#i haven't done this in SO long
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I had forgotten how much fun it is to have characters.
They can have personalities! That influence the way they react to certain plot points! And they can interact with each other! And have chemistry! And do silly things! It's wonderful.
#adventures in writing#i've been trying to keep my focus on the arateph rapunzel#was trying to work out opening scene plot points#and then it suddenly hit me: what if i stop puzzling over logic#and give these characters personality?#it helps SO MUCH to try to make it a comedy too#for some reason that helps me give them more interesting personalities and not take this so seriously#i haven't done this in SO long#for a while my focus for my stories was plot#then it turned to a focus on writing style#i'd like to shift to a character focus#seems like the next logical skill to develop
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If anyone thought I was joking about the eating cereal out of a mug thing well
Here's your evidence :)
#i haven't done this in so long#literally saw we had cereal and dropped all over breakfast plans for this#lmao#pop rox talks#/lh
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I just read a whole frickin book on the first day of the year I feel unstoppable
#it was like 300 pages too#I haven't done this in so long#feels good to do this again#feel like me again for the first time in ages#book lover#reading marathon#reading#New Years 2023#books
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some stuff from a Dungeon Meshi themed figure drawing session with Zeetstudio!! super fun stuff :3
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#marcille donato#i haven't done a zeet session in soooo long... love doing costumed figures and the poses this time were so good 😌#magpie draws
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accidentally took my morning meds instead lf my night meds and now i cant sleep. i have an intangible amount of sillyness coursing through my veins.
#medicine tw#tw meds mention#tw medicine#i haven't done this in so long#but oops 😭#i don't understand HOW i manage to do it#shark smuggler alert 🚨
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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meow
#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cult of the lamb#my art#digital#these are so lazy lmao i still wanted to put in a little more effort#i haven't done full digital illustrations in so long help
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The standard @drawfee experience ❤️
Saw that meme going around from Myszka on Twitter and knew that I had to render the gremlin crew. Original under the cut
#I haven't done any caricature work in a long time and I am unreasonably proud of how recognizable everyone looks here haha#reminder that this is still kinda a Drawfee blog too lmao#this was so fun to draw guys I think I enjoy making art again? been having a like 6 month streak this feels amazing#drawfee#drawfee show#drawfee fanart#jacob andrews#julia lepetit#nathan yaffe#karina farek#drawfee art#silly#meme#shitpost#dilfosaur#miss misnomer
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gem and the scotts because that team didn't get enough love!! it was such a great vibe, all three povs were super fun to watch
#i haven't done a full background in so long#i do too many silly little sketches and not enough actual pieces lol#not my best art but i just wanted to make a lil somethin for them#scott smajor#smajor fanart#impulsesv#impulse fanart#geminitay#geminitay fanart#tea dragon society#sometimes you need to go back to your roots#and give mcyts tea dragons#gem and the scotts#secret life#secret life fanart#traffic life#trafficblr#traffic life fanart#syn's art
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I'm trying to get some worms out today. Send me a prompt and chatacter(s) and they'll write a drabble/blurb/whatever they desire.
Prompt List
❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿
Fever and Sickness
“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
“You’re shaking.”
“Come here. I’ll keep you warm.”
“You’re burning up.”
“How long have you been hiding this?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t... i don’t feel so good.”
“Could you bring me another blanket? It’s cold in here.”
“I felt fine this morning.”
“Stay.”
“It’s not that bad. I’m fine. Really.”
“It’s okay. Rest now.”
Hurt/Comfort
“Okay. Okay. You’re bleeding.”
“Oh. That’s not good.”
“I’m sorry, but this is gonna hurt.”
“Don’t move—don’t move!”
“Out of everything that could’ve happened, i was not expecting this.”
“Squeeze my hand.”
“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”
“Let me help you.”
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
“You’re okay—breathe.”
“I think it’s broken.”
“I can’t move.”
“Okay, yep, that’s starting to hurt.”
