#i havent seen a black paw yet

[nystiaa]

i love that u got a black paw it fits the vibes :D

omg that's amazing, I love it, thanks for telling me

[metfell]

I don't know if you've answered this already and I just haven't seen it, but I'm curious what materials you used for your recent painting? I love how vivid the colors are, and as a fellow traditional artist who mostly uses markers but has been wanting to dip my toe into painting, I just thought I'd ask!

oh right yeah!!! i havent answered this yet!

so ive been dipping my paws into painting and its been pretty intimidating learning how to use a brush and how to mix paints, but after a bit of practice ive kind of gotten the hang of it??

firstly if youre used to markers like me, then stick with bristol paper. i just use the strathmore bristol stuff its familiar to me. note that with painting unlike marker stuff, there comes a point where you just have to make your piece bigger if you want detail. my color studies were 5x7, and i average 11x14 for my paintings, but my latest one is 28x24 i think!

get some cheapish acrylics in large tubes or tubs in your three primary colors, an even larger thing of white, and a smaller one of black. i recommend getting a cerulean blue and an ultramarine blue, and use the ultramarine to deepen your colors rather than the black.

the paints i use mainly are liquitex, but my stuff is on campus right now so i dont know the specific types ;w;

i also recommend getting some kind of large palette with a lid you can set over it to keep your paints from drying out. i use a watercolor palette actually!

as for brushes, that's honestly something that each artist has to figure out what works for them. just buy a small flat, a large flat, and a small round, and then go from there and see what you need! i bought a spotter brush for small areas because my small round wasnt small ENOUGH.

i suggest only buying a small amount of stuff though to test if you really like painting before diving in all the way. you can make a palette out of wax paper, and just buy a small painting set until you decide its something you want to invest $50+ in.

[silenthilllz]

i should do a "warning this user does live reactions to manga/comics/books/anime/movies/video games" to like have people block my live reaction tags bc rip anyone who had to sit thru me watch all the transformer movies and shows (sorry rid2001 i never finished u or watched the weird cg japanese one with train dragon optimus prime and i cannot find earthspark anywhere, and the.. rotb movie i havent seen yet) or the nt warrior franchise,

bc yall gonna get me reacting to black jack and any other tezuka thing i can get my paws on

[writerrando]

Rabbit

This is a short horror I wrote not so long ago, I shared it on facebook, noone really cared and thought I was maybe a bit too creepy.

Ok so this is gonna sound weird..  Who am I kidding, it is fucking ubiquitously brain charred insane. I... bought a rabbit, and everything seemed fine, until... it escaped. Now, there is only couple things that could happen to a normal critter running loose in a flat. I, unfortunatelly for it, valued my computer and other electronics in my apartment. So I went out for some rat poison and when I came back, couple cabels were chewed down. I was pissed, but fortunatelly, I thought of it and bought new ones on my way in and I had some spare... Anyways, to get to the core, as I went along some of the chewed cabels... I heard a sound under an armchair. I flipped it over and there it was, but... not in a way I was expecting it to be. It was alive, happilly chewing and washing its weirdly cute nose and I just couldn't believe my eyes. It, changed, for a while I thought this might not be my rabbit because it was looking out of... place. In an anatomic way. Not wanting to do anything with it, I put it in cage and just closed it. Not really thinking about it for a few days, I forgot, couple times, that I have this monster in here. But the fourth day, I come on home after work, look at the cage ( you need to understand, I am used to getting up early and with that comes low amount of realising what is going on.) And there it was, chewing on its own fucking paw right next to ton of food I left there acumulating for four days now. I also noticed bloody and bent wires of the cage. That bastard almost got out. Ok, now I have a carnivorous weirdly looking rabbit. Is it rabies? It had to happen during the time I was out. I need to kill it. But I will get charged for abusing an animal, but what if it will get out? Man I need someone else to get a hand on this. I thought about this all as I poured myself some(moore) whiskey. And...I woke up in the morning. Ya I fucked up, it was out of its cage and I dont know where it went but let me tell you, I am not going back there. I just can't, I mean you havent seen the paw, it was... done. Chewed down to the bone, and it still got away like nothing. Either that or something else came for it. I just need to feel safe, somewhere. Just as I thought, it wasnt a good idea going to a police station with this. But anything is better I guess.... Ok, first day at the facility. I am today meeting Dr.Shaw Nice to meet you You too, please take a seat. I sat down in one of the leather futons( I must say, very less comfortable, than expected) and got to tell her every little detail. When I was leaving, she tore a piece of paper with some scribblings. Handed it to me and I went away with prescription for pills against hallucinations. And also, my family was sent to my flat to take care of the "poor" rabbit.

Claire

"Diane, hey, yeah, I am in Jonah's flat since there's supposed to be some animal running around and I am to care of it. Meet me in 15 on the corner of the street? Ya, ok goodbye." Diane looked all over the flat and there was everything which could account for a weird tale of terror. Blood on the floor, bent wires of cage? What the hell happened in there, was jonah doing some experiments with this thing? Or worse? Where is it? She heard a thump as some dust and ash fell on her head, ahe looked up and, having weird feelings she covered her face. What she saw was not even remotelly possible, yet the creature stood out in the blackness of a vent where it escaped to. It had red blare of eyes, and... somehow it was.. smiling? No that is not possible. "What in the fucking hell did you do, Jonah?!"She whispered squirming as she ran leaving the flat door open. Tomorrow morning, two passerbyes will find her in a sewer, dumped by a company, which took testing on animals too far. Who made the mistake of not perfecting the security system before letting people work there, who got breached by animal rescuers...and those rescuers... gave animals away...

[worstfruit]

BEASTMASTER

playing with names. zh'ang, bastardization of the romanization OF a translation meaning warsong, but i was just trying to find something that could sound gith so that doesnt really matter! he never goes by this tho, as his subordinates just call him master, sir, or boss. i think he would be very private about his life before joining a company (one i havent plotted out yet, though i like the idea of whatever mercenary crew he’s apart of following the idea of using assigned nicknames or titles in place of true names, even amongst the non-magic users, just for their safety or rather the integrity of the company so that their private information can’t easily be used against them).

yiz'shi, same bastard deal, this time im thinking beastmaster could be something he gained before joining a company and he just translated it to common. im not sure if the gith would have a need of surnames. i assume they’d be like uh ‘conan the brave’ or whatever, a sort of similar idea i’ve establish for my goblins where their surnames are based on trade and can changed based off merit, and their first names are given after a personality begins to appear. i think gith may be given names, then a ‘the brave’ or ‘unholy’ may follow depending on how they choose to live their life. 

zizshangi --> yizshangi --> some sort of mix between warsong/beastmaster. perhaps his true name is obscured and not even his minions know it!

im thinking he will be a shadow monk who uses his telepathy to rise in the ranks! i dont like multiclassing but i also really want to incorporate aspects of a whisper bard into this character or at least one of his underlings. i think after coming out of slavery under some mindflayers, he joins the company that frees him and starts using his monk training from the astral plane to...not convert, but to translate into the way of shadows. he would recruit the help of those who others overlook, such as kenku, kobolds, gnolls, and goblins. he’s very quiet, very observant, wears a mask often and even when he doesn’t he pretty much as a complete poker face. He chooses his words carefully but does relax around those he knows/trusts, and has a sort of dry sense of humor. Despite his psionic abiliities he’s sort of like, an idiot socially and can’t actually read people all that well. he relies on his extrasensory input and Maud (explained below) to navigate relations mostly. I’m not too sure what he looks like yet! I do want him to have the sort of vaguely asianic features a lot of githzerai have however, and i have a monk outfit in mind based off some Absolver outfits. He’s worked his way up in company rank enough to become a sort of espionage expert within the troops! This has earned the ire of some other company members, but for the most part i think this mercenary group would be pretty civil and view each other as respected associates and comrades. 

