#i haven't been able to write creatively and enjoy it in so long but this was nice

[cbuumbbles]

[Decode Pt. 2] Self-Aware! Caleb x fem!reader

CW: Smut, this shits gonna get freakyyy, 18+ MDNI. (Contains: egregious squirting, vaginal fisting, cunnilingus, unrealistic belly bulge, HES GOT A HUGE PENIS GUYS, so many orgasms, water breaks to stay hydrated, size kink ??, def hand kink, dacryphilia, misuse of evol, drooling, choking, tummy appreciation in missionary, breeding kink too possibly?? not really, but maybe if you squint, idk if I’m missing anything else w/ out spoiling). SORRY FOR THIS LAUNDRY LIST. I got carried away :p

Summary: You and Caleb had been dating for a while now and your needs couldn't be more met than they are with him.

A/N: Hi people! If you haven't read part 1, go read it! Part 1 is not freaky btw. This is my second time writing for this godforsaken website. So I still don't know how to make it look fancy. Bare with me. Anywho! I hope you enjoy, this is my first time in a long time writing smut, so if it's bad, just tell me nicely so I can fix it. Also sorry this took so long to get out after part 1, I have had 0 time to write.

Part 1

Caleb had finally convinced you to quit your job so he could take care of you full time. You loved the time off, he made sure to pamper you too. Your nails were always done, hair trimmed, and your back massaged. When he wasn't home, you started having to get creative with ways to entertain yourself. He had bought you a vibrator a while back which helped entertain you until he got home. You'd think it'd wear you out by the time he got home, but something inside of you was like an insatiable beast that needed to jump on Caleb as soon as he got home from work. Caleb loved every second of it, he loved giving you as much pleasure as you wanted. If you thought you were spoiled before you got together, you haven't seen anything yet. Caleb would do anything you asked him to, and you've asked him to do a lot. He's always happy to oblige and eager to please you. Being able to code anything about your reality was a life saver. Since he knew what you liked, he coded himself to be able to give you the maximum amount of pleasure you'd ever want. He was also surprised about how you weren't completely dehydrated all of the time, but he made sure you drank plenty of water, even having water breaks in the middle of sex to keep you from passing out.

Right now, you were using your vibrator on your shared bed, waiting for Caleb to come home. All you could think about was how good it's gonna feel once you start feeling his fingers filling you up. You started to imagine his fingers teasing your folds, gathering your wetness and spreading it around. His thick fingers were something you drooled over every time you saw them, they were perfect and all you could picture in your mind when you saw them was how nice they feel pumping inside of you. The vivid fantasies started to feel real when you swear you can feel his fingers start to slip inside of your dripping pussy. They felt so real that you opened your eyes to find Caleb, home from work. "Hi princess, I'm home." He whispers, smiling at you while his fingers were pulling squelching sounds from you. It was embarrassing how wet he could get you. But he knew all of the places he needed to get to in order for you to get undone on his fingers. He bent down, using his tongue to lap up some of the mess you were making. "Always taste amazin', pretty." He praised you. You were moaning in response, unable to form proper words. But that's how he always had you, it was like magic. He could melt your mind in an instant with just his fingers, something he was extremely proud of. All you could say was 'more' and 'Caleb,' it was like a mantra. He sticks another finger in, making it a total of three, but he knew you could handle the whole fist tonight, you were sopping. The spot under you was drenched in your squirt. He loved how messy you were and that he was the only one who could get you to that point.

"I- close, Caleb 'm close." You hurried out, he kept his same pace as you felt the white hot pleasure building in your stomach. The journey to the orgasm was almost as pleasurable as letting go, maybe it was because you knew what was about to happen.

"Come on, angel, come on my fingers." He coaxed, his words being the final push that sends you over the edge. You moan and whine out his name as you feel your pussy pulse around his fingers, squeezing them in. As you ride out your high on his fingers, the feeling fades and you start working yourself up again. He adds another finger, making it four and you feel amazing, on cloud nine. The water works were going everywhere and you couldn't shut your mouth, as hard as you tried. You were making a mess of Caleb, thankfully he undressed himself before starting in on you, you could see drops of your squirt on his chest which made you incredibly more horny somehow. "You're doing so good, takin' me so well, pretty. You think you can handle the whole fist now?" He asked. All you could do was nod your head fervently. "I wanna hear your words baby, think you can do that for me, or are you too fucked out to speak?" He knew the answer, anything past three and you were completely melted. "My dumb little angel forgot how to speak. You're lucky I know you so well, I know exactly what you need." He coos, adding the last finger. You could feel him reaching every possible spot he needed to, his fingers stretching you out and getting you ready for his cock. You felt that familiar feeling start building up again as you suck in his fingers subconsciously. He could tell you were getting close by the way your walls were spasming around his hand. "You're so greedy with my fingers baby, it's makin' me jealous. You're taking me so well, pretty. Getting all stretched out for what's coming later. Gettin' so wet for me, you're drenching the bed. You're doing such a good job, princess. Come all over my fingers." He spoke, all of his praises going straight to your core as you felt that burning hot feeling again.

"Caleb, Caleb, Caleb." You repeated in quick succession, you could feel your release rapidly approaching.

"That's it, come on, angel. Let yourself go, beautiful." He says. His encouraging words help you focus on getting to your release and when you finally snap, it's just as intense as last time. You pulse around his fist and your legs start shaking. You know that tomorrow will have to be a recovery day for, the night is still long from over. "Let me get a taste, baby. Can you sit up for me?" He asks, you try your hardest, able to get to your knees. Your brain was fried and all you cared about was getting more. He handed you your water as you took slow sips, learning not to chug it all at once by now. "Sweet girl, that feel better?" He asks, taking the water back to set it down, as you nod your head. He lays down on the bed and you know exactly what he wants. You hover yourself above his head, staring down at him through tired lids. He grabs your thighs and pulls you down onto his face, he moans in pleasure as a response. "So good, angel. Taste so good." He moans into your pussy, using his tongue to fuck your hole while his nose was rubbing into your clit. You couldn't help your hands traveling down to his head to push him up further into you, using your hips to grind on his face. You were so spoiled, using his face like this, but he loved every second of it. You tasted tart which reminded him of his favorite fruits. You could hear him sucking everywhere he could get his mouth on, it felt so good. You desuctioned yourself from Caleb's mouth, with a wet plop and a whine from him, to turn around to put your hands on his chest. Now he was nose deep in your pussy and his tongue was working on your clit. You fucked his nose, hearing the sound of labored breathing through his muffled mouth. You saw his hips buck up into the air as he was holding you down on his face like a vice.

You just tasted too good, the remnants of squirt still coating your sex. His moans were deep with a heavy vibration that you felt throughout your entire body. It was enough to have you heaving for air as you got closer to your third release, from him, that night. He began sucking on your clit, tonguing it while the pressure from the suction helped get you off. The suction started building your release as you started getting desperate for release. "Please Caleb. I need it so so so bad." You beg, it coming out labored from how little you could focus on anything other than releasing on his face. The sounds of his muffled moaning mixed with the wet sounds coming from both of you were what you focused on to finally snap and pulse your cunt onto his face. You could hear his muffled praises from underneath you as he worked you through your third orgasm of the night.

He lifted you off of his face and flipped your positions with ease. You think you're finally ready for his dick, but he has other plans. "I'm not done tasting you yet. I didn't get nearly enough time with that gorgeous pussy in my face." He said, your slick coating and dripping off his face. He dips his head between your legs again and starts his attack on your sensitive bud again. You jolt in response from how sensitive you were. You felt like you had nothing more to give, but every time Caleb would start up again, you'd be proven wrong. There was a battle in your mind. You wanted to go to bed for the night, but you also wanted every single orgasm he was about to give you. You buck up into his face, grabbing his head to push it down into you, but your hands are pulled from him and held by an invisible force. You whine, trying to fight his evol holding you down. "If you weren't so greedy, I wouldn't have to keep your hands above your head." He comments, looking at you while sticking two fingers in your hole. You gasped, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. His fingers were pushing against your gummy walls, hitting every spot with a precision that made you favor fingers over anything else. Caleb knew your preference and made sure to spoil you. You felt him go back to sucking on your clit, still pumping his fingers into you. It was like he was the conductor of the most beautiful sounding symphony and you didn't want it to end. Everything was so overwhelming that you couldn't help but beg, but you didn't know what you were begging for. Caleb loved hearing your pleading voice repeating his name. He loved breaking your mind with pleasure. There wasn't a time that the sex you had together didn't end up in you becoming a drooling mess. You tasted amazing, he couldn't get over it. If they made a drink inspired by you, he'd drink it every day. He couldn't get enough of you, because, just like him, he is just as insatiable as you are. He'd eat you out all night if he you'd last without passing out. You definitely last longer now, you're able to have more orgasms in one session. You used to get wiped out after two, but he's trained you to go to four. Tonight he wants to try for six, he knows you're ready, that you're so good for him. His tongue wouldn't relent, keeping a sickening, steady pace that made your mind swim with thoughts that were nothing but Caleb. The combination of everything with the steady pace he was keeping and his moans into your sex made the feeling start to build up again. Your moaning turned into whines and whimpers the closer you got to finishing. You could feel tears threatening to spill from the overwhelming amount of times you've came and you didn't know what number Caleb planned on stopping at. He loved making you orgasm, it was one of his favorite things to do. He also loved watching tears roll down your face from how overwhelming the pleasure was.

"Caleb!" You whined out as you were pushed over the edge again, for your forth orgasm. Your breaths were uneven as you tried to come back down. He kept going until you rode out your high, stopping to grab your water again, knowing you'd need it after how much fluid you lost. Again, you sip it, tears drying streaks onto your face, your hair a wild mess from all of the thrashing you were doing and Caleb didn't think there was a prettier sight in the world.

"So pretty baby, such a mess for me. Like a work of art." Caleb was no artist, but he thought that if he were, you'd be his best work. Your chest was heaving as you took in breaths through your nose as you kept sipping the water. Your eyes were closed and you felt ready to fall asleep, but you also craved more. You wanted his cock and thankfully that was the next part of the night. "You ready, angel?" He asked you. You just nodded, handing your water to him with your eyes still closed. "Are you too sleepy?" He asked causing you to groan in protest. He had fucked all of the words out of you. "Alright then, greedy." He narrowed his eyes at you, like a predator with their prey.

