#i havent been drinking as much and last week i drank only once in the week?
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Very very slowly changing my bad habits and doing my best to keep going with the good ones. Wish me luck ✌️
#i havent been drinking as much and last week i drank only once in the week?#this week has been messier though but i had 3 sober days so#also i officially stopped smoking which is HUGE#ive been a heavy smoker for 8 years so this is big#and ive been consistent with my workout routine so#i just need to keep at it and things will work out i hope
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Kozume Kenma x F!Reader x Tetsurou Kuroo ( part 5 )
❝ i’m right here, when are you going to realize that i’m your cure, heartbreak girl? ❞
description: kozume kenma didn’t know the exact day in which he realized that he was in love with you. he knew very well that it was sometime after your first “hello”, but the exact moment got whisked away in the many memories that included you. the problem was, though, that you were in love with and in a serious relationship with the boy he claimed as a best friend.
genre: angst, pining, unrequited love, (characters are aged up as the story continues)
word count: 1.5k
warnings/notes: swearing, all of the characters are aged up in this one, everyone is staring university !! i am so sorry for the short part, i wanted to update this. it’s a filler chapter for next part (which is pretty long and i havent even written all of it yet)
prev | next
“ i fell in your arms tonight ”
┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓
Kozume Kenma hadn’t seen nor heard from you in a while.
After the beach house, it was graduation. And that was it. He had watched you from afar at Nekoma’s graduation, had adored you in that gorgeous dress that you wore for pictures.
With the third years gone and both of you starting your last year of high school, neither of you had a reason to see each other. Kenma didn’t play his last year of volleyball, instead opted to watch from the stands and focus on starting to stream his gaming.
You were focusing on your finals and entrance exams, and on occasion visited Kuroo at his university. He was rooming with Bokuto, so it was a two in one deal when you went. They were happy to sneak you in to stay the night, too.
It was as if when Kuroo left, there was a wall built between your friendship.
Kenma’s online popularity grew quite rapidly. It was almost overwhelming how incredibly fast he had a following, how quickly people rushed to his streams and asked for his socials.
He didn’t mind. He liked to game; and honestly, a lot of their advice helped him beat levels.
It wasn’t something that he wanted to have as a career, which is why he applied to university as a business major. As much as he loved gaming, it wasn’t the only thing he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to do more.
While streaming one day after school, one of his followers had asked him “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Kenma read the comment out loud, rolling his eyes, “I don’t think that matters.”
The mystery of his personal life made him gain even more popularity, it seemed.
You set the coffee down on the edge of the table, rolling your shoulders.
You had been studying for hours when Keiji Akaashi arrived to sit in front of you. It was kind of random, your friendship with him. He was Bokuto’s best friend, and you were Bokuto’s best friend’s girlfriend. It was like having a cousin you kind of knew but not really.
Either way, Akaashi had become your saving grace since starting your final year.
“We have a volleyball game tomorrow.” Akaashi said as he handed you a bagel. “You should come, support the team.”
You smiled. “Yeah, I would love to.”
You found Koutarou Bokuto at the game, sporting old gear and his famous smile. It was incredibly different to find him in the stands instead of on the court.
“If it isn’t Bokuto himself.” You smiled as you stood next to him. He searched for only a second to find you, pushing you playfully with his hand.
“What are you doing here?” He asked. “I thought you didn’t watch our games.”
“Akaashi invited me.” You offered him a sip of your concessions soda. He accepted.
“I’m excited to see Hinata.” He handed you your drink back, even though he drank most of it. “His quick attack has only improved.”
“You’re not wrong.” You chuckled.
Bokuto put his arm around your shoulder and cheered as they announced the starting line up, happily exclaiming for his best friend. You cheered, too.
“Hey, I’m sorry for telling Kuroo about Kenma.” He told you in a low voice. Despite the loud cheers, you heard him.
“It’s fine.” You shrugged. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“That’s hurtful.” He started to move his arm from your shoulders, but you put your hand on his to keep it in place.
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” You said. “I haven’t even talked to Kenma, and I haven’t had a fight with Kuroo since. I was just saying.. I shouldn’t have burdened you with that big of a secret.”
“I am an awful secret keeper.”
You laughed. “Yeah, you are.”
Kozume Kenma watched from a distance. He was wearing one of Hinata’s hoodies in an attempt to blend into the Karasuno side.
Hinata had invited him to their game. He had no idea that he would find you in the crowd. You never went to your own games.
Kenma bit the inside of his mouth.
In all truth, you missed Kenma.
It didn’t matter how awkward it would be. It didn’t matter how much guilt you resided in your rejection. You missed him. You missed going to him for little things. You missed sitting on his beanbag and watching him play whatever game he was playing that day. You missed late night phone calls and facetimes. You missed meeting up at the asscrack of dawn to get ramen while the entire world was still asleep. You missed your head in his lap. You missed him.
You missed your best friend.
And, in truth, he missed you too.
He missed everything about you. He missed your smell, how sweet you always seemed to smell even in the early mornings. He missed how he didn’t mind your touch. He missed your smile. He even missed when you would complain about Kuroo to him. He missed you.
As his best friend’s girlfriend or not. In love with you or not. You were his best friend, and he missed you.
Kozume Kenma’s streams were the highlight of his day. Without Kuroo’s everyday nagging, he didn’t spend a lot of time talking to others. His social stats were at their lowest.
Streaming was his main form of communication. He loved talking to his followers and fans, thanking them for their subs and reading comments.
His username was “applepi”, which was what he always used for his user for everything. With that, his fans called him “pi”. It was ugly as shit but it was better than “cat boy” or some bullshit pet name.
They knew his actual name, too, and he told them that once he started university, he would also post a face reveal and start streaming with a facecam. It was a strategy and also a fun way to create some mystery as to who he was.
hey pi, when do u start uni ?? someone had asked.
Kenma, who was playing and trying to read some of the flooding comments at the same time, replied, “When do I start university? In two weeks. I got accepted into my first choice, so that’s pretty exciting. I’m sure you all will be patiently waiting for my facecam.”
A new rush of comments rolled in, congratulating him on his acceptance and excitement for his face reveal.
His mind was still on you at the volleyball game.
Turns out, you got accepted into the same university as Kenma.
You didn’t know it at the time, of course, because you had no idea which one he wanted to go to. But you did.
Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma, and you would all be going to the same school. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking. You had to stop your hands from shaking as you packed your bags.
You were a bundle of nerves.
You wondered if that was what Kenma felt like before he told you that he loved you. If that was the same feeling.
As you packed, you found Kuroo’s old red hoodie that he told you to keep when he saved you from your parents at the beginning of your relationship.
It had been over a year since then, you reminded yourself.
Knocking interrupted Kozume Kenma, making him jump slightly in his chair. He hadn’t started his daily stream yet, he had only just started to set up, so he headed to the door.
Of all the things he was expecting, he was not expecting to see you standing on his doorstep. He was not expecting to find your eyes on his, rimmed in tears and redness, and he feared that he was imagining the sight in front of him.
“Hi.” He said against the silence.
“Me and Kuroo broke up.” You said as a greeting.
Kenma didn’t have a second thought before he stepped aside to let you in. He didn’t think before tweeting to his followers that he would not be streaming that day. He didn’t think before pulling you into his arms and allowing you to cry against his chest.
Because love does a lot of things, but it doesn’t go away with mere silence.
tag list: @elianetsantana @sazunari @jennasquishy8 @chao01248 @alysken @cinnamonruts @paradisebabey @kikikittykis @yatoatyourservice
#anime#manga#haikyuu#kenma x reader#kozume kenma#kozume x reader#kozume x you#kenma x you#kozume kenma x reader#kozume kenma x you#tetsurou kuroo#tetsuro kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu one shot#tooruluv🍄post
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Me and stephanie dancing up Christian
"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "
Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States
Last Login: 4/13/2008
I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra
Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.
Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.
Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!
Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details
Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science
2000 to 2002
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model
Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US
M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US
The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]
Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)
RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)
Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)
National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)
Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)
[View All Blog Entries]
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!
Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.
THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:�� My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is
CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting
Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.
Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11
Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES
The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.
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Tagged by @ryuzakki thank you so much anthea <33
tagging: @kuruisu, @lovekuramas, @ocarinnas @kishitan-iis @usagiyamah @haru-kaas
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 15 people
LAST
1. drink - green tea !
2. 📱 call - my mom
3. text - a friend texting to ask about concert merch
4. song you listened to - idk the name of the song but its the yakuza 0 soundtrack
5. time you 😢 - yesterday tbh
HAVE YOU EVER
6. dated someone twice - never even dated anyone once lmao
7. 😘 someone and regretted it - never kissed anyone either
8. been cheated on - nope
9. lost someone special - yes, when i was quite young
10. been depressed - yeah
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never thrown up after drinking
FAVORITE COLORS
12. (pastel) pink !!
13. purple
14. blue
15. yellow !
in the last year have you
16. made new friends - yes !!
17. fallen out of 💛 - nope nope
18. 😂 until you 😢 - yes i have !! ive got some funny friends :’)
19. found out someone was talking about you - nope but im sure people are
20. met someone who changed you - um i didnt meet anyone knew but i got closer to some people who changed me!
21. found out who your friends are - not really
22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nope nope
GENERAL
23. how many friends from your fb friends list do you know irl - all of them except tania and joanne
24. do you have any pets - i have a hamster named beanu !
25. do you want to change your middle name - not really, its my chinese name and i quite like it c:
26. what did you do for your last 🎂 - i thought we were throwing a surprise party for my friend but when i showed up, it turns out they were all throwing a surprise party for me and it was super sweet :’) we ended up going for korean bbq and karaoke !
27. what time did you wake up today - 12pm /sweats
28. what were you doing last night at midnight - working on my midterm notes
29. what is something you can’t wait for - MARIANAS TRENCH CONCERT !! this wednesday!!!! i havent shut up about it for weeks !!!
