#i haven't read the manga in forever but i did get to this part and a big chunk afterward tbh

[roombagreyjoy]

I MISSED HIM SO MUCH <3 PRETTY BOY

[the-bloody-sadist]

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

[zetsubo-bani]

Scenes/characters I expect to see after blue revenge arc

Just to clarify, with blue revenge arc I'm referring to this mission arc we currently have. I doubt r!ciel will be defeated after the missions are over so I will probably give it a different name whatever follows after we've seen o!ciel and sebastian at the hotel.

For obvious reasons I will exclude o!ciel and sebastian, they are literally the protagonists, ofc we will see them again. Undertaker and r!ciel will also be excluded since they are the major antagonists right now and will also definitely appear again.

So let's begin:

1. An interrogation scene between layla and the reapers

Remember that layla got captured by ronald and william? I definitely expect layla to make a return once she arrived in the shinigami corp. I'm not sure if I expect ronald to be there but william definitely will be and I can also see grell and othello watching since we haven't seen the two in quite a while

2. Another interrogation scene in scotland yard headquarters

Blavat got arrested and was supposed to be put into prison and later appear in court alongsides o!ciel but since he and sebastian already escaped, blavat is the only one in prison. Considering scotland yard just freshly captured blavat, an interrogation about his motives is to be expected

3. Some focus on the midfords

Lizzy is included as well (but that was the best picture I found). They obviously need to deal with the whole drama themselves and I definitely expect them to reappear and talk to each other about what they think about the twins drama and lizzys depression

4. Sieglinde and wolfram with their research and planning

Sieglinde still has the blood samples from the sphere music hall and surely must have read what happened in the newspaper. I don't think she will just sit by and do nothing for the rest of the manga, I'm certain they will appear again somehow

5. A reunion between the servants, lau and ran mao

Sebastian and o!ciel will probably be there too (or not depending on their mission) but I do expect those 5 to see each other again and exchange how their missions went. I think that's where they will find out that snake died

6. The queen and her servants

Girlie has been awfully quiet since the twin reveal and I wonder when she will appear again. R!ciel mentioned needing to hold a audience with her but being too weak right now so who knows when she will appear again. I do think it will happen somehow

7. The p4 reuniting

I don't think we will get something too big but I definitely think they will appear again. They were part of the sphere music hall so the police was on the lookout for them anyways. I do expect them to appear again and talk to violet since we haven't seen them reunite after blavat nearly killed violet

8. Soma focus (?)

Now I wasn't sure if I should include him since I'm pretty certain he will be in the hotel that o!ciel and sebastian will visit next. But if he isn't in the hotel then he will definitely still appear afterwards. That man can not completely dip after agni died and he still falsely believes it was o!ciel

9. Tanaka (maybe with the servants?)

Tanaka is still with r!ciel and undertaker but we haven't seen him in a good while. I do think we will see him again once yana finally shows r!ciel again. I theorize that maybe we will see some reunion between the servants and tanaka but that's probably something I just really want to see. I doubt tanaka will leave r!ciels side since he did say that he's forever serving the head/heir of phantomhive and o!ciel wasn't supposed to be

10. Some flashback with vincent

That smug bastard will appear, I know it. I'm pretty sure he must have done something to end up dead so I think we will get a focus on him in a potential flashback from r!ciel. Afterall since r! ciel was raised to be the heir, I'm certain he spent more time with vincent than o!ciel did and probably did catch a few things here and there. Maybe that would explain why r!ciel caught onto the fact that something was off much quicker than o!ciel did

That was my little theory on who/what I think will appear/happen in the next arc after the missions. Hope you liked it!

If you have any corrections, additional thoughts or agree with anything, please let me know!

[livingthedragonlife]

i make good playlists too sometimes. listen to it maybe?

explanations for why i chose the songs under the cut because i miss 8tracks. BIG HUGE SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t read/finished the manga!!!

Pure Love by Mother Mother — I always liked this song as a comforting presence but you could also read it as a sinister one. Definitely leaning into the sinister version here. I was also thinking of the innocent beginnings of the Winged Lion, just a little speck granting tiny desires before it was drawn "like a moth to a flame" to bigger ones. And the rest is history.

Remain Nameless by Florence + the Machine —

But know I'll always be around This can remain the same

Call me when you need me Call me anything you want Darling, believe me Nothing I haven't done before

The King by Anjimile — This one just gives me the vibes of how the power of being a dungeon lord drives everyone insane.

The Cage by Vera Sola — Deeply Mithrun

Under A Dome by Of Monsters and Men —

I'm taking over my own throne I’m holding my heart and it's overgrown I'm kicking out and I’m full of life So why should I cry over northern lights? And it's over now and I'm falling

It Will Come Back by Hozier — This WHOLLEE song is just. The Winged Lion in a nutshell. It's the entire premise.

Thousand Eyes by Of Monsters and Men — The dungeon lords can see through all their monster servants. A thousand of them even

Everybody Wants to Rule The World by Lorde — "uh oh shit is getting real"

Moderation by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion having absolutely no chill

Never Pleased by Portugal. The Man —

No I'm not Jesus but I'm more than a man I'll never grow old or lonely or sad Still I'm never pleased I'm never pleased

From the corners until I wake up walking as careful can be Careful to miss out on all that I see I'm never pleased

Tethered to the Dark by Anya Marina — The way the Winged Lion can manipulate you in fucked up ways you didn't even know were possible

Dangerous by Son Lux —

Are you dangerous? Carved right into my bed Quick lobotomy Then left me for dead

Mr. Lonely (feat. Fat Lip) by Portugal. The Man — Ultimately, being a dungeon lord leaves you alone and obsessed and with ultimate power that you don't even have full control over.

Forever by Mother Mother — Marcille's motivation but also the Winged Lion's? Marcille essentially never wants to see anyone her loves die ever again, and the Winged Lion wants to feast on desires forever. Unfortunately, entropy.

Guilty Filthy Soul by AWOLNATION — The Winged Lion doing some more crazy manipulation.

Propaganda by Muse — Obviously the dungeon lords are taken in by the Winged Lion's "propaganda," it "eats souls," it "toys with the truth." BUT!! Mortal desire is also something the Winged Lion "can't refuse." It's convinced by its own lies. Did I just blow your mind

Carnivorous by Band of Skulls — Eating yummy desires om nomnomnom

Little Monster by Royal Blood — The Winged Lion wants to eat Laios sooooo bad and this is a song about that.

Animals by Muse — LAIOS IS GONNA ENSURE HIS OWN SURVIVAL!!!!!!!!

Leave My Body by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion leaves its own body to steal Laios', for "one grand moment." Laios leaves his own body to be become a monster. But the Winged Lion loses a lot more than its mind in that arrangement! I feel like the "Your history keeps pulling me, pulling me down" part can be interpreted in this context as like... the history of life. Of survival. Finite resources, something the Winged Lion will never understand. Florence Welch did not intend for this to be what her song was about but I don't care it's blorbo time

[alicedash2]

Hello Alice 👋 it's me, the same person that request for whitebeard's biological daughter headcanons. If it's ok with you I would like to make the same request with whitebeard's biological daughter... but this time What if she has character traits similar to Phos from Houseki No Kuni... like she's at first, really weak and fragile but she tries to help anyway which leads her to get injured often. she's pretty self distructive but is oblivious from that fact. She always thinks of others before herself. But then as she grew older she started to experience some traumatic life events and she slowly started to change... the happy, playful girl that always insisted on helping them even though she's not physically capable to, slowly started to disappear... She's stronger now... Strong enough to be able to be of help... but she lost the light she once had...(If you haven't watched the show / read the manga then it's ok. You can ignore this request 👍)

Hello!! Yes, I saw the anime, is very good! (Sorry for that be short)

Whitebeard x Fragile!Daughter

YN was Whitebeard's daughter, happy, a little goofy and distracted, a probably ADHD, always wanting to do things that exceed her physical limit, which unfortunately is weak.

