughing and saying “Maybe it’s because you’re so generous for giving me your blanket”

“HEY!!” I shout as I sit in shock for a split second before lunging at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders in an attempt to get the blanket back around myself. We are both wriggling around at this point trying to reclaim the blanket, as we forgot that the couch had a limited space, so when he eventually tried to get me off of him we both rolled down the steel drop from the couch to the deck, landing with a thud onto my back and physically wincing at the sudden pains shooting through my back. I was more shocked however to feel Chris landing on top of me, and when I opened my eyes he was there leaning over me, his hands either side of my head. We both just stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds too long, getting lost in his dark coffee coloured eyes; this then led to me scanning his face and admiring his undeniably handsome features and plump lips that he had begun to nibble into nervously. Feeling the blood start to rush to my face I decided to break the silence.

“Okay okay I didn’t realise that it was that serious to you…keep the blanket Manawa!” I giggled and poked his sides to shock him, which worked and his cheeks began to flush. He picked me up and I gasped, grasping onto his shirt incase he dropped me, but instead he put me onto the couch and sat next to me, opening up the blanket inviting me to sit wrapped up with him, which I accepted and crawled into his side, getting comfortable next to him as he settled the blanket over us both.

We sat awkwardly close to each other in silence for a few minutes, neither one of us wanting to scare the other away, but then Chris grabbed my hand underneath the blanket and without looking at me he said, “Thank you, Y/N… I needed this distraction from..everything…” he glances over at me “…you mean a lot to me…even if we have only just met, I feel like I have known you a lifetime, but it’s only been a month.”

I smile warmly at his words and glance at him before engulfing him into a tight hug, which he takes a few seconds to return.

“Chris, you mean a lot to me too. I would risk anything and everything for you, you are all I have left…” I feel the tears start to well up as i pull out of the hug and look him in the eyes, “…so you better not do anything stupid” I laugh and wipe my tears off of my face. He sits with an arm over my shoulders and laughs quietly about what I said.

“Maybe you aren’t ALWAYS immature and crazy… At least you aren’t boring.”

[rosekasa]

🦉🌷🔮 for the fanfic writers game!

HANAA, JAANEMAN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

omg so many come to mind and im actually afraid that im going to miss people out because i feel like the only reason i write is because of the people i admire. between 2021-2023 i really struggled with writing for a bit, i dont know why, someone gave me nazar probably, but there are some writers who i would read COPIOUS amounts of and think, this, THIS love i feel while reading is the love i want to feel about my own work

@jattendschaton , obviously, has been one of my biggest inspirations since i was a BABY. their writing is so descriptive and evocative. so insanely detailed. studying their writing was what got me into the habit of trying to find different ways to express a sentence to see if i could get a more accurate representation of the feeling i wanted to convey

@frostedpuffs and @lnc2 were the first ml writers i ever read <3 i didnt even know i wanted to write fic at the time! honestly a lot of my earlier characterisations/ways of writing are heavily inspired by their works because i was so obsessed with them! they made me want to start posting on ml ao3 in the first place

@xiueryn , i downloaded a bunch of yilena's fics onto my kindle in late 2022 and fucking DEVOURED them. i hadn't really been reading longer ml fics at all at the time but yilena's... i could not stop. their worldbuilding, their pacing, the way they make writing 40k+ word fics seem almost effortless? it became a joke with my irl best friend because i would literally randomly say "oh yilena you legend" while readingsdjkfhsd

@miabrown007, i read seven is a lucky number and it RUINED me for life. i dont know why this is what keeps coming to mind, but in her a/ns she mentioned that she HAD to end the word count on a multiple of seven, and i was like, oh my god, she puts so much structural thought into her stories. meeting her irl and hearing her talk about her writing process in detail was an out of body experience. that day itself i wanted to finish a multichapter

@asukiess, if loving ao3 user asukiess was a cult i would run it. i read tbsym and it really slapped me in the face because, having encountered it at a time where i felt like i ran out of any and all ability to be unique and creative with ml, i was like, oh my god, this person just wrote 10k+ words about. kuro neko?? a twenty minute episode? and she got SO MUCH out of it? and it hit me that like. if you love something enough you WILL find a way to create more out of it.