You feel his evol moving your legs, folding you in half. Then you felt him hovering over top of you. You open your eyes to see a slice of heaven. His face was glistening with sweat and your juices, same with his chest. You could smell your arousal on him now and it made you realize he had been too busy eating your cunt to even kiss you yet, so you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him into one. You can taste yourself on his lips as your tongues meet together, fighting for dominance. Neither won, but the war was still raging. You bit his bottom lip to surprise him. He moaned in response, taking the hint and doing the same thing back. Your fingers were tangled in his hair to try and pull him closer to you because he never seemed close enough. You desperately wanted to wrap your legs around his torso to slam him down onto you, but he still had his evol holding your legs in that stretching position. You whined into the kiss, wanting friction from him so badly. “Please, Caleb. I need you.” You whimpered, looking at him with the most desperate look in your eyes. He couldn’t say no to you, especially not when you were looking at him like that.

You had taken him many times before, but you still needed a pretty big warm up before he could penetrate you. Saying his cock was big was an understatement. It caused a delicious belly bulge every time he’d go in. “Alright honey, I’m gonna start sliding it in.” He warned you. You felt his tip prod at your entrance making you impatiently eager. The first feeling of his cock entering you made you gasp. It was never not shocking to feel how girthy he was. You felt him keep going and you thought he must almost be done by now, until you heard him say. “Tip’s almost in, honey. You’re doing amazing.” And with that a final pop and his tip was officially in. Now the real challenge was being able to take all of him in. You hated leaving some of his dick out; you didn’t think it was fair for some of his dick to have a taste and the other part left in the dust. This is where the previous size training comes in handy. You can handle all of him, it just takes time to get it all in. After that, it’s smooth sailing.

“God, Caleb.” You choke out, eyes going wide at the sensation of how full you were feeling already.

“Don’t tell me you’re already quitting? We’re not even half way yet, angel.” He teases you.

“No, please keep going. Need more.” You muttered, gripping his biceps for dear life. As full as you felt, he was right, you were so greedy. He loved how you always craved so much of him. He was happy to oblige. He kept sliding further into you that you could feel him in unusual places, but you loved it. You craved it. You couldn’t wait to see him poking through your tummy.

“Almost there, love. Doing so well for me. Takin’ me like you were made for me, baby.” His praises made you throb around his dick, which earned a hiss from him. “Careful, princess.” He warns. You feel the last of him bottom out with his balls on your ass. “Did so good for me. Look at that.” He said, forcing your head, with his evol, to look at the bulge he made. The sight literally made you drool. You were shocked it took you this long to start drooling, but the sight before you was delicious. You detangle one of your hands from his hair to press down on it. You both moaned in response. He starts thrusting and you started seeing stars. He went slow at first, like always, to ease you into it. You knew his mercy wouldn’t last for much longer. Instead of begging for a faster pace, you relished in the calm before the storm. That surprised Caleb considering you were usually whining at him at this point. He figured it must’ve been because of how many orgasms you had that night. Still more to come! “Always so tight for me.” Caleb manages to grunt out. He loved missionary because he got to watch your tits bounce up and down. Your cute little tummy made the same bouncing movements too that he loved.

Then he sped up and you were gripping his biceps like a lifeline. Your face was dug into his neck, biting into his shoulder and accidentally drooling on it. Caleb loved witnessing you turn to mush beneath him. It was a feeling he would never get over, he'd do it forever if you'd let him. You looked perfect, your sweat was making your hair stick to your forehead and it gave your skin a beautiful glow. Your flushed cheeks were calling out to him to kiss them. He peppered your cheeks in kisses as you moaned out his name. You felt yourself building to climax again, this was past your limit. You knew you could do more, Caleb always brought it out in you. Your squirt was spraying up from being smacked into, it was a mess. You could tell how much Caleb loved it by the feral sounds he was making paired with the aggressive thrusting. He had you hovering off of the bed now, holding you up with his arms and keeping your thighs at torso level with his evol. He was grunting in your ear, telling you how beautiful you were, how much he loved you, and other sweet nothings. It helped push you over the edge to the point where you were gripping so hard on his biceps that your fingers turned white and half moons from your fingernails would linger for a couple of days. "Caleb." You whined out, your voice coming out in waves of volume that matched the thrusts he was pounding into you.

"That's it baby, you got it. You're almost done." He said. With every steady, rough thrust, you could feel the build getting faster and faster until eventually it all climaxed and you started pulsing around him, once again. His dick had finally had a taste of your orgasm pulsing around him. It was like you were trying to milk him. He could've came, but he knew he needed to last a little longer to pull that one last sweet orgasm from you. "'m not done yet, princess. Just hold on until I can fill you up." He instructs you, causing you to moan. His pace was relentless and it felt sweet going in and out of you. You were addicted to it at that point, wanting to feel him stuffing your pussy full forever. You'll have to ask if you can cockwarm him sometime soon. He'd obviously agree, but he wouldn't make it easy for you.

He flips you over, using his strength to arch your back and choke you from behind. He used his evol to keep your head back while he stuck two fingers in your mouth. The slight pressure his evol added to your neck was addictive. You sucked and bit down on his fingers, moaning his name. He felt so much bigger from behind that it was almost ridiculous. Your whimpers and whines faded into the distance only to be replaced by viceral moans as he pounded into you with a sickening pace. The noises coming from your sex was like music to your ears. His fingers in your mouth caused you to drool more. Thankfully, you were in the spare bedroom so that way you could change the sheets and clean the mattress and still have a bed to lie down in to get aftercare. Because with the way you were making a mess out of both ends, you'd need a dry place to sleep. "Mmm." You loudly whine, feeling it build up again.

"You almost there again, already?" He teased you. He loved looking at you from behind too. He loved looking at you from any position really. He thought you were the most beautiful angelic person to ever exist. "Come on baby, let's cum together. I'm gonna fill you up." He said as his hands dwared your hips as he began to hold them to slam you back into him. Your tears started up again as they began to stream down your face.

You felt it build up and up and up until it finally spilled over, you spasmed on his cock, feeling impaled. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." You said over and over again like a mantra.

"Fuck baby, I'm cumming." He groaned, pumping his cock into you. You could feel him paint your pulsing walls. It all felt so warming, it could put you to sleep. He pumped his last few times to finish inside of you, pulling out of you and immediately pulling you into him for a much needed hug. "So beautiful and perfect. I love you so much, honey." He said, using the nickname you used to have when you'd fake date. Those same butterflies from back then found their way to your stomach too.

"Mm, love you too... S'much." You muttered out as best you could. You could tell you were fading fast. All you wanted was to fall asleep in his arms while he played with your hair. You also realized how thirsty you were too. "Water?" You asked. He was already one step ahead of you, holding the straw up to your lips. You took sips, making contented sighs as you leaned back into him. This was heaven, you were sure of it. Every day he'd treat your needs as the top priority. You couldn't express how much you truly loved him. It was impossible because there weren't grand enough words to describe it.

"Let's get to bed, baby. You look so tired." He cooed at you, lifting you up and carrying you into your shared bedroom. He laid you down in the bed, going to grab a towel to clean the mess in between your thighs. "You did so well. Six in one session. And that's not even counting the ones you had before I got home. You're so amazing baby. I knew you could do it." He spoke on his way back from the bathroom. He cleaned me and then him, tucking me into the covers and turning on the ceiling fan. He threw the towel in the dirty laundry and finally joined me in bed. By the time he climbed in beside me, I was already half asleep. He turned me around to cuddle me into his chest and I fell asleep with a content smile on my face with his fingers playing with my hair.

[evansbuckle]

Mechanic!SingleDad!Bucky Barnes AU.

This is my first time writing a fic since like 2021, but I haven't been able to get this out of my head for the entire day, so please, enjoy. Likes & reblogs are always appreciated <3

Word Count: At least 20 for sureeeee!

Warnings: There's brief swearing, brief mentions of death and parental abandonment. Reader is referred to as y/n, with she/her pronouns, and has curly hair. Bucky's a dad? I'm pretending I know how cars work + bad grammar (i have a creative writing degree and still can't tell if the full stop goes after a speech mark or before)

masterlist link part two part three part four part five part six

Grease, Part One.

It was one thing to have a car breakdown on you. It was another thing for it to happen at half eleven. In the evening. Outside a garage. That was shut. 

“C’mon don’t do this to me, man,” I begged the car as I hit the steering wheel, and tried the engine again to no prevail, “I’m gonna sell you, I swear.” 

I looked at the garage my car broke down outside of, eyes narrowing in on the “CLOSED” sign on the door. I could see a faint light inside, and there was a nagging in the back of my head that drove me to knock on the door. It was barely thirty seconds before a greased up man opened the door. 

“We’re closed.” He gruffed out, wiping his hands on what looked like a vest.

“I know, and I swear I usually wouldn’t do this but my car just stopped and I don’t really know what’s wrong with it and I’m here, and please?”

“What are you asking me to do exactly?” The man asked, amused.

“Well, realistically what can you do with it right now?”

“I can push it into the garage and ask you to come back in the morning, where I’ll be able to tell you what’s wrong with it.”

“Are you serious?” I looked at him with a level of shock in my eyes that he clearly wasn’t expecting, as he sort of grimaced at me, like he was uncomfortable. 

“Nine in the morning.” His tone was stone-cold, so I thanked him again, gave him my car key, got my bag and left, walking home. It didn’t take long to get back to my apartment, twenty minutes, ten if you run because it’s the middle of the night and you’re scared. I was greeted by a series of barks and leg rubs as I walked in, leaning down to pet the giant dog that was at my feet, “Hi Cheryl.” 

It didn’t take long to get ready for bed either, I speed-ran feeding the dog, getting changed and brushing my teeth, not really wanting to waste time considering I had work in the morning. As I lied in bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about the man who opened the door.

I didn’t realise I’d fallen asleep until my alarm rang, signalling it was time to get ready for work. I walked into my kitchen to the smell of my coffee machine doing Gods work, and the dog asleep on the floor. I reached over to pet her head as I poured myself a cup, downing it almost instantly. It wasn’t nice when drank all at once, but the energy boost was always welcome. I brushed my teeth, got changed, fed Cheryl, and left for work. 

Opening shifts at the coffee shop were always my favourites. Me on my own, and the music I choose, having a slow hour before the day. I opened the cafe, letting the few early-waking elderly come in and order their usual pots of tea and pastries, taking my time with them. The time flew by, as it often does when old ladies are recounting their youth to you, and I left my coworkers on their own to go see a man about a car. 