Whitebeard loved her, always laughed with his daughter and had fun with her, but always scolded her when she did something that could put her life at risk.

-Don't fight with them, YN!- said Whitebeard worried abouth he's daughter

-I-I can do it!-YN said, but she ended up failing to try to fight and ended up being protected by the others in the crew, in worse cases, she ends up very injured, her body was fragile and delicate, it was easily broken.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

-I told you, YN! Stop being stubborn!-Whitebeard spoke, while YN was sitting on her knees with a huge bump on her head that she received from the enemy

-I'm sorry...- YN said

-You could end up hurt, or worse, dead! Can you understand that you cannot fight under these circumstances?!- Whitebeard asked seriously

-yes, dad- YN said

-Never disobey me again!- Whitebeard say

YN have tears in she's eyes

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

But, once, YN went through a traumatic moment that forever changed her way of being (insert traumatic moment of your choice), YN started to leave her hobbies to stay in training, which helped her to have good physical strength, for Even though YN became stronger, his sweeter and gentler side disappeared, he became more distant from Whitebeard too, which made him worried, he wanted his daughter back, she became more introverted

-honey...- Whitebeard called her

-yes, dad?- YN asked, looking at him

-I know...I know you've been through bad times...but, I'd like to see you smile again-

-...father, I...I'm not a child, I'm part of your crew, in fact, I couldn't stay like that forever, because I was weak, I ended up hurting myself and others...I couldn't do it anymore , not like that - YN said holding the papers tightly

- Aren't you proud that I've gotten stronger, dad? - YN asked

-I'm very proud, YN, but being strong doesn't mean you have to sacrifice what's good for you, you know? I would like you to go back to your Hobbies, you can balance training with your Hobbies- Whitebeard said

YN sighs, as if she is tired of hearing that

- I'll reconsider - YN says before leaving and going to her room

YN was never the same again, everyone missed her laugh, as if she were dead, without light, her only light was gone, she blamed herself, but maybe someday, she will return to the way she was before

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hi Slug! If you've listened to the full songs in the new EP, have your opinions of the trailers changed? Also, the new dramas are HEAVY, so if you've listened to them, I'm curious to know what you thought of them. As always, thanks for the translations!

I like listening to Hypmic music on shuffle during workouts, so I've most of the new songs in full by now. I don't think my opinions have changed majorly. I really enjoy Black and White, and Move Your Body Till You Die is a phenomenal work of art.

As for the drama tracks... truth be told, I haven't even listened to the one that came out in April, so I'll read through some TLs now and record thoughts below the cut:

No One Lives Forever, translation courtesy of shinseimcd on Twitter

"Anti-Party of Words faction" Huh, like a government faction? I'm surprised the PoW allows other political parties or at the very least open dissenters. There was talk in some chapters of the manga of them punishing protesters, not to mention the way they crushed the TDD rebellion in its primacy. Either way, interesting, and I hope we learn more about this as time goes on.

Ichijiku and Nemu baking together is really cute lol

I love the way Ichijiku's whole personality shifts around Otome. Gap moe (????)

It's a cool tidbit that Nemu tends to prefer plainer outfits, as that tracks with how she dresses in TDD. Also, Nemu and Ichijiku shopping together is kind of bittersweet, since Ichijiku is clearly using Nemu as a replacement figure for her deceased sister...

Ichijiku secretly wanting to fall on the cute side of the cute/elegant spectrum is a pretty classic trope but a fun detail that's been hinted at already, since we've seen that she keeps a bow collection.

??? Rei's lab is on Battleship Island? Ohhhhhhhhh this is why Twitter was blowing up with controversy right after this track released... The IRL Battleship Island was home to forced labor of Korean and Chinese citizens during the twentieth-century push of Japanese imperialism which was later, iirc, denied in part or totally by the Japanese government to immense international backlash. Using this as a setpiece for Hypmic is oddly provocative, and I can't think why the writers would want to do that. On a much lighter note, this is also a headscratcher to me because isn't this a UNESCO World Heritage Site? The whole point of that is conservation, and I don't think building a clone lab counts as conservation... Unless they're implying the clone lab was built prior to the 1950s? Hm. Let's not go down this rabbit hole.

"I would like all of the True Hypnosis Mics. As well as all the Amemura clones." Oh? Are there more still alive? I thought Honobono ordered the death of the last remaining three... Well, that scraps a piece of writing I was working on LOL

"Your biometric data is required to access the mic storage facility" So how did the PoW get in?

Her? Heart stop beating? Oh for fuck's sake, is Rei's wife also in a coma? How many fucking characters are in a coma in this series... Whichever mfer invents a device that restores people from comas with no significant brain damage will make a fortune in this universe

"And I won't try anything funny." I do not believe this for one instant

Hmm, the framing of Otome planning this and the way she brushed past talk of countermeasures for the anti-PoW faction implies that Rei is heading this faction.

Oh, so they couldn't get past the biometric locks after all, I see.

I strongly dislike the idea of thirty clones for thirty mics and the nonchalance in which Rei goes, "Yeah, I'll ship them off to Chuuouku" like they're a parcel and not human beings, but that's my personal bone to pick w/ this character and setting.

I was intrigued by the notion of the PoW holding caucuses, implying there's some sort of democratic process in terms of choosing their own party members or positions, but the JPN audio doesn't specify that exactly.

"We no longer require the cooperation of Jakurai Jinguji." I know that this took like four years in real time, but in terms of the Hypmic universe... I mean, Jakurai didn't even do anything for them, did he? He went through all that moral dilemma for nothing, as far as I can tell. (I get that it sets up the reconciliation with Ramuda, but that's it? Seriously?) That's disappointing to roll it back so quickly.

"During the Division Rap Battle, the people of our nation will be focused on the tournament, giving us the opportunity to use the True Hypnosis Mics to mind hack the Anti-Party of Words faction who stand in our way, ultimately pulling them over to our side." Otome always has the most batshit plans. God bless. A consequence of her needing to drive the plot forward is that she'll say some of the truly silliest things I've ever heard. What a complete misappropriation of government funds lol. Also... is this stating there are only 30 dissidents (????), or can the True Hypmics brainwash more than one person at a time?

"Once that is complete, we will move on to other countries. And when we have taken over the world, then, in the true sense of the word, peace through the power of words will be achieved." LMAO? I'm sorry, this isn't very considerate of me, but in my initial impressions of this, I am well and truly gobsmacked. What in the actual fuck. How many clones will die for this? How much money will it cost? How does she think she stands any chance at governing so many people across such an area, even with a downsized population after WWIII? Homie... Never change, Hypmic, you are the wildest.

I can't believe Ichijiku is so whipped she's willing to go along with an absolutely nonsensical plan for world domination. Ma'am, Otome is not going to fuck you, and even if she is, it's not worth it! Ma'am!!! I'm sorry, I'm being petty and not giving this a lot of in-depth thought but LORD this is a trip on first read.

A FUCKING CLONE UPRISING AT THE HANDS OF REI? HAHAHAHAHA.

"World domination, huh, what a joke." Man after my own heart.

I'm actually quite interested in how this "mics are disabled forever" thing works. I guess the mics have a kill switch in them? I vaguely recall someone saying that in the manga years and years ago... Oh yeah, it was Ramuda in TDD 12. Huh, interesting if that was intentional foreshadowing (I'm not sure if I want to be that charitable). At any rate, can't everyone in the room just get new mics? Or does it affect their speakers and such too? I'm curious how that works, like if you build an affinity with a certain mic or some nonsense.

