#i havent hung out with 2 of them in a year

[mainfaggot]

everyone is always distancing themselves from me and i cant help but feel like im just deeply pathetic

[yanderespamton78]

damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!

@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil

[kaislashes]

Back from the dead once again!

Orc x Reader

NSFW

You always find yourself interested in the boy next door, the one with green skin, tusks and quite large regardless of being the same age as you. Your parents try to drill into your head to stay away from the family of orcs, that they were monsters and brutes. Little to their knowledge you had already befriended him and were more than acquainted. His name was Rafali, he was an outgoing person contrast to your shy demeanor but that didn’t stop him from striking up a conversation. The first time you’d found yourself interacting with him was when you were 12 and, in your backyard, sitting on a lawn chair with a book in hand. Your ripped out of your story when a ball rudely comes flying over the fence separating your yard from the ones that had moved in weeks prior. You pick up the ball and head over to toss it back but your met with a rather deep but young voice, "Im so sorry, I might have overdone that kick." You peak through a gap in the fence and see a young boy, probably no older than yourself. You throw the ball over and introduce yourself, he does the same and you find out his name is Rafali and he should be attending the same school as you soon.

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Youre now 16 and spend all your free time sneaking around to see Rafali who has now become one of your closest friends. He invites you out one night to a move that your parents forbid you from seeing and you definitely arent turning down the offer. Your both giggling and hes helping you sneak out of your window to escape the household. "Shhhhhh, theyre gonna catch us dude." You smile at him as you both start running out of the yard. "Let them." He throws a smile your way as you make your way down the street and slow down once out of sight. "You know I can't, my family is.... judgmental and would kill me if they knew we hung out. I dont want to risk losing you." He slows down and comes to a full stop, turning to look at you. "You know I won't ever let that happen." And all too quickly he's leaning and a planting a small kiss to your lips. At first your stunned and reciprocate the action. The night goes well and you make it home without being caught.

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2 Years have passed since that night, you've both been dating officially since that summer night when you first kissed. You've never been happier. Tonight he invited you over since his parents were leaving town and you were able to come up with an excuse that your friend Ashley was having a girls night so your parents werent suspicious.

You leave the house as normal as possible but inside youre anxious, this would be the first time the both of you were alone and you knew this night would be the start of something serious. It's night like you havent had alone time, youve had plenty of makeout sessions but nothing more. You have to go all the way around the alley to sneak into his back yard so your parents dont see you going in. Hes waiting for you at the back door and lets you in quickly. It doesn't take long before clothes are being shed and heated kisses are exchanged. He has you on his bed, both completely bare and youve never been so shy around him before, youre trying to cover your chest but he grabs your hands. "You don't have to be nervous yknow? I love you so much and I promise Ill be gentle." You swallow and nod, letting him take the lead. He puts your hands above your head and leaves them there. He reaches to the side of the bed to grab a bottle of lube and spills some onto his hand and on your cunt as well. He slowly starts to massage against your clit and you cant help but arch from the feeling. He pushes your hips down. "You need to stay still baby, I dont want to hurt you." You nod as he slowly starts to push a finger in and moan. The feeling is weird at first, almost painful but hes slow and uses his other hand to rub your bundle of nerves. After you start to get used to the feeling he adds and second finger and starts to scissor them, his fingers are so thick that it makes you scared for the actual thing. Once he deems you ready he removes both fingers and lines up his cock, you cant help but stare im disbelief at the sheer size of it. "I dont think thats going to fit." You say nervously. He runs his other hand down your face and tries to reassure you. "We'll make it fit, yeah?" You nod, ready to believe and do anything he asks. You feel him slowly start to push in, the intrusion making you feel so full and some discomfort. He stops once hes fully hilted, you look up at him and his face is pinched, clearly trying to control himself. You reach up and touch his face gently and he opens his eyes, once his meets yours his face softens. "I love you so much." "I love you too." "Then move." I say and thats all he needed. He starts off slowly and the feeling goes from pain to pleasure the more he picks up speed, your moaning loudly and clawing at your lovers back as hes pistoning into your tight warmth while grunting. You feel him reach between you both and start rubbing your clit fast, the feeling of him slamming into you and rubbing sends you over the edge, you cry out his name as you tighten around him and that's all it takes for him to pull out and finish all over your mound. It takes everything in him not to collapse on top of you, he starts to walk away to get a rag but you pull him back. "We can clean later?" You both fall into bed , sweaty, gross but happy.