His main crew consists of two kenu, two goblins, and a tabaxi. He’s known the tabaxi longest-- im thinking she was also an underling in the company who helped him get back on his feet when they picked him up. She was a teen looking to hone her skills as a rogue and he helped her learn the art of stepping lightly and always keeping an ear to the ground. Looking at tabaxi names I’m thinking she probably has some dumbass one like ‘quick of paw’ but they just started calling her Maraud, which turned into Maud LOL. She’s all black and has short, sleek, shiny fur, brownish/maroon irises, pointed ears and big paws with her claws usually unsheathed. She’s become a mastermind rogue who trains two (also totally black, yellow eyed) kenku twins as a thief and scout under Beastmaster’s tutelage. She’s very streetsmart and has a gravelly sort of raspy voice from years of working as a slave (able to rise as a slavemaster who was tasked with yelling orders to the other slaves and cracking the whip). She’s a bit matronly, very wry and slinky and coy, and very good with people. Typical scorpio but with a flair of aires determination and single mindedness. She’s very driven, but has the life experience to keep herself grounded and logical. She’s beastmaster’s most trusted associate and essentially the brains behind his crew, at least second to him. She’s the boss when he’s not around, but while strict, she has a HUGE softspot for her sort of adopted siblings. She gets along well enough with the rest of the company.

The two kenkus are fraternal twins, a bit younger than Maud, named Lasher (girl) and Bowstring. Lasher is the thief and Bow is the scout. They were orphaned and picked up by the company shortly before absorbing the refugees from the Mindflayer slaveship so they never really had birthnames afa the company was concerned. They speak through sign language, body language and gesture, facial expressions, and a sort of quick-hand morse code they’ve developed from both thieves cant as well as the company cant. They can’t easily speak to people outside the company, and even within the ranks they have trouble communicating without parroting, which they don’t seem to like doing unless it’s to mock someone. Their inability to speak, however, lends to their spy nature as people often underestimate their intelligence and perception. Though they can’t fly, they’re quick when racing across building tops and through tree canopy and prefer high vantage points to preform their work. Beastmaster is a very silent person who gets along well with these two, using his telepathy and patience to forge a mentor relationship with them and cultivate their infiltration and investigative skills. Lasher loves to read anything she can get her feather little fingers on, and often steals what she can’t buy. She’s not too girly but does enjoy fantasizing about the high life noble ladies lead and likes to collect trinkets she thinks represent this such as bows, perfume bottles, bits of mirror and buttons. Bowstring likes to help his sister with her plights but is much more grounded and serious. he’s dry and sardonic and takes himself a little too seriously. even for a mute, he’s very silent and a little shy and prefers to hide behind Maud or beastmaster or even Lasher. He get’s his name for his skills as a ranger, whereas lasher gets hers from her talons and tendency to use them when people get too close to her or her brother. she gets along better with the rest of the company however, and likes to be seen as cute even if she feels she’s being condescended on. she and her brother work spectacularly together, along with beastmaster and maud, and don’t mind being separated for missions or otherwise.

The two goblin (identical!) twins’ names are Fritz and Racket and they are, respectively, a storm sorcerer and a storm barbarian! obviously they’re not as subtle as the rest of the gang despite being gobs, in fact they get their nicknames from their quirks of being loud, aggressive, and favoring a sort of berserker approach to confrontation. Fritz is the caster, Racket is the muscle, and both feed off each’s other whole uh, storm bullshit. they both worship an elemental goblin deity but very very casually, it’s more of hero worship, and beastmaster sorta thinks they might have a touch of wild magic and a fixation on LOUD and FLASHY shit hence the storm kick. they’re very loyal, very brave, and only a little stupid. they both have tempers and don’t like comments about their height. very easy to bait into confrontation especially if they’re together. they’re not the kinda twins who walk together in unison and finish each other’s sentences (like the kenku twins, who similarly work off each other’s energies for their work), but they are usually together and look almost exactly alike. Fritz is a bit slimmer and taller, a bit pointier and a bit more spastic and shrill. He’s weaker than his brother but is smarter. He also has a worse temper and despite not being a melee fighter, will not hesitate to tackle anyone and just use his claws and teeth. Racket is a bit calmer but dumber, more gullible, and a lot stronger. He’s only a tad quieter than his brother but is also more physically aggressive and tends to stomp and throw shit around, hence his name. he usually follow’s frtiz’s lead if beastmaster isn’t around, but the both defer to Maud for instruction. They’re technically younger than the kenku twins if you account for the fact that goblins age quicker than kenku, they’re only slightly older! they’re more immature, however, and usually need more corralling than anyone else. unlike lasher and bow, fritz and racket dont like being seperated, but usually dont have to be since they don’t do much espionage. if they are dispatched for such tasks, it’s usually a matter of blending into busy, or sketchy environments rather than being silent and shadowy. they’re useful for intimidation, distraction, firepower, and muscle.

the last notable character i’ve cooked up is a kobold, the youngest (but again due to kobold age, its not like hes a baby technically) named Rak! he’s not very skilled in anything but he considers himself an inventor and makes really pathetic little stick contraptions that use like. shitty venoumous bugs and stink bombs LOL. i dont even know what class he’d be. no magic skills, too dumb and loud for espionage. he’s sort of a little mascot for the company and everyone treats him like a pet, but beastmaster took pity on him and lets him tag along with them. fritz and racket think hes funny and usually just throw him in a bag or like, if they have to fight, put him in a pocket till theyre done. he doesn’t get in the way too much and every now and again is a bit useful to get into super small places or to do errands like deliveries or shopping or cleaning. he got his name bc he makes a sorta RAK sound a lot when scared or startled or hurt or excited or mad. like a mouse goes EEK but he’s a stupid lizard guy so he goes RAK!

[somephsycicchick]

