#i havent been on this app yet bc im pissed

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[amirahiddleston]

okay i lied, lets do a quick rundown of this yr bc its been shit <3

beginning of jan: i bring up to the parents that i think i have adhd, it does not go over well, but my stubborness is not yet deterred (YET)

mid jan: i made a slideshow explaining why i might have adhd and why i think i have it with the plan to show it to my father, he walks in as i am finishing it and asks why im suddening thinking i have adhd

i say its not all of a sudden (ive suspected for years since one of my brothers has it) and that ive thought for a while but never said a word since he never listens to me

things are said then he's yelling at me to stop looking into things and trying to be different (same thing he said when i came out so -3 points for unoriginality)

this reaction to me being vulnerable and open triggers this depression ive been in since then. its horrible.

around a week or two ago: my ela teacher tells my mom i havent been going to class (i cant wake up before 10 am idk why) and my mom and dad both yell at me (classic <3) but they dont do anything abt my sleep schedule

a week ago: i begin telling my dad ive been depressed and that hes the reason for it, hes really understanding. we talk about it, i ask if he can convince my mother to take me to the doctors so i can talk abt my physical pain and my mental health; he doesnt answer (which means no basically)

now my parents are waking me up regularly and pissing me off in the process bc my brain doesnt shut down until 1 am at the earliest

yesterday, feb 24: the day was going well, even if i missed my classes. i did some work so yea. i went with my dad for the second half of day to join him while he worked and it was fun, we stopped and got snacks at a gas station, talked some more abt my mental health and how he probably has anxiety like i do lol

then for some reason, when we got home he kinda switched up? he found me in my room watching psychology tiktoks on youtube bc im not allowed to have the app lmaoo and yelled at me. i switched to watch something different.

later that night, ig he called my name and i didnt hear him. my brother opened my door so i went to see my dad. hes sitting on the couch and asks if i lit the furnace in the garage for the dogs since its cold. i didnt hear him ask me that, he says i was looking right at him

and i go "i literally have no recollection of you asking me to do so"

and he says "quit acting fucking stupid and watching those videos, youre filling your head with shit" which fair i guess, youre unoriginal though so -5 points. then he threatens to cut of the internet to my computer, rendering it useless.

i light the furnace, (cry a little with the dogs) do my chores and shower then sleep. (i didnt make coffee tho bc i was feeling petty)

today aka feb 25, ~ 8:30 am: im working on school and my dad keeps coming in over my shoulder, he wont shut the door

and then when im in second period, he asks to see my mouse and clicks on one of the tabs thats for the cdc symptoms of adhd, he then blows the fuck up. i start crying he says hell fucking slap me if i backtalk and im like "im not but go off ig" and he yells at me for crying. if i recall correctly he said "you better knock it off"

i tell him being mean wont make me happy but he does not care, nor listen.

says that hes going to take my door off the hinges, turn off my internet and all that jazz. this throws me into panic mode and so i delete snapchat, tumblr, wattpad, and tiktok off my phone so if he takes it, theres nothing incriminating. (aka talking abt my toxic home life)

and for the next like two hours he keeps coming in and out of my room, questioning me on what im doing

then he leaves until maybe 11 ish bc im still in class. hes less angry, hes trying to make conversation but im over it. he leaves again for work. by the time he returns im in bed bc im done with school and he has the audacity to ask me why im "so happy" BITCH-

i say nothing really, that im tired, the usual. he leaves once more after asking me what im doing on my phone, i was coloring. theres more but im outta room whatever bye <3

hmmmm i really wanna overshare but ima keep it to myself

[sellbel]

i have not been this upset in a long ass time

I am typing this on my actual computer as opposed to my phone so the angry words can come out as fast as humanly possible.