[my3rzs]

hii i love your work so muchh! i want to request a jealous xavier thorpe x fem reader where xavier gets all protective and jealous when someone flirts with reader and he’s really possessive and ahh

summary: xavier hasn’t been talking to you since wednesday addams arrived at nevermore, so you give him a taste of his own medicine

requests: open

notice: wednesday is not inlove with anyone, tyler is not the monster, and all the characters are 18+

pairing: xavier thorpe x reader

a/n: im so sorry i havent been posting, i was more focused on school and i had to get my final grades for 2nd quarter. but anyways reblogs would help, this is not proofread btw uhm

it’s been 2 weeks since wednesday addams has arrived at nevermore and xavier hasn’t been talking to you since the mysterious wednesday addams has arrived, it really started to bother you.

it was a saturday, you and xavier always did something on a saturday, watch movies in his dorm, go to the carnival, go to an arcade and stuff, so you decided to text him if he wants to hang out.

y/n: hey, do you wanna hang out today? we haven’t hung out in the past 2 saturdays.

xavs: sorry no, i have plans with wednesday already. maybe next time?

you felt like your heart shattered as you read his message, so you left him on read.

you decided to go to the weathervane to clear your head.

-

you walked in and saw tyler,

“tyler! hi!”

“hey y/n, what would you like?”

“oh, i’ll just have a matcha”

“okay! coming right up”

he brought you your matcha to your table as you both saw xavier and wednesday walk in.

your smile faded as you saw them both together.

“woah, something going on between you guys?” tyler asks as he noticed that your smile faded

“nope, just jealousy i guess” you sigh

tyler sat with you and you drank your matcha.

you could feel xavier’s eyes on you, knowing he was so jealous right now.

you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and continue this.

the rave’n was tomorrow, so you decided to ask tyler.

“hey, do you maybe wanna go to the rave’n with me?” you smiled.

“as friends” you mouthed

he got the signal to go along with it “yes, sure y/n! i would love to!” he says

you couldn’t see xavier but you knew he was fuming with jealousy right now.

“okay, i’ll be heading out now. see you tomorrow at the rave’n!” you say and walk out, you could see xavier furious at your peripheral vision.

you and your friends decided to go dress shopping because of the rave’n.

you went into a store and saw a retro, butterfly, white, short-sleeved dress. this was the perfect dress for you.

the night of the rave’n

you put on your dress and started doing your hair into a braided bun, and enid did your makeup.

you heard a knock on your door and opened it, revealing tyler in a white suit.

“hey, ready to make xavier jealous?” he gave you a smirk

“damn right i am” you say

-

you two walked in and everyone was staring at you two.

xavier was with wednesday but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and wednesday started to notice.

you and tyler went to get drinks, mostly vodka. you had 9 shots already and you were already drunk.

you and tyler went to the dance floor and started to dance to the music.

the music stopped and tyler went to get a drink from himself, you waited for him until you felt a hard grip pulling you outside.

“okay, y/n. can you tell me what’s going on? why’d you go with tyler?”

“and why’d you go with wednesday? stupid” you giggled and almost fell at his chest but he caught you

“are you drunk?” he furrowed his eyebrows

“no.. you are” you say

-

he took you to his dorm and laid you down on his bed

“okay, can you atleast tell me why you went with tyler?”

“i tried to make you jealous because you haven’t talked to me since wednesday has arrived”

“y/n, i was working on a case with her”

“well.. i didn’t know that”

“okay- i have liked you for about 2 years, or more, i want you to be mine only and i want to be yours only. i hate seeing you with other people and it drives me crazy” he rambled

“can i kiss you?” you ask

before he could answer you kissed him on the lips and he pulled you closer, the kiss felt so delicate, you have always wanted this and you finally got it.

you broke the kiss to catch breaths and smiled at him.

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im crying i finished this and it doesnt even fit the request and its like my other oneshot i think im gonna cry but i literally have no motivation to rewrite so enjoy 😭

[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

[spiderman-iamspiderman]

rdr2 oc giggles and flies away

i havent drawn in like.. .. . 3 or more months.. . i hope this is good.. .

lore below the cut

Mentions of racism n stuff like that, hes persian in 1887 - 1899 america

He first arrived at America with his mother, Alizeh Abbas, when he was 12. They were homeless for awhile, before his mother was taken away for stealing food so she could feed herself and him because no one was allowing a non-white woman to work for them.

They had to flee Persia due to the goverment talking about a war that was supposed to take place in all towns around them. His father, Iraj Abbas, was drafted and forced into training for the war. He died when he had stepped on a pre-maturely placed landmine in a field where the war was supposed to take place. Taken out by his own men.

The war had never happened, fortunately. But Unfortunately, Caspian's mother had been beaten to death after being brought to a prison for stealing, so he couldn't return to Persia on his own. Caspian doesn't know this.

Caspian lived on the street for another 2 years. During this time, he was attacked by a dog which caused the two scars on his jawline. And a racoon which had clawed his hand open, luckily, he didn't contract rabies. And grew a harsh bruising around his neck, when he was meant to be hanged for stealing -- though it soon healed and faded. The hanging was cut into by a white woman who said she'd "teach the boy some manners" by making him work on her ranch. Somehow, this worked.

Then, he was taken by the woman so he could work on her ranch. He worked there for year, being paid unequally and being repromanded and discriminated by the middle-aged, white ranch hands. He left when these became physical and he had gained that gash under his eye after someone booted him in the face with a steel-toed boot.

