#i haven't had motivation to write for months don't ask me why but i didn't wanna force it

[t0yac1d]

OKAY, GREAT. SOOOOOOJRNDNEJE LIKE JEALOUS EDDIE? (I've been on a jealous binge lately 😭) you and steve have been getting close recently and he's been flirting with you.. (GASP! but you're dating Eddie 😦.) And you always roll your eyes at it pushing him away from you while you laugh not thinking much of it. but then eddie overhears steve talking about you in a"The things I would do to her man, to bad Eddie got her before me." and he's like had enough so smutty time!!! and he js marks you up and everything for stevie to seeee.

Always Forver (E.Munson x F!Reader)

Warnings: smut, jealous sex, marking, biting, praise, hair pulling

Word Count: 1,305

Notes: I'm gonna be completely honest, idk how to really write Eddie's character so please pray that I don't fuck this up! I'm also deeply sorry for the extremely long delay, I haven't been motivated to write much, AND I don't remember the names of Steve's friends from season 1 so I chose random names.

Notes (2x): I'm back from hiatus! I've been working hard these past couple of months but I am back now! Also, I will be posting a story soon AAAHHHH I'll be sure to post info of it here and where you can read it if you're interested!

You've never thought anything of it, the way Steve treated you; how he touched you, spoke to you, cared for you. You thought he was just being the good friend that he is. You never paid any attention to the words he said to you, his flirtatious nature is almost natural to him and a part of who he is, so you thought he was just being himself. You'd brush off his words and lightly push him away with a chuckle each time.

"Babe, I just don't like the way he openly flirts you. He knows we're dating; he just doesn't care." Eddie sulked as he watched you take a shot.

The two of you were attending a party; a party your good ol' friend Steve was throwing.

You caressed his face and wrapped one of his curls around your finger, "It's nothing, he's like that to everyone. His words have no weight." You then gave him a smile and kissed his cheek before walking off. You walked past Steve and gave him little wave before meeting up with Nancy and Robin.

Eddie let out a little huff and shrugged the weary feeling off. He trusts you, and if you say that Steve's words mean absolutely nothing, then they mean absolutely nothing.

He walked to the fridge, grabbing another beer when he overheard something he wish he didn't.

"Did you see how her ass just looked in that skirt?" James asked, eyes trained on the shape of your ass in your baby pink skirt. "The things I'd do just to get a taste." Nick sighed.

"What about you, Steve? You're pretty close to her, you never wanted to get between her legs?" he continued, focus now on Steve.

"Trust me, I have. Still do." he answered. Steve sighed and slowly shook his head, "The things I'd do to her, man. Too bad Munson got her before I could."

Eddie got tense at the words that spilled out from their lips. Those disgusting words that were all targeted at you. He closed the fridge door and made his way to you. He took your hand in his and led you to the bathroom.

"Uh-"

You couldn't get a word out before his lips were on yours and your back against the door. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close. You don't know what had gotten into him, but you weren't complaining.

Eddie pulled away and moved you to the sink, he made you face the mirror pushed you against the porcelain. He grabbed and groped your ass, sighing to himself, "Hate to say it, but he was right. Your ass looks amazing in this skirt."

"Who- Who said that?" you asked, "Doesn't matter." he grunted. You were lost in the thought of someone other than your boyfriend would say that about you. But now you have an idea as to why he's acting the way he is.

He lifted the back of your skirt up and rubbed your lower back, "Now, be good girl and be as loud as possible."

"What-"

With one, harsh thrust his cock was in you and you were bent over, your face practically touching the mirror. Eddie's thrusts were rough and hard. You tried to be quiet, not wanting to draw any attention to the bathroom and not wanting people to hear the noises you'd make for this man.

Eddie pulled and tugged at your hair, pulling you close to him, "Make some noise." he grunted. His voice was husky, and his scent intoxicating. You wanted to moan, to scream but you also didn't want any attention from anyone outside. But it was starting to get difficult to not make any noise.

You whimpered and whined whenever you felt the tip of his cock brush against your cervix. "Louder baby," he sighed, the feeling of your pussy tightening around his cock sent shivers throughout his body. "Just let it out, don't think about anyone else but the two of us."

Broken moans fell from your lips as you gripped the porcelain sink and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You pushed all of your worries to the side and listened to Eddie's words.

He grabbed your jaw and forced you to look in the mirror, "Good job princess, such a good girl," he smiled, locking eyes with you. "Such a pretty girl."

Eddie's eyes moved down to your neck and shoulder, which were exposed by the top you were wearing. A lightbulb switched on in his head and he slowly moved his mouth towards the most exposed spots.

He licked, nipped and kissed at your neck, testing the waters before even daring to bite into your beautiful skin. "Do it," you breathed. Eddie looked up and his eyes locked with yours again, "Do it, I want you to."

That was all he needed in order to continue.

He sunk his teeth in your soft skin, earning a hiss and moan from you in return.

Eddie left bite marks and hickeys all over your neck, and down your collarbone.

He hasn't done it before, but this just unlocked a whole new world for him that he will continue to do.

Eddie grabbed and groped your tits as he felt him dick twitch, he was so close to cumming and he can tell you were too. The way your moans went up an octave or two, the way you gripped the edge of the sink, the way your pretty eyes rolled back, the way your mouth fell open.

Eddie's hands made their way under your shirt and bra, he pinched and played with your nipples, the sensation sending goosebumps throughout your body and to your core.

You were so close, and you just wanted to cum.

You just wanted to cum for him and show him you're his good girl.

"E-Eddie..." you stuttered, "Hm?" he hummed, his pace getting faster and his hands gripping at your tits. "I'm so close, please," you didn't know what you were begging for; he was giving you everything you wanted.

Eddie brought one of his hands down and between your legs, he played with your clit, stimulating it.

You moaned and moaned; you were sure someone out there could hear you over the music. The bathroom smelled like sex, pure and raw sex.

You came and creamed all over Eddie's cock, you were sensitive to every movement right now. Eddie came inside of you, painting your walls white with his nut. When he slowly pulled his cock out of you, his nut was dripping out of you.

It was definitely a sight he loved to see. He used his fingers push the cum back inside of you and he pulled your panties back up.

"Try not to let anymore drip out of you, 'kay?" he asked, smiling.

You gave him a nod and he kissed the top of your head, forehead, nose, cheeks, lips and hands. He can't do much aftercare here, but that doesn't mean he won't show his love after fucking you.

Eddie took your hand and lead you out of the bathroom and back to the party. "You can go back to what you were doing my love."

You chuckled at his actions and walked back to Nancy and Robin; walking by Steve on your way to them.

You couldn't see it, but Eddie could.

Steve's face changed from, admiration and lust to surprise and disgust.

Surprise: He didn't think you were the type to be into that.

Disgust: It was Eddie's lips that were on you.

He scoffed and his eyes trailed down your body and to your ass. That's when he saw something dripping down your thigh.

If he wasn't as disgusted before, he's definitely disgusted now.

Guess he never had a chance after all.

[iluvmattsbeard]

lost time (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: nothing!

preview: your parents and the triplets parents have been best friends ever since before you guys were even born. you were sort of forced to grow up with the triplets. you and Matt were the closest. you two were hard to separate. but as you got to high school, you sort of fell off wanting to go do your own things. now as adults, you guys reunite and decide to make up for lost time.

a/n: i’ve been having so much inspo to write. you guys are keeping me motivated! i really appreciate it. listen to the song while reading, it really sets the scene. i encourage this with every imagine i write! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE VERY APPRECIATED!

"Y/n!" you hear your mother shout out from excitement as she runs over to you. you put down your luggage before embracing her in a hug, "hi mom! I missed you so much." you say rubbing her back. "I missed you more Y/n!" she says pulling away, giving your dad a chance to greet you. you haven't seen them in months. you were currently living in New York after you finished high school. you always wanted to live in the big city. you were grateful for the opportunity you received. you were majoring in the Arts. it was something you always wanted to do, but being apart from your family in Boston was the hardest thing you've had to go through.

"let's get inside. we have something to tell you." your mom says with a smile. you nod as you grab your luggage but, your dad ends up taking it from your hands. "dad I got it." you say letting out a soft laugh. "no you're our guest." he says letting out a chuckle. you three walk inside the house and you take off your coat. it was currently winter time. that was the reason why you were back home. it was December 20th, five days before Christmas. you were home for the holidays. you hang your coat on the rack and take off your shoes. you walk around analyzing everything. it was still the same, except for the fact that it was decorated for Christmas. you head towards the Christmas tree as you reach out for an ornament that had your elementary school picture in it. "did you really have to add this?" you ask with a soft laugh. "it was too cute not to add sweetie!" your mom says handing you a mug of her homemade hot chocolate.

"thank you mom." you say taking it. "so, what was it you needed to tell me?" you ask taking a sip. "Marylou, Jimmy, and their boys are coming to spend the holidays with us!" you almost choke at your mother's words. "they're back in Boston?" you ask with an awkward smile. last time you seen the triplets, it wasn't quite the ideal farewell. at least with Matt it wasn't. you still talk to Nick from time to time, Chris would like your social media posts, and Matt? well, nothing was happening between the two of you. not ever since high school at least. "yeah! the boys still live with them. I think they're like entrepreneurs or something. Marylou tried explaining it to me but I didn't quite understand." your mom says. "they'll be staying here with us until after Christmas." she adds on. your eyes widen a bit, "oh? you failed to mention this before I got here?" you say with a nervous laughter. "well, I know it isn't ideal for you. I know you and Matt didn't quite leave off on a good note." she says.

-FLASHBACK-

"so what? you meet a whole new group of people that you decide not to spend any more time with me?" you say standing there with your arms crossed. "y/n, we were always together. we're older now. we don't have to be with each other every single time." Matt says frustrated. you scoff before responding, "so you're telling me you want to stop being friends?" he shakes his head, "that's not what I said. all I said was, maybe now we can just do our own things." he says. "well that's not what you've been doing. you've shut me out completely." you say with a hurt expression. "maybe because everything has changed Y/n. you know I don't hang around your crowd." he says catching you off guard. "so just because you gained popularity, apparently my 'crowd' isn't your ideal group of people?" you scoff before continuing on, "yeah maybe everything has changed. you changed." you walk away from him leaving him in silence.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"they'll be here any minute." your mom says adjusting the centerpiece on the coffee table. you felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. you took constant sips from the warm mug as you sit down on the couch and wait. "you guys are adults now. you will figure it out." your mom says rubbing your arm. you didn't hold a grudge against Matt but, you still felt a sort of somber from the thought of what last happened. you suddenly hear a car pull up in front of your house. "they're here!" your mother says quickly getting up to rush over to the door. you stand up placing your mug on a coaster on the table before dusting off your corduroy pants due to your nervousness. "April!" you hear the familiar voice exclaim your mother's name. "Marylou!" she responds, happily embracing her in a hug. "is she here?" Marylou whispers to her. "yes she is! she's inside." your mother says before looking at the triplets boys. "Nick, Matt, and Chris!" she exclaims. "you boys are so grown up!" the boys smile with them shortly after embracing your mother individually in a hug. "hello Tyler!" Jimmy says greeting your dad, they end up doing a handshake.

after they all greeted each other, they finally headed inside carrying all their bags. you turn around swiftly as you see Marylou gasp from excitement, "my baby girl!" she says running up to you, hugging you. "hi Marylou, how have you been?" you say hugging back with a smile. "amazing now!" she pulls away looking at your mother, "April she looks just like you when you were in college." she adds on. you let out a soft laugh before turning towards the boys. Nick and Chris greet you with a hug before having a little small talk. Matt greeted you with a small 'hello' and awkward smile, which you did as well.

"i'm so excited for Christmas! it'll just be like the old days!" Marylou exclaims. "I brought the album book with photos of every Christmas we've celebrated!" "pull them out!" your mother says putting her hands together happily. now, you were all gathered around the couch as Marylou flips through the album book. "look how chubby your cheeks were Y/n." your dad points out with a chuckle. you felt your cheeks turn red from the comment as everyone laughs. "if only time would slow down." you hear your mother say. "I know. we're getting old!" Jimmy adds on. Marylou continues to flip through the book before landing on a photo of you and Matt smiling as little kids with missing teeth. you were both in matching Christmas sweaters as your head rested on his shoulder. "this is my favorite." Marylou says with a smile. you felt your heart ache from the sight of the photo. "you guys were so small!" your mom exclaims smiling. "yeah. now everything has changed." you blurt out with a fake smile. Matt turns his head towards you, shifting uncomfortably in his stance from the familiar words that came out your mouth.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you guys just had finished eating dinner. “that was amazing April.” Jimmy says wiping his mouth. “very delicious honey.” your dad says rubbing his stomach. everyone thanks your mother as she smiles, “my pleasure everyone!” she says cheerfully. you decided to help your mother clean up the table. the triplets were lead to the rooms they’ll be staying in for the next days by your father. Marylou and Jimmy were settling into their room.

