#i haven't looked into anything else but i really do loved these
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Secret Box
Sorry no fancy formatting or anything here. I got sudden inspired to write this from an anon @moodymisty got Tagging @kit-williams because I know Mr. Turbo is her man Warnings: Hints of NSFW stuff at the very end. Sorry if Turbo sounds ooc I haven't written him at all before so be kind. Also, did not proofread this. MINOR DNI
"Oh I don't know, I would be unhappy too if all I had to was tear things down and war. Maybe he wants to something else?"
"What do you mean? He seems quite happy breaking things."
He watched you frown so deeply, "My little bother was like that, everyone thought he like being mad. Just did not know how to convey his feelings, and felt like he had to stay under father's thumb. But he really just wanted to be an artist. I loved his art!"
"I didn't know you had a brother, where is he?"
"Dead. Died angry and lonely because father wanted a soldier."
His furious hearts stopped in his chest. You saw him. You did not realize it, but you did. It scared him, mad him want to rage and break you. It made him want to keep you close. Show you those things he wanted to forget.
***
"What in the Emperor's name is that?"
"Oh one of those puzzle boxes, some call them secret boxes because once you open them you can keep little important secrets in them!" your smile makes his head spin and his stomach lurch.
He wanted you to smile at him like that more. He needed you to talk to him about the silly little boxes.
"Why do you have so many? They seem pointless, we do not have anything to keep in them."
"Oh, I am far too stupid to open them, but I find them beautiful, each one looks different, opens differently, and all so complex, like people!"
***
Weeks he slaved over his workbench, keeping this secret to all, which was made easy when got the small chance to engage with you. Or most commonly, watch you interact with others, needed to make sure you didn't give his secrets away; at least he tried to convince himself of that.
You thought yourself stupid, but you figured him out in a way not even the damn Emperor himself could. What looked so simple was perhaps the most complex of all.
You wanted to see the art he could create that wasn't for war, how his mind could do if allowed to run free. Called his work art, like it was something to also marvel at.
The primarch looked over his newest creation, the small box was intricate in it's design, how he liked things. But it was what was inside that made his chest feel weak, and yet made him powerful all the same. The primarch of iron was feeling himself soften at the heat that had made a permanent home in his lower abdomen.
When he presented the box to you he did not say he made it, refused to. But as he explained his lie, the look you cast at him shocked him. You knew his bluff. Of course you did.
"Well, whoever made this is a true master! I have never seen something to beautiful before, thank you my lord," you smile up at him, letting him keep his pride and secret, "I know you are a busy man, but should you remember who made this could you be so kind to your serf and tell me?"
Prutabo grunted and nodded, "If I feel so inclined. Let me know if and when you open it."
***
Days and weeks pass and you keep him updated with your progress, he makes comments that hint he isn't too interested, after all someone of his genius would have opened it already. You agree, but you won't give up. You determination makes his hearts feel like they are in knots. How happy and joyful you are over his little toy. The fun you find in testing yourself only just to say you did it. The moments of you updating him live inside his dreams, where he is brave enough to hold your hand and smile back.
The crusade had called him away and like always it kept him longer than anyone else. While his brothers got to reap all the glory he was cleanup, or the brunt hammer to break wills. So of course when the Lord of Iron returned everyone scattered. Hid like cowards.
Not you. Even with him exuding even more of his dour demeanor you came running up to him. Puzzle box in hand.
"My Lord! I know you just returned, but I have been waiting for teran weeks for you to return." you were overflowing with excitement; practically vibrating with it.
It was like a disease that spread quickly, because as you spoke his ire cooled. You were happy he was home.
"Make it quick." though he hoped you took as long as you wanted.
"I am about to open the box, and I wanted to open it with you!" you grin up at him coming closer, "Exciting right?"
You...waited for him. Wanted to share in his happiness with...Throne he thought he was going to burst out of his armor and into flames.
"For someone who cannot easily solve things, I suppose. Well, open it." he grumbled, fighting to keep his mask on.
As you moved the last piece into place and opened the lid, a centerpiece rose up, and thereupon it was a metal sculpting of morning glories rising up and in bloom, the spun slowly as music played. And resting inside the main flower was a small ring, designed to look like vines holding a blooming rose the held a pink diamond.
Oh the look upon your face he would have waited lifetimes just to see it. It made this little box the greatest thing he would ever fashion.
"My Lord...I...forgive me, my words are failing." you whisper still marveling at the spinning flowers, "I love morning glories..."
Perturabo nodded, "I am aware. I do listen..." he wanted to know about the ring, wanted you to wear it.
Let everyone know you were his. That you wanted to be his.
Tears well up in your eyes as you so gingerly take the ring. Without needing to ask he gently holds the box so you might place it upon one of your fingers. He watches intently as you try various fingers before putting it upon your ring finger.
"My..."
"Perturabo. You can call me by my name...should you wish to continue to wear that ring." he spoke so very softly for himself.
Thorne, he needed you to keep it on.
"I will, Perturabo," you say his name to see how it rolls off your tongue and it sounds like heaven to him.
When this crusade is over he will fill this place with sounds of your and his children, and he will cast off all this cold machinery for things that truly mattered to him. Being a toy maker in one's spare time wasn't such a foolish notion. He would not die like your brother, and leave you alone.
"Are you sure you want...I mean... I am a serf, people will talk and I do not want to tarnish your name." you whisper to him, eyes fixed on the ring.
"They would be foolish to speak of it where I can hear." was all he offered.
Your small hands slip over his covered in his massive gauntlets, and he was trembling to get this armor off.
"My Lady, if it pleases you," his voice low and he leaned in close so no other could hear, "I wish to remove this armor, if you would wait for me in my chambers..." he couldn't believe he was doing this! Smoothness and words were not his strong points, but for you, he would try, "There is a puzzle I would like to get to know intimately, work with my hands, would you be willing?"
His face burned as he waited what felt like eons for you to reply. Was this all too much too fast? Was he being a fool?
You take the music puzzle box from him and when you pull back you are smiling with cheeks as flushed as his, "I would love that. Now go before your men see you this shade of red and not yelling. I do not want to ruin your reputation." you tease
Perturabo smiled, "You, I will allow to ruin me." he said before tearing off to get this damn armor off.
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Really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear? [BJORN X FEM!READER] [18+ ONLY] [4 OF?]
Where it all went wrong.
A/N: HELLO I'M BACK AHAHA have chapter 4 :3 we learn why Bjorn and Reader started to fall apart :) this is ANGSTTTT
Series warnings: unplanned pregnancy, discussions of abortion, eventual childbirth, commitmentphobe Bjorn, possessive Bjorn, talks of morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms, friends to fwb to something Worse, cheating mentions, nsfw content such as sex and eventual Alien type scenarios
18 weeks ago
"I'm gonna break it off with him," you murmur, one morning, curled into Bjorn's side and trailing your fingers up and down his chest.
He grunts a sleepy noise, squinting at you through half closed lids. "Why?" he asks, yawning, as he idly brushes his fingers through the ends of your hair. "Wha'sthe twat done?"
"Bjorn," you frown, shifting to sit up a little, searching his face. "I can't... it's not fair on him. He's not done anything wrong-"
"Beyond be a bit shit in bed?" he deflects, and you scowl.
"Bjorn!"
"What?" he huffs, arm flopping back onto the bed, frown firmly in place. "Not wrong, otherwise you wouldn't be coming to me for a shag, now would you?"
You flinch, staring at him with wounded eyes. His jaw sets, but he offers no apologies. "Is that what you think?" You ask, voice wavering. "That's the only reason I...?"
His eyes darken, and he shifts uncomfortably, looking outside of his bedroom window. There's nothing of interest outside of it, of course there isn't. But he's unable to meet your gaze, your hurt eyes.
"What else is there?" he asks, voice cool, exhaling hard as he looks at you again, daring you to say more.
"I can't keep doing this," you laugh, bitterly, as you drop the bedsheets and stand, grabbing your bra, your underwear, furiously tugging them on. Usually you'd relish the feeling of his spend still lingering between your thighs, but now? Now it feels like a mockery, a sham. "You keep fucking- every time we- I can't live with this!"