*

The bell above the door gave away my presence as I walked into the garage, the smell of grease and petrol almost knocking me clean out. I scan around the room before I see the brunette from last night, making my way over to him. 

“Uh, hi,” I said, awkwardly waiting for him to turn round.

“Oh,” he checked his watch, “right on time.” All I could think to do was nod at him, waiting expectedly. 

He cleared his throat before carrying on, “so, the problem is your engine. Can’t tell the main cause, but it seems like it overheated. You also need your brake belt replaced.”

“Right, sure.” The far off look on my face must’ve given away my cluelessness as he carried on.

“I’m gonna replace your engine, because it short-circuited basically. Got too hot and broke which meant your car couldn’t start.”

I opened my mouth to reply before I felt a little hand poking my leg. I jumped a little, entirely focused on the man in front of me to notice the carbon copy of him, just with blonde curly hair, standing at my feet. 

“Hi! I’m Becky!” The little voice called out next to me. I crouched down next to her, “Hi Becky, I’m Y/N.” I offered my hand, she didn’t hesitate to take it in hers and give it a shake. “Wow, Becky, gotta say I think that’s the firmest handshake I’ve had in a while. You clearly mean business.” She nods at me, then runs over to the man in front as I stand back up. 

“Daddy, she’s got hair like me.” She whispered to him. The man looked up at me, taking in the curls on my head that I hadn’t bothered to try with today. He nods, “Yeah, sugar, she’s got curly hair like you.” She turned back to me, holding out a colouring book, “Do you wanna see my colouring? It’s princesses.” 

The man looks at me taken aback, “You can,” he says, “I’ve gotta fill out some paperwork for your car anyway.” 

Becky leads me into a little office in the back of the garage, the place covered in scribbly drawings, all signed “Rebecca Barnes” at the bottom. We sit on the floor and she flicks through the book, showing me her favourites.

“Becky, what’s your dads name?” I ask her while she points out a green unicorn. 

“Bucky.” She giggles.

“Yo-your dads name is Bucky? And he named you Becky?”

“Technically, I named her Rebecca. And my name is James,” Bucky smiles at his daughter from the doorframe he’s leaning on, “my middle name is Buchanan, so everyone calls me Bucky.”

I snort, “your middle name is Buchanan?”

“Don’t laugh,” he chuckles, “my parents were old fashioned.” I can’t help but let out the laugh building in my chest as I take in the attractive man standing a few feet away from us. Easily six foot, and covered in grease, it made sense he’d have a daughter by now. My thoughts weren’t finished fully forming before Becky runs off to another mechanic.

“She’s sweet,” I say, watching her potter about, “how old is she?”

“Too old,” he looked at her with a soft glimmer in his blue eyes, “she turns six in a couple months.” He turned back to me now, “you know she doesn’t take to strangers often. Usually takes her, like, three interactions with someone to warm up to them.”

There’s something warm blooming in me at the thought of this girl taking kindly to me and it makes me smile. “I used to work at a kindergarten, maybe that’s why.” He chuckles, a deep sound, raspy, “yeah maybe she can smell the teacher-vibe.”

He walks around me, going to sit at the desk, grabbing a form and quickly scribbling on it before standing in front of me again. “So, technically this was just a consultation, ‘cuz I didn’t do any actual work on it so I’m not charging you for this,” he thrusts the form toward me, “I do need you to fill this out though so I can start on it today. It’s just basics, phone number, email, all that.”

I nod at him, my face scrunching up at the price written at the bottom of the paper, and I don’t get a chance to voice myself before he interrupts. 

“It’s steep, I know. But we need to buy you a whole new engine.” 

“No I get it, it’s just, you know, it doesn’t make it any less scary.” I lean forward on the desk, filling out the rest of the form, handing him the paper. 

“It should be around a week, but I’ll keep you updated as I go.” 

“Thanks,” I say, looking him in the eyes “Not just for this but for taking it in last night, I think you literally saved my life.”

He chuckles again, “I don’t know if I’d go that far.” A faint blush creeps up on his cheeks. 

“I would Bucky, seriously. I think a lot of people would’ve just told me to fuck off and come back in the morning, so, thank you,” I turn around to start leaving, “you should come by Cafe Cloud sometime, have a coffee on me, you know, if you want.” 

I don’t give him a chance to reply, waving bye to Becky and walking back to work. 

*

Getting settled back into work was nothing short of horrid. Two machines broken, the register jammed, and the staff bathroom in  disarray. The next seven hours sped by, but not in the good way, in the way that left your head pounding and your feet burning. We were open still, but by now the crowds had gone, and the only people left were students who had their faces buried in laptops. The little bell above the drew my attention, as I watched Bucky walk up to the counter.

“Hey,” he said, voice rough, “I’m taking you up on that coffee if it still stands.”

“Course it does, what would you like?”

“Filter’s fine, thanks.”

I nod, “take a seat I’ll bring it out to you.”

It doesn’t take long for the filter to brew, and while it does I bring Bucky his cup and saucer, setting it down. While I grab the carafe, I grab him a blueberry muffin too. Filling up his coffee, I set the muffin down in front of him. 

“Oh I didn’t-”

“I know, but it’s end of day. It’s either give them away or throw them out. They’ll be getting some too,” I nod around to the other 3 people left in the cafe. “Shout if you want more.”

“Actually, I uh,” he starts, looking pained at the fact he’s speaking “I wondered if you wanted to sit with me, if you’re not busy or anything.”

“Sure, just give me a second.” I turn around and walk back behind the counter, pouring myself a cup and making sure my co-worker was okay on her own, before sitting down with Bucky. 

“I just, I don’t know, what I’m doing here actually.”

I raise my eyebrows at him, laughing at his facial expression, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

“I wasn’t going to come, but then I thought, Becky’s at a friends for dinner, and I don’t really wanna sit at home on my own, so I’m here now and I’m blabbing your ear off.” He laughs a little at himself, taking a sip of his coffee, “Shit this is good, what the hell?”

I laugh at the change in his attitude as I watch him take another sip, “On your own? Becky’s mum not home?”

His face contorts into something unreadable while he splits the muffin in half, pushing one half to me, keeping the other for himself. “Ah no, she uhm, she’s not really around, anymore. Not for a while now.”

My face scrunches up at his revelation, “Damn, I’m sorry. Is she still with us?”

Bucky chokes on his coffee, “Yeah, yeah she’s still kickin’ somewhere. She just,” he shrugs, wiping at his mouth with a napkin, “decided she didn’t want anything to do with us so she left.” 

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“That must’ve been awful, I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, “Honestly she’s been gone for longer than she was around. It feels a little like it’s always just been me and Becky against everything else.” His face lights up a little at the mention of his daughter, the corners of his mouth lifting into a smile. “I don’t think she really remembers her mum anyway, or at least she’s real good at pretending she doesn’t.” 

“How long has it been just you two?”

“About four years.”

I think for a second, “If Becky does remember her mum then it’s probably very little anyway. Don’t think kids really start having conscious thoughts until they’re about two. You tried asking her?”

He shakes his head no, and finishes off picking at his half of the muffin, “I keep meaning to, I just, I don’t want to make her sad, make her feel like she’s missing out on what other kids have, you know?” He looked at me then, his stormy-blue eyes looking mine. 

“I don’t think you’d make her sad, as long as you were careful about the reason why her mum left. As for the missing out, she’s going to feel like that anyway,” I hold my hands out in front of me at the horrified look on his face, “Maybe not now, and hell maybe I’m incredibly wrong and she’ll never feel like that, but when I was a teenager and I didn’t have my mum around, I was so jealous of my friends it was ridiculous.”

“Your ma leave you too?”

“Not voluntarily. She passed when I was about ten. So when I was a little older and discovering literally everything, it made me angry at the world, ‘cuz why did everyone else get a mum that lived but me? You know?” 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I lost my parents too, a while ago. It’s not easy.”

I shake my head, “no it’s not, but my point is it’s probably going to happen to Becky too. I just wonder if it would be any consolation to her if you talked about her mum more. But again, it’s not really my place to say, so please, ignore me.”

By now the last of the customers had gone, and it was just me, Bucky and my coworker Morgan left in the place. Bucky and I had  spent the last two hours talking about nothing, and I ended the day feeling like I’d made a new friend, even if he was almost twenty years older than me. He sat and watched as Morgan and I closed, laughing here and there at our music choices and berating us when we got distracted. 

“Alright, I’m ready to go,” I say to Bucky, my work apron now off, bag on my shoulder.

He opens the door for me, letting me out first. 

“So, I’m up a couple blocks that way,” I point up the road. “It was nice to see you again, and please, come by anytime.” I start to walk off but I don’t get very far before a strong hand wraps around my arm, stopping me in my tracks. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Going home?”

“You’re walking?”

“Well my car is under your care so unless you’d like me to somersault home.”

“I’ll drive you.” 

Bucky doesn’t give me time to respond, placing one arm softly on my back, barely perceptible, as he guides me across the street to his jeep. He opens the passenger door, and gives me his hand as he helps me in, shutting the door and walking round to his side. I give him the address, and we drive off, but not before he grumbles about the part of town I’ve chosen to live in.

It takes us all of three minutes to drive back to my apartment.

“Do you wanna come up, for a glass of water or anything?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

He opens my car door, letting me step out and walk us over to the building. I lead him up the stairs and down the hall to my door. I wince as I realise I’d forgotten about the St Bernard currently waiting for me.

“Any chance you’re scared of dogs?”

“Not at all. Why?”

I smile as sweetly as I can, opening the door and walking in to meet Cheryl, the dog currently jumping up and down at the sight of her owner. I pet her, holding her by the collar as Bucky shuts the door. 

“Bucky, meet Cheryl. Cheryl,” I kneel down, scratching behind her ears, “You be the good girl I know you are, this is Bucky, he’s no danger.”

Cheryl tentatively walks to Bucky, who’s holding his hand out for her to sniff and get used to. She sniffs for a few seconds, before flopping down onto her back, inviting Bucky to rub her belly. I laugh at her, but the sight of Cheryl getting along with Bucky makes my chest feel oddly warm. I go to pour him a glass of water and leave it on the kitchen island. 

“Hey sweet girl,” he talks to Cheryl, “You’re gorgeous aren’t you?” Cheryl barks playfully, 

“Yeah you are, attagirl.” He pets her head again before standing up and walking back over to me, taking a sip of the water.  

