#i haven't had motivation to write for months don't ask me why but i didn't wanna force it
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t0yac1d · 7 months ago
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OKAY, GREAT. SOOOOOOJRNDNEJE LIKE JEALOUS EDDIE? (I've been on a jealous binge lately 😭) you and steve have been getting close recently and he's been flirting with you.. (GASP! but you're dating Eddie 😦.) And you always roll your eyes at it pushing him away from you while you laugh not thinking much of it. but then eddie overhears steve talking about you in a"The things I would do to her man, to bad Eddie got her before me." and he's like had enough so smutty time!!! and he js marks you up and everything for stevie to seeee.
Always Forver (E.Munson x F!Reader)
Warnings: smut, jealous sex, marking, biting, praise, hair pulling
Word Count: 1,305
Notes: I'm gonna be completely honest, idk how to really write Eddie's character so please pray that I don't fuck this up! I'm also deeply sorry for the extremely long delay, I haven't been motivated to write much, AND I don't remember the names of Steve's friends from season 1 so I chose random names.
Notes (2x): I'm back from hiatus! I've been working hard these past couple of months but I am back now! Also, I will be posting a story soon AAAHHHH I'll be sure to post info of it here and where you can read it if you're interested!
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You've never thought anything of it, the way Steve treated you; how he touched you, spoke to you, cared for you. You thought he was just being the good friend that he is. You never paid any attention to the words he said to you, his flirtatious nature is almost natural to him and a part of who he is, so you thought he was just being himself. You'd brush off his words and lightly push him away with a chuckle each time.
"Babe, I just don't like the way he openly flirts you. He knows we're dating; he just doesn't care." Eddie sulked as he watched you take a shot.
The two of you were attending a party; a party your good ol' friend Steve was throwing.
You caressed his face and wrapped one of his curls around your finger, "It's nothing, he's like that to everyone. His words have no weight." You then gave him a smile and kissed his cheek before walking off. You walked past Steve and gave him little wave before meeting up with Nancy and Robin.
Eddie let out a little huff and shrugged the weary feeling off. He trusts you, and if you say that Steve's words mean absolutely nothing, then they mean absolutely nothing.
He walked to the fridge, grabbing another beer when he overheard something he wish he didn't.
"Did you see how her ass just looked in that skirt?" James asked, eyes trained on the shape of your ass in your baby pink skirt. "The things I'd do just to get a taste." Nick sighed.
"What about you, Steve? You're pretty close to her, you never wanted to get between her legs?" he continued, focus now on Steve.
"Trust me, I have. Still do." he answered. Steve sighed and slowly shook his head, "The things I'd do to her, man. Too bad Munson got her before I could."
Eddie got tense at the words that spilled out from their lips. Those disgusting words that were all targeted at you. He closed the fridge door and made his way to you. He took your hand in his and led you to the bathroom.
"Uh-"
You couldn't get a word out before his lips were on yours and your back against the door. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close. You don't know what had gotten into him, but you weren't complaining.
Eddie pulled away and moved you to the sink, he made you face the mirror pushed you against the porcelain. He grabbed and groped your ass, sighing to himself, "Hate to say it, but he was right. Your ass looks amazing in this skirt."
"Who- Who said that?" you asked, "Doesn't matter." he grunted. You were lost in the thought of someone other than your boyfriend would say that about you. But now you have an idea as to why he's acting the way he is.
He lifted the back of your skirt up and rubbed your lower back, "Now, be good girl and be as loud as possible."
"What-"
With one, harsh thrust his cock was in you and you were bent over, your face practically touching the mirror. Eddie's thrusts were rough and hard. You tried to be quiet, not wanting to draw any attention to the bathroom and not wanting people to hear the noises you'd make for this man.
Eddie pulled and tugged at your hair, pulling you close to him, "Make some noise." he grunted. His voice was husky, and his scent intoxicating. You wanted to moan, to scream but you also didn't want any attention from anyone outside. But it was starting to get difficult to not make any noise.
You whimpered and whined whenever you felt the tip of his cock brush against your cervix. "Louder baby," he sighed, the feeling of your pussy tightening around his cock sent shivers throughout his body. "Just let it out, don't think about anyone else but the two of us."
Broken moans fell from your lips as you gripped the porcelain sink and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You pushed all of your worries to the side and listened to Eddie's words.
He grabbed your jaw and forced you to look in the mirror, "Good job princess, such a good girl," he smiled, locking eyes with you. "Such a pretty girl."
Eddie's eyes moved down to your neck and shoulder, which were exposed by the top you were wearing. A lightbulb switched on in his head and he slowly moved his mouth towards the most exposed spots.
He licked, nipped and kissed at your neck, testing the waters before even daring to bite into your beautiful skin. "Do it," you breathed. Eddie looked up and his eyes locked with yours again, "Do it, I want you to."
That was all he needed in order to continue.
He sunk his teeth in your soft skin, earning a hiss and moan from you in return.
Eddie left bite marks and hickeys all over your neck, and down your collarbone.
He hasn't done it before, but this just unlocked a whole new world for him that he will continue to do.
Eddie grabbed and groped your tits as he felt him dick twitch, he was so close to cumming and he can tell you were too. The way your moans went up an octave or two, the way you gripped the edge of the sink, the way your pretty eyes rolled back, the way your mouth fell open.
Eddie's hands made their way under your shirt and bra, he pinched and played with your nipples, the sensation sending goosebumps throughout your body and to your core.
You were so close, and you just wanted to cum.
You just wanted to cum for him and show him you're his good girl.
"E-Eddie..." you stuttered, "Hm?" he hummed, his pace getting faster and his hands gripping at your tits. "I'm so close, please," you didn't know what you were begging for; he was giving you everything you wanted.
Eddie brought one of his hands down and between your legs, he played with your clit, stimulating it.
You moaned and moaned; you were sure someone out there could hear you over the music. The bathroom smelled like sex, pure and raw sex.
You came and creamed all over Eddie's cock, you were sensitive to every movement right now. Eddie came inside of you, painting your walls white with his nut. When he slowly pulled his cock out of you, his nut was dripping out of you.
It was definitely a sight he loved to see. He used his fingers push the cum back inside of you and he pulled your panties back up.
"Try not to let anymore drip out of you, 'kay?" he asked, smiling.
You gave him a nod and he kissed the top of your head, forehead, nose, cheeks, lips and hands. He can't do much aftercare here, but that doesn't mean he won't show his love after fucking you.
Eddie took your hand and lead you out of the bathroom and back to the party. "You can go back to what you were doing my love."
You chuckled at his actions and walked back to Nancy and Robin; walking by Steve on your way to them.
You couldn't see it, but Eddie could.
Steve's face changed from, admiration and lust to surprise and disgust.
Surprise: He didn't think you were the type to be into that.
Disgust: It was Eddie's lips that were on you.
He scoffed and his eyes trailed down your body and to your ass. That's when he saw something dripping down your thigh.
If he wasn't as disgusted before, he's definitely disgusted now.
Guess he never had a chance after all.
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iluvmattsbeard · 9 months ago
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lost time (m.s)
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master list
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: nothing!
preview: your parents and the triplets parents have been best friends ever since before you guys were even born. you were sort of forced to grow up with the triplets. you and Matt were the closest. you two were hard to separate. but as you got to high school, you sort of fell off wanting to go do your own things. now as adults, you guys reunite and decide to make up for lost time.
a/n: i’ve been having so much inspo to write. you guys are keeping me motivated! i really appreciate it. listen to the song while reading, it really sets the scene. i encourage this with every imagine i write! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE VERY APPRECIATED!
"Y/n!" you hear your mother shout out from excitement as she runs over to you. you put down your luggage before embracing her in a hug, "hi mom! I missed you so much." you say rubbing her back. "I missed you more Y/n!" she says pulling away, giving your dad a chance to greet you. you haven't seen them in months. you were currently living in New York after you finished high school. you always wanted to live in the big city. you were grateful for the opportunity you received. you were majoring in the Arts. it was something you always wanted to do, but being apart from your family in Boston was the hardest thing you've had to go through.
"let's get inside. we have something to tell you." your mom says with a smile. you nod as you grab your luggage but, your dad ends up taking it from your hands. "dad I got it." you say letting out a soft laugh. "no you're our guest." he says letting out a chuckle. you three walk inside the house and you take off your coat. it was currently winter time. that was the reason why you were back home. it was December 20th, five days before Christmas. you were home for the holidays. you hang your coat on the rack and take off your shoes. you walk around analyzing everything. it was still the same, except for the fact that it was decorated for Christmas. you head towards the Christmas tree as you reach out for an ornament that had your elementary school picture in it. "did you really have to add this?" you ask with a soft laugh. "it was too cute not to add sweetie!" your mom says handing you a mug of her homemade hot chocolate.
"thank you mom." you say taking it. "so, what was it you needed to tell me?" you ask taking a sip. "Marylou, Jimmy, and their boys are coming to spend the holidays with us!" you almost choke at your mother's words. "they're back in Boston?" you ask with an awkward smile. last time you seen the triplets, it wasn't quite the ideal farewell. at least with Matt it wasn't. you still talk to Nick from time to time, Chris would like your social media posts, and Matt? well, nothing was happening between the two of you. not ever since high school at least. "yeah! the boys still live with them. I think they're like entrepreneurs or something. Marylou tried explaining it to me but I didn't quite understand." your mom says. "they'll be staying here with us until after Christmas." she adds on. your eyes widen a bit, "oh? you failed to mention this before I got here?" you say with a nervous laughter. "well, I know it isn't ideal for you. I know you and Matt didn't quite leave off on a good note." she says.
-FLASHBACK-
"so what? you meet a whole new group of people that you decide not to spend any more time with me?" you say standing there with your arms crossed. "y/n, we were always together. we're older now. we don't have to be with each other every single time." Matt says frustrated. you scoff before responding, "so you're telling me you want to stop being friends?" he shakes his head, "that's not what I said. all I said was, maybe now we can just do our own things." he says. "well that's not what you've been doing. you've shut me out completely." you say with a hurt expression. "maybe because everything has changed Y/n. you know I don't hang around your crowd." he says catching you off guard. "so just because you gained popularity, apparently my 'crowd' isn't your ideal group of people?" you scoff before continuing on, "yeah maybe everything has changed. you changed." you walk away from him leaving him in silence.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
"they'll be here any minute." your mom says adjusting the centerpiece on the coffee table. you felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. you took constant sips from the warm mug as you sit down on the couch and wait. "you guys are adults now. you will figure it out." your mom says rubbing your arm. you didn't hold a grudge against Matt but, you still felt a sort of somber from the thought of what last happened. you suddenly hear a car pull up in front of your house. "they're here!" your mother says quickly getting up to rush over to the door. you stand up placing your mug on a coaster on the table before dusting off your corduroy pants due to your nervousness. "April!" you hear the familiar voice exclaim your mother's name. "Marylou!" she responds, happily embracing her in a hug. "is she here?" Marylou whispers to her. "yes she is! she's inside." your mother says before looking at the triplets boys. "Nick, Matt, and Chris!" she exclaims. "you boys are so grown up!" the boys smile with them shortly after embracing your mother individually in a hug. "hello Tyler!" Jimmy says greeting your dad, they end up doing a handshake.
after they all greeted each other, they finally headed inside carrying all their bags. you turn around swiftly as you see Marylou gasp from excitement, "my baby girl!" she says running up to you, hugging you. "hi Marylou, how have you been?" you say hugging back with a smile. "amazing now!" she pulls away looking at your mother, "April she looks just like you when you were in college." she adds on. you let out a soft laugh before turning towards the boys. Nick and Chris greet you with a hug before having a little small talk. Matt greeted you with a small 'hello' and awkward smile, which you did as well.
"i'm so excited for Christmas! it'll just be like the old days!" Marylou exclaims. "I brought the album book with photos of every Christmas we've celebrated!" "pull them out!" your mother says putting her hands together happily. now, you were all gathered around the couch as Marylou flips through the album book. "look how chubby your cheeks were Y/n." your dad points out with a chuckle. you felt your cheeks turn red from the comment as everyone laughs. "if only time would slow down." you hear your mother say. "I know. we're getting old!" Jimmy adds on. Marylou continues to flip through the book before landing on a photo of you and Matt smiling as little kids with missing teeth. you were both in matching Christmas sweaters as your head rested on his shoulder. "this is my favorite." Marylou says with a smile. you felt your heart ache from the sight of the photo. "you guys were so small!" your mom exclaims smiling. "yeah. now everything has changed." you blurt out with a fake smile. Matt turns his head towards you, shifting uncomfortably in his stance from the familiar words that came out your mouth.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
you guys just had finished eating dinner. “that was amazing April.” Jimmy says wiping his mouth. “very delicious honey.” your dad says rubbing his stomach. everyone thanks your mother as she smiles, “my pleasure everyone!” she says cheerfully. you decided to help your mother clean up the table. the triplets were lead to the rooms they’ll be staying in for the next days by your father. Marylou and Jimmy were settling into their room.
“Y/n, get out of this kitchen.” your mother says pushing you away playfully. “mom let me help you.” you say trying to stop her. “no Y/n! this is your break. go relax or something.” she says still pushing you away. “you’re really not going to let me help?” you ask letting out a small laugh. “no! now go!” she says smiling. you shake your head with a smile before walking away. you head up the stairs, walking into your childhood bedroom. you look around at the pastel pink wallpaper as you let a small smile appear on your face. you were reminiscing over all the memories that you had in here. you were glad to be home. you then hear a slight knock at your door as you turn around to see Matt. “hi” he says. “hey”. you reply.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
it was the next day, the mothers had plans to do some holiday baking while the dads just sat around and watched TV. Nick and Chris were out catching up with old friends as Matt stayed at the house. “Matt! Y/n! join us!” you hear your mom say happily. you walk to the kitchen as you see materials and ingredients laid out on the island table. Matt was on the opposite side of the island from you. “we’re going to bake gingerbread cookies!” Marylou says handing you and Matt aprons. you tie your hair back in a ponytail as you respond, “yummy”.
as you guys started it off, Marylou and your mother left it up to you and Matt to handle the cookies while they started to prepare this upcoming dinner. you were mixing the batter as you ask Matt to pour some flour on to the table. as he does so, you both took dough into your hands as you both talked. “i hope these turn out right.” you say. “me too.” Matt says with a smile. you guys just caught up talking about college as he talked about his career he started with his brothers. it felt nice to talk to him again. the conversation stops as he looks at your face, “wait hold on. you have a little something right here.” he says putting flour on your nose.
your mouth went slightly open from his actions as you let out a small scoff which turned into a smile. “oh really? because i think you have something on your whole face.” you say placing your floured hands on his face, rubbing it in. you pull away and start laughing, “oh you’re going to regret that.” Matt says with a grin, picking up more flour as he chases you around the kitchen. you shriek as you try to get away from him but he soon grabs you from behind, wrapping his arms around you as he rubs the flour all over your face.
“Matthew!” you exclaim. Marylou taps your mother trying to make her look at the scene that took place. “look April.” she whispers. your mother looks up and smiles. “guys! you’re making a mess!” your mother says laughing. your smile soon drifts away as you realize what was happening. you step away from Matt as you take off your apron heading straight upstairs. Matt just stood there feeling awkward.
later in the day, Matt knocks on your door anxiously. "come in." you shout out from behind the door. he opens the door stepping inside. you look at him before speaking, "what's up?" you ask sitting on your bed. you could tell he was hesitating to speak, "I think we should discuss about where we left off from the last time we've seen each other." he says sitting down next to you. "what's there to talk about? you made it very clear that you didn't want to be surrounded by me anymore." you say. "that's not true Y/n. at the time, I just felt like we were always together. I felt terrible for what I said. our friendship was great and I let it go stupidly." he says letting out a small breath.
all you do is avoid eye contact before he speaks up again, "can I make it up to you?" you look at him as you respond, "how?" “well i want to know you better now. you know, figure out what you’ve been doing ever since we fell off.” he says. you just look at him with a blank stare, “i don’t know about that.” you say.
“okay then let’s see…” he says looking at the time on his phone and smiles, "come on." he says standing up. "what? where are we going?" you ask confused. "just come on. put on a sweater." he says walking out your room. after a bit, you meet him outside as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. "Matt where are we going?" you ask putting your hands in your pockets. the snow fall was light, but the ground was coated white from earlier. he starts to walk as you follow quickly behind. "you'll see!" he exclaims. after a while, you guys were now standing at the park you use to go to as kids. "why are we here?" you ask smiling softly. "well, remember our snow days?" he asks. "of course I do. while Nick and Chris attacked each other with snowballs, you helped me build snowmen." you reply. "yeah. i'm glad you remember." he says crouching down bunching up the snow. "we're going to build a snowman." he adds on with a smile.
"this is how you're going to make it up to me?" you say crouching with him. he looks at you as he speaks, "to make up for the times we missed building a snowman." you look into his eyes for a bit before letting out a small laugh. you guys then continued to build a snowman. “it’s head is as big as yours.” you say laughing. Matt’s mouth opens slightly as he responds, “that’s so mean.” you both laugh and eventually after laid in the snow looking up at the starry sky.
“what are we going to name him?” you ask. Matt hums while he thinks before he thinks of the perfect name, “Louis.” you turn to face him as you hear the familiar name. Louis was the name of your childhood stuffed animal that you had matching with the triplets. “you remember Louis?” you ask. “of course i do. i still have his sibling.” he says which causes you to let out a small chuckle.