"What?" he barks out, sitting up and yanking on his t-shirt. "Can't live with what, love? Hm?" He challenges, pulling on his boxers and standing, scowling at you.
"This!" You shriek, gesturing between you both. "You're my best friend and I- fuck, Bjorn, when was the last time we hung out and it wasn't for sex?"
"Y'say that like it's a bad thing."
"It's not, it's- I just miss you," you whisper, ducking your head down with a shaky exhale. The Bjorn of before, your best friend, he'd comfort you, would reach out and pull you into a hug. Would settle his hands on your shoulders and look into your eyes, telling you everything would be alright. Would press a kiss to your forehead before shoving you in the direction of the couch so you both could watch a shitty film.
This Bjorn, the one standing before you now? He makes no such moves. His fists clench and unclench by his sides, something flashing across his expression that you can't quite put a name to.
"Right here, aren't I?" he asks, voice hoarse, thick with emotion. His vulnerable eyes meet yours, a look you haven't seen from him in...
You reach out, cupping his cheek in your hand, gently brushing your thumb back and forth along his cheekbone. "Are you?"
He swallows, leaning his cheek into your hand before ripping himself away, back to you, his hand scratching at his scalp. "You should go," he mutters, staring holes into the pictures taped to his wall; years and years with his family and friends, group pictures, silly takes, you in his arms like you belong there. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, hands balling into fists by his sides again. "Y'know, 'fore your boyfriend comes home."
You say nothing. There is the shuffle of clothes being pulled on, the sound of his bedroom door opening and closing and then...
Silence.
"FUCK!" comes his shout, as he slams a balled up fist against the cool metal of his bedroom wall. He leans against it for a moment, ignoring the dull throbbing of his hand as he tries to regain his bearings.
It's impossible, when you've knocked him so off kilter.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Now.
"Fuckin'..." Bjorn slurs, as he leans against your kitchen counter. "Nice... nice dishtowel." he gestures, vaguely, at the pink thing neatly sat on your counter. It wasn't often that you saw a colour that wasn't some shade of brown, grey or beige. So you'd snatched it up at the market, unable to stop smiling that day.
"Thanks," you retort, sourly, arms crossed as you lean against your shitty kitchen table. "What do you want, Bjorn?"
"Can't a bloke cum'n'see his best mate?" he asks, giving you a cheeky grin.
Your eye twitches. As if that damn stupid smile was supposed to erase the last few weeks of torment you'd been putting each other through.
"You haven't said a nice word to me in about two months, you know that, right?"
"Oh, like you've been a ray of fuckin' sunshine lately, love." he shoots back, before taking one look at you and sighing, slumping and scrubbing his hands down his face. "I've missed ya, alright?" he mutters, stumbling on over to your couch and sitting down on it. "Fuckin'... Tyler, man, yappin' on boutcha... not his fuckin' best mate..." he crosses his arms, glumly slouching into the comfort of your couch.
"What the fuck has Tyler got to do with anything?" you ask, bewildered, blinking at him. "He's been a good friend, y'know? Actually asking how I'm doing and not telling me to go fuck myself-"
"Look so pretty with ya fingers inside'ya though," he smirks, bouncing his brows at you. Upon seeing your Medusa scowl, he immediately holds up his hands. "Sorry. Fuck, fuck- I promised myself I wouldn't do that-"
"What? Hit on me after weeks of not talking to me?" you snort, sitting down next to him, tentatively.
He nods, eagerly, reminding you of those little bobble head puppies you sometimes saw sitting on desks on offices. "Yeah! That! The fuckin'... deflection shit. I wanted ta... fuck, I'm sorry, love, alright? I just..."
He looks at you, with his hazy, half open eyes. He reaches out, gently clasping the back of your neck and leaning his forehead against yours, bringing you closer to him. Your heart skips.
Be it from the familiar warmth of him, or the glimpse of the old Bjorn, you're not sure.
"I've missed ya," he whispers, nudging his nose against yours. You try not to recoil from him, the smell of Aspen clinging to his breath. You'd always hated the smell of the beer, and with the baby-
It feels surreal, sitting in the presence of your best friend, your baby's father, and him being blissfully unaware of its existence.
"Missed ya so fuckin' much," he whispers, stroking his fingers along the nape of your neck. You fight back a shiver. "Fuckin'... don't feel like m'self these days, y'know? Like 'alf of me's missin' or summit, even though you're right there and- and fuck, why'dya have t'say it?" He slurs, damn near sobbing the last part out. "We were- we were fine 'till y'said it-"
"We weren't," you whisper, shaking your head and lurching back from him, forcing yourself to your feet. "We weren't, Bjorn! Neither of us could've kept going the way we were!"
"But we had each'otha-" he reaches out, grabbing your hands. "That was- was all I ever wanted-"
"It was all I wanted too," you whisper, giving his hand a squeeze. His palms are clammy, his fingers cold. You squeeze a little tighter, hoping to give him some warmth. "But it was killing us Bjorn. It was."
He lets out a choked sound, resting his forehead against your joined hands. "Why'dya hafta say it?"
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
10 weeks ago.
You lay side by side, panting, both slick with sweat. The room is silent save for your laboured breaths.
"Should we-"
"No." Bjorn grunts, pulling the sheets over his waist, eyes glued to the ceiling.
"Bjorn-" you protest, pushing yourself up, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth.
"Just slipped out, didn't it?" he asks, glancing at you, before flinching and returning his gaze to the ceiling. "Slip of the tongue. Happens to the best of us. Can pretend it never happened."
Silence.
He glances to you again, startled at the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks as you stare back at him.
"Fucksake-" he panics, sitting up, gently taking your face in his hands, wiping the tears from your face. "Y'alright-"
"I said I love you." you whisper, and it may as well be a shout from how hard he flinches as you say it. "I can't just- I can't just ignore that, Bjorn."
"Why?" he asks, desperately, searching your face. "We can just-"
"Go back to the way things were?" you finish, bitterly, and he ducks his head down. "I... I can't. I won't. We need to talk about this-"
"We don't!" he snaps, dropping his hands from your face in favour of carding them through his hair. "We're mates, that's all there is to it, ain't there?"
You shake your head, exhaling shakily. "You know as well as I do that that's not the case, not anymore. I love you and I- you love-"
"Don't fuckin' tell me how I feel!" he interrupts, scowling at you. "Don't you dare- I'm the only person who decides that, alright?!"
"Are-" you give him a once over, another tear streaking down your cheek. "Can you honestly tell me you don't feel the same? That this is just- just physical?"
Bjorn sighs heavily through his nose, not quite meeting your eyes. "Just mates, love." he mutters, picking at a loose piece of skin by one of his nails. "S'all there is to it. Nothing more."
"I love you." you repeat, oh so quietly, but you know he hears it. His flinch gives him away. You wait for him to say something, anything, you wait and wait and-
He says nothing back.
"We're done." you whisper, firmly, as you stand and redress, as he continues to pick at his skin and refuses to look at you. "You and me we're- this is over."
"Fine."
You feel like screaming, like grabbing him by the shoulders and demand he fights for you both, that he drops this bullshit facade he has up, that he just fucking admits it-
You do none of this.
You flee, instead, back to the safety of your own trailer.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Now.
"Because that's how I felt," you say, leaning down, pressing a kiss to his head. "Can't change any of it now, though."
"We were fine," he repeats, eyes damp as he looks up at you. "We..."
"Weren't."
He chokes back a sob, tugging insistently on your hand. You sit back down next to him, watching his face.
His beautiful, handsome face that even now still sends your heart skipping a beat or two.
"I..." he clutches your hand tight. "Fuck- messed up. I ruined-"
"You didn't feel the same, Bjorn," you sigh, giving him a tight smile. It still hurts, even now, after all these weeks. "That's... not a crime. I just think it could've been handled better."
"But I do!" he snaps, squeezing your hand. "I fuckin'- christ, love, I've been mental 'boutcha for years-"
Instead of skipping a beat, your heart stops. Drops to your stomach entirely as you listen to him, as you watch him. He's drunk. So very drunk.