He took a dark-brown Turkoman whom he named Shirin, then left with the supplies and belongings he had taken in the night. No one really noticed, nor really cared. Infact, he began a running joke in the ranch.

He lived in the wild for a while, camping on a cliff that hung over a small forest which was close to the road that passed by, a field which herds of bison would pass by on -- or sometimes cut through the small forest below him as a shortcut, Caspian always enjoyed watching them pass by -- and a small lake down the hill behind him where he'd fish or hunt for drinking/swimming animals.

One day, that forest below him caught fire. It was going to spread up to the sides of the hill, close to his campsite, so he was in a rush to begin packing all of his stuff onto Shirin and taking off. Then he heard a small, pained bellow below him. He peeked over and saw a baby bison yelling next to it's deceased mother who had came to her burn wounds and left behind by the herd.

Caspian saw some of himself in that baby bison, so he went down with Shirin to run into the flames to escape with the babe. He had left Shirin abit away from the fire, incase she got hurt going in with him. He grabbed a rope and some food before covering his face with his scarf and running into the flames. He came out with a scared, panicked bison whom he quickly calmed down and left with.

He guided the bison to another field where other bison herds would pass by, he decided he was going to wait until another herd passed by to graze to see if they would accept this new babe. He named the baby Bijan, just so he wouldn't have to keep calling it 'baby' or 'bison'. He set up camp on the very edge of the field, letting Shirin and the baby Bijan roam throughout the field to graze and explore.

Soon, a herd came through to graze then continue. Bijan ran right up to them as they all began to sniff and explore the new babe. Everything was going well, until Bijan spun around and ran all the way back to Caspian. Who had unintentionally became Bijan's new mother.

Caspian was done as he had to wait for the herd to continue travelling across to see if Bijan would follow. And he didn't. So now Caspian was stuck with a baby bison, which he had no idea on how to take care of. This also gave him weird looks the next time he went into a nearby town for food and horse supplies -- maybe this would work on Bijan -- and had a small, growing bison run in behind him and sniff around everyone who was still enoughnto let it happen.

Due to Bijan not letting up on his 'mother', even if he had now grown up alot, a Pinkerton had noticed Caspian and saw a weapon within the bison. So he took Caspian aside to an abandoned warehouse turned agency lounge and offered a job.

The man in charge offered Caspian money if he were to train Bijan to become a weapon. And Caspian just couldn't do it. But he also didn't want to risk his and Bijan's life if he said no, and also leave Shirin with these dickheads. So he changed the deal, he would work for the Pinkertons if someone else would train Bijan. And they agreed on a short, firm handshake.

So now Caspian spent four years as a Pinkerton, chasing outlaws down or being bait to lure rather cruel outlaws to come and attempt to kidnap him. Four years of dealing with racist remarks as Bijan was turned into a weapon in a nearby barn.

During this time, when there were no outlaws to chase or be kidnapped by, he bought himself a tar. A Persian tar. He knew it was made in Persia, by a Persian, delievered by Persia. He had no conformation, but he knew it.

He wanted to teach himself how to sing and play, he remembers his dad trying to teach him but he just couldn't. It was too difficult for him. So as a side job, he'd perform and sing for some money. More money than any ranch or any Pinkerton could ever pay him. Apparently, bypassers liked a difference in music from time to time.

He then decided that this performing job was way better than constantly putting his life in danger for some poor, weasly money. So he quit. And of course it wasn't taken well, he was immediately ran out by being shot at by a multitude of different Pinkertons.

He had left Bijan behind, taken Shirin in the rush away from the warehouse. So he stuck close to break Bijan out of the stables he was being trained in. That bison didn't deserve to become a weapon, he wasn't young anymore, but he still had along life to grow. He was around 6, and still had around 15 years of life left. He just couldn't spend that time becoming a weapon for the knobheads known as the Pinkertons.

So, one night, the perfect night, he went back. Snuck past the guards and silently killing the stable hand. He never knew he had it in him. But once Bijan noticed him, and began to bellow and grunt for his father, he knew he had to get out of there with the bison as fast as possible. He could hear the nearby guards walking over in confusion on why the bison was being so god damn loud. He could hear as they began to slide open the barn door, which Caspian had closed to buy him some time to get the bison out to where he had left Shirin, near a closeby river to the right of the town.

He hopped on Bijan, which he had never done before, and ran off ontop of him. He bust through the now open stable door, immediately being shot at. One of the bullets had shot him in the shoulder, but in retaliation he pulled off his caliber rifle from his shoulder, turned around and shot two of the Pinkertons dead. This, would cost Caspian a wanted poster for murder and mount thievery on a poster board outside the town's sheriff office.

He rode and rode to where Shirin was, then to a different closeby town where he was allowed into a doctor's office. The doctor was black and during the time he was digging the bullet out of Caspian's shoulder, told the story of his own discrimination for simply being a black doctor. Once Caspian had been dealt with, he paid the doctor more than he should've. He knew the doctor needed it just like Caspian had needed all those days ago.