"I missed this." you hear him whisper. you stay silent as you thought to yourself. where was this effort back then? as much as you missed it too, you still couldn't forget. you sit up, "we should go before it gets any later." you say before getting up and walking away.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
you were out sitting on the porch drinking hot chocolate as you had thoughts. should Matt be given another chance? he had you where he wanted you before until he made it disappear. why now does he want to fix things? your thoughts were interrupted when you feel a figure sit next to you. you turn to see who it is to find out it's Matt. "can I still prove to you I want to make up for lost time?" he says quietly. you could tell he was genuine. "okay how now?" you ask. he gets up with a smile as he asks you to follow him. he gets in the car as you join him in the passenger seat. "where are we going?" you ask putting on your seat belt. "some place special." he says as he drives off to the location. you look out the window as you see familiar scenery. you fix your posture as you try to hide a smile, "don't tell me we're doing what I think we're doing." he parks the car and smiles, "come on let's go." he says getting out the car.
he opens the trunk to reveal the famous sled you guys built together with your parents in middle school. you gasp while covering your mouth. "you kept it?!" you exclaim. "of course I did." he says pulling it out from the trunk. "we're going to do our tradition." the tradition was a silly thing you both liked to do during snow days. you would try to get to the highest hill and slide down without trying to fall off. you guys always failed. you and Matt climbed up a steep hill as you look at him. he places the sled onto the fluffy snow as he sits down leaving space for you in between his legs. you smile as you sit in front of him.
"are you ready?" Matt asks, "yes I am but, how did we do this back then? I forgot how steep this hill was!" you exclaim. you both let out a laugh as Matt speaks, "well you know the drill." "try not to fall off!" you say as he slides down the both of you. you shriek from the thrill as Matt laughs. when you guys reach the bottom, the sled comes to a sudden stop causing the both of you to tumble over into the snow. you both laid there cracking up. "I knew that would happen." you say clutching onto your stomach from how hard you were laughing.
"I don't think we'll ever not fall." Matt says shaking his head. "maybe next time." he adds on. "yeah maybe." you reply as your guys' laughter calms down. it eventually got silent as you continued to lay there with your arms by your side. you did miss this. "do you ever wonder what could've happened if we stayed close?" you ask still staring at the sky. "I'm not quite sure." he says doing the same. little did you know, he was inching his hand towards yours slowly. you guys laid there as his fingers were nearly touching yours.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
it was finally Christmas morning, you were woken up by your mother shaking you excitedly. "Y/n! it's Christmas! time to get up." she says cheerfully. you rub your eyes as you look at her tiredly. "the triplets are already downstairs! come on!" she adds on before leaving your room. you get up and stretch before heading to the bathroom to do your morning routine. you put your hair up as you went downstairs. "good morning sunshine." Marylou says with a smile. "good morning" you reply smiling as well. "are you ready to open gifts?" you hear Chris say. "because we've been waiting." he adds on and you see Nick shove him.
"don't act like a child." Nick says to him as Chris rubs his arm. you let out a small laugh as you nod. you sit next to Matt and he greets you ‘Good morning’.
by the time all the gifts are open, everyone could be seen talking and laughing as you and Matt sit there taking everything in. "we need to make this a tradition again." your mom says. "absolutely!" Marylou says. "Y/n?" you hear Matt whisper to you. you turn your head to face him, "yeah?" you whisper back. "I got you a gift." he says. "you did?" you ask raising an eyebrow. he smiles and nods. "oh Matt... I don't have anything for you. I didn't know you were going to be here in the first place." you say with an awkward tone. "don't worry. I got this gift last minute. come with me." he says getting up. you look around as you notice nobody is paying attention. you get up as you follow him out the front door. "what plans do you have now?" you ask letting out a small laugh.
"well, I wanted to have this moment for just the two of us." he reaches into the car as he pulls out the same matching Christmas sweaters from when you were kids but in a bigger size. "Matt..." you say grabbing it slowly. "I think we should keep up with the traditions." he says putting on the sweater. you smile big as you do the same. "where did you even find these?" you asked looking down at the design. "I have my ways." he replies looking at you. you look up at him and smile, "thank you Matt." he smiles as he stands there rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I have one more thing." he says. "what? how much stuff do you have?" you say letting out a small chuckle. "you need to close your eyes for this one." you look at him confused before responding, "okay? you're not going to throw a snowball at me right?" he lets out a laugh as he shakes his head, "just close your eyes!" he exclaims. "fine sorry." you say shutting your eyes.
you heard his feet shuffle in the snow before you hear the movement stop. "alright you can open your eyes." you hear him say. you open your eyes slowly as you see Matt holding up a little plant. "Matt, is that what I think it is?" you say as your eyes turn soft and you gulp. it was a mistletoe. he lets out a shy laugh as he speaks, "you don't have to if you want but, I wanted to see if we could start a new tradition since we're older." you look at the plant as you smile wide, "of course I do." you say looking into his eyes before pulling him slowly into a soft kiss. Matt drops the mistletoe on the snow as he attaches his hands onto your waist.
you slowly pull away as you both hear a click. you and Matt turn towards the front of the house to see Marylou and your mother holding out a camera smiling. “everything has definitely changed.” your mom says. you and Matt look at each other and laugh.
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a/n: this is a little longer than my usual stuff! i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did writing it! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! comment what you think about this and if i should do more taylor swift songs for my swifties.
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fellamarsh · 3 months ago
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another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.
see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).
instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!
so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.
now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.
but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?
and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.
now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!
but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??
Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)
(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)
But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).
And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long
#my god the library. darling. beloved. breath of my life and heart of my soul.#i should make a post about her#also. and maybe i'll make a separate post about this at some point too#but i truly think the free serialized webnovel rough draft ala What Manner of Man is The Future#i should probably make a whole separate post about all these novels too tbh.#boutta become Posting Guy. The Guy Who Posts#and writes novels in the tags. but i've always been like that#i never talked about the dream i had where i was emry karic from the lutesong series did i? i totally meant to. fucked up!#so i had a dream where i was emry karic.#I (emry karic) was fleeing a bunch of elves in a forest with my mom and sister (who were fully my irl mom and sister)#they thought i had done a murder and were chasing me (emry karic) with spears and stuff. they almost caught me#but i managed to escape. later i came upon a weird old-timey fantasy carnival.#and for some reason one of the fun attractions at this carnival was A Day in Court#where you watch someone defend themselves in court.#you'll never guess who had to defend himself in court and what the charges were!#notably there were no other characters from the lutesong series involved.#and i also have yet to read any of the books in the lutesong series. emry and his flower crown simply invaded my brain out of nowhere#i thought about turning this post into separate posts or rewriting it or smthn because it's so long and all over the place but#that sort of defeats the whole trying to just post and not be so up my own ass about it that i never actually post thing#so here you go#if you are also someone who struggles or once struggled with reading other people's stuff because of self esteem issues. hi!#we're now spidermen pointing at each other
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viviennevermillion · 2 years ago
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Spending Valentine's Day with him
notes: i just noticed i haven't written anything for cater yet except for my dystopian au. also if you guys like my writing, comments in the tags or anon asks are appreciated! feedback motivates me to write more!
contains: character x gn!reader, established relationship in some but not all
characters included: cater diamond, leona kingscholar, jade leech, malleus draconia
warnings: mention of gruesome death in jade's part (this is about a mushroom he grew and talks about), accidental marriage proposal
dark content creators and consumers dni
Cater, of course, is more than familiar with Valentine's Day. He's always up to date with the latest trends and on this day, Valentine's Day is trending on Magicam. Every year, Cater participates in this holiday even though he didn't have a crush on anyone for the past few years. He at least always posts some themed photos and sends chocolates to his friends. Sometimes he also does little events on his Magicam page where he prompts people to ask him Valentine's Day related questions or post their own stories they've had with this day and he'll comment on it.
But this year was different.
Having fallen for you quite a few months ago, Valentine's Day was the perfect opportunity to finally ask you out on a date. Cater knew so too but Trey was the one who had to convince him. "You're always so flirty with them, why don't you ask them out already?", Trey smiled and shook his head in confusion. "Well, that's different...", Cater replied awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head. "How exactly is that different?", Trey chuckled and proceeded making a Valentine's Day cake for the Heartslabyul dorm.
Indeed, Cater had flirted with you quite a few times but given his usual demeanor, there was no reason for you to suspect this wasn't just what he was like in general.
Cater eventually asks you out with a box of chocolate from Sam's store. He's happy when you say yes and the two of you agree to go to the cinema together.
Cater buys the two of you colorful drinks and a box of nachos. He takes a picture of the food and asks you if you'd like to take a photo with him as well, which he'd post on Magicam with the caption "Spending today with my valentine ❤️ #cinemadate #valentinesday #nightravencollege ❤️" if you let him. He'd tag you in the picture as well. Cater loves to take pictures but there's a couple of them that's just you two laughing together and having fun and he decides that even though they'd probably get a lot of likes, they're special to him and he just keeps them on his phone to remember this day with you fondly.
He originally intends to take you to a romance movie and bought tickets for it....but life had other plans for you.
"This uh....this doesn't look like the movie we asked to watch", Cater sunk back into the seat and had to be careful not to drop his 3D glasses when the horrifying forest creature from the screen seemed to charge directly at him. You fished the movie tickets out of your pockets. "Uh yeah I think the employee mixed something up...we have tickets for something called 'The Unspeakable Horrors'", you explained before looking back at the screen. "Oh god I don't like or subscribe to this", Cater lets out a slightly distressed sigh. He wondered whether it was too late to watch the other movie and get the actual tickets he wanted but you taking his hand in yours when he seemed scared changed his mind. Maybe watching the unspeakable horrors was indeed a way to get closer to you.
"I'm going to have vivid nightmares of this for days to come", Cater chuckled awkwardly as the two of you left the cinema, still holding hands. "Maybe I can help with that", you chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
Cater asks you to be his significant other after your date. He explains how he had a crush on you for a while now and how all the attempts he had made at flirting with you were actually genuine. "Oh yeah I knew", you smirked and pulled him into a hug, "and yes... I'd love to be your valentine every day from now on."
"How about we finish this date with a kiss?", he suggests, nervousness now having left his voice. You nod and he cups your cheek and presses several soft kisses to your lips; the horrors from the movie already forgotten.
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If Leona didn't have have a deep-rooted distaste for a lot of celebrations his older brother hosted in his homeland, Valentine's Day would be right up there on the list of Leona's least favorite holidays. He really doesn't like anything cheesy and seeing people being all lovey-dovey gets on his nerves. For Leona, it's pointless to dedicate an entire holiday to appreciating your lover when you could just be doing that whenever.
You enter Leona's room on Valentine's Day, finding your boyfriend sleeping in bed. You smile and sit down beside him, gently rubbing his ears and watching him instinctively snuggle close to your lap and his tail swishing back and forth. "Pspspspsps Leona", you whisper and poke his cheek.
His eyes open slowly and he looks at your face with a confused expression before stretching his limbs like a cat and sitting up. "Why'd you wake me up, herbivore?", he asks calmly and rests against your shoulder. To anyone else he would have said this with an annoyed tone and a frustrated facial expression but with you his tone was gentle and like he was actually interested in the answer.
"I got you something", you say and pull out a small yellow box from your bag, tied neatly with a black ribbon. "Did you get me one of those Valentine's chocolates Sam sells around this time of year?", he asks as he takes the box from you. "Well, not really. I know you don't really like Valentine's Day so I got you this instead", you explain and Leona lifted the cover of the box, instantly snorting and letting out a laugh. Instead of chocolate hearts there were pumpkin-shaped chicken nuggets in the box and the inside of the cover was decorated with a sparkling, cursive "Happy Halloween!" surrounded by stickers of ghosts and bats. The little greeting card that came with it had a distorted "Congratulation!" written on it that started in the middle of the card and the letters became more and more squeezed the closer the writing got to the edge, to make sure that the whole word still fit on it.
Leona was wheezing and patted your head. "Okay that's funny, you got me", he chuckled and plopped one of the nuggets into his mouth, pleased that you had given him meat instead and attempted to make him laugh rather than trying to feed into convention and giving him a red box of Valentine's chocolates.
He ate all of the nuggets in the box and then put it aside, pulling you into his arms and laying down in bed with you. He mumbled a "thank you" and buried his face in your shoulder. You started gently caressing his ears and kissed his forehead.
Leona would just hold you in his arms for a while and maybe spend the day in bed cuddling with you or playing chess with you.
If Valentine's Day is important to you, Leona would adapt and actually try to celebrate it with you. But in general, as your relationship grows, Leona learns of all the things you like and dislike and he takes you out on dates once in a while when he feels like you'd appreciate it. Whether that's Valentine's Day or just any other day. After all, who would he be if he didn't put in any effort after you were the one to put him first?
He definitely keeps your affectionate gestures in mind and who knows? He might take you out a couple days later to have a nice walk on the beach and have a picnic there as the sun sets.
Jade is relatively new to Valentine's Day as it's not a holiday that exists under the sea. They have a similar holiday that's dedicated to celebrating the union of the mermaid princess and her human lover but it's not quite the same as Valentine's Day on land.
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"What a curious custom", Jade thought at first when he heard about it during his first year. Ever since the twins and Azul knew about it, they've been using the opportunity to sell overpriced Valentine's gifts and specials at Mostro Lounge.
Ever since he started dating you, Jade has wondered whether he'd be celebrating Valentine's Day with you this year. He gets you some rare flowers he grew himself (actually making sure none of them are poisonous) and if he feels like you'd like it, he'll make you a terrarium like the ones he has. He puts a bunch of plants and small sea animals in there that he collected himself while scavenging the ocean around Sage's Isle. He makes sure to include everything he thinks you might like. He promised you to take you to the Coral Sea and show you his home one day but for now the opportunity hasn't arisen yet so he wants to show that you're part of his world by giving you a part of his.
He puts psathyrella aquatica in your terrarium which is the first and only known underwater mushroom.
Jade shows you how to take care of the terrarium and sometimes the both of you take care of it together.
For Valentine's Day, Jade takes a free day from work and reserves a table at Mostro Lounge for you and himself. He gets the special Valentine's Day mocktails and dishes for half the price so you're in luck. "It took you this long to prepare it?", Jade teases his twin brother as Floyd brings you your meals. Floyd glares at his brother angrily and then turns to you. "Jade used to be scared shitless of the sun when he was a kid. He thought it was gonna fall out of the sky and kill him", Floyd snickered, now being the one to earn a glare from his brother. You laugh at the mental image of a small Jade being scared to swim to the surface of the ocean because the sun was there. "We'll sort this out later, Floyd", Jade replies with a bright smile on his face. The shady, threatening kind.
"For the record, Floyd was the one who told me that the sun was going to fall out of the sky and kill me", Jade explained and sighed, "he kept that prank up for 2 whole years." You chuckle. "Somehow that makes it even funnier", you took his hand on the table and held it in your own, "did you think you were safe underwater?" Jade nodded. "I thought it was just going to go out when it falls into the water", he chuckled, "looking back on it, it was quite curious what we'd come up with to explain what was above the surface and on land before we started going to school and learnt the real facts."
He makes sure to inquire whether you enjoyed your meal or not and gives Azul his feedback. He wraps an arm around your shoulder as he walks out of the restaurant with you.
He later takes you to the greenhouse after all classes have ended for the day and no one was in there anymore. "I have to show you something", he explains and leads you to the window where several plants were standing, "this is an entirely new mushroom species I've created. It's very fascinating. I named it after you." You look at the mushrooms that were moving slightly in a way that looked almost threatening. "Let me guess, they're poisonous?", you ask and lean against Jade. "Probably the most poisonous ones we have on this entire island. Actually they'd make your organs explode within a couple of hours of eating them." He said that with such a joyful smile on his face that it was almost unsettling. But don't worry, Jade naming the creepy mushrooms after you is a sign of his love for you.
You're like "is this even allowed?" and Jade is like "that depends on how you interpret the rules :) "
Valentine's Day with Jade ends with some comforting cuddles in his room and few sharing chocolates after stopping by at Sam's shop and buying some.
Malleus is completely unaware of Valentine's Day. Straight up didn't know what it is.
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You've liked him for a while but you were quite unsure whether the two of you could even work out because he's the crown prince of a whole country and meant to be king one day and you're a commoner. Nevertheless, you hoped he would become aware of your feelings for him and give you the answers you needed. You considered just telling him and talking to him about this but you didn't know how appropriate it was to just confess your love to Briar Valley's heir apparent and you were also worried it might make your friendship awkward.
So you decide to take your chances on Valentine's Day. If he rejected the idea of being involved with you romantically, you could always say you gave him flowers and chocolate because he's a great friend.
You get him a personalized bouquet with flowers you associate with him and a box of Valentine's chocolates. He doesn't get why you're giving him gifts and he's just like "thank you, my dear friend :) "
He's really happy about it but he only learns about the intention behind the gifts when Lilia educates him later. "Valentine's Day is a celebration in human society that is dedicated to appreciating the one you love", he explains. "Oh...like a best friend?", Malleus smiles. Lilia sighs. "Uh...sometimes...but I think y/n wanted to express that they're in love with you", he puts Malleus out of his misery. Cue the surprised Malleus face™.
Malleus is so unfamiliar with romantic relationships that he doesn't notice he has a crush on someone until someone else makes him aware of it, in this case Lilia.
So Malleus, with his newfound clarity about his feelings for you, decides to make the best out of the rest of Valentine's Day and get you some gifts in return to attempt to court you. Lilia recommends that he stops by the Mystery Shop, since Sam is selling a lot of typical Valentine's gifts today. So Malleus heeds the older fae's advice and buys 3 bouquets of red roses, which Lilia told him are the ones most associated with romantic love, along with a box of chocolates for you too.