"looks like we won't be having any Division Rap Battles from here on out." Ah, and this is why the other half of Twitter was up in arms like "No more DRB??? End of Hypmic??" I guess.

The Block Party tracks are quite long, and since it's getting rather late for me, I'm going to leave off here for the moment. I'd like to continue this at my next available opportunity... WHAT a ride. Not sure when that will be, but I will add to this with a reblog when I can. And I know it's been months since this track came out, but I would love to hear other people's thoughts. I wasn't around much when it first launched, so I missed most of the commentary on it.

[robotlesbianjavert]

what would you say are horikoshi's biggest strengths as a writer and what are his greatest weaknesses?

ooh that's a really good question that i've had to think a lot about. it's difficult cuz while i've read his tenko oneshot and the original my hero oneshot, i haven't read his other two multi-chapter works (oumagadoki zoo and barrage) (though i have seen the raw scans of his other oneshot shinka rhapsody thanks to @codenamesazanka). boku no hero academia is obviously his work i'm most familiar with, and it's difficult to use mostly that as a metric for his skills overall.

on the other hand, bnha lasts for so much longer than his other works and is also so much more recent, so it's the main work that has to show off how growth or lack thereof as a writer, as well as his biggest challenges due to how punishing the manga industry can be and how it would have forced him into situations he may not have experienced with his past works. so in a way, bnha kind of has to be judged a biiit separately from the rest?

anyways with those caveats aside. his greatest strength is always and forever his art, which in manga is at least half of the writing. he has this special little touch with physicality and emotion that like. it's hard to describe how exactly it's different from other artists, who are also often great with physicality and emotion! but horikoshi's art often has that extra bit of weight to it that really sells it to me.

like i've said previously, i also think that he does have a knack for character writing that shines best when he's working with complicated, rough around the edges characters who aren't straightforward goody-two-shoes. shigaraki and bakugou i've already said are great examples of this. endeavour can get more difficult to talk about in this context due to the baggage around him, but i'd maintain that a lot of the series best writing does go to him, shouto, and the rest of the todoroki plotline (although it struggled a bit at the end there). twice, while ultimately a really nice guy, is still a very complicated criminal who gets theeeeee best development in the series. obviously there's toga, normal cute girl of all time.

a lot of that extends to horikoshi's affection for his minor/side characters as well. while i don't think he always nails it with integrating them into the story (fucking shouji. also vigilantes honestly did parts of this better), he does obviously put a lot of thought into them even when he doesn't get to use it. this is part of why i adore spinner so much, because he's that very typical minor side character who could easily be written out but instead gets a fleshed out and evocative role of his own.

i also think that horikoshi has a really strong instinct and potential for great horror/horrific material. again, this is where shigaraki proves himself horikoshi's best character - everything from his initial character design with the hands, the hints and insinuations about his backstory dropped over the first and second acts, all culminating in the beautifully gruesome shimura family massacre that just hits every single fuckin time. i honestly think it's one of the greatest payoffs in the series, basically bar none. (i know people try to give that title to the dabi reveal, but i keep getting taken out by how abrupt that particular instance is) it's the horror moments that make his art especially shine, he comes up with great scenarios, and honestly when he mentioned wanting to try his hand at a horror work after bnha i'm like, all in.

but that kind of segues into my biggest criticism of his writing - he holds back. he gets meek, he doesn't go all in. he had some interview where he admitted that the yakuza arc took a lot out of him because of how dark it got,

this extends to the entire series, especially in how the third arc has shaken out. deku and all might are really big victims of this, where there is absolutely a lot of complex development and criticism you can do with the way their characters are set up, but the story backs down from that to go "well maybe they're just. too heroic sometimes. self-sacrificing. that's an issue right." the 'dark deku' arc is a joke because while deku does extend himself beyond his limits, he never gets to the point of causing real harm to himself and those around him before class 1a swoops in.

i also have my conspiracy theories about hawks and how the fallout of his murdering twice was soooooo weak, where i think the popularity of hawks and his status as a hero scared horikoshi off of doing anything more critical with him, instead feeding that overwrought backstory as a distraction and giving the whole "government sponsored murderer who is wracked with guilt and bitter about the hypocrisy" to nagant. who again he didn't go hard enough with because then deku would have like, something outside of shigaraki to actually deal with. and would have to question the society that he's protecting. whatever.

he's also been so half-assed with the critique and deconstruction of hero society that he's set up, only to hastily and clumsily reconstruct it because superheroes are too cool to reeeaaaaaally say anything about, and also hero society has too many parallels with real life modern society, which might be awkward to critique in a youth magazine meant to satisfy as broad an audience as possible.

and then there's the heteromorph arc. goddamn the heteromorph arc. if you follow me you've probably read this but @stillness-in-green's conclusive write up of heteromorph discrimination as it's been laid out throughout the story and how that arc failed, which i think really signifies either the ways that horikoshi doesn't dig as deep into the concepts he brings up as he should, or doesn't realize how deep he needs to go with them.

i don't know if part of the way that horikoshi holds back or lands on the most boring resolutions for some of the ideas the story brings up is in part due to not wanting to rock the boat culturally, if he doesn't want to accidentally turn readers away after he's worked so hard to get to where he is now as a mangaka, or if it's the workload wearing him down, but it leaves the story half-formed.

i also think his other greatest weakness, which is a brutal one for shonen, is that he kind of fucking sucks at interesting fight scenes. like how much stuff ends with deku giving a big punch. it is my honest and greatest opinion that it should have been iida fighting muscular and uraraka fighting stain either alongside or in place of deku - their characters just had so much more to gain there. but i can also imagine all the fanboys who only care about power stats sneering and asking what iida and uraraka could have possibly done, which i think really speaks to a lack of creative thought not just in the fanbase, but in the writer. horikoshi can spin up all these cool and unique powers, but struggles to do anything really engaging with them. given that shonen fight scenes double as big character moments, it leaves a lot to be desired. big punches can only be inspiring so many times.

anyways. there's probably a lot more i can say. but that involves retreating more of the story than i am willing to do so right now. so alas.

[vial0fhope]

hi demi~

i just got an idea for a sukuita au based off of the manga angel sanctuary (spoilers coming if you haven't read it) ...

so what if sukuna and yuuji are brothers who were separated and only allowed to see each other a few times every year because their parents know that, from a young age, sukuna and yuuji had feelings for each other that completely transverse a normal sibling relationship.

yuuji is raised to be religious and always do his best to be good, popular at school and loved by everyone (bc he's so sweet and kind) while sukuna, though he's very smart, is the token problem child because he always takes his psychosexual feelings for yuuji (who he misses a lot) out on other people and his love for violence gets him into a lot of fights.

during one of the few times they can meet together, yuuji can't take denying his feelings anymore and wants to run away with sukuna, who is being a tsundere bitch only to keep yuuji safe and because he finds his own romantic attachment to yuuji monstrous. but eventually when yuuji's mom threatens to take him out of japan and away from sukuna forever, sukuna runs after yuuji and they both leave their normal lives behind so they can live together and "marry" each other unofficially.

but when yuuji tries to protect sukuna from an angel that attacks them one day, sukuna learns he's the reincarnated soul of the angel who rebelled against god and is stuck in a cycle of living and dying painfully, over and over, as punishment for his rebellion. and in this life, his punishment is only being able to love his brother yuuji and no one else.

yuuji ends up being killed by the angel and sent to hell for the sin of incest, and the soul of the fallen angel inside of sukuna reawakens and destroys almost all of japan, but he uses it to travel into hell and try to find yuuji again.

sukuna finds out yuuji is the guardian angel sent down to protect him from harm and recruits the help of his demon followers he sided with when he was the angel who rebelled to help him save yuuji and finally end the war against god.

it's basically just the premise of angel sanctuary but with sukuita lol.