What he's saying, it's everything you'd been hoping for, that you've dreamed of...
You reach out, pressing a finger to his lips.
But it isn't right.
"No," you say softly, shaking your head. "No. Tell me when you sober up, okay? I don't... I don't wanna hear it from you like this."
He blinks at you, oh so confused... before nodding, pecking your finger. "Okay..."
You stand, scrubbing a hand down your face. "Sleep on the couch tonight, okay? I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Okay." He repeats, nodding still. Your lips quirk up a little, as you toss a blanket his way.
"Shoes off."
"Okay."
That gets your snorting. He blinks innocently at you, toeing off his boots.
"Night, Bjorn."
"Okay..." he slurs, already half asleep and tangled with the blanket you'd tossed his way.
Your eyes linger on him a moment before you head to your bedroom, before you curl up on your bed and resist the urge to cry all over him again.
He won't be there in the morning. You know it.
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❤️ First song by them I heard was Bang! But the first one I heard that I knew was by them was world's smallest violin (cause radio didn't bother to say the artist name for bang)
🧡 I liked bang when it what's on the radio but I only really started listening to them after I found world's smallest violin
💛 ooh that's a tough one, ummm either The Maybe Man or Neotheater
💚 I haven't seen a lot of their music videos so I would have to say Turning out I, Weak (cause of the ending), or Maybe Man
🩵 Don't really have a favorite brother, I think they're all great
💙 Yes! I went to The Maybe Man tour when it hit Cincinnati. My parents got me VIP 2 (cause 3 just instantly sold out ig) as a graduation present. everyone there was super nice, the openers were great, the show was incredible, my view could have been better but I'm happy with what I got because I was able to get a spot RIGHT up against the barrier. I was singing along to everything and my voice hated me for a while after that but MEH the whole thing was amazing
🩷 I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I am not a huge fan of I'm ready. Because of the SpongeBob part. I just cannot stand his voice and I know that song is what helped them blow up and the rest of the song is amazing it's just those specific parts that I do not like.
💜 it has to be Turning Out pt. II I semi recently fell out of relationship with my first and only crush and it got me thinking (because I'm autistic [Asperger's to be specific] I have a hard time feeling and picking up on social cues and all of that, well also being introvert and doing online schooling for the later part of middle school and all the way up to senior year when I went back to a brick and mortar School) I never really felt anything with her in the later years so the lyrics in particular "I think I probably wasn't in love with you I think I probably loved the idea of you"
🤎 I had to look at the statistics to find one that was actually underrated and turning out pt III
🖤 I found the world's smallest violin through some shorts, decided to find the song, listened to it in full, loved it, looked at what else they made, saw that they made bang, freaked out, showed my mom, and started listening to the rest of their songs.
AJR ASK GAME
cough idk how to do these but i want ajr asks
❤️- First song you've heard from them 🧡- How long you've been a fan 💛- Favorite album 💚- Favorite music video 🩵- Favorite brother 💙- Have you been to one of their shows (if so tell us about it) 🩷- A song you dislike 💜 - Song you relate to the most 🤎 - Song you think is underated 🖤- How you found out about them
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I love jinx she’s my everything and my comfort character so I’m really insecure not even in normal insecurity like I’m on an deep level and I have a really bad eating disorder was wondering how would yandere! Jinx handle that I’m insecure about everything about me and i hide all my body I can’t eat or look in mirrors if I did I’ll break them (you don’t have to do this request I think it’s absolutely ridiculous also I’m okay I’m in therapy now)
Is it my fault? 🧊
Tags: mention of blood, theme of uncertainty.
Well, I was gone for quite a while, lol, but I was able to fight off the teachers and come back 💪🏻 I hope you are glad to see me again, and I also have to say that I wrote about this from my point of view, and I am sorry if I did not understand your state of mind. This topic is not so close to me, and I really tried 🙏🏻
Jinx knew from the start that something was wrong. You were always too shy, closed off, and scared. You never exposed your body. The world saw nothing but your palms and head. Is this your style? No, you always look embarrassed when your clothes suddenly ride up and just a little bit more is visible. She thought that society, all those people around you, were to blame for everything. They must have just rammed their shit into you and are enjoying themselves. Jinx won't let them trample you that easily! But nothing changes even when you become a couple and Jinx becomes your rock and protection from any unwanted contact. No, she cut you off from the world. Seeing your insecurities seemed right to her. Jinx just makes your life easier, doesn't she? You didn't change.
It seemed to only get worse.
Mirrors. It took Jinx a moment to realize you were doing this. Everything in Zaun was broken, even the people. And yet there was something strange about the mirrors in your house. She resisted for a long time and attributed everything to her new quirks. Then she counted the number of cracks on all the mirrors you could reach. And she knew. Her stomach twisted, her pupils dilated, and she wanted to pass out. No, she was going to do it right now. You were breaking mirrors. Everywhere you could reach. How could she not notice? There's blood in the cracks that can't be washed away. Damn, did you do that with your bare hand? No, no, no.
"It's my fault."
It took all her strength not to lose the last fragments of her sanity. She honestly didn't understand why. You weren't threatened, you didn't talk to anyone, and you were always under Jinx's supervision. Unless....no. She would never have affected you like that. Jinx held back then and didn't tell you anything. No matter how much Mylo screamed, Claggor was right. This would scare you; she had to act rationally now. She needs to give you time and herself time too. Jinx needs to know the real reason for your behavior. Now she will be even more attentive.
Jinx had no idea then that the broken mirrors were just the tip of a deeper problem.
You rarely dine together, usually having to eat on the run or while working. But today is a special day—your anniversary. You've been together for a year.
Jinx bites her lip, Her nails make an audible sound as they scratch the tray with the rich cake on it. She baked it herself. But right now she's not thinking about the cake or even the anniversary. Jinx can't sleep, can't work, and even explosions don't bring pleasure. What else are you hiding? She's been watching you for weeks now after she found out about your horrible habit, but Jinx still hasn't found out anything new. But there's something else going on with you, something she doesn't know about. She feels it. Mylo chuckled. Jinx hissed. She smiled tensely before starting the conversation.
"We've been together for a long time, haven't we?" She forced herself to smile, but it came out ragged and menacing. "I mean, we're like family now. Do you consider me your family?"
Jinx, trying not to make it too obvious, leaned forward. It looked menacing. You certainly noticed it. She's just trying to keep herself together, not to give away the pressure that's built up inside her.
"Hmm, yes, Jinx, I've told you that many times! You mean a lot to me." You smiled, sincerely as always.
But Jinx doesn't believe you now. No, she just can't. Anxiety, fear, and misunderstanding are eating her up from the inside.
"Good," Jinx sat down on the chair, creaking it closer to the table. "Then let's eat."
But Jinx doesn't even try to start eating, just looking at you. A new thought flashed through her mind. Strangely, despite her obsession with your existence, she's never watched you eat.
"Are you okay? You're looking at me like that," you swallowed nervously. The atmosphere was definitely not friendly.
"Oh, sorry," she didn't even try to put on a happy face this time, "start without me."
You hesitated, looking down at the plate. Jinx carefully cut a small piece of cake and placed it right in front of you. It was fluffy, with lots of cream, and covered in food coloring. It looked beautiful and delicious. You picked up a fork and began to break it into pieces.
"So.. how's your work?" You looked up, suddenly more confident and clearly in high spirits. This confused Jinx. She responded without really thinking. Her gaze was glued to you and your hands. You didn't like it and began to distract her in various ways. This had been going on for ten minutes now, and you still hadn't put a bite in your mouth.
Jinx's eyes, which had been looking at you emotionlessly until now, suddenly narrowed in concern. And you realized. Your seat suddenly became uncomfortable, and the room was hot.
"You don't like it?" Jinx asked quietly, cautiously, almost scared. Shyness, hiding your body behind baggy clothes, breaking mirrors, and not wanting to eat your once favorite cake. Was it ever your favorite? It seemed like the puzzle was coming together in her head.