There's also a stand in Sam's shop with a bunch of silver rings in ring boxes. The picture above it shows a man going down on one knee and presenting the ring to his significant other. The caption on it says "Give your loved one the ultimate proof of your love". And Malleus finds one with a subtle dragon-themed design and he's like :)
So he goes to you after classes and presents you with the bouquets and the chocolate first. "Y/n....perhaps it took me some time to realize, but I love you. Would you allow me to court you?", Malleus asks. The three bouquets are a bit much but he's got the spirit. You accept and put the bouquets aside for a moment, pulling him into a hug.
Then he pulls out the ring and gets down on one knee in front of you, presenting it to you. You're shocked for a moment, not knowing how to even process what is happening. Three students walk by and stare at the two of you in bewilderment as you frantically try to gesture to them "this is not what it looks like".
You guide Malleus to stand up again and take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. "I love you, Malleus. But we've only started dating a couple of minutes ago...I can't possibly agree to marry you yet...", you explain softly. Malleus is like "wait what?"
He explains to you how the rings were advertised in the shop and you laugh, putting one on your finger and the other one on his. "Well, an accidental proposal was not on my list of things I expected to happen today, but I will never forget about this", you snicker and Malleus laughs along with you, glad you're taking his awkward mistake with humor, "let's take these rings as a promise of our love for now. We'll worry about the future when we get there."
You gently cup his cheek. "May I kiss you?", you ask and Malleus nods, leaning close until his lips meet yours in a soft and loving kiss. He holds you gently in his arms and looks into your eyes with a happy smile. "I love you, my dearest. Next year you should show me all about celebrating Valentine's Day."
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satubby · 1 year ago
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Hello! How are you? if you still place orders I hope you can attend to mine. I confess that your male Makima writings drive me crazy, so if you don't mind, here I have another request for you and I hope it's not wierd. Could you make a scenario that the reader moved away from everyone for a while and stayed out of everyone's sight, and after a few months she returns and they find out that he had a daughter? (Makime is the father) and he finds out that the girl is his daughter? I hope my request doesn't bother you and I really wish you could attend to it. I hope you have a good day and stay healthy!
[Hello sweetie! Thanks for entrusting me with these requests, sorry to keep you waiting but I took my months off and started working, that's why I didn't answer my inbox. Here you go, it's like a little One shot/scenario].
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You find yourself in the bathroom, bent over the toilet as waves of nausea seem to drag your consciousness down. The bitter taste in your mouth and the rapid beating of your heart take you back to the murky memory of your encounter with Makime at the bar. Although days have passed since then, the images are still tattooed in your mind, like fresh scars that refuse to fade.
"Why, no, this can't be happening to me? Fuck," you mutter between sobs, feeling a lump in your throat as tears begin to mix with the sensation of vomiting. A sarcastic joke about the irony of life crosses your mind, a kind of bitter self-reflection that only you can understand.
The muffled voices of your friends reach you from the other side of the door, but you barely manage to pay attention to them. Aki, Denji and Powa try to be supportive, but the sense of isolation is stronger than ever. Makime's cold presence, clinging to your thoughts like a shadow, plunges you into a spiral of self-loathing and despair. So much effort you put into getting away from him, but it only seems to motivate him to stalk.
"Hey, is everything okay? You've been in the bathroom for half an hour and Powa keeps nagging me about coming in….. (Y/N), you know I'm worried about you," Aki asks with genuine concern in his voice. You can feel her palpable anxiety, as if she shares your torments in the distance. His words offer you a glimmer of clarity amidst the darkness, but they also make you feel even more vulnerable and pathetic. You don't think you're brave enough to face them, not after your betrayal, or at least you feel that way.
"No, I'm… fine, ugh," you say in a halting voice, fighting the lump in your throat as your tears mix with the cold sweat on your face. You clutch the toilet tightly, reality becoming a blur as another access of vomit shakes you. In the midst of this painful moment, memories of Makime reclaiming what shouldn't have been hers, assault you cruelly, causing your tears to fall silently as you once again feel stripped of your self-control and power over your actions, you feel dirty and disgusted… Sleeping with the demon, giving in to his dirty, sin-filled words. That you cannot forgive yourself.
Carefully and shaky-legged, you pull yourself away from the toilet, the cold of the bathroom clinging to your damp skin from the sweat of overexertion. You stand up, but your body feels weak, as if nausea has stolen all your energy. You look in the mirror, your reflection seems strange, almost unrecognizable, or was it the tears from so much crying? Your face is pale, with the traces of tears and effort marked on it. You stare at yourself, lost in thought as doubts and fears gather like stormy clouds.
What will your friends say when they realize what is happening? You know deep down, how disappointed they would be or maybe you always jump to conclusions without asking first. You haven't had your period for weeks, so you know the only reason for it could be… pregnancy. But you didn't want this child, as guilty as you feel, you also didn't want to be a murderer of your own unwanted child. Maybe… Should you hide this unexpected pregnancy or make a more radical decision? The thought of hiding it or even aborting it haunts you, but you know you can't help but think about it.
Your mind wanders down the dark alleys of your fears-how will Makime react if he finds out? The very thought of his cold stare and cutting words makes you shudder or worse, to see his look filled with mocking satisfaction at your defeat carrying his child inside. And then there is the damage you could cause yourself if you decide to abort, both physically and emotionally, you don't think you are capable of enduring those horrors, but you know well that in this universe full of maniacs, blood is the daily bread… That's why you hated Makime, that bastard who would destroy the dreams of others and especially Denji.
But apparently now it's more fun to annoy you, to threaten to kill them… You don't even understand what's so attractive about you that the greatest enemy in this world would notice you.
But your thoughts are interrupted when, in a nervous gesture, you bite into your own flesh. The momentary pain jolts you out of your mental spiral, and that's when you really look at your reflection. Your face is blotchy, a mixture of tears and sweat, and your expression is a chaos of despair and confusion.
The truth hits you hard: you feel caught in a whirlwind of emotions, with no clear path to follow. You realize that every decision you make will carry with it dark and heartbreaking consequences. And as you keep looking at your own reflection, you feel the crushing sensation that you are trapped in a game you didn't ask to be a part of, even though you are aware of your actions that also led you to this… You thought you could handle it by taking this job, but you are not sure at this point.
You sigh with exhaustion, a mixture of physical and mental exhaustion. You ruffle your messy hair with your hands, as if trying to push the shadows out of your mind, even though you know that's impossible. The decision to take a bath seems like a respite in the midst of the emotional storm that engulfs you. Stripping off your clothes is a mechanical act, as if you want to free yourself from the worries that oppress you, free yourself from this feeling of lustful filth even though it has been weeks since… Your first time in this body, stolen and swallowed by the devil of control.
The warm water from the shower falls on you, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. You close your eyes and let your thoughts be swept away by the stream. Slowly, you feel the mist of steam and the sound of water fill your senses, muffling the tumultuous voices in your mind.
Unnoticed, time passes in the blink of an eye, and you find peace in the simple action of feeling the water run over your skin, as if those drops of water are washing you clean of your sins. But when you finally turn off the water and step out of the shower, the thoughts return with renewed force, like angry waves lapping against the shore.
Maybe it's the monotony in your gaze or the fact that you're in such a mess between thoughts that you finally realize you're in your room, sitting up in bed. You stare into the void, your eyes swollen and your fingers hurt by the anxiety you have failed to control by biting your nails hard. Moments of relief dissolve into the raw and painful reality you face. Your mind turns again to Makime, her twisted personality or her unpredictable actions that make you so uncomfortable, you don't want to accept it, but a part of you enjoys it.
You try to map out a plan in your head, but every possibility seems to carry with it an abyss of consequences. would Makime ignore your situation? Fuck that's such a stupid thought, knowing him you know he wouldn't, always looking at you like he's the hunter and maybe he is. Could he force you to go through with this pregnancy you don't want? Your throat tightens with fear and uncertainty, a feeling you can't choke down.
You bite the end of the towel wrapped around your head, as if it might somehow take away the stress of the dark thoughts that crowd in. You keep looking for a way out, a spark of hope in the midst of this overwhelming anxiety that invades you, you have always been like this, insecure though trying.
The sound of the door being slammed abruptly breaks the silence of the room, snapping you out of your jumbled thoughts. Powa, with his thunderous energy and imperative attitude, bursts into the room like a flurry of chaos. He informs you, in his characteristic shouting tone, that Aki has already served dinner and everyone is waiting for you at the table. Though with your fog of thoughts carried away from the questions, you barely give a nod with your eyes lost in nothingness.
His words ring in your ears as you look up, meeting Powa's rambunctious figure. The blood possessed one seems more playful and noisy than ever, ready to drag you away from the pensive trance you were in. It moves into your field of vision crouching down to you, doing its best to get your attention and pull you out of that darkness.
"Looks like someone got lost in your world again," Powa comments, a hint of mockery in his voice as he smiles, showing those shark teeth that seem to be his trademark. His words sound like an invitation to leave your worries behind and join the present.
His defiant smile and mischievous child's attitude wrench a response from you. You come out of your trance, your face lights up with a nervous smile, aware that Powa might notice your worries, which you don't want him to, so you smile at him trying to draw his attention away from you. You hope that this momentary distraction will keep the rambunctious demon away and offer you a respite from the emotional storm in which you find yourself mired.
You leave the guest room that Aki had lent you, you didn't want to think about Rintarou either, what would you say to him? You don't think you're capable of anything. Your eyes fall on the trio of men occupying the kitchen. Aki is concentrating on cooking with his usual grace, while Denji and Powa argue animatedly over the vegetables that none of them seem willing to eat.
As you watch the scene, a momentary relief washes over you. The comfort of being with them, even in the midst of your anxieties, makes you feel that perhaps you can find temporary refuge… But you know the fate that awaits the three of them, it only makes you feel worse about your apparent betrayal. However, the fear of breaking that tranquility persists, holding you back in your intentions to share your worries.
Denji stops fighting with Powa and fixed his eyes at you, greeting you with an enthusiastic "Good morning, (Y/N)!" Your smile forms automatically, as if his greeting manages to momentarily dispel your gloomy thoughts.
You gather at the table, sharing your meal and chatting naturally. Aki, always attentive, asks you if everything is all right. You nod silently, not wanting to delve into your own internal struggles, not whether you wanted to bring back those horrible memories of Makime violating your privacy or this pregnancy of yours. Denji, with his characteristic intuition, comments that you seem quieter than usual, which he finds strange since you are usually the more playful one in these situations.
You stop eating for a moment, laughing nervously at his observation. "Really? S-sorry, I didn't notice," you reply trying to deflect, knowing that you don't want your world of worries to overshadow the moment you share with them.
Again, like a blur, everyone is already dressed in their uniforms, including you. You leave the apartment ready to face the day. You walk with the trio to work, your finger finds its way into your mouth, biting it anxiously once again. You wonder if the bulge in your belly will be noticeable after several months, if the stares of those around you will discover your secret. Makime is a constant weight in your thoughts, wondering what he will say once he sets eyes on you.
Every time you meet, you always feel vulnerable and nervous no matter how much you want to cover up that feeling.
As you move forward with your friends, you feel a mixture of nervousness, disgust and fear. But again, you swallow all your feelings.
The quartet advances towards the public security offices, each step you take carrying with it a load of nervousness that is reflected in your finger, which keeps getting bitten until it bleeds. The thought of facing Makime in the office torments you, and your mind races to what might happen if the devil control detects your nerves which you don't try very hard to conceal either.
The offices lie before you, and you feel as if each step brings you a little closer to the abyss of your worries. You know that when they work, they need to request the file of the next mission from Makime, and the mere idea of crossing words with him fills you with those thoughts. What will he say if he finds out about your pregnancy? You always come back to that question and fear his dirty words as possessive attached to the weight of his penetrating gaze.
Finally, you find yourself alongside the trio as they enter the offices. Aki leads the way, and you stay behind him, almost as if afraid to cross the threshold of the door. You can feel Makime's eyes on you, like needles piercing your skin. But for now, the red-haired man says nothing, he just listens and dictates the orders for the day.
Your mind clouds with a mixture of fear and resignation, as you try to keep your composure by not letting your worries overpower you. As Aki and the others dive into the discussion, your thoughts turn to Makime, how to deal with this dangerous game of appearances and secrets.
As Aki withdraws, you feel the urge to follow him, as if his presence might offer you a refuge in the midst of this awkward situation. But your plans vanish when Makime intervenes, requesting that everyone leave the office except you. His request causes your nerves to intensify, and you feel a strange sense of vulnerability pressing down on you.
Aki casts you a look of concern and comfort before closing the door behind him. The dull click of the lock adds extra weight to the already tense atmosphere in the room. You find yourself alone with Makime, and discomfort seems to fill every corner.
Makime slowly approaches you, his sly gaze and soft words forming a trap that you feel yourself sinking into. The redhead's closeness only intensifies the tightness in your chest, as if you're trapped in his magnetic orbit until you feel it… your back against his chest. You don't want to look into his predatory eyes.
"It saddens me that you are ignoring me, and I thought you had already accepted me. You know I would never hurt you or do anything you don't want, for example… Your moans that night, so soft and innocent."
His words, though laden with false comfort, only leave you more anxious. Your mind whirls as you try to decipher words with which to attack. You feel the tension in the air, a mixture of fear and obedience that keeps you on edge.
Makime's amused smile triggers a shiver down your spine. You know he can smell your fear, and that only adds to your unease. Suddenly, he takes your nibbled hand in a gesture that seems too intimate, too invasive. He scolds you for your behavior, treating it as a childish prank, as if this whole game is simply that: a game for his own twisted amusement.
"Tch! But what a mess you made… You know I'm not stupid, but we won't ask questions, okay? Let me help you with that."
The feel of his fingers around yours makes you feel trapped, and you realize that you are in a dangerous position when he runs his tongue over your badly moderated wounded fingers.
As his presence dominates the room, your thoughts become increasingly suffocating, as if you are caught in a net from which you do not know how to escape.
Makime advances with sly complacency, his falsely friendly smile is like a hook in the murky water of the situation, as he continues to play with his mouth… Oh! That beautiful, stupid, voracious mouth.
"You don't need to get so uptight, (Y/N)," he murmurs with a softness that contrasts with the storm you feel in his gaze clouded with dark thoughts. "You know I'm always here to listen if you have any problems."
Your eyes roll quickly avoiding looking at him again, desperately trying to divert the conversation away from the dangerous waters. "Oh, it's nothing, Makime. I'm just… a little tired lately," you reply in a shaky voice, aware that every word out of your mouth can be a double-edged sword in this game of yours.
Makime moves even closer, his proximity suffocating. "Tired, huh?" he muses, his tone laden with irony. "It can be overwhelming work being a demon hunter, I won't deny you that. However, you should take it easy, sometimes those emotions can lead you down…deadly…routes."
Your mind races through the possibilities behind the meaning in his words, but before you can articulate a response, he takes the initiative once again. "Haven't you noticed how your fingers are hurt?" he asks with a tone that oscillates between concern and mockery, it is obvious that the question is unnecessary in this situation.
His eyes are riveted on the hand he's still holding, as if he's analyzing every little detail of you, how his saliva is still on your wounds. Fuck how he wants to lick your sweet skin again, that addictive blood.
You stumble over your own words, diverting his attention back to you. "Oh, it's no big deal, I'm just a little nervous from the stress of work. I nibble my fingers without realizing it, sorry," you say, trying to sketch a smile that hides your true feelings. "I wouldn't want to bother you with nonsense like this."
Makime laughs softly, a laugh that makes you feel as if you're caught in a net of his design. "Nonsense, you say. But you know, (Y/N), sometimes things we consider small reveal a lot about us." His eyes sparkle with a mischievous spark as he continues, "We must learn to control ourselves, don't you think?"
You feel caught up in his devious game, a conversation that seems harmless on the surface but carries with it a subtle venom. His every word seems like a carefully crafted trap, and as you struggle to maintain your composure, you realize that you are dancing on the edge of manipulation and deception.
Makime continues his game, like a cat toying with its prey before finally attacking. His piercing eyes search yours, as if he is trying to read every thought that passes through your mind. "Sometimes, it's important to talk about our worries," he comments, his voice soft as the scrape of a sharp knife. "If you have something on your mind, (Y/N), don't hesitate to tell me. I don't want you to feel alone in this."
You feel the weight of his words like an anvil on your chest. You want to speak, desperately want to free yourself from the anguish that surrounds you, but the thought of confiding in Makime, of revealing your intimate thoughts to him, fills you with an almost paralyzing fear. His true intentions are hidden behind that mask of kindness, and you can't help but wonder if this is simply another game on his part. You don't want to be controlled by him, though at this point your lustful side wonders if you could withstand the temptation.
"Thank you, Makime," you reply, trying to remain calm, though your words tremble slightly. "I'll keep that in mind. For now, I'm just… trying to manage my own insecurities."
Makime's sly smile widens slightly, as if he's enjoying your discomfort. "Insecurities, huh? We all have our internal struggles, (Y/N), but you shouldn't be carrying all that weight alone." He takes a step closer, his presence feeling more intimidating than ever, his hand squeezing yours. "Remember, we're on the same team."
Your mind twists with conflicting thoughts, the desire to trust fighting against the fear of falling into his trap. His every word seems like a rope squeezing your throat, a rope that threatens to choke any truth you may be about to reveal. You realize you are in a dangerous game, one where every move can be fatal.
"Ahh! Anyway, I don't want to delay your work. I hope you have a desirable performance this week, don't get distracted yes?" Makime's eyes keep searching for some chink in your armor, looking you in the eye as you struggle to stand your ground, you realize that every word you choose could be the final nail in your own coffin.
"Y-yeah, well I'm out" You could hardly think straight and more so when he ended up kissing the back of your hand.
