#i haven't got inpiration..

[gojosattoru]

hello everyone, hope you are doing alright! i'm doing this post to say that i won't be online for some time... i think my depression has come back and since this sunday my health hasn't been good.. i've been feeling very down, always with emotional crisis, crying and with no energy to do anything.. so i will be on semi-hiatus for a some time. only coming to queue some stuff.. i'm so sorry for being so absent guys.. wish you the best! thank you!

[kenazraventooth]

I might have to have this out out side of tags cuz its kiiinda long :")

Tried melatonin. i need a lot for it to help, and when i wake up, i dont fully wake up. So its out the window.

Weed helps a little better, but as soon as it wears off, i wake up. It's also kind of expensive, so it's out.

Now it switch between 3 things. Sometimes, i listen to audiobooks because i have been doing that since i was a kid. I just make sure to fully listen before i fall asleep to them. Not that it makes me sleepy. i'll just be a sad bean if i missed something to a new story.

Not so often mostly because i get bored, which means i stay awake, is using the app Sleep Sounds - relaxing sounds by Craftsman Spirit. It is free. Allows you to mix and match most of the sounds they have. Runs forever if need be. I add this because one time mixing this with a podcast wasn't too bad. I just dont want to run a tablet and a phone to sleep, or two apps (if i could) on my phone.

Now for the podcasts.

Listen To Sleep - Quiet Bedtime Stories & Meditations by Erik Ireland

I love this dudes voice, but I had to stop listening to his podcast. His self done ads are much louder than his stories, and it woke me up more and more often. Theres also volume issues in his older epiodes, so whenever he played the background sounds, it was too quiet for me to hear. Waking me up because i always need sounds. Meditations did the same thing. Silence waking me up. For a bit, I had fixed it by just making my own playlist, but it had gotten crushed by the self-made ads. (Small edit because i forgot) there are some guest entires, and there is also really good. im a bit too lazy to find where to play this little nugget.

Again, I love how he reads stories, so i do suggest giving it a try. You might sleep better than I do.

Sound Sleep - Bedtime Stories & Guided Sleep Meditation - Time To Relax, Get Sleepy, & Fall Asleep by Adam Clairmont

I again love the voice this guy uses. I love the voice of other people who got brought in to read stories. Sadly, there are a lot of very long pauses of silence in the end that always woke me up, so again, I had to stop listening. I didn't continue to listen long enough to figure out why there were pauses like that because i was a little frustrated. Just trying to find something new to fall asleep to would work for me.

The one i listen to now (and admittly, i really really love these stories the most) is

Sleep and Sorcery | Folklore & Fantasy-Inspired Sleep Stories by Laurel Hostak

Form what I understand (sooo could be wrong this is why i should listen to explinations while half asleep if i am) these stories are actually written but Laurel herself. There are quotes, refences, and hints of inpirations for stuff like The Last Unicorn. I know there's more, but that's the only title that sticked to my head. She read well, and the meditation doesn't wake me up if i am already asleep for the next episode. My favorite episode from this podcast is The Unicorn's Blessing. I just love unicorns, and I found this to be very well written, sad, but in the end, so so joyful. There are times there is a bit of silence, and sometimes it does wake me but but it is nowhere near as long as what happened in the other two podcasts I listened to. Maybe it's for meditation maybe its not again. I only wake up because of the silence, not before it.

To anyone looking for sleepy podcasts. I hope you find something you like if you haven't already.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Could we maybe, once you got the time, energy and inpiration, get Jameson taking care of a sick allyn? 🥺 - theo-

Allyn's face is flushed, two red smears like paint that fade their freckles under the rush of blood. Jameson leans over them, dabbing with a cold wet washcloth at their forehead, cheekbones, jawline, down the sides of their throat.

They exhale, eyes closing with the momentary relief. "I feel so silly," They say, voice soft to avoid making their throat ache any worse, swallowing with difficulty around the swelling. "I hardly ever got sick before."

"You're not silly," Jameson answers, leaving the washcloth laid flat over their collarbone and the hint of their chest that peeks out from under the blankets. He shifts, sitting just at the edge of the bed so his knees can stay bent. His crutches are leaned against the wall, easy to grab onto at a moment's notice. "Getting sick happens. I get sick all the time."

"I didn't used to, before... Before my master died." Allyn sighs, wistful and sad, and Jameson watches them. The rain shower taste of their voice lingers on his tongue, not a good or bad taste, just an Allyn taste, through and through. Water and atmosphere, a hint of green. "He took care of my health, he took it very seriously."

Jameson quirks a cockeyed smile. "Yeah?"