"What? Oh, no! I'm just not hungry." You were caught off guard. Is this the end? Has she figured it out, and is she going to leave you? Will she be angry or cry? You couldn't stop thinking, going over all the possible reactions Jinx might have. Unfortunately, your girlfriend wasn't stupid. She noticed it was evident on her face. The trick that worked on everyone else had no effect on her.
You can't eat. Every time you eat something like this, your conscience gnaws at you. You want to spit out everything you ate.
"I'm so sorry," was the first thing Jinx said. "I'm sorry; I should have noticed. Are you... is this because of me?" Jinx spoke softly, but there was no hint of tears on her face. There was no emotion at all. You were hurt by what was happening. Any reaction she might give would hurt you.
Jinx is about to explode with emotion. She's trying so hard to be "normal" right now so you can rely on her to open up. It's heartbreaking, but it's having the desired effect, and you're plucking up your courage.
You took a breath. This is going to be hard.
Of course Jinx thought she was just taking shitty care of you, cruelly ignoring your problems and leaving you to suffer alone.
But that's not true. You never shifted responsibility to others, realizing that you were simply insecure in yourself. You certainly met shitty people—more than you wanted. But who in Zaun pays attention to them? You just suffered from constant comparisons to others and couldn't do anything about it. You honestly fought with yourself, your shyness, and other shit that was dragging you down. Jinx only helped you along the way, without realizing it. Every time she proudly held your hand walking along the busy streets, every time she unashamedly said, "Yes, this is my future wife," and every time she ignored the advances of a conventionally beautiful girl.
Your silence and her speculations brought you here.
And yet you came to understand Jinx. How could it be otherwise? She will never let you go.
But you will never want to leave.
"Oh, I'm always here," Jinx hugged you, and you did the same in return. It was a pleasant ending after several hours of relentless altercations. You were silent, whispering, screaming, crying, and didn't understand each other. But now everything became clear.
Jinx, on her yandere side, is not ready to leave everything just like that. Now in your house there is only one whole mirror, specially stolen from Piltover. You often eat together, and Jinx tries to make each meal as relaxed for you as possible so that you simply forget about the food itself. She will definitely not let you go, love you less, judge you, or make the situation better by force. Not with this problem. She will do everything you ask to make you feel better.
Jinx loves you.
In her strange way.
That's all! I hope you haven't forgotten about me 😅 This work is quite short, but I hope I was able to convey the main points and mood.
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#jinx arcane#jinx x fem!reader#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane league of legends#arcane netflix#yandere jinx
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Can you write about a jinchul?? Like reader is chairman's daughter or granddaughter... Likes him.. but he never played much attention to her... She tried to talk out with him... But he says something heartbreaking and she moves on.... Gets married and have her first child( you can make her spouse any s rank character). And he started to think what could have been life if he had been in her husband's place.
` ` That should be me. ` `
[ ☆ Jinchul x f!reader ]
[ ☆ As the chairman's daughter, you know all the people working for him pretty well. Your eyes were on a particular man, the Chief Inspector, but after he made it clear there wasn't gonna be anything between you, you move on. As time passes, he starts to wonder.. had he made a mistake? ]
[ ☆ Requested by: anon! ]
[ ☆ Notes: possibly ooc Jinchul ]
"Good morning, Jinchul!" Your cheerful voice rang trough the room as the man you liked so much entered. You couldn't help the big smile on your face as you looked at him. You couldn't imagine a man more handsome.
"Good morning," he replied. His tone was cordial and his voice emotionless, which saddened you a bit, but you knew he was like this with everyone.
Your gaze followed him without you noticing. "So.." you spoke up, trying to start a conversation. "I was wondering if after you're done with your work, you wanted to come to dinner with me?"
"I'm quite busy today," he replied simply.
"Oh.. what about tomorrow?"
"Busy."
"And the day after?
"...you really cannot take a hint."
Your eyes widened upon hearing those words. You knew he was never affectionate with you, or gave any hints that he liked you too, but you still hoped you had a chance..
"W.. What?" You questioned in confusion, unable to stop your lips from quivering slightly. "I just thought-"
"You shouldn't have thought anything."
Those blunt words seemed to make your heart stop. You froze in place, and your gaze darkened. "O... Oh..." was all you managed to mutter out.
"I apologize, but I don't want to do anything else with you outside of work."
Despite his tone being the same as usual, it somehow hit different. You turned your head so that he couldn't see the small tears welling up in your eyes and you nodded. "I... I understand.." you said, hoping your voice didn't crack.
Four years have passed since that incident. Rejection hurt, but you managed to move on with your life as usual. It was strange for everyone else that the more cheerful demeanor you always showed near Jinchul seemingly disappeared within the matter of a few days, but eventually everyone got accustomed to it.
And, meanwhile, you caught the eyes of a certain S-rank hunter, the fire user Choi Jong-In.
After a few years of dating, he proposed to you on a bright summer day, and you couldn't have been happier. You thought you just didn't have any luck with love after Jinchul's rejection, but he proved you wrong.
It was a day like any other. Jinchul was just finishing up when he saw his superior on the hallway, seeming even happier than usual and wearing what was probably the fanciest suit he'd ever seen.
"What's the occasion?" He asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at the Chairman.
"Oh, Jinchul! You haven't heard?" Gunhee questioned. "[Y/N] is getting married."
Married? Why hadn't he heard about that?
It shouldn't have ticked him off.. why would he hear about it? But for some reason, it irritated him.
"That's nice," he eventually replied. "I wish her a good wedding."
And oh boy, was it a good wedding. It couldn't have been any better. You had fun with all your friends, your father, and, of course, your new husband.
Just two years later you'd end up having your first child together, a baby boy.
Your life was wonderful. Perfect, even.
Then your father died.
Jinchul softly knocked on the door to your house. It'd been a while since he saw you, and this wasn't exactly the situation he wanted to meet you. Neat black suit, flowers in hand.. he'd only come to say his condolences.
The door opened to reveal you, and he frowned slightly at your state. Messy hair which you had no energy to brush, dark circles under your eyes, and clothes that were clearly pyjamas.
"Oh.. Jinchul.." you greeted him weakly. "I didn't expect to see you."
"I wanted to give you this.." he began, holding out the bouquet toward you. "I'm.. sorry about your father."
Despite him trying to maintain his composure, his own voice cracked slightly with grief.
You took the bouquet from him. "Thank you, but.. you really didn't need to."
"Please." he put his hand in yours gently, hoping it gave some sense of comfort. "I didn't want you to feel like you're alone."
"Oh, thank you, Jinchul, but.." for the first time, a small smile crept onto your face. "My husband makes sure I don't feel alone."
An unusual pang of jealousy hit him at your words. The fact he wasn't the one there to comfort you and make sure you were okay..
Then, he noticed the small figure making its way toward you from behind. Once it came into view, he realized it was a small child, having the red hair of his father, but those beautiful eyes certainly came from his mother.
The boy stared at him for a few moments with wide, curious eyes. "Mama.." he mumbled, clutching the fabric of your clothing. "Who's that.?"
The fact you never talked about him to your child was not surprising, yet for some reason it still made him a little disappointed.
The way you looked at your child, hiding the fact there was anything wrong so he wouldn't feel sad or worried..
"Oh, just an old friend, sweetie."
And his jealousy only worsened. He wished you didn't need to call him 'just an old friend'. He wanted you to call him your husband, the father of your kid.
But, of course, only he was to blame.
"Well, I'm gonna go now." He stepped back, taking one last look at you. "Bye, [Y/N]."
You nodded and said goodbye to him, going back inside and closing the door once he left.
And as he drifted farther from your home, he could only think of one thing which weighed heavy on his heart.
He'd made a mistake.