“Cheryl?”

There’s a sheepish smile on my face as I say, “I used to love Cheryl Cole. It felt right.”

He laughs then, the lines by his eyes evident when he does. He puts the glass of water down as he walks around the apartment, taking it in, the dog trailing behind him, tail wagging furiously.

It isn’t fancy, by any means. The kitchen and living room were right there when you walked in, and there was one bedroom and one bathroom. But after a few coats of a warm yellow paint, a few days of bookshelf building, and hours of various trinket organising, it had become home. 

Bucky stood by a shelf of records, taking his time looking through them. “Radiohead?” he scoffs playfully, rolling his eyes, “Let me guess, you’re a creep? A weirdo even?”

I can’t help but laugh at him, walking over to stand by his side. I take the vinyl out of his hands and put it back on the shelf, “leave me alone, I think they’re good. There are literal millions of people who agree with me.”

He turns to face me, arms crossed over his chest. “There are also millions of people doing crystal meth. That doesn’t make it good.” He laughs at my reaction then, tipping his head back and placing his hand on his stomach. 

When he finally composes himself, his gaze settles on my face. I physically watch his eyes as they take in all my features, from my hair to my eyes, to my nose, my lips. His gaze doesn’t drop any further, but it takes a while for him to look back into my eyes and when he does, his own have grown darker.

“I should go,” he says, clearing his throat. “It’s getting late and I still need to pick up Becky so,” his voice trails off as he walks to the door. 

He opens it, then turns around, “thank you for tonight, I needed that.” 

I offer him a smile as he leaves, and I move to lock my door. Cheryl runs up to me, panting and her tail wagging. I kneel down to give her a kiss, whispering to her “I think I may have just met your dad.”

[pigeonstab]

Okay so!! This is my first time doing creative writing since middle school basically, I did my best and I had fun so, hope you enjoy! (It's under the cut bc I don't want to have it be too long of a post) Also. English is not my first language, (lmao ik) if some sentences are wack it's because I tried to do something cool and it didn't work.

It's about my college AU and I tried to give enough context for it to be understandable even if you haven't looked through the tags but this is meant to be middle of the story kind of stuff so I do recommend that you check it out before reading..

Also @somegrumpynerd

Killer shivered from the cold in the apartment building. 142, Cross’s door number had been hard to find as the 2 had fallen off, leaving only a lighter imprint on the grimy gray walls.

He probably shouldn’t be here, but when else would he get an opportunity like this? The full moon was the only time he could evade Horror’s suffocating sheltering, the others were suspicious, he knew, and with him being out more and more often Nightmare was getting antsy…

He held his breath, finally finding the courage to knock on the door.

He waited a beat but was met with silence, budding worry tightened around his soul, trying the handle he found it slid open easily and with a strange snap, like the lock had been broken and never replaced.

Peering inside the apartment, Killer was shocked to see how cramped Cross’s living space was, a far cry from his own place, and taking his first steps inside he found it was nearly impracticable, the mess he encountered was more akin to rubble than untidiness and testified of an obvious struggle: kitchen appliances and rags strewn around the floor, broken glass, the counters scratched and one of the cupboards ripped off its hinges, these marks an echo of a wild animal’s rampage. This chaos was so unlike Cross, his uneasiness only grew.

Killer carried on with his exploration, turning his attention to the beat up cupboard, it only took a quick glance for him to recognize a small inconspicuous vial, among the cumin, the parsley and the other insignificant spices; there it was, Wolvesbane.

Killer didn’t get the time to dwell on how or why Cross would even own what was essentially Werewolf poison as a loud thud ripped through the heavy silence.

Killer’s non-existent stomach roiled, he left the cupboard behind, now far from his mind as he set to investigate the noise, following the dried blood trail past the torn couch (he did his best to ignore the smell. Now was not the time. Though he could tell it was Cross’s. A fact which worried him as much as it enticed him)

His shoulders were tense as he got close to yet another door, this one already ajar, he pushed it further, the room must’ve been Cross’s bedroom, it was dark and had he not been a vampire he most likely would not have been able to see, the copper smell was only stronger in here.

Killer froze as he spotted the dark mass near the end of the room. Its breathing rocked its hulking form. It had spotted him. Two white reflections pierced through the darkness and in seconds the wolf lunged.

Killer struggled against it as it clawed and snarled at him with a recklessness Killer did not expect from it. The beast had him pinned under its weight and Killer had to seize its jaws. Pushing the snapping and snarling muzzle away from him, his arms burning with the effort, his soul pounding and adrenaline coursing through him. The fight was constant movement. instinct alone permitted Killer to grab a hold of the thing’s maw and force it shut, pressing from top and bottom while it growled and tried to pull away from him. Killer slammed it onto the floor, to which it stilled with a pained whine.

Killer’s chest was heaving, he kept his hands where they were, unsure if the beast would get back up. When it became obvious it wouldn’t his shoulders dropped and he sighed. His eyes roamed the large wolf’s figure, a flannel Killer instantly recognized as Cross’s was still hanging to it, ripped to hell and back but Cross’s. Killer confirmed his suspicion, turning the wolf’s face to find a jagged scar under its right eye.

“Fucking hell Cross. You couldn’t just tell me these thing could you?”

Killer (despite his semi-serious words and lighthearted remark) felt lost. Why hadn’t Cross told him? He banished the thought from his mind. After all he’d never told Cross about his vampirism either. Why would Cross ever tell him about this?

Focusing on Cross he looked him over, his eyes were hazy and unfocused, a purple tint to them that Killer had never seen in them. Well. He’d unpack that later. For now.. “Up we go” Killer picked up the wolf with a grunt of effort, pulling Cross over his arm and heaving the mass of fur over his shoulder, he got to his feet unsteadily, balancing with the extra weight (a lot of extra weight) and started to long trek back home, starting with getting out of the apartment as inconspicuously as he could with a 120 pound Werewolf on his back…

[makingfanfictionstosleep]

xavier as a mean dom please 🥺🥺🥺

it took a long while before i could write this, simply because i haven't explored this side of xavier yet. but after they released his new 4 star card, i understood what xavier girls have been seeing.

so here's what i was able to come up with :

Subtle, Underlying Control

Xavier's dominance is like a quiet hand guiding the reins.

MC: "I'm thinking we could do the beach trip, or maybe a city break? What do you think, Xav?"

MC is enthusiastically planning a surprise romantic getaway for them, meticulously laying out brochures and comparing destinations. Xavier watches her with a soft smile.

He'll lean over her shoulder, placing a warm hand gently on her lower back as she points to options. As she narrows down her choices, he'll subtly, almost imperceptibly, nudge a brochure for a secluded, private resort slightly closer to her, while ever so slightly moving another, more bustling option further away. He might "casually" mention an article he read about the first place's excellent stargazing or exclusive amenities, knowing her preferences.

Xavier (quietly, with a knowing glint in his eye): "They both sound wonderful, love. But I recall you mentioning how much you enjoy a sky full of stars... and I hear [Secluded Resort Name] has the clearest nights." He might then add, a low rumble in his chest, "And no distractions."

The subtle physical proximity, the shared secret of his manipulation, and the implication of a private, intimate space away from others would create a hum of anticipation. She might feel a thrill of being so easily "read" and steered by him.

Possessive and Jealous (Hidden but Potent)

Xavier's protectiveness blends with a desire for her undivided attention.

At a social gathering, the MC is engaged in a lively conversation with a charming, new male acquaintance. Xavier is observing from across the room.

Xavier won't storm over. Instead, he'll calmly, almost languidly, walk toward them. He'll place his hand lightly on the small of MC's back, a possessive anchor, and then angle his body slightly, subtly creating a barrier between her and the acquaintance. His gaze, usually gentle, will hold a cool, unwavering intensity as he acknowledges the other person.

MC: "...and that's when the cat ran off with my sandwich!" (Laughs with acquaintance) "Oh, Xavier, this is one of Captain Jenna's mentee."

Xavier (his voice smooth, but with an almost imperceptible edge): "Pleasure. I hope he wasn't keeping you from our plans, love? You know how quickly time can slip away when you're enjoying yourself." He might then gently pull her a fraction closer, a silent reminder of their bond.

The unspoken claim in his touch and gaze, the subtle territoriality, and the underlying current of his desire to have her exclusively create a thrilling tension. She might feel a rush, knowing his quiet possessiveness is purely for her.

Indulgent with a Catch

He gives her freedom, but holds the ultimate say.

MC is excitedly planning a new, somewhat risky creative project that could have significant implications. Xavier listens intently.

He'll let her talk, even encourage her brainstorming, offering thoughtful insights. He might offer to help gather resources or research. But if her plans veer into territory he deems truly dangerous or ill-advised for her, his eyes will darken slightly, and his relaxed posture will become subtly more rigid. He might reach out to cup her cheek, his thumb gently stroking, a gesture that is both tender and subtly warning.

MC: "I'm thinking of doing that special mission that was offered by Captain Jenna, even though everyone says it's crazy and has a high energy reflux!"

Xavier: (after a thoughtful pause, voice low and firm) "I believe in your talent, more than anyone. And I will support you in anything you choose. But... this particular path. It has pitfalls I've seen before. If you were to truly insist, I would ensure you're protected, but know that I would prefer to see you avoid unnecessary hurt. What if we explored a slightly different approach first, one that offers similar rewards with less... exposure?" His hand might then drop to firmly clasp her wrist, a silent plea and command.

The contrast between his indulgence and his underlying protectiveness creates a fascinating dynamic. His willingness to let her explore, coupled with his absolute resolve to step in if needed, highlights his strength and devotion, which can be intensely attractive. The physical contact becomes a silent negotiation of power.

Calm Demeanor, Menacing Voice

His quiet intensity carries more weight than any shout.

Someone has unintentionally, or perhaps intentionally, caused distress to MC in Xavier's presence.

Xavier's expression remains calm, almost placid. He won't lash out. Instead, he'll slowly turn his full attention to the offending party. His gaze will become piercing, cold, and unwavering. He might take a slow, deliberate step closer.

MC (visibly upset): "He just... he was so rude about my work!"

Xavier (turning to the other person, his voice dropping to a near whisper, yet carrying absolute authority that silences the room): "I suggest you re-evaluate your understanding of respect. And perhaps your sense of self-preservation. My partner's feelings are not something to be trifled with. Do we understand each other?" There's no question in his tone, only an expectation of compliance.