30. what are you listening to right now - still the yakuza 0 soundtrack !
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i knew someone named tommy which i think is close enough
32. something that gets on your nerves - when people :)) are late :))) and they dont notify you that they will be late :)))) so you just sit there for an hour, not sure if they are actually going to show up :)))))))
33. most visited website - twitter & youtube & probably my school website
34. hair color - auburn ish with black roots now lol
35. long hair or short hair - i have rlly long hir and i like it on me ! altho i think short hair is adorable in general
36. do you have a crush on someone - nope
37. what do you like about yourself - i like that i try to view things optimistically, that im decently good at art, that im a big dreamer
38. want any piercings - i used to until i found out im allergic to whatever they make earrings etc out of
39. blood type - tbh they told me and i forgot
40. nicknames - carz, carmine, weeb, dumbass, sunshine (which is still???? the cutest??)
41. relationship status - nonexistent
42. zodiac - virgo
43. pronouns - she/her
44. favorite 📺 show - hmm i havent watched tv in a while but the first that come to mind are b99 and doctor who. also rosy business!!! and scarlet heart (the original chinese one) was rlly good!
45. tattoos - love it on others, not so much myself
46. right handed or left - right!
47. ever had surgery - i mean,,, not that i can remember?
48. piercings - I mean pierced ears but they are closing so ??
49. sports - i love skiing, skating and rollerblading !!! basically i dont like team sport, i like sports where i can just enjoy being outside c:
50. vacation - we are planning a trip to BANFF!!! and im so excited!!! BANFF is such a gorgeous park and its just one of my dreams to go hiking or canoeing there omg ;; ^ ;;
51. trainers - ??? are these running shoes??? i wear them in the summer bc i walk a lot, not so much winter bc canada is freaking cold
MORE GENERAL
52. eating - just gum
53. drinking - green tea, its all i ever drink
54. i’m about to watch - nothing since i need to study (but realistically, im going to watch yu yu hakusho)
55. waiting for - the concert ! and also for my acceptance (or rejection) letters to come in
56. want - a degree that can actually get me a job lol
57. get married - let me actually get into a relationship first before i think about this lol
58. career - dream career? field ecologist or working in a sanctuary or really anything environmental. realistically? teacher or nurse
WHICH IS BETTER
59. kisses or hugs - hugs def
60. 👄 or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - taller
62. older or younger - older, im already immature enough for the both of us
63. nice arms or stomach - ?? neither tbh
64. hookup or relationship - relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant - a bit of both !
HAVE YOU EVER
66. 😘 a stranger - nope, im literally the most boring person
67. drank hard liquor - yupp, actually more often than i should
68. lost glasses - yeah ^^;;
69. turned someone down - i think? in like elementary?
70. sex on first date - nope
71. broken someone’s ❤️- maybe?? but like in elementary??? so does that even count lol
72. had your 💔 - not really but ive felt super betrayed by friends
73. been arrested - not yet
74. 😢 when someone died - ,,,, yeah
75. fallen for a friend - yes but she straight af so
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
76. yourself - on good days !
77. miracles - not really
78. 💛 at first sight - with fictional characters maybe. irl? nah
79. 🎅 - lmao santa vixx maybe
80. 😘 on a first date - ?? idk let me go on a date first and ill get back to you eventually
81. angels - only friends sweet enough to be angels
other
82. best friend’s name - they all have unique names so let me use their nicknames: uma, sai, rita & veanu, what would i do without them :’(
83. eye color - brown
84. favorite movie - Lord of the Rings & Howl’s Moving Castle !!!! and a bunch of really old movies that im not gonna bother listing
85. favorite actor - i mean i really liked andy lau for a long time. and also wayne lai & sheren tang because i just ADORE rosy business. and ryan reynolds. always ryan reynolds.
#carmen talks#.txt#i literally have no relationship exp dhajdsaljjas#but thank you for tagging me!!!#tag games
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class started 2 days ago. im actually caught up. amazing. im going to maintain this momentum. i have to if i want to get a part time job. hopefully that co-op guy responds to my email and if he says yes, then i will try and apply for something part time.
im also staying at home longer than i expected. thought id hate it because my family are just assholes but honestly, i clean and do the laundry and i feel like thats enough. theyre not gonna get mad at me for not cooking bc im doing all the other shit anyway. the only annoying thing is i have no space to smoke weed. im probably going to the library tmr in which case ill purchase vape cartridges otw back maybe bc at least those smell good. but they dont get u as high ugh.
wait i wanted to do a life update. what else....watched no way home. eh not that good. i thought itd be better. for some reason i didnt really care about aunt may that much, like marisa tomei is a really good actress but i just didnt care. the ending was so sad though like fucking seriously.... i liked the ending but it was just really really sad. my ranking of mcu spiderman movies: homecoming > no way home >= far from home. but idk i liked far from home a lot but the twist was pretty stupid. everything else was good though. and no way home just had a stupid plot catalyst, the rest was decent. so those two are about equal really.
i maybe got covid. i feel like i did since i had a terrible fever like 2 weeks ago and then my dad was sick last week and now my moms feeling symptoms (and she got a flu shot). wanna see if i can get a test tomorrow. if its been two weeks ill probably test negative though... ya idk. i wont lie i did not quarantine perfectly. i had to go out on the 23rd (had a really bad headache but had to go all the way to *** return my laptop) and on the 26th to actually move all my stuff to the new place. i havent really talked to ppl but i did go to the library on the 5th (technically yesterday) and went thrifting today. and ya tmr i want to go to the library again because ireally do need to do this fuckhead report. im doing a fucking self study fuck it.
my gums are crazy senstiive lately. i bought a different brand of toothpaste recently and i think its colgate (something to do with gums) to help but it made it worse and it tastes fucking vile, so i had to buy sensodyne today. i guess sensodyne has a numbing effect or something bc it wasnt nearly as bad today. i dont fucking know why this is happening. im really good about brushing my teeth. i brush twice a day and floss at night and wear my nightguard. tbh i miss a day or two but never more than like once every two weeks and i do drink tea but rarely soda, i dont really have sugary stuff or fast food super often (but a lot of my food is fried). in any case i used to be totally fine and then like a week ago it just got horrible. the only thing i have in recent memory that might have contributed is that i drank a full soda (with a straw), i got my period, and i started taking vitamin c and d. i feel like its probably the vitamin c. ok ill stop taking the chewable tablets and see if that helps at all
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Tagged~
I was tagged by the lovely @mrscocoachaos thank you sm!
rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people
— what was your last…
1. drink: tea 2. phone call: my dad 3. text message: my sister 4. song you listened to: Jupiter by Earth, Wind & Fire 5. time you cried: last sunday i think?
— have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: have i even dated someone once lol 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. been cheated on: nah 9. lost someone special: nah 10. been depressed: hell yea B^) 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah
— fave colours
12. beige 13. yellow 14. pink
— in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: ya!! 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: ya 18. found out someone was talking about you: nah 19. met someone who changed you: nah 20. found out who your friends are: ye 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nah
— general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pretty much all of them 23. do you have any pets: yes a cat and a dog!! 24. do you want to change your name: nope 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to a restaurant 26. what time did you wake up today: 6:15 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28. what is something you can’t wait for: i really dont know, maybe redecorating my room 30. what are you listening to right now: Be Faithful by Fatman Scoop 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: like once 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: annoying customers 33. most visited website: tumblr or instagram 34. hair colour: dark brown 35. long or short hair: i have fairly long hair i guess 36. do you have a crush on someone: no 37. what do you like about yourself: not much but if i had to choose probably my eyebrows lmfao 38. want any piercings: might get some more ear piercings but i doubt it 39. blood type: no clue lol 40. nicknames: dont really have one, some people call me G tho 41. relationship status: single pringle B^) 42. sign: scorpio 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv show: god i dont have one lol, i like reality tv tbh. Dont really watch tv other than that 45. tattoos: i want some :^( 46. right or left handed: right 47: ever had surgery: nope 48. piercings: 5, all in my ears lol 49. sport: ew no 50. vacation: maybe in the future 51. trainers: i like Nike and Adidas, i cant choose lol
— more general
52. eating: currently nothing 53. drinking: still got this cup of tea 54. i’m about to watch: nothing 55. waiting for: my week off B^) 56. want: to be happy with myself.......... thats so sappy & depressing lol 57. get married: maybe? idk if it happens it happens 58. career: i work in retail
— which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: taller 62. older or younger: older 63. nice arms or stomach: i dont mind..?? i guess haha 64. hookup or relationships: relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
— have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: like spirits n shit?? hell yea 68. turned someone down: yea 69. sex on first date: havent even had one date lol 70: broken someone’s heart: i hope not?? 71. had your heart broken: nah 72. been arrested: nah 73. cried when someone died: ya 74. fallen for a friend: nah
— do you believe in
75. yourself: nope 76. miracles: no 77. love at first sight: no 78. santa claus: of course 79. angels: no
— misc
80. eye colour: dark brown 81. best friend’s name: thats kinda personal lol 82. favourite movie: theres so many..... but id probably say Escape from Alcatraz 83. favourite actor: oof probably Chris Evans 84. favourite cartoon: so many to choose from but i havent watch a cartoon in a while. codename kids next door was great, whats new scooby doo is still lit, but the secret show is where its at 85. favourite teacher’s name: catherine :’^) best teacher i ever had
Wew thank you so much for tagging me! Im gonna tag @glitterbazooka and @shambhalala , only if you wanna do it ;^)
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Tagggg
rules: once tagged you need to fill out these 92 truths and tag 25 people (fuc that its too much ok bye)
Tagged by the way too awesome @zeldasdiaries thank u darl
LAST
Drink: cinnamon milk that fucking burnt my soul so I guess im a phoenix nowhi
Phone Call: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dad
Text Message: Juds
Song you Listened To: Michael in the Bathroom from Be More Chill
Time You Cried: It’s been two weeks I think? wow
HAVE YOU EVER
Dated Someone Twice: I didn’t even realize it was a first date or even a date, fucker, I’m dense
Been Cheated On: guess I can’t say shit
Kissed Someone and Regretted It: kissed who what now
Lost Someone Special: Yup.