This whole premise sounds so fucking good (and now i have a new manga to read, thanks honey ❤️)

Also, I apologize in advance. Words are hard rn for me, so if this comes out incoherently my bad!

But i really wanna talk about it bc the premise is incredible!

Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!! Yes to all of this! Sukuna being so emotionally blind just fucking up other people's lives becauze he's in love witj yuuji at a young age, and Yuuji just doing his best not to fuck it up for him or his brother (like they got seperated and that alone would fuck with the two of them)

Sukuna fighting in a WAR for yuuji omg he's is fighting to get back Yuuji omg he loves him so much i CANT

Poor Yuuji, boy got sent to incest jail in hell by the fucking religon cops LMAO everything about that makes my heart scream with joy!

Idk why, but Sukuna and Yuuji being caught in a bumble fuck over their past life's poor descision making skills is the funniest thing, because wdym past lifes will make you suffer? Also was the suffering worth it?

Sukuna's past life perspective? Yeah, no hesitation on his part.

Yuuji's tho? Yes, but he REALLY wishes religions wouldn't hold grudges that follow you after you die!

Not only that but what was their past life like? Were they on the run and forver content with that? Living a more nomadic style? Or did they eventually find somewhere to settlw down? Ooooooo so many ideas on that ALONE

Sorry for the ramble, relgion aus bring out the philosopher in me.

[innaillus]

Happy Birthday Taiju! P2

Me: "OMG Toji finally got animated--" Taiju: "You wanna repeat that?" Me: "Welcome home, honey. I did the dishes, the laundry, cleaned the house, watered the plants, fed the sharks, and cooked dinner. Let me take your jacket. Please have a seat. Here is your whiskey on the rock. I'll get the bath ready in the meantime." *Lights his cigar.*

(The playlist is private cause it has bad and embarrassing and very personal parts. I haven't pruned it yet LOL.)

(Minor spoilers and gushing ahead!)

I fell for his gains, then stayed for the character development. I love his character design, especially his face. I find him beautiful, not like a flower or an ikemen, but like a wild beast. And this just gets me... When reading the manga, I thought he had black and blond hair like Kazutora and at first it was weird to see the colored covers but then I fell for this palette too. The tattoos, especially the quote. The grin, the canines. The eyes. THE NOSE!?!?!?! PLEASE, HIS NOSE?!!?! *That* side profile in the restaurant scene was the real matchmaker, not even his beefy back and shoulders.

I love what a sinner he is, how lonely he is in the end. I love his intensity, his confidence, his strength. That he can stand up and change. (And also, thank you, Wakui-sensei, for not flipping his personality completely in his redemption...) I love that he is so capable, that he "made it" in life, without becoming a criminal. ALSO HIS NAME?!?!? EXCUSE ME?! The sound of it, and the characters too... please...

There is no other character I drew so many times and I still wish I could have done more. I want to do more. Bigger, better. He changed the way I draw forever. My passion for drawing him made me realise what I like to do the most and I developed my art style through drawing him. I struggled a lot with finding out what I wanna do and how. There are a million ways to do an artwork and I easily get lost in planning and not doing... But as long as it was him, it was fine, cause at least I was having fun. I wasn't anxious anymore. It wasn't like other characters I like, those who are super popular. I thought nobody liked him, so it was okay if I messed it up. But then people started to leave comments and share my stuff. And through drawing him, I realised I'm actually not that alone with this, or liking Tokyo Revengers.

Wow, this got deep. Eww, emotions. Sorry.

[ms-all-sunday]

wano is so wild, because (spoilers for wano if you havent seen it yet)

wano is like the breaking point i think of everybodys tolerance with how much sanjis jokes had been flanderized at that point that the bathing scene is like the most singularly awful thing you could do to sanji fans after whole cake island, which has the strongest writing for him all of post timeskip. wci felt like an acknowledgement of everything wrong with sanji as a character, in general, for the entirety of one piece. and in theory, if oda had gone the route of other characters who similarly have internalized conflict like usopp or robin, then it would've been fixed for the entirety of one piece forever and sanji wouldve tried to adjust. this however didn't happen, for whatever reason.

Toei did the adaptational change of having sanji say "sexual harassment is never allowed" during a scene in the manga that was a pervert joke I think? although i have only read the manga for that bit and haven't seen a side by side comparison. and i think in general that people don't know that that was an adaptational change by toei, because in general toeis adaptational changes (besides the big ones) go pretty unnoticed. and in egghead none of his jokes have been bad to my memory, so uh. maybe toei bribed oda because they had enough or something. go toei!

i think what oda misunderstands post ts is that despite wanting his post timeskip time to be plot focused and not as character focused as before is that when you reduce characters down to jokes whether invalid or valid to the core of their character, it means that the time you do dedicate to that characterization needs to be more efficient and impactful. it wasn't inherently a choice that meant "less characterization = the characterization degrades". which is a commonality in how he treats all of the strawhats post ts, not just sanji.

for example zoro is another character ive seen the complaint of getting flanderized and while i wouldn't use that term for him the way i would for sanji because i do think the serious nature of his characterization post TS is the way he'd react to the given situation I also think that its a choice to make to have him not react any other way to other things. there is a part of his character that is missing, you're right.

but theres also another factor which i think oda doesnt misunderstand but hes kind of trapped himself between a rock and a hard place in regards to and that is so the group dynamic in OP is the most important thing characterization wise and oda has given himself so many characters that the group dynamic has become unmanageable on his own.

like theres fundamentally a reason wci while sporting the best sanji characterization also sported the best nami characterization and arguably the best luffy characterization, and also you get my point. wci was i think odas full on attempt to do what he did pre ts while also remaining in the "more actiony" genre of shonen he's found himself in recently and it's just. wci is a mess. but it does easily have the best characterization for every strawhat in it post ts but it also would've definitely been way stronger if it had every east blue member at least.

but it's also like- ugh. shonen is such a weird genre. i think pre ts was able to straddle the line in regards to one pieces insane relationship to the genre at large but post TS is fairing way less amicably because of the type of shonen it aims to be (fundamentally different than pre TS' shonen) and I don't know entirely why post TS has the issues it does, i enjoy post TS, but i admit that unless something drastically changes in how odas attitude towards characterization goes, post TS will forever be in pre TS' shadow in regards to characterization and also storytelling more broadly. oda continues to be a character focused storyteller, no matter how much he wants that not to be the case. post TS does have better action for the most part the action part of shonen has now blended in completely, but people don't watch one piece for action. i think the reason people like the post TS side characters as much as people do, is that oda allows himself to be fully character focused when dealing with them, despite that being at the sacrifice the mcs characterization.

[eyedelater]

this important scene between koito, tsurumi, and tsukishima at goryokaku (chapter 295) was greatly changed in golden kamuy volume 30. the volume version is above. i decided to translate and then analyze it.