Fluff
“Did you just hit me with a pillow? Oh, it’s on!”
“Cuddle?”
“I feel like i could sleep for a century.”
“If i fall asleep here, it’s not my fault.”
“I’ll be your pillow.”
“Tag! You’re it!”
“Are you awake?”
“Do you wanna know a secret?”
“I think you were sleepwalking.”
“You’re trapped! I’m never letting you go.”
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... and he was eager moreover to discover all that he could concerning Mankind. He it was that first met Men in Beleriand and befriended them; and for this reason he was often called by the Eldar Edennil, 'the Friend of Men'. (Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth)
(partially inspired by this)
#small disclaimer: i still haven't completed my annual silm reread#so this mayyyy be a little bit inaccurate#i was having so many thoughts about finrod and the edain again so i couldn't stop myself :)#but!#clarisse! you may ask. whats up with the hands being so realistic but they still have cartoon faces#i don't know. i respond. im at that stage of drawing#you know how sometimes you draw something and stare it for too long and you start having a crisis of whether it was even a good idea#like i've been working on this for the past week! and have no idea if it's even comprehensible#however. i am done with it and methinks is time to release it to the wild#clarisse doodles#tolkien#the silmarillion#finrod felagund#beor the old#house of beor#baran#andreth#beren
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I've been cooking up a pretty simple AU concept, surrounding a simple idea: What if Purple had been deleted for slightly too long. What if there were permanent after-effects? Then, the only theoretical differentiation between canon and this au concept would be a second of waiting time.
Anyway, I'm working on a fic to go with it, I hope people will enjoy it! You can read it here!
#art tag#animator vs animation#animation vs animator#animation vs minecraft#alan becker#ava#avm king orange#avm purple#avm green#ava green#ava purple#ava king orange#i have my plans laid out pretty loosely but I'm just excited to be writing again tbh#haven't done this in a long time <3#i'll be tagging this as#voidout au#so. yay!#i'll likely let the fic speak for itself but if anyone has questions feel free to hit up my inbox!
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the tale of a princess and her fair lady
rhaenyra targaryen x velaryon!reader
Summary: The daughter of House Velaryon makes a promise to her princess
CW: None!
A/N- I have not written and published a fanfiction since I was 14... bare with and pray for me.
The chamber was silent as a young girl with silver hair knelt before hundreds of candles beneath the stained-glass windows of the starry sept. Though she had never been a believer in gods and myths before, her love and worry filled her so deeply at present that she was brought to her knees in prayer.
Lady (Y/N) of House Velaryon had been in love with Princess Rhaenyra of House Targaryen for the better half of a year. They’d known each other since childhood and had always been quite close. Being the only two daughters of the great Valyrian houses in the Red Keep, they’d always felt that no one could understand them as well as each other. Their relationship, which had always toed the line between platonic and romantic, had turned into an unadulterated love affair the day Rhaenyra realized that her disdain for marriage to a man had never truly been about marriage, but more so the man.
Ever since, (Y/N) and Rhaenyra had been living in pure bliss, catching each other’s eye, walking with linked arms in public, and worshiping each other’s bodies during those private moments brought on by the cover of night. In recent days, however, the girls have been slightly at odds with each other, as (Y/N)’s parents have posed a potential marriage between Lady (Y/N) and King Viserys to strengthen the realm. Rhaenyra had hardly been able to look at her lover as she could soon become her stepmother, and she didn’t want it to be more painful by prolonging their relationship until the moment (Y/N) stood at the altar.
On this day, the 13th of the eighth moon, the princess had taken a most dangerous risk in flying to her family’s seat of power, Dragonstone, to subdue her wretched uncle Daemon, who had been squatting there for a year and who had just stolen a dragon egg for his unborn bastard child. (Y/N) had gotten wind of these plans and miraculously arrived at the dragonpit just before Rhaenyra took flight. (Y/N) had implored her princess to be safe, telling her that she would not know what to do if anything happened to her. Rhaenyra, overcome by the love and emotion she had been repressing, could not think of anything else to do but cup (Y/N)'s cheeks and pull her into a kiss. (Y/N)'s eyes widened in shock for a moment, but she quickly got over it, placing her hand on Rhaenyra’s cheek and wrapping her free arm around her waist.