A/N: so much solo leveling content ahh x_x not like im complaining lol just a lil surprised! Not too proud of this one but i hope it's atleast enjoyable! Take this as my gift for halloween ig :D
#solo leveling#solo leveling x reader#solo leveling x y/n#solo leveling x you#solo leveling jinchul#woo jinchul#jinchul x reader#woo jinchul x reader#jinchul x y/n#woo jinchul x y/n#jinchul x you#woo jinchul x you#x reader#x y/n#x you
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My baby. (Dark! Ex! Wanda Maximoff x reader)
Prologue
Summary: you are Wanda's ex and you broke up with her a long time ago. Then Wanda decides it's a good idea to become your neighbor and take her baby back, one way or another.
Warnings: this is a dark! Serie about Wanda Maximoff that will contain dark themes such as violence, breaking in, non-con and similar stuff in the future chapters. Every chapter will have its own warnings to be safe. This is pure fiction and this character does not belong to me. Minors are NOT allowed, only +18. Any kind of interactions such as reblogs, comments or likes are much welcome and appreciated. 🤎
Prologue warnings: breaking inside, little use of magic.
"I'm home!" you exclaimed with a smile on your face, closing the door behind you. You were happy to be back, you had a wonderful surprise for your roommate. You were sure that she hadn't suspected anything, after all you hadn't mentioned anything in these weeks and you knew how difficult it was. You had lost count of how many gifts and surprises you had ruined because you often spoke before thinking out of excitement.
But this time you didn't think, as you walked briskly towards the living room. The lights were on, she was surely sitting there on the couch watching some movie. You were already anticipating the scene. Your smile quickly dropped as the gift bag slipped from your hand and fell to the floor. The personalized mug inside had surely broken into a thousand pieces, but that was now the least of your problems.
Your roommate was lying there, apparently asleep, but you knew that wasn't the case. Not when Wanda was sitting on the other side of the couch with her arms crossed, then looking straight into your eyes. She had a small smile on her face, sly and arrogant you would say, but you could see all the hatred hidden behind her eyes. You were together, as teenagers, a long time ago. Wanda had lost everything, you too: you had regained everything and left Wanda behind, and Wanda had lost what was left of her, left with total nothingness. Considering that you had left her too. Or at least, that was what Wanda thought; in reality, your version would have been very different from hers, but you weren't really sure she wanted to hear it and even less that she was interested. "What are you doing in my house?" your own cold tone surprised you. It was as if someone else was talking to you and you didn't know how your knees could still hold up. But Wanda wasn't stupid, she could feel how your heart was beating like crazy, this still allowed her to act arrogant. She stood up from your couch and walked over to your boyfriend’s sleeping form, approaching you and freely ignoring your question.
“Is this your house? Our apartment was better.” It was a suggestion, obviously. It wasn’t the first time Wanda had tried to make you change your mind and tell you that the two of you were meant to be together, and at first you believed it. The first, the second and even the third time. Then you finally realized that she would tell you anything and lie shamelessly just to have you back by her side and reduce you to an object again.
You had loved that woman, but it was over. And she had to understand that.
“No, this house is better, with my roommate who I sincerely hope will wake up soon.” You made a suggestion and she immediately took it, laughing in your face.
“She’ll be fine, I just put her to sleep... I wanted to be alone with you, I missed you.” she said playing with your hair, and you could almost see the sincerity in her now slightly sad face. But you couldn't fall for it again and you had certainly been through too much because of her.
"But I haven't missed you, Wanda. Get out of my house."
You had caught her attention now, her fingers slowly stopped playing with your hair finally letting it go. Now you saw the real Wanda. Her hateful gaze with a red aura was intensely scrutinizing you and you swore they could see much more than your eyes or your face. Her eyes immediately became clear again and Wanda gave you a sweet smile, waving her right hand and using her magic. You remembered what that magic had done to you, you still had the scars.
"I can also go out, after all we will see each other every day. It's a pleasure to meet you again, neighbor!" she teased you giggling, then walking out of your door without you even accompanying her. You stood there in shock, standing numb in the doorway to the living room, watching the front door close and then the couch, where your roommate was now starting to wake up.
The nightmare had begun again.
#dark marvel#dark avengers#dark wanda maximoff#dark wanda#dark wanda x reader#dark wanda maximoff x reader#dark! wanda maximoff#dark scarlet witch x reader#dark scarlet witch#yandere scarlet witch#yandere wanda maximoff#yandere wanda#yandere wanda maximoff x reader#dark wanda serie
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the privilege of being born to be a man
Pairing: Alastor/Lucifer
Rating: G
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Genderfluid Alastor (his egg is cracking), Demiromantic Asexual Alastor, Colorblind Alastor, snippets of human!Alastor, slight TWs for internalized transphobia
A/N: Honestly, I just wanted to write Alastor trying on a dress and starting to realize he's Not Cis, but then I got Emotional about it. I like to headcanon Lucifer is agender and just plays fast and loose with femininity and mascuilinity, and this is just the perfect catalyst for Alastor's own little gender journey. Anyways, enjoy some snippets from Alastor's life as a human here as well! Title is from I / Me / Myself by Will Wood!
On his more feminine days, Lucifer takes forever to get ready. Alastor's fairly certain most of the time is spent just picking out an outfit, as if he can't just summon the perfect pieces with the wave of a hand. It can be a bit irritating when they have somewhere they need to be, especially since Lucifer never seems to know in advance when he's going to want to spend an hour or two trying to be the prettiest man in Hell. As if he wasn't already.
Today was one of those days, and Alastor was busying himself with some light reading as he waited for Lucifer to be ready. At least they didn't have anywhere important to be for a while.
“Alastor,” Lucifer calls, finally emerging from the bathroom. “What do you think? I haven't tried this style before, but I thought it looked nice in those old catalogues.”
Alastor looks up, and he must say, he's impressed. The dress Lucifer has picked is a vintage 1940s-style dress, mostly white, but patterned with small yellow flowers. It does look rather stunning on him, and as Lucifer gives a little twirl to make the skirt spin out around him, Alastor can't help but think he was made for outfits like this. Some part of him idly wishes, not for the first time, that he had the same freedom Lucifer did in that regard.
“Absolutely stunning, dear,” Alastor responds. “I do so envy your ability to pull off such lovely outfits.”
Lucifer gives him a warm smile. “Y'know, you could always join me. Bet I could whip up the perfect dress for you.”
Alastor looks away, a bit conflicted. In his time, it was rather unheard of for men to dress in women's clothing. Those who did were certainly not treated well. Part of him had always wanted to try it, envying his mother and the ladies from their church in all their pretty dresses and skirts. But he had pushed the feeling down, the shame of how he'd be perceived enough to keep him off the idea.
Now, of course, there isn't really anything stopping him. Except for this odd feeling that it's perfectly fine for someone like Lucifer or Angel Dust to play fast and loose with masculinity and femininity, but not for him to do the same.
“No, I don’t think so!” he replies, voice a bit tight. “I don't doubt your design skills, but I do doubt I'd make quite as pretty a picture as you do.” He's deflecting, and he's certain Lucifer can tell.
“Aw, c'mon! It's really fun! Plus, it can be just for us. You don't have to go out in it if you don't feel comfortable. I just think you might like it if you tried it.”
“I don't know…”
“We can design the dress however you want! I'm sure there's a style out there you'd just die to get your hands on.”
And there is. Alastor can picture the dress he'd ask for perfectly in his head, as if he's already got it in front of him. If nothing else, I could at least keep it as a memento…
“All right,” he agrees with a sigh. “You truly do live up to your reputation as the master of temptation, don't you?”
Keep Reading
#hazbin hotel#radioapple#hazbin lucifer#hazbin alastor#alastor x lucifer#lucifer x alastor#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#alastor hazbin hotel#appleradio#x#my writing#hellaverse
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I would actually have to look deeper into this, but let's say that it's NOT exactly unusual to use names from production members. My favourite thing to dive into was how the parents of the children were named after some of the voice actors.
Yuuko Mizutani (Sora's and Yuuko's Japanese VA): Yuuko Yagami, Taichi's mother
Toshiko Fujita (Taichi's and Toshiko's Japanese VA): Toshiko Takenouchi, Sora's mother
Kae Araki (Hikari's and Kae's Japanese VA): Kae Izumi, Koushirou's mother
Masami Kikuchi (Jyou's, Jyou's brothers' and Masami's Japanese VA): Masami Izumi, Koushirou's father
I was looking up names for a Digimon/Pokemon fandom swap. Since Ash and Gary are named after real people in Japan, I wanted to incorporate that element. And while I was looking up anime staff-
"Daisuke". Hey, where have I heard that name before? Oh. Yeah.