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

i have all my stats turned off on ao3 so i havent actually had that feeling of "aw i love this fic i wrote but it didnt really get popular" in like. three years sdjfhdsjkfds but checking my stats now, hmm. maybe ya'aburnee? which is funny because although it has fewer kudos than my other fics it's also the fic that people who i meet in the fandom yell at me for the most. at the mcm ml meetup a friend who came was like "HOW ARE U COMPLAINING ABOUT MCD YOU LITERALLY WROTE IT" and i so vehemently was like NO I LITERALLY DIDNT WHEN and they were like??? are u fucking stupid. it was great

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

the plot twist to ya'aburnee was a banger in the outlines but i feel like i didnt execute it that well in the actual fic. but lpoam i think was my FAVOURITE favourite. i even cried while writing the death scenesfdjshd

[drawcupidsbow]

posting fanfic for the first time in like 7 years WHRE AM I...

anyways. be nice to me i havent written anything in a long time so its real short. siffrin centric for his birthday :3

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

LMFAOOOOO RUBYYYY that ask ab ur mommy!hwa series 😭 i mean i kinda get that there might be lots of people like that person who may be uncomfortable about 18+ fanfics but like????? idk why they take those seriously, tbh. it's literally a FANFIC. i dint think those that u write fanfic for would even take their time looking their name up especially here on tumblr. it is very easy to scroll away and let other people enjoy the things that they do.

is it invasive to write stuff ab how he is in bed according to his birth chart? not really but quite? however, i dont think it's something people should take too seriously. astrology is fun. his chart is literally out there for free lmao. u're doing us (whose knowledge ab astrology and stuff isnt broad) a favor. it makes us curious.

and if it's a genuine concern, idk how hard it is for that person to use a tad bit nicer language. fuming mad for something they put themselves into ijbol like plsssss do urself a favor and as per their language, scroll the fuck away???? bahdhshshsh

GENUINE QUESTION THO: what does "mommy" mean when u use it to hwa? is it also like daddy but since hwa is intuned to his feminine side, he's more of like a mommy than daddy? LMFAOFI3IJRKGJJT SORRY I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND ITTTTT : (((( coz i havent read such fic w the same theme— using mommy to a male subject. hope i dont sound rude. ><

and.. pls post more about seonghwa's natal chart observations because i enjoy yours so much. they're very detailed and i resonate with it well since i almost have the same chart as him (as i was born 8 days after him) so yeah!

LOVE UR BLOGS SO MUCH! <3

Hey! The response to this ask is legit over a year late but better late than never and I have been excited to reply to this one for awhile.

For context, this was sent after I was sent a hate anon ask in my inbox stating that I was gross for calling Seonghwa 'Mommy' and analysing his kinks in my natal chart reading.

I just don't understand why ppl won't take the easier route and just scroll, like you're expelling unnecessary energy writing and I'm expelling unnecessary cognitive energy by reading it.

The 'should ppl write smut about real life celebrities' has been a question asked for literal DECADES now and i'm always on the belief that if you don't take it srsly- it's all good.

I just watched an interview with Ryan Reynolds who admitted to reading the smut ppl have written about him and loving every second of it-

If the celebrity I wrote fanfics for actively said 'I'm uncomfortable with ppl writing smut about me' then I would respect their wishes and not do it but until then, I'm going to keep doing it.

Besides, the members of Ateez know about the fanfics written about them from that time San googled actual fanfiction on Naver in one of his lives.

And so I think they're all probably okay with it and too worried about being an idol to care about atiny's writing smut about them

I personally think my smut fics and readings are on the same level of invasiveness as 'the way I would let this man *redacted* *redacted* me'- like it's okay to say to Atiny's but maybe not so much to the members.

(although if the members read my natal chart readings I would love to get their opinion).

MOVING ON!!!

'Mommy' is just another authority title you would use in the same way as you would call someone 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Master' etc.

It's not an age-play/age-regression thing at all and ppl confuse the two, I'm personally not into age-play/regression- it's not my thing.

For etc, my fics all use the term w/o de-aging the reader in anyway.