Old farm house with Em

Last summer I was staying for a few days, four I think, at my cousin's house about an hour in the opposite direction of town than my place. They have a farm, just as I do and my cousin Emma is a year younger than me but is like one of my bestfriends and we both have a love of horse riding. So im at their house for the second night and me and Em are downstairs in her room, bored, and eveyrone is asleep but her older brother. We decide to go out for a horse ride at lleven o'clock and just go for a short ride down the main rode and up the hill abput a mile from their house. We told her brother we were going, so that someone knew where we were incase something happened to us. She rode her riding horse, Oreo, and I took a newer horse, named Stitch, that her mom, my blood aunty, had been training for a few months after buying the horse. So basically the horse was fairly young, old enough to ride, but not that well trained yet and fairly skidish. I have been riding horses since I was a child so i'm very experienced with them and have rode many worse than Stitch. So we rode for a while wigth our flashlights leadin the way, it was very cloudy that night, and we eventually reached to top of the hill and stopped for a minute to take a drink of our hot teas and Em starts telling us a story about the old farm house, it was about a hundred or so meters from us, and how the kids at her school talk about it being haunted and how some old murderer or witch used to live there and Blah-blah-blah oh boy its so scary everyone talks about it but noones ever even gone inside. So I, the dumbass, say we should go check it out. Em is mortified, yet excited, so she agrees. We ride down to the barbwire fence and ge off the horses, being that there is no gate or opening to get in from. We walk throgh the field and im getting excited, I love doing stupid stuff like this, I'm very not scared by supernatural stuff because I know how to handle it (most of the time). So we get on the porch and the bords are super old and rotted out, from rain being blown onto it so we're careful not to step on any of the super shitty ones and I go through the open door first, flashlight raised to see the creepyest old rotting house ive ever seen. The floors were about the only semi sturdy thing in the place. There was a large entrance room infront of us and a broken staircase to the left, the walls were horrificaly covered in symbols written in what I would guess to be charcoal or black paint. Em stepped in behind me and gasped as she looked around at the walls, I was getting a seriously bad vibe from this place and it was getting stronger by the minute, when there are dark spirits or energys around me I get a metalic taste in my mouth, like the taste of blood or biting on a piece of tinfoil. Em stepped past me and walked into the room, looking around at the drawing with her flashlight. I was just about to tell her that I was getting strong signs that we should leave when I got a spine chilling feeling of cold wet fingers trailing down my lower back, shocked by the abrupt contact from spirit my body ran cold and I spun around, the front door slammed closed and it literally shook the house, me and Em screamed in sync and I looked to my right down a long dark hallway only see a tall shadowed figure, the hallway was pitch black but the figure was darker than the dark (if that makes sense) I was screaming continuously now, I pulled on the door and it didn't open, Em was right beside me, panicking and I had to yell at her to help me. We yanked on the door together and it finally let go and i swung it open, holding onto Em's arm and sprinting forward to GTFO but Em was poulled out of my grasp and fell through one of thebords of the deck, she fell on her stomach and screamed her loungs out, I quickly dropped down to pull her up, all while staring into the house in horror, praying nothing else will happen. We get up and jump over the stairs and bolt through the field with our flashlights whirling in our hands and hearts racing. When we got back to our horses they were naying and pawing at the ground wanting to leave. I havent been to the house since then but I've seen tons of other things with Em in and around the community she lives in.

[firstpuffin]

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake

-Note: It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my comments around the visuals of A Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening are straight-up incorrect. The two games did not share the same visual style and I honestly don’t know why I said that; I most definitely knew better. Still, I’m not going to get rid of it because the internet needs more examples of people admitting to be being wrong.

I say a lot that I want to be positive, but it’s really gonna be hard with this one. See, at the latest Nintendo Direct it was announced that they would be releasing a remake of the 26 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. As it happens I was already considering writing something about this game in a “Games from my Childhood” article, but that would actually have been positive! This one is… well, I’m going to at least try and balance every negative with a positive.

-at least the title screen looks good-

  So where to begin: I won’t cover the story because spoilers but how about some personal background? The game came out a year before I did (ha! bad jokes) and I have no idea when I got my grubby little paws on it, but it was a part of my life genuinely for as long as I can remember, along with the Pokémon games. I never completed it as a child, but my memories of it were so good that I returned to it as an adult and completed it, learning its sad secret.

-hey! according to this it released the same year I did; me getting my years mixed up I guess-

  Link’s Awakening (LA) was originally a pet project made outside of work hours which is why it borrows resources from other games such as the Mario series, but it was eventually released to critical acclaim. The gameplay is much the same as its immediate predecessor A Link to the Past (LttP), but with a number of new items and a unique soundtrack. Visually it is much the same as well, although its original release was black and white for the GameBoy with Link’s Awakening DX adding colour for the GameBoy Colour.

  So let’s start with the visuals as that is most of what we have right now: the original shared its visuals with LttP what with them using the same assets (tools, resources etc) and LttP had a sequel recently that looked really nice. But the upcoming LA remake looks nothing like it; I wouldn’t expect it to but when a defence of the artistic choice is that “it’s an update of the original graphics” (so why not use the assets from the LttP remake?) or that it somehow “reflects the atmosphere of the original” except there’s no reason for it to be any different to, again, the LttP remake. And in response to the “atmosphere”, LA was one of the darker yet in some ways more whimsical games; this new style is childish to the extreme.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love something that is good and childish, but there is a level when it stops being great and starts to feel like they condescend to the player. Bright colours, simple faces, high pitched noises- Oh god the noises!! I’ll expand on the sounds later but I’m still on the visuals. I’ve heard the game described as looking like Claymation, which isn’t wrong, but my immediate thought was that it looked like cheap plastic. And after watching it again and again as I discussed it with a friend, this opinion stuck.

-tell me this doesn’t look like claymation; this isn’t a game, it’s an animated short film-

  You know how shiny and tacky cheap plastic usually looks? Imagine an entire game like that; an entire world like that. Fans of anime may understand what I say next, but there is a large element of “chibi” in this new game. Large head, tiny body. It’s often seen in short 4 minute spin offs of popular series.

-as you can see, chibi is hardly meant to be taken seriously-

-just to hammer things home-

  So shiny plastic, silly chibi art with a soulless expression. Oh yeah, that. Link’s eyes have zero soul behind them. Zero. He’s a freakin’ monster. Have you seen those Funko Pops? You know how empty they look? Some have said it somehow reflects the original game’s art again, but back then they didn’t have the technology to make him look soulless and young me always thought he looked determined; it was really cool.

-determined; dead inside-

Okay, so I said I would try and be fair, and I have shat upon the plasticine toy-box long enough, so here’s what is good visually. The areas are actually really nice. 

Ignoring the nail varnish sheen on everything, things are really detailed. There is an unfortunate trend in games, likely due to technical limitations, to have flat textures. Basically, imagine the difference between a tile or wood panel floor, and a picture of a tile or wood panel floor. But this game looks to have really tried in these areas. The grass looks thick and lush, tiles look like more than a photograph on the floor and even the flat flowers on the ground look decent. Just a shame it all looks like LEGO. Actually, a LEGO Zelda game would be awesome. But this is not that.

  I haven’t explained that very well, it’s an area that I am new at but I will say that clearly a lot of care has gone into the assets and the world. It is not a lazy game in any way.

-don’t tell me those trees and rocks and- well, everything, don’t look like LEGO-

Next I’m going to talk about the sound. First of all, I’m convinced that they have artificially increased the pitch of Link’s voice so it is painfully sharp to the ears. I’ll admit, I have an unusual sensitivity to lights and sound and thus I prefer darker colours and quieter sounds; I avoid clubs like the plague and not just because I’ll likely catch it there. So maybe, just maybe, I’m noticing something that won’t be a problem for most, and is just unfortunate for me. And let’s ignore that it doesn’t match the darker tone of the game.

  And the music? Also quite high pitched. And super cheery. It doesn’t have either the dreamlike or dark tones that could be expected (and just thinking of how it could be dreamlike gives me shivers; it could be so good) but is instead inanely cheery. In fact, I hope they sped everything up for the trailer and the pitch is just an unfortunate side-effect.

  On the plus side, the trailer opens with a cool cinematic and I swear the music changes from a nice, cheerful rendition (I don’t dislike cheerful in-and-of-itself) of the Zelda main theme to the death squeals of various instruments that I mentioned before. On top of that, it ends on a really nice vocal version of the LA theme, Ballad of the Wind Fish. If the trailer had been the cinematic and that closing song alone then I would be beyond excited about the remake. Thank heaven it wasn’t, I’m not sure my love of the series could survive such a plummeting disappointment.

-and here’s the actual trailer for your perusal- 

So I’ll finish here. I was originally very pleased, excited even that they had decided to remake what was a favourite, underrated and apparently forgotten game, but I kept my expectations low because I knew what to expect from these companies. I thought I did anyway. I was still disappointed. I thought I had prepared for the worst. Still, at least it gave me something to write about.