Been Depressed: Mood swings sometimes go there
Been Drunk and Thrown Up: how. Havent even been drunk. How’s that feel homie
Made a New Friend: heCKA I’d die for them
Fallen Out of Love: fallen out of crush sounds more like it (boy. Bbbbbboy)
Laughed Until you Cried: WOOOOOOO
Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY BOY BOY
Found Out Someone was Talking About You: *inhales* WOOOOOOOOOoOooOooOoOooO
GENERAL
How Many People on Tumblr Do You Know in Real Life: lmao like 3 shitheads from college. Hey losers yknow who you are. I’m talking to you you furry piece of trash
Do You Have Any Pets: I have a 2 year old Chihuahua named Princesa and she will annihilate you
Do You Want to Change your name? I never particularly disliked my name, or liked it, I just thought it was too weird. I learnt the symbolism behind it last year and dare I say, its spot on. Thanks ma
What Time Did You Wake Up this Morning? I think it was 10 am. Whoops
What Were You Doing Last Night? Drawing Llyr because I have no fucking self-control oh my god I hate reading
Have You Ever Talked To A Person named Tom? I thought they were myth.
What’s Getting On Your Nerves Right Now? Reading this fucking book for school
Blood Type: O+
Nickname: Lynxie, Lynx, Lyn, Jan, Boss, Grey overlord, the Queen of all Nutella
Zodiac Sign: Libra I think
Pronouns: She-her
Favorite Show: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh atla
College: the Ibero over here in Mexico
Hair Color: think Nutella and you got it
Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Nutella, I’m hungry
What Do You Think of Yourself: If I did a crunch every time I thought about the kids from my comic I would be more shredded than Goku
FIRST
Surgery? Haven’t had an actual surgery ever
Piercing: Where my earrings are
First Sport You Joined: swimming, a lot others followed and I didn’t stay on one for long either way
First Vacation: idfk I was like 3 maybe
First Pair of Sneakers? How do you remember this
RIGHT NOW
Eating: my lazyness
Drinking: water (fuck you Juds)
I’m About To: fucking read this shit im so tired
Listening To: my dad doing the dad cough noises upstairs. He sounds like a fucking truck
Dream Career: FeaturedWebtoonCreatorDontLaugh@Me
Want Kids: hhhhhhecka no
Want to Get Married: Probably. Idk how yall manage tho
WHICH IS BETTER
Lips or eyes: Nose. Eyebrows. Nose,
Hugs or Kisses: fuck you
Shorter or Taller: Being taller than me isn’t the most daunting task a person could take yknow I say I like taller but everyone is taller yiaymean
Older or Younger: a year younger a year older who tf knows. Do they know the good memes?
Romantic or Spontaneous: I’m embarrassed either way
Sensitive or Loud: Either gets me
Hook Up or Relationship: Relationship tf
Troublemaker or Hesitant: how many shrimps do you have to eat, before your skin turns pink-
HAVE YOU EVER
Kissed a Stranger: what. how
Drank Hard Liquor: I can’t even drink root beer without switching over to water in 2 seconds heck im bad
Lost Contacts/Glasses: do sunglasses count. Yes.
Sex on First Date: who. what
Broken Someone’s Heart: oh sweetie he was a fucking psyco
Been Arrested: lmao sure 100000%
Turned Someone Down: Faded them so hard they became extinct
Fallen for a Friend: ha! Ha h a h a ha h a HAHA HA AH AAHA AHA HAH AHA yeahIcried
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
Yourself: Yeah, thanks Sidon
Miracles: THERE CAN BE MIIIIIIIIIRACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES (yes)
Love at First Sight: I don’t even believe in giving half a shit at first sight tho. Unless you spit me some meme
I tag uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh @queakenstein @philsterman01 @judithestelle @zelink-af @nasanerd09 @castiel-lord-of-the-underworld @trii-f0rce @pithya @philly--cheese--steak @namikodraws @unlucky-black-chat @intergalacticclouds @akanague @elopetothesea @sabakunocasali @yameme @damnitsizzi @sapphirezelda BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT OKI BAIII
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i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!
rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)
— what was your last…
1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch
— have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao
— fave colours
12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk
— in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes
— general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways
23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future
24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it
25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖
26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely
28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days
30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......
32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn
33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube
34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago
35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips
36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)
37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?
38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear
39. blood type: 0 positive, i think
40. nicknames: Lily
41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen
42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius
43. pronouns: she/her
44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them
45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding
46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that
50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao
51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens
— more general
52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay
53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u
54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet
55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face
56. want: to cuddle honestly
57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis
58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague
— which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs
60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes
61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually
62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)
63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up
64. hookup or relationships: relationships
65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both
— have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?
69. sex on first date: nope
70: broken someone’s heart: probably
71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda
72. been arrested: no
73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily
74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here
— do you believe in
75. yourself: ugh
76. miracles: i want to
77. love at first sight: no
78. santa claus: i want to lol but no
79. angels: fuck yes
— misc
80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana
82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really
83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u
84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons
85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that
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tagged by @whiteladyofrohann
Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
Last;
1. Drink: tea 2. Phone call: My dad 3. Text message: im on the train now -
4. Song you listened to: arsonists lullaby hozier
5. Time you cried: like proper cried? not like just a tear or two ? i think a few weeks a go when i thought too much about andrew ...dont judge me * runs away*
6. Dated someone twice?: like dated broken up and then dated again? no or gone on more than one date with the same person? ...also no ive had a few disastrous first dates but never made it the second one lol
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: apparently i am now oh well cest la vie 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk yes with ive never been sick from alcohol
Fave colours;
12. pink 13. Blue 14. purple
In the last year have you…
15. Made new friends: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: with academia yea 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes 21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no
General;
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: almost all of them 23. Do you have any pets: i had a kitty who loved dearly but sadly he passed in October
24. Do you want to change your name: No 25. What did you do for your last birthday: got real drunk in the student pub innit
26. What time did you wake up today: honestly ?*deep sigh* noon *horn of shame* and i had to be in work at 1 so i had to throw clothes on and grab a brunch and run for it thank god they didnt put me on morning 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: thinking about going bed but for some reason i didnt even though i wasnt really doing anything else
28. What is something you cant wait for: im going to dodie live again i love her 30. What are you listening to right now: footloose 31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: oh i know many many toms
32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: short people jokes and jokes in general about my disabilities .. which btw my height is a part of.. it just isnt funny... unless i make them hah ...but then thats a much different thing to laugh at yourself than to have other people do it and sometimes its not even a joke its someone blatantly mocking the way you walk / run in your view than laughing when they see you noticed and just that sucks ? like couldnt you at least wait for me to go first or laugh when you need help to reach things off shelves and stuff and the fact that sometimes you gotta make those jokes yourself just so no one else can soz tmi but god that hacks me off
33. Most visited website: Youtube? 34. Hair colour: Blonde 35. Long or short hair: my hair? short its just below my jaw atm 36. Do you have a crush on someone: only actors
37. What do you like about yourself: determination kindness and i have a good memory
38. Want any piercings?: No 39. Blood type: idk it 40. Nicknames: beth bethie 41. Relationship status: Single 42. Zodiac: Sagittarius 43. Pronouns: She/her 44. Fave tv shows: Game of Thrones, braodchurch penny dreadful doctor who and im enjoying the punisher atm also i have an on / off relationship with holby city and casualty and all those hospital dramas tbh
45. Tattoos: None ...yet... 46. Right or left handed: Right 47. Ever had surgery: yes three on the leg once when i hurt my skull pretty bad i also broke my arm but that probably doesnt count cause i dont think i had surgery on it ? i cant quite remember it had three different casts tho 48. Piercings: just standard ears 49. Sport: no thanks lol my bug sis is trying to get into running he like ill make you feel better we can do fun runs together im like .. nope ... i think find fun run is an oxymoron sis
50. Vacation: i want to go to Australia or America but will probaly end up just in Devon again
51. Trainers: standard ones idk
More general;
52. Eating: pancakes
53. Drinking: tea 54. I’m about to watch: nothing atm
55. Waiting for: right now ? nothing really bed i guess? 56. Want: to go shopping
57. Get married: id like to someday
58. Career: i have even less idea about that now then i used to idk a writer i could do that maybe
Which is better;
59. Hugs or kisses: hugs
60. Lips or eye: Eyes 61. Shorter or taller: Taller nobody is shorter than me -
62. Older or younger: than me? hmm maybe older but not too much older or the same age would be better
63. Nice arms or stomach: arms 64. Hookup or relationship: Relationship 65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker
Have you ever;
66. Kissed a stranger: no
67. Drank hard liquor: yes 68. Lost glasses: yes
69. Turned someone down: Yes 70. Sex on first date: No 71. Broken someones heart: i dont think so im 90 % sure people i turned down did it for jokes i mean know for sure one was a joke the others probably were too assholes 72. Had your heart broken: Yes 73. Been arrested: No 74. Cried when someone died: Yes 75. Fallen for a friend: yes
Do you believe in;
76. Yourself: im trying to
77. Miracles: yes
78. Love at first sight: depends
79. Santa claus: i used to haha 80. Kiss on a first date: i havent so far but my dates up to now have all been sucky so if i had a really nice one maybe
81. Angels: yes
Other;
82. Best friend’s name: V 83. Eye colour: green 84. Fave movie: the aristocats 27 dresses 10 things i hate about you 85. Fave actor: alfie allen iwan rheon david tennant
tagging @randomlut @gennalannisters @themanwithakeyisking @maddie-grove @s0mewhereweaknessis0urstrength @anotherrandompersonsblog
if you want to :)
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85 statements
tagged by @mochiminii, its been while since ive been tagged in anything, so thank you miss athena (´ ∀ ` *)
rule: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people (i dont even think i know people oOF)
last
1. drink - a good ol’ caprisun 2. phone call - my mom 3. text message - my best friend oOF 4. song you listened to - love scenario by the one and onLY IKON 5. time you cried - man i cry a lot hdkadhdjkadj i would say this morning???