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daddyfroglegs · 8 months ago
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Prove It
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.
summary: after being a part of the spider society for months without being sent on a mission and endless amounts of pleading, miguel finally gives you the chance to show yourself.
a/n: i've been working on this for sososo long and am so super excited to finally post it!! a HUGE thank you to @opaloharas for all her help as i was writing this and giving me so much motivation to complete it <3
quick tw for heavy angst and imagery, if i missed any that you feel need to be added pls lmk!
---
"Come on!" You huff out a frustrated sigh as you struggle to keep up with Miguel as he walks down one of the many hallways in the Spider Society HQ at a speed considered too fast for everyone else, but totally reasonable for someone his size.
"I'm not sure how many more ways I can say it before I resort to violence. For the last time, the answer is no." Miguel shoots you a look over his shoulder filled with annoyance and anger, but you don't back down. You manage to pick up the pace to a jog and stop in front of him, making him pause his tirade to look down at you as he crosses his arms.
"Just give me one chance to prove myself, please." You look up at him, your gaze loaded with determination. He scoffs and pushes past you, but you grab his wrist which makes him turn around, his gaze locked on your hand.
"You haven't given me a single mission and I've been here for over a month! Why did you even recruit me if I'm just going to wait around doing nothing?" Your hope starts to dwindle when he moves his wrist from your grasp and you break eye contact, beginning to turn and walk away before he finally speaks.
"Fine. You wanna show yourself? Earth 347-B has an anomaly that needs to be dealt with. Lyla will send you the details on it, you leave tomorrow morning." Your defeated stance shifts to its usual cheerful nature as you turn back to face him with a smile.
"Really? You mean it?" You beam as he nods. "I won't let you down! Thank you, Miguel!" You turn and shoot a web to the ceiling, swinging away with an eager and radiant energy that almost makes him feel bad for what he really signed you up for.
The anomaly that has been terrorizing Earth 347-B is known amongst the higher ranked spiders as one of their strongest, most difficult anomalies yet. Unlike anything they have ever seen before, this creature is able to use their enemy's insecurities and feelings against them by taking on the form of another person, someone close to them to really drive the pain home. Even Miguel had to take a mental health day after the creature took the form of his late daughter to taunt and remind him of the worst day of his life. You didn't stand a chance against this monstrosity.
---
You hardly slept that night, rereading the details Lyla sent you over and over until you could practically recite it from memory, relishing in the feeling of finally being useful and having a purpose. When morning finally comes, you're out the door bright and early, swinging down the hallways of HQ before you reach Miguel's office.
Once you've made it, you're practically jumping up and down with excitement as Miguel debriefs what you'll be doing on your mission. Your mission. Too caught up in your elation, you almost miss his next words.
"You're sure you're up for this? I'm letting you know now, it's not going to be easy." His arms are crossed and he's got that stuck up smirk he wears when he's trying to be condescending. He's looking down on you.
Your brows furrow in slight irritation and you cross your arms in a pitiful attempt to mirror his intimidating stance. "I've got this, Miguel. I'm not weak." Your cheery tone deteriorates into something more serious, something Miguel isn't sure he's heard from you before.
He holds his hand out as if to silence you, his eyebrows raised slightly. "I never said you were weak, I asked if you could handle it. You don't have to do this, I can get someone else to-"
You cut him off, extremely pissed off at this point. "I can handle it, Miguel! I don't know why you have this idea in your head that I'm not good enough to be a part of this, but I'll prove it to you!" You end your rant by opening a portal and stepping through it, leaving Miguel stunned. Lyla appears on his shoulder, filing her nails and pushing her heart-shaped glasses up her nose. "She's gonna get herself killed, ya'know."
Miguel sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose while turning back to his desk. "Yeah, I know. And I'll be ready."
---
thank you for reading! part 2 should be out very soon!
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mayajadewrites · 11 months ago
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For Me (Levi Ackerman x Reader)
CHAPTER SEVEN: COLLEAGUES
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Over the next 2 weeks you spend a lot of time with Levi. You learn his routine, what he likes to order at restaurants, all that good stuff. However, neither of you have spent the night at each others house. For you, you knew that it would be hard to control yourself if you were in bed with Levi. 
Levi enjoys the finer things in life, but not in a stuck-up way. He loves a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, but also doesn't mind staying in and having a movie night. He works a lot, which makes it so you only see him really at night and on the weekends. It gives you something to look forward to, but it doesn't feel like enough time. 
It's Wednesday - half way through the week. Since you and Levi have decided what you're relationship is (more like Levi decided) you haven't gone to the coffee shop much. He's been bringing you coffee before he heads to work, which is a sweet treat for you. 
This day is no different.
You hear a knock at your door and open it to see your stoic boyfriend holding your iced coffee and a bouquet of flowers. "You needed fresh ones." He walked into your apartment and took out the old flowers (from last week), cleaned the vase and set up the new bouquet. 
You sip your coffee as you watch Levi work the flowers. He meticulously places them and makes sure every flower is tended to. Your eyes wander down his body - he's wearing a navy suit that is perfectly tailored to him with chestnut shoes. "You look very handsome today."
"I have a big meeting today with some potential clients." Levi double checked the flowers. "These are good to go. I'm gonna head out now." 
"Have a great day." You smile as Levi takes a step towards you, his eyes swallowing your figure. You're wearing a tank top with no bra, and your comfy short shorts. Your ass basically falls out of them.
"Don't go outside like that." Levi presses his lips to yours, bringing his hand to your face. "This is for me only." 
"Okay dad." You roll your eyes, walking him to the door.
"Daddy is the only acceptable form of 'dad' that I'll answer to." His tone was flat, so you couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.
He had to be, right?
"I'll call you when I'm on my lunch." Levi kissed your cheek swiftly before turning around and heading towards the stairs. You lean against your doorframe, still feeling Levi's kiss on your lips. This is really your life. Levi Ackerman is your boyfriend.
You're about halfway through your new novel at this point. You got in touch with your editor to let her know that you'll be sending a draft her way soon. This excites you - it's been months since you had any motivation to write. 
As you finish typing a sentence, you feel your phone vibrate in your lap. 
"Hello?" You tap the 'speaker' button.
"Why do you always answer the phone like you don't have caller id?" Levi said.
"Because that's just what people do. Sorry we're not all special specimens like you."
"Anyway. Our clients loved us, and the office wants to go out to happy hour to celebrate after work."
"Okay! Have fun. Are you coming over after?"
"You're coming with me. And then we're going home together."
"I missed the part where you asked me if I wanted to go."
"I didn't ask. Be ready by 6." Levi hung up the phone. Sometimes he can be so sweet, but other times it's like he forgets that he has other people to communicate with and we all don't think the way he does.
You sigh, shutting your laptop and pushing it towards the back of your desk. You turn your head to your closet, knowing you'll be tearing it up to find an outfit. You look at the time on your phone: 1:30PM. It's time to start getting ready.
You take an everything shower, making sure there's no hair anywhere on your legs. You moisturize your skin, wash your hair, everything.
This is the first time you're meeting anyone in Levi's circle. Even though he says they're his "colleagues" you know that that's his way of saying friends. You blow dry and curl your hair, watching the curls bounce before you brush them out into loose waves. Your makeup is simply but glowy - your go to.
Your outfit consists of a beige square neck body suit with straight leg jeans that are slightly distressed. You pick out a pair of beige heels to match - they're not too high to where you're uncomfortable but you'll be at Levi's height now. 
By the time you're done with everything, it's 5:45. You decide to pick up a bit around your apartment and spray your favorite vanilla perfume. 
Right at 6, there's a knock at your door. 
"What did I do to deserve seeing Levi Ackerman at my front door twice in one day?" You tilt your head to the side, smiling. 
Levi's eyes wandered to your chest, which was accentuated by the neckline of the bodysuit. You have a bigger chest, which you typically hide. You watched Levi's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "You look beautiful, per usual. Do you have everything? A bag for stuff you'll need for tonight?"
"Wait, why would I need that?"
"Because you're staying at my house tonight."
"Staying as in..."
"Sleeping over. You're sleeping at my house tonight. With me."
"I didn't know." You bit down on your bottom lip. "Ok, give me a few minutes. Sit down." You turn to grab a tote bag out of your closet and grab your essentials. Toothbrush, makeup remover, a change of clothes, a pair of UGG slippers, pajamas, and body wash. "Done." You hold up the bag with a smile plastered on your face. 
Levi nods as he takes the bag from you, turning off the light in your foyer. You lock the door behind you and triple check that its actually locked before you both descend down the stairs.
"So where's happy hour?" You ask as you watch Levi's hands on the steering wheel. 
"It's at this bar downtown that everyone likes to go to. I don't go out much, so I've only been there once when I got my promotion." 
You nod as he explains, gazing out the window. You feel Levi's large hand land on your thigh, squeezing it gently. "They're going to love you." 
"I hope so." It's like he knew exactly what you were feeling. That you were anxious to meet the people that are around him every day because they could think you're not good enough for him. They could have seen ex girlfriends that were prettier than you. Levi rubbed his thumb across your thigh for reassurance.
Levi helped you out of his car before leading you into the building, which was half bar, half restaurant. 
"Levi! You made it!" You look up and see a group of people with drinks in your hand. The one that called for Levi was one of the guys that was with Jean when he asked for your number.
"I'm still Mr. Ackerman outside of work." Levi squeezes your hand gently. "This is my girlfriend." Levi introduces you.
"So you're the reason he smiles!" A brunette woman with glasses walks up to you. "My name is Hange. It's a pleasure to meet you!"
"Likewise!" You shake her hand, smiling. 
"This is Erwin, my best friend and President of Ackerman Inc." Levi points to a tall blonde man with piercing blue eyes.
"Nice to meet you. Levi has told me a lot about you." Erwin shakes your hand.
"Not a lot. Don't listen to him." Levi rolls his eyes, introducing you to the rest of his colleagues. "This is my cousin, Mikasa. The one I was telling you about that loves your books. And this is her boyfriend, Eren." 
Eren was the one that Levi said to call him Mr. Ackerman. You smile as you meet the couple, noticing the similarities between Levi and Mikasa. They're both very poised and serious at all times.
Levi leaves you for a few moments to mingle. Mikasa grabs your arm gently to get your attention.
"I know my cousin can be an ass." She smiles. "But he really cares about you. He's talked about you and has even cracked a smile while doing so." 
"Thanks, Mikasa. I appreciate that. He's not the easiest to deal with." You laugh, glancing over at Levi. He's standing with Erwin and Hange as he waits for drinks at the bar. He doesn't bother asking you what you want to order, since it's always a white wine. 
Your nerves calm down a bit when Levi's fingers graze yours to hand you your glass. "You okay? Are you having a good time?"
"Yes, Levi." You take a sip of your wine. "Your friends are nice. I like them."
"Colleagues."
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lluzionz · 2 years ago
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"Cpr"
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Dan heng x reader
Tw: spoiler from the start of the game, gn!reader (trailblazer)
A/n: I know I haven't uploaded anything for two months now (but so many things happened (and still happening in my life) and I didn't had the motivation or inspiration to write anything, but I'm back now, hopefully. Love you <3
-
March pushed Dan Heng away before he could give you Cpr. Why did she do that? Why didn't she let him give it to you even tho you were awake? What were you saying he was only trying to help you and here you were fantasizing about his lips to yours. It felt wrong but right at the same time.
This thoughts kept on repeating on your mind, over and over again like some kind of a broken record stuck on repeate as you tossed and turned on your bed, trying to fall asleep but it was impossible. Opening your eyes slowly, you stared up at the ceiling, trying to think of something to do, to get Dan Heng out of your mind, but how could you? You were still able to feel his soft hand on your cheek as he leaned over you to give you cpr, his warm breath hitting your face as he came closer and closer. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink as an idea popped inside your mind and you wondered "How it would feel like if I kiss him?"
Placing your index finger to your lips, you tried to imagine the scene of you and Dan Heng kissing. Are his lips soft? Would the kiss be gentle and soft or rough? Would he kiss you back or just push you away before you could get a taste of him. You didn't know. "Well, there is only a way to find out." You said out loud as you jumped up from your bed and walked towards the door, opening it slowly. Your heart was beating like crazy inside your chest as you walked down the hallway of the train, quiet as a mouse in order to not wake anyone up, especially March.
Reaching his room, you didn't even bother to knock at his door as you slowly opened it and walked in. "Who's there?" Dan Heng asked as he sat up on his bed, alerted by the presence of someone in his room. "It's me, Y/N." You made yourself known as you closed the door behind you. "Y/N what are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He asked as he got up from his bed and walked towards you. "No, nothing is wrong." You said as you walked towards him, a flirtasious sensation in your steps. "Then why are you here?" He tried to ask you but you didn't reply to him. Instead you grabbed him by the collar and without any hesitation connected your lips to his.
To say that he was shocked would be a major understatment. His mind stopped working completely as he just stood there, eyes wide oped, staring at you. Pulling away, you couldn't help but chuckle at how red his cheeks had turned. He looked so cute, being all flustered like that. "Why do you look so embarrashed? Weren't you the one who almost gave me cpr?" You grinned as you raised a brow at him "But I don't need cpr." He tried to say but you cut him off. "Just shut up and kiss me already." He wanted to say something to that but preffered to stay quiet and instead do what you asked him to do.
Cupping your face into his hands, he leaned over to capture your lips into a soft kiss. His lips felt so soft and perfect as you two kissed gently but as time passed by, you couldn't resist the urge to grab him by the collar and slammed his body against a nearby wall. A small moan of pain escaped him, making you kiss him even harder. Gosh he was so hot, you could literally kiss him for hours on end. And the same went for him too. Ever since his eyes landed on you, he was unable to take the image of you out of his mind. The way you looked so peaceful while you layed there unconsious, the way his heart beat faster when March forced him to give you cpr, how sad he felt when she pushed him away from you and how much he wanted to connecy his lips to yours and now it was finally happening.
Smilling through the kiss, you started making your way down his neck, leaving wet kisses behind. Small, soft moans escaped him as he tried to muffle them with the sleeve of his shirt but you stopped him. "I want to hear your sweet sounds, don't cover them." You smiled that flirtatious smile that had him weak on the knees as you returned to his neck, leaving kisses and hickeys all over. His moans got louder and louder as your teeth bit into his flesh.
Using your hand, you ran it up and down his chest, feeling his somewhat muscular body. "I didn't expect you to like it so much. You murmured against his skin, causing him to blush. "You're doing me so well, keep going." He said without caring how this would made sound. Leaving a chuckle escape, you gave the man what he asked for and you were so good at doing this that he will make sure to have more moments like this with you in the future. Was he going to take advantage of your fantasies whenever he felt lovely and needed some company? Absolutely yes.
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jihyocentric · 1 year ago
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hi guys.
if you don't want to read my ted talk about writing and taking a break, i'll just make it quick: i'm taking a break yet again, but this time i'm not sure when or if i'll be back. if you do want to know more, just keep reading. and i apologize in advance for this long ass thing.
i haven't been active lately for a couple of reasons, and being busy is one of them. the other reason is that i don't know if i want to keep going with this blog anymore. at least not at the moment.
writing is something i love to do and i probably won't ever stop writing, but lately i just genuinely haven't felt like making time to write. i guess this feeling comes mostly from a lack (? probably not the word) of response to the drabbles. maybe i'm being silly (i probably am) but i feel like in the past you used to be more responsive with stuff i actually wrote — fills and non requested drabbles, not general asks. mostly ongoing aus related stuff.
i've said this quite a few times but your feedback is really important to me, lumi, particularly. it might not be to other authors, but it's what keeps me writing. doing this for nobody doesn't really make sense in my mind... and i don't mean being 'active' as in leaving a like on the drabbles, because likes don't mean much to me, but i miss you guys actually talking about the stuff on the drabbles that you genuinely happy or that made you laugh when read it or that you just enjoyed to see. do you know what i mean?
and that's really what fueled me to write during these 2 years (almost) that i've been here. during these past months i know i've been quite busy and writing less than before, and each week i write less because i only used to make time to write when i knew you guys were waiting for it and that you'd enjoy what i wrote and come to me to talk about it... but ever since i started working and my classes came back, i keep thinking if it's worth it to write stuff if i won't know if you liked it or not.
and i also always feel like what i'm writing isn't good, and i know you will say otherwise, but it's a particular feeling. i can't help it. i know i'm doing the right thing when you feel the genuine need to come talk to me about stuff i wrote, because i might not like my own stuff, but if you do, then that's enough for me to keep trying to be better.
anyway, i won't keep talking and i've probably just wasted your time being silly and talking nonsense because you are quite active in general and there are other writers that are way better than me and don't get any attention at all, but i just felt like i had to explain why i'm not going to be writing for the time being and leave again — i promised i wouldn't just vanish for months like i did last year.
and i'm truly sorry to those who do interact with the stuff i write, i really do appreciate you all. i'm just probably tired and talking gibberish and maybe i didn't use the right words to express myself... all i was trying to say is that i'm not really motivated right now and really, really busy. and i guess you are too. i also don't want this to come out as 'scolding' (?) if this is the right word to use. i just feel like i am not writing good enough stuff for you to even have feedback to send over to me.
well that's all. i wanted to be transparent instead of leaving without a proper reason, because you deserve my honesty. thank you for the time 💛
#me
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trollocks-in-my-bollocks · 1 month ago
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20 Questions about writing 2.0
A while ago @lavendelhummel tagged me in her ask post and I want to make a point about my ability to actually react to stuff in a timely manner (rip). I worked a 12h shift today and with an addled brain (edit: lol I haven't managed to post this from the drafts in two days), I'm doing this. This is fun, we are going to have fun now.
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
Officially five. Unofficially there's a secret 6th one.