For MC, witnessing this calm, yet utterly terrifying display of Xavier's protective nature would be incredibly potent. The sheer power radiating from him, directed at safeguarding her, would be immensely attractive, perhaps even arousing. She'd feel completely safe and cherished in his presence, even as others trembled.

Master of Anticipation and Foresight

He guides her subtly, almost invisibly, to keep her safe.

They are at a crowded event, and MC is about to walk into a situation Xavier knows will be uncomfortable or problematic for her (e.g., encountering someone she dislikes, or a pathway that's about to become a bottleneck).

He won't warn her verbally or pull her abruptly. Instead, his hand will subtly drift to her waist or elbow, guiding her with imperceptible pressure to change direction. He might casually point out something interesting in an entirely different direction, diverting her attention smoothly.

MC: "Oh, I was going to head over there to see the new exhibit." (Starts to move)

Xavier (his grip firm but gentle on her arm, his voice light and charming): "Ah, but have you seen this piece? It's much more... captivating, I think. And the light is perfect for it just over here." He then steers her smoothly away, his eyes subtly scanning the crowd. Later, she might realize the "problem" he helped her avoid.

The effortless way he anticipates and navigates obstacles for her, making her feel safe and cared for without explicitly stating the danger, is deeply comforting and subtly dominant. The close, guiding contact and his inherent knowledge of her needs create a sense of profound intimacy.

Physical Dominance (Subtly Applied)

His strength is a silent, reassuring presence, sometimes taking over.

They are walking through a busy street, and someone accidentally bumps into MC, almost making her stumble.

Before she can even react, Xavier's arm is already around her waist, pulling her firmly and securely against his side. His body acts as an immediate, protective shield. He might not even look at the person who bumped her, his focus entirely on her safety and stability, radiating an aura that discourages further intrusion.

MC: "Oh! Sorry—"

Xavier (his arm tight around her, voice low, only for her): "Careful, love. Stay close." He might then adjust her position, keeping her firmly tucked against him as they continue walking, her pace now dictated by his.

The sudden, powerful embrace, the feeling of being completely enveloped and protected by his strength, is incredibly intimate. His unspoken assertion of his role as her protector, and the physical closeness that results, can be intensely sensual.

The "Lumiere" Persona

Glimpses of his darker, ruthless side, but always in her defense.

MC is being directly threatened or harassed by someone who genuinely means her harm, and Xavier's gentle methods have failed.

His usual calm face goes completely blank, devoid of emotion, yet radiating a terrifying coldness. His eyes become like chips of ice. He might step forward, placing himself squarely between the MC and the threat. His hands, usually so gentle, might clench imperceptibly at his sides. He becomes a predator, silent and lethal.

Harasser: "You're going to regret that, little girl!"

Xavier (his voice unnaturally flat, devoid of warmth, every word a promise): "That's a promise you won't live to keep. Leave. Now. And never let me see your face near her again. Or you will understand true regret." There's no negotiation, only a chilling declaration.

Witnessing this primal, dangerous side of Xavier, unleashed only to protect her, would be both terrifying and incredibly compelling for MC. The sheer power and ruthlessness he possesses, and the knowledge that it is wielded entirely for her sake, could be deeply, almost primitively, arousing. It's the ultimate expression of his devotion.

Taking Control in Intimate Moments

His shyness gives way to a dominant, guiding passion.

They are in a private, intimate setting, perhaps after a long day, and the atmosphere is charged with unspoken desire.

MC might lean in, initiate a kiss, or reach for him. Xavier will respond, but then subtly, firmly, take the lead. His hands might move to cup her face, guiding her head for a deeper kiss, or trace down her back, pulling her flush against him. He might gently push her down onto a couch or bed, his body following, asserting his physical presence and control over the space. He wouldn't rush, but his movements would become deliberate, confident, and utterly focused on their shared intimacy.

MC: (Whispering, reaching for him) "Xavier..."

Xavier (his voice a low, rough murmur against her lips, as he deepens the kiss and presses her back): "Mine. Always. Let me..." His words would trail off into the kiss, his actions speaking volumes. He might whisper instructions, not questions, in between kisses, guiding her hands, her body. "Legs around me, beautiful. Just like that, don't hide from me. Remember, you're not allowed to come unless I say so."

The shift from his usual reserved nature to an unyielding, passionate dominance in intimate moments would be incredibly powerful. His confident, guiding hands, his low whispers, and the way he completely takes over, leaving her breathless and consumed, would heighten the sexual tension immensely. It's the ultimate expression of his deep desire and claim over her.

there you goooo. i hope i was able to somewhat understand his character well.

[730kc]

I just caught up with cinders, and I couldn't SHINICHI'S BACK!!

YAYY!! HE'S BAAACKK!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

(poor Kaito... 🥲)

There was this long pause in updates tho and I don't remember the first 10 chaps or so, hope for a recap

Also maybe in the notes you can add previous things characters said to help readers refresh their memories, works a lot with me since I have long time gaps between updates

*Inhales*

SHINICHI'S BACK!! GATHER AROUND, FOLKS!! THE ROYAL INSPECTOR IS BACK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(Overjoyed)

Hello! This was very sweet to receive! I'm glad to hear that you took the time to catch up on the updates! 🥰 There definitely was a long pause in between each update; unfortunately, I tend to get hit with writer's block/pressure for fics more so than art, but writing a recap is a great idea.

I might do so at the end of each arc. :) Thanks for the suggestion.

Glad you've enjoyed it! 🤭 I've currently been exhausted & sick the past week, so I apologize that I haven't been able to work on creative projects, let alone reply in a timely manner. 🙇

Hoping to rest up and get back to my indulgences!

[vyladerz]

WE ARE SO BACK!!! Sorta. Not really but I don’t want to dismiss this season completely. Season 11 did restore my faith a bit (especially after season 10). I mean in just the first episode we finally get to have a discussion about the whole point of hunting. To save lives. It’s so refreshing to start this season from this point, I just wish we could have ended on the same note.

The highs this season have reached heights I haven't seen since season 5. My patience has been so worth it. Visually the ranking here looks bottom tier heavy but the fifth tier is only C tier and there are moments in those episodes that I can say I did enjoy. The second to last tier can be ranked on it's own cause the Mytharc episodes have me scratching my head. Anyway who's up to reading paragraphs (I'm going to use Chuck and God interchangeably in this post).

-Chuck is God or God is Chuck. You know what? What the hell, go for it. No but I actually fuck with this. It just makes sense, out of anyone it would be Chuck. Episode 20, "Don't Call Me Shurley" blew me away. I want to dissect this episode in its entirety so badly but I will only share a quarter of my thoughts here for now. I'm so happy Metatron wasn't killed off before this episode. A few seasons ago I would have rolled my eyes at the thought of him returning but his presence was so deserved here. His whole writing 101 lesson to Chuck was such a clever way to get some much needed introspection into God and his many complicated relationships. Of course Metatron would be the only one able to truly get God to see how much of a utter coward he is. Metatron's devotion to advocate for humanity despite all it's faults he himself has witnessed and has been apart of is so dear to me. Especially considering his previous distain for anything to do with humanity. I find it so interesting that although Metatron is a scribe who has read the ins and outs of every book ever written, it's not until he became human that he came to appreciate all of humanity. And he did not live a pretty life either, no he was in the dumpster digging for scraps in the beginning of this episode. He was finding his way to survive as a human, the same as Castiel before. Honestly Metatron is a one of a kind type of character in this show and I couldn't see anyone else be able to fill his shoes. Okay this turned into Metatron the novel rather than it being about Chuck like it was meant to be oh well. I will say it is a ballsy move to have God be this grounded but damn did they do it so right. Well, in this episode at least. Plus the addition of Light vs. Darkness within the Supernatural lore felt inevitable. I do think they fumbled with it towards the end but I don't think it should be counted as a total loss. I'd have to make a separate post to speak my thoughts on the Mytharc overall this season if anyone cares to read about it.

Anyway Chuck/God is bisexual so cheers.

-Baby and the amulet mentioned!!! A Baby centric episode has been long overdue and boy oh boy did it have me falling in love with this show all over again. I know I made a post before about my favorite Supernatural episode being "Changing Channels" and the others happening to be Gabriel episodes but I think I have to pass the crown to "Baby." I love it so much I get so giddy when I think about the many layers that all come together to make such a beautifully cohesive story. It has heart, drama, great fight scenes, creative camera shots, silly brother bonding, and still pushes the main narrative along. What more could I ask for?? (Balanced storytelling will always win me over). I never thought I'd see an episode like this after season 5. I'm so glad they proved me dead wrong. I didn't realize how much I missed Baby, she's truly her own character in this show. Speaking of missing prominent objects that symbolize familial love and the brotherhood between Sam and Dean...yes the amulet. I've had this sore spot in my heart ever since I witnessed Dean throw it out all the way back in season 5. Then it was mentioned in the episode "Fan Fiction" last season which just hurt me even more. Now here it is after so much heartache, it's back and with a fair explanation to where it's been. I've always half joked with my sibling that Sam picked it up after it was thrown away and I'm sticking to that interpretation even more so now since the show seems to support it. Now if Dean and Sam could mention it in conversation...then I'll be free.

-Casifer was fun lol. I mean Misha Collins you've done it again. I saw recently on Twitter that people were saying that his depiction of Lucifer was too over the top and that it was his acting choices that made this character nothing more than a joke. I’d have to disagree, yes his performance was very expressive and leaned into a comedic portrayal of the character but he was still entirely in character. Lucifer using comedy to be an overall unhinged menace has been a thing since season 7 (Back then he was only a hallucination so I let it slide with little thought). So Misha’s performance doesn’t come out of nowhere, this characterization, whether we agree with it or not, has already existed and is accurate. This is purely a writing issue and not one that falls on the actor. And man do I personally not care for the writing choices made this season when it comes to Lucifer. This season has pushed its limits to how far I’m willing to take his comedic aspects because I find it has overshadowed the parts that make him compelling and sinister. I don’t know why the writers neglected these sides of him in favor of being a comedic relief which just has me rolling my eyes. Yes I like Casifer, as a one off thing that was very entertaining to watch but I know that this is going to be the direction they continue in and that bugs me. Anyway, Misha’s performance helped make Lucifer way more palatable and likable to the audience. Which is important because this character we are meant to despise is on screen for basically the whole season. I also do think Casifer did go on for a bit too long, there's a reason Souless Sam and Demon Dean don't last for entire seasons. It gets draining to watch real fast. This trend of having nothing for Castiel to do for basically a whole season is still continuing and I'm so over it. How long has it been since a true Team Free Will moment? Not saying Cas can only do something when it involves the brothers but come on it's been a long dry spell without an episode focused on the main three.