ever
6. dated someone twice - ... yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it - what is a kiss???????????? 8. been cheated on - sadly yes 9. lost someone special - hasnt everyone? 10. been depressed - still am quite depressed 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no no no
fave colours
12. gray 13. black 14. white
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - yes 16. fallen out of love - ...idk? 17. laughed until you cried - yeah yeah 18. found out someone was talking about you - sadly yes 19. met someone who changed you - yee 20. found out who your friends are - yes and now i only have oNE 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - i havent been on facebook in so long wdhwkadjhw
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i dont go on facebook djawkdla 23. do you have any pets - my dog, mickey, and my lovely bearded dragon, larry (aka koobee, aka michael, aka rong) 24. do you want to change your name - i like my name 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went out to eat with my aunt and best friend and had the time of my life 26. what time did you wake up today - 0700 grOSS 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - having a crisis... and crying a lil 28. what is something you cant wait for - HOBI’S MIXTAPE, THE HIXTAPE 30. what are you listening to right now - to grey’s anatomy in the background 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes my uncles name is tom 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - life. yeah, just life. 33. most visited website - youtube !!! 34. hair colour - really dark brown??? it turns orange in the sun? idk 35. long or short hair - long 36. do you have a crush on someone - KIM SEOKJIN HELLO THERE 37. what do you like about yourself - my hair (when it actually cooperates with me) 38. want any piercings? - nah 39. blood type - O neg 40. nicknames - meo (my parents call me this, its cat in vietnamese!), i use to have a bunch but- yeah- 41. relationship status - im in a relationship, yeah... how? idk 42. zodiac - taurus 43. pronouns - she/her (honestly idc much about pronouns though dhjawkd) 44. fave tv shows - shERLOCK dhwkjdhwak ive been rewatching grey’s over and over 45. tattoos - nah dude 46. right or left handed - right handed, but i can write pretty well with left too 48. piercings - just typical lobe piercings 49. sport - i used to be in taekwondo, now i dont do anything except sit 50. vacation - i just wanna go back to vietnam, man 51. trainers - trainers???
more general
52. eating - kettle cooked potato chips 53. drinking - some water 54. i’m about to watch - the lion king for the 17th time this week 55. waiting for - the day i can sit and relax 56. want - to make everyone smile and idk, to buy my dad his dream car and my mom a better house 57. get married - not anytime soon 58. career - pharmacist,,, or maybe go into emergency medicine,,, OR a police officer
which is better
59. hugs or kisses - hugs 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - taller 62. older or younger - older, but not so much older 63. nice arms or stomach - arms 64. hookup or relationship - relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant - man a lil bit of both?
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - nope 67. drank hard liquor - at a wedding once, oN ACCIDENT, it looked like coke 68. lost glasses - nonononono 69. turned someone down - yes, it was hard hdjakwdh 70. sex on first date - nope 71. broken someone’s heart - im not sure? 72. had your heart broken - ... hmmm 73. been arrested - nooo, but ive been handcuffed for my law class 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - nope
do you believe in
76. yourself - no, not really, but ive been trying to get back to that 77. miracles - nope 78. love at first sight - nah 79. santa claus - noooo 80. kiss on a first date - not sure 81. angels - have you met bts?
other
82. best friend’s name - kayla 83. eye colour - dark brown 84. fave movie - miss congeniality, lion king, the ultimate: MULAN, cars and cARS 3 (FUCK jackson storm), black pANTHER, dr strange 85. fave actor - SANDRA BULLOCK: thE ULTIMATE, benedict cumberbatch, chadwick boseman, oOF AND LETS NOT FORGET MARTIN FREEMAN
i tag (if you dont wanna be tagged please tell me ٩(◕‿◕。)۶): @hobicorn @jin-kiss @cuteseokjin @1ovemoni @emjooni (ive been offline for so long, me tagging some of you if probably a shoCK)
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LABOR AND BIRTH STORY
This COVID 19 pandemic has caused a lot of inconvenience to the people. Especially to senior citizens, minors, persons with immunodeficiency, comorbidies, and health risks; and pregnant women. Above mentioned are at high risk in getting the virus.
Last October 3 on my prenatal check up, I was advised to get a swab test before I was due. As per hospital protocols, pregnant women should have a negative swab test result first before delivery. If not, mama and baby will be joined with other people (covid positive or not) upon delivery. This is just sad because we won't really know when a pregnant woman could deliver the baby.
My expected due date was November 7. But from hearsays, first babies are usually born later than expected due date. Just like Reynald's baby was. So I estimated to have the swab test scheduled on October 29 at Vicente Sotto for free. Obgyne's suggestions for swab were at APM mall near SM City Cebu and at UC Med Mandaue. But swab tests were costing 7k and 5k, respectively. Jeez. So much inconvenience.
The obgyne said she can only be there for her patients when admitted at St Vincent General Hospital. It is the only one of her three affiliated hospitals that does not accept Covid patients. So that's where we planned to get admitted.
I was also advised for prenatal visit on October 17. That was already my 37th week of pregnancy. I have searched that pregnanct mothers can already give a normal delivery at that week. The obgyne said she was also going to perform IE on me on that visit.
So on that day, I thought performing IE's would be thru a device inserted down there. Turns out, it was just pure fingering down there 😭 mind you, Jan and I havent had any contact all throughout the pregnancy. And right now, I am being fingered. It hurt. I felt virgin. Lols. But it did hurt 😂😭 like vaginal shock.
The doctor said my cervix was still closed. I need to have it opened already. The earlier the delivery, the better, so that the baby does not grow too much while inside the tummy, to avoid caesarean delivery. The doctor prescribed me Evening Prim Rose oil to help open up my cervix and expecting at least 1 cm opening by the next week.
The next week October 24, I visited the obgyne again. Cervix was still closed. She advised to double dose the primrose oil to be taken morning and night. I was advised again to visit on October 30 if I still havent had the delivery yet.
After the prenatal visit, Jan and I moved to his Aunt's house.
During pregnancy, I usually wake up atleast twice at night to pee. I also get super thirsty at night 🤷��♀️
But on October 27, 2020, at 11:30pm, I woke up to pee and then drank atleast 1 glass full of water. This, I found to be normal and usual.
Then around 1:30am Oct 28, I woke up again to pee. And drank another half glass of water just to satisfy the thirst. I know I shouldn't keep drinking to avoid peeing a lot, right? But I was always thirsty at night.
At 2:30am, I had a little accident of peeing a little but stopped it before peeing all the way at the CR. I noticed my pee color was a bit cloudy. It wasn't normally like that. I have made research before about gush of water bag. It only said the color would be the same as pee. The definite sign is when the pee smells metallic. I dont really breathe thru my nose when Im inside the CR, but this time, I had to because it was a bit suspicious. But I smelled nothing. But when I came back to bed, I suddenly felt like pooping. I drank half a glass of water again.
At 2:54am, the sudden urge to pee again and this time, it was really hard to hold it. The pee has flown while I stood. I woke Jan up because I wasn't sure about it anymore. Then I went to CR to finish peeing. It still was cloudy but there was no odor. And the feeling of wanting to poop was still there and my back hurt like how my back hurts when I have my period. Jan wiped the pee on the floor. I felt so greatful he wasn't grossed out about it. Or maybe he did, but didn't show it 🥺❤️
I felt really worried about it already so I texted my obgyne at 3:27am of what happened. Jan and I just thought maybe it was just really pee. But there's still little trickles of pee, so I wore a sanitary napkin already. And this time, I didn't drink water just to be sure it wasn't because I kept drinking water.
At 6am, my obgyne called. She informed me that it was really water bag rupture. She told me to go to the hospital already but then I wasn't swabbed yet. So she told me to go to UC Med for swab since UC Med and St Vincent Hospitals are sister hospitals. After swabbing, she advised for me to go to her clinic at 3-4pm for an IE just to be sure it was already the water bag rupture.
We then went to UCMed at 8am together with Ate Ana. My stomach already hurts every once in a while.
When we got back home, the hurt becomes a little stronger. So I texted the obgyne if I could visit the clinic sooner. The doctor said we could visit at 1pm.
When we arrived, I got IE'd and the doctor confirmed it really was the water bag rupture but I was still at 1cm. Like omgggg. Everything felt so real already. But at the same time, I was really worried because as per doctor's experience with other patients, it takes 1 week to open up to atleast 6cm. Like, whaaaat is going on here? 😭
We then went straight to St Vincent General Hospital and arrived at 2pm. But I was still placed at the Out Patient Department as we were advised to wait before endorsed to the Labor Room for the swab result from UCmed to avoid bigger costs of the attendants' PPE. They also called UCMed to follow up results, UCMed said they would try to have the result given by 5pm. Wew. Another 3hrs of pain. I was advised when it hurts, I just had to breathe thru mouth. I was constantly asked for the intervals of pain. It was still at about 10-15mins.
At 5pm, they called UCMed again. Unfortunately, they moved the time to 9pm or 10pm. Like whaaaat, another 4-5hrs of pain! Jan was with me at the OPD. His face concerned and caring. Like, this is another part of Jan I haven't seen yet. I was so happy 🥺❤️😭
At around 9pm, I wanted to pee. When I peed, I noticed my pee was already colored brown. I told Jan. There was a little bit of my pee on the floor. He was not grossed out about it and even took a picture and sent it to Ate Ana.