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
68,919 words, most of it was written in 2022 when I had a weird year. The country next to us was being invaded by another, people who I'd thought would know better just went fully insane, I felt isolated and I needed escapism. Then next year I moved to a farm in Italy for a month, then to another country to do research for half a year through a dark slavic winter, so being alone was a theme and I was writing most of my fics in those periods when I had no family or social life, just quiet nights and my laptop.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The Wheel of Time, my plots are spoilery and most of my stories are about the gap between NS and TEOTW or set after TMOL.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Born from Dark Water -- (The Cute One)
2. Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways -- (The Kinky One)
3. Winternight's Tales -- (a series of short stories with a Moiraine/Birgitte threat in the background, a sort of AMOL fix-it)
4. Rain -- (the Entai One)
5. Il vento non era l'inizio -- (The One Written In Italian People Still Left Kudos On???)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I receive the best comments and nearly always reply but sometimes when someone says something incredibly nice I take several days or weeks to reply because I don't want to ruin the impression my fic left in them with an inadeqate reply. I know it's silly.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I'm not willing to write angsty endings, we have the source material for that. If I need to choose it would be Il vento non era l'inizio because it's a story about Moiraine leaving Siuan behind in Tar Valon and she's accidentally making it snow (sad cloud dancer moment).
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways has the most optimistic ending compared to were the story is coming from.
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Not really. Someone once freaked out a bit because my characters didn't cuddle but that was more on the entertaining side.
9. Do you write smut?
I try but light knows I'm so bad at it. I probably shouldn't be allowed to write wlw scenes but who else will write that specific story then?? the ethernal conflict.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No :(
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I think it's natural for this fandom to have this collective meta lore that evolves with time (e.g. we all think it was Siuan who taught Moiraine fishing with her powers) and people take inspiration from this collective pool, it can't be always traced back who had a certain idea first. That being said, I often start my chapters explaining in a short note which author inspired certain characterisations or ideas in my story, just to be fair and mostly because I'm obsessed with these fanworks and I want them to be read and cherished.
I did experience a certain author 'borrowing' very specific world-building elements from me. I didn't really mind it but they could have left notes, kudos or comments or something on the fic they were borrowing from, it wasn't really elegant this way.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not to my knowledge, but writing them is already a translation process (pain).
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but it would be so motivating to do that.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Well, Moiraine and the Green Man of course. Siuanraine but I'm not good at writing them so I just binge other authors' stories.
While they never meet in the books, I'm obsessed with Birgitte/Moiraine and how well they could understood each other's pain. I'm actually so obsessed that I have written 37,229 words about the topic. (Most of it is just post-TMOL fix it, they only meet in the last few chapters of the story)
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
Probably the secret one. Also I always think that the next chapter would be the final one for Winternight's Tales and then the story just takes a turn at its own will.
16. What are your writing strengths?
My worldbuilding and the way I'm writing platonic relationships, probably. I think I'm good at writing entai as well :DDD.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The Sex Scenes and my dialogues.. Also I'm writing these long sentences and it's so hard to change that habit.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I'm constantly writing dialogues in another language. It's hard.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I've written a ballad for the Stargate fandom in my native tongue when I was a teenager. I got a comment on it on ff.net after I graduated from my bachelors but I was so happy about it :D
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways, I laughed so much when I was writing this one.
I'm going to be a creep and just tag the writers here I sort of know and like so much, @lakeofsilverpike @asuitablegirl96, @gabolange @woodytwig @onaperduamedee @poohsticksbridge, @thatordinaryoddity but no pressure!
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animal-lover-forever · 6 months ago
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I hope it's okay when I ramble here a bit. If not, just delete the message.
I got mutuals that aren't so active. They only show up a few days before vanishing for weeks or months. But I cherish them as much as the one that are always here.
A few weeks ago I made a drawing to send it with a few words to one of my mutuals that I haven't heard of for months. Giving them encouraging and honest words. Making sure they know I'm always here for them, that I see them as a friend no matter how much time passed or how long we didn't wrote each other. They were there for me, they wrote the most comments under my posts and reblogged thing with the most motivating tags. We never talked much but we still saw each other as friends. I care for them and they for me.
And yesterday they responded in such a gentle way, I cried. I learned over the years to harden myself against such things, but the answer and to know they're okay and still there just moved my heart so much. I was happy to hear from them again. They will create a new blog here to begin anew, to get a second chance. They say to tell me when there back with a new blog, but even when they would forget it over the time: I will always hold them close to my heart.
And that's something I want to continue and wish we could see here more again! Mutuals writing small little messages to their moots, even when they vanish for a long time. Small gestures like a comment or a mention of a post they saw and reminded of them. Or a simple Hi in the DMs. Giving them a sign that is always okay to come to us to talk, that we're not angry or annoyed of them, that they don't need to apologise to take breaks no matter how inactive they were. Especially when they were gone for long. It's important, we all need such thing from time to time. We all need a little ray of sunshine from others.
I hope you have a good day, stay safe. And thanks for listening q(^-^q)
"I hope it's okay when I ramble here a bit. If not, just delete the message." - troublesjunkyard
BAD TROUBLE! HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WAY! (ノ`Д´)ノ
With the amount of times I come into your ask box to ramble or vent, why would you think such things!?
And how dare you suggest such things!
Just delete the message, she says.
You know what's funny, is that I was just about to send a vent in your askbox before I saw that you sent me an ask. ( っ- ‸ – c)
Also, it's good to care about others even if they aren't around often.
It shows them that someone will always be around for them. :3
I wish I could say that I have friends like that.
I've never held a relationship with someone for more than a year or two.
When I was younger, I was hard to get along with; and I got kicked out of school often, so the few friends I did make, I couldn't keep because I had to move schools.
Now, I just tend to keep to myself.
I'm a bit shy around new people, and don't tend to talk unless talken to.
Once I've warmed up to you and I know you, it's very hard to shut me up.
But because I don't talk unless talken to when around new people, it makes it harder to make friends.
If I'm being honest, my only friends are here on Tumblr.
I have no real friends out in the wild.
I can't just call my friends and ask them to hang out with me.
Google likes to remind me that I have no friends. :(
Me: "what to do when bored"
Google: "Hang out with your friends."
Me: ... "what to do when bored and don't have any friends"
Google: ... "Read a book?"
Me: ... Damn. If only I didn't have a 3rd grade reading level. :/
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rubiatinctorum · 5 months ago
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Okay honesty time i am SO stressed out!!! i had a busy Friday and then waited a really long time to make a marketplace sale on Saturday and one of the people was a no-show and i had/have too many things listed — to the point there were things i realised i wanted to keep and not sell!!! and last time i did this i was like 'ok, purpose served and nothing lost, take the listing down and put it back where it belongs in my room no problem' and that was that — but tonight i'm feeling really sad about it!!!!! like oh no i accidentally almost sold things i love!!! even though they didn't get sold and i still have them and there's no harm done and there's no evil in thinking about selling something. it's a betrayal to no one and nothing if i almost made the wrong call but didn't. but now i feel bad and awful and terrible and based on the time of the month and other recent symptoms i think i might just be nearly ready to start my period again, i cry really easily a day or two before over things i can normally act normaler about. anyway soon i have to arrange sale meetings for things and pester people who no-showed if they want an alternate time (as if that's not foolish as hell bc hello!!! they didn't show the first time!!!!) and ask the people who've been pending on sales now for a while if they even want the thing (implication: damn are u even decided on this bc ur not moving to like. buy it or anything). one customer in particular is really trying my patience bc she won't confirm one way or another whether she wants something AND she's trying to bring the price down. it's already discounted!!! i can't sell it for less than that!!!! im already losing lots of money on what i paid for it i cannot bring it down even further. marketplace used to be fun (like. earlier this week) but now people aren't showing up on time or at all and i'm losing day after day after day to sitting in my living room looking out the window in preparation for someone arriving 30-45 minutes late (side note: i wish many lovely days for the person who arrived not only on time today, but early and still in my window of availability!!!! that was really nice and so much more refreshing compared to many late people lately) and now that i'm out of direct financial crisis but don't feel the motivation to recreationally spend, i feel now like all of this is kind of a chore. it's 11 days into August now and i feel like I made good use of 2.5 days of it. it's a third through the month and i feel like i've wasted most of it online trying to sell sell sell. i don't want to lose the end of the summer like this. Then again what kind of end of summer is it? We've had a few nice weather days, but most of August has been overcast and/or rainy. Not exactly going out weather. God, this sucks. Dull April, May, June weather. Beautiful July weather. Dull August. Then back into autumn. Is this where we're at now? One beautiful and warm month a year? This is the worst year for weather I think I've ever seen, and considering I spent most of the year looking forward to a bit of sun as my main thing to look forward to, this feels kind of sad. I guess I have to get used to going for walks again when it's foggy and rainy, like I did back in May and June. Maybe I'll even take up going to the mall again. I haven't been to the mall in over a month. I don't know what I'd do there, even. anyway i feel a bit better now and less stressed so i guess typing this had some benefit after all. i have a journal, i don't know why i couldn't say all this there, though i did write about some of it. i guess it's easier for me to be a yapper when i'm online. there's just something different about making my inside thoughts into outside thoughts
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princeescaluswords · 2 years ago
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I don't necessarily want to give them fuel to the fire but, one of your hot takes has stayed with me for months now. And that is the argument that Deaton being a bad guy is very lazy and caricature-like. At least in the manner that they do it. And I've asked myself well what reason could he be a bad guy? And try as I might there is no reason I can come up with that doesn't instead make Derek the bad guy. Going off of Just Cannon Derek didn't make the best first impression on anyone until season 3. And my question is, if you choose to humor the matter, what reason would you give for Deaton that would actually make him the bad guy that would actually hold weight.
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Well, first off, personally, I wouldn't. It might sound like an entertaining exercise, but nothing we do exists in a vacuum. There is no scenario I could conjure, even if I were a 100 times a better writer than I am (which wouldn't be hard), that wouldn't exist within the fandom context. It's inescapable, no matter how many people pretend otherwise, that the products of your mind are produced and received within an established cultural setting. For over a decade, a significant majority of this fandom has indulged in racist resentment toward a black male character because he exhibited the right to pursue his own agenda and maintain his own boundaries, and said agenda was centered on mentoring a Latino lead protagonist and not on any of the white male characters that they preferred. That Teen Wolf wrote Alan Deaton as possessing the same agency as white male characters is a crime for which it will never be forgiven, and even the seemingly innocent of act of imagining unwritten stories where he is the villain feeds this injustice. Period.
I will, however, talk about how it did not need to be this way. If all the stories written by the Teen Wolf fandom -- the ones labeled Untrustworthy Deaton, Dark Deaton, Evil Deaton and the many more which take that as a given but don't bother to give it a proper label -- had been written with the actual purpose of making Deaton a plausible villain and not to salve fandom's indignation, we could have a conversation about it. (I'm not saying that there isn't any well-written Villain Deaton stories, but I haven't found any yet) This is because transforming canon should be a source of endless variation, turning heroes into villains and vice versa, but that transformation, like everything else, can be perverted, especially if the goal is vengeance for an action that exists outside of the narrative itself.
To my mind, I find that transforming a benevolent character like Deaton into a villain requires a fanfiction author to pay attention to three characteristics. (Not strangely at all, I feel that these are important for an original villain as well.)
Motivation: Why does the villain do what they do? When I write, it helps me to think about it in two aspects -- their specific goal in the story and the character flaws that enable it. Teen Wolf was very good at showing both aspects. Peter Hale's specific goal was vengeance, first against the Argents and then against Scott McCall, enabled by his enormous sense of immoral entitlement. (That's why I don't buy his Season 6 rehabilitation, because while his specific goals changed, his entitlement did not vanish). Gerard wanted to survive his cancer and establish his legacy, enabled by his ruthless disregard for the actual benevolent purpose of his family. All of Teen Wolf's villains were memorable because attention was paid to motivation. A problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that the author doesn't give a damn about why Deaton does what he does; he's a villain solely because the author wants him to be.
Threat: To be a villain, the character has to have the capability to succeed. They have to be more powerful, more cunning, or have a lot of people on their side. Stupid, inane bureaucrats can be villains, for example, because they can use the might of the law to get their way. It's the primary difference between antagonist and villain; Teen Wolf also takes care to establish the sense of threat. Season 2 Derek creates a trio of eager and sad child soldiers, punches through concrete, and stomps on Scott's throat with little difficulty. Matt controlled the kanima. Another problem with the majority of Villain Deaton stories is that Deaton is seldom an actual threat. Stiles is always smarter and/or more magically powerful; Peter and Derek are always able to tactically overwhelm him without much problem; Deaton's usually alone in his wickedness save for his moronic catspaw who is somehow the benefit of Deaton's schemes without actually being able to do anything. The authors aren't really interested in telling a story with tension so they don't give Deaton an opportunity to win; they're simply trying to justify the coming lynching (and yes, I use that word deliberately).
Consistency: The actions of the villain have to conform to both their motivations and their role. This seems simple, but a lot of authors are so eager to get their vengeance on a character in a television show that they just skip the part where they make the plot make sense. For example, so many times Villain Deaton is out to suppress Stiles's overwhelming magical heritage yet that author leaves the scene in Raving (1x08) intact, no matter how little sense that makes. Or Villain Deaton wants to destroy the Hale Pack, but left Peter unmolested in the hospital for six years, doesn't accuse Derek of kidnapping him in Night School (1x07), teaches Isaac a useful skill in Battlefield (2x11), and doesn't take the opportunity to finish Derek off in Fury (2x10).
I would be a lot more content with the Villain Deaton stories I have read if they would just pay attention to the actual transformation they claim is their goal. But they're not interested in turning one story into another. The author's goal is to express their racist frustration that a black authority figure denied white prioritization and focused on a Latino lead protagonist instead of a white male character. That's his crime, and these stories are here to deliver the proper label and the proper punishment.
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boyfhee · 7 months ago
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jay is the husband who would bring you a flower a day, searching what each flower mean 🥺 fuck it, i cant have him but you can.
thanks, you can definitely give me more tips for counselling hehe. i don't know if she will take bipc but she says i will cause one day she tell, ill take arts amd commerce other day ill take mec and other day, polytechnic haha like she chamges it everyday so i really cant tell.
but she is studying in 10th so, a few more months and she will decide what is good for her. the fact that there will be no boards for the coming 10th students 😔 why were we born in the 2000's era caelin? why?
i dont think you will faint in faint of the cadaver, i have seen dissection videos on youtube before i join pcm so, i know the courage it takes to stand near it and do it + when you sleep alone at night, what if it haunts you 😭 nooo, i am done for sure.
since i am an ENGINEERing student, can't talk about it but i will always talk medicine with you. please share me what you learn sometimes caelin, ok? hope your medicine years will go smoothly <3
i got into kpop early 2020, day before bts on comeback 😁 i never knew what were comebacks or debut or contents etc etc. until i started stanning bts. and then enhypen since the day their profiles were released 🤧 i saw my bois grow, you cant ask me how i suffered. eggies will definitely cry if you ask them about iland.
what groups did you stan during your early kpop days??? and what kdramas or anime were your firsts?? i am 17 so it's okay if i interact with you right?? i saw your carrd too, but asking again 😌
anyway, goodnight caelin, hope you meet jay in your dreams. tell me if you guys got married or not :0 and when you see this, it will be morning so happy morning <33 and happy bakhrid.
— lover clun anon ^3^
im tweaking please stop . literally wanted to write a jay fic as we speak, but i have no motivation to write these days TT
OMG tenth graders are like that !!! my brother is also in tenth and one day he wants to go in soft engineering and the other, astrophysics or lawyer, it's a mess. he hates bio though, so med is definitely not an option for him :"> AND NO BOARDS FOR TENTH ANYMORE ? god hates me. out batch felt so experimental tbf :/
i love watching dissection / surgery videos, but what if i can't stand the smell ㅠㅠ gna sleep at night after reciting hanuman chalisa bruv o_o also my cousin is a dentist and she told be about a dream she had where he was running away from a huge jaw ?? chasing after her ?? it was a couple days before her finals lmfao
and i would love to hear you talk about engineering too :D not that i know a lot, but maybe this is my chance to expand my knowledge >< i will surely tell you what i learn ( was revising thorax anatomy yesterday btw ) hope engineering treats you well mwah
ohh omg i used to stan bts ! like around blood, sweat and tears era ?? it lasted till they they dropped idol i think ? and then it felt like their music changed drastically so i stopped listening to them, but i do have a few new songs that i like, mostly solo works that too of jk only TT i have a v bad habit of not listening to new songs for some reason
actually, two of my friends gushed about iland, but i was never into survival shows so i just listened to them and hyped them up but never focused on it. then i saw that sunghoon was debuting as an idol— i knew him since he was a figure skater, but that still didn't convince me to check them out lmfao TT but i came across fever one day and i'm telling you, i listened to it for weeks straight before even bothering to check the group out hehe ( _ _; ) even though i haven't watched iland, i've seen clips and that gave me an idea of how the show was
my first kpop group was exo ! i stanned bts shortly after, and then was introduced to nct, then svt, now enhypen. although i have been a casual listener to a lot of groups, esp ggs. and the only ggs i've ever stanned are formis and aespa >< my first kdrama was suspicious partner, i love it so much :D the chemistry is so good ++ it has a mystery element so i love it even more. and first anime was haikyuu TT i love them sm, it's truly my comfort show
now tell me about you :O your first kdrama, anime, first bias, how did you come across kpop, do you collect albums / merch— anything !
ps i didn't meet jay in my dreams ( for some reason, whenever i have enha dreams they're super weird and the boys try to kill me most of the time ) i had a nice sleep nonetheless, hope u did too ! eid mubarak to you as well ^_^
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blindedguilt · 1 year ago
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It's been quiet for some time, Leonard had noticed — not unlike the time he spent in the forest. It left him feeling some way he couldn't exactly tell. Was it unease? Possible loneliness? Either one was a feeling he hadn't expected to come back in such a way, but similarly, again, it had dug up a familiar memory of the forest...
