#i haven't slept so i don't trust my own coherence here asdjksfdg

[septembersghost]

Hi I have a question for you if you don’t mind, can you please tell me what your thoughts are on famine not able to affect Dean? And if you please can put it in the tags so I will be able to find it. But if you don’t wanna talk about no problem sorry to bother you. I’m just having a hard time understanding why he not hungry for anything. Thanks

you’re not a bother at all (and I never mind talking about my boy)! I know there’s been a lot of examination and meta written about this over the past decade, probably much more in-depth and better than what I can even give you right now, and of course there are very different interpretations of what it means, as well (you’re watching Supernatural), but I’m going to tell you the way that I’ve always perceived it, and hope it helps! (apologies ahead of time if I get anything wrong, I just saw S5 in December and my memory should be sharper than this, but I don't trust my foggy brain.)

the first three Horsemen we meet have very simplistic views of humanity. (Death does not to the same extent, because Death is very different from his brethren, as Death is not inherently malicious, in the way that War/Famine/Pestilence are. the others are plagues, Death merely is, as death is an aspect of life). they mentally and physically have the power to affect those around them, but they can’t truly grasp what makes people unique, what makes people tick. thus when we see Famine, he’s triggered what are mainly base instincts - cravings and enticements, which we see exhibited primarily as sex and food (and, in Sam’s case, addiction - demon’s blood). an unquenchable desire for things that people have been denying themselves.

Dean tells us, very straightforwardly:

“Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight.”

Dean doesn’t intentionally deprive himself of those basic needs (the kids we see in lust and then attacking each other have been “waiting,” Cas doesn’t need to eat but Jimmy’s vessel suddenly is ravenous for meat, Sam is forced into seeking a high with the additional dangerous power we understand that gives him), so Dean tells Cas he’s not well-adjusted, but rather “well-fed.” and then Famine has that infamous speech.

FAMINE: “How you could even walk in my presence?”

DEAN: “Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.”

FAMINE: “I disagree. Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.”

DEAN: “Oh, you're so full of crap.”

FAMINE: “Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already dead.”

now, personally I believe this is an oversimplification of the situation, but Famine can’t comprehend what Dean has been through or why he’s struggling. keep in mind this is the latter half of S5. Dean’s barely even a year past hell (that's if there was a September in between, otherwise it would be much less than that. the timeline in SPN was a bit elastic). the torture, the suffering, the trauma of that is still weighing heavily on him. the guilt of it, the horror of breaking the first seal. the knowledge of being the Michael sword, the perfect vessel. he has gone through unfathomable torment and is deeply depressed - a theme that continues through to him being essentially suicidal until Sam’s belief in him and his own defiance breaks through in Point of No Return. he’s feeling helpless and hopeless in their effort to stop the apocalypse, and the fight keeps getting harder. his own ethos of having choices and going down swinging is starting to seem hollow, and there’s something in him that’s fractured, that has been since he came back from hell, when the pain was so unbearable that he wished he couldn't feel anything at all.

there have been people who’ve posited that he craves numbness, oblivion, at this point, and I don’t perceive it that way, either - it’s that what he craves is not physical, so Famine has no ability to impact it. Famine can’t provide him hope, or faith, or safety, or love. Famine can’t give him healing or ease his depression/ptsd. Famine can’t fix things and suddenly make everything with Sam right, or put Lucifer back in his cage. anything Dean wants at that point in time is untouchable. what Famine sees as a hole of nothingness, as him being dead inside, is grief and longing that can’t be easily mended or fulfilled. Dean is exhausted and desperate for a relief that can’t be found in a burger or a bed. keep in mind that Dark Side of the Moon is only two episodes later, and we see the remnants of hope he has there that God might give a damn about what’s happening to them burn out:

DEAN: “So he’s just going to sit back and watch the world burn?”

JOSHUA: “I know how important this was to you, Dean. I’m sorry."

DEAN: “Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right? I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.”

JOSHUA: “Except… you don’t know if you can, this time. You can’t kill the Devil, and you’re losing faith, in yourself, your brother, and now this?”

Sam looks at Dean. He’s realizing just how desperate and depressed Dean really is.

JOSHUA: “God was your last hope. I just… I wish I could tell you something different.”

Famine can’t connect him to God, either - there’s nothing Famine can wield against him.

Dean also struggles repeatedly with a loss of agency, long before hell (from the moment he carries Sam out of the fire, this exists), but certainly persisting in a much more suffocating way afterwards, and at the point of My Bloody Valentine, he’s having to consider playing puppet for heaven, giving himself over bodily to an archangel. imagine the scope of that after having been relentlessly tortured in hell, realizing that yet again your body isn’t your own, what’s inflicted upon you may be beyond your control in ways that will be awash with blood (the potential death of millions of innocents in the apocalypse, in this case, something that is anathema to who Dean is, considering four episodes earlier, when asked, “is there a quota? how many people do you have to save?” he replies, “all of them.”). that blackness may feel like an empty space to Famine, but it’s actually a vastness, full of hurt and sublimation and longing. it’s far from the fact that he’s “already dead” - the depth of that depression and those psychological scars certainly can feel like endless nothingness, but we see that it isn’t when Dean reignites his courage and will in the beautiful room with Zachariah. the resilience of Dean’s heart is always so much more than even he often realizes, but he has to get to a place where he’s able to hold onto that inner capacity again.

tl;dr basically, Dean IS hungry, but his hunger isn’t of the body, it’s of the soul, and due to what Dean has specifically experienced, that’s too delicate and too far beyond the comprehension of a being like Famine, who can recognize the soul, but is unable to understand the way Dean's human reactions like guilt and compassion are affecting him, and this leaves him beyond reach.