Interestingly, Daisuke Kawakami only did planning on 02, and wasn't a producer. Not sure how much of a demotion this is in the anime industry, or if it is one at all. But he was definitely still working on the show. Not sure if Motomiya was actually named after Kawakami but it seems likely.
@seventeenlovesthree @shihalyfie Was this officially confirmed anywhere, or is this just a Game Theory?
(Also bonus- "Taichiro Fujiyama" might have funneled into the teacher character Mr. Fujiyama. I know his name wasn't the inspiration for Tai's though- that's the V-Tamer manga.)
#i haven't looked into anything else but i really do loved these#voica actors#digimon#digimon adventure#trivia#yuko mizutani#toshiko fujita#kae araki#masami kikuchi
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Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.
#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me#i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu#to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately.#i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked#but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago#so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer#and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones'#who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get#she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is#that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist#i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry)#and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because#i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'(#like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy#of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with#i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless#but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it
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heyheyhey. do you guys wanna know a secret :}
#a reason i like yoimiya so much; especially compared to other fem characters; is because she has more obvious proof of a journey through-#-femininity. this is also a reason i like shikimori so much!#becaus etheres an entire episode where we learn about shikimori's journey through femininity#she is such a major reason i realized that i need to go on one myself#and yoimiya idk. like. i don't really care much for genshin lore BAHAHAHAH#and i haven't looked at her voice lines in a bit but#idk. she just. theres a lot more to her than there is in canon idc she's more than what she was made to be and i love her for that!!!!#but yea elaborating on honestly not usually liking fem characters as much as masc ones. even though i dont even like guys im a lesbian JDSF#but it's because they're all made just to be people. and i lvoe all hte characters i love#but i feel like so many fem characters could be so much more than they were given the chance to be if there was a hint of a journey in her#so many just feel too hollow; especially compared to the masc characters they interact with#shikimori by herself was just a fun character. a strong girl who enjoyed being soft#but getting the background of she did karate because her brother did; she left because her brother did; she followed every trend because-#-everyone else did; she kept her hair short because her brother did; she never did anythign her brother didn't explicitly do or tell her to#and then one day he told her to be more. and so she decided to be more.#idk i just think more fem and honestly masc characters should have hints of a journey through any sort of identity!!#whether it be gender or sexuality or general personality or presentation via fashion or anything!!!!!#show me them at a young malleable age and show me them growing out of that and becoming a beautiful person but beautiful in a way only THEY#-could be. and while we didn't get that for yoimiya#i can stillfeel it. maybe im just making stuff up but. like i said earlier; she feels like so much more than the canon made her to be#adn i really love that :)#i should sleep soon but i just got my spotify workin again and catabolic seed is playingg#i lov eyou all <3#thank you for reading my rant haha#:shroom is typing...#:shroomiya:#kisses kisses!! <3
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📽 action!: rank all six of the films (or three if you're a hater)
Answers for this LotR ask-game.
Ahh okay so at this point I have to confess something terrible: I still have not seen the third Hobbit movie. I'm sorry! I just couldn't do it. The fuckery of it all, especially in the second movie with Mirkwood and Thranduil and Legolas ("a lowly Silvan elf" what the FUCK what the fuck PJ WHAT THE FUCK), was just too much for me. Character-assassination is one thing, and I thought after Denethor I knew what I was going to be getting with Thranduil but NOPE! It was literal world building assassination and I just CANNOT.
Don't get me wrong, Lee Pace did an amazing job and actually seeing Mirkwood was amazing and it was genuinely delightful to see Orlando put those ears on again; but the OuTrAgE that filled my heart at the yeet-ing of what minimal canon we even have for the Mirkwood elves was just intolerable, and while I did mean to go see it, really I did, I just...couldn't actually get the motivation to go before it was out of theatres. I've heard the EE are better (less studio fuckery) so I'll watch them someday! Honest! I just...haven't. yet.
And as to the Lord of the Rings trilogy...man, I don't even know how to do this. In terms of which is the best film, or in terms of which one I enjoy watching most, or in terms of which on hits me in the heart hardest or...? I don't know if I can objectively rank my feelings about these movies even in my own brain because RotK ends with Into the West and I have FeelingsTM about the Undying Lands and Sea Longing okay. So the last scene of RotK at the Grey Havens is a fucking spear through the heart every time and I can't even describe the knot of feelings it engenders, and I think overall TTT may be my favorite but also it has Plot Issues that piss me off even more than the Plot Issues in RotK I think,...yeah, we're going to do this in terms of Film Crafting rather than personal favorites because I'm having too many feelings lmao. So! In order of most-well-done-movie to least:
Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
Return Of The King
The Desolation of Smaug
An Unexpected Journey
#look there are some REALLY LOVELY MOMENTS in the hobbit movies#(all three of them; i've seen enough stuff floating around the internet to know that even about the one i haven't actually seen lmao)#but the ratio of beautiful moments to what-the-fuckery is just so skewed to the latter#and the cartoonish unreality of most of the effects do NOT help#it's like somebody watched the mumakil bit from rotk and went ''more of that but dial it up to eleventy-one!'' and i just...#do y'all know how FUCKING EXCITED i was to see the White Council???#to see GALADRIEL?#to see sauron thrown out of dol guldur? TO SEE THE WHITE COUNCIL!???#because as soon as i heard ''three movies'' i knew I KNEW (i hoped) that they had to be adding that it#because how the fuck else were they going to pad-out that tiny little book into three whole movies? OBVIOUSLY with the white council!!!#and then...we got a chase scene in the mines that made the podracing look like it deserved an oscar#and the most cringe-inducingly-artificial cgi armies at war that i think i've ever seen even IN video games#it was like watching galactic battlegrounds middle-earth edition wtf#did y'all literally just make one elf and one dwarf and copy-past them a million times into the scene wtffffff#but i still need to make it clear that i DO love the good bits that's what makes the bad parts hurt so much!#like: does the fact that the elves coming to helm's deep make no sense and also VANISH from the plot as soon as it's over irritate me? YES!#but the battle itself is filmed with so much HEART that i don't care I DON'T CARE#i still cheer at ''no orc horn'' i still weep at haldir's death (GODS that MUSIC!) i still watch the whole thing RAPT and ENTHRALLED#but 80% of the hobbit's actions scenes don't DO anything they're just empty pixels with less purpose than the droid factory on geonosis#and there should be SO MUCH HEART because that's WHAT TOLKIEN IS auuuughhhhhh#and the fact that they missed the entire fucking EVERYTHING about MIRKWOOD of all fucking places...! UGH#DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING THESE ACTORS WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THESE ROLES IF THEY'D ACTUALLY BEEN FILMING THIS STORY??? PJ WHY!#lotr movies#hobbit movies#middle earth asks
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Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0