-This next part is in relation to episode: "We Happy Few." The whole "God is a deadbeat dad" thing was used as an analogy to describe what is a very complex relationship between a God and an archangel but now here it's so literal. You've got to be kidding. Why are we dumbing down Lucifer to a stubborn whiny bratty child?? (Again to reiterate, I don’t blame Misha’s performance, he was working with the script they gave him). They somehow had these larger than life entities' lore be devolved into some shitty reality tv show. You will not make me believe the relationship between God and Lucifer can be resolved through a sit down conversation (To be fair, it doesn't get resolved but it's sorta baffling that I have to watch them even try). How am I supposed to take any of these characters who are supposed to be menacing and these grand imposing figures within this show when they pull things like this?? I know I previously sung praise for this creative decision however, the lack of nuance between these pivotal character interactions just ends up make everything so cartoonish. For example, I would have thought there was going to be some engaging conflict with Sam and Dean's perspectives regarding faith once God, excuse me, Chuck, was in the picture. However, there was no questioning whatsoever this time around. For some unknown reason they decided that the whole emotional core of Supernatural, that being faith, shouldn't be a part of the story at that crucial moment. There's a huge opportunity here for even just a simple conversation between the brothers and Chuck. I mean, Sam and Dean are in the same room as God and NOTHING comes of it?? Sam especially should have had a voice here. Ugh it hurts to see the brothers being so docile and blindly following them. What a waste of an opportunity and now that Chuck's gone I'm just going to have to turn to fan fiction to get what should have been canon.

-The ending. The ending wasn't totally hopeless. Sam letting go of Dean was emotional in a very subdued way. It wasn't over the top like it was trying to force tears or convince me this was totally the end. It wasn't for the audience but it was just for them. This proves Sam has grown so much even just from the last season. Which is so refreshing to see because I wanted to let go of season 10’s characterization. The setup for the Men of Letters and the resurrection of Mary had me intrigued. I mean I did get spoiled before, I saw a clip of Mary with the boys at one point so I can't lie and say I'm shocked. I'm sure if I wasn't already aware I'd be losing it a little. I'm ready for something new that has nothing to do with Lucifer or Gods. If things can go down a notch as far as grandeur storytelling is concerned for just a season or hey just a few episodes then I'll be good.

I wouldn't say this season is a step down from season 10. There have been glimpses of the show remembering what works and finding it's sweet spot throughout this season. Overall I liked this season and what it had setup for the most part. Now on to season 12 with hope that some good has stuck.

[geminid]

talking about creative endeavors

i've been chugging along for now. I may not post much for a while because I'm hoping to draw a long comic. I'm in the process of writing the script but the scenario is all planned out and hopefully it won't be more than 60 pages. (grimace emoji)

I never really talk about WIPs because I think maybe if people know what's coming they won't enjoy the final piece as much but I guess if you're that sort of person you can stop reading now

I wanted to make a comic about Leo trying to learn more about Hoshido by visiting various places, and while they travel alone together, Takumi is confronted by a lot of feelings towards his friend. It's a pretty simple set up but I think if I get too into things like lore and worldbuilding (or if I forsake that entirely) I'm going to create something confusing. As usual the story is mostly fluff and romance with a little bit of insecurity from Takumi who is the main POV character.

I've been thinking about making a longer comic for a while and I'm really happy to finally have a concept and I really hope this time I make it through to the end. I don't talk about it a lot but I started a very big AU comic and I got to 70 pages in the sketch but that wasn't even halfway through the script I planned and it grew too daunting to continue. potentially 30-60 pages is a lot more doable.

That being said I've always been sort of afraid of disappearing from the internet. I'm already not very publicly active and frankly I don't really know how to interact with the internet without my art being the focal point of my existence here. I don't feel particularly brave about it. But I think in the more recent months reaction to my art has declined and less people look at my work now anyway, so it might be the best time to be able to go on yaoi sabbatical?

lastly, baby leo getting added to feh? I'm busy with comms right now though so I feel like I can't even draw fanart or do anything about his existence. but he's very cute. I'm happy that his past 2 feh alts haven't been heavily tomato focused and he feels a lot more like himself now. Also another leo in less than a year? what happened to the intelligent systems that forgot he existed for 4 years? highly suspicious (im joking)

[loversandantiheroes]

I don't know that I've talked that much about the general state of..like...me in awhile, and since it hit me that I'm like 3 years post-covid and at least that into the yawning abyss of this temp hiatus, I reckon it's due.

Physical/mental health stuff under the cut, general whining alert, etc.,

I don't even remember now when I officially put up the hiatus notice, but it's more or less been on since I wrapped the third chapter of Hotel Hobbies, and that feels several decades ago at this point. Initially it was just a really bad combination of creative burnout (self-inflicted bc why enjoy your creative outlet when you can throw yourself on the fire to keep it burning), my at the time untreated mental health issues, and back-to-back online/fandom friendship disasters that just left me feeling like more of a crater than a person.

Since then things have been very up and down. Some of the friendships mended, some never did and have left some lingering sore spots on things I wish I could still enjoy. I managed to get my ass to a doctor and started the process of getting back into treatment for my depression, finally got a diagnosis for ADHD at the ripe old age of 38, got into therapy, and spent a lot of time bouncing between medications trying to find something that works for me. Sadly, that process is still ongoing.

In the process of all that, though, I finally brought the issue of the god-awful persistent fatigue I've been dealing with to my doctor, and asked to be referred to cardiology. After three weeks of wearing a heart monitor and a quick lay-down/stand-up EKG, they confirmed POTS. I don't know if it's a gift from Covid, or an unfortunate result of the sheer amount of stress I've dealt with in the last decade and change, but it's a fucking bear to deal with, and I can't say I recommend it. Doc is also of the opinion that I have an a-typical case of PCOS. Just collectin' all the acronyms.

Suffice it to say that, while it absolutely could 100% be so much worse, it does turn out my physical health is...less than ideal.

On top of that at the tail end of last year, the month before the election, I finally realized that my burnout isn't just an "oh tee hee you wroted too hard" thing. Apparently caregiver burnout is an actual thing. And uh. Well, I fit the bill. I had hoped to be able to use this year to start shifting things around and try to work on that, try to give myself some more room to breathe and find some way to take the weight off of my shoulders (I'd started looking into adult daycare for my dad to give me a literal break once in awhile).

And then, well. November. And now we're here. And the fascist fucks are chomping at the bit to take away all the things that keep us afloat. My health care. My job. Dad's healthcare. His social security. It's an ugly-ass Sword of Damocles situation.

So yeah. I don't really have a point to draw to in all this except to say that I'm fucking tired. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, the whole nine yards. I've been running on empty for a long time, and it's proving a lot harder than I'd hoped to try and fill that tank up. And with as uncertain a future as we're facing right now, I don't expect it's going to improve all that much for a wee while.

I keep thinking that I should've made a patreon back before they changed all fees and such, but honestly, even if I had, I still don't have anything I can offer in exchange. I've got like three stacks of brain fog at all times, and my ADHD meds only work on one of 'em. I can hardly string a coherent sentence together most days. If you've wondered why I've been quieter than usual, or less responsive in messages, that's why. Fuckin' Pyramid Head clompin around up there.

Anyway, I guess, all this to say that I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get back to writing or painting. Believe me, I wish I could. I miss it terribly. But the spoons are too few and the fog is too thick.

It will get better, I hope, if circumstances allow. I hope they do. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless these days.

But yeah. Miss you nerds💖

[asexualbookbird]

Okay, so, I didn't read a whole lot this month. Hear me out. I'm not mad about it. I got SO much crafting done across different mediums. Nothing to show for it, really, but I'm having so much fun being creative in a way I haven't felt in a very long time. I think I might actually be able to set up some type of tiny shop about it, too. Got my embroidery machine up and running in a way that allows me to create my own designs, and when I tell you the creative juices are flowing, boy howdy it's like a dam has broken. I also started pokemon Violet, and while that's slow going, I'm having a lot of fun with it. So, no I'm not mad at my reading habits this month.

In the Ravenous Dark by AM Strickland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Phew. Okay. This was. A very bumpy ride. The first half was a slog, honestly, and the writing and pacing is not great, but the last third or so reminded me a lot of Beyond the Ruby Veil which was also not outstanding, but it was fun. Fucked up, feral lesbians. Poly family friendship going on. The plot is so basic, the magic neat, the worldbuilding lacking. I would not read it again, but at the end I'm not entirely mad I did.

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch ⭐️ - I don't even know what to say. I didn't expect to be wowed, I went in expecting no more than a mediocre thriller. What I got was A Book Written By A Man™️. How many times can a guy fridge one wife? Infinitely, apparently! I was semi on board until he started fighting his other selves. That was dumb as shit.

The Art of Prophecy by Wesley Chu ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - *Gordon Ramsay voice* Finally, a good fucking book. This took me most of the month to read, but I'm not mad about it. It was nice to sit quietly with this book, and while it took it's time, I never felt bored with it. I can't really pinpoint what keeps it from five stars, and maybe my rating will change in the future, but I did really enjoy this. It has a wonderful cast, everyone felt very real and well rounded, it was bloody, but never felt gratuitously so. It was a good book and I very much want to continue the series.

Favorite of the month was most definitely Art of the Prophecy. Kind of unfair because Dark Matter was such a disaster, but Ravenous Dark had it's perks. Mainly being batshit crazy and ending in polyamory.

My friends, as always, have been incredibly kind to me. I could not have gotten through the last couple months without them. Would like to do a couple of buddy reads in the coming months. I really did like taking my time with a longer book, and I think I'm ready to tackle the final book in the Rook and Rose trilogy. My library also finally got a copy of The Bone Maker on audio and while I haven't listened to an audiobook since December, I'm excited to give that a listen. As always, be kind whenever possible.

[mediumgayitalian]

jackie we miss you!!! hope ur doing well!!

okay HI GUYS i am finally for the first time in months looking thru my inbox. i am doing this while the gr 5 class i am supplying for goes wild around me lol. they have a free period and they are Noisy kids.