  But, the game has clearly had a lot of work put into it and gameplay-wise it actually looks to flow really well so I’m sure it controls like a treat. But the visuals and music are too big of a deal for me to let slide; if it keeps up like this then it could literally be painful for me to play. Still, games do change a lot from the initial trailer to its release and I even put forth an idea of why the sound may hurt me so much here. Maybe the final game will be a lot better. Unfortunately, the things I want to be done in games and such rarely are, and I am often alone in my complaints.

And finally, yes I am aware that the famous and incredibly popular Wind Waker entry in the series also had similar complaints and became, as I said, incredibly popular. I wasn’t a part of that crowd, I was too young and honestly, Link’s Awakening was the only Zelda game I had actually played at that time. 

[the80hbee]

okay time for me to BARREL INTO THIS IDEA with all of my excited Naturalist Hippie Knowledge, while gladly ignoring the fact that fantasy england probably has pretty different life from where I live dhshdhdjdjd

halt and crowley the fox duo I honestly just love too much I ain’t making any suggestion there no sir I am not changing that we can forcefully create those as species in araluen if necessary

and let me say before I go on that at some point halt ABSOLUTELY makes this joke ab gilan and will. “little fox? you mean the little fucks?” and with the slight hibernian accent I will just forcefully create the reality that it’s similar to how my friend with a french (canadian) accent says “fox” which sounds a Lot like “fucks” SO

:readmore:

berrigan: songbird? unacceptable /j /lh Imma put forth varied thrush bc 1. I like varied thrushes and I like berrigan 2. varied thrushes have unique haunting sad beautiful songs. which ik doesn’t 100% fit berrigan ig you could’ve gone with a robin or whatever w their pretty jaunty songs but a varied thrush has more Character, man. “haunting buzzy minor key monotone whistles” they sound rly cool. plus they’re kinda reclusive and not often seen by people walking around in the woods, only if they wanna be seen, so usually you just hear them when they decide they wanna sing. sounds rangery to me

will: I like the feline thought, and I’m thinking perhaps bobcat or eurasian lynx or whatever if you wanna make it more fantasy england appropriate (both in the lynx family). silly tufty ear bois but all the feline qualities of stealth and waiting stalking and knocking shit off shelves to fuck with people. big paws to be quiet bois. I say bobcat though bc they’re not as much like Snow Boi High Elevation Lads which I don’t think will would appreciate given. skandia. and other lynxes are more that vibe. further north you get, in general, the thicker the fur gets and the bigger the paws get on lynxes. and honestly lots of snow animas lmao. maybe we can make up a species for will 🤝 black lynx bc I love that like lineage from halt

gilan: I’d say this bitch is like an american bittern or smthn KSJDHDHDHDKS (give that bird a google. I love them. one of my favorite existing things. I saw one once and got great pics of it and saw it CATCH A FISH AND EAT IT so it’s forever embedded in my heart. this is your notification that I am in fact also a nature nerd and an atypical birder, which is really just other words for bird nerd, but not the kind who tried to check off life lists and buys increasingly expensive equipment, which hey valid if that’s what boats your float, but I’m just gonna run out and make tiny happy stims and watch the birds and be like lmfao what is this mfer doing this absolute LAD and create some bird memes and be like wow the Character the absolute Sass and occasionally nerd out identifying new ones and-right uh anyway) american bitterns are HILARIOUS they are long, yet they are chonk. they sound like weird water pump glunk-a-glunk things, and it’s a sound that travels for miiiles. also reclusive and not usually seen, only heard. they’re a part of the heron family (LMAOOOOOOO THAT WASNT ON PURPOSE BUT NOW IT IS-) I feel like lewis would just joke about how gilan should’ve been codenamed araluen bittern after the whatever happens with bb crossover (HAVENT READ IT DONT SPOIL) and given the way he is and so on. but actually, his code name is maybe. uh. I’m actually stumped, so I’m just gonna assign him some raptory predatory bird-great sure we’ll go with red tailed hawk SHDHDJD

what is the spacing ;-; thanks mobile

well, finally, pritchard: I love the little chicks thing DHSHDHJDDJ though I could also so see him calling them his little cubs or something if pritchard was a black bear (or brown bear?), just a thought. you’d be surprised by how stealthy black bears can be. though eh at the same time. they’re rangers. so. I think of golden eagle for pritchard, for some reason. little eagles! too many birds in the rangers to rly call them little birds I think. and so the chicks remain

let me return to crowley and halt: the fox duo. pritchard gives halt his code name as the final parting gift before halt heads to araluen — and crowley and halt realize they were both mentored by pritchard and then that they were both made into foxes by pritchard. the renegades absolutely refer to them as the foxes because they’re an inseparable and indomitable duo. absolute forces of nature. even when crowley becomes commandant, halt is obviously his unofficial second/right hand man type whatever, and so it’s often that the leadership is referred to as “the foxes”.

retired rangers largely still keep the right to their code name. there’s enough animals y’all lmao. BUT. if a retired ranger forms a bond with an apprentice, they can choose to offer their code name to that apprentice as they graduate, and the apprentice can choose whether or not they’d like to take up the mantle. it gave crowley such a paperwork headache the first time a retired ranger approached him about it (bc I feel like it’s a thing crowley would do/allow) but as long as he keeps a very up to date list of who retired when, then there shouldn’t be issues with confusing which “sparrow” it was who did what.

because I also definitely believe that the retired rangers do Not just sit around castle araluen helping crowley with paperwork. and I think crowley absolutely Would implement some kind of mentoring program shit where apprentices spend time with the retirees and spend a month at some point in their apprenticeship swapped with another apprentice in their year, to get a different mentoring style/rangerly approach/etc. beneficial for all. Anyway.

oh god sorry if I absolutely just bulldozed through with that

What if rangers used code names?

What would the names be? I think they'll use animal names, cause why not?

But who would have what? They'd be animals that exist in Araluen, but by tradition, the ranger can't chose the name themselves. And I think the name would be based of their apprenticeship.

A few suggestions:

Halt: Black fox

Crowley: Red fox

Berrigan: Song bird

Will: Black cat

Gilan: Lone wolf?

Pritchard: White? eagle

---

As apprentices they'll be called something like little- and then whatever their mentor is.

So Gilan and Will would be called 'little fox'. And Crowley and maybe Halt would be called 'little bird'. Although Pritchard has called them 'his chicks' repeatedly. They still get teased about it by the renegade rangers.

Halt still calls Will little fox sometimes. So does Crowley though, and so does nearly every ranger.

I will think it would be nice. Just to have the funnys

[insanityxofxmuses]

Unexpected Meeting | Shade and Kitty

this is a little ... drabble of one of my characters meeting a friend of mines character. may continue.... we shall see... ugh... hope its good enough for him... 

kitty moved along the floor of the forest in her black kitten form, she was running from a hunter. they had seen her while she was in her fox form and she had to slip into a different form to lose them. 

pausing, she listened to where the hunter was, how far behind her he was. 

“ill get ya, ya red furred bastard. stop eating my chickens!” she heard the man call out as he still searches. 

Kitty never attacked anyone’s chickens and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. so she ran more, and in the distance she found a clearing. in the clearing she found a man, she was in such a bad situation that she didnt focus on what he was but ran up to him anyway. 

“mew! mew!” she tried getting his attention and leaped onto his lap as he was meditating. she could hear the hunter getting closer. she pawed at the strangers cheek as she tried so hard to ask for help. ‘im not a normal cat... please help me...’ she thought, not at all knowing if he could hear her. 

just as the hunter came out into the clearing, the strangers eyes opened and glowed a white color. he moved his hand to pick up the kitten and lifted himself to his feet to face the hunter. 

“what is the matter?” his voice was almost a soothing tone to kitty as he spoke to the hunter, who now looked confused. 