“Y/n, get out of this kitchen.” your mother says pushing you away playfully. “mom let me help you.” you say trying to stop her. “no Y/n! this is your break. go relax or something.” she says still pushing you away. “you’re really not going to let me help?” you ask letting out a small laugh. “no! now go!” she says smiling. you shake your head with a smile before walking away. you head up the stairs, walking into your childhood bedroom. you look around at the pastel pink wallpaper as you let a small smile appear on your face. you were reminiscing over all the memories that you had in here. you were glad to be home. you then hear a slight knock at your door as you turn around to see Matt. “hi” he says. “hey”. you reply.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it was the next day, the mothers had plans to do some holiday baking while the dads just sat around and watched TV. Nick and Chris were out catching up with old friends as Matt stayed at the house. “Matt! Y/n! join us!” you hear your mom say happily. you walk to the kitchen as you see materials and ingredients laid out on the island table. Matt was on the opposite side of the island from you. “we’re going to bake gingerbread cookies!” Marylou says handing you and Matt aprons. you tie your hair back in a ponytail as you respond, “yummy”.

as you guys started it off, Marylou and your mother left it up to you and Matt to handle the cookies while they started to prepare this upcoming dinner. you were mixing the batter as you ask Matt to pour some flour on to the table. as he does so, you both took dough into your hands as you both talked. “i hope these turn out right.” you say. “me too.” Matt says with a smile. you guys just caught up talking about college as he talked about his career he started with his brothers. it felt nice to talk to him again. the conversation stops as he looks at your face, “wait hold on. you have a little something right here.” he says putting flour on your nose.

your mouth went slightly open from his actions as you let out a small scoff which turned into a smile. “oh really? because i think you have something on your whole face.” you say placing your floured hands on his face, rubbing it in. you pull away and start laughing, “oh you’re going to regret that.” Matt says with a grin, picking up more flour as he chases you around the kitchen. you shriek as you try to get away from him but he soon grabs you from behind, wrapping his arms around you as he rubs the flour all over your face.

“Matthew!” you exclaim. Marylou taps your mother trying to make her look at the scene that took place. “look April.” she whispers. your mother looks up and smiles. “guys! you’re making a mess!” your mother says laughing. your smile soon drifts away as you realize what was happening. you step away from Matt as you take off your apron heading straight upstairs. Matt just stood there feeling awkward.

later in the day, Matt knocks on your door anxiously. "come in." you shout out from behind the door. he opens the door stepping inside. you look at him before speaking, "what's up?" you ask sitting on your bed. you could tell he was hesitating to speak, "I think we should discuss about where we left off from the last time we've seen each other." he says sitting down next to you. "what's there to talk about? you made it very clear that you didn't want to be surrounded by me anymore." you say. "that's not true Y/n. at the time, I just felt like we were always together. I felt terrible for what I said. our friendship was great and I let it go stupidly." he says letting out a small breath.

all you do is avoid eye contact before he speaks up again, "can I make it up to you?" you look at him as you respond, "how?" “well i want to know you better now. you know, figure out what you’ve been doing ever since we fell off.” he says. you just look at him with a blank stare, “i don’t know about that.” you say.

“okay then let’s see…” he says looking at the time on his phone and smiles, "come on." he says standing up. "what? where are we going?" you ask confused. "just come on. put on a sweater." he says walking out your room. after a bit, you meet him outside as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. "Matt where are we going?" you ask putting your hands in your pockets. the snow fall was light, but the ground was coated white from earlier. he starts to walk as you follow quickly behind. "you'll see!" he exclaims. after a while, you guys were now standing at the park you use to go to as kids. "why are we here?" you ask smiling softly. "well, remember our snow days?" he asks. "of course I do. while Nick and Chris attacked each other with snowballs, you helped me build snowmen." you reply. "yeah. i'm glad you remember." he says crouching down bunching up the snow. "we're going to build a snowman." he adds on with a smile.

"this is how you're going to make it up to me?" you say crouching with him. he looks at you as he speaks, "to make up for the times we missed building a snowman." you look into his eyes for a bit before letting out a small laugh. you guys then continued to build a snowman. “it’s head is as big as yours.” you say laughing. Matt’s mouth opens slightly as he responds, “that’s so mean.” you both laugh and eventually after laid in the snow looking up at the starry sky.

“what are we going to name him?” you ask. Matt hums while he thinks before he thinks of the perfect name, “Louis.” you turn to face him as you hear the familiar name. Louis was the name of your childhood stuffed animal that you had matching with the triplets. “you remember Louis?” you ask. “of course i do. i still have his sibling.” he says which causes you to let out a small chuckle.

"I missed this." you hear him whisper. you stay silent as you thought to yourself. where was this effort back then? as much as you missed it too, you still couldn't forget. you sit up, "we should go before it gets any later." you say before getting up and walking away.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you were out sitting on the porch drinking hot chocolate as you had thoughts. should Matt be given another chance? he had you where he wanted you before until he made it disappear. why now does he want to fix things? your thoughts were interrupted when you feel a figure sit next to you. you turn to see who it is to find out it's Matt. "can I still prove to you I want to make up for lost time?" he says quietly. you could tell he was genuine. "okay how now?" you ask. he gets up with a smile as he asks you to follow him. he gets in the car as you join him in the passenger seat. "where are we going?" you ask putting on your seat belt. "some place special." he says as he drives off to the location. you look out the window as you see familiar scenery. you fix your posture as you try to hide a smile, "don't tell me we're doing what I think we're doing." he parks the car and smiles, "come on let's go." he says getting out the car.

he opens the trunk to reveal the famous sled you guys built together with your parents in middle school. you gasp while covering your mouth. "you kept it?!" you exclaim. "of course I did." he says pulling it out from the trunk. "we're going to do our tradition." the tradition was a silly thing you both liked to do during snow days. you would try to get to the highest hill and slide down without trying to fall off. you guys always failed. you and Matt climbed up a steep hill as you look at him. he places the sled onto the fluffy snow as he sits down leaving space for you in between his legs. you smile as you sit in front of him.

"are you ready?" Matt asks, "yes I am but, how did we do this back then? I forgot how steep this hill was!" you exclaim. you both let out a laugh as Matt speaks, "well you know the drill." "try not to fall off!" you say as he slides down the both of you. you shriek from the thrill as Matt laughs. when you guys reach the bottom, the sled comes to a sudden stop causing the both of you to tumble over into the snow. you both laid there cracking up. "I knew that would happen." you say clutching onto your stomach from how hard you were laughing.

"I don't think we'll ever not fall." Matt says shaking his head. "maybe next time." he adds on. "yeah maybe." you reply as your guys' laughter calms down. it eventually got silent as you continued to lay there with your arms by your side. you did miss this. "do you ever wonder what could've happened if we stayed close?" you ask still staring at the sky. "I'm not quite sure." he says doing the same. little did you know, he was inching his hand towards yours slowly. you guys laid there as his fingers were nearly touching yours.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it was finally Christmas morning, you were woken up by your mother shaking you excitedly. "Y/n! it's Christmas! time to get up." she says cheerfully. you rub your eyes as you look at her tiredly. "the triplets are already downstairs! come on!" she adds on before leaving your room. you get up and stretch before heading to the bathroom to do your morning routine. you put your hair up as you went downstairs. "good morning sunshine." Marylou says with a smile. "good morning" you reply smiling as well. "are you ready to open gifts?" you hear Chris say. "because we've been waiting." he adds on and you see Nick shove him.

"don't act like a child." Nick says to him as Chris rubs his arm. you let out a small laugh as you nod. you sit next to Matt and he greets you ‘Good morning’.

by the time all the gifts are open, everyone could be seen talking and laughing as you and Matt sit there taking everything in. "we need to make this a tradition again." your mom says. "absolutely!" Marylou says. "Y/n?" you hear Matt whisper to you. you turn your head to face him, "yeah?" you whisper back. "I got you a gift." he says. "you did?" you ask raising an eyebrow. he smiles and nods. "oh Matt... I don't have anything for you. I didn't know you were going to be here in the first place." you say with an awkward tone. "don't worry. I got this gift last minute. come with me." he says getting up. you look around as you notice nobody is paying attention. you get up as you follow him out the front door. "what plans do you have now?" you ask letting out a small laugh.

"well, I wanted to have this moment for just the two of us." he reaches into the car as he pulls out the same matching Christmas sweaters from when you were kids but in a bigger size. "Matt..." you say grabbing it slowly. "I think we should keep up with the traditions." he says putting on the sweater. you smile big as you do the same. "where did you even find these?" you asked looking down at the design. "I have my ways." he replies looking at you. you look up at him and smile, "thank you Matt." he smiles as he stands there rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I have one more thing." he says. "what? how much stuff do you have?" you say letting out a small chuckle. "you need to close your eyes for this one." you look at him confused before responding, "okay? you're not going to throw a snowball at me right?" he lets out a laugh as he shakes his head, "just close your eyes!" he exclaims. "fine sorry." you say shutting your eyes.

you heard his feet shuffle in the snow before you hear the movement stop. "alright you can open your eyes." you hear him say. you open your eyes slowly as you see Matt holding up a little plant. "Matt, is that what I think it is?" you say as your eyes turn soft and you gulp. it was a mistletoe. he lets out a shy laugh as he speaks, "you don't have to if you want but, I wanted to see if we could start a new tradition since we're older." you look at the plant as you smile wide, "of course I do." you say looking into his eyes before pulling him slowly into a soft kiss. Matt drops the mistletoe on the snow as he attaches his hands onto your waist.

you slowly pull away as you both hear a click. you and Matt turn towards the front of the house to see Marylou and your mother holding out a camera smiling. “everything has definitely changed.” your mom says. you and Matt look at each other and laugh.

a/n: this is a little longer than my usual stuff! i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did writing it! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! comment what you think about this and if i should do more taylor swift songs for my swifties.

[viviennevermillion]

Spending Valentine's Day with him

notes: i just noticed i haven't written anything for cater yet except for my dystopian au. also if you guys like my writing, comments in the tags or anon asks are appreciated! feedback motivates me to write more!

contains: character x gn!reader, established relationship in some but not all

characters included: cater diamond, leona kingscholar, jade leech, malleus draconia

warnings: mention of gruesome death in jade's part (this is about a mushroom he grew and talks about), accidental marriage proposal

dark content creators and consumers dni

Cater, of course, is more than familiar with Valentine's Day. He's always up to date with the latest trends and on this day, Valentine's Day is trending on Magicam. Every year, Cater participates in this holiday even though he didn't have a crush on anyone for the past few years. He at least always posts some themed photos and sends chocolates to his friends. Sometimes he also does little events on his Magicam page where he prompts people to ask him Valentine's Day related questions or post their own stories they've had with this day and he'll comment on it.

But this year was different.

Having fallen for you quite a few months ago, Valentine's Day was the perfect opportunity to finally ask you out on a date. Cater knew so too but Trey was the one who had to convince him. "You're always so flirty with them, why don't you ask them out already?", Trey smiled and shook his head in confusion. "Well, that's different...", Cater replied awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head. "How exactly is that different?", Trey chuckled and proceeded making a Valentine's Day cake for the Heartslabyul dorm.

Indeed, Cater had flirted with you quite a few times but given his usual demeanor, there was no reason for you to suspect this wasn't just what he was like in general.

Cater eventually asks you out with a box of chocolate from Sam's store. He's happy when you say yes and the two of you agree to go to the cinema together.

Cater buys the two of you colorful drinks and a box of nachos. He takes a picture of the food and asks you if you'd like to take a photo with him as well, which he'd post on Magicam with the caption "Spending today with my valentine ❤️ #cinemadate #valentinesday #nightravencollege ❤️" if you let him. He'd tag you in the picture as well. Cater loves to take pictures but there's a couple of them that's just you two laughing together and having fun and he decides that even though they'd probably get a lot of likes, they're special to him and he just keeps them on his phone to remember this day with you fondly.

He originally intends to take you to a romance movie and bought tickets for it....but life had other plans for you.

"This uh....this doesn't look like the movie we asked to watch", Cater sunk back into the seat and had to be careful not to drop his 3D glasses when the horrifying forest creature from the screen seemed to charge directly at him. You fished the movie tickets out of your pockets. "Uh yeah I think the employee mixed something up...we have tickets for something called 'The Unspeakable Horrors'", you explained before looking back at the screen. "Oh god I don't like or subscribe to this", Cater lets out a slightly distressed sigh. He wondered whether it was too late to watch the other movie and get the actual tickets he wanted but you taking his hand in yours when he seemed scared changed his mind. Maybe watching the unspeakable horrors was indeed a way to get closer to you.

"I'm going to have vivid nightmares of this for days to come", Cater chuckled awkwardly as the two of you left the cinema, still holding hands. "Maybe I can help with that", you chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

Cater asks you to be his significant other after your date. He explains how he had a crush on you for a while now and how all the attempts he had made at flirting with you were actually genuine. "Oh yeah I knew", you smirked and pulled him into a hug, "and yes... I'd love to be your valentine every day from now on."

"How about we finish this date with a kiss?", he suggests, nervousness now having left his voice. You nod and he cups your cheek and presses several soft kisses to your lips; the horrors from the movie already forgotten.

If Leona didn't have have a deep-rooted distaste for a lot of celebrations his older brother hosted in his homeland, Valentine's Day would be right up there on the list of Leona's least favorite holidays. He really doesn't like anything cheesy and seeing people being all lovey-dovey gets on his nerves. For Leona, it's pointless to dedicate an entire holiday to appreciating your lover when you could just be doing that whenever.

You enter Leona's room on Valentine's Day, finding your boyfriend sleeping in bed. You smile and sit down beside him, gently rubbing his ears and watching him instinctively snuggle close to your lap and his tail swishing back and forth. "Pspspspsps Leona", you whisper and poke his cheek.

His eyes open slowly and he looks at your face with a confused expression before stretching his limbs like a cat and sitting up. "Why'd you wake me up, herbivore?", he asks calmly and rests against your shoulder. To anyone else he would have said this with an annoyed tone and a frustrated facial expression but with you his tone was gentle and like he was actually interested in the answer.