EH scans translated the magazine version of the manga as it was being released, so they haven't done this version, to my knowledge. and VIZ hasn't gotten this far in their official translation yet. so neither of my main sources have done it! that's why i'm translating these pages. i don't know if anyone else has translated this. if someone has, then you can look at their translation AND mine and compare them if you want. (and you can send me a link to their version.)

i want to show you the magazine version for comparison. this is the translation by EH scans:

you'll notice that the page count increased by two for the volume version. you'll also notice that the first and last pages haven't changed at all; i only included them for context because that's the whole scene.

while reading the raw manga, i had intended to check on one of the lines in this scene to see what it said in japanese and compare the translation. the line in question was the one where tsurumi talks about entrusting things to splendid koito. but that line is completely obliterated in the volume version, and i can't find the raw magazine version of this particular chapter, so i'll forget about that forever i guess. it doesn't matter because it's not canon anymore.

now, because i love koito and tsukishima so much, i went to the trouble of typesetting these pages with my own translation. so i'll include them here for your reading pleasure, and THEN i'll go ahead with the inevitable overanalysis in terms of translation and plot significance.

(i typeset it clumsily and also committed the vile typesetting sin of not using an all-caps font. but paint 3d didn't have any all-caps fonts, okay?? i'm very lazy! i'm not gonna go download a font just for this. also i didn't really need to do the first and last pages here because nothing changed and EH scans translated it just fine, but for the sake of completionism, i did them anyway.)

so that's my translation, and you can just read that and walk away if you want. but i'll write a lot more anyway.

line by line translation notes

in order of speech bubble, by page. a slash / indicates a split in a compound speech bubble. a double slash // indicates two separate speech bubbles in one entry. transliterations are rough and not based on any real standard of romaji.

PAGE 1

raw: 月寒あんぱんのひとがついた甘い嘘… transliteration: tsukisappu anpan no hito ga tsuita amai uso… EH scans translation: The tsukisappu anpan person ended up telling sweet lies... my translation: The sweet lies that the Tsukisappu anpan person told... notes: it's a sentence fragment. it makes you think there's going to be a second part to the sentence, but there's not. because there's not, to avoid confusing the reader, EH scans turned it into a full sentence. that's fair. my translation is more literal, so i didn't turn it into a full sentence, but it doesn't sound as good... i guess i didn't need to retranslate this one if it doesn't sound any better... let's move along.

PAGE 2

raw: あなたは嘘をつきすぎて / 嘘で試した人間の「愛」しか本物と思えないのでは? transliteration: anata ha uso wo tsukisugite / uso de tameshita ningen no [ai] shika honmono to omoenai no de ha? my translation: Haven't you lied so much / that you can only believe someone's [love] is real after you've tested them with lies? notes: "love" here is "ai" 愛. it's the same love that tsurumi talks about with his judo teacher when he talks about inspiring love among his soldiers so they will actually kill instead of pretending to kill. it is not "koi" 恋 romantic love, but it is love in the broadest sense.

raw: 鯉登少尉! transliteration: koito shoui! my translation: Second Lieutenant Koito! notes: no translation notes, but tsukishima's face did get slightly altered, and the speech bubble has wavery edges now, and dramatic motion lines were added. it's an emotional exclamation!!!

PAGE 3

raw: 中央から見ればここにいる者たちは全員 / 政権転覆を図る反乱分子です transliteration: chuuou kara mireba koko ni iru monotachi ha zen'in / seiken tenpuku wo hakaru hanran bunshi desu my translation: From Central's point of view, all of the people here / are insurgents plotting to overthrow the government. notes: seiken "political administration," tenpuku "overturn/overthrow," hakaru "to plan, to plot, to strive for," hanran "insurrection, rebellion," bunshi "member(s), element(s)." this isn't the first time we've heard the phrase "hanran bunshi." in chapter 78 (volume 8), shortly after tsukishima kicks him and then yells at him for killing maeyama, ogata uses the phrase to describe tsurumi's men. i think a fair translation of "hanran bunshi" would be "rebel faction."

raw: 勝てば官軍負ければ賊軍 / この戦でなにも得られなければ transliteration: kateba kangun makereba zokugun / kono ikusa de nanimo erarenakereba my translation: If you win, you're in the right. If you lose, you're in the wrong. / If we gain nothing from this battle… notes: the first line must be an existing saying, because when i searched zokugun on jisho.org, it brought up that first sentence word for word as one of its example sentences. so i made that the translation, word for word... you know, cos it's an existing saying... plus it's nice and concise...

raw: 我々は軍の裏切り者として裁かれる transliteration: wareware ha gun no uragirimono toshite sabakareru my translation: …we will be judged as traitors to the military.

raw: 私たち親子がここまで来たのは / 自分たちの選択ですからどうなっても受け入れます transliteration: watashitachi oyako ga koko made kita no ha / jibuntachi no sentaku desukara dounattemo ukeiremasu EH scans translation: The fact that my father and I have come this far… / That was the choice we ourselves made, so I can accept whatever comes of it. my translation: My father and I have come this far by choice. / Whatever happens, we will accept it. notes: i learned the word sentaku 選択, meaning "choice, option." it is different from sentaku 洗濯, meaning "laundry." also it seems that this line was not changed in the volume version; it was only moved around. that's why there's an EH scans translation for this entry. i would say their translation is slightly more accurate, but i'm happy with the concise way i phrased it.

raw: だがもしもの時は部下たちを中央から守るために… / 私はあなたを… transliteration: daga moshimo no toki ha bukatachi wo chuuou kara mamoru tame ni… / watashi ha anata wo… my translation: But if circumstance demands it, in order to protect my subordinates from Central… / I will … notes: "moshimo no toki" refers to unexpected circumstances. moshimo = what if, toki = time, so it's a "what if time." you could translate it as "if anything happens," and i was about to, but i had already used the word "happens" in the last speech bubble and i didn't want it to echo. so i took a liberty and made it sound cooler. as for the second half of the speech bubble, the literal translation is "i will ... you" and the verb is left unsaid. you can imagine the verb implied would be either "stop" or "kill." this is the pain of translation from SOV word order to SVO word order. also, there were very similar lines in the EH scans version, but because they didn't match precisely and i haven't seen the raws they were translating from, i couldn't be sure that the lines were exactly the same. so i didn't include EH scans's translation in this entry.

raw: 負けるつもりはない // すべて手に入れる transliteration: makeru tsumori ha nai // subete te ni haireru my translation: I do not intend to lose. // We will obtain everything we seek. notes: note that this is 100% different from the previous version where tsurumi tells koito to kill him. he just flat-out doesn't say that anymore. the first speech bubble is easy to translate. the second one isn't, or rather, it's hard to make it sound good? subete = everything, te ni haireru = to obtain. i took a minor liberty by making it a "we" pronoun because i think tsurumi would emphasize that his goals are for everyone's sake, not just his own. and i added "we seek" for clarity. also it sounds cooler.

PAGE 4

on this page, i changed the order of the contents of the speech bubbles to make it more of a cohesive sentence in english.

raw: 「私のちからになって助けてくれ」と // まっすぐにアタイを見てそげん言ってくいやっちょったら / そいでもついて行ったとに transliteration: [watashi no chikara ni natte tasukete kure] to // massugu ni atai wo mite sogen itte kuiyacchottara / soidemo tsuite itta toni my translation: All you had to do was look me in the eye and say, // [Stand with me and lend me your aid,] / and I would have followed you. notes: most prominent note is that koito lapses completely into satsuma dialect for the parts of the line that aren't in brackets. it isn't played as a joke this time; he is not speaking rapidly. tsurumi was able to understand him speaking like this when they first met, and he can understand him now. he says the bracketed part as what he wishes tsurumi would have said to him, and then he says the rest in dialect. "chikara ni naru" = "to be helpful, to be dependable, to stand by (someone)." if taken literally, "chikara ni naru" would mean "become my strength." but to my understanding, it does not have nearly the same intense connotations as the phrase "become my strength" does in english. i think. so that's the part i translated as "stand with me." then, "tasukete kure" means "help me, save me, assist me, support me." gotta figure out which verb makes the most sense in context. it's in the context of joining his team in a military sense, so it implies in the long term, and i think a phrase with a similar feeling that implies a longer term than "help" would be "lend me your aid." so that's how i arrived at "Stand with me and lend me your aid." this is a super important line; i'll write more about its significance down below. one more translation note: he says "massugu ni" (straightforward, frank, honest) with the verb "miru" (look at). so he's saying to "look at me straightforwardly." i phrased it as "look me in the eye" because that's what you do when you're looking at someone straightforwardly. honesty is the important implication (in contrast to sweet lies).