#LOV giant nasturtium leaves#and they press weirdly thin like when they dry out it's almost like a super super fragile sheet of tracing paper or something#I also just really enjoy collecting textures and patterns and stuff. like it's not really about them looking pretty but more just#something notable. like the cool dotted pattern or the stripey veiny looking one#I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year but have been so unproductive still lol ToT#I've had new costumes and like Actual Stuff To Post for probably 2 months now but they just sit in a folder and I forget about#them and like walk in circles talking to myself all day instead or something hhh#I think it's the classic cycle of like 'I am too stressed to be productive > the fact that i'm not being productive stresses me out > i am#even more stressed and no more productive > being unproductive stresses me out > so on and so forth forever' lol#or the 'I have so many goals in life and so much motivation and so many things I love and want to do > there are too many things to do#at once and it's overwhelming > do none of them instead' cycle lol#I think my main focuses in the new year though are to finally finish the worldbuilding slideshow. Do more costumes. And do more sculptures#since I haven't done a lot of those in a while. And still work on my games and short stories and stuff that takes place in my worldbuilding#world but those are more difficult longterm tasks so I think they should be like. not the MAIN main focus or else I'll never feel like I do#anything. I think that was the problem for the past while is that the things I had delegated as my Main Focuses That Go Above All Else#are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you#could be doing in favor of a thing that feels like you're not doing anything thus you get a chronic feeling of never finishing anything ever#Whereas like. I can do a sculpture in a day or two. and I can do costumes in a day or less. Having a steadier flow of Small Things i can fee#l like I'm actually accomplishing will maybe help it not just be like 'okay I spent a whole day doing somehting and have nothing tangible to#show for it because it's just text in a word document that probably nothing will ever even come of because it will take me years to finish'#The biggest insurmountable task at the moment is the worldbuilding slideshow but I am chugging through.. slowly lol.. It takes me about#2 hours to read 25 slides (they're not bullet points it's like little paragraphs on each slide). and I have about 800 to go. so thats..#naur.. i shant even calculate it... plus editing one hour of vidoe usually takes about 2 hours so you double it. if I have that much recordi#ng of me reading slides to edit. then turning them all into a final video should take.... i cannot say. i shall not think of it#And I've just had a very stressful few weeks HOWEVER I just always like tp start the new year with stuff cleared like.. all of my messages I#haven't answered in 3+ weeks responded to. all of my emails to my doctors checked. house cleaned and organized. photos cleared and organized#off of the computer. everyting backed up in some sort of physical storage. clear out drafts. rewrite all of my main todo lists. decide prio#rities and yearly/monthly/weekly goals. consider the trajectory of my life and what I need to do. etc. etc. So I feel like I don't have any#time to waste and can't rest. yet.. alas.. It doesn't help that I feel sick out of nowehre like 50% of the time#I know some poeple can work/focus on tasks with body aches and etc. but my brain is just always like 'No. :)' .. grrrbb
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#vent post#day job has cut my hours to 4h or less per week#I haven't had an audition since summer or been on set since july#and the stuff i try to self submit too either change the role completely (like change gender or age range)-#or just never respond to my messages#even on messenger they didn't even bother to look!#so frustrating#there is next to no better job opportunities here#and i can't really afford to either buy a car or move closer to a city- cause you know- I'm not making any money!#like i feel stuck no matter what i do#quit current job and maybe end up doing the same damn thing dealing with the same problems + new ones#move out and struggle to live on my own or move in with a random ass roommate just to get by#stay with the current job and settle for less then bare minimum#i'm sick of fast food but it's the only thing i know and they only thing available here#i already tried to quit to focus on just acting but it's not possible with no income#i don't know what to do#i'm miserable- i'm exhausted#i stay up all night and sleep all day now and spend my waking hours stressed about this shit or just sitting here too tired to do anything#and the kicker is I'm kind dreading Halloween and my bday this cause i have no one to spend it with#i get it people are busy that's how it goes- but i just know my birthday will get ignored or go unnoticed#it happened last year- someone else had the same birthday and they were getting lots of love#yet i got nothing- the same people who are also my 'friends' they gave them love but said nothing to me -not a fb post or a message- nothin#made me feel so worthless#so lonely you know#i try to go online to make myself feel better or distract for a bit#and i keep seeing people suffer from stuff i can never comprehend asking for help and I can't help them#and i fell guilt for even being miserable while i have a roof over my head and food to eat and they lost everything#guilt shame anger you name it#it's just horrible#my post.
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In denial maybe
#They said in ten years. Ten years so he can't die this book#Noo he's just going to go prof and that's why he's on the news no one's dying in the third book also#Because i said so and definitely haven't seen anything saying otherwise#No memes and no sad posts about grief and trees and fuck i should stop my habit of looking things up on here huh?#Look. This guy isn't going to die in a car crash i don't think. So that's someone else who dies This book. Because that's implied i'd say#They'll find something else for the third i'm sure :))))#Who am i kidding i'll probably be devastated by the third either way i just can't believe they'd actually kill him yk.#Like how#How?? You can't just do that#And people still love the series? I say you can't and accept to probably be proven wrong and like. Bawl my eyes out or something idk#sayingthing#I still truly believe this despite seeing what i've seen people say. Like really i do but also i'm in pain lol because i also don't! :))#By now i've seen implications of it not bei g this book or the third#Idc i know nothing for sure#Sure picked a series here
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Hmmmmm I love being mentally ill
#manager told me yesterday 'i really need you to work on greeting people'#so i finally said smth about my anxiety#(i haven't said anything in the last few weeks he keeps bringing this up but i have told him a few months ago)#but i said basically 'i know and im trying but i have bad anxiety and its been getting worse the last few weeks'#and he said. pretty much. 'ok yeah i get it. just do it anyway tho.'#which is basically what he said before#like??? bro i would LOVE to just do it. just get over it and deal with it. that's not how it works tho#he was like yeah well you dont have to talk much just say hi welcome#YEAH MAN!!! maybe that would tell you how bad the anxiety is!!! bc ive been struggling with that!! that is apparently so simple and easy!!!#so he hasn't said anything yet today. not many customers have been in yet.#i asked one person who was looking at the case if they wanted anything#and ik he saw me do that#and someone else came in and i looked up and smiled and he said hi to me first and i said hi back#which is still not what im supposed to do lol but its a lot for me#but i dont think the manager saw that#so :)) apparently he stayed late yesterday so hes leaving early tomorrow#hey king why dont you leave early today#also. my ingredients are ordered but not here. so im just making stuff that hasnt been ordered#again. not what im supposed to do. but what else am i gonna do??????#ALSO. yesterday i thought i was running low on cake boards. so i ordered them. today i find them in the back#i went to take it off the order. they already bought them. whatever ill use them eventually#but that was why other stuff didn't get ordered soon enough bc i could've sworn there was more. then i realize there's not#so this time i assume there's not more. then there is. and now we're gonna have a bunch extra#WHATEVER!!!#i have to go back now ive been in the bathroom too long skfhks#she was a baker girl
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𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡
→ premise: logan was obsessed, he was from the moment he met you. he didn’t get crushes, but you’ve turned the big bad wolverine into a depraved puppy and he’s had enough.
→ pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader
→ warnings: 2k words, smut | 18+, obsession [not dark, just like a big crush, idk how to actually write obsession well], belly bulge, unprotected sex, nicknames [baby, princess, pretty girl], creampie, I visualized like x1-3 logan when writing but you can imagine whichever logan era.
→ a/n: kinktober 09
Logan was utterly obsessed, entranced by your entire being. If he didn’t already know what your mutation was, he'd swear you were a witch that cast a love spell on him so he goes starry eyed and dulcet when you walk in a room. He wasn't the kind of man to get crushes, he did one night stands to satiate his needs and yet now he can't bring himself to want anybody but you.
You and your pretty eyes that sparkle when you look at him and flutter your eyelashes to get what you want. You and your tendency to brush against him or run your hand down his arm when you walk around him making his brain go fuzzy and getting him all flustered. The whole team could see how smitten and enthralled he was with you, mocking him and calling him a love sick puppy especially when you go away on mission and he mopes around the mansion. He’s had enough of the little flirting back and forth and nothing coming of it, he was desperate for you and his crush was only getting stronger as the months went on.
You had just gotten back from a short mission with Storm and Jean when before you could even say hi to everybody Logan is grabbing your hand and pulling you away down the hall. “eh- hey! Lo slow down” you squeal out as he drags you along behind him, heart racing at the feeling of his fingers intertwined with your own. The nickname you've resorted to calling him as the two of you have gotten closer makes his ears ring. He loved when you called him Lo you were the only one allowed to, anybody else who tired got glared at.
“Need to talk to ya’ now, right now” he grumbled out, his signature, you swore permanent grumpy scowl plastered on his face. He continues to tug you down the long hall towards your bedroom. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion at where he's taking you. Pushing open your door, he turns around and yanks you inside. Shutting the door, his body now facing you. His grip on your hand is still tight, he didnt wanna let go especially not when you haven't said anything about the fact he’s practically holding your hand.