Having finished tending to the small bonfire where he sat, Leonard's shoulders dropped and his head leaned back. For the first time since his pact — since meeting Seere — he wished he could be relieved of his blindness if only to confirm he wasn't alone as he thought he was.
The bonfire's warmth kept him comfortable, at least, as did the hope of the momentary thought that echoed throughout his mind: Time would tell.
//So this isn't an easy decision, but after a couple weeks of mulling it over, I've decided to put this blog into semi-permanent hiatus - basically, if things change either with the state of the RPC or my motivation to write I'll be more than eager to return, though it does seem unlikely.
//Things have been quiet lately, and it's of course by no means anyone's fault for being quiet!! (I can't blame them, life and Tumblr bullshit have taken a toll on a large portion of the RPC as a whole lately) But in the end, I think it had more of an effect on my motivation to write than even I expected. I tried for the past year or so to "Get back on my feet", as even now I deeply miss Leonard and being able to write him, but evidentially, I haven't gotten very far QwQ
//That said!! While this could be it for this blog, if anyone wants to discuss plans for plotting or even just chatting over Discord (At the end of the post), lemme know! One of the hardest things about the choice to leave this blog behind is definitely the loss of community that comes with it, there were a lot of people who followed me and that I briefly spoke to these past months who I don't want to cut off a potential friendship with just because of my own personal circumstances!
//And going onto that topic, I won't be shutting down or removing any current drafts or asks in my inbox in the event I ever magically DO get motivation to write again or something changes, and of course, that in turn means the blog itself will be staying as well!! You might have guessed, it goes without saying that this blog and the interactions on it mean a great deal not to just me, but (At least I hope!!) some of you. It's also a bit of why I wanted to "wrap up" the blog with the in-character piece at the top, even given my issues with writing (I may add to it to make it feel more "complete", given I kinda don't like how half-assed it feels currently), it just didn't feel fair to go for what could be forever without letting him speak his final piece. :,)
//I won't spend too long waxing out all the sentimentals, but I've stated over and over how when I first made this blog, I really wasn't expecting it to last much more than a couple weeks before moving onto another character. It's kind of impossible for me to state just how much this blog and all the experiences on it mean to me personally and the impact it's left, both personally, as I mentioned before, but also in my enjoyment and love for Drakengard 1 and 2 and Leonard's character specifically! Being able to dive into his mind and find someone I can put together so easy with such a well-constructed tragedy, it's not much of an overstatement to say that ironically, being able to play and put my own mind and problems away for one I not only cared to look into, but one I could more easily pick apart and explain the actions of while being layered enough and having enough facets to make it interesting. Leonard in a lot of ways was and is a sort of second life for me, but in a way I didn't have to deal with the burden of having a psychical body or firsthand perspective! lmao
//And not to be sounding all overdramatic or anything but as I said, it's letting go of not just what feels sort of like a little hideout or small part of me I like to nurture and keep from falling into rot, but this blog is some of the most fun I've had in a horribly otherwise busy, yes, but very mundane outside life. It's sort of pathetic to admit, but I mean it in the best way I can when I say I haven't really gotten so emotionally engaged with anything in a long time. Just the small interactions and memorable snippets from this blog, both from long-standing partners, people who fell off, or even people I just spoke to once and then never again still play over in my head and definitely spark a lot of joy when I really need it! I'll be honest, there's not one day that goes by where I don't think of at least one interaction I've had here. I remember my pain at being in a different timezone and always falling behind the drama before I went to the US and could finally catch up. To update on that: I'm not doing too well in the US in all honesty, but I'm doing my best to get on my feet and making progress!! One of the first things I always did in difficult situations was, unironically, use this blog to reference some old posts and memes to laugh and think about all the new connections, subplots, and jokes that were going to be shared.
//I guess the final point I'd like to make is a short one, but a major argument I had against shutting down when the thought first entered my mind, and the hardest part of all this is the loss of potentiality. I had a lot planned for Leonard, both things that I actively wanted to do and just general questions of "What kind of people will he meet with next? What will he think of them, and how long will they get to develop with each other?" The thought both of meeting new people and the interactions that could be shared with them, as well as all the different interactions and shenanigans that I thought might be in store when the DOD RPC came back was a major motivator in why I kept trying to fight my writer's block, and why I even kept this blog going for the past year with barely any activity to speak of. Even going on Discord, as you might imagine, can be limiting in its setup compared to just being able to search and see who's out there via tumblr - and joining communities can be quite an issue being a Leonard mun, specifically!!
//But either way, I'll be sure to find my way around it one way or another, and hopefully, by some divine miracle, I'll just end up back at this blog anyways!! Again, the chances are slim, but I'm really holding out here dskhffkdbhdkh
//I think that should be it based off what I wanted to say, Leonard's left nice and comfy at his campfire, and it's getting late so with ALL that said, if we've spoken or never have before (ESPECIALLY if we never have, I like to believe you followed for a reason so I'd love to speak to you so we can get to know each other better, plot, or just chat!!), please consider following me on Discord!! I'm usually on there, and always happy to talk (Unless I'm on Do not Disturb, but that's hardly ever lol):
//My discord is: barnabism
//Anyways, I apologise for the downer announcement, but this has been wracking my brain for the past few days so I'm at least glad just to get the hard part over with. :,)
//Thank you all for over two years of writing!! Please don't be afraid to reach out, and as always, if you have any questions, please ask!! ^^
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sasakihimari · 2 years ago
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←Part One, Strangers 2 Lovers
Lovers 2 Strangers
Warning: mature language; mentions of domestic violence; weapon usage
Genre: angst, fluff
Characters: kang seulgi; sasaki himari (original character portrayed by hirai momo)
Summary: What happens when two lovers bump into each other years later? Will their love resurface? Or will they be strangers to each other?
Author's note: Sasaki Himari is a character my sister and best friend created for different motives, however I have decided to use her with the intention to portray the reader being involved in the story for my fanfics simply because I adore the character and want to give her some exposure. You may replace her name with yours if it is of your preference, I just have a hard time continuously writing [Y/N] for an entire fanfic and figured this would be a easier way to do a Character x Reader fanfic.
Caution: Please keep in mind that I do not mean any hate towards any idol that might be mentioned in this fanfic and every idol's personality will be adapted and changed accordingly to fit the storyline. I love all the girls mentioned and would never speak ill of anyone.
Word Count: 9364
Now without further adue, let's get started...
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❝Hana!❞ she cried out rushing behind the little infant, who ran around the house on tiny wobbly legs. ❝Be careful!❞ she'd cry out every time her heart dropped to her stomach as she watched the infant lose balance.
Sighing, Sasaki plopped down on the couch, absolutely exhausted, as the infant rested upstairs finally out for her afternoon nap. When Min and Kim had mentioned several times how having a child was no joke, she didn't fully take them seriously. And it wasn't that she regretted having Hana, but she certainly regretted not having their words taken into consideration to prepare herself.
Cherry 🍒 chat opened
Kyong, Ji-eun, Su-jin, Ae-ra and Mari
Ae-ra: [attachment photo]
Su-jin: Congrats on the pregnancy!
Ji-eun: Oh my, congrats!
Mari: Congratulations! And good luck.
Ji-eun: Oh! This reminds me! How's life going, unnie?
Mari: ... -_-
Kyong: Congrats!
Cherry 🍒 chat closed
Tossing her phone aside, Min let out a happy sigh as her head rested against her husband's chest. Their little ones both in school. Miyoung had just started first grade and DaeSeong was now in forth grade.
❝Jagi?❞ her voice soft, sleepy even as she tilted her head just enough to look at him and he looked down to let her continue, ❝I've been thinking... We have an extra guest room that's never been used.. what if I invite Mari to spend a few days here? Me and the girls haven't seen her since we left Seul. All of us can easily meet up since we don't live too far away but her.❞
❝Of course, honey. Just let me know when she's coming over. I know you miss her with her being all the way over in Japan.❞ he said offering her a tender smile before pressing a gentle kiss upon her head. Of course that she quickly stretched over to grab the phone she previously tossed. She dialed Himari's number and waited. Ringing once, twice...
❝GAH! No, no, no!❞ she rushed to answer the phone before the loud noise woke her infant from the nap, ❝I would have murdered you if Hana had woken up.❞ It was the first thing she said the second she had brought the phone up to her ear.
❝Geez, is that how you great your bestie?❞ she heard from the other line, followed by her best friend's laughter.
❝Is everything alright?❞ Sasaki asked now calmer, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as she checked the little screen on the baby monitor and Hana seemed unbothered.
❝Yes, yes! Everything's fine. Anyways, I'll go straight to the point. I've been thinking and I've talked to Changbin about it and he's on board with it so, what are your plans for the next few months?❞ Ji-eun spoke, a little too fast, which tented to happen when she was excited, earning herself a giggle from Himari.
❝Um.. I'm on family leave for indefinite time? Why?❞ a brow wrinkled as she awaited an answer. To say that she was confused would most definitely be an understatement, the tall female was beyond lost.
❝Why don't you and Hana come stay over for a few weeks? We can go out for lunch for the rest of the girls! And you can explore South Korea with Hana this time!❞ she squealed, nearly deafening the poor brunette on the other side of the call.
Himari paused. Going back to Korea could lead to a whole black hole of possibilities. Would she be okay if she accidentally ran into Seulgi? Would she breakdown? What if Seulgi had completely changed? But she missed them, all the cherry girls and the Red Velvet girls. But she'd never dare to meet with any of Red Velvet members.
❝Hello? Mari? You there? Hello?❞
❝Shit, um sorry... Um, sure. I would love to.❞ She said and Min let out a deafening squeak.
❝I'll see you tomorrow!❞ she exclaimed making Sasaki's eyes to open as wide as ever. Tomorrow!? How was she supposed to pack for her and Hana plus get tickets in such short notice!? To say that she panicked was.. being nice. The girl tossed the phone on the couch leaving Ji-eun talking to herself as she rushed to her computer to buy tickets.
Once purchased, Himari rushed into her room as quietly yet quickly as she could pulling out her suitcase from the walk-in closet and throwing it open on the bed before she started going through her clothes. Packing quite a few outfits for the following weeks she'd be away but before she could finish, the loud, deafening cries of the lungful infant were made heard down the hall and she threw whatever she was holding to the bed for further analysis as she went into Hana's yellow themed nursery.
❝Shhh, it's okay, mama's here.❞ she'd sooth as she scooped the child into her arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she walked to the armchair in the corner, sitting down and allowing the infant to latch herself to her breast. The phonecall never once crossed her mind again and if Ji-eun was awaiting her return, she could sit there all day. ❝Mama's taking you to see a new place, isn't that exciting?❞ she spoke ever so softly, a warm smile on her lips as her eyes met Hana's tiny orbs that lovingly stared up at her as she ate, all you could hear from her were little content coos muffled by the chest of her mother. Her little fingers wrapped around Sasaki's index finger.
Burping her as Hana finally released her food source, Sasaki sat her in the rather big playground on an opposite corner of the room for Hana to play while she reached for a second suitcase to pack Hana's clothes, diapers, wipes, hygiene products such as baby oil, shampoo and body wash to a baby toothbrush and toothpaste to brush the very few teeth she had, a few teething toys and little blankets. Of course she then prepared her daughter's bag with diapers, wipes and creams for her to bring with her into the plane as well as a backpack with her wallet, iPad and her Huawei phone.
Of course she had bought tickets for tomorrow at 5am, out of pure luck they were the only ones available. So now it was past midnight and she couldn't seem to put Hana to sleep so she could get some rest. But she had to be up as early as three in the morning to be at the airport by four.
Finally having set Hana in her crib out cold, she flopped onto the queen sized bed of her bedroom, falling asleep as fast as a snap of a finger. She was exhausted so it wasn't hard.
With the tiny asleep infant attached to her chest by the baby carrier, Himari had checked in and the suitcases had been taken from her with her respective identification on the handles and was now in line to board the plane. In a way, it came in handy it took her so long to put Hana down because now the little girl slept peacefully as her head rested on Sasaki's chest but on the downside, she was exhausted, an hour and a half of sleep barely did her any difference than having pulled an all nighter.
Upon landing, she went to collect her suitcases, a crying infant attached to her. The flight was two and a half hours long and Hana had awoken on the last half hour left. She had fed her as well as changed her, but Hana was in discomfort due to the new teeth pushing through the gums.
❝Shhh, it's okay, mama knows, sweet girl.❞ She'd say in an attempt to sooth her as she looked for the girls. When her eyes saw them, a bright smile plastered across her face, ❝You're gonna meet some of mommy's bestest friends today.❞
❝Mari!❞Ae-ra and Ji-eun exclaimed running towards her and she couldn't help but to chuckle at the excitement written all over the two girls' faces. The recently completed one years old infant seemed to hush, her tine hands grasping her mother's shirt in her fists.
❝Hi! I've missed you, guys!❞ Sasaki said with a smile as Kyong and Su-jin approached them. Of course that followed by them came a stranger she'd ever only seen from pictures. Changbin, Ji-eun's husband and two little angels holding each of his hands, ❝Is that your husband?❞ she playfully asked, ❝Pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard plenty about you.❞ she said now turned to him, setting down one of her suitcases to hold out her hand.
He chuckled, taking her hand, ❝Same goes around, my wife blabs alot about how you're the only one who doesn't live in Korea and she hasn't seen in years. It is nice to finally meet you.❞
As Ally took the children's hands, he insisted on helping Mari with the suitcases since she already carried an infant, a backpack and her daughter's bag, ❝It's not needed, seriou-❞ before she could even finish, he had already taken them and walked away making Min and the kids chuckle before she gestured with her head for you to follow them.
Ally strapped the kids to their respective carseats and hopped into the passenger's seat of the seven seat car next to the driver's seat. Sasaki strapped Hana to the little baby carseat they had installed for her. It was Miyoung's old carseat.
❝You really thought of everything, huh?❞ Sasaki chuckled, hopping into the seat next to her daughter's carseat.
❝Of course, it was my idea.❞ she laughed, looking back over her shoulder and once everyone was buckled up, her husband took off. Kyong, Su-jin and Ae-ra had already hopped into their cars and driven off to meet with them at Ally's house.
Pulling into their driveway, Mari found herself dumbfounded. And she thought her house was large.
❝We got one of our kids' old crib in your room so Hana can have her sleep, as well as the baby monitor. Don't ask, okay? We had been trying to gain the courage to give it to people but we just couldn't part with our kids'things.❞ she said as Himari hopped off the car and picked Hana into her arms. She grabbed her backpack and Hana's bag before going to get her suitcases only for Changbin to have taken them already.
❝Seriously, you need to tell your husband to chill. I'm not fragile.❞ Himari stated, half joking half honest, she didn't want to be a bother to anyone. He was already nice enough to have agreed to Ji-eun inviting Mari over for a couple weeks.
❝He's always like that. So get ready. He barely lets me do anything around the house as if I don't kick asses for a living.❞ she said with a chuckle, she had grown used to it and honestly it didn't mind her as much as it used to.
They all sat at the dining table. And by all I mean the Cherry girls along with their families while Hana sat in the highchair next to her mother's seat.
❝I'm so glad to see you less gloomy. Deciding to have a kid of your own to raise by yourself did you some good.❞ Su-jin teased, stuffing her mouth with the last bit of food in her plate.
❝Yeah, I agree. Don't you think it is time you find someone tho?❞ Kyong made the mistake of speaking without thinking and Sasaki's smile vanished without a trace and she looked down at her plate, picking at the food.
❝Solar!❞ Min scolded, she knew better than to mention a touchy subject like live.
❝What!? She can't possibly be hang on Seulgi unnie still! It's been almost four years...❞ she didn't see what she had said wrong. But that earned her a 'just shut up' look from both Ji-eun and her husband. ❝Quit looking at me like that! I'm speaking fac-❞
❝Ssss-sss-Seulgi.❞ Himari's head jolted up with widened eyes as she blankly stared at her daughter as everyone fell silent. All the girls had widened eyes and shock written all over their faces.
❝Mama.. mshbf.. Seulgi!❞ the infant sloppily clapped her hands with little giggles and babbles. No one dared to open their mouth. ❝Seulgi! Mama!❞ she babbled again.
❝I- O-out of every word... H-Her name had to be your second word?❞ Himari stuttered out. She was proud her daughter had managed to speak another word but her heart ached at the sound of her name. Pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead, she excused herself ❝Su-jin, could you keep an eye on her for a minute? ...Thank you, please excuse me.❞ she exited the dining room to take a deep breath. 'God damn you, Kyong... Why did you have to bring her up..?❞
Washing her face on the bathroom sink, Sasaki let out another frustrated yet hurt sigh. Her face was clean, however she couldn't hide the red, puffy eyes of hers from the tears she silently let go of. That's when someone knocked on the door.
❝Aunt Mari..?❞ the voice was soft, too soft to belong to an adult which made her frown and slowly open the door. The six year old ran to her, wrapping her arms around both legs of the adult.
❝Miyoung?❞ it came out as a question, confused with the situation.
❝No sad.❞ the little girl said looking up at her and Mari couldn't help but to let out a chuckle. Such a precious kid.
❝Alright, alright. No sad.❞ she chuckled taking Miyoung's hand as the two returned to the dining room. ❝Where's Hana?❞
❝Su-jin took her to change her diaper.❞ Ae-ra- answered with a soft smile and Sasaki nodded. Ji-eun and Changbin started gathering the plates and glasses and taking them to the kitchen loading them into the dishwasher. Sasaki nodded and went to find both her friend and her daughter.