“i was searching for a fox, thats been eating my chickens lately and i chased it this way.” the hunter replied. 

“all that there is here, is my pet kitten, and you have frightened her.” the stranger said, calmly, as he lifted his free hand to pet her head gently. “i havent seen a fox around here in a while, so it might have gone the other way?” she felt the man shrug, as she watched the two men talk. 

“eh whatever, keep your cat close... the fox will eat her.” the hunter said. he huffed and turned to walk away. 

after the hunter left, the strange man then sat back down on the ground and set kitty down. 

“alright little one, i sense your not a normal little kitten.. “ he said with a small smile, “do not be frightened, show yourself.” 

he motioned toward the closest tree to them, obviously interested in wanting to see her true form. kitty looked at him, and mewed again and trotted over to walk around the tree. 

she walked from one side, as a black shorthaired kitten. from the other side of the tree she walked out in her human form. she wore a small top that showed her belly, and a skirt that stopped mid thighs.  she also wore knee high leather boots that had sais slid into them. she looked human, except for the cat ears she had, with red fox furr. the top half of her shoulder blade length hair, was ginger, and the bottom half was jet black. 

��well aren’t you interesting?” the man said out loud. 

kitty cocked her head to the side, her ears twitched. 

“thank you for helping me...” she said softly, her head now bowing down as she looked to the ground. “i am sorry for disturbing your meditation.” 

she wasn’t sure if she should move or not, when the man stood and walked towards her. she winced a bit away, but was too afraid to run.

“why were you running, Little one?” he asked, as he moved his index finder under her chin to make her look up at him. “you were so fearful...” 

“i.. i was a fox... but not the fox that man thinks.. i never hurt any chickens, i swear it.” she blurted out. her eyes started to tear up as she stood looking at the strange man who made her look at him. 

“i saved you, and yet you fear me? why?” he asked her. she blinked. 

“bad past with men... men hurt me all the time....” she said quietly but quickly. she was now confused as to why she even answered him. 

“if i put my weapons down far away, with you calm down, Little one? maybe we can sit.. and talk... you are alone, yes?” he spoke soothingly, his thumb now caressing her chin subconsciously. 

kitty nodded “o-ok..” she said, and watched as he unequipped whatever weapons he carried. and set them down. he motioned for her to do the same. and she slowly put her sais with his weapons. 

“now come. we shall sit her in the grass and chat, alright?” he said, taking her hand gently “my name is Shade, what is your name?” he spoke as he walked a few feet away from the weapons. 

“my name is kitty...” she informed him and she watched him sit. he patted the ground in front of him, and she joined him. 

“well, now we aren’t quite strangers anymore, huh?” he smiled at her, and she slowly smiled with him. 

[plastercasterdemo]

the fox character map

ok. i know i havent gotten ‘round to publishing paul OR genes origin story, but i really wanted to do everyones favorite boy eric in my au!! you can read spaceman here and catman here! (read catman to get a sense of this story :p)

origin story:

after his creation of the catman, cancer researcher emelio santiago has fled new york city, leaving his wife, kids, and family without a trace. it is three years later in his own scientific lab in a small farmhouse in ohio. still curious about his creation of the catman, he is dedicating his new “experiment” to also attempt to make a human/animal hybrid.

trigger warning: includes mentions of harming animals (injecting them) and violence! please proceed with caution!

santiagos pov

This past winter was cold and brutal. The wind blew so harshly on my windows, I am suprised my panes did not splinter and fall apart. The house had no insulation, causing me to keep a fire lit every hour of the day. I stay in the basement, the coldest part of the house, preparing for my next experiment.

The refrigerator in my basement was full of HeLa. I spent hours a day curing the cells, moving them from petrie dish to petrie dish so they can continue to grow. By March, I had a large collection of over 300 dishes full of the cancerous cells.

The basement was almost always damp, causing me to walk around with, at the cery least, my slippers on at all times. The only light that was wired up was a small, dangling bulb coming from the joists that held up the main floor of the house. Damp, watery dirt was seeping through the cinder blocks in almost every two feet of space. Though not as clean as the lab I had previously worked in, my personal basement lab was a very well hidden away room, one in which I could store things no man should keep in his house.

When the ground started to thaw, I put on my boots with the good traction and set out the cages to catch the next animal for my experument. As I was living in a large field surrounded by trees, foxes often roamed across my yard, searching for food.

When I caught one in my trap, still alive, I grabbed the cage and took it inside and down into my basement. It whined a little as I opened the hatch to my lab, the room as dark as night.

“Quiet,” I found myself speaking to it as it whimpered with every step I took. We went down the stairs and I went to the center of the room, turned on the bulb and watched as light flooded the area within five feet of the light.

I set the fox down.

Silently, I wheeled the small table under the light and set the cage on top of that, studying the fox for the first time. It was a large male, with matted fur around his mouth. His paws were dirty, and his tail gritty. He whined once more as I stuck my face next to his, clearly scared of our interaction.

Grabbing a flashlight, I make my way to the fridge and grab a dish of cancer cells. The fox watches me as I do so. I apply gloves to my hands and grab my tools to preform the test.

I stick the needle full of cells into the fox, and it yelps as I start to work. Its breaths slow down, its chest heaving up and down before I realize I must act quickly.

Once I gather the cells from the fox (a mix of HeLa and its own cells), I put them in the fridge to grow. I remove the fox’s body from my lab so to not attract flies, throwing it outside my door for other animals to enjoy.

I wait a few weeks before conducting my experiment, gathering the courage to become Dr. Frankenstein once more. The Catman was an accidental creation, but now, I am attempting to do the same on purpose.

In my basement is a deep freezer. To my best ability, I have preserved the body of an Eric C. using ice and keeping him wet. His skin has turned a yellowish color, but other than that, there was no sign of decay. His fingernails were still intact, his curly black hair was still attached to his skull.

He was a handsome man, aged about 30. I had found him on the side of the road, inside a vehicle that had been burnt. Miraculously, his body had not been scorched, only his clothing had been touched. I knew the minute I saw him there, half dangling out of his car, that this miracle will bring good fortune to my experiment.

I drag him out of my freezer and place him on the same table I had operated on the fox. His lifeless body was ice cold to the touch. The light hit his features, revealing his face to me for the first time since I had retrieved his body.

I collect my journal from the shelf and date the page, titling it Eric. Car Accident + Fox and HeLa. I walk over to the table and get ready to preform.

With shaky hands, I begin to put those fox cells into him. I wait a moment before doing it again. And again. And thrice more.

I scoff, aggravated at myself. What am I not doing correctly now? I start up the stairs to retrieve my old notes when the steel table creeks from behind me.

“Eric?” I call, not facing him and a playful tome to my voice.

“I am here.”

His voice is deep, yet bubbly at the same time. I turn around and face him. He is sitting atop the table, looking at his bare body. The light bounces off his black curls and chest hairs. He looks at me, his Creator, his Father, and his eyes light up.

“I am here,” he repeats, with excitement in his voice. “I was just at the gates of Heaven, soeaking to our great Lord! I have seen him! Our Master is real!”

“Now, this is not the Great Awakening, my dear child,” I say, approaching him. “Don’t speak such nonsense to I, your new Master. I shall believe it when I meet Him myself.”

I take my notebook in my hand and begin to quiz Eric. He behaves much like the Catman had when he first awoke. He remembers his early parts of his life, his deeds; however, does recognize he had died. Unlike the Catman, a man who I assume had lacked religion in his day to day life, was able to recite descriptions of Heaven. He was able to tell me about his death in great detail— he was on his way to visit his girlfriend in Corton, Ohio, when his engine caught fire. He describes to me in depth what the feeling of death was like.