"Yes." They sigh and close their eyes. Jameson watches their eyelashes, not quite resting against skin. "Every morning I took vitamins, five different ones. I had a toner for my skin, a serum, a moisturizer with sunscreen, my makeup... Every morning."

"Sounds like a lot of work. Nanda was just happy if I washed my face."

"I had to be perfect," Allyn sighs. "No flaws."

Jameson swallows, thinking of the scars on his face, his back, his thighs. His ruined knees and fingers. "We always have to look perfect," He whispers. "Or we're worthless. Just one more piece of fucking trash."

To his surprise, Allyn opens their gray-blue eyes and looks up at him, reaching out to take his hand in both of theirs. The heat of their palms eases some of the ache. "I had to be perfect," They say, voice low. "And he took care of me. Because I was perfect. But when I wasn't... He didn't care. You take care of me even when I'm not perfect."

"I don't know." Jameson looks away from the sincere intensity of their gaze, down at their hands holding his. "I can't even fucking take care of myself. I'm sure as fuck not perfect."

"You don't have to be, anymore. I don't have to be either." Allyn's smile, just at the edges of his vision, pulls his eyes back to their face. He finds himself smiling back. "I was perfect, but I wasn't happy. I didn't even know what happy was to know I wasn't. Now... I haven't washed my hair in two days and I haven't even tried to ask Jake to buy me serum and toner for my skin. I'm not perfect."

They pull his hand to their mouth and kiss his fingertips, one by one.

Jameson finds his mouth suddenly terribly dry. "Allyn-"

"I'm not perfect," They whisper. "But I'm so, so happy."

[connor-sent-by-cyberlife]

Thanks to all who supported my Convin Demon/Priest AU lately. Your positive feedback means so much to me, you've no idea! I know this sort of AU is kind of a very special niche interest, therefore I appreciate every single comment and reblog even more. Be sure I read all of your tags, always!

I felt so inpired by this AU that I actually wrote a little drabble about how it all began. I haven't really written anything in ages, so this is kind of a big deal for me, even though the drabble is less than 1000 words long.

I hope you like it! Let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in reading more.

Please keep in mind: This is not beta-read and English isn't my first language :P.

And at last: This AU wouldn't exist without @lemonowl900's amazing Convin Demon/Priest art which started it all.

----------------------

A 30 minutes walk from the house I lived in back then, hidden from and forgotten by the world between fir trees, the ruin of an ancient abbey could be found. High arches made of stone, broken in some places, but still strongly and proudly fighting their fight against time. It was a beautiful spot and when I look back it was the one where I felt the closest to God. When the sunrays found their way through the branches to shine through the remains of old ornaments carved by human hands so long ago, it was heavenly and peaceful, oh, so peaceful to just sit there. Sometimes I prayed, sometimes I got lost in thoughts. I spent hours and hours there all on my own, but never felt lonely a single second.I was at peace with myself and the world. On bad days though everything was different between these silent walls of stone. The things I longed to forget, the ones I tried to hide from myself so desperately came back to me then and loneliness crept under my skin like the cold on a winter's morning. And it was on one of those days when I first saw him...

I still remember the smell of the wet forest the rain of the past afternoon had left.

“Does God ever answer?” he asked curiously, his voice like honey on a tongue that had never tasted anything sweet before.

I had never met anyone during my stays at this long forgotten place. Fully immersed into my praying, searching forgiveness for my sinful thoughts, I almost jumped out of my skin. I got back on my feet - so fast I felt dizzy for a few seconds - and turned around myself two times trying to find the source of the voice. At first, I didn't trust my own eyes. I remember it was foggy that day and already starting to darken. And there was a shadow between the ancient pillars and the trunks of the trees, hard to distinguish from those until it started to walk towards me. Slowly, gracefully and threatening at the same time like a beautiful predator. All my survival instincts were on alert from one second to another and yet I didn't run away. I'm not sure if I was just unable to move or if it was a strange kind of curiosity, fascination even, that kept me there. He - it (I know while I write these sentences I will continue to switch between he and it when I talk about him, I was never able to grasp him completely) stepped out of the shadows, fully naked except for a maple leaf that covered its genitals, tall and lanky, head crowned by two big horns. A tail with an arrowhead-like ending moved like a hypnotizing snake behind its body. A creature I had feared all my life. A personification of evil already my strictly religious parents had warned me of when I was a little boy.