He left knowing others were living in the same life as he was, just with different shoes.

Caspian knew he was no longer safe in the east, so he ran west. Soon finding himself in New Hanover. He thrived abit in Valentine, the people there -- like the town people in the east -- enjoyed a difference in music from time to time, so he was paid handsomely for having a good few Persian songs up his sleeve, which he knows by heart in the sound of his older sister's and mother's voices, and a pet- son bison.

He then moved down the Lemoyne, setting up camp on the small islands under Saint Denis and right near to Caliga Hall. He went round Saint Denis and Rhodes, earning money by singing songs with a bison by his side -- and a mostly ignored by the people Turkoman, poor Shirin she thankfully gains lots of love by her father, Caspian.

He learnt of other outlaw gangs, like the Van Der Linde gang and the O'Driscolls. He's acouple sights of them, whether it be witnessing Arthur Morgan being robbed by abunch of Saint Denis kids or O'Driscolls guarding roads and bridges up near Valentine. But that's about it. Never anything more.

He's happy with this life, even if he had unintentionally became an outlaw.

He gained a small burn scar on his jawline when he had gotten kidnapped and had a torch held up to his face by scalp hunters. And he had gotten his throat slit by those same hunters, not enough to kill him but enough to temporarily damage his vocal chords ( think Allison from umbrella academy )

He escaped the scalp hunters barely conscious, killing one or two of them before running to the Saint Denis before his crimes where given to the lawmen. He was helped and sent back.

He deemed the small island he was staying dangerous but still hidden enough, but he went with his gut. It told him he wasn't only putting himself in danger, but also Bijan and Shirin. So he ran away and took camp on the shore, way under Braithwaite Manor.

This has been his home for awhile, he normally travels all the way past the manor to Rhodes. He thinks Saint Denis is too dangerous for him to return to for now. His bounty has been increased and he's had alot more run ins with the Van Der Lindes and O'Driscolls now, some being more interactive than others.

i love him and bijan and shirin and their little different species, found family dynamic

giggles and flies back

[gaz-light]

CW: Me but ugly

Ya know what fuck it. I don't intend to this mid week. I wanna do it now while I've got the time and honestly I'm a bit excited.

This is John. He's the guy I used to be. I don't have many other pictures of him but I saved these ones for this purpose. They're some of the few I could stand for some reason.

It's hard to think I ever used to look like that. Think or act the way I did. You could go back right now and tell him the events of the past like year or so and honestly he'd probably understand it. Would be too scared as shit nervous and doubtful to ever believe it. Hated himself too much to imagine it being this way.

This is how I started off on Hormones 1 year ago. 5/31/22. Somewhere between 11/7/21 and 4/9/22 everything went to shit. I crashed my motorcycle and broke my arm, ended up broke, didnt get into grad school, the girl I was madly in love with just let me know I was being replaced by someone with a pussy. It took about everything happy in my life turning to shit over night to finally crack the egg that I had been growing in for so long.

There were signs before. Things I always knew. Always hung out with girls. Liked sapphic content. Felt detachment from peers of my agab, enjoyed pretending at being an internet femboy. Horribly autistic. Fucking hated my body. Hated hated hated hated hated. I had a closeted sissy kink and dressed up FOR YEARS. So much more. Eventually I started hooking up with trannies the same way I hooked up with lesbians and things began to click. Something in me thought ya know what, I don't have to just admire and adore and yearn for them. Then a good friend of mine consoling me one April night more or less extended an invitation and I didn't look back.

And then she was born. I think these photos are from maybe a month post starting HRT. Would you believe I hadn't seen myself without facial hair in like 10 years before this point. I hadn't shaved it all off since I was 13. I'm hispanic. Greek and Cuban so I've had this accursed facial and body hair for fucking ever. I was so afraid the first time I picked up that razor. I didnt know if I'd like what was on the other side. I felt safe and secure in the validation I got from other people that I thought it'd be ok if I was just unhappy with myself forever. I hated whatever I was so much that I didnt have the energy to care for her.

Then I shaved.

I looked in the mirror and I thought that girl looked kinda cute. For the first time I really didnt think I looked so bad. My friends were very supportive thankfully. Not everyone was. Certainly not dear old dad who still wont call me by my name or gender me properly. The man who told me god had cursed him with 2 faggots. My little trans brother and I. The man who let me know I was a disappointment and that neither I or anyone of us were real women. I still havent forgiven him for so much. But I am trying to let it go. Even the cis people were kinda nice. I lost some who were kinda edgy friends from highschool. Nothing of value was lost.

Since then I've worked to navigate the professional world as a woman. My first boss at my first real post college job was this British woman from England who made my life kinda hell. Preyed upon and picked on me and embarrassed me professionally. One of the 2 other women at the office. She never would admit to it but I think she resented me for it. I was also the only tranny there. Well sorta. There was 1 other who worked down in facilities doing the trash and dishes for the labs. But not up there. Not on the 8th floor with us in the "war room".