I wAsn't the first person who has affiliated 'mommy kink' with Seonghwa, that title goes to @hongism when I read her fic many moons ago and was in love with the concept.

I just found that the title fit with Seonghwa in such a beautiful way with his caring but dominant persona and I found it's a great way of dismantling gender norms and expectations surrounding masculinity.

In terms of not finding other male idols who have been called 'Mommy', there are a few Mommy!Hyunjin ones (I've written some too) and he's a popular idol for the concept too but there are other idols I've seen such as Lee Know and Mingi.

If you go on my blog and type in #mommy!may there are SO many fics I've reblogged where the mommy kink is used for all your smutty needs.

That's so cool you're born in 98 as well! I was born in April too so I completely resonate with parts of Seonghwa's natal chart as well.

In terms of more 18+ observation...uhh I'm not 100% certain that Seonghwa is low-key an exhibitionist but with his Aquarius Venus and the fact he looks at Atiny's with such a lustful gaze when he performs...

The chances are pretty high.

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii! i’m a small fanfic writer and i haven’t written in months. i just wanted to ask how do you keep yourself motivated?

(warning i’m abt to start yapping)

i get embarrassed when i write about certain characters bc i feel like i don’t characterize them well or im doing something wrong, and honestly i don’t know how to get my motivation back

i just wanna write abt our boy genius but idk where to start anymore 😕

well honestly i’ve never maintained an interest for as long as i have w reid/cm in general and while it does fluctuate in intensity i genuinely can’t explain why im still enthralled after over a year. like i have always been the person to get grotesquely obsessed with something and then find myself suddenly disgusted with it after like a month or two, so my interest being maintained in this dumb show is honestly like pure luck i guess lol and the fact that i havent hyperfixated on anything else since then? very very odd idk why that happened! anyway more below

also i just love writing, like i have loved writing my entire life long before i wrote fanfic and long before i wrote reid fanfic, so i think the fact that writing is so inextricably a part of who i am makes it easier for me to stay motivated because it’s not like my love of writing is contingent on my continued obsession with the character if that makes sense?

honestly just write him until you feel like you get him right, watch the show and study his mannerisms/how he talks, and write what YOU want to read, that’s super important, inspiration is easiest to tap into when it comes from inside yourself and not based on what you think others would like

it doesn’t need to be perfect there are a million ways to interpret a character!

and my best advice for writers block is to go back like ten lines and change whatever happened because when im most inspired the story literally forms itself and I don’t have to really stop and think about it very much as i go, so if i come to a dead end i just turn around and go a different direction!

but also sometimes you just truly may not have any ideas for a character or not have anything to say about them for the moment and that’s totally okay. in that case i go back and work on drafts or just read drafts, read my favorite fics, watch the show, and don’t force myself to write if it’s just not happening cause there’s no reason to do that

and also idk if this is universal but whenever i set hard and fast dates for myself to get a chapter done by or something i get scared and feel pressured and just completely abandon the whole thing so setting hard dates does not work for me at all and actually turns me off of writing so much

so that’s my advice!! i hope it was helpful<3

[little-antisocial-shit]

im sure you've heard of this fanfiction im writing~

AHAHA I HAVENT WRITTEN FANFIC SINCE I WAS 13 (it was a cringe south park fic too..... ) BUT HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER CRINGE FIC THAT STEMS FROM ME NEEDING TO COPE THROUGH FICTION!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOO

what fandom is the fic you ask..? danganronpa !! i love the series and im have found myself coping through the characters! if you dont like danganronpa yet you follow me, you can block the tag! all the dangan stuff will be tagged #danganronpa naturally, so if you dont want to see it, block it! easy as that, because i like it and im going to post about it :P

this fanfiction is going to pretty much be me having headcanons for the characters and giving good representation for stigmatized disorders!

Kokichi Oma is a main character! i hc him to have NPD and ive been researching NPD so i can give pwNPD some good rep! (i love kokichi so much give him all the love)

this is a saiouma fic! (shuichi x kokichi) and its called Divine Despair

This fic is actively being worked on! it will be posted on toyhou.se and ao3. I think it might be posted in.... at most a year maybe? no guarantees tho.