SO. hiatus! i did go on a hiatus. i did not announce it because i did not rly intend to bug off, but i got cramped at work and then i was just tired all the time and i wasn't writing and anything i WAS writing was awful, and i lost confidence, and i stopped writing for months. it was heartbreaking! it has made it harder to enjoy the beautiful world around me.

BUT! ive nearly finished my first year of teachers college and i have made so many friends this year and have been able to, for the most part, handle my stressors with some degree of tact and maturity, and most of all i missed writing like a hole in my side, so regardless of whether or not i feel like i CAN still write i have returned.

now. will this daily posting thing last?? i don't know. i don't want to make promises, because i'm genuinely not sure. i am not as lonely as i was when i first started writing and i have other things now to fill my time and mind; i have fewer ideas now that i'm not dumping one hundred percent of my creative energy into making stories. i would like for this to last! i would like to finish all the fics i started last year and maybe even start some new ones; i would also love to be able to write all 100 prompts of the 100 ways series. that would be cool. for now the goal is to keep posting, but i'm not stressing myself out about it. if that makes sense.

what about fic rec fridays?? will they return? well, that i'm actually not too sure about. one of the biggest reasons i've been so bereft of ideas for the past while is because i haven't been READING anything. i'm not sure why! i've read the actual series a few times in the last year but fanfiction -- and i mean any fanfiction -- hasn't been able to hold my attention, for the first time of my life. it's kind of devastating and i'm not sure why but i really truly hope i get over it soon, because i know everyone has been writing and doing amazing things and i want to be involved (all this to say -- if you have any stellar recs, i'd appreciate them! i'm having trouble finding stuff on my own). right now i'm just re-reading stuff from years and years ago; if i start regularly reading fic again i will start recommending things again.

a very long, rambly message to say: hi everyone! i've missed you! i'm excited to be back, and thanks for being patient with me!

[corvidaerook]

I've been seeing a lot of posts recently about how Veilguard has inspired people to get back into their creative hobbies after long breaks away, and I have to be honest, it's really nice to see because I'm in the same boat. People have their issues with the game, but I can never dislike anything about it too much because it's basically the only reason I'm actively writing right now. It's been an inspiration in a way I didn't expect.

Like, I've been in a major writers block period for nearly two years because someone kind of ruined writing / engaging with fandom for me. I used to publish 10k+ word fics weekly because I was having so much fun writing, but in the last few years, I haven't even been able to write a short one-shot without feeling stuck. And it's honestly been really unfortunate because writing has been my main hobby for over a decade, so feeling so disconnected from it sucked!

And playing Veilguard has actually gotten me back to a place where I feel like, not only can I write something and might actually finish it, but like I'm enjoying it. I can sit down and write for hours without constantly stopping to be bothered by how slow I feel or how it's not going the way I wanted or feeling like my words aren't working. I don't have to trick myself into writing by letting myself reuse my exact favorite tropes or anything like that. I just want to write for it, so I do. Veilguard's given me back creativity I kind of thought was just gone.

To me, the characters are compelling and make me want to write them; the game's story line feels whole, but like it still gives me a lot of room to explore; the romances are beautiful as they are, but still leave enough that I can fill in blank scenes; there are so many different things to think about that I can deviate heavily from my primary tropes and not blink at all; like everything about the game is so fun, and it makes me genuinely wanna write in a way that I haven't had for a few years now, and I love it for that, regardless of the issues that it has (as any game does.)

And not only has it given me a new inspiration for writing, but it's also made me want to participate in a fandom more than I have for a few years, too! I'm joining events and doing challenges and all this stuff that I haven't felt like I could do in forever, including an event that I kind of figured I wouldn't do again because it's how I met the toxic friend who ruined writing/fandom for me in the first place. It sounds silly, but Veilguard has been really incredible for me because it feels like I'm just here to have fun without anything extra. The fandom I've been exposed to is primarily people who are kind and supportive of each other and are willing to lift each other up, and I think it's really contributed to how comfortable I am, which in turn makes me feel like I can write and be involved in a fandom space again.

Honestly, seeing other people talk about how they got into their creative hobbies again because of Veilguard really just makes me appreciate it even more than I did just from playing it. I think the best pieces of art aren't the ones that are critically the best or that have the least complaints about it or whatever, but the ones that inspire other people to want to create things too, and Veilguard's done that in a really cool way.

[twnj]

✨️In the grand tradition of some good friends of mine, I have decided to post a yearly recap. It seems strange to do this in the middle of the year, I know - but gather round and I will explain why I have chosen today. 🤓 ✨️

I've flitted in and out of fandom life for 20yrs now but was never Part Of fandom in the way I have experienced these last 12 months.

I had a terrible time through covid for various reasons (which now seems like a life time ago) and as such I dived back into art and fics and all things lovely and familiar and nerdy. I joined tumblr 😀

I've been floating around the fandom spheres since then, but these last 12 months in particular have been a year of firsts for me (or first-time-in-a-long-time-s, I guess 🤭).

I've chosen today specifically because this was the month I became completely and utterly batshit-obsessed with the fic Grandmaster and the 25th is when the all round fantastic person and author @notquitejiraiya replied to my massive wall of text in her DMs. I don't think she knows it - and it sounds very dramatic - but my mental heath, self esteem and fandom life were tranformed after that day.

(Side note: If only my 14yr old self knew that in the future she could reach out to her favourite creators to discuss their work - at length on a regular basis - her wee head would have exploded!🤓)

Not only could she endure my incessant screaming and frothing at the mouth about her writing, but this wonderful person introduced me to a whole new community (an Ino-Shika-Cho server) with the most colourful, funny and braw (good) folk, whom I have genuinely enjoyed getting to know and become friends with ❤️

This wee community brought with it not only some of the best fanfics I've ever read, but also art and music, books, movies, ideas from different cultures and one of the most important parts of this recap - a return to my own creativity 🖌🎨✏️

With the encouragement of my new friends, I scribbled my first sketch in 15 years and I haven't stopped since!

I didn't realise how much I had missed the creative process until then. I now have over 300 pieces (not all published) and it all started from the need to see a character standing at a bar with an orange Walkman. (If you know, you know 🎧👀)

Since then (and in no particular order) I have taken part in several events such as the Chojikurai Week hosted by @mybutterflykindred and my first ever event curtesy of the lovely and talented @unioncolours who ran a very successful Shikajin Weekend last year. I took the opportunity to explore these bois from all angles and try some different art styles. These are my faves, here and here and here!

Since joining the server I've had the privilege to learn and get advice from fellow artists @backgroundcharacterno5 and an-empty-heart who have far more patience and eye for detail than I could ever wish for.

I've had the honour of helping beta @servenna 's roller coaster of a series 'Holiday Banter' and @phoenixleaf 's sand sibling fic 'The Butler of the Sand', and was even commissioned (although I use that term loosely 🤭) by @image13lyub to make some art for a gift - it was mindblowing to see something I had drawn on the cover of an actual physical book! 🤯

I branched out to fanart outwith my Naruto brainrot too - more notably from a series of fantasy books by Ilona Andrews that the heavenly Servenna introduced me to 6 months ago (and have literally listened to on repeat since 😵‍💫), and I even wrote my first proper poem featuring Sai with the help of the amazingly talented and beautiful person @clumsydragon28, which without her would not have looked like a real poem at all!! 😘

I joined twitter again (mainly to post/see nsfw pieces) but also to see what the wider fandom world was saying! I find it a bit noisy tbh so I'm not on it very often 😅 BUT I was able to interact with some of my favourite artists AND HAVE THEM COMMENT ON MY OWN PIECES 🤯🫠🥹 I have posted the vast majority of my work but I didn't keep up with my master list, so some of my posts are now lost to the mists of Tumblr...

When I was but a young quine (girl) I dabbled in writing my own fics (which can unfortunately be found abandoned on FF.net still). I have done a few drabbles on and off since then, but I fell in love with the idea of niche AUs after reading 'Grandmaster' and the EPIC tale 'No one cries for unknown soldiers' by unioncolours. (I cried so much reading that one!).

As a result I have been sitting on an AU idea of my own; rotating it slowly in my mind for nearly 6 months now, too afraid to take the plunge and properly commit it to paper.

As I've said to many before, I have never been very good at the mechanics of writing (spelling, punctuation etc) and this has always put me off. But with the encouragement of others I managed to put 4k words onto paper and get some semblance of a plot...kind of. A bit. 👀

I'm still not sure where it's going or what it all really means, but I wanted to explore the ideas of women in STEM and Scottish rural culture (which sounds crazy, I know!) through my OTP Shikatema 🫠😍

I was walking along the beach front a few nights ago, looking out across the north sea coast with a beautiful setting sun, the crunching of smooth pebbles under my feet and smell of salt in the air, and I thought to myself '...I really just need to start writing that fucking fic'.

So with that, I tentatively - humbly - offer up the first installment of my first 'real' fic.

Caledonia, You're Calling Me on ao3

It becomes harder to meet new friends as time goes on and I've been very fortunate to have a good circle of friends irl. However, it wasn't until this year I discovered how invigorating and enjoyable it can be to be part of a supportive group who are also as obsessed and fixated on the same beautiful nerd stuff as you are; where you can be "as loud and obnoxious as you want about the things that bring you joy and are just as loud and excited right along with you 🥰❤️" as a good friend said to me just the other day.

Honestly, this round up doesn't even touch the surface, but I have really found myself again through art and friendship and I can't wait for what comes next! ✨️

[sazzujazzu]

Save me cute goggle man

It's been too long since I've drawn Tech and also used actual paper so I did both. Here's a quick lil Tech, enjoy ✨

(needless sad bs under the cut, no need to read it, I just needed to write it, just enjoy the drawing is all I ask)

Got shitty news right before Easter and it drained all the rest of my creative well (tho I do want to draw those silly lil Loth kittens at some point, thems furballs were adorable)

Decided to half-force myself to draw, and of course it had to be Tech my beloved.

I miss this show but haven't been able to watch it again since it ended. I began watching Aftermath like 5 months ago and it's still midway through. I want the passion back 🥲 How can I regain the passion for this lovely show and fandom 🥺

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

as much as i love buggy, i’m gonna request sanji for the fluffy alphabet!

let’s go foooor… C, D, N, U, and Y please! (my goldfish brain forgot if you said five at the most lol)

i love your work sm and i really wish you all the best!