And this is where and who we are now 1 year later. Same eyes. Same 5'0 looking ass. But happier. Smiles when she looks in the mirror. Can actually do things for herself. Set boundaries. Care. Maybe she can even love too. I've placed myself into countless lesbian romance fantasies and I feel like I have a shot at living them. I used to be like 200 pounds. I'm down to 128 and also built like a brick house full of muscle. I was horrified of being trapped in that body of mine forever and the fear and doubt that I'd never make it even this far scared me into doing nothing until i had little else to lose.

Let me leave you with some wise advice that friend who cracked my egg once gave to me: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.

Transitioning was the best decision I ever made for myself. Happy birthday Morrigan. I love you.

[cator99]

highlight of the night was hanging out with a bunch of goofy black dudes who were sitting a few blocks away from the gay bars with some lawn chairs and a cooler out the back of a car. they were all just like late 20s to mid-30s straight guys with the exception of a scrawny lil 18 year old who was one of the guys nephews. they brought him out there to experience pride even tho he couldnt actually go in the bars. The kid was all shy, but proudly told me he just graduated with a 3.8 gpa and got a scholarship, uncle was all proud too, n after wandering thru crowds of annoying suburbanites n alt weirdos with social anxiety who look at you like youre trying to hurt them when you talk to them uh it was cool to just chill with some normal people. oh also at one point i hung out with this amish twink who had snuck out of the amish vilage (???) to do drag. he was also cool and normal in that weird funny way. Also yea a bunch of gay dudes asked to give me head but what else is new like it was late and at that point if they havent found a man they just start wandering around mumbling “spare cock sir? spare cock??”. i got tossed around between a bunch of really drunk older lesbians like some sort of weird horny slow-mo mosh pit to that new kylie minogue song. it was ok. im not really into any of that sort of thing anymore as evidenced by my being more drawn to sitting on a lawn chair with some strangers passing around a bottle. i’m just tryin 2 hang out for pete sake. throwin me around... not even telling me your gpa . sheesh

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

i had a great day yesterday <3 it was my graduation party and so i saw a bunch of relatives and caught up with some people i havent seen in years. an acquaintence i hung out with one single time in highschool 2 years ago came, which was unexpected but appreciated, and i had a GREAT time talking with them. they came over to my house afterwards to drink with my sister's friends and i. i am severely touch starved and sleeping in my twin sized bed w/ them was nice. they want to commission me to make them a fursuit because they dont know any other furries and im sooooo excited to do that - ive been wanting to make another fursuit myself, but havent had the money to get more supplies. i got 1200$ in graduation gifts so now my spending money for my summer trip is COVERED lol. it was really fun and i ate a lot of fruit and im very happy. i got a record player + speakers as my graduation gift from my dad and i got to use them to play music at my party.

the only thing im :( about is apparently some of my friends from my old school tried to come to my party (i went to the same school for 10 years b4 moving so these were old close friends of mine) but couldnt find it? i dont know how because theres only one gazebo in the park but im sad i didnt see them. we're organizing to meet up another time though so its okay

[lvxybby]

it kills me to love you (Kai Anderson x Reader) Angst (it will get better <3)

Ive been part of kais cult for about 4 weeks now. we have known each other before his cult was formed. its been 5 months since he gathered people to join, but he never told me about it until he proposed the idea for me to join. me and kai have always been big on getting things our way and if that didnt happen, there would be consequences for the person. but never killing them. or at least that idea was never in my mind. i dont know about him. i dont know much about him anymore. hes gone mad. absolutely crazy. and theres this woman. Meadow. Meadow Wilton. That stuck up bitch. And she is all over kai. i mean all over him. it goes from doing his hair. to sitting on his lap. to all out make out sessions between them. and me? im jealous as FUCK cause of it. that fucking bitch. ive loved and cared for kai for 2 years! i have given him every last bit of my attention. but he turns a blind eye every SINGLE time. but meadow. oh no...she slits some guys throat and "oh dear god meadow! your the best! you've done so much for me!" In kais eyes. fuck him. im DONE with his bullshit. "Kai!" i heard winter shout from downstairs. "Kai! meadow is here!" she shouted again. i heard very quick, heavy steps walk in front of my door than trail down the stairs. i sighed before grasping my journal to doodle in. my pencil lead dwindled as i drew on the plain white paper. i pressed harder as i drew faster. and faster. the grey color faded into a shiny black as i drew more lines. i stopped to enjoy my drawing. ive been good at drawing since i was about 13 and took art classes in middle school. the drawing was just a really detailed drawing of some spirals, something in really like to draw. but now...i wasnt feeling it. i closed the book shut and threw it across the room. i focused on the sounds around me. i focused more and more. on the sounds. "kai! oh kai yes!" i heard very muffled through the walls. why couldnt i cry out his name like that. did he not want me around? did i not do enough for him? ive been TRYING for years to please him! i cant stand to be in the same house with meadow and now im barely able to be with him. i couldnt bear to hear meadows moans for longer. i stuff my phone into my pocket and grab my tiny bag that has my wallet and other essentials in it. i walk downstairs and see winter on the couch. "where you heading?" she asked. "i dont know... anywhere but here...i cant stand your brother anymore..." i said before walking out the door. i walked for a bit before coming across a nice park. im slightly familiar with it cause they have some bird feeders, and me and kai along with everyone else poisoned them all around the city. i sat on one of the benches. after about 30 minutes my phone began to buzz. i looked at it and saw kai was calling. i also saw he left 12 messages, that i had unopened. i looked at the screen before answering. i took a deep breath in. "hello" i said. "where the fuck are you?! why havent you opened my messages?!" he shouted through the phone. "kai dont yell at me...talk to me" i said a bit angered. "no fuck that! answer my da-" he was cut off as i hung up with him. oh fuck im in trouble.