This fic is 17+ BUT i would prefer if anyone consuming it was 18+

it is mature! (i say 17+ bc the game is 17+, however there may be implied nsfw or written. idk yet lol. if i decide to actually write nsfw it WILL be 18+)

feel free to ask questions about the fic or give tips for any disorders/conditions !!

(note ik dangan can like. write disorders wrong looks at toko... so im going to fix all of that :3 .. except toko. toko will not have DID in my fic lol)

[gvftea]

"can i ask a genuine question dont attack me like u guys usually do on here. i am 17 but will be 18 in like 3 weeks and always have wondered why u guys are like 18+ or you'll be blocked! like yeah give an 18+ warning but thats up to the persons choice if they still wanna just read some smut lmao. Anyways ive always felt like its pretty dumb to see people under 18 as immature children who cant read a little fan fic about smut as if they havent been doing it on wattpad since they were 12 anyways"

I haven't written fanfic in years, but I used to both read and write a lot and I started when I was like 13, so my input comes from my own personal experience. When people say they don't want to interact with minors, don't think it comes from a condescending "eww this child is too dumb" place. In reality, interacting with minors on the internet is just not safe for either party and has the potential to go incredibly wrong. First of all, you're potentially exposing yourself to content you might not be ready to process- You probably think you're ready but depictions of gore, violence, BDSM, dub-con, etc. are not something all people can handle, including adults, but people with not yet fully developed brains (25 and under) are more impressionable and susceptible, and that's just a scientific fact. If despite knowing that you still wanna read it that's cool and no one is stopping you but then it becomes a whole other issue in and of itself if you get caught reading it and by chance the author somehow gets tangled in your mess. Most parents aren't very tech-savvy. We don't want an overbearing parent trying to contact us asking why a predat0ry adult is trying to p3rvert their kid, or why we're sending p0rn to their ch!ld, or putting our accounts on blast on facebook because their thirteen year old got caught commenting "omg the shower sex scene was so hot when does chapter 3 come out?" under a homoerotic smut oneshot or something.

So long story short... You wanna read smut and maybe reblog it or whatever? That's cool I guess, it's your life, reading erotica as a teen is a rite of passage, no one is gonna stop you just like no one stopped me. But never, under any circumstance, think you can, like, shoot me a PM or try to be my mutual or my online friend and don't think you can comment under my stuff and get a super friendly, lengthy response. In my personal experience, I never blocked minors that read my stuff, left a like and went on about their day, I only blocked them when I realized they were getting too comfortable wanting to talk to me. If you're under 18 and I'm verging 30, we have nothing in common besides our shared interest in whatever fandom we're both part of.

[defeateddetectives]

had the year end fic review meme brewing in the drafts and forgot all about it until now so for my own reference and posterity's sake: 2k23 edition (while its still uh january!)

apparently i used to do this every year for a while and then had several years of writerly drought so here's manifesting more words for the years ahead!! as with previous years, using metrics from ao3

Total number of completed stories: 8

Total word count: ~8k or so

Fandoms written in: drrr!! (gasp), project k, jjk, natsume yuujinchou (really truly bar revival 2k23 or die trying!!!!!)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? the last few years had totally sapped me creatively so the bar was on the floor. more than expected by that metric even if much less than i had relative to years before that.

What's your own favorite story of the year? kirigami probably! i guess the good thing about doing this a month into the new year is i dont have to mysteriously redact the yuletide reveal anymore :)

Did you take any writing risks this year? i posted drrr!! fic after ages and that wasnt bb gangsters-centric! and tried my hand at jjk characters' voices (posted only a tip of that iceberg) which was ~adventurous even though i still dont rly have a handle on em! birthright was a risk bc it was a total shot in the dark about a dynamic we havent even seen play out yet??? (more matoba siblings lore when, ms. midorikawaaaa)

Do you have any fanfic or ofic goals for the New Year? just telling myself to keep writing, dont overthink it, and remember everything you write will generally sound awkward and clunky after reading it for the 100th time without stepping away

My best story of this year: i never have an objective measure on this so my fave(s) are typically the best to me

My most popular story of this year: parthian shot & saccades are tied at this moment by ao3 kudos science if we're going by that!