Yay flirty chef!! Most of the requests for the Fluffabet have been Mihawk so far, which I am NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT I love him a very abnormal amount; but Sanji is just so precious and writing for him just

*melts into a silly giggling puddle*

Aaaaanyway. I very much want to thank you for requesting the letter U, I've kind of been looking forward to it, since it gives me creative freedom to brainstorm further and deeper into the characters and their quirks/psychologies, and I always love doing that.

Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy!!!

Also feel free to come back and make requests for Buggy, as I've gotten none for him yet at all. Sad clown noises.

Also also, since someone else asked, requests for the Fluffy Alphabet will remain open until all letters are claimed for all characters; and I'll still accept requests for other characters I haven't listed if I feel I can write them and do them justice, I just listed the ones I did because they're the ones I've written the most. Until I state on my Masterpost that requests are closed, they are very much open!!

C is for Courtship (How would they court you?)

“The heavens must be dull these days with their most beautiful goddess stuck down here.”

Firmly believes it was love at first sight, and Sanji is absolutely determined to win you over. As much as he wants to pull you in by your hands, wrap his arms around you, and tell you he’s loved you since the moment he first laid eyes on you; he also doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and risk blowing his chances.

Flirty, flirty, flirty. He can’t help it, it's just what he does—but he’s respectful about it, dropping silly little lines designed to make you giggle, hopefully make you blush a little. Beyond that, though, he’s going to make every effort possible to legitimately get to know you; your likes and dislikes, your goals, your dreams, everything, wanting to ensure that you know he’s interested in you for more than just being a pretty face that happened to catch his eye.

If you flirt back, you’re never going to be able to get rid of him, he’s your responsibility now, basically a lost puppy that followed you home, end of story.

He’s bent on impressing you, so your first date he’s going to insist on cooking for you, just the two of you—meeting you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers (he made sure to ask in passing about your favorites at some point beforehand), with a light kiss on the cheek and a soft touch at your waist.

D is for Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning and other such household chores?)

“No, no, you sit down and relax, I can handle this, love. Really.”

Settling down with you would be a dream come true. He does have his dream of finding the All Blue, but if you’re willing to come with him on that adventure, then the journey there would be just as much of a dream to him as the destination itself.

It doesn’t take him very long at all to decide that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and he’ll do anything to make that happen.

He’s quite cleanly and organized in general—having spent the better part of his formative years working in a professional kitchen, it’s become a force of habit. If something needs to be cleaned, to be tidied up or organized, he’s going to do so automatically, without even really thinking about it. He would much rather just see you relaxing, will probably protest a bit about you “doing too much” if you lift a finger to so much as sweep a floor.

You already know that cooking is handled. Cooking, kitchen maintenance in general. That goes without saying. Even if you enjoy cooking as well and you want to cook with him (absolute bonus, he loves cooking with you), he’s going to be right behind you wiping down the counters, washing and drying all the dishes as you go before you even have a chance to drop them in the sink.

N is for Needs (What do they need in a healthy relationship?)

“I don’t know how I ever survived without you in my life, sweetheart.”

Sanji can be a bit on the needy side. It isn’t that he lacks confidence, or that he absolutely requires constant reassurance—he just adores you, and wants to spend every minute possible with you, making sure that you know how precious you are to him.

If you’re near him, he needs to be touching you in some capacity. Whether it’s subtle, his hand resting at the small of your back while he stands next to you, or his arm curled around you and touching your waist; or if he’s pulling you back against him, arms around your waist or hands at your hips, resting his chin at your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your cheek, he always wants to be close to you.

Constantly telling you how much he loves you, showering you with praise for every little thing you do. If it gets to be too overwhelming he will back off—but you’re still going to catch him out of the corner of your vision with his own eyes glued to you, smiling and sighing as if you’re the single most incredible thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

That being said, if you argue about anything at all, he’ll be an absolute wreck, apologizing incessantly and begging your forgiveness; and he might need a fair amount of reassurance after the fact that you aren’t upset anymore. He can’t stomach the thought of upsetting you, because losing you would utterly devastate him.

U is for Unique (What’s something unique about them that no one knows but you?)

“It’s fine, just couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d get a head start on breakfast. You can go back to bed.”

Cooking is of course his passion—but it can, and sometimes does, double as a coping mechanism. He has a deeply troubled past, and every so often it might plague him in the form of nightmares.

In which case you’ll often  wake up to find his side of the bed empty; to find him in the kitchen in the wee hours of the night or morning, while everyone else is asleep, either prepping meals for the day or experimenting with new recipes to set his mind at ease.

He’s happy to accept if you offer to help, or if you just decide to sit up with him and offer your company. He’ll probably try to convince you to go back to bed, that there’s no need for you to lose sleep, but he’s not going to turn you down if you insist. It’s a gamble whether or not he’ll talk with you about what’s bothering him, or if he’ll keep a bit more quiet than usual while he immerses himself in his work. Either way, he appreciates your presence and your support more than you could ever know.

The menial, repetitive task of preparing ingredients in particular offers a pillar of stability and structure that helps him to breathe a little easier, to sort through that turmoil and make better sense of it; while the act of experimenting with something new helps steer his mind back to the present rather than dwelling on what woke him in the first place.

Y is for Yearning (What’s something that they yearn for when you’re separated?)

“Oh, no, love, I assure you, I definitely missed you more.”

It would be better to ask what he doesn’t yearn for. He simply can’t stand being apart from you, for any length of time. It isn’t that he doesn’t trust you, that doesn’t even cross his mind. He knows you’ll come back to him. He just can’t stand the length of time that you aren’t there.

Your touch, your scent, your face, your eyes, your body—your smile, your laugh, your voice, your embrace, your kisses—whether it’s minutes or hours or days that you happen to be apart, you’re the only thing that he can think about, having you back by his side, in his arms, safe and sound.

Life on the sea isn’t the safest, and he’s going to spend the entire time you're apart worried that something might happen to you. Even if you’re capable of handling yourself, he would feel much better being with you, knowing that he’s there to keep you safe.

And when you are together again, he makes it very clear just how much he missed you, all but literally gluing himself to your side, incessant in his insistence of how much he missed you, how he doesn’t ever want to spend that long apart again.

Even if it was only five minutes. Doesn’t matter, time is irrelevant, any amount of time away from you is far too long.

[those70scomics]

Update

I've been COVID-free for a week, and I've made great progress writing One Difference: Donna Gives Hyde and Jackie the Led Zeppelin Tickets (idea from @burkhaart ♥️).

Some fun pieces of info about the story:

I do research for all my stories and found a Led Zeppelin concert that would've been possible for Donna, etc. to go to around the time of "Fez Gets the Girl". I listened to that two-hour-plus show on repeat while I wrote the first third of the story, both for emotional inspiration and to get specific details of the concert right (beyond the setlist). I also looked at many pictures from that concert.

One Difference stories explore how one difference can change everything in the T7S universe. They're a unique type of What If? fic. I'd originally planned to keep this story short (four chapters), but then I thought readers would want to know the impact on the T7S characters beyond that one night. With Jackie and Hyde going to the concert, Fez and Caroline don't ...

I'd intended One Difference: Jackie and Hyde Don't Kiss (Over the Summer) to be twelve chapters. It became thirty-one.

So we'll see how long this one gets. 🙈😂 But I'm really enjoying Jackie and Hyde's dynamic in this story. It's an angle I haven't explored before (but with some familiarity because their canon is their canon).

This will be the next fanfic I post (after a long, unavoidable wait since my last posted fic The Understudy). Even though I haven't been able to share all the T7S fanworks I've, er, worked on since I got out of the hospital a little less than two years ago -- and it's frustrating for me 🙃😊😅 -- the creativity hasn't stopped.

How are all of you doing? 🤗

[ducktracy]

i keep making posts like this, but there's no such thing as too much gratitude, so here goes: just wanted to thank my friends and followers for your eternal patience and support 🙇 mental health struggles are nothing new with me, but i have definitely been struggling much more than is per my baseline this past year or so. it's impeded all of my productivity and non-productivity--i'm having an excruciating time tending to hobbies, because i need a somewhat clear mind to focus on them, much less baseline of self confidence, and the same applies to work, or even just existing... literally Everything has been a tremendous struggle. and the guilt at my not being able to tend to even the things i love most, or guilt AT tending them, is all consuming, and it leads me to compulsively make these posts apologizing, which then leads to me feeling extremely bad for immediately after, etc. my self confidence has admittedly been at an all time low, until it's not, and then it is again, etc. i just have not been liking My Me lately and have been feeling particularly dour lately, feeling useless for my inability to maintain reviews or all of the asks and DMs and Discord messages i haven't responded to, or even inability to do something as simple as just watch a 7 minute cartoon i enjoy. it'll pass, as it always does, until it doesn't, and then it does again, and so on. i'm hopeful, even if i feel utterly hopeless in this moment--so i just wanted to thank you for your support. it always means a lot, but particularly in this moment where i really haven't been able to support myself. i've had a few people within the past few months call different creative pursuits of mine "underrated", and while i know it shouldn't matter, i create for myself first and foremost, i have been struggling a lot with feeling like my work--drawings, writing, etc--is too niche or indigestible for most people and if i'm putting so much blood sweat and tears in something to immediately get buried again. i hate saying these things because then it puts the "blame" on the ""consumer"" (using that facetiously), and that's awful, and there is no blame, and also people sure as hell have more to worry about than reading a 20k word review on some 80 year old cartoon that maybe 7 people care about. but i have been sort of questioning my "usefulness" lately and just feeling very Down about this stuff, so the sentiment is appreciated immensely.

anyhoo, apologies for the emotional word vomit, today has been a very grueling mental health day and i usually try not to be too vulnerable about this stuff (without deleting it later lol), but i just wanted to vice my thanks again. i apologize for my art and reviews taking too long, and i apologize for those who have been waiting months for a reply, and i apologize for if my Stuff--posts, art, writing, general demeanor--is too inapproachable. i usually don't worry about these things, and i know at some point i won't again, but it's admittedly been a very big bother lately. just been feeling like i'm constantly disappointing multiple people--most especially myself--with every waking moment lately. so i'm always appreciative of your feedback and presence, but especially now, when it may be more difficult for me to actually digest. so thank you immensely for your support, and i hope you're able to treat yourselves to something nice this evening 🙇