"I got you something", you say and pull out a small yellow box from your bag, tied neatly with a black ribbon. "Did you get me one of those Valentine's chocolates Sam sells around this time of year?", he asks as he takes the box from you. "Well, not really. I know you don't really like Valentine's Day so I got you this instead", you explain and Leona lifted the cover of the box, instantly snorting and letting out a laugh. Instead of chocolate hearts there were pumpkin-shaped chicken nuggets in the box and the inside of the cover was decorated with a sparkling, cursive "Happy Halloween!" surrounded by stickers of ghosts and bats. The little greeting card that came with it had a distorted "Congratulation!" written on it that started in the middle of the card and the letters became more and more squeezed the closer the writing got to the edge, to make sure that the whole word still fit on it.

Leona was wheezing and patted your head. "Okay that's funny, you got me", he chuckled and plopped one of the nuggets into his mouth, pleased that you had given him meat instead and attempted to make him laugh rather than trying to feed into convention and giving him a red box of Valentine's chocolates.

He ate all of the nuggets in the box and then put it aside, pulling you into his arms and laying down in bed with you. He mumbled a "thank you" and buried his face in your shoulder. You started gently caressing his ears and kissed his forehead.

Leona would just hold you in his arms for a while and maybe spend the day in bed cuddling with you or playing chess with you.

If Valentine's Day is important to you, Leona would adapt and actually try to celebrate it with you. But in general, as your relationship grows, Leona learns of all the things you like and dislike and he takes you out on dates once in a while when he feels like you'd appreciate it. Whether that's Valentine's Day or just any other day. After all, who would he be if he didn't put in any effort after you were the one to put him first?

He definitely keeps your affectionate gestures in mind and who knows? He might take you out a couple days later to have a nice walk on the beach and have a picnic there as the sun sets.

Jade is relatively new to Valentine's Day as it's not a holiday that exists under the sea. They have a similar holiday that's dedicated to celebrating the union of the mermaid princess and her human lover but it's not quite the same as Valentine's Day on land.

"What a curious custom", Jade thought at first when he heard about it during his first year. Ever since the twins and Azul knew about it, they've been using the opportunity to sell overpriced Valentine's gifts and specials at Mostro Lounge.

Ever since he started dating you, Jade has wondered whether he'd be celebrating Valentine's Day with you this year. He gets you some rare flowers he grew himself (actually making sure none of them are poisonous) and if he feels like you'd like it, he'll make you a terrarium like the ones he has. He puts a bunch of plants and small sea animals in there that he collected himself while scavenging the ocean around Sage's Isle. He makes sure to include everything he thinks you might like. He promised you to take you to the Coral Sea and show you his home one day but for now the opportunity hasn't arisen yet so he wants to show that you're part of his world by giving you a part of his.

He puts psathyrella aquatica in your terrarium which is the first and only known underwater mushroom.

Jade shows you how to take care of the terrarium and sometimes the both of you take care of it together.

For Valentine's Day, Jade takes a free day from work and reserves a table at Mostro Lounge for you and himself. He gets the special Valentine's Day mocktails and dishes for half the price so you're in luck. "It took you this long to prepare it?", Jade teases his twin brother as Floyd brings you your meals. Floyd glares at his brother angrily and then turns to you. "Jade used to be scared shitless of the sun when he was a kid. He thought it was gonna fall out of the sky and kill him", Floyd snickered, now being the one to earn a glare from his brother. You laugh at the mental image of a small Jade being scared to swim to the surface of the ocean because the sun was there. "We'll sort this out later, Floyd", Jade replies with a bright smile on his face. The shady, threatening kind.

"For the record, Floyd was the one who told me that the sun was going to fall out of the sky and kill me", Jade explained and sighed, "he kept that prank up for 2 whole years." You chuckle. "Somehow that makes it even funnier", you took his hand on the table and held it in your own, "did you think you were safe underwater?" Jade nodded. "I thought it was just going to go out when it falls into the water", he chuckled, "looking back on it, it was quite curious what we'd come up with to explain what was above the surface and on land before we started going to school and learnt the real facts."

He makes sure to inquire whether you enjoyed your meal or not and gives Azul his feedback. He wraps an arm around your shoulder as he walks out of the restaurant with you.

He later takes you to the greenhouse after all classes have ended for the day and no one was in there anymore. "I have to show you something", he explains and leads you to the window where several plants were standing, "this is an entirely new mushroom species I've created. It's very fascinating. I named it after you." You look at the mushrooms that were moving slightly in a way that looked almost threatening. "Let me guess, they're poisonous?", you ask and lean against Jade. "Probably the most poisonous ones we have on this entire island. Actually they'd make your organs explode within a couple of hours of eating them." He said that with such a joyful smile on his face that it was almost unsettling. But don't worry, Jade naming the creepy mushrooms after you is a sign of his love for you.

You're like "is this even allowed?" and Jade is like "that depends on how you interpret the rules :) "

Valentine's Day with Jade ends with some comforting cuddles in his room and few sharing chocolates after stopping by at Sam's shop and buying some.

Malleus is completely unaware of Valentine's Day. Straight up didn't know what it is.

You've liked him for a while but you were quite unsure whether the two of you could even work out because he's the crown prince of a whole country and meant to be king one day and you're a commoner. Nevertheless, you hoped he would become aware of your feelings for him and give you the answers you needed. You considered just telling him and talking to him about this but you didn't know how appropriate it was to just confess your love to Briar Valley's heir apparent and you were also worried it might make your friendship awkward.

So you decide to take your chances on Valentine's Day. If he rejected the idea of being involved with you romantically, you could always say you gave him flowers and chocolate because he's a great friend.

You get him a personalized bouquet with flowers you associate with him and a box of Valentine's chocolates. He doesn't get why you're giving him gifts and he's just like "thank you, my dear friend :) "

He's really happy about it but he only learns about the intention behind the gifts when Lilia educates him later. "Valentine's Day is a celebration in human society that is dedicated to appreciating the one you love", he explains. "Oh...like a best friend?", Malleus smiles. Lilia sighs. "Uh...sometimes...but I think y/n wanted to express that they're in love with you", he puts Malleus out of his misery. Cue the surprised Malleus face™.

Malleus is so unfamiliar with romantic relationships that he doesn't notice he has a crush on someone until someone else makes him aware of it, in this case Lilia.

So Malleus, with his newfound clarity about his feelings for you, decides to make the best out of the rest of Valentine's Day and get you some gifts in return to attempt to court you. Lilia recommends that he stops by the Mystery Shop, since Sam is selling a lot of typical Valentine's gifts today. So Malleus heeds the older fae's advice and buys 3 bouquets of red roses, which Lilia told him are the ones most associated with romantic love, along with a box of chocolates for you too.

There's also a stand in Sam's shop with a bunch of silver rings in ring boxes. The picture above it shows a man going down on one knee and presenting the ring to his significant other. The caption on it says "Give your loved one the ultimate proof of your love". And Malleus finds one with a subtle dragon-themed design and he's like :)

So he goes to you after classes and presents you with the bouquets and the chocolate first. "Y/n....perhaps it took me some time to realize, but I love you. Would you allow me to court you?", Malleus asks. The three bouquets are a bit much but he's got the spirit. You accept and put the bouquets aside for a moment, pulling him into a hug.

Then he pulls out the ring and gets down on one knee in front of you, presenting it to you. You're shocked for a moment, not knowing how to even process what is happening. Three students walk by and stare at the two of you in bewilderment as you frantically try to gesture to them "this is not what it looks like".

You guide Malleus to stand up again and take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. "I love you, Malleus. But we've only started dating a couple of minutes ago...I can't possibly agree to marry you yet...", you explain softly. Malleus is like "wait what?"

He explains to you how the rings were advertised in the shop and you laugh, putting one on your finger and the other one on his. "Well, an accidental proposal was not on my list of things I expected to happen today, but I will never forget about this", you snicker and Malleus laughs along with you, glad you're taking his awkward mistake with humor, "let's take these rings as a promise of our love for now. We'll worry about the future when we get there."

You gently cup his cheek. "May I kiss you?", you ask and Malleus nods, leaning close until his lips meet yours in a soft and loving kiss. He holds you gently in his arms and looks into your eyes with a happy smile. "I love you, my dearest. Next year you should show me all about celebrating Valentine's Day."

[satubby]

Hello! How are you? if you still place orders I hope you can attend to mine. I confess that your male Makima writings drive me crazy, so if you don't mind, here I have another request for you and I hope it's not wierd. Could you make a scenario that the reader moved away from everyone for a while and stayed out of everyone's sight, and after a few months she returns and they find out that he had a daughter? (Makime is the father) and he finds out that the girl is his daughter? I hope my request doesn't bother you and I really wish you could attend to it. I hope you have a good day and stay healthy!

[Hello sweetie! Thanks for entrusting me with these requests, sorry to keep you waiting but I took my months off and started working, that's why I didn't answer my inbox. Here you go, it's like a little One shot/scenario].

You find yourself in the bathroom, bent over the toilet as waves of nausea seem to drag your consciousness down. The bitter taste in your mouth and the rapid beating of your heart take you back to the murky memory of your encounter with Makime at the bar. Although days have passed since then, the images are still tattooed in your mind, like fresh scars that refuse to fade.

"Why, no, this can't be happening to me? Fuck," you mutter between sobs, feeling a lump in your throat as tears begin to mix with the sensation of vomiting. A sarcastic joke about the irony of life crosses your mind, a kind of bitter self-reflection that only you can understand.

The muffled voices of your friends reach you from the other side of the door, but you barely manage to pay attention to them. Aki, Denji and Powa try to be supportive, but the sense of isolation is stronger than ever. Makime's cold presence, clinging to your thoughts like a shadow, plunges you into a spiral of self-loathing and despair. So much effort you put into getting away from him, but it only seems to motivate him to stalk.

"Hey, is everything okay? You've been in the bathroom for half an hour and Powa keeps nagging me about coming in….. (Y/N), you know I'm worried about you," Aki asks with genuine concern in his voice. You can feel her palpable anxiety, as if she shares your torments in the distance. His words offer you a glimmer of clarity amidst the darkness, but they also make you feel even more vulnerable and pathetic. You don't think you're brave enough to face them, not after your betrayal, or at least you feel that way.

"No, I'm… fine, ugh," you say in a halting voice, fighting the lump in your throat as your tears mix with the cold sweat on your face. You clutch the toilet tightly, reality becoming a blur as another access of vomit shakes you. In the midst of this painful moment, memories of Makime reclaiming what shouldn't have been hers, assault you cruelly, causing your tears to fall silently as you once again feel stripped of your self-control and power over your actions, you feel dirty and disgusted… Sleeping with the demon, giving in to his dirty, sin-filled words. That you cannot forgive yourself.

Carefully and shaky-legged, you pull yourself away from the toilet, the cold of the bathroom clinging to your damp skin from the sweat of overexertion. You stand up, but your body feels weak, as if nausea has stolen all your energy. You look in the mirror, your reflection seems strange, almost unrecognizable, or was it the tears from so much crying? Your face is pale, with the traces of tears and effort marked on it. You stare at yourself, lost in thought as doubts and fears gather like stormy clouds.

What will your friends say when they realize what is happening? You know deep down, how disappointed they would be or maybe you always jump to conclusions without asking first. You haven't had your period for weeks, so you know the only reason for it could be… pregnancy. But you didn't want this child, as guilty as you feel, you also didn't want to be a murderer of your own unwanted child. Maybe… Should you hide this unexpected pregnancy or make a more radical decision? The thought of hiding it or even aborting it haunts you, but you know you can't help but think about it.

Your mind wanders down the dark alleys of your fears-how will Makime react if he finds out? The very thought of his cold stare and cutting words makes you shudder or worse, to see his look filled with mocking satisfaction at your defeat carrying his child inside. And then there is the damage you could cause yourself if you decide to abort, both physically and emotionally, you don't think you are capable of enduring those horrors, but you know well that in this universe full of maniacs, blood is the daily bread… That's why you hated Makime, that bastard who would destroy the dreams of others and especially Denji.

But apparently now it's more fun to annoy you, to threaten to kill them… You don't even understand what's so attractive about you that the greatest enemy in this world would notice you.

But your thoughts are interrupted when, in a nervous gesture, you bite into your own flesh. The momentary pain jolts you out of your mental spiral, and that's when you really look at your reflection. Your face is blotchy, a mixture of tears and sweat, and your expression is a chaos of despair and confusion.

The truth hits you hard: you feel caught in a whirlwind of emotions, with no clear path to follow. You realize that every decision you make will carry with it dark and heartbreaking consequences. And as you keep looking at your own reflection, you feel the crushing sensation that you are trapped in a game you didn't ask to be a part of, even though you are aware of your actions that also led you to this… You thought you could handle it by taking this job, but you are not sure at this point.

You sigh with exhaustion, a mixture of physical and mental exhaustion. You ruffle your messy hair with your hands, as if trying to push the shadows out of your mind, even though you know that's impossible. The decision to take a bath seems like a respite in the midst of the emotional storm that engulfs you. Stripping off your clothes is a mechanical act, as if you want to free yourself from the worries that oppress you, free yourself from this feeling of lustful filth even though it has been weeks since… Your first time in this body, stolen and swallowed by the devil of control.

The warm water from the shower falls on you, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. You close your eyes and let your thoughts be swept away by the stream. Slowly, you feel the mist of steam and the sound of water fill your senses, muffling the tumultuous voices in your mind.

Unnoticed, time passes in the blink of an eye, and you find peace in the simple action of feeling the water run over your skin, as if those drops of water are washing you clean of your sins. But when you finally turn off the water and step out of the shower, the thoughts return with renewed force, like angry waves lapping against the shore.

Maybe it's the monotony in your gaze or the fact that you're in such a mess between thoughts that you finally realize you're in your room, sitting up in bed. You stare into the void, your eyes swollen and your fingers hurt by the anxiety you have failed to control by biting your nails hard. Moments of relief dissolve into the raw and painful reality you face. Your mind turns again to Makime, her twisted personality or her unpredictable actions that make you so uncomfortable, you don't want to accept it, but a part of you enjoys it.