At 10pm, UCmed has yet again disappointed. They said to wait until 1am. I was already in strong tummy pain. Intervals were already at 2-4mins. I told Jan what if I want to be in the Labor room already? But he kept encouraging me to wait and if I can still hold it for a few more hours.
So at 1am, I asked the nurses to call UCmed. They havent made a feedback until 2am already. Result was negative for COVID. Wew. Finally!
I was then taken first to the Emergency Room to be interviewed and IE'd by the resident obgyne. There already were tubes attached to me. Dextrose and stuff. And it my tummy reaaaallly hurts already. The resident obgyne was asking me questions and I strongly breathe in between each answers. 😭
I also had to lie on my back. I really didn't want that position as it feels very uncomfortable. After the questions, she IE'd me. She told me the baby has already pooped inside because her fingers were already full of brown stuff. That explained the brown color on my pee! The baby has possibly already ate some of it. What would be worse was if some of it went to his lungs. 😭 Bad news also was that I was still at 4cm! Lord, why all the bad things right now? 😭
Then I was taken to the Labor Room. Dr Geline was already waiting for me there. I was still monitored and we waited some time. Then she checked my cervix at around 4am but I was still at 6cm. I still had to lay on my back. Everything was so uneasy and uncomfortable already. Dr Geline told me to wait until 6am for the opening of my cervix.
At quarter to 6am, she IE'd me again but still at 6cm. She then told the staff to get ready for Caesarean Operation and called for the necessary doctors to be around. I was already so sad. Then she came to me and asked if I was really gonna undergo CS. She then told me "Mag CS jud ta because I already gave the chance. It's already been more than 24hrs since the water bag rupture. 28hrs already. And only 50% of amniotic fluid remains in the water bag. And cervix was still at 6cm open." she told me one of the tubes attached to me was already for induce, to help with opening of the cervix, but I was not responding to it and she has observed it hurt me a lot. She had taken it out and inserted it back and taken it out again but I was still at 6cm. In my mind, I was already so sad. Expenses would already be at 100k plus already! 😭 Dr Geline has also already informed Jan.
Then I was taken to the Operating Room. An anaesthesiologist was explaining to me about stuff that was gonna happen. They are gonna inject the anaesthesia and everything from my stomach down to my feet will be numb. Then I was put in a crouch position to have my spinal column clear to see. There was a specific place in my back where they are gonna inject the general anaesthesia.
They placed a cloth infront of me, like how you see in the movies where you cannot see them operation below. After the injection, I felt so cold. To the point I was freezing and my teeth were already clicking and making noises. The anaethesiologist was talking to me. She told me that it was nothing to worry about as it is normal when general anaesthesia is injected. And catheter was gonna be inserted so I may feel a little tingle down there. My arms were open wide. I cant remember if they were tied. What I knew was that I was awoke by the anaesthesiologist because I was already asleep while they were operating. "Maam, ayaw sag katog kay padung na mugawas si baby, nihagok pa raba jud ka". OMG kauwaw! 🙈😭
A few minutes after, I heard a baby crying. There, I saw my baby. But he wasn't placed on my chest😢 maybe also because I was numb. In my mind was "that's it? I already gave birth?" it felt nothing. Like blank. Also because I was numbed all over. It didn'tnhurt at all. Not the scenario or feeling Inhad expected for months. I could hear from doctors below mentioning "cord coil" but I was just so tired, i had slept again and hagok again 😅
I woke to the sound of my snore at the recovery room. It was just so damn loud. But I didn't care. I felt so friggin tired. A nurse was looking out for me. She asked if I could already move my feet. I couldn't. She told me I couldn't get to our room if I still couldn't move both feet. So I slept and snored again. After an hour or so, although I still could move my right feet, the nurse decided to have me taken at our room and Jan was there. I continued to sleep. I didn't know everyone was already calling Jan for updates. Even my parents. Oh and by the way, Daddy already told Jan to call them Mommy and Daddy already. Awwww ❤️
During my recovery, Jan helped me out. Even on eating, he would spoonfeed me. 🥺I really felt how he cared for me. He's constantly checking if I was okay. Took really good care of me like he was a nurse. ❤️
The next day after giving birth, Doc Geline visited me. She told me what happened. Turned out the baby was cord coiled which was why the baby couldn't descend and why my cervix couldn't open. I had 28hrs of labor. My baby has already defacated inside, already ate some of it, plus some even wen inside the lungs. He had pneumonia on his first day on the world. Imagine the things I was afraid of plus more, all happened on the BIG DAY 😭
But on the good side, atleast both of us are now safe. Things would have turned out bad if we had pushed thru with the normal birth since it the cord coil was only found out during operation, he would have been strangled when pushed out. 😭 It also would have been dangerous for me if I tried to push out on normal delivery because I was already so tired with 28hrs of labor contractions, remember, I snored so hard during operation. 😢
As Claire said, the late result of the swab test was a blessing in disguise. I'd also like to think of it that way.
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92 Truths
Thanks @writefasttalkevenfaster for the tag ;)
LAST…
Drink -Christine: Sauvignon Blanc (Kenzo, Napa Valley, California 2014) because it’s a dessert wine and i am a sweet mofo -Hun: like drink or ~drink~ because the answer is either water or tequila
Phone Call -Christine: a downtown law firm to enquire about a class action (really.) -Hun: my school’s financial aid office which is a wild ride
Song you listened to -Christine: Most of All, by JMSN -Hun: ocean eyes, by Billie Eilish
Time you cried -Christine: reading When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi -Hun: last night lol
HAVE YOU EVER ____?
Dated someone twice -Christine: yes. don’t do it, kids. -Hun: i literally haven’t even dated anyone once
Been cheated on -Christine: lmao i’d like to see them try and get away with it -Hun: no one has had the opportunity
Kissed someone and regretted it -Christine: fuck. it was also like a slow realization of what the fuck did i do which i think is worse -Hun: haven’t kissed anyone at all lmao
Lost someone special - Christine: i only have one grandparent left - Hun: I also only have one grandparent left
Been Depressed - Christine: yep - Hun: ahuh
Been drunk and thrown up - Christine: yepppppp unfortunately - Hun: literally me like every 3 days
IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
Made a new friend -Christine: yesssss looking at you @writefasttalkevenfaster and @mrsrafaelbarba and also my hunny bunny - Hun: I made like 50+ doing some stuff at school which was cool and also mi monita (Christine)
Fallen out of love -Christine: yes and it was the best thing that has ever happened - Hun: this tag was meant for someone with a life
Laughed until you cried -Christine: YES THIS PAST WEEK TWICE - Hun: Earlier in the year back when I hadn’t seen every vine compilation 100 times and they were still fresh to me lmao
Met someone who changed you -Christine: does raul esparza count (havent actually met him in person but my eyes have met him through a screen ok i just decided that esparza counts) - Hun: not really
Found out who your true friends are -Christine: waddup 2012. turbulent year of back-stabbings - Hun: definitely.
Found out someone was talking about you -Christine: yes and apparently I’m a cold elitist bitch, go figure. - Hun: actually no not at all but maybe people just aren’t telling me
GENERAL
How many people on tumblr do you know in real life? -Christine: two - Hun: none
Do you have any pets? -Christine: no but i want a marimo moss ball - Hun: I have a basset hound!!!! His name is Bandit and he is the Best Boy™️!!
Do you want to change your name? -Christine: my actual legal name gets butchered a lot but hey, if ppl can say arnold schwarzenegger then ppl can say mine, capice? i ain’t gonna change it for anybody’s lazy ass tongue. -Hun: Hun is actually a preferred name that I very much prefer but not at all professional sounding, so I like that my proper name is there to be ambiguous and will probably look cool on a name plate
What time did you wake up this morning? -Christine: 8:30AM because dis bitch is still on vacation - Hun: I am also on vacation still but I got up at noon lmao
What were you doing last night -Christine: writing this really sad dodds fic and quoting barba’s contrapasso closing argument @writefasttalkevenfaster sorry girl if it’s fair then it must be just - Hun: I binged watched a bunch of youtube beauty videos
Name something you cannot wait for -Christine: to be finally settled into a residency program i actually like and enjoy - Hun: better
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? -Christine: nope - Hun: No actually
What’s getting on your nerves right now? -Christine: other than my neurotransmitters nothing much - Hun: myself lol
Blood Type -Christine: Coffee+ -Hun: I don’t know but as a really bad anemic person I probably should shouldn’t I
Nickname -Christine: monkey, homicidal monkey in the hat (don’t ask. actually ask @mrsrafaelbarba or @writefasttalkevenfaster) -Hun: bunny, hunny bunny, “hunty” by my sisters
Relationship status -Christine: single -Hun: caballo deprimido
Zodiac -Christine: scorpio -Hun: pisces
Pronouns -Christine & Hun: she/her
Favorite Show -Christine: do not do this to me. I was into BBC Sherlock for a really long time (hence my @moriartyhiii URL) and now i’m into svu (hence this blog) -Hun: SVU of course
College -Christine: University of Depression, campus Crying. -Hun: lmao i go to NYU feel free to stalk
Hair colour -Christine & Hun: Dark Brown
Do you have a crush on someone? -Christine: nope. haven’t since like 2015. -Hun: pete scallopini
What do you like about yourself? -Christine: I like that I really know and respect myself -Hun: ?? idk i’d like to think I’m pretty funny
FIRSTS
Surgery -Christine: done on me- wisdom teeth removal, done on a patient- 14h bilateral lung transplant -Hun: Sometimes you get cysts and it be like that
Piercing -Christine: ears, circa 2014 -Hun: I got my ears pierced maybe in 2004? This says “firsts” but i’m gonna tell you anyway that I got them pierced 9 times lmao and i have my nose and bellybutton done
Sport you joined -Christine: basketball grade 7-12 and first year of college, ballet from age 5 on and off till now, running from first year of college -Hun: I have never done physical activity in my life. I was in marching band lmao
Vacation -Christine: China, Japan, parts of Canada, Australia -Hun: I’ve been up north before (a michigan thing) but I had to hunt which is a pain to me so I wouldn’t call them vacations so I really have never
Pair of sneakers -Christine: don’t do this to me don’t ok fine Reeboks, Nikes, New Balance, Nikes again, Puma -Hun: My first pair of sneakers? I dont get this category why would I know this? So I have many a nike for a person who doesn’t move but I have a pair of white fake keds that are torn and ripped and the bottoms don’t exist but I’m never throwing them away
RIGHT NOW
Eating -Christine: air -Hun: nada
Drinking -Christine: water -Hun: gatorade
I’m about to -Christine: write a smut hc for you thirsty thirsty ppl -Hun: go back to bed
Listening to -Christine: Daydream by Medasin -Hun: the fan
Want kids? -Christine: max two -Hun: Idk I’m like 9 i need time to think
Get married? -Christine: probably? idk -Hun: well I sure fuckin hope
Career -Christine: Med student, aspiring surgeon -Hun: Student, receptionist, clarinet instructor who hopes she’ll be cut out for corporate law
WHICH IS BETTER?