“Thank you, Mr. Eric,” I say, closing my notebook. “You’ve been very helpful in my study.”

“Thank you, sir,” he says, pushing himself off the table.

“Ah,” I say, putting a hand on his chest. “You cannot leave, however. You see, in about two weeks time, you will turn part animal, as my previous creation had. You will turn raging and sick, attempting to kill whoever you see. We don’t want you going out and about like this, now, do we?”

He wraps his hand around my arm, pulling it away from him. His face turns to one of an angry countenance, snarking at me.

“You cannot keep me here!”

“You, are my son,” I say kindly, looming into his eyes. “My second son whom I intend to keep a thoughtful eye upon. You wouldn’t want to make your father upset now, would you?”

“My father?” he says, backing away from me. “You aren’t my father. My only Father is the one who lives in Heaven, who gave me a second life, a second Chance! You cannot be my father!”

“Eric, I say calmly. “What did I say about speaking nonesense? God is dead. I am your God.”

His fists ball up at his sides, his face heated with anger. As he lunged at me, I revealed what I had behind my back: a needle with liquid gold within it. He jumps at me, and I stab him in the chest, filling his heart with the injection.

He falls calmly to the ground, still breathing, but slowly. His arms sprawl across the floor, his chest moving up and down slowly, like the fox had done in its last moments.

“If I am to have a son, a second son whom I can keep and study, then my son will not be blood hungry. My son will have a heart of gold.”

[hopelesslydimwitted]

au for lion rescue/refuge workers bc i havent seen one yet

ok so the cast of voltron right, but they work for an organization that rescues/takes cares of wildlife, specifically lions for the purpose of this post

the organization is called Voltron Wildlife Rescue or smth

each lion they have is harmlessly tagged for purposes of identification for medication, treatment, rehabilitation, etc

each tag must be easily identifiable from afar

thus, ear tags that won’t bother the animals are colored! there’s black, red, green, blue, and yellow (obviously)

the organization was founded by Alfor and Coran, and their daughter Allura

they were world travellers and crossed seas and continents, exploring all there was to explore

sometime along the way, they came across a man Zarkon? who offered them a job that would pay them a lot of money to travel the world with his cargo: they refused when they found out it involved trapping, harming, and illegally transporting live animals

maybe Alfor had plans to take Zarkon and his company to court, planning to ruin his business and throw him in jail? maybe that’s how he died (assassination)?

Alfor was the business side and took to finding investors and filing all the legal work needed to start it up

Coran busied himself with gathering fellow veterinarians, such as himself, and other staff to help  

Allura was probably a teenager or younger when it all started, but her adventurous little self was so enthusiastic and loves every animal that comes through with her entire heart 

her father(s) required that she finished school before she could work at Voltron full-time

Shiro has been working there the longest, save for the founder's daughter/friend, Allura and Coran

he bonded very quickly with the only lion of the pride, tagged Black

Black was the first one rescued as a cub, probably from a ring of smugglers or poachers

Black has a prosthetic front right leg, much like Shiro’s prosthetic 

he’s not as social as the others, except for with Shiro and Allura

he’s known Allura his entire life, but bonded with Shiro after spending like an hour examining every nook and cranny of his prosthetic

Shiro started working at the rescue shortly after the accident that took his arm; Alfor had approached him and offered him a job

b/c Alfor had offered him a new start on life, Shiro mourned alongside Allura and Coran when Alfor died

there have been many times when Coran or Allura is driving around the land near the HQ and they’ve caught Shiro and Black snoozing together, the lazy bastards

occasionally Shiro is propped up against Black’s side, but most of the time Black is between Shiro’s legs with his giant head on Shiro’s shoulder

Shiro constantly finds coarse lion mane hair when he showers

Keith started working there shortly after getting expelled from college or smth

he bonded with the moody lioness cub with the bright Red tag

Red was as temperamental as they come, almost always roaring/hissing/scratching at the helping hands that came her way

Keith, the poor boy, was assigned to get her into a crate so that the vets could give her a check-up. they’d probably already gotten her in a closed-off area to make things easier when she gave the scariest, squeaky roar that a lioness cub could give

he popped a squat and sat right there in the enclosure, staring at her as she paced (and eventually sat down)

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I’m your buddy” he says, and various versions of that

he tries again once or twice and nearly loses a finger

after about an hour or so of this, he managed to get Red to her check-up

the next time Red saw him, she bumped against his leg and purred the way she’d seen Black and Blue doing to their humans

he won’t tell anyone about the time he almost pissed himself when he was sitting on the ground, relaxing under some shade with his lunch, and Red came up and curled up in his lap

he thought he was going to die, he even gave her his entire chicken-tuna-salad sandwich as a peace offering

he also won’t tell anyone how proud he is of how big and strong Red gets each day 

Pidge is the child of a veterinary genius that befriended Alfor and Coran

they like the runt of the pride most, a curious little lioness cub they’ve dubbed Green

Green was found malnourished in a circus probably, which is why she’s so small

Pidge calls her Smol Green Pea

Green hates it, yet finds herself responding to it

Pidge isn’t really staffed at Voltron, but visits the Holt boys a lot and explores around the nearby property

they let out the most pathetic squeal when they found Green staring down at them from the tree they were under, her big eyes locked onto Pidge

they thought they were gonna be lion cub lunch

Green just wanted someone to play with, and absolutely loved the flailing straps on Pidge’s backpack

Pidge is hardly ever seen without Green at her side, even when Green is getting a check-up

Green refuses to get a shot unless Pidge is holding her paw

Pidge can explore more of Voltron property with Green at their side, because let’s face it Pidge gets lost ALL THE TIME, too busy being entranced by everything around them or nose too deep in a book they’re reading while walking

Green is the only reason Pidge can make it back to HQ each day

there’s also a little rescued lilac-breasted roller bird that Pidge all but adopted

its name is Rover, and Pidge keeps begging their father to let them take the little sweetheart home with them one day

Pidge plans on going to veterinary school (early, mind you) and getting a degree so they can help Coran and the other Holts out with taking care of the animals that come in

Hunk helps out with the vets and vet techs, preparing special diets when needed and helping Coran to fix any mechanical problems that arise

he got closest to a pregnant lioness that came in with a Yellow tag

when Yellow was rescued, she was in poor health and the vets weren’t sure if she was going to make it, but thankfully Hunk was able to specialize a diet that started to bring up her health again

after Yellow’s health was good enough, they let her onto the main Voltron property, and just made sure to keep an eye on her in case her health dropped again

she stayed close, and often cuddled or laid with Hunk on his time off

Hunk went away for a few days near the end of her pregnancy, maybe to gather stuff that the vets/vet techs needed

the vets got worried when they couldn’t find Yellow, but figured it was just time for her to give birth (and altea knows they won’t test a lioness that just gave birth with a check-up)