You try to map out a plan in your head, but every possibility seems to carry with it an abyss of consequences. would Makime ignore your situation? Fuck that's such a stupid thought, knowing him you know he wouldn't, always looking at you like he's the hunter and maybe he is. Could he force you to go through with this pregnancy you don't want? Your throat tightens with fear and uncertainty, a feeling you can't choke down.

You bite the end of the towel wrapped around your head, as if it might somehow take away the stress of the dark thoughts that crowd in. You keep looking for a way out, a spark of hope in the midst of this overwhelming anxiety that invades you, you have always been like this, insecure though trying.

The sound of the door being slammed abruptly breaks the silence of the room, snapping you out of your jumbled thoughts. Powa, with his thunderous energy and imperative attitude, bursts into the room like a flurry of chaos. He informs you, in his characteristic shouting tone, that Aki has already served dinner and everyone is waiting for you at the table. Though with your fog of thoughts carried away from the questions, you barely give a nod with your eyes lost in nothingness.

His words ring in your ears as you look up, meeting Powa's rambunctious figure. The blood possessed one seems more playful and noisy than ever, ready to drag you away from the pensive trance you were in. It moves into your field of vision crouching down to you, doing its best to get your attention and pull you out of that darkness.

"Looks like someone got lost in your world again," Powa comments, a hint of mockery in his voice as he smiles, showing those shark teeth that seem to be his trademark. His words sound like an invitation to leave your worries behind and join the present.

His defiant smile and mischievous child's attitude wrench a response from you. You come out of your trance, your face lights up with a nervous smile, aware that Powa might notice your worries, which you don't want him to, so you smile at him trying to draw his attention away from you. You hope that this momentary distraction will keep the rambunctious demon away and offer you a respite from the emotional storm in which you find yourself mired.

You leave the guest room that Aki had lent you, you didn't want to think about Rintarou either, what would you say to him? You don't think you're capable of anything. Your eyes fall on the trio of men occupying the kitchen. Aki is concentrating on cooking with his usual grace, while Denji and Powa argue animatedly over the vegetables that none of them seem willing to eat.

As you watch the scene, a momentary relief washes over you. The comfort of being with them, even in the midst of your anxieties, makes you feel that perhaps you can find temporary refuge… But you know the fate that awaits the three of them, it only makes you feel worse about your apparent betrayal. However, the fear of breaking that tranquility persists, holding you back in your intentions to share your worries.

Denji stops fighting with Powa and fixed his eyes at you, greeting you with an enthusiastic "Good morning, (Y/N)!" Your smile forms automatically, as if his greeting manages to momentarily dispel your gloomy thoughts.

You gather at the table, sharing your meal and chatting naturally. Aki, always attentive, asks you if everything is all right. You nod silently, not wanting to delve into your own internal struggles, not whether you wanted to bring back those horrible memories of Makime violating your privacy or this pregnancy of yours. Denji, with his characteristic intuition, comments that you seem quieter than usual, which he finds strange since you are usually the more playful one in these situations.

You stop eating for a moment, laughing nervously at his observation. "Really? S-sorry, I didn't notice," you reply trying to deflect, knowing that you don't want your world of worries to overshadow the moment you share with them.

Again, like a blur, everyone is already dressed in their uniforms, including you. You leave the apartment ready to face the day. You walk with the trio to work, your finger finds its way into your mouth, biting it anxiously once again. You wonder if the bulge in your belly will be noticeable after several months, if the stares of those around you will discover your secret. Makime is a constant weight in your thoughts, wondering what he will say once he sets eyes on you.

Every time you meet, you always feel vulnerable and nervous no matter how much you want to cover up that feeling.

As you move forward with your friends, you feel a mixture of nervousness, disgust and fear. But again, you swallow all your feelings.

The quartet advances towards the public security offices, each step you take carrying with it a load of nervousness that is reflected in your finger, which keeps getting bitten until it bleeds. The thought of facing Makime in the office torments you, and your mind races to what might happen if the devil control detects your nerves which you don't try very hard to conceal either.

The offices lie before you, and you feel as if each step brings you a little closer to the abyss of your worries. You know that when they work, they need to request the file of the next mission from Makime, and the mere idea of crossing words with him fills you with those thoughts. What will he say if he finds out about your pregnancy? You always come back to that question and fear his dirty words as possessive attached to the weight of his penetrating gaze.

Finally, you find yourself alongside the trio as they enter the offices. Aki leads the way, and you stay behind him, almost as if afraid to cross the threshold of the door. You can feel Makime's eyes on you, like needles piercing your skin. But for now, the red-haired man says nothing, he just listens and dictates the orders for the day.

Your mind clouds with a mixture of fear and resignation, as you try to keep your composure by not letting your worries overpower you. As Aki and the others dive into the discussion, your thoughts turn to Makime, how to deal with this dangerous game of appearances and secrets.

As Aki withdraws, you feel the urge to follow him, as if his presence might offer you a refuge in the midst of this awkward situation. But your plans vanish when Makime intervenes, requesting that everyone leave the office except you. His request causes your nerves to intensify, and you feel a strange sense of vulnerability pressing down on you.

Aki casts you a look of concern and comfort before closing the door behind him. The dull click of the lock adds extra weight to the already tense atmosphere in the room. You find yourself alone with Makime, and discomfort seems to fill every corner.

Makime slowly approaches you, his sly gaze and soft words forming a trap that you feel yourself sinking into. The redhead's closeness only intensifies the tightness in your chest, as if you're trapped in his magnetic orbit until you feel it… your back against his chest. You don't want to look into his predatory eyes.

"It saddens me that you are ignoring me, and I thought you had already accepted me. You know I would never hurt you or do anything you don't want, for example… Your moans that night, so soft and innocent."

His words, though laden with false comfort, only leave you more anxious. Your mind whirls as you try to decipher words with which to attack. You feel the tension in the air, a mixture of fear and obedience that keeps you on edge.

Makime's amused smile triggers a shiver down your spine. You know he can smell your fear, and that only adds to your unease. Suddenly, he takes your nibbled hand in a gesture that seems too intimate, too invasive. He scolds you for your behavior, treating it as a childish prank, as if this whole game is simply that: a game for his own twisted amusement.

"Tch! But what a mess you made… You know I'm not stupid, but we won't ask questions, okay? Let me help you with that."

The feel of his fingers around yours makes you feel trapped, and you realize that you are in a dangerous position when he runs his tongue over your badly moderated wounded fingers.

As his presence dominates the room, your thoughts become increasingly suffocating, as if you are caught in a net from which you do not know how to escape.

Makime advances with sly complacency, his falsely friendly smile is like a hook in the murky water of the situation, as he continues to play with his mouth… Oh! That beautiful, stupid, voracious mouth.

"You don't need to get so uptight, (Y/N)," he murmurs with a softness that contrasts with the storm you feel in his gaze clouded with dark thoughts. "You know I'm always here to listen if you have any problems."

Your eyes roll quickly avoiding looking at him again, desperately trying to divert the conversation away from the dangerous waters. "Oh, it's nothing, Makime. I'm just… a little tired lately," you reply in a shaky voice, aware that every word out of your mouth can be a double-edged sword in this game of yours.

Makime moves even closer, his proximity suffocating. "Tired, huh?" he muses, his tone laden with irony. "It can be overwhelming work being a demon hunter, I won't deny you that. However, you should take it easy, sometimes those emotions can lead you down…deadly…routes."

Your mind races through the possibilities behind the meaning in his words, but before you can articulate a response, he takes the initiative once again. "Haven't you noticed how your fingers are hurt?" he asks with a tone that oscillates between concern and mockery, it is obvious that the question is unnecessary in this situation.

His eyes are riveted on the hand he's still holding, as if he's analyzing every little detail of you, how his saliva is still on your wounds. Fuck how he wants to lick your sweet skin again, that addictive blood.

You stumble over your own words, diverting his attention back to you. "Oh, it's no big deal, I'm just a little nervous from the stress of work. I nibble my fingers without realizing it, sorry," you say, trying to sketch a smile that hides your true feelings. "I wouldn't want to bother you with nonsense like this."

Makime laughs softly, a laugh that makes you feel as if you're caught in a net of his design. "Nonsense, you say. But you know, (Y/N), sometimes things we consider small reveal a lot about us." His eyes sparkle with a mischievous spark as he continues, "We must learn to control ourselves, don't you think?"

You feel caught up in his devious game, a conversation that seems harmless on the surface but carries with it a subtle venom. His every word seems like a carefully crafted trap, and as you struggle to maintain your composure, you realize that you are dancing on the edge of manipulation and deception.

Makime continues his game, like a cat toying with its prey before finally attacking. His piercing eyes search yours, as if he is trying to read every thought that passes through your mind. "Sometimes, it's important to talk about our worries," he comments, his voice soft as the scrape of a sharp knife. "If you have something on your mind, (Y/N), don't hesitate to tell me. I don't want you to feel alone in this."

You feel the weight of his words like an anvil on your chest. You want to speak, desperately want to free yourself from the anguish that surrounds you, but the thought of confiding in Makime, of revealing your intimate thoughts to him, fills you with an almost paralyzing fear. His true intentions are hidden behind that mask of kindness, and you can't help but wonder if this is simply another game on his part. You don't want to be controlled by him, though at this point your lustful side wonders if you could withstand the temptation.

"Thank you, Makime," you reply, trying to remain calm, though your words tremble slightly. "I'll keep that in mind. For now, I'm just… trying to manage my own insecurities."

Makime's sly smile widens slightly, as if he's enjoying your discomfort. "Insecurities, huh? We all have our internal struggles, (Y/N), but you shouldn't be carrying all that weight alone." He takes a step closer, his presence feeling more intimidating than ever, his hand squeezing yours. "Remember, we're on the same team."

Your mind twists with conflicting thoughts, the desire to trust fighting against the fear of falling into his trap. His every word seems like a rope squeezing your throat, a rope that threatens to choke any truth you may be about to reveal. You realize you are in a dangerous game, one where every move can be fatal.

"Ahh! Anyway, I don't want to delay your work. I hope you have a desirable performance this week, don't get distracted yes?" Makime's eyes keep searching for some chink in your armor, looking you in the eye as you struggle to stand your ground, you realize that every word you choose could be the final nail in your own coffin.

"Y-yeah, well I'm out" You could hardly think straight and more so when he ended up kissing the back of your hand.

[daddyfroglegs]

Prove It

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

summary: after being a part of the spider society for months without being sent on a mission and endless amounts of pleading, miguel finally gives you the chance to show yourself.

a/n: i've been working on this for sososo long and am so super excited to finally post it!! a HUGE thank you to @opaloharas for all her help as i was writing this and giving me so much motivation to complete it <3

quick tw for heavy angst and imagery, if i missed any that you feel need to be added pls lmk!

---

"Come on!" You huff out a frustrated sigh as you struggle to keep up with Miguel as he walks down one of the many hallways in the Spider Society HQ at a speed considered too fast for everyone else, but totally reasonable for someone his size.

"I'm not sure how many more ways I can say it before I resort to violence. For the last time, the answer is no." Miguel shoots you a look over his shoulder filled with annoyance and anger, but you don't back down. You manage to pick up the pace to a jog and stop in front of him, making him pause his tirade to look down at you as he crosses his arms.

"Just give me one chance to prove myself, please." You look up at him, your gaze loaded with determination. He scoffs and pushes past you, but you grab his wrist which makes him turn around, his gaze locked on your hand.

"You haven't given me a single mission and I've been here for over a month! Why did you even recruit me if I'm just going to wait around doing nothing?" Your hope starts to dwindle when he moves his wrist from your grasp and you break eye contact, beginning to turn and walk away before he finally speaks.

"Fine. You wanna show yourself? Earth 347-B has an anomaly that needs to be dealt with. Lyla will send you the details on it, you leave tomorrow morning." Your defeated stance shifts to its usual cheerful nature as you turn back to face him with a smile.

"Really? You mean it?" You beam as he nods. "I won't let you down! Thank you, Miguel!" You turn and shoot a web to the ceiling, swinging away with an eager and radiant energy that almost makes him feel bad for what he really signed you up for.

The anomaly that has been terrorizing Earth 347-B is known amongst the higher ranked spiders as one of their strongest, most difficult anomalies yet. Unlike anything they have ever seen before, this creature is able to use their enemy's insecurities and feelings against them by taking on the form of another person, someone close to them to really drive the pain home. Even Miguel had to take a mental health day after the creature took the form of his late daughter to taunt and remind him of the worst day of his life. You didn't stand a chance against this monstrosity.

---

You hardly slept that night, rereading the details Lyla sent you over and over until you could practically recite it from memory, relishing in the feeling of finally being useful and having a purpose. When morning finally comes, you're out the door bright and early, swinging down the hallways of HQ before you reach Miguel's office.

Once you've made it, you're practically jumping up and down with excitement as Miguel debriefs what you'll be doing on your mission. Your mission. Too caught up in your elation, you almost miss his next words.

"You're sure you're up for this? I'm letting you know now, it's not going to be easy." His arms are crossed and he's got that stuck up smirk he wears when he's trying to be condescending. He's looking down on you.

Your brows furrow in slight irritation and you cross your arms in a pitiful attempt to mirror his intimidating stance. "I've got this, Miguel. I'm not weak." Your cheery tone deteriorates into something more serious, something Miguel isn't sure he's heard from you before.