PAGE 5

raw: いくぞ月島 transliteration: ikuzo tsukishima EH scans translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. my translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. notes: could've also phrased it like, "We're leaving, Tsukishima." i have a feeling this line just slipped out of koito's mouth without any thoughts attached to it.

PAGE 6

raw: 月島? // 私の味方はもうお前だけになってしまったな? transliteration: tsukishima? // watashi no mikata ha mou omae dake ni natte shimatta na? EH scans translation: Tsukishima? // It seems you're the only ally I have left, doesn't it? my translation: Tsukishima? // Now you're the only ally I have left, aren't you? notes: tsurumi's use of "shimatta" carries the implication that this is how things have "ended up." a very literal translation could be, "my allies have now ended up becoming only you, huh?" but of course that doesn't sound natural, so it must be finagled. anyway, probably EH scans' version is better than mine. i just wanted to shed a little light on how you can translate the same sentence different ways and both can be right because japanese grammar is so different that there is no single direct counterpart.

plot analysis notes

i think it goes without saying that the changes to this scene are pretty significant in terms of the plot. some reasons are as follows:

when tsukishima calls out to koito in distress (page 2, second panel), it comes after a different line in this version. in the old version, he interrupts a line about koito and his father having come this far. there's not much significance to that except that he was maybe trying to stop koito from saying too much. but in this version, tsukishima cries out after koito's line about testing people with sweet lies. koito has come out and said too much right away. tsukishima is more upset this time because confronting tsurumi about sweet lies would reveal that tsukishima had talked to koito and given away the fact that the kidnapping was a ruse. tsukishima is distressed because he doesn't want tsurumi to think that he is turning on him as well.

new lines show that koito does understand the nature of tsurumi's rebellion against central. honestly it was kind of up in the air before this, given koito's earnest nature and the fact that his high-ranking father would have had to be in on it too. but now we know for sure that he understands. it's easy to look down on koito because he's so naive and emotional, but he's not stupid.

by changing this scene, noda-sensei makes the most of this confrontation, which is koito's last chance to have a calm conversation with tsurumi. (the only confrontation they have after this is when koito yells up at tsurumi on top of the train and tells him to set tsukishima free. but the subject matter is completely different at that time, and the tension is much higher, so that would be no time to bring up sweet lies again.) in terms of wrapping up the unresolved conflict of the kidnapping incident, it's gotta be this scene or nothing. in the altered scene, koito can now say what he wants to say to tsurumi about the kidnapping, make it clear he knows it was a lie, and gauge how tsurumi responds.

tsurumi no longer taunts koito (saying "kill me" when they both know he won't; implying that he would trust koito to carry on his plans because he's just that splendid when they both know he can't). those lines are tossed in the garbage and don't exist anymore. what he now says is short and simple, and it avoids the heart of the matter completely; he ignores 95% of what koito said and only focuses on one aspect (what might happen if they fail). koito hears this bad-faith response and understands that tsurumi will not voluntarily come clean about his lies. that's why he says his emotional next line and leaves it at that.

the line "Stand with me and lend me your aid" (「私のちからになって助けてくれ」) is a very important addition to this scene!!! the reason is that it is the line that koito says to tsukishima in the final chapter! (i haven't gotten there in the raw manga yet, but i've seen it A Lot in japanese fanart, so i recognized it right away.) that later line becomes a callback to this moment! i had no idea! if you had read the magazine version only (and i think we english language readers are all in the same boat in that respect), then you wouldn't have had the full context of that line in the final chapter. it is more satisfying and makes much more sense this way. and this line carries so much weight in both scenes. koito wishes that tsurumi would have earnestly asked for his help instead of tricking him with sweet lies. then, in the final chapter, koito earnestly asks tsukishima to join him by using that same line! it's a complete rejection of tsurumi's "sweet lies" modus operandi! there doesn't need to be any pretense between the two of them! they can just rely on each other honestly and with their whole hearts! (note: EH scans translated that line in the final chapter as, "Lend me your strength. I require your aid." that's good. i like mine better. maybe someone else could translate it even better. i really don't think VIZ will, though.)

tsukishima has an emotional reaction when koito says that. we get a whole new big panel of his face, so that's our cue to think about how tsukishima must feel at that moment. he looks surprised and thoughtful. i think he is impressed by koito's resolve and frankness and the way he made himself vulnerable in that moment by speaking his mind (in his native dialect). he must also be thinking about how this means that the whole kidnapping scheme was a waste of time and caused pain (and cost lives) for no reason. and he's probably thinking about how nice it would have been if tsurumi had said something like that to him instead of trapping him with sweet lies as well. it's a moment where tsukishima is struck by how koito is honest and honorable, and it stands in stark contrast to tsurumi (especially considering the monster that tsurumi has become). this moment helps us better understand why tsukishima sticks with koito at the end of the story.

the following was clear in the other version too, but when koito says it's time to go, tsukishima is clearly turning to follow him (he turns 180 degrees right in front of us). that's notable. first of all, i don't think koito said that and expected tsukishima to follow him in a "you better choose me or him right now!" kind of way. i think it slipped out. tsukishima has become a staple in his life, and he expects him to be at his side at all times, so he tried to walk away with him out of habit without considering what it would look like to tsurumi. on a similar note, i don't think tsukishima was about to follow koito in a "now we're turning our backs on tsurumi forever" kind of way. it was a kind of subconscious movement; he found himself turning to follow the person he really wanted to follow. and there are motion lines showing that he stops moving when tsurumi calls out to him. if tsurumi hadn't stopped him, i wonder how far he would have gotten before catching himself and thinking about how it would look to tsurumi if he followed koito out of the building.

it seems that that after this scene, koito isn't exactly working toward tsurumi's goals anymore. in the last panel of the last page here, he notices tsukishima isn't following him. that's probably when he thinks about the implications of trying to take tsukishima with him, so he goes off by himself. the next time we see him, he confronts fleeing shiraishi and fights nagakura on the bridge. but why is he doing that? maybe because he thinks tsurumi getting the land deed would be better for japan than if team hijikata kept it. it can't be blind allegiance to tsurumi at this point, right? and then a little later (after jumping in the moat), koito sees tsukishima riding away with tsurumi on horseback, so he follows them and ends up at the train. why does koito board the train and fight hijikata? is it still in pursuit of tsurumi's goals? or is it to protect his subordinates on the train, especially tsukishima? it has to be the latter, right? he doesn't do anything explicitly rebellious, but his allegiance to tsurumi is basically gone at that point, and that's why he is able to confront tsurumi in tsukishima's defense on the back of the train car. so in essence, the scene in this post was the final turning point in the relationship between koito and tsurumi. his goal has become "protecting his subordinates (especially tsukishima) from being sacrified by tsurumi."

in conclusion, i kinda wish noda-sensei wouldn't make sweeping changes to art AND dialogue in very important scenes... but i think this change was pretty good.

EDIT: i found out that piduai also translated these pages, and they ended up with a very similar translation to mine for that one important line! yeahh! i've discovered the MVP piduai! i encourage you to compare the translations.