[thatweirdguyinenglish]

AOT oc that has been stuck in my head

Just so people know none of the anatomy isnt mine it all belongs to @Mellon_soup on patreon.

This is a random oc i havent stopped thinking about since i started season 4 of aot- dunno what their story is but i thought of some random bullshit about them so it'll be listed bellow the drawings.

(For now his name shall be Alaois) *JUST A LITTLE INFO* Alaois is gay (very well known hes basicly the king twink in the cadets), Pretty chill going while still being pretty prideful and will reck the shit out of you if you come for his friends.

(He also has ADHD and Autisim)

He was born into a wealthy family (With 2 older siblings) in the Ehrminch District in Wall Sheena, but due to the family having little care about him (Due to his siblings making money) became quite the rebellious and adventurous child. This eventually lead to a fight with his family and he (In rage, ofc) joined the cadets, planning to prove his family wrong. His family also was belivers in the walls and died in the fight between Annie and Eren, Alaois had very mixed feelings about this. He wouldn't look at Eren for a few days after that.

The people hes closest to is Ymir, Jean and Eren.

Hes the youngest out of the Levi squad (Hes a year younger).

He offen will tease Jean about Mikasa, and Ymir about Historia.

Ymir and him are gossip gays (And the Historia protection duo)

When Ymir died(/ dissapeared) Alaois would go to her grave (Or where ever they hung out most) and would just talk to her.

Alaois and Eren during boring meetins have staring contests, they almost always get out of hand and Hange makes bets with Levi about who will win.

When he first met Levi he was ecstatic and really interested about him, Levi was surprised to be on eye level with someone.

Jean and him where paired together for look out most days, so they made ODM race arenas around the areas.

He enjoys listening to Armin ramble while he does things.

When Alaois first joined the cadets, he came out almost instantly, and people made fun of him.... until he beat them all in test scores.

Speaking of test scores, he was just in the leading scores, and is one of the most trustworthy scouts.

He has a death stare, and has no idea.

He hates dual weilding his blades, so he offen kills with one hand.

Hes the Levi squads on field nurse, and during Erens hardening experiments he took care of Eren constantly.

Prob would kill someone if it was asked of him, and he has.

AND NOW, season 4 Alaois.

Onyankapon is his favourite person from other nations.

He grew out his hair for an experiment of hanges, but ended up not letting her do it because he liked it too much.

Alaois had always thought Armin was a perfect fit for commander, and constantly dropped hints to Hange and Levi.

Levi taught him how to knife fight (After about a year of Alaois begging him to)

He considers Hange and Levi his parents. They know.

When he saw Eren again he was compleatly shocked, he debated going to see him but ended up not because he was too scared he'd be what people said.

(This is compleatly headcannoned btw) After the rumbling, he joined Jeans squad as his leading solider.

He and Renier became closer after everything.

Ok thats it bye

[inlovewithanathemadevice]

Lana and Wren time bc I need an excuse to talk about them

Wren:

1) tea- something hot and herbal

2) I havent thought about it that much but probably pretty short and practical- making sure that they're clean and their hair wont get in their face

3) a decently large collection of comfy, brightly colored skirts and dresses

4) I havent really thought about it, honestly. they probably have some scars from playing as a kid but no serious battle scars. their society isnt big on tattoos either

5) in frustration when they couldnt figure out what was making lana sick. they dont like unpredictability or seeing lana in pain

6) only child

7) red leather boots! warm, water resistant, comfy, and brightly colored

8) a big pile of furs and blankets under a tall window, with shoes, clothes, and other belongings folded carefully under the side table. a curtain that divides it from the rest of the room while they're asleep but is open when awake. not super decorated since they only spend part of the year there

9) midwinterfest- big fires, good food, and a chance to help their family decorate all their best clothes to wear

10) a medicine pouch on their belt. they are a doctor who always likes to be prepared

Lana:

1) juice- something sweet and refreshing

2) they love to spend an hour bathing in the river. they say its bc of how long their hair is, though they do little to style it