Hunk was in for quite the surprise when he came back to his designated dorm room to a new mother-Yellow and her cubs

due to her previously poor health, only one cub had survived

Hunk took charge of nursing Yellow back to health after her delivery

everyone agrees that the most loving lioness of the pride is Yellow, mostly because she looks at Hunk like he’s “the greatest thing in the world, her light and savior, the best being she’s ever laid eyes on” (as narrated by Lance)

everyone else agrees w/ that

Lance volunteered for a summer at Voltron, hoping that volunteering at a Wildlife Refuge would look good on his college applications (he also took pictures with Green, much to her dismay, so he could show it off the cuties he wants to woo)

he absolutely fell in love during his time there

he was with Hunk when he found Yellow’s cubs, and helped him and Yellow nurse the survivor

her tag is Blue, but she responds more readily to his many nicknames

Beautiful, Gorgeous, Baby Girl, Babe, Sweetheart, Darling, Angel, Sunshine, Lovely, Light Of My Life, the list goes on

he was one of the main ones to nurse Blue, and he’s embarrassed on how protective and possessive he was of her when she was still really little

he wouldn’t let anyone but Hunk or the vets hold her, not even Shiro or Allura

“she likes things a specific way, it’s just easier if I keep her than to explain it all again”

he was only supposed to be working there for 13 weeks, but he and Blue bonded so close they were practically the same being

Hunk sent him a video of Blue crying for him, and that’s when Lance knew that he had to go back. he hasn’t regretted it since

he and Blue are Voltron’s Power Couple

whenever they go around for fundraising or to raise awareness, Blue is always the one they bring

sometimes Lance will ask her to do things (she’ll do anything for a treat, if it’s Lance asking), but most of the time it’s Shiro or Allura being “all educational and all that quiznak” while he and Blue are cuddling it out in the spotlight

everyone loves it 

Lance always gives Keith a hard time for how stubborn Red is with her affection, while Blue is all but connected at the hip

Keith gives him a hard time when Blue starts to become too big for Lance to carry around in his arms

i just want all of the lion cuddles, i have a mighty need

[nonsequitursegues]

💕💕hi again!!! ooh i love black cats, mine's very orange though skjfdf its so cute and her paws and a bit of her feet r white its Baby :( ooh i havent watched gone girl either tbh, ive heard so much abt it though so ik i probably should!! we could try watching it together maybe? :D and i dont think ive seen muumin ikka but ill have to watch that too :) usually they just play like.... bad radio songs like i think ive heard that ed sheeran justin bieber song like a billion times there (1/2) -💌

i think it should be torture skdfkj. those r really nice colours too!!! i guess i could have probably guessed green from ur blog skfjd, i love olive green tho too!!! :) ahh the reveals so soon i feel like theres no real point to asking a question 😭😭 ily tho, have a great day and i'll talk to u soon!!!! 💕💖💕(2/2) -💌

🌿

hello!!!! ah orange💕💕 although i have a lot of love in my heart for black cats because people hate them for no reason, orange kitties are a close second!!! when i was in primary school i used to see a big orange stray a lot of the time and he was an absolute sweetheart :')

i've Literally just started it when you mentioned it yesterday but it would be nice to stream! i'm not sure if rabb.it is down yet but we could watch at the same time and chat if it is 💖? sjdjjfjf mumin ikka is just the japanese name for the 1990 moomin but i suppose i could find it in me to watch that too :)...?

i'm kidding i'm kidding i'd love to!!!! it's sweet of u to offer.

IT IS though ....... store music is always trash unless you're in like idunno urban outfitters or a completely different country. mr sheeran i appreciate your success but your music is the equivalent of an unbuttered slice of toast there is a final and a place but that's not..... Now....

i'm not going to lie it's a small and quite nitpicky thing but i. Appreciate that you spell colour with an u. as much as i love americans... Localisation. Yes please anyway sjcjdjjcjd i've kind of hit everyone over the head with it, haven't i? it's probably one of the Main Colours i choose for literally everything

i'm really excited for the reveal!!!! have a good day nonny 🐌!!!!

[puddingboots1]

titus talk

hey, dont think i said anything about this here, still havent said anything Official anywhere else (except maybe twitter, not sure tbh)

my dog titus passed away on may 16th, 2018.

i had a lot of things to say, i still do. i wrote this on the 21st, it was an explanation to a friend. at the end i will put part of something i said to a friend on the 17th. this is an INCREDIBLY long and honestly depressing post so, be prepared if you do decide to read it.

titus went in for surgery mmmmonday? or tuesday. to get the mass on his leg biopsied, to see what it was. it was like a lipoma i guess?? but there were tons of blood vessels n stuff too. i didnt quite understand. when they opened his leg to get the sample he started bleeding out, and they packed him full of gauze and such. he was stable, levels and vitals were all totally cool. they took him in for a second surgery to take out all of the gauze and to clamp off the artery that was bleeding. he was totally ok through that too. everything was going good until he was coming out of anesthesia. his heart just. stopped. they did cpr on him for 5-7 minutes but its a general “rule” i guess that anything after 3 is just. gone. they said there werent any irregular heart rhythms before it happened.

i drove home yesterday at 2:30 and my dad drove by me on the way and said “i need you at home” like, ok. i didnt think anything of it at the time. so gavin is home too cause hes out of school at normal middle school time, we all get in the truck since its raining super hard and the jeep in not good in the rain. dad gets up to the top of the hill where the stop sign is and he starts explaining what happened and he says “he didnt make it” and i lost it. the first thing i said was “FUCK.” how eloquent. we got to the vets and i have never seen my mom crying so hard. it was one of the scariest things, like i dont want to see it again, i know i will, but it made my stomach churn like i wanted to get ill upset me kinda what the fuck sad feeling yknow? they took us into the “comfort room” which was not at all comforting. they had someone briefly come in and talk to us, i dont remember a lot of it even though it was yesterday.

they wheeled him in on the table with a black, grey, and white southwestern woven rug/tapestry thing covering everything below his neck, his front two paws were out though.

i sat on the couch for what felt like an eternity before i got up and walked over to him and my family. his eyes were closed and i wanted to see his blue eyes again but i knew i couldnt. i held his paw for a second but i had to let go because i noticed how cold he was and i hated it, i can still feel it and i dont like it. i didnt realize it until earlier today while i was at work but i didnt see him breathing and now like its even worse to me, as if it werent bad enough.

we knew he was going into surgery and we were worried he was going to lose his leg, not his life.

i just miss him so fuckin much. all of his stuff is already gone from downstairs, the rug leading to the dog door is out in the garage since it didnt really have a purpose for us, it was for him

this is another conversation, during a simple and gentle in nature game.

things i love: i love titus, i love how happy he made my family, i love the way he looked in the snow, i love the way he sang when gavin played the drums, i love the way he ran kinda funny when you would step at him in the backyard, i love the way hed just sit there with me if i needed to sit there and do nothing for a little while, i love that he never walked on hardwood floors, i love that i had someone to say goodbye to every morning at 5:30am, i love that even though his breath smelled so bad he would look at me in the passenger seat of the truck when we were driving him to puppy playhouse, i love how sweet he was, i love titus. i love him so much and this hurts so fucking bad.

its around 1am on the beginning of the 64th day without him and it is still so hard to think about him, let alone talk about him. he was THE best dog, especially for my family. 

he was born in june of 2011. we got him from a backyard breeder who lived across the street (because fernley is shady as fuck). my mom had to make meals specifically for him because his stomach was so sensitive. she jokes around about it now saying “he was eating better than the rest of my family” and honestly he was. it was rice, chicken, various vegetables. we finally found out the costco brand dog food in the red bag was ok for him to eat, his stomach wasnt upset with it. we got to watch him grow and change in temperament through the years. he was very calm in almost everything he did, except singing with the drums and running around like a dork when youd step at him. 

although he was calm, he was so fuckin anxious. car rides were the worst for him, lots of shaking and panting. i always, and still do, feel bad about that. he wasnt any better at the vets, he would do that weird “talking” thing huskies do whenever there was another dog or a cat in the waiting area. i got super frustrated when he did that but i know i shouldnt have been so mad about it. he was an “only dog”. kinda like an only child but. dog form. we had two other dogs with him and he got super depressed, burnt out after a while. he didnt like the constant company. pepper was super sweet, i still dont know what kind of dog she was, probably some kind of short haired pointer mix. avery was another husky and she just happened to be from the same neighbor, they were half siblings.