❝There you are. I told you mommy would be quick, see?❞ the girl said in a baby voice, it was weird to see Su-jin act like that but Sasaki shook it off, letting out a soft chuckle as Su-jin handed Hana to her.
Time seemed to fly by as the five of them, along with their families talked and played games in the Mom's living room and now, they were bidding their goodbyes at one another. Before they knew it the sun had set, the kids were all asleep in their respective rooms and so was Ji-eun's husband out cold in their bed as the two girls laughed and talked outside, sitting on the porch' steps.
❝We should probably get some sleep.❞ Sasaki said with a chuckle as she looked at the watch embracing her wrist. They'd been sitting there for an hour now and it was getting late.
❝Oh shit. Right.❞ the two then went inside and wished each other a goodnight before they went their separate ways.
RIIIING RIIIING RIIIING
Groaning, Sasaki turned the alarm off before Hana woke up to it but it was too late as the infant started crying. Slipping her feet into the slippers by the bed and picking her daughter into her arms, ❝Shhh. It's alright, mommy's right here.❞ she rocked her gently in her arms as her cries softened until she started cooking up at her mother, ❝Only you to make mama happy this early in the morning.❞ Sasaki chuckled, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead before feeding her. Once fed, burped and changed, Himari sat her in the crib with a teething toy to go get ready for the day.
❝Good morning.❞ she greeted Changbin with a smile, Hana attached to her hip, ❝Is Ji-eun still asleep?❞ she asked him, who nodded his head making her shake her head. Still the same sleepyhead. ❝I'm gonna take Hana for a walk to let her see around. Maybe go to a park. Just in case she wakes up and asks.❞
He nodded, ❝Alright, I'll let her know. Do you want a stroller for Hana? I'm sure my wife still has Miyoung's somewhere in the basement.❞
❝Really? That would actually be great, she's quite heavy after a while. Gamsahapnida.❞ Sasaki chuckled.
❝Hold on then, I will be right back.❞ and with that said, he left only to return a few minutes later with a dark grey stroller, ❝Here you go, I knew she hadn't thrown it away.❞ he said as he mounted the stroller for her.
❝Oh- You didn't have to, thank you.❞ Sasaki said with a smile, setting Hana down on the stroller and securely strapping her. ❝Have you ever thought about why she might be keeping this stuff?❞
❝No? Because she's emotionally attached?❞ his brow wrinkled at the question.
❝Perhaps she wants another child?❞ she teased him and his eyes went wide.
❝Why? As she said anything? Has she told you that?❞ he panicked making her start laughing.
❝Relax, I'm just joking. She never mentioned anything... Or did she?❞ and the relieved sigh he was about to release turned into widening eyes yet again, ❝Anyways, bye! Thank you for the stroller and all the help!❞ and with that said she walked outside, leaving him to wonder what she could possibly mean with that.
Pushing the stroller around, Sasaki stopped by a park she was walking by. Since there didn't seem to be too many children, she walked over to a bench and unstrapped Hana from the car letting her wobbly run off to play around, ❝Be careful!❞ she cried out with her heart in her hands, the only kids there were on the other side of the park since they were much older than her infant. Sitting at the bench, she watched a couple of twins wobbly approach Hana who came running back to her mother, ❝It's okay, Hana. They want to play with you.❞ they seemed to be around her age.
That's when someone sat besides Sasaki, looking through what looked like a baby bag and Himari's eyes went wide and she quickly turned to watch Hana giggling and playing around with the twins.
❝Mari!?❞ the oh so familiar voice called out in shock. It had been too long since that day. Too much had happened, ❝I-Is that really you..?❞ her voice broke as Himari couldn't help herself but to look into those brown eyes. She hadn't changed a thing.
❝Seulgi...❞
❝W-When did you get back..? W-Why didn't you tell me..?❞ she asked, her voice low as she bit back the tears that flooded her vision.
❝Yesterday... Y-You broke up with me remember..?❞
Two years ago
Her phone dinged, indicating a text had been received and a smile quickly formed across the brunette's lips only to be replaced by a hurt expression as tears swarmed her eyes.
[From Bear🐻] I can't do this anymore... I'm sorry...
[From Bear🐻] I love you.
[From Bear🐻] But I can't live like this...
Too hurt, Sasaki threw her phone across the room with a scream. It hurt too much. For the next few weeks, she wouldn't even bother to eat. She just laid there, sulking into her bed.
And it took her a long time to pull herself together and go back to work, and it took her boss a lot more work to help her get through the heartbreak.
❝I- Mari... You know neither of us could keep living like that...❞
❝Do you know how long it took me to get back from that..? It took me months. I didn't want to do anything. I kept thinking "what if she hates me now?" "Did she really mean those three words?" "When did it go wrong? When did I do something wrong?" "It's my fault" "You deserve it". But I never got to know... Because all you said was you loved me and yet you left me.❞ her voice was low, hoarse from crying. ❝But I'm the stupid one here... because even after two years I look at you the same way I did when we were together. Because no matter how long it has been. You're still the one holding my heart.❞
Seulgi found herself speechless, unaware of what to say. She had never gotten over her herself, but she had to keep pushing through regardless.
Sasaki wiped her tears as Hana ran up to her holding the twins hands, all of them giggling.
❝Mama! Mama! Fwiends!❞ she babbled out. Seulgi's eyes went wide.
❝She- She looks just like you... I-❞ Seulgi stuttered out wiping her own tears.
❝Mama! Hana fwiend!❞ the little girl said with the brightest of smiles.
You have your mother's smile... Sasaki thought to herself.
❝We should get goi-❞
❝NO! Fwiends!❞ Hana yelled, throwing a tantrum before running off and the twins following her. Both Seulgi and Mari stood there with widened eyes.
❝I-❞ Hana had never thrown a tantrum before. She was always well behaved and always so shy and quiet. It had Sasaki beyond shock.
❝Mari...❞ Seulgi's voice called softly as Himari sat back down with the shock, ❝Who is he..?❞
❝None of your business. But fyi, like I told you. You're the one who holds my heart. I had Hana by myself.❞ she said, looking at her right in the eyes before looking away and down at her lap, ❝But had kids of your own, I hope you're happy.. I really do.❞
❝I'm not-❞
She started, but Mari was already walking over to scoop Hana up who began to kick and throw tantrums in her mother's arms.
❝Hana! Stop! I'm gonna drop you!❞ she cried out carrying her to the stroller.
❝No! Mama! Seulgi! Fwiends!❞ she cried kicking and hitting her mother and her eyes went wide.
❝Did she just-❞ Seulgi started, not knowing what to think of it.
❝It is not what you think.. Solar mentioned you yesterday at lunch and she started saying your name... Not that you would care anyways.❞ she coldly said, her voice sounded so hurt as she strapped her daughter in the stroller who threw a tantrum.
❝Seulgi! Fwiends!❞ the infant cried pointing at Seulgi herself who had the twins next to her now.
❝H-How-❞ Sasaki stuttered out frozen in place. This couldn't be happening. Seulgi seemed just as shocked sitting there blinking at the infant who freed herself and attached herself to the unknown woman. Unknown to her, that is.
❝Hana, Ally's waiting for us.❞ she tried but the kid didn't seem to budge from Seulgi's leg.
❝Sweetie.. you have to go with your mama...❞ Seulgi tried but the infant took hold of one of Seulgi's fingers trying to pull her up to go with them.
Why did you have to be such a cute bear..? Himari sighed watching as Hana attempted to drag her and Seulgi seemed to compell to her wishes.
❝You- You still think I'm cute..?❞ Seulgi had frozen in her tracks and her words made Sasaki freeze too. Had she thought out loud? Had those words truly left her mouth? How could she be so stupid? ❝I think we should talk... Straighten things out between us...❞
Yeah, straighten isn't the best choice of words... We both know there's nothing straight about neither of us... Himari's eyes widened watching as a pink shade coated Seulgi's cheeks. Cute...
She would go back to her in a heartbeat... And everything would be different. She'd stay. As long as she got to keep her, she'd stay. She'd find another job. But she isn't a homewrecker, she couldn't. She wouldn't even dare to try to get her back. She has a family now, and she? She wasn't part of it. And she will never be.
❝There's nothing I have to say to you. Just- Be happy for me, will you?❞ she collected Hana, setting her on her hip and this time she didn't try to get away, she blinked up at her mother with teary eyes.
❝S-Seulgi bad? Fwiends bad?❞ the little kid babbled trying to understand why her mother seemed to want to walk away from them.
❝No, honey. Your friends aren't bad... They have a wonderful mama. Ally is waiting for us, that's all. The infant nodded then pointing at the stroller Mari pushed with her free hand. She sighed and sat her down, securing her daughter with the straps of the stroller.
I'm sorry Seulgi-ah... I love you... But I can't have you.
With tearstained cheeks, the two girls got back to Min's place and Ji-eun came rushing to the front door with a smile that instantly disappeared watch both the infant and her mother's tearstained cheeks.
❝Wha-What happened!?❞ she exclaimed out of concern. What could have possibly made her cry- No way... She couldn't have.. no, that's impossible. What are the chances..? Ji-eun thought to herself before rushing them into the living room where Changbin sat. ❝Jagi, could you please watch over Hana for a few?❞ once he agreed, she took Sasaki's wrist and dragged her towards her room upstairs making her stumbled all the way there.
❝Yah! Are you out of your mind!?❞ she grumbled freeing herself from Min's hold, rubbing her wrist, ❝Aish...❞
❝You saw her, didn't you?❞ she went straight to the point. Catching her off guard with that question, Sasaki lost balance, stumbling back as she fell into Ji-eun's bed. ❝Oh my God! You did! What happened!? Are those happy or sad tears!?❞
❝... Do I look happy to you? Tsk. What kind of question is that? It's been too long.❞
❝So? You love her, don't you?❞ Ji-eun asked with a tilted head, unsure of what seemed to be the problem.
❝So? It doesn't change anything. She broke up with me. To start a family. With someone else.❞ her hands clutched into fists as she clenched her jaw. As much as she wanted to be happy for her, her heart still ached. She was jealous. She wanted to marry her back then.
Three years ago, South Korea
❝Promise?❞
❝Promise.❞
Her fingers brushed through the beautiful brunette locks of her girlfriend's. She hadn't felt this at peace since her childhood when money wouldn't even cross her mind.
"I will marry you someday." Mari thought to herself as she looked down, gazing into her girlfriend's brown orbs. Everything about her was just so perfect.
❝Jagi? What are you thinking about?❞ she asked poking her nose as she stared up at her, her head on Sasaki's legs.
❝Hm? Oh, nothing. Just of how beautiful my girl is.❞ she said with a tender smile and Seulgi's cheeks were coated by a bright shade of pink.
She couldn't think of Seulgi laying with someone else without it making her want to punch them. But she would never do that to her. Seulgi didn't deserve that, no matter how much it had broken her.
Meanwhile at Kang's household, Seulgi had gotten home with the twins, tearstained cheeks on the three of them. The second her husband appeared, she quickly tried to wipe their tears as well as their own. But it was too late and he had seen them already, clutching his hands into balls.
❝Su-ryeon, Seok-hun.. go play.❞ his voice hoarse with anger as he pointed at the door of their playroom and the two infants nodded before wobbly running into the room. With the baby monitor on, he closed the door and stormed towards Seulgi who immediately flinched, closing her eyes ready for the impact.
He took a tight grip around her wrist before dragging her upstairs to their shared bedroom, ❝O-Ow! Y-You're hurting me!❞ and he smirked at that.
❝WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. THEM!?❞ he yelled at her, slapping her between every word and tears quickly swarmed her eyes yet again.
❝I-I didn't d-do anything! I-I swear! I-I took them t-to the park and they met a li-little girl but the other mother had to lea-eave.❞ she cried out, trying to explain herself only to get a punch to her stomach. She fell onto the floor coughing up blood as she held onto her stomach.
❝Shut up! I should have taken them from you! You. Are. An. Awful. Mother.❞ he spit it out at her, kicking her yet again, he knew what those words did to her and it made him smirk.
She was silent, a few whimpers accidentally escaping her as he kicked her again before yanking her up from the floor, ❝Do what you do best and stay. in. your. place.❞ he retorted, throwing her to the wall and a loud whimper escaped her lips before she passed out, falling unconscious to the floor.
He smirked , picking her up and laying her on the bed before going back downstairs and into the playroom.
❝Appa!❞ the little boy and girl stood up excitedly, oh he was so good at hiding his wrongdoings. ❝Mama?❞ Su-ryeon asked looking up at him with a tilted head.
❝Don't worry, mama needed to get some rest, okay? Shhh.❞ he softly spoke, ❝What happened today? Why were you crying?❞
❝Fwiend had to weave...❞ they pouted looking down at the colourful floor.
❝Oh.. did mama tell you to say that?❞ he asked with his jaw clenched and both the little boy and girl shook their head no.
❝No, mama sad too.❞ Seok-hun tried explaining and the father nodded.
❝You don't know that... She could have decided to be a mother the same way you did.❞ Ji-eun suggested.
❝I saw the wedding ring on her finger, Ji-eun. I'm not stupid. Do you see anything like that in my hands?❞ she rose both her hands to show her before sighing and flopping down on the bed facing the ceiling making Ji-eun sit next to her with a sigh.
❝If that's the case... You need to let her go, Mari...❞
❝Do you think I haven't tried!? But everything reminds me of her. Here, in Japan, every minimal think remains me of her. It doesn't matter where I look, she's everywhere in my mind.❞ Sasaki sighed, wiping the new tears that had rolled down the sides of her face. ❝Can you watch over Hana for a while? I need to get some air...❞ she stood up and Ji-eun nodded.
She walked downstairs with Ji-eun, Changbin had Hana sitting on his lap as he played with her to keep her entertained, ❝I think he's more than happy to.❞ Ji-eun chuckled softly trying to cheer the older female who simply nodded, making her way out of the house with her phone. She put her earbuds and opened Spotify, playing Fine by Taeyeon as she started walking around without any destiny when she bumped into someone.
❝M-Mari..?❞ a weak, yet familiar voice called her name.
❝Y-You aga- What happened to your face!?❞ she cried out as her hand reached for Seulgi's bruised face ever so gently.
❝N-Nothing. I-I just mistepped and fell of the stairs at home.❞ the way her eyes adverted immediately to the floor, made Sasaki's blood boil.
❝Stop lying to me. Who did this to you!?❞
❞...My husband...❞ she mumbled under her breath and Sasaki froze in place.
❝You left me for someone like this!?❞ Mari took Seulgi's hand carefully before dragging her to Ji-eun's house.
❝You don't understand... It wasn't like that... H-He was threatening to find you and hurt you if I didn't!❞ she cried out following behind her.
❝W-What..? Why didn't you tell me!? I-I would've come right away... I would've kick his ass!❞
❝That's exactly why I didn't tell you... To keep you safe.❞ she let a few tears escape her eyes, sighing as they entered the house so abruptly it startled everyone but Hana who slept upstairs.
Sasaki didn't say a word to Ji-eun as she dragged Seulgi to the nearest bathroom, ❝God damnit, Ally! Where do you keep your first aid kit?❞ she muttered under her breath looking for one until she finally got her hands on one and quickly opened it.
❝Stay still.❞ the brunette said, pouring some chlorhexidine into a cotton swab before gently cleaning the open cut on her lip and Seulgi whimpered in pain.
❝What the hell just happened?❞ Min asked blinking in confusion as she stared out the living room door after watching Sasaki drag a bruised Seulgi inside.
❝I don't know! She left basically on the verge of tears and next thing I know she's walking inside looking pissed.❞ He shrugged, Hana sitting in his lap as the three of them looked at the door confused, Hana with her head tilted trying to understand why both adults stared that way.
❝How could you let him do this to you?❞ she asked, her fist clutching at the thought of him harming Seulgi, who flinched whimpering. Making Sasaki to step back in shock, she couldn't have thought she'd hit her right? ❝I-❞
❝Mari, I-❞ she couldn't finish her sentence as Sasaki walked out of the bathroom. Seulgi slowly walked out of the bathroom, only to find Himari standing there with tears in her eyes. ❝It's not like that, I swear... I would never once think you'd hurt me...❞ her arms wrapped tightly, ❝It's just- It's something my body does automatically... I guess it's somehow a defence mechanism... I-I'm sorry. I-I'm brok-mmmpf!❞
Sasaki couldn't take this any longer so she smashed her lips against hers, shutting her up. ❝Come to Japan with me.❞
❝What about the tw-❞
❝Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it. I'll bring them back to you, safe and sound. I promise. I won't let him take them. But you can't go back to that place. He'll kill you if he finds out.❞ Sasaki stated and Seulgi nodded with tearful eyes, ❝Where do you live?❞ With worried eyes, Seulgi hesitantly gave her the address. With a kiss pressed to Seulgi's forehead, Sasaki walked into the living room and dragged Ji-eun out of there before she spoke, ❝Where's your gun?❞ she asked making Ally's eyes widening in shock, worry and surprise.
❝W-Why? What happened!?❞
❝There's someone I need to get, but I need protection just in case something goes wrong.❞
❝What are you gonna do?❞ Min asked worriedly, afraid of what she might do.
❝I'm gonna get Su-ryeon and Seok-hun from their abusive father.❞ she spoke with such certainty. She had set her mind to it, there was no stopping her now.
❝Let me help you.❞ Ji-eun spoke but Sasaki quickly shook her head no.
❝No matter how things go, I will not be dragging any of you into this.❞ she stated and Ji-eun nodded leading her her safer, picking the gun out.