3) their instrument! a medium sized stringed instrument called a harpsigourd. a wheelchair, too, but that's not really a choice

4) some small scars from childhood running through woods or trying to fly too young

5) when they found out they were dying

6) probably an only child but I havent spent a lot of time on their family yet

7) straw sandals- they dont wear them super often so they want something lightweight that they can slip on and off easily

8) same as Wren. their clothes are usually piled at the foot of the bed, and their harpsigourd hung on a peg on the wall

9) leaving day- it's full of dancing, music, and preparation for flight

10) the harpsigourd, strung across their back or cradled in their arms

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.)  Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

[silly-jellyfish]

Life Update for the Void That is my Blog

I have cut all contact with 'E' it came out that her partner assaulted 2 of their ex's and 'E' had stayed with them after finding out. prom sucked because of her because all that info came out right before hand.

summer was so boring i work all summer and hung out a few times with 'A' we are still besties but she has going to uni in the city, i seen her Thanksgivings weekend but only once so that suck

me and blondy have finally hung out i literally have the biggest crush on him i cant stop thinking about him but im scared that now he actually has hung out with me he doesn't like me anymore but he did say he wanted to hang out more so we still have hope.

havent spoke to 'J' since graduation so idk what hes been up to he went to uni in another province.

still have no idea what im going to do for college/uni next year but i really need to do something

[mostlymalena]

October 14th 2024 10:04am

I'm at Coffee Time for old times sake, and the sake of time. On Monday's I take bunny Jo to school and pick her up so sitting here is more efficient than Ibis.

I have had the best week in a while. Yesterday was out of a movie.

I woke up and got Waffle House with Ethan and then we got home and bottle flipped and did cartwheels with O outside for like two hours lmao. After I laid out a blanket and me and Ethan watched an episode of SVU. Hayday came back into town until Tampa is done being rained on, so he came over and Dylan joined and we all played bad mitten in the back yard for a while. It was so fun. We all just hung out outside and on my porch for like 6 hours haha. We had dinner and then everyone left and Brooklyn Bridge came over and we watched SVU till 2:30 am hehe. It was perfect.

The past week has been so fun as well. Thursday me and apple boy hung out and ran errands and such together. We lounged in the park and watched someone do a halloween shoot with purple smoke and everything haha. I went to beach bars that night dressed in a trench coat, head scarf, and big sunglasses. It was so fun!! I don't drink at the bars so I was being a lunatic for the plot I guess. Friday I spent most my day at concord with Jo and apple boy met me there. He taught me a new games called Go which was basically connect 4 but on a grid and you connect 5. I beat him in that and then we played a round of chess that I also beat him in. He is good at chess and I think he could be better than me if he played with someone else besides me haha. He snuck a film picture of me, well knowing him he did not care if I noticed or not. I did notice. I wonder if he will ever show it to me. I know he has taken pictures of me before and most of them I will never see.

Saturday night we went to a Brat dj set my friend put on a Palate. Jo and I have grown to enjoy Palate during the day. Anyways I wore something I NEVER wear. I'll add pics:

It was slutty ngl but it was the vibe of the night and hell I never wear a bra so YOLO. Anyways me and the gang go to the show and Grace is there. I, of course, instantly get sick LMAO. But we did not talk but we did look at each other. I also did blonde brows for that look and they are growing on me NGL. A lot of people told me a while back not to dye them bc I wanted to so bad and my boyfriend at the time told me I would look ugly so I didnt but COME ON. I think it looks sick.

I was a little upset seeing Grace of course, especially since she got into a relationship so quickly after she tried to patch things up with me. Bay is the best at talking me out of my head when it comes to that. She tells me I am much calmer and happier and I have to agree. My life is calmer and happier. It also sucks bc for 9 months it was chaos and I thought something was wrong with me because of that.

Im so excited for my halloween party!!!! It's going to be so so so fun. I have to remember to write everyday bc if I don't I'll forget the fun little details that make my life worth it all.

25 has been the best year of my life honestly. I'm so excited for 26 and beyond. I'm so glad I was unsuccessful at my suicide attempts when I was younger.

I want to live a long time.

Thats all for now, gotta review applicants for a content creator I'm hiring. Idk if me and apple boy are hanging today school is busy for him. I havent told him when I'm leaving, gonna Irish goodbye it.

[beaniepanini]

040124 00:34

hi. i havent written in a while. im sorry. to be honest, i dont know how to start. i've been all over the place since the last time i wrote. i dont really understand much anymore, and im kind of having a crisis? kinda. last i wrote was september, so i didnt get to write about what i'd like to call "The October Fiasco" because yeah, it's the type of thing that happens that require me to give it a title.

The October Fiasco happened on October 26, 2023. A month and a half since the break-up. At that point, the last time I talked to my ex was on my birthday, cuz theyre an asshole like that. i had a seminar five cities over the next day and had to leave at 3am. that day was already off to a bad start which involved an argument with my dad, and me having a breakdown at the GSO. 7pm i had dinner with my adviser at orgmates and decided to check my life360 cuz i was still hung up on my ex. they were at the hospital. why were they at the hospital? are they okay?