Lips or eyes -Christine & Hun: Eyes
Hugs or kisses -Christine: kisses -Hun: I ain’t never done the kissing but I’m gonna assume its neat
Shorter or taller -Christine & Hun: Taller
Romantic or spontaneous -Christine & Hun: romantic
Sensitive or loud -Christine & Hun: sensitive
Hook up or relationship -Christine: let’s be completely honest here. nothing beats the feeling of fuck em & leave em wanting for more yes i am that asshole -Hun: ^^ I would love to be cool like that. But also *michael scott voice* I love [relationships]. Love to be a part of one someday.
Troublemaker or hesitant -Christine: troublemaker -Hun: hesitant. plz sit down, sir
HAVE YOU EVER…
Kissed a stranger -Christine: yes -Hun: sighing
Drank hard liquor -Christine: yes when i was 20 and thought macallan 25 was hard liquor -Hun: constantly
Lost contacts/glasses -Christine & Hun: dont wear either
Sex on first date -Christine: yep -Hun: now im just sad
Broken someone’s heart -Christine: since we’ve established that i’m an asshole, yes -Hun: my own i’m boo boo the fool
Been arrested -Christine: Nope -Hun: well not “arrested” but I did have to sit in the back of a cop car for awhile lmao long story
Turned someone down -Christine: Yes -Hun: the opportunity has not presented itself
Fallen for a friend -Christine: kinda but i was like 11 -Hun: oh boy i have many a tale on this subject
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ___?
Yourself -Christine: Yes -Hun: lol
Miracles -Christine: no bec i’m a cynical mofo -Hun: at this point I sure hope
Love at first sight? -Christine: nope -Hun: i dont know her i suddenly can’t read
Heaven -Christine: nope -Hun: i do!! am i going?? probably not
Santa Claus -Christine: my brother does (he’s 9) and i buy his gifts so that makes me santa and since we’ve established that i believe in myself, then yes i believe in santa -Hun: my mom didn’t let me believe in santa ever so no, but i want you all to know i was such a good elementary school kid for not saying shit - when kids were mean to me i could’ve just wrecked them but I DID NOT
I tag @barbabangme, @serendiptious-esparza, @dreila03
#get to know us#tldr christine is a cynical asshole santa/elitist cold bitch????#tldr hun is a caballo deprimido
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bruna tagged me and i gotta do it cus her life is on the line if i dont so like i guess ill tag some of u if ya wanna do it
(it’s supposed to be 20 but like i dont know 20 of yall so like ill tag @evelynebrochu @delphines @odetteannable @gaytiemcgrath mm yeh
Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
last
1. drink - almond milk latte
2. phone call - i ignore all phone calls
3. text message - my best friend
4. song you listened to - monotonia // the growlers
5. time you cried - mmm like a month ago
ever
6. dated someone twice? - nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it - not really
8. been cheated on - not that i know of so like no
9. lost someone special - in a way i guess
10. been depressed - mmm yeh
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yeah thas why i cant stand tequila
fave colours
12. light pink
13. black
14. white
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - yep
16. fallen out of love - no ive never been in love so like lmao
17. laughed until you cried - yeh
18. found out someone was talking about you - mmm yeh
19. met someone who changed you - no not really
20. found out who your friends are - this is some tea but yes
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no facebook is for pussies
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - everyone except kate and soph ://
23. do you have any pets - no i fuckin wish bich i want a dog
24. do you want to change your name - in a way i guess...like i dont really think my name fits me like idk my name makes me uncomfortable but like im used to it now
25. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing bc houston thas when hurricane harvey hit and like everything was closed down for like a week so happy 20th to me thas mother nature saying fuck u bich
26. what time did you wake up today - 7:40 am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - idk...i was probably crying bc of sendrick
28. what is something you cant wait for - for me to be rich and sex see
30. what are you listening to right now - the growlers listen to them theyre sexy
31. have you ever talk to a person named tom - no all toms are creeps
32. something thats getting on your nerves - a lot of things like life and being alive in general
33. most visited website - tumblr
34. hair colour - light brown
35. long or short hair - long
36. do you have a crush on someone - i havent had a crush on someone since last summer thank fuck
37. what do you like about yourself - sometimes i like her sometimes i hate her it depends on the energy that day but like shes pretty funny i guess like i make myself laugh
38. want any piercings? - yeah my cartilage
39. blood type - in case im like dying my blood is O- im that universal donor ass bitch
40. nicknames - my friends call me bitch or b or henny
41. relationship status - single lmao
42. zodiac - virgo
43. pronouns - she/dat/bich
44. fave tv shows - the office, parks and rec and ob
45. tattoos - no but like i might get one soon idk of what yet
46. right or left handed - right
47. ever had surgery - no
48. piercings - yah
49. sport - no lmao i was tha lazy bich in high school i only started to get into like fitness and shit my senior year of high school
50. vacation - i wanna go to england
51. trainers - what does this mean idgi
more general
52. eating - i just ate some chickpea pasta w/ tofu
53. drinking - my 3rd coffee of the day
54. im about to watch - my life crash and burn bc i have nothing figured out and i feel like wasting my time lmao
55. waiting for - my lana concert feb 10th and then i can die
56. want - this moneyyyy
57. get married - no
58. career - i dont know!!! im a junior in college i should kno but i dont im gonna have a breakdwon
which is better
59. hugs or kisses - hugs
60. lips or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - im a short as bich so taller
62. older or younger - older
63. nice arms or stomach - stomach bich i want this stomach to be flat like where are u bich im so tired
64. hookup or relationship - hookup cus like people are annoying after a while like leave me alone
65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant is boring but like troublemaker is too much work so like neither
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - no id never im a pussy
67. drank hard liquor - yes
68. lost glasses - i dont need glasses but ive left my best friends shades in an uber once bc he left us in the middle of the road at a festival and we had to run out the car cus it was illegal to stop there so like we ran out and i feel so bad bc they were expensive
69. turned someone down - yes lmao
70. sex on first date - no
71. broken someones heart - i think...
72. had your heart broken - yeah
73. been arrested - no oh myg od i always have nightmares in which im arrested like i just want a mugshot but no
74. cried when someone died - ok but liek who hasnt
75. fallen for a friend - mmm lmao
do you believe in
76. yourself - yes i have to push myself tho like its just me and myself fighting all the time but yeah ultimately i do
77. miracles - yes like i really do after like me n my best friend almost got caught smoking we*ed in her house and like her mom came home early from a trip and like i really thought we were gonna die that day but im smart and lit a candle so like idk how she didnt smell it but like after that day i believe in miracles i do
78. love at first sight - yeah but like only in fiction like irl it’s lust at first sight
79. santa clause - yes i love her
80. kiss on a first date - yeh if im into it
81. angels - by the xx, gr8 song
other
82. best friend’s name - she dont have a tumblr
83. eye colour - dark brown
84. fave movie - silver linings playbook, prisoner of azkaban, and the polar express i said what i said
85. fave actor - anna kendrick and emma watson and like katie and evelyne
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Stand By Me | Dominer
Who: @dominicjamesjones, @skypucks, & @pfabray
When: Friday, January 12th 2018
Where: Dom’s place
Notes: Parker goes to Dom’s place confronts him on why he has been distant and she gets heartbreaking news.
Triggers: Death, Alcohol.
Skylar knew that today was important for her to be there for her friend. Granted she didn't feel right about being there, like she didn't feel right be there a year ago. She placed the empty bottles on his counter and walked back into the living room where she came from "Im gonna go, I didn't find anyone to cover my shift, but obviously there's water in your fridge." She said as she fixed her hair as she looked at her friend. "Are you going to be okay if I leave? If not, I can text Parker and Im sure she'll be over here in two seconds."
Dom had been drinking a little bit but wasnt completely wasted, at least not like the night before. Today was a hard day and he wished he could just fast forward it all. He didn't want to feel it anymore. That loss the day his grandpa died. He was sitting on the couch and the one person that he called but shouldnt have was Skylar. She was the only one that understood. She was there that night when he got the call from his mother. He didn't even get to say goodbye. "It's fine" he shook his head. "You can go if you want I'll be fine" he stood up and felt dizzy a bit. "I'll walk you out." he said nodded towards the front door of his new house. Dom blinked slowly and he moved towards the door. "Thank you." he spoke. "For being here. I'm sorry I'm a mess."