❝Thank you. If something goes wrong, don't let him hurt them.❞ she said putting the gun behind her back, stuck between her back and the waistband of the pants before pulling her shirt down to cover the rest of it. And with that said and done, Himari took off, driving off to the address Seulgi had given her.
She stopped by the front door with a smile, knocking on the door when a man opened the door, ❝Who are you? And why are you at my doorstep?❞ he asked with a wrinkled brow.
❝Oh my, how rude of me. I'm Seo-jin. I believe your wife must have forgotten to tell you, she called me to take the kids. She's planning quite a beautiful surprise for you.❞ with that said, she tried to act as kind as she could with a bright smile on her lips.
❝Oh, is that so? She isn't one to pull surprises.❞
Her eyes opened wide, ❝Omo, have I gotten the wrong house? Is this not Ms. Kang Seulgi's home? My deepest apologies.❞ she had no other choice at this point.
❝No, no. You got the right house. I will go collect them.❞ he retorted, walking off to bring the twins, ❝Su-reon, Seok-hun please behave at her care.❞ he said now kneeled in front of his undeserved children. They deserved a much better father.
❝We'll have lots of fun. Enjoy your alone time with your wife, sir.❞ she smiled taking each of the twin's little hands into hers before the man closed the door and she picked the two infants up, setting each on her hips before walking home. Once they were a decent distance from the house, she spoke to the two little kids, ❝Who is excited to go play with your friend?❞ and with that said the twins clapped excitedly their tiny little hands.
Finally at Ji-eun's house, she invited herself in with the spare key they lended her. ❝Why don't you call mommy?❞ the twins seemed confused, tilting their head as they looked at her.
❝Mama?❞ Su-ryeon asked confused and Seulgi showed up the second she heard her daughter's voice. She ran up to them, hugging the three of them.
❝Thank you... For bringing them back to me.❞ Seulgi whispered.
❝Hey, I'll do anything for you. Besides, I'm a mother too. I know how it's like.❞ Sasaki said with a tender smile as Seulgi took the twins into her arms.
❝Fwiends!❞ Hana cried out toddling into the hall making the two adults laugh and Seulgi set her children down.
❝Why don't you go play in the living room with Su-ryeon and Seok-hun, honey?❞ she softly suggested and the little infant took the twins hands and wobbly dragged them to the living room.
❝Do you think they'll be okay..?❞ Kang nervously asked, Sasaki reached for her hands, taking both into her own.
❝They already get along well, I'm sure they'll be okay.❞ she spoke with a reassuring smile as her thumbs rubbed gentle circles on the back of Seulgi's hands. ❝We'll leave the day after tomorrow. There's still 4 other girls I'd like to see before we leave.❞
❝Oh?❞ she asked confused, looking up.
❝The rest of Red Velvet, pabo.❝ she giggled with a soft shake of her head.
❝Oh, I should say goodbye as well... I haven't seen them in too long and now I'm leaving. They deserve an explanation.❞ Seulgi looked down with a saddened look.
❝You haven't seen them- That son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill him!❞ Sasaki hissed, ❝He didn't even let you keep your friends!? Who did he think he was?❞
Seulgi looked down and Mari sighed out of frustration, ❝Let's forget about him. I'm happy now.❞ with that said, Sasaki nodded wrapping her arm around Seulgi's waist before leading her into the living room where they sat down on the couch, next to Ji-eun and her husband while the three infants played on the little playground.
The two couples decided to watch a horror movie, each of their cuddling their respective partner. Oh how she had missed holding Seulgi in her arms. Eventually everyone headed to bed, Seulgi laid in bed watching as Mari put Hana to sleep, the twins already asleep in the bed with their mother.
❝Hey...❞ a pair of arms wrapped around Mari from behind, only then had she realized Seulgi had gotten off the bed, ❝Do you want me to try?❞ she whisper-asked.
❝You don't have to. It's o-❞ before she could finish, Seulgi took Hana who giggled and cooed up at her before yawning.
❝Fighing off sleep, huh? You tiny little girl, you need to sleep so you can grow big.❞ she softly spoke, rocking her in her arms. Mari watched in awe as she sat on the edge of the bed. Hana's Coors sushed as she snuggle her tiny body closer to Seulgi's before sucking on her little thumb as she drifted off to sleep.
❝How did you..?❞ Sasaki asked, mouth agape in shock.
❝Hm, secret.❞ she giggled, setting Hana down in the crib and climbing into bed, ❝Goodnight.❞ she smiled, pulling the covers over them and trying to fall asleep.
❝Goodnight.❞ Sasaki fell asleep almost immediately after.
Morning came and Sasaki woke up with the sun shining through the window, groaning she rose to her feet and placed her pillow in her place so the two s wouldn't roll over before walking downstairs and into the kitchen only to find Changbin there.
❝Morning.❞ Sasaki spoke from the doorway, ❝I'm guessing Ji-eun's still asleep?❞ she asked in an affirmation tone.
❝Good morning.❞ he greeted before chuckling, ❝You guessed it right. But the kids are in the living room watching TV.❞
❝Early birds, I see. Hana should be up soon too.❞ she chuckled, walking up to him, ❝Is there anything I can do to help?❞ she asked looking at the different ingredients and utensils displayed on the counter as he made something she couldn't quite figure out what for breakfast.
❝It's all good, don't worry.❞ he offered a smile and she nodded only for a sleepy Seulgi to join them in the kitchen with Su-ryeon and Hana on each side of her hips.
❝Morning, sunshine.❞ Himari softly spoke with a smile as she walked up to her, ❝Where's Seok-hun?❞
❝In the crib. He was still asleep unlike these two.❞ she said with a groggy chuckle escaping her lips.
❝Do you want me to take them so you can get some more sleep?❞ the taller female offered but the older seemed to deny, ❝Alright. We should probably go take care of inviting the girls for a lunch out.❞
❝I can't call them...❞ Seulgi sighed with saddened eyes making Sasaki frown in confusion but decided not to make questions.
❝Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. Where should we go out for lunch tho?❞ she asked offering her a tender smile caressing her cheek.
❝We could go to that new restaurant that just opened about a week ago?❞ Kang suggested and she nodded, reaching for her phone, ❝I'll call them and let them know as soon as I feed Hana.❞ she said taking Hana who had began to fuss.
Sasaki walked to the bathroom with Hana, who instantly latched herself to her mother's chest. She was starving since for once she had slept through the entire night.
❝Omo, someone was starving.❞ she chuckled, surprised.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
❝Yes?❞
❝Mari, I've already invited the girls. Take care of inviting Red Velvet.❞ Ji-eun informed from the other side of the door.
❝Alright! Thank you! I will do so.❞ the older female spoke covering herself as Hana let go and burped her before walking out of the bathroom and towards the living room, setting her daughter in the little playmatt.
Reaching for her phone, she looked through her contacts calling the first Red Velvet member she found.
❝Mari?❞ a soft voice asked in a confused tone on the other side of the line.
❝Joo-hyun, hi! It's so nice to talk to you again, it's been a while!❞ Sasaki spoke, happy to hear her voice after a while. It had been nearly a year since the last time she had gotten the chance to call her, ❝I'm in Korea for a few more hours, I was wondering if you and the rest of the Red Velvet girls would like to meet us for lunch today?❞
❝I must say, it's nice to hear about you- Wait, for real? I would love to! But I don't live with the girls anymore.❞
❝Oh, I figured. But don't worry about that, I'll give them a call myself.❞
❝But wait, who's us?❞
❝Oh you know, us the Cherry girls.❞
❝Alright, alright! I can't wait to see you guys. Anyways, I'll let you get to do you, text me the address.❞
❝Will do! See you later!❞ with that said, she ended the call before looking for the next to show up in her contacts.
❝Soo-young! Hi! It's been a while.❞ Sasaki greeted the second the other tall female answered.
❝Mari? Is it really you?❞
❝Nah, it's Jesus.❞ she teased, chuckling softly.
❝How have you been? It has indeed been a while!❞
❝Mhm, which is why I'm calling. I'm in Korea for a couple more hours and I was wondering if you and the rest of the Red Velvet girls would like to join us for lunch?❞
❝Wait, you're in Korea!? Of course! Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.❞
❝Alright! I'll see you later then!❞ and another call came to an end and it wasn't even a minute later before Sasaki was on the phone with Wendy, who quickly agreed and then it was Yeri.
Time flew by quickly and now everyone sat at the restaurant table, the husbands had stayed home with the kids for the girls' date and the only one whose partner came along was Sasaki's since she was a member of Red Velvet too.
Halfway through, Seulgi excused herself to use the bathroom and had yet not returned and it started worrying everyone.
❝Hey, I'm gonna go check on Seulgi. I'll be right back.❞ Sasaki said and Irene got up too, going with her.
❝Seulgi-ah!❞ Irene called as soon as they walked in but there seemed to be no response, ❝Yah! Seulgi-ah! This isn't funny!❞
❝Seulbear, baby?❞ She looked everywhere but she seemed to be nowhere.
❝Wait, you two are together? I thought she got married and that's why she left us without saying a word!❞ Bae frowned in confusion, looking around.
❝Long story... But it's hers to tell you...❞ Himari sighed frustrated just as they came out of the bathroom empty handed. There seemed to be no signs of Seulgi and that's when Sasaki's eyes caught something just outside the restaurant. A mad dragging a girl into a black van. She sprinted, running as fast as she could but she was too late, ❝Fuck, fuck, FUCK!❞
She rushed back inside, picking her phone and calling 112. There was no way she'd let him hurt her again.
❝Hello? Yes. There's been a kidnapping of a 29 years old woman! Her name is Kang Seulgi! Her husband's going to kill her if we don't find her soon!❞ she cried out into the phone, her whole body trembling. Both of fear and anger. Everyone stood up, eyes widened, while Himari spoke on the phone with the police. ❝I saw the van's licence plate, it's...❞
Once the call had ended, Sasaki grabbed her things. ❝You girls should go home. It's safer.❞ she said to the Red Velvet girls who nodded softly.
❝Please find her...❞ Irene said as she collected her things.
❝Ally, please go home and make sure Su-ryeon and Seok-hun are safe and sound. Don't let him take them. I have to go to the police station.❞ she asked and she nodded softly.
❝I'll go with you.❞ both Solar and Su-jin said, gathering their things.
❝I'll go try to track the car that took her.❞ Ae-ra spoke as well, gathering her things.
Everyone parted ways, Red Velvet went home and so did Ji-eun while Ae-ra went to the company she works for to ask for help tracking the car and the three remaining girls drove to the police station to make their statements, of course, Sasaki had to tell them the truth about what happened to Seulgi during these last few years before they got there.
❝Jagi? Where are the twins?❞ Ally asked the second she burst into the house.
❝In here, honey.❞ he answered rather confused and Ally ran into the living room the second she locked the door and windows.
❝Good. I have to keep them safe while Mari is at the police station. Seulgi was taken.❞ she explained softly sitting next to the playmat the three infants played. ❝Where are Miyoung and DaeSeong?❞
❝They're in their rooms.❞ he answered and she nodded softly.
Ae-ra was already inside the building, talking to her boss about the situation at hand. Of course that, as soon as it was explained she was given authorisation to use whatever device and available team needed to locate them. And once she had their location, she texted it to Sasaki.
❝Ae–ra found her. I have to go.❞ Sasaki said to the two girls with her but both of them got up.
❝You’re not going alone. Are you out of your mind? Do you not remember what happened three years ago?❞ Su-jin stated, not giving her a choice and Kyong nodded in agreement.
❝I— Fine... I need to drop by Ji-eun's to get a weapon.❞ she sighed in defeat before stating.
❝We’re going to stop at my place, I have an idea.❞ Kyong said as everyone hopped into the car and took off towards her place. Once there, she led them to the weaponry room previously locked, letting them pick their weapon while she stuffed hers into the waistband of her cargo pants.
As the three were ready, they got into the car and Sasaki was the one driving this time. Speeding off to the address Ae-ra had sent her. Parking far enough not to be noticed, they hopped off the car and sneaked their way into the abandoned warehouse. They looked around, staying close to each other.
❝Looking for something?❞ a male voice spoke from behind them and the three turned around in an instant.
❝Seulgi!❞ Himari cried out, the older female was tied,  with a cloth over her mouth as he held her with a knife pressed to her neck.
❝One more move and she's dead.❞ he retorted with a sickening smirk on his lips. Those words were enough to make Sasaki drop her gun and raise her arms, there was no way she'd risk it.
❝If you wanna hurt anyone.. just hurt me. But let her go...❞ she said looking at him, trying to come up with a plan and that's when something happened that shocked all of them, Ae-ra had sneaked behind him and hit him with the handle of her gun hard enough to knock him out and in a second Sasaki had ran to Seulgi, untying her and removing the cloth that covered her mouth, ❝I’m so sorry.❞ Himari said, pulling her into a tight, protective embrace, ❝I was so scared...❞ a relieved sigh escaped along with the soft tears.
❝Are you crazy?❞ Seulgi finally spoke making Sasaki's eyes widen, ❝You could have gotten yourself killed, pabo!❞ and before Sasaki could answer, she was yanked into another embrace as the sirens made themselves heard from afar, signaling that the cops were on the scene.
❝I’ll need you girls to make a statement at the station as soon as possible. And miss, you should go to the hospital.❞ a cop said while another cuffed the unconscious man that began to wake up.
❝Yah! Get off of me!❞ he struggled, trying to free himself.
❝You are under arrest for abduction and domestic violence. Everything you say will be used in court.❞ the cop spoke reading him his rights as he pulled him to his feet.
❝What nonsense is this? This girls set me up.❞ he tried but the officer remained silent, dragging him outside and into the backseat of the car.
❝Thank you for your quick work locating the victim’s whereabouts. It is thanks to you that she's safe and sound.❞ the officer said with a bow and all the girls bowed as well.
❝Come on, I'm gonna take you to the hospital.❞ Sasaki said, wrapping her arm around Seulgi's waist who nodded and walked outside with Ae-ra, Su-jin and Kyong in front of the two. This time Kyong Soon and Su-jin went into Ae-ra’s car, leaving Himari and Seulgi the car they had previously used. Sasaki hopped into the driver's seat after helping Kang into the passenger's seat and taking off to, not the nearest, but best hospital she knew in South Korea.
❝That was a close call.❞ Kyong Soon sighed relieved as she rested back onto the backseat.
❝Don’t tell me. For a moment, I thought we were about to lose both Seulgi and Mari.❞ Su-jin spoke after before turning to Ae-ra, who was focused on the road as she drove, ❝Thank you for coming. If it wasn't for you, they wouldn't be on their way to the hospital by themselves.❞
❝Are you still sure we shouldn't have gone with them? One of us at least?❞ the maknae asked, she seemed rather worried.
❝I’m sure. They need some time for themsel—❞ Su-jin was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Ae-ra’s, who pressed the answer button on her car's little screen and surely soon enough Ji-eun's voice was made heard in the car.
❝Ally.. Ally!❞ Su-jin tried but it seemed useless as the female on the other end of the line spoke a little too fast.
❝YAH! ALLY!❞ Kim exclaimed out, shutting Ji-eun up. ❝Breathe woman! They're safe and sound. Mari's taking Seul to the hospital just for safety. He has been arrested.❞ she sighed as Ji-eun now spoke normally.
❝Oh– That's good!❞ she said and you could hear the relieved sigh that escaped her in the car, ❝I’ll call Mar—❞
❝NO!❞ the three girls cried out, startling the poor female and making her drop the phone.
❝Geez. Alright, alright. Why not?❞ she groaned with a roll of her eyes the others luckily couldn't see.
❝Because we didn't go with them so they could have some privacy, don't you dare ruin our plan.❞ Su-jin retorted.
Meanwhile with Sasaki and Kang, the two seemed silent until Seulgi spoke.
❝Thank you...❞ it was as low as a murmured secret someone didn't want you to hear, but she meant it.
❝For what?❞ Sasaki wrinkled a brow in confusion as her eyes took a quick glance at the girl sitting next to her before focusing back on the road.
❝Risking your life for me.❞ Seulgi said, staring out the window.
❝Yah! You know I'd do it again in an heartbeat.❞ she stated, shrugging at the end. She didn't see why she was being thanked.
❝I don't want you to...❞ Kang mumbled, and Himari simply went silent. ❝I would never forgive myself if I had been the reason you got hurt...❞ she completed after a while.
❝I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I did nothing to save you.❞ the taller female spoke, her hand reaching over to hold Seulgi's who stayed silent, staring out the window until Mari parked, hopping off and helping Seulgi out.
At the hospital, Seulgi went through different kinds of exams and tests just to make sure she was alright, once it was made sure she wasn't in any danger she was released and soon Sasaki was driving the two back to Ji-eun's place.
❝I wanna go back to Red Velvet...❞ Seulgi suddenly blurted out.
❝W–What do you mean?❞ Sasaki asked confused, looking at the road.
❝I miss performing...❞ she admitted, looking down at her lap.
❝I can't stop you from doing what you love...❞ she said softly pulling into the driveway, ❝If that's what you want then we'll manage. I'll quit my job in Japan and look for one here. But I'm not leaving you again.❞
❝I’ll go with you. To Japan. For a while until you quit. I'll help you with whatever you need until we come back.❞ she said with a smile, looking up at Himari who nodded offering a smile of her own.
It had been five years since they had gotten back together, a lot had happened but the two remained together. In fact, they had a beautiful wedding three years ago and lived in a rather big house in South Korea with their kids. Hana, Su-ryeon and Seok-hun were now six years old, attending the best primary school in Korea. Seulgi had returned to Red Velvet surprising all the ReVeLuvs and Himari, well Himari became a dance teacher at SM Entertainment, reaching young trainees.
And as far as it goes, they've had a happy life together.
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