[worldismyne]

Soul Eater Lore brainrot

No secret I'm working on another long fic, but I acciedentally glanced at a part of the wiki that's attached to Fire Force and... yeah. I don't see it working (still reading it, but it's... yeah)

So uh, below the cut is my prewriting for fixing the lore. Because I wrote my first fic in the middle of SE's manga updating, and it added some extra constrictions I had to work with.

First, some canon things to work off of

Shinigami-sama is the god of order, not the god of death. He is a underworld/death god, but his powers are all about maintaining balance in the world of the living by killing people.

Shinigami-sama describes witches as destructive (examples of magic use in canon are: creating new life (weapons), creating black blood, creating magical tools, creating familiars (medusa's snakes), creating ice, creating an entire other realm, moving from one body to the next, moving things in space and time) Conclusion, magic may be destructive to order, but it does not seem destructive by nature.

Old Ones include: Lord Death (God of Order), Asura (God of Madness/Fear?), Eibon (God of Knowledge), Great Old One of Power (black blood looking thing, coincidence?, let's call them Khonsu), Excalibur (light/holy motif, instills metatextual chaos and cringe in characters). Presented as Eldrich like beings that each have a wavelength that produces some form of madness in humans. Eibon, Khonsu, Asura, Excalibur are sealed away from humanity for one reason or another at the start of the series, Lord Death is rooted to Death City. The world seems the most stable when they're not literally running around.

There can only be one true god for any given concept (order, knowledge, etc), if a new one fully awakens, the previous one dies. Kid was created intentionally knowing this.

Greek mythology is heavily referenced, but not always accurate. Ex. Hades was the god of wealth and ruler of the under world. Lord Death is the god of order and ruler of the over world. But general themes seem to line up. (Like the fact Death is trapped in one spot, guarding god-eating entities, deals with souls, etc.) All seems based on vibes.

Not counting Fire Force canon. We're sticking with the SE manga only. (I haven't finished FF, it's been a process > - >)

Head canons from my previous work...

Pandora, mother of witches, cursed the gods with mortality after releasing Khonsu from his prison. Similar to Asura's release, there was chaos as the world tried to regain order.

Lord Death is a fragment of Hades (God of wealth and the underworld)

Humans serve Lord Death (order, reaping souls, right and wrong), witches served a god of life (chaos, creation). They've been at war forever over the Hades v Pandora fiasco. Lord Death and Eibon partnering on the magical tools was supposed to bring balance, but it just made things worse for both sides bringing us to present day SE.

Chrona was an artificial recreation of the god of life, Ragnarok was used to hide the birth of a new god from Shinigami-sama by literally overpowering Chrona's wavelength their whole childhood/teens.

Basically, one side cannot be stronger than the other. Things have been a mess because Lord Death was trying to call all the shots instead of letting things be delegated. The literal universe has been trying to get back to normal with LD trying to force it to do what he wants it to. When you're only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

New stuff I'm work shopping to expand the lore.

Alright, so the first thing I did was like, a cursory glance at Greek mythology and the Fates/Morai are the ones in charge of who lives and dies (including gods) not Hades. So, since we're big on the number 8 in Soul Eater we're going to use the 3 fates to fill in those empty god slots.

So we'll have a god of birth/magic associated with the sun. (Inspired by the spinner Clotho)

A god of life/present/destiny associated with the moon (to replace the previous one god of life the witches valued the most, inspired by the allotter Lachesis)

And a god of demise/future associated with the stars. (Inspired by the inevitable Atropos)

They can be the 3 Asura ate, because they were the only ones who could have theoretically had the power to kill him. They knew this would happen (because, y'know, fate) and were the first to fragment into demi-gods before getting killed by Asura. Easy, breezy, beautiful; cover girl. 

So, then you can have a scenario where the witches' side and LD's side have been trying to compensate for the loss of these 3 major deities by taking over their duties. Which could theoretically maintain order, but it's all kinds of dysfunctional, and significantly less magical.

Bonus points for whenever one of them awakens without the other two, shit gets really chaotic.

SE begins when the new Allotter fragment tries to awaken, and the Inevitable is still missing/dormant.

[burningfairytales]

Just saw your answer. Can I ask, why do you love Haikyuu, All for the Game, and Throne of Glass? I think those 3 media are unique (because they're so different from each other) and I love to read your writings.

Hey! :)

Of course you can ask!

I know, they're all super different; it's weird.

Starting with Throne of Glass - I love the growth of the whole book series a a whole? In both the characters but also the writing itself.

You can really tell that SJM was young when she started writing it, and I think it's fun to see how her writing evolves with time.

(Fun fact - I couldn't finish the first one when I picked it up the first time. I thought it was horrible. I gave it another chance after reading ACOTAR though, and everyone is right: It does get so much better. Now I think it's cool to compare the writing in the first book to the writing in the last one.)

I like the storyline, and I LOVE the characters. I think every single character is well-rounded. They're flawed and they all learn and grow.

I also have to say that by now, I prefer ToG to ACOTAR because, well. The first three books were great! After that it felt like they solely existed for smut purposes. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's just not my cup of tea.

In Throne of Glass you did have some scenes that bordered on spice, but it felt fitting. Like it was there for a reason - a natural continuation of the characters becoming intimate with each other both physically and mentally. It didn't feel like there was smut just for the sake of it being there, if that makes sense?

In general I just felt like the characters and their interactions and relationships felt very natural to me.

As for All for the Game - I mean.

I was part of the fandom when we were still 20 people and a cardboard cutout, you know? There were very few of us, but we loved those books fiercely. And as there was barely any fan-content out there at the time, we had to go out and make it ourselves.

I met some people in that time that I will never forget - people I wish all the happiness in the world for, even if we don't talk anymore.

I also met one of my best friends through those books. Now imagine - this was almost ten years ago, and this year, she officiated my wedding.

So those books will always, always be special to me.

As for the story itself - I had no idea what I was about to read at the time. Someone on tumblr recommended them to me and she generally had great taste, so I tried them. I mean, if she had told me I was about to read "Sports Manga Goes to America And Also The Mafia Shows Up" it might have stayed on my to-read list forever.

It does sound pretty ridiculous.

But this whole theme of all these damaged kids coming together and having to figure things out together, and helping each other heal?

That kinda gets me everytime, and Nora did it especially well.

It was like, never once was an issue talked about like it meant nothing. People tend to handle trauma like it comes with an expiration date, you know? Like there is just a certain point after which you're expected to be over it.

Well, some things you don't get over. Ever. And they get easier to deal with, with the right tools. And the right people. But that doesn't make them lesser-than. I think that's a theme that just spoke to me.

Also, I mean, the whole relationship between Neil and Andrew. I mean. Yeah. Perfection.

As for Haikyuu - which is perhaps my oddest choice, and also my latest obsession...

I went into expecting nothing. I knew it was a sports anime that people talked about a few years ago, and I always meant to check it out, but never got around to it.

And then it was on Netflix, and I thought, hey, y'know what, I haven't watched any good animes lately.

Look, I didn't go into it expecting to cry because Hinata managed to receive a stupid ball. I didn't expect to cry because of "thanks for getting me into volleyball."

I may have expected crying about "It's time I became an ace. Period." if I'd known it was coming, but I DIDN'T SO THERE'S THAT.

Thing is, I cannot, for the live of me, think of a single character I don't like. There are characters I really wanted to not like (I'm so sorry Tendo, you deserved better) and characters I am still midly annoyed by (look as hilarious as that snake guy was he was just in too many scenes, okay. I had the same problem with him that I had with the one guy from Laketown in The Hobbit 3. You know which one I'm talking about. Like three main characters DIED and you didn't get to mourn them because apparently an executive decision was made to underminde that tragedy by forcing a guy to wear a dress and expect the audience to laugh at that.