He holds his hand out as if to silence you, his eyebrows raised slightly. "I never said you were weak, I asked if you could handle it. You don't have to do this, I can get someone else to-"

You cut him off, extremely pissed off at this point. "I can handle it, Miguel! I don't know why you have this idea in your head that I'm not good enough to be a part of this, but I'll prove it to you!" You end your rant by opening a portal and stepping through it, leaving Miguel stunned. Lyla appears on his shoulder, filing her nails and pushing her heart-shaped glasses up her nose. "She's gonna get herself killed, ya'know."

Miguel sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose while turning back to his desk. "Yeah, I know. And I'll be ready."

---

thank you for reading! part 2 should be out very soon!

[mayajadewrites]

For Me (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

CHAPTER SEVEN: COLLEAGUES

Over the next 2 weeks you spend a lot of time with Levi. You learn his routine, what he likes to order at restaurants, all that good stuff. However, neither of you have spent the night at each others house. For you, you knew that it would be hard to control yourself if you were in bed with Levi. 

Levi enjoys the finer things in life, but not in a stuck-up way. He loves a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, but also doesn't mind staying in and having a movie night. He works a lot, which makes it so you only see him really at night and on the weekends. It gives you something to look forward to, but it doesn't feel like enough time. 

It's Wednesday - half way through the week. Since you and Levi have decided what you're relationship is (more like Levi decided) you haven't gone to the coffee shop much. He's been bringing you coffee before he heads to work, which is a sweet treat for you. 

This day is no different.

You hear a knock at your door and open it to see your stoic boyfriend holding your iced coffee and a bouquet of flowers. "You needed fresh ones." He walked into your apartment and took out the old flowers (from last week), cleaned the vase and set up the new bouquet. 

You sip your coffee as you watch Levi work the flowers. He meticulously places them and makes sure every flower is tended to. Your eyes wander down his body - he's wearing a navy suit that is perfectly tailored to him with chestnut shoes. "You look very handsome today."

"I have a big meeting today with some potential clients." Levi double checked the flowers. "These are good to go. I'm gonna head out now." 

"Have a great day." You smile as Levi takes a step towards you, his eyes swallowing your figure. You're wearing a tank top with no bra, and your comfy short shorts. Your ass basically falls out of them.

"Don't go outside like that." Levi presses his lips to yours, bringing his hand to your face. "This is for me only." 

"Okay dad." You roll your eyes, walking him to the door.

"Daddy is the only acceptable form of 'dad' that I'll answer to." His tone was flat, so you couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

He had to be, right?

"I'll call you when I'm on my lunch." Levi kissed your cheek swiftly before turning around and heading towards the stairs. You lean against your doorframe, still feeling Levi's kiss on your lips. This is really your life. Levi Ackerman is your boyfriend.

You're about halfway through your new novel at this point. You got in touch with your editor to let her know that you'll be sending a draft her way soon. This excites you - it's been months since you had any motivation to write. 

As you finish typing a sentence, you feel your phone vibrate in your lap. 

"Hello?" You tap the 'speaker' button.

"Why do you always answer the phone like you don't have caller id?" Levi said.

"Because that's just what people do. Sorry we're not all special specimens like you."

"Anyway. Our clients loved us, and the office wants to go out to happy hour to celebrate after work."

"Okay! Have fun. Are you coming over after?"

"You're coming with me. And then we're going home together."

"I missed the part where you asked me if I wanted to go."

"I didn't ask. Be ready by 6." Levi hung up the phone. Sometimes he can be so sweet, but other times it's like he forgets that he has other people to communicate with and we all don't think the way he does.

You sigh, shutting your laptop and pushing it towards the back of your desk. You turn your head to your closet, knowing you'll be tearing it up to find an outfit. You look at the time on your phone: 1:30PM. It's time to start getting ready.

You take an everything shower, making sure there's no hair anywhere on your legs. You moisturize your skin, wash your hair, everything.

This is the first time you're meeting anyone in Levi's circle. Even though he says they're his "colleagues" you know that that's his way of saying friends. You blow dry and curl your hair, watching the curls bounce before you brush them out into loose waves. Your makeup is simply but glowy - your go to.

Your outfit consists of a beige square neck body suit with straight leg jeans that are slightly distressed. You pick out a pair of beige heels to match - they're not too high to where you're uncomfortable but you'll be at Levi's height now. 

By the time you're done with everything, it's 5:45. You decide to pick up a bit around your apartment and spray your favorite vanilla perfume. 

Right at 6, there's a knock at your door. 

"What did I do to deserve seeing Levi Ackerman at my front door twice in one day?" You tilt your head to the side, smiling. 

Levi's eyes wandered to your chest, which was accentuated by the neckline of the bodysuit. You have a bigger chest, which you typically hide. You watched Levi's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "You look beautiful, per usual. Do you have everything? A bag for stuff you'll need for tonight?"

"Wait, why would I need that?"

"Because you're staying at my house tonight."

"Staying as in..."

"Sleeping over. You're sleeping at my house tonight. With me."

"I didn't know." You bit down on your bottom lip. "Ok, give me a few minutes. Sit down." You turn to grab a tote bag out of your closet and grab your essentials. Toothbrush, makeup remover, a change of clothes, a pair of UGG slippers, pajamas, and body wash. "Done." You hold up the bag with a smile plastered on your face. 

Levi nods as he takes the bag from you, turning off the light in your foyer. You lock the door behind you and triple check that its actually locked before you both descend down the stairs.

"So where's happy hour?" You ask as you watch Levi's hands on the steering wheel. 

"It's at this bar downtown that everyone likes to go to. I don't go out much, so I've only been there once when I got my promotion." 

You nod as he explains, gazing out the window. You feel Levi's large hand land on your thigh, squeezing it gently. "They're going to love you." 

"I hope so." It's like he knew exactly what you were feeling. That you were anxious to meet the people that are around him every day because they could think you're not good enough for him. They could have seen ex girlfriends that were prettier than you. Levi rubbed his thumb across your thigh for reassurance.

Levi helped you out of his car before leading you into the building, which was half bar, half restaurant. 

"Levi! You made it!" You look up and see a group of people with drinks in your hand. The one that called for Levi was one of the guys that was with Jean when he asked for your number.

"I'm still Mr. Ackerman outside of work." Levi squeezes your hand gently. "This is my girlfriend." Levi introduces you.

"So you're the reason he smiles!" A brunette woman with glasses walks up to you. "My name is Hange. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Likewise!" You shake her hand, smiling. 

"This is Erwin, my best friend and President of Ackerman Inc." Levi points to a tall blonde man with piercing blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you. Levi has told me a lot about you." Erwin shakes your hand.

"Not a lot. Don't listen to him." Levi rolls his eyes, introducing you to the rest of his colleagues. "This is my cousin, Mikasa. The one I was telling you about that loves your books. And this is her boyfriend, Eren." 

Eren was the one that Levi said to call him Mr. Ackerman. You smile as you meet the couple, noticing the similarities between Levi and Mikasa. They're both very poised and serious at all times.

Levi leaves you for a few moments to mingle. Mikasa grabs your arm gently to get your attention.

"I know my cousin can be an ass." She smiles. "But he really cares about you. He's talked about you and has even cracked a smile while doing so." 

"Thanks, Mikasa. I appreciate that. He's not the easiest to deal with." You laugh, glancing over at Levi. He's standing with Erwin and Hange as he waits for drinks at the bar. He doesn't bother asking you what you want to order, since it's always a white wine. 

Your nerves calm down a bit when Levi's fingers graze yours to hand you your glass. "You okay? Are you having a good time?"

"Yes, Levi." You take a sip of your wine. "Your friends are nice. I like them."

"Colleagues."

[lluzionz]

"Cpr"

-

Dan heng x reader

Tw: spoiler from the start of the game, gn!reader (trailblazer)

A/n: I know I haven't uploaded anything for two months now (but so many things happened (and still happening in my life) and I didn't had the motivation or inspiration to write anything, but I'm back now, hopefully. Love you <3

-

March pushed Dan Heng away before he could give you Cpr. Why did she do that? Why didn't she let him give it to you even tho you were awake? What were you saying he was only trying to help you and here you were fantasizing about his lips to yours. It felt wrong but right at the same time.

This thoughts kept on repeating on your mind, over and over again like some kind of a broken record stuck on repeate as you tossed and turned on your bed, trying to fall asleep but it was impossible. Opening your eyes slowly, you stared up at the ceiling, trying to think of something to do, to get Dan Heng out of your mind, but how could you? You were still able to feel his soft hand on your cheek as he leaned over you to give you cpr, his warm breath hitting your face as he came closer and closer. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink as an idea popped inside your mind and you wondered "How it would feel like if I kiss him?"

Placing your index finger to your lips, you tried to imagine the scene of you and Dan Heng kissing. Are his lips soft? Would the kiss be gentle and soft or rough? Would he kiss you back or just push you away before you could get a taste of him. You didn't know. "Well, there is only a way to find out." You said out loud as you jumped up from your bed and walked towards the door, opening it slowly. Your heart was beating like crazy inside your chest as you walked down the hallway of the train, quiet as a mouse in order to not wake anyone up, especially March.

Reaching his room, you didn't even bother to knock at his door as you slowly opened it and walked in. "Who's there?" Dan Heng asked as he sat up on his bed, alerted by the presence of someone in his room. "It's me, Y/N." You made yourself known as you closed the door behind you. "Y/N what are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He asked as he got up from his bed and walked towards you. "No, nothing is wrong." You said as you walked towards him, a flirtasious sensation in your steps. "Then why are you here?" He tried to ask you but you didn't reply to him. Instead you grabbed him by the collar and without any hesitation connected your lips to his.

To say that he was shocked would be a major understatment. His mind stopped working completely as he just stood there, eyes wide oped, staring at you. Pulling away, you couldn't help but chuckle at how red his cheeks had turned. He looked so cute, being all flustered like that. "Why do you look so embarrashed? Weren't you the one who almost gave me cpr?" You grinned as you raised a brow at him "But I don't need cpr." He tried to say but you cut him off. "Just shut up and kiss me already." He wanted to say something to that but preffered to stay quiet and instead do what you asked him to do.

Cupping your face into his hands, he leaned over to capture your lips into a soft kiss. His lips felt so soft and perfect as you two kissed gently but as time passed by, you couldn't resist the urge to grab him by the collar and slammed his body against a nearby wall. A small moan of pain escaped him, making you kiss him even harder. Gosh he was so hot, you could literally kiss him for hours on end. And the same went for him too. Ever since his eyes landed on you, he was unable to take the image of you out of his mind. The way you looked so peaceful while you layed there unconsious, the way his heart beat faster when March forced him to give you cpr, how sad he felt when she pushed him away from you and how much he wanted to connecy his lips to yours and now it was finally happening.

Smilling through the kiss, you started making your way down his neck, leaving wet kisses behind. Small, soft moans escaped him as he tried to muffle them with the sleeve of his shirt but you stopped him. "I want to hear your sweet sounds, don't cover them." You smiled that flirtatious smile that had him weak on the knees as you returned to his neck, leaving kisses and hickeys all over. His moans got louder and louder as your teeth bit into his flesh.

Using your hand, you ran it up and down his chest, feeling his somewhat muscular body. "I didn't expect you to like it so much. You murmured against his skin, causing him to blush. "You're doing me so well, keep going." He said without caring how this would made sound. Leaving a chuckle escape, you gave the man what he asked for and you were so good at doing this that he will make sure to have more moments like this with you in the future. Was he going to take advantage of your fantasies whenever he felt lovely and needed some company? Absolutely yes.

[jihyocentric]

hi guys.

if you don't want to read my ted talk about writing and taking a break, i'll just make it quick: i'm taking a break yet again, but this time i'm not sure when or if i'll be back. if you do want to know more, just keep reading. and i apologize in advance for this long ass thing.

i haven't been active lately for a couple of reasons, and being busy is one of them. the other reason is that i don't know if i want to keep going with this blog anymore. at least not at the moment.

writing is something i love to do and i probably won't ever stop writing, but lately i just genuinely haven't felt like making time to write. i guess this feeling comes mostly from a lack (? probably not the word) of response to the drabbles. maybe i'm being silly (i probably am) but i feel like in the past you used to be more responsive with stuff i actually wrote — fills and non requested drabbles, not general asks. mostly ongoing aus related stuff.

i've said this quite a few times but your feedback is really important to me, lumi, particularly. it might not be to other authors, but it's what keeps me writing. doing this for nobody doesn't really make sense in my mind... and i don't mean being 'active' as in leaving a like on the drabbles, because likes don't mean much to me, but i miss you guys actually talking about the stuff on the drabbles that you genuinely happy or that made you laugh when read it or that you just enjoyed to see. do you know what i mean?

and that's really what fueled me to write during these 2 years (almost) that i've been here. during these past months i know i've been quite busy and writing less than before, and each week i write less because i only used to make time to write when i knew you guys were waiting for it and that you'd enjoy what i wrote and come to me to talk about it... but ever since i started working and my classes came back, i keep thinking if it's worth it to write stuff if i won't know if you liked it or not.

and i also always feel like what i'm writing isn't good, and i know you will say otherwise, but it's a particular feeling. i can't help it. i know i'm doing the right thing when you feel the genuine need to come talk to me about stuff i wrote, because i might not like my own stuff, but if you do, then that's enough for me to keep trying to be better.

anyway, i won't keep talking and i've probably just wasted your time being silly and talking nonsense because you are quite active in general and there are other writers that are way better than me and don't get any attention at all, but i just felt like i had to explain why i'm not going to be writing for the time being and leave again — i promised i wouldn't just vanish for months like i did last year.

and i'm truly sorry to those who do interact with the stuff i write, i really do appreciate you all. i'm just probably tired and talking gibberish and maybe i didn't use the right words to express myself... all i was trying to say is that i'm not really motivated right now and really, really busy. and i guess you are too. i also don't want this to come out as 'scolding' (?) if this is the right word to use. i just feel like i am not writing good enough stuff for you to even have feedback to send over to me.

well that's all. i wanted to be transparent instead of leaving without a proper reason, because you deserve my honesty. thank you for the time 💛

[animal-lover-forever]

I hope it's okay when I ramble here a bit. If not, just delete the message.