so joshs grandma got me a flight to go surprise my sister for her 30th bday in april and everything was set and good i had the flight on my delta app then someone called her and told her that the credit card info was old or wrong so they had to give the reservation to someone else.. okay no biggie yet.. she could call again and have them redo it... so she did but she did it for the wrong times and basically got me a flight that wasn’t as perfect as the original one. whatever, I could have just dealt. but she cancelled it and tried to change it or something and spent TWO HOURS on the phone with her and they were trying to tell her it’d be $300 to change the flight she’d made or $200 to cancel it. like what the actual fuck? so she cancelled i guess and josh didnt even tell me about all of it until i called him tonight to get an update. so she got charged for $200 for no reason and I feel so fucking awful about it. Im embarrassed and feeling guilty and shitty and im never going over to his house again. i guess they gave her like a $115 united airlines credit but LOL all united flights are like $400 so even if she gave me the credit i couldnt make up the difference. I can’t even pay her back to $200 right now. I shouldnt have to but she shouldnt have been charged in the first place i am so fucking upset about it. EVerything was perfect and planned out but OF COURSE nothing in my life can ever go my way. I am always fucking myself and other people over. I feel like a sack of shit. but its the stupid companies fault because the first reservation shouldve worked but THEY typed in the credit card info wrong. 

SO josh is telling me all this shit on the phone and i just lose it. I start crying because i have to tell my brother in law that i can no longer come because i cant afford it and the plans that i said were a sure thing actually fell through. I am not going to get to see my sister for probably 10 months now.. and so im sitting here crying because im sad and im also feeling like shit about the money and hassle i put his grandma through and his grandparents probably high key hate my ass now. i feel so incredibly fucking bad. I just wanted josh to come stay the night bc when i am sad he calms me down. makes me feel better. god forbid I ask him that. god forbid he feels sorry for me and thinks about my feelings before his own for once. of course he refuses to come over and SOMEHOW ends up getting mad at me. okay so now were fighting. great another reason for my heart to hurt. I try SO hard to make him happy and do what he wants. and then i feel like he isnt THERE for me when I need him. he tries to anger buy me a different plane ticket to get me to shut the fuck up but that is just NOT WHAT I NEED> I NEEDED HIM TO BE HERE FOR ME. and he just doesnt get it. he starts getting all pissed at me meanwhile im sitting over here like what the actual fuck is happening right now. we argue for a good forty five fucking minutes. what. he couldve just come over and gone to sleep and we both wouldve been fine. instead he calls me a baby and dramatic. he is always low key putting me down and i just freaked. a switch fucking flipped. so then he PUTS THE PHONE DOWN ON THE TABLE AND “GOES TO SLEEP” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just sets me aside while im trying to talk to him and is like nope im done. so i called him back probably 30 times. you KNOW he doesnt answer me. so i write him the LONGEST text i have ever sent anyone ever. about how upset i am and how much i hate him and his selfish ways and sure maybe I am being dramatic but SHIT. I feel so fucking shitty right now. i want to cut myself open or jump out my window goddamn. I deserve to be put first. my feelings are valid as fuck and he justdoes NOT understand me. I am tired of feelings inadequate. he’ll probably wake up tomorrow. not feel guilty. not feel anything. not text me. and i’ll end up texting him and he’ll tell me he doesnt love me anymore and he’s not happy and he hasn’t been happy in a long time and i will feel so broken and sad and he wont think twice about it. im scared to see what the morning brings.

I just wanted to go surprise my sister for her big birthday. thats all i wanted. screw the person who typed in the card info wrong. you have ruined my life and caused me to owe so much money that i DONT HAVE. 

like i have to pay $2249 on friday to go to peru. and dont worry that isnt the only payment. and dont worry im going to savannah that same day for the bachelorette party and dont worry i definetly wont spend money at all while im there. JUST DONT WORRY. my problem are stupid and compared to other people ive got it so good but i dont feel like that tonight. I feel like i can never catch a break. nothing can go my way. I feel fucking doomed and so fucking sad, like i said i havent felt this bad in a looooong time. i havent really fought with josh in so long and so this happened and hes going to realize im just a fat stressed out ugly bitch who isnt fun to be around and that is going to be the end of us. but dont worry ill put on a stupid ass smile and pretend that everything is a-o-fucking-kay. because school is a joke and my job is a joke and my life is a joke and my feelings are irrelevant as fuck and thats just that. how its been and how it always will  be.

nobody talk to me for the next two days because I am not fucking having it. I dont even deserve to be here. im a waste of space and a sad fucking excuse of a human being. 

fuck this 

fuck