every single time it has rained since may 16th, it has been titus crying in my head. there was a thunderstorm, god last week? it was raining so hard, lightning almost in our backyard, close enough i could smell it before we had to literally run inside. the entire time i thought about him, how upset he must be. i know it was not him but in my mind it was.

he was such a good dog and i miss him tremendously. (honestly, i have cried a lot while writing and copy-pasting the messages.)

currently my family is waiting for a litter of goldendoodles to be born, from a breeder we know through mutual friends. 

i have never been more reluctant about anything animal related. i was so angry when my mom started seriously looking, my dad and brother were on board almost immediately. grief is weird, i think. you have the 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. they are never in the same order for any person, and thats the hard part. its difficult to know what comes next in the stages. im definitely not to acceptance yet, i know it will come eventually but im not sure how long it will be. with borderline personality disorder its fucking hard to control my emotions and it feels like garbage, especially from may to right now. i havent felt this bad since my junior year of high school, and that year i almost died! im not contemplating or taking any action currently but i am scared it could come again because it has happened before. 

titus was the greatest dog i could have ever hoped for, he was gone way too soon. i love him with all my heart and i would give anything to have just one last day with him.

if youve made it this far, thank you for reading this, it means a lot.

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Tumblr said so. And in some pics i saw it kind of greenish, but it wasnt really clear. JAJAJAJA. Yes, you may be a bit biased, but it did suit him. Aha. I liked the whole look; the jacket, the jewellery (?) in it and the nail polish. Same, i love him wearing what he wants. He has great taste, i must say. Nop, i havent watched Maestro de la Costura (i dont watch TV) but i saw the pic you posted. Does that counts? I love your mom😂😍 She is so invested

JAJAJAJAJA. Yes, maybe starting with the first one would be a good idea. But, im not in the right to say anything bcs i too have started a saga without reading the first book quite times🤷 Yes yes. If you havent started it yet, wait until next year. Bcs waiting a whole year for it to be released is quite annoying. That way you can enjoy it all in one go. (2)

Yes. Im clingy, but only with a few people. Family and old friends. It takes a lot of time for me to feel comfortable touching people, but when i do, theres no way im stopping. Oh yes. I understand you, my sister is not a fan of touching, and she stands so still and rigid when somebody does that. But you see, you have the cats to give you love, i dont so, i need to resort to human contact😂🤷 [im really sorry to hear about your cousin :(, i hope you are fine ] (3)

JAJAJAJAJA. The things you tell about Honey always make me laugh. How is he even real? He is indeed a mommy cat. (Also, Liam the Cat, im watching you. Do not steal Honey’s food. He needs to grow up). (4. Im betting on you, inbox. Dont eat this one too)

Tattos of cats? Doesnt sound that bad. But i see your point. No, i dont have any. Same reasons. I dont like pain, and they are too permanent. I cant make my mind about what i would like to get tattoo and i dont want to regret it later. Maybe someday i’ll find something so meaningful i wont be scared of changing my mind later and not finding it important enough. (5)

——————————————————————————————————YAAAAYYYY!!!! I GOT ALL YOUR ASKS!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 (thanks Tumblr for the delivery 😒)Yeah, I got to see some pics were you could say it’s green, but it looks as if it was black reflecting the light and that’s why it seems green. Idk. It looked good on with whether blank or green, jajajaja. And, yeah,I liked the whole look with the pink jacket and the nails and all that, but it reminded me a “torero”,jajajajaja, and I can’t not watch the similarities, 😅.I don’t watch tv that much either, and I was totally a coincidence that we caught the final that day, bc my mom has only watched the reposts on Saturday or Sunday (she doesn’t even know the day they passed it…). But I went a little crazy over the coat,jajaja. And yes, my mom is very invested with the boys. And very patient with me!!! Because I tell her all the gossip in the fandom, and she doesn’t have any idea of what I’m talking about but I only tell her: you just trust me in what I’m saying… 😝 and she’s like: kook, whatever you say. She used to buy me every merch item she’d find when she went shopping, but I told her to please stop. stop giving money to Simon c*well 🤣🤣🤣🤣. And she was like ok ok whatever… jajajaja. (I recently found a packet of 1D clinex…🙄🙄 hiding in one of my drawers, so…). She even told me around mid February to please start playing Harry’s album in the car again, to remember the songs before the concert. And the other day told me the same about Niall’s album, lol. Lol, if there was an award for Most Supportive (and patient) Mom of a 1D fan, it would have to go to her!!!

Lol, I started watching Stranger Things at chapter 7 on Netflix by mistake, jajajajja and I only realized when the next chapter was about to start and I read “Chapter 8”, and I rolled my eyes at myself so much, that I got a headache… 🙄🙄. Is the next season of GoT the last one?? I can remember what my friend has told me. But I’m so bad at waiting for a new season, I prefer to watch the whole thing at once, and then forget it,jajaja. I’ve been disappointed so many times with tv shows, that I don’t trust them anymore, jajaja.

Oh, yes I have my cats so give my love, and to cuddle (and I would change for anything, lol (tell me I don’t sound like a crazy cat lady??)) The only humans I’m clingy with are the cousins I’ve seen “to be born” (the younger than me, not that I went to see my aunts giving birth 😱). Those are the only ones I feel comfortable enough to cuddle and kiss (till they’re old enough to send to eat shit anyway, jajjaja).

My stories about Honey make you laugh??? If you lived with him, it would be another song, jajaja (I love him). He’s so mischievous. If he isn’t sleeping, he’s being naughty, jajaja. There was one time when I thought he was dying (bc that’s my first thought always) or sick or something, bc he would left his food untouched every time I tried to feed him. And I was about to call the vet to get him checked. But then, one day my father found a box we have in the basement full with homemade chorizo open. And it has some bags empty of chorizo and the plastic was scratched. Do you see what the way this is going? YES! Honey had opened the box someway and he had been eating chorizo wrought our knowledge. That’s why he gave me his food to me. HE GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. And the thing is that those day he was eating that, when he came to sleep on me, I could smell something like chorizo in his paws, BUT HOW COULD I EVER IMAGINE THAT?!?! Jajajajaa. We had to change the box to another place more than once, because he kept finding it!!! He’s so smart 😻😻. My dad wanted to kill him, but… 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Now, we always joke about it all the time. I, from time to time, smell his paws 🐾 just in case he has found it again. Ayyyyy, this cat… I could be talking about them for hours. I have their paws framed in the living room. And I pic of them. If you come to my home, you can see pics of my sister wedding, my sister’s trip to Paris, some of my cousins, my granny and uncle who already passed, and beside all of that a pic of my cats, jajajajja.

Totally agree about tats. In my family there aren’t so many tats. Like I think only five (bc we are a lot) of my cousins had tattoos, and one of my uncles and that’s that. My mom just yesterday saw someone with a lot of tats and she was horrified, lmao. I’m like Louis: first I didn’t like tattoos; then I started likiing them on other people; and next I guess, will be getting the first,jejje.

Now that you talk about Louis…😜 I MISS HIM!!!! WHERE IS HIM?!!??! WHERE IS HIS ALBUM???? 😭😭😭😭😭 🤣🤣🤣🤣, as you can see I “estoy como una chota de la cabeza!!!!!”😱😅

Quoting my dear Harru: “hope you don’t run from me”. I have so much fun talking to you!!! 😝😝😝 Byeeeee!!