I got mutuals that aren't so active. They only show up a few days before vanishing for weeks or months. But I cherish them as much as the one that are always here.

A few weeks ago I made a drawing to send it with a few words to one of my mutuals that I haven't heard of for months. Giving them encouraging and honest words. Making sure they know I'm always here for them, that I see them as a friend no matter how much time passed or how long we didn't wrote each other. They were there for me, they wrote the most comments under my posts and reblogged thing with the most motivating tags. We never talked much but we still saw each other as friends. I care for them and they for me.

And yesterday they responded in such a gentle way, I cried. I learned over the years to harden myself against such things, but the answer and to know they're okay and still there just moved my heart so much. I was happy to hear from them again. They will create a new blog here to begin anew, to get a second chance. They say to tell me when there back with a new blog, but even when they would forget it over the time: I will always hold them close to my heart.

And that's something I want to continue and wish we could see here more again! Mutuals writing small little messages to their moots, even when they vanish for a long time. Small gestures like a comment or a mention of a post they saw and reminded of them. Or a simple Hi in the DMs. Giving them a sign that is always okay to come to us to talk, that we're not angry or annoyed of them, that they don't need to apologise to take breaks no matter how inactive they were. Especially when they were gone for long. It's important, we all need such thing from time to time. We all need a little ray of sunshine from others.

I hope you have a good day, stay safe. And thanks for listening q(^-^q)

"I hope it's okay when I ramble here a bit. If not, just delete the message." - troublesjunkyard

BAD TROUBLE! HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WAY! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ

With the amount of times I come into your ask box to ramble or vent, why would you think such things!?

And how dare you suggest such things!

Just delete the message, she says.

You know what's funny, is that I was just about to send a vent in your askbox before I saw that you sent me an ask. ( っ- ‸ – c)

Also, it's good to care about others even if they aren't around often.

It shows them that someone will always be around for them. :3

I wish I could say that I have friends like that.

I've never held a relationship with someone for more than a year or two.

When I was younger, I was hard to get along with; and I got kicked out of school often, so the few friends I did make, I couldn't keep because I had to move schools.

Now, I just tend to keep to myself.

I'm a bit shy around new people, and don't tend to talk unless talken to.

Once I've warmed up to you and I know you, it's very hard to shut me up.

But because I don't talk unless talken to when around new people, it makes it harder to make friends.

If I'm being honest, my only friends are here on Tumblr.

I have no real friends out in the wild.

I can't just call my friends and ask them to hang out with me.

Google likes to remind me that I have no friends. :(

Me: "what to do when bored"

Google: "Hang out with your friends."

Me: ... "what to do when bored and don't have any friends"

Google: ... "Read a book?"

Me: ... Damn. If only I didn't have a 3rd grade reading level. :/

[rubiatinctorum]

Okay honesty time i am SO stressed out!!! i had a busy Friday and then waited a really long time to make a marketplace sale on Saturday and one of the people was a no-show and i had/have too many things listed — to the point there were things i realised i wanted to keep and not sell!!! and last time i did this i was like 'ok, purpose served and nothing lost, take the listing down and put it back where it belongs in my room no problem' and that was that — but tonight i'm feeling really sad about it!!!!! like oh no i accidentally almost sold things i love!!! even though they didn't get sold and i still have them and there's no harm done and there's no evil in thinking about selling something. it's a betrayal to no one and nothing if i almost made the wrong call but didn't. but now i feel bad and awful and terrible and based on the time of the month and other recent symptoms i think i might just be nearly ready to start my period again, i cry really easily a day or two before over things i can normally act normaler about. anyway soon i have to arrange sale meetings for things and pester people who no-showed if they want an alternate time (as if that's not foolish as hell bc hello!!! they didn't show the first time!!!!) and ask the people who've been pending on sales now for a while if they even want the thing (implication: damn are u even decided on this bc ur not moving to like. buy it or anything). one customer in particular is really trying my patience bc she won't confirm one way or another whether she wants something AND she's trying to bring the price down. it's already discounted!!! i can't sell it for less than that!!!! im already losing lots of money on what i paid for it i cannot bring it down even further. marketplace used to be fun (like. earlier this week) but now people aren't showing up on time or at all and i'm losing day after day after day to sitting in my living room looking out the window in preparation for someone arriving 30-45 minutes late (side note: i wish many lovely days for the person who arrived not only on time today, but early and still in my window of availability!!!! that was really nice and so much more refreshing compared to many late people lately) and now that i'm out of direct financial crisis but don't feel the motivation to recreationally spend, i feel now like all of this is kind of a chore. it's 11 days into August now and i feel like I made good use of 2.5 days of it. it's a third through the month and i feel like i've wasted most of it online trying to sell sell sell. i don't want to lose the end of the summer like this. Then again what kind of end of summer is it? We've had a few nice weather days, but most of August has been overcast and/or rainy. Not exactly going out weather. God, this sucks. Dull April, May, June weather. Beautiful July weather. Dull August. Then back into autumn. Is this where we're at now? One beautiful and warm month a year? This is the worst year for weather I think I've ever seen, and considering I spent most of the year looking forward to a bit of sun as my main thing to look forward to, this feels kind of sad. I guess I have to get used to going for walks again when it's foggy and rainy, like I did back in May and June. Maybe I'll even take up going to the mall again. I haven't been to the mall in over a month. I don't know what I'd do there, even. anyway i feel a bit better now and less stressed so i guess typing this had some benefit after all. i have a journal, i don't know why i couldn't say all this there, though i did write about some of it. i guess it's easier for me to be a yapper when i'm online. there's just something different about making my inside thoughts into outside thoughts

[charminggirl512]

hometown story // jax teller x oc

Jax Teller x F!OC (Dolly Dawson)

Warnings: 18+, language, violence, mentions of sexual assault, slight mentions of stalking, mentions of pregnancy/children

Word Count: 3,860

A/N: Long time, no see. Haven't really had the time or motivation to write, but I've been working on this one for some time. Enjoy!!!

"Just one more," He mumbles against my lips, his hands tangled in my hair that I spent an hour doing. 

"Jax, I've gotta get to court," I tell him as I press my lips against his once again. 

"I hate that we can't just do this all day. That we've got other responsibilities," He replies. I finally pull away from him and hand him my helmet. I peck his lips one last time and he groans when I take a step back from him so that he can't pull me back in.

"One day, when we're old and gray, we can spend all day kissing. But, right now, I've gotta go convince a very mean judge that this mom should have full custody of her kids." He smirks when I say old and gray, knowing that despite us only having been together for around five months, we were gonna grow old together. "I'll swing by my office once I finish up, run by your house to pick up that outfit I got for Abel, and meet you at the hospital." 

"I'll see you then, darlin'," He murmurs before using my jacket to pull me back against him for one last kiss. 

"Bye, baby." 

   I successfully convince the judge that the father shouldn't be able to have any type of custody over his three children after he left them alone for three days to go on a drinking binge while the mom was away for work. I was given this case on my first day at the firm I work at and it had been my most challenging one since moving to Charming. I was grateful to be done with it and go see my boys. 

   Abel was born a couple of weeks ago and I've been wrapped around his little finger ever since. I was with Gemma when she discovered Wendy passed out with a needle sticking out of her arm on the kitchen floor of the house that she and Jax used to share. I had spent the first couple of days alone with Gemma and Abel while Jax worked out his anger and decided that he was ready to meet Abel. Even though he wasn't technically mine, I loved Abel like my own and I was excited to raise him with Jax, even if Abel may only ever call me Dolly and not Mommy. 

   Since Jax picked me up from the courthouse yesterday, my car was still in the parking lot so I was able to drive myself to my office to drop off some files. I chat with the receptionist for a minute before opening the door to my beautifully decorated office completely destroyed. The cushions of my couch are sliced open, the pictures of Jax and I smashed on the carpet, and all of my desk drawers are open.

   My heart instantly drops into my stomach. He found me. I don't know how but he found me and he wanted me to know that. I take a second to let my mind spin out of control before I simply just turn around and walk out. I don't think I can handle cleaning that up right now, so the best thing for me to do was avoid doing so. I force myself to make it to my car before I start crying, warm tears sliding down my face as I pound my hands on the steering wheel. 

   I had been able to escape all of the drama and the fear for the past couple of months lost in my whirlwind relationship with Jax. I hadn't thought about why I truly left Georgia because no one had asked me for more information; they all just accepted that I wanted to get out from underneath my parents' thumbs. Nobody wants to think that there's some darker past, they just want to accept what's easy to understand. 

   Once my breathing's under control, I drive to Jax's house. My plan is to go about my day, as usual, talk to Jax at the hospital, and then leave. I can't let the two of them get hurt, or anyone else at the club. My parents were already involved in a complicated way but they were protected by their status. Jax didn't have that same protection here. 

   I run into the house, using the key that he had given me just weeks ago that I was now going to have to give back. I don't pay attention to my surroundings when I walk into the nursery, so it takes me a second to register that it's been destroyed just like my office. I can't hold off the sobs this time. Abel was a baby, just a few weeks old, and he was already being demeaned and disrespected. His room that he hadn't even been able to sleep in yet was destroyed after Gemma had put in all that hard work to make it a home for him. My heart broke for him more than it broke for myself and my decision was further solidified. I manage to find the tiny SAMCRO onesie that I had made by someone at the office in the mess of destroyed furniture and baby toys and run out of the house to drive to the hospital. 

   I walk up to the NICU and see just Gemma in the nursery, Abel wrapped in her arms. I want to hold him one last time before I leave so I walk in. She starts to greet me but stops when she sees my swollen eyes. 

"Sweetheart, what happened," She asks, her voice soft but concerned. 

"Can I just hold Abel," I ask, completely ignoring her question so that I don't start crying again though it doesn't do me much good because the tears start rolling when I look at his tiny face. She stares for a second before handing him to me and I settle into the rocking chair that's next to his incubator. 

"Hi, baby boy. I missed you today. I brought you a present. It's a onesie so that you can match your daddy." His eyes almost seem to light up when I say daddy and a sob breaks in my throat. The door to the NICU opens and I automatically know that it's Jax, but I can't look at him quite yet. 

"Dolly, baby, what's wrong? What happened?" When I don't answer him, he crouches down in front of me, resting one of his hands on my knee just below the hem of my pencil skirt.

"Look, Abel, daddy's here," I tell this innocent baby, ignoring Jax because I just want one last minute with the two of them before I break their hearts. 

"Dolly," Jax says more sternly this time and tilts my chin up so that I have to look into his eyes. "What happened? Did somebody hurt you? You gotta tell me what's wrong so that I can fix it." 

"Oh, Jax, you can't fix this. Nobody can fix this." He looks up at Gemma and she moves to take Abel away from me. I turn away from her. "Just let me hold him for one more second. Please." 

   They both stay silent while I murmur to Abel how much I love him, how much Jax loves him, how he's going to be so smart and kind. I tell him that it's okay to cry sometimes and that he doesn't have to be strong all the time, that it's okay to lean on others. I tell him that he's gonna be so brave because he's already done one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life - survive. I kiss his cheeks, his nose, and finally his forehead before I hand him over to Gemma.

   I let Jax help me stand up and lead me out of the room with a hand on the small of my back. We go out to the deserted waiting room, the sounds of phones ringing and people talking quietly in the background. When we sit down, he pulls me closer and cradles my face in his hands, waiting for me to start talking. 

"I didn't tell you everything about why I moved here. Yes, I was trying to escape my parents but I was also running away from someone else. Before I came here, I was engaged for four years to a man named Chase Wright. He was the Chief of Police in our town and was close friends with my father. My father encouraged me to start dating him during my sophomore year of college despite our fifteen-year age gap. I didn't really love him or even like him all that much, but it was what my father expected me to do, so I did it. He didn't beat me or ever lay a hand on me, but he would neglect me if I made him mad or yell at me if he thought I embarrassed him. Sex was always just about him getting off and he hardly ever gave me any kind of pleasure, telling me that I was selfish if I asked for something more. 

We were about two months away from getting married and I was working from home one day. I couldn't get my laptop to work right, so I was using his desktop in his office even though I wasn't allowed to. I accidentally opened the files on his laptop and found video after video after video of him and other police officers sexually assaulting women they had arrested or that were in the county jail. I have never been so disgusted in my entire life. There had to have been at least two or three hundred videos, Jax. I didn't know what to do, so I loaded them all onto a flash drive and went to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation because it was the only department above him.

He found out and chased me down to my parents' house. He tried to kill me, but my dad was able to scare him off and he went on the run. I couldn't sleep knowing that he could find me again so I packed everything up, found a small town across the country, and moved here, hoping that he wouldn't be able to track me down."

   Jax's hands on my face are practically vibrating with anger. He never interrupted me, but I could tell that there were several times when he wanted to. I knew that he was itching to start making phone calls and start tracking Chase down, but he didn't even know the worst parts yet. 

"When I got back to my office after finishing my case today, it was totally destroyed. I'm guessing he saw the pictures of you and me on my desk and flipped his shit. He was always very possessive of me and would lose it if another man tried to talk to me." I take a deep breath to collect myself and the tears start rolling once again. "He somehow managed to find your house and when I went by to pick up the onesie for Abel, he had trashed the nursery. I'm so sorry, Jax." 

   He stands up and starts pacing around the waiting room. He grabs one of the toys sitting on a table nearby and uses all of his anger to throw it against the wall, leaving a sizeable dent. My guilt makes me so nauseous that I think I'm going to puke but I have to keep talking.