Skylar slowly nodded. "Alright." She said softly and watched him stood up. "You dont have to, its fine." She followed him towards the door and stopped as she looked at him. "Not a problem, we're friends now right? Nah, no need to apologize. Really, you're allowed to grieve and work through your grief." She gave him a small smile before she gave him a hug. "Now, call that girl of yours." She gave him a knowing look and opened up the door. She started to walk and stopped before she turned to face him. "I mean it Dom. She needs to know."
Dom hugged her back briefly and he walked her outside. "I know I know. I'll tell her." He nodded. Dom paused as they were outside and he leaned over and pulled her into another hug. "Thanks again. I just..needed someone you know." He watched her leave and as he walked back inside he got his phone out to text Parker. -hey, so i need to talk to you about that thing that I told you i wanted to talk to you about. can you come over?- He pressed send and starred at his phone waiting for a response.
Parker was glad that Avery's regular babysitter was able to watch her, since she couldn't help but think about what was going on with Dom. She didn't want Avery to worry about her. She slipped her hands into her dress pockets as she paced back and forth, waiting to hear something from him since he ghosted, kind of anyways. "Fuck it." She grabbed her keys, grabbed her phone and headed over to his new place. She made sure that her door was locked and headed over to his place. Parker felt her heart dropped when she saw Skylar leaving his place and hid some bushes when she saw him outside with her. Was it the thing he wanted to talk to her about? She couldn't believe this was happening, nothing was making any sense. She poked her head above the bush and saw him pulled her into a hug. No, no. This was insane. She felt her phone vibrate a bit later and pulled it out. She stood up once she knew that Skylar was gone and headed up to his front door. -I'm at the front door.- She pressed sent, pocketed her phone and felt her blood boiling.
Dom sat up straight on the couch when Parker texted back so quickly. That was fast. He frowned and then went to the front door. He was a little tipsy but not drunk drunk. Not like she's seem him before. He opened the door and smiled. "Hi" he said. "What did you do run over here?" he asked a little sad chuckle came from his lips. He let her inside. "I'm sorry its still a mess. I havent had the motivation to unpack just yet" Dom wasn't in his usual chipper mood and for good reason. But Parker seemed upset maybe? "Is everything okay?" he asked.
Parker took a couple of breaths as she tried to control her emotions and looked up when she heard him open up the door. "Hi." She said softly and shook her head. "No, I was actually on my way over here." She looked at him, knowing that he was tispy and swallowed hard when she heard the chuckle. She shut the door behind her then moved into the living room, liking the place better than her own and closed her eyes. "No, um. I need to know if Skylar and you are back together because I refuse to be that girl who had high hopes of us getting back together when apparently she's over here and how much have you drink? Because if you're going to be drinking again, then Avery's not going over here until you're sober a.and I wont be with you if you're heavily drinking again and." She rolled her eyes at herself since her nerves got the best of her.
Dom frowned. "What?" he was so confused and Parker seemed so upset. He knew that telling her what he wanted to know was going to break her heart. "Im sorry, I'm sorry" he walked towards he and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not with Skylar. I'll explain okay. Just let me explain. I had a couple drinks I know I'm sorry. I just...today is a hard day." he couldn't help it when the tears started to fall from his eyes. He shook his head and sat down on the couch. "I don't want to tell you. Because I don't want you to feel the way I'm feeling right now and how I felt this way last year." he was almost balling now. "You might want to sit down" he said as he looked up at her.
Parker looked at him before she let out a breath and rested her head. "Thank god or I mightve done something stupid. Im sorry, Im sorry." She said. She looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks, making her on the verge of tears and wiped them from his cheeks. "Baby, what's going on." She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "Hey, whatever it is, we can work through it together as a team." Her head was spinning in all kinds of different directions now.
Dom shook his head. "I shouldve told you last year. But we werent in a good place and I didn't know how. I didn't want to break your heart again. I just couldnt." he swallowed thickly. "Grandpa passed away last year. Exactly one year ago today." He looked at her and he started to cry again. "Im sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't." he shook his head. "Skylar was with me when I found out. We were trying to be friends. Like actual friends and this whole week when the anniversary was coming up I panicked and she came over. We're jsut friends kinda of...not really. It doesnt matter though and I'm just so sorry."
Parker furrowed her eyebrows again as she rubbed his arm and stopped when she heard that grandpa passed away. "No." She said as she stood up, taking a deep breath and started to cry as she walked away from him. "No, not grandpa. H-How?" She swallowed hard as she tried to focus on him and sat down as she couldnt focus on him anymore. Her grandpa, the one family member who adopted her into the family. The other person she wanted to see while they were in Ohio, was gone. She buried her face in her hands as she bawled, feeling heartbroken and wasn't for sure what to feel. Between hearing that grandpa Jones was gone, the fact that Skylar was with him when he found out and the fact that she had been with him this whole week. She wasn't only grieving one death and heartbroken because of losing grandpa jones, but she was heartbroken to learn that Dom had kept this from her and had his ex there instead of her. The supposed be the love of his life, the mother of his child. "I-I don't care, you should've told me that he was gone, Dominic. I would've been there despite being in a bad place, not her." She looked up at him. "H-He was my grandpa too a..and now he's never going to meet his great granddaughter because of me and how selfish I was when it came to keeping her a secret from you guys." She let out a shaky breath as she rubbed her hands on her shorts and sniffed as she gotten up. "Do you have anymore alcohol?"
Dom hated to see her cry because it made him cry in return. He shook his head. "I know I know I should have. I'm sorry Parks. I'm so sorry" He frowned and shook his head. "You did what you thought was best and I should have told you. I didn't want to hurt you again. I didn't mean for Skylar to be there. I didn't want her to be there but she was and I can't change that. I can't change any of this and I just...I'm sorry." he took a deep breath and looked up at her as she stood. "Yeah in the kitchen." he said.
Parker "No, I didn't. Its obvious I didn't. Between two years ago and now, I didn't make the right choice." Parker said as she looked at him and shook her head before she let out a bitter chuckle. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever she could find and took a swig of it. It had been years since she had straight alcohol, but she needed it. She spotted some whiskey, drank some and put the lid on it as she swallowed it. She could feel herself kind of tispy, but she wanted more. More to numb the pain. She grabbed the bottle, sat down in front of the couch and took the cap off of it before she took a drink from the bottle.
Dom watched her walk off to the kitchen and when she came back he looked over at her. They sat on the couch in silence for a long time. It felt like forever. He reached over to hold her free hand. He said silent not really knowing what to say. What could you say at a moment like this? He already apologized and explain. He felt horrible. He didn't want her to feel the same and here she was drinking on his couch, a place he never thought she would be.
Parker sniffed as she licked the whiskey from her lips and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand that held the bottle to get the rest of it off of her lips. "Was the funeral nice?" She finally asked softly as she looked at him and looked back ahead after she put the cap back onto the bottle. "I take it that she went with you there too?" She shouldnt be like this, but she was distraught, heartbroken and not knowing what else to say.
Dom frowned. "I wouldn't know. I didn't go" he said looking down at his lap and away from her. He couldnt look back at her and see the hurt in her eyes. "This week was the first time I talked to Skylar since last year.. Is that what you are really upset about here? That she was there and not you?" he asked finally looking over at her and shaking his head.
Parker glanced over at him and pulled her hand out of his hand before she placed the cap onto the bottle. "I honestly don't give a damn about Skylar now. I was a little upset at the fact that she was there and not me, but right now Im really upset at the fact that you didn't tell me that grandpa jones passed away when it happened. Im really upset at the fact that you chose to keep that information from me and I get that why, because you're in the grieving process and sure we were in a bad place, but I would've put that to the side to be there for you because I knew how much he meant to you and to your family." She swallowed some as she looked at him. "You didn't want to open up to me right away and wanted to wait to tell me. I get that, I do but dom. We're trying to be a couple again but we can't when one of us closes the other one off." She placed the bottle onto the floor and looked at him. "Your issues are my issues, your problems are mine. Your loses are mine." She swallowed hard as she studied him and shook her head. "We cant be Dom and Parks if we don't tell each other things. If we don't then we're going to end back in the place when we broke up the first time. And I am glad that she was there for you, because at least one of us were and is there for you."
Dom shook his head. “Really because it seems like oh do when you’re passive aggressive with me about her.” Dom stood up. “I told you why I didn’t tell you and yeah maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but you have no right to blame me for not telling you when you kept a big ass secret from me for two years. It’s just as worse and hypocritical.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to fight with you today parker. Not today. I just can’t. I’m sorry and I’ll say sorry over and over again as much as you want me to but I can’t change it.” He had so much more that he wanted to say but he just couldn’t. It was exhausted and felt like before they broke up when they fought all the time. He looked at the floor. “I’m sorry,” He said quietly with sadness in his voice. He could feel himself starting to cry again.
Parker shook her head when he apologize. "No, don't be. You have a point. Im the one who should be sorry." She whispered after she let everything that he had said settled in and sat away from him. She wasn't for sure what else to say, so she stood up, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and placed it on the counter. She quietly found a box that was marked glasses, grabbed two and filled them with water after she washed them. She placed a glass for him in front of him and sat down where she was at and placed her glass next to her. "I think you should stay with Avery and I, I don't want you staying here by yourself. If you want, that is. Im not going to force you to stay with me though. I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in the bed."
Dom took the glass from her and he took a big gulp. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his head. “Okay.” He agreed. “No it’s okay I don’t want to be alone tonight.” He moved behind the couch and put his hand on her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll pack a bag.”
Parker nodded. "Okay." She spoke softly. She closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her shoulder and bit down on her bottom lip as she stopped a sob from escaping. She nodded again as she grabbed her water, took a drink, placed it next to her and pulled her knees close to her chest. She let out a shaky breath as she placed her hands on the back of her neck and rested her forehead against her knees. She knew that they would be back where they were because of her and they didn't that. Especially when there was their daughter now.