“What is it? Is everything okay Lo?” You question in that sweet concerned voice you give him when he tells you he didn't sleep well because of another nightmare. “Do you want me?” He blurts out so fast the words practically blend together. You think you hear his question and it makes your head spin in more confusion but you needed him to repeat it. “What’d you say” you question as your gaze stays fixed on Logan, his own glued to your face watching for reactions. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves he starts again “Do you want me?” He questions in a slower softer tone.
Now your head really was spinning and slick settled in your core at his wording, he wasn't asking if you liked him, no he was asking if you WANTED him. your eyes that were on him are now darting around the room like it's the most fascinating thing. Through the fogginess of your brain all you can manage to eat out is a “What..?”
Pushing forward Logan backs your body up against your shut bedroom door, his frame looming over you and blocking you in. The hand that is not entangled with yours comes up to your chin to grab it and make you look at him. “Do. You. Want. Me? I'm not repeatin’ myself again pretty girl” he growls out, punching out each word of his question. He was losing his patience especially after the sweet scent of your arousal fills his nostrils and makes his cock twitch. “Cause i want you princess, have wanted you for fuckin’ months. And it's killing me, you’re killin’ me pretty girl” he groans out in frustration.
“Do you even know what you do to me? What my crush on you is doin’ to me princess? All our flirting and lingering looks, everybody always mocking me for how I act round you” he continues to ramble on, pulling your face closer to his as he waits on an answer to at least one of his questions.
“Yes..i want you Lo” you mumble out breathlessly and low. A big lopsided smirk spreads on Logan’s face as your words register in his head. “What was that baby?” He teases, needing you to repeat it just so he can hear it again.
“I want you Logan, really fucking bad” you whine out as your core aches for attention, your hips gravitate towards his to push against him. “Shit- fuck it” he groans out and grabs ahold of your waist and crashes his lips agaisnt yours, he knew the two of you should’ve gone back to the team. You needed to give Charles a debrief of the mission but Logan could care less at the moment. You kiss him with the same amount of passion and fever as your arms wrap around his neck pressing your chest to his. You hum and moan into the kiss sending vibrations through Logan’s body and straight to his confined cock that was begging to be released. “Jump and wrap ya’ legs around me baby” he instructed, his words mumbled against your lips but clear enough for you to understand. Jumping up a bit, Logan catches you by grabbing onto your ass as your legs wrapped around his waist. “Atta girl princess” you smile against his lips at the praise while he walks the two of you over to your plush bed.
Laying you down on your back, he keeps his body between your spread thighs as his mouth pulls away from yours and drifts down to kiss at your neck. His hard cock pressed right up against your leaking cunt in this position, his large hands rubbing and groping all over your body. Running over your hips and waist, palming over your tits and grabbing at your ass, anywhere his hands can reach, indulging in the fact you're allowing him to touch you like this. “Mhmm Lo, baby please i need you” you whine out and buck your hips against his, grinding your core against his bulge. “Yeah? Whatcha need baby? Huh princess? Use your words” he doesnt pull away from your neck, continuously kissing it and along your collarbones and chest as you were wearing a low cut top, even sucking and biting at your skin to form hickeys.
”Need you, need you to fuck me Lo please” you whimper out and tug at the wasit band of his jeans as well as push up at his white tank top. “Yeah i can do that baby fuck” he grunts out and sucks in a breath, a shiver going down his back when you strach at his lower stomach and happy trail. The feeling of your hands on his bare skin makes his body tingle and skin feel on fire.
His movements are frantic as he is quick to strip off his shirt and yours. Pulling your pants down and off your legs alongside your panties, leaving your bare pussy exposed to the cool air. “Oh fuck~ shes so pretty” he mumbled out under his breath seemingly to himself, you werent sure if it was aimed at your cunt or you. in his haste he just barely pushes his jeans and boxers down enough to free his cock. His throbbing cock springs free, making you gasp at his size, he didn't feel nearly as big when it was hidden as he looks now. His cock long and so deliciously thick that it has your mouth watering wanting a taste. You knew your jaw would burn to accommodate his size; you couldn't imagine your cunt fitting him. “Lo i don't know if it’ll fit” you whine out, looking into his lust blown eyes with concern.
“Pretty girl if you’re as wet as ya’ smell i’ll slip right in” he chuckles softly, grabbing himself at the base and nudging his mushroom tip to open your slit and rub it through your soaked folds. Your slick collects and mixes with the precum leaking from his cock lubing up his shaft and tip. Your hole clenches around nothing everytime he brushes over it making your hips twitch and thrust up trying to get him to push inside already.
“Mmm Lo..please just fuck me already” you whine out and squirm. His brows furrowed in concentration, gaze locked on where your bodies meet, trying his hardest not to already blow his load as he lines his tip up at your entrance. Just rubbing over your pussy with his cock was causing his balls to tighten, your pussy felt heavenly and addicting. This moment was 10 times better than any of the hundreds of wet dreams he had late at night where he’d wake up with a wet spot forming in his sweats.
He lets out a broken gasp that morphs into a string of curses when he finally slowly pushes into the wet heat of your cunt. “Oh fuck~ shes already squeezin’ me so tight baby” he grunts as he finally bottoms out buried to the hilt, his hips wasting no time in finding a rymth and thrusting deep inside you. the sting of your pussy stretching to take his cock makes your head go hazy, eyes screwing shut in bliss.
You clench around him and Logan cant stop himself from thrusting harder and faster, a slurred pussy-drunk mess of sentences fall from his mouth.
“Fuck youre so hot princess, s’good for me” “Cant believe ya’ letting me do this to you, fuckin’ you like this” “Dreamt’ bout’ this for so long, been fuckin’ obsessed with ya’ for forever” he whines out in a long run on setenace as his hips slam against yours, the filthy squelching sound of your cunt and your moans and whimpers fill the air in your room. You didn't care that you were being loud enough that anyone who walked past your door would definitely hear you and know what was going on. the knowledge of that seemed to be spurring both you and Logan on more.
His eyes are locked at where your bodies are connected, his cock creating a bulge in your lower stomach every time he thrusts all the way in. “Fuck baby, look at that, my cock s’big its making a bulge when im buried inside” he groans out and presses down on your lower stomach making your cunt clench down harder on him, your body trying to milk his release out of him. Tipping your head down you open your eyes to watch as his cock thrusts in and out of your throbbing pussy, his tip driving right into that spot deep inside you making you see stars. That spongy spot that your toys could never reach just right when Logan would get you all worked up with his flirting, not like his cock currently is.
“M’gonna cum Lo- baby, Fuck- mhm~ wanna cum with you please” you moan out, your sentence coming out broken up as your climax was teetering on the edge. “Im gonna cum too baby don’t worry pretty girl” he hissed out as his fingers dig into your hips, his own flattering in there thrusting as his cock twitches inside you. “Cum on my cock princess, gonna fill this pretty up makin’ it all mine-” you cut off his sentence by grabbing ahold of the back of his neck, pulling his face down to kiss him desperately.
“Already all yours Lo, i been yours the whole time” you whine against his lips as your high washes over you, cumming on his cock as his thrusts speed up one last time.
Your cream coating his cock acts to further lube up his thick cock as it jackhammers into you, before your cunt milks Logan’s cum out of him in thick ropes that fill you. “Ya’ 100 percent all mine now baby” he hums into your mouth, lazily kissing you while he catches his breath, your hips grinding on his cock as you both ride out your highs.
→ a/n: fully meant to post this yesterday but i barely had anything written for it then and couldnt bring myself to write more. Im doing better than I’ve done the past 3 years with kinktober tho, gotten further than any other times.
#lostalioth kinktober#kinktober day 9#kinktober 2024#wolverine smut#logan howlett drabble#logan howlett oneshot#logan howlett fic#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett x you#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett blurb#logan howlett headcanon#logan howlett hc#wolverine x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine x you#x men wolverine#wolverine imagine#wolverine blurb#wolverine drabble#wolverine fic#wolverine headcanons#wolverine x y/n#wolverine x female reader
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