"I'm gonna leave tonight and you'll never have to see me again," I say quietly which stops his pacing.

"What are you talking about?" 

"I'm gonna find somewhere else to go and I'll pack up my things and leave. I already left your house key on the kitchen counter. I'm so sorry that I did this, Jax. I never should have gotten involved with you knowing that he was trying to find me." 

"Dolly, you can't just leave," He tells me, the increased volume telling me that he's close to losing it. 

"I can't stay here and put you at risk! He'll kill me and he'll kill anyone that stands in his way. He has nothing to lose, Jax, nothing. I destroyed his life and now he's going to destroy mine. I won't let you and Abel be collateral," I say back and try to keep my voice even.

"I can protect you! He'll never even get near you, Dolly. You're not leaving."

"You can't protect everyone. You're a father now and Abel needs to be your first priority. He hasn't even been out of this building and someone has already violated him, his safe space. I love you and I love him and that's why I have to walk away."

"Don't say that," He growls at me as he stalks over, pressing our chests together. "Don't you dare say that to me right now." 

"I feel like it's the only way that I'm going to get you to understand why I have to leave." 

"The first time you said that to me was supposed to be when you were happy, not scared. It was supposed to be when we were laughing or you were holding my son or I was making love to you, not when you were telling me that you were leaving me. You don't get to say that to me while you're breaking my heart in two." 

"I needed to say it before I leave," I tell him and bring my hand up to hold his cheek. "You have to let me go."

"No." 

"Baby, please. Go see Abel. Talk to Gemma. Keep going on with your life. It's not going to stop without me."

   Instead of answering me, he kisses me, his tongue tracing his unspoken words onto my own. I savor the feeling of him holding me, lost in my mouth, telling me a million things with just one simple action. I let myself have this last moment as Jax and Dolly before I lose him forever, before I lose a piece of my soul. 

"You are my everything, Dolly Dawson. Come back to me, please just come back to me," He pleads and I nearly break at the sight of tears filling his eyes. I kiss him one last time and then I walk away. I don't look back.

   My house feels empty, emptier than it has ever felt. We didn't spend much time here, but as I look around, all I see is him. I see him in the pictures that he helped me hang up. I see him in the blue paint of my living room where we spent an entire weekend listening to music and painting. I see him in my bedroom, waiting to surprise me after work with a bouquet of flowers. 

   Suddenly, I don't see him anymore. All I can see is Chase standing by my nightstand with a pistol in his hand. I accept then that this is the end; the end of the running, the hiding, the fighting. I look into his eyes so that he can see that there is no fear in mine. I've accepted my death and now he just needs to follow through with it. 

"You've been quite difficult to hunt down, Dolly." His voice is cold, unfeeling. 

"Obviously not if you're here," I reply and the tick of his jaw is something that I'm familiar with. 

"I've had a lot of time to think about what you did these last couple of months." He won't fight with me about my sass, not right now. 

"What I did? What about what you did? You hurt hundreds of innocent women and you would've gotten away with it. I'm sorry that you're actually facing consequences for once in your privileged little life, but I will never apologize for protecting women from a predator like you." 

   That strikes a cord and he slams me against my bedroom wall with his hand wrapped around my throat. He's itching to do more, but he's not quite done with his dramatic villain monologue so he keeps me pressed there, his face just inches from mine. 

"You don't get to fucking talk about privilege. Your daddy is the only reason that you got away with half the shit that you've done. Don't act all high and mighty when you're just as well protected as I am. Well, I don't think your daddy would be too willing to protect you now if he knew that you've become a biker slut." 

"You shut your fucking mouth," I hiss at him. "You don't know shit about me or my life now." 

"I know that you spread your legs for the first man that looked your way the second you got into this town. I know that you feel no shame about being white trash now. I know that you're knocked up with his demon spawn. I could've protected you from all that shit, Dolly, if you had just kept your fucking bitch mouth shut." 

   I have no idea what he is talking about. Jax and I hadn't even entertained the idea of children yet, not with Abel just being born. That's when I realize that he doesn't know that Abel exists. He thinks that the nursery at Jax's is for our unborn child that doesn't exist. I feel relief until I hear the sound of a bike outside the house, and I know that things are about to get much worse.

"Dolly, you're not leaving," Jax yells as he enters the house. At the sound of his voice, Chase spins me so that my back is pressed against his chest and his gun is pointed at my stomach with his arm wrapped across my chest. I close my eyes when Jax's footsteps enter my bedroom.

"Put the gun away," Chase shouts at Jax, pushing the tip of his gun into my stomach. 

"Let her go, man. You don't have to do this." Jax, always trying to help people, even when he knows that they can't be helped. 

"She ruined my life. The only way this ends is with her dead."

"Jax, please just go. Please," I beg. I don't want him to see this and have to live with it for the rest of his life. 

"I'm not leaving without you," He replies, his eyes never leaving Chase's face. 

   Jax raises his gun and points it at Chase. I close my eyes, afraid of what I'm going to see. A shot rings out, quickly followed by another. I feel Jax's arms wrapped around me before I feel the pain of the bullet embedded in my stomach. The thud of Chase's body falling makes me open my eyes and gasp out at the pain. 

"You're okay, baby. You're okay. Breathe, just breathe," Jax instructs, the panic in his voice doing nothing to calm either of us. 

"I don't wanna die," I whimper as he tries to put pressure on my stomach. 

"You're not gonna die, Dolly. I'm not letting you die, okay, darlin'? I've gotta love you a whole lot more before I let you die," He cries, and the tears in his eyes tell me that it's worse than he's trying to let on. "Chibs! Chibs!"

   I'm so thrown off that Jax is calling for the Scotsman right now that I don't notice the sound of the front door slamming open again and Chibs and Tig running in, Opie not far behind. Chibs drops down next to me and starts giving everyone instructions, telling Tig to call an ambulance and Opie to get some towels. 

"What were you going to do, kidnap me if I told you I wasn't staying? I really don't think it would take three of them to take me out," I tell Jax and he seems surprised that I would be joking about something right now.

"Wasn't going to lose you and I'm still not going to," He answers, brushing my hair back and wiping away tears that I didn't feel fall. 

"Is Abel okay? Turns out Chase didn't know about him, but I still wanna make sure he's okay."

"He's just fine, babe. Gemma's with him. Stop worrying about everyone else right now," He orders. Chibs moves Jax's hands away from my stomach and puts even more pressure on the wound than Jax was. I throw my head back at the pain and can't hold in the small scream I let out.

"He thought I was pregnant," I gasp out to distract myself from the pain. "Chase thought the nursery was for our baby, not Abel."

"Abel is our baby. You've been his mom since he was born, Dolly, and you're gonna be his mom for the rest of his life," He tells me sternly. Any other time and I probably would have melted at what he was saying, but I'm distracted by the sounds of sirens. 

   Everything becomes a blur after that. There seem to be a million paramedics in the house and they keep trying to push Jax away from me, which just makes him upset which makes me upset which makes me bleed more. It seems like it's going to be an endless cycle until they finally decide that Jax is not leaving me alone and work around him. He climbs into the back of the ambulance with me, never letting go of my hand. I finally pass out from all of the blood loss, and the darkness is like a warm hug. 

   When I wake up, the lights in the room are dim and it's freezing in the room. Jax is asleep in the chair next to my bed, his hand clasped loosely in my own and the sounds of his light snores echo throughout the room. I gently slide my hand out from his and attempt to stand up to grab his hoodie that's sitting on the chair at the end of my bed, except I almost fall over and loudly grab onto the rolling table by my bed. Jax jerks awake, his arms flailing when he doesn't feel my hand in his own. 

"I'm here. I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just trying to grab that hoodie but didn't realize that my balance isn't super good," I reassure him as I sit back down on the bed, blinking away the little black dots that seem to cover most of my vision. 

"Darlin', you don't need to be moving. You could bust a stitch or fall and hurt yourself. Lay back down and let me get it for you." Despite my distaste for being ordered around, I listen to him and try to hide my sigh of relief. He's gentle as he pulls the hoodie over my head and pulls my hair out from where it gets stuck. I lean into his hand as he slides it onto my cheek, his thumb rubbing little circles. 

"I love you," I whisper, turning to kiss his palm. 

"I love you, too, darlin'. So much," He whispers back. "Thought of losing you almost killed me. You're everything, baby, everything and so much more. Don't try and leave me again." 

"I promise. Never gonna leave you, long as you don't leave me first.

[princeescaluswords]

I don't necessarily want to give them fuel to the fire but, one of your hot takes has stayed with me for months now. And that is the argument that Deaton being a bad guy is very lazy and caricature-like. At least in the manner that they do it. And I've asked myself well what reason could he be a bad guy? And try as I might there is no reason I can come up with that doesn't instead make Derek the bad guy. Going off of Just Cannon Derek didn't make the best first impression on anyone until season 3. And my question is, if you choose to humor the matter, what reason would you give for Deaton that would actually make him the bad guy that would actually hold weight.

Well, first off, personally, I wouldn't. It might sound like an entertaining exercise, but nothing we do exists in a vacuum. There is no scenario I could conjure, even if I were a 100 times a better writer than I am (which wouldn't be hard), that wouldn't exist within the fandom context. It's inescapable, no matter how many people pretend otherwise, that the products of your mind are produced and received within an established cultural setting. For over a decade, a significant majority of this fandom has indulged in racist resentment toward a black male character because he exhibited the right to pursue his own agenda and maintain his own boundaries, and said agenda was centered on mentoring a Latino lead protagonist and not on any of the white male characters that they preferred. That Teen Wolf wrote Alan Deaton as possessing the same agency as white male characters is a crime for which it will never be forgiven, and even the seemingly innocent of act of imagining unwritten stories where he is the villain feeds this injustice. Period.

I will, however, talk about how it did not need to be this way. If all the stories written by the Teen Wolf fandom -- the ones labeled Untrustworthy Deaton, Dark Deaton, Evil Deaton and the many more which take that as a given but don't bother to give it a proper label -- had been written with the actual purpose of making Deaton a plausible villain and not to salve fandom's indignation, we could have a conversation about it. (I'm not saying that there isn't any well-written Villain Deaton stories, but I haven't found any yet) This is because transforming canon should be a source of endless variation, turning heroes into villains and vice versa, but that transformation, like everything else, can be perverted, especially if the goal is vengeance for an action that exists outside of the narrative itself.

To my mind, I find that transforming a benevolent character like Deaton into a villain requires a fanfiction author to pay attention to three characteristics. (Not strangely at all, I feel that these are important for an original villain as well.)

Motivation: Why does the villain do what they do? When I write, it helps me to think about it in two aspects -- their specific goal in the story and the character flaws that enable it. Teen Wolf was very good at showing both aspects. Peter Hale's specific goal was vengeance, first against the Argents and then against Scott McCall, enabled by his enormous sense of immoral entitlement. (That's why I don't buy his Season 6 rehabilitation, because while his specific goals changed, his entitlement did not vanish). Gerard wanted to survive his cancer and establish his legacy, enabled by his ruthless disregard for the actual benevolent purpose of his family. All of Teen Wolf's villains were memorable because attention was paid to motivation. A problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that the author doesn't give a damn about why Deaton does what he does; he's a villain solely because the author wants him to be.

Threat: To be a villain, the character has to have the capability to succeed. They have to be more powerful, more cunning, or have a lot of people on their side. Stupid, inane bureaucrats can be villains, for example, because they can use the might of the law to get their way. It's the primary difference between antagonist and villain; Teen Wolf also takes care to establish the sense of threat. Season 2 Derek creates a trio of eager and sad child soldiers, punches through concrete, and stomps on Scott's throat with little difficulty. Matt controlled the kanima. Another problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that Deaton is seldom an actual threat. Stiles is always smarter and/or more magically powerful; Peter and Derek are always able to tactically overwhelm him without much problem; Deaton's usually alone in his wickedness save for his moronic catspaw who is somehow the benefit of Deaton's schemes without actually being able to do anything. The authors aren't really interested in telling a story with tension so they don't give Deaton an opportunity to win; they're simply trying to justify the coming lynching (and yes, I use that word deliberately).

Consistency: The actions of the villain have to conform to both their motivations and their role. This seems simple, but a lot of authors are so eager to get their vengeance on a character in a television show that they just skip the part where they make the plot make sense. For example, so many times Villain Deaton is out to suppress Stiles's overwhelming magical heritage yet that author leaves the scene in Raving (1x08) intact, no matter how little sense that makes. Or Villain Deaton wants to destroy the Hale Pack, but left Peter unmolested in the hospital for six years, doesn't accuse Derek of kidnapping him in Night School (1x07), teaches Isaac a useful skill in Battlefield (2x11), and doesn't take the opportunity to finish Derek off in Fury (2x10).

I would be a lot more content with the Villain Deaton stories I have read if they would just pay attention to the actual transformation they claim is their goal. But they're not interested in turning one story into another. The author's goal is to express their racist frustration that a black authority figure denied white prioritization and focused on a Latino lead protagonist instead of a white male character. That's his crime, and these stories are here to deliver the proper label and the proper punishment.

[leftforthestars]

Finally, I'm done writing this thing.

I'm going to be completely honest on why I'm so abnormal about Justice. (No, I genuinely was not kidding about that essay earlier. And you know it's real shit when I actually use caps and proper grammar and whatnot.)

So much of my music taste is based on what others recommend to me, especially my parents. And that on its own is special, but when it's what happens 99% of the time, it sort of becomes a normal feeling.

So, imagine discovering a band on your own in this situation, one you think is actually good.