It's been years. I am still bitter.)

(Ahem.)

But yes, I just love every single character so, so much. They're all so intricate with their own desires and flaws and dreams and ways of thinking. I rarely even liked a main character as much as I love Hinata.

I love the relationship each team displays among its members. I love their dynamics. I love the dynamics the teams have amongst each other.

Ah - another scene that had me choking back tears. Daichi's and Kuroo's hug. I mean. After all those "I'm going to break your hand"-handshakes?? Yeah, there were tears.

Haikyuu might not have the depth that for example Throne of Glass has when it comes to its plot, but that's not necessary - it wins in other aspects.

I'm telling you that when I'm having a Bad Day (capital letters necessary), Haikyuu is a show that will cheer me up. Sometimes it doesn't need much. Sometimes a few dorks with a volleyball will do. It's just a very feel-good show - or a feel-good manga series of course.

So I guess, maybe these three things aren't completely different - they all overlap in the part that matters most to me: people finding each other. Strangers becoming a team, a family, and choosing to help each other through life.

Found family, man. That will never not get me.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

"I have mixed feelings abt Death Note" Tell me more, tell me more

Oh, Nonnie, I am going to disappoint you so hard. They're mixed feelings, not mixed thoughts, really.

I was an emo otaku teenager right when Death Note was hitting ground in the US. I've never actually seen the anime, but I own every single volume of the manga, the BB Murder Files. I had two Death Note shirts at one point, but only have one now (Goodwill). I have some old art of me drawing L's stylized monogram and doing my best to replicate the logo for the series.

In fact, my high school didn't give us our yearbooks until the next year, at which point they were obviously not signed, etc., so a couple friends one year bought those Death Note composition notebooks that were available at the time as merch and we all signed them instead of a yearbook and said how we'd die.

(Tell me your friend group is rife with mental illness without telling me)

All of which is to point out Death Note was a big thing for me, once. I clearly adored it.

I can't really summon up...why, anymore. I do remember L was my favorite character, and he died so early in the grand scheme of things that it impacted my interest for certain. Mello and Near were not particularly interesting to me, which made the latter bit of the series fall flatter for me.

I also remember, when I was behind on the series compared to my friends, because I had no fucking money as a child, teenager, or really until the very end of my twenties, so it took forever for me to get the volumes compared to everyone else I knew, if L or Light "died first" and my friend took to the opportunity to spoil...literally everything that happened left in the series.

Which also impacted my enjoyment of reading those parts.

It was a big Thing and part of my life, but I don't really remember it ever becoming part of my soul, which is kind of a weird place for me to leave it, I suppose.

It's also fair to point out that mystery and detective fiction has never really been my Thing. I've always gravitated more toward sci-fi and fantasy, and so more of my mystery exposure was through things like The Dresden Files, etc. Or, well, Death Note. I am in my 30s and just now experiencing my second Sherlock Holmes adaptation. I have seen probably none of the major detective-y things. It's just never particularly compelled me without a fantasy aspect. I like suspense and puzzling things out...detective stuff is...usually sort of meh.

But, and this is also probably really important: it got really big in the US when I was in middle school and my freshman year of high school.

My freshman year of high school, when it was really at fever pitch, was a very, very, very bad time for me from a mental health perspective, and I honestly remember very little from most of it and what I do is often emotionally empty and flat because my brain has cut a lot of it off. My journals from that time scare me, now, out of that mental state.

And I'm sure that also cut into the way I remember Death Note and the way I was capable of handling it.

So it's one of those things I remember being really into, but I cannot summon up any memories of old love. There were a lot of things I thought were really interesting that it did, but. Not enough to truly compel me emotionally or creatively.

I just have a lot of complicated and mixed feelings about it, a lot of which might not even really be related to the series. I haven't revisited it in a long time.

But it's certainly got a strong message to it, and pretending it doesn't is just plain silly.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 5.21.2024

Somehow, I feel like the Summer Slump has hit early this year. School isn't even out yet, but I'm already at this point where it's hard to ever get anything done because my attention is always getting pulled away and before I'm ever able to get really into a thing. Part of it is because I am a procrastinator, and it takes me forever to get started on something. If I were just better at Getting Down to It, I would accomplish more, but that's just...not the mode I am in. I am generally able to name one priority per day and actually get that done, but whether or not I get anything more than that done is kind of a crapshoot.

I did (finally) finish one of my requests this week! The first one was short and I was able to bang it out in 2 days, and that was great. The second one was harder because it was longer, which gave me so many more opportunities to get distracted. I did get it finished, though, although it meant ignoring my ao3 inbox for a few days and it is now Out of Control, although I'm now trying to get that whittled back down. (As long as I'm doing links, I also managed to fill a request with something I had in my WIPs folder, so I am up to 3 total). It would be super cool if I could just...write them all short and quick, but that is not a thing that is up to me. The fanfic comes out the way it does. I am just here.

I know which one I am going to do next, but I haven't started it yet, in part because of the inbox thing and also because there's part of the manga I want to re-read, but it's in the Soul Society Arc, so I keep getting distracted by things like "does the Kidou Corps have specialty eye makeup?" I'm also kind of hoping to finish an art I started a while ago. I got partway through the coloring and I'm not real happy with it, so I may have to roll it back a bit and try again a different way. It's just sort of in the same state of it's taking a long time because it's taking a long time.

Anyway, it's almost summer and I've got a lot going on. I have not, by any means, given up on my requests. I actually think it's good for me to have a list of small projects to work on, but I'm not going to try to impose a timeline or anything. I'll just work on them when I have the time and inclination, and hopefully, every so often, I'll manage to finish one. I do really appreciate everyone's patience. Believe me, this isn't my favorite way to be, either, but sometimes one-day-at-a-timing it is the best you can do.

[piracytheorist]

I'm on a SxF discord server that has particular channels for anime only fans, and over the course of the eight or so months that I've been in it, I've been spoiled four times, for different stuff, by four different people. None of them did it maliciously or consciously, but it made me think about some stuff... It's none of their responsibility to care for me not getting spoiled, but the truth is, a lot of times that I started a discussion there, it either didn't get a lot of traction, or I could see the manga readers itch to say more but could not, or at the worst, I got spoiled because someone had forgotten they were talking on the spoiler-free channel. At some point you start feeling that maybe this place isn't what you're looking for.

And I'm coming to realize that probably the most difficult part of being anime only is how left out I feel. It takes a special kind of hard-headedness to love the story so much, to want to talk about it forever, but not wanting to read the manga because you prefer to experience the story through the anime. And I haven't found anyone else who fulfills all those three things. Any anime onlys I've come across who love the story don't seem to be interested in writing meta (it's fine not to be, I'm not judging, by the way), just in enjoying the story. And that's because, usually, if a fan loves the story enough to want to analyze it and talk about it, they end up reading the manga in order to have more stuff to talk about and more people to talk to.

So again, to no-one's fault by my own, I'm left with so many feelings and so many things I want to talk about but only being able to shout them at the void, cause even places where they try to stay spoiler-free eventually make me feel guilty for how people try to bend over themselves to not spoil me, or mildly annoyed every time I accidentally get spoiled. And then I feel guilty for those people feeling guilty for spoiling me.

I don't know where I was going with this. Guess I'm just venting. Maybe if I do get the job I want next month it'll occupy a lot of my time every day (in a good, productive way... I hope 😅) and I won't have so much time to mope around and think about how left out I feel by my own damn choices.