My adviser told me it wasnt my problem anymore, I said yeah, its not. But i still cared about them. Fate was being a bitch and i ended up at the hospital anyways. Long story short, they didnt say anything about the fact that i was there. i dont fucking know. i may never find out what the fuck was in their mind that night, but whatever. its over. there's no point in me being mad anymore. i feel like im about to have a breakdown right now. i said what i said when they reached out in february. i dont want to talk to them anymore.

thats a lie. i feel like those 2 years were nothing to them and i was just never ever worth the effort. i feel horrible. right before i blocked them on facebook, their last post hinted that they liked someone new. would they treat that person the same? would they treat that person better? would they put in more effort? why couldn't they do that for me? was i just not worth it? i hate them. i fucking hate them for making me feel like this. no matter how much i give my heart out to them when we were together, it was nothing to them. they tried. i know that they fucking tried, pero putangina. when they reached out, they were cutting me off, what makes them think they have that kind of power over the situation? no. FUCK YOU. i'm not letting you get out of this unscathed. i want you to feel how much hurt you made me feel. i hope you fucking live with this guilt. i dont want you to find love, i want you to have nightmares about me.

im angry now. for fucks sake. anyways. i've moved on. i still have anger in my heart, but im sure i dont love them anymore. i cant fucking look back and think of happiness, im so angry that i wasted 2 years of my life with them. but we keep moving forward, i met someone. i've been having a hard time feeling that they genuinely do like me back because theyre a hypersexual person, but i know that this is also cuz i keep comparing them to my ex.

also, i should stop hiding their identity. hes a guy. ig that contributes as to why the whole hypersexual thing throws me off, considering i was assaulted. but he reassured me once, i said i know. im not used to the love and attention, so i know is not a him problem. its a me problem. he's been,, amazing. hes blown all my expectations out of the water. all the shit i had to beg for, he did it all naturally. he matches my energy. we're both weirdos. he makes me feel safe and cared for. i admit that im also hypersexual, but i never really talked about it. so with him, i feel comfortable. i opened up about it. we're doing okay. im not used to someone wanting me this much. im trying not to self-sabotage so i've been doing a lot of self-reflecting lately.

i still get emotional flashbacks to when i was with my ex. that if he's offline i assume the worst, because thats what happened with my ex. or just a few hours with not talking to him i go crazy and assume he wants nothing to do with me anymore. im working on it, but for fucks sake i didnt realize how deep the damage was until i met a guy willing to talk about it with me. my friend was really angry about this too when i opened up about it. it was an odd morning and he said he doesnt feel okay so he'll be offline for a bit. he said it was something personal, but i shut down. i assumed it was bcuz he was tired of me. i assumed he realized i was too much. that wasn't the case obviously, but i felt it. i have to keep reminding myself that he's not my ex.

i rambled. sorry. but yeah. im doing okay. kinda. we have a new puppy, her name is Taki.

[imnotreal-png]

:T -- Entri 3

Liking people is becoming a hassle tbh. I'm definitely part of the issue but not in the way you think.

Im not hung up on anyone or anything, i'm just broke. My style is nonexistent, my confidence has depleted,,,,nothings stable rn.

I canceled a date i had tomorrow. Super sweet guy, super attractive but idk if he's not for me or what because i was dreading it. So i texted him and told him the honest truth. Literally what i just told you basically.

im tired of not having an income. i only have so much stashed away specifically for clothes and i never have the chance to go shopping. I should probably go this wednesday

I keep eating fruits with nutella every chance i get. tbh i been eating a lot lately (aloooot of boiled eggs) and im happy abt it. hopefully this goes on for a while til i gain at least something.

my sex drive been high tho. pleasing myself as always. wish sex wasnt viewed the way it is.....sigh

muzik stuff been goin very smoothly. i have little panic moments where im like "omygosh i cant make anymore music, i've milked all the talent ive got, its so over" and then 3 weeks later on a random tuesday; i'll get locked into fl studio for 7-10 hours and come out w a whole new beat and song lol. i shud hate on myself less probably.

I have a few songs that still havent even been scheduled for release lol, maybe i shud relax a bit. im still waiting for good weather 2 record this mv with my friend 4 our song ahhhghghghgh hopefully it works out

i wonder if im going to stay in the city. like where will i be living in 10 years? i hope i'll be okay. i have no idea what im doing rn. i love what im studying and working for but ik deep down its mostly just so i can have a degree and stable outcome bc otherwise i'd continue being an entrepreneur somehow...maybe? idk im just talking shit rn. scared i guess.

trying to reject the idea that im "falling behind" on life bc it makes me feel super shitty even tho its technically true but no point in making myself feel overly miserable abt it.

i wish i was pretty like them

nite nite