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: nothing stands out over the year

Most fun story to write: a few come to mind. though it was a v tiny memefill, i had a lot of fun with where the hours bend and it came very easily! fun fact: i was in the vicinity of houjicha cheesecake at the time and it subliminally crept into the fic which i only realized much later :')

more beautiful than night was also written amidst a self-indulgent single-sitting whirlwind with so much love and really felt like going back to basics because 2nd person mkiz nonsense is my brain's default state of being apparently <3

kirigami was wildly fun in a very different way like a puzzle i needed to crack and couldnt step away from until i did

Story with the single sexiest moment: mayhaps natori shuuichi ready to throw down at his first appearance in kirgami :D while maybe not what most people would call sexy, the entire dynamic and vibe throughout (anguished repressed bidirectional longing and all) was very sexy To Me!

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: wound up contemplating izaya and celty's absolutely bonkers dynamic via zero sum game in a way i dont think i had before

Hardest story to write: kirigami bc of the mental gymnastics of remixing that original vol 28 canon arc that is an absolute masterpiece in storytelling in its own right. i was very intimidated about doing it justice and as a gift-fic as well! the months leading up to yuletide were also bananas overall so, all things considered, it's a miracle that it came through on time!!

parthian shot also comes to mind bc the current canonverse exorcists dynamic, as delicious as it is, feels so frail and tenuous and i find myself wanting to handle it with the utmost care and respect when trying to show it

Biggest Disappointment: the stories i invested a lot in, i wound up fairly happy with! [endless number of ancient wips glare at me in disappointment]

Biggest Surprise: bar revival 2k23 in its entirety tbh :') also probably the extent to which i fell into jjk/stsg hell but i guess you cant really tell from the finished works for better or worse!!!

[lynnbutlertron]

ok if i do actually finish this scudtron fanfic and make it sound decent u all have to be Really nice to me about it because i havent written anything in like 3 years ,. also i might draw supplementary pictures for it to make up for bad writing. i dunno

[throughtrialbyfire]

A (Cycle of the Serpent), G, K, and Q for the ask meme!

hi lex!!!!!!!!!! <33

A: How did you come up with the title to Cycle of the Serpent?

its part of this song, specifically this section:

Oh ouroboros The cycle of the serpent Look close It's something like a spring Pull out It looks like it's a helix Push in And wear it like a ring

it's always read to me as a contemplation on fate, on repetition and on bad habits/past traumas which never quite end. actually, i'll paste something from discord to do some of the explaining in how it relates to the fic CotS, since i think i typed up a similar question response recently!!

essentially, alchemical imagery and cycles that persist, in spite of what may be wanted. and observing those cycles from an outside view, looking close to see the details, pulling it out to see its shape, and wearing it on your hand as an acceptance. or thats my reading of it specifically applied to the fic, anyways. and the title is "pillar of Na", which can be taken as a "pillar of null/nothingness", or "pillar of salt", something which crumbles away.

also the different verses, ive tied back to them. the first/opening verse is emeros, the middle "shall i lay awake" is athenath, and "call in 'i will always love you' to the radio" is ironically wyndrelis, but any time "love" comes up for him, its a love for his friends, for his work, and for the family members he used to be close with who are now gone and to tie back to the song, i always see the "turn all eternal" part at the end as being the aedra, daedra, the people whose lives they've touched, a sort of thing saying they're not the only ones stuck in cycles. and of course the part before it is just the trio, hgjkdhfgjk. yes i grew up on amvs and songfics how can you tell-

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

a mix of both! right now, i've been trying to write CotS in chronological order, but i do have scattered scenes that i've pre-written and am building up to, plus planned concepts for things to happen later!

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

i've got dozens lol, but one of them takes place several years after CotS, where athenath gets poisoned and only has enough strength left to collapse at emeros' door. athenath nearly dies, and emeros wrote for wyndrelis to come soon bc he didnt know if he could cure whatever poison it was in time. :3

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

i like them! i havent done any in a while - mostly bc i'm very focused on my own ideas rn - but i've done collab fics in the past and greatly enjoyed it!!

thank you so much for the asks!!!!! <333333333

fanfic asks