How lovely that kiss was, (Y/N) sighed, remembering it. Rhaenyra had left after their lips broke, and (Y/N) had been in the sept worrying ever since. Eyes closed, she murmured promises to the seven that she would never sin again if Rhaenyra was protected.
Upon hearing a familiar voice softly calling her name, (Y/N)’s eyes fluttered open. She quickly turned her head to see none other than Rhaenyra Targaryen. Her princess. The purest love in her life. Her everything.
(Y/N) ran to her lover, immediately cupping her face and kissing her fiercely. Rhaenyra met (Y/N) with the same passion, grabbing her tightly by her waist and pulling her closer.
Two dragons burning together under the midnight sky.
The kiss communicated everything they had been too afraid to say. “I’m sorry.” “I miss you.” “I need you.” “I love you.”
The two girls finally broke apart for air, giggling shyly in the throes of their young love.
Suddenly serious, Rhaenyra looked deeply into (Y/N)’s eyes. A pure shade of violet only found in those with the true blood of Old Valyria, with little flecks of blue- a trait passed down from her seafaring ancestors. She then scanned (Y/N)’s entire body, her shimmering silver hair, braided at the top, loosening into long coils past her backside—the curves of her breasts and hips, the softness of her hands, and the way her brown skin shone in the moonlight.
“A true Valyrian goddess, you are,” she said.
(Y/N) looked down shyly at the compliment. Rhaenyra lifted (Y/N)’s chin with her finger and stepped closer, leaning her forehead against hers. A moment of sweetness and intimacy.
“Kivio naejot sagon rūsīr issa va moriot,” Rhaenyra said quietly. “Dōrī jorrāelagon mirre tolie hae ao jorrāelagon issa.”
Swear to be with me always. Never love any other as you love me.
(Y/N) exhaled. “Oh, issa dārilaros. Nyke kivio, jaehossi uēpossi arlȳssī."
Oh, my princess. I swear, by the old gods and the new.
#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra x reader#rhaenyra targaryen x reader#velaryon reader#velaryon!reader#black reader#rhaenyra targaryen x black!reader#fire and blood#hotd x reader#i haven't done this in so long someone sedate me
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07/01/2024
a month left and i'm not panicking (i am)...! sorry to juxtapose beautiful flowers with a cursed picture of memorizing crim at like 3 am lmao. hope everyone's having a lovely summer and good luck to those who are also studying over the summer ! summer study squad🌞📚, let's go!!! may we be blessed with good grades, passing scores, and a stress-free autumn🙏
#i also got a haircut so my hair is no longer this long :-(#the only thing that makes me feel better is thinking about how much i got done in a month and now i have the SAME amount of time left#peep my new lamy safari!!#i am going to post about it - i just haven't had the time to take a pic of it in action#it was sooo scratchy and awful at first but i got a replacement nib and switched inks so it flows a lot better now <3 still kinda uncomfy#study#tea-tuesday#mine#studyblr#studyspo#study inspiration#studying#study motivation#b*r pr*p
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the west wing ⇢ season 01
"I've never felt like this before." "It doesn't go away."
#twwedit#thewestwingedit#the west wing#josh lyman#donna moss#toby ziegler#jed bartlet#sam seaborn#leo mcgarry#s1#picspam#smallscreensource#tvandfilm#tvfilmsource#tvfilmgifs#useroptional#userthing#userbbelcher#userstream#listen idk what this is either#i haven't done a picspam in so long lmao#maybe one day i'll do other seasons too who knows
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"We are not all alone."
#broadchurchedit#broadchurch#tuserpolly#by*ks#haven't done colorful edits in so long and I missed it so much
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