Dom went to his bedroom and packed a small bag of clothes. He moved back out to the living room seeing parker crawled up in a little ball. He frowned and moved quickly beside her. “Parks.” He said her name and pulled her into a tight hug. “Come here.” He spoke.
Parker wrapped her arms around him and stuffed her face into the crook of his neck. "Im so sorry." She whispered, knowing that she had a plan to take their family to visit grandpa Jones now.
Dom held her close and rubbed her arm reassuringly. “It’s ok” He whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” He held her close for a while and pulled away slowly. He looked at her and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry too.”
Parker felt him rubbed her arm and let out a shaky breath. She sniffed as she nodded against him, wiped away some of the tears before she looked at him and shook her head. "You dont have to be sorry." She gave him a small smile and looked at him.
Dom looked down at her and he nodded. "Yeah I do" he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "Who's watching Avery right now?" he asked. He didn't want to walk in all crying and stuff with some babysitter he didn't know.
Parker shook her head. "No because you had a point." She whispered as she closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and rested her head on his shoulder. "Her regular babysitter, Monica that watches her during the week and she's over there at her house." She swallowed some as she let out a breath.
Dom nodded. "You wanna get into bed and just watch movies all night and get a big tub of ice cream?" he asked. "Like we used to? Order pizza then?" he asked. Dom wanted to distract himself from the day. And he knew she probably needed it as well.
Parker sniffed as she nodded and stayed close to him. "Yeah and I'll tell Monica that Avery can stay there tonight. She has a daughter who's Avery's age and I don't want her to see us like this. Not yet." She closed her eyes as she licked her lips and listened to his heartbeat.
Dom nodded. "Yeah me either." he took a break. "You wanna just stay here for a little while then" he said as he kept her in his arms. He didn't want to let go. Ever. He wished he could keep her safe and stop all the hurting she was feeling right now because he knew how it felt. He was feeling it too.
Parker "Yes please." Parker replied as she rubbed his arm the best she could do and closed her eyes. She stayed quiet for a while before she opened up her eyes and looked around the best she could. "By the way, when we do order pizza, you're gonna answer the door."
Dom nodded. "i can do that." he smiled. "Lets go back over to your place yeah?" he asked. Dom stood up and he reached out his hand for her to take. He helped her up and kept her hand in his as he picked up his overnight bag. He walked out the front door with her and they walked down the road hand and hand towards Parker's.
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92 Truths
Thanks for the tag @detectivesmuttycarisi :)
Last...
Drink- One of the sparkling Izzie drinks at Starbucks
Phone Call- To my dad to pick me up from Barnes and Noble
Song you listened to- Love on Top by Beyonce ( a bop)
Time you cried- last night!! so much fun!!
Have You Ever ___?
Dated someone twice- When I was younger, I used to “date” this boy during the school year, and break up with over the summer. This happened multiple times.
Been cheated on- Nope, never had the opportunity to have that happen.
Kissed someone and regretted it- YUPP! spin the bottle only leads to regret and almost contracting mono.
Lost someone special- Sadly yes, I only have my grandparents on my mom’s side left.
Been Depressed- too many times, almost my constant state
Been drunk and thrown up- I’ve only had sips of achocol, I’m pure.
In The Past Year Have You...
Made a new friend- Yup all of my tumblr friends and I moved so all the people at my new school.
Fallen out of love- Yupp, it’s an amazing thing when the feeling is not reciprocated.
Laughed until you cried- last night and this morning
Met someone that changed you- no, but I would like to meet the people who have changed me.
Found out who your true friends are- Definitely, out of sight, out of mind is a real thing.
Found out someone was talking about you- Yah! apparently I gave like two boys and myself mono! fun times!
General
How many people on tumblr do you know in real life? - none, but I would love to meet them.
Do you have any pets?- Yes! i have a shizh zu named Chanel who doesnt really like me, but lowkey loves me. shes the cutest!
Do you want to change your name?- No, I’ve grown to love the unquieness of my name, even if no one can pronounce or spell it.
What time did you wake up this morning?- like 10ish am, which is surprising because I did not go to sleep until 4 am.
What were you doing last night?- literally avoiding sleep, watching raul kill it in chitty chitty bang bang, and talking to my best friend about deep shit.
Name something you cannot wait for- Warmer weather, the criminal justice class I’m taking next year, and my trip to Washington DC, my happy place!
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?- A boy named tommy was deeply in love with me in elementary school and everyone teased me about it. so yeah we talked a few times.
What’s getting on your nerves right now?- my own procasination. just finish writing already!
Blood Type- My mom tells me like once a year and I always forget.
Nickname- Raine, Rainy, Dora, A.G(Academic Gangta), Little Thing Thing, or just simply D!
Relationship status- mentally dating all of my favs
Zodiac- Sagitarius ( i think that’s how its spelled, too lazy to check)
Pronouns- she/her
Favorite Show- SVU or Criminal Minds owns my ass!
College- Hopefully Ivy League when I get there!
Hair color- dark brown, like basically black
Do you have a crush on someone?- no one that I know in real life, but all of my favs could get it!
What do you like about yourself?- my personality and that I can outwrite most of the people my age if I really wanted to.
Firsts
Surgery- I have yet to have one, yayay
Piercing- when I was like one, I got my ears pierced but like waste of time because I despise earrrings.
Sport you joined- Dance, when I was two and then on and off after that, i did cheerleading once
Vacation- I’ve been to every themepark, museum,and childlike thing on the east coast, but I remember like half of them. The first one I remember is Disney World. Thanks Mom and Dad for the cool childhood, still fucked up somehow though!
Pair of sneaker- IDK! probably something cool because my mom is super into shoes.
Right Now
Eating- Nothing but im going to eat quinoa and boiled eggs later.
Drinking- Water like always
I’m about to - bother my father, my favorite pastime aside from ignoring all of my writing projects and responsiblitys!
Listening to- Sauce It Up by Lil Uzi Vert ( it helps me get hyped and focused because its just gibberish)
Want Kids?- like three
Get married?- If it happens then it just happens*shrug*
Career- Student but hopefully in the future a succesful prosecutor (just putting it in the atmosphere)
Which Is Better?
Lips or eyes- Eyes
Hugs or kisses- both
Shorter or taller- taller
Romantic or spontaneous- romantic
Sensitive or loud- sensitive
Hook up or relationship- havent had either, but a relationship in theory
Troublemaker or hesitant- hesitant
Have You Ever...
Kissed a stranger- yes
Drank hard liquor- nope
Lost contacts or glasses- yes like once for like two weeks, but like everyday I lose my glasses. it sucks
Sex on a first date- my virginity is screaming no
Broken someone’s heart- my own multiple times
Been arrested- nope, but if my state police stepdad sees me walking he talks to me over the walkie like im in trouble.
Turned someone down- yeah, im desperate, but not that desperate
Fallen for a friend- yuppp, its fucked up
Do You Believe In ___?
Yourself- sometimes
Miracles- no
Love at first sight- nope
Heaven- no
Santa Claus- no, but my mom still likes to act like he bought me a bike this year
I tag @unleashthemidnight @ghostofachancewithyou @dan-is-snot-on-fiyah
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66 truths
I was tagged my @taemates and @hobikookie to do the 66 truths tag
rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 66 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged.
LAST:
drink: Strawberry black tea from Gong Cha phone call: it was my mom and it was 8 days ago asjkdghkjg text message: my friend parisa whom i love a lot song you listened to: does playing Boy In Luv on SSBTS count lol time you cried: it was Wednesday, January 31st from like 1-4am because i was reading this fic
HAVE YOU EVER:
dated someone twice: no been cheated on: no kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed?: yes been drunk and thrown up: yes because im allergic 😭
IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
made a new friend: yes!! fallen out of love: mhm laughed until you cried: yes met someone who changed you: for sure found out who your true friends are: eh found out someone was talking about you: no?
GENERAL:
how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: one do you have any pets?: no but for like a week we kept a spider in a jar in the living room do you want to change your name?: nah to much work what time did you wake up this morning: like 11 ish? what were you doing last night: studying for my exam tomorrow and also starting a jungkook painting name something you cannot wait for: the day i have an established career, a nice house that i share with the love of my life, some dogs, and free time to do the things i love have you ever talked to a person named tom?: yes what’s getting on your nerves right now: um a lot of little things blood type: idk tbh nickname: kiwi, A relationship status: sad zodiac sign: aries pronouns: she/her favorite show: The Good Place college: suffering in it right now hair color: black at the top and like a mauvey, plummy, corally color at the ends do you have a crush on someone: kind of?? like sometimes ill be like yes i like u but sometimes ill be like ur trash all boys are trash??? what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhh
FIRSTS:
first surgery: wisdom teeth like 1.5 years ago first piercing: my primary lobes first sport you joined: archery but i quit like a day later bc i couldn't stand the ppl on the team first vacation: i think it was victoria, canada?? first pair of sneakers: i dont remember
RIGHT NOW
eating: nothing but i had a strawberry ice cream bar earlier drinking: nothing i’m about to: shower listening to: nothing want kids: uhhhhhh no get married: hopefully?? career: engineer hopefully
WHICH IS BETTER:
lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: kisses shorter or taller: taller (but p much everyone is tall than me bc im short) older or younger: older romantic or spontaneous: por que no los dos? sensitive or loud: sensitive hookup or relationship: depends on the person troublemaker or hesitant: a balance of both
HAVE YOU EVER:
kissed a stranger: no drank hard liquor: its the only kind ive drank kshkh lost contacts/glasses: yeah i havent been able to find my glasses for like 2 years sex on first date: no broken someone’s heart: i dont think so?? been arrested: no turned someone down: yes fallen for a friend: ye
DO YOU BELIEVE:
in yourself: sometimes miracles: sometimes love at first sight: sometimes
idk who to tag so whoever wants to do it just do it and say i tagged u
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