I wanted to ask who he was, what he was doing here, but I couldn't find my voice. And my heart was pounding so loudly, it would've probably swallowed any other sound anyway. The distance between the creature and me shrank since it continued walking towards me. I started to stumble backwards, until a solid wall stopped me. Trapped, I thought, feeling panic crawling up my throat. But as if it sensed my fear it suddenly stood still. It crooked its horned head and watched me attentively. I can't say how much time passed - me trying to find a way to win over the laws of physics and simply disappear through the stone and the...demon - even today I've difficulties to use this word - studying me as if I were a vulnerable and lost soul that deserved nothing but pity.

“Do not be afraid, mortal! I have not come to harm you.” his voice was so alluring that I wanted nothing but to believe his forked tongue.

Desperately, I fought to get my rapid breathing under control again, so I could eventually try to form some words. It took me an entire eternity - or at least it felt like that, until I managed to stutter a question.

“T-Then, then why did you come?”

Without warning his mouth turned into grin that made the blood in my veins freeze to ice. Devilish yet irresistible. It didn't took my fear away, far the opposite, but it somehow killed my flight instinct. I stopped trying to push the wall behind me away so I could run, when the creature started moving again. Slowly, its hands risen in a gesture commonly used to signalize defenselessness to allow me to lull myself into a false sense of security. And before I knew it the creature had cornered me between its arms against the cold stone behind me. Its eyes were black surrounded by an ominous red which made me think of blood. They looked into mine, directly to the bottom of my soul, digging for and finding all the sinful secrets I hid from the world. And I couldn't help but stare back, held captive, frozen in place, troubled by all the conflicting feelings that crashed down on me in this very moment. He bent his arms to lean even closer, until his mouth was right next to my ear. I could feel his hot breath against my skin, before he whispered the words that implied the promise of a forbidden sin.

“I have come to set you free, Gavin.”

(click for better quality)

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜᵒᶰᶰᵒʳ ᵇʸ ˡᵉˣᵃᵏᶤᶰᵉˢˢ ᵒᶰ ʳᵉᶰᵈᵉʳᵒˢᶤᵗʸ

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵍᵃᵛᶤᶰ ᵇʸ ʳᵉᵈᶻˢᵗᵘᵈᶤᵒ ᵒᶰ ᵈᵃᶻ³ᵈ

[bunny-minsungie]

Hello Bunny! (B/c I'm the only one who uses it) I'm fine with you not copy-pasting, no worries. I write too much anyways. I am definitely a bit of a Shakespeare addict, both sonnets and plays. I'm pretty sure I would have gone for regular English too had we done a HP project. DW is amazing, but I'm only on season 4 and I haven't had time to watch. So I can't really judge my favorite Doctor. Have you seen The Crown on Netflix? That's my main experience with Matt Smith and I love it... ~Aimée.

Hi hello there :D Ohh no I haven’t, but maybe I should?? I’m currently watching Gilmore Girls, but I was looking to diversify my binge watching, so I’ll try that!! DW is.. good? Not memorable, for the most part, but there are those key, genius episodes for sure!! Ohh you should’ve played question bowl like haha maybe yu would’ve been good?? Don’t you think the shirt Jisung was wearing ressembled a robe?? He gave me such a HP vibe I can’t even- I’m not caught up with things (and will probs never be), so idk ^^’ What’s your favorite moment? Haha good luck with physics ♥

I’m glad you like my writing ;-; May inpiration and words be with you. How long are you stories? I can’t write that much per scene tbh. Aww you closet sounds nice, I want it :(( I bought a red shirt in a thrift shop a bit ago bc it reminded me of Jisungie ^^’ Aww I’m glad you got quality Chan content!! Imma be in the back not knowing what’s up with anything. ANYHOW my weeked was decent? I slept and listened to a super good audiobook! Wbu?

[neilsdimples]

*tap dancin w/ jazz hands* I HOPE YOU HAD FUN WITH YOUR NEPHEW UNLESS YOU HAVENT YET HAD FRIDAY AND IF THATS THE CASE I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN WITH HIM? I actually don't know how time works. very bad at rememberin what time it is, or what time I need to be at important places. once I was 2 hours late to work, and another time (diff job) I was late 4 HOURS and somehow haven't been fired. anyway, I got some weird inspiration for writing and also felt like conversing with you :D how are you?

hello! they ended up not coming over so i won’t get to see the godson for a while :(  i spent the day carving a pumpkin instead (yes, 3 days late....)

i’m glad u got inpiration for writing! i need to start writing again too, i’ve got two secret santa fics to write in about...a month (which isn’t that bad actually, once i get started and move my butt) and then also need to work on TDICT urgently

i had a super fun halloween party with a friend and a lazy hangout the day after, and i’ve been mostly lazy for the rest ^-^