When I first listened to D.A.N.C.E, it was unlike anything I had ever heard (and seen, as I watched the music video) at the time. But there was a slight bit of familiarity in the sound, one I somewhat associated with Daft Punk, a band I had started listening to only a few months earlier. Of course, I now know that Justice are very different from Daft Punk, but I didn't realize that at that moment. I'll go into that in a few paragraphs.

It took about 2 or 3 months for me to warm up to the rest of their music, but when I finally did, it changed A LOT for me.

“The cross is a very strong visual symbol, it evokes the idea of communion. Do not see any other message! I read that some spoke of us as Christian electro. Stop! Everyone is welcome. Yes, we convert the public, but only to our music.”

-Xavier de Rosnay

...And they had succeeded in doing just that. They had converted me to their music. That was when I realized they weren't all that much like Daft Punk. While Daft Punk's music sounded much more clean, more polished, Justice weren't afraid to get their hands dirty. They weren't afraid to keep people guessing with each album that came out. Not saying Daft Punk didn't change things up, because they did. But each album sounded so different, that when I heard Get Lucky on the radio for the first time, I didn't even realize it was them.

Justice, however, somehow managed to keep that sort of signature Justice-y feel in each of their albums, despite the major differences between their three studio albums. I don't know how the hell they accomplished it, but because of that, I only proceeded to become more and more obsessed with their music. Each song I listened to never failed to impress me. I mean it when I say the French electro wizards had me fucking hooked. Each time I listened to their albums, it only got better and better. It didn't take me long to just goddamn absorb, for lack of a better word, pretty much anything and everything involving them.

Whenever I reached tough points, some of their songs would play a part in somewhat helping me out of those spots. It motivated me. It kept me going. To name one specific song, Randy. Yes, the song I named myself after. It was seriously that influential to me. I talked a little bit about it in this post after an anon jokingly sent me an ask with the lyrics to the song. (Anon, if you're reading this, I'm thanking you once again.)

Anyway, soon, I started doing research on Gaspard and Xavier, and it gave me people I could look up to. People I wanted (and still want) to be like. It was kind of surprising, honestly. I never thought I would look up to guys like them so much. In fact, I recently watched their A Cross The Universe tour documentary, and I was somewhat shocked to learn that they just seemed like fairly normal guys (Although I'm still wondering what the hell I even watched!!)

If you're reading this and haven't yet listened to Justice, I highly recommend you do. I'm not even joking, they've changed my fucking life.

TL;DR: I just think they're neat.

[that-disabled-princess]

fic writer ask game! :) 🍭 🍹 🌮

Hi hi! Thanks for the ask <2

I answered 🍹 here!

🍭 What's been your most challenging story to write, and why?

Oof okay. Lavender hearts is definitely one of them. It was very emotionally draining to write, sitting with all that pain and fear and hurt for months on end (as I wrote it for COTTA and was working on it from April-ish to September). It's also a topic that's not brought up in school when you're doing the Cold War unit, so I had almost zero starting point and not much to go off of when I first started researching. It took some digging and fancy searching to find what I wanted.

It was also severely exhausting and emotionally draining to write. The Lavender scare was a dark period of queer history, so sitting with all that fear and pain and turmoil while writing Lavender hearts took a toll on my mental health. I cried on more than one occasion, especially while listening to podcasts, and I think I almost stopped writing it at one point. It was a very heavy fic to write.

🌮 How do you balance the desire to write for yourself versus the desire to write for an audience?

Oh man, that's a tough one. Okay, so... I don't really have a big long answer like I see other writers give when they answer questions like these, but:

I guess what happens for me is... I write what I want to see. Aromantic characters, disabled characters, etc. Those fics tend to not be as popular, which can be really disheartening. DLDR and YMMV and all, but it's saddening in a way, knowing that--in general--fics including aro and/or disability themes are less popular. It's one of the reasons I stopped posting so much.

The last time I tried to write for others (what was supposed to be my 2023 COC), I burnt out, broke down in my friend's DMs, and couldn't write for weeks. I attempted to write incredibly sappy romance and it... didn't exactly pan out. I got really icked out by what I was writing (marriage proposal) while trying to write what others wanted to see (allorose snowbaz in love), and... yeah. I haven't done that since 😅

Mostly, I just write for me now and write what I want to see, and if I'm up for it or motivated enough, I might share a bit of what I wrote.

Don't know if that quite answered the question, but there ya go.

From this ask list

[boyfhee]

jay is the husband who would bring you a flower a day, searching what each flower mean 🥺 fuck it, i cant have him but you can.

thanks, you can definitely give me more tips for counselling hehe. i don't know if she will take bipc but she says i will cause one day she tell, ill take arts amd commerce other day ill take mec and other day, polytechnic haha like she chamges it everyday so i really cant tell.

but she is studying in 10th so, a few more months and she will decide what is good for her. the fact that there will be no boards for the coming 10th students 😔 why were we born in the 2000's era caelin? why?

i dont think you will faint in faint of the cadaver, i have seen dissection videos on youtube before i join pcm so, i know the courage it takes to stand near it and do it + when you sleep alone at night, what if it haunts you 😭 nooo, i am done for sure.

since i am an ENGINEERing student, can't talk about it but i will always talk medicine with you. please share me what you learn sometimes caelin, ok? hope your medicine years will go smoothly <3

i got into kpop early 2020, day before bts on comeback 😁 i never knew what were comebacks or debut or contents etc etc. until i started stanning bts. and then enhypen since the day their profiles were released 🤧 i saw my bois grow, you cant ask me how i suffered. eggies will definitely cry if you ask them about iland.

what groups did you stan during your early kpop days??? and what kdramas or anime were your firsts?? i am 17 so it's okay if i interact with you right?? i saw your carrd too, but asking again 😌

anyway, goodnight caelin, hope you meet jay in your dreams. tell me if you guys got married or not :0 and when you see this, it will be morning so happy morning <33 and happy bakhrid.

— lover clun anon ^3^

im tweaking please stop . literally wanted to write a jay fic as we speak, but i have no motivation to write these days TT

OMG tenth graders are like that !!! my brother is also in tenth and one day he wants to go in soft engineering and the other, astrophysics or lawyer, it's a mess. he hates bio though, so med is definitely not an option for him :"> AND NO BOARDS FOR TENTH ANYMORE ? god hates me. out batch felt so experimental tbf :/

i love watching dissection / surgery videos, but what if i can't stand the smell ㅠㅠ gna sleep at night after reciting hanuman chalisa bruv o_o also my cousin is a dentist and she told be about a dream she had where he was running away from a huge jaw ?? chasing after her ?? it was a couple days before her finals lmfao

and i would love to hear you talk about engineering too :D not that i know a lot, but maybe this is my chance to expand my knowledge >< i will surely tell you what i learn ( was revising thorax anatomy yesterday btw ) hope engineering treats you well mwah

ohh omg i used to stan bts ! like around blood, sweat and tears era ?? it lasted till they they dropped idol i think ? and then it felt like their music changed drastically so i stopped listening to them, but i do have a few new songs that i like, mostly solo works that too of jk only TT i have a v bad habit of not listening to new songs for some reason

actually, two of my friends gushed about iland, but i was never into survival shows so i just listened to them and hyped them up but never focused on it. then i saw that sunghoon was debuting as an idol— i knew him since he was a figure skater, but that still didn't convince me to check them out lmfao TT but i came across fever one day and i'm telling you, i listened to it for weeks straight before even bothering to check the group out hehe ( _ _; ) even though i haven't watched iland, i've seen clips and that gave me an idea of how the show was

my first kpop group was exo ! i stanned bts shortly after, and then was introduced to nct, then svt, now enhypen. although i have been a casual listener to a lot of groups, esp ggs. and the only ggs i've ever stanned are formis and aespa >< my first kdrama was suspicious partner, i love it so much :D the chemistry is so good ++ it has a mystery element so i love it even more. and first anime was haikyuu TT i love them sm, it's truly my comfort show

now tell me about you :O your first kdrama, anime, first bias, how did you come across kpop, do you collect albums / merch— anything !

ps i didn't meet jay in my dreams ( for some reason, whenever i have enha dreams they're super weird and the boys try to kill me most of the time ) i had a nice sleep nonetheless, hope u did too ! eid mubarak to you as well ^_^

[blindedguilt]

It's been quiet for some time, Leonard had noticed — not unlike the time he spent in the forest. It left him feeling some way he couldn't exactly tell. Was it unease? Possible loneliness? Either one was a feeling he hadn't expected to come back in such a way, but similarly, again, it had dug up a familiar memory of the forest...

Having finished tending to the small bonfire where he sat, Leonard's shoulders dropped and his head leaned back. For the first time since his pact — since meeting Seere — he wished he could be relieved of his blindness if only to confirm he wasn't alone as he thought he was.

The bonfire's warmth kept him comfortable, at least, as did the hope of the momentary thought that echoed throughout his mind: Time would tell.

//So this isn't an easy decision, but after a couple weeks of mulling it over, I've decided to put this blog into semi-permanent hiatus - basically, if things change either with the state of the RPC or my motivation to write I'll be more than eager to return, though it does seem unlikely.

//Things have been quiet lately, and it's of course by no means anyone's fault for being quiet!! (I can't blame them, life and Tumblr bullshit have taken a toll on a large portion of the RPC as a whole lately) But in the end, I think it had more of an effect on my motivation to write than even I expected. I tried for the past year or so to "Get back on my feet", as even now I deeply miss Leonard and being able to write him, but evidentially, I haven't gotten very far QwQ

//That said!! While this could be it for this blog, if anyone wants to discuss plans for plotting or even just chatting over Discord (At the end of the post), lemme know! One of the hardest things about the choice to leave this blog behind is definitely the loss of community that comes with it, there were a lot of people who followed me and that I briefly spoke to these past months who I don't want to cut off a potential friendship with just because of my own personal circumstances!

//And going onto that topic, I won't be shutting down or removing any current drafts or asks in my inbox in the event I ever magically DO get motivation to write again or something changes, and of course, that in turn means the blog itself will be staying as well!! You might have guessed, it goes without saying that this blog and the interactions on it mean a great deal not to just me, but (At least I hope!!) some of you. It's also a bit of why I wanted to "wrap up" the blog with the in-character piece at the top, even given my issues with writing (I may add to it to make it feel more "complete", given I kinda don't like how half-assed it feels currently), it just didn't feel fair to go for what could be forever without letting him speak his final piece. :,)

//I won't spend too long waxing out all the sentimentals, but I've stated over and over how when I first made this blog, I really wasn't expecting it to last much more than a couple weeks before moving onto another character. It's kind of impossible for me to state just how much this blog and all the experiences on it mean to me personally and the impact it's left, both personally, as I mentioned before, but also in my enjoyment and love for Drakengard 1 and 2 and Leonard's character specifically! Being able to dive into his mind and find someone I can put together so easy with such a well-constructed tragedy, it's not much of an overstatement to say that ironically, being able to play and put my own mind and problems away for one I not only cared to look into, but one I could more easily pick apart and explain the actions of while being layered enough and having enough facets to make it interesting. Leonard in a lot of ways was and is a sort of second life for me, but in a way I didn't have to deal with the burden of having a psychical body or firsthand perspective! lmao

//And not to be sounding all overdramatic or anything but as I said, it's letting go of not just what feels sort of like a little hideout or small part of me I like to nurture and keep from falling into rot, but this blog is some of the most fun I've had in a horribly otherwise busy, yes, but very mundane outside life. It's sort of pathetic to admit, but I mean it in the best way I can when I say I haven't really gotten so emotionally engaged with anything in a long time. Just the small interactions and memorable snippets from this blog, both from long-standing partners, people who fell off, or even people I just spoke to once and then never again still play over in my head and definitely spark a lot of joy when I really need it! I'll be honest, there's not one day that goes by where I don't think of at least one interaction I've had here. I remember my pain at being in a different timezone and always falling behind the drama before I went to the US and could finally catch up. To update on that: I'm not doing too well in the US in all honesty, but I'm doing my best to get on my feet and making progress!! One of the first things I always did in difficult situations was, unironically, use this blog to reference some old posts and memes to laugh and think about all the new connections, subplots, and jokes that were going to be shared.

//I guess the final point I'd like to make is a short one, but a major argument I had against shutting down when the thought first entered my mind, and the hardest part of all this is the loss of potentiality. I had a lot planned for Leonard, both things that I actively wanted to do and just general questions of "What kind of people will he meet with next? What will he think of them, and how long will they get to develop with each other?" The thought both of meeting new people and the interactions that could be shared with them, as well as all the different interactions and shenanigans that I thought might be in store when the DOD RPC came back was a major motivator in why I kept trying to fight my writer's block, and why I even kept this blog going for the past year with barely any activity to speak of. Even going on Discord, as you might imagine, can be limiting in its setup compared to just being able to search and see who's out there via tumblr - and joining communities can be quite an issue being a Leonard mun, specifically!!

//But either way, I'll be sure to find my way around it one way or another, and hopefully, by some divine miracle, I'll just end up back at this blog anyways!! Again, the chances are slim, but I'm really holding out here dskhffkdbhdkh

//I think that should be it based off what I wanted to say, Leonard's left nice and comfy at his campfire, and it's getting late so with ALL that said, if we've spoken or never have before (ESPECIALLY if we never have, I like to believe you followed for a reason so I'd love to speak to you so we can get to know each other better, plot, or just chat!!), please consider following me on Discord!! I'm usually on there, and always happy to talk (Unless I'm on Do not Disturb, but that's hardly ever lol):

//My discord is: barnabism

//Anyways, I apologise for the downer announcement, but this has been wracking my brain for the past few days so I'm at least glad just to get the hard part over with. :,)

//Thank you all for over two years of writing!! Please don't be afraid to reach out, and as always, if you have